FW July 2020

July 2020

July 2020 | 1

Wake Forest Baptist Health

2 | ForsythWoman.com

Best Asian Restaurant & Runners Up Sushi 2019 NEW:

DINING ROOM NOW OPEN! Monday - Thursday 11:30am - 9:30pm Friday 11:30 - 10pm Saturday Noon - 10pm Sunday Noon - 9pm

HakkaChow

!SAFETY INFORMATION!

WEAR WAIT WASH

a mask when you go out or are around others and social distancing is not possible

at least six-feet apart when standing in line your hands frequently, and for at least 20 seconds with soap and water

Biggest Sake Selection in the Triad.

More than 20 different Sake available.

NEW WEEKLY DRINK SPECIALS Monday all wine bottles 30% off Tuesday all moscow mule cocktails $3 off Wednesday all mojito cocktails $3 off Thursday half price wine by the glass Friday half price flavored sake by the glass Saturday bottled beer $1.50 off and draft beer $2 off Sunday mimosas and bloody marys $5

Winner Best Asian

Best Sushi Runner Up

(336) 893-8178 | hakka-chow.com 615 Saint George Sq Ct | Winston-Salem, NC 27103 (Right off Hanes Mall Blvd. across from the Wynnsong 12 Movie Theater)

July 2020 | 3

Restoration Med Spa

4 | ForsythWoman.com

Second Harvest Food Bank

July 2020 | 5

Club Pilates

6 | ForsythWoman.com

GOLDMAN CENTER for Facial Plastic Surgery Facial Rejuvenation Minimally Invasive Surgery Skin Rejuvenation & Fractional Laser Therapy Fillers & Injectables Aesthetic & Functional NasalGoldman Surgery Center Hair Restoration Surgery

With Offices Serving the Piedmont & the High Country 108 Dornach Way | Advance, NC (336) 245-9595 Kinderton Village – across from Bermuda Run

717 Greenway Road | Suite A | Boone, NC (828) 278-9230 NEAL D. GOLDMAN, MD Double Board Certified Facial Plastic Surgeon

FacialPlasticSurgeryNC.com July 2020 | 7

31, 2020

4th Annual

EZRA GOLDBACH FOUNDATION GOLF TOURNAMENT Friday, July 31, 2020

Ezra Goldbach’s family and friends are honoring his life by having the 4th Annual Golf Tournament in his memory at Pilot Knob Park Country Club in Pilot Mountain.

We are excited to see everyone again this year and welcome anyone that hasn’t played before to join us!

Ezra Foundation

Each year a scholarship will be awarded to an upcoming college student with academic merit that has goals for a brilliant future and has played on the high school golf team. In addition, The Ezra Goldbach Foundation has donated to many other local charities and underprivileged families throughout the community. Each year we have a goal to reach out and to help a school or family with needs.

Please mark your calendar for Friday July 31st for a fun day of golf in Ezra’s memory!!!

There will be lots of food and hydration available! Prizes and giveaways too! All this and the incredible golf at P.K.P . We thank everyone in advance for being a part of this awesome day!!

DATE: FRIDAY, JULY 31, 2020 TIME: 8:30 & 2:00 SHOTGUN START FORMAT: CAPT. CHOICE/SCRAMBLE TEAM: (4) PERSON COST: $75.00 per person; GOLD, SILVER, BRONZE and TEE SPONSORSHIPS available. LUNCH: WILL BE SERVED FROM 1:00 – 2:00

For additional information see Ezra Goldbach Foundation Golf Tournament on Facebook or email ezragoldbachfoundation@gmail.com

8 | ForsythWoman.com

Piedmont Federal Savings Bank

July 2020 | 9

25

GIRLS ALL DAY OUT THURSDAY, JULY 23 | 8AM - 8PM

50 68 92 18 Keeping it Real 20 The Psychology of Shopping 36 Interviewing Remotely: The New Frontier 46 COVER STORY Lyndhurst Gynecologic Associates Nurturing Like Never Before! 60 Inspiration in Unlikely Places 74 Your Guide to Booking Your First Airbnb 78 When Anxiety Doesn’t Seem Like Anxiety 90 To Your Health 96 Women on the Move

Check out our online calendar at ForsythWoman.com 10 | ForsythWoman.com

Downtown Winston-Salem Partnership

July 2020 | 11

The View From This Side J U LY 2 0 2 0

Dear Readers, It’s my birthday month! July is always a fun time, with birthday celebrations for me and my dear friend/business partner, Robin Bralley! We spend time with family, and that almost always involves the boat and the lake... so I’ll be celebrating birthday # 61 on the water, with lots of fun and laughter! Also, one of my favorite people in the world, my niece, Kelley Carnall, is turning 40 on July 9th! Check out her celebration on page 92!

I hope this month is a wonderful month of celebration for you and your family, birthday or not… We celebrate our nation’s independence with the Fourth of July, but it may be hard to celebrate this year. We can collectively agree that this has not been an easy year so far, and it makes writing something positive for The View very challenging. I want to stay positive, but our world is full of hatred, negativity, racial tension, and all kinds of things designed to separate us rather than unite us.

Please know that each one of you is important to us. I care about our readers – who you are as people, no matter what your background is, no matter what your skin color is, no matter what your religion is. Each of you is important and a valued member of this community and I thank you for reading Forsyth Magazines. As we continue to navigate uncertainties and continue to ask questions, mutual respect, and sensitivity remain priorities. If you are a

PUBLISHER

PHOTO BY ADORNMENT PHOTO

frequent reader, you already know that our magazines focus on the positive. We are committed to celebrating all that is good in and around Forsyth County. No matter the circumstances.

I send a special thank you to our advertising partners who continue to hang in there with us and an extraspecial thank you to our cover story partner, Lyndhurst, who has been a long-standing advertising supporter of Forsyth Woman for years. What an amazing organization! It’s a privilege to have these dynamic team members representing Lyndhurst on our cover – they offer such invaluable care to the women of Forsyth County.

Supporting local business is more important than ever, and we hope you’ll read Rosey’s Review this month.

As you will see, Rosey has had a bit of a departure from her normal column.

There is important information in there about supporting small and local businesses.

We are looking forward to being back together with you for Girls’ Night ALL DAY Out! It hasn’t been the same without you and we’ve missed you!

Please be sure to join us at Midtown Cafe and Dessertery on Thursday, July 23rd. See page 25 for all the details!

We look forward to reconnecting, even if we have to greet each other with jazz hands or foot taps instead of actual hugs! So, until then, we wish you well and hope you enjoy this issue!

See you soon,

Keela

Keela Johnson | Keela@ForsythMags.com

EDITORIAL DIRECTOR

SENIOR STAFF WRITERS

Vonda Henderson

Meghan Corbett | Denise Heidel | Carolyn Peterson

Brooke Eagle | Brooke@ForsythMags.com

EDITOR

BACK OFFICE & VIRTUAL ASSISTANT

EDITOR’S ASSISTANT & EVENT SPECIALIST

The Office Nerd, Denise Heidel

Madison Hill

COVER PHOTOGRAPHER

SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

JEJ Photos

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS

Tamara Bodford

Brooke Eagle | Heather Spivey

INTERN

Alexandra Johnson

ADVERTISING

Advertising@ForsythMags.com

JEJ Photos Photo Artistry by Melinda

CONTENT EDITORS Kim Beane Meghan Corbett (Assistant)

OTHER CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jen Brown | Adele Casanova | Rebecca Cooper | June DeLugas Lisa Doss | Martie Emory | Chuck Gainor | Taryn Jerez Jean Marie Johnson | Vic Khemsara | Debbie Lanier Brittany Leak | Ava Lewandowski | Dave McConnell Mike McGilvary | Rosey | Susan Schabacker Lauren Sephton | Megan Taylor | Sara Wiles

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ForsythWoman.com 888-892-3204

FORSYTH WOMAN DISCLAIMER: Please note that the inclusion of stories and articles in Forsyth Woman magazine does not imply endorsement of products or people. The views of the authors are

presented for information and entertainment only, and may not necessarily reflect the views of Forsyth Woman. Specifically, Forsyth Woman in no way endorses any claim associated with health and/or well being with respect to any particular person. We disclaim all warranties, express or implied, including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. We will not be held responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any loss or damage that is caused or alleged to have been caused in connection with the use of, or reliance on, any content in this magazine. Forsyth Woman reserves the right to deny any advertisement or listing that does not meet Forsyth Woman standards. Submissions are welcome but unsolicited materials are not guaranteed to be returned. Forsyth Woman assumes no responsibility for information, products, services or statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. ©2005 by Forsyth Woman, Inc.

12 | ForsythWoman.com

Care for Moms by Moms.

We’re here for you because we get it.

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www.lyndhurstgyn.com 111 Hanestown Court, Suite 151 | Winston-Salem, NC 27103 | 336.765.9350 We are in the Novant & Wake Forest Baptist Health Networks.

July 2020 | 13

Trellis Supportive Care

Simply Sterling & Co

14 | ForsythWoman.com

Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics

July 2020 | 15

Here for all of your eye care needs.

Vic Khemsara, MD

Laser Cataract Surgery • Dry Eye Center Glaucoma Treatment • Diabetic Treatment Multifocal Lens Implants • General Eye Exams

Summit Eye Care

SUMMIT EYE CARE SERVICES

BY VIC KHEMSARA, MD

Keith Biggs, OD

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

– 1 Chronicles 16:34

16 | ForsythWoman.com

WHEN we experience a change in vision, we seek an eye care provider’s service.

Oftentimes, the examinations indicate a need for eyeglasses to correct near or distance vision. As we become a little older (mid to late 40s), our reading capability can be troublesome, requiring reading glasses.

These are the reasons for some of the most common visits to an eye care provider.

However, there are so many more reasons to seek eye care from a qualified provider.

Cataracts – Cataract surgery can now be performed utilizing Femtosecond laser, which makes the process more accurate and precise. The TriFocal lens implants now give patients the opportunity to be glasses-free.

Clear Lens Replacement – Options now include having Clear Lens Replacement surgery, which is performed like cataract surgery but sooner. This can be a choice over LASIK, which would also eliminate the need for cataract surgery in the future.

Diabetic patients need monitoring to assist in preventing loss of vision altogether.

Oftentimes, a laser or an injection is utilized to “seal” blood vessels that are leaking in the back of the eye, which can cause a loss of vision.

Glaucoma treatments have come a long way. A laser procedure called Selective Laser Trabeculoplasty can help to lower pressures to prevent vision loss, and possibly prevent the need for an additional medical eye drop.

Floaters – In the past, a “floater” which can appear as a string or black spot floating around in a person’s vision was to be tolerated. A Laser Floater Therapy (LFT) is now available to “evaporate” those irritating, vision decreasing anomalies.

Crusty Eyelids – Baby shampoo and a washcloth were recommended in the past for scrubbing the eyelids. This worked to some degree; however, a 10-minute process called Bleph-Ex can be performed in the office to rid the eyelids of the bacteria, which forms the crusty lids. The eyelid surface can be cleaned and kept bacteria-free with the use of recommended products.

Dry Eyes are a constant, growing problem with all generations. We are addicted to the electronic devices such as our phones, iPads, Kindles, television, etc. Our blinking ability is affected, causing damage to the glands that produce oils to lubricate the cornea. Treatments for dry eye, including LipiFlow (helps unclog the glands to allow the oils to flow more freely), improved eye lubricants, and gland probing, are now available.

www.summiteyecare.net www.facebook.com/SummitEyeCare 336.765.0960 • 3073 Trenwest Drive Winston-Salem, NC 27103

Novant Health

Rosacea – Patients with rosacea, redness around cheeks, forehead, and chin, typically have ocular rosacea as well.

There are several treatments available, including a therapy called Intense Pulsed Light, which is utilized to reduce and eliminate the redness.

These are only a few of the ailments which affect our vision and our lifestyle. Summit Eye Care is very thankful for the opportunity to be able to once again provide eye care for all people that require it, and for any of the ocular problems listed, as well as many more.

For a period of time, we, like most all other general and specialty medical practices, were providing care for emergent or needed medical follow-up care. With added safety measures, patients are now being seen for all medical needs. Our office is practicing safe distancing and wearing of masks. The process of cleaning after each patient and staff handwashing will continue, as this was our practice before the pandemic.

COVID-19 has been and still remains a terrible situation throughout our country, as well as internationally. As with all trials and tribulations, it has been a learning experience.

It has reminded us to be humbler, to embrace our loved ones a little tighter, and to appreciate each moment of life as we now know it.

Summit Eye Care is available to assist patients in our Winston-Salem office and also at Summit Eye Care of Mocksville.

SEC-WS 336-765-0960 SEC-Mocksville 336-751-5734

July 2020 | 17

Keeping It Real FROM HOPELESSNESS TO HOPE

BY DR. DEBBIE LANIER

I can easily pinpoint memories where hope straight-up disappeared, can you?

Can you recall any inconsolable seasons in your living, when you stood at a precipice with every path burned behind you and no landing whatsoever before you? If you’re drawing a blank, well . . . bless your heart. Turn the page while the rest of us have a moment.

Hopelessness is debilitating. We can live without a lot, but we can’t live a day without at least a smidgen of hope persevering inside us.

Let’s look at the prophet Jeremiah’s journey. Friend, his feelings of despondency sank to a whole other depth of despair. He spent his adult life, forty years, being the most hated man in his country. Everyone wanted him dead! Why? Because he persistently prophesied God’s Word to a stiffnecked people. It was nothing they wanted to hear.

God extended every opportunity to choose differently. The people of Judah, though, kept barreling towards the cliff. When their worst nightmare—meaning, Jeremiah’s every prophecy—came true, hopelessness choked their ability to imagine a future for themselves or their generations.

Jeremiah watched people starve and die in the streets as the enemy besieged the city. He wept as hopelessness crushed him without reprieve. His beloved city and people lay in ruins, seemingly beyond any possibility of repair.

The weeping prophet bemoaned, “I have cried until the tears no longer come; my heart is broken. Everything I had hoped for from the LORD is lost!” (Lamentations 3:11; 18) Wow! Have you ever suffered the kind of despair that makes you wish you were dead?

Jeremiah did. He lamented at one point, “I wish I had never been born.” (Jeremiah

18 | ForsythWoman.com

15:10) Now that’s hopelessness. There’s no foreseeable way forward, NONE! But in that moment of deepest, paralyzing anguish, Jeremiah did what each of us must do when despair lands that heavily upon us. He took control of his mind! He CHOSE to turn away from what he felt and toward what God said. This despondent man reminded himself, “Because of the LORD’S faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. In fact, God’s mercies are brand-spanking-new every morning.”

This depressed soul kept encouraging himself in the LORD so emphatically, right in his despair, that he eventually declared of the LORD, “GREAT IS YOUR FAITHFULNESS!” (Lamentations 3:23) Get it? Despite pervasive hopelessness, Jeremiah determined to grip the rope of hope, which is God’s Word, and pull himself out of that pit of despair. He renewed his mind with the Truth he knew, even though he felt no hope in that moment. Jeremiah’s worship session ultimately inspired the famous hymn, “Great Is Thy Faithfulness,” sung all over the world. (Talk about cool!) That weeping, weary soul worshiped until he convinced his mind of the Truth. “The Lord is my portion, therefore I will put my HOPE in HIM!” (3:24) Like Jeremiah, I know God’s mercies are real. God lavishes His kindness and compassion upon us (you and me, personally!). But here’s the catch: they are mine only when I appropriate them into my life. They’re only potential until I personally retrieve them for myself.

This HOPE God gives is never passive.

You and I must pull it to our bosom and own it. We must change our channel and think on what God says, not what we see.

I don’t know the name of that cliff underneath your toes. But I do know the name of your Hope! His Name is Jesus.

His mercies extended to you never run dry. His faithfulness never gives way.

Pull it close and rest in it today! There’s more than enough with your name on it, I promise!

For comments or prayer, contact Dr. Lanier at PastorDebbie@HopeCommunityChurch.tv.

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ROSHNI RANJITREEVES, MD “DR ROSH”

DIANNA L. SELDOMRIDGE, MD

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Oculofacial Specialist Facial Rejuvenation Aesthetic and Reconstructive Surgery

Comprehensive Ophthalmologist Dry Eye Treatment

Cornea Specialist Cataract Management

WILLIAM B. RAFFERTY, OD Optometrist Dry Eye Treatment

CAROL J. ZIEL, MD Glaucoma Specialist Cataract Management Medical Director

July 2020 | 19

The Psychology of Shopping Part 1

BY ADELE CASANOVA

Shop, shop, shop. Shop till you drop! We all love to shop! Whew, shopping is a huge part of our lives in this consumer-driven economy. But how do we shop and how do retailers approach and influence us as consumers? The study of the psychology of shopping is ongoing and ever-changing in our fast-paced world. But we can educate ourselves to retailers’ influencing techniques.

First, retailers understand basic concepts that influence buying decisions, concepts that are important to all consumers at some level. Things like price and ability to pay, guarantees and return policies, ease of the shopping experience, sales and offers, and brand recognition/consumer reviews. Retailers use product placement, free gifts, discounts for buying more that one of an item, and “loss leaders” (popular items priced very low to lure consumers into the store, hoping they will purchase more items while there).

Although we like to think of ourselves as smart, careful shoppers who use research and logic when making buying decisions, the truth is most purchases are driven by emotion, and emotions are greatly affected by our senses: sight, smell, hearing, and touch. Retailers and brand recognition experts know this and here are some ways in which they use this knowledge to influence us.

COLOR

The majority of information we remember is visually attained and emotionally influenced by color. Yellows, reds, and oranges make us feel a sense of urgency and high level of energy.

Think of all the red you see associated with Target and McDonalds. Often signage for sales and limited availability items will be printed in orange and red on a white background.

This is to give the shopper a sense of urgency to buy. Blues and greens give us a sense of trust, calmness, and security. Many leading banks use green or blue in their logos to establish a sense of security, stability, and trust. Think Chase, Bank of America and Citi.

Pinks and purples connote romance, femininity, and calmness. These colors are often used in promoting lingerie or anti-aging cosmetics. Top brand examples are Victoria’s Secret (pink) and Botox (purple). Black is associated with luxury and power. Luxury car brands Alpha Romeo and BMW have black logos combined with blue or green to add security and trust.

Mercedes Benz, once the epitome of luxury in cars, uses only black in their logo.

SMELL

Particular smells conjure up specific emotions. Believe it or not, large retailers strategically pump smells into different departments to influence shoppers. The smell of baby powder in the infant section, or lavender in the lingerie department. Think about when you enter a coffee shop or bakery how the overwhelming scent of the food products heightens your sense of anticipation.

SOUNDS

Retailers use music to affect certain emotional responses in consumers. Slow, relaxing music causes shoppers to slow down and linger, giving them more time to buy extra items or to impulse buy. Soothing music is often used in intimate sales environments where one on one salespeople need opportunity to engage the consumer and build trust. Classical music can influence consumers to buy the more expensive options in a store, such as wine or luxury garments. Popular rock or pop music that most people identify with can create a friendly, familiar environment that induces happiness and a sense of inclusion.

TOUCH

Retailers want the consumer to feel a sense of ownership of a product even before purchasing. Touch is a powerful way to create that sense of ownership. Encouraging you to try on garments, pick them up from a display to examine and feel them, or even taking a sample of a food product. We, as consumers, begin to feel attached to a product when touching, handling, or tasting it. In the example of an offered free taste of a food product, some consumers unconsciously develop a sense of obligation to return the favor by making a purchase.

This information is just the beginning of understanding the psychology of shopping but can open our eyes to the power of influences being used to shape our shopping habits.

Here are a few tips to maintain smart shopping habits. Don’t’ shop when feeling strong emotions such as anger, fear, or unhappiness. Skip sales or ignore sale items that you don’t really need but are tempted to purchase because “It’s too good a deal to pass up.” Shop with a list. Buy quality over quantity. Avoid making shopping a social event with friends and family with no time limit or specific purpose. Shopping is necessary and can be fun, but purchasing items carefully can mean less regret, better budgeting, and responsible consumerism.

20 | ForsythWoman.com

Budget Blinds

July 2020 | 21

How to Set Boundaries for Yourself

BY MEGAN TAYLOR

For some people, saying “no” can be hard and uncomfortable. Some people automatically say “yes” when asked to do something, take on a responsibility or obligation, or add more to their schedule. Oftentimes a person believes they must accept everything they are asked to do, because they feel they can do it all. However, this mentality can add stress and can cause the person to suffer physically, emotionally, and mentally. It can be hard to do, but there are ways a person can set boundaries for themselves. Boundaries in work, relationships, and life in general are necessary for a person’s health and happiness. Here’s how to set boundaries without feeling guilty for saying “no.”

3. Give yourself grace. This is a lesson you could use in all

1. Know your limits & top priorities. Make a list of what

4. Become self-aware of your thoughts & emotions.

is already on your plate and prioritize things that are the most important to you. For example, family, leisure time, a hobby, etc. could be on your list. Also, understand your limits, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Listen to your mind and body. If you are having trouble staying awake, concentrating, etc., know it may be time to wrap up for a bit until you are refreshed to continue on. Think about your body as your cell phone. Your phone doesn’t work when its battery is dead, so why do you expect your body to do the same when you are stressed and low on sleep? Self-care is very important.

2. Be clear about your boundaries & stick with them.

This doesn’t mean you have to be offensive or disrespectful towards others when stating your limits. It does mean for you to stay strong and not give in to other people’s requests. You are the person who knows what is best for you, so why not say it? Create an open dialogue and communication with your family, friends, colleagues, etc., when asked to add something to your schedule or change something.

22 | ForsythWoman.com

aspects of your life. Give yourself permission to feel fear, failure, guilt, and self-doubt, and understand that you may receive some of these feelings back from other people. Dr. Dana Gionta states in an article for PsychCentral that, “We might fear the other person’s response if we set and enforce our boundaries. We might feel guilty by speaking up or saying no to a family member. Many believe they should be able to cope with a situation or say yes because they’re a good daughter or son, even though they feel drained or taken advantage of…Boundaries are a sign of self-respect.”

Think about how you are feeling when you are overworked and stressed and compare it to how you feel when you are relaxed.

Take inventory of those emotions. Also, take notice of what happens to those you most care about when you take on too much.

When you find yourself in saying “yes” situations, reflect on your thoughts and emotions. You may find yourself becoming irritable and short-tempered with the ones you care about the most.

Change what you need to change to get on a better track.

5. Seek support. This can be a hard habit to break and can be

difficult at first. Develop a support group for yourself. Your support could be a support group, counseling, family, or friends. With your group, make it a priority to set boundaries together and hold each other accountable for them.

Start small when you set boundaries for yourself. This can be an overwhelming task to break. However, in the end, you’ll be glad that you did. Saying “yes” can be positive at times, just be careful to not overdo it.

Salemtowne Retirement

July 2020 | 23

D E L E CANC AK BROWN

BY JEN OLENICZ

Everything is different and canceled.

I remember at the beginning of COVID, I was walking our dogs and told my husband: I think everything is going to change.

This was mid-March and my husband called me alarmist and said that it was my anxiety talking (as someone with diagnosed anxiety, this is not an insult). I didn’t argue, but I knew there was something larger happening that we wouldn’t just snap back from.

A few days ago – months from the initiation of the Stay at Home order – my husband said, “Hey. You’re right; everything is different.” We’ve since added a joke that all calendars need a new status of “canceled due to COVID,” as my normal busy schedule of travel, trips, conferences, events, and meetings has screeched to a halt.

I know you’re feeling this too! It seems like everything in life is getting canceled, changed, moved to another form – and the things that aren’t adjusted feel incredibly out of place. What do you do when you feel like your entire life is being canceled?

TAKE STOCK OF WHAT YOU HAVE

This one might seem hard at first! Take a breath and look at what you still have. It’s difficult when you’re feeling low, but here’s a handy trick I use when I’m thinking about anything that might be critical or constructive: I make sure I have a one to one ratio of one negative to one positive. Yes, you might have had something you were very excited about canceled. And, what’s a good thing that is still on the calendar? Stay true to this ratio, or you might find yourself with all of the negatives and none of the positives.

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LOOK FOR THE PIVOT

Thankfully, we have an incredible amount of technology, mostly at our fingertips. As much as we can say, “Wow, too much Zoom is terrible” I can safely say I am grateful beyond belief that we have the technology to stay in touch, and have moved many of my events to digital media. Yes, it’s not the same. And it’s something! Pro tip: don’t overdo it on Zoom or any digital platform. Any medium is going to be exhausting after too much – video, especially! Take breaks, turn the camera off, and go outside.

ALLOW FOR TIME

This is an awful situation. Full stop. It’s ok to grieve things that you were looking forward to, and fine to feel upset about them. Give yourself time to do that. If you want to be angry, sad, upset, or whatever about something getting canceled – let yourself feel your feelings and then move along to the next emotion. Problems come up when you keep hiding the emotion or try to “check it” at the door of your life – if you’re not feeling them and experiencing them, you’re not going to be able to get past them. Schedule some time to grieve.

MAKE NEW PLANS

Everything IS different right now! We’re still in an uncertain time, and will be for a while, because things have been changing on what feels like a daily basis. That doesn’t mean you can’t make new plans! Think about our new situation and the one that exists today, whenever today is: what can you schedule? What can you plan for? Make that new plan and get excited about that new adventure. And get creative! I’ve seen such fun events I could never imagine on a digital scale, or a distanced medium.

Outdoor events seem more apt for this current stage, so lean into the beautiful summer shade and plan something that you are genuinely excited about.

Join us for

GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT All DAY

Midtown Cafe & Dessertery Thursday, July 23rd | 8am - 8pm 151 S. Stratford Road | Winston-S alem, NC 27104 | 336.724.9800 | MidtownC afeWS.com Come enjoy our first all-day GNO event. Take advantage of amazing specials throughtout the day and meet up with some friends you haven’t seen in a while, over a great breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks, or dessert. Whenever you come the time is right.

Specials Include

Breakfast Features

Dinner Features

1/2 Price Wine $3 Midtown Famous Sangrias $15 Sangria Pitchers $4 Mimosa $17 Mimosa Pitchers

(Available All Day)

Shrimp & Grits $10 French Toast Combo $10 Small Yogurt & Granola $6 Spinach & Feta Omelette $8

$4 Dollar Shareables

Lunch Features

Butternut Squash Lasagna with side salad $12 Buttermilk Fried Chicken, Mac & Cheese, Green Beans $12 Steak & Shrimp $16 Mahi Tacos $12

(Starting at 12pm)

Pimento Cheese Bites Asiago Drop Biscuits House Made Kettle Chip Basket

(Available Starting at 12pm)

(Available All Day)

$4 Desserts

Include Side Item Midtown Famous Tarragon Chicken Salad Sandwich or Wrap $8 Thai Crunch Turkey Wrap $8 Shrimp Tacos $10 Berry Feta Salad $8 Add Chicken + $2 Chopped Chef Salad $8

Five Flavor Pound Cake Bourbon Berry Bread Pudding Key Lime Pie Chocolate Chocolate Cake

July 2020 | 25

BY LISA S.T DOSS

The cultural knowledge of herbs is not entirely lost. Tea drinkers seek warmth through sips to find a remedy for the onset of an ailment or to relax. Once upon a time, herbal lore was instinctual, just like the hand wanders into a cupboard to find oregano written on a glass bottle. The basic knowledge of medicinal plants may still be in our genes, urging to take root and blossom.

You, too, can appreciate the versatile quality of herbs by first loving plants, their colors or fragrances. Take it one step further! The gardener within you can make teas, salves, tinctures and poultices to promote good health!

Did you know that every herb affects each one of us differently? Begin by taking a sniff of the plant or essential oil, waiting a few seconds, then assess how you feel.

As a sufferer of anxiety or depression, the fragrance may result in a boost of energy.

Have a niggling fear? One deep inhalation of breath could transform your confidence levels! It’s no wonder the lavender scent is well-associated with bedtime. The rich, blue flowers have a diversified secret that allows the mind, body and spirit to rejuvenate and repair!

FROM FLOWER TO HARVEST Similar to the basil, oregano and parsley plants in your kitchen window, consider adding lavender. One leaf applied to the skin can relieve the itchy sensation derived from a bug bite or heal a minor burn.

Once the woody plant expands within its container, choose a sunny location to plant in well-drained soil near the house.

(Lavender thrives in dry conditions.)

Another superpower is repelling moths, flies, fleas and mosquitoes.

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A FLORAL TEA

As a fragrant mint, steeping the flowers in hot water has multiple purposes: • With adding one teaspoon of lavender to one cup of boiling water, you can, after 10 minutes, ease a feeling of anxiety.

• Add one teaspoon of peppermint to the cup, and you’ll have a cure for a headache or stomachache.

• For those who enjoy milk in tea, add a sprinkle of cinnamon and, perhaps, a teaspoon of raw honey.

This combination promotes tranquility, especially for those who have insomnia.

LAVENDER OIL FOR BATHS & MOISTURIZERS

The process of extracting oils from plants involves capturing steam from the flower buds and condensing it into liquid form. As in most tinctures, they are alcohol-based.

Next Month: Bergamot

Procedure: Use oil as a treatment to eliminate dry hair, in bathwater or as a skin moisturizer.

1. If using heat, simmer 1 ½ cups olive oil with 2 cups lavender flowers or buds until it bubbles at the edges of a pot. (Another option is to place the lavender infusion in the oven at 185 degrees.) Stir periodically.

2. Cool to room temperature, and strain twice or use cheesecloth.

3. Pierce seven vitamin-E capsules, and squeeze the oil into the pot. Stir.

4. Transfer to a sterilized, airtight Mason jar.

5. Refrigerate for six weeks. (Freeze a portion which will remain fragrant up to six months after thawing.)

WARMING PILLOWS

As aches and pains regularly affect the eyes, shoulders, lower back or legs, one cure is to have a homemade lavender pillow. Due to a desire for softness, use flannel fabric. Whether small in shape for an eye pillow or rectangular to rest under both legs and span the shoulders, choose an adequate size to accommodate multiple needs. Add rice to your lavender pillow, if you seek a warming, soothing remedy.

THE BEAUTY OF LAVENDER

Rather than hang bundles of lavender, use a pitcher to display the fragrant blooms on the front or back porch, kitchen table or bathroom counter. Guests may breathe deeply and discover the influence truly impacts the spirit! Once thoroughly dried, use the stems in wreaths or floral arrangements to continue enjoying the fresh scent!

Massage Envy

July 2020 | 27

Old Glory

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

Who will make our nation’s flag? throughout history, we acknowledge one name of this tremendous endeavor – Betsy Ross. Colonel George Ross, Betsy’s uncle and representative of Pennsylvania, was quite possibly the man who suggested her name. Other accounts claim General George Washington visited Betsy and requested a flag based on a sketch featuring 13 six-pointed stars and 13 alternate red and white stripes. As an experienced flag maker with the Navy and an eye for design, the seamstress perhaps made a recommendation to arrange the stars, representing the number of colonies, in a circle, and reduce the stars to five points. One year later, Congress officially adopted the national flag in June of 1777. One hundred years later, documents surfaced from the family to persuade believers of one woman’s role.

OLD GLORY

In 1824, Massachusetts sea captain, William Driver, received what would become a prized possession, a hand-sewn, 24-starred American flag from his mother’s quilting circle.

Flying her colors on the mast for the first time, the captain claimed at first sight, “Old Glory.” Driver wrote in a logbook during a voyage, “It has ever been my staunch companion and protection. Savages and heathens, and the lowly and oppressed, hailed and welcomed it at the far end of the wide world; then, why should it not be called Old Glory?”

After relocating to a residence in Tennessee, Driver hung his 17X10-foot Old Glory, whether rain or shine. From local Confederates to a raid ordered by the Governor, Driver decided to seek help from loyal women in his neighboring household to create a coverlet. Old Glory remained hidden between a layer of quilted materials until a loosened seam revealed a great secret.

The flag transferred hands three times from Driver’s daughter to President Harding, and finally, donated to the Smithsonian Institution, the National Museum of American History.

SUNRISE TO SUNSET

In honor of our nation’s symbol, a Flag Code offers instructions to show proper respect towards a flag. At the hour of sunrise, the blue field should rise briskly to the peak of the staff. And, precisely at sunset, lowered slowly into waiting hands and arms, without touching the ground. Flags, illuminated by a light, can fly throughout the night.

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Additional Rules: • Should the material become dirty or cut, it is appropriate to clean and mend.

• On inclement days, the flag should remain at rest.

• The flag should never be sewn or embroidered to a piece of advertising that is discarded after temporary use, or connected to any mark, insignia, letter, word, drawing or figure.

• Only military personnel, firemen, police officers and members of a patriotic organization can wear a flag patch.

• Only the President of the United States or a state’s Governor can order the flag to fly at half-staff. In honor of the nation’s battle heroes, the flag flies at halfstaff on Memorial Day until noon and is then risen to full-staff until sunset.

FOLDING INSTRUCTIONS

Two individuals are required to hold the flag at waist height to ensure its surface is parallel to the ground.

• Begin by folding the lower half of the stripe section lengthwise over the field of stars. Make sure to hold the bottom and top edges securely.

• Fold lengthwise again. The blue field remains.

• For ease, take a step when folding the edge to meet the open, right-side of the flag to form a triangle.

• Turn the outer point inward, aligning edges, to form a second triangle.

• Continue folding until the triangle reveals only the blue field of stars.

• Tuck any remaining hem inside the folds of the flag.

BURNING CEREMONY

Cremation, throughout history, is a dignified means to pay respect to a worthy object. In the retirement of a flag, the final tribute is a burning ceremony. While U.S. Flag Code does not authorize a specific individual or organization with the duty to retire flags, most American Legion Posts, Cub Scouts, Boy and Girl Scout Troops will consider it a privilege to offer the service to anyone in need.

Patriotic Americans throughout history cried at the sight of the American flag after long voyages, deployments and trips. It resonates a feeling of home, blessing and freedom! As we celebrate the day of our country’s independence, let us remember those who fought for the words it represents and the bravery it demands to continue waving for the cause of freedom!

Homestead Hills

July 2020 | 29

Is Downsizing on the Roadmap for You? We are receiving more and more calls from clients desiring to downsize or move. Clients of all generations, including both Gen X and Millennials, are on the move.

They are asking for help with the entire process. June DeLugas Interiors, Inc. is the place for them. We have the staff and knowledge to help with this process.

We can strategize to transition clients into their new, albeit smaller, living quarters or sometimes to another state, or we make the desired changes to age in place.

It could be to find space to add an elevator or create a plan to make the living quarters more attractive. In today’s environment, multi-generational households are becoming more common. Millennial children live under the same roof, sometimes into their early 30s. That might require a different set of plans for the house.

Some of our clients are moving to areas such as retirement beach communities. They do not necessarily desire the beach look, yet may want their home to feel modern or traditional. If they are moving, we help them decide what to take and where to put the furnishings as we create a theme for their new home, sometimes traveling to new locations as necessary.

Another factor to consider is the size of their new living quarters. Most people downsize to half of the space they are currently living in, which means more than a 50% reduction in possessions. These days, many children do not have an interest in their parents’ “treasures,” as they have already started accumulating their own version of collectibles. Some of our clients tell us the reason they are downsizing is they want a home here and another home at the beach, as well. It is also trending to purchase second homes, maybe at the beach, therefore downsizing the current home to have two.

June DeLugas Interiors

Are you looking to downsize from your current home? Make the call today and let June DeLugas Interiors, Inc. ease God bless, your transition. We love what we do: helping customers.

PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY OF JAY SINCLAIR

It all begins with, “What do we do with all of this stuff?”

These choices can be a real concern for our clients.

It is an imposing task that will require many hours of sorting and decision-making, lots of help from family and friends, as well as some serious emotional stress. Making a checklist of what they need to keep, then narrowing that list down to what they want to keep, can help ease the stress. We are not talking about the major pieces of furniture like the sofa and bedroom pieces, but all the accumulated holdings, mementos, toys for grandkids, and other items forgotten in the attic, but once thought too precious to dispose of. Do not forget the deck furniture, which translates into a few comfortable chairs versus the current spread of a sofa, a table with eight chairs, and several additional club chairs. We all love to hoard.

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How to Make the Perfect Picnic Date

BY LAUREN SEPHTON

From the whistling birds to soaking up the warmth of the sun, enjoy this simple guide to unplug and pack the perfect picnic to spark up that romantic time with your special someone.

TIPS FOR PLANNING

A handy tip in planning your picnic meal is to think of it as planning a normal dinner for two. Then, substitute the main dish with a savory and satisfying appetizer. The remaining side dishes and desserts need only a bit of tailoring to become more simplified and easier for snacking.

Another sweet tip is to consider your fondest classic picnics as a child, then complement their simplicity by featuring higher quality ingredients that may usually be reserved for special occasions. For instance, replace those sweet apples with a more romantic fruit option like fresh cherries and figs. For the main appetizer, consider packing a crusty French baguette to make crostini with prosciutto, extra virgin olive oil, and Manchego cheese instead of a classic

turkey sandwich. Similarly, you can shape the entire picnic around a charcuterie board that highlights a variety of cured meats, cheeses, fancy dark chocolate, olives, honey, and a fresh, herby salad.

To keep the stress of planning at bay, consider making one of these scrumptious recipes to maximize your downtime from being in the kitchen to getting outside to enjoy nature.

VIBRANT GREEN PEA PESTO PASTA

CITRUS FENNEL & GRAPEFRUIT SALAD

PEACH, BASIL, & TURKEY SANDWICHES

Ingredients: 3/4 c. Fresh Basil, packed 1/4 c. Fresh Italian Parsley, packed 1 Lemon, juice & zest 1/2 c. Green Peas 2 tbsp. Parmesan Cheese 2 tbsp. Walnuts, roasted 2 tbsp. Olive Oil (optional) 2 Garlic Cloves Salt & Black Pepper, to taste

Ingredients: 1/2 Fennel Bulb, thinly sliced 1 c. Spring Mix 1 c. Baby Spinach 2 tbsp. Fresh Mint, roughly chopped 2 tbsp. Grated Parmesan 1/2 Grapefruit, peeled & segmented 1/2 Avocado, peeled & cut into bite-sized pieces

Ingredients: 4 slices of Multigrain Bread, toasted 5 ounces Turkey Breast, thinly sliced 2 ounces Manchego Cheese, thinly sliced 1 Peach, slightly firm, pitted and thinly sliced 1 tbsp. Dijon or Honey Mustard handful of Green Lettuce Leaves small handful of Basil Leaves (optional) 1 Shallot, thinly sliced Salt & Black Pepper, to taste

Servings: 2

Instructions: 1. In a food processor, add the basil, parsley, lemon juice and zest, green peas, Parmesan cheese, walnuts, and garlic cloves. (Tip: If using frozen peas, run under hot water to thaw, then firmly press out any excess water.) Pulse 2-3 times to combine, then gradually pour in the olive oil while blending on a low speed.

2. Once the pesto is creamy, toss together with 5 ounces of cooked and drained pasta. For added flavor, toss with chopped sundried tomatoes and baby arugula before packing in separate containers.

Servings: 2

Dressing: 1/4 c. Grapefruit Juice, freshly squeezed 2 tbsp. Olive Oil 2 tbsp. Apple Cider Vinegar or White Balsamic Vinegar 1 tsp. Brown Mustard Salt & Black Pepper, to taste Instructions: 1. In a small bowl, whisk together all dressing ingredients. Pack in an air-tight container to drizzle on salads at the picnic.

2. In a large bowl, toss together all salad ingredients, then separate into two containers. (Tip: For best results, prepare the salad itself maximum 30 min. prior to eating.)

Servings: 2

Instructions: 1. Spread the mustard on two slices of bread, then divide the turkey, cheese, lettuce, peach slices, basil, and shallot among the bread slices. Place the remaining slices of bread on top, cut each sandwich in half, then wrap individually in parchment paper.

OTHER EASY-TO-PACK MEAL IDEAS

Ricotta, Roasted Cherries, and Thyme Crostini • Prosciutto & Fig Panini • Chickpea Avocado Salad Sandwiches (try adding lemon zest and fresh dill) Red Wine Dark Chocolate Truffles • White Chocolate & Dark Chocolate Love Bark topped with Dried Rose Petals • Sugar Cookies with Grapefruit Glaze Whether it be in your backyard or your favorite park, grab a cozy blanket, your deliciously prepared meal, and your best friend for a relaxing break under a shady tree.

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Hip Chics Boutique

July 2020 | 33

Defining Commitment

BY ADELE CASANOVA

What does it really mean to make a commitment? A commitment is a promise, a dedication, an obligation.

Commitment is a key component to success. Commitment is a powerful tool in shaping a person’s behavior and character.

But how does one successfully commit to a goal, whether it is maintaining a happy marriage, building a business partnership, or committing oneself to a healthy lifestyle or an educational achievement? Here are some tools for successful commitment.

Passion – A true passion for an outcome is crucial for a successful commitment. One must be truly dedicated to a commitment, even knowing there will most certainly be obstacles along the way to distract. There must be a strong desire for the success of the outcome, regardless of the hard work, distractions, or sacrifices along the way.

Wisdom – Committing to an outcome needs to be done carefully, with introspection. Asking oneself, and answering truthfully, whether the commitment is a fit within her lifestyle and capabilities to maintain. Overcommitting, or committing without consideration to the means to reach success will not lead to long term commitment.

Adaptability – Adjusting to bumps in the road, missteps, or doubts along the way. Ability to correct course and make better decisions is crucial to maintaining a commitment. Recognizing and taking actions to solve problematic issues helps keep one’s eyes on the goal.

Vision – Being able to see the end goal, the big picture, so to speak. Being able to envision the desired outcome of a long-term commitment and keeping the vision in mind throughout the journey.

Perseverance – Being able to stay the course even when one finds herself entertaining quitting, or allowing distractions to sabotage success. Everyone experiences doubt about completing goals. That is natural, but overcoming them and remaining true to the outcome of a commitment takes tenacity.

Integrity – According to the Oxford Languages Dictionary, integrity means having the “quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.” To successfully maintain a commitment, one needs to be steadfastly honest with herself as well as with others within the commitment.

Even with all of the above characteristics fully in place, there will be times when one must make a critical decision whether to continue a commitment that is causing damage or loss to any participants involved. It is acceptable, and even necessary to reevaluate a commitment that is not producing positive results. A careful comparison of the positives and negatives of the process can be made to determine if and when a commitment needs to be abandoned. Passion, vision, adaptability, perseverance, and integrity sometimes may not be enough against outside influences to continue a commitment when it may lead to irreparable damage.

That being said, if the journey of a commitment, though at times difficult, strengthens character and builds integrity, it can be an enriching experience. And when success is achieved, the joy and satisfaction of reaching the vision are truly rewarding.

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July 2020 | 35

Interviewing Remotely: The New Frontier

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

You did it! You have a job interview.

With all of these shifts and uneasy moments the past few months, this is a big deal. You should be extremely excited!

And get ready to prepare.

Interviewing remotely and online is different enough from interviewing in person, and 86% of companies hiring right now are doing so on a virtual platform. If you’ve got an interview in the near or hopeful future, there are things you can start working on now.

SET UP YOUR SHOT

Turn on your computer camera and make sure you have great framing.

We get over half of our meaning from body language. If the interviewer can’t see you, or can’t connect with you, then you’re going to have a hard time communicating with them.

Make sure there is a light source in front of you and not behind you. If the light is behind you, then you’re going to “blow out” your image.

If you’ve never experienced this idea of “blow out” with light, try this: grab your computer and turn on your camera. Stand at a window and put the window in front of you. Now turn around and have the window behind you. See the difference?

Other things you can set up quickly and before the meat of the interview: make sure there is enough space between the top of your head and the top of your camera shot, and know where the camera is.

You want this to be at eye level. If you need to raise your computer or camera, keep it simple: a sturdy stack of books or a box works well.

QUESTIONS AND POINTS

Make a list of typical interview questions and take some time to write out notes. You’ll also need to practice and spend time saying these things out loud, but spending time brainstorming answers for typical questions like, “Tell me about yourself” and “What are your strengths and areas of growth?” Remember, you want to make sure these answers are specifically for the job you’re interviewing for.

If you don’t have an interview soon, don’t worry! You can still practice general answers to these questions, and more importantly, practice answering questions from points.

TAKE NOTES

One of the best parts about a remote interview, in my opinion, is the ability to take notes and take them with you. When you’re practicing, if you keep forgetting something, or if you’re tripping on the same words every time, write down the point you want to make. Are you tripping up because it’s too complicated, or because you have to practice more?

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This leads directly to the next point, but before we get there – take the opportunity to write down a few notes that you can use to practice and use at the moment.

PRACTICE HOW YOU PLAY

This is one of the things that I could see written on my tombstone: practice how you play. The meaning is simple – however you rehearse is how you’re going to perform. If you practice for your interview in your head and quietly to yourself, you’re going to get in the moment and be quiet and in your head.

When you practice for your online interview, do it as close to reallife as possible: either ask a friend to help you prepare or just turn on your camera and practice talking to it as if someone is asking you questions on the other side. The more effort you put into practice, the better you’ll play.

DAY OF…

Take a breath. Have water. Listen and answer the question being asked.

And know, in the moment, you can only be the best version of yourself.

Brookridge Retirement

July 2020 | 37

Self-Care in Sensitive Times

BY MARTIE EMORY

The artfully designed entrance of Restoration MedSpa always welcomes you with calm and serenity, and their resume of nurturing services is truly self-care at its finest. So, when reopening in mid-May, following the unexpected challenges of COVID-19, owner Marisa Faircloth and her staff couldn’t have been more pleased to share the ways Restoration MedSpa has enhanced their patient experience to protect each and every client!

Without a doubt, the grief that is the result of our normal daily lives seemingly evaporating has taken its toll on everyone – both physically and emotionally. Believing strongly that selfcare builds self-confidence amid any turbulent situation, Restoration MedSpa has always offered a “restorative” environment as their main mission, and that will never change.

“Now, more than ever, we are aware of how our ‘place’ makes people feel,” says Marisa.

“Yes, we have missed them, but we want them to feel completely confident, so we’re making sure when they leave our office, they feel better for having been here! We may not be able to give them the hugs we used to give them just yet, but we’re making up for it in other ways.”

With a warm thank you to their loyal client base for patience and consideration while the staff puts clients’ health first, Marisa and her staff continue their mission of “safe and secure” self-care.

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WHAT TO EXPECT

In accordance with the CDC and the North Carolina Medical Board recommendations to protect clients and staff, while preventing the spread of the coronavirus, Restoration MedSpa has adopted the following practices: • Always cleaning surfaces with surgical-grade cleansers • Wearing face masks to protect all staff and clients, and wearing gloves when touching clients • Maintaining the strictest aseptic techniques with every spa procedure • Limiting the number of clients being seen inside at one time • Conducting client consultations, virtually, when possible • Requiring clients to wear face masks in the office to protect themselves and the Restoration MedSpa staff • Questioning patients about possible exposure to anyone who has been sick, the presence of any symptoms, or if they have traveled within the previous two weeks. If you answer positively to ANY of these questions Restoration MedSpa will ask you to reschedule the appointment for a later date in an effort to protect their staff and other patients • Requiring clients to arrive at their appointments alone and on time

Karl Stonecipher, M.D., Medical Director, expands on how the staff is striking that necessary balance of service and safety. “We aren’t allowing more than three patients at a time in the office, and we’ve set up three different entrances and payment areas for each of them. We’ve also put up plexiglass at each of our check-in/out stations, and placed easy-to-read logos on the floor to encourage social distancing.”

Depending on the provider a patient is seeing, they will enter through a specific door, have their temperature taken, answer a few questions, and then be taken back to meet with the provider.

Patients will flow back through that same door to check out. “We’re also seeing many patients online for no-cost, virtual consultations,” explains Karl, thus limiting the amount of time they need to be in the office. Restoration MedSpa reopened slowly, starting with very minimally invasive treatments such as Botox, lasers, and hydra-facials, and gradually worked up to a full-service schedule. Medical grade skin care products are also available in their online store.

Remember, you can always make an appointment for an initial visit online at restorationmedspa.com, or call 336-999-8295. Visit the Winston-Salem location of Restoration MedSpa at 250 Executive Park Blvd., Suite 105, and the Greensboro location at 1002 N. Church Street, Suite 101.

JEJ Photos

July 2020 | 39

BY CHUCK GAINOR

My name is Dr. Charles J. Gainor. I am a board-certified Family Physician who has been working full time as an Emergency Medicine Physician since 2000 in multiple Emergency Departments around North Carolina.

On March 25, I intubated a 16-year old asthmatic who was the sickest child I have ever seen. The child had been seen earlier in the day at the Emergency Department in Emporia, Virginia, treated and discharged. Upon arriving home, she progressively deteriorated and EMS was called. Upon arrival at my hospital, the child was minimally responsive, in respiratory failure and impending respiratory arrest. She was stabilized and transferred to pediatric ICU at Vidant in Greenville, NC. I checked on her every day and she remained on the ventilator for 3 days. On the 3rd day she was taken off the ventilator and the endotracheal tube was removed. The child was tested for COVID-19 and it was reported as negative (which I felt was a false negative; current viral testing can have at least a 30% false negative rate).

Within 24 hours, I felt like a ton of bricks hit me. Severe body aches and headaches requiring acetaminophen and ibuprofen every 6 hours, a fever, shaking chills, severe sweats, chest pain, heart racing, shortness of breath with exertion and wheezing. Also, I would wake up at 3 a.m. several days having hallucinations that I was melting away or being consumed by insects. I stayed home in bed, taking vitamin C and D supplements as well as zinc, and drinking gallons of chicken soup spiked with honey and sriracha. According to our thermometer, I was not running a fever (likely due to acetaminophen and ibuprofen), so I was not tested for COVID due to shortages of tests and lack of fever. It wasn’t long, however, before my temperature reached 100.3. I was tested for COVID and was positive.

I was prescribed Chloroquine and Zithromax which I took, resulting in diarrhea and worsening chest pain. (I think it may have helped me, but to be honest, I do not know.) Regardless, after the last dose, I felt as if I had life again. I started exercising and walking the dog while isolating myself from my family and anyone else in society.

Fortunately, neither my wife nor kids had any symptoms. As of this writing, I have just now begun sleeping in my own bed again, and feel safe being within six feet of my family.

I am now back at work doing the night shift in the ER. On May 1, I donated 800 ml of convalescent plasma, hoping for COVID antibodies so that it could help as a last-ditch salvage treatment for critical COVID patients in the Vidant Medical System. I ultimately did test positive for antibodies, so I now give plasma every two weeks.

I will continue to donate until this crisis is over, or until a monoclonal antibody infusion is developed.

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I did everything right on March 25; at the time we had no n95 masks, I used the CDC approved surgical mask with plastic face shield, I used a video assisted Glide scope, but despite that, I still had a high volume COVID exposure when I intubated this patient. We have learned since that we should reduce exposure by putting patients in a Plexiglas box with holes for arms. In summation I felt like a soldier sent to war without weapons or body armor.

As the country begins to open, the initial curves in NY and California have flattened, but other areas are having increasing cases. I fear we will have a new surge, and am disturbed that Dr. Fauci is forecasting a resurgence of COVID in the fall and winter. We are still doing woefully inadequate testing to see who is safe to return to work, who has developed antibodies, who are the pre-symptomatic patients who will develop COVID soon but could spread COVID now, and who are the asymptomatic carriers who carry the deadly virus without signs but can infect others.

I had a mild case of COVID and am recovering, but I see our plight every day: a health care system that doesn’t have enough reserves to handle a pandemic, a lack of accurate testing, and an economy in which people are hurting and need to go back to work. Our dilemma is that the line we must walk to ensure the health of our population, without decimating the economy in the process, is so razor thin that it’s slicing right through us.

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July 2020 | 41

Finding Your Silver Lining

BY ADELE CASANOVA

Life is full of ups and downs; that is for sure. And the only real constant is change. Changes will inevitably occur in our lives, and how we react to them is key to our personal success and happiness. Positive changes are easy to embrace. It is the difficult, unexpected changes from which it is harder to recover. Events like job loss, illness, loss of a loved one – these are hurtful, tragic changes that can precipitate negative results.

The key to successfully moving on from negative events is to find the positive outcomes that are possible and embrace them fully. Something good always comes out of something bad. Here are some basic steps to finding the “silver lining.”

ACCEPT THE CHANGE

When a negative change takes place in our lives, we don’t like it, didn’t ask for it and most probably couldn’t stop it. The sense of lack of control to stop negative events from happening can be overwhelming and prevent us from accepting changes we cannot control.

The sooner we accept that a negative event has created a new reality for us to live in, the sooner we can move toward finding the positive outcomes that may be related to the change.

OWN YOUR EMOTIONS

A negative change in our lives will generate emotions we don’t relish experiencing, such as anger, grief, sadness, or fear. All of our emotional experiences are valuable. They are uniquely ours, essential parts of our emotional make up, who we are. Allowing ourselves to experience “negative” emotions, owning them as ours, feeling them fully without self-judgment clears the way to move forward. All of our emotions are valuable markers in the progression of our lives, and each emotion, positive or negative, can be evaluated in opposition to one another, giving us reference points in our experiences of them. This leads to gratitude for the positive emotions and to a natural motivation to react in a way that leads us to the “silver lining.”

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EMBRACE HOPE

English poet Alexander Pope’s line of poetry, “Hope springs eternal in the human breast,” is a beautiful way of saying that we are always hopeful regardless of circumstances. Czechoslovakian statesman, Vaclav Havel, calls hope “an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart.” Even in our darkest moments of despair and grief, we can embrace hope. When we have experienced a negative event that has left us with a changed reality, and after we have accepted the change and fully felt our emotions without selfjudgment, then we can ask ourselves, “How can I orient my new reality for a positive outcome.” For example, after a loss of employment, what better job, or more independent means of self-employment might I achieve that I would not otherwise accomplish but not for the loss of employment?” In the example of a loss of a loved one, envision how the relationships of those left behind can be strengthened and enriched going forward, having bonded emotionally in a new and powerful way by grieving together.

ENGAGE YOUR POWER

Each person is endowed with personal power to direct his or her life in a chosen direction. Knowledge of that personal power is key to embracing the positive outcomes from a tragedy. Be proactive in embracing the positive outcomes that you envision. Go back to school at night to qualify yourself for a better job. Or finally, take that risk of opening the business of your dreams.

Reach out to family members in new compassionate ways after you have lost a loved one together. Start building those strengthened relationships you might not have valued in the past.

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Winston-Salem Vein Specialists Explain How Treating Your Varicose Veins Can Help Your Marriage

BY NOVANT HEALTH VEIN SPECIALISTS To many people who have varicose veins, they seem like a very personal problem. Who else, after all, is affected by the bulging, unsightly, bluish-colored veins on your legs, your swollen legs and ankles, and by your lack of desire to go out and do things because all you can do is think, “My legs hurt”?

Your romantic partner, that’s who. Your husband or wife (men have varicose veins, too) is also affected, because naturally they care about you, and want to see you happy and healthy. If your varicose veins are causing you pain, or even if they’re just causing you emotional distress and affecting your personal and social life because you are ashamed to show your legs in public, this causes them pain, too.

What can a spider & varicose vein doctor in Winston-Salem do to help your marriage?

Varicose veins are not merely a personal issue or merely a cosmetic issue. They are indications of a deeper problem – vein disease – that can sap your strength, leave you feeling tired and listless, and drastically affect your moods because of the pain and discomfort you feel. If you feel depressed every time you look in a mirror, naturally some of that negativity is going to be felt by your partner as well.

varicose veins may also be a superficial (meaning on the surface of the skin) symptom of a far more dangerous condition called deep vein thrombosis (DVT). This condition affects the deeper, larger veins of your legs, and can cause blood clots to form in them, obstructing and crippling your overall circulatory system. Even worse, if these blood clots break loose from where they have formed and travel to the lungs or brain, they can cause a pulmonary embolism or stroke, two of the leading causes of death in America.

So what are my vein disease treatment options in Winston-Salem?

Fortunately, the treatment that can eliminate your varicose veins (and thus may eliminate a potential cause of friction in your marriage) is as close as a phone call to Novant Health Vein Specialists. Our expert doctors can assess the state of your venous health in about an hour, using painless, non-invasive technologies like Doppler ultrasound to look beneath the surface of the skin and pinpoint the exact location of diseased or damaged veins.

All of these symptoms may be devastating to your self-esteem and sense of well-being. Every time you choose long pants instead of the clothing that used to show off your legs more, your selfconfidence is eroded a little further. Your partner can feel this, and may be affected by it. Varicose veins can also affect your sex life, if the feelings of shame you feel about your legs carry over into the bedroom, and make you feel more reluctant to be seen naked.

At that point, the best vein doctors in Winston-Salem can prescribe the most effective treatment options. Some of them – like diet recommendations, exercise, and wearing compressing stockings to reduce the swelling and increase your circulation – require no inoffice treatment to provide you with relief. Other treatment options can actually eliminate the varicose veins or DVT using sclerotherapy and endovenous laser treatment, minimally invasive techniques that require no general anesthesia, no hospital stays or long recovery times, and in fact can be performed in the comfort of our WinstonSalem or Kernersville offices. You can literally walk in, have your varicose veins treated in about an hour, and walk out free from them.

Also, if you have varicose veins, your partner is concerned about your overall health, because vein disease is very much a disease, with potentially devastating consequences. Left untreated, the varicose veins can become inflamed and covered with open sores that resist treatment and make your every movement painful. Your

So give us a call at 336-276-0776 and set up an appointment for a consultation. Your varicose veins can be effectively and painlessly treated and eliminated. And if that makes you feel better about yourself, it’s bound to be good for your marriage as well. For additional information about varicose veins and the available treatment options, visit salemveins.com.

44 | ForsythWoman.com

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July 2020 | 45

Lyndhurst Gynecologic Associates Nurturing Like Never Before!

BY MARTIE EMORY, PHOTOS BY JEJ PHOTOS

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While we’ve all been facing the challenges of COVID-19 together, in ways we never imagined, everyone’s journey is different. Having served three generations of women in the Winston-Salem area since opening its doors in 1970, Lyndhurst Gynecologic Associates has taken on an even larger nurturing role during the recent pandemic, offering peace of mind to expectant mothers who faced an unexpected twist in their journey towards motherhood!

With quite a few of their own staff also recently pregnant, it has been an uplifting opportunity to strengthen the patient/ physician relationship even more, with an added bonus of expanding the Lyndhurst family!

STRESS TIMES TWO While enormously rewarding, pregnancy can be a stressful event during the best of times. Toss in a global pandemic, and all of Lyndhurst’s physicians have found themselves reminding patients (as well as their pregnant co-workers!) of the importance of mindfulness and self-care. That could mean prenatal yoga, outdoor walks, or any other form of light exercise they enjoy, meditation, and keeping in touch with friends.

“We are fortunate to live in a time where the Internet makes long-distance connecting easy,” explains Dr. Tristen Sanz. Zoom and other media platforms are excellent resources for staying in contact with friends and family, and also enrolling in exercise and prenatal classes, all of which are proven to reduce stress and assist in the labor process.

Calming fear with fact also eases the mind. As expected, the number one question from expectant mothers is this: Will my partner be allowed to come with me? Both birthing facilities in Winston-Salem allow one support partner throughout the birthing process, and any procedure updates can be found on their websites. Mothers-to-be also worry they will be separated from their baby if they test positive. “We are still learning about the effects of the virus on newborns, and both locations are poised to make informed decisions on masking, hand hygiene, and exposure,” says Dr. Sanz. “We try to keep the birth process as unique as possible, including delayed cord clamping, skin-to-skin contact, and breastfeeding.”

Several Lyndhurst staff members shared insight on their personal journey through a tricky transition. “Becoming a new mom comes with so much joy and excitement, but what about being pregnant and becoming a new mom during a pandemic, much less being pregnant and also being a health care worker?” says Addison Oswalt, RN, and one of Lyndhurst’s OB coordinators, as well as a labor and delivery nurse at Forsyth Medical Center. “I’ve had to adjust a lot of my expectations of what this pregnancy and what my delivery will look like, but I’m refusing to let these unprecedented times rob me of the joy of the life that is growing inside of me. I believe all these babies being formed and born during this season are going to be something special. As a pregnant nurse, caring for other pregnant women, I can only hope to encourage them to choose joy over fear as we all wait for our little miracles to be in our arms.”

July 2020 | 47

Having missed some traditional pre-birth moments such as a family baby shower, ultrasound technician Olivia Gills admits being pregnant during a pandemic is not something she would have ever expected to experience. “The joys of pregnancy can turn into fears of having to deliver without my support system not being there with me. I’m frightful of contracting the virus, or worse, my baby contracting the virus shortly after delivery. I am a planner, so this pandemic is taking me out of my element and forcing me to roll with the punches, knowing I have zero control over anything. I am grateful though, to currently be healthy carrying a baby who I can’t wait to meet in the months to come! I just pray things will go back to some level of normalcy soon.”

Lyndhurst employee Brooke Scott gave birth in May to a beautiful baby girl, and admits to feeling understandable frustration when realizing she would be asked to wear a mask when outside her hospital room, would be tested for COVID-19 as soon as she arrived, and would only be allowed one support person. But fast forward to those precious moments after her new daughter’s arrival, and both Brooke and her husband admit it was amazing to savor the experience just with each other (and their wonderful physician of course!).

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“There were no distractions,” says Brooke. “I was able to breastfeed immediately without worrying about visitors or feeling like I needed to cover up. My husband and I were able to focus on our new bundle of joy – just the two of us. It was truly special.”

They were blessed to be able to FaceTime with their older daughter and some anxious grandparents during the process, and although their vision had been to have everyone present, in the end, there were still happy grandparents and an excited big sister who welcomed them home. Nothing had diminished the love and joy of adding a new family member!

THE LOGISTICS Focusing on the end result of healthy, happy babies – and parents! – Lyndhurst is following all suggested guidelines for visitation and cleaning, and they currently have a staged plan to open the office for additional visitors as needed.

Even before obtaining medical-grade personal protective equipment, the staff called on several employee mothers to sew fabric masks for the staff, and partnered with Project Mask WS who generously sewed 500 masks for their pregnant patients.

Dr. Nell Johnson takes care of Brooke Scott, a Lyndhurst ultrasound technician and a patient, who is pictured with her husband and newborn.

Dr. Sanz says they also reassure expectant mothers who do contract COVID-19 with dedicated exam rooms to provide care for those exposed to the virus. Waiting room seating has been arranged to maintain social distancing of at least six feet, and the community room previously tagged for patient education has become an overflow waiting room, and every area is thoroughly disinfected.

For routine-risk pregnancies, physicians may mingle telemedicine visits from your home with regular in-office visits, something new amid the current situation that limits in-office visitors.

“We’re also proud to be community partners with Forsyth Medical Center and Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center in detecting and preventing the spread of the virus,” says Dr. Sanz, adding that patients receive real-time updates on visitation policies at both hospitals. “I always advise that a hospital birth provides a safer and healthier experience than a home birth, and both facilities have set up universal testing of pregnant patients during their admission for delivery. Even amid a pandemic,

a hospital delivery is your safest option! Another common rumor I dispel involves the mandatory separation of the mother and newborn child. This is not true, and I welcome any pregnant mother to have this discussion with her provider.”

As the next few months unfold with likely more changes, the staff will continue to welcome expectant mothers with comfort, reassurance, and the personal care they are known for!

“As a practice, we have worked diligently from early on in this pandemic to stay in touch with ever-changing local, state, and national guidelines,” says Debbie Zimmermann, PA-C. “We continually make changes in the way we work to reduce the virus spread among staff and patients.”

Please visit their website at lyndhurstgyn.com prior to your visit for the latest updates regarding office guidelines, or call the WinstonSalem office at 336-765-9350, the Kernersville office at 336-9934532, the Mount Airy office at 336-789-9076, or the King office at 336-765-9350. The Winston-Salem practice is located at 111 Hanestown Court, Suite 151.

July 2020 | 49

This column is dedicated to uplifting incredible women that might not be featured in the local news about their accomplishments.

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

NIKKI MILLER-KA

What makes you YOU?

My community makes me. I attribute a lot of that to my mother, who made sure I was exposed to every aspect of the community at a young age.

Not only did we go to museums and parks, we volunteered at food banks and homeless shelters; we ate lunch at high-end restaurants, and sometimes we scraped together change to get discounted produce at the market. She made it possible to level the playing field, so I never believed I was above or below anyone I encountered in the world. I used to ride WSTA to school and I also was a Girl Scout, took dance classes, played tennis.

What are you most proud of?

I’m most proud of creating a job for myself when I couldn’t find a traditional job in the culinary world. I am proud of continually, consistently having a thriving career that keeps the lights on and helps keep my community fed.

It’s wild to think that my entire career exists via the internet.

What keeps you going when things are tough?

I always think, “You’ve been in a worse position than this,” and it always turns out okay.

What keeps you up at night?

Food insecurity, economic insecurity, and government leadership getting into bed with corporations and lobbyists in order to line their personal coffers.

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CHELSEA TART

Photo by Jodie Brim Photography

What makes you YOU?

I am unapologetically honest, hardworking, dedicated, loyal, sarcastic, pessimistically optimistic, and at the end of the day, a very, very pure enneagram 8. My goal is to create a life well-lived, a happy life with those that I love, and, most importantly, to always take the high road.

What are you most proud of?

I am most proud of the bond that my mother, Lynn, has forged between herself, me, and my younger sister, Caroline. When we were little, Caroline and I fought ALL THE TIME - it was never-ending. Our mom would always tell us that, “One day you girls are going to love each other and want to be around each other,” and well, she was right. Just like moms usually are.

What keeps you going when things are tough?

Grit. Hustle. Determination. Fear of embarrassment. My husband, Tyler, and our fur babies (Petrie, Clarence, and Macy).

What keeps you up at night?

This is ridiculous, but here we go: pure honesty. Normally, it’s “What am I going to cook for dinner tomorrow night?” and “Do my fur babies actually love me, or do they only love me because I feed them?” and then... “Oh, maybe my husband only loves me because I feed him... wait, no, that’s just silly.” Stupid, absolutely mundane things - “Shoot, I forgot to clean the fridge out.” Or just awful anxiety that I can’t even pinpoint - mind is blank, but heart is racing and legs are twitching.

These are abridged versions of these incredible women; please find them and ask them more!

PETRA SALAZAR DE GALLEGOS

What makes you YOU?

I am the youngest child from a very large multiracial, multigenerational family, but I lived alone with my father for the larger part of my childhood. He was 59 years old when I was born and he was completely blind. He was a beloved teacher and pianist with a soulful baritone voice. You couldn’t miss him with his booming laugh and love for talking with people. He imprinted on me, big time. Being devoted to him from the earliest age made me a vigilant observer of the world as well as a descriptive writer. I was his eyes.

What are you most proud of?

I am most proud of being New Mexican. I love where I’m from. Sitting in the open desert under the stars always sets my mind right.

What keeps you going when things are tough?

For the past 25 years, writing has over and over again saved me. Journal writing has kept me grounded, tethered to the past, present, and future. It is a practice that has attuned me to the particularities of my own internal voice, making it easier for me to distinguish it from the noise around me and, therefore, easier to follow its guidance. Journaling has connected me with my intuition, as has poetry.

Poetry has helped me transform painful, traumatic experiences into moments of tender acceptance, wisdom, and epiphany.

What keeps you up at night?

The fact that there are over 2,500 solar systems in our galaxy and two trillion galaxies in the universe, and the closest Goldilocks (Earth-like) planet is four lightyears (25 trillion miles) away. That impossible distance haunts me, but it also emboldens me to live my best life and overcome challenges that are ultimately, in the scheme of things, insignificant.

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July 2020 | 51

How Hard Is It To Wear a Mask?

As I’m sitting at Sheets, filling my car with gas and doing a quick run for some ice, I see a business truck that says ‘Safety is my goal’ on it. I’ve seen this advertised on TV, and written on service vans and trucks, but I rarely see any of the people who get out these vehicles wearing a mask. All the staff members of Sheets are wearing masks, but none of the customers. So what I do see, sadly, is a lot of people who don’t care for their own health now acting with the same lack of concern for others.

Do the patrons really believe this pandemic is over just because we have partial openings of businesses, and because our state and national leaders are ignoring the best medical advice? We could do both: protect the economy and protect those who are at risk by simply wearing a mask. Or do these people believe that it’s not their part of the social contract to protect those in society who are at risk?

This is the true reason we have a medical disaster with over 100,000 deaths (mostly in elderly and minorities), millions uninsured at risk and a health system that is broken. We have people who don’t care about their own health and as a result, act out behaviors that create more disease. But now the disease is spreading

52 | ForsythWoman.com

to others because of a lack of responsible social behavior in a system that is designed to have maximum utilization, and therefore minimal capacity to expand in a pandemic. Unfortunately, we have grown numb to the lack of consideration of others and we think it’s just part of the normal behavior. But it’s not! It is the lack of consideration of many selfish, inconsiderate fools who don’t want to do the minimum social behavior of wearing a freaking mask! I wear a mask for 8 to 12 hours straight where I work; are you really complaining of having to wear a mask for a couple of hours per day? Get real!

When you’re home, take it off because you’re not affecting anyone, but if someone comes over, putting on a mask is the least you can do.

Take a look at pictures that were taken between the 1918 flu and 1920; everyone is wearing a mask! That was the only treatment in those days: prevention. Here in 2020, there is no vaccine, there is no treatment – there is only precaution and prevention. We need to get back to the mindset of 1918 after 50 million people lost their lives. People back then understood the idea of wearing a mask. Things have not really changed, and despite what any of our leaders do or do not do, we need to wear masks.

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July 2020 | 53

Introverts Don’t Need to Be ‘Fixed’!

BY BRITTANY M. ORIE LEAK

“Why are you so quiet?” “You’d rather stay home with Netflix and a book than go to a party? What’s wrong with you?” “Why don’t you want to go out tonight? Don’t you want to have some fun?” “Why don’t you get out more and make more friends?” Introverts have been bogged down by these irritating questions all their lives.

Being an introvert in an extroverted culture is no easy ride.

They are constantly labeled by our extroverted counterparts as “antisocial,” “boring,” or “shy.” They are also expected to live their lives the way others want them to instead of how they want to.

Many introverts have idealized extroverts for a long time and even tried to mimic extroversion in order to thrive socially. Sure, the hyped-up extroverted personality has its great strengths, such as having high energy and effortlessly engaging with people. But introverts also have just as much going on for them! Here are some signature characteristics of introverts and how they can use them to pursue greatness and success.

GIVEN TO DEEP THOUGHT.

Introverts love to think. Because they are so inwardly focused, their thoughts run very wide and deep, and they often come across great revelations (or “aha!” moments). They love to tinker with thoughts and ideas and are very creative with their observations of the world and people.

GREAT LISTENERS.

These quiet folks would rather listen than speak, so listening comes quite naturally for them. Introverts listen with the intent to deeply understand a person, a concept, or a situation.

They process every word you say and gather insight to give back to you!

This is why introverts possibly make excellent teachers, counselors, and even detectives. In fact, in a romantic relationship or even a friendship, you can always count on the introvert for a listening ear and thoughtful advice.

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USE THEIR SOLITUDE WISELY.

The biggest component of introversion is the need for solitude. Introverts prefer spending time alone—sometimes with very small groups—over being with large crowds.

There is a famous quote that says, “Solitude is the catalyst for invention and great ideas.” Try not to impede introverts while they’re escaping away in solitude. They are in their zone! They are busy creating, dreaming, and contemplating how to use their talents, abilities, and ideas to make the world a better place. Also, solitude helps the introverted soul recharge (mentally and emotionally) after socializing for extended periods of time. Introverts become drained by social activity, whereas extroverts are fueled by it. So if your introverted friend, spouse, parent, or sibling wants to be alone, be assured, it is nothing personal; they are simply easing their minds until they are ready to socialize again.

THINK BEFORE SPEAKING.

Introverts are very careful about their words. This is why they come across as so quiet at first glance—they are in their heads a lot! This comes in handy when they need to practice for a speech, lecture, or any public speaking situation. They think and plan out their words carefully, so when they speak, it will come out eloquently and naturally.

Unlike extroverts, many introverts cannot speak from the top of their heads too well; they’d rather not think out loud and premeditation works best for them.

THOUGHTFUL ABOUT CHOOSING THEIR NETWORK.

Introverts normally prefer not to have too many people around them. As they mature, having quality friends and connections over a high number of acquaintances becomes more valuable to them. Introverts have a strong sense of who they are and what they want in life, so they choose friends who will help them ascend in certain areas.

Just think, in a time such as now, we have to be more introverted than ever. Even extroverts have to flex their introversion muscles by staying home for the majority of their day and avoiding large gatherings (yes, extroverts are capable of introversion just as introverts are capable of extroversion). Many extroverts have had to see life from the eyes of introverts and how we live our lives, just as introverts have had to learn how to adapt in an extroverted society for years.

Nothing is wrong with being more introverted than extroverted. It’s all about using our innate abilities and tendencies to our advantage.

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July 2020 | 55

Making Dollars, Making $ense Securities offered through LPL Financial. Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment advice offered through Marzano Capital Group, a registered investment advisor and separate entity from LPL Financial.

Working in Tandem

BY MIKE MCGILVARY, FINANCIAL ADVISOR

With still much uncertainty surrounding the capital markets, it is important to have a road map. At Marzano Capital Group, we remain optimistic as we move into the second half of 2020 and continue to work with our clients, as well as incoming new relationships.

There has been no shortage of headlines regarding the pandemic and how it has not only affected people’s health and the global economy, but also the small business community.

Winston-Salem and the surrounding areas have been greatly impacted by the recent world events, but we as a firm, believe our community consists of people and businesses who are resilient. We plan to be a part of this resilience and we will continue striving to add value in helping families build their financial road map.

Many recent client conversations in our office have surrounded the CARES Act. This piece of legislation was enacted earlier this year due to the financial hardships COVID-19 has created. The new law can affect client circumstances, and a great way to add value for our clients is to make sure we are working in tandem with their professional network. What I mean by professional network is their tax professional(s) and their estate planner(s).

For example, we recently had a client that needed to take a withdraw from their Traditional IRA. Per the IRS, withdraws from IRA accounts are subject to a 10% early withdrawal penalty in the event the account owner is under the age of 59.5. Marzano Capital Group worked closely with the client’s tax preparer to explore if this distribution from their IRA would qualify for the waiver of early withdraw penalty. It turns out the withdraw did.

This example also dovetails nicely into another important point I would like to make. As we see it, the role of the Financial Advisor has evolved over the past 20 years in rapid fashion. Previously, the financial services industry was mainly transactional in nature. In today’s environment, advisors should be doing more than just discussing investment ideas with their clients.

We feel your advisor(s) should be your “financial quarterback” so to speak. They absolutely need to manage your assets efficiently and effectively, but they also need to be your go-to resource for financial considerations. If we work openly with our clients about their goals, but also work in tandem with other professionals encompassing taxes and estate planning, we can feel confident in our advice. In our opinion, your Financial Advisor should have a client-centric process, not just an investment product-based relationship.

Lasting relationships are important in our office and we are happy to report our firm has continued to grow these longterm relationships within our community. I hope everyone has a wonderful Independence Day and we look forward to continuing to add value where we can!

56 | ForsythWoman.com

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Good Ol’ Summertime “There’s a time of year that we always hold dear, good old summertime, with the birds and the trees’es and the sweet-scented breezes… and life is one beautiful rhyme, no trouble annoying, each one enjoying the good old summertime.” ~ Ren Shields

When I was a child, the summer months meant no school and time to play. I have many wonderful memories of summer, which always included a week at the beach. There was no air conditioning or swimming pool, but I do remember lots of homemade ice cream and cold watermelon to help cool us off.

Summer was a time to step away from the busyness of the world and enjoy time with family, read a book, play a game, plant and harvest food, or complete a project.

The past 3 ½ months have not been ‘summertime.’ Not by choice, many of you have stepped away from your busyness, slowed down, and reflected on what is important in your life. It’s been a time to have meals with your family, play a game, take a walk, call a friend, write a note, finish a project around your home, do a craft and to help the fight against COVID, many of you have made face masks for yourselves and others.

Because COVID-19 has been playing havoc with all of our lives, this has been and will be a different summer as plans are altered for summer vacations and house guest, camps or VBS for the kids, etc. but COVID-19 doesn’t have to cancel the rest of your summer.

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Focus on what you can do and delight in the small pleasures: • Take a picnic to the park… or your backyard.

• Churn a freezer of homemade ice cream.

• Fly the American Flag for the 4th of July.

• Enjoy a late afternoon walk or bike ride in your neighborhood.

• Spend a Saturday morning at a Farmer’s Market.

• Hang wind chimes on your porch or from a nearby tree.

• Feed the humming birds and take time to watch them come to your feeder.

• Pick blueberries at a local ‘pick-yourown’ farm.

• String lights around your deck or patio.

• Learn a new game with your family. Color Ku is a new game I recently bought and one that everyone who wants to play works together to solve the puzzle.

• Refresh a room or rooms in your home with a new coat of paint. Call me, and I can help you make a color choice.

Yes, we’re in this together!

Summer is passing quickly, and soon the ‘good ole summertime’ of 2020 will be over.

Celebrate, make memories, and be thankful!

Summer recipe to cool you off…..

VANILLA “WHITE” ICE CREAM (enough for 4 or 5 quart freezer) 2 quarts Half & Half 1 pint regular whipping cream ¼ tsp. salt 2 ½ Tbls. clear vanilla flavoring 4 oz. Cool Whip 2 cups sugar *optional: chopped sweetened fruit

Mix all ingredients well in the canister and add milk to the fill line if needed. Let chill overnight or several hours.

Use electric freezer….layer ice & ice cream salt….use lots of salt.

As soon as freezer stops, take dasher out (it will be easier to dip the ice cream out of the canister without the dasher), put the lid back on and let ripen 30 minutes or more…..pack with more ice and salt. After packing the freezer with more ice and salt, I always lay a couple of clean old towels on top while the ice is ripening.

This is our favorite homemade ice cream recipe given to me by a dear friend, Ramona Trivette. Her mother, Nell Henderson, perfected this recipe July 1, 1985. Nell made this often for her family.

10 Reasons People Choose ReDESIGNS by Ava: 1. They’ve seen the results on TV Home makeover shows or in a friends house.

2. They want a fresh, designer look but haven’t been able to create it.

6. They are blending 2 households of furnishings and want professional help with what to keep and how to make it work.

7. They desire a home that feels good and looks good yet reflects who they are.

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3. They want great results without great expense.

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4. They don’t know where to place the “old” furniture in a new house.

9. They want to prepare their home to maximize market appeal for a quick, top dollar sale.

5. They don’t want to make an expensive purchase they’ll regret.

10. They believe that when you want professional results you hire a professional.

Ava is the ReDESIGN expert in and around Forsyth County!

Contact her to find out how you can fall in love with your home — either all over again, or for the first time!

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Salon It’sGrassroots time to put You First!

We are here to take care of everything you desire leaving you feeling fabulous! From haircuts and color to spa services rejuvenating your mind & body. The Grassroots team is committed to our guests in providing a safe environment during your time relaxing with us.

3283 Robinhood Rd. (beside Freshmarket) 336-774-4777 | grassrootssalon.com @grassroots_aveda July 2020 | 59

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Inspiration might seem hard to come by nowadays, and no one blames you! From the sheer amount of change to adjust to in the world around you, it’s not hard to imagine that your creative juices might be drier than they have ever been – and even though so many things have changed, you need that inspiration!

If you’re finding yourself stuck on empty, keep reading to find that creative prowess!

FIRST…CLEAR YOUR MIND.

Know the worst thing you can do when you’re trying to be creative? Think about how you can’t be creative. I feel like I’m constantly telling people ‘take a breath,’ and it’s so true and helpful! If your narrative is ‘Oh, no, I need to be creative.

I have nothing to be creative about. What do I do? Maybe I’ll focus on this. No, wait.

Oh, no!’ and it circles around over and over, you’re not going to get anywhere.

TAP LEARNING STYLES

DIVE INTO YOUR SENSES

Verbal-Linguistic – oral and written language Logical-Mathematical – equations and proofs Visual-Spatial – maps and geographical information Musical - sound Naturalistic – nature and the natural world Bodily-kinesthetic – physical movement Interpersonal - conversation Intrapersonal – internal reflection

By doing this, you’re giving your brain a bit of a break away from the processing it’s probably doing in the background on whatever you’re trying to be creative with. Know how we get new ideas in the shower? Similar mentality here – you’re allowing the focus to be dispersed away from overthinking by spending time with things you can actively label and name.

There is a theory that there are multiple modalities of learning – essentially, we all learn in different ways, from doing to listening to the internal conversation and spending time with nature. While the theory is highly disputed that these styles of learning are more than special interests, psychologist Howard Gardner coined eight specific categories that individuals learn through. Here’s a quick outline:

Try tapping into one or more of these and see what comes out of it. Maybe you sit outside or look at maps or listen to new music.

Experiment and see if anything sparks!

This might seem intuitive, but hear me out.

Spend some time really diving into your senses. Go to a space in your house, outside, a new location – and walk through all of your senses one at a time. Think about everything you can see, smell, touch, hear, and, if you’re able, taste. Really take time to label all of those things clearly – this space smells like fresh rain, or dirty socks – and focus on the tangible.

PROCESS OVER PRODUCT

A lot of times, I get stuck in my own creative rut when I’m fixated on perfection. I’ve written two books, a lot of articles and think-pieces for various outlets – and through all of that, I’ve learned something very important that I wish someone would have told me in the beginning. I’m going to tell you because it’s magic. Ready?

You cannot edit blank pages. You can always edit garbage.

Even if you think whatever you are putting out there is the worst idea in the history of ideas, you can always work with something – you cannot work with nothing! If you focus on the process of creation versus this brilliantly shiny end product, you’ll allow yourself to experiment, make mistakes, and edit to awesome. If you don’t give yourself that space, you will stay stuck.

SLEEP ON IT

This isn’t just about taking a nap or waiting a day to go back to the idea or creative concept that has been keeping you up at night – this is quite literally, give yourself a break from it. Pick up another project, think of a new idea – whatever you have to do to give that idea a rest.

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And come back when you’re ready. Good luck!

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July 2020 | 61

The Natural Blood Flow

BY BRITTANY M. ORIE LEAK So, here’s the reality: this world is not always so kind to us. There are times where it brings us profound stress – so profound that it makes our blood pressure climb mountains! High blood pressure affects tens of millions of adults in the United States, making it very common. High blood pressure increases the risk of stroke and heart disease, the two most common causes of death for Americans.

But no matter what we may go through in life, our blood pressure will always be manageable.

But we may not always want to depend on pharmaceutical drugs that bring on side effects. How about going the natural route?

Hippocrates famously quoted, “Let thy food be thy medicine.”

Well, in honor of National Blood Pressure Month, we will look at natural ways to lower our hypertension. Here are some healthy foods that naturally lower blood pressure and keep us healthy in general.

Berries are rich with flavonoids, a natural compound that is found to prevent hypertension when consumed. Blueberries have the highest amount of flavonoids, while raspberries and strawberries also have them.

Bananas are known for their high potassium levels, a mineral famous for lowering high blood pressure. Bananas are not the only potassium-rich food – avocados, honeydew, mushrooms, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, and beans are also loaded with potassium.

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Dark Chocolate is likely to lower blood pressure because of the main ingredient, cocoa.

Dark chocolate has the highest amount of cocoa while regular milk chocolate has significantly less and white chocolate has the least. So dark chocolate is truly the healthiest form of cocoa!

Fermented Foods may taste horrendous, but they are exceptionally good for the body! Fermented foods are high in probiotics, which are healthy bacteria that maintain good gut health. Probiotics can help lower blood pressure. Here are some fermented foods to try: natural yogurt, kimchi, kombucha, apple cider vinegar, miso, and tempeh.

Oats may reduce blood pressure due to a fiber called beta-glucan. This fiber also lowers blood cholesterol (which is found in Cheerios!).

Lentils & Pulses are a protein-rich staple in vegan and vegetarian diets that help lower blood pressure. Studies have shown that pulses such as beans, lentils, peas, and chickpeas have lowered blood pressure by 30 percent!

Leafy Greens are high in nitrates which help manage blood pressure. Research shows that eating nitrate-rich greens in 1-2 servings every day can lower blood pressure for up to 24 hours! Leafy greens to try are cabbage, spinach, kale, lettuce, collards, and mustard greens.

Pistachios! Want a tasty snack?

Pistachios have been shown to reduce hypertension in times of stress, perhaps because a compound in the nuts helps loosen tight blood vessels.

So, the next time you’re tensely sitting at your work desk, pop out some of those green munchies!

Garlic is an antifungal food that helps the body produce nitric oxide which helps muscles to relax and blood vessels to dilate, thereby reducing hypertension.

Kiwi is rich in vitamin C, which naturally helps lower blood pressure. Recent studies show that eating three kiwis a day reduces blood pressure significantly.

Beets in juice form is highly effective in reducing hypertension in the short and long term. Just drinking one cup of red beet juice daily can reduce blood pressure.

Try these natural practices to lower blood pressure!

Walking and regular exercising strengthens your heart and makes it more effective in pumping blood, lowering the pressure in your arteries.

Cutting back on caffeine will lower your blood pressure quickly. Consuming coffee and sodas give blood pressure a quick boost, so doing the opposite is highly beneficial.

Manage stress by practicing meditation and deep breathing. This will slow down a rapid heartbeat.

Losing weight helps blood vessels expand and contract better, making it easier for the heart to pump blood.

Control your blood pressure, don’t let it pressure you!

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July 2020 | 63

While You’re Away:

10 Things to do Before Your House Sitter Arrives

BY TARYN JEREZ

Before you skip town for the weekend or gear up for your next big family vacation, you may be met with a to-do list of tasks from getting the family packed up to making hotel arrangements. With so many things to check off the list, don’t forget to make arrangements with your house sitter ahead of time and get things ready for her arrival in advance.

It may seem as simple as leaving a spare key under the mat, but there are definitely some things to consider taking care of up front to help both parties feel prepared.

GET THINGS SPICK & SPAN The hustle and bustle of leaving town may be counterproductive sometimes to keeping a house clean as you’re organizing things to take with you. If you have little ones, for instance, you may even be able to trace each of your steps by the tornado of items left behind while packing! Do yourself a favor and before your house sitter is set to arrive, give your space a quick clean up to help it look its best. You can start with prioritizing the main living spaces and then tidy up the bedrooms and bathrooms if time allows. While this will help your house sitter seamlessly make her way through your home as needed, it will also give you the peace of mind that you’ll be coming back to a beautiful, clean home.

DON’T FORGET, SAFETY FIRST! Take inventory of all access points to your home before you head out to make sure everything is closed and locked. You’ll also want to arm your alarm system and leave special instructions for your house sitter on how to disarm and arm the alarm, so she doesn’t run into any issues.

Notifying your alarm system company in advance with your house sitter’s information and the dates you’ll be traveling isn’t a bad idea either.

Besides keeping the house itself safe, leave behind a list of emergency contacts such as neighbors, close friends or family, nearby urgent care, hospitals, and firehouses. Consider providing contact information for where you’ll be staying as well, in the event your sitter needs to get in touch.

ANY FURRY FRIENDS TO THINK ABOUT? Some house sitters may double as a pet sitter when you’re out of town!

Be sure if it’s the first time you’ll be booking your sitter that you schedule a time for her to come by the house to get to know your fur babies in advance and learn the layout of your home. If you have anxious dogs, for instance, it may be advisable to have them greet and sniff this new human before they arrive at your home without you. You’ll want to have all pet supplies easily identifiable and placed out, such as food, food bowls, bed, toys, treats, leashes, and any medication that may be needed. Additionally, leave a schedule with any time-sensitive instructions regarding your pet, like feeding or medication times. Last but not least, pet safety is just as important, so have that vet and emergency pet hospital information out for your sitter as well.

SET EXPECTATIONS Any time you have someone in your home outside of the family who occupies it, it’s a good idea to make sure everyone is on the same page.

If certain areas of the house or resources are off-limits, be specific and let your house sitter know. Both parties will also benefit from setting specific responsibilities around the role of the house sitter before the gig begins. Discuss which tasks are included, such as setting alarm systems, checking the mail, taking out trash, cleaning, pet care, communication, and more. You will also want to confirm the schedule for your trip, making sure everyone is on the same page with the dates and times you’ll be out of town, as well as the duration your sitter will plan to stay or check in on your home. Know what rate your sitter is charging and the method and time of payment they prefer so you are squared away before you leave.

Remember, choose a house sitter you trust and feel comfortable having to watch your home. When using someone new, always ask for references and schedule a time to meet with the person in advance.

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FAMILY SERVICES COMMITTED TO KEEPING FAMILIES STRONG AT HOME For many of us, this year is nothing like we imagined it would be. So many big events, celebrations and even family reunions have been canceled.

Right now, the most privileged of us are safe at home. But that’s not the story for everyone.

For victims of domestic violence, child abuse, and sexual assault, home can be one of the most dangerous places during the COVID-19 crisis. Increased anxiety and depression are also symptoms of self-isolation.

As our community continues to face unprecedented challenges during this pandemic, Family Services launched a new landing page StrongAtHome.org, to promote our ongoing services in domestic violence, sexual assault, and counseling.

Our message is simple: • YOU ARE NOT ALONE. • WE ARE HERE WHEN YOU NEED US. • THIS IS WHAT WE DO.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: While Family Services has not yet seen a visible uptick in the number of local domestic violence reports, our experts at Safe On Seven say they have reason to believe that cases are, in fact, on the rise.

Despite the fact that the number of crisis line calls and walk-ins are down, Safe on Seven Program Manager Meredith Hooks said she believes the number of domestic violence cases is increasing, but the COVID-19 pandemic has made it harder for people to get help.

“Often that crisis line call will be made when the abuser is at work or when she’s taking the children to school. None of that is happening right now as people are working from home or they’ve lost their jobs,” Hooks said.

If you are experiencing a crisis involving domestic violence, please call the 24-hour crisis line. Help is just a phone call away. 336-723-8125

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SEXUAL ASSAULT

COUNSELING

The truth is, at times like these, victims and survivors of sexual assault could be isolated and confined in or near their homes where sexual abuse may be taking place.

As a result of living day after day of this crisis, our friends and neighbors are experiencing unprecedented levels of anxiety and depression. Mental health is really taking center stage in the invisible injuries suffered during this pandemic, as people look for new ways to deal with stress, frustration, and even anger.

We also know that because of the potential close proximity of perpetrators, coming forward to report incidents of sexual assault can sometimes be challenging at times like this.

In such times it can be very helpful to have someone compassionately listen and help you sort through issues in a confidential manner.

• Based on 2018-19 data, nearly 2,500 North Carolina children under the age of 18, and more than 6,700 adults were sexually assaulted.

• 28 percent of those victims were assaulted by a relative.

• Another 28 percent were assaulted by an acquaintance.

• 8 out of 10 perpetrators in sexual assault cases are known to the victim.

• 83 percent of sexual assaults occur in or near a victim’s home.

That’s why Family Services domestic violence and sexual assault hotlines stand ready to assist and support.

If you have been violated—in some way— by someone, whether you were assaulted minutes ago, days ago or years ago, Family Services is here to help. 336-722-4457

Family Services is open for video-based counseling sessions and we are accepting new referrals.

We provide an array of outpatient therapy, counseling support and educational programs to help children, adults and families cope with challenges in their lives.

Our therapists address common concerns, including: • Anxiety and depression • Stress or anger management • Relationship difficulties • Separation and divorce • Adjustment/transitional issues • Domestic violence • Physical and sexual abuse • Grief and loss • Parenting/child behavioral concerns • Trauma • Workplace issues To request telehealth (video-based) counseling services.

You will be able to leave a message and our Intake Specialist will return your call as soon as possible. 336-722-8173

Family Services

July 2020 | 67

THE IMPORTANCE OF SUPPORTING LOCAL RESTAURANTS… & HAIR SALONS… & SHOPS… & ALL OTHER LOCAL BUSINESSES

BY ROSEY

Usually, I focus my energies on writing about restaurants. But this month, I asked to take a different twist on my normal “Rosey’s Review” column.

We’ve all been concerned about the health of our communities, as we should be! This is a brand-new virus that has wreaked havoc on the world! But like many, I’ve also been deeply concerned about the impact COVID-19 has had on local businesses.

As we continue to progress in the various phases of re-opening, it’s critically important to continue to support those local businesses that make our community thrive. Consider the following stats from the Small Business Administration: small business applications plummeted by 27% in the weeks following March 13, 2020. Why does that matter? Because that means that many would-be businesses did not open. And because of that – new jobs were not created.

So what about the businesses that were in operation pre-COVID-19? Many have not survived the shutdown and will not re-open, but small business employment dropped by 15.7% as well. That s approximately 19.6 million jobs that were cut by small businesses who could not afford to retain staff during the shutdown.

The reason all of this matters is because small businesses are the heartbeat of America! In 2016, the Small Business and Entrepreneurship Council reported that of the 5.6 million employer firms in the country, 99.7% of those were considered small businesses (500 or fewer employees)… And lest you think that’s not such a small business – 98.2% of those businesses had 100 or fewer employees! Those with less than 20 employees made up 89%. So the impact of small businesses cannot be underrated.

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Moreover, money spent in small businesses stays in the community. For every $1 spent at a locally owned restaurant, salon, boutique, or other business, 68% stays in the local economy. That kind of impact supports everything from jobs to schools to real estate and everything in between! It’s huge! Especially when you consider that small businesses, on average, donate 250% more to non-profits and community causes.

Every year in November, small businesses around the country participate in Small Business Saturday. I’m urging everyone who reads this to get a jump start on it. Now. In July. Let the small businesses in our community know we support them.

Y’all, if you read Rosey’s Review regularly, you know that I have a tremendous love for our local flavors. But that extends beyond the amazing restaurants we have in the community. I love small businesses. We have some really incredible talent and passionate entrepreneurs and small business owners who live in Forsyth County, many of whom are advertising partners of Forsyth Magazines – another small business that is included in this whole plea for supporting local!

Order take out. Schedule an appointment. Get a gift certificate.

Share their social media posts. Don’t stop showing your support. This isn’t over, and recovery won’t happen overnight.

But you can be a part of the solution that starts today.

Love Where You Live

Shop Local

July 2020 | 69

Cool & Creative

Ways to Burn More Calories

BY SUSAN SCHABACKER those chompers between meals.

The added perk: fresher breath, so your sweetie will enjoy kissing you!

Tired of going to the gym? Bored with your same old workout routine? Get cool, crafty, and creative with burning calories, and have more fun in the process! Instead of adulting all the time, learn to be a kid again! Schedule a play day when you can go outside and swing, jump rope, and play tag. Skateboard, rollerblade, or surf your way into getting more fit, toned, and buff. Instead of worrying about the outcome, enjoy the process. There are lots of ways to burn calories without resorting to a tried and true routine.

Tired of walking the same neighborhood blocks? Try turning online for workouts to get rid of calories and shed extra pounds. Mix up your routine and incorporate yoga, belly dancing, hula hooping, and jump roping while moving to YouTube videos. No worries about people seeing or judging you. You can even wear your pajamas.

Chomping on a piece of gum in between meals can burn calories without you even realizing it, and a simple stick of gum can curb and control appetite and promote feelings of fullness. Best bet for your teeth and gums is to opt for sugarfree gum. A 150 pound woman can blow off 11 calories or so every 12 minutes, so exercise

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Even drinking cold water boosts your metabolism! A study in young adults revealed that drinking 17 ounces of cold water increased calorie burning capacity by 24-30% for 90 minutes. Now that’s good news!

One thing kids do – often not even realizing it – is fidgeting. They just can’t sit still. Instead of being still all the time, we stationary adults should follow suit. The simple acts of restlessly bouncing your foot or leg, drumming on the table, twirling your hair, and playing with your rings can help you get rid of excess calories. Only drawback – it may get annoying after a while.

You may have heard that laughter is a form of medicine. We all need laughter in our lives, so embrace your own unique sense of humor.

Invite friends over (or into a vid chat), turn on some comedy, and have some fun. From giggling to big belly laughs, laughing can help relieve anxiety and stress and can give a mini aerobic workout. So crack some jokes and get giggling!

The outdoorsy type? Pick a cool morning or evening to go hiking or biking. Take the scenic routes and get reconnected with nature. Pick an area with steeper inclines for a healthy challenge. You’ll get much more out of your hike or bike work out than traveling across an all one-level, flat plain. Rather stick closer to home?

Stick to your own neighborhood or find a local park.

How many calories can you burn biking in 30 minutes?

How about 298 calories if you’re a 150 lb. woman!

Hit the pool… but which one? Swimming or billiards?

You can burn plenty of calories with both. Swimming is an ideal exercise and can be therapeutic. Doing the crawl freestyle stroke, the butterfly, doggy paddling, and the backstroke can help improve circulation, lung capacity, strength, and flexibility. Prefer the billiards?

Install your own pool table in your family room or basement and invite friends over for a celebratory game or two. Put that brewski down and turn your focus to potting that 8-ball. A 150 pound woman can shoot off about 99 calories in 35 minutes or so. Now you can treat yourself to another beer.

More fun places are skating rinks – whether you prefer ice skates, roller skates, or rollerblades. Not good at it? Fall a lot? That’s okay. Even falling down – despite the unwanted bruises and scrapes – can help take out those unwanted calories. Don’t give up and keep at it. Maybe you’ll eventually graduate to a speedy Gonzales in the speed skate.

However you choose to lose those calories and drop those pounds, exercising doesn’t have to be laborious drudgery. Make it a goal to be a kid-at-heart and have more fun working out!

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Ryan’s Restaurant

July 2020 | 71

Breaking Up…With a Friend

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

You’ve had a falling out (again), and you’re upset.

Whatever that upset is: sad, angry, disgusted – it’s bad enough that you left in a huff or hung up with a slam. You’ve been ignoring texts, and maybe the other person is, too. And while stewing, you realize this might be it.

No. Have the conversation. By ghosting, you’re not being respectful to the reasons you were friends.

Think back on the time before you realized you had to end this relationship. There is likely good there.

Give that relationship the respect and kindness to have a conversation instead of disappearing.

You might have to break up.

THINK FIRST, TALK SECOND

But…it’s not the kind of break-up.

It’s a friend break-up.

Do not, I repeat, do not have emotional conversations. You are likely to end up with hurt feelings and saying something that you don’t mean. All conversations have four things to consider: who you’re talking to, where you’re having this conversation, what you want out of it, and how you feel. That emotion part? It can be a clear window or a concrete wall when it comes to communication.

I’ve witnessed this a lot lately, and I would be lying if I didn’t admit to a few friend break-ups myself. Thinking about a friend break-up? Before you disappear, take a step back and run down this list of suggestions:

BREAK OR BREAK-UP?

While both require clear communication, take a breath and think: do you want a break or a break-up? Do you want this person out of your life or do you just need some time apart?

Consider how you feel. If your feelings are hurt, there is a possibility that you might just need some time and space away from your friend. If your feelings are ALWAYS hurt, and there is little to no remorse from this friend, it might be time for a break-up.

Does thinking about it make you feel ill? Are you ok with this person not having access to you or your life? If yes, keep going. If no, take some time away.

MAKE GOOD CHOICES

Conversations about emotions are difficult.

Feelings are going to be hurt; there might be tears, vulnerability, or rage. Just thinking about the conflict might be making you anxious and nervous.

Wouldn’t it be easier just to ignore the calls, texts, and direct messages and disappear?

This “ghosting” that is often reserved for romantic relationships and dating can happen with friendships. It’s easier to ignore versus have the break-up conversation and conflict, right?

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Sit down and think about what needs to be said.

It can be as simple and assertive as, “I feel upset when you do [this action or behavior], so I don’t think I would like to continue this friendship.”

Remember to tie your own emotion to an action, not to a person – you’re the only one who is in control of your emotions. Saying, “You make me angry!” makes you powerless.

KEEP IT CALM Another nod to emotions – if you feel them rising, take another breath, and walk away. The spectrum of “Yes, I think we should break up, too” to “How could you do this to me?” will be your friend’s reaction, so do your best to keep your own emotions in check and keep things calm.

There isn’t much you can do when it comes to being calm except pay attention to yourself: you can’t change how someone else communicates, only how you respond to it.

YOU’RE NOT ENEMIES Above all, not being friends doesn’t mean you have to be enemies. You’re simply not friends – you don’t have to get hurtful or hate each other. Chances are you’ve just outgrown the friendship and need to move on.

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@jodiebrimphotography July 2020 | 73

Your Guide to Booking Your First Airbnb

BY TARYN JEREZ

Since its surge in popularity in 2010, Airbnb has made the world of traveling for pleasure much more accessible and affordable for the average household. Regardless of your wants and needs, Airbnb allows you to find lodging that meets a variety of budgets, styles, and preferences around the world in a variety of price points, by connecting location hosts to travelers seeking accommodations.

Does the idea of booking through Airbnb interest you but come along with a little uncertainty?

Understanding the ins and outs of how everything works can all be incredibly helpful before reserving your first trip!

Check out the information below to get a clear vision for how Airbnb can quickly become your new favorite travel resource.

BENEFITS OF AIRBNB

Rather than feeling limited by hotel chains, Airbnb opens up a plethora of choices. You’ll find accommodations for practically any of the ‘must-haves’ on your list in over 81,000 cities and 191 countries across the globe.

Offering stays in rooms, cabins, condos, houses, and more, it’s not only more practical than a traditional hotel stay or bed & breakfast but typically offers more privacy as well.

Just think about the omission of front desk employees, cleaning crew, and other guests nearby. One of the most popular benefits for patrons is that most stays let you really live like a local by creating space for you to explore, shop small, cook your own meals in the kitchen space and make yourself at home.

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NAVIGATING YOUR SEARCH Similar to other online travel booking options out there, you’ll be greeted with a search option on the Airbnb website or mobile app. First things first, you’ll want to choose your destination location and narrow things down from there. The search feature is very straightforward and allows you to zone in on what you’re really hoping for out of your stay. Choose filters such as neighborhood, price range, room type, amenities, host language skills, and more! As you review your search results, you can mark favorites with a heart, so you have the option to review all of them and compare to one another after you’ve conducted your main search, and can narrow down your booking choice.

FINDING THE BEST DEAL A key part of the Airbnb craze is definitely the price point!

Now, not all Airbnb experiences are going to necessarily be cheaper than a nearby hotel; however, many customers find that when they weigh what they’re getting, it’s at a higher value. As you search for that perfect booking, there are a few ways to ensure you get the best deal. First, consider traveling during a low or off-season to your location as you’ll notice reduced pricing, as well as have an upper hand if you choose to negotiate with the host of the property. If you can be flexible on your travel dates, this will open up pricing options as well. Another route to finding a great deal is looking at last minute bookings as hosts are more likely to drop rates due to supply and demand.

COMMUNICATING WITH HOSTS While working with an individual host is definitely different than a hotel or large travel agency, the key to ensure a complicated free booking process and stay is communication. If you are unsure about something regarding the listing, contact the property host. They are there to make sure you have all the information you need and usually will have a quick reply time. If you’re needing additional clarification on details such as check-in, cancellation policy, or amenities, let them know. Talk with them in advance about any concerns or special requests, and of course, as you approach your check-in date and time, let them know of any changes.

FEELING CONFIDENT DURING YOUR STAY

One of the biggest reasons travelers delay trying Airbnb are questions when it comes to the safety and security of the model. While the majority of patrons you may speak with had a wonderful experience, it’s important to do your due diligence on your end to protect your travel investment and peace of mind. When searching for a property, pay attention to reviews from other travelers to see how their experience went. You can also see if a host has been labeled as a “Superhost” which will be clear by the badge next to their photo.

Superhosts gain their titles by exceeding expectations and meeting requirements like getting a certain amount of 5-star reviews and being committed to creating above and beyond guest experiences.

SPREAD THE LOVE WITH A REVIEW

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This retro-classic is a constant on our dinner rotation. If I’m being honest, the fact that this recipe is easy, quick and often a request from my husband makes it a staple in our household. I typically serve alongside steamed broccoli and call it a day. Gently dredged in bread crumbs, this version is baked (not fried!), making it a guiltless, easy, weeknight meal.

Original recipe from myrecipes.com.

INGREDIENTS ¼ cup chicken broth 5 teaspoons butter, melted 1 large garlic clove, minced ½ cup dry bread crumbs 1 tablespoon grated Parmesan 1 teaspoon paprika 4 (6-ounce) boneless, skinless chicken breasts ¼ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon dried oregano ¼ teaspoon ground black pepper 4 thin slices prosciutto (about 2 ounces) ¼ cup (1 ounce) shredded mozzarella Salt and pepper to taste Cooking Spray

DIRECTIONS Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Place broth in a small microwave-safe bowl; microwave on high for 15 seconds or until warm.

Stir in butter and garlic.

Combine bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese and paprika in a medium shallow bowl; set aside.

Place each chicken breast between 2 sheets of heavy-duty plastic wrap and pound into a ¼-inch thickness using a meat mallet or rolling pin. Sprinkle both sides of the chicken with salt, oregano and pepper.

Top each breast with 1 slice of prosciutto and 1 tablespoon of mozzarella. Roll-up each breast and dip into chicken broth mixture; dredge in bread crumb mixture.

Place rolls, seam side down, on an 8-inch square baking dish coated with cooking spray. Pour remaining broth mixture over chicken. Bake at 350 degrees for 28 minutes or until juices run clear and tops are golden.

76 | ForsythWoman.com

Chicken Cordon Bleu Bake

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336-407-3655 July 2020 | 77

Anxiety

When Doesn’t Seem Like Anxiety

BY MEGAN TAYLOR

If, as you were reading, you recognized some of these signs in yourself, don’t worry! Anxiety can be easily helped through a variety of different activities. Here are a few examples: • Eat right, get enough sleep, and exercise

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults in the United States and are the most common mental illnesses. These disorders can prevent a person from living their normal life due to a continual feeling of worry, fear, nervousness, and being overwhelmed. Well-known anxiety disorders include panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, phobias, and general anxiety. Researchers are still investigating what causes anxiety in a person, but have discovered it can be a combination of changes in a person’s brain, stress, and genes.

The good news is that all of these disorders are highly treatable, and people can get back to living normally by learning techniques to manage their feelings. However, these illnesses often go undiagnosed, with the ADAA stating that only 37% of the people with anxiety get treatment. This can be because some signs can be overlooked or thought of as something else.

The most common signs or symptoms of anxiety are: • Sense of panic or a feeling of being nervous or irritable • Fear of the unknown • Having an increased heart rate or heart palpations • Breathing rapidly and/or sweating • Feeling weak or tired • Shortness of breath • Tense muscles • Difficulty concentrating • Having trouble sleeping • Gastrointestinal problems • Headaches These symptoms are also the most familiar to people. It is important to note a person with the disorder doesn’t have to have all of these signs.

Yet, anxiety towards a situation, worry, etc., can manifest itself in other unnoticeable habits, such as the following: • Overreactions to stressors of all sizes. No matter the size of the issue, problem, or situation, anxiety can magnify it. Maybe you heard about a worrisome event on the news and prepare yourself for a potential impact, even though the chances of the event reaching you are small.

• Difficulty relaxing or concentrating. When a person has anxiety, their brain jumps all over the place, thinking of what needs to be done and possible problems that could arise. A person could also have trouble relaxing when a problem continues to weigh on their mind, causing anxiety symptoms to appear.

• Negative self-talk and irrational thinking. It is great to have high expectations for yourself, but give yourself grace and understand it is okay to not be perfect. Anxiety can allow negative thoughts and doubts to creep into a person’s mind and cause them to be hard on themselves. Wanting to be prepared for anything and everything is also common, which can lead to overthinking. A person can easily overthink all the little details, rehearse how scenarios will go in their heads, and more. This can lead to unnecessary stress and an overwhelming sensation of thoughts.

• A yearning to isolate yourself from others and avoid all activities outside of your comfort space. Just the thought of having plans and interacting with others can impact a person so much their body starts to show symptoms. This can be related to the fear of “what could go wrong” or “what will happen.” The fear of the unknown is powerful and very scary. Even a little outing can be so stressful it will cause a person with anxiety to cancel their plans.

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• Journaling • Taking notes of your emotions and senses through the grounding techniques. These techniques allow you to find your footing and recognize your surroundings. The “54321 Technique” is a favorite among many. All you need to do is list things you notice around you. First, list five things you hear, then four things you see, three things you can touch from where you are located, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This will help draw your attention to the details that aren’t related to your worries.

• Be creative • Get outside • Meditate or practice yoga • Cut down on foods and drinks with a high level of caffeine • Talk with your family and friends about what you are feeling And don’t be afraid to seek professional assistance. Options include individual counseling, online support, or group meetings.

Medications and therapy can also be used to help manage your anxiety. You just need to find what works best in order for you to live a happy and fulfilling life.

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Dirty Dozen

July 2020 | 79

When you look at this photo, what do you see?

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

I see a nest built by a determined pair of house finches, a fanciful home built with grace from “local material.” Look closely and you will discern a fine bed layered in fresh sage and walls intricately woven of flowering thyme and steadfast oregano. I don’t understand the ways of birds enough to know if the choice of materials was an expression of mere pragmatism, based on what was abundant and available, or something more. Who knows? Perhaps herbs prove sturdy when Mother Nature sends the wind and the rain.

Or, could it be that herbs provide a welcome scent, a distinctive touch to mark this nest as “our home”? While I wonder, I marvel, and I speculate, I know that I don’t need to understand.

In thinking how I set about feathering my own nest, I flash back to a realtor who commented that my last home in Connecticut was “highly-stylized.” While I respected her observation and chuckled at her tactfulness, I also knew that, beyond helping me sell my place, she didn’t need to understand. A home is a nest, and a nest is nothing short of personal.

My home shelters only the three of us: Dean, Miss Noelle - my ancient mini poodle - and me. It serves our needs while it invites us to create a space that is functional, true-to-who-weare, and beautiful. These words have subjective meaning and how we define them - separately and together - evolves continually, just as we do.

In September of 2017, we purchased our 1968 ranch house here in North Carolina.

We had seen the house online, done a virtual walkthrough, and quickly went under contract. The night before the closing, we drove down from Connecticut and saw the house in real time, for the first time. Suffice it to say that I am known to make significant leaps of faith.

No matter; I already had a

80 | ForsythWoman.com

good sense of how I would transform this house into my home. I knew that the lightfilled dining room would reinvent itself as my office, a place to think, work, and pay my bills. I also knew that my 19th century carved Victorian dining table would be my desk, and the accompanying sideboard would store my office supplies and reference materials. By moving these much-loved pieces into this room, I gave them a new and useful purpose, exercised my pragmatism, and something more: I created a space where the practical and the poetic peacefully co-exist. That matters to me.

Next, I moved on to the living room, an unusual space with crown and dentil molding uncharacteristic of its mid-century origins.

This dark and dreamy space became my drawing room - more formal, distinctly feminine, and suited to reading, intimate conversation, and book club gatherings. I have filled this room with estate sale finds, personal mementos from my life journey, and of course, my husband’s floral masterpieces. On a small marble table sits a humble set of Russian nesting dolls.

These I sought out on eBay to remind me of “the story within the story, within the story” that is my life.

And so it goes, this business of transforming a neutral and impersonal house into a “personally-stylized” home.

It’s not for everyone, and it needn’t be.

Perhaps this year’s experience of sheltering-inplace has got you thinking and dreaming in new ways.

Beyond man caves and she-sheds, perhaps you will reconsider the nest you call home, reimagining how it serves and expresses who you are. Others can wonder and marvel at your choices, as I did with the seeminglywhimsical finch house, but they don’t really need to understand. Stay true to who you are and where you are right now. That clarity will guide you to address your practical needs while responding to what speaks to your soul.

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July 2020 | 81

When I Look Back on This Time

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

We didn’t ask for this, COVID-19, the pandemic. It arrived unexpected and unwelcomed. Yet we find ourselves here, in the midst of it. And the question arises as it always does, in every moment, every passage, every transition, every change: “How will you handle this?” As for me, I am answering in reverse, by considering the memories I want to have about this time.

When I look back, I realize that I want to know many things.

I want to know that I didn’t: • Squander the quiet by filling it with unanswerable “What if’s” • Fester in an uncertainty that stifled my courage or my creativity • Let my light go dim – never that • Join a chorus of negativity as an outlet for fear • Lose hope for a brighter and healthier tomorrow Instead, I want to know that, besides sheltering in place, practicing social distancing, and adapting in a myriad of other ways, I: • Gathered my strength, born of so many other unexpected and unwelcomed changes • Summoned the best in me in response to every shift and challenge

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• Noticed every good thing • Appreciated the personal gestures – a smile in a stranger’s eyes, the “Here you go, Ma’am. This cart’s been cleaned,” from a store employee • Relished the larger gestures – teddy bears, American flags in all of their inherent glory, sidewalk chalk messages of encouragement, white candles in windows, and so on and so on • Reached out, if only to ask, “U good?”

• Deepened my patience and my compassion in ways too numerable to recount No, I didn’t want this any more than you did. I didn’t want it, in the same way, I didn’t want the grief that comes with the passing of a loved one, the despair that comes with betrayal, or the fear that comes with a cancer diagnosis.

But here it is and, because I know I have a choice, I know what I am doing with it.

What about you? This circumstance doesn’t define you, and so, how are you handling it? And, more to the point, what are you doing with it? What memories do you want to have about this time?

Start there, then ask yourself how you are using this time to become a better version of you.

It is your choice. How you respond is always on you. Choose wisely.

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BY SUSAN SCHABACKER

Traditional Southern Coleslaw + Other Takes & Twist

s

GOT SLAW?

What’s the perfect side dish for Southern BBQ that works well atop hot dogs and chili? Slaw, sweetie. Can’t go wrong in the nutrition department with raw cabbage, carrots and onions. It’s crunchy and creamy.

And it just wouldn’t be a real southern meal without some traditional southern slaw as a side dish to accompany some Southern BBQ or fried chicken.

If you’re a coleslaw fan and fanatic, you could have slaw with every meal! Thing about slaw is that you can make it entirely your own.

And if you’re bored with the traditional, you can get as exotic as you want with it.

Go way farther south - south of the border that is - and enjoy a Mexican-inspired slaw that complements any Mexican meal - tacos, quesadillas, burritos - you name it. Y’all can have the beans and rice – I’m going for some Mexican slaw with lime and cilantro dressing.

And add some jalapeno slices for spicy lovers and we’re in business!

If you’re eating Asian food, you can enjoy a side of Asian slaw or give your typical all-American burgers an Asian-inspired twist. There’s something appealing about pairing flavors of toasted sesame oil, garlic, ginger, cilantro and green onions with sizzling beef that really hits the spot! Or try it with a steak or beef stir-fry.

Tired of all the chopping? Yes, it can get tiresome – and messy! So instead, buy your veggies pre-chopped, in a bag, ready to top off with your fav dressing. If you’re a short-cut taker, have had a hard day at work or are just plain lazy, this is an ideal pick for a quick fix.

On a GF diet or a totally-devoted vegan or vegetarian?

Coleslaw is the veggie-plentiful dish for you. You can even use vegan mayo in your dressing. Try some slaw atop your next veggie/boca burger or over your poke or Buddha bowl.

SUSAN’S SIMPLY SWEET SOUTHERN SLAW

Here is a recipe for my Simply Sweet Southern Slaw by a sweet southern girl that I hope y’all will enjoy! It has just the right balance of flavors (sweet, acidic, salty and peppery). You can make it more colorful by adding in red cabbage. I like to use a medley of green, red and Napa cabbages and, of course, carrots to give it more color. You can try this recipe with the vegetables finely minced, shredded, diced or more roughly chopped into bigger chunks – discover what your fav is. And, depending on taste buds (they’ll tell you what to add in and how much) you can stick with super sweet (with stevia, honey or maple syrup) or tweak it tart and tangy (with apple cider vinegar or lemon juice). Simply chop, mix and enjoy!

Ingredients: Cabbage (green, red and/or Napa) chopped (however roughly or finely) Carrots chopped (however roughly or finely) Onion, minced Pickles (bread and butter is best) or sweet relish Mayonnaise or vegan mayo Mustard (Dijon or yellow) Apple cider vinegar or lemon juice Stevia (powder or liquid) Salt & pepper

84 | ForsythWoman.com

Tired of the traditional version of cabbage and veggies you always have? Try adding in a fruit like apples. This healthy choice adds just the right amount of crispy crunch. Apples also taste delightfully tart and tangy and blend well with dried cranberries and slivered almonds.

APPLE SLAW

Ingredients: Apples Cabbage Carrots Green onions/red onion Dried cranberries Slivered almonds Maple syrup Apple Cider Vinegar Tahini Freshly ground black pepper Directions: Chop, mix and enjoy.

Recipe adapted from: simple-veganista. com/easy-applecoleslaw-recipe

ASIAN-INSPIRED SLAW

Ingredients: Shredded veggies (try cabbages, carrots, bell peppers, sweet peppers, snow peas, broccoli slaw, Brussels sprouts, etc.)

Green onions Edamame Cilantro (or parsley or mint) Ginger root 3 Tablespoons EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil) 1 Tablespoon toasted sesame oil ¼ cup rice wine vinegar 3 Tablespoons honey (or maple syrup) 1 Tablespoon soy sauce (or coconut aminos) 1 garlic clove, finely minced ¾ Tablespoon grated ginger ½ teaspoon sea salt ½ teaspoon chili flakes Directions: Chop and mix ingredients, then top with toasted sesame seeds.

Recipe adapted from feastingathome.com/asian-slaw

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July 2020 | 85

Writers Who Read North Carolina Authors

North Carolina is home to many famous artists, musicians, athletes, and actors.

Andy Griffith, Julianne Moore, Luke Combs, Doc Watson, and Michael Jordan are a few of the numerous people who were born and/or lived in the Tarheel State.

Another claim to fame our home state has are the many authors who have created best-selling novels and classic tales. Cold Mountain, At First Sight, and A Home on the Field are all written by North Carolina based authors. Let’s celebrate their writings by taking a look and a read at the novels this month.

COLD MOUNTAIN

AT FIRST SIGHT

by Charles Frazier

by Nicholas Sparks

Set at the end of the Civil War, W.P. Inman is a wounded Confederate Army deserter. The Battle of Petersburg causes Inman to second guess his ability as a soldier and return home. After walking for months, he returns home to the woman he loves, Ada Monroe. During the war, Ada moved from Charleston to a farm near Cold Mountain, North Carolina, which is part of the Blue Ridge Mountains.

The hope of seeing Ada again is the reason Inman deserted the Army and the war. Charles Frazier’s Cold Mountain was first published in 1997 and shot to the New York Times BestSeller List. The novel switches between Inman and Ada’s time together and flashbacks from the war and his travels back home. During his journey, readers learn that Inman spent time with bounty hunters, slaves, witches, and more as he discovers a South that has been permanently changed by the war. Cold Mountain is a perfect mix of romance, war, and a man’s journey that many readers have come to love.

From past articles of “Writers Who Read,” you may have discovered that I am a fan of Nicholas Sparks.

I can devour one of his books in no time. One of my favorites is At First Sight. This novel is the sequel to Sparks’ other novel, True Believer. In the first story, readers are introduced to Jeremy Marsh and Lexie Darnell.

Jeremy is a New Yorker who moved to the small town of Boone Creek, North Carolina. Now, in At First Sight, Jeremy and Lexie are newly married and awaiting the arrival of their daughter.

Everything is going well until mysterious and unsettling emails are sent to Jeremy. These emails bring up old and new challenges and troubles in the couple’s marriage. Through the course of the novel, readers are taken on a journey of love, discovery, fears about marriage and parenthood, and overcoming those obstacles. Like all Nicholas Sparks books, there is a twist at the end with one of the characters.

Yet, readers are given a happy ending to a great book.

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BY MEGAN TAYLOR

A HOME ON THE FIELD:

How One Championship Soccer Team Inspires Hope for the Revival of Small Town America

by Paul Cuadros Published in 2006 by TIME reporter Paul Cuadros, A Home on the Field tells the story of an immigrant soccer team and their coach becoming community heroes in the town of Siler City, North Carolina. The city has become home to many immigrants from Latin American countries who have escaped their old lives for the American dream. However, being accepted and recognized in the small town has many challenges and culture clashes. To help with the struggle, Cuadros founded a youth soccer team at a highly Hispanic populated public high school in the area. The players were often overlooked by white soccer teams. Cuadros set out on a mission to show the young teammates they could do more than only working in the nearby poultry plants.

In addition, he wanted to give them the opportunity to finish high school and understand that college could be a reality for them. To do this, Cuadros found an avenue for the boys to be accepted and to fit in, and that was through playing soccer. Through faith, trust, hard work, and loyalty, Cuadros and his team overcame all the obstacles thrown their way and made it to the state championships. A Home on the Field is an inspirational story right for all ages.

North Carolina authors have written hundreds of books in numerous genres. You can’t go wrong with adding any of them to your must-read list.

iHeart Radio

July 2020 | 87

A Garden Legacy

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

When Dean and I moved to North Carolina late in 2017, we bought a house sight unseen. Well, not exactly, 100% unseen, as the real estate listing was up on one of the computers from the moment we went online in the morning until we shut down at night. We looked at that house thousands of times, pining for a big change and keeping hope alive by envisioning ourselves there. Our awesome realtor, Betty Jones, orchestrated a detailed virtual walk -through and we were giddy.

“Measure the wall, please. Yes, that wall.

The painting has to fit.”

Dean’s masterpiece, “Peonies” would just barely fit onto the space.

We were sold. We left Connecticut on a leap and a prayer, determined that we would build something good here, understanding that it was on us to do so. Having previously lived in two antique 19th century homes, we were tickled to be getting something “new”: a 20th century, 1968 brick ranch house. I had always wanted to live in a former church, or, short of that, a brick house. This one fit the bill: Dean would paint to his heart’s content on the lower level, while I turned the dining room into a cool office, and the living room into my version of a woman’s “drawing room.” I had earned the right to indulge myself a little and felt no need to explain or apologize.

Outside, there was the perfect area for an herb garden, a place where I could experience the unique healing that comes from digging deeply into mother earth. I was in heaven. But what to do about that area along the fence, the one with the three almost-dead trees, decayed leaves and persistent weeds? We had a clear sight line to it from our back “veranda” and it looked nothing short of neglected and unloved.

Time passed quickly, consumed with so many other things having to do with setting up a new life, making a living, and reaching out for community. It was community that helped me to believe in and to rescue that lonely expanse of nothingness, otherwise known as an eyesore. It all started last spring, when I started to talk about it. “Hey, when you’re cleaning out your garden this year, if you have anything you plan to toss, let me know.”

I told six women. Six women responded. They brought a few hostas to yoga and, after class we moved them from one car to another. They dragged a full wheelbarrow of irises, creeping Jenny, and something else from three houses up.

They pulled a black contractor bag filled with chocolate mint and day lilies down my driveway. They walked over with a stone elephant to preside over the reclaimed space and to remind me of my sister. They invited me to bring my gloves and trowel to dig up ivy, daffodils, and Lenten Rose. They texted: “Come by when u can for those large plants with the red blooms. I’ve dug them up for you.”

My garden doesn’t look like much, not yet. It is coming together the way that community does: it evolves. It surprises. It has successes and its share of mishaps and missteps. But it is always well-intentioned and hopeful. It’s a garden legacy worth sharing, just as those plants were: a story that is part of the story of this house. At its heart, it’s about women supporting women the way that we do. It’s about women understanding the power of small contributions to change everything by creating friendships, community, and yes, earthy offerings that help to turn an unseen house into a home.

88 | ForsythWoman.com

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BY DAVE MCCONNELL

TIPS TO KEEP RUNNING SAFELY & STILL HAVE FUN

During this time, when gyms and fitness centers are closed, running has become a popular form of exercise for both men and women of all ages. It is beneficial to their health, requires no training, and can be accomplished without equipment. Unfortunately, something so natural comes with a high rate of injury, as high as 37% yearly for the typical runner. Health care providers have tried to identify an accurate set of risk factors for running injuries, but with little success. Most say that age, gender, height, weight, and running experience are not related to running injuries, with the exception of more stress fractures in female runners (sorry, ladies). Several studies have investigated differences in anatomic alignment between injury-free runners and those prone to overuse injuries, also without concrete conclusions on why injuries occur in some and not others. And then some researchers consider all running injuries as “overuse” or training error problems resulting from too many miles, too fast a pace, running on the wrong surface, or injuries resulting from improper training. All these arguments deserve some attention.

First, let’s define “overuse injury.” An overuse injury is an injury of the musculoskeletal system resulting from the combined fatigue effect over a period of time beyond the capabilities of a specific anatomical structure that has been stressed. When repetitive forces, such as the impact experienced during running, are applied repeatedly to a muscle, tendon, or bone, injury can occur if sufficient rest between stresses does not occur. Specifically, a running overuse injury can be defined as a musculoskeletal ailment attributed to running that causes a restriction of running speed, distance, duration, or frequency for at least one week.

Half of running injuries occur in the knee. The most common knee complaints in runners are patella pain (pain in the knee cap), iliotibial band friction syndrome (pain on the side of the knee), and meniscal injuries (pain under the knee joint). Achilles tendinitis and shin splints account for 40% of running injuries. The fact that 90% of running injuries occur at or below the knee suggests a pattern that can be identified and predictive of overuse injuries if researchers keep looking.

90 | ForsythWoman.com

Training variables that are linked to running injury include running distance, training intensity (speed), rapid increases in weekly running distance or intensity, and stretching habits.

Increasing running distance or speed too aggressively can lead to structural damage (inflammation, strain, sprain, tearing) if some other variable of the workout is not adjusted. If the distance is increased, then speed or amount of incline could be decreased to avoid injury. Gradual increases make sense!

Some studies relate stretching prior to running with injury prevention, especially stretching hamstring muscles. Achilles stretching is also a good idea, especially for older runners.

One variable that can be influenced by the runner is hip strength. Studies have found that weakness in the gluteus medius muscle (the muscle that moves your leg out to the side) can increase stress on the leg while running, and is found in runners with iliotibial band syndrome.

A 6-week strengthening program for the gluteus medius resulted in a significant improvement in strength and resolution of pain while running for those with iliotibial band syndrome. This is a factor that runners can influence through a cross-training program that includes strength training, not just running in isolation.

Do you run the risk of running injury? It is hard to say, but listen to your body and be smart about running progression; stretch before and after running; and, if possible, implement a strengthening program for weak hip muscles. These are simple exercises that can be done without weights by simply doing 30-50 leg lifts to the side and back (keep the leg straight) several times a week. There are many benefits from running, but it can also put us out of commission and even lead to surgical procedures. The best advice is to be smart, be safe, listen to your body, and have fun!

Crystal Cleaner in Clemmons

P R O F E SS I O N A L WO M E N O F W I N STO N - S A L E M Professional Development • Connections • Support

Grow Professionally Professional Women of Expand Your Network Winston-Salem Get Inspired www.pwws.org

Crystal Cleaner

Keeping that business look on-point. NEW LOCATION! Crystal Cleaner 3608 Clemmons Rd. Clemmons, NC 27012 336-712-3155

EW LO Dry Cleaning NCentral CATI

133 Oakwood Dr. Winston-Salem, NC 27103 336-725-3773

CrystalCleaner3155@gmail.com

Tea-Lation

ON!

PWWS ProfessionalWomen @proflwomenws

Chermak & Hanson

Experience • Quality • Customer Service Dr. David S. Chermak • Dr. John C. Hanson Orthodontics for Children & Adults

Never Underestimate the Power of a Smile!

WINSTON-SALEM 336-760-1491 • CLEMMONS 336-766-8244 • KING 336-983-4551

July 2020 | 91

KELLEY CARNALL

Kelley, Happy Birthday! You are clothed with strength and dignity. When you speak, your words are wise, and you give instructions with kindness. You carefully watch everything in your household. Your children stand and bless you. There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!… (words inspired by Proverbs 31). We love you!...Clayton, Emma, Addi, Aron, and Owen.

CAMDEN HUNTER JENNINGS

Congratulations to the Jennings family on their new addition! Camden Hunter arrived on May 31st, and has immediately captured the heart of everyone around her!

92 | ForsythWoman.com

LOGAN & PARKER PRYSIAZNIUK

Congratulations to new graduates, Logan and Parker Prysiazniuk! Their parents are incredibly proud of their accomplishments and look forward to encouraging and supporting them in the next steps of their respective journeys!

TIMOTHY & CAROL BRITTAIN Congratulations to newlyweds Timothy and Carol Brittain who were married in Key Largo on December 21, 2019!

CHARLOTTE LONG

“This is only the ending of the first chapter of a grand adventure.”

We are so proud and excited to see what UNC-Charlotte holds for you!

July 2020 | 93

Bingo Bango Soda Co.

Carolyn’s Baby Cakes

Moji Coffee + More mojicoffee.org

NEW HOURS. Mon-Friday 7-5pm and Saturday and Sunday 9-5pm

Rodan + Fields, Kelley Carnall

Carolyn’s Baby Cakes

336.682.1311 • CarolynsBabyCakes.net

Goin’ Postal

Chrystal Yates ChrystalYates.com

Singing Bird Salon

Finding God’s Grace EveryLife Day. My Grace-Full MyGraceFullLife.com

Read My Grace-Full Life each month in Forsyth Family!

94 | ForsythWoman.com

Join us for

Dawson Tree Service 345-2572 • 766-1169 • DawsonTreeService.com

Salem Detailing

GIRLS’ NIGHT All DAY OUT Thursday, July 23rd | 8am - 8pm 151 S. Stratford Road | Winston-Salem, NC 27104 336.724.9800 | MidtownCafeWS.com

Midtown Cafe & Dessertery Come enjoy our first all-day GNO event.

Take advantage of amazing specials throughtout the day and meet up with some friends you haven’t seen in a while, over a great breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks, or dessert. Whenever you come the time is right.

Mosquito Authority

Find information about food & drink specials on page 25.

Susanna Nunn Insurance Agency, Inc.

Kendall Bodford State Farm, Kendall Bodford

Insurance Account Representative

Bus 336-993-4600 Fax 336-993-4615 kendall@nunnagency.net

805 N Main St | Kernersville, NC Find us on Facebook Susanna Nunn State Farm Insurance

July 2020 | 95

SHANITA DOBSON

Shanita Dobson joined the Right at Home Winston-Salem team in April of 2016. Prior to joining Right at Home, Shanita worked for McKesson as an operations supervisor. Shanita has a bachelor’s degree in healthcare administration from Kaplan University and an associate degree in office system technologies from Forsyth Technical Community College. She has more than 18 years of experience in the medical and healthcare industry. Shanita firmly believes in continuing her education to better understand the newest treatments and best practices for managing diseases, such as Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s. In her free time, Shanita enjoys spending time with her husband and children, taking walks outdoors and traveling to watch her son play basketball with his AAU team.

MEIKA IMES

Meika Imes is the owner of 2:AM Photography as well as the community and member relations manager at Lewisville-Clemmons Chamber of Commerce. “Within the last three years, I have been able to turn my photography hobby into a photography business,” said Meika. “Several of our images have been used in local publications.” She is excited to join the Lewisville-Clemmons Chamber in her new role. She is a 2007 graduated of WinstonSalem State University with a degree in business management and financial services. She was also inducted into Beta Gamma Sigma & Beta Alpha Psi International Honor Societies while at WSSU. “During my free time, I enjoy photography, traveling, fishing and praise dancing at my church,” said Meika.

“I am married to my high school sweetheart, Austin, and we have two handsome boys, AJ and Michael.”

TONI TRONU

Toni Tronu is the owner and curator of Visuel Index, the only art gallery in the country that carries art from all 50 states. “It took me two years to accomplish, and I’m excited to offer this diverse selection of handmade goods to The City of Arts and Innovation,” said Toni.

“Since opening in August of 2017, I have been named the runner up best art gallery in the Triad for 2018 and 2019. I am proud to be listed among the Weatherspoon Art Museum, SECCA and Reynolda House.” She has a BFA-Photography degree from UNCG. Toni’s hobbies include musical collaborations with friends, doting on her plants, reading, aimless adventures, art shows, thrifting and home projects. “A huge thanks to my parents and grandparents for showing me how important small family businesses are and teaching me how to run one. Also, to my husband Robert for encouraging my entrepreneurial spirit and believing in my dreams,” said Toni.

96 | ForsythWoman.com

HOLLI WARD

Holli Ward is the owner and geriatric care manager of Age With Grace, LLC. She has National Certified Case Manager designation which allows for national and regional memberships in Aging Life Care Association and the Commission for Case Management. She has a master’s degree in Gerontology from UNCG. When not at work, she enjoys volunteering at the Shepherd’s Center of Greater WS, Novant Medical Center, UNCG Health and Human Sciences as an alumni board member, AARP and Forsyth Futures as well as spending time with her husband, Richard, her daughter, Julie, her grandson, Cooper, her dogs, Cady and Elvis and her cat, Stella.

NICOLA ROACH Nicola Roach is the CEO of 6th Sense Health Wellness Center in Winston-Salem. Her business specializes in “massage, acupuncture, healthy weight loss and gain with nutrition counseling.” She has almost 20 years of experience in managing and operating a business. She attended community college at St. Ann Jamaica as well as the Natural Touch School of Massage Therapy. In her spare time, she enjoys gardening, listening to Soca music (a kind of Caribbean music that originated in Trinidad and Tobago) and spending quiet time with her family.

INTRODUCING TAKE-N-BAKE MEALS

Get a restaraunt-quality meal served hot at home. Choose some of our favorites for an amazing dinner tonight!

Wine Merchants

Chicken Pie . . . . . . . . . . . . $12 with Cheddar Biscuits

Butcher’s Pie . . . . . . . . . . . $12 with Cheddar Biscuits

Mama’s Mac-N-Cheese . . $10 60o South Salmon . . . . . . $16 with Veggies

Whole Poulet Rouge . . . . $20 with Veggies

If you are interested in submitting yourself or someone you know for a future Woman on the Move profile, visit our online application link tinyurl.com/ForsythWomanWOM.

Soup (Quart) . . . . . . . . . . . $10 Veggie Love . . . . . . . . . . . $10

Vin205.com (336) 765-8175 205 S. Stratford Rd. Suite N | Winston-Salem, NC 27103 WineMerchantsVin205

winemerchantsbistro

July 2020 | 97

Conversations with Your BFF How Do I Deal with My

BY REBECCA COOPER

Partner’s Immaturity?

I know you’ve heard ‘You don’t have to be perfect to be in a relationship,’ but you and your partner do have to be capable of the same level of maturity and moving in the same direction with your relationship.

If you’ve got a new love and are thinking, ‘This is fun, but when real issues or problems arise, will we address them on the same maturity level?’ I’m so glad you asked!

WHAT IS MATURITY?

Maturity isn’t perfection; it is being ready and capable of doing what grown people have to do to make a relationship work for a lifetime and not just during the fun times.

No one gets through life unscathed, so choose a partner who will be by your side in good and bad times.

It’s easy to enjoy vacations and celebrations together, but when push comes to shove, knowing your partner will hold your hand and see you through in the difficult times is important.

HANG ON TO YOU

Often in relationships, we let go of ourselves completely. We adapt and change so much that we forget our true self and identity, and when that relationship is over, we are left thinking, how were we before this relationship? When you’re in a relationship, you may pick up on what your partner wants or has wanted in the past that they didn’t receive in a previous relationship, and conform to a behavior or a belief that at your true core you don’t believe or hold dear. In our lives, after a few experiences, we finally realize how much exactly we would change to keep the relationship healthy; you both should try and do things equally for each other. It’s always best to hang on to the real you, so if the relationship should end, you can find yourself. Never forget the importance of self-worth.

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WORKING ON VS. EMBRACING

Once you realize your true selfworth and value, you know the things that you may need to work on and the things about yourself that you should embrace, whether your partner likes those characteristics or not. You are mature enough to accept the reality of life, meaning, when someone gives their opinion of you, you take it positively; if it’s negative in nature and not true from your perspective, you are comfortable enough to avoid it or not let it affect you at all. If it is something that you agree with, you start to work on it and are truly thankful for that person who helps you discover this about yourself.

NEVER, EVER, COMPROMISE ON YOUR BELIEFS

In our 20s, we have a tendency to be a bit wishy-washy in our beliefs and can let others sway us one way or another. I remember dating guys who didn’t share the same religious beliefs that I shared when I was in my early 20s. Because I wasn’t firmly grounded, I researched their beliefs and even attended religious services with them to see if their ideas were close to mine or if I could co-exist in theirs. I have to admit, all those relationships came to an end, because I was more mature in my faith than I realized. I wished them well, and we parted ways. As you age, you realize that your beliefs and opinions matter, if not for others, for you. In order to stay true to yourself, you need to hold on to those beliefs and not let your beliefs wobble just because someone challenges them. Your beliefs make you who you are.

When you set out on life’s journey with someone, it helps to share as much in common as you can. It is true that opposites attract, but at your cores, sharing a maturity level and a belief system is as important as being physically attracted to someone. The more you have in common at a deep level, the stronger the bond when times get tough.

DINING ROOM NOW OPEN

farm fresh meets sophisticated dining TUESDAY Half Price Wine by the Glass WEDNESDAY Half price Whiskey & Bourbon THURSDAY $3 Off Martinis SUNDAY $5 Absolut Pepper Bloody Marys & $4 Mimosas

321 WEST FOURTH STREET | WINSTON SALEM | 336.448.1714 | WWW.JEFFREYADAMSWS.COM TUESDAY-THURSDAY 4pm-9pm | FRIDAY - SATURDAY 4pm-10pm | SUNDAY 4pm-9pm

Young Cardinal Cafe & Co

Curbside Pickup and To-Go-Service Browse our special menu at YoungCardinalWS.com and call us at 336-448-5188 to place your order.

424 4th Street NW, Winston-Salem (formally Hutch & Harris)

HOURS: Sunday 8am - 3pm | Monday Closed | Tuesday - Thursday 8am - 8pm | Friday - Saturday 8am - 9pm July 2020 | 99

Marzano Captial Group

Happy Independence Day

336-766-0464 · marzanocapitalgroup.com

WEALTH MANAGEMENT · RETIREMENT & INSURANCE PLANNING · EXECUTIVE & EMPLOYEE BENEFITS · 529 PLANS FOR COLLEGE Securities offered through LPL Financial Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment advice offered through Independent Advisor Alliance, a registered investment advisor. Independent Advisor Alliance and Marzano Capital Group are separate entities from LPL Financial.

100 | ForsythWoman.com