FF August 2020

AUGUST 2020

Merhoff

AUGUST 2020 / 1

WFBH

celebrating our first birthday Our Birth Center is celebrating its first birthday! This year, we have hit some milestones of our own, including welcoming more than 2,500 new babies.

The Birth Center at Wake Forest Baptist Health offers you and your baby the highest-quality care available in the region, with the latest amenities, comforts and unsurpassed expertise.

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Coming Soon to the West End of Winston-Salem

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contents

IN EVERY ISSUE

32 COVER STORY

46 My Grace-Full Life

Is God Who We Think He Is?

34 Mentorship & Family at Tina S. Merhoff & Associates Pediatric Dentistry

52 It’s a Grand Life

Traveling and Tutoring

16

56 Triad Moms On Main

Kid-Approved Smoothie Recipes

FEATURES 8

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58 Kids in the Kitchen

Integrating History Meaningfully

Fun Summertime Snacks!

16 Resolving Teen Phone Addiction

60 The View from My Section - A Father’s Perspective

Advice for the Class of 2020

24 7 Ways to Handle Criticism Better 26 Puberty and Conversations

64 A Sweet Ending

Homemade Caramel Apples

32 Educational Preparedness for the Next Level: High School

48

38 Tips and Tidbits on Staying on Task with Time Management 40 Vitamin N: Kids and the Need for Nature!

44 Black Lives Matter to God 48

Travels with Charlie

50

$aving Money in College

40 64

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I

continue to feel like I am living in the “Twilight Zone” (imagine the Twilight Zone theme song playing in the background now). This marks the fifth “From the Heart” I have written since COVID-19. Governor Cooper just announced we will remain in Phase 2 for another three weeks (another two by the time this publishes). Like the rest of the world, I am tired of this! I am most tired of not seeing smiling faces back at me because smiling is my jam! I am tired of having mini-panic attacks when I feel like I can’t breathe. But folks, we must persevere and we must do this in order to get some semblance of normalcy back into our lives. I must admit I was not the best at wearing the mask in the beginning. I just felt like the distancing and constant handwashing/sanitizing was enough. Clearly it was not and I dutifully wear the mask in public places now. I recently saw a Facebook post regarding mask wearing that goes like this…

I wear my mask in public for three reasons: 1. Humility: I don’t know if I have COVID, as it is clear that people can spread the disease before they have the symptoms.

2. Kindness: I don’t know if the person I am near has a child battling cancer, or cares for their elderly mom. While I might be fine, they might not.

3. Community: I want my community to thrive, businesses to stay open, employees to stay healthy. Keeping a lid on COVID helps us all.

Ordinarily, this issue would reek of back-to-school info. But as everyone knows, this will be no ordinary school year. My hat goes off to the WSFCS school personnel for all the hard work and tough decisions they are having to make!

Lastly, I want to congratulate my friend (aka sister I never had) and business partner Keela Johnson on her upcoming retirement announcement. Forsyth Mags would not be without her. She is one of the most fearless, tireless and amazing humans I know and I am forever grateful for the opportunity she gave me to ride along! Enjoy this phase of life to the fullest, my friend!

And to her daughter Brooke, the best is yet to be! I look forward to working alongside you and seeing where this road takes us! I have no doubt you will fill your mom’s shoes and then some!

Blessings!

PUBLISHER Robin Bralley • Robin@ForsythMags.com

COVER PHOTOGRAPHY Marco Basile Images

SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Tamara Bodford

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS JEJ Photos Marco Basile Images Photo Artistry by Melinda

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Morgan Bralley Brooke Eagle Heather Spivey

CONTENT EDITORS Tim Sellner Meghan Corbett (Assistant)

OTHER CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Robin Bralley • Lisa S. T. Doss • Stuart Epperson, Jr • Tabi Falcone Family Services • Julie Fritz • Denise Heidel • Anna Keller Brittany M. Orie Leak • Kristi J. Marion • Marzano Capital Group Susan Schabacker • Megan Taylor • A. Keith Tilley • Sara Wiles Susan Woodall GRAPHIC DESIGN & PRODUCTION Laurie Dalton WEB DESIGN/MAINTENANCE Nu • NuExpression.com

ADVERTISING Advertising@ForsythMags.com

EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Vonda Henderson

IT SUPPORT TriadMac • TriadMac.com

BACK OFFICE & VIRTUAL ASSISTANT The Office Nerd, Denise Heidel

SENIOR STAFF WRITERS Meghan Corbett • Denise Heidel • Carolyn Peterson

CONTACT www.forsythfamilymagazine.com • 888-892-3204

FORSYTH FAMILY DISCLAIMER Please note that the inclusion of stories and articles in Forsyth Family magazine does not imply endorsement of products or people. The views of the authors are

presented for information and entertainment only, and may not necessarily reflect the views of Forsyth Family. Specifically, Forsyth Family in no way endorses any claim associated with health and/or well being with respect to any particular person. We disclaim all warranties, express or implied,including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose. We will not be held responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any loss or damage that is caused or alleged to have been caused in connection with the use of, or reliance on, any content in this magazine. Forsyth Family reserves the right to deny any advertisement or listing that does not meet Forsyth Family standards. Submissions are welcome but unsolicited materials are not guaranteed to be returned. Forsyth Family assumes no responsibility for information, products, services or statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. ©2007

by Forsyth Family Magazine, Inc.

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Making Dollars, Making $ense The 50/30/20 Rule

Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC, Investment advice offered through Independent Advisor Alliance, a registered investment advisor, Independent Advisor Alliance and Marzano Capital Group are separate entities from LPL Financial.

If

you’re like millions of Americans, you often live from paycheck to paycheck, working just to “get by,” without the opportunity to develop significant wealth or long-term savings. And unless you’re the chairman of a Fortune 500 company or a recent lottery winner, chances are you live on a tight budget to make sure ends meet. Developing a budget to manage monthly finances is a great way to make sure that your bills are paid on time and you don’t get overextended. However, many people forget to include paying themselves as part of their budget, and again forgo the opportunity to build wealth over time. Fortunately, the “50/30/20” budget plan allows you to do so.

The 50/30/20 rule works for individuals and families at all income levels. It’s a simple program that can help you take control of your finances. The program works like this: your after-tax monthly income is broken down into three categories: Fixed expenses, discretionary spending, and savings: • FIXED EXPENSES: These are the expenses that you know you will have every month. The goal of the budget is to limit these expenses to no more than 50 percent of your after-tax monthly income, allowing for the other 50 percent of your money to be used in other areas. Examples include: 1. Rent/mortgage 2. Car payment 3. Utilities 4. Child care 5. Food

BY MARZANO CAPITAL GROUP

• DISCRETIONARY SPENDING: Think of this category as “nice to have,” not “have to have.” These are the items that you are not contractually obligated to pay every month, which should be kept to 30 percent of your monthly budget. Here are some examples: 1. Restaurants 2. Entertainment 3. Vacations 4. Clothing 5. Gifts • SAVINGS: In order to accumulate wealth, it is important to make sure and pay yourself every month.

The savings portion of your monthly budget should be 20 percent of your after-tax salary. This category includes: 1. General savings 2. Retirement savings 3. College funds

Marzano

Let’s say that a family of four has a monthly after-tax income of $6,000. Their breakdown may look like this: FIXED EXPENSES: • Mortgage: $1,200 • Car payments: $ 700 • Utilities: $ 500 • Phone: $ 200 • Child care: $ 400 DISCRETIONARY SPENDING: • Restaurants: $ 600 • Clothing: $ 350 • Entertainment: $ 450 • Gifts: $ 200

SAVINGS: • General savings: $ 600 • College fund: $ 200 • Retirement: $ 400 The family above has kept their fixed expenses to $3,000, or 50 percent of their aftertax income. As a result, they are able to use 30 percent of their income for discretionary spending, and more importantly, have $1,200 per month to put towards college funds and savings. That’s more than $14,000 per year the family is able to save.

Using the 50-30-20 budget is a great way to put yourself on solid financial footing, both now and in the future. It allows those who use the program to budget in order to take care of necessary items, have funds available to have some fun during the month, while still building savings in a responsible manner. The 50/30/20 rule also gives users the flexibility to deal with unexpected events while still maintaining necessary expenses, and helps individuals and families figure out what they can and can’t afford, reducing the number of extraneous or “impulse” purchases.

So, if you’re having difficulty setting and maintaining a budget, and are interested in developing long-term savings, the 50-30-20 approach may work for you.

Content in this material is for general information only and not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.

AUGUST 2020 / 7

Integrating History Meaningfully

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

History

is a collection of interpretations or memories from a multitude of sources, such as leaders or everyday people. From the moment bright, young eyes peer through a doorway, for example, the mind immediately records the moment through texture, smells, interactions, voices, facial expressions, colors, and objects. Living in the moment makes even a child part of the journey through history, an expert in the now. Only the trip back in time can lead a child to unravel the present day’s events and use the cyclical nature of history to reveal what’s coming.

Planetariums can offer spectacular night displays featuring the transition of constellations from one season to the next. Children can learn much about their home planet just by looking upward; for example, by studying the shapes and coloring in clouds, watching the birds’ movement, and what occurs during a planetary alignment. The first human timekeepers in history offered more than just a study of telescopes; they sought to learn how the universe, especially the moon, impacted our planet.

Geography Children need to know how they fit into their community. Walking down Main Street provides a sensory experience. She knows the public library as the place of special events and fondly recalls story hour. There’s the park and a tree once climbed, a hardware store and the man who hands out lollipops with a smile—and the stories continue to build. Each time a child steps onto the concrete or pathway, she establishes a sense of belonging within human geography. One vital question to ask is, “How did time impact one particular location?”

The Piedmont Triad has expansive museums, churches, cemeteries, gardens, the historic district, old-school restaurants, and buildings, all of which can all bring the past to the current visitor! Whether it’s as a guide, attendant, or chaperone, historians love to share their knowledge, especially to children who show an inkling of interest!

Education does not end in one county. North Carolina has 100 counties to provide an indepth understanding of our state.

Space and Universe It feels good to lie back into the soft blades of grass and allow the mind to wonder. The view of layering clouds leads to a curiosity beyond the eye. Basic knowledge of the stars, moon, and planets feeds a desire to learn more. For children eight and older, a study of mythology, coupled with reading mythological sagas, aids in understanding a few of the most recognizable constellations, Ursa Major and Minor, and Orion and his dog, Sirius. Further interest may lead to owning a pair of binoculars or a telescope to pick out details, such as craters on the moon, and the extraordinary experience of viewing a planet.

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First in Flight The phrase “First in Flight” represents an achievement in North Carolina. The names of Orville and Wilbur Wright are just one pair to advance our state forward in aviation. Rather than making the long journey to Kitty Hawk, the Aviation and Hall of Fame museums are not far from home. Stepping into the past, visitors will learn about individual, dynamic flyers or well-known groups, such as the “Tar Heel Airman,” “The Tuskegee Airmen,” and “The Lafayette Escadrille.” Aircraft enthusiasts may enjoy standing among the flyers to watch a list of classic films, Twelve O’clock High, The Great Escape, Memphis Belle, Tuskegee Airmen, and The Lafayette Escadrille to gain an insight into the character of the men and women who flew.

Not all inventive attempts were successful; yet, it’s the initial steps, from watching a bird take flight to witnessing a paper airplane sail across a room, which begins a thought process.

Adventure is right around the corner. Where will you take a child by the hand and go first? A museum? A historic downtown or a restaurant? In following the footsteps of those who came before, our children can take steady strides to lead them and us into an inspirational future!

Club Pilates

AUGUST 2020 / 9

Kids Say “No” to Long Car Rides

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

Fret

not, dads and moms! You’ve anticipated the chance to escape, whether it’s meeting extended family members or taking a well-needed vacation.

The biggest concern now is the extended time cooped up in the vehicle with irritable children. What are the options outside of listening to a mournful soundtrack of “How much longer?” Providing headphones or a tablet can only distract the woeful cries for so long. With careful planning, a road trip can be a positive experience of enjoying each other’s company, playing games, seeing new sights, and most importantly, creating memories! Ready to start planning?

Backseat Organizers Eliminate the mess on the floor; instead, consider investing in an organizational compartment that securely attaches onto the seat. Kids can have a safe location to keep cups or water bottles, books, and a few other essentials in hand’s reach!

Snacks Most often, when children are bored, they look to eating. Prepare lunch pouches with a variety of nutritious foods specifically designed for each child. If Sam loves grapes, peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches, cashews, and animal crackers, the goal is to promote contentment! Ziploc bags, depending on the child’s age, are an easy way to contain a variety of foods. While compartmental trays can hold a wide range of snacks, the tray is likely to end up crushed into the upholstery.

Tip: When packing snacks, think fruits, also dehydrated, such as banana chips and mangoes. Try to avoid foods that contain too much sugar or salt, which may lead to an upset stomach.

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Listen to an Audiobook

“Would You Rather?” Game

Expand the imagination by listening to a story every member of the family can enjoy! While downloading books is one option, check out your library for either CD or digital downloads. Children can listen up to two years above their reading level; however, check that the content is appropriate. Examples of authors:

The curious game asks questions such as, “Would you rather have bright purple hair or blue feet? or, “Would you rather have duck feet or a bird’s wings?” To encourage reading, printable cards are available online or families can design their own.

• Ages 5 to 7: R oald Dahl, Kate DiCamillo, Mary Pope Osborne, C.S. Lewis • Ages 7 to 8: A ngie Sage, Cressida Cowell, Dave Berry and Ridley Pearson, J.K. Rowling, Christopher Healy • Ages 8 to 10: J ohnathan Stroud, Brandon Mull, E.G. Foley, Rick Riordan, Eoin Colfer Some books, such as Septimus Heap, The Wizards of Once, Bartimaeus Artemis Fowl, The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom, and many more, expand across three to eight volumes. A high-interest series can fulfill the active listener throughout short trips and during the drive home.

Scavenger Hunt Children as young as four would relish the responsibility of hunting for items on a list. For preschool-aged children, consider a grid full of letters, shapes, and colors!

Older kids may enjoy a more challenging game, perhaps words from signs; symbols, such as a palm tree on a license plate; or specific names of states. With parent support, the game can produce an hour of happy chatter!

Books From library books to home collections, children will want to bring books from home. Consider adding non-fiction books featuring facts, mazes, crosswords, Mad Libs, and “I Spy” books. Consider a 30-minute period to encourage reading, followed by a time when children can talk about the information learned!

Maps Through a print-out of the journey, children can answer the question, “Where are we and how much further? A map provides a sense of control to understand the journey, and learn from the many locations along the way. With crayons or colored pencils, children may enjoy decorating the map when leaving cities or states!

Utilize Stopovers Rest stops are an ideal location to quickly zip off the highway and take a well-needed bathroom break; also, children need to stretch their legs. Alternative stops may be at a park or on downtown Main Street to walk, observe, and relax. If stopping for meals, park at a distance!

With plenty of ideas that your child will enjoy, you are bound to have a great road tripping experience! Before the ignition revs up the vehicle, ask the troops, “Are you ready for an adventure?” Yes!

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C A LVA R Y

I N T R O D U C E S

WILL TOBUREN S E N I O R

PA S TO R

In the fall of 2019, Calvary Baptist Church commissioned a Pastor Search Team to lead the search for its next Senior Pastor. For 10 months this team worked diligently and prayerfully to identify candidates that met biblical qualifications for the position and characteristics that were unique for the church.

On June 21, 2020, Calvary Baptist Church members overwhelmingly and enthusiastically affirmed the call of Will Toburen to be its next Senior Pastor. Will has served as the Executive Pastor for Discipleship Ministry at The Summit Church in Durham, NC for the last seven years.

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Will was born in Ogden, Utah in 1971 to Rick and Donna Toburen. His father was stationed at Hill Air Force Base, and it was there that both Rick and Donna were led to Christ by Bill Fulton, an Air Force chaplain. Upon completing their military service, the Toburens moved back to North Carolina, eventually landing in Winston-Salem, where they became faithful members of Calvary Baptist Church.

From an early age Will was engaged in the ministries of Calvary. At the age of nine, Will surrendered his life to Christ and was baptized shortly thereafter. Through his middle school and high school years, Will remained active in the life of the church, while also pursuing his love for competitive swimming.

After graduating from North Forsyth High School in 1989, Will went on to attend North Carolina State University as a scholarship athlete in swimming, and earned an undergraduate degree in Business Administration. During his freshman year Will met his future wife Julie, also a varsity swimmer.

While at NC State Will began to sense God leading him to consider full time ministry following graduation. After graduating, Will applied to serve as a Student Ministry intern at Calvary. Upon completing his internship, and with the affirmation of church leaders, Will began his studies at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, where he eventually graduated with a Master of Arts in Religious Education in 1997.

Will and Julie were married in 1994 and moved to Charlotte, NC. While attending seminary, Will joined the staff of Hickory Grove Baptist Church where he worked with both the high school and college ministries for a little over two years. In January 1997, Will and Julie moved back to Winston-Salem, where Will rejoined the Student Ministry staff at Calvary working primarily with middle school students and their families.

In 2003, Will transitioned roles and began providing teaching and organizational leadership to the newly established contemporary services. Additionally, Will started working with Calvary’s college, young professionals, and internship ministries. As Calvary continued to grow through this season, church leadership began exploring the possibility of opening an additional campus in Davie County. Will served as part of a team that helped launch Calvary West in the spring of 2009. From 2009 to 2013, Will served as the teaching pastor at Calvary West while also providing leadership to the Calvary West staff team.

In April 2013, Will and Julie made the decision to respond to a call to serve as the Executive Pastor for Discipleship Ministries at The Summit Church in Durham, NC. While the decision to transition to a new church after 16 years at Calvary was difficult, it proved to be a fruitful and gratifying season of ministry. In addition to his focus on discipleship, Will served as a part of the Summit’s preaching team.

“Calvary Baptist Church has a long standing history in the Triad that spans over 100 years, and we are humbled and honored by this opportunity to be a part of Calvary’s future. While we have absolutely loved our time at The Summit Church, Julie and I, along with our family, are excited to build on Calvary’s rich heritage as we serve the congregation and share the hope of Jesus Christ both in our communities and around the world.”

Will and Julie have four children: Abby (senior - The University of South Carolina), Jackson (freshman - North Carolina State University), Blake (9th grade), and Alex (6th grade). Will officially begins his role as the Senior Pastor of Calvary Baptist Church on July 12, 2020.

LIFE CONNECTED

c a l v a r y n o w . c o m AUGUST 2020 / 13

Salem Gymnastics & Swim Is Back and Better Than Ever

BY JULIE FRITZ

COVID-19

has been hard on small businesses. Many have had to close their doors, and others have had to work extremely hard to keep them open. One local business has taken this time to turn a terrible situation into a positive one. At Salem Gymnastics & Swim, they have used this time to reexamine their company and update their facility, policies, and procedures to open their doors better and safer than ever.

Salem Gymnastics was opened in 1980 by Frank and Barbara Minter. At that time, it was in a small building on the fairgrounds.

Soon after opening, they moved to a newly constructed building near Hanes Mall, where they were located till 2001. During that time, the Minter’s daughter and son-in-law, Beth and Kenny Morphis, took over the day-to-day operations of this Mom and Pop company. In August of 2001, they moved to their current location, which is more than three times the size of their former building.

Seeing the need for a swim school in the community, they added the pool and swim instruction in 2016. Over time, they’ve grown to fill their space, and have become a staple for families in the Triad. This year marks 40 years of serving this community, and they have served us well.

In March of this year, life changed for all of us, Salem Gymnastics & Swim included.

Beth said, “At first, we thought we’d close for about a week or two and reevaluate.

Once we realized this would be long-term, we decided we needed to figure out two things. One, how will we survive this? And two, how can we come out of this stronger and better?”

When it came to surviving the pandemic, they’ve been overwhelmed by the support of their community. “With ten full-time and dozens of part-time employees on the payroll, we immediately knew that

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our closure would affect not just us, but those who rely on us for their livelihood.

Our customers came through, with over 200 families opting to continue paying tuition, even though our doors were closed. We were touched and humbled by this gesture and were determined to use these resources to better the company,” said Kenny. They were also able to secure a PPP loan, which helped them continue to pay core staff salaries and keep the building afloat. They have made repairs and physical improvements to the facility and implemented new safety measures like plexiglass shields, touchless faucets, and pit covers.

Next, they took the time to think about how they would come back stronger and better.

Beth explained, “I never thought in our 40th year we’d be reopening as a new business, but that’s in essence what we have done.

Over the last 40 years, we have grown a lot, but our business structure has not always grown with us. We used this time to step back and reexamine the entire company.

We’ve updated policies and procedures, redefined our staff members’ roles, deepcleaned and updated the facility, and, in the end, we really are a new company. We have the best staff in our history and are the best version of Salem Gymnastics & Swim ever.”

They also took this time to retrain the staff, focusing on several areas. First, they’ve provided additional technical training for both swim and gymnastics instructors. This training has helped them become better teachers and will improve the outcome for their students. Next, they trained the staff on procedures and protocols as they relate to COVID-19. They learned valuable information about the virus and how to protect their students and themselves.

They’ve also been trained on cleaning and mask policies. Workshops were held for

the Leadership Team and a full day of team building occurred for the entire staff on what would have been Salem’s 40th annual Gold Medal Day. Says Kenny, “We’re very proud of the hard work our staff has put in over the past three months. We have seen them grow in their professionalism and commitment to the families we serve.”

If you have ever visited the facility before, you’ll notice the changes they have made as soon as you walk in their door. They’ve implemented lots of new things to help keep you and your children safe during the pandemic. The entire facility has been spaced for social distancing, and handsanitizing stations are plentiful. There’s a lobby greeter to welcome you upon entry and direct you to a safe space where you can watch your child’s class. The locker room has been closed, there are no cubbies or furniture in the lobby, and there’s one-way lobby traffic to prevent close contact with other families. You’ll be asked to wear a mask if you’re within 6 feet of anyone, but students won’t be wearing masks during class. Instead, swim instructors wear face shields to protect themselves and their students, and gymnastics classes are set up in stations, so students can remain socially distanced. Also, gymnastics classes will have students rotating stations and will handsanitize between rotations. Between each class, there are cleaning procedures the staff performs to sanitize high-touch areas. It’s more than apparent that they’re putting your family’s safety at the top of their priority list.

Salem Gymnastics & Swim is open and ready to help your child grow their skills in the gym or the pool today. They’re located at 4870 Country Club Rd in Winston-Salem.

For more information or to enroll your child, please call 336.765.4668, or visit their website at salemgym.com.

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Resolving Teen Phone Addiction

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

Pride

and humor are reactions by parents and onlookers to a toddler who can scroll through and change websites on an iPad without any guidance. At the age of eight, the phone mysteriously leaves its placement to be heard in another room, along with a child’s muffled giggling. Arriving at the age of a pre-teen, children have a complicated relationship with technology.

There is an expectation of having a phone in and out of the classroom. A phone manages their social lives, connections, and maintains the organization of activities and appointments. The phone is the first thing their hand touches in a state of awakened consciousness and the last object before they fall asleep. How do parents ensure technology doesn’t result in addiction?

OBSESSION What teens say: • 92% go online throughout the day, while 24% claim to be online “almost constantly.”

• 94% access the Internet through their cell phones.

• 71% connect to Facebook, followed by Instagram (52%), then Snapchat (44%).

and comments. Science claims there’s a biological component here similar to the brain’s reaction to a drug. Sounds from an alert or ring trigger the brain to release dopamine, which connects to pleasure and rewards.

HOW DID IT EVOLVE? Rather than ’tweens and teens hanging out at the mall or movie theater, social media arrived to replace the congregation of bodies. Rather than organizing a time and place for kids to interact, social media eliminates the structure and gathering locations that are off-limits; therefore, they can try on identities without worrying about adult oversight, and determine a way to express themselves while connecting with peers. “Identity” arrives in the form of selfies and videos, profanity, or judgmental behavior. As stress extends to a strained relationship or difficulty at school or home, ’tweens and teens hide behind a screen.

With no place to turn, the phone becomes a coping mechanism for seeking praise and acceptance. Hiding from real-life-situations, anguish, and emotional pain is a form of escapism.

A MODERN CONDITION

• 77% text and tweet messages while in bed.

Addiction brings to mind a dependency on a drug, or an illegal act, such as stealing; yet, a cell phone addiction leads to levels of anxiety, depression, concentration, and sleep. Questions parents can ask themselves:

• 66% claim cell phones negatively affect sleep.

• Do my children avoid social interaction to use the phone?

Parents may describe their child’s cell phone use merely as an “obsession”; yet, an addiction goes well beyond the need to scroll, text, and talk. The phone is equivalent to receiving admiration, approval, and criticism. Rather than engaging in conversation, teens seek “likes” and responses from their posts

• Do they complain about a sore neck or constant headaches?

• 52% talk on a cell phone while driving, and 32% text while driving.

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• Is losing phone use the only punishment that matters?

• Without use of a cell phone or service, are their emotions characterized by anxiety, irritability, or uncontrollable violence?

• I s there any unexplainable change in mood, hygiene, eating, or sleep habits?

• I s the phone continuously checked, even without an indication of an alert?

• I s the phone used while walking, crossing the street, or driving?

SOLUTIONS Teens and ’tweens may not realize why they need the phone for emotional, physical, and social support. Lecturing rarely results in favorable behavior; instead, there are viable ways to encourage conversation and create a healthy connection with and without technology.

MAKE A PLAN: Have a family conversation regarding setting healthy limits and boundaries on phone use. Parents, too, need to model the designated house rules, such as removing phones from the dinner table, bathrooms, and family activities.

BEDTIME RULES: Does a phone need to be on a pillow or the nightstand? By eliminating the beeps and rings, teens can sleep without interruptions. Make a plan to designate a centralized location for all household phones and computers, and the hour of “shut down.” Every member must adhere to the agreement!

SCREEN TIME SETTING: Devices, including televisions, computers, and some phones, have the option to set timers. Limiting hours of connectivity can ease anger and frustration levels, and enforce alternative activities, such as getting outdoors.

Monitoring, from limiting phone usage to checking online behavior, can ensure healthy relationships and prevent bullying.

Regulating phone behavior is a responsible action. Plans may feel unnecessary; yet, they can guide ’tweens and teens to appropriately balance relationships and live in the real-world through the gift of technology.

Honda?

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With the new GTI™ you can now listen to your favorite tunes, take whatever you need with a larger front storage and LinQ™ attachment system, plus you’ll enjoy a bigger swim platform and improved stability.

Visit us to start your Sea-Doo Life

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6209 Ramada Drive | Clemmons, NC 27012 | 336.765.0330 | www.HondaWS.com ©2019 Bombardier Recreational Products Inc. (BRP). All rights reserved. ®, ™ and the BRP logo are trademarks of BRP or its affiliates. Some models depicted may include optional equipment.

Carefully read the operator’s guide and safety instructions. Observe applicable laws and regulations. Always wear appropriate protective clothing, including a personal flotation device and wetsuit bottoms. Riding and alcohol/drugs don’t mix. See your authorized BRP dealer for details.

AUGUST 2020 / 17

A Lake Retreat at the Base of the Blue Ridge Her love of design and historic neighborhoods are evident in the Smitherman’s West End home and through Amy’s service with Creative Corridors and the Forsyth Historic Resources Commission. Her creative flair is also present in their lake home, designed to maximize nearly 360-degree water views and provide luxurious guest quarters. The apartment features a full kitchen and dining area, as well as private patio space, a fire pit, barbeque and hot tub.

While the bungalow is available to rent just for the fun of it, it also serves a purpose. “I have a lifelong love of houses,” said Amy. “After we built this home I decided to get my Virginia real estate license and affiliate with MKB. I also started Porch Lady Properties to offer a unique real estate experience for those looking for a vacation home, retirement home, or investment property at Smith Mountain Lake.” Prospective buyers can stay in our bungalow, and I can take them to view properties all around Smith Mountain Lake. They get to view the property from the shore, but they also get to experience the community and see the property from the lake perspective. For those who want to explore on their own, a pontoon boat, kayak, canoe and two stand-up paddleboards are available for rent,” said Amy. “With 500 miles of shoreline, there’s plenty to see and enjoy!”

Smith Mountain Lake is a hidden gem less than two hours away, next to the gorgeous Virginia Blue Ridge Mountains.

Its clear green water and lush landscape will make the hustle of the Triad a distant memory. It’s where a former WinstonSalem designer turned a planned vacation retreat into a realty business with a waterfront Airbnb.

Meet Amy Smitherman—a woman with an innovative spirit, a love for houses, and the vision to bring it all together. She and her husband, David, own a beautiful home on Smith Mountain Lake in Penhook, VA. Though Winston-Salem is home in many ways, they built the house as a retreat for now, and for relocation later. But they didn’t design their home only for themselves.

They designed it to include a separate entrance and separate parking, perfect guest accommodations for a lake getaway!

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Smith Mountain Lake, or SML for those in the know, is the largest lake entirely in Virginia and is known for its bountiful Striper fishing, wide-open watersport spots and breathtaking mountain views. It is minutes away from the hip foodie city of Roanoke and home to more than 25 marinas and waterfront restaurants. Vacationers enjoy the short drive to the Blue Ridge Parkway and the endless vistas from the Peaks of Otter. It is the perfect driving location for a short vacation or a family’s second home.

Amy is a realtor with MKB REALTORS At The Lake and serves on the Smith Mountain Lake Home Tour Board. Contact her directly at 919.708.8423 or e-mail amy@ porchladyproperties.com. You can visit the Airbnb listing on AirBNB.com, and look up “Scenic Lake Getaway” in Penhook, VA.

TESTIMONIALS “ This was hands down one of the BEST AirBNBs we have ever stayed at, and we have stayed at quite a few. Amy and David were outstanding hosts who went above and beyond for us. Their space is so stylish (kudos to Amy for the decor), and it had beautiful views of the lake. They even let us rent their pontoon boat, which was a huge plus, since it was 4th of July weekend, and most marinas did not have any rentals. The whole experience was perfect, and exactly what we were looking for during our getaway weekend!” ~Megan and Jeffrey

“ We had a wonderful stay at Amy’s place! The bungalow is beautifully decorated with so many unique touches. The outdoor space was nice to relax in with a beautiful view of the lake and mountain.” ~Adrienne “ We booked on short notice for a quick weekend getaway and were not disappointed! We arrived late in the evening to find [the bungalow] lit with candles and ambient music playing. What a welcome! You can tell that Amy has put a lot of thought into this space; it’s clean and modern with a classic touch of style.” ~Ted

Blue Ridge Lake Living at Smith Mountain Lake, Va.

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Amy Smitherman | 919.708.8423 | PorchLadyProperties.com AUGUST 2020 / 19

Outside-The-Box Tastes:

Interesting and Unusual Ice Cream Flavors

Why

so vanilla? You may not be interested in trying booger-, vomit-, dirt-, earthworm-, or earwax-flavored ice cream, like the out-there flavors in Bertie Bott’s famous every-flavor jelly beans from Harry Potter, but there are definitely some interesting and unusual ice cream flavors you might want to try.

Some of those weird flavors might make you want to scream, just thinking of them in your ice cream, but at least you still have the waffle cone to enjoy, right? Or maybe you’ll just stick to the toppings.

But, yucky ones aside, if you’re the type that likes to adopt an open mind, think outside the box, and you love your ice cream, check out these fascinating flavors! Your mind might think they’re a little too wacko, but your taste buds might just fall in love.

It can be fun to be adventuresome. It doesn’t hurt to try new flavors of ice cream and this summer is the perfect time to give them a go. Who knows, you might like them after all. Just think—new fav flavors only a lick or two away!

A fan of Japanese food? There are lots of options for you. Try pickled mango, bitter melon, yuba, matcha green tea, buckwheat tea, squid ink, soy sauce, black sesame ginger, seaweed, purple sweet potato, red beans, and cucumber wasabi. There’s also kimchi and rice for Korean food lovers. Or maybe you prefer Indian food, in which case you may like curry, turmeric and mango lassi.

Tea or coffee lover? Try chai, green tea, Earl Grey, chamomile, jasmine, Vietnamese coffee, espresso, and mocha.

Prefer the taste of alcoholic beverages? You may not have to be 21 to try a spoonful of this sweet treat, though we’ll leave that up to the parents. Enjoy champagne, Guinness, bourbon, and amaretto. Think of your fav cocktails or mocktails and try those flavors in your homemade ice cream.

A fan of the spicy? Try sriracha, jalapeno, habañero, cayenne, ghost pepper, and chili.

Or maybe you’re the downhome kind of all-American when it comes to ice cream flavors, but prefer a spin on the usual. For you, there’s buttermilk, sweet corn, potato, honey, avocado, Creole, tomato, goat’s milk, sweet potato, maple walnut, peach cobbler, apple pie, and peanut butter and jelly.

Maybe flowers are more your thing. If so, give lavender, rose and rose geranium a try, or make your ice cream your own with edible flowers as garnishes. For herb lovers?

There’s basil, rosemary, cilantro, thyme, lemon balm, and mint. You can add some fresh herbs, too.

Going for gourmet? Some of these items may be on the menu for your hors d’oeuvres, lunch, or dinner, but they can also be your type of ice cream for dessert. There’s pear and blue cheese, balsamic fig, foie

BY SUSAN SCHABACKER

gras, asiago, bacon, lobster, lox, turkey, garlic, olive oil, and pizza. Imagine having pizza and pizza ice cream, back-to-back? A little weird? Not if you’re a fan of pizza!

Some kids’ favs (and kids-at-heart’s, too)…?

Have fun with dill pickle, trail mix, bubble gum, cotton candy, and cake batter (with lots of rainbow-colored sprinkles to top it off!).

This summer, or year-round…whatever the flavor, lick and savor!

Want to try to DIY but don’t have an ice cream maker? Enjoy this easy 3-ingredient recipe to make your own delicious ice cream and beat the heat with a sweet treat.

Hassle-free! You know what they suggest…

K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Sweetie!). Your imagination is the limit, and even if these unusual flavors are not in the freezer section at your local grocery store or at the quirkiest restaurant you can find, you can always try DIY and adapt the recipe below.

Super Simple 3-Ingredient Ice Cream INGREDIENTS: 2 cups heavy whipping cream 14 ounces sweetened condensed milk 1 teaspoon flavor extract of your choice INSTRUCTIONS: • Whip cream until stiff peaks form.

• Add other two ingredients.

• Put into a container and freeze.

•S poon and savor as is, or with all the fixings you desire, atop!

Recipe adapted from foodiecrush. com/how-to-make-easy-nochurn-ice-cream/

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WINSTON-SALEM 336-760-1491 • CLEMMONS 336-766-8244 • KING 336-983-4551 AUGUST 2020 / 21

Certus Psychiatry & Integrated Care…

What it means to we. believe in we

When Dr. Gisela Kohl and her husband of 27 years, Federico Lammel, opened Certus Psychiatry & Integrated Care in Winston-Salem in 2017, they knew they had their work cut out for themselves. But facing challenges head-on, rolling with the changes, and working hard was nothing new to them.

Originally from Argentina, the couple had worked in different careers prior to founding Certus.

Before becoming a board-certified psychiatrist, Dr. Kohl had earned a master’s degree in chemical engineering and worked for Coca-Cola and Monsanto. Federico worked in sales and management for a global satellite communications firm that took him all over the world.

In 2000, with a passion for studying the brain, Dr. Kohl decided to go to medical school – a challenge in and of itself, but things became even more interesting in 2001, when she gave birth to triplets Marcos, Anna, and Martina. “Fortunately, they were born in the summer, so I never missed one class,” Dr. Kohl says proudly.

She completed her residency at hospitals in Florida, and the family moved to Winston-Salem in 2009.

In 2013, the family “was blessed with a little girl” when Paloma was born. If managing busy careers and their growing family wasn’t enough, they faced a new challenge with Paloma’s Autism diagnosis, and they rolled with the changes together as a family.

Common reasons people come to Certus include treatment for ADD/ADHD, addictions, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, and depression.

For those who have battled depression and have met with mixed results, or have not recovered, Certus offers Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) as a potential cure.

“Having the triplets was a Godsend,” Dr. Kohl says. “We all learned together how to care for Pali, and we have grown stronger together in helping her learn and grow.”

TMS is an FDA-approved treatment that uses magnetic pulses aimed at specific targets in the brain that can help achieve remission of major depressive disorders.

As a psychiatrist, Dr. Kohl believed that her patients realized better outcomes when they were active participants in their own care. This may mean patients sharing in treatment decisions, when appropriate, and be willing to look at different factors that could be contributing to their mental health, such as trauma, nutrition, exercise, chemical abuse/dependency, and other factors.

“For people with treatment-resistant depression, we have seen tremendous results with this drug-free treatment,” Dr. Kohl says.

It was this idea of doctor/patient collaboration that gave rise to “believe in we,” the tagline used in Certus’ marketing materials.

“Certus is Latin for ‘determined,” Dr. Kohl says. “I want patients to know that when they come to our practice, that we are determined to help them find the right solutions for their particular diagnosis.

“There isn’t a one-size-fits-all cure for mental health issues, and we work with each patient to determine the best path of care for their diagnosis, and together, we will strive to find the right solutions.”

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Since Certus opened, Federico left his job to run Certus fulltime, and the practice now includes five medical care providers and five therapists. “It certainly has been a lot of work, but we enjoy working together, and it is incredibly rewarding to see a patient discover a better quality of life after treatment,” he says.

Today, the triplets live at home and are all rising sophomores at Wake Forest University, and Paloma is a rising second grader at Southwest Elementary in Clemmons.

Certus Psychiatry & Integrated Care is located at 1255 Creekshire Way in Winston-Salem (located between Brixx and Firebirds) off Hanes Mall Boulevard. To learn more about the practice, visit CertusPsychiatry.com, or call 336-701-3111 during office hours.

1003-Passion-Reading-FWHorzhalf-final.pdf

1

6/20/20

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336.727-3727

EyesOnTrade.com AUGUST 2020 / 23

7 Ways to Handle CRITICISM Better

BY MEGAN TAYLOR

Let’s

face it: we all get criticized. It could come in the form of negative feedback at your job or in the form of a comment from others.

No matter what, criticism isn’t pleasant and can be hard to take, especially if it is harsh. However, there are a few tips you can use to help lessen the negative feelings that come with criticism.

you and/or your loved ones, comments about things that are not your fault or outside of your control and delivered in an abusive, unpleasant manner. Once you differentiate the type of criticism you are being given, you’ll be better able to form an appropriate response. Keep in mind—you don’t need to respond to or put up with a personal attack. Maintain your limits. Sometimes walking away without saying a word is the best reply in these situations.

1.

6.

2.

7.

Think before you react. It can be instinctive to react before thinking; however, our reactions sometimes cause more harm than good. Try to stay calm when being given criticism by taking deep breaths. Calmness helps you resist the urge to “fight back” and allows you more time to digest the feedback and consider your next actions.

Another part of remaining calm is by listening to the feedback. Sometimes we will automatically become defensive when a person starts speaking.

Be respectful and let a person finish what they are saying, before you jump in and jump to conclusions. Then, respond.

It is important to be aware of whether or not you feel comfortable to respond at that time. There is no shame in asking for a moment or more, especially if the person who gave the criticism is close to you. All you need to do is tell them you need time to respond and will get back to them. If the person is a stranger you will not see again, don’t feel as if you need to respond or should take time. Just move on from that situation.

3.

Consider the areas for growth and/or positive takeaways from the comments. Hopefully, the intentions of the person are good and meant to help you learn something or better yourself, such as constructive comments coming from a friend, boss, or loved one. Not all criticism can be completely bad. For example, your boss may be informing you of what you can do better for the next time. It may be wise to take their suggestions into account, especially if you are working towards a promotion, etc.

4.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone is a learner and can make mistakes. Change your mindset to begin seeing criticism as a learning experience. Use what you are told and learn from it. Don’t be stubborn and refuse to listen to criticism. It might provide an opportunity to better yourself. Also, do something nice for yourself when you have received a negative feedback. Selfcare is very important to remember.

5.

Understand if the feedback is constructive or destructive, such as an attack towards you.

Unfortunately, criticism can be given with the sole intention of being hurtful.

Some ways to tell the difference between the two is if the criticism is overly negative, personally attacking

24 / FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

If appropriate, thank a person for their feedback.

Going back to a person’s point in giving the criticism, if their comments are helpful, thank them for giving you that piece of advice and for taking an interest in your success.

Don’t make an excuse for a mistake or reason for the feedback. If you know there is truth to the criticism and what the person is saying, listen, and own up to your actions. Also, prevent yourself from making excuses for improving from the observations. Take the time to listen and make a plan for how you’ll use the information to improve.

Criticism can be hard to take, no matter what. However, by using these tips, it can be easier to set boundaries when necessary and learn from constructive criticism when appropriate.

Accepting New Patients viad n TeleMed ait Office Vis s

Certus We’re Here For You.

Anxiety. Lack of focus. Depression. It’s all on the rise.

You don’t have to suffer alone.

The news on any given day is enough to have a negative effect on just about anyone. Add in how the pandemic has affected so many of us in so many ways, and it is easy to understand why anxiety, depression, and other behavioral health issues are increasing and having a significant impact on peoples’ lives.

At Certus, we were are here for you and everyone in your family who may need comprehensive psychiatric care and counseling.

We are seeing new patients in our office, as well as online via our safe and secure TeleMedicine software. Just call us to schedule an appointment, and let’s get to work in helping you feel better!

Follow us on Facebook to get free information about a variety of mental health topics.

We accept most insurance.

336-701-3111 1255 Creekshire Way, Suite 270 Winston-Salem, NC 27103 Located between Brixx & Firebirds

CertusPsychiatry.com

AUGUST 2020 / 25

Puberty and Conversations

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

“She’s

five and in kindergarten.

It’s too early to mention it.

I’ll wait until she’s a little older.” Before parents think their daughter doesn’t know about the very questions they fear, the words come tumbling out! Most likely, you have already addressed questions about the body, and why boys and girls are different. Take the teachable moment, and answer honestly. The body, in all its shapes and sizes, is a vessel of pride. Just by having the conversation, your child will come to you with questions and concerns.

The Changing Body An educated child is a safe child!

Pediatricians will tell young patients of three and four, “No one touches you in private places!” The conversation does not end in the doctor’s office; continue the rhetoric. As doctors will recommend, it’s vital as a general rule to use anatomically correct language, such as penis, vagina, and breasts.

• Explain scenarios and examples of inappropriate touching as well as what constitutes appropriate situations.

• Discuss the family rule of honesty, and that there are no secrets from Dad and Mom. Honor an agreement to be truthful to each other!

• Validate feelings. If a child describes butterflies or pain in the stomach, it’s important not to judge or dismiss the statement. In sharing, a child will openly inquire as they become older.

Provide non-fiction and fictional books to encourage conversations about the body. Librarians will gladly offer ageappropriate recommendations.

26 / FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

Pubescent Changes

Address the following topics:

From the hormones in various proteins, such as meats and milk, girls are likely to develop breast buds and start their menstrual cycle earlier than expected. By the age of seven, some girls may need a sports bra, while boys begin to use deodorant and experience voice changes, although usually a little later.

• Puberty lasts two to five years.

Every subtle change of development or observations occurring among classmates opens the door for conversations.

Statistically, some girls receive their first period by the age of 16; yet, others begin as early as 9. Ask your daughter’s pediatrician when to expect the arrival of a menstrual cycle. On the other hand, boys start puberty around the age of 10 with signs of development or the first ejaculation.

Some children may feel self-conscious, while others, not yet at the stage, will seek to wear a bra, for example, to have a sense of belonging. Whether your child is at the beginning, middle, or late-blooming, it’s normal to feel awkward.

Fifth Grade Sex Educational Classes Science will cover topics of mating through discussions about animals in fourth-grade; sex education itself is a fifth-grade class that separates boys and girls to learn primarily about menstruation and training bras or erections and changing voices.

Parents should receive the curriculum in advance to be well-prepared to discuss questions. Girls and boys may not understand why some of their classmates are well- or under-developed. Puberty arrives at different times for everyone, along with acne, mood changes, and growth spurts.

•A form of sexual development occurs through growth spurts. The range for girls is between 8 and 13, and 10 to 15 for boys.

•B oth sexes have hormones. They arrive for girls at 8 and 9 for boys. It stimulates pubic, underarm, and leg hair.

•F or girls, changes in the body emphasize the hips, legs, and development of breasts.

•A boy’s arms, hands, and feet will grow faster than the rest of his body. Body shape will develop broader shoulders, and through weight gain, muscles.

•B oys’ penis’s and testicles grow larger, voices deepen, while facial hair appears.

•A cne is common for children between the ages of 9 and 11.

•B oys sometimes have wet dreams, which means they ejaculate in their sleep.

•M onthly menstruations last three days to a week. The use of sanitary napkins helps to absorb blood.

•M enstruating occurs because the uterine lining fills with blood to prepare for a fertilized egg. Without fertilization, there is only a period. Fertilized eggs result in pregnancy.

Boys and girls have a lot of questions about their changing bodies. They will seek to know what is normal and why they are early or late bloomers. Puberty conversations lead to a wide range of topics, from feelings for, and attraction to, the opposite sex, and body odor to mood swings. Let daughters and sons know they can ask you anything, anytime, and you will provide answers!

We're Ready For What's Ahead

FCDS

We're excited to welcome students back to school on August 19. We plan to offer classes on campus every day following CDC guidelines. Our priority is a safe and engaging learning environment. If we need to go virtual, no problem. The valuable learning won't stop - no matter what.

Learn more at FCDS.org or call 336.945.3151 today!

Hip Chics

SCHOOL essentials

AT 336-766-8122 | HIPCHICSBOUTIQUE.COM 2668 LEWISVILLE CLEMMONS ROAD CLEMMONS, NC 27012

AUGUST 2020 / 27

swiping, adding that 58% of consumers who have used contactless payments in the past are more likely to use them now than ever before.

Hurdles do remain. A June survey from CompareCards by LendingTree found only 51% of consumers surveyed could correctly identify the wave-like symbol (pictured, top left in this article and resembling a WiFi logo turned on its side) on credit cards that signifies contactless payment capabilities, and that familiarity and usage varies by gender and generation.

Entertainment With all of this time at home, changes in entertainment consumption are taking place. A May survey from Vivendi Brand Marketing takes stock of these changes, and found that 89% of respondents discovered new forms of entertainment during the pandemic that they had not previously considered, including digital media and services.

Will Habits Shift in the Post COVID-19 World?

While it’s hard to say which habits created by the pandemic will stick, it’s clear that consumer attitudes around digital services have accelerated.

The importance of technology in helping Americans cope with crisis is shaping what will become our post-pandemic money habits.

These shifts are situated at the crux of many trends and are anticipated to have long-term impacts on consumer attitudes, from how we shop, to how we bank, to how we save.

Online Grocery Shopping No surprise here: use of online grocery delivery and pickup services has steadily increased. Both order frequency and household penetration are continuing to rise, according to the June 2020 Grocery Shopping Survey from Brick Meets Click/Mercatus. Online grocery sales grew more than 9% month-over-month to a record-setting $7.2 billion in June, compared to May’s $6.6 billion.

Overall, 71 percent tried out a new digital activity, 60 percent stated that they used more paid services than before and for one in five, it was even the first time they had paid for such services. Television programs, movies, and television series topped the list, while reading books rose 22 percent, with even higher percentages for families with children.

The survey indicated new practices look set to stay, with half of the respondents intending to change their former habits for good, and 23 percent saying they want to consume more digital content at home, especially families with children.

Emergency Savings

Truliant emergency savings to prepare for financial shocks. A new Bankrate

Those figures tower over the August 2019 total of $1.2 billion. The total number of customers who ordered groceries online for delivery or pickup reached 45.6 million in June, compared to 43 million in May, the study reported, adding that just a year earlier, the total was 16 million.

More retailers are following suit. In June, Target announced it would enhance pickup and drive up services to include fresh and frozen grocery items. More than 400 stores will have the service by the end of June and more than 1,500 will have it by the holidays. Target’s fresh grocery program is free, and doesn’t require a minimum order amount.

Contactless Payments While contactless payment through Apple, Google and Samsung pay have been offered for years, beyond Gen Z and Millennials, adoption has been slow. As consumers seek out ways to quickly get in and out of stores without touching terminals, demand for payments that reduce contact at the point of sale has amplified due to the pandemic.

Credit card issuer MasterCard said that it had seen more than 40 percent growth in contactless transactions globally in the first quarter of 2020.

Further, 80 percent of contactless transactions were for less than $25, a range typically dominated by cash.

American Express said in a May survey, many businesses are adopting contactless because it is faster than cash and more convenient than 28 / FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

One of the major lessons of the pandemic is the importance of creating survey released in June said Americans’ top financial regret was not having enough emergency savings to withstand the crisis.

Bankrate added that 28 percent of American adults have no emergency savings, and that while one in four have a rainy day fund, it is not enough money to cover three months’ worth of living expenses. The survey showed Americans biggest financial priority going forward is paying down debt (22 percent) and saving for emergencies (17 percent).

One way technology can help: automated saving helps eliminate temptation and gets consumers in the habit of saving money.

And how much is enough for an emergency fund? Experts typically cite three months, but financial fitness guru Suze Orman says that’s not enough.

She recommended in June on the Pivot podcast that an emergency fund should cover expenses for eight months, “so that at times like this, if you lose your job, you don’t have income, nothing’s coming in anymore, you can still pay your bills and you don’t have to freak out.”

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YMCA

Yes, we are still open!

Available Curbside and Delivery

Little Richards

Contact catering@littlerichardsbarbeque.com for your catering needs for ALL locations.

Clemmons 336-766-0401

Walkertown 336-754-4495

Mt. Airy 336-783-0227

Yadkinville 336-679-7064

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private dining options available

www.littlerichardsbarbeque.com AUGUST 2020 / 29

The summer has ended and the kids are now going back to school. What better time to give a fresh look to an outdated space. Peel and Stick wallpaper is the perfect solution for dorm rooms, accent walls, furniture rehabs and more.

Make any of our Cheeseball Mixes and spread them on crackers or toasts.

Top with fresh fruit, vegetables, and herbs for a tasty quick appetizer or snack!

30 / FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

PHOTO COURTESY OF YOR K

WALLCOVERINGS

Dero’s

Create instant accent walls and so much more with Peel and Stick Wallpaper now available at Dero’s.

Guaranteed to be removable and repositionable and will never leave a sticky residue. Peel and Stick is the easiest and fastest wallpaper you will ever hang or remove. Available in stock in many colors and patterns.

P P

For over 40 years, Dero’s remains the Triad’s largest Wallpaper, Fabric & Design showroom.

Dero’s • In-Stock Decorative Fabrics & Wallpaper • • Hunter Douglas Blinds & Shutters • • Decorative Home Accessories & Prints • • Custom Drapery Workroom on Site • • Gift Boutique •

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336 • 768 • 7962 www.derosinteriors.com PHOTO COURTESY OF YORK WALLCOVERINGS Photo Courtesy of York Wallcovering AUGUST 2020 / 31

Educational Preparedness for the Next Level: HIGH SCHOOL

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

The

door of educational possibilities opens wide once students transition to high school. It’s an exciting moment for teens to reach a milestone of greater independence and life-altering pathways. More than ever, teens need parental support to navigate changes and guide them in decisions that set the stage for life beyond high school.

Establishing Study Habits Middle school offers a stepping stone to organizational and time-management skills. Homework journals, for instance, provide a one-method system to maintain next-day, short-term, and long-term assignments. Not all methods work; however, finding practical tools and strategies ease stress and save time. By ninth grade, teens should: • Choose one format to record assignments, whether using a notebook, calendar, or phone. Confirm completion through a check-mark, and add tasks to finish short- and long-term assignments.

• Maintain a study schedule and determine the best location to study without distraction.

• Reflect on strengths and weaknesses and set attainable goals. Determine how to resolve procrastination.

• Use a variety of study strategies, such as writing in bold colors to emphasize words, rewriting notes, talking or reading aloud, using a tape recorder, learning SQ3R and Cornell Note-Taking methods, or listening to audiobooks.

the best moments to praise successes, while talking through mistakes and disappointments. Guidance isn’t necessarily advice. Through questions, parents can lead teens to look beyond blame, discover answers, and grow in remarkable ways.

Two essential conversations include: • Defining the expectations of friendship.

By having a high expectation, teens will not surrender to bad or declining relationships, and gain loyal relationships.

• Encourage the connection and value of every assignment, task, effort, or goal to your child’s life. The reputation of a strong work ethic begins with dependability and leads to leadership.

By talking openly and answering honestly, teens need to know they can come to their parents, regardless of the situation or time of day.

Address Good Health Roughly one out of six members of the world’s population is an adolescent, ranging in age from 10 to 19. In today’s world, preteens and teens need to be fully aware of the following topics: • Alcohol, tobacco, drugs, and other addictive substances.

• Physical activity, nutrition, and a healthy diet.

• Unprotected sex, STDs, and rape.

• Interpersonal violence

• Set a schedule, which includes breaks and days off. Determine how many extracurricular activities eliminate time with family, friends, and self. Preparing for high school requires smart decisions, and the word, “No,” on occasion.

• Healthy versus dysfunctional relationships

The Independent Teen By the age of 13, teens seek greater freedoms and the opportunity to make choices. Open conversations provide

As a stepping stone into high school, teens need to be fully aware of the dangers that can impact their mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Addressing difficult

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• Cyberbullying and Internet predators.

• Stress and sleep.

• Feeling positive.

topics will help when challenges surface.

As conversations blossom to other areas, teens can strive for balance well into adulthood.

Exposure to Extracurricular Activities Opportunities will arrive to learn a life skill or potential hobby. It is the one time in life where being a student allows time to invest in new passions. Encourage your child to learn a foreign language, take a class in creative writing, quilting, or learn to play an instrument! In almost every extra-curricular activity, group dynamics offer opportunities to solve problems and engage in various forms of public speaking or writing skills. Through experiences, rising ninth-graders will feel more comfortable contributing in large groups or upper-level classes.

Community Involvement The résumé of one’s adulthood begins well before the first job. Students obtain accomplishments through grades, athletics, extra-curricular activities, and acts of participation. Students may enjoy the interaction of a group, reaching goals, or helping to support a cause.

Volunteering within the community, and even state-wide, helps students discover how to create a positive impact on society.

Help your teen find a passion within the neighborhood, community, or school!

The freshman year represents more than just attending classes, taking tests, and interacting with friends. It’s one year to consider a pathway, whether it’s attending college or a trade school, joining the military or the workforce. Teens are by no means alone in their thought process. Guidance comes from teachers and instructors, grandparents and parents, older siblings, influential adults, and friends.

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Mentorship & Family at

BY DENISE HEIDEL PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARCO BASILE IMAGES

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“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” ~Proverbs 27:17 ESV

Many

business owners will agree that at some point, customers begin to feel like family. In Dr. Tina Merhoff’s world, her customers are patients, but certainly the sentiment holds true.

Since 1997, Tina S. Merhoff & Associates Pediatric Dentistry has carved a niche for itself in the community, building a stellar reputation for excellent dental care in a kid-friendly environment. However, a side-effect of the practice has proven that work life is a very personal matter.

“Family was always a priority for me,” said Dr. Tina. “When I was in dental school, I recognized that pediatric dentistry would offer me more flexibility, and indeed it has! I was able to bring both of my daughters to work when they were very young, which I wouldn’t have been able to do in another area of dentistry.”

“However,” Dr. Tina continued, “What I was not expecting was the familial relationships I would build with my patients and staff— relationships that would prove to have a significant impact on my business. Dr. Jennifer Macdonald is a prime example! She joined the practice in August 2019 as a pediatric dentist, but Jennifer’s tenure goes way back—she was a patient first. Then, she worked for me as a teenager before graduating and going to college and dental school.”

Dr. Jennifer laughed as she began to recount her earliest years with Tina S. Merhoff & Associates Pediatric Dentistry.

“I started working with Dr. Tina when I was 13, and my mom has been a dental hygienist with Dr. Tina since 2003. In a way, this was in my blood. I’ve never doubted that I would eventually become a dentist, but the mentorship along the way certainly made the journey much easier!”

“It’s incredible,” smiled Dr. Tina, “I’ve watched Dr. Jennifer grow up in many ways, and, truly, it’s been a family affair!

Dr. Jennifer not only worked her way up through the practice as a teenager, but she also babysat my daughters!

One of my daughters has expressed interest in dentistry, and though I’ve been a dentist her whole life, she now looks to Dr. Jennifer as her mentor! Whether my daughter pursues dentistry or not, Dr. Jennifer continues to be a great example to both of my daughters. It’s been a delight to watch! I’m so blessed to be able to love what I do, while at the same time helping to develop that same spark in someone else…and then, watch them pass the spark to someone else, too!”

The rapport between Drs. Tina and Jennifer is evident, but the role of mentorship is a tremendous part of the business—not necessarily by design, but because these are women who are passionate about what they do. As well as caring for the children and families they serve, they find mentorship lends itself naturally to the day-to-day operations of the business.

“There is a lot of encouragement here,” said Dr. Jennifer.

“I’m a living example of how an investment in a child can shape their future.” She smiled at Dr. Tina as she continued, “Dr. Tina has taught me so much, and I love that I get to work beside her. It’s a privilege to do for others what she did for me—teach them, guide them, and watch them grow.”

Dr. Tina agreed. “While not every patient expresses interest in dentistry, of course, we can still demonstrate care to them and encourage them—whatever their aspirations. When you spend eight hours a day with your team and patients, it’s important to create a kind of work-family. And family cares about one another—their interests and success. We hope our families know that our concern is far greater than [just] clean teeth and dental health. Yes, that’s what’s on our front door, but our core mission has always been caring for people. We want kids to feel safe here, and part of doing that is meeting them on their level. We even offer Happy Visits on Friday—where kids can come familiarize themselves with the smells, sounds, and environment of our office. We don’t charge for this time, but we do ask parents to make an appointment.”

“Even our staff gets excited about Happy Visits,” shared Dr. Jennifer. “Our dental hygienist, Denna (whom I know as Mom), loves to help kids overcome their fears of the dentist.

And since she raised a daughter who eventually became a dentist, I think she’s very good at what she does. Everyone on our team is! We have a dynamic team who loves the patients as much as we do! Work never feels like work here.”

“This is a very trust-oriented business,” chimed in Dr. Tina.

“That’s another aspect of the familycentric atmosphere we have here. We want everyone to feel heard, loved, and cared for when they are in our office, whether they are here as a patient or a part of the staff. We are here to invest in the people we serve, just as ‘iron sharpens iron.’”

Tina S. Merhoff & Associates Pediatric Dentistry is located at 185 Kimel Park Drive, Suite 202, in Winston-Salem. Call their office to schedule an appointment (336.659.9500) or visit Dentist4Kids.com. Be sure to like Tina S. Merhoff & Associates Pediatric Dentistry on Facebook and follow them on Instagram, and Twitter!

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“ LOVE everyone at this office! My son had extreme anxiety about the dentist. They have worked with him and done everything to keep him comfortable. Today he had the best experience he’s ever had!! He’s finally comfortable and calm enough to get through a cleaning and exam with no tears!

They never gave up on him and have always been so warm and kind. They are truly the best!!”

~Christina B.

“ I went to Dr. Merhoff when I was a young girl. I still remember how wonderful she and her staff were. The office’s environment is super child-friendly, making going to the dentist an enjoyable experience! If you are looking for a pediatric dentist—look no further!”

~Summer A.

“ We drive two hours to come here and it’s worth every second!

My daughter is treated with the respect she deserves and it means so much to me!”

It truly is a family environment at our office! Dr. Tina leads by example and her daughters, Maddie Bea & Abbie, are following in her footsteps! We’re so excited to show them the ropes as they help in our office over summer vacation!

-Amy H.

“ We love coming to this practice because they are so kind, caring, and loving. There is no fear in coming to the dentist and my kids look forward to their visits!”

- Jennifer H.

The staff at Tina S. Merhoff & Associates Pediatric Dentistry has made safety a priority, but has also worked hard to ensure that the environment remains kid-friendly and comfortable. If there are any questions about the additional safety measures taken to protect the patients, families, and staff from COVID-19, please feel free to contact the office at 336.659.9500.

We have had the honor to watch this beautiful family grow up in our practice! Dr. Tina and her family, as well as some of our staff, had the opportunity to visit them on the mission field in Peru!

Caring for family is what we do! What a pleasure for Dr. Jenn and her mom, Denna, to see Dr. Jenn’s nephew, Brody.

“ We didn’t get to choose our DNA, body type, birthday, time slot in history, or many of our cicumstances and challenges, but make no mistake, we do get to choose what kind of women we’re going to be” - Beth Moore

AUGUST 2020 / 37

Tips and Tidbits on Staying on Task with

“All

TIME MANAGEMENT

we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to us,” said Gandalf from The Fellowship of The Ring by J.R.R. Tolkein. So, how can you be more productive and make the most of your time? Try these tips and tidbits for time management that will help you live a more meaningful, productive life and make more progress over time.

Priorities Please First thing to do is to write down and work out how you want to spend your time. Have a clear vision and mission of what you want to accomplish and in what time frame, so you can keep track of everything. What goals and objectives do you want to achieve? Prioritize them wisely and decide what you want to tackle first. What is most important, as well as most urgent? What’s on your current radar, versus your do-it-later back burner?

Also, work on whittling down your list. Prioritizing is important and can reveal what you should focus on now, and what to move until later or even delete from your list.

Be discerning about what not to do. If it’s not important or urgent, maybe you can let it go, which means more time for you to work on priorities that take precedence.

Self-Study Once you have a clear road map of where you want to go, analyze where you are with how you use your time. We all have basic necessities like eating, drinking, bathing, and sleeping, but how else are you spending your time outside of your must-dos and work-related tasks? What about during the downtime you have during break time, a commute, or waiting at the doctor’s office?

Figure out exactly what you’re doing, where and when, and also why. What’s the reason—or is there one? It may be helpful to figure out the percentages of how you spend your time. You can divide this into categories like sleep, self-care, family/social, and work/business.

Realize that those seconds add up into minutes, which add up into hours, which comprise your day and night. Time is one of the most precious gifts we have in life, so don’t squander it. Often, we don’t realize how much extra time we can salvage to do things that are productive and meaningful and will get us farther and further in life. Spend less time twiddling your thumbs in boredom and more time maximizing the time you’ve been given.

Good Game Plan Sometimes it’s a trade-off and sometimes you have to sacrifice your time for the benefit of others, or to do things that have just come up, but you weren’t expecting. When life throws curve balls at you, you want to be ready to take a solid swing and bounce back

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BY SUSAN SCHABACKER with resiliency. Getting prepared with a game plan that allows you to avoid costly mistakes and pitfalls will keep you in the game.

Analyze and Assess Other factors to figure out include your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your habits, which may help or hinder you from making the most of your time. It may take some time to break old habits that are holding you back and form new ones that can boost your time management. Be patient with the process and gentle, but firm, with yourself. Be your own best friend and mentor. Always be honest and a realist when you assess how you ideally want to spend your time, how you are currently spending your time, and how you don’t want to be spending your time.

Money Matters – So Does Time Think of time management as a form of budgeting. You don’t want to spend all of your time or money. Be conservative and work on saving both. Be strategic and have a game plan, as well as back-up plan(s) to support your efforts.

You know you’re living your best life when you make the most of your time. Improve your life and help others. Make and track positive changes, set necessary boundaries, and achieve more. Take time seriously. Value it, learn to manage it, and you will be better off.

Honestly, it’s about time!

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Vitamin N: Kids and the Need for Nature!

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

Once

upon a time, kids and dirt and exploration went hand-in-hand. The image almost sounds like a familiar fairy tale. City and country children had one commonality; they both preferred spending time in the outdoors.

A place of freedom and friends, building relationships, and continually moving!

After hours of play, children returned home feeling happy, hungry, and ready to recount the day’s adventures. Interaction and discovery played into activities, from watching anthills to climbing trees, swinging in a tire to building sandcastles, and identifying the shapes of passing clouds. These fun activities were the necessary building blocks for a child’s brain, body, and character.

Nature-Deficit Disorder Children of yesterday felt punished by the restriction of being indoors; yet, ask a child of today, and they will often prefer to be home. Children understand when fears of the outside world limit their movement; the best alternative seems to be a connection to technology and accommodation to its outlets. On average, children spend up to seven hours daily and up to 57 hours weekly in front of a screen. The time outdoors is under 70 minutes a week.

Just a picture of a green environment can improve mental health. Since screen time is such a popular choice, children need a reason to enter the natural world and play, whether in a park, creek, woods, farm or in the yard. Sometimes, parents must force their children to go and be in nature.

Dr. Richard Louv, the American author of Last Child in the Woods, writes, “…Rough edges are the places children gravitate toward to explore, where they find rocks and weeds and bugs. Efforts to provide nice-looking and safe outdoor spaces are well-intentioned, but they give kids the message that nature is not something you go out in to get your hands dirty.”

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What are the benefits?

Aid discovery by introducing new activities:

1. Compared to the narrow scope of a screen, the senses widen in the natural world to include seeing, hearing, and touching.

•F or the video gamer, invest in a camera to view the world through a new lens.

2. Exploring nature enhances problemsolving skills and aids learning.

3. Experiences outdoors improve science scores.

4. Being in nature provides a period of rejuvenation to improve concentration, creativity, and mental energy.

5. Contact with nature reduces symptoms of ADHD, anxiety, and stress.

6. Exploring in nature helps foster conversations about science and responsibility.

7. Sunshine offers vitamin D. 8. Play outdoors fosters happier and calmer kids.

9. Nature improves mental health.

The Innate Scientist The world is an open-ended learning laboratory full of experiences to discover, create, and problem-solve. While in nature, children unknowingly ask questions to push their physical limits and explore emotional boundaries. Hypotheses build upon a basis for learning. Asked in wonder, questions begin with, “How far can I climb? “What would I see?” “What happens when I lift that rock?” “How many creatures could I find?” “What can I build with mud, sticks, and stones?” “What other materials would improve its structure?”

The environmentally conscious citizen arises when children have a relationship with nature!

•F ind walking and biking trails close to home. If children are reluctant to leave the house, create a family outing several times a week.

•S tart a box of unique finds, such as egg crates, bamboo poles, and an old lawnmower seat to encourage inventive play and building.

•M any beneficial bugs arrive on porches, flowers, or flutter past us. Give your child a magnifying glass to contemplate how insects protect themselves, work together, live, and eat!

•C reate an earthworm farm. The mind never stops asking thought-provoking questions. Provide books to expand the explanation of an insect’s purpose.

•S tart a garden, whether it’s flower or vegetable structured, or both!

•C amp in the backyard. Invest time without technology and enjoy cooking over a campfire and time together!

• Assign outdoor chores as training for environmental caretakers!

•G ive children time to play without supervision to create their own rules and solve problems without inhibition.

It’s never too late to invest in well-needed “vitamin N.” Open the doors to encourage children to use all forms of self-expression, such as jumping, running, climbing, and even shouting. Only in nature can the body relax, reduce tension, anxiety, and restlessness to feel good! Families can look for ways to create connections to the natural world within their yards, neighborhoods, communities, and beyond.

Make today a vitamin N day!

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AUGUST 2020 / 41

WHAT DOES PRESCHOOL LOOK LIKE IN A PANDEMIC?

Do

you wonder what school might look like when classes start back?

The teachers and staff at Family Services Head Start and Early Head Start are getting a glimpse of what the fall might look like, by finishing up our school year this summer.

The students and parents will notice that during the summer program, a lot of things look different — such as teachers wearing masks, frequent temperature checks, and parents being asked to remain outside while teachers escort children to class. But Head Start Center Director Shelby Moody said the most important things about the Head Start program will be the same — promoting school readiness by enhancing children’s cognitive, social, and emotional development while supporting and strengthening family relationships.

“We just want to make sure that when they transition to Kindergarten, that they’re ready,” Moody said.

Family Services Head Start has received grants totaling $543,982 through the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) Act to support Head Start services this summer to low-income children under the age of 5 in Forsyth County and to fund one-time actions or activities to prevent, prepare for, and respond to COVID-19.

The local funds were part of $750 million designated for Head Start programs across the nation to support preventative, preparedness, and response activities related to the coronavirus through the CARES Act. To support low-income children who have experienced a disruption of services during this time, programs will provide supplemental summer Head Start programs as they are able.

Family Services Head Start summer programs will provide a full range of comprehensive services to the extent possible, with a focus on preparing children for the coming school year, according to Family Services Child Development Division Director Vivien Stearns.

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Family Services President and CEO Bob Feikema said the CARES Act funding helped provide critical support to enrolled children and families. “During this crisis, we have been able to provide crisis response to our Head Start families, including meals, mental wellness support, and connection to community resources,” Feikema said. “We have also trained all of our staff in infectious disease management as we prepare to reopen our classrooms in the fall. The health and safety of each child in our care is our highest priority.”

Family Services

AUGUST 2020 / 43

Black Lives Matter to God

BY STUART EPPERSON, JR.

Do black lives matter? The Good Book says much more!

My heart is broken for all my black brothers and sisters. But, more importantly, so is the heart of God! Just for a moment, let’s lay aside all the politics that divide us and look at what the Good Book says about black lives.

Not only does my Bible say these dear folks “matter,” but it goes much further. The Bible says black lives are “fearfully and wonderfully made” in the image of almighty God. It says black lives are loved and cherished by God. Black lives are awesome!

The evil of racism is not only an evil against a group of people—it’s an outright assault on the image of God Himself! Translation... if you have a problem with black people—take it up with their creator!

I John 2:9 says it best—“Anyone who claims to be in the light, but hates his brother or sister, is still in darkness.”

This is a heart issue.

To all my white friends who may be angry and getting all political, please stop asking the question of Cain: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” It’s time to ask the question Jesus was asked: “Who is my neighbor?” This simple question was answered by the famous parable of the “Good Samaritan.” The hero in this powerful story sacrifices greatly by crossing racial, ethnic, and cultural barriers to save a dying man’s life. He models the very heart of unconditional love that Jesus taught and modeled. It was not merely a lesson in “racial tolerance” or ‘” let’s just get along.” This was about healing, action, and heart-level transformation! Jesus’s Jewish audience would have been revolted by the notion of an “unclean” foreignminority Samaritan caring for the Jewish victim. This would have been just as revolting as the Lord caring for the Samaritan woman at the well.

Cain was driven by jealousy, envy, and hate for his brother. Jesus is the author of love and service—even to the point of washing the disciples’ feet and dying for His enemies.

The Good Book teaches that His infinite sacrifice was for the sins of all tribes and nations. The true church—His body— should be the most integrated group of people on the face of the earth!

Yet, tragically, Sunday morning, 11 a.m. is the most segregated hour in America. Change happens when we truly recognize the beauty and dignity of the savior and the stamp of His divine image on our fellow human beings, and when we embrace our differences and lay aside our prejudices, and listen and sympathize with others.

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So, when the rallies stop and things settle down—how am I going to “go out of my way” to love my neighbor? How do I plan on mentoring a fatherless child—even once a week? How am I simply going to be kind? To listen?

How hard can it be to put your arm around your fellow black human being and look him or her in the eye and say: “You matter!“ How hard is it to buy lunch or coffee for someone of a different race? Go out of your way to show someone love, just like God went out of His way to show you love.

How hard is it to smile at someone different from you? Black lives don’t just matter, they are beautiful and a tremendous gift from God! They are objects of His love and precious in His sight. They are to be loved and esteemed.

Let’s end the cycle of oppression. Let’s end the pious platitudes and shallow quips. Let’s build meaningful relationships/ friendships. Let’s repent of our own prejudices and lack of concern for our neighbor.

Why isn’t it a good time to say, “All lives matter!?” Because my house is NOT on fire right now. My black friends are suffering. A large segment of our population is in a lot of pain!

The Bible also says to love and “bear one another’s burdens,” to “be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger,” to “weep with those who weep.”

One of my favorite songs puts it this way: “Do you feel their pain?

Has it touched your life? Can you taste the salt in the tears they cry? Will you love them more than the hate that’s been? Will you love them back to life again?”

So many Sunday school teachers have taught us for years “Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight—Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world.” Isn’t it time to live this out? According to the Good Book, anything short of this is sin!

Do I understand the pain of my fellow black Americans? No, I can’t even begin to imagine what they or their ancestors have suffered, but the Bible says God understands their pain....

It also compels us “not to be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.” This is already happening in our city, WinstonSalem. The name “Salem” means peace. We are one of the only large cities that had thousands participate in peaceful rallies, with no violence. In Raleigh, police officers washed the feet of black pastors. Black and white pastors are kneeling in prayer together and swapping pulpits.

For 40 years, I’ve been playing basketball all over the US and around the world with so many black teammates that have become family. I’ve learned that when my black brothers are hurting—I’m hurting. They don’t need a bunch of sermons right now, or statistics about their community. They need friends. They need family. They need to know they are valued.

In 1988, our Winston Lake YMCA, AAU basketball team, brought home the state championship trophy. It was a huge victory! To this day, Coach Bill McClain is still one of my mentors. He was a key leader/coach of some of the first championship WinstonSalem, AAU programs, and many since. I asked Coach about the success of those teams and he said, “The power of those great teams was not based on the coaching or the individual players, but because of their ability to play as a team.” He went on to challenge me in the same way about our broader community.

“Those that are called by His name have an obligation to work as a team for the greater good.”

Crossnore I wanted to PROTECT my heart.

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“Team Winston,” the time is now to love our neighbor as ourselves. It’s time to extol the beauty of God’s image in each other. It’s time to let this unity in diversity flourish in our city and land. Go out of your way TODAY, and don’t just tell your black neighbor they “matter,” tell them God loves them. Tell them you love them. Tell them they’re AWESOME. Then, show them they’re awesome!

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God doesn’t make mistakes. Consult the Good Book. See the good in others, and act now—be the change!

A Winston-Salem native, Stu Epperson Jr. is the author of First Words of Jesus, and a radio host at 103.5FM/97.7 FM. He was one of three white players on the State Championship AAU team in 1988.

AUGUST 2020 / 45 ForsythFamily-3.676x10-FosterFamilies-Apr2020.indd 1

3/10/2020 9:08:36 AM

Is God Who We Think He Is?

BY DENISE HEIDEL

I

have a sweater in my closet that if my mother could get her hands on it, she would rip it to shreds. I love this sweater, though. It’s my favorite, and I’ve had it for 27 years. Admittedly, it has a few rips and tears in it at this point, but I don’t wear it in public very often. But the fact that I wear it at all causes my mother untold aggravation.

She sees all the flaws. I see the sweater that she bought me when she took me to New York City for my 18th birthday.

She sees the holes. I see the almost three decades of comfort and dependability this sweater has provided.

She sees the sweater as ugly. I see the sweater as beautiful in its own unique way.

I take a lot of heat over this sweater, and have even started posting pictures of it on Facebook just to irritate my mom; my friends have risen to the challenge, and whenever a photo comes up, they join in the fun.

Just as some look at my sweater with disdain and point out all its flaws, we sometimes see people the same way. We see their rips, tears, and damage and think they are beyond saving. We assume there is no hope for them, and we give up. We don’t want to invest our time in what we

Read more at MyGraceFullLife.com.

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consider to be a lost cause. Maybe we even think these things about ourselves.

Thankfully, we have Jesus who looks beyond the damage, hurt, bad choices, and past to see our hearts. To see how He can redeem us. How He can patch up the damaged holes of our past and make us new again. Let’s look at 2 Corinthians 5:17, which says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

It’s a promise that gives us hope. God can do new things, even bring forth a river in the desert (Isaiah 43:19)! He can bring beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3)! He can make all things beautiful (Ecclesiastes 3:11)! He can make all things good (Romans 8:28)! He can look into the heart of a dying, repentant thief and offer forgiveness (Luke 23:39-43).

If Jesus can do all that, how can we ever write someone off as hopeless? How can we ever think we ourselves are beyond His mercies?

When you feel torn, broken, stained, beyond repair…. Look to Jesus. He can do anything. Even take the hardest heart and write faith on it. Never stop hoping, believing, and praying. No one is beyond His ability to restore and redeem.

WBFJ

AUGUST 2020 / 47

Travels with The

big sad eyes and tilted head send a gut-wrenching feeling to a dog owner. The decision weighs heavily on families whether one of the most significant members of the family should stay home in the care of familiar comforts, board at a kennel, or join his human pack.

Not every situation lends itself to summer travels with Charlie; yet, meticulous planning can ensure everyone is doggone happy!

Contact the Vet Do you have up-to-date and certified vaccination records in your care? Schedule an appointment to verify the health of your four-legged friend, especially if he’s older.

TIP: Before leaving, update your contacts to include a 24-hour emergency veterinary hospital.

Update ID Tags As much as you rub ears and touch your dog’s body, the last thing you notice is the condition of the ID tag. If missing or scratched, order a new one, including the dog’s nickname, the phrase, “Call Jean [the owner],” a cell number, and a critical description, such as “skittish” or “anxious,” or “loves kids.” The information presented on the ID can help reconnect you quickly!

TIP: Check Charlie’s collar to ensure it is durable and unlikely to break. If threadbare, replace it!

Diversify Potty Events Through training and opportunity, you can encourage a four-legged friend to relieve himself on multiple surfaces, and

48 / FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

Charlie!

not just grass! Take note of Charlie’s stress levels when visiting friends or walking down a street. Common signs of anxiety may affect a dog’s ability to eat, drink, and urinate frequently. Great planning and calming techniques can eliminate potential problems.

Accommodations, Call Ahead Not every hotel appreciates a dog and owner striding through the main lobby.

Surprisingly, the restriction of pets also applies to campgrounds. Before you hit the road, take the time to secure a petfriendly reservation. Ask detailed questions regarding the pet policy, to ensure the establishment accepts a medium-sized or large breed. Request the availability of a ground-level room to encourage safety, rather than trudging up or down stairs at odd hours.

TIP: Aunt Helen may be less than thrilled if she sees you neglected to inform her of the additional guest. Whether you lodge overnight or visit family or friends, be sure to ask if Charlie would also be a welcomed guest.

Turn Up the Air Conditioning The dog days of summer can become deathly hot for your small polar bear, namely the drooling Great Pyrenes not far from your side. Shaving Charlie in advance will help ease the thick coat; however, the next worry is the inside of a vehicle.

How many pet owners said, “I’ll only be a minute,” and left their pooch contained in the hot, metal box? Statistics prove leaving the windows open has little effect on the interior. Consider this computation: factor

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

in the outside temperature, and add 19 degrees per 10 minutes the car is without air conditioning. Therefore, an 85-degree outside temperature can reach 104 degrees in a car in a matter of minutes. If driving with Charlie, consider leaving early in the morning or late in the evening to prevent his distress or dehydration levels.

TIP: D ogs who suffer from excess panting on stifling days may enjoy an “icy comfort bed,” which requires no electric cord, only cold water. Rather than sitting inches from the vent, lying on a cold, vinyl raft may ease travel from here to there and back again!

Packing the Doggy Bag Keep the list simple! Say yes to Charlie’s favorite, tattered blanket and purple elephant toy! Toss in a few new toys to ease boredom! Make sure new tools, such as collapsible bowls or harnesses are familiar and used often!

•S implify feedings by packing each portion in a sealable bag.

•B ring the harness and twenty-foot lead for multiple types of walks.

• Pack poop bags in an accessible location.

•F or quick access of water, take a pre-filled gallon jug. Keep available the no-splash dog bowl to ensure Charlie remains hydrated throughout the trip!

Beyond the decision to take Charlie on the family trip, the next big decision will be the seating arrangement! Delegating the dog’s comfort seat will ensure travels with Charlie go smoothly! Good luck!

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Let’s look at the facts: college is a money guzzler and school is going to be different this year, but expenses may still add up. Whether college will be online or manage to operate with physical classes, it will forever be important to know how to save money in college. Below are several creative ways to save money in college and generate income so you can graduate a boss while still having funds in your bank account!

Thrift store shopping. Underrated and passed over consistently, thrift store shops have always been an affordable way to dress well and furnish your dorm room without making your wallet weep. Thrift stores aren’t all dusty and outdated; many pop-up thrift stores are modern and clean. Look for thrift stores in your community and survey their inventory. You may be surprised at what you find in there. Of course, not everyone believes in buying secondhand items. But there are always more ways to save your “coins”!

Have a part-time job? Whether you are still in high school or already in college, try looking for part-time work if you can! Many retailers are willing to work with your school schedule and are filled with young workers who are generating income to help pay for college expenses. BONUS TIP: with each paycheck, determine a certain amount to put towards your savings each time.

For instance, you may decide to put $40 in your savings every time you get paid. Watch how quickly that can add up if you don’t touch it!

Discount stores! Many of us underestimate the saving power (and sometimes quality) of discount stores!

Stores such as 5 Below, Dollar Tree, Roses, and Ross have a plethora of items that are suitable for college living. Never be too prideful to shop at a discount store!

Sign up for rewards programs. Rewards programs are saving monsters! If you haven’t already, see if your favorite grocery stores or clothing stores have any rewards or membership programs (I don’t recommend applying for store credit cards). Sign up and start saving! The more you shop and scan your rewards card at checkout, the more rewards points you get. These come in handy during college shopping.

How are you livin’? Will you be living in a dorm on campus, or at home with your family? If you’re going to a college in your hometown, you can save up to thousands of dollars on housing by staying at home.

50 / FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

Be wise about textbooks. Textbooks can seriously heighten up your college tuition, especially if you have several classes at once.

Some teachers require their students to have textbooks in class as per participation grades. If textbooks are required, opt for used textbooks, which can be over a hundred dollars cheaper than a new book. But if you’re able to skip textbooks completely, the library is your greatest resource! They have books and additional readings that correspond to, and complement, your course material.

Leave your car at home. You will save hundreds of dollars on gas when you decide to take the bus, campus shuttle (or trolley), walk, or invest in a bike to get around campus and town.

Rethink meal plans. Meal plans help college students enjoy the luxury of campus food courts and cafeterias without paying that money out of pocket. If you don’t have a meal plan, you will have to pay your own money for the food, and that is expensive! In such a case, it’s helpful to have a part-time job or a side hustle.

Indulge in entertainment, events, and leisure by passing up on luxury subscriptions such as Netflix, Apple Music, and Hulu.

Those monthly prices can accumulate! College gyms offer free memberships, and look for free campus events (or at least low-priced ones).

If you use credit cards, try to save them for emergencies only. If not, pay what you can pay back when the bill comes out at the end of every month.

Build good credit now!

Pursue distance learning! Online classes are much more affordable (and flexible) than physical classes.

Use a piggy bank, that’s right, a real one! Save up your coins and cash them in after six months to a year (or when you need emergency money). You’ll be amazed at how quickly it adds up!

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Traveling and Tutoring So,

this month’s article is going to be about two entirely different things, but with the way the year has gone so far, one or both may be explicable.

Traveling and tutoring—depending on how your summer has gone so far, you may have an interest in this column, or neither may apply to your current situation.

My daughter gave me the idea on traveling, as we have discussed family travel plans when we are able to “move around the country” as the commercial used to say. The other came about from all the homeschooling that took place during the last three months of the school year, and may continue this fall.

I enjoy planning trips. My husband, before the pandemic hit, frequently asked me where we were going next, or told me someplace he would like to visit for a short break. I then get busy researching several different travel sites until I find the place and price I like. Depending on where our destination is, I look for round-trip airfare, a highly rated hotel in a wellsituated locale that includes breakfast, and a rental car. I also look at what is offered as extras for an additional cost, to see if these are things we would be interested in taking part in for the price. We are not fans of tours, as we like to be able to go and do as we please. It is fun to see what I can do with a budget I set. I love when I find deals that come in much lower than I thought possible.

Our eldest daughter has found a travel agent that she swears by and, I admit, has planned excellent vacations for her family. Since they are taking their children, who have varied interests and have six years between the oldest and youngest, I am amazed at the incredible, not only fun, but learning experiences she finds that they all enjoy. Either way you prefer planning a trip, it gives you something to look forward to during this unfortunate time.

With very little to keep some of us occupied during this time, it is fun to find places to travel when it is finally safe once more to be on the go. Right now, it is just research and future possibilities, but I can dream! A Disney World trip planned for October has been canceled and our bi-annual family trip for January has been postponed until Autumn 2021.

Bummer, but surely this too shall pass, and I will look forward to planning our next escapade.

52 / FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

Now, about tutoring. If you are a grandparent that is helping with your grands’ schooling and are a little concerned with their reading skills, I have some suggestions. As my children were basically grown, I wanted to find a volunteer opportunity, and a friend pointed me to the Augustine Literary Project, which is now called, “Read WS. Read, Write, Spell,” trains tutors using Wilson materials. After several hours of intensive classes, volunteers go into one of several different schools where they are assigned to work one-on-one with a child who is struggling with their reading, writing, and spelling skills. Not only is it incredibly rewarding to see a child blossom from a non-reader to one who is so proud to be able to read, it is also an incredible experience that gives back more than you can imagine. You can find more information on-line at readws.org.

If the training class isn’t an option for you, there are other tools to help improve your grands reading, writing, and spelling skills. When my girls were very young, each summer I would buy several workbooks to help them learn a new skill or review what they had been taught throughout the school year. No matter what the subject, you can purchase books through online sources or a number of local retail stores. I recently found excellent ones at Costco for my daughter to use with her children. They enjoy doing a few pages every day. My daughter likes it that they have something to do that keeps them entertained while they learn, but also that their eyes aren’t locked in on a screen.

Hopefully, schools will be back open this fall, the virus will have abated, and life will return to some semblance of normalcy. Whatever this month brings, I hope it finds you and your loved ones in good health and humor and looking forward to what the future holds. May August be the start of good news that we all need!

JEJ

AUGUST 2020 / 53

Educator Warehouse

Teachers Need Help Now More Than Ever

BY MEGHAN E.W. CORBETT

No matter what school looks like for your child this year, one thing is guaranteed: school supplies will be needed for students as well as teachers. When teachers are in the classroom, we all know how many materials they go through…and how often they are required to buy their own, as opposed to having necessary learning tools supplied. When teachers must work remotely and utilize online tools like YouTube and Zoom, they still need to print worksheets, create visual aids, assemble activities for crafts, and drop off buckets and packets of homework.

For years, this is where Educator Warehouse has come into play to save the day! “Even though our students may be learning differently at the kitchen table, dining room table, bedroom, Mom‘s office, etc., Educator Warehouse is still supplying school supplies for our teachers,” said Educator Warehouse Director Karel Chandler. “These are definitely different times, and we are trying to adjust.

We will have private shopping and limited groups, so our numbers will be much lower as to how many people we can have in the warehouse at the same time.”

Educator Warehouse helps all teachers employed in the WS/FCS system who have registered to shop through the WSFCS website (wsfcs.k12.nc.us/Page/45920). Each quarter, teachers are allowed to shop for classroom supplies using points they have been given, as opposed to their hard-earned dollars. With some teachers spending in excess of $500 of their own money on school supplies for their classrooms, Educator Warehouse strives to close this gap to allow teachers to avoid spending their personal money on paper and pencils.

54 / FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

MOST NEEDED CORE ITEMS FOR CLASSROOMS: • Pencils • Pens • Colored Pencils • Mechanical Pencils • Crayons • Notebook Paper • Scissors (large and small) • Rulers • Sharpies, Highlighters, Markers • Glue Sticks, Glue Bottles • Kleenex • Hand Sanitizer

TOP 12 OFFICE ESSENTIALS: • Binder Clips • Paper Clips • Rubber Bands • Staplers, Staples, Staple Removers • Scotch Tape Dispensers, Scotch Tape • 1, 2 and 3-Hole Punch • Post-It Notes • Desk Organizers • Handheld Calculators • Jump Drives, CD Disks • Sheet Protectors • Bookends • Pencil Sharpeners

“Anyone interested in taking advantage of this incredible resource needs to make sure to register! Please make sure to go online and sign up for a time to shop if you are a teacher in Forsyth County,” said Chandler. “We are still taking in lots of donations, and if your company is having a school supply drive, that’s great!

If you have decided that you do not want to shop, we are certainly taking monetary donations, and we can do the shopping for our teachers with your money. You can also go to Amazon and have it shipped to us directly at Diggs Latham Elementary, located at 396 Hutton Street, Winston-Salem, NC 27101. I look forward to having lots of school supplies coming in this year, and we thank you!”

For more information, including how you can help through volunteering, contact Karel Chandler at kchandler3@msn.com or 336.817.1673. You can also contact Kendra at the Educator Warehouse by calling 336.671.1078 for more information about donations or volunteering. The Educator Warehouse is located at 986 Hutton Street in Winston-Salem. Hours of operation are 3:305:30 pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays and 9-11 am on the first and third Saturdays of each month. To learn more about the warehouse, visit the website at forsythedpartnership.org.

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Bring your school supply donations for the Educator Warehouse and enter for a chance to win a $25 or $50 gift card to a local restaurant, boutique or salon!

Drive Thru with your donations on Thursday, August 6th from 5:30-7:30pm in the Piedmont Federal Savings Bank parking lot 201 S Stratford Road, Winston-Salem

For more info and details, visit our Forsyth Magazines facebook or instagram!

@forsythmags

AUGUST 2020 / 55

Kid-Approved Smoothie Recipes

BY TMOM TEAM MEMBER ANNA KELLER

S

moothies are constantly in the rotation at our house. They can be a breakfast on their own, a quick midday snack, or even a secretly healthy, but delicious treat.

They’re easy to blend quickly and enjoy at home or take on the go. (During quarantine, my 3-year-old daughter and I have loved having front-step smoothie days from time to time.)

Before we get into a few recipes, let’s talk equipment.

It definitely does make a difference if you have a good blender for smoothies.

It will make the experience much faster, easier, and less frustrating for you. But not to worry—you don’t have to invest in a Vitamix just yet (although we have one and they DO live up to the hype). Another great alternative is the Ninja blender, at a much more affordable price point. We used a Ninja for years before upgrading to a Vitamix, and it worked so well for us and blended many a smoothie!

One quick tip when it comes to smoothie making: You’ll see that all these recipes include at least one frozen fruit component.

That’s because frozen fruit helps you get that perfect, creamy texture you’re going for in a smoothie. We buy some frozen fruit—like cherries—at Costco, but for frozen bananas we just peel them and pop them into a gallon bag and freeze them that way.

(Peeling them before freezing them is key!)

Then you can just throw a frozen banana into your smoothie and get to blending!

Okay, now that you’ve got everything you need equipment-wise, let’s move on to recipes! These are four that are always a hit at our house: PROTEIN PICK-ME-UP INGREDIENTS: • The protein power of your choice (we love Ora Organic’s chocolate protein powder)

• The milk of your choice (we like dairy-free options like almond milk or coconut milk) • 1 Frozen banana • 1-2 Handfuls of organic spinach

• About a cup of frozen mango

DIRECTIONS: Add all ingredients to the blender and mix for a delicious, protein-filled smoothie.

(Note: Play with the milk amount a bit to find what’s best for you. I don’t measure it, but rather splash some into the blender, blend, and add a bit more if I need to. Start small and you can always incorporate more if needed to achieve the perfect consistency.)

• 2 Tablespoons of hemp hearts

CHERRY CHOCOLATE TREAT Is there anything better than cherries and chocolate combined? This smoothie is so delicious and tastes like dessert, but it’s full of good-for-you stuff.

INGREDIENTS: • Handful of frozen cherries • 1 Tablespoon or so of cacao nibs • The milk of your choice (we like dairy-free options like almond milk or coconut milk) • About half a cup of ice DIRECTIONS: Add all ingredients to the blender and mix for a delicious, protein-filled smoothie.

(Note: Play with the milk amount a bit to find what’s best for you. I don’t measure it, but rather splash some into the blender, blend, and add a bit more if I need to. Start small and you can always incorporate more if needed to achieve the perfect consistency.)

IT’S GREEN, BUT DOESN’T TASTE LIKE IT Yes, there’s spinach in this smoothie, but neither your kids nor you will notice. The hemp hearts help add a bit of protein to this smoothie, too!

INGREDIENTS: • 1 Frozen banana

• 1-2 Handfuls of organic spinach

• The milk of your choice (we like dairy-free options like almond milk or coconut milk) DIRECTIONS:

Add all ingredients to the blender and mix for a delicious, protein-filled smoothie.

(Note: Play with the milk amount a bit to find what’s best for you. I don’t measure it, but rather splash some into the blender, blend, and add a bit more if I need to. Start small and you can always incorporate more if needed to achieve the perfect consistency.)

CREAMY DELIGHT

This recipe incorporates yogurt, making it extra creamy and amazing—and with a protein boost. Plus, the oatmeal will keep you feeling full.

INGREDIENTS:

• About ¾ cup of the plain yogurt of your choice • About 2 Tablespoons oats

• Frozen berries (blueberries or strawberries, perhaps, or a mixedberry blend) • A splash of filtered water • A drizzle of honey DIRECTIONS:

Add all ingredients to the blender and mix for a delicious, protein-filled smoothie.

(Note: Play with the water amount a bit to find what’s best for you. I don’t measure it, but rather splash some into the blender, blend, and add a bit more if I need to. Start small and you can always incorporate more if needed to achieve the perfect consistency.)

For more recipes and fun food ideas for families visit TriadMomsonMain.com!

For more articles like this, log on to www.TriadMomsOnMain.com 56 / FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

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AUGUST 2020 / 57

! s k c a n S e m i Fun Summert St. Patrick’s Day Treats

BY KRISTI JOHNSON MARION & EMILY DODSON

BY KRISTI J. MARION

Summer is here and it’s time to enjoy the great outdoors. The kids will love nibbling on these fun portable treats while in the backyard, by the pool, or on a picnic!

DISNEY COPYCAT CORNDOGS

MASON JAR PIES

INGREDIENTS & SUPPLIES: ¾ cup Yellow cornmeal

INGREDIENTS & SUPPLIES: 4 refrigerated piecrusts 12 (4-oz.) small mason jars 1 can cherry pie filling 2½ cups fresh blueberries 1/8 cup sugar ¼ tsp. cinnamon ½ tsp. cornstarch

¾ cup All-purpose flour 1 Tbsp. Sugar ¼ tsp. Salt 1½ tsp. Baking powder 1 Egg, lightly beaten 2 Tbsp. Honey ¾ cup Buttermilk

DIRECTIONS:

2 quarts + 2 tsp. Vegetable oil

DIRECTIONS:

1. P reheat the oven to 400°. Slice two of the piecrusts into quarters.

Press a quarter of crust into each of the jars for the bottom crust, making sure the crust is the same thickness throughout. Trim excess crust to use in the other jars.

1. In a large Dutch oven or pot, heat 2 quarts of the vegetable oil to 350°.

2. F ill half of the jars with cherry pie filling.

12 Hot dogs 12 Wooden skewers Ketchup or mustard for serving

2. In a large bowl, whisk together the cornmeal, flour, sugar, salt and baking powder. Add the egg/ honey buttermilk and 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil and stir until combined. Let sit 10 minutes.

3. Pat the hot dogs dry and insert a skewer into each. Pour the batter into a tall drinking glass and dip and cook one skewered dog at a time, being sure the batter also coats just a little of the skewer. If the batter is too thick, add a splash of buttermilk. When the batter gets low, tilt the glass to help cover the hot dog.

4. Place into the hot oil to fry. Cook each for about 3 minutes, turning with tongs to be sure they brown evenly. Transfer to a paper towellined plate.

NOTES: • This recipe can be easily doubled.

• These freeze easily after cooling by transferring to a ziplock bag.

• To reheat, bake at 400° for 15 minutes.

58 / FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

FIRECRACKER POPCORN INGREDIENTS: 1 bag microwave popcorn 1 cup white candy melts or white chocolate chips 1 package Strawberry or blue Pop Rocks candy Blue or red sprinkles.

DIRECTIONS: 1. P op the popcorn according to package directions. Spread onto a cookie sheet to cool.

2. M elt the candy melts or chips in the microwave, stopping to stir every 20 seconds until melted. Drizzle onto the popcorn.

3. W hile the white candy melt mixture is still “wet,” sprinkle on the Pop Rocks and sprinkles.

3. I n a large bowl, gently combine the blueberries, sugar, cinnamon and cornstarch until the berries are coated. Fill the top half of the jars.

NOTES: • Don’t overfill the jars or the filling will overflow on baking.

• Don’t under-fill them or the pie will deflate.

4. T op the jars with the remaining piecrust in stripes or basket-weave or use small cutters to cut out stars or circle designs.

5. P lace the jars on a cookie sheet and bake uncovered for 10 minutes until top crust begins to brown. Remove from oven and cover top with foil and return them to the oven to bake an additional 30 minutes, or until the filling is bubbly and hot.

“ I do not want art for a few any more than education for a few, or freedom for a few.” ~William Morris

1

Alexis Widener

3

Kinsley Harris

2

Audrey Nelson

4

Brandon Harris

10th Grade Atkins High School Janet Blakely, Art Teacher

11th Grade Reynolds High School Phil Benenati, Art Teacher

3rd Grade Sherwood Forest Elementary Stephanie Parsons, Art Teacher

8th Grade Northwest Middle School Natasha Young, Art Teacher AUGUST 2020 / 59

The View from My Section – A Father’s Perspective

Advice for the Class of 2020

BY A. KEITH TILLEY

This column was originally written around the beginning of the Covid-19 response in the spring for our May issue; however, due to the impact of the changes, we were unable to run it at that time. However, we felt the message, although intended for the Class of 2020, who still deserve to hear it, also resonates with the incoming Class of 2021, as they embark on their most unique senior year. Enjoy!

The

Class of 2020 holds a special place in my heart, as it’s also my youngest son’s graduation year as well. A lot of advice this time of year relates to achieving future goals, dreams, and more for these well-deserving graduates. I’d like to offer my humble advice in a different area. I want to impart my experience with regard to handling the trials, struggles, obstacles, and speed bumps that are placed in your path along the way. There will be plenty, but you’ll make it through them. Not without some bumps and bruises, threats to your ego and self-esteem, and even your confidence from time to time. But that’s the way life is. It gives you the lows, so you appreciate the highs, and the highs to show you how life’s truly worth living.

There have been times in my own life when I felt like I was on the monkey bars, fingers clinched, hanging on for dear life, because I was too afraid to let go. I didn’t understand at the time that letting go would cause me to fall for sure, but that I would recover from the shortfall and ultimately feel much better as a result.

There’ll be times when you are in a job, or situation, that you feel compelled to hang on to, but then eventually realize that life has better plans for you if you’ll just let go of what you know and have faith in what can be.

You’ll have moments when you doubt yourself and your abilities. Others will attempt to climb over you to reach their objectives. In doing so, they may reinforce those doubts and make you lose sight of what you bring to the table.

Your ideas will be challenged, your insecure thoughts provoked. As a young person with little life experience, it’ll be easy to fall prey to these aggressive tactics. I implore you not to let that happen and rise above it. When they doubt your ideas, abilities, and perhaps even your value at times, you’ll need to look inside yourself and see your qualities in all the richness they offer. Know that a time will come when they are recognized. Believe it. There’s a line from the Netflix movie The First about the first manned space mission to Mars that says, “People say, I’ll believe it when I see it. But they have it backward, belief comes first, then you see it.” There’s lots of truth in that statement. You have to truly believe in yourself, not just for now, but throughout

your lifetime. Keeping that belief strong will give you the resilience and courage you need to see the rewards only your gifts can bring.

Next, what I feel is one of life’s delicate little secrets— opportunity. I’m not talking about “chances” here. “Chances” are those moments life gives you that involve risk, and a reward that may or may not be worth the risk. You’ll get multiple chances in life, but unique opportunities are different because you only get them once. They usually come at the most inconvenient times, when you’re not expecting or perhaps even ready for them.

Nonetheless, you have but one shot at taking advantage of them. Never fear, you’ll most certainly let some pass you by. You won’t always recognize them for what they are at first. Other times, you’ll know as soon as they pass what you missed out on, and you’ll regret your blunder. As the line from the movie The Accountant states, “I spent my whole life only recognizing my lucky breaks after they were gone.”

All is not lost, however, because just as life only gives you a unique opportunity once, it is kind enough to offer another unique opportunity next time to consider. Life doesn’t set out to make you fail; it’s trying to help you. You just have to rise up and take notice. Tracy McMillan, in her Ted Talk, said it best, “Life doesn’t give you what you ask for. It gives you the people, places, and situations that allow you to develop what you asked for.” So, if you pay attention to the signs, being the people and events unfolding before you, the opportunities will become more visible and clear.

Finally, let me leave you with one last piece of very humble advice. Go forward in your life having fun with it. And know not to look for happiness in money, or a job or career, or, most importantly, a life partner. If you go purposefully looking for happiness specifically in those places, you won’t find it. Instead, discover the joy that lives inside you and share it, and let those other things be complementary to your joy. There, you’ll find the happiness you’re looking for.

Congratulations to the graduates of the Class of 2020, and may your glass always be half-full.

To comment, visit theviewfrommysection.com.

60 / FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

S&K cleaning

Quarter V

tried the rest, now try the best!

After being home for weeks, you may be ready for someone to handle the deep cleaning!

S&K

What are you waiting for?

Clemmons Bike Keith Willard, owner 24 Years Experience

336.244.6519 Servicing the Forsyth, Davie and Yadkinville area.

1 YEAR FREE SERVICES WITH BICYCLE PURCHASE.

Serving Forsyth County Families for Over 40 Years TRI • Road • Mountain • Comfort • Hybrids • BMX • Kids Bicycles Tricycles • Scooters • Bob Strollers • Unicycles

336.766.5564 • www.clemmonsbicycle.com 2703 Lewisville-Clemmons Rd, Clemmons, NC AUGUST 2020 / 61

Quarter V

Free Dessert with purchase of 2 entrees

Wine Shop Hours: Monday CLOSED Tues - Sat 10am - 9pm Sunday 10am - 3pm

Bistro Hours: DINNER: Tues - Sat 4pm - 9:30pm LUNCH: Friday 11:30am - 3pm BRUNCH: Sat & Sun 10am - 3pm

205 S. Stratford Rd., Suite N | Winston-Salem , NC 27013

336.765.8175

Clemmons 336-766-0401 Mt. Airy 336-783-0227 Walkertown 336-754-4495 Yadkinville 336-679-7064 Winston-Salem 336-999-8037

Join us to celebrate Ribs on Mondays for $1.25/bone.

www.littlerichardsbarbeque.com

E AT S - A L E S - SP I RI TS

Buy 1 Pizza

To place an order Call 336-712-0300 www.ChristinasDessertery.com

Get a 2nd of equal or lesser value for half price.

OFFER EXPIRES AUGUST 31, 2020.

(NOT VALID WITH ANY OTHER OFFER. FOR DINE-IN OR TAKE-OUT)

Mon-Thurs 11am-1am | Fri-Sat 11am-2am Sun 12pm-1am

3425 Kinnamon Village Commons • Winston-Salem (Clemmons Area) 336.893.7331 • PieGuys.com

6235 Towncenter Drive | Clemmons, NC 27045

www.mossysclemmons.com

$5 off any $30 or more purchase

excludes beverage & alcohol one coupon per customer expires 08/31/20

Nothing Bundt Cakes Hakkachow

678 St. George Square Winston Salem · (beside Carmax) (336) 306-9146 NOTHINGBUNDTCAKES.COM

Dining Breakfast | Lunch | Dinner | Dessert | Midtown Market 151 S. Stratford Road | Winston-Salem, NC 27104 336.724.9800 | MidtownCaféWS.com

Savings on Family Friendly Dining

AUGUST 2020 / 63

INGREDIENTS: 8-9 cold apples 1¾ cups heavy cream 1 cup light corn syrup 2 cups light brown sugar, packed ¼ cup unsalted butter, at room temperature ½ teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract DIRECTIONS: 1. Prep the apples: rinse the apples with water, then wipe completely dry. Remove the apple stem and insert a caramel apple stick about ¾ down into the apple.

Homemade Caramel Apples

BY SARA WILES

This

from-scratch caramel is buttery and sweet and can even be used to make soft caramel candies. Caramel apples are the perfect fall transitional dessert. Inspired by crisp fall days at the fair, this treat is fun to make, decorate, serve and eat! The homemade caramel sauce is soft, chewy and slightly sticky, in order to adhere to the apples easily. If applied lightly, the caramel won’t run to the bottom of the apple.

The caramel apples are delicious plain, but chopped nuts, toffee pieces, mini-M&M’s, sprinkles or shredded coconut are unique and fun ways to dress them up.

Specialty tools needed: candy thermometer, pastry brush, wooden sticks

64 / FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

2. Line a large baking sheet with a silicone baking mat or greased baking sheet.

3. Make the caramel: combine heavy cream, corn syrup, brown sugar, butter and salt in a heavy-duty saucepan over medium heat. It is important to keep the heat at medium the entire time the caramel cooks. Stir constantly with a wooden spoon until the butter is melted. Once melted, brush down the sides of the pan with a water-moistened pastry brush and attach a candy thermometer to the pan, making sure the bulb is not touching the bottom of the pan.

4. Without stirring, let the mixture cook and bubble until it reaches 235 degrees Fahrenheit. Once at 235 degrees, remove caramel from heat and stir in vanilla. Allow caramel to cool for 10-15 minutes until slightly thickened. If caramel is too thin to coat apples, let it cool and thicken for 5-10 minutes longer.

5. Dip the apples: holding the apples by the stick, dip the apples into the warm caramel, tilting the pot as needed to coat all sides of the apple. Lift the apple up and swirl it around or gently tap it against the side of the pot to let excess caramel drip off. Place coated apple on prepared pan. Repeat with remaining apples. Enjoy immediately or allow caramel to set, about 45-60 minutes.

6. If desired, you can add toppings. Immediately after coating in caramel and before the caramel sets, roll the carameldipped apples in finely chopped nuts, toffee pieces, miniM&M’s, sprinkles or coconut.

Nu

WEDNESDAY’S @ 12:15

Call with Your Home Buying,

Hunter Realty

Selling, and Property Management Needs.

CHRIS WRIGHTS

336-978-0816 Cell

www.hunterrealtyonline.com chris.hunterrealty@gmail.com AUGUST 2020 / 65

We are Grateful for our advertisers

It’s our privilege to work with our advertising partners, who make this magazine possible. Because of their support, we are able to offer Forsyth Family as a free community resource. As you visit these businesses and organizations, please let them know you saw their ad in this month’s issue!

ACTIVITIES

Salem Gymnastics & Swim......................39 YMCA.......................................................29

BAKERY/CONFECTIONS

Christina’s Dessertery..............................63 Nothing Bundt Cakes..............................63

BEAUTY / STYLING

Lewisville Laser........................................41 Lyndhurst Medical Spa............................39

CHILDCARE

YMCA.......................................................29

CHURCHES

Calvary Baptist Church.............................13

DENTISTS / ORTHODONTISTS

Ardmore Dentistry...................................33 Chermak & Hanson.................................21 Kingery & Kingery DDS............................51 Salem Smiles...........................................57 Tin a S. Merhoff and Associates Pediatric Dentistry...............................15

EDUCATION

Calvary Day School..................................33 Forsyth Country Day School.....................27

St. John’s Lutheran School.......................39

FINANCIAL

WFBH Brenner Children’s..........................2 WomanCare.............................................23

Fai rway Independent Mortgage Corp.....41 Marzano Capital Group..............................7 Tru liant Federal Credit Union.... Back Cover

PHOTOGRAPHY

HEALTH & FITNESS

WBFJ........................................................47 WMAG.....................................................67

Club Pilates................................................9 YMCA.......................................................29

HOME

Chris Wrights, Hunter Realty...................65 Dero’s.......................................................31 Fai rway Independent Mortgage Corp .....41 Jessica Ferris Property Advisors...............41 Piedmont Sheet Metal.............................51 S & K Cleaning.........................................61 Susan Maier-Colon, Broker......................57 Triad Lawn & Landscape...........................57 Weedman................................................49

MEDICAL

Certus Psychiatry & Integrated Care........25 Duke Eye Center........................................5 Eyes on Trade...........................................23 Hillcrest Vision.........................................49 Lewisville Laser........................................41 Lyndhurst.................................................39

JEJ Photos...............................................53

RADIO STATIONS

REAL ESTATE & HOUSING

Airbnb, Amy Smitherman........................19 Chris Wrights, Hunter Realty...................65 Fai rway Independent Mortgage Corp.....41 Jessica Ferris Property Advisors...............41 Porch Lady Properties..............................19 Sus an Maier-Colon Berkshire Hathaway...........................57

RESTAURANTS

Christina’s Dessertery..............................63 Hakkachow Asian Eats.............................63 Lit tle Richard’s Smokehouse BBQ..... 29, 63 Midtown Café & Dessertery.....................63 MOJI Coffee.............................................63 Mossy’s....................................................63 Nothing Bundt Cakes..............................63 Pie Guys Pizza..........................................63 Sunshine Beverage.................................63 Wine Merchants......................................63

RETAIL

Clemmons Bicycle...................................61 Dero’s...................................................... 31 Fiddle & Fig...............................................3 Hip Chics Boutique & Gift........................27 Ho nda-CanAm-SeaDoo of Winston Salem ...................................17

SERVICE

Crossnore School & Children’s Home......45 Family Services........................................43 Home Service Toolbox.............................65 S&K Cleaning...........................................61 Second Harvest Food Bank......................11 Triad Mac.................................................61

SUMMER CAMPS

Salem Gym & Swim.................................39 YMCA.......................................................29

TECHNOLOGY

Triad Mac.............................................61

UPCOMING EVENTS

Culinary Cook-Along............................ 62 Ed ucator Warehouse School Supply Drive..................................... 55 Farm-to-Table To-Go.............................. 11

Check out our online calendar @ ForsythFamilyMagazine.com for August events!

66 / FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

iHeart

AUGUST 2020 / 67

TRUism #23 Truliant

There’s an option for those who like to keep their options open.

Get the cash you need at a great rate with a personal loan or line of credit from Truliant.

Personal Loan – rates as low as –

8.49

% APR

336-659-1955 | Truliant.org

(1) APR = Annual Percentage Rate. Loans subject to credit approval.

subject to change prior to consummation of the loan.

68 / Rates/terms FORSYTHFAMILYMAGAZINE.COM

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