How Counselling Helped Heal Me

Tree of Remembrance Hello, I am Julie Drake, 62-year-old mother and grandmother. I have been fit and healthy all my life until Cancer reared its ugly head in the form of advanced Ovarian Cancer, diagnosed on June 5th 2020. The only symptom I had was serious constipation (almost ten days), extreme bloating (never had that before) and loss of appetite, because it felt that if I tried to swallow food it had nowhere to go! I had always led an active life, walking, cycling, swimming, horse-riding and skiing. I am also a pilot and fly a mini microlight for goodness sake, I am never ill. So, when I was diagnosed, initially with advanced Stage 3c Ovarian Cancer which had spread, I was immediately in shock, denial, anger. I swore a lot, I cried a lot, I was terrified that I might die. Seventeen days later I had a seven hour operation, was on a ventilator for 23 hours and kept asleep for nearly a day. I was in a Critical Care ward for two nights and then gynae surgical ward for eight nights. Allowed home on July 2nd, the 37 stainless steel staples down my center scar made me feel like a broken rag doll. My boyfriend dumped me the day after I came out of hospital, saying he needed to look after his own well-being! I suffered alone during six 21-day cycles of chemotherapy and also had 15 days of radiotherapy. I had support from three amazing friends and lovely neighbours. On December 14th my Consultant gave me the ALL CLEAR OF CANCER good news. In the complete hysterectory and debulking operation they also took my spleen, which means I have zero immunity, so I was told I had to have several immunisations and would have to be on antibiotics every day for life.

I had the flu jab and have had both Covid jabs early because I was classified as in the highly vulnerable at risk category.

Since then I have focused on eating well and staying healthy, concentrating on improving gut health. I took myself off the ‘daily for

life’ antibiotics because I believed that was wiping out my gut bacteria and I told my doctor I had done so and my reasons why. She agreed with my decision and said current thinking is only to be on antibiotics for 2yrs - I had done only ten months but its my body and my life and I had her blessing.

During my chemo treatment I was offered counselling sessions. I had never had counselling before and I thought “why not, after all I had the time didn’t I”. It was the best decision ever. Kathy my Counsellor was wonderful, she helped me discover how I got here, seeing the past and understanding myself and others around me. MacMillan then offered me Life-Coaching and it was the perfect next step to see what I wanted for my life. Nobody wants cancer but this journey has cleared away the dross and helped me let the past go and find the vision of my future. Don’t be fooled, counselling is not pain free, there has been a lot of tears and heart searching but knowing what I know now I wouldn’t hesitate to accept it.

Cancer changes us in so many ways, I am not the same person any more.

I don’t take things for granted, I am kinder and generous. I realise now that money is not important, people are important. You have to only surround yourself with positivity and good people, let the bad ones go as they will only drag you down. To survive cancer and move on, I found that appreciating the little things in life and being kind to yourself, lots of laughter (at yourself often), accepting all help that is offered because you are giving them the gift of giving and yourself the graciousness of accepting, lots of sleep and gentle exercise too.

One aspect that I found really hard was the emotional hurt of body image, apart from the 12 inch vertical scar and 37 stainless steel staples, at one stage all I had left was my eyelashes. When I looked at my reflection I just cried and thought “who is going to love me now?”. But the thing to hold on to is that old saying of “It will pass, it does get better” and it really does. Our poor bodies take a real battering but hair does grow back, smiles return, life turns a corner and here we are getting on with life again.

I have met a new man, my soul mate and we are very happy.

Forest Holme counselling is a wonderful service and I can’t praise them enough.

Forest Holme Hospice Charity funds the Palliative and General

Counsellor at the hospice. 9

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Thank you.