14 minute read
Honoring A Griever’s Requests
from FF December 2022
by Forsyth Mags
BY LISA S.T. DOSS
Grief. The word holds a heavy weight at a time of joyous festivity and lights. Family and friends often cannot understand the need to skip the tradition of gathering at one house, bustling with happy children and family and friends. Coping with raw emotions that may feel like molasses or a tidal wave can feel debilitating and overwhelming. It’s perfectly okay to spend Christmas in a quieter environment with just a few loved ones, perhaps, or alone.
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Just Say, “No!”
Normalcy is ideal on most days, except special occasions, events, and especially significant holidays. It’s okay to eliminate putting up the tree and other decorations. No one expects Christmas cards or the usual smells of baked goods emanating from the home. This year, it’s perfectly acceptable to take a break from tradition and engage in activities that provide comfort. Reach out and share your wishes early. It’s essential for family and friends not to challenge the request, but agree.
Plan a Get-Away
A change of scenery can bring inspiration and well-needed reflection. Traveling to the mountains or the beach for an overnight trip or spending a few days visiting several different destinations can bring some solace and a retreat from exhaustion. Escaping pain, even for a short time, often helps.
Honor Your Loved One
Grievers need to say their loved ones name out loud; sharing and hearing stories brings the person to the present. Choose a time and a location to gather, light a candle, and share fond memories. Each person can prepare a way to honor their loved one, whether by poem, story, or artwork. These “normal” moments are well-needed and therapeutic.
A Place of Comfort
A house interior has too many memories, but there is a great spirit to be found among the sky, trees, wind, and flying creatures, like butterflies and dragonflies. Grievers can find a peaceful calm if such a place exists outdoors. In a secluded area, consider creating a place to sit and pray. It may include a bench, plants, and a lantern. In moments when grievers feel the need to connect with their loved ones, a quiet space is steps away!
Connect with Other Grievers
Sometimes a room full of people can feel quite lonely. Grievers often believe they alone hold the burden of a heavy sadness that few understand. It is a gift to meet another person who has a similar story, and together grievers can confirm feelings, identify what is their “new” normal,” and build well-needed connections. Only grievers know if they are ready or want to attend a therapy group. (Ask for help in finding a group to suit your needs.)
Acknowledge Symptoms
Exhaustion consumes the body and triggers waves of anxiety and potentially new symptoms. Many grievers choose to ignore their body’s blatant signals and focus on getting through moment by moment. It’s encouraging when a griever decides to share problems, such as frequent panic attacks, insomnia, or energy loss. It is the initial call for help that a Band-Aid cannot fix. Start talking about solutions to help during those moments and recommend scheduling an appointment with a doctor. By listening and remaining available, family and friends can help to mend a broken heart.
Breathe
Grievers need to actively engage in self-care moments by stopping, closing their eyes, and taking deep breaths. While the world moves at a significant speed, grievers discover their own pace. Reminders, such as “Be gentle with yourself” and “It’s okay to cry!” reaffirm a griever’s need to feel normal.
Be patient, family and friends. Sometimes, a quiet Christmas brings peace!
She caters formal dinners for couples, hosts events for small groups, teaches monthly cooking classes at North Carolina A&T State University, and teaches family and consumer science and apparel classes at North Forsyth High School.
Her busy, food-focused life is a far cry from her 20-year corporate career.
In 2017, Williams’ corporate management position was eliminated, she faced health issues, and her marriage was not working.
“If I had to tell anybody anything, I would say, ‘If you’re faced with a challenge in life, don’t let the challenge control you,’” she said. “Just take the challenge on, just make the best of it, the best that you can. I had a choice. I chose to find a little bit of light. It took me to Second Harvest Food Bank’s Triad Community Kitchen (now Providence Culinary Training), and I was able to flourish from there.”
Williams had always enjoyed the creativity of food and, as a child, she would “try anything once. My grandmother called me her ‘culture child.’ Eating in a restaurant, I am tasting and breaking down the flavor profile, figuring out how this can be executed.”
She enrolled in the Culinary Class 57 of the Providence Culinary Training, a program of Second Harvest Food Bank of Northwest NC.
Since its inception in 2006, more than 845 students have graduated from the program. Students assist in preparing some 18,000 meals for children and seniors each week as part of the curriculum, and Providence Catering, a non-profit catering enterprise and the second largest catering business in Forsyth County, provides revenue to support the culinary program.
“The program was my happy place, my bright place,” Williams said. “Everybody has a place they have to go in life. That’s where I started the journey. That was a really pivotal point for me. It was my therapy. As far as my class, we all bonded. It was almost like we gravitated to each other. I still keep in contact with at least three classmates. We still consider ourselves family. Different walks of life brought us there, and we supported each other. We were in this together.”
Classmates created the hashtag “57forlife.” Williams appreciated her chef instructors, who provided a variety of hands-on experiences, and interned at Forsyth Country Club and a local restaurant.
“It wasn’t some ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ chef shouting at you,” she said. “For me, it’s community and family. That’s what Providence represented for me. I will never be able to forget what ‘57’ meant to me. It’s a launching pad. You can do what you want to do with it. It’s art. You make it what you want to make it.”
After graduating from the program, Williams started her own business, Flavor 57 Personal Chef Services and Catering LLC, with a menu full of “Southern comfort” dishes.
She prepares her food at the Enterprise Center, which has a commercial kitchen, then transports the meals to her business space where she serves small, formal dinners and caters events.
Business was well underway when COVID hit, she said. In fact, her business picked up because as a private chef, she hosted events that enabled families to get out of their homes in a safe place. She built relationships with customers, who hired her to cook in their homes during COVID. Other connections blossomed. After high school, Williams had enrolled at N.C. A&T State University and graduated from High Point University. Her membership in Alpha Kappa Alpha, the first intercollegiate historically African American sorority, reinforced her desire to give back to her community. She said, “Wherever I can give back, in any type of way, that is what makes my heart smile, and I’m living out of a purpose.”
Williams has returned to A&T as a chef, and through A&T’s association with the N.C. Cooperative Extension Service, she teaches a healthy habits cooking class for the community. She recently completed a video demonstrating how to take traditional meals that families enjoy and make them healthier.
Meanwhile, her oldest son graduated from high school in 2018, and her youngest will graduate in 2023, and Williams, recognizing the pending “empty nest syndrome,” prepared for her next phase.
“I found myself not having a lot to do during the day,” she said, since most of her major catering events occurred on weekends. She began substitute teaching at North Forsyth High school, and the school offered her a full-time position in its family and consumer science program. North Forsyth also recognized the opportunity to use Williams’ experience in the apparel industry to benefit the students.
Williams seeks to continually grow and impact her community. Through her teaching, she’s seen, “What was so clear to me, these babies don’t know how to do anything,” she said with a laugh, recalling that students thought washing dishes simply meant putting them in a dishwasher.
“I feel like along the way in society, we’ve lost sight of trades and skills and design and automotive,” she said. “I’m looking at my next phase. I do want to have a nonprofit to teach those life skills. If I could teach one person and make a difference in one person’s life, it will just make me happy.”
As her business plans grow, she is looking for space to not only hold formal dinners but also community events.
“Community has become so important to me,” Williams said, and she credits Providence with where she is today.
What began as “a downward spiral turned into this beautiful situation where I’m able to use all my gifts. I love food; I love kids; I love being creative. I’m so glad I’m here. I’m passionate about what I do. I reach the kids.”
For more information about Chef Williams and Flavor57, go to flavor57. com or email admin@flavor57.com.
Food brings us together. Find out how you can get involved and support programs like Second Harvest's Providence Culinary Training this holiday season. Visit SecondHarvestNWNC.org.
Preparing Your Finances for a Recession
Definition of Recession: A period of temporary economic decline during which trade and industrial activity are reduced, generally identified by a fall in GDP in two successive quarters. From Oxford Languages. The problem with recessions is that we’ll probably be in the middle of one or exiting one before a committee of eight economists at the National Bureau of Economic Research makes the official call. With that lack of precision in mind and the fact that many media outlets, economists and data points are suggesting that we will be in a recession in 2023, let’s think about how to prepare for one. Here are some ideas to help recession proof your finances: The last recession was the Great Recession. It officially started in December 2007 and ended in June 2009, according to FederalReserveHistory.org. Unemployment rose from 5 percent to 10 percent, the value of homes dropped 30 percent and the S&P 500 fell 57 percent. Unemployment: Usually the prospect of losing a job is the scariest part of a recession. The threat of an extended period of reduced income and the loss of health insurance – especially for those who are living paycheck-to-paycheck – can be terrifying. TruliantThe most proactive step to recession-proof your finances is to make yourself indispensable at work. Look for ways to go above and beyond what is expected and develop your skills so you are an expert in one or more essential functions at work. In other words, make your company think twice or three times about eliminating your job because of the critical skills that you offer. Emergency fund: An emergency fund with at least six months of income saved in a money market fund or a savings account will make a recession less traumatic. This money will ensure that you are able to pay necessary expenses – food, utilities, rent, mortgage, etc. – if you lose your job. Reduce spending: Eliminate unnecessary expenses as quickly as possible. Look at every expense for the last three months and ask yourself and the members of your family whether a particular expense can be reduced or eliminated. Here are some specific items to consider: streaming services, cable services, eating out, cell phones, memberships, subscriptions, entertainment, clothes, extra groceries, hair and nail care, bottled water and expensive coffee. New sources of income: Fortunately, side hustles and the gig economy have never been easier to enter. There are now many ways to earn extra money through rideshare apps, delivery services, freelance opportunities or making part of your home an Airbnb destination. One or more of There are now many ways to earn extra money. these options has the power to significantly reduce the financial pain and anxiety of a recession. Debt: When the economy is healthy, debt is a tool to increase your purchasing power and the opportunities that you and your family can enjoy. But the risk of layoffs and significantly reduced income can make even small debts a burden. If you are able, now is the time to eliminate as many debts as possible, and to avoid taking on any additional debt. An opportunity: Recessions are never fun. But if you approach the economic turbulence of a the recession as an opportunity to find additional sources of income, strengthen your financial position, build an emergency fund and pay off high-interest debt you will reap the benefits long after recession of 2023 has become a distant memory. Truliant can help: Truliant has a series of financial tips by Chris Browning, one of the top financial podcasters in the country. He has several Truliant videos about preparing for a recession: truliant.org/moneyburst.
Did you know that:
North Carolina is the 32nd ranked state in terms of childhood health. Poor health can come from stress, poor nutrition, abuse, lack of health care, and inadequate housing.
• In 2019, almost 11% of babies born in Forsyth
County were considered below a healthy birth weight (5.5 pounds). Low birth weights are an indicator for health issues in babies and children, including the risk of death within year one.
• In 2019, 50.2% of children in
Forsyth County lived in poor or lowincome homes.
• In 2019, only 6% of children in North
Carolina had health insurance. This is a 2% decrease from 2010.
• In 2019, 53.9 children out of 1,000 were assessed for abuse or neglect in
Forsyth County. • In 2019, there were 62.8 child deaths per 100,000.
Improving these statistics will take a collaborative effort of many in Forsyth County. For this reason, Smart Start of Forsyth County not only provides resource services for families but also for Child Care Centers across the county through our Child Care Health Consultation Services program.
Child Care Health Consultation (CCHC) Services are provided through SSFC’s Manager of Child Care Health Services, a trained Public Health Professional. This professional will come to the site to provide technical assistance in the form of consultation and coaching to early educators. The consultant will also conduct health and safety assessments and provide training related to health and safety topics to child care providers and early educators, allowing them opportunities to continue their own education.
Smart Start of Forsyth County will implement activities that follow the CCHC Service Model, which was founded to ensure consistent statewide
child care health services that positively impact the quality of care received in early care and education settings. The CCHC Service Model is in alignment with Caring for Our Children, National Health and Safety Performance Standards, Guidelines for Early Care and Education Programs (CFOC), and the National Center on Early Childhood Health and Wellness’s Child Care Health Consultant Competencies.
At Smart Start our vision is to create an equitable early childhood system that will foster an environment for learning, growing, developing, and succeeding. Together, with our collective work, we can improve the child care climate within Forsyth County and diminish these disparities amongst the children in our community. CCHCs are skilled to provide training and support in the following areas:
• Quality health, wellness and safety practices • Policy development andimplementation • Health education
• Resource and referral
• Illness and infectious diseases
• Children with special healthcare needs • Medical administration
• Safety and injury prevention • Emergency preparedness, response and recovery • Infant and child social and emotional well-being • Child abuse and neglect • Nutrition and physical activity • Oral health
• Environmental health
• Staff health and wellness
Statistics show that this service and subject is important to child care centers and their staff, as well as to area families. Together, we can improve the child care climate within Forsyth County. This program is available to child care providers and facilities for free, as a way of helping child care programs maintain a healthy and safe environment. The CCHC services are intended to help build capacity in a much-needed area of child care and staff development.
Allow Smart Start of Forsyth County to be not only a resource, but an ally for you and your child care facility! To learn more about how we can be of service to you or your facility, please visit our website at www.SmartStart-FC.org.
