Recognizing the Call for Help

RECOGNIZING THE CALL FOR HELP BY LISA S.T. DOSS

The months spanning 2020 and 2021 brought to the surface an acute awareness of mental health. Weekly, if not daily, video or phone calls and texts reached beloved family and friends, whether near or far, to ask the most critical question, “How are you?” and “Did you leave the house today?” A sign of relief welcomed those willing to talk, opening the door to verbalize concerns, feelings, and problems. Other times, silence or a dismissive response led to a grave worry and the question, “What more can I do?” The “call for help” arrives in varying degrees. While some could verbalize it or use emotions, others chose to enclose themselves in darkness. From that year’s experiences, not one of us can disregard the instinct to seek help for ourselves or others!

An Instructive Tool

As humans, we are complex individuals who selectively share our secrets to a small few. Deep down, there may be a darker, concealing side. As a means to better understand ourselves and our interpersonal relationships, we can use the Johari Window Model, which provides an honest self-assessment through a symbolic, four-paned window.

• The FIRST pane represents complete transparency, a clear glass divulging all thoughts, feelings, and information.

• The SECOND quadrant is known as the “blind.” While others can see hidden strengths and character flaws, the defined values are unknown to you.

• A THIRD window is a place “hidden”—a tinted scene containing information that others do not know.

• The FOURTH pane portrays the complete darkness of the “unknown.” Perhaps the content is buried or forgotten, never revealed or known by others.

Master Sergeant J. was the life of the party. His animated acts, one-liners, and brilliant mind left the crowd in stitches of tears of laughter. His hidden place led to cycles between long bouts of alcoholism and rehab. J.’s “red flag” was known to supportive family and friends; yet, he dressed for work one weekday morning, kissed his wife, and left the house to end the pain.

Defense Mechanisms

Jesse Almanza, USMC, RET., shares, “In the Marine corps, through a program called SACO, Substance Abuse Control Officer, I arranged alcohol and drug classes. Many [others also] came to the discovery that they had underlying problems and needed guidance to learn how to let go. Marines and other military members need an alternative way to cope with missing the births, birthdays, holidays, and deaths of loved ones. Without help, it becomes a defense mechanism to face problems and [we] respond through anger, isolation, alcohol, drugs, or other means.” Defense mechanisms are psychological strategies to separate the mind from unpleasant events, actions, or thoughts. We use denial and compartmentalizing as means of escape. Coping is not all negative.

Do you?

• Engage in a constructive activity when you begin to feel anxious? • Plan rather than allow a challenging situation to result in feeling overwhelmed? • Remain quiet, rather than confront a problem? • Make humorous quips during moments of stress? All the above are normal responses!

Joining a Group

Receiving emotional support necessitates making a phone call or arriving at a destination on time. Nike Roach, Founder of the Gulf War Veterans Coffee in Winston-Salem, shares, “Not everyone wants to join a group. Usually, there are preliminary questions, such as ‘Who is in the group and is it worth my time?’ As leaders of a group, we are not the professionals; yet, as veterans, we are instrumental as a resource to provide a safe space in allowing others to vocalize their thoughts. When we discover someone in a state of crisis, it matters that we were there to hear the confession. While we are not professionals, we are the source of help and can provide places to call or go.”

Whether he or she is a friend or acquaintance, it takes bravery to admit, “I am in a bad place!” Most people need a safe space and a friend among the crowd. You may be the one positive resource to get them from darkness to light!

Veterans Crisis Line Number (800) 273-8255 Clemmons Office Veteran’s Affairs (336) 766-1496

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RETIREMENT INCOME PLANNING FOR WOMEN

More women are working and taking charge of navigating their own retirement income planning than ever before. What does retirement mean to you?

Whatever your goal, you’ll need a retirement income plan that’s designed to support the lifestyle that you envision, and minimize the risk that you’ll outlive your savings.

At Cannon Wealth Management we can review your circumstances, help you sort through your options, and help you charter a course for the future that’s right for you.

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Leading Digital Transformation at Truliant

The disruption caused by the pandemic has tested her three decades of IT experience: Many of Truliant’s 270,000 members have become more reliant on Truliant’s digital services, and hundreds of Truliant employees started working remotely – almost overnight. New programs were instituted to ease economic stress for members and businesses, and Truliant’s digital services saw tremendous growth because the pandemic forced significant in-person banking reductions. “Our job has been to find creative ways to remove member pain points and encourage growth. During the pandemic, we’ve launched new digital capabilities. And we are always asking what we can do so members can be more fully engaged digitally,” Dezarn said. “On all fronts, our teams went beyond expectations, making thoughtful decisions in the face of rapid change.” The platform and the capacity to handle the rapid WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. – From an early age, Laura transition to digital services has been in development TruliantDezarn knew that she had an aptitude for technology. for the past few years at Truliant. The credit union had Dezarn, the vice president of IT infrastructure and built a framework for improving its processes and to operations at Truliant Federal Credit Union since 2018, better understand member experiences and eliminate just got computers. bottlenecks for members. “While I didn’t grow up with easy and instant access “Laura’s impressive operational background made her to computers, I developed a love and fascination a natural fit to lead our IT team’s efforts to improve the for first-generation computers,” Dezarn said. “I was digital experiences of our members,” said Sandeep able to visualize how important technology would Uthra, Truliant’s chief information officer. “I knew become in our lives. And I always thought it would her expertise and experience would be an excellent be a great career.” addition to our IT leadership team. Her skills have Dezarn’s financial-services background, passion for been invaluable over the last year.” leading technology initiatives and strong connection to the Winston-Salem community ultimately led her Women in Tech to Truliant. One of Dezarn’s professional passions is helping women explore tech careers. Women represent about “Our job has been to find half the workforce, but only a quarter of tech jobs. creative ways to remove member pain points and IT jobs are in high demand at many companies. She mentors female students at Wake Forest University. She also encourages young girls to embrace STEM encourage growth.” subjects and tech careers as they begin to put together their educational plans.

Golf

“Like many careers that were once dominated by men – the result of past social and generational norms – the lopsidedness in tech is starting to change,” Dezarn said. Because Dezarn spends so much time in front of a computer, golf is an opportunity to spend time outdoors with her husband, Todd, and their friends. Another part of golf’s appeal is the mental challenge. “The pros make the game look so easy,” Dezarn said. “But every shot is different. There are lots of variables “I offer the women at Wake ideas on varied paths for careers in science and technology,” Dezarn said. “I let built into a course, combined with the always-changing weather conditions. them know that a technology career is a tremendous “Historically, golf has been a male-dominated sport. I opportunity, and many of their social ideals are baked often find myself as one of the few women playing in into the work-life balance philosophies that many tournaments. Golf is another opportunity for women companies are now embracing.” to close the gender gap!” During the pandemic, women suffered a dispropor- Dezarn, a North Wilkesboro native, has been a Forsyth tionate number of the job losses. Looking ahead, some County resident for 24 years, since her days as a Wake of the most in-demand tech jobs could help women Forest MBA student. She and her husband have Truliantclose that gap: web developers, digital interface Westies – West Highland White Terriers. designers, network and computer systems administrators, computer network architects, information security analysts, and database administrators and architects. “I’ve been fortunate to see significant growth opportunities for women in technology. But we have to keeping getting the message out,” Dezarn said. “My experience in hiring for tech jobs is that there are always more job openings than people to fill them. There are plenty of wonderful reasons for capable women to work in tech: pick of assignment, excellent salaries, rewarding careers, opportunities for advancement and a career that is more strategically integrated into the core of many businesses.

RAISING EVERY CHILD GOES VIRTUAL

We have missed being able to see you over the last year. Although it is still too soon to bring people together face-to-face, we are excited to tell you about our upcoming Raising Every Child Virtual Event. We hope you can join us.

By this time last year, we had already booked a return visit by Harvard University’s Robert Putnam, reserved our space at the convention center and printed the sponsorship programs for our annual Raising Every Child Benefit Luncheon. We have lost our largest in-person fundraiser two years in a row. We have missed seeing donors like you. We didn’t get a chance to honor Joe Crocker for his lifetime of service. And, we missed a chance to tell you all of the exciting things we were doing. But, that didn’t mean our work stopped. Despite the pandemic – and in some cases, because of it – we adapted and changed tactics, but we kept moving, kept helping and kept the Vision in Motion.

This year, we will gather, but virtually. We hope you will reserve your seat at no cost. And, we hope that you will encourage anyone you know who cares about children and families in our community to save their spot as well.

We plan to be back next year to do all the things we didn’t get to do – Putnam, Crocker, a communal lunch – all of it. But, for now, we need to keep the conversation going virtually. And, we need champions more than ever. We didn’t stop, but we do have some catching up to do. We’re ready to work as long and as hard as it takes to make up for what we lost, but we can’t do it without you.

Join us on May 5th for an hour-long panel discussion. Two local community experts and a parent of a young child will lead the discussion. • Shenell McClurkin Thompson with the Kate B.

Reynolds Charitable Trust will discuss how the

COVID-19 pandemic has disproportionately affected communities of color – particularly with young children. She will explain the connection between health equity and educational equity, considering that many low-income families with young children receive health screenings and are connected to a medical home by the staff of early childhood development programs. She will also share what we have learned from COVID-19 about the need for universal Pre-K to ensure the health of young children.

• Dr. Lia Erickson, a pediatrician with Novant Health, will focus on delivering medical/health services to young children during the pandemic, specifically in terms of maintaining contact with their medical home and dealing with the effects of social isolation.

• Our parent panelist will share experiences and insight from a family supporting their young children during the last year. Enrollment in the North Carolina Pre-K program in Forsyth County is down by more than 40 percent during the pandemic year, and for much of the time those enrolled were only being reached remotely.

Have you been concerned about our children during the pandemic? If so, join us for this discussion to hear from local experts. There is good news; our children are resilient and will bounce back, but some will need our help.

Thanks to our generous presenting sponsor, Kaplan Early Learning Company, the event is free and all donations will go directly to support the work of Family Services.

Save your spot now. Visit tinyurl.com/ raisingeverychild or call us at 336.722.8173.

Michelle Speas, CFRE Vice President, Philanthropy and Public Relations

the Farmer’s Basket

BY LISA S.T. DOSS

featuring

The open forum of a marketplace is a burst of seasonal colors and a steady buzz of chatter. The curious shopper discovers she has direct access to fresh and locally grown fruits and vegetables, herbs, dairy-based products, and proteins. The woman or man behind the table provides a small sampling of popular items; yet, shoppers can experience a more comprehensive array of goods by visiting the farm. It’s vital to introduce yourself and inquire if there is a “farm store.” Most likely, it’s on a familiar road, not too far from home! “Support local” is more than just an expression. It’s an opportunity to support growers and farmers in communities near you!

Hanging Rock State Park Farmer’s Market

On a day to consider, “Where can we go today?”, individuals and families need to remember that an exceptional state park is roughly 45 minutes north. Offering a traditional outdoor experience, Hanging Rock has picnic grounds, a lake for swimming and canoeing, accessible hiking trails for all levels, rock climbing opportunities, clear streams, and waterfalls. Since 2010, the park has added one additional feature for visitors—the Stokes Future Farmers’ Market. In addition to locally produced fruits, vegetables and proteins, such as fresh farm eggs and butchered meats, patrons can purchase baked goods, artisan crafts, jewelry, and find unique treasures! Stop at the visitors’ center parking lot on Saturdays, starting on April 24, from 11 AM to 2 PM. Don’t forget to bring a cooler!

For more information, check out facebook.com/ stokesfarmersmarket to find summer hours.

Plum Granny Farm Weekly Update

Subscribing to Cheryl Ferguson’s blog is similar to receiving a letter from a good friend. Readers anticipate the words, “Happy Friday, farm friends,” and feel connected to the farm. Cheryl says, “I share the beautiful and the not-so-beautiful. We enjoy sharing our story! Five years ago, I committed to writing a weekly newsletter. Education is important to Ray and me. We wanted to give readers more than just what we were selling. It was an opportunity to build relationships while telling folks about our farming practices and offering suggestions of what they could plant at home.” A frequent item of discussion in the blog is the farm’s organic certification. As the only Certified Organic produce farm in Stokes or Forsyth Counties, Cheryl explains the challenges and benefits to their customers in maintaining certification.

To receive the weekly update, go to plumgrannyfarm.com/mailinglist.

Plant Sales, Classes, and the Future Farm Store

Plum Granny’s is not your typical old-fashioned vegetable stand. The farm sells its products through an online store, a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) program, and occasionally at Cobblestone Farmer’s Market in Winston-Salem. Additionally, Cherl and Ray have a jampacked calendar that allows visitors to register for workshops, such as “Growing Brambles at Home” (May 16) and a Ginger harvest festival in September.

Plant sales, offered throughout the year, feature organic seasonally appropriate plants. Mark your calendars for the next huge summer plant sale, which offers 3,000 vegetable and herb plants, ginger and turmeric plants, and fig trees. (April 30 to May 2.) It’s a three-day plant extravaganza! And, look for the farm store opening, “Pick-Your-Own events,” farm tours, and harvest celebrations through the farm’s website or newsletter!

Expanding PlumFresh

In their biggest year, Cheryl and Ray increased numbers of their CSA program, “PlumFresh.” Subscribers receive benefits by selecting substitutes or ordering “add-ons,” such as pastured farm fresh eggs, honey, and dairy products in a “pay-as-you-go” system. Personalized care includes the option of home delivery or pick-up at Buffalo Creek Farm and Creamery, Cobblestone Farmer’s Market, or Clemmons Mill.

Located at 1041 Flat Shoals Road in King, Plum Granny is a North Carolina Century Farm that you will want to know!