Pop-In Group

Why Forest Holme Hospice Charity provides the Pop-In Bereavement Group

The death of a loved one is a difficult time for anyone and can lead to individuals, especially widows and widowers, feeling lost and alone. Many have grown up children with families of their own to worry about and it can be difficult to adjust to so much time spent by themselves. However, three months into their grieving Forest Holme Hospice Charity offers a light in the dark by inviting anyone who has lost a loved one supported by Forest Holme Hospice to our monthly Pop-In Bereavement Group. This service led by nurses, volunteers and members, offers the opportunity to chat to people who are going through a similar experience and know how they feel. The nurses and members offer a listening ear, friendly support and comforting words with an aim to ease the pain on those initial lonely days.

Outcomes of providing the Pop-In Bereavement Group

The Pop-In Group has been a lifeline to many who have lost a loved one over the many years we have been providing the service. Meeting new people going through similar experiences has created lifelong relationships that have helped ease individuals back into the daunting world of socialising without their partner.

Hi, my name is Malcolm Kay. Not a lot of people know that I was born in London on the 24th May 1947 in the Borough of Camden. I was told by my mum that it was the hottest day of the year.

My school days were happy as far as I can remember, so at the age of 16 I joined the Merchant Navy as a cadet. It was an eye opener into a different world and it was not long before I was off to sea. Apart from learning to be come a 4th officer, I made a lot of tea and coffee. I am now a Master Mariner but I did give up the sea for a few years to look after my lovely Josephine.

I first came into contact with Forest Holme through the lovely nurse Pauline, who was a great help to me and my Josie. She was always there at the end of the phone and came to see us on a regular basis.

I first started at pop-in way back in 2020 - my Forest Holme counsellor was a great help to me she got me through a very difficult time. We meet on the first Monday of every month and we are a great bunch. Apart from all the tea and coffee and biscuits and cakes, you can talk about your situation or you can put the world to rights; it's great to be part of this group.

The group has really helped me and I don't feel alone and you can get things off your chest as there is always someone who will listen and help if needed. If you are considering attending the group, do not be apprehensive - come along and meet us. We do not bite and if we can help you, we will and that’s it, so take care out there and be safe.

Hello everyone and hope you are all coping well during these difficult times with the pandemic and not always been able to see our close families.

My name is Giovanni D’Amico and I’m known as Nino since I was born. In September 2019, unexpectedly, I lost Jane, my wife of 46 years to lung cancer. 16

Jane passed away in Forest Holme. We have many trying times during our lives but the loss of our loved ones cannot be compared to anything we had or will experience in the future. The time of bereavement and subsequent grief takes over our lives and engulfs our entire existence, unable to function mentally and physically.

I’m grateful to Forest Holme for the support they provide in the way of two great services.

First the ‘Therapeutic Bereavement Support Group’, where I understood how to deal with my personal grief, and although the progression is different for everyone, what we feel is normal and somehow comforting that we are not alone in feeling this way. I have met, and made, new friends, and able to support each other unconditionally.

Secondly, the ‘Pop-In Group’ is a more relaxed get together, a way of being with people who have experienced the loss of a loved one, but informally chatting about anything and everything over a cup of tea or coffee and a slice of cake or two, served and looked after by wonderful volunteers.

A big thank you to all of you. It’s very difficult to deal with bereavement and grief and we all have our own different ways of managing, from sport to gardening, from joining social groups to learning new skills and hobbies. Over the years I’ve always enjoyed writing, for my own pleasure mainly, and during this sad period of bereavement and grief I found comfort and solace in writing down feelings and emotions and anything else that comes to mind. I also enjoy writing poems.

I would like to dedicate this poem below to all the friends in both aforementioned groups and the volunteers at Forest Holme. Thank you all

Nino

BLESSINGS TO GIVE

I have no riches gold or pearls I’m not a prince, duke or an earl. Time I can give and feelings I share Sending you blessings wrapped in a prayer. I could win you trophies and medals, write songs or books with no end, but all my treasures are the blessings I send.

Gifts we give and promises we make but cherish this day as sending all my blessings is all I can say. (Nino 2021)