@FCDS Newsletter - Winter 2022

WINTER 2022

@ FCDS UPDATES FROM FORSYTH COUNTRY DAY

A Note From Gardner

In this Issue:

HEAD OF SCHOOL

Destination FCDS Dear Furies, Happy New Year! Last year was incredible because we got to return to ALMOST normal, and we resumed so many activities that we were unable to do in 2020 and early 2021. We welcomed families to campus again for traditional activities such as the Music on the Lawn, the all-school tailgate, and to volunteer. It was great to see everyone again!

Creating a Campus For What's Ahead Good Advice

In this issue, you’ll meet two wonderful families—both new to the school in 2021—who were drawn to FCDS from a distance. Read about the Cardenas family and the Tan family in Destination FCDS .

If you haven’t been to campus recently, it’s amazing to see what we’ve achieved over the past few years! Take a look at our new or updated spaces and places in Creating a Campus for What’s Ahead .

Finally, the ongoing pandemic has been challenging for all of us. One way to lessen the burden— especially on our kids—is to talk about it! Our three school counselors have tips and tricks to get (or keep) the conversation flowing and the lines of communication open in Good Advice .

Happy reading!

Take care and be well,

Gardner Barrier ’97

Destination FCDS The word has gotten around about Forsyth Country Day. Meet two families—one who came from Tennessee and one who joined us all the way from Singapore by way of Hong Kong—and hear their take on how they got here and what FCDS means to them.

The Cardenas Family Frank and E.J. Cardenas thought they had their lives figured out. Both had successful careers they enjoyed, and their three school-age children were attending a sought-after public elementary school in Nashville, Tennessee (20-month-old Violet was still at home).

An interior designer, E.J. had found an architect, Bobby McAlpine, whose work she loved, and E.J. and Frank were working with Bobby to design their dream home in Nashville. Then the Covid-19 pandemic hit. School went virtual and they pressed pause on the rest of their plans.

“Lo and behold, in March of 2021, one of Bobby’s homes came up for sale in Winston-Salem,” Frank said. “We were already familiar with North Carolina, but all I knew about Winston-Salem was that Wake Forest University was here. We went to see the home in person and loved it. We fell in love with the property, fell in love with the city.

Our kids had been out of traditional school for a year and a half, and—although we are creatures of habit, we’re occasionally up for an adventure.”

Both Frank and E.J.’s work could be done from anywhere, so they bought the house. During the negotiation process, they met the home’s owners: FCDS alumni David Neill ’79 and Scottie Neill ’84.

The families grew close—bonded by the fact they both have four children, the home they both loved, and so much more.

“When we closed on our home, we got a number of packages issued to the Cardenas kids,” Frank says. “It was actually from the Neill family. They asked their children [Mary Scott FCDS ’10, Betsy, Lydie FCDS ’14, and Rob, ‘What would you really like for these kids?’ and they purchased a bunch of toys and stuff for our kids.”

The Neills also helped the Cardenas family find Forsyth Country Day. “I think David called the school and said, ‘There’s a family looking to move here.’ We visited and Nathan [Battle] gave us a great tour and the kids loved it.”

The transition was surprisingly easy for the kids. Ben, their fourth grader, was blown away by the sports on the tour. “When he walked into the basketball arena, he was ready to get to the sixth-grade level [which is when you can play Fury sports].”

Vivian, their extrovert, immediately found a friend in Molly Lynch, the daughter of Cate Reece Lynch FCDS ’04, who works at the school, and—in another odd twist—used to babysit for the Neills.

“Max, our fifth grader and our family’s safety officer, was worried about adjusting to his new school, especially since he was going into middle school. We reached out and talked to Robin [Snow, the middle school director], and he has absolutely flourished. He loved the transition to middle school. We were so appreciative of Robin,” Frank said. She even introduced Max to her fifth-grade son, Hunter, and his friends, so that Max was able to find a great group of friends right off the bat.

The school year is going extremely well, and the family is happy with both their new city and school. “We love it and we love the school so much. It’s been great,” Frank said. The family especially appreciates the availability of the Johnson Academic Center and its specialists. “The overall attentiveness we’ve witnessed, having the ability to talk to Megan [Newbauer] in the JAC or to think about different learning needs…it’s been really great to see,” Frank said. “It’s a fear we all have, ‘How is my child able to learn?’. Seeing the ways you guys operate and really embrace learning differences is amazing.”

The Tan Family Originally from Singapore, the Tan family moved to Hong Kong in 2018 for dad Eric’s job. “Our three-year stint in Hong Kong was quite memorable, and we experienced and saw a different side of the city,” said mom Christina Khoo.

The four children—seventh-grader Caitlyn, sixthgrader Matthew, fourth-grader Abigail, and firstgrader Mikaela—attended Singapore International School in Hong Kong before the Covid-19 pandemic hit. “The kids were on home-based learning for most of 2020 and part of 2021,” Christina said.

“The teachers have been very encouraging and they have fostered a positive learning environment for the kids.”

- Christina Khoo, new FCDS parent

In September 2021, they relocated to Winston-Salem for work. “Eric had been to Winston a few times on business trips and he always shared with us what the city is like and how it would be great for our family to experience living in Winston,” Christina said.

The first priority was finding the right school.

“Finding a suitable school for the kids is always top of the list when we move,” Christina said. “Eric spoke to a few of his coworkers and they highly recommended Forsyth Country Day School. They were full of praise for the school, sharing how their children enjoyed it and the numerous activities and opportunities offered. We were very fortunate that spaces were available for each of them.”

Christina was concerned that the children might struggle with adapting to a new school and culture. “It was their first time attending school not having to wear a uniform and eating school lunch,” she said. “[There were] so many firsts for the first day of school. I’m so glad it all went well!”

The Tans embraced FCDS, attending community nights, the all-school tailgate, and other campus activities that made them feel at home and involved in school. “The teachers have been very encouraging and they have fostered a positive learning environment for the kids. In essence, they are enjoying school and they look forward to seeing their teachers and friends.”

The students also offered a warm reception. “The students at Forsyth were really welcoming and curious about where the kids were from as well,” Christina said. “Singapore is a small island city-state with a population of 5 million in an area that’s 281.3 square miles in size (three times the size of Washington, D.C. ) and not many of their friends were familiar with where it is geographically and what it’s like there.”

Having spent a good number of their formative years out of Singapore, the kids are also known as Third Culture Kids. “We hope that they will be global citizens with an expanded worldview in the future who will be able to adapt to different environments and build friendships wherever they go,” Christina said. “We are thankful that we are now in Winston and are settling well, and we hope to explore more of the U.S.”

Creating a Campus For What's Ahead Ogburn History Room

Infinity Amphitheater

Legacy Track

Williams Tennis Center

Fury Ltd.

Rickabaugh Orthodontics Outdoor Head of School Suite

As we advance our mission of preparing students for what’s ahead, our campus environment continues to play an important role in teaching and learning.

Thanks to our vision, generous families, and dedicated staff, we’ve been able to complete eighteen projects in the last five years. See a full list at fcds.org/about/master-planning.

Teacher Space

Fifth Grade Academy

Good Advice Navigating the ins and outs of growing up and going to school are a challenge in normal times, but when you factor in an ongoing global pandemic, it’s even harder. The key to helping our children (and students) navigate these strange times lies in the strength of our relationships.

FCDS’s dedicated counseling team—Dr. Melissa MannBailey (Upper School), Mrs. Jenifer Gornik (Middle School), and Mrs. Megan Martin-Wall (Lower School)—provide some insight into what students need and how parents (and teachers) can help.

“Building relationships with kids comes down to two things: connection and communication,” Mrs. Martin-Wall said. Here are their tips for building those connections.

Knock Down the Barriers

“When you’re talking to your children, never stand over them. Be considerate of their physical space,” Dr. MannBailey said. If you’re behind a desk or counter, move so that you are next to them. “Let there be no physical barriers. Talk to them eye to eye, heart to heart, soul to soul. It’s authentic and it lets you meet them where they are.”

Ditch the Distractions

We’re always telling our kids to put down their phones or to turn off the Xbox, but we need to practice what we preach.

“Put your phone down. Turn the TV off. Be present. Don’t even do other business, like folding laundry,” Dr. MannBailey said.

Mrs. Gornik agreed. “We want kids to share, so we can be an example of that. Model what you want them to do, which is communicate openly with you and other adults in their lives.

We all make mistakes; they are opportunities for learning and growth.”

Provide a Safe Space

In order to get children to connect and communicate, we have to give them a safe space to do so.

“Just listen,” Mrs. Martin-Wall said. “Don’t minimize or dismiss what they’re saying with something like: ‘You’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.’ It minimizes what they are feeling. Just reflect on what you’re hearing. You can then say, ‘I’m sorry that happened. How can I help you?’”

Mrs. Gornik agreed. “If you’re in the middle of something and “Let them know it’s OK not to be OK,” Mrs. Gornik said. “We your child needs to talk, say, ‘I care about what you have to say and want to be able to listen fully to what’s on your mind. don’t have to fix it. We don’t have to make them happy in that moment or give them all that they want. It’s O.K. to feel Just give me a moment to finish this and I’m all yours’.” uncomfortable.”

“If you’re in the car, turn the radio off and be fully present,” Dr. Mann-Bailey wants us to pay close attention to what our Mrs. Martin-Wall said. children yearn for. “Listen to what their aspirations are and lean into that more,” she says. “It’s so beneficial.”

Make the Time We live in a world of perpetual busyness, and we need to make the time to build our relationships with our loved ones. In order to keep the space safe and build trust, we need to respect our child’s privacy. “Keep things confidential,” Dr. Mrs. Martin-Wall advocates stealing a little time. “Skip the Mann-Bailey says. “Don’t tell the whole family what your child carpool every now and then in order to be alone with your told you. They trusted you. Get their permission if you want to child,” she said. “A little one-on-one time does wonders.” tell anyone else.”

“Figure out creative ways to build relationships with your children,” Dr. Mann-Bailey said. “Hone in on who they are. If Build Your Network they like cooking, cook together and talk together. Take them Part of helping our children grow up in a healthy way means building a team of caring adults like the one that’s in place at for a walk. It’s another way to let them see you in a different FCDS. Parents can let teachers or administrators know when light.” their child is having a hard time, and teachers and coaches can reach out to parents when they notice a student is struggling or Be Vulnerable just doesn’t seem like themselves. At FCDS, we also want our For older elementary school students on up, don’t feel the students to feel empowered to seek help for themselves from need to be “perfect” in front of them or to maintain the any adult on campus. “You can help kids communicate their facade that you have it all together - especially during a feelings and find their voices to talk to the adults in their lives pandemic. “As parents, we need to be able to identify our own emotions,” Dr. Mann-Bailey said. “Children can pick up who care,” Dr. Mann-Bailey said. “Parents and teachers and coaches can be the bridge. Notice what’s going on with your on those emotions, so give yourself some grace.” kids, pay attention, and be there for them.”

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