It’s a Grand Life Grand Wading Through Difficult Waters

by SUSAN WOODALL

Recently,I met a friend for lunch. She had arrived at the restaurant ahead of me and was in a conversation with another couple. I didn’t know them, but introductions were made. After a few minutes, my friend and I moved on to our table. While waiting for our food to come, she began to tell me about the couple I had just met.

A few months prior, their son announced he had decided to leave his wife. They were in shock as he and their daughter-in-law had what appeared to be a happy marriage. Her friends had hoped that with counseling, whatever their issues, they would be able to work through them. They were concerned for their grandchildren and the effect this was having on them. And, with that, what role they would have in their grandchildren’s lives.

That comment gave my friend pause. There seems to be a theory that children are resilient. While some are, lumping them all together in that category is less than accurate. A child’s age, personality, their perception of why their parents are divorcing, whether or not they feel the need to take sides, who’s at fault, all need to be a concern. Finding a therapist or counselor allows them to speak openly and honestly. Family counseling may also come into play once the children feel comfortable discussing their true feelings in their parents’ presence.

So, where do grandparents stand in this? Obviously, you want to be there for your grandchildren, but you must not show up acting upset at what is taking place. No matter what your opinion is of the circumstances, you should never take sides or make negative comments in front of them.

Children will feel easier about confiding in you if you let them talk without adding anything judgmental. Be a good listener by letting them talk without disregarding their feelings. Understand that their emotions may be all over the place. However, being disrespectful should not be tolerated. Never betray their trust by informing the parents of the information they have shared with you.

Separation and divorce can be a confusing time for children. One day, they have two parents living under one roof, and the next, one of them has moved out. Let them know they are loved unconditionally and that whatever they are feeling is normal. They may wish that their parents will get back together, and it’s important to acknowledge their feelings without giving them false hope.

Children may take this opportunity to see how much they can get away with, especially with grandparents who like to spoil them. Unconditional love does not mean letting them take advantage of the situation. If they have scheduled times for doing homework or going to bed, that needs to be enforced. Giving into their demands will not change what is happening, but it will make home life more difficult for the parent that is already facing enough changes when they have to hear, “Grandma didn’t make me do it!”

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t schedule some special times with them. Being with, listening to, showing that no matter what, you are always there for them will be the stability they need. Whether you spend a few hours, overnight or longer together will be good for all concerned. The parent who was used to having another adult helping out with the daily life of a household is now shouldering the responsibilities alone. Giving that parent a break will be good for all involved.

Probably the most important and best advice is to just give unconditional love. This is a heartbreaking time for most children. Knowing they have loving grandparents to turn to will help make the transition to a new normal much easier.

Event details are subject to change.

Please check event wesite and social media pages for updates as the dates draw near.

FOURTH THURS NOW-DEC 28

YOUNG PROFESSIONALS

5:30-7:30pm | Foothills Brewing, 3800 Kimwell Drive in Winston-Salem

It’s part social, part networking! There will be deals and discounts on beverages, and the event is open to anyone 21-35 or the young at heart. We hope to see you there! https://bit.ly/3DdR03L

May 2

HOPE DU JOUR

Join us for the 32nd annual Hope du Jour, where participating restaurants donate 10% of their proceeds to Crisis Control Ministry, Forsyth County’s largest non-profit provider of emergency assistance. Food and beverage establishments come together for breakfast, lunch, dinner and more in a day of feelgood eating to make a difference in our community. Visit hopedujour.org for more information.

Forsyth Woman Magazine GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT

5pm - Until | Jeffrey Adams on Fourth, 321 West Fourth Street in W-S.

Grab a friend, a neighbor, your sister, your mother, a co-worker and have a much-needed Girls’ Night Out! Enjoy half price wine specials! As always, each attendee receives four tickets for the fabulous prize board drawings!

May 6

COMMUNITY YARD SALE

7am-2pm | 6131 Frye Bridge Road in Clemmons

First Christian Church of Clemmons is having a huge yard sale to benefit their renovation project. Tables will be available to the community for a rental fee. firstchristianclemmons.com/event/ community-yard-sale

WINSTON JUNCTION SPRING MARKET –COMMUNITY BOOTH

11am-4pm | 901 Trade Street Northwest in W-S. Minglewood’s staff will be sharing information about educational programs as well as leading a hands-on, family friendly activity.

TRELLIS SUPPORTIVE CARE KENTUCKY DERBY PARTY

5-7pm | The Atrium at Wake Forest Biotech Place. The 11th Kentucky Derby Party is set to take place on Saturday, May 6th. The auction will be open for online bidding on Monday, May 1st. There are a limited number of VIP tickets available, so make sure to grab yours while you can! The party this year will include heavy hors d’oeuvres, beer, wine, signature cocktails, a photo booth, live music, a caricature artist and, of course, a live stream of the Kentucky Derby. Don’t miss out on this fun celebration! We’re so thankful for our presenting sponsor Allegacy, our additional sponsors and derby lovers who make this event possible! Visit trellisderbyparty.org for more information.

SHEPHERD’S CENTER USED BOOK SALE Times vary, 500 Deacon Boulevard, Gate 5 in W-S.

The Shepherd’s Center of Greater Winston-Salem will hold its 31st Annual Used Book Sale on Thursday, May 4th and Friday, May 5th from 9am-9pm, and on Saturday, May 6th from 8am-2pm. On Saturday, all items are ½ price. Parking and admission are free! shepherdscenter.org/used-book-sale-1

MAY 5-6

FORSYTH COUNTY EXTENSION MASTER GARDENER VOLUNTEERS’ PLANT SALE

MAY 4-6 MAY 11 MAY 13

8am-2pm | The Arboretum at Tanglewood Park, 4201 Manor House Circle in Clemmons.

Enjoy the beauty of the gardens while making your way to one of Forsyth County’s premier plant sales. Cash or check only. Shop early for the best selection. For additional information, call 336.703.2850.

FREE VEIN CONSULTATION

THURSDAY

1-4pm | Novant Health Vein Specialists

Enjoy 2023 with healthy legs. If you or someone you love is suffering from painful, achy, swollen or discolored legs, our board-certified vein doctors can help. Join us at our next free vein consultation and get back the quality of life you deserve. RSVP to 336.776.3160, or go online to salemveins.com to register. Now is the time to put your best foot forward and love your legs more this year.

WINSTON-SALEM FAIRGROUNDS CONCERT SERIES – THE FAMILY STONE & ENVISION

Winston-Salem Fairgrounds Annex Theatre

Concerts are BACK! The lineup is set for the 2023 Winston-Salem Fairgrounds Indoor Concert Series indoors at the Winston-Salem Fairgrounds Annex Theatre! Tickets are on sale. The intimate setting of the Fairgrounds will make you feel right at home and up close, no matter where you sit.

If you have an event you’d like to submit, please go to forsythmags.com/calendar-of-events or scan our QR code.

MAY 16

ARDMORE GUIDED HISTORIC ARCHITECTURE WALKING TOUR

6-7:30pm

Join Preservation Forsyth and the Ardmore Neighborhood Association for a guided walking tour of the Ardmore Historic District. A celebration of National Historic Preservation Month, the tour will introduce participants to the people, history and architectural styles, of the Ardmore neighborhood. The program is free for Preservation Forsyth members and $5 for non-members. Space is limited, so find your most comfortable pair of shoes, and reserve your spot today -preservationforsyth.org/events. In the event of thunderstorms or driving rain, the event will be canceled.

MAY 18

ABIDE AND IMBIBE: AN EVENING WITH THE DUDE

6-8pm | 200 North Davie Street in Greensboro.

Raise a toast to the 25th anniversary of The Big Lebowski and raise some FUN with Greensboro Bound at this Greensboro Bound Literary Festival fundraising kick-off event! Award-winning beverage writer André Darlington will entertain you while mixing up a selection of movie-inspired cocktails and fun movie trivia. It’s sure to be a good time, but you know, that’s just, like, our opinion, man. Cost: $30/person. https://bit.ly/3UhdtnU

MAY 19

AN EVENING WITH CHARLES FRAZIER

7-9pm | 200 North Davie Street in Greensboro.

Free event, but registration is required (https://bit.ly/3KtaEf7). National Book Award winner and North Carolina literary legend Charles Frazier has just released his fifth novel, The Trackers, and we’re thrilled to bring him to Greensboro to celebrate his career and latest work. This event is made possible by the generosity of the University Libraries at UNCG. Masking is kindly encouraged at the author’s request. Masks will be provided at the venue.

MAY 20

SPRING FEST POWERED BY BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS SERVICES, INC.

11am-3pm | 200 Marshall Street in W-S.

Join us for the first-ever Spring Fest powered by Big Brothers Big Sisters Services, Inc. The theme is all things Spring. Spend part of your Saturday enjoying food, family friendly face painting, hands-on STEAM activities, take-home gardening crafts, games, a bounce house, DJ Sol Jah spinning records, a shout-out to our BBBS High School graduating Seniors and much more! The event will take place at the Big Brothers Big Sisters Services’ Kate B. Reynolds Mentoring Center in downtown Winston-Salem. This is a rain-or-shine event. bbbsnc.org

FRIENDS AND FAMILY DAY

3:30-6pm | 6131 Frye Bridge Road in Clemmons.

First Christian Church of Clemmons’ 3rd Annual Friends and Family Day includes a car show, bouncy houses and games for children, junk food Bingo, a cake walk and a silent auction which is held online and begins on May 6th. A meal of BBQ, hot dogs, hamburgers, chips, drinks and all the fixings are also provided to everyone free of charge! firstchristianclemmons.com/friends-andfamily day

SUMMERLARK CONCERT

Bailey Park, Downtown Winston-Salem.

Join us for an outdoor concert to raise money for the program that helps ensure cancer patients and their caregivers are supported physically, mentally and emotionally. Musical performances from Chris Lane, a photo booth, food trucks, health care booths, fun for all ages and a fireworks finale! Tickets are available at ticketmaster.com.