Issue 50- Ladies First ft Trina Braxton

This Month in Ford Ent Mag: 04 D J

SAMORE TOP 5

05 SERIOUSLY

UNDER ESTIMATED 06 LYRICS

TO LIVE BY 07 PRETTY HUSTLAZ: WHAT’D YOU MISS 11

Owned & Operated by Ford Johnson Publishing

Publisher

Ford Johnson Publishing

Creative Director Rachelle Ford

Executive Assistant Ismonde “IZ” Luberisse Writers Ladychelle DJ Samore

Cover Designed by 21K Designs

MONIQUE SMITH

14 TRINA

BRAXTON

16 BEAUTY

OF THE MONTH: 239TRAP 18 PLUG

DJS STREET CHART 20 VONZELL

SALOMON

23 LADYCHELLE’S

DIRTY LAUNDRY

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INDIE PICKS 1.Lorenzo Crash 2. Cypher Peep Game 3. Jimmy Black Journeyman 4. PT My Question 5. Reggie Iz Real Treat You Good 6. Mason Indigo Flu Game 7. Young Niyah Hit Em 8. American Will Beach Party 9. Chivonne Saywhat Thinking About Me 10. Kissy Lee ft Syri The Kid Crash My Party IF YOU WANT TO BE FEATURED IN THIS SEGMENT, SEND YOUR TRACK TO URBANENTRADIO@GMAIL. COM PUT FORD INDIE SPOTLIGHT IN SUBJECT TO BE CONSIDERED.

1 2 3

ELLA MAI Boo’d Up

We look at what’s hot on the radio according to Mediabase/BDS Soundscan, the streets, and Dj Samore, and what she feels is that next hot record. Most of the time when she says it’s a hit, it’s a hit!

Spotlight Tracks Cardi B I Like It

DRAKE Nice For What

Yella Beezy That’s On Me

4

5

The Carters Ape Shit

Drake In My Feelings

YG | Nicki Minaj | 2 Chainz | Big Sean

Big Bank

WATCH DJ SAMORE TOP 5 WEEKLY , FOR THE WEEKLY UPDATE WHAT’S HOT ON THE RADIO, IN THE STREETS, FIND OUT NEW ARTIST, INTERVIEWS, AND HOT IN THESE STREETS OF ATLANTA. FOLLOW ON IG @DJSAMORETOP5

Seriusly Under Estimated

I’m so proud of you as if you’re sis. Because I’ve watched you grow within your journey. Tell who you are and how long you’ve been in the game.

I’m Suzie. I’ve been rapping since I was 5. I first went to the studio when I was 11 when I moved to Atlanta, and then when I moved to Florida at 14 I just kept it going.

So I would say about 23 years now that I’ve been at this music stuff.

on what all have been happening?

So far, the biggest thing that’s happened, I have been working on a few singles that I’m getting ready to put out, but as far as 2018, the biggest thing thus far will be actually signing to Trina.

And how did that come about?

Actually kind of a long story, but basically Joy Young, she saw me perform at a show in Naples and she Recently, you’ve had some per- passed my info along to Trina’s peosonal things happen in your life ple and eventually Trina reached out that you’ve been open about on to me and it just went from there. social media, so we get to kinda watch your life. Do personal things I was actually at that show in Nahappening in your life ever throw ples, and one thing I want people to you off balance in your music? understand is how everything kind Yea, sometimes honestly it actu- of happens based on your decisions ally does. Because I get to a point you make at that moment. I know where it’s like I can either try to during that show you had some isexpress it through my music or sues with one of the hosts hogging sometimes it actually blocks me the mic and refusing to give you from being able to write the mu- the mic. And that’s sic just being so emotional about where you could have whatever I’m going through at the chosen to say “F this” time. Just it’s a mixture of both. and move on, but you waited patiently and

If there was a title for THE album that finally when you represented your whole life so far up until now, what would be the title of that album?

The title would be SUE, it’s an acronym for Seriously Under Estimated.

That’s actually the title of my project that I’m about to release soon.

Speaking of projects, lately, as we’ve all seen the headlines you look like you’ve been having a great 2018. Can you catch us up

got the mic you took off. Was that a conscious decision on your part?

Yea that’s pretty much what it was.

But I also knew that whenever the mic was handed over to me and my music was heard, I knew it was going to capture them anyway so I wasn’t really worried. I did for a moment think, maybe I should just leave, because it was getting late and it was getting close to everybody getting ready to leave, but the way everything worked out, it worked out the way it did for a reason, looking back on it, I’m actually happy that it worked out the way it did.

Do you feel like “I’ve made it” or do you feel like this is step one?

I definitely feel like this is step one.

Trina can throw me a cosign all day long, but it’s on me to take it and run with it.

Lyrics to Live By: Trina -Da Baddest Bitch I’m unemployed with no boss ho / While y’all sucking dick for free I’m broke off ho / See it pays to be the boss ho / Shit that’s how you floss hoes

See this ain't nothing that you use to / Out of the ordinary unusual/ You gotta have the mind state like I'm so great / Can't nobody do it like you do / Miraculous, phenomenal and ain't nobody in here stopping you / Show no love cause you what's up / Look at ya self in the mirror like what the fuck Remy Ma- Conceited

Lauren Hill The MisEducation of Lauren Hill Deep in my heart / the answer it was in me. / And I made up my mind to define my own destiny

India Arie- Videos When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me / Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be / And I know my Creator didn't make no mistakes on me / My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes, I'm loving what I see

Jill Scott- Hate On Me You Cannot... / Hate On me / Cause my mind is free / Feel my destiny So Shall it Be

Rihanna- Needed Me Baby, don't get it twisted / You was just another nigga / on the hit list / Tryna fix your inner issues / with a bad bitch / Didn't they tell you that I was a savage?

Foxy Brown- Broken Silence Even though I felt crumbled / I made it through the rumble

Cardi B- I Do Look, broke hoes do what they can / Good girls do what they told / Bad bitches do what they want / That’s why a bitch is so cold

Janet Jackson

What Have You Done For Me Lately

I never ask for more than I deserve

Beyonce- Freedom I break chains all by myself / Won’t let my freedom rot in hell / I’mma keep runnin’ because a winner don’t quit on themselves.

Solange- F.U.B.U When you know you gotta pay the cost / Play the game just to play the boss

Eve- Who’s that girl Yo power moves is made everyday by this thorough bitch / I'mma get this bank anyway that I do this shit / I was born to shine while most of y'all was borderline bullshhit

Queen Latifa- U.N.I.T.Y Who you callin a btch!?

Lil Kim- I’m Human A queen is not a queen, / because she is felt / But a queen is a queen, because failure has not stopped her

Missy “Misdemeanor” ElliottGossip Folks When I walk up in the piece /I ain't gotta even speak / I'm a bad mamajama goddammit motherfucker you ain't / gotta like me

Nicki Minaj- Shanghai All of these bitches in pocket, / I'm 'bout to make a deposit / Tell 'em to go 'head and gossip / As long as your house is / the size of my closet Who did we miss?

Sound off online IG: @Fordentmag Facebook: Ford Entertainment Magazine

What You’ve Missed

What

Missy Elliott Can Teach Us

About Women Empowerment.

These days, the subject of “women empowerment” is a widely discussed topic. We host brunches, write think pieces, and post memes on the subject. After all, it’s been tested and proven that amazing things can happen when women support one another. The real question is how often do we see people not just talk the talk walk the walk. This month alone we’ve had a beef between the “dolls,” Asian Doll and Kash Doll, a physical altercation between Akbar V and Tommie, and ongoing tension between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj. It seems when it comes to women in hip-hop it’s never nice. There

is however an exception the rule; Missy Misdemeanor Elliot.

Prior to launching her solo career Missy worked with some of our favorite girl acts of the 90s; SWV, 702 and Aaliyah just to name a few.

Her contributions to them included guest appearances writing and collaborations. It seems that Missy has never had a problem working with other women in the business. After launching her very successful solo career, Missy continued to support her peers. Something we don’t

see often between Female entertainers. Notably, Missy gave us ladies night. It was one of if not the best female collaboration of all time. Missy Elliott, Da Brat, Left Eye, Angie Martinez & Lil Kim and Mary J Blidge appeared altogether in one video looking to have a great time and genuinely enjoy each other. The video left us looking for another display of female solidarity decades after its release.

Today, Missy continues to be a shining example of what woman empowerment means. She’s aided in the careers of so many women in the industry. We can all learn a thing or two from her genuine positivity and never hesitating to embrace another artist as well as acknowledge the work of others.

What You’ve Missed

Tips For Getting Dressed in the car ready comfortably it is important to bring necessities.

Tip #4

Things you may need : Makeup Hair Tools and products Clothes Shoes Hygiene

When it comes to clothes less is more . Dresses are always the quickest thing to get in and out of. Unless where your going has a mandatory dress code, dark colors are always best.

Dark clothes are less likely to look dirty and if accidents happen while in the car its easy to pull it off. Material that may be hard to wrinkle is highly recommended while getting dressed in tight places.

Tip #2

Makeup

Its important to keep it simple .

Make up the helps out your look by a ton. Don’t forget the Eyelashes , brow pencil, foundation , powWhen your a pretty hustla,you der highlight and contour pallet. are always on the go. Many Bring 3 brushes you can’t live with things to do in different settings out. (remember blending is key ) will have you getting dressed in some random places such as note : there is no need to bring a public bathrooms , closets in lot of brushes the less make up public. Today we are focusing the better. it is important to keep on what to do then we have make up simple for the sake of to get dressed in a car. Getting keeping all clothes clean. dressed in the car can be difficult especially when you are someone with long legs. Here are some tips that may help you Hair Tools and be prepared for getting dressed Products in the car for things to run more It is a time saver if you have a hair style that will last all day. if your smoothly. hair easily gets messy take a brush or comb. note : Buns are a secure hair style The first thing you need to do it appropriate for every occasion bring the things that you need. and can stay all day with the right If your on the go and know that products .

Tip #3

Tip #1

you won’t have time to get

Clothes

Tip #5

Shoes

If you can where the same shoes all day try to because less is more, however if you have to switch shoes the less straps are better. easy on and off shoes are always best for on the go.

Tip #6

Hygiene

Make sure to take products that will vastly refresh your look and appearance and body oder.

Deodorant, perfume, mouth wash, lip balm and products for your hair.

Note : Main Focus is that you are fresh and ready to go to the next destination

T

“ he person you see today is a walking testimony of a person I no longer am."

You are a beautician, a hair stylist, that’s what I know you from. But what I really want to talk about is your Pamper Me Pretty workshop, let’s start at the beginning of the idea. Tell me about your life and your experiences that brought on that idea.

I have experienced some traumatic situations in my life. I have been in abusive relationships, physically mentally and emotionally, it got the point where I didn’t love the outer or inner appearance of myself. 10 years ago I had a baby, was not expecting to have a baby, doctors told me I could never have another child, so when I had him I felt like God had given me another chance to relive all the things I went through, going in and out of jail. Initially, I was the victim, but I eventually became the abuser. So I saw my baby as a second chance, so 10 years ago when I gave birth to my son, I made a life decision that I didn’t want to be the person that I was anymore. 7 years ago is when Pamper Me Pretty started. I had just gotten out of a relationship, I wanted to fall in love with the person I saw in the mirror. As we all know, with babies come extra weight, and I gained a lot of weight, so I didn’t feel pretty anymore. So I stood in the mirror and looked in the mirror and made sure that I fell in love with what I saw.

As a woman, I’ve also experienced abuse. But tell me as a woman, experiencing abuse and taking that, and becoming the abuser. Tell me about that transformation.

Getting into a mind frame where I just didn’t want to get hit anymore.

I have bruises all over my body, they won’t change unless I get plastic surgery, I got tired of the bruis-

es. I got tired of the scars. And I said, this time, I’m going to pass the first lick. Not knowing that in passing the first lick it actually created more problems, because I hit pretty hard for a girl, but it created more problems because now it went to both of us fighting. And I didn’t want to stop because I needed him to know that he’s not going to be like every other guy I ever dated. So I became the aggressor. I would be the one to belittle them, physically, whatever I could do to make them feel it, and in turn, I was destroying myself from the inside as well.

You also mentioned that you were in and out of jail. Did all of that happen as you started becoming the abuser?

Kind of hit or miss, it actually depended on the guy that I was dating. If it was a guy that I knew was weak, I was the aggressor. If it was a guy that I felt that I couldn’t physically beat him, then I would become the victim. So it was kinda like a rollercoaster ride. Until my last relationship. The last time I ever got physically beat, I said I didn’t want to do this anymore.

Was it during maybe your last stint in jail did you decide, you know what? This needs to stop. Or when did that actually happen for you?

My son is 17, at the time he was 2, and I got released from jail and came home and he didn’t know who I was. He thought I was his cousin. It was difficult for me to give me to give birth to a child and the child not recognizing who you are.

And have no emotional connection because when I left he was 8 months. So the only the only connection he had was with my mom.

It took 15, 16 years to build that

connection, I know that it hasn’t been that long, but just because I relived it every time, my son not knowing me. It was like I was a stranger. So to have to relive that over and over again was enough of a motivation for me to say, this is not what I want. So when I had my 10-year-old, I made myself a promise that he would never be in a position where I had to go away and my kids not knowing who I was.

So when you started Pamper Me Pretty, 7 years ago, when you first started the program, tell me the idea that you had for it and tell me if your vision for it is still the same today.

Initially, my first Pamper Me Pretty was strictly about hair. I thought I braid boot camp at my church and I just wanted the young ladies to understand the importance of, if you don’t have what society deems as the funds to maintain your outer appearance, that these were some quick and easy tips that you could do at home in order to keep your appearance up to date, or nice. But I was also transitioning in life myself like I said the weight gain from the baby, so I wanted to not only work on the outer but also on the inside.

Because beauty really does begin within. So I decided to take self-esteem classes and from that, I transitioned it to where I spend more time focusing on the core, the inside, and then my last class is working on the outer.

And having experiences with being in jail, would you say that how a young woman feels about herself on the inside is directly related to her life decisions that would land her in jail?

I wouldn’t necessarily say that every woman who has low self-es-

teem, that’s their end results. But low self-esteem causes us to make poor decisions. It causes us to get involved with the wrong crowd, most of the time, there’s a saying that girls are to be seen not heard, and usually, the loudest girl has the lowest self-esteem. So it affects everyone differently. You have women whose work ethic aren’t the same because of low self-esteem and they feel like that’s their only way out. There’s a broad spectrum of what the end result could be due to low self-esteem.

Would you say you’ve conquered that now, and now you never have a doubting moment?

No, I call them moments, I don’t call them low self-esteem, I call them moments. When I do experience my moments, what I do are the same activities that I teach at Pamper Me Pretty, I teach them to myself, I incorporate my self-affirmations within the class. So there are things that I do, when I’m having a moment, I have a mirror that I will revert back to, and you have to say 3 things that make you confident.

So I say 3 things. Or I write how I’m feeling and what I can do to change the situation if it’s something I can change. Or I get me time, where I just take myself away from everyone and I meditate and focus on what’s at hand and what I need to do in order to get out of that moment and continue with my life.

people that had the same mind frame or carried the same conviction as me, we always blame other people for what’s happening to us.

When I decided that I no longer wanted to be in that circle, because even though I was given a second chance, I was still getting in fights, I was still getting in trouble. And that was my bragging rights, like “listen you don’t wanna mess with me, I’ve been to jail and I don’t mind going back.” I got tired of that, I got tired of not having friends because nobody wanted to hang around Monique because if anything popped off, everyone knew how Monique was going to react. So I stepped away from the circle that I had and I gained all new friends who motivated me and encouraged me, with me never having to tell them about my past, and them never asking.

And when I would tell them, they would say “looking at you now, one would never guess.” They embraced me, they pushed me, so now when I’m going through something or I feel like I’m being challenged, they give me all the positive outlets on how to better handle the situation. So it went from conviction to conversion when I changed my circle.

We’ve talked about your past, we’ve talked about your passion and motivation behind Pamper Me Pretty, what I want you to do now is take a moment and brag about the things you have going on right now.

Society has this stigma they assign I am the outreach facilitator at my to women who have been behind church for the Women of Worth bars, they have this big scarlet let- outreach ministry, which is basically ter, at what point did you feel like the adult version of Pamper Me you had removed rightfully, your Pretty. I host an event every other scarlet letter? month at my church and the first When I changed my circle. Because one for the year was called “It’s every time, when I remained with your time to sparkle” and it was an

in-depth workshop on embracing your inner beauty. Although, self-esteem is established at 9. If your self-esteem wasn’t established at 9 and you’re in your 30s and your self-esteem is low you still need encouraging. So I am the Outreach Facilitator for W.O.W. at The Apostolic House of God. I am a youth counselor at our Summer Gang program, which gives me an opportunity to mentor boys and girls. I know it’s tougher to mentor boys but I can relate to them since I have 3 boys myself. We do a lot of outdoor activities, I take time out to talk to them and I share my story with them as well, to show them Ms. Mo’s goal is to make sure you don’t go down the same path that I did. I have Beauty Braids and Beyond, where I have a wonderful staff. It’s a full-service salon, I’ve been running that for 3 years and I have Pamper Me Pretty, which we’ve talked about and I have been running for 7 years and I’m also in the process of writing my book. It’s a tell-all of my life and how I had to walk into and face the reality of my past and move forward.

I know in life, no matter how positive we transform our lives, some people will try to discredit us based on our past decisions. How do you deal with who feel like you past disqualifies to teach someone to do better?

I am qualified, one because Christ qualified me. And two, because the person you see today is a walking testimony of a person I no longer am. How I conduct myself is enough qualification to see that I’m not “Nicky,” what I used to call myself.

So what people see online and the person they see in real life is qualification enough.

TRINA BRAXTON “Being a boss is more than just

being an owner, it’s having ownership of what you decide to you want to do, it’s about having a goal and following through with it.

”

I've watched your journey on reality tv, first tell me about that experience of putting your life in front of the world to see.

I have no regrets. And you know regrets is moot anyway. You can't take anything back, all you can do is learn from your experiences and keep it moving and make yourself a better you as you continue on your journey.

I admire you so much, I watched the journey of Bar Chix, it started with the mobile bars. And you went through so much drama... and continue to... ...but you stuck to it. Did you ever want to say "forget all this."

You always have that in the back of your mind "is it worth it, should I just quit or should I continue on." But when you have a passion, when you have a drive for something, there is nothing in the world that can make you quit. Quitting is more of a failure then forging on and then failing. Because failing is "Ok, I tried." So I would rather try and fail than quit and give up.

Explain to me the feeling of walking through Bar Chix. The drinks are amazing, the food is delicious. Tell me about that feeling of seeing your vision alive.

6 or 7 people and you're like "Wait a minute, where's everybody, where you at?" But then there are those nights when you're packed and there is a full house and the people are enjoying your food, they're enjoying your vision and you're like "they get it." And especially when someone tells you "I enjoyed your food, I enjoyed the drinks, I enjoyed the ambiance, I had great service." That's what makes me feel good.

One thing I appreciate is that you have pictures of your family, all on the walls. How important is family when it comes to pursuing your dreams and not quitting.

While I don't need the validation of my family, they are the embodiment of me. They are who made me who I am today.

It's certain nuances of this sister and that sister, or my mother or my father, or my brother.

Or that person telling me you can do it, or you can't do it.

This is wrong, this is right, I take each part of everything good, bad and ugly and different and I make it make me stronger.

Tell me about being a boss.

Being a boss is more than just being an owner, it's having ownership of what you decide to you want to do, it's about havBeing a restauranteur, sometimes ing a goal and following through you have your nights, where you with it. It's not about status, it's walk through and there are only definitively not about status.

Growing up in Ft Myers, you’d have to be living under a rock to not know who Vonzell, better known as Baby V, Solomon is. From watching her performing at numerous talent shows, it was truly a joy rooting for her competing on American Idol. Her talent was finally exposed to the rest of the world and they were able to get a glimpse of what we’ve all known all along, that Baby V is Star! Ford Entertainment Magazine’s writer Ladychelle reached out to Vonzell to get a little more insight on her journey, before and after American Idol.

I remember being in high school and watching you perform at a talent show and thinking THIS IS A STAR! Did you always know that you wanted to do music? How old were you?

Yes, I’ve always loved music, and at eleven years old I knew I wanted to be a professional singer.

Everyone across the globe remembers sitting at the edge of their seats voting for you on American Idol. How was that experience like?

Take us from the audition to that final night. The American Idol experience was such an amazing journey!

It really opens your eyes to what it takes to be a good performer.

Were you nervous performing on National television night after night or did it all come naturally?

Yes, I was nervous every performance, but I was so happy to be living my dreams in front of millions of people.

What was your mindset after leaving American Idol?

Though I was sad to leave the competition especially one week before the finale, there was a sense of relief from the stress and hectic schedule. Then I was like ok what’s my next step? So I started my own label and publishing company and went to work for myself.

You’ve been featured all across the board, nationally, on tv, websites, articles, how do you remain grounded?

I believe all the great things that my parents have instilled in me since I was a kid have really kept me grounded throughout my life and will continue to do so. If I ever get beside myself I know my parents, family and closest friends will always So instead of the traditional route bring me back to reality. I love that! of waiting for a deal, you created your own label. What drove you to Tell us some of the countries you’ve that decision? How was the process been able to visit. Where is your faand was it worth it? vorite part of the world?

I decided to create my own label I’ve been so blessed to be able to because I didn’t want to fit into travel the world, I’m not sure if I the mold of what people wanted have a favorite place yet-still got a me to be in order to have a deal. I lot more traveling to do. I’ve been to was like man forget that Ill do my China, Japan, Korea, Singapore, Enown thing, make the music I want gland, France & all over the Caribbeto make and I’m so happy I did. an Islands. In 2014 Ill performing in The road has definitely been dif- Japan again & Australia for the first ficult but its so rewarding to look time, I’m very excited about that! at my accomplishments and say wow “That’s All Me!” lol It moti- Let’s talk about “Half a Heart”, my vates me to reach higher heights. favorite video of all time, it was shot in London correct? Was that Tell us about Boonquisha!! How did song personal for you? Did you that character come to life? Do you have a hand in coming up with the come up with all the ideas for skits concept for the video? Who directyourself? ed the video?

Boonquisha is a character that Thanks, I’m so glad you liked it! came to life while I was on Amer- Half of A Heart is one of my favorican Idol. I would clown around ite songs that I’ve written, its very with the other contestants during personal to me. This song stemmed group numbers singing off key from a failed relationship & I acand talking/acting ghetto lol I tually was in tears while recording do come up with all the skits. it. The video was shot in London.

I was very hands-on with the conShould we expect to see Boonqui- cept, I already had the treatment sha in a movie in the near future? ready before I`d even found the Maybe. You gotta stay tuned to my director William Hadley. HowevYouTube channel to find out! Lol er, after meeting with Will the first time I knew he was going to take

it to the next level and really bring it to life. It was his idea to incorporate the bridge amongst other great ideas that I absolutely loved!

Describe your style for us in three words.

Sexy, Blingy, Fabulous Apart from just yourself, you also write for others. Is it more fun to write for yourself or other artists? Which is more rewarding?

They’re both equally rewarding, as a songwriter I’ve come to grips with the reality of every song I write might not be for me. Some may be better suited for other artists. Either way, having my creativity come to life is my ultimate goal and that’s very rewarding.

You also did a little bit of Broadway. How is that experience like?

Yes, I am, musical theatre has always been in my heart. I grew up in musical theatre so getting back to it has been a great experience and I love every second of it.

With such a busy career schedule, how do you make time for a personal life? Love?

I’m big on time management though it is very hard for me lol anyone that I chose to let into my intimate circle has to have the total understanding of who I am and what I do. That makes life much easier for me. When it comes to love, I believe what’s meant to be will be. I always make time for those I care about though.

Stay tuned in at www.VonzellMusic.com This article is a reprint from Vonzell’s 2014 Cover story in Ford Entertainment Magazine.

Ladychelle’s Dirty Laundry

I’m not one to selfpromote.

I’ll promote the heck out of the next person. But when it comes to me and my life, I always take the humble and private route. But me telling my story isn’t about self promotion. It’s about sharing my testimony in hopes that maybe one person may see themselves in my mirror and make better choices then I did.

It all started in April of 2004. I was coming out of a horrible situation.

I was a young single mother of a 7mth old baby boy....Actually, the story really started from when I was 19 and pregnant with my first child.

The Jehovah Witness church I was a part of shunned me (I was dis-fellowshipped) for having a child out of wedlock. When my child turned 3mths old, my parents threw me out of their home (for the second time in my life) for the same reason the church kicked me out for.

I drove to new York with my newborn in hopes of getting help from the child’s father up there. Those plans didn’t work and instead I found myself fleeing out of the Buffalo new York airport 4mths later.

At the airport is where I met my ex.

He had all the right words to say to comfort me in my current situation.

We were an instant couple. Not so much love at first sight, but I completely truly believed I needed him.

I felt like I had no one in my corner to help me. How would I ever make it in life with an infant and only a high school diploma? According to my mom, all hopes were lost for me. A month after meeting my ex, he legally adopted my child. And few days later that same month, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. When I told him the news he completely changed personalities on me. He grabbed me by

the neck and tried drowning me in the kitchen sink. That was how the abuse began. That was merely a month into our “relationship”. I immediately ran to my mom. Begged her to help me leave this man. Her advice was “you’re on your second child. You have no job, no money, and no education. No one is going to want you. You need to make the best out of this situation with this man.”

The “situation” with that man was downhill from that first moment.

The next 4 years of my life after that first moment was filled with nothing but the worst hellish experiences you can think of.

-my second son was born with a spot on his head where hair won’t grow because this man kicked me so hard while pregnant I fell thru a window. When he kicked me he hit the child while in my stomach.

-this man used to put books over my head to beat me so that it would not leave any bruises.

-I have a scar on my back from where this man tried to cut my spine because he felt like “If you’re crippled you can never leave me”.

-I have multiple scars on my wrist from where he tried taking my life and make it look like a suicide.

-I once ended up in a hospital overdosing on aspiring because he forced me to swallow a whole extra large bottle of Bayer aspirin by repeatedly punching me in my face. I was 8 months pregnant at the time.

-this man’s fetish was to choke me until I passed out so he could have his way with me physically. I had 2 children from those horrible episodes.

Those are just some of the events I have the courage to speak on so far from what I’ve been thru with this man. It’s been 5 years since I’ve left

him. Yet there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t look over my shoulders, thinking of this man’s promise to me: That when I die and leave this earth. It would be by his doing.

I tell my story not to seek attention.

But to testify that indeed “you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you”. I was able to leave that horrible situation.

One morning God granted me the strength to leave him and start over with my children. God also blessed me with the wisdom and clarity to understand that although some of my children were conceived through evil actions, they were HIS blessings. And there’s not a moment in my life where I doubt that. I share my story with only one hope.

That it touches at least one woman.

That she can look at my life and see that GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS. And He answers them in HIS time. And when He grants you that strength, it’s only half the battle. His spirit will accompany you each step of the way. But it’s ultimately physically YOU who has to do the work. And that work is never ending.