FW Feb 2020

February 2020 February 2020 | 1

Wake Forest Baptist Health

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Windsor Jewelers

February 2020 | 3

Piedmont Federal Savings Bank

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Restoration Med Spa

February 2020 | 5

Imagine retirement in a friendly, retreat-like setting situated on forty-six wooded acres while being only minutes away from Retirement the amenities of a larger city. Brookridge Brookridge offers a thriving Independent Living Community that includes an active lifestyle through engaging activities ranging from yoga and water aerobics to art classes and trips to the theater. Our location and lifestyle, combined with the predictability of Life Care, make us the most unique community in the area. You will feel secure knowing that all levels of care are available to you on our campus at competitive costs.

1199 Hayes Forest Drive Winston-Salem, NC 27106 | (336) 759-1044 | www.brookridgecommunity.org

6 | ForsythWoman.com

No winter lasts forever, the spring will always come.

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February 2020 | 7

Twin City Fashion Week

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February 2020 | 9

The View From This Side FEBRUARY 2020 Love is in the air! As we launch our February issue, I want to start by saying that we genuinely love our advertising partners, and we love our readers! Thanks to YOU, we get to spend our days doing what we love!

This month, I want to wish a very special Happy Birthday to two special people in my life. First – my mom! We celebrated my mom’s 80th birthday in grand style – just as she lives her life every day! My mom is an amazing woman and I’m so blessed by her!

I also want to celebrate my daughter, Brooke!

Brooke is (GULP!) turning 30 at the end of this month! HOW is that possible?

I cannot believe I’ve blinked, and three decades have flown by. I don’t know what I’d do without her! She’s taking our family business to levels I never dreamed of, including a new Forsyth Magazines Podcast! Be sure to tune in! I’m so proud of her!

If you haven’t met him yet, the dog pictured with Brooke and me is my granddog, Carter.

Tim and I came dangerously close to adopting a dog, but in the end, a granddog was the best solution. We are happy spoiling him on a part-time basis, and it works great for both Brooke’s busy lifestyle as well as ours. Isn’t he adorable?

This month has been extra busy as we’re also releasing our annual publication, Forsyth Community! Please check it out! It’s a celebration of life in Clemmons and Lewisville and developed in conjunction with the Village of Clemmons and the Lewisville-Clemmons Chamber of Commerce! It serves as a residential guide, relocation guide, and visitor’s guide! Be sure you pick up a copy!

Thanks again for reading!

We appreciate all of you and until next month…

Happy Reading!

Until next time,

Keela

PUBLISHER

Keela Johnson Keela@ForsythMags.com

EDITOR

ADVERTISING Advertising@ForsythMags.com

EDITORIAL DIRECTOR

Brooke Eagle Brooke@ForsythMags.com

Vonda Henderson

EDITOR’S ASSISTANT & EVENT SPECIALIST

Jodie Brim Photography

Madison Hill

SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

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ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Brooke Eagle Heather Spivey Adele Casanova

COVER PHOTOGRAPHER CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS JEJ Photos Jodie Brim Photography Photo Artistry by Melinda

CONTENT EDITORS Kim Beane Meghan Corbett (Assistant)

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Meghan Corbett | Denise Heidel | Carolyn Peterson

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Keith Biggs | Jen Brown | Adele Casanova | Rebecca Cooper June DeLugas | Lisa Doss | Martie Emory | Tabi Falcone Sarah Fedele | Julie Fritz | Denise Heidel | Vonda Henderson Taryn Jerez | Jean Marie Johnson | Debbie Lanier Brittany Leak | Ava Lewandowski | Sara Migliarese Olivia Orme | Sharon Reid | Rosey | Susanm Schabacker Lauren Sephton | Al Seymour | Megan Taylor | Sara Wiles

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presented for information and entertainment only, and may not necessarily reflect the views of Forsyth Woman. Specifically, Forsyth Woman in no way endorses any claim associated with health and/or well being with respect to any particular person. We disclaim all warranties, express or implied, including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. We will not be held responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any loss or damage that is caused or alleged to have been caused in connection with the use of, or reliance on, any content in this magazine. Forsyth Woman reserves the right to deny any advertisement or listing that does not meet Forsyth Woman standards. Submissions are welcome but unsolicited materials are not guaranteed to be returned. Forsyth Woman assumes no responsibility for information, products, services or statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. ©2005 by Forsyth Woman, Inc.

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Hip Chics Boutique

February 2020 | 11

F E AT U R E S 26 46 50 106 50 COVER STORY Sharon Reid, DDS PA & Tyler Wynne, DDS: For the Love…& Fun…Of Dentistry!

48 When We NEED to Apologize 54 Coping with Aging Parents 70 Welcome to 2020 from Forsyth Community Magazine 98 How to Become a Morning Person (Yes, It is Possible) 124 Level Up in 2020: An Evening of Self Care & Self Love

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18 Keeping it Real 36 Dear June 58 Making Dollars, Making $ense 62 ReDESIGNS by Ava 68 NEW! In the Spotlight 102 Recipe 104 Hustle & Heart 108 To Your Health 110 Writers Who Read 126 Calendar of Events 130 Conversations with Your BFF

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Medi-Weightloss

February 2020 | 15

Heart Lessons

BY SARAH FEDELE

Betty Speaks, health services coordinator for the City of Winston-Salem, says she has learned a lot. She is not talking about her nursing education or the lessons she has learned throughout her 40-year career as a registered nurse. But her own body has given her some life lessons that she shares with other women in our community.

“I have a cardiac condition called supraventricular tachycardia, which means that occasionally my heart would race out of control,” shared Betty. “I had learned all the little tricks to help make it stop, and over the years, they had been effective.”

life. I also increased my walking. I even lost 10 pounds. These things have made a huge difference in my life.

Decision number 4.

Unfortunately, Betty’s heart story doesn’t end there. She lost her husband Stephen seven years ago following complications from open-heart surgery. “We were high school sweethearts. In 38 years together, we built a life, raised our children, and worked in our church and community to make a difference,” shared Betty. “I continue to rebuild my life without him. Heart disease is a culprit that steals the dreams you have of growing old together, meeting his grandchildren, and walking our daughter down the aisle.”

However, one morning, while home alone in November of 2015, she had an episode that lasted over 35 minutes.

“Eventually, I got very dizzy, and I felt as though I was going to pass out. So, here I am, a trained nurse for over 40 years. Did I call 911? Oh no, I lay down on the couch and propped my feet up with pillows just to keep from passing out. And I laid there until the racing stopped,” Betty shakes her head and laughs at herself a little. Decision number 1.

Heart disease is the No. 1 killer of both men and women in the

“When I could collect myself, do you think I called my doctor and said ‘Doc, this is something I hadn’t had before?’

Or even drive myself to the ER?” Betty asked. “Oh no, I got up, got dressed, and drove myself to work. As if the City of Winston-Salem can’t operate without me.” Decision number 2. “My decisions could have ended tragically if I had passed out while driving.

I could have killed myself or taken an innocent person with me,” she reflected.

When Betty got to work and sat down at her desk, the racing started again. “This time, it came on with a vengeance. My secretary who was talking to me at the time said, ‘I could tell that something was wrong. It seemed as though you were looking through me.’ She said she could tell I was leaving her,” remembers Betty. She slumped over on her desk, sweating profusely and nauseated. “When my medical staff said they were going to call 911, do you think I said, ‘Oh yes, it’s time to call?’” Betty mused. “Oh no, I said, ‘Wait - wait - wait, it will stop.’ Thank goodness, they didn’t listen to me and they called EMS immediately.” Decision number 3.

When she got to the hospital, she was treated with IV medications that stopped the racing. Then in a few weeks, she had an ablation procedure. During this procedure, they were able to find the place on her heart causing the arrhythmia and deaden that place of the heart to stop the erratic heart rhythms.

“After I was officially released from my cardiologist, I knew it was time for me to make some lifestyle changes. I started eating more fruits and vegetables, and a lot of those came out of my daddy’s garden. I also started drinking more water than I have ever drunk in my entire

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United States. However, heart disease and stroke are up to 80% preventable. “My decisions on that day could have had a tragic end, but thanks to my friends and co-workers, I’m still here to share my story and to help other women take heart issues seriously, listen to their bodies, and take the time to focus on their own health so they can make the best decisions. As women, we need to allow ourselves to put our health first. It’s the only way we can continue helping others,” said Betty.

Betty Speaks served as a Forsyth County Go Red Woman in 2017. She continues to share her story to help other women and their families raise awareness about heart issues and the painful loss that heart disease can cause. Novant Health is proud to be the American Heart Association’s Life Is Why and Go Red for Women Sponsor in Forsyth County, celebrating all women in Forsyth County, supporting women wherever they may be in their journey, and encouraging women to put their health first.

American Heart Association

February 2020 | 17

Keeping It Real YOUR BEST LIFE

BY DR. DEBBIE LANIER

Most people want to live their best life; they just don’t want to change anything to get there. (Honestly, I have an aversion to change.) But if we keep doing what we’ve always done, we’ll get what we’ve always got. Any-who…if change is out of the question for you, you might want to turn the page.

“Ignore it, and it will go away.” It’s our motto when we encounter repercussions we don’t want to face. Perhaps we’re doing something we know down deep in our souls is not right. It gnaws in our gut, yet we find a thousand reasons to make it make sense in our head. A great mentor, Chuck Colson, told me years ago, “We ALL have the infinite capacity to justify our actions.” (Guilty! A thousand times over, this is the reason for my messes!)

This sounds eerily like Israel’s response to the Prophet Jeremiah.

God’s people had deafened themselves to God’s counsel because it was nothing they wanted to hear. They were bound and determined to do what they wanted, when they wanted, however they wanted to do it. In fact, the Scriptures say that God’s People were living so far from His ways that they behaved WORSE than the pagan nations who inhabited the land before God gave it to them. (2 Kings 21:9) Now that’s off the tracks!

Every time Jeremiah heard from God and tried to speak into their situation, His People kept finding individuals, supposedly speaking on God’s behalf, who would tell them just what they wanted to hear. (May I NEVER be that person!) These phony “prophets” predicted peace and prosperity completely contrary to Jeremiah’s legit warnings of real trouble ahead on their stubborn course.

But this is it, folks: denying the Truth never changes the Truth. If God says so, it IS so Every. Single. Time! His Way Works!

Our wrongdoing never goes away just because we deny its existence. It’s not God who needs to change; we do!

If we ever TRULY tasted the love of God, we would never hesitate to move where He leads, to live like He designed us to live. We would understand He desires our good more than we crave it for ourselves. He’s not waiting to see if we’ll mess up. He’s hovering close to help us move toward every good thing He plans for us.

People often talk about the wrath of God like He gets a belly full of our nonsense, then rushes out of the gate to squash us when He’s had enough. Where did we get this distorted thinking? The wrath of God is when our loving Father simply steps back. He takes His Hands off a thing because we’ve relentlessly insisted to do it our way. We don’t want or need His input. So, Abba gives us what we think we want until . . . we don’t! THAT’S the wrath of God! Friends, wherever you are today, this doting Father hovers near.

He longs to see your life thrive. It’s been His dream for you from the beginning. If you feel stuck or frustrated with your course, stop where you are. Don’t keep doing things your way. Try His! I know, I know. You hate losing control. (I GET IT!) But once you relinquish your illusion of autonomy, you realize you never really had control anyway. It was all fantasy. Resting in His embrace, following where He leads, aligning your life with His Word, Will, and Way…this is truly YOUR BEST LIFE! #tryit #yourbestlifeawaits

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For comments or prayer, contact Dr. Lanier at PastorDebbie@HopeCommunityChurch.tv.

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151 S. STRATFORD ROAD | WINSTON-SALEM, NC 27104 | 336.724.9800 | MIDTOWNCAFEWS.COM February 2020 | 19

Dr. Ashley Rickey from Novant Health Vein Specialists

Answers Frequently Asked Questions about Varicose Veins & Pregnancy Novant Health Vein Specialists: Varicose Veins and Pregnancy – What You Need To Know Dr. Ashley Rickey explains why your risk of varicose veins increases during pregnancy and answers your questions.

If you are pregnant or are considering becoming pregnant, you probably have a number of questions you want to ask your doctors. One question Dr. Ashley Rickey of Novant Health Vein Specialists (NHVS) says she hears most frequently in her vein clinics is, “Do I risk getting varicose veins during my pregnancy?” Speaking as a varicose vein treatment specialist, Dr. Rickey says that her short answer to this question is “Yes.” But her complete answer is longer, and a mix of good news and bad news. Let’s find out more.

Women who don’t have varicose veins before they get pregnant have a 60%–70% chance of giving birth without developing them. But that leaves 30%–40% of women who do develop varicose veins during pregnancy. And if you get varicose veins during your first pregnancy, you are more likely to develop them again during later pregnancies.

That’s the bad news.

The good news is that most varicose veins that develop during pregnancy go away naturally without any need for treatment, usually within three months of giving birth. Additional good news is that if you do get varicose veins, Dr. Rickey and the other vascular specialists at NHVS can treat them successfully, both during your pregnancy and after you give birth. In this article, we’ll answer a few of the questions we’re asked most often about this subject.

“WHAT MAKES VARICOSE VEINS MORE FREQUENT DURING PREGNANCY?”

When you are pregnant, the volume of blood flowing through your veins increases. This puts more pressure on the walls of the veins, weakening them. Simultaneously, a flood of hormones in your bloodstream causes the already-weakened veins to expand. The weight of the baby also puts direct pressure on the vena cava (the largest vein in the body), and on the smaller veins it supplies in the legs, ankles, and feet. All of these factors increase your varicose vein risk.

“ARE VARICOSE VEINS DANGEROUS, OR MERELY UNATTRACTIVE?”

In most cases, varicose veins are not considered a medical danger. Negative symptoms associated with varicose veins during pregnancy are usually limited to muscle cramps or aching in the legs, swollen feet and ankles, itchy skin in the lower legs, and occasional bouts of Restless Leg Syndrome, a feeling of “creepy crawlies” in the legs.

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“WHAT CAN I DO TO LESSEN THE SYMPTOMS OF VARICOSE VEINS?”

Dr. Rickey at NHVS starts by suggesting that you try not to sit or stand for long periods of time. Get up and walk around at least once an hour, and consider putting a small stool under your feet to elevate your legs.

Maintaining a healthy weight and getting enough regular exercise can help. So can wearing medical-grade compression stockings during the day to promote more healthy blood flow.

“SHOULD I SEEK TREATMENT IF I DEVELOP VARICOSE VEINS WHILE PREGNANT?”

If you experience negative symptoms associated with the varicose veins, it’s a good idea to consult with a varicose vein expert in Winston-Salem or Kernersville like Dr. Rickey.

If you develop varicose veins and find that they don’t go away after you give birth, despite what you may have heard, you don’t have to wait until you are finished having children to think about vein removal. Having them removed may even help you prevent more varicose veins during future pregnancies.

So if you are pregnant or planning to become pregnant, and want to find out more about varicose veins, give the vein experts at Novant Health Vein Specialists a call at 336-276-0776 or schedule an appointment online at salemveins.com. Conveniently located at 2827 Lyndhurst Avenue, Suite 206 in Winston-Salem and 1710 Kernersville Medical Parkway, Suite 202 in Kernersville. Dr. Rickey would be happy to answer any additional questions you might have.

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February 2020 | 21

STATE OF THE ART SKIN CARE

BY ADELE CASANOVA

As the nation’s number one provider of skin care services*, Massage Envy announces the new breakthrough Acne Facial Series Powered by Proactiv®.

Massage Envy is combining the most well know acne products in America with the knowledgeable and compassionate services of each franchisees’ trained estheticians.

Acne is the most common skin condition affecting some fifty million Americans each year . Acne sufferers have been shown to experience emotional stress and diminished self-esteem. Massage Envy now offers a comprehensive facial series and at home treatment program to help address the skin care concerns of acne sufferers, which in turn can help with easing stress as well. No longer does an acne sufferer need to feel alone in their quest for clear skin.

This affordable program consists of a six to 12-week esthetician-guided facial series during which acne sufferers are paired with caring, trained estheticians.

Personalized consultation precedes the customized facials so that different types of acne can be identified and treated successfully. As the series progresses, the esthetician adjusts the facial routines and product use to suit the individual’s needs. Healthy skin is achievable through targeted facial treatments followed by specifically recommended at home regime using the Proactiv+® 3-step system products . Facials are completed with Proactiv products along with Massage Envy’s proprietary CyMe™ products , a highly concentrated serum loaded with antioxidants to help soothe, nourish and hydrate the skin. This highly effective acne facial series is purchased outside of a Massage Envy membership. Massage Envy’s goal is to make this powerful combination of acne facial treatments and home-care acne products available to the millions of acne sufferers seeking expert advice and positive results.

Massage Envy offers facial treatments and products for all types of skin.

Facials are offered using products from Jan Marini® and Obagi®. A consultation with an experienced estheticians at a Massage Envy franchised location can help determine which customized facial and skin enhancing products are best suited for you. Clients can also purchase Jan Marini® and Obagi® products at Massage Envy for at home use to continue their recommended skin care regimen. Skincare services at Massage Envy also include MICRODERM INFUSION, which entails the delivery of precision-timed hydration technology during traditional microdermabrasion. Massage Envy also offers PCA SKIN®chemical peels that deliver dramatic results with little downtime revealing healthy, glowing skin.

Clients can experience a variety of additional enhancing treatments at Massage Envy as well, including Hand Exfoliating Treatment, Foot Exfoliating Treatment, Neck & Décolleté Treatment, Anti-Aging Eye Treatment and Lip Exfoliating Therapy. Consultation can help determine which of these relaxing, enhancing treatments would be best for you.

And let’s not forget about the amazing massage therapies at Massage Envy.

Regular massage has been shown to help you keep a clear mind while helping your body to relax. The trained, experienced massage therapists at Massage Envy franchised locations offer Trigger Point Therapy, Swedish Massage, Deep Tissue and Sports Massage as well as Total Body Stretch. And new at Massage Envy is Rapid Tension Relief, a customizable enhancement to address specific areas of muscle discomfort using a Rapid Tension Release massage device, focusing on up to 11 different target areas. This enhancement treatment can be a ten-minute enhancement to an existing service with your massage, or a full thirty-minute standalone session.

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Massage therapy can be personalized with Massage Envy’s own CyMe™ BOOST, a series of six highly concentrated serums loaded with antioxidants to help rejuvenate and soothe the skin. Each CyMe™ BOOST provides different added benefits like helping to remove pore clogging impurities, improving the skin’s appearance of firmness, or helping to enhance the skin’s natural luminance with hydration. The serums are combined with the Massage Envy antioxidant-rich massage lotion that helps deliver skin-enhancing benefits with vitamins A, C & E. If any of the CyMe™ BOOST enhanced lotion remains after your massage, you are invited to take it home and continue to enjoy its benefits!

Massage Envy, collectively through its franchised locations, is the largest provider of massage and skin care services in the nation. Professionalism, extensive training, quality products and services, combined with a warm, welcoming environment guarantees a positive experience with lasting results. Award winning Massage Envy locations in WinstonSalem have been owned and operated by Jeff and Amy Holmes since 2008.

Massage Envy, based in Scottsdale, Arizona, is a national franchisor and, does not independently own or operate any of the Massage Envy franchised locations nationwide. *The Massage Envy franchise network, collectively through its franchise locations, is the leading provider of therapeutic massage and skin care service. Massage Envy franchisees are, collectively, the largest employer of massage therapists and estheticians, with more than 35,000 dedicated wellness professionals that provide bestin-class service to over 1.65 million members. . For more information, visit www.massageenvy.com, or follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook at @MassageEnvy.

Massage Envy in Winston-Salem is located at 3350 Robinhood Road and 1271 Creekshire Way. Call (336) 774-8777 for the Robinhood Road location or (336)774-9994 for the Creekshire Way location.

Visit online at www.massageenvy.com Be sure to follow them on Twitter, Facebook Instagram, and YouTube.

Massage Envy

February 2020 | 23

Vic Khemsara, MD

Summit Eye Care

Show your eyes some love this Valentines Day. Keith Biggs, OD

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

– 1 Chronicles 16:34 24 | ForsythWoman.com

Laser Cataract Surgery • Dry Eye Center Glaucoma Treatment • Diabetic Treatment Multifocal Lens Implants • General Eye Exams

www.summiteyecare.net • www.facebook.com/SummitEyeCare 336.765.0960 • 3073 Trenwest Drive • Winston-Salem, NC 27103

Nutrient-Powered Hydration WHY ARE MY EYES SO RED? for your hair

BY KEITH BIGGS, O.D.

One of the most common complaints at Summit Eye Care involves the physical appearance of a patient’s eyes. Redness can occur for a number of different reasons, such as bacterial or viral conjunctivitis (pink eye), but the most common reason is dry eye disease. Dry eye disease is a chronic condition that results in inflammation within the eye, as well as along the eyelid margin.

Last month, we spoke about abnormal blood vessel growth, or ocular rosacea and how it can affect the eyelid margin. This inflammation can affect the glands in our eyelids, resulting in decreased oil production. When the eye has an insufficiency of the oil production, the tear film will evaporate, leading to burning, scratchy, itchy, and watery eyes. All of these symptoms can then result in redness of the inner and out eye.

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“So, what do I do about it?” Stay away from any eye drops that claim to “get the red out.” These types of drops have many negative side effects to the eye. If the eyes are red, it’s due to a reason. Don’t try to mask the issue – find the underlying cause and let’s solve it together!

Remember, redness that is associated with dry eye disease is a sign of the chronic nature of the disease. Treating this inflammation is of the utmost importance in order to return the eye to its normal functioning state. At our office, you will find the most advanced equipment and treatment options to help brighten your eyes and keep them that way!

Grassroots Salon

Summit Eye Care is Winston-Salem’s leading dry eye center and we take great pride in more effectively treating your exact type of dry eye. Using our specialized knowledge and diagnostic equipment, we are able to more efficiently treat your condition.

Call today to schedule an appointment. Join us next month as we continue our discussion on the most common type of dry eye disease, meibomian gland dysfunction.

3283 Robinhood Rd. (beside Freshmarket) 336-774-4777 | grassrootssalon.com @grassroots_aveda February 2020 | 25

Heart of the Matter

Trusted Care Keeps Go-Getter Going Strong Wendy Rash, a self-described “go-getter,” is no stranger to heart surgery. The Lewisville resident has had a number of procedures over the years to address her irregular heartbeat.

Now in her late 40s and on her third pacemaker, she has trusted her heart care to Wake Forest Baptist Health for more than 20 years. She has worked with the health system since the early 1990s, first as a nursing assistant and later as a flight nurse on the AirCare helicopter crew for about 20 years. She’s now a nurse practitioner in interventional radiology and still works with AirCare.

When she was diagnosed in 2018 with a heart valve that needed repair, she chose to have minimally invasive open-heart surgery, which was performed by Drs. Ted Kincaid, Tony Simmons and Patrick Whalen.

She chose that surgery because of its shorter recovery time. She knows Wake Forest Baptist offers the full range of cardiovascular care, from preventive to advanced and everything in between, and she understands what it means to provide the best care.

She says her background in medicine helped her grasp the importance of choosing a care team with specialized training who teach that care to others.

“I knew the Heart and Vascular Center was well-established and worked to build excellent relationships with their patients, and I knew the doctors would put my best interests first,” says Wendy, who first experienced heart issues in her mid-20s and got her first pacemaker at 31.

When she learned one of her heart valves would need to be replaced within months, she wanted to take care of it sooner rather than later.

“Mostly because of my activity level and the things that I do—lifting, chasing after my two dogs—I felt like I would have a better recovery path with minimally invasive surgery,” she says.

Her surgery was a success, and her follow-up treatment, from intensive care to the cardiac floor and through cardiac rehabilitation, exceeded her expectations.

“They were compassionate and understanding, yet pushed me to get up and out of bed when I didn’t think I could,” she says. “They have been amazing every step of the way. I owe them everything!”

Her recovery was exactly what she had hoped for—she was back at work 2½ weeks after surgery. She feels 100 percent better, with no symptoms, a higher energy level, increased endurance and no limitations.

“I wish I had done it sooner,” Wendy says.

“You don’t realize how bad you feel until you feel a whole lot better.”

PREVENTIVE CARDIOLOGY: AN EMERGING SUBSPECIALTY Signs of cardiovascular disease — the world’s leading cause of death — often go undetected until it is too late. A new center at Wake Forest Baptist Health, dedicated to the emerging subspecialty of preventive cardiology, aims to make a difference.

“Only half of people are fortunate enough to have signs and symptoms that suggest that they may have underlying cardiovascular disease before they have a catastrophic event,” says Michael D. Shapiro, DO, MCR, a board-certified cardiologist who is directing Wake Forest Baptist Health’s new Center for the Prevention of Cardiovascular Disease.

“The other half actually have a major event, such as heart attack or sudden cardiac death, as their first sign or symptom.”

Preventive cardiologists can evaluate apparently healthy individuals for their risk of heart disease and identify some of the earliest signs and/or risk for cardiovascular disease.

“We actually have good tools to do that now,” Shapiro says. Those tools include a range of new technology and diagnostic methods, such as advanced cardiac imaging, cutting-edge laboratory testing and genetics.

Preventative Cardiology: An Emerging Subspecialty For women, Sharpiro says there are several facts they should be aware of: • Heart disease is not a “man’s disease.” It kills 10 times as many women as breast cancer.

• At menopause, the risk for heart disease goes up for women and approaches that of men.

• Women sometimes have atypical symptoms, not necessarily the classic ones. These need to be evaluated by a provider to make sure they are not indicative of heart disease.

• Screening for early heart disease with imaging, such as a coronary artery calcium score, is just as effective in women as it is in men.

He says many deaths attributable to cardiovascular disease are easily preventable.

“If you can find who is at risk and you can offer them good options, both in terms of lifestyle changes and medical treatment,” Shapiro says, “it can go a long way toward preventing a lot of misery down the road.”

26 | ForsythWoman.com

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(336) 893-8178 | hakka-chow.com 615 Saint George Sq Ct | Winston-Salem, NC 27103 M-Th 11:30a - 9:30p | F 11:30a - 10p | Sa 12p - 10p | Su 12p - 9p (Right off Hanes Mall Blvd. across from the Wynnsong 12 Movie Theater)

Winner Best Asian

Winner Best Chinese

Finalist Best Sushi

February 2020 | 27

The Story Behind the Face

BY LAUREN SEPHTON

We often pass people in life and later find out about their survival through many difficulties.

Some choose to live life humbly with purpose, many struggle to overcome unique circumstances; some find the good and others find the bad in life. Whether a stranger or a friend, there’s a soul beneath the features. Did they choose their path in life, or are they just surviving each day as it comes?

As the tea kettle whistles and birds begin their morning chirp, a new chapter unfolds in our life’s story. Each good or bad circumstance, and the people we encounter will inevitably leave a mark in today’s chapter. Whether the mark is a moment of encouragement or a step in a new direction, it’s often difficult to filter the bad from invading our personal story. However, we can make an intentional decision to not be the bad in another’s life. Therefore, kindly and consciously proceed about this day knowing that your mark in someone’s life could hang on for several chapters or even the entirety of their book.

Past experiences have cultivated the thoughts behind our expressions and the impassioned emotions behind our feelings. We may not know a person’s name, nor their story, but there are many invisible chapters of life. Each person is uniquely designed and packaged with an everchanging life story. How a scar got below one’s eye could be an act of heroism, an accident, a surgery, or abuse. Is one’s reaction brightened or saddened at the sight of a balloon breezing through the sky? Whether the balloon provokes fond memories or fear, each person has their own story. Whether the stories in the lives of others are simple, hard, or heartbreaking, it’s a reminder that each story is unique. It’s a reminder to always question what chapter of their story remains untold. What is missing

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from the obvious as we cross a person’s path in life? Did they try to do their best when the unforeseen happened? Are we too quick to judge? Learning how to explore the story behind the face is essential. Because your judgment doesn’t define who a person is, it labels you.

There are many very tough chapters in life, but let’s imagine a simple story. You hop onto a city transportation service to head home after your car broke down. The doors close with standing room only. You notice a gentleman begging the bus driver to reopen the door, so he won’t be late for his night shift. The bus driver acknowledges the man by reopening the door and you feel like a smashed peanut butter sandwich. You decide to do the complete opposite of what you are feeling, and you chuckle about the unfortunate occasion as you scoot over as best as you can. In that moment, the frantic gentleman kindly smiles with gratitude, explaining how your simple chuckle brought great relief over his terribly rainy day.

The tiny gesture of kindness answered his begging prayer to show that someone cares.

There are many true stories that declare the importance of friendly gestures in the midst of chaos. Caring, providing, helping, showing sincere gratitude for one’s efforts, anonymously paying for the person’s meal behind you in a drive-through, thanking a soldier for their bravery, or simply smiling when you least feel like it are only a few examples. Maybe you don’t feel like anyone cares, but you might be surprised at who might be watching.

Each person has their own story, settings, tribulations, heroines, and so forth. Therefore, respectfully think before you judge. Nobody’s pages are clean. Every individual has ink that stains.

Your Skin Lyndhurst

This Valentine’s Day

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www.lyndhurstgyn.com 111 Hanestown Court, Suite 151 | Winston-Salem, NC 27103 | 336.765.9350 We are in the Novant & Wake Forest Baptist Health Networks.

February 2020 | 29

PHOTO BY MADISON HILL

Check out pictures from last month’s Girls’ Night Out at The Crosby Pub and Restaurant

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Grab a friend, a neighbor, your sister, your mother, a co-worker, and have a much needed Girls’ Night Out!

Sir Winston Hotel Indigo

Tuesday, Feb 11th | 5pm - until

Located In The Hotel Indigo

Guest Room Tours Will Be Available

$8 Specialty Cocktails

1/2 Price Appetizers

Valet Parking Is Free For Your First 2 Hours 104 West 4th St • Winston-Salem, NC 27101 • 336.722.0795 • sirwinstonrestaurant.com February 2020 | 31

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425 N. CHERRY STREET • WINSTON-SALEM, NC | (336) 722-5232 • BUTCHERANDBULL.COM

BY ROSEY, PHOTOS BY PHOTO ARTISTRY BY MELINDA

This month, I was invited to try a new restaurant, Butcher & Bull. This downtown establishment opened in April 2019 and has already established itself as a culinary experience that is sophisticated and adventurous. Head Chef Richard Miller has done an outstanding job creating a diverse menu that includes something for everyone and, moreover – that is completely delicious.

When our group arrived, we were amazed at how lovely the restaurant is. With minimal décor, they have still managed to make a powerful statement.

There is an ambiance that lends itself to an intimate dinner for two… or a great and boisterous group of friends.

And before I get into the food part – it’s important to note that downtown parking isn’t an issue at Butcher & Bull! They offer free valet parking, so be sure to take advantage of that!

Okay – NOW onto the food.

Our meal started with two salads. The first was the BITTER GREENS, but don’t let the name fool you. This salad was amazing. Complete with frisée and radicchio, it is served with incredible housemade mozzarella cheese, grapefruit, and blood orange slices, as well as a sherry vinaigrette. The combination of creamy goodness from the cheese along with the bite from the greens and juiciness of the citrus makes this one a huge win.

We also sampled the ARUGULA SALAD. I absolutely love the flavor of arugula and paired with shaved fennel, beets, feta cheese, and toasted almonds – this was a salad that could easily be a meal. Just add protein! It’s got everything you could hope for. It’s dressed with a brown butter miso vinaigrette that had a lovely flavor that enhanced everything on the plate! It must also be noted that the combination of textures in this salad added to the experience. It’s a must-try!

Next, we were brought a CHARCUTERIE AND CHEESEBOARD. I think this simple idea may be one of the most ingenious things to ever leave a kitchen. It’s so simple, but oh, so elegant! At Butcher & Bull, they serve their Charcuterie board with a country pate that is sliced in generous wedges. Also – bleu cheese lovers will go crazy for the bay blue cheese that is served. Honestly, I could (and did) bogart this for myself. Grilled focaccia bread is stacked high along with incredible mustard. I was seriously eating it by the spoonful – it’s that good. I loved pickled cauliflower, and it was presented beautifully alongside a generous portion of Marcona almonds. Absolutely divine.

Also, from the Small Plates menu, they brought us LIVER ‘N ONIONS. Served on a bed of buttery grits, the livers are locally sourced from Joyce Farms chicken livers. They are charred on the outside and have a texture similar to sausage.

Served with smoked cheddar Geechie Boy grits, the whole dish is topped with red-eye gravy.

The last small plate we tried won the “most dramatic” dish award in my book. It’s a coldsmoked cocktail of some of the most colossal shrimp I’ve ever seen. This SHRIMP COCKTAIL arrived at the table with a domed lid, and when the lid is removed – a presentation of smoky curls adds a visual element to the magnificent taste of

the dish. It is served with a charred lemon and tomato jam, and the whole thing was made to impress. And it did.

STEAKS are a huge part of Butcher & Bull (as you may have already guessed by the name). And goodness knows – they did not disappoint. Are you ready for this? 22 ounces. Bone-in. Dryaged. Ribeye. I know, right? Just thinking about it makes me start drooling! It was so tender. So delicious. It had that perfect seared crust on the outside and was juicy on the inside. Everything a great steak should be. And while we didn’t sample it tonight, if you’re a steak enthusiast – it’s important to note that Butcher & Bull serves Wagyu! I’ll be headed there again soon to try it!

We thought we were done after that great steak, but nope. They brought out two more entrees for us to try! The first – SCALLOPS! One of my fellow diners declared these scallops to be the very best she’d ever tried. They were large scallops that were charred on the outside but literally melted in your mouth like butter. Served over celery root puree, the scallops were accompanied by chestnut mushrooms and fried parsnips (which were, in my opinion, a creative addition to the dish!).

As great as the scallops were, if you read regularly, you know I love beef. And when they put a POT ROAST in front of me, I was so excited. I had just experienced what they could do to a steak, so I was super eager to try one of my all-time favorite beef dishes! And it did not disappoint!

The pot roast was falling apart it was so tender!

And it was served with root vegetables and pan sauce. De. Lec. Ta. Ble. I lack the words for this one – just go try it. Promise me. No – that’s not enough. Pinky promise me. You won’t regret it.

Finally, dessert! It’s always amazing that we can eat all this food and think we’re stuffed. And then, dessert. And then, we miraculously find space! Strange how that works. But I digress….

All the desserts at Butcher & Bull are house-made, so if you like from scratch CHEESECAKE that is freshly made – hello! You’re going to love this!

It’s a classic, so expect to be wowed! Creamy with a thick graham cracker crust and a dollop of freshly whipped cream! Sigh. You can share, but I wouldn’t judge you if you didn’t.

We also tried the CRÈME CARAMEL, which reminded me a lot of a flan. The texture is similar.

But this sweet dish is served with edible flowers and bourbon walnuts that just add a crunchy texture to the creaminess of the caramel. It is incredible!

I thought long and hard about this because all the desserts were amazing, but after careful consideration, I decided that the APPLE STREUSEL POUND CAKE was my favorite. I am, after all, a Southerner. Pound cake is a part of our heritage.

But this ain’t grandma’s, and it definitely isn’t Sara Lee’s. It was an incredibly rich and flavorful pound cake that was topped with apple chutney and vanilla ice cream. The flavors in this dessert were extraordinary.

And that’s a wrap! Another Rosey’s Review! I want you to know – I dine for YOU because I care.

And because I care, I love sharing my experiences.

Please make sure you try Butcher & Bull for yourself and let them know – Rosey sent ya!

February 2020 | 33

Meet Denise Moseley

The Woman Behind Farrago DH: WHAT MAKES YOUR SALON DIFFERENT FROM OTHER SALONS? DM: As I mentioned, I opened

Denise Moseley is lucky. Early in life, she found her passion and has spent a lifetime pursuing it. As a hairstylist and business owner, Denise has learned a lot of lessons along the way. This month, we invited her to share a little about herself to Forsyth Woman readers.

DH: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN A HAIRSTYLIST? DM: For 43 years and I’ve loved

every single one of them. I’m not sure how many people can say that after a career as long as mine, but it’s true. I graduated from barber school in 1977, and immediately I bought a small barbershop in Lewisville. I converted it to a style shop, but because the shop was already established, and I was trained as a barber, I was able to keep the barber clientele as well. While I no longer own my original shop, I am back in Lewisville with my shop, Farrago, which I opened in 2013.

DH: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT BEING A HAIRSTYLIST? DM: Besides the long-time deep

friendships that are so meaningful, I’d have to say it’s the ability to make someone feel better about themselves immediately. My job gives almost instant gratification and that’s such a wonderful feeling. It’s also very rewarding to be appreciated all day and constantly complimented when clients/friends come back and always say their hair did great with little or no effort. I also think it’s fun to keep changing with the times because as styles change, I have to adapt to keep up! Plus, I also love to encourage someone to try a new haircut rather than the same one they may have worn for years.

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Farrago in 2013, and this time – I decided to do things a little different. The difference is really in the name. I chose “Farrago,” which is pronounced “Fah Rog Go,” because it is the perfect summation of my store: “A hodgepodge, mixed medley, mélange, an assortment or a medley.” So, not only are we a hair salon with a fabulous massage therapist on staff, but we are also a gift shop that features over 25 local artisans.

It’s a great place to find a oneof-a-kind gift that has been locally made.

Besides locally made gifts and artwork, we are also an Aveda retailer. I love their brand and know their reputation for excellence mirrors my own.

We show our clients how to economically use Aveda so that it is an affordable product that will showcase their best look with minimal effort.

Beyond the retail aspect of the shop, our team is excellent at doing consultations. This is huge because the more we understand what someone likes and their vision, the more we can promise a great turnout. I believe in giving someone a cut that looks good even if they don’t do a thing with it. We specialize in haircuts that lend themselves naturally to the hair.

For instance, if someone wants something that goes against what the texture of their hair will allow, we will advise accordingly.

I also believe in the importance of continuing education. I tell people – don’t assume by our laid back and relaxed atmosphere that we are uneducated. Continuing education is critical. It’s how I’ve been able to stay relevant in this industry for 43 years! You have to stay open-minded and embrace the changes that ebb and flow in this line of work!

BY DENISE HEIDEL

DH: IF YOU COULD HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH A 20-YEAR-OLD VERSION OF YOURSELF, WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE? DM: I’d probably tell myself to work smarter, not longer, save more

money, and all that grown-up advice. Though if I’m honest, I’m glad I didn’t do that... I wouldn’t trade the traveling I’ve done and all the wonderful experiences I’ve had just to have a larger savings account and more investments. But having a child at 44 changed a lot of my feelings about money just because children are SO expensive.

I also wish I could tell myself that I am not as invincible as I thought I was. My body has aged, and it’s painful to keep working long hours.

That’s something I never thought I’d say. It’s a part of the process for everyone, and while I’ve spent a lifetime working hard, I wish I understood limitations. Of course, to be clear, I can’t say I wish I’ve worked less…. I have so much fun at work, it has never felt like work. But age does creep up unexpectedly.

DH: WHAT IS YOUR # 1 HAIR TIP? DM: It may sound funny coming from me as a stylist, but my best tip –

keep looking until you find the right hairdresser! Your hairdresser should understand your hair and be able to train you on how to style it. Your stylist should understand your hair’s capabilities and limitations.

My professional goal is to give my clients the best hairstyle that will look great while it simply air dries and or even better if they need a more finished look (and have the time to do so). Don’t settle! There’s some tremendous talent in this community!

DH: WHAT’S NEXT FOR FARRAGO? DM: We will continue to try and be better stylists each day and learn

what our clients need. We’ll keep improving the gift shop and keep having fun while being professional and simply be there for our clients’ needs!

Farrago is located at 6301 Shallowford Road, Lewisville, NC. For more information, call 336-946-9128 or visit farragonc.com and check out their Facebook page to keep up on the latest at Farrago.

GOLDMAN CENTER for Facial Plastic Surgery Facial Rejuvenation Minimally Invasive Surgery Skin Rejuvenation and Fractional Laser Therapy Fillers and Injectables

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FacialPlasticSurgeryNC.com February 2020 | 35

Stylish Bedroom Ideas Do you want a dramatic, cheerful, romantic, eclectic, or a monochromatic statement for your bedroom?

Either way, we help clients achieve a special look for their homes. More and more clients are coming to us for help with an inspiring bedroom. It can be a guest or the master, but we really like helping with these projects. Our knowledge of cotton and what differentiates a sateen versus a pima cotton is important information when you make decisions concerning softness. We help you pull colors and luxury linens into your space. Bedrooms often seem to be the last room to get attention, but I am a firm believer in making it a priority on your list. We need to feel secure and comfortable in our own bedroom.

The one thing I have learned, but not until later in life, is that soft sheets and beautiful bedding make you feel so important, safe, and sound. My children asked for fine cotton sheets this Christmas and throws that are soft and inviting. I have an adult son and daughter and they love staying with me because I keep their sleeping arrangements comfortable.

Their spouses also mention to me how much they like their beds, and a little chocolate under their pillow is nice for a special treat as well.

© PEACOCK ALLEY

For many years now, I have visited the Atlanta market, which is where I see most of our manufacturers’ selections. Some of the lines we carry at our retail location in Clemmons include SFERRA Fine Linens-Italian made with Egyptian long grain cotton found along the Nile River, Bella Nottefine vat dyed, soft and luxurious linens, POM POM Linens, Traditional Linens, Lili Alexander, Eastern Accents, and more. We treat a bedroom just like any other design project. We always start with the measurements of the room and layout the best use of space. The rug or carpet selection normally comes

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next, then we select fine linens, paint colors, artwork, and lamps. We provide ‘white-glove’ delivery and set up to make sure everything is like it should be. Finishing touches are an important asset to your project.

Outfitting your stylish bedroom can be as easy as you want it to be just by calling June DeLugas Interiors, Inc., Clemmons NC Visit us at junedelugasinteriors.com for more photos and ideas. We would also love for you to like us on Facebook, Google, Pinterest, and Houzz.

Thank you and make this an important New Year to make your home comfortable and inviting.

I finally realized myself that I am the happiest if my home feels good. What are you waiting on?

God bless,

North Carolina’s Premier Interior Design Firm 2575 Old Glory Road, Clemmons | 336-778-1030

Outfitting Your Bedroom

© PEACOCK ALLEY

June DeLugas Interiors

It All Begins with

Extraordinary Design

Bella Notte • Peacock Alley • Sferra Strategic Remodel Planning • Luxury Residential Design • Home Furnishings & Accessories 8 Years!

2018, 2017, 2016, 2016, 2013

2019 WINNER!

Check out our website & Facebook page for Design Tips & Weekly Blog!

www.junedelugasinteriors.com Facebook ∙ Instagram

February 2020 | 37

VISION 2020 Duke Eye Center Sets Sights on Your Eye Health

It’s 2020, the year of vision! Duke Eye Center of WinstonSalem is committed to keeping your eyes healthy and helping you meet your vision goals. The growing practice has experts in common and complex eye conditions. If you experience eye disease or desire facial rejuvenation for a refreshed look to start the next decade, make sure you take advantage of the expert eye care professionals at Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem.

CATARACTS, CORNEAL DISEASE AND LASIK

Cataracts are a common issue for people over 50 and are often the most prevailing cause of vision loss. Cataracts cause clouding of the eye’s natural lens, and the condition is treatable with a quick outpatient procedure. Many patients experience little to no pain and rapid recovery.

The cornea, also known as the window of the eye, is an essential structure. Corneal disease can severely affect your vision if not treated promptly and effectively. Duke Eye Center’s cornea surgeons specialize in providing a variety of therapeutic treatments depending on the needs of each corneal condition.

Laser vision correction, such as LASIK, PRK, and other refractive procedures, can be performed to correct nearsightedness, farsightedness, and astigmatism, which are all common causes of blurred vision in young adults.

Depending on your condition, treatment for cataracts, corneal disease, and laser vision correction can help you see clearly, and in some cases, restore your vision to 20/20 to improve your day to day activities.

GLAUCOMA

Glaucoma is a leading cause of blindness for people over 60. It requires early diagnosis and treatment to prevent vision loss. Duke Eye Center of WinstonSalem glaucoma specialists have advanced training in managing all types of glaucoma, including open-angle glaucoma, narrow-angle (also known as closed-angle) glaucoma, and neovascular glaucoma, which may affect people with diabetes.

Duke’s glaucoma experts use the latest diagnostic advances and are skilled in advanced laser and surgical procedures to slow glaucoma progression. We routinely provide care for people who are at high risk for glaucoma, have been diagnosed with glaucoma, or haven’t had success with previous glaucoma treatments.

Our goal is to lower your eye pressure, minimize the damage to your optic nerve, and preserve your vision.

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EYELID, FACIAL REJUVENATION, COSMETIC SURGERY & RECONSTRUCTION

Duke Eye Center of Winston Salem offers the latest treatments to improve skin texture and reverse photo-aging with laser skin resurfacing and minimally invasive anti-aging procedures for facial rejuvenation, such as injectable fillers and neurotoxins.

Cosmetic and reconstructive surgery on the face, eyes, tear system, and the facial structure surrounding the eye following an injury or skin cancer removal can improve how you feel and function. You will receive personalized treatment recommendations to help you look and feel your best.

PEDIATRIC EYE CARE & MISALIGNMENT OF THE EYES

Eye movement disorders include double vision, shaky vision, crossed eyes (strabismus), lazy eye (amblyopia), and involuntary eye movements (nystagmus).

The Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem’s pediatric ophthalmologist treats people of all ages who have eye movement disorders by identifying the cause and helping patients receive the most effective treatment. The clinic also treats pediatric tear duct obstruction and other eye conditions in children.

COMPREHENSIVE EYE CARE

Dilated eye exams and advanced imaging help eye doctors diagnose and manage eye disease. At Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem, you will receive prompt, effective treatment to halt or slow the progression of eye diseases.

EXPERT CARE AT DUKE EYE CENTER

The expert ophthalmologists at Duke Eye Center of Winston Salem are also Duke University School of Medicine faculty members. “Our faculty have access to the latest in research, education and ophthalmic care,” shared Carol Ziel, MD, glaucoma and cataract specialist, and medical director for Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem. “Because we are a medical practice with university ties, our doctors are equipped and trained in the most advanced innovations in vision science.”

Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem is accredited by the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO). This certification is recognized nationwide as a symbol of safety and quality that reflects an organization’s commitment to meeting rigorous performance standards and indicates healthcare excellence.

“I am proud that our clinic is a regional center of excellence in safety, quality, technology, and patient care,” said Dr. Ziel, “Our patients enjoy the comfort of our new, relaxing office where we have created an environment designed with our patients in mind – to make them feel comfortable when they visit us.”

Duke Eye Center of Winston-Salem will take care of you and your family today and decades to come.

The clinic is located at 1340 Creekshire Way, Suite 100. Office hours are Monday through Friday 8:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. Call 336-768-3240 to schedule an appointment. Visit dukeeye.org for more information about providers and services.

Serving Forsyth for more than

20 years

Dukeeye.org | 336-768-3240 1340 Creekshire Way | Winston Salem, NC 27103

Meet our New Ophthalmologists

JIAXI DING, MD

FARAMARZ HIDAJI, MD

Glaucoma Specialist Cataract Management

Pediatric Ophthalmologist Oculofacial Specialist

ROSHNI RANJIT-REEVES, MD “DR ROSH” Oculofacial Specialist Facial Rejuvenation Aesthetic and Reconstructive Surgery

Duke Eye Center

KENNETH WEINLANDER, MD Cornea Specialist Cataract Management Laser Vision Correction

Our expert eye care specialists provide the latest treatment strategies personalized to your needs.

FRANK J. MOYA, MD

WILLIAM B. RAFFERTY, OD

Glaucoma Specialist Cataract Management

Optometrist Dry Eye Treatment

DIANNA L. SELDOMRIDGE, MD

TERRY M. SEMCHYSHYN, MD

CAROL J. ZIEL, MD

Comprehensive Ophthalmologist Dry Eye Treatment

Cornea Specialist Cataract Management

Glaucoma Specialist Cataract Management Medical Director

February 2020 | 39

101

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Humans have been telling stories forever. It’s an incredible way to connect with another person, build familiarity and trust. Think about it – we use, consume, and create stories our entire life.

Get the point?

As a child, we listen to them, for entertainment and lessons.

Also, when it comes to your why – if you’re doing it because you heard storytelling is effective and trendy, you’re going to have a flat story, because you don’t have a strong purpose. If you understand your why your story will resonate.

As a young adult, we are influenced by them and also use them to create and establish who we are.

After you understand your why, you can find a place for a story in your day to day. Aside from the obvious story to small kids, you can also use stories in:

As an adult, we both create them for our work and live them in our careers.

As an older adult, we tell them to younger generations.

Rinse, wash, repeat – and they are effective!

Psychologist Jerome Bruner’s research shows that facts are 20 times more likely to be remembered if they’re part of a story. Most commercials we consume have an element of storytelling. So how can we use stories in our day-to-day life?

In so many ways – but before I start listing all of the places that stories can show up in every person’s life, and how you can use them to further human connection, there are two critical questions that have to be addressed by every single person that is interested in telling a story to another person or group of people: Who is my audience? and Why am I telling this story?

If you don’t know the answer to both of those questions, you need to take a step back and find those answers! Think about it: if you don’t know your audience, you’re probably not going to be effective. You don’t tell a story to a kindergartner in the same way you tell a story to an adult.

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• Branding

• Coworker Connection

• Personal Business

• Networking and Small Talk

• Client Relationships

And so much more – get creative! Where might you need human connection? That’s where you should tap into storytelling.

Once you decide who, why, and where, you can start laying out your story – which might be the simplest part!

Every story has the same five elements – exposition, that information that sets things up, like the characters and the location – rising action, what the day to day looks like, the “norm” for our characters in their place – the climax, that moment when everything might go wrong and we worry about the fate of our characters – the falling action, what happens after the climax – and the resolution, how everything turns out.

Another way to think about the story elements: you need the situation, the problem, and the solution. Simple as that – and every story needs those elements.

After you’ve got the bones of your story, remember to not get stuck in the details. Too many of them can sink a story! Think about using the details that enhance the story and remove any that weight it down. You can always add more when you’re telling it, or attend to your audience and if they are interested, add those spicy details in. Remember, you’re not telling the story for the

details, you’re telling it for your original why.

Now that you’ve got all of that figured out, the biggest thing that makes good storytelling great: practice. If you’re not both practicing the creation skills and the presentation skills, your story will fall flat. Think about getting excited when you’re telling it, make sure you know why you care about it and incorporate dramatic techniques if you feel comfortable.

Things like pregnant pauses and cadence changes are easy ways to level up any story.

And when you’re done? Do it all over again with your next story to grow your skills that will never go out of style – humans have been telling stories since the beginning of time!

Budget Blinds

February 2020 | 41

Cupid’s Arrows Inspire New Ideas

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

It must be true! The magic, while unseen, appears as stardust, sprinkling invisible mist over the bodies of humans. Look at the children, who should be wild, anxious to leave their enclosed winter homes, have heart-shaped kindness in their eyes. Adults, too, are in a state of wonder thinking of original ideas to express their love. Has cupid arrived just in time to fill an entire world with thoughts of giving?

The ideas of this season may need a new approach. Let us look beyond our continent to discover how the rest of the world celebrates February and love!

ARGENTINA

The holiday spans an entire week, usually in August, referring to the festival of love, “Sweetness Week.” Lovers exchange candy for kisses and include a day to dedicate to friends by the week’s end.

Idea: Do not limit the holiday to just one day; celebrate a little all week or month-long?

BULGARIA

Move over St. Valentine; the Bulgarians celebrate the patron saint of vine growing and winemaking.

Traditionally, February 1st is a day of hospitality, delicious foods, wine, music and a gathering of friends.

DENMARK

Rather than a gift of roses, the snowdrop is a popular choice for Valentine’s Day. Danish women may receive a handmade card from a loved one or friend containing a humorous poem signed in an arrangement of dots. If guesses remain unknown

by Easter, she’ll receive a gift from him.

Idea: Surprise your special someone by leaving small gifts or notes!

ESTONIA

A new holiday to the Estonian people, they view Valentine’s Day as an embrace of family, friends and children. Gifts and cards acknowledge love and friendship in a way to celebrate togetherness!

Idea: This year’s holiday is on a Friday. It offers an opportunity to gather the important people in your life for a festive, musical and spirited evening!

FRANCE While France is not a country that celebrates one day of love, they have a unique tradition dating back to the 15th century. Identifying a love interest, the yard and home transitions to a place of romance. The belief that trees have symbolic powers

The tradition of Valentine’s Day began through a folktale about a cow-herder and the King’s daughter. As the story goes, the two, once discovered, are only allowed to reunite one day a year; therefore, couples pray for prosperity. At night, they look for the constellations Vega and Altair, which represent the cowherd and the King’s daughter, clearly visible in the sky.

Idea: China has six Valentine’s Day celebrations. Consider expanding your direct intentions with a promise to include monthly or bimonthly date nights.

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Idea: Great thoughts can arrive from using a tree.

Think bonsai!

GERMANY

Did you know pigs are a symbol of luck and passion? Pig figurines and chocolates are popular gifts.

Idea: Similar to the Bulgarians, enjoy the day in good company and spirit!

CHINA

is part of the decoration.

Whether a “tree of vows” is chosen and planted, or notes pinned to the trunk, the idea suggests the tree will flourish to commemorate a lasting relationship.

Idea: Other animals represent good fortune. How about taking the gesture one step further and adopt another symbol of luck, such as a cat, rabbit, frog or goldfish?

PERU

Another flower to consider is the Peruvian choice – an orchid.

WALES

Bring back a tradition to your home if you have Welsh ancestry and provide your spouse with a wooden spoon. Since the 16th century, handcrafted spoons indicated the symbolism of love.

This year, allow a cultural idea to spark a new tradition in a day and month of celebrating friendship and love. Just wait!

You’ll be struck soon!

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February 2020 | 43

Beyond the Will

Tips for Executors

BY VONDA HENDERSON

An executor is a person appointed to administer the estate of a deceased person. By definition, their role as executor is “to carry out the instructions and wishes of a deceased person’s estate.” Someone trusts you enough to have you ensure that their wishes for dispersing and administering their belongings and finances are handled according to their will upon their death. Being asked to assume this role should not be taken lightly, and it is undoubtedly an honor to be asked. However, there is a commitment of your time, possible research requirements, organizational skills, and meetings that must be attended as part of the role.

FIRST, A DISCLAIMER:

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If you have computer skills, particularly Excel, utilizing spreadsheets will be useful; however, pen and paper work fine, too. Lists will become your resource for keeping track of projects.

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These suggestions/tips are offered from personal experience as executor, including one out of state. These are in no way legal recommendations and are provided as ideas on ways to gather information to pass to legal experts and to streamline some of the details involved in the role.

LOCATE IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS

While waiting for death certificates and documents naming you as executor, there are things that you can begin working on.

• As executor, request a copy of the person’s will.

• Find insurance policies and notify the appropriate agents.

In most cases, the funeral director will assist with life insurance. Funeral payments usually come from that source, with the balance remaining going to the designated beneficiary.

• It has been my experience that the funeral director requests copies of death certificates. As executor, you will need enough originals with the raised seal for all the accounts that will need to be closed or renamed. Some vendors may return the original; some will not. You may want to request a few extras.

• Gather monthly bills, bank statements, stock records, and any other financial documents.

Organization is critical. If the deceased person left lists of their finances and where to find important documents, that’s a plus for an executor. If not, researching and locating the necessary documents is one of the first steps as an executor. Be patient and take one action at a time to avoid being overwhelmed.

Grouping like documents first and then organizing them one at a time is a good way to get through piles of paperwork.

SUGGESTIONS ON WHAT TO TAKE TO THE FIRST ATTORNEY MEETING

• Banking and other financial documents in the deceased name. If possible, include the bank name, date account opened, account number, copy of front and back of the signature card(s), and balance in the account on the date of death.

• A list of any financial investments, including the managing firm, contact name, phone number, and balance on the date of death.

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• List of property owned such as homes, cars, recreation vehicles, etc. (basically anything titled in deceased’s name).

• A list of monthly expenses, including credit card statements, utilities, car or home payments, etc. Include the creditor name, balance, terms of payment, and monthly payment. Also, include any open lines of credit.

• A to-do list of steps and/or questions is also useful. Suggested headings include the topic, who is responsible (i.e., executor or attorney), status, findings, and completion date.

Include any questions upon which you, as executor, need guidance.

Based on experience, separate spreadsheets are suggested for household accounts, banking (checking and savings), property, and long-term investments (CDs, stocks, bonds, etc.), and things-to-do list. Update these on a routine basis and share it with the attorney. This prep work and continued tracking may save the estate money in terms of legal fees, as well as expediting some steps.

WHAT NOT TO DO

• Don’t try to take on responsibilities you’re not comfortable handling.

For instance, if you’re not sure about how to request transferring stock from one person to another, let your attorney handle it.

• Property transfer may be another responsibility you’d prefer having your legal expert take care of.

• If you’re uncertain, ask your attorney.

• If you’re not getting a response, defer to your attorney.

For out of state executor work, use email as your resource to keep track of conversations with the attorney.

Each state has its own procedures for managing estates, so your experience may not translate from one state to another. Your in-state attorney will guide you through the necessary steps to closure of the estate.

Your role of executor is to be sure the deceased’s wishes are carried out, not that you have to do them all yourself.

Be honored that your family or friend had such trust in your ability to see that their final wishes were fulfilled.

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February 2020 | 45

A Romantic Get Away at the Historic Brookstown Inn

BY DENISE HEIDEL Romance is in the air! Especially at the Historic Brookstown Inn! Known as “a living museum of history, art, and treasure in Winston-Salem,” the historic charm of the property lends itself to a relaxing, tranquil escape from the everyday… Located at 200 Brookstown Avenue, this property serves as a gateway between downtown Winston-Salem and historic Old Salem. It’s the perfect romantic getaway for newlyweds, those celebrating a special anniversary, or looking for a Valentine’s Day weekend celebration!

The Historic Brookstown Inn encompasses the essence of downtown Winston-Salem. It embraces its rich history, from its warm wood that has lined the floors, walls, and ceilings since 1837, to its antique furniture pieces that lend to its unique ambiance. But it also offers all the modern amenities and luxuries that one looks for when vacationing, on a business trip, or simply for a romantic night away. All of this inspires many to refer to the Historic Brookstown Inn as the “romance inn.” Guests have several romantic packages from which to choose.

ROMANTIC GETAWAY

This package is perfect for couples seeking a night away from home! Savor champagne in keepsake Brookstown Inn champagne flutes as you admire your fresh bouquet of seasonal flowers created by Bo-Ty Florists! Guests can enjoy evening wine and cheese in the Cotton Mill Lounge as well as fresh milk and cookies before bed in the Historic Brookstown Inn’s deluxe accommodations! A hot Southern breakfast can be enjoyed before late check-out!

THE CUPID PACKAGE

Imagine walking into a beautifully appointed room to find a dozen longstemmed red roses from Bo-Ty Florist waiting on you! Not to mention a decadent four-pack of locally made chocolate truffles! Enjoy champagne as well as breakfast in bed the following morning! Wine and cheese at the Cotton Mill Lounge, as well as milk, cookies, and late check-out, are offered with this package as well.

WINSTON-SALEM CRAFT BEER & WINE GETAWAY

Perhaps traditional romance isn’t your thing…. But you still want a couple’s getaway. Consider the Historic Brookstown Inn’s Winston-Salem Craft Beer and Wine Getaway. The evening wine and cheese reception at the Cotton Mill Lounge will feature NC wines, and guests receive a voucher for Carolina’s Vineyards and Hops! That voucher includes two drinks, and guests can choose between a local craft beer or NC wine. It also includes is a Charcuterie or Cheese Plate featuring NC goodies, as well as dessert.

When it comes to Winston-Salem accommodations, The Historic Brookstown Inn is # 1 on the list. Guests love the Brookstown Inn for their oversized rooms, charm, and convenience!

There’s no doubt that romance is alive and well here, as you can lose yourself in tales of the past, savor superb cuisine and stroll through the picturesque courtyard. With specially designed packages, the inn is a perfect escape to a simpler, more serene time, yet ultra-convenient to lively downtown Winston-Salem.

The Historic Brookstown Inn is located at 200 Brookstown Avenue in Winston-Salem. Visit online at BrookstownInn.com or call 336.725.1120.

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February 2020 | 47

Discovering an Inner

Fountain of Youth

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

Believers, dating back to 400 BC, sought to discover the eternal spring, the fountain of youth, in hopes one long drink or a soothing bath would remove years from their lives. All it takes is a look into the water’s surface to find the answer!

• Tomatoes have health-promoting nutrients, which include vitamins C and E, betacarotene and flavanol antioxidants!

In the technological advancements of the modernized world, the answer is knowledge. Through a change of habits, choices and natural products, you can immerse yourself in a figurative everglow of eternal youth.

Most active people claim exercise offers a mental clarity that carries them throughout the day. Behind the number one factor, diet, studies conclude the path toward longevity is physical activity. The type of exercise is not essential. The key is to work the body to the point of breathing rapidly and sweating. While swimming and aerobics are ideal, walking the dog and taking family bike rides can accomplish health with the joys of companionship.

THE WATER OF LIFE

The ease of leaning your head back in a tub full of soothing warm water offers its restorative power; yet, an additive is essential to fulfilling the needs of rejuvenation and health. Some may seek oils, herbs or petals. Another ideal option is apple cider vinegar. In addition to the vitamins B and C, which help to nourish your skin, the liquid helps joint and knee pain, balances the body’s pH levels and detoxes oil build-up in the hair. Add one to two cups to a tub full of warm water and soak for 20 to 30 minutes.

INGREDIENTS OF LIFE

In living with convenience, the need for pre-packaged food to save time is not the solution to longevity. Some foods can reduce symptoms of illness, encourage a healthy weight and result in a feeling of energy. For the cause, a diet of natural plant foods can balance wellness and boost vitality; therefore, include the following foods in your meals: • Vegetables, raw, cooked or juiced, have the unique ability to modify human hormones, activate the body’s natural detoxification system and inhibit cancerous cell growth. Try eating more broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, kale and cabbage.

• Leafy greens, rich in essential vitamins and minerals, have substantial health benefits. Enjoy salads with fiber-enriched walnuts or almonds!

• Flax, chia and hemp seeds boost healthy fats, protein, vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. Sesame seeds are rich in calcium and vitamin E, while pumpkin seeds emphasize enriched levels of zinc.

• Blueberries and strawberries are antioxidant-rich fruits. It has anti-cancer properties that are excellent for the brain, blood pressure and cholesterol levels.

• Pomegranates promote anti-cancer, cardio protective and brain-health benefits. Consider drinking one ounce of juice daily!

• Beans and other legumes help to stabilize blood sugar, reduce appetite and protect against colon cancer. A diet of beans twice weekly can decrease a risk of colon cancer by 50 percent.

• Mushrooms promote anti-inflammatory effects, enhance immune cell activity and slow cancer cell growth.

• Onions benefit the cardiovascular and immune systems as well as having anti-diabetic and anti-cancer effects. Try leeks, chives, shallots and scallions, in addition to garlic and yellow onions.

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STRIDING FOR LIFE

THE CONNECTION OF LIFE

Extending a hand to one’s face fulfills the words, “I adore you!” The act of positive feelings and physical touch, whether it is a tight embrace, a hand held or cuddling connects to the brain’s feel-good sensations. The release of the hormone Oxytocin fosters a sense of happiness. It is the positive choices that influence wellness. Surround yourself with good friends, pets, laugh, sing, dance and enjoy every day. The alternative, such as a toxic job or relationship, can take 33 years from your life expectancy.

THE MEANING OF LIFE

The universe is a substantial concept. There’s more to the world than the ego. The question arises, “What is my purpose?” Beyond health, fitness and social interaction, faith develops the mind to meditate, pray, think positively, expand our horizons and be. Yes, the need to praise God and feel the blessings of life is an extension beyond self; therefore, explore volunteering, aiding people or animals and sharing your gifts!

The spring of the life force flows within you.

With knowledge and new habits, the belief in turning back the hours of the clock is possible!

Trellis Supportive Care

Simply Sterling & Co

February 2020 | 49

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FOR THE LOVE… & FUN… OF DENTISTRY!

BY SHARON REID

Has anyone heard the old saying “Time flies when you’re having fun”? Well, it could not be truer for our office. As many of you may remember, we were fortunate enough to have relocated to Clemmons from Country Club Rd in Winston-Salem more than eight years ago and have not regretted a single minute. My staff of six (that have been with me from the beginning I might add) and I had heard this community was amazing and took a leap of faith, opening at our current location of 100 Stadium Oaks Dr., Suite A, Clemmons NC 27012 on April 18, 2011. To say that it was the best decision we could have made is putting it mildly!

We were on the cover of Forsyth Woman in February 2012 and are thrilled to have been asked again. In that edition, our tag line was “For the Love of Dentistry,” and that still holds true today. We love our work and our mission to serve our patients and to provide our utmost for their needs remains constant. There have been a few changes in eight years, but not many. Dr. Tyler Wynne joined our practice in November of 2018 and has been a true asset. Besides being an excellent practitioner, he often gets

positive comments about his anesthetic technique. Patients are often shocked to learn that they have already been anesthetized when they didn’t feel a thing. Now THAT is a claim to fame in this business! Dr. Wynne relocated from the Raleigh area and has had quite a year. He bought a home in WinstonSalem, joined the Clemmons Rotary and also became accredited and SMART certified with the International Academy of Oral Medicine and Toxicology.

Another wonderful change we had was in April of last year when Kim, our dental assistant of 18 years, expanded her family with a new son, Brody, and decided to focus all of her time and energy at home. But when one door closes another opens and we couldn’t be more thrilled with our latest addition, Megan. Megan has been in dentistry for five years and brings such a pleasant, youthful energy to the office. She resides in Pilot Mountain with her husband, Tyler, and two-year-old daughter, Emerson.

She is fortunate in that she works closely with our two other dental assistants, Gerri and Lisa, who have more than 25 years of experience and have lots of knowledge to offer and share.

February 2020 | 51

DAWN

office manager

HALEY & TERESA hygienists

As with most dental offices, our love of dentistry starts at the front desk, so don’t be surprised when you phone and/ or visit that you are greeted warmly by our receptionist and office manager, Dawn. She has also been with our practice for 25 plus years and is always happy to help patients make appointments, answer questions about their dental insurance, and is also responsible for providing the fresh baked cookies that are served in our waiting area daily.

And last, but certainly not least are our hygienists, Haley and Teresa. We feel so fortunate to have not one but two terrific hygienists who

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have also been with us for many years. Haley and Teresa both pride themselves on helping our patients maintain healthy teeth and smiles and are always so gentle and caring. These two set a very high standard with their clinical abilities as all their patients will attest.

As for me, well…I just consider myself blessed to work in such a thriving, welcoming community doing a job I truly love with those I consider to be the most incredible staff in the world. But don’t just take my word for it. We would love to meet you and let you experience for yourself how special we try to be. See you soon!

MEGAN, GERRI & LISA Dentist, Dental Assistants

Sharon Reid, DDS, PA & Tyler Wynne, DDS

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February 2020 | 53

Coping with Aging Parents

BY JULIE FRITZ

Aging is inevitable. We will all be faced with it at some point in our life. But one of the hardest parts of getting older is dealing with aging parents. It is so difficult to think about the people who have cared for you your entire life, starting to need your help. The role reversal from parents caring for their child to adult children caring for their parents can be overwhelming and cause a feeling of deep sadness.

The other element at play is that their needs alone can be overwhelming and leave you frustrated. You probably have your own life that is full of challenges and time-consuming tasks.

When your parents begin to depend on you, that adds to your already full plate and that can be very difficult. The important thing to know it that you are not alone. Most people will deal with this at some point and if you reach out to the people around you, you will find that you already know someone who is currently dealing with it, or has dealt with it.

Since you know this is something that will happen eventually, there are a few things you can do to prepare in advance. Most importantly, you need to have an open line of communication with your parents about several things. You need to know what their wishes are in regards to their health. It is important to know what kind of life-saving measures they are interested in and that they have made that clear in the proper paperwork.

Find out if they have a living will. If not, encourage them to get that taken care of. And while you are on the topic of paperwork, make sure they have a will and have designated a power of attorney. All of this is important to have done before something happens, and they cannot make decisions anymore. Taking these steps will help make this complicated time of life a lot simpler.

When you find yourself in the position of your parents needing a caregiver, you will need to think about several things. First things first, you need to assess their needs. Whether they are physical needs or financial needs, you have to have a true understanding of the big picture before you can make decisions. You also need to access your ability to help. Then you will need to look at where you are in your own life and what the needs are so you can make a plan.

Keep the communication open with your parents and work together to make a plan.

It is so important to make sure they feel like a part of the conversation, but be prepared

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that you may have to be the voice of reason sometimes. If everyone is honest, it will make it easier to set up a plan that is realistic and where feelings are less likely to be hurt. This is really tough stuff sometimes. You want to make sure that you don’t commit to things you cannot provide and that your parents don’t have unrealistic expectations.

The hardest part of all of this is definitely the emotional toll it can take on you. These are your parents. You love them and it is really hard to watch them go from being a source of strength in your life, to someone who needs help. Try to remember that those are big feelings and you need to process that. Find someone you can talk to about your feelings and lean on the people you know who have been through, or are going through this part of life. You are not alone. This can be a truly overwhelming experience, so be sure to take the time to care for yourself. If you are taking care of you, it will make it so much easier to take care of your parents, too.

Homestead Hills

February 2020 | 55

Actually, I Said That First

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Picture this: You add something to a conversation. You’re pretty pleased with yourself and pretty proud of your idea. You present it – let’s just say it’s in a meeting or professional situation. Everyone is fine with it, no parades or huge cheers. The meeting moves on, and then, not 5 minutes later, someone says the same idea, presenting it as their own. It’s received with accolade – you presented the exact same idea! Sure, they said it a bit differently and maybe had a lot more confidence when presenting it.

And worse – no one remembers you said it.

At least, no one mentions that they already heard the idea, and it seems like it’s too far gone to bring it up without sounding petty.

You sigh and the meeting ends, and it’s just another situation where someone either steals your idea or you don’t feel heard.

Sound familiar? Happens more than you think, and often happens when women speak up in male-dominated spaces. Call it what you will, it’s a problem, and there are a few ways to work on being heard, speaking up, and dealing with the feeling when someone steals your idea.

Before we get into that, it’s important to keep one thing in mind: first, most ideas, if not all, aren’t original. Everything is a remix of past experiences, other ideas, and more, so it’s important to note when this happens.

If you were about to write about something and someone else “steals” it – think about the probability of it. Did you talk to that person about it? Did you post about it on social media? If both are no, then chances are this person just thought of a similar idea.

This is specifically for those times where you say something, and someone says just about the same thing. They 100% heard you, were present, know about the idea, and present it as if it was their own. Now that we’re on the same page, on to the tips:

STAY CALM

Nothing good happens when you get angry and upset in professional moments. While I am behind the idea of understanding your emotions and being aware of them, you do need to keep them in a place where they don’t get in the way of professionalism.

It’s also completely natural to get upset when someone takes your idea and presents it as their own. Give yourself some

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grace and time, and if you need to take some time away from the situation to think about it, give yourself that time.

STAY IN IT

Our natural response to situations like these hits in the fight, flight or freeze place in human emotion. Since we already talked about staying calm, it’s important to not bail on the moment and not just freeze up. By affirming the idea and adding to it – especially since it was yours in the first place, you’re assuming good intent (maybe they just didn’t hear you?) and staying in the idea.

If the person is deliberately being malicious and an idea thief, that’s another situation entirely. Most people aren’t like that, so assuming good intent and adding to the idea keeps you in the situation.

REFLECT ON THE WHY

Why weren’t you heard? Go internal rather than external, and try to understand what happened so it doesn’t happen again – or so you can work on it. Did you say it quietly? Were other people talking? Did someone interrupt you or step on what you were saying? If those are all no, think about the culture of the meeting. Are people cutthroat, stealing ideas from everyone? Is the person that presented your idea known for this behavior?

The better you understand the why, the more you can work on this not happening again. If it’s you, work on being confident, specific, and concise when you’re presenting your idea. If it’s the workplace, can you be assertive and talk to that person? Is it worth it? Is there another medium you can submit ideas? Does it even matter? These are all ways to work on next time – this time, try to understand why it happened or happens.

Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics

February 2020 | 57

Making Dollars, Making $ense What To Get Your Valentine

Securities offered through LPL Financial. Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment advice offered through Marzano Capital Group, a registered investment advisor and separate entity from LPL Financial.

BY AL SEYMOUR, CHFC®, CLU®, CRPC®, CASL®, AEP®, CAP® WEALTH MANAGER

Valentine’s Day is Friday, February 14. A quick reminder for those of you out there who may have forgotten. Traditional Valentine’s gifts include chocolates and flowers and maybe a night on the town. I used to do these things for my wife Elizabeth, plus have a barbershop quartet come and sing at dinner. My wife is very practical and after many years, didn’t really want the flowers, chocolates, or even the quartet.

My wife, like many wives and husbands, just wants to be loved and appreciated. While we still go out for dinner on that special day, we focus more on those things that make growing old together meaningful.

One of the things we have learned to share, over our many years, is our feelings about our financial well-being. We share concerns about our saving, spending, our giving, and ultimately our retirement plan. As a couple, we face our financial matters together as a team. After years of good communication, we have a good feel for each person’s financial views. We celebrate the triumphs we have as we get closer to reaching our financial goals. We also find great pleasure in sharing what we have been blessed with, to our church family and other various charitable endeavors.

Our love for each other has grown stronger in both good and bad times because we have communicated well along the way.

Perhaps this year is a good time to talk to your Valentine about your mutual goals. Maybe you’ve never had a clear vision of what you can accomplish. Regardless of your age, you will find that you have better control of your situation with good communication and a partner that is on the same page.

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Maybe you will show your love by preparing for an untimely death by owning life insurance, or planning ahead for both of you with Long Term Care insurance so that there is more financial security if an event happens. It could be disability coverage, savings for education, retirement, a second home, or even a charitable cause.

There are lots of ways to say I love you as we plan for the future and do so in ways that protect what you have built together.

Life is not all about money, but it can be positively facilitated by judicious use of money. Learn how to be good stewards of your money. Have a set of goals and remember that they are magnified in the sense that two people must buy in and be aligned in how their spending and savings will make their future dreams a reality.

Maybe you don’t feel comfortable discussing these matters, or worse yet, you feel hopeless about your current financial situation. If that is you, seek the advice of a professional. Importantly, go to the meeting as a team. Create a plan of action that you both agree on and work at it diligently. You may find that having a plan and working on it together can help alleviate many of your worries.

If you look at statistics on why couples do not end up staying together, arguments over money are the leading cause of divorce.

Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love and relationships.

If there is a strain in your relationship because of money or the lack thereof, do not sweep it under the rug. Show your loved one how much you care by starting that conversation and making a plan together for a better future.

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336-766-7440 • www.FraleighsBoutiqueNC.com Monday-Friday 10am-5pm | Saturday 10am-4pm | 2626 Lewisville-Clemmons Rd. Clemmons, NC 27012 February 2020 | 59

I’m Sorry

When We NEED to Apologize

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

As women, we collectively over apologize. From using it as filler to a defense to not even realizing how much we say it, the phrase “I’m sorry” is generally one I’m trying to help people remove from their language. I bet you’ve apologized more than necessary this week – or even today! – and by more than necessary, I mean when you haven’t hurt anyone, wronged them, or caused harm.

So what happens when you are at fault, it’s not filler, and you hurt someone with your behaviors or actions? Does the phrase “I’m sorry” lose its potency when you say it constantly without meaning?

Sometimes, yes, that’s exactly what happens. That’s when an authentic apology matters.

It’s not easy to apologize – and some of us don’t even realize we make non-apologies all the time.

In this case, it’s more than fillers.

We could truly be in a moment when we have harmed someone or hurt their feelings in some way. Take a moment and think: have you said, “I’m sorry you feel that way”?

Yes? Probably.

That’s not an apology – it doesn’t take ownership of the cause. It also is putting all of the responsibility on the person who is feeling terrible, which makes it sort of the opposite of an apology. Real apologies have two core parts – remorse and acknowledgment. You need to show regret or guilt about your actions that cause pain, and you need to own that it was indeed your actions that caused the pain.

Sounds complicated, right? It’s a lot more than a simple “I’m sorry” that sounds more like a cast-off.

For the times you truly need to – and want to! – apologize, here are a few tips to make it stick and resonate with the person you’ve harmed:

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REMORSE

I mentioned remorse as a foundational part of an authentic apology, and that’s no exception here. When you are apologizing, you need to show true remorse for what you’ve done. That means it can’t be a flippant “Sorry” when you hurt someone close to you!

You have to mean it.

RESPONSIBILITY

Own. What. You. Did. This is why “I’m sorry you feel this way” is a terrible apology. If you think they are wrong, take a moment and step back. See if you are actually “right” or just indignant or mad you got caught.

Then, when you realize that you have to and want to apologize, take responsibility for it. “I’m sorry I made you feel this way” is a much stronger apology than the earlier mentioned terrible apology.

MAKE AMENDS

You’re offering an action to right the wrong – think about the phrase “actions speak louder than words.” Maybe you’ve offered to “make it right” or even a specific action to make things better (if you can – hurt feelings take time, and gestures often feel a bit empty!). Be sure to not just do something because you feel like you have to – empty gestures aren’t effective in authentic apologies. If you make amends with a gesture that you don’t intend on seeing through, you’ll run the risk of upsetting someone all over again – and the need to apologize for real this time.

WHAT NEXT?

Are you apologizing for something preventable? Can you promise not to do it again? Like before, actions speak louder than words, and you’ll have to put effort into rebuilding the trust that was broken in the first place, but whatever you can do to start that process to move forward is generally a good move.

Finally, remember that you cannot make someone forgive you – that’s on them and their time. All you can do is mean what you say and own the wrong.

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February 2020 | 61

Home Therapy “A home is the place where we choose to live, not just a beautiful, complex formula of colors, shapes, and symmetry.

Why not allow it to nurture us as well?” ~ Wendy E. Wrzos

We lived in the Chicago area for five years before moving back to NC in 2004. The winter weather was brutal. Our first January there, we had 33” of snow. Thanks to LL Bean, we had coats and boots to keep us warm. The winters were long and had us longing for spring, warmer weather, and yes, green grass to mow.

Like the summer of 2019, winter can hang around way too long and you may start feeling a little ‘blue.’ There are several things you can do physically to help beat the mild depression, lack of motivation, and low energy that is sometimes referred to as “winter blues.” Exercising, eating a healthy diet, and getting some vitamin D from the sun can help, but did you know that there are things you can do around your home to lift your mood as well? The ideas below just might be an inexpensive form of therapy and may work any time you need a lift: • Feeling Bored: Reorganize your bookshelves. Start by taking everything off the shelves and wipe them clean. Go through the books, pictures, and accessories; decide which ones you want to keep. Trash, give away, or consign those items you no longer want and arrange what is left on the shelves. Check out Pinterest for tips on how to arrange.

• Stressed Out: Light a candle. Just the simple act of striking a match and lighting a candle relieves stress. Choose the scent wisely as some may help to change your mood: lavender helps you relax, citrus…... be more energized, vanilla….will elevate your mood and jasmine may ease depression. If the weather warms and it’s a sunny day, open a window or door and let in some fresh air to help flush out the stale air inside.

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• Tired: Make a space in your home where you can go to read a book, take a nap, sit and look out the window, or meditate. Try to keep this space clutter-free. A blanket, book, pillow, a few favorite photos, and a green plant or two can help make this a happy place to be. My sunroom is that place for me….a favorite place for a Sunday afternoon nap.

• Overwhelmed: Make a list of the things that need to be done. Start with something small and accomplish one task at a time. Then move to the next task. It will feel good to mark these things off your list.

• Cranky: This mood takes a little more effort to overcome. Distract yourself with something physical that takes thought, effort, and energy. Paint a room.

Rearrange your furniture and accessories. Organize a closet, pantry, or garage.

• Feeling Down: Start a gratitude journal and every day write down at least three things for which you are thankful. Once you start, you’ll be surprised how that list will grow, and before you know it, so will your mood.

Spring and warmer weather are coming! Need a little ‘Home Therapy’ help? ReDESIGNS by Ava is available to help you make decisions for kitchen and bath updates, choose new paint colors and furniture, or to do an Interior Redesign using the best of what you have. Call soon for an appointment. You’ll be surprised how a change in your home can lift your emotional well-being.

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The ‘Colored Women’ of Politics

BY BRITTANY M. ORIE LEAK

There is a standout group in the political domain who calls themselves the “Colored Girls.” In a male-dominated career field, these women have made history and revolutionized politics, especially for black Americans. Let’s learn more about the lives and achievements of Donna Brazile, Minyon Moore, Leah Daughtry, and Yolanda Caraway, the Colored Girls who considered politics!

DONNA BRAZILE

Donna Brazile was an exceptional political strategist and campaign manager who worked with big-named democratic candidates such as Jessie Jackson in the 1980s. Brazile was the first black woman to direct a major presidential campaign when she worked as a campaign manager for Al Gore in the 2000 elections. Just two decades earlier, she volunteered for the Jimmy Carter-Walter Mondale presidential campaign back in 1980 when she was still a student at Louisiana State University. A New Orleans native, Brazile became enamored with politics when a local political candidate promised to construct a playground in their city. Perhaps it was then when Brazile discovered how much of a difference a politician can make in a given environment which inspired her to operate in the political world. In high school, she joined Upward Bound, an educational program helping students gain resources and attend college. She served as Chair of the Democratic National Convention (DNC) from July 2016 to February 2017 and now works as a contributor for FOX News.

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MINYON MOORE

Minyon Moore has a diverse resume ranging in career fields from politics to film. It’s hard to determine her general title because she is so dynamic in the political world. Moore is known as a political activist and as one of the country’s top strategic thinkers in political affairs. She is the founder of Women Building the Future (also known as the Future PAC) to ensure that black women are heard in regards to politics— especially during election season. During Bill Clinton’s tenure as president, Moore served as his assistant, Director of White House Political Affairs, and Director of White House Public Liaison. In regards to her interest in film, Moore graduated from Boston University Film School with a concentration in digital filmmaking. She formerly served on the executive board of the Writer’s Guild Foundation with big names in film and television such as Shonda Rimes and Sally Wilcox. Moore has gained various awards and recognitions throughout her political career, with one of them being one of the “100 Most Powerful Women in Washington”

by Washingtonian Magazine!

LEAH DAUGHTRY

Leah Daughtry has meandered through her career life as a political organizer, activist, strategist, and, most recently, an event planner and minister! Born in Brooklyn, New York, she has been gifted with an entrepreneurial spirit which led her to launch Power Rising, an organization created by black women, for black women to uplift them socially, economically, and politically to ensure equality and

representation among black communities.

She is the only member to serve as CEO of the DNC twice (first in 2008, and again in 2016). She has a way of marrying God and politics together and makes sure her political accomplishments are a reflection of His divine character. She believes her strongest gift is “creating calm out of chaos.”

YOLANDA CARAWAY

Yolanda Caraway was very intentional in the political field. She has been a political organizer and director for many campaigns in the 1980s.

Some of her most distinctive accomplishments include serving as director of the DNC’s Fairness Commission in 1985, chief of staff of the National Rainbow Coalition, and helping out with the 1988 Jessie Jackson for President Campaign. In 1990, Caraway served as national coordinator of the first Mayor’s Urban Summit.

This event was such a success that it became a template for subsequent mayoral summits!

Perhaps one of her grandest creations is the Caraway Group she established back in 1987.

The Caraway Group is a public relations agency that specializes in multicultural marketing and public affairs. One of their first clients was Mario Van Peebles. They helped him promote his film, Panther. Caraway is currently serving as the DNC’s Standing Committee on Resolutions.

These women elevated fast in their lanes, but making it to the top wasn’t easy. It took years of fighting and standing up for their beliefs, which makes their rise so powerful.

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Crazy Chocolate Combinations

BY MEGAN TAYLOR

As Valentine’s Day comes around every year, there is one main sweet treat that is on everyone’s mind: chocolate.

No matter whether it is a candy bar, small bite, cake, pie, or sauce, chocolate is a must on February 14th. However, there are times when chocolate needs a little pick me up and something out of the ordinary. We have all heard of the chocolate and bacon combination, but what about chocolatecovered broccoli? Yes, you read that right. Within the past few years, a new food craze that involves covering or dipping different items in chocolate has occurred. Before you head out and pick up your Valentine’s Day chocolate, take a look at these crazy chocolate combinations that might inspire you to try something different this year.

CHOCOLATE-COVERED…

• Potato Chips – Ok, this one isn’t that strange or new.

However, the combination of sweet and salty is a favorite among many.

• Edamame – These green, Japanese soybeans are more on the unique side of foods that go with chocolate. At least eating chocolate with a vegetable makes it seem a little bit healthier, right?

• Corn Dogs – This combo seems as if it is a feature fair food, just don’t look at the number of calories or nutrition information that goes into it.

• Shrimp Chips – Also known as prawn crackers, shrimp chips are colorful fried chips with a shrimp flavoring that are served in many Chinese and Vietnamese restaurants. I wonder how many restaurants serve them covered in chocolate?

• Squid – Now things are starting to get unique in our food list. Calamari is a popular appetizer that is served at many restaurants throughout the world, yet I doubt chocolate calamari will ever catch on in popularity like the original did.

• Chickpeas – A sweet taste and receiving the nutritional benefits of protein and fiber, what more could you want?

Chocolate-covered chickpeas are bold in flavor and the salty and sweet fusion.

covered Cheetos will be hitting the shelves of grocery stores any time soon.

OTHER FOODS THAT PAIR WITH CHOCOLATE:

WHITE CHOCOLATE: • Maple Syrup • Pink Peppercorn • Brie • Wasabi • Lemongrass • Cardamom MILK CHOCOLATE: • Curry Powder • Chai Tea • Pink Himalayan Salt • Asiago • Honey • Lavender

• Mushrooms – Believe it or not, some chefs truly see the combination of mushrooms and chocolate as a great mix.

DARK CHOCOLATE: • Ginger • Chipotle • Banana • Goat Cheese • Salmon • Fennel

• Onions – Just be sure to hold your nose when you are eating them.

• Carrots – To me, carrots and chocolate seem as if they may be good pair. After all, carrots do have a sweeter taste than other vegetables. I would say this fit would be worth trying.

Chocolate is one of my all-time favorite foods. Looking at these combinations, I think some would be a good fit, yet others I will be staying away from.

What pairings would you like to try?

• Pickles – While I’m not a fan of pickles, this combination is a little more realistic for people to eat than some of the others we have discussed.

• Cheetos – Like with chips, there have been many different flavors of Cheetos.

However, I’m not sure chocolate-

• Jalapenos – Let’s just hope the jalapenos aren’t too hot!

• Crickets, Worms, & Scorpions – In many countries, insects are considered a great source of protein and research has stated that crickets, especially, could be a more sustainable alternative to other proteins, such as beef and pork. But what about chocolate-covered crickets? Or chocolatecovered worms? Or chocolate-covered scorpions? That will be a no for me.

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Sync Battle ip L s n o m m le C PM ch 6, 2020 • 7

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February 2020 | 67

A farmer, a bar owner, and a therapist walk into a bar.

Sounds like the beginning of a weird joke, huh? Nope, just our first round of amazing women we’re spotlighting.

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

As a reminder, this column is dedicated to uplifting incredible women that might not be featured in the local news or shouting from the rooftops about their accomplishments.

These are abridged versions of these incredible women: please find them and ask them more!

SAMANTHA FOXX DANIELLE BULL

WHAT MAKES YOU YOU?

Being unapologetically authentic. And being true to who I am, no matter what. I think that is so important in this day and time. And I love that freedom of not needing approval to be who I am.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST PROUD OF?

The will to keep trying and the ability to overcome obstacles.

I like to call it turning lemons into lemonade.

What keeps you going when things are tough? When things get tough, I think about my ancestors and the road they paved for me. I am a firm believer in paying homage and respect to those that came before me. It definitely serves as a driving force to know that I have greatness, strength, and power inside of me to succeed.

WHAT KEEPS YOU UP AT NIGHT?

My art, plus creating new things. I definitely believe art and craftsmanship makes the world a better place. And for me, I want that to be imprinted in my life and around me.

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WHAT MAKES YOU YOU?

ALEXIS OVERSTREET

WHAT MAKES YOU YOU?

I’ve had a lot of life experience for 37. I grew up on a farm and my father owned a construction/grading company. I think that never being told you can’t do something because you are a girl even through the eyes of a small child was something I’ve carried into my adult life. The women in my family, all sides and generations were feisty and proud of it. My love for music, as I’m a firm believer that you can truly get stress out by dancing it out.

Two images: the first one is of me as this little girl, and the other image is of who I am today. The image of me as a little girl is one is of me placing drops of melted ice cream on our driveway and being so fascinated to see the ants’ belly turn white…the memory definitely speaks to why I am unable to call an exterminator for the ants who invade my house every Spring. This sense of curiosity, playfulness, and nurturing has followed me as an adult.

When I lose my way, finding my way back to the girl in the driveway gives me so much life.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST PROUD OF?

I am most proud of being scared and doing it anyway! My marriage and other relationships, my work, my gut intuitions, my lofty ideals, and creations...all of it! There is often a “what if” scenario, and being a black woman raised in the south, those “what if” scenarios rear their heads more often than not; and I find the strength, power (and some wrecklessness) to do it anyway.

The parts of life I couldn’t control that I overcame. I’m proud of my confident 29-year-old self that relentlessly pursued my quest to open a business that I saw vividly in a dream. I’m proud that I fight through lupus every day and keep going. I’m proud that I didn’t blow my life up or lose my business during my father’s illness and death.

WHAT KEEPS YOU GOING WHEN THINGS ARE TOUGH?

What I’ve built with what I had and what it means to me and so many other people.

Remembering that at one point in life, I wanted to be where I am right now.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST PROUD OF?

WHAT KEEPS YOU UP AT NIGHT?

I sleep pretty well...usually due to exhaustion, ha! However, when I am up at night, it is usually related to me trying to change something (or someone) over which I have no control. I usually (not always...but eventually) try finding myself by identifying what actions I can take in order to change the situation. This isn’t easy! Because when you’re up at night lost in the tornado of your thoughts, it takes super human power to jump out of that momentum and force.

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WELCOME 2020 from FORSYTH COMMUNITY Magazine!

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

2020

2020 might be debatable as the beginning or end of a decade, but it’s no argument that something feels very different and special now that we’ve left the awkward “teens” and can say we’re confident in the new roaring 20s.

There is, however, no debate that Forsyth Community is welcoming the refreshing optimism of the ‘20s, and with that, the excitement that is the vibrant and growing community of Clemmons. Every year brings more adventure and this issue is no exception: from milestones (Happy Birthday, Habitat for Humanity!) to stories from the heart (we see you, Clemmons Community Foundation) to connectivity (on the calendar, 11th Annual Community Day), we’re connecting you to everything exciting happening in the dynamic small-town village of LewisvilleClemmons.

For this issue, we asked folks on social media, “Why do you love living in Clemmons?” and during this moment of new year reflection, I’ll ask you to do the same with the minor edit – “Why do you love Clemmons?”

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• Is it your street?

• Maybe the school your kids go to, or the park you frequent with your pup?

• Maybe it’s your favorite coffee shop, sandwich or dinner spot?

• Or maybe it’s because you’ve started a business and you work, live, and play in a community that is large enough to thrive and small enough to plant your roots.

We encourage you to note that love, take the energy and life behind it and share it, and this issue, with a friend. If you’re new here, take some time to explore

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the issue and the community – as the relocation guide, visitor’s guide, and community resource, Forsyth Community has something for everyone, and we can’t wait to hear what you discover this year.

Forsyth Community is the official tourism and relocation guide for the Village of Clemmons and is distributed via Lewisville-Clemmons Chamber of Commerce Office, Welcome Bags; Realtors; All 12 North Carolina Welcome Centers across the state; as well as in and around the Lewisville and Clemmons communities. In addition to this distribution, The Village Inn Event Center in Clemmons provides three-hole-punched copies for each guest room for their 66,000+ annual travelers to peruse, and Super 8 on 6204 Ramada Drive, and Quality Inn & Suites on 6320 Amp Drive also distributes the magazine.

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How to Stand Up for Yourself

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Picture this: You’re feeling wronged. You have hurt feelings. This is more than just a stubbed toe – this is something that has been bothering you for more than a few hours. You know that you have to say something because you can’t just “get over it” – so why can’t you work up the courage to do it?

Speaking up is a scary task – we don’t like rejection! If we speak up, chances are we have to voice our pain and social issues with another person. Those feelings might not be received well and lead to that person rejecting you or your opinion.

It doesn’t have to be like that all the time though!

You can learn to start speaking up for yourself and for others – sometimes it’s a bit easier to speak up for others, but often it’s better to start speaking up for yourself first. The reason? You aren’t this other person; you’re you – even if you know they are upset by what happened, they might not want you to stand up for them, so it creates a very messy situation when you speak up for someone else who isn’t interested in your help.

Whew, worried about how complicated this sounds already? Don’t be! You, too, can get away from feeling like a doormat.

First, let’s think about why we should speak up.

Some people are assertive communicators and

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tend to speak up often – if this is you, great!

If it’s not you, that’s ok! It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t speak up, it just means you haven’t been. If something is bothering you and continues to bother you – or continues to happen – that’s usually when you should speak up. Is worrying about it wasting a large part of your day? Yes? Then you should speak up.

And keep in mind something my therapist tells me: no one can make us feel anything. We have control over our own emotions.

So how can we start to speak up? Here are three tips to get you on the right path – you’ll still have to find the courage yourself:

KNOW WHY

Uncertain what you’re speaking up about?

Just really, really angry? Probably not a great time to speak up. Take a few moments to note why you are speaking up – what was the behavior that upset you? What action happened that led to this feeling? If you can’t identify it in a few sentences, take a breath and try to pull your emotions away from the facts.

You are allowed to be upset, angry, hurt – you should be able to talk about what happened aside from “I’m angry” – especially if you want to speak up.

PULL THEM ASIDE AND MAKE TIME

This one is major and probably the scariest.

Once you have your homework done about what you’re going to say – specifically those few sentences – schedule time to talk to the person you’d like to speak up to. Do not just assault them one day by the coffee pot. Shoot them an email, drop them a call, and tell them you’d like to get on their calendar.

It’s so scary because of the lead-up! You have to make the choice to reach out and then do it, and then show up to the meeting. If you’d like to hold yourself accountable, you can set up time and then do the work around prepping for it – identifying what’s bothering you. If that’s too much pressure, be ready before you ask for the meeting because that other person could say, “How about now?”

Also: it’s a good idea to do this privately and not, say, in front of the office coffee station.

BE ASSERTIVE AND CLEAR

When you’re in the moment, be sure to be assertive and clear. A nice tip is to use as few words as possible. You can say: I feel [this way] when you [did this]. Let them respond and know it might not be resolved after this moment.

And good luck. You’re doing a major thing, and you should be proud of it.

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February 2020 | 73

F E B R U A R Y 1 S T C E L E B R AT E S

SPUNKY OLD BROAD’S DAY

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

Spunky: adjective. Having or showing courage: audacious, bold, brave, courageous, dauntless, doughty, fearless, fortitudinous, gallant, game, hardy, heroic, intrepid, mettlesome, plucky, unafraid, undaunted, valiant, valorous. (Slang) gutsy, gutty.

Introductions can be memorable. Have you ever met a woman, who regardless of her life’s circumstances and trials, maintained a sense of humor, independence and spirit?

We all know someone over the age of 50 who is a tribute to the term “spunk!” And, maybe, that person is you! Do reruns of “The Golden Girls” feel like time spent with good friends who understand what it means to be outspoken and independent? Sure, the body aches, but it’s not a cause to hold your momentum in moving forward and taking on the world. February is the month to celebrate the title of being a Spunky Old Broad with pride!

WHY HAVE A SPUNKY OLD BROAD’S DAY?

In 2002, Dr. Gayle Carson, trademarked February 1st to become an official holiday.

People often inquired about her ability to remain positive and wondered what source inspires her inner-spunk? She put the two together, realizing that 60+ no longer defined a spring chicken, and being an opinionated woman connected too closely to the word, “broad.” It became invaluable for women to live a full and exciting life beyond the age of 50. Carson writes, “This special day exists to give all Spunky Old

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Broads (S.O.B.) a day to recognize their importance, and to celebrate themselves and their accomplishments.”

CREATING ADVENTURE

Surveys claim interesting findings. While individuals who are 55 years of age and older are happy and positive, other polls confirm the information by revealing stress, worry and anger decrease with age. The paradox is the second half of life offers a desire to focus on the present, disregard the nonessentials and reinvent the best aspects of life by establishing guidelines: • Set a Morning Routine: It’s not about concentrating on the “little things.”

Give yourself a new purpose, but first, create a purposeful routine. Would that entail walking or writing in a journal?

The goal is to look ahead!

• Start Small: Give yourself a minimum of one hour each day to a priority. Perhaps you desire to pursue painting, start a blog, become a mentor, finish a novel or learn to swim. By focusing on your interests, you can start small before diving in, literally, with gusto! Invite a friend or two to join you! You’ll help each other stay motivated!

• Get Out and Socialize: Branch out and widen your circle of friends. Look for people who also are living with a purpose. Start sharing your insights on

how to live a grateful life! Exchange ideas.

Work together.

• Expand Pursuits to Change Health: The terms “bold” and “gusty” can apply to wellness, too! Consider a practical approach to health, such as alter poor eating habits or implement a regimen of exercise. Longevity is a driving force, as more women are reaching the age of 100.

With each celebration of a birthday, the year can impose a newfound freedom of independence and life. Becoming older opens a new door, a new chapter, to evolve and welcome the new possibilities.

TO THE FUTURE SPUNKY, OPEN AND BRAVE WOMEN!

It’s never too late to prepare for the future title of a SOB. Today’s women, through the channel of social media, can openly speak out and tell their stories. Janice Stevens, a proud SOB, writes, “Young girls like my daughter, age 41, have a confident disposition and outspoken manner. They openly speak of their lives, network, have a strong support system and a preparedness that did not exist 30 years ago.”

Just remember, whether you are 40-something or thriving in your late 90s, it’s never too late to reinvest the best part of you; therefore, stop fretting the small stuff. Learn a new skill.

Surround yourself with people who make you laugh. This month is a celebration of life’s possibilities and your eternal spunk! Cheers!

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delivering on a promise

BY FAMILY SERVICES

In just a couple of months, Harvard Professor and America’s premier social capital expert, Dr. Robert Putnam, will return to Forsyth County to show us what we can learn from the past century and how we can turn the corner for the well-being of all of our children.

Putnam was the inaugural speaker for Family Services’ Raising Every Child Benefit Luncheon in 2016, so it’s only fitting that he return to see the progress we’ve made during the last four years.

When Putnam spoke four years ago, his message was a call to action.

“We cannot afford to throw away nearly one-third of our smartest kids just because they happen to have parents who make less income,” he said, as he presented his revolutionary research on the “opportunity gap.”

Two years before Putnam’s initial address, Family Services and other local early childhood professionals were already hard at work exploring how to improve both quality and capacity for local preschoolers in Forsyth County.

Since that time, Family Services has invited other influential outside voices to the conversation, including Billionaire philanthropist George Kaiser in 2017, who told local leaders how Oklahoma introduced Universal Pre-K. Later that same year, during the second annual Raising Every Child Benefit Luncheon, Geoffrey Canada of the Harlem Children’s Zone in Harlem, NY, taught a sold-out crowd at the Benton Convention Center that “what happens by age 5 lasts a lifetime.”

“We are not making use of the full potential of all of our children,” Family Services CEO Bob Feikema said.

“People from all walks of life—all political parties, all ages—are really recognizing the value of high-quality early education.”

And last year, Family Services invited Duke University researcher Kenneth A. Dodge, who pioneered a definitive study that showed that the more money North Carolina

It was just a year prior to Putnam’s arrival that Harvard University released a groundbreaking and eye-opening study that found Forsyth County, North Carolina, was among the worst counties in the nation for helping poor children escape poverty. In other words, the ZIP code you were born into was the single biggest factor in determining your future income.

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puts into high-quality Pre-K, the better North Carolina children will fare.

Putnam’s return comes five years after Family Services and others began work on addressing the county’s Pre-K deficiency, and one year after the official launch of the Pre-K Priority initiative, which is a coalition of community organizations and individuals committed to improving the number of affordable, high-quality Pre-K programs available to all four-year-olds in Forsyth County.

For information about Putnam’s visit and what you can do to help Raise Every Child in Forsyth County, visit RaisingEveryChild.org.

“All of us have to become champions and make this a Priority,” Feikema said.

Family Services

February 2020 | 77

7 Facts You May Not Know About

Groundhog Day

BY MEGAN TAYLOR

On Sunday, February 2nd, many people will be watching and waiting to see whether Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow or not. If he does see his shadow, according to the famous legend, there will be six more weeks of winter weather. If he doesn’t, the weather will get warmer and more-spring like.

The fact about seeing his shadow is probably the most wellknown piece of information about Groundhog Day. However, did you know the tradition is actually based off a Christian holiday? Let’s take a look at the Groundhog Day tidbits that most people may not know.

1. Groundhog Day first started in Europe and is based on the Christian holiday, Candlemas Day. On February 2nd, Christians would take their candles to their church and have them blessed, which in return, was believed to bring blessings to their homes for the rest of winter. Over time, Europeans began to see the day and its weather as a coming or going of winter, all thanks to this English folk song.

“If Candlemas be fair and bright, Come, Winter, have another flight; If Candlemas bring clouds and rain, Go Winter, and come not again.”

2. Germany first introduced an animal to the tradition of Candlemas. If a hedgehog saw his shadow on Candlemas Day, then there would be 6 more weeks of bad weather or a “Second Winter.” As Germans began immigrating to the United States, their traditions came with them. However, the United States didn’t have many hedgehogs and a groundhog stepped up to the plate. In Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania in 1886, Groundhog Day first appeared in the local newspaper and the following year, people began to travel to Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney for the historic siting. Gobbler’s Knob is Phil’s home and includes a tree stump as his burrow to hibernate comfortably in.

3. According to Phil’s owners, he is correct 100% of the time in predicting the beginning of spring. However, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration states the animal has “no predictive skills” and has been right only about 65% of the time, since the tradition has started.

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4. In 1899, the Groundhog Club was founded. Today, it is officially known as the Inner Circle and is composed of local dignitaries who are responsible for carrying on the tradition each year, as well as feeding and caring for Punxsutawney Phil. In addition, the group is known for its documentation and preservation of Groundhog Day information, predictions, and archives. Lastly, the Groundhog Club granted Phil the full name of Punxsutawney Phil, Seer of Seers, Sage of Sages, Prognosticator of Prognosticators, and Weather Prophet Extraordinary. Talk about a mouthful!

5. In 1943, Phil decided to sleep in and didn’t show up for his yearly job.

This has been the only time the groundhog didn’t appear on February 2nd in the entire century.

6. On average, a groundhog can live up to 10 years, meaning there have been a few Phils in Groundhog Day history. In the Time magazine article, “4 Crazy Groundhog Day Facts You Probably Never Knew – But Should,” president of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, William Deeley, states “At our summer picnic, we give Phil a shot of this special punch or elixir, and for every gulp he gets, the legend goes he gets seven more years of longevity.” You may wonder what is in that punch…

7. Phil is a married groundhog. Along with his wife, Phyllis, they are kept in lightly heated environment that allows them to wake up on February 2nd.

Will he, or won’t he? That is the main question on February 2nd as all eyes turn to Punxsutawney Phil in Pennsylvania to determine whether winter will be longer or not. Now, as you ponder that decision, you’ll be a little more informed as to the history of Groundhog Day and its loveable tradition.

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February 2020 | 79

SHOULD THIS MEETING BE AN EMAIL?

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

Did you know that 2:30 pm on a Tuesday is the single best time for a meeting? It’s early enough in the week that folks aren’t too tired, late enough but not too late in the day, and past the Monday catch up that I’m pretty sure everyone deals with, no matter what your job looks like.

Did you also know that we’ve all wasted a lot of time being in meetings that should have been emails? Picture this: you’re in a great workflow, working on all of your tasks and PING – a meeting request comes in. You internally groan – and maybe even externally grown – about the drain on your work time. The last time you met, it seemed more like a show and tell than anything else with no schedule, and nothing new has changed since the last meeting, so why is this even happening?!

Breathe.

Let’s make a point in 2020 to stop wasting time on meetings that should be an email. While sometimes other people are responsible for scheduling these time wasters, sometimes, it’s us. And when it IS our doing, we need to stop, take a moment and step back. Here’s a quick rubric to make the most of your meetings:

ARE YOU GIVING INFORMATION THAT NEEDS TO BE KNOWN, WORD FOR WORD?

This should be an email. If you’re getting people together to tell them a new policy or information they need to know, then you are better off writing an email and asking to meet if folks have any questions. If you’re only meeting to tell them the information, you’re going to end up wasting time. People need time to process information, and time is better served with an email and a follow-up meeting if necessary.

HAS THERE BEEN LITTLE TO NO ACTION FROM LAST TIME?

This should be an email. If the content will be people saying over and over again that they have nothing to report, or everything is the same as last time, then you should keep it in the email zone. Nothing to update? No reason to meet.

IS THERE NO CLEAR AGENDA?

Then this should be an email, and maybe not even that. If you have no schedule or focus, there is no reason to call everyone together. You might think it builds a team or connects people, and here’s the deal with adult learners – they have to opt into the learning in order for it to stick. If you are hoping “teambuilding” and bonding happens just because you got people together for a meeting with no schedule, action items, or purpose, think again. You’re going to end up with folks that are resentful that you’re taking their time to get their work done, not employee closeness.

WELL, WE’VE ALWAYS MET FOR UPDATES ON WEDNESDAYS!

Repeat after me; we don’t have to keep doing this. If you’re meeting because you always meet on Wednesdays, but it keeps getting longer and longer because everyone is just venting, then pull it back. This happens with weekly staff meetings that turn into event meetings that turn into initiative meetings.

One of my clients spends almost an entire day a week in back to back meetings, and her staff is only 12, including her. A lot of those meetings need to be converted to a document or email.

ARE THINGS GETTING EMOTIONAL?

This should be a meeting! Tone and cadence are next to impossible to negotiate in an email. Meet when things get loaded, because it’s hard to assume positive intent if people are feeling attacked or stuck.

Before you hit send on that meeting request, take a moment to run your meeting through these points to see if you really need to meet, or if you’re all better served with an email. Trust me – the others will thank you.

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A True GALentine’s Day

BY TABI FALCONE

Couples everywhere celebrate their love and affection towards each other on February 14th each year. Yet, the 13th of February is what draws our attention the most. For this is the most sacred of days for female friendships: Galentine’s Day! Begun by the fictional character (though real in our hearts) Leslie Knope of Parks and Rec fame, Galentine’s Day is a celebration focused on getting together with our gal pals and basking in female empowerment.

To create the perfect Galentine’s Day celebration, first put together your guest list with all your close gal pals. Scheduling the actual time/date can vary wildly depending on your schedules, so be flexible. Whether you choose an intimate girl’s night or a large brunch party – do what feels good for you and your friends. A crucial part of this holiday is a craft that empowers you and your guests! See below suggestions, but remember that the sky is the limit and you can take these ideas and adjust them to fit your party perfectly.

TRADESIES

Encourage all participants of the party to bring a painting idea for the wine and paint portion of the evening. To help support any friends who may be stuck on what to paint, it’s also a good idea to find some inspiration ideas on Pinterest and have a few idea printouts available. If you have easels available at your disposal, have them set up in advance, along with a mixture of paints, brushes, and cocktails and/or mocktails.

Enjoy everybody’s company while you paint, and don’t forget to have a great playlist going to keep the energy up! When all participants are complete with their creations, put everybody’s names on pieces of paper and place them in a bowl. Passing around the bowl, have each participant choose a piece. The name they choose is whose painting they go home with!

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INTENTION PAINTING

Have a few canvases prepped with some type of background – either solid colors or even splatter painting and have them dried by the time everybody shows up. Make sure you have enough sharpies for each party-goer and spend some time writing down on the canvas your intentions for the year. Really think about what you want to accomplish in your year, and the positive thoughts you want to send out into the universe. When you have completely filled the canvas with your intentions, pick out a few words that you want to stand out and paint over the rest of them – either with a solid color or a washed down paint to give a sheer semi-opacity look. Continue to decorate the painting with splatter or even glitter until you feel proud of it. Each participant can then take this home and hang it up in their space to empower them to follow their dreams.

AFFIRMATION COLLAGE

Have everybody at the party write a few positive adjectives to describe each person at the table. You can choose the amount of adjectives based on how many people are at the party, and how big the collages are that you want to complete. Each person should come prepared with a printed out photo of themselves, in which they feel powerful or beautiful, or just good about themselves.

On a piece of paper, glue the photo and then build a collage surrounding it using the adjectives as well as any additional medium desired. Suggestions for additional supplies for collage building are old magazines/books, glitter, confetti, scrapbook paper, etc. ProTip: if you want to be extra (in the spirit of Leslie Knope), supply an art mat and photo frame to send each of your gal pals home with a literal masterpiece of themselves.

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Empty Bowls

February 2020 | 83

Elderberry

BY LISA S.T DOSS

The cultural knowledge of herbs is not entirely lost. Tea drinkers rely on the dried contents to find a remedy for either the onset of an ailment or to improve health. It seems too simple; drinking hot infused herbs or sprinkling an herb over food. Once upon a time, herbal lore was instinctual, just like the hand wanders into a cupboard to find a word like oregano, lavender or peppermint written on a box or glass bottle. The basic knowledge of medicinal plants may still be in our genes, growing like the plant, wildl, and needing understanding.

Medicinal plants have touched upon the human race for centuries. Why not take time to learn about the versatile qualities of the elderberry?

The love of elderberry, also called the elder plant, dates back to the time well before 460 BC. The man known as the father of medicine, Hippocrates, referred to the herb as the medicine chest of all herbs. While promoting endless benefits, the shrub, from the bark to the leaves, the flowers and berries have a super strong medicinal value. Store shelves offer products, which includes a potent, natural ingredient, elderberry.

THE APPEARANCE

Elderberry, recognizable for its wine-colored branches leading to while flowers in spring or clusters of dark purple berries by summer, is often mistaken for a tree. In its mature state, the elder can expand to a height of 30 feet tall. Drivers will discover it alongside the roads growing wild.

GROW YOUR OWN

If you want to collect cuttings, go far from the roadside to find a chemical-free shrub. Choose a woody branch, roughly four to six inches in length. Allow the sip to soak in water for a day before applying a rooting hormone and planting in a small cup near the kitchen window.

Water with a spray bottle until roots form; then, transplant. It takes three years before berry clusters form.

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In addition to making elderberry wine, jams and jellies, you can also try making a cough syrup or tea, which includes equal parts elderflowers, peppermint leaves and yarrow flowers. All of which grow either in your garden or wild!

PURPOSE OF ELDER FLOWERS

In tea, the result is a diaphoretic reaction, which means blood will rise to the surface of the body resulting in a feeling of warmness.

For those individuals who are consistently cold, elder is an excellent remedy. (Add a cinnamon stick for flavoring.)

The opposite is valid for a hot-blooded person. Blood will rise to the surface and induce sweating, releasing heat. Elder can open pores and travel through vessels in every channel of the body to, for instance, allow the lungs to receive air, cause the bowels to move and cease spasmodic coughs.

Folklore speaks of the magical connection between elderflowers and a boost of confidence, strength or prosperity. Need a talisman for an upcoming interview; then, carry a flower in your pocket or soak in a warm bath infused with its scent.

PURPOSE OF THE BERRIES

In thinking about antioxidants, elderberry has a higher power to boost the immune system than blueberries and goji berries.

Because the berries cannot be eaten directly from the shrub, boil the berries first.

The result is an abundant supply of vitamins A and C. Doses of elderberry syrup can combat colds and the flu. A study in 2016 revealed elderberry lessened the duration of a cold by two days and significantly reduced the severity of its symptoms. The outcome provided a benefit, whether the form was a capsule, lozenge, syrup, tea or tincture.

Start looking at your tea and medicine boxes, and you’ll find elderberries are also used to treat viral infections from herpes and shingles to upper respiratory infections. One herb often added to combat sickness is echinacea, the beautiful coneflower.

Next Month: Echinacea

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Kingery & Kingery

February 2020 | 85

Everything in Moderation

BY MEGAN TAYLOR

Most of the time, when a person talks about “something in moderation,” they are referring to food. For example, you can eat anything you want, just in moderation, meaning you can’t eat sweets and carbs all the time and stay healthy. However, the theory “everything in moderation” goes beyond food. It can be applied to social media, technology usage, and more. According to dictionary. com, moderate can be defined as “kept or keeping within reasonable or proper limits; not extreme, excessive, or intense.” When you are doing or using something in moderation, you are setting boundaries for yourself and creating balance and wholeness. However, it is important to hold yourself accountable for the limitations you set.

Achieving moderation and a comfortable balance can be hard at first. As humans, we have the tendency to push things to the extreme, such as overworking, over-exercising, and overeating. We keep wanting to do more, be more, and have more. Some think the more we work, the more money we’ll have. When you do everything in moderation, you are adding more joy and happiness to your life. You

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are taking away depriving yourself and preventing overindulgence of certain things.

Start by breaking down the big picture aspects.

WORK

Try not to take work home with you. Sometimes this isn’t possible. If you do have to continue working at home or have tasks that need to be done, set a stop time each night. For example, at eight o’clock, you are finished for the day and everything you didn’t do will be completed tomorrow. Try the same commitment to working on the weekends.

STRESS

It is hard to put stress into moderation because you never know what will be thrown at you.

However, you can schedule in self-care and time to de-stress. Set aside an evening for a walk and a warm bath. It is all about establishing a life full of wellness and less stress.

TECHNOLOGY

Technology is one of the biggest areas that most people could put into moderation, including myself. Our lives are lived through screens these days, whether it is a television, computer, iPad, or phone. It can be a timesaver or a time killer,

depending on how much you use it and for what.

This year, let us pledge to put down our forms of technology and enjoy moments through our eyes rather than a screen. Set a time each night to power down your devices, or limit yourself to only a certain amount of time on a device or on social media each day. Don’t you get tired of having a screen in your face most of the time? I know I do. Take a walk outside, watch a movie, or do something that fulfills you that doesn’t include technology.

FOOD & EXERCISE

These two aspects are different for every person and are based on their health/nutritional needs.

With food, limit your intake of sweets and other junk food. For exercise, try not to overdo it. Listen to your body and your doctor’s advice. Thirty minutes of physical exercise is recommended daily. Part of maintaining a healthy lifestyle includes rest and relaxation.

After looking at the bigger parts, take inventory, and see what moderation you can add into other parts of your schedule. Too much or too little of something can cause problems. The key to “everything in moderation” is doing what works for you in order to maintain a happy, healthy, and balanced life.

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February 2020 | 87

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Your coworkers are not your family.

I don’t care if you love them.

It doesn’t matter if you hate them.

If you’ve been there for five minutes or five years – they are not your family.

You might already be feeling this – or fighting it. Hear me out: your family, whether it is chosen or blood, is your actual family. You will forgive faster, put up with more, overlook things – starting to see why I’m adamantly against calling coworkers family? Here’s a story: I was working at a very well known institution, and my boss called us all “family” – something felt really weird and off about it, but so is my relationship with my blood family, so it’s fine. Only work got weirder, and I couldn’t write it off as “Oh, that’s just how mom is” – my boss would demand we work over 40 hours because “We’re all in this together!” and throw crying fits when we pushed back because “You’re just trying to get me in trouble.” Worse, when someone wanted to spend more time with their actual family, specifically their partner?

“You were such a better worker before you two were together.”

Yikes, right?

I hope you’re not in a situation like this – this is pretty seriously toxic if we have to place it on a spectrum. That being said, I’ve heard

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glimmers of my story in others’ work lives. Best case scenario? You’ve called your coworkers your family, or been called family by coworkers, and some discomfort. Worst case? You’re excusing bad behavior with the family label – or participating in unprofessional behavior yourself.

How can you pull back if you are in the uncomfortable zone of a work “family” and start the path to work-life integration – because we all know it’s never a perfect balance? Here are three ways to start:

PULL BACK – LITERALLY

If you’re in a weird situation with a work family, you have to take some action to get out of it. By setting work hours for yourself – both when you’re at work and when you’re accessible by email or phone (text included!), you’re setting a boundary. And remember, boundaries don’t always feel good; they are meant to keep you safe.

If you can’t help yourself and need to email in off-hours, try keeping the emails in your draft until the morning, or schedule them to go out during work hours. Or, better yet, don’t check your email or respond to work texts when you aren’t working.

ARM’S LENGTH

The family feel is often backed up when you’re too open at work. Yes, your job can know about your new pup, a cool upcoming vacation or even a fun restaurant you found. No, your job doesn’t need to know the intimate details of your life outside of work. By opening up in a way that some might deem as “oversharing,” you’re opening yourself up to a closeness that might lead to that family feel.

ration

If someone else is sharing a lot more than you’d like to be part of, finding a way to politely leave the conversation is usually a good hint to your coworker. Once I was at a different job and my boss would tell me details about her relationship – all the time. I found myself leaving every conversation with an “I have a lot of work to do, and I don’t want to get behind!”

She eventually got the point.

HAVE A CONVERSATION

If she hadn’t gotten the point?

An assertive conversation would have happened. This one is hard for a lot of people, especially when you’re moving from a “family-like” workplace to one that is focused on work. It might even feel a bit like a breakup, and that’s ok. Being transparent, not placing blame, and being clear and concise are your best bets for an assertive conversation.

Good luck, and remember, your family is your family - and your coworkers are just that. Coworkers.

T H E G R I L L E AT T H E G L E N

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Marg n i d n a r ne B i l e m i T a i icing www.GrilleAtTheGlen.com r d e P M g l n a i t i e c o k S - 5pm | Wednesday -nFriday 1000 Glen Day Dr., Clemmons, NC 27012 | (336) 712-1010 | Monday Closed |iTuesday 10:30am - 5pm M-a9pmr | Saturday - Sunday 10am ng 10:30am l g l n e i S d a r y y t t i B i v ucti uctiv line e d d o o m r r i P T P g g a n n i i i c c d i al al Me i g Pr i c n ng Pri c o i i o t t S e e S k k r r g g a a n n i i M M l l Sel Sel ing d ding y n t y t i a i v r v i t i B t c c e u u ine n d l i d o e l o r e r m P i m P i T T g g n n a i i c i a edi Pri Med M l g g Pric n l a i i a t c i e o c k o S r S a g M n ari ng l i M g l l n e l i e S g d S n n i a y d r t n y i t B a v i line ducti ne Br e o i ductiv r l m e i P T m i g T a n i i c d i a e r i icing r d M P e P l M g a n i g l i c n t o a i e t i S e c k r o k Mar ling ng S i g Ma n l g i l n e i d n S d n a r a r y B t B i e n ivity e iv t t i n c c l i u e u l e d d m o o i m r r i T P T P a edi cing to Take SYour edia ricing riReady M P P l al a i g g i c n n c o i i o t t S e e k k r r g g a a n n i i M M l l Sel Sel to the NextneLevel? ing Creative Business d y n t y t i a i v r randing v i t i B t c c u u ine d l i d o e l o r e r m P i m P i T T g g n n a i i c i a c editogether!arketing Pri Med M do it l l a i a c i o c o S keting Pri SellinLet’s S g M n g One Crafty Miss ty Selli arM g n i g d n n i a d r n y i t B a v i ducti ne Br o i r l e P m Productiv l Media Timeline i g T n i c i a r i icing r d P e P M g a n i g l i c n t o a i e t i S e c k r o k Mar ng S i g Ma n l g Selling i l n e i d n S d n a r a r y B t B i e n ivity e iv t t i n c c l i u e u l e d d m o o i m r r i T P T P a edia ricing ricing Medi M P P l al a i g g i c n n c o i i o t t S e e S k k r r g g a a n n i i M M l l el www.onecraftymiss.com/coaching Sel SCall ng Up Now for Your FreeucConnection ing d y n t y t i a i v r v i t i B BrandiSign t c e u n d i d o l o r e r Jerez | Taryn@onecraftymiss.com mel P i m P i T T g g n n a i i c i a c i i d i r r e d Taryn e P M ing ial M al www.onecraftymiss.com t c i e o c k o S keting P OneSeCrafty r S a g M n g i n Miss, LLC l i Ma g l l e l in S g d n n i a y d r t n y i t B a v i r i v t e i c B n t c i u e el elin Prod Tim@One m Produ @onecraftymissblog i g T a n i i c d i a e r i ici r d M P Crafty Miss @0necraftymiss e P l M g a n i g l i c n t o a i e t i S e c k r o k Ma Mar ng S i g n l g Selling i l n e i d n S d n a r a r y B t B i February 2020 | 89 ne ivity e iv t t i n c c l i u e u l e d d m o o i m r r i T P T P a i ng ng ia I help Makers and Creatives have the confidence to go after what they want in their business and make more money doing what they love.

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Winter

The Season of Wonder

BY JEAN MARIE JOHNSON

Pulling out of a parking lot late one winter afternoon, my eyes were drawn upward to a large, soaring bird as she graced the stark winter sky. Instinctively, and just in the nick of time, I returned my gaze downward to barely avoid careening into my unsuspecting neighbor.

Therein lies the “risk” of winter for me: it is utter amazement and distraction. The newness of that crisp, compelling stillness enraptures me as the bare-bones landscape draws me into its mystery. It is in this season that I feel most attuned to nature’s cyclical beat. That may not be your experience; I “get” the grousing and “funk” that winter’s presence evokes in so many. I understand the version of “expectant experience” that, holidays aside, paints winter as a dreaded passage to endure in anticipation of the fullness of spring.

But that’s not my version. Not by a longshot. I look forward to winter in the Southeast, where nature beckons gently, as a beloved sister would, then invites me inward. Heeding the season’s call, I put my spring-ready To-Do list ON HOLD and resist the temptation to rush things. Resisting the temptation to rush things is a life skill, a practice that gifts us with more presence and more engagement with what is. Here are five joyful ways you can settle into these last soulful weeks of this season of wonder:

CHECK YOUR MINDSET… AND YOUR AUTO-PILOT

Are you stuck in an entrenched habit of thinking of winter as a period of time to “get through”? Do you automatically nod in agreement and join in the chorus of winter woe-mongers who put an emotional damper on this necessary season? Why do that to yourself? It’s not good for your emotional well-being, and it interferes with your ability to create a positive experience. Instead, replace a thought such as “I really don’t enjoy winter” with “I’m committed to experiencing this season in fresh, new ways.”

FOLLOW MOTHER NATURE’S EXAMPLE

Oscar Wilde once observed that, “Wisdom comes with winters.”

There is no better time to hibernate, to go within, and to renew yourself.

The shorter days mean longer evenings that lend themselves to reading, meditating, or a long and meaningful, old-school phone conversation. That said, if cabin fever or warm weather deprivation provokes a primal need to howl like the wind every once in a while, go ahead, allow yourself that cathartic release. You will be the better for it when you settle back into stillness.

OPEN YOUR HEART AND YOUR EYES

Consider these wise words from the poet Robert Frost: “The way a crow Shook down on me The dust of snow From a hemlock tree Has given my heart A change of mood And saved some part Of a day I had rued” While spring and summer draw us into a full-on experience of natural beauty, winter’s beauty calls quietly and often discreetly. If your heart needs a “change of mood,” you have only to look and to see what is right there, in the rosemary that continues to thrive, the black lace of

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branches overhead, the gurgle of water in a melting stream, the blossoming bush in your neighbor’s yard.

ATTEND TO YOUR HEARTH

What better time than now to focus on all of those little projects that pile up throughout the year? For me it is about reorganizing the closets, discarding and deleting paperwork and files that are no longer relevant, and in many small ways, aligning my living space with how I want to feel right now in my own little nest.

THINK OUTSIDE OF THE HEARTH

The wise women in my circle focus on a number of joyful ways to experience winter. They’re gathering for a “Ladies Only” Firepit Friday, an afternoon at a local winery, a day trip to a small town they’re curious about.

They are seeking new experiences while also invoking those that are tested and true.

The first new buds, the returning birds, the warmer temperatures – all will arrive in their own, preordained time. For now, breathe in the cool, crisp air, then embrace and enjoy what remains of this season of wonder.

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What Did I…?

THE REASONS WHY WE FORGET

BY MEGAN TAYLOR

It happens to us all. We walk into a room and forget why we are in there and what we meant to do. We start talking and forget what we are going to say. We forget that item from the store that we were sure we would remember.

Forgetting is a common problem that can be easily explained, as well as tips and tricks to help you remember the big and small tasks. In essence, the information stored in your memory becomes inaccessible and unavailable at times, either in your short-term memory or long-term memory. According to memory researcher Elizabeth Loftus, forgetting information can be broken into four reasons: retrieval failure, interference, failure to store, and motivated forgetting.

RETRIEVAL FAILURE

Retrieval failure is the inability to remember something, or if you are positive you know something but can’t seem to recall it. Part of this step is the decay theory. This theory states that the fewer times you retrieve a memory, the more it will fade away.

Eventually, the memory will disappear and will be lost. Retrieval failure happens mainly in short-term memory.

INTERFERENCE

There are two types of interference, both relating to the phenomenon in which memories can compete with each other and push to the front of a person’s mind.

Proactive interference occurs when an old memory interferes with a new memory, making it more difficult to remember recent things. The opposite of this theory is retroactive interference, where new information interferes with the ability to remember older memories and information.

One way to help ease the competition between memories is by rehearsing or constantly remembering new information and memories.

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FAILURE TO STORE

Think about the items on your mental grocery list before writing them down.

Do you need to know these items five years from now? Probably not – you’ll just need to remember them for a short time. This memory will never make it to long-term memory. Failure to store information can be seen in the common penny experiment. Researchers have asked participants to identify the correct version of the United States penny out of a group of incorrect pennies. Studies have found that most participants remember the shape and color, but not the minor details of the coin. This shows that the only details you need to remember are passed along to your longterm memory and to correctly identify a penny, a person doesn’t have to know the smaller words and images. Therefore, some of our short-term memories only store the information needed for the bigger pictures and long-term memory.

Want to try the penny experiment for yourself? A Google search, “penny memory experiment,” pulls up many websites with penny images. I used the Common Cents website at annex. exploratorium.edu/exhibits/common cents/. Trust me; it is harder than it looks.

MOTIVATED FORGETTING

There are some things a person doesn’t want to remember. Maybe it is a traumatic or painful event or experience.

Whether you realize it or not, a person is consciously and subconsciously eliminating these types of memories through motivated forgetting. Through suppression, a person is consciously trying to forget things and repression is the unconscious form of forgetting. Bad memories are less likely to be discussed or remembered, allowing the brain extra motivation to forget.

TIPS AND TRICKS TO IMPROVE YOUR MEMORY

One of the best ways to strengthen your memory is by rehearsing or continually remembering important information and events. Other techniques include: • Chunking: Grouping pieces of information together, such as remembering foods by where they are located in the grocery store.

• Patterns: The human brain thrives on patterns, whether it is through using numbers, mnemonics, or acronyms.

• Good Habits: Getting enough sleep and exercise is always helpful.

• Foods: Eating foods like walnuts, blueberries, whole grains, and olive oils to boost your memory.

The brain is a complex creature with a mind of its own. Forgetting memories and pieces of information is a daily reoccurrence. Just like your body, your mind needs exercising as well and will help improve your memory.

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February 2020 | 93

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February 2020 | 95

Got 20 Minutes?

TUNE IN TO FORSYTH MAGS PODCAST!

BY JEN OLENICZAK BROWN

A few statistics to set the stage: • 30 million episodes as of December 2019.

• 800,000 different shows.

• 51% of the US population has listened to a podcast – 144 million people!

• 50% of all homes are podcast friendly – that’s over 60 million homes!

All of these numbers are climbing daily, and we’re oh, so excited to join this popular medium. We’re proud to introduce you to our new podcast, headed by one of our fearless Forsyth Magazines leaders, Brooke Eagle.

Before we dive into our podcast, the uptick in this medium seems only natural. Episodes can be listened to in the car, at the gym, at work – they can be saved for road trips or runs – and the best part? Free!

Makes perfect sense that Forsyth Magazines would have our own, and while my opinion is biased, I encourage you to check it out yourself. I got a chance to sit down with Brooke to talk about the podcast, aptly named Forsyth Mags and available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, with a link to listen on our Instagram account @forsythmags.

Brooke wasn’t brewing this idea for months or even weeks – you might call her an accidental podcast host. “I went to be a guest on a podcast a couple of months ago, unwillingly, to be honest – completely out of my comfort zone!

Once we got started, I immediately fell in love with it. The microphones, the equipment, the authentic conversation…I jokingly told the host of the show (Tim Beeman) that I should start a Forsyth Mags podcast, and he said, “No, you actually should!” After a few days of not being able to stop thinking about it, I moved forward. I’m decisive and knew this was something that I was passionate about and wanted to pursue.”

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It’s refreshing she did – while there are so many podcasts out in the world, Forsyth Mags is zippy and hyperlocal – only 20 minutes or less, which makes it perfect for that drive to work, dog walk or lunch break. Every episode features a business or individual, and there’s no overly scripted tight structure.

“We’re simply having an authentic conversation and learning about their ‘why’ and ‘how’ in life,” says Brooke, “It has a behind-the-scenes feel and gets to know some people on a different wavelength.” Guests already include Cheri and Justin Lingafelt behind Accent Prone, Dr. Summer from Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics, DJ Hargrave with Twin City Fashion Week and more. “I’m really excited about all of the upcoming episodes, but in the next couple of months I have two photographers on specifically talking about collaboration over competition, a topic I absolutely love!”

Speaking of behind the scenes, one of the biggest things Brooke finds herself doing is calming nerves before recording – not hers, but those of the guest – because most of them haven’t been on many, if any, podcasts.

“They’re naturally a little nervous, but the coolest thing is that 100% of the time they tell me afterwards that it was so much more fun and easy than they had expected!”

Listeners can expect a new episode every Thursday, and should expect love for the local community. “I love Winston-Salem and learning more about the great people involved in it,” says Brooke, “I get to just talk to people – which I love – and it’s an absolute honor to highlight all of these great people!”

Tune into Brooke and Forsyth Mags on Spotify and Apple Podcasts every Thursday – and let us know what you think by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or shoot us an email.

Men Who Cook

February 2020 | 97

BY TARYN JEREZ

Let’s set the scene. Your alarm goes off and the only thing within your line of sight is complete darkness because the sun hasn’t risen yet. Your new year’s resolution to wake up earlier is echoing in the back of your mind calling to you, but so is the warmth of your bed. (The very same bed that you haven’t been able to force yourself out of just yet.) Inevitably, you hit the snooze button on your phone and continue to collect an additional hour of sleep between alarm intervals.

Does this sound familiar?

There are so many benefits to waking up early and jumping into your day with intention. So, why haven’t you been able to embrace this early bird routine just yet? You’ve been believing the lie that you aren’t a morning person. The reality is, most people will never know if they’re a morning person because they’ve never given themselves a chance to truly find out.

If you’ve been wondering if the early bird really gets the worm, here are some steps you can take to improve your routine to finally find out for yourself!

PREP THE NIGHT BEFORE.

One of the key things that causes stress in the morning is the feeling of being rushed!

This tends to happen due to not being prepared for what is needed to get going and out the door. Being disciplined about setting time aside at night to prepare things like choosing clothing, packing lunch or a gym bag, putting school paperwork

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together for the kiddos, and anything else that would usually have to wait until the morning is beyond helpful in making mornings feel smoother.

GO TO BED EARLIER.

This is the painfully obvious one, but one of the hardest for most people. With days that demand so much from us, it can be tempting to stay up into the wee hours of the night.

Setting an alarm to remind you to begin winding down and getting ready for a good night’s sleep can help you stick to a bedtime that will support your earlier morning wake up. On average, it’s important to get 7-8 hours of sleep per night, so plan around this.

LIMIT YOUR SCREEN TIME.

Isn’t this something we would tell our children? Yes, but adults can benefit from reduced screen time as well, especially 2 hours before bed. The blue light that your electronic screens give off on items such as cell phones, iPads and computers can actually affect your vision and keep you awake. Light, in general, can actually suppress the secretion of melatonin, which helps regulate your body’s sleep cycle, but blue light is proven to do so even more drastically.

USE A REAL ALARM CLOCK.

Most people nowadays use the alarm feature on their smartphones; however, getting a separate alarm clock is actually one of the best things for a strong morning routine.

By incorporating an alarm clock near your bed, this allows you to charge your cell phone in another location away from your bed. This will help with limiting screen time but also decrease the chance of distraction, keeping you awake longer at night or lingering in bed in the morning.

FEED YOUR SOUL AND YOUR STOMACH.

Not having your cell phone in arm’s reach while in bed, another elimination is made: mindless consuming and

(Yes, It Is Possible)

How to Become a

scrolling. While something we all tend to do, try to be in charge of what you’re consuming! Rather than scrolling through social media or reading the news, take some time to do something that feeds your soul first thing in the morning. You can read, do 10 minutes of journaling, have some prayer or meditation time, or practice gratitude. Don’t forget to make time to eat breakfast, even if it’s something small to give you that much needed energy you’ll need to start your day.

REWARD YOURSELF.

A strong morning routine should help you feel more in control of your morning, of course, but also your entire day and ultimately a little more in control of your life! As you make these changes to become more of a morning person, make sure you can easily see what that “reward” starts to look like for you. Is it finally having time to hit the gym or carve out time to work on your side hustle? Maybe you are enjoying going to bed early and getting some reading in for the first time in months? Really zero in on what the benefits have been to keep yourself motivated and to continue with your changes.

Remember, it takes 21 days to form a habit. Start incorporating some of these steps into your daily routine over time to embrace your early riser and get more out of your mornings!

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CHRISTINA HENDERSON

Christina Henderson has been a valued employee of Two Maids and a Mop for about a year. This company is a professional and respectful company that cares for the community and is always willing to help out in any way. Christina is very reliable and takes pride in her job so much so that her customers know and ask for her by name. She is a leader and always does what’s right regardless of the situation. Christina is kind and compassionate to her customers and always steps up to do extra when needed. “I enjoy the ladies I work with,” said Christina. “We as a team have helped the company grow so much within the year of me being a part of Two Maids and a Mop. The bosses are amazing not only to the staff but to our customers, also. My biggest accomplishment is getting to know and helping other people in the community. We care for our customers as if they were family.”

RHONDA GILLIAM

Rhonda Gilliam works for Two Maids and a Mop. She has been in the residential house cleaning business for 20 years and is an asset to the team. According to her boss, “Rhonda is very dependable and reliable. She is very organized and is my second brain. Even though she is quiet, she is very observant, a great listener and a problem solver. Working with 10 women isn’t an easy thing much less managing them and me. However, she does it like a champ and finishes my thoughts. She is a vital part of Two Maids and a Mop. Not only does she assist me in managing the office on the days I’m in the office, she is out cleaning houses, meeting customers and getting to know the houses. She prefers to work behind the scenes and not be the face of the company, but without her, it would be chaos three days a week! She never passes up an opportunity to do anything I ask or that she sees that will make us better.” Rhonda is currently working on a bachelor’s degree in business management with a concentration in accounting from Strayer University. In her spare time, Rhonda enjoys football, softball and spending time with her husband and kids.

ERIKA MIELKE

The Professional Women of Winston-Salem is excited for Erika Mielke to serve a second term on its board as Program Committee Chair. Erika Mielke is a principal with Arbor Investment Advisors. After practicing law with a focus on estate planning, Erika moved into the financial services industry in 2004 providing financial planning and investment management services. She earned her bachelor of science degree in economics and business administration from St. Norbert College in DePere, Wisconsin and her juris doctor from Marquette University Law School in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Since moving to Clemmons in 2008, Erika has been an active community volunteer serving on various boards including The Ronald McDonald House, Second Harvest Food Bank of Northwest North Carolina, Old Salem Museum and Gardens, and the Advisory Group of the Comprehensive Cancer Center at Wake Forest Baptist Health.

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KELLY LAEL

Kelly Lael is the President of Lael Homes and with her husband, Andrews, is in the business of creating beautiful homes. Kelly has an enviable eye for detail, color, texture and is adept at finding the perfect accent piece. She creates beautiful spaces that are the talk of the neighborhood!

Moreover, Kelly’s commitment to creating her clients’ vision (not hers) has firmly established her as a trusted resource with impeccable taste. Whether her clients are looking for traditional, transitional or contemporary designs – Kelly works closely with her clients to create warm, inviting spaces that exude style and function. Kelly attended Salem College in Winston-Salem and is a member of the interior design society. But, the industry is in her blood. Her family’s remodeling and interior design business gave her a foundation for her future career in the industry. In her spare time, Kelly loves to spend time with her family and friends, as well as spoil her two fur-babies, Maggie and Sadie.

SARA-ANNE AVERETT BELL

TRU Taekwondo is pleased to announce the recent hire of Sara-Anne Averett Bell, who has joined the TRU Taekwondo Team as the director of marketing and communications. With these roles, Sara-Anne will continue to develop and maintain TRU Taekwondo’s brand and identity, communicate effectively internally and externally to students, and parents, as well as lead and facilitate community relations across all four TRU Taekwondo locations. After working as an educator for the last four years in WSFCS, with a master’s degree in Teaching TESOL from the University of Greensboro, Sara-Anne developed a specialty in communicating and partnering with many different people in that student’s life to meet the needs of one student. With a skill set from Meredith College where she earned a bachelor’s of arts degree in graphic design, minoring in both photography and studio art, she will be bringing a high level of understanding of how branding, identity and design can be used to effectively communicate with students, parents and partners of TRU Taewkondo. “I am thrilled to be a part of the team,” said Sara-Anne. “Using my skills from both my undergrad and graduate programs cohesively will serve as a strong suit. In addition, my passion for serving others and meeting people where they are at has already proven to be rewarding and exciting.”

DR. ASHLEY RICKEY Dr. Ashley Rickey is a vascular surgeon with Novant Health Vascular and Vein Specialists. She earned her undergraduate degree from Clemson University and her medical degree from the Medical University of South Carolina. Dr. Rickey is also very involved with her church and is planning a mission trip to Belize in the spring. In her spare time, she enjoys spending time outdoors, hiking and kayaking with her husband, a surgeon as well, and her young children. She is also a huge Clemson football fan and attended the national championship in New Orleans last month.

February 2020 | 101

Ina Garten’s

Linguine with Shrimp Scampi

BY SARA WILES

I am all about spending Valentine’s Day at home these days. Forget the chocolates, teddy bears and cards; I will gladly accept a beautiful home cooked meal and a large glass of red wine. In the past, my husband and I have spent the night in, cooking a delicate steak or another one of our favorite dishes. This shrimp scampi is on my menu for this year because #1. Ina Garten does no wrong, and #2. It’s a real treat that is comforting and easy. I hope you enjoy your holiday, whether you are celebrating with yourself or with someone special!

INGREDIENTS

DIRECTIONS

Vegetable oil 1 tablespoon kosher salt plus 1 ½ teaspoons ¾ pound linguine 3 tablespoons unsalted butter 2 ½ tablespoons olive oil 1 ½ tablespoons minced garlic (about 4 cloves) 1 pound large shrimp, peeled and deveined ¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper ¼ cup chopped fresh parsley ½ lemon zest ¼ cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (about 2 lemons) ¼ lemon, thinly sliced in half rounds 1/8 teaspoon hot red pepper flakes

Drizzle oil in a large pot of boiling salted water, add 1 tablespoon of salt and linguine and cook for 7 to 10 minutes, or according to the directions on the package.

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Meanwhile, in another large pan, melt the butter and olive oil over medium-low heat. Add garlic. Sauté for 1 minute. Add the shrimp, 1 ½ teaspoons of salt, and the pepper and sauté until the shrimp have just turned pink, about 5 minutes, stirring often. Remove from the heat, add the parsley, lemon zest, lemon juice, lemon slices and red pepper flakes. Toss to combine.

When the pasta is done, drain the cooked linguine and put back in the pot. Immediately add the shrimp and sauce, toss well to serve.

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February 2020 | 103

BY TARYN JEREZ OF ONECRAFTYMISS.COM

The 2 Words You Need to Focus On When It Comes to Content This column is meant to serve as a resource for readers who seek inspiration and knowledge for building their own small business brands. Through actionable advice, find the encouragement to help you keep living your life with hustle and heart.

From the moment your customer opens their eyes in the morning to the time they fall asleep at night, they have consumed content from a multitude of industries, personalities, and platforms.

The idea that every piece of content that we create as business owners will be something life-changing for our customers or our business is obviously not a realistic thought. Do we hope that we’re creating content that matters and makes a difference? Of course! But how can you compete when the entire universe seems to be pumping out content a million miles a minute, all in an effort to win over the consumers of the world?

The answer to this question is one that receives a lot of different answers from social media gurus and marketing experts, but when it comes down to it, I believe the answer is pretty simple: you can’t.

If your goal as a brand is to win over every consumer opportunity there is, I think it’s important for you to find a new goal. At the end of the day, you don’t want every consumer; you want the ones that truly need what you have to offer and are on fire for your business.

Once you adjust your focus and narrow in on who you’re truly going for as a customer, the goals behind your content becomes so much clearer!

While the world tells you that we need “pretty” content that’s curated beautifully with an aesthetic that the Kardashians themselves would covet, there is so much more to it. This year as you build out a content plan, concentrate on two words: culture and connection.

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CULTURE

From social media and blog posts to paid advertisements and video content, everything you share from your brand is building a culture around your business.

Ultimately, this is what helps a consumer decide if your business is for them or not. The culture of your company is built from these three components evident throughout your content: • Mission - Why does your brand exist in the first place? Who are you here for?

• Values - How are you/your product making a difference in the world?

What’s unique about how you show up in the world?

• Passion - What fuels you and, therefore, your customers?

CONNECTION If you don’t have connection, then you have nothing. You can write and photograph all the content you can muster, but if it’s not creating real connection with an audience then sadly, it has no purpose.

Connection builds trust, which translates into paying customers who become fans of your work. Here are three factors to consider when checking to make sure your content is connection building: • Relatable - Can it create a commonality between someone or something that reminds them of their own life?

• Emotional - Does it make someone really feel something and stir up a connection?

• Relational - Will it build a relationship with your customer where they feel they can keep coming back? Is there a sense of loyalty present?

When you pause your process to really think about the culture you’re creating and the connection you’re hoping to make with customers, your content starts to follow a flow you can’t ignore!

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336.413.7610 • Denise@TheOfficeNerdNC.com www.TheOfficeNerdNC.com

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February 2020 | 105

PHOTO ARTISTRY BY MELINDA PERSONAL. BEAUTIFUL. ENLIGHTENING!

BY MARTIE EMORY

From the moment she received her first camera at age 13, Melinda Lamm of Photo Artistry by Melinda was smitten. Yet, even while working for a local professional photographer, she preferred being nestled away in the darkroom, and later, as technology changed, working her magic in Photoshop. “I just wanted to shoot for myself,” she says. But when her circumstances evolved, she faced her fear of being the actual “photographer” and learned that, indeed, she could also be comfortable working directly with clients.

Melinda began her own business about four years ago and is officially in love with what she does. If you’re a devoted reader of Forsyth Magazines, you’ve certainly already admired her amazing work.

From business headshots and modeling portfolios to engagements, weddings, and any “just because” occasion you want captured forever, her personality and eye for detail shine through. Even though she grew slowly into her own comfort level behind the camera, Melinda is a true magician at making her subjects feel at ease – and even playful! – in front of the lens. She offers boudoir photography and personal shoots, where embracing your personal beauty is essential!

“As women, we are our own worst critics,” says Melinda. “I wish we could see ourselves as others see us. Every age and stage of life is beautiful in its own way!”

For these more intimate photo sessions, Melinda encourages clients to let her know what would make them feel most relaxed. “I’m open to whatever makes them feel at ease,” she says. “Bring a friend, bring your pet, or bring a bottle of wine! Boudoir shoots are very personal, and most are done as gifts for significant others, but there are some women that want to celebrate who they are, solely for themselves. I applaud these women!”

She offers a stylist for clients who aren’t skilled at doing their own makeup, which is a real confidence builder for women who want to try something different. Boudoir sessions can be held at Melinda’s studio, outside in a natural setting, or she can visit the client’s home.

“Milk bath sessions are my favorite!” says Melinda. “So very feminine and soft, and I love the skin against the milk and the colors of the flowers. Another favorite? My mermaid sessions – they are pure fun and fantasy. Who doesn’t want to be a mermaid?”

For these more intimate sessions, she encourages clients to dress in something they feel good wearing. There’s nothing worse than worrying about an unflattering look because a garment is too tight. “I always tell women to bring several outfits to wear,” says Melinda. “How racy you want to dress is up to you. I never try to get anyone to show more than they feel comfortable showing. For milk bath sessions, I’ve had women wear only a bathing suit bottom, or I’ve had them wear a tank top and shorts, or even a long white gown. Be as sexy or as modest as you want.”

That’s what determines the final masterpiece: How comfortable the subject feels! While Melinda is modest when it comes to talking about her talents, she’s always happy to discuss her craft. “Photography is all about lighting and angles,” says Melinda. “A slight tilt of the head or positioning of the body to camouflage an area the woman is uncomfortable with, that’s the goal.”

Then there’s Photoshop! “I can soften lines in the face or thin it out a bit. I can make the shoot as real as possible, or I can create more of a picture-perfect, model-type shoot where things are retouched.”

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But her heartfelt honesty is one of Melinda’s most endearing qualities! “I truly wish we could see ourselves the way others see us,” she says. “We are so quick to point out our own flaws, but everyone has them. It makes me sad when people tell me they want to wait on photography because they want to lose weight or change their hairstyle, even have cosmetic surgery. Don’t put it off! All you have is right now – and you will never be younger than you are today!”

Melinda happily finds herself smiling when she photographs events. “I get to watch the happy times – surprise engagements, graduations, gender reveals, marriages, babies being welcomed into families,” she explains. “As the saying goes, choose a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. It took a long time to get here, but I can’t imagine not doing this now!”

Reach Melinda Lamm at Photo Artistry by Melinda at 336.407.3655, photoartistrybymelinda@yahoo.com, and visit Photoartistrybymelinda.com.

PHOTO ARTISTRY BY MELINDA

PHOTOARTISTRYBYMELINDA@YAHOO.COM 336-407-3655

Photo Artistry by Melinda

February 2020 | 107

recommended minimum 150 minutes/week of moderateintensity exercise (according to the CDC and the National Health Survey of 2018). This is a very sad and sobering statistic that can change with a change in perspective from “I just can’t exercise,” to “I think I can exercise.”

Self-efficacy is the belief and conviction that you can succeed at a task, and in this case, a belief that you can adopt an exercise program and stick to it, hopefully for a lifetime.

Exercise self-efficacy is an important predictor for adopting and maintaining healthy exercise behaviors. So, if you only tackle one excuse to avoid exercise, let it be finding the confidence to get sweaty, move even if it is uncomfortable, and know that you are worthy of better health. If you have never exercised before, then seek advice from a primary health care provider or physical therapist who can guide you through a safe start and suggest exercise that is safe for you, while taking into consideration your current health conditions, strength, balance, and cardiovascular status.

I THINK I CAN… I THINK I CAN… I THINK I CAN…

BY SARA MIGLIARESE

A month into the year 2020, and how are you doing with your resolutions on exercise (assuming you had one)? Starting an exercise program, or cranking up a preexisting one, may be on almost everyone’s list of goals for each new year. This goal is a cousin to the reoccurring yearly goal of cleaning out the garage; it makes the list every year because it just never gets done. It is easy to understand why cleaning the garage is no fun (you can think of 100 better ways to spend your time), but why is exercise so difficult to start and commit to each year? You can survey numerous health blogs online and find the following reasons (or excuses, depending on how you view things): • Don’t have time • It is uncomfortable • Don’t have the money to join • Don’t want to hurt myself a gym • Other people will judge my • Don’t have someone to appearance exercise with • Don’t like being sweaty • Not a priority for my family • Don’t like being the motor• Don’t know how to start or moron in the back of the class what kind of exercise to do • Don’t want my hair messed up This list could probably be much longer, but this shorter list can be summarized into three main themes: 1. Lack of self-efficacy regarding exercise, 2. Feeling self-conscious about body image, and 3. Recognizing the need to prioritize your own health NOW. If you are being honest with yourself about reasons not to exercise, many of the supposed obstacles can be avoided. You can find time; you can find a buddy or family member to join you in exercise; you don’t really need money to exercise; very few women really look good during exercise (most folks sweat, make funny faces, pass gas, and grunt during exercise); you can find a time when your hair being messy doesn’t matter. But you are not alone. In both the United Kingdom and in the USA, 50-75 % of women do not get the

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For women who are self-conscious about their appearance during exercise, there are gyms just for women or classes geared to females, and exercise at home is totally judgmentfree. Everyone needs to exercise, so switch your attention from assuming people will judge you based on your size and recognize and take pride in the fact that everyone, regardless of dress size, needs to move and exercise and that you are choosing to put your health first. Movement looks good on everyone! You are worthy of better health and you CAN achieve it by getting rid of the list of excuses that keep you from exercising. Lose the list and say, “I can.”

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February 2020 | 109

Writers Who Read Picture Books No matter how old you get, there is

BY MEGAN TAYLOR something special about looking at picture books from your childhood. Tales that are timeless and ones that can be revisited over and over again hold a special place in a person’s heart. For some, these short stories are where their love for books and reading began. Notable picture books that many people enjoy and are very well-known are Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak, Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd, The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle, and any Dr. Seuss book. The list goes on and on and everyone has their own favorite childhood picture books, such as my favorites below.

BUBBA, THE COWBOY PRINCE

by Helen Kettemen

It is a Cinderella story in reverse. On a Texas ranch, Bubba lives with his mean stepfather and stepbrothers. He is pushed around and forced to do all of the work on the ranch by his family. Neighbor, Miz Lurleen, another rancher in Texas decides to throw herself a party to find a prince. Unfortunately, as in the traditional story, Bubba is made to stay home. However, with a little luck and a fairy godcow, Bubba is transformed into the cowboy prince that Miz Lurleen was looking for. Bubba, The Cowboy Prince gives a western flair to a timeless tale that is loved by many.

MISS NELSON IS MISSING!

by Harry Allard and James Marshall

Published in 1977, Miss Nelson is Missing!

Is a novel that is still attracting new readers of all ages. Kindhearted, firstgrade teacher Miss Nelson’s students are out of control. They are throwing paper planes through the air and disrespecting Miss Nelson with everything they do.

To try and get the students in line, Miss Nelson decides something must be done and doesn’t show up to school one day. In her place, Miss Viola Swamp, the meanest substitute around, taught the class. Miss Swamp’s strict rules, extra homework, and no story hour quickly change the students’ misbehavior. After a few days of Miss Swamp, Miss Nelson returns and reveals to the children that she was actually Miss Swamp, just dressed in disguise. Perfect to be read at any point during school, Miss Nelson is Missing! reinforces the theme of respect for others.

YOU ARE SPECIAL

by Max Lucado

One of the four Wemmick stories by Christian writer Max Lucado, You Are Special tells the story of a small, wooden Wemmick, Punchinello. Wemmicks are created

by Eli, the woodcarver (who represents God). in Wemmicksville. Each Wemmick is created with its own looks and personality. However, Punchinello doesn’t believe he is good enough and isn’t special. This belief comes from the impression Punchinello receives from other Wemmicks. Each day, Wemmicks will place a gold star or gray dot on each other, displaying their worth. However, through Eli’s wisdom and Punchinello’s close walk with Eli, Punchinello learns that he truly is special and that there is no one like him. You Are Special is the perfect reminder for people of all ages that you are loved and unique.

It is always nostalgic to read books from our childhood, stories that never get old and can be passed down from generation to generation.

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How to Know You

Need a Break

BY TABI FALCONE

Burnout has been a hot topic in the past few years, with a renewed focus on prioritizing self-care and mental health. But what exactly is burnout? Burnout can be most easily described as when we are pushed so hard, physically, emotionally and/or mentally that we reach a point of total exhaustion. This state of exhaustion causes us to lose our sense of identity, which in turn causes our productivity, both personally and professionally, to plummet.

SIGNS OF BURNOUT:

EXHAUSTION

It is one thing to feel tired, and another thing entirely to be exhausted. Exhaustion is when you’re constantly tired, and you can feel it in every inch of your body. Where you can’t find the energy to do things that you normally would love to do, but can’t seem to be bothered to do anymore.

LOSS OF FOCUS

When you’re burnt out or in the process of burning out, your brain becomes scattered because you have so much going on, you literally don’t have the mental capacity to handle it all.

When you stretch yourself too thin, you’re unable to focus on one thing at a time because you are constantly thinking of all the other things you have to do. This directly relates to the next sign.

REDUCED PRODUCTIVITY

If you are stretched so thin that you can’t focus, your productivity will dive into a bottomless void. Suddenly instead of writing (and meeting the deadline for) 10 articles a month, you can barely finish two, and they are late. Or maybe you’re struggling to keep up with your email correspondence when previously you were the queen of responding in a timely fashion. This lowered productivity can then become another stress point which has a Catch-22 effect of exponentially growing your stress and burnout level.

YOU SMELL

Okay, so suddenly becoming smelly isn’t actually a sign that you’re careening towards burnout; however, a disinterest in grooming is definitely a sign of burnout. If you don’t remember the last time you showered, it’s time to take a step back.

COLDS LAST FOREVER

Extreme stress can significantly reduce the efficacy of your immune system, so when you get sick, you can be down for the count for way longer than usual. If you catch a cold and are still fighting it a month later – it’s time to re-evaluate what is going on in your life.

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Okay, so now you know that you are either moving towards burnout or already burnt out. What can you do about it? What the heck does “take a step back” even mean?

Schedule some time for yourself to really evaluate (step back emotionally) what is taking up your time and mental energy. Did you sign up for a PTA committee that is taking way more time than you anticipated it would? Have you taken on more than you can handle at work? Are you trying to make gourmet meals every night even though it causes you to not eat until 8:30, and you’re crying by the end of it because you’re so overwhelmed? These are the kinds of things you can take out of your everyday life.

Resign from the committee. The PTA will survive without you. Talk to your boss about your responsibilities and together tackle where you can streamline to work smarter, not harder. Acknowledge that you don’t need to eat orange-glazed Cornish game hens, sautéed fresh asparagus, and creamy hand grated manchego orzo every night. The world will not end if you eat frozen chicken nuggets or even (gasp!) get takeout. Make time for selfcare, and remember that just because you are burnt out now, doesn’t mean it’s un-fixable. You can, and will, find the balance and rest that you need.

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February 2020 | 113

GOT CHICKEN?

Creative New Ways to Cook Your Same Ole Chicken

BY SUSAN SCHABACKER

SWEETLY SOUTHERN HONEY FRIED CHICKEN

Crazy about chicken, but bored with having the same ole, same ole? Incorporate your fav marinades, sauces, herbs and spices, and never get bored with chicken again.

A HEALTHY VARIETY

Whether you roast your chicken, poach it, fry it, bake it, grill it, braise it or sauté it, get creative with your approach and try a variety of drumsticks, thighs, breasts and wings. From appetizers to entrees, add chicken to your salads, subs, sandwiches, soups, stir fries, casseroles, wraps and countless other dishes.

TIP: You may want to use a thermometer when cooking so you don’t overcook your chicken.

You want it to be moist, juicy and tender, never dry and chewy like jerky.

EAT RIGHT WITH YOUR TYPE

What’s your type? Which area(s) of the palette do you want to please? Try different combinations depending on your personal preferences in flavor and taste.

Use artistic license and let your senses guide you as you cook or bake.

The spice type? Try flavoring your chicken with spices like paprika, curry, turmeric, cumin, garlic, black pepper or lemon pepper.

The spicy type? Try adding heat to your chicken with cayenne pepper, jalapenos, or chilies.

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The sweet type? Add honey, maple syrup, or stevia to your marinades and sauces.

The herby type? Add basil, rosemary, thyme, oregano, cilantro, or Provence herbs (basil, fennel, marjoram, parsley, rosemary, tarragon and thyme).

The tangy type? The right amount of an acidic element gives chicken the flavor kick it needs. Try citrus juice, wine, or vinegar.

INGREDIENTS • 1 ½ pounds chicken pieces • ½ cup honey (can be flavored honey, like lavender infused) • 2 Tablespoons apple cider vinegar • 1 cup flour (divided) • 2 Tablespoons fine dry bread crumbs • 2 teaspoons cayenne pepper (for fans of the spicy) • ¼ cup buttermilk • 1 cup vegetable oil or EVOO (approximately 1½ to 2 inches in depth in the pan) • Salt and ground black pepper

CHICKEN FROM AROUND THE WORLD

DIRECTIONS Place chicken pieces in a large sealable storage bag or container. Toss the chicken with the honey and vinegar mixture. Coat each piece evenly with the marinade, then let sit in the refrigerator for 2 to 4 hours.

• Get inspired by Thai cooking with lemongrass, ginger, and peanuts.

Add 1/3 cup flour to a mixing bowl. Put the remaining 2/3 cup flour in another mixing bowl and combine the bread crumbs and cayenne pepper (optional). In a third bowl, whisk together eggs and buttermilk.

• Try an Indian dish using spices for Chicken Tikka Masala like turmeric, garam masala, coriander, and cumin.

• In the mood for Mexican? Pair cumin, cayenne, cilantro, and lime.

• For a French flair, experiment with white wine, champagne, butter, gruyere, or mustard in your sauces and, of course, there’s always Chicken Cordon Bleu.

• Go Greek by marinating your chicken in a combination of EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil), Greek yogurt, lemon zest and juice, thyme, oregano, rosemary, and garlic.

• Enjoy Caribbean style Jamaican Jerk Chicken with smoked paprika, cinnamon, ground ginger, ground cloves, cayenne pepper, ground black pepper, and thyme. Make it into a sandwich or top over a salad and add complements like pineapple, red onion, and cilantro.

• Another dish that goes hand-in-hand with pineapple is Hawaiian Chicken combined with bell or sweet peppers and onions. Whip together a sweet and tangy sauce of BBQ sauce, garlic, ginger, EVOO, soy sauce, dark brown sugar, and pineapple juice.

Pour oil into large, deep skillet or Dutch oven and apply medium heat to reach about 300 degrees Fahrenheit.

Remove chicken from fridge and put on a plate lined with paper towels.

Dip each piece into the eggs and buttermilk mixture, coat evenly, season with salt and pepper (optional), and dredge thoroughly in flour and breadcrumb mixture.

Cook pieces for 5-6 minutes on the first side until browned. Maintain temperature at 300 degrees Fahrenheit. Turn the pieces with a fork and continue cooking until each piece browns evenly on both sides.

Test temperature of the largest piece of chicken. It should read about 165 degrees Fahrenheit.

Drizzle some boiled marinade over the chicken, serve and enjoy!

Recipe adapted from thespruceeats.com/honey-friedchicken-3056877

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How to Navigate and Embrace Life’s Transitions

BY TARYN JEREZ

From marriage and moving to career changes and retirement, life is filled with transitional periods, and they aren’t always easy to navigate. In fact, despite what age, gender, ethnicity, family status, sexual orientation, or profession, a common struggle people find themselves in is embracing change during life’s biggest transitions.

You may be faced with navigating exciting new chapters that you planned for, and yet you don’t quite feel the way you thought you should. There may be a new phase of life that knocked the wind out of your sails because you never saw it coming. That’s the tricky part about life: the journey is filled with ups and downs and seasons that spin you around.

HOW DO WE GET TO THE OTHER SIDE?

Robert Frost said that “the best way out is always through.” Even when there is difficulty and uncertainty, Mr. Frost is correct; you have to go through it to get out on the other side. More often than not, this leads to an even stronger version of you! Learning to embrace where you are during the transition and figure out how to settle into each new phase of life will be one of the most rewarding skills you can learn.

ASSESS YOUR EMOTIONS Be unapologetic in how you are feeling, but take time to really understand how exactly that is.

Life has a way of throwing curve balls that we never saw coming.

Some of these curves throw

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us into seasons of grief or overcoming, while others can lead to what can be the best seasons of our life. Regardless, be honest with yourself and others when possible about your emotions surrounding this time. Are you excited, anxious, happy, overwhelmed? Knowing how you feel can help you sort through that time and allow the transition to feel easier.

CONCENTRATE ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL

In every moment of your life there are things you can control. Of course, it may not always seem this way, but if you pause for a moment, you can find the things you have control over among the chaos. If you are overwhelmed by moving to a brand new city, you may not be able to flip a switch and feel completely secure. What you can do is do your research ahead of time, create a list of new local resources, keep your inner circle from home on speed dial for support and plan out what your first goals will be once you move in to make yourself more comfortable. Sometimes what you can control are simple and small, but the impact they have can be much bigger.

FIND SUPPORT

Even though it may feel isolating at times, try to remind yourself that you have people in your life who may have been where you’ve been before. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and reach out to a trusted friend or family member during times of heavy change or uncertainty. Ask a divorced friend how they handled their separation, share your concerns about losing touch with your child as they leave the house for the first time, find other friends who know what it’s like to retire from a career they loved.

When you let your walls fall down, it’s incredible who you can let in and how that support changes the game.

KNOW THAT THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS

Life’s transitions are just that, transitions.

They aren’t meant to last forever, and each one comes with its own emotions to embrace and challenges to overcome.

The important thing is to allow yourself to navigate them the way that feels best to you and the part of life you’re in. Open your mind and your heart to the lessons you can learn during each new phase and hold on knowing there is something beautiful waiting on the other side.

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Purple, Gold! AARGHH! Morgan Bralley graduated December 13 with her Masters in Occupational Therapy from East Carolina University! Way to go Morgan!

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URBAN BLOOM PHOTOGRAPHY

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February 2020 | 119

PHOTOS BY DOUG MAGRUDER

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Happiest of happy birthdays to the best Mom, Mamaw, Wife, Sister, Role Model, Mentor, and Friend one could hope for! Thank you for the way you lead by example — loving God first and serving others second!

Happy 30th Anniversary, Brent and Donna! We are so happy for the beautiful life you’ve created together! Here’s to the next 30!

February 2020 | 121

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February 2020 | 123

Level Up in 2020

An Evening of Self Care & Self Love Does it feel like the holiday season is a distant memory? Maybe you’ve settled into 2020 and some of the excitement of the new year has started to fade.

Yes, it’s a new year, a new decade, but if you’re being totally honest, does it feel about the same as it did in 2019? I’ve heard this from so many people, and I get it. The cold, dark days of winter have dimmed some of the joy and happiness your heart desired for this new year. There are so many reasons for this. Perhaps, you haven’t had time to start working on some of the plans you had for yourself in 2020. Maybe you don’t know how to start and it feels a little overwhelming. Even if you’re still on track with your New Year’s resolutions (give yourself a major pat on the back) you might wonder if you can keep the momentum going.

However you’re feeling, not to worry, we’ve got you covered.

Whether you need a little nudge to get you excited about 2020 and all the possibilities the new year can bring to you, want to connect with like-minded individuals, or just want a fun night out, look no further. Forsyth Women magazine and local author, speaker, and meditation practitioner Dara Kurtz have partnered to bring you just what you need to level up and help you make this your best year yet. It’s only February, the month of love, so give yourself a serious dose of self-love and make a little time to focus on YOU. On February 20, 2020, we have an incredible evening planned for you. In this 1 1/2 hour evening, we’ll gather strength from one another as we look at our

RELATIONSHIPS

The time to take action is now. Before we know it, we’ll be ringing in 2021, and looking back at the year we’re in. Don’t wait to live the life of your dreams. Instead, create it. Be the boss of your life. Let go of any fear, negative self-talk, self-doubt, and excuses. Have the courage to take an honest look at your life, release anything that isn’t serving you well, and bring in all that your heart desires so you can live the life you’ve been yearning for.

We’re saving a space just for you, are you ready to claim it?

Sign up now at: crazyperfectlife.com/workshop/ (Limited space, so don’t wait and bring your friends!)

What: Level Up in 2020: Self Love Self Care Evening When: February 20, 2020, 7-8:30PM Cost: $20 For questions, email Dara Kurtz at dara@crazyperfectlife.com

HEALTH

CAREERS 124 | ForsythWoman.com

lives, what we really like and maybe are ready to release, and get excited about moving forward. We’ll talk about our subconscious and conscious minds, the power of forgiveness, in ourselves and others, letting go of the fear that prevents us from shining our bright lights, and give ourselves permission to work on the things we want to change. We’ll look at five specific areas of our lives: our relationships, careers, health, community, and spirituality, and how little changes in any of these areas can get us more of what we want.

From small group discussions and a Candle Circle, to meeting like-minded people, it’s going to be a fun, high energy evening.

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For more information, head to @forsythmags February 2020 | 125

SECOND WEDNESDAYS

PROFESSIONAL WOMEN OF WINSTON-SALEM MEETING 11:30am-1pm, Footnote on 4th Street in W-S. Join PWWS for the monthly meeting. Learn more at PWWS.org.

NOW THROUGH FEBRUARY 14

SILVER PEN SCHOLARSHIP COMPETITION Homestead Hills Retirement Community, 3250 Homestead Club Drive in W-S. The scholarship is hosted through Homestead Hills retirement community and only local students can win! To apply, write a 1,000-word essay on the following topic: Discuss an accomplishment, event or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. $3,750 in prizes available! For more information and to apply online, visit: silverpen-slc.com

NOW THROUGH FEBRUARY 16

GREENBRIAR DRIVING ACADEMY WINTER DRIVER’S EDUCATION CLASS Teen (Ages 14.5-18) Driver’s Education Class, 1605 Westbrook Plaza Drive, Suite 403 in W-S. Our classroom instruction is interactive, hands-on and fulfills the NC requirement. Students will receive schedules for six hours of private, behindthe-wheel training at the completion of classwork.

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FEBRUARY 2-3

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SUPER BOWL PARTY @ SIR WINSTON WINE LOFT & RESTAURANT Sir Winston Wine Loft & Restaurant, 104 West 4th Street in W-S. Come watch the game on our large screen TV’s by our bar and in our Wine Loft! Enjoy $2 domestic beer bottles, $3.50 draft beer and more delicious drinks. We will also have all your favorite food items for during the game! sirwinstonrestaurant.com

FEBRUARY 4

SALEM BAND WINTER CONCERT 7:30pm, Hanes Auditorium, Elberson FAC, Salem Avenue/ Rams Drive, Salem College.

Join Salem Band for an evening of wind ensemble classics.

Established in 1771, Salem Band is the oldest, continuous mixed wind ensemble in the nation. salemband.org

FEBRUARY 6-23

DESVELADO Kaleideum Downtown, 390 South Liberty Street in W-S. An interactive new play for babies and toddlers! Follow Little One on a journey into the night sky, and the imaginative space between awake and asleep. Guided by the Harvest Moon and a faithful pet turtle, Little One counts sheep and dances among the stars to la música de la noche in pursuit of sleep. Created for ages 0-5; approximately 25 minutes long. kaleideum.org

FEBRUARY 7-11

UNCSA – FLETCHER OPERA: “LA CLEMENZA DI TITO” Times vary, Stevens Center, 405 West Fourth Street in W-S. Love, passion, jealousy, deception, revenge and forgiveness reveal themselves in Mozart’s final opera.

FEBRUARY 8

DADDY/DAUGHTER DANCE 6:30-8:30pm, Kaleideum Downtown, 390 South Liberty Street in W-S. Bring your special girl for an evening of dancing, Valentine’s crafts and delicious desserts! Lloyd Aaron Photography will provide a cherished photo keepsake that will be emailed to you after the event. Registration required at kaleideum.org. Cost: $10/ member; $12/non-member.

FEBRUARY 8-9

BOOKMARKS AND SALEMTOWNE RETIREMENT COMMUNITY PRESENT MOVABLE FEAST 7pm-12am, Hanesbrands Theatre, 209 North Spruce Street in W-S. Now in its eighth year, this event will feature 21 authors including Anissa Gray, Etaf Rum and Adam O’Fallon Price.

FEBRUARY 9

2020 RED CARPET PARTY 6:30-10:30pm, a/perture cinema, 311 West Fourth Street in W-S. Join a/perture cinema and Honorary Chairs Jeff Lindsay and Terry Robertson for the annual Red Carpet Party to benefit the cinema and celebrate the year in film.

FEBRUARY 11

GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT 5pm-until…, Sir Winston Wine Loft & Restaurant, 104 West 4th Street in W-S. Grab a friend, neighbor, co-worker, mother, sister, SOMEBODY and have a much need Girls’ Night Out. Enjoy $8 specialty cocktails and ½ price appetizers.

Reservations recommended – 722.0795. Also, register for TONS of prizes and giveaways! sirwinstonrestaurant.com WINSTON-SALEM HOUSEWIVES IN THE CITY – GALENTINE’S NETWORKING & GIRLS NIGHT 5:30-8:30pm, Earl’s, 121 West 9th Street in W-S. Shop, network and sip tasty wine and beer. All women are welcome to attend our free networking socials, but please register your ticket via Eventbrite. housewivesinthecitywsgalentines. eventbrite.com

FEBRUARY 12

KIDS’ MORNING OUT 10am-12pm, TRU Taekwondo Center, 5065 Country Club Road in W-S. Free event!

Come see all TRU Tawkwondo has to offer with a variety of individual activity stations. There will be games, treats, fun, Taekwondo demo, giveaways and more! Each adult attendee will receive four tickets for our fabulous Forsyth Family Magazine prize board!

FEBRUARY 13

HOMESCHOOL DAYS 1:30-2:30pm, South Fork Community Center, 4403 Country Club Road in W-S. Homeschool students and parents! Explore a different topic on the 2nd Thursday of each month through engaging activities for 7-12-year-old homeschool students!

Cost: $5/student. Pre-registration required. For more information and to register, contact Amanda at amandaha@cityofws.org or 659.4305.

FEBRUARY 13-16

VALENTINE’S DAY @ SIR WINSTON WINE LOFT & RESTAURANT Sir Winston Wine Loft & Restaurant, 104 West 4th Street in W-S. Bring your sweetheart to Sir Winston Wine Loft & Restaurant for dinner and champagne!

Cost: $150/couple includes two appetizers, two entrees, split dessert and a glass of champagne or house wine. sirwinstonrestaurant.com

FEBRUARY 15

2 GUYS NAMED CHRIS COMEDY ALL STARS 7:30-10pm, UNCSA Stevens Center, 405 West Fourth Street in W-S. A one-of-a-kind comedy night that will feature an array of talented and witty comedians with unique entertainment styles.

Many all-star comedians will be there including Dean Napolitano, Collin Moulton and Drew Thomas Jones.

FEBRUARY 20 & 22

TANGER OUTLETS MASTERWORKS – FAREWELL SYMPHONY Guilford College – Dana Auditorium, 710 Levi Coffin Drive in Greensboro.

Join the Greensboro Symphony (GSO) in celebrating the end of an era, saying farewell to Dana Auditorium. Get your tickets today: greensborosymphony.org.

FEBRUARY 20-23

MARISSA BARATELLI SPECIAL OCCASION TRUNK SHOW Nitsa’s Apparel, 107 South Stratford Road in W-S. Nitsa’s offers the finest selection of couture bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses, veils, accessories, social occasion and cocktail dresses, and sportswear. As the Carolinas’ Couture Bridal Salon, Nitsa’s provides its signature personal service and exceptional in-house alterations. Fabulous since 1964! nitsas.com

FEBRUARY 21-24

GRAND OPENING Club Pilates, 371 Lower Mall Drive in W-S. Our grand opening is a weekend full of free intro classes, giveaways and celebration!

Book your free session online, by phone or by email. clubpilates.com/winstonsalem

FEBRUARY 22

CARNIVAL MASK WORKSHOP 1-4pm, Museum of Anthropology, Wake Forest University, 1834 Wake Forest Road in W-S. Celebrate Carnival at the Museum of Anthropology! Join us for this all-ages workshop and learn about the celebration of Carnival around the world. Participants will see authentic Carnival masks from the MOA’s collection and then make their own to take home. Cost: $20/person ($15 for MOA friends). Advanced registration by emailing moa@wfu.edu or calling 758.5282 is required. moa.wfu.edu

FEBRUARY 27

THE SHEPHERD’S CENTER OF GREATER WINSTON-SALEM VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION 10-11:15am, 1700 Ebert Street in W-S. Older adults in the community need help with supportive services such as transportation, minor home repairs, visits or caregiver respite. Mileage reimbursement is offered. For a list of all of our volunteer opportunities, visit our website at shepherdscenter.org. For more information or to register for the session, call The Shepherd’s Center at 748.0217 or email vpoore@shepherdscenter.org.

OPEN MIC WITH COUNTRY DAN COLLINS 6-9:30pm, Muddy Creek Café & Music Hall Old Salem, 137 West Street in W-S. All musicians/singer songwriters are welcome!

Come early to guarantee your spot and see Country Dan Collins to sign up.

Wine Merchants WINE SHOP HOURS Monday CLOSED Tuesday - Saturday 10:00 AM to 9:00 PM Sunday 10:00 AM to 3 PM

BISTRO HOURS Dinner: Tuesday - Saturday 4:00 PM to 9:30 PM Lunch: Friday 11:30 AM to 3:00 PM Brunch: Saturday & Sunday 10:00 AM to 3:00 PM

Vin205.com 205 S. Stratford Rd. Suite N Winston-Salem, NC 27103 (336) 765-8175 February 2020 | 127

Accent Prone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 Air by Alkali . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69 Alexander’s Automotive . . . . . . . . 109 American Heart Association . . . . . . 17 American Moving & Hauling . . . . . 65 Brookridge Retirement . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Brookstown Inn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75 Budget Blinds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 Busy as a Bee Concierge . . . . . . . . 117 Butcher & Bull . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 Camel City Boutique . . . . . . . . . . . . 61 Carolina Characters . . . . . . . . . . . . 122 Carolyn’s Baby Cakes . . . . . . . . . . . 122 Castle Lights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 Chermak & Hanson . . . . . . . . . . . . 117 Christina’s Dessertery . . . . . . . . . . . 99 Chrystal Yates . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 Clemmons Bicycle . . . . . . . . . . . . 117 Clemmons Lip Sync Battle . . . . . . . 67 Crossfit Polydamas . . . . . . . . . . . . 109 Crystal Cleaner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115 Cuppa Love Teas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115 Dawson Tree Service . . . . . . . . . . . 123 Duke Eye Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 Emerson Designs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111 Empty Bowls . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83 Epic Event Essentials . . . . . . . . . . . 113 Family Services . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77 Farrago . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 Forsyth Plastic Surgery . . . . . . . . . . 93

Fraleigh’s Boutique . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59 George K Walker Florist . . . . . . . . . .43 Gifts & Paper on Plaza . . . . . . . . . . 93 Goin’ Postal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 Goldman Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 Grassroots Salon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 Grille at the Glen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89 Habitat ReStore . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87 Hair By Alkali . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69 Hair Zoe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122 HakkaChow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Halo Salon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 Hauser Rental . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 Hillcrest Vision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105 Hip Chics Boutique . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Home Maids Services . . . . . . . . . . 109 Homestead Hills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 Hotel Indigo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31,128 iHeart Radio . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129 Inner Strength Pilates . . . . . . . . . . . 91 Jeffrey Adams on Fourth . . . . . . . 131 Jodie Brim Photography . . . . . . . . 113 June DeLugas Interiors . . . . . . . . . . 37 Kingery & Kingery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85 Kortney Beam Designs . . . . . . . . . 123 Laster’s Antiques & Fine Art . . . . . 115 Laundry Matters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71 Lewisville Laser & Aesthetics . . . . . 57 Liv for Sweets . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .123 Liz Fit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122

Lyndhurst . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Marzano Captial Group . . . Back Cover Massage Envy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23 Medi-Weightloss . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Men Who Cook . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97 MidTown Cafe & Dessertery . . . . . . 19 Moji Coffee + More . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 Mountain Valley Hospice . . . . . . . . 99 My Grace-Full Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122 Nitsa’s Apparel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73 Novant Health Vein Specialists . . . 47 Nu . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95 Office Nerd . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105 One Crafty Miss . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89 Paparazzi Hair Salon . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 Pat’s Body Shop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Photo Artistry by Melinda . . . . . . 107 Piedmont Advantage Credit Union 85 Piedmont Federal Savings Bank . . . 4 Professional Women of Winston Salem . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105 Providence Restaurant . . . . . . . . . . 81 ReDESIGNS by Ava . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63 Restoration Med Spa . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Rodan + Fields, Kelley Carnall . . . 122 Rosie’s Hallmark . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75 Salem Detailing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122 Salem Plastic Surgery . . . . . . . . . . . 83 Salem Smiles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87 Salemtowne Retirement . . . . . . . . 63

Self Love Self Care . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125 Sharon Reid, DDS, PA & Tyler Wynne, DDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53 Simply Southern Cuisine . . . . . . . . 59 Simply Sterling & Co . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 Singing Bird Salon . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 Sir Winston Restaurant . . . . . . 31,128 Sixth Sense Health & Wellness . . . . 9 Social Southern Kitchen . . . . . . . . . 71 Starboard Accounting . . . . . . . . . . 115 State Farm, Kendall Bodford . . . . 123 Stoked Wood Fired Pub . . . . . . . . . . 71 Summit Eye Care . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 Swanky & Swag Boutique . . . . . . . 13 Torque Performance . . . . . . . . . . . 109 Trellis Supportive Care . . . . . . . . . . 49 Triad Mac . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 Trophy Room . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131 Twin City Fashion Week . . . . . . . . . . 8 Two Maids . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111 Village Inn Event Center . . . . . . . . . 65 Wake Forest Baptist Health . . . . . . . 2 Wayne Collins Electric . . . . . . . . . . 117 WFBH Cosmetic & Plastic Surgery . 81 WFBH Outpatient Imaging . . . . . . .79 Windsor Jewelers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Wine Merchants . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127 WomanCare . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73 Young Cardinal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131 Your Home Marketplace . . . . . . . . . 69

Make it a Winston Restaurant Valentine’sSirDay to Remember Ask about our Valentine’s Day special when making your reservation.

Hotel Indigo

Reservations Recommended • Please call 336-722-0795

Special Room Rates at Hotel Indigo 2/13 , 2/14 , 2/15

Valet Parking Is Free For Your First 2 Hours

104 West 4th St • Winston-Salem, NC 27101 • 336.722.0795 • sirwinstonrestaurant.com

128 | ForsythWoman.com

iHeart Radio

February 2020 | 129

Conversations with Your BFF

BY REBECCA COOPER

Quantity VS Quality: Are a Lot of Friends Better Than a Few Close Friends?

The wise philosopher, Al Capone (yes, that Al Capone) once said, ‘Be careful who you call your friends. I’d rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies.’ If you think about it, Mr. Capone needed to know who his friends were more than most of us; thus, his quote holds a lot of good advice for you and me.

When I was growing up, everyone thought the more friends you had, the cooler and more popular you were. I remember competitions to see who had the most kids at their birthday parties. Sadly, I always lost because with a December birthday, it always snowed and I had one or two friends…but, I digress. So, is it better to have a lot of casual acquaintances or a few close friends? I’m so glad you asked!

THINK ABOUT IT… CAN YOU REALLY BE CLOSE TO EVERYONE?

The answer is no, you can’t be close to everyone and that is a good thing. Closeness with another person comes from earning trust and if you hand out trust without discernment, it loses its value. Guard your heart and who you share your inner self with throughout life.

NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY, PEOPLE ESTABLISH THEIR OWN ‘TRIBE’

I remember when I was in high school and college, having about 30 friends, and over time, we tended to divide up into little groups or tribes, when shared circumstances and life stages occurred. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. There are only a few people that you will share solid memories, good and bad, within a life, and those are the ones you want to keep around for the long haul.

YOU ONLY HAVE SO MUCH TIME, SO SHARE IT WISELY

As I’ve gotten older, my time has more meaning. With everyone working and having families and commitments, the time I have is precious, so I want to spend my time with people who make my day brighter, not ones who suck the energy from me.

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SOCIAL MEDIA FRIENDS DO I NEED TO SAY MORE?

I just checked, and I have 835 Facebook friends, and I don’t believe that’s anything to be particularly proud of. Social media friendships can consist of those who want to keep tabs on us and some you would not even talk to in person, but yet they exist in your online world. To thrive, we need more than just online friendships; a good conversation can never be substituted by an online ‘like.’ Social media isn’t helping to increase our friendships, but it’s helping me, at least, realize who is important in my life.

DON’T SELL THOSE WHO LET YOU VENT SHORT

Think about it – at the end of the day, who do you want to call to vent about your job, your kids, your significant other? Who do you want to tell about your inspiring day and the difference you made? It’s

usually just one or two people at most, right? When life has worn you down, who do you just want to sit on a couch with a glass of wine and talk or cry to, depending on what’s going on? The friends who will take your hand and lift you up when you can’t do it yourself, those are the ones to keep.

As I’ve grown up, I have realized that a few good friends are all you really need in life. It’s healthy to have a small, close-knit circle. I feel like the older you get, the more you realize the worth of a single friendship.

I understand that not every conversation had to be life-changing, and that small talk exists for a reason.

And now that I’ve finally come to terms with the difference, it’s become easier to let some people come and go, because the friends I choose to call ‘home’ are always going to be there. Friends become the family we choose, so choose wisely and hold them close.

farm fresh meets sophisticated dining

MONDAY Half price beer (all drafts and all bottles) TUESDAY Half Price Wine by the Glass WEDNESDAY Half price Whiskey and Bourbon THURSDAY $3 Off Martinis SUNDAY $5 Absolut Pepper Bloody Marys & $4 Mimosas

321 WEST FOURTH STREET | WINSTON SALEM | 336.448.1714 | WWW.JEFFREYADAMSWS.COM

CJeffrey O M Adams I N G on SO ON Fourth Young Cardinal Trophy Room

(formerly Hutch & Harris)

thetrophyroomws.com | 336-955-1463

dogwoodhopsandcrops.com February 2020 | 131

Marzano Captial Group

336.766.0464 | www.marzanocapitalgroup.com Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC, Investment advice offered through Independent Advisor Alliance, a registered investment advisor, Independent Advisor Alliance and Marzano Capital Group are separate entities from LPL Financial.

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