Folio Weekly 12/23/15

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

THIS WEEK // 12.23-29.15 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 39 COVER STORY FOLIO WEEKLY PRESENTS THE YEAR-END DRINK ISSUE 2015

101 DRINKS TO [15] TRY IN NORTHEAST FLORIDA BEFORE YOU DIE COMPILED BY JOSUE CRUZ, REBECCA GIBSON, CLAIRE GOFORTH, DENNIS HO, KEITH MARKS, GREG PARLIER, AND MATTHEW B. SHAW

FEATURED ARTICLES

THE COWARD’S WAY OUT

[10]

BY AG GANCARSKI Why the HRO Referendum is a BAD IDEA

HEREDITY & HERMENEUTICS

[14]

BY CHLOE HERRING The issue of an EXPANDED HRO is creating rifts between FAITH LEADERS with close familial ties

STAYING ON THE BEAT

[34]

BY DANIEL A. BROWN Allman Brothers Band founding member BUTCH TRUCKS makes a stop in Northeast Florida with his new band for a homecoming gig

COLUMNS + CALENDARS OUR PICKS MAIL BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS FIGHTIN’ WORDS JAG CITY NEWS

6 8 8 10 11 12

FILM MAGIC LANTERNS ARTS MUSIC LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR THE KNIFE

29 30 32 34 36 38

DINING BITE-SIZED LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE CROSSWORD/ASTRO NOTW/I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS

DISTRIBUTION

GET SOCIAL

ADVERTISING

FOLIOWEEKLY.COM

Bobby Pendexter / cosmicdistributions@gmail.com

PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor staylor@folioweekly.com / 904.260.9770 ext. 111

EDITORIAL

EDITOR • Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 WRITERS-AT-LARGE Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, John E. Citrone, Brenton Crozier, Josue Cruz, Julie Delegal, Jordan Ferrell, AG Gancarski, Claire Goforth, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Keith Marks, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, Jeff Meyers, Greg Parlier, Kara Pound, Chuck Shepherd VIDEOGRAPHERS • Doug Lewis, Ron Perry

DESIGN

ART DIRECTOR • Chaz Bäck cback@folioweekly.com / ext. 116 SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Dana Fasano dfasano@folioweekly.com / ext. 117 PHOTO EDITOR/GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Dennis Ho dho@folioweekly.com / ext. 122 DESIGN INTERN • Madison Gross design@folioweekly.com WEB CONTENT INTERN • Hudson Bäck

BUSINESS & ADMINISTRATION

BUSINESS MANAGER • Amanda Engebretsen fpiadmin@folioweekly.com / ext. 119 VICE PRESIDENT • T. Farrar Martin fmartin@folioweekly.com / ext.112

39 41 42 44 46 47

PUBLISHER Sam Taylor staylor@folioweekly.com / ext. 111 SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGERS Kathrin Lancelle klancelle@folioweekly.com ext. 124 • Downtown, Riverside, Northside, San Marco ACCOUNT MANAGERS Lauren McPherson laurenm@folioweekly.com ext. 130 • Mandarin, Orange Park Todd Rykaczewski toddr@folioweekly.com ext. 127 • Beaches, Ponte Vedra ASSOCIATE ACCOUNT MANAGERS CJ Allen callen@folioweekly.com / ext.140 Diana Allen diana@folioweekly.com / ext. 144 Minnda Fulmer mfulmer@folioweekly.com / ext.141 Madison Gross madisong@folioweekly.com / ext.145 Ky Kester kkester@folioweekly.com Ashley Malone ashleym@folioweekly.com / ext.143 Suzanne McLeod suzannem@folioweekly.com / ext.142

visit us online at

thefolioweekly

@folioweekly

@folioweekly

FOLIO WEEKLY IS PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY THROUGHOUT NORTHEAST FLORIDA. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication.

Folio Weekly welcomes editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date.

Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2015. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only.

One free issue copy per person.

Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly.

Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks.

Mobile App

For the best in Live Music, Arts, Sports, Food and Nightlife, download our DOJAX Mobile App by texting “Folio” to 77948

45 West Bay Street, Suite 103 Jacksonville, Florida 32202 PHONE 904.260.9770 FAX 904.260.9773 DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

HOOP! WHY, YES, THERE IT IS!

WED

WOMEN’S BASKETBALL CHALLENGE Let’s take a sec and get our

30

heads out of this trough of viscous, obsidian denial for a bit, shall we? The Jacksonville Jaguars effing suck. So why not support and celebrate other sporting events not held in a multimillion-dollar Babylonian bowl where our hearts are routinely stomped on like so many precious goslings? Pardon; we digress. But! To behold some boss b-ball action, get thee to the SEC/ AAC Women’s Basketball Challenge – a two-game event with South Florida vs. Mississippi State at 4:30 p.m. and University of Central Florida vs.

University of Florida at 7 p.m., Wednesday, Dec. 30, Veterans Memorial Arena, Downtown, $15; $10 ages 12 and under, ticketmaster.com.

OUR PICKS

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

DEEP SLICE

WHOLE WHEAT BREAD

SAT

26

Now well into their second decade, Whole Wheat Bread still have their feet planted squarely in the Northeast Florida punk rock scene. Their aggro blend of punk and rap has sent ’em touring with bands like The Bouncing Souls, MxPx, and Reel Big Fish and collaborating with hip-hop artists Lil Jon and Murs. And while the band has issued some notable releases, it’s their slammed-out live shows where these local heavyweights really stay true and deliver the goods. 8 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 26; openers Askmeificare and Head Creeps, Jack Rabbits, San Marco, $8 advance; $10 day of, jaxlive.com.

LET IT BE HERD

DONNA THE BUFFALO

The pride of Trumansburg, New York, since 1989 Donna the Buffalo has been giving us a mix of rock, folk, country, and even Zydeco, the kind of synthesis that puts them snugly in the Jam/Americana/Jamericana (patent pending) scene. Need more proof? Their devoted (rabid) followers call themselves The Herd. Blech. However, before you fire off the hippie dispeller (aka “soap”), know that the band sets itself apart from the noodle-rich riffage that plagues certain peers with solid songwriting and undeniable skill. 8 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $22 (SRO), pvconcerthall.com.

WED

30 SAT

COMEDY

26

SHAUN JONES

Work off those post-Christmas Day resentments (effing socks again?), annually recurring family dysfunctions, and possible egg-nog-poisoning with the comedic stylings of funnyman Shaun Jones. A veteran of BET’s Comic View and Starz 1st Amendment Standup, Jones appeared in ’03’s Shade, a cardshark crime flick costarring Gabriel Byrne, Jamie Foxx and Sylvester Stallone (star of Rambos I-V!). 8 and 10 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 26; 8 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 29 and Wednesday, Dec. 30, The Comedy Zone, Mandarin, $12-$15, comedyzone.com.

BOXING DAY, PUNKER! FISTMAS

SAT

26

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

So it’s the day after Christmas, 24 hours lousy with poignancy, the living room floor littered with wrapping paper, your previous night’s decision to eat an ornament confirming your suspicions that you are, in fact, an alcoholic. Don’t let these feelings of wretchedness overpower you. Come fellowship at the beer-drenched annual fête known as Fistmas, featuring fierce rock from Thee Harmonious Fists, Golden Pelicans (pictured), Party Flag, The Mold, and Duval Spit. 8 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 26, rain dogs., Riverside, $10.

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

THE MAIL Folio Weekly feature are excellent! Thanks.

Sincerely, Bill Ectric via email

THANKS FOR SPEAKING UP

RE: “THE COST OF SILENCE,” BY CLAIRE GOFORTH, DEC. 16 Just want to say thank you for the story on reproductive rights. I appreciate the local angle.

I think it is extremely important to talk about the attacks on repro rights in Jax and in Florida. I don’t think the public majority realizes this is happening.

Thanks for putting this out there, Shelby via email

THANKS FOR BEING WEIRD

RE: “SHADES OF GREY: FOLIO/PERVERSION FICTION FEATURE,” DEC. 9 I applaud Folio Weekly for the unusual decision to run works of fiction as a feature story. Some of your readers may not know that many classic turn-of-the-century novels by Charles Dickens, Jack London, Henry James, Leo Tolstoy, and others were originally published in serial form over the course of several issues of magazines like the Saturday Evening Post, Atlantic Monthly, Harper’s, and Scribner’s Monthly. More to the point of your feature, countless short stories we now find in anthologies first appeared in those and other magazines. And let me add, most important of all, the stories and accompanying illustrations in your LEND YOUR VOICE If you’d like to respond to something you read in the pages of Folio Weekly, please send an email (with your name, address, and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com, visit us at folioweekly.com, or follow us on Twitter or Facebook (@folioweekly) and join the conversation.

CONTRIBUTORS SUSAN COOPER EASTMAN S ““Islama-Phobicshop” pg. 12

S Susan Cooper Eastman, who’s been writing for Folio Weekly since 2004, has earned numerous awards for both her news si stories and long-form journalism. Eastman’s 2014 FW story, st “The Last Days of Daniel Linsinbegler,” about a mentally ill il 19-year-old who died after spending 10 days in solitary confi nement in the Clay County Jail, won first place honors c for fo Best Investigative Reporting from the Association of Alternative Newsmedia. Aside from her work for FW, Eastman A has h written for the Chicago Tribune, Oakland Press, Denver Post, P and Huffington Post, among other publications. Her story this th week “Islama-Phobicshop,” is about JSO’s investigation into in who Photoshopped the head of a JFRD paramedic of Middle Eastern descent onto the body of a terrorist. A longtime M Jacksonville resident, Eastman lives in the Riverside-Avondale Ja historic district with her dog, Petunia. h

BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BOUQUETS TO RON DeSANTIS The Ponte Vedra Beach U.S. Rep. (R, Sixth District) joined 10 other Florida representatives and 30 U.S. representatives in signing a letter to the Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, a Department of the Interior agency, requesting a halt to permitting and review process for potential seismic testing in the Atlantic Ocean, in order to further understand the impacts, economic to ecological, caused by seismic airgun testing — which is used by Big Oil to determine the best spots to drill for oil on the ocean floor.

BOUQUETS TO FARAH & FARAH The personal injury law firm has put a program in place to pay for your cab rides on New Year’s Eve. Visit keepjaxsafe.org and plug in your contact info for a reservation (first-come, first-served) for a free ride home.

They’ll notify you by text and/or email on New Year’s Eve with a number to call for your cab ride. Or, on New Year’s Eve, call (904) 396-5555 and they’ll send a cab.

BRICKBATS TO BILL GULLIFORD Last Wednesday, the Jacksonville City Councilmember for District 13 (Atlantic, Neptune and Jax beaches, Holiday Harbor and Isle of Palms) filed legislation that would allow a majority to decide whether to expand the city’s Human Rights Ordinance to include protections for LGBT people (a minority group) in the form of a referendum, or popular vote.

KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A PROVERBIAL BRICKBAT? Send your submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Submissions should be a maxium of 50 words and directed toward a person, place, or topic of local interest.

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

FIGHTIN’ WORDS

Why the HRO Referendum is a BAD IDEA

THE

COWARD’S WAY OUT

NEWS GALORE ON THE HRO EXPANSION front, with competing bills from competing councilmen being the first two official measures of the 2016 legislative cycle of the Jacksonville City Council.

The first, on Wednesday, Dec. 16 — just a day after the last Community Conversation — was from Councilman Bill Gulliford.

“As a courtesy, I waited until after Mayor [Lenny] Curry’s final community conversation event on this topic before acting,” Gulliford wrote in a statement that cited “irreconcilable differences between both sides of this issue which now appear to be more intractable than before.”

“During the time I have spent on the City Council, I have never seen an issue that brings out more passion and responses than this one. In 2012, we were overwhelmed with emails, letters, calls and constituent visits.

This time, they are starting out with even a stronger response from both sides, even without any legislation being considered as of yet,” Gulliford noted.

It’s as if he’s unaware of why there’s such a strong response. Then again, this is the same Council that had its equivalent of the Lincoln/ Douglas debates over the right to back a car into a driveway, so we shouldn’t be surprised.

Gulliford then undermined the very point of Council, which theoretically should feel as empowered to change the Charter to include the LGBT community as it does authorizing a capital improvement budget: “Is it right that as few as 10 people could decide the outcome of this very contentious issue without knowing the sentiment of the majority of citizens? In short, with the depth of participation already demonstrated, should citizens have a say on this beyond just public forums? Or, do we vote on it as councilmembers somewhat influenced by our conscience, personal bias or intense lobbying?”

Gulliford then said he has already “received numerous emails requesting a referendum from citizens of Jacksonville.”

Indeed, those emails. Most of them have church-driven talking points, from what I’ve seen. And the vast majority of them speak to a fundamental ignorance of what the law would do: extend protections to the LGBT community in housing, employment, and public accommodations. The emails throw around phrases like “Sodom and Gomorrah” and “bathroom bill,” and speak to a fundamental failure of local schools to teach basic reading comprehension.

Is that too honest? Is it wrong to say that most of those in opposition start from a baseline of having no clue what they’re actually talking about, relative to the modest aims of this movement? The 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

opposition’s blissful ignorance of the real world consequences of discrimination; their framing of sexuality as a consumer choice; their inability to see that even advocates of an expanded HRO are happy to include exemptions for churches, small businesses, and landlords renting out apartments on their residential properties: These are attempts to confuse the issue.

Meanwhile, on the heels of Gulliford’s bill, Councilman Tommy Hazouri filed a bill on Thursday to expand the HRO to cover the LGBT community.

The Hazouri bill would expand equal protections under the law, including housing and employment, as well as public accommodations, to people regardless of sexual orientation (real or perceived), gender identity, or gender expression.

In filing the bill, Hazouri’s office issued a statement decrying Gulliford’s bill, saying that a “referendum would lead to months and months of hateful rhetoric that would fully divide our city. Outside groups on both sides would come in with staff, and money would pour in from outside sources.”

“All this would do is divide and cause ruin to a city that [Hazouri] grew up in, loves, and has served in,” the statement continued.

“Like the majority of other major cities in the country that have put this issue behind them, that’s what you want to do … as it should have been done four years ago,” the statement concluded.

The issue isn’t as simple as Republican vs Democrat. Chamber Republicans are on board; certain Democrats will not be, and will push for the referendum option.

And that begs the question: Why in the hell run for office if you’re too gutless to vote on the issues of the day?

If you believe in prejudice, believe in homophobia, believe that those who are not heterosexual should face more pressures and the right to encounter bias that materially affects their lives, then by all means say so.

Don’t hide behind that “Oh, it’s the will of the people” bit.

The Civil Rights Act of 1964 was not a referendum. It couldn’t have been. And implementation of that was not easy or clean, but it was the right thing to do.

If you lack the guts to cast an up-anddown vote because your biases can’t be revealed to the public discourse, then you are the problem. Not the LGBT community, which seeks only the same protections to which other minorities are entitled.

A.G. Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski

JAGCITY

NOW

Jags’ HOPES CRUSHED for another year

WHAT’S

L

istening to the national media before the Atlanta game, it was hard not to feel a little bit giddy.

The Jaguars, many folks predicted, would beat Matt Ryan and his Falcons with ease. The Atlanta Falcons, unfortunately, didn’t get the memo.

And the way they handled their business underscored why the Jaguars are a 5-9 team.

The first drive was an augury: Atlanta got the ball first, and drove 80 yards down the field in 8 plays and 4:12, pushed by 44 yards from Julio Jones and FSU product Devonta Freeman knocking over the pylon as he crashed into the end zone on a 5-yard run. Matt Ryan: six for six on the drive.

The second quarter featured a second efficient Ryan drive, culminating in an 11-yard strike to – Jones, putting Atlanta up 14 to 3.

Falcons’ defense, as each team saw the shadows lengthen on the playing field, and their playoff hopes cloaked in encroaching darkness.

The Falcons drove to the 15, and made a field goal, putting them up by 3. The Jags could do nothing with the ball, and punted it back to Atlanta with 8:26 left. From there, Atlanta killed almost 7 minutes, and Shayne Graham looped in a 46-yard kick with 1:46 to go.

The Jaguars could win with a touchdown … and an extra point, not a given with Jason Myers still handling the kicking duties.

Those who were waiting for the Falcons to selfdestruct like they did a week before in Charlotte began to realize that wasn’t going to happen.

After trading punts, Jacksonville had the ball inside its own 20 with 1:42 left in the half.

Bortles, in 2-minute mode, had the offense on the move against a soft Falcons zone, until throwing one of those classic poorly timed interceptions in the end zone. The interception, returned to the Jacksonville 14, set up a Falcons field goal, putting Atlanta up 17 to 3.

The Jaguars, for a second week in a row, needed some magic in the final 30 minutes.

And, for a moment, they were getting it, chunk play by chunk play, on a 9-play, 4:20-drive that covered 80 yards and cut the Falcons’ lead in half, ending with a Bortles bootleg for the touchdown.

Then Ryan served up a pick to Paul Posluszny, giving Jacksonville the ball inside the 50 and all the momentum in the world, as Bortles moved the ball down the field in a drive that culminated with a strike to Allen Robinson, tying the game up at 17, which was where it stood at the end.

Jacksonville punted the ball back in short order, a three and out forced by an aggressive

The drive, the game, the season: dead and buried, in a potter’s grave, lying next to so many others of recent vintage. The upside? This one died around Christmas time, not Halloween.

The Jaguars fell to 5-9, and all talk of an AFC South title for the Black & Teal was quelled.

After the game, Head Coach Gus Bradley talked about the game that got away, sealing Jacksonville’s fifth straight losing season.

Bradley’s coachspeak, this time around, was tempered with a bit more resignation than earlier discussions after other losses. For those waiting for the happy talk buzz phrases, you didn’t hear them at first. And at the end of some of his answers, there was an upward lift in his voice, which suggested uncertainty.

“This team’s spirit, and this team’s will, you can count on that,” Bradley said about the hot start of the second half.

“We just didn’t execute well in the fourth quarter.”

“I don’t want our team to get into what-ifs; I want our team to get into what’s now.”

Now, of course, is 5-9.

AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

COMMUNITY C OMMUNIT OM NITY N NEWS EWS

ISLAMA-PHOBICSHOP Someone Photoshopped the head of a JFRD PARAMEDIC onto the body of A TERRORIST

THE IMAGE IS CRUDELY RENDERED AND Islamaphobic with an elbow to the ribs and ha, ha, ha. As an attempt at humor, whoever superimposed the head of Jacksonville Fire & Rescue Department firefighter paramedic Jeffrey Abboud onto an image of a man dressed in a military jacket, with a full beard encircling his face and his head wrapped in a black scarf, certainly failed. led.

In the image, it appears that Abboud is holding a human man skull topped with a Santa ta Claus hat, with a cartoon n thought bubble above it that reads, “Jingle BOMBS Jingle ingle BOMBS!!!”

The reference is to comedian Jeff Dunham and his skeletal ventriloquistt dummy, “Achmed the Dead Terrorist.”

Jacksonville’s Fire & Rescue Department turned rned over the main computerr at its Myrtle Avenue firee station to the Jacksonville ille Sheriff ’s Office on Saturday, rday, after firefighters discovered ered someone had replaced the computer’s screensaver with the image of Abboud oud — who is of Middle Eastern descentt — doctored to look like a terrorist.

JFRD spokesperson Tom Francis says JSO IT investigators will determine who posted the image and when it was discovered and reported. He says that the department’s compliance division, in charge of upholding department standards, will also open an investigation.

The slur is timely in its fear-mongering, coming after the Paris bombings and the massacre in San Bernardino put Americans on edge, and the bombastic presidential candidate Donald Trump saying he’ll make Muslims inside America carry IDs and then ban any more from entering our borders.

It’s ugly. In Philadelphia, a pig’s head was thrown at a mosque. A shop owner in Queens was beaten. Someone threw a large rock through the dining room window of the home of a Muslim family who’d recently moved to Plano, Texas.

Here in Jacksonville, Francis says it is a mistake to see anything systemic or endemic to the fire department in the screensaver. “We do not condone this kind of behavior,” he says.

Francis contacted Folio Weekly to say that Abboud did not file the complaint and “took no offense to the image.” Francis cautioned that a great deal of circumspection would go into the department’s handling of the matter.

Jacksonville Association of Firefighters IAFF Local 122 union spokesperson Randy Wyse says he believed that the investigation would show no malice was intended, though Wyse concedes the workplace might not be the right locale for such fun. Some at the fire department question if the act was offensive since the targeted firefighter said he didn’t take offense. “If a tree falls in the forest (and no one heard it),” explains Wyse. To be offensive, it has to offend somebody, he says.

However, District Chief and Jacksonville Brotherhood of Firefighters member Terrance 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

Jones says when someone of Middle Eastern descent is compared to terrorists, it’s not funny. It’s not funny when someone makes a racist, sexist or homophobic joke, either, he says. And it’s pretty typical of someone making that sort of joke to turn to someone somehow related to that demographic and say, “I’m just kidding. You’re not offended, are you?”

It’s a loaded question, Jones says. If you say yes, you’ll be ostracized, seen as humorless, a poor spirit not able to hang with the guys, because they’ll have to walk on eggshells.

“They know exactly what they’re doing. They need to let everyone know their place. I’ve found that it’s a game white men play.”

“This guy is a rookie. He wants to assimilate, be accepted, be respected,” Jones says. With only a few weeks at the Myrtle Avenue station, there’s no way his fellow firefighters knew him well enough to know whether he’d be offended or not, Jones says, and that’s missing the point. It was more about singling him out and sterotyping his culture and emphasizing his difference from the majority white male Anglo norm.

Jones asks if it would seem funny if it was Sam Mousa’s head superimposed onto the image. Mousa is second in command in the Curry administration and of Middle Eastern background. “No,” says Jones. “Would it be funny if it was Shad Khan?” Khan owns the Jacksonville Jaguars and is a Muslim of Arabic descent. “No,” says Jones.

Although there is some minimizing of the act already by the union and the city, Jones says it clearly violates city standards and violates hazing prohibitions. Because of that, he says, the person who created it, as well as anyone who viewed the image and didn’t report it, should be disciplined.

“Suppose a Muslim woman was at the fire station for some reason and she saw that image on the station computer?” Jones asks. “You are at work. We are professionals.”

Accusations of intolerance and discrimination against JFRD are nothing new.

The city of Jacksonville is currently fighting six federal lawsuits involving promotions and hiring of black firefighters, including one in which the U.S. Department of Justice is a plaintiff. After a group of black firefighters was promoted, one station displayed a sign reading, “Welcome to the Plantation.” In

2006, the city launched an investigation when two black firefighters found nooses dangling on their lockers. The firefighters had been in discussions with the city over discrimination, and they took the nooses as a warning, a reference to the lynching of black men during the Jim Crow era.

When one of the firefighters refused to take a lie detector test and the other failed a test (as did a white firefighter who paid for his own test to prove he’d not lied), critics said it proved the firefighters had planted

“Suppose a MUSLIM WOMAN was at the fire station for some reason and she saw that image on the station computer?” asks Terrance Jones, District Chief and Jacksonville Brotherhood of Firefighters member.

“You are at work.

WE ARE PROFESSIONALS.” the nooses themselves. That’s become the story. Pushed out of mind are the conclusions of a task force of a culture where racial discrimination is widespread. In 2014, a group of black firefighters nearing retirement told Folio Weekly about the racial slurs and ill treatment they’d faced.

The Jingle Bomber doesn’t need to be a sign of institutional racism or intolerance to still point to the need for change, says Division Chief of Rescue Ivan Mote, who in the past has been in charge of the department’s compliance division. Mote was recently voted vice president of The Jacksonville Brotherhood of Firefighters.

The organization is a party in a federal case over discrimination in promotions. He says such imagery is a problem and could create a hostile work environment in violation of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. “We’re not adolescents,” he says. “I don’t think it’s an institutional problem. I think it’s a problem of individuals who must do whatever they want to do. Until they actually discipline someone and make it clear that such behavior is wrong ... What we have is a department where the focus is on technical job skills and not on leadership.” Mote echoes criticism of promotions based on written test scores and suggested institutional changes in how leaders were trained would bring about a change in the work environment and an increased respect for differences within the force. “It can be taught,” he says.

Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

COMMUNITY C COMMUNI OMMUN NITY NEW NEWS WS

HEREDITY & HERMENEUTICS The issue of an EXPANDED HRO is creating rifts between FAITH LEADERS with close familial ties IT WAS A LITTLE MORE THAN AN HOUR INTO the second of Mayor Lenny Curry’s community conversations — this one, called “Religious Freedoms, Thoughts and Beliefs,” was held on Dec. 3 at Edward Waters College — when Pastor Ronnie Edwards of Blessed Hope Missionary Baptist Church expressed his disdain for the direction of the discourse. “[We’re] beating a dead horse. We keep going back to love as if we don’t love,” he said.

“My God doesn’t change.”

Audience members, sitting on bleachers in Adams-Jenkins Sports & Music Complex, responded with a synchronized “Amen.”

The “Amens,” just short of the familiar call-and-response (along with the fan-waving) gave the room an ecclesial feel. But, in a gymnasium and with an audience made up of both white and black people, it was certainly a far cry from the church proceedings that would carry on as usual a few days later.

The issue of expanding Jacksonville’s Human Rights Ordinance to include protections for LGBT individuals has brought people together. But it has also created some rifts, locally, both between and among faith leaders and the churches they represent.

When the community discussion was over for the evening, people flooded onto the hardwood floors of the basketball court.

Edwards, who inspired a loud outcry after asserting “homosexuality is a choice,” was met with hugs and hearty handshakes. People of all races approached him with smiles, thanking him for his service and for speaking on their behalf.

The response to one of his comments, in particular, stood out. When asked how he felt about LGBT people being discriminated against just as blacks had been during the Jim Crow era, Edwards shot back, saying the “plight of black people is not in the same universe as the plight of LGBT.” Many of the people sitting on the bleachers applauded enthusiastically.

Edwards’ insistence that local laws need not include protections for LGBT people, however, is not representative of every black pastor in Jacksonville.

In November, Pastor R.L. Gundy, of Mount Sinai Baptist Church, caused a media frenzy when he became an outspoken advocate for LGBT rights.

Edwards and Gundy were on the same page when changes to the HRO were proposed back in 2012. Since then, ideas about love and marriage have largely shifted, culminating in June when the Supreme Court granted same-sex couples the right to marry.

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

Pastor R.L. Gundy, seen here in his Mount Sinai Baptist Church office, has become an outspoken advocate for LGBT rights.

With the landmark decision, Gundy abandoned efforts to ban same-sex marriage.

Gundy said when LGBT people feel disparaged by the church, it creates a climate that is not conducive to his work as a pastor. Despite claims otherwise, Gundy said he considers any resistance to grant a marginalized community protection from discrimination to be hate.

“If I can’t minister to the people in church and they’re running away because they feel like the church is condemning them, I’m not doing ministry. I’m doing hate,” Gundy said.

FAMILIAL DIFFERENCES

EDWARDS IS ONE OF JACKSONVILLE’S MANY religious leaders who argue that faith-based communities that do not support an inclusive HRO do, in fact, love LGBT people. It was one of his most recited talking points as a panel member during the community conversation.

Edwards declined to comment about Pastor Gundy’s change of heart, however, and was open only to saying he disagreed with Gundy, but wanted to keep his personal opinions private.

Gundy and Edwards are related by marriage, their families intertwined by law, their church membership at Mount Sinai and a deep involvement in the ministry.

Gundy, however, wasn’t sworn to silence.

“Ronnie Edwards is out of this church,” Gundy told Folio Weekly.

“Unfortunately, when he was at the meeting, and I walked in and I saw him, I didn’t know he was going to be there doing that,” Gundy said. “I said, ‘Well, it looks like he didn’t want to call a brother and talk to me because I’m his father in the ministry.’ So I said, ‘He [is] out of his league’ and he was.”

By changing his stance on the HRO, though, it may be Pastor R.L. Gundy who is out of his league, according to some members of black churches who attended the community meeting.

“I would probably be looking for another church,” said one woman in the audience who’d been asked what she’d do if her pastor supported an inclusive HRO. “He’s entitled to change his mind but his parishioners don’t have to stay.”

Earlier this month, a group of 19 African-American pastors called for a public referendum on the issue of an expanded HRO.

FOLLOWING HIS LEAD

On Sunday morning at Mt. Sinai, the parking lot was full. Inside the sanctuary, red and green Christmas ribbons adorned wooden pillars as light shined through windows that reached to the ceiling.

Gundy’s parishioners did not seem phased by his stance on the HRO. One woman, a member of Mount Sinai for more than 70 years, said Gundy opened discussions about it during a Bible study.

“We should not discriminate. If that was the case, we wouldn’t be where we are,” she said.

The woman joined others, like Percy Clarett, in full support of Gundy’s leadership and ideology.

“One thing he really wants is equal opportunity for people to live where they want to live. I think that’s really good. I think no matter who you are, you should be able to live where you want to live,” Clarett said. “He encourages us to love everybody.”

In fact, no one expressed opposition.

Robert Lewis, a church deacon, said he has the utmost respect for Gundy.

“He ’bout treating humans like they supposed to be treated. He has an inner love.

He’s very protective of people. I just got a lot of respect for him,” Lewis said. “I can’t speak for what other churches do, but when it comes to him, he shows compassion to everybody.”

Today, Gundy and Edwards still agree on at least one thing: The LGBT community’s struggle for civil protections is not the Civil Rights movement.

“It’s different. My ancestors came here as slaves,” said Gundy.

Though he is adamant that they are two different battles, Gundy, who calls himself a “social justice preacher,” said the fight for LGBT rights is not so far apart from the Civil Rights Movement that there is no common ground.

“There is similarities when it comes to discrimination,” he says.

Gundy says he instructs his congregation from the Bible, based on his personal convictions of how Christians are called to live.

“I trained them on the Biblical principles of love, non-discrimination and the fact that some people who are gay are born that way,” Gundy said.

He says he still has a huge issue with the church, which he said “is yet to repent from the sin of segregation, discrimination, disenfranchisement.”

“I can’t blame the church or evangelicals for having a Biblical stance because I have mine.

But I can blame them when they don’t show the love imperative, which is the moral-ethical piece,” Gundy said. “We can’t continue to carry the name of Christianity and not carry the moral imperative of love. We can’t do that.”

Chloe Herring mail@folioweekly.com

in this issue

[PG. 16] 101 DRINKS YOU HAVE TO TRY IN NORTHEAST FLORIDA BEFORE YOU DIE [PG. 22] WOMEN OF CRAFT COCKTAILS [PG. 24] DRINK 2015 DIRECTORY contributing writers

Josué Cruz, Rebecca Gibson, Claire Goforth, Dennis Ho, Keith Marks, Greg Parlier, and Matthew B. Shaw

A

quotation from famed literary drunk Ernest Hemingway had a kind of special resonance with our staff as we prepared the feature to wrap up the year. “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk,” the king of compositional machismo once slurred. So, after tasting more than 100* drinks and taking copious notes at watering holes and restaurants in all six Northeast Florida counties that make up Folio Weekly’s distribution footprint, we had no other choice but to heed the words of Papa Hemmingway. So we sat in front of our typewriters (laptops) and bled.

OK, it was less dramatic than that.

In actuality, we’re happy to report that preparing this feature was one of the most enjoyable experiences we’ve had in quite some time. We got to sample many delicious adult beverages, experience the great variety that each sub-area of the region has to offer, and interact with some radical and friendly bartenders and bar lies.

The list we now offer is based on recommendations from patrons, bar managers, bartenders — and in the cases of a few dives, the establishments’ salty dog regulars.

These are the drinks to try in Northeast Florida before you die. Get to work!

Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

A new addition to the Urban Core’s revitalized Brooklyn neighborhood, Sbraga & Co. has a creative menu of cocktails, including the tequila shrub (pictured).

like when Wayne Campbell learns Cantonese to impress his Babe-raham Lincoln.

BEACHES AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

BRETT’S RUM PUNCH AT BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ Containing no fewer than five distinct rums, this fruity cocktail is a punch in more ways than one.

The Fernandina Beach mainstay’s signature drink is everything you’d expect from an island destination: bright, tropical and intoxicating.

PROSECO NATALE AT CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO Fans of wine-based cocktails are in for a treat: The Proseco Natale, found only at Italian eatery Ciao in Fernandina Beach, is made with Proseco, elderflower essence, a dash of pear juice and a splash of citrus. Top it with a sprinkle of basil and you end up with something distinctively herbaceous.

PETE’S CABLE CAR AT THE SALTY PELICAN Of the many drinks on The Salty Pelican’s menu, none may be more signature than Pete’s Cable Car, their sweet-and-sour iteration of the Sidecar.

Like any good drink found on the island, this one is spiked with rum and Grand Marnier and sports a sugar rim.

AVONDALE/ORTEGA

ANYTHING COLD AT HARPOON LOUIE’S A great deal of Northeast Florida’s charm is in its natural beauty. Sipping a cold beer on a hot day, gazing at one of the area’s lovely waterways from Harpoon Louie’s dock, is easily one of the most scenic beers you’ll ever drink. Sip and chill at your leisure.

CRUCIAL TAUNT AT RESTAURANT ORSAY Named after the fictional band fronted by Tia Carrere’s character in Wayne’s World, Cassandra (schwing!), the Crucial Taunt – Flor de cana rum, housemade Thai chili-infused Aperol, pineappleginger shrub (a drinking vinegar), and lime juice – is garnished with a lime wedge and Thai-chili pepper, making for a spicy kick on the back end of a drink that’s perfectly sweet – much 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

SMOKE ON THE RYE AT AZUREA ONE OCEAN RESORT ATLANTIC BEACH • Danny Welsh, Azurea One Ocean bartender and creator of the Smoke in the Rye, captured the taste of glamping. Rugged and refined at once, this mixture of Redemption rye whiskey, cardamom bitters and a bourbon-apple reduction is topped off with a toasted lemon twist.

The key to this smoky sensation is the scotch rinse given to the glass prior introducing the cocktail.

THE HOT JORGE AT BO’S CLUB (AKA BO’S CORAL REEF) JAX BEACH • After 52 years, this beaches’ institution has got cocktails on lock. This in-house creation by one of their own combines muddled jalapeno and mint with watermelon vodka and a sugar rim. It’s at once hot, sweet and delicious.

Just like that tall drink of water across the bar.

CULHANE’S SIGNATURE IRISH COFFEE AT CULHANE’S IRISH PUB ATLANTIC BEACH • The perfect drink for a nice, cool winter day, this drink, which originated in Shannon, Ireland, is carried year-round at the famed Culhane’s Irish Pub. The cream topper, whipped up fresh for every drink, shows just how much the team at Culhane’s cares that you are warm and happy. It’s the peak of the fresh coffee, 2 Gingers Irish Whiskey and a tad of brown sugar.

A FLIGHT AT ENGINE 15 JAX BEACH • Some microbreweries are just too damn good to choose only one delectable brew … so make your life easier and have a flight (or two). We love this graduation of J-ville to Route 90 Rye Pale Ale to Woody Sack with a solid Straight Thirty Weight Extra Stout finish. Copy it or create your own.

WATERMELON BLISS AT FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR NEPTUNE BEACH • The team over at Flying Iguana start with Maestro Dobel reposado tequila, infuse it in-house with jalapeños, then add muddled watermelon, cucumber and agave, making the Watermelon Bliss delightfully light and easy to imbibe. This drink appeals to both

the avid tequila drinker and those still recovering from some decade-old tequila experience.

CUCUMBER DILL LIME AIDE AT FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB ATLANTIC BEACH • Served only during Sunday brunch (or if you know who to ask), this refreshing cocktail is a perfect candidate for a hair of the dog remedy. Cucumber vodka, fresh cucumber and lime juice and chopped dill go down quite easily when the eyes are still a tad blurry from a long night. The key to this beauty is the addition of watermelon ice cubes. Yep. Watermelon ice cubes.

THE ROCKET BOMB AT GINGER’S PLACE JAX BEACH • It’s like this: Cruising on your bike around the beach on the Fourth of July, it suddenly occurs to you. What better way to say “I Love You, ’Merica” than with a beer-mugsize shot at Ginger’s Place? Smirnoff Ice with a shot glass full of Blue Curaçao and raspberry vodka dropped inside. Top it off with a touch of grenadine and the Rocket Bomb is a mug of red, white and blue with a “F*ck yeah” salute.

QUETZALCOATL AT GREEN ROOM BREWING JAX BEACH • When someone says, “It’s our end-of-the-world beer,” you are essentially obligated to drink one (or several, as long as the limited release lasts — or as long as the Earth continues to spin). Named for a Mesoamerican deity, this imperial red with notes of cassava root, chocolate, poblano and serrano peppers, is highoctane yet shockingly easy to drink.

HOPSLINGER AT HOPTINGER BIER GARDEN & SAUSAGE HOUSE JAX BEACH • With 62 taps, beer is a safe bet at this Jax Beach bar, curiously referred to as a “biergarden” though it’s not outdoors and lacks much in the way of flora. That being said, the Hopslinger – St. Augustine Gin, Citrus, maple, cherry bitters, Grand Marnier, and a splash of soda – is a treat for any adventurous fauna looking to venture just outside their Bavarian boundaries.

THE MACALLAN RARE CASK AT ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR NEPTUNE BEACH • You might not always drink the finest single malt, but when you do, it should be The

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>

DOWNTOWN

MARGARITA AT BURRITO GALLERY

Everybody knows that there ain’t no party like a tequila party! Camarena Silver 100 percent agave tequila, organic orange liqueur and margarita mix make the drink’s hue deceptively pale. But don’t be fooled: Burrito Gallery’s house margarita is no light-handed pour. They’re so delicious, BG mixes them up by the kegful to meet the demand.

RIVERSIDE

FLIGHTS AT ALEWIFE CRAFT BEER BOTTLESHOP & TASTING ROOM

Alewife’s carefully selected flights are highly recommended for all beer drinkers – whether you’re an aficionado or first-time sipper. Can’t decide on what to have? Aim for their flight and get a taste of their favorites, like Smoked Peach Short Weisse, Lagunitas Born Yesterday, Avery’s Old Jubilation, and Founders Breakfast Stout.

DOWNTOWN

CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE AT THE CANDY APPLE CAFÉ Not an oven-baked item, this dreamy, creamy concoction from the brilliant confectioners at Sweet Pete’s is a velvety treat. Just one sip of Don Q rum with peanut butter almond milk, a delectable drizzle of housemade sea-salt caramel, Godiva chocolate liqueur and a tasty chocolate coin will transport you to a faraway, magical place.

RIVERSIDE

DUSTY BOOT AT BLACK SHEEP

Black Sheep is known for changing the menu to keep things seasonally fresh, but one of the constants at this Five Points restaurant has been the Dusty Boot, a tangy combination of Buffalo Trace bourbon, Jerry Thomas bitters and the juices of lemon and lime. You’ll know it when you see it: The drink’s signature feature is the rim of smoked sea salt and cracked black pepper.

JAX BEACH

WHAT THE DICKENS? AT FLASK & CANNON

This ingenious cocktail serves as a perfect companion for watching that extremely popular period piece on PBS. The What the Dickens? is a well-balanced combination of cognac, pineapple-infused rum, Velvet Falernum, bitters and fresh passionfruit syrup. The initial taste acquiesces to the sugar cane in the rum, but it remains well in place, as it should. This is Victorian decorum in a glass.

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

Hunter, and pool for a single quarter (take that, inflation) – it’s ever so important to stay hydrated.

A tall boy will quench your undying thirst for American-style lager while at the same time, the unrelenting smoke will give your lungs the workout of a lifetime. Hey … it’s a dive … get over it.

<<< FROM PREVIOUS Macallan Rare Cask at Island Girl. Drink it neat or on the rock – true connoisseurs know luxury Highland Scotch is best served over a single ice ball.

BASIL GRAPEFRUIT MARTINI AT MEZZA RESTAURANT NEPTUNE BEACH • Here is a well-dressed Southerner who knows how to keep cool on a humid afternoon. No, not the bartender. The actual drink itself. Fresh basil, simple syrup, Square basil vodka and grapefruit juice join together in this rich martini. Keep cool and stay out of the sun with a few of these at Mezza.

THE BUTTERFINGER MARTINI AT OCEAN 60 ATLANTIC BEACH • When the waiter brings the post-dinner dessert menu at Ocean 60, look past the cakes and custards and get your fix from the Butterfinger Martini. This visually appealing drink mixes vanilla vodka, white Godiva chocolate, Frangelico, Half & Half and crushed Butterfinger – a must-try masterpiece.

TALL BUDWEISER AT PETE’S BAR NEPTUNE BEACH • With all the fun activities at Pete’s – table tennis, bumper pool, Big Buck Award-winning bartender Ford Roberts of San Marco’s Grape & Grain Exchange prepares the NinjaTurtles-inspired Bebop and Rocksteady.

JAX BEACH CRUSH AT THE PIER CANTINA JAX BEACH • Fresh-squeezed orange juice, Triple Sec, flavored rum and Sprite make for a good way to start at a day at the beach and also keep the party going. This drink, refreshing from the first sip, even comes in its own signature reusable cup, which means you have an excuse to order another.

You know, because of nature and stuff.

MOSCOW MULE AT POE’S TAVERN ATLANTIC BEACH • Reyka Vodka, fresh limes and Gosling’s Ginger Beer are stirred in copper for Poe’s fresh and cool version of this cocktailof-the-moment. Here is a drink that belongs in a derby, with big hats and clean suits winning big on the trifecta.

THE PISCO SOUR AT SHIM SHAM ROOM JAX BEACH • You likely didn’t know you could get a little taste of Peru and Chile at the beaches.

Well, you can, in the form of Shim Sham Room’s Pisco Sour – the South American classic that’s made from Pisco Porton, lemon juice for sour, a little syrup for sweet, and velvety egg whites to coat the palate.

THE BEACH CRUISER AT SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE NEPTUNE BEACH • Here is a drink that is a true reflection of an establishment. Delicious, fun and laid-back, The Beach Cruiser is rum, pineapple, orange juice, grenadine and ginger ale. Long-

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

<<< FROM PREVIOUS time Slider’s manager Mike Johns says everyone makes it a bit differently, so it’s only logical to come in often and try it a few times.

PINCHO AT THE WINE BAR JAX BEACH • The Wine Bar proudly uses Argentina’s best-selling white wine to create a refreshing, beachy cocktail. Savor a glass of New Age White wine on the rocks, with just enough soda water to make it fi zzly-licious, and you’ll be feeling like a Jimmy Buffett song: amazingly mellow.

ZANGRIA AT ZETA BREWING COMPANY JAX BEACH • Zeta’s unique Zangria uses three kinds of liquors. Banana liqueur, peach schnapps, agave nectar, a splash of Sprite, and Pinot Noir gives the drink its robust, ruby color. The Zangria looks like punch and tastes like candy.

DOWNTOWN, SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

TULLY ON THE ROCKS AT BAY STREET BAR & GRILL Some moments are meant for Irish whiskey. The recently opened Bay Street Bar & Grill on … um … Bay Street is the spot to indulge in Tully on the Rocks (for the uninitiated, that’s code for Tullamore Dew over ice) and a couple of friendlyish rounds of old-school games like Mario Kart and Street Fighter. Hadouken!

GREAT DIVIDE OAK-AGED YETI IMPERIAL STOUT AT BURRO BAR Chin up to this statuesque bar and tuck into Great Divide Oak Aged Yeti while you ponder life’s secrets beneath taps from years gone by at Burro Bar, which recently shocked Jacksonvillians by going smokefree. Smoke or not, at between 9.5 percent and 10.5 percent ABV, you’ll be high in no time.

THE EDINBURGH AT DOS GATOS It can be expected that the team over at Dos Gatos is going to keep it original. From the creative mind of Bar Manager Casey Shelton, The Edinburgh was crafted for folks who think they don’t like Scotch. Muddled lemon, lime, orange and basil marry well with Glenlivet 12 and elderflower liqueur, creating a true house classic.

GUINNESS WITH A JAMESON SIDECAR AT FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB You don’t need to be an Irishman to feel like one when you’ve got an ice-cold Guinness with a Sidecar of Jameson Irish whiskey in front of you at Fionn’s. After a couple of sips at this homey spot on the St. Johns River, you’ll be feeling seriously lucky.

BLACK WIDOW AT HOURGLASS PUB Hourglass Pub is where you drink Black Widows – MacKenzie’s black cherry hard cider mixed with Green Room Brewing’s Count Shak-u-la Stout – that taste just like cherry cola (see-oh-elaye, cola), while brushing up on your old-school Nintendo and/or Sega Genesis skills.

DARK ’N’ STORMY AT INDOCHINE This isn’t a drink; it’s an experiment in a glass!

The bottom layer of ginger beer with lime patiently waits to be combined with Kraken Black Spiced Rum in a tall glass. Mix it up or drink it in flavorful layers. Mmmm-mmmm.

SIDECAR NAMED DESIRE AT MARK’S DOWNTOWN NIGHTCLUB A new addition at the Urban Core’s most popular weekend watering hole, this take on the traditional Sidecar – freshly squeezed lemon, Courvoisier, Tuaca (honey vanilla citrus liqueur), shaken with ice – has an earthy, homey taste. The 20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

martini glass, with half-sugar rim and a lemon twist, makes it a classy winter drink that’s bound to catch on as temperatures drop.

Kitchen on San Marco ages the Templeton Rye Whiskey for its Old-Fashioneds in-house.

AUCDD AT MAVERICKS LIVE This isn’t a drink, it’s an experience! Most kickass drink specials stay a few seasons before going the way of the wind, but Maverick’s $10 AUCDD (All You Can Drink Drafts, that is) keeps going strong year after year. It’s the perfect accompaniment to smokin’ tunes courtesy of whatever amazing live act is on stage.

simple, with organic agave nectar and fresh lime juice splashed on the rocks with Partida Blanco, a tequila so legit that its origins are in Tequila Valley.

BAKED APPLE SAZERAC AT THE VOLSTEAD #Downtownisonfire is more than a marketing ploy with Volstead’s version of the Sazerac, a classic cocktail straight outta The Big Easy. Flames and sparks engulf the combination of apple, absinth and cinnamon, making the Volstead’s variant of Baked Apple Sazerac a true sensation for the eyes, nose and palate.

ZODIAC PUNCH AT ZODIAC BAR & GRILL Grab a seat at this Downtown institution and order a Zodiac Punch. It blends four fruity flavors of Cîroc Vodka – peach, pineapple, coconut and berry – with orange, pineapple and cranberry juice in a tall glass. After a few of these, you’ll be feeling like P. Diddy, the $735-million-dollar man.

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

JOHNNY VEGAS BOMB AT CHEERS ORANGE PARK Are you ready to go buck wild Vegas style?

Then try the Patron Silver, Watermelon Schnapps and Red Bull concoction that is the Johnny Vegas Bomb — essentially a shot in a full glass. For a milder, darker-tasting iteration, try the plain Vegas Bomb, which substitutes Crown Royal and butterscotch for the tequila and watermelon.

SWAMP WATER AT CLARK’S FISH CAMP Twenty years ago, the bar team at Clark’s Fish Camp needed a signature drink, so they decided to stroll right down to the creek itself and scoop up a cup of swamp water. Seriously though, the tasty, green concoction is a mix of vodka, rum, triple sec and Blue Curaçao that will definitely bite back if you’re not careful.

AGAVE NECTAR MARGARITA AT DON JUAN’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT Few things in life are as satisfying as chips, salsa, and margaritas. Don Juan’s hits the mark on all three. Their Agave Nectar Margarita keeps it

TOLLOY PINOT GRIGIO AT ENZA’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT Pears and flowery magnolia sing in Enza’s Pinot Grigio. The Grigio is neither sweet nor overly dry, with a crispness that makes the wine easy to sip. This white wine shines with Enza’s Grouper Françese, or anything that’s light and lemony.

ORIGINAL MARGARITA ON THE ROCKS AT TEXAS ROADHOUSE Perhaps it’s not out of the ordinary to find margaritas at a steakhouse with Texas in the name, but it’s probably unexpected that it’s this damn good. Served in a robust glass with a man-sized layer of salt on the rim, the cocktail even includes an extra shot of tequila for good measure. Extraordinary!

RIVERSIDE, FIVE POINTS, MURRAY HILL

NAKED PEAR AT HARMONIOUS MONKS The obvious joke to make when discussing Harmonious Monks’ Naked Pear – melon liqueur, pear vodka, sweet-and-sour mix, Sprite, and a splash of pineapple – would be some sort of reference to how alcohol lowers one’s inhibitions and affinity for the wearing of garments. But we’ll just say the drink is delicious and avoid exposing ourselves as unimaginative.

A GOLDEN GIRL AT BIRDIES FIVE POINTS The Birdies crew came up with a whole new cocktail that captures the most fawned-over group of gals in all of ’80s television culture — The Golden Girls. Patrons can order one of four women: Rose, Blanche, Sophia, or Dorothy. The base of each drink is Stiegl’s Grapefruit Radler paired with a liqueur with a splash of soda water.

THE HURRICANE (CAT 5) AT HURRICANE GRILL & WINGS Put up the shutters and order an Uber, because this sweet and tangy combination of two shots of rum, orange and pineapple juice, grenadine and a 151-proof floater will definitely bust the SaffirSimpson scale. Like a hurricane, you can see it coming — you prepare as best you can and still get leveled.

OLD-FASHIONED AT THE BLIND RABBIT WHISKEY BAR This Old-Fashioned’s got a twist that brings it a little more up to date. The secret is grapefruit bitters to go with the Luxardo cherries, Turbinado simple syrup, and Barrel Knob Creek single barrel whiskey that the knowledgeable folks at Blind Rabbit hand-select. It’s strong, so stick around for a burger and those signature gorgonzola chips.

WILDEWOOD PINOT NOIR AT PICASSO’S Oscar Wilde once said, “Drink Pinot daily.”

Not really, but he did inspire Wildewood Wine Company, an Oregon-based winery that honors Wilde’s sophistication in the ruby Pinot Noir. It’s a slightly sweet and dry wine, but without the tannins that leave your mouth chalky. Pair this with Picasso’s chicken Parmesan and call it a day.

BARREL-AGED ROXY (ON NITRO) AT BOLD CITY BREWERY’S TAPROOM Though Bold City’s Killer Whale Ale opened the door for cream ales in the region, this Imperial Cream Ale – aged in barrels that once lovingly held Woodford Reserve bourbon – kicks the door off its proverbial hinges. The Roxy is exceptionally smooth, and exceptionally … well … creamy, and tastes exceptionally more so when poured from the nitro tap in the brewery’s adjacent taproom.

ORANGE PARK, FLEMING ISLAND

TOOTY FRUITY CINDY SHOOTY AT THE ROADHOUSE A secret concoction of grape vodka and fruit juice, this giant shooter – truly a tooty fruity potable – is emblematic of the many shots that are popular at this long-standing Orange Park watering hole. Created by bartender Cindy, this one tastes like juice, feels like a potential hangover, and is perfect as the hair of the dog.

HIPSTER SPEEDBALL AT BREW FIVE POINTS The ever-popular and perfectly named Hipster Speedball — four ounces of cold brew made from PT’s coffee (Topeka, Kansas), plus 12 ounces of Intuition’s King Street Stout in a pint glass (that’s 16 ounces for those counting on their

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>

SAN MARCO

BEBOP & ROCKSTEADY AT GRAPE & GRAIN EXCHANGE

Don’t worry if you don’t get the name reference — all that matters is that you get the drink: muddled lemon and mint, in-house burnt cherry syrup, bourbon, and allspice dram. This play on a Whiskey Smash won’t leave you smashed, just uninhibited enough to take on a Ninja Turtle villain.

ORANGE PARK

BOURBON ON THE ROCKS AT HILLTOP RESTAURANT

With a collection of more than 80 bourbons, The Hilltop has just the right one for any connoisseur of firewater. If straight liquor isn’t your thing, the Orange Park restaurant specializes in any bourbon mixed drink, from Old-Fashioneds to Manhattans.

AMELIA ISLAND

BLACK & STORMY AT KARIBREW

When Café Karibo, the popular Fernandina lunch spot, opened its own brewery called Karibrew, they didn’t forget the cocktail drinkers, treating them instead to a bevy of high-end potables. Enter the Black & Stormy, a concoction of black rum and ginger beer, with just a bit of lemon and sage to up the palate game a little. Enjoy it with lunch.

JAX BEACH

IRISH TRASH CAN AT LYNCH’S IRISH PUB

When even the menu proclaims, “Be warned, it’s lethal!” you know you’ve got to try it before you die. With a flavor and a punch that are reminiscent of a Long Island Iced Tea, plus a Red Bull BANG, this a drink that cannot be missed.

SOUTHSIDE

THE RHUMBUIE AT MOXIE

The well-balanced Rhumbuie is a true vacation from the ordinary. This combination of añejo rum, Drambuie, Turbinado sugar, aromatic bitters and fresh pineapple/lime juice is the latest creative creation of a young all-star, Moxie Bar Manager Johnny Schaefer. The fresh pineapple and full caramel color recall Jacksonville’s proximity to the Caribbean and, as the drink ends, a light sadness sets in, signaling the end of the vacay … until they bring the next round.

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

WOMEN OF CRAFT COCKTAILS <<< FROM PREVIOUS fingers) – packs a caffeine pick-me-up, making it quite utilitarian, unlike most things adopted, fancied, repurposed (see: coöpted) by today’s hipster culture (yeah, that’s a reference to your cassette collection).

AGE: 33 HOMETOWN: Mahomet, Illinois WORKPLACE: The Shim Sham Room, Jax Beach EXPERIENCE: 9 years, service industry; 3 years, craft cocktails FAVORITE BOOZE: Green Chartreuse

SEANNA [Shaw-na] NICHOLE BURGESS This recurring series aims to introduce FW readers to some of the women making names for themselves behind the bars in Northeast Florida’s emerging craft cocktail scene.

•

W

•

•

ith raven Betty Pagesque hair draping a strong jaw and eyes that could be blue or green, it’s no surprise to find Burgess has cultivated a sizable coterie of fans when she’s behind the bar at the ever-popular Shim Sham Room in the heart of the fun district of Jax Beach. So you just stopped by to mindlessly throw one back and admire one of Burgess’ form-fitting black dresses? Well, then you’re missing out. With her dark good looks, this ’tender has a masters in communication education & training from Illinois State University and she’s not afraid to use it.

Burgess is always ready to educate guests on the latest cocktail techniques, introduce new spirits to the uninitiated, and make the best damn Pisco Sour you can get in town.

Burgess has made several contributions to Shim Sham’s specialty drink menu, including the Hendrick’s gin-based “Off the Vine,” featuring brown sugar balsamic reduction, fresh muddled strawberries, and a St. Germain liqueur rinse. Burgess sat down with Folio Weekly over lunch to discuss the growing craft bartending industry and how her obsession with alcohol is taking her food game to the next level.

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

On the craft cocktail renaissance: “Bartending is an industry that is becoming incredibly trendy right now … . It’s a form of artistry that I feel like, until now, has gone unrecognized.” Burgess suggests that with the acquisition of specialty ingredients and liquors from around the world, craft cocktails give people the “ability to experience the world without ever leaving home.”

touch. Burgess describes her spin on a Sunday brunch staple: “I call it a Ginger Rabbit. It’s like a Bloody Mary, but it’s made with fresh carrot juice and ginger root.” So, yes, it is possible to get beta carotene, booze, and great flavors in a glass. You’re welcome.

On the Green Menace: Burgess describes the aptly named sweet,

TAKE HOME PROJECT Toronto Cocktail • 2 ounces rye whiskey • 2/3 ounce Fernet-Branca • 1 dash Angostura bitters On the importance of travel in the industry: “Every day I learn new things that I want to practice and get better at,” which is why Burgess is excited to add a Croatia stamp to her pristine passport in 2016. Burgess says the scene is growing so quickly, one of the best ways to become “ … educated about the stuff is to go out and see what everybody else is doing.”

On Veggie Tales: It doesn’t take a genius to combine fruit flavors and alcohol. It’s incorporating some good old vegetables with a special

Stir with ice, strain, and serve in chilled coupe or martini glass. No garnish necessary. highly botanical emerald liqueur, crafted

by Carthusian monks, as “ballsy, crisp, and delicious.” When asked to qualify this statement, she immediately points to the recipe origination date of 1605. “That’s tested and true.” She’s even grilling with it at home — making a Green Chartreuse marinade for her barbecue pork loin to be enjoyed with an apple-and-fennel salad. Burgess rests her case by noting the 110-proof labeling, or 55 percent alcohol, content: “It’ll bite back … it’s like a seductress of a woman.”

Qres Ephraim mail@folioweekly.com

LAVENDER SPARKLER AT DAHLIA’S POUR HOUSE If you can’t find anything to your liking from their vast selection of beer and wine, this sparkly drink made from Proseco and lavender and vanilla syrup, a new creation designed to keep you refreshed between games of table tennis on Dahlia’s highly competitive Ping-Pong tables, will fill the bill.

DERBY CUP AT DERBY ON PARK Derby on Park’s drink to try before you die slides cooly under the banner of hip and refreshing. The Derby Cup combines St. Germaine with muddled cucumber, Hendricks Gin, peach nectar, ginger beer, and finishes with a garnish of cucumber sliver. Cool as a cucumber.

ROCK SAKE CLOUD AT HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE Sake Bombs go down easy with Hawkers’ sake straight from Oregon, where the water is so pure, Japanese sake crafters actually source it from there. And the name fits – the sake is cloudy, with a little burn and a smooth finish, evoking images of flowers and monks bottling in secret (or maybe I’m just buzzed).

THE DAIQUIRI AT IL DESCO Adding a little cocktail culture to a major corner of the beer-hamlet that is Riverside’s King Street district, new spot Il Desco has a well-crafted menu of classic cocktails. The Daiquiri – made with Zaya Gran Reserva 12-year-old rum, freshsqueezed lime juice, and housemade pineapple syrup (sweetened with Sugar in the Raw) – is a refreshing, rum-forward example of what the bar has to offer. Namely, drinks accessible to even the staunchest King Street beer snob.

EASY ON THE EYES IPA AT INTUITION ALE WORKS’ TAPROOM This crisp, low-ABV session IPA bucks the trend of highly alcoholic IPAs – which don’t always sit well in the Florida heat – while maintaining the hoppy, floral flavor that is the hallmark of a well-made India Pale Ale. It’s a Florida beer made in a Florida brewery to be enjoyed in Florida by Floridians. Florida.

CLOSE YOUR EYES & POINT AT KICKBACKS GASTROPUB When making a decision on what to try from one of the “biggest and best” beer selections in these here You-nited States at Kickbacks or the adjacent Goozlepipe & Guttyworks, it’s best to find the page of the draft list (with more than 200 selections) corresponding to styles of beers you might enjoy (be they pale ales, reds, sours, or “fruit/vegetable beers”), close your eyes, and point. It’s just easier than trying to decide.

LOLA’S PALOMA AT LOLA’S BURRITO & BURGER JOINT Lola’s twist on Mexico’s favorite cocktail (sorry, margarita), keeps the tequila (Giro) as well as the salt rim and the lime, but substitutes grapefruit beer for soda. It’s best enjoyed while doing some King Street people-watching on Lola’s outdoor patio – if you can find a space to sit.

METRO SHAKE AT THE METRO When asking for the Metro Shake – Fireball cinnamon whiskey, Rumchata, and cream over ice – it may be necessary to clarify that you’re,

in fact, ordering the cinnamony milkshake-like drink. Otherwise, you run the risk of soliciting a seductive shimmy from your bartender at any of the Metro’s eight (count ’em, eight) distinctive bars and clubs.

MUERTE CALIENTE MARGARITA AT MOSSFIRE GRILL Mossfire Grill’s Muerte Caliente Margarita is not for the faint of heart. It all starts with the homemade habanero-infused tequila, followed by agave nectar, fresh-squeezed lime juice, a splash of orange juice, and a salt/sugar mixture along the rim. Bring a napkin to wipe the beads of sweat from your forehead. On second thought, don’t be the weirdo who brings their own napkin to a bar.

TULLY TEA AT O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB The Tully Tea – made from Tullamore Dew Irish Whiskey, peach liqueur, sour mix, and a splash of Sprite – is a peachy, refreshing, summer drink that’s more Jacksonville than Dublin. But never fear, that’s where those shots of Jameson come in.

heard that one? Then you’ve never been to St. Augustine’s-by-way-of-Buffalo’s hockeyobsessed Ann O’Malley’s Irish Pub (the oldest Irish pub in the Ancient City). The “blue” – available on draft in only a few lucky establishments in NEFL, including Ann O’Malley’s – tastes even better during the Stanley Cup playoffs.

NAUGHTY AUSSIE AT BARLEY REPUBLIC IRISH GASTROPUB If you’re doing your St. Augustine drinking tour in as few nights as possible, like one writer of this fine publication who will remain unnamed, you’ll be about ready for a pick-me-up midway through. Nothing tastier than the Naughty Aussie, St. Augustine’s own Kookaburra coffee with Irish crème and Cruzan vanilla rum over ice.

Deliciously invigorating!

FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH MARTINI AT CELLAR 6 The Fountain of Youth specialty cocktail from this

upscale wine bar off the historic district’s quaintbut-still-commercial Aviles Street is aptly named if only because putting its glasses’ blue agavecoated rim to your lips and guzzling down the St. Augustine Distillery’s Florida cane vodka, sweet blue liqueur, and a champagne floater masked by lemon and lime, will help you look like you’re ready to let loose. Furthermore, two of these and you’re liable to be as uninhibited as a collegiate at a Flagler College kegger. $3 MARGARITA AT GYPSY CAB/CORNER BAR Celebrate Cinco 52 days a year at St. Augustine’s cheapest fiesta: Taco Tuesday. If it’s Tuesday and you already spent your paycheck for the week, Corner Bar’s dollar tacos and three-dollar Margaritas will get you through. And if you gulp down enough tequila (at these prices, your wallet won’t notice until drink No. 6 or 7), a server will slap down a trivia card in front of your face, because there’s nothing better than proving your

useless pop culture knowledge after (has it really been nine already?!) salty Margarita delights.

CATEGORY 5 HURRICANE AT HURRICANE PATTY’S Once you learn to curse the tourist traffic like a local, it’s time to kill some time, and brain cells, with the sailors at Hurricane Patty’s on Oyster Creek. While at least one bartender decries the bar’s namesake mixed beverage as any old fruity drink, you’ll want to try a Category 5 Hurricane anyway. Light and dark rum, Grenadine, passionfruit, orange juice, a cherry and an orange slice get you started, but the more Pusser’s Rum floaters you add, the more stormy you’ll be, and the more respect you’ll earn at this local seafood spot known for its salty characters.

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>

PICKLE BACK AT PARK PLACE Park Place keeps it simple and a little south of classy. The bar and package store is known for its “Mexican Hooker:” a shot of Cuervo Silver followed immediately by a shot of pickle juice. For those in the know, you can add an STD: a dash of hot sauce into the pickle juice. The bartender gave me an STD and said, “A little clap for you.”

Keepin’ it classy at Park Place. $2 BEER AT RAIN DOGS. The variety (from hip-hop to punk to jazz to Afro-Cuban) and accessibility (usually five bucks gets you in the music venue) of shows at rain dogs. make it easy to forget that Riverside’s Five Points district is often lacking where live music is concerned. And though they’ve got an excellent selection of wines and rotating draft beers, washing down a $5 punk show with one (or several) of rain dogs.’ revolving selection of $2 cans – Old Milwaukee, Miller High Life, Genesee Cream Ale, you know, the classy bevs – is one of Five Points’ most pleasant experiences.

TEQUILA SHRUB AT SBRAGA DINING At Sbraga, it’s possible to drink autumn in a glass.

Satsuma oranges give this shrub its bright flavor that complements cinnamon, raw sugar, white balsamic vinegar, and Espolón tequila that’s oh, so, smooth. And vinegar lowers body temperature, making this a drink for all seasons.

THE BEAST AT SILVER COW This cozy beer-and-wine watering hole often goes beast-mode when curating highly alcoholic brews. Avery Brewing’s The Beast – a Grand Cru Belgian ale served in a 6-ounce glass, topping out somewhere between 16 and 19 percent ABV (a range that’s necessary because the beer continues to ferment in the keg) – is just one example of Silver Cow’s very interesting offerings, albeit one that is sure to F you up.

ST. AUGUSTINE

WICKED ELF AT A1A ALE WORKS There’s no full-fledged local brewery within the city limits, so corporately owned A1A Ale Works is as close as you’ll get, and it ain’t a bad substitute. There are three rotating seasonal taps and the winter rotation features Wicked Elf, a truly wicked full-body, sweetly malty Christmas ale with a nice punch.

A TASTING FLIGHT AT ANCIENT CITY BREWING St. Augustine’s only local brewery makes sure you know the city’s story at the admittedly far-fromtown brewery, with its beer names and soon-tobe canon taps. The flagship hop-forward Ponce’s Pale Ale uses equinox hops and faint notes of citrus and pine to distinguish itself from the profusion of pales in the area. And the Matanzas River Red and Castillo Coconut Porter add to the varied lineup of nine in-house beers, making a flight well worth your effort to get to the cozy taproom on S.R. 16 and I-95.

LABATT BLUE ON DRAFT AT ANN O’MALLEY’S You know the saying: When drinking in an Irish pub, order the Canadian beer on draft. Never DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

DRINK D I R E C T O R Y

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA

Brett’s Waterway Café • 1 S. Front St., 261-2660 Ciao Italian Bistro, 302 Centre St., 206-4311, ciaobistro-luca.com Green Turtle Tavern • 14 S. Third St., 321-2324, greenturtletavern.com Karibrew • 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com Salty Pelican Bar & Grill • 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com

Burro Bar • 100 E. Adams St., burrobarjax.com The Candy Apple Café & Cocktails • 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717, thecandyapplecafe.com Dos Gatos • 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666, dosgatosjax.com Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub • Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247, fionnmacs.com Hourglass Pub & Coffee Shop • 345 E. Bay St., 469-1719, hourglasspub.com

Hurricane Grill & Wings • 12795 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 16, Julington, 260-8338, hurricanewings.com Picasso’s Pizzeria • 10503 San Jose Blvd., 880-0811, jaxpicassos.com

ORANGE PARK, FLEMING ISLAND

Cheers Park Avenue • 1138 Park Ave., 269-4855, cheersparkave.com. Open Christmas Day! Club Retro • 1241 Blanding Blvd., 579-4731 The Hilltop • 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com The Roadhouse • 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Texas Roadhouse • 550 Blanding Blvd., 213-1000, texasroadhouse.com Whitey’s Fish Camp • 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

Across The Street • 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182

The Metro • 859 Willow Branch Ave., 388-8719, metrojax.com Mossfire Grill & Lounge • 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire.com O’Brothers Irish Pub • 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, obrothersirishpub.com Park Place Lounge • 931 King St., 389-6616 Rain Dogs • 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Sbraga Dining • 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 114, 746-0909, sbragadining.com Silver Cow • 1506 King St., 379-6968, silvercowjax.com

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A Ale Works • 1 King St., Ste. 101, 829-2977 Ancient City Brewing • 3420 Agricultural Ctr. Dr., Ste. 8, 429-9654, ancientcitybrewing.com Ann O’Malley’s Pub • 23 Orange St., 825-4040, annomalleys.com Barley Republic • 48 Spanish St., 547-2023, barleyrepublicph.com Cellar 6 • 6 Aviles St., 827-9055, cellar6staugustine.com

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

Bistro Aix • 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com Grape & Grain Exchange/The Parlour • 2000 San Marco Blvd., 396-4455, grapeandgrainexchange.com Hamburger Mary’s • 3333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com Kitchen on San Marco • 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com Mudville Music Room • 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 River City Brewing Company • 835 Museum Cir., 398-2299, rivercitybrew.com Sherwood’s • 1105 San Marco Blvd., 398-1142 Sidecar • 1406 Hendricks Ave., 527-8990, drinksidecar.com Taverna • 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasanmarco.com

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS, ARLINGTON

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

Harpoon Louie’s • 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net Restaurant Orsay • 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com

THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) Azurea at One Ocean • 1 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-7402, oneoceanresort.com Bo’s Club (aka Bo’s Coral Reef) • 201 Fifth Ave. N., 246-9874, bosclub.com Culhane’s Irish Gastropub • 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595, culhanesirishpub.com Engine 15 • 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337, engine15.com Flask & Cannon • 524 First St. N., 553-2723, flaskandcannon.com Flying Iguana Taqueria & Tequila Bar • 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com Fly’s Tie Irish Pub • 177 Sailfish Dr. E., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Ginger’s Place • 304 Third St. S., 249-8711 Green Room Brewing • 228 Third St. N., 201-9283, greenroombrewing.com Hoptinger Bier Garden & Sausage House • 333 First St. N., 222-0796, hoptinger.com Island Girl Cigar Bar • 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943, islandgirlcigarbar.com Lynch’s Irish Pub • 514 N. First St., 249-5181, lynchsirishpub.com Mezza Restaurant & Bar, • 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573, mezzaRestaurantandbar.com Monkey’s Uncle • 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Nippers Beach Grille • 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300, nippersbeachgrille.com Ocean 60 • 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060, ocean60.com Pete’s Bar • 117 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-9158 The Pier Cantina & Sandbar • 412 First St. N., 246-6454, thepierjax.com Poe’s Tavern • 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7637, poestavern.com Ragtime Tavern • 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com Royal Palm Village Wine & Tapas • 296 Royal Palms Dr., Atlantic Beach, 372-0052 The Shim Sham Room • 333 First St. N., Ste. 150, 372-0781, shimshamroom. com Sliders Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar • 218 First St., Neptune Beach, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com The Wine Bar • 320 First St. N., Ste. 1, 372-0211, thewinebaruncorked.com Zeta Brewing Company • 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727, zetabrewing.com

DOWNTOWN

1904 Music Hall • 19 Ocean St. N., 1904musichall.com Bay Street Bar & Grill • 119 E. Bay St., 419-3550 Burrito Gallery & Bar • 21 E. Adams St., 598-2922, burritogallery.com

Indochine • 21 E; Adams St., Ste. 200, 598-5303, indochinejax.com Mark’s Downtown Nightclub • 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099, marksjax.com Mavericks Live • Jax Landing, 356-1110, mavericksatthelanding.com Underbelly • 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186, underbellylive.com Uptown Kitchen & Bar • 1305 N. Main St., 355-0734, uptownkitchenandbar. com The Volstead • 115 W. Adams St., 414-3171, thevolsteadjax.com Zodiac Bar & Grill • 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

Aw Shucks Oyster Bar • 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd., 240-0368, awshucksjax. com. House Special: $5 Blue Hawaiian (souvenir cup) Cheers Mandarin • 11475 San Jose Blvd., 262-4337 Clark’s Fish Camp • 12903 Hood Landing Rd., Julington Creek, 268-3474, clarksfishcamp.com Don Juan’s • 12373 San Jose Blvd., 268-8722, donjuansjax.com Enza’s Italian Restaurant • 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458, enzas.net Harmonious Monks • 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040, harmoniousmonks.net

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

Corner Bar, next to the wildly popular Gypsy Cab, St. Augustine, hosts Taco Tuesday 52 nights a year and makes some of the best hangover-subverting Bloody Matys this side of the Matanzas Inlet.

Alewife Craft Beer Bottleshop & Tasting Room • 1035 Park St., 575-4551, alewifebittleshop.com Birdies Five Points • 1044 Park St., 356-4444, birdiesfivepoints.com Black Sheep Restaurant • 1534 Oak St., 380-3091, blacksheep5points.com The Blind Rabbit Whiskey Bar • 901 King St., 337-0146, theblindrabbitwhiskeybar.com Bold City Brewery • 2670 Rosselle St., Ste. 7, 379-6551, boldcitybrewery.com Brew Five Points • 1024 Park St., 374-5789, brewfivepoints.com Dahlia’s Pour House • 2695 Post St., dahliaspourhouse.com Derby on Park • 1068 Park St., 379-3343 Hawkers Asian Street Fare • 1001 Park St., 508-0342 Il Desco • 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com Intuition Ale Works • 720 King St., 683-7720, intuitionaleworks.com Kickbacks Gastropub, Goozlepipe & Guttyworks • 910 King St., 388-9551, kickbacksgastropub.com Lola’s Burrito & Burger Joint • 1522 King St., 738-7181, lolasburritojoint.com

Gypsy Cab Co./Corner Bar • 828 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 824-8244, gypsycab.com Hurricane Patty’s • 69 Lewis Blvd., 827-1822, hurricanepattys.net Ice Plant Bar • 110 Riberia St., 829-6553, iceplantbar.com JP Henley’s • 10 Marine St., 829-3337, jphenleys.com Mill Top Tavern • 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329, milltoptavern.com Odd Birds • 33 Charlotte St. Pizzalley’s • 117 St. George St., 825-2627, pizzalleyschiantiroom.com Rendezvous Restaurant • 106 St. George St., 824-1090 St. George’s Tavern • 116 St. George St., 824-4204, stgeorgetavern.com Salt Life Food Shack • 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com Sangrias Tapas & Piano Bar • 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Scarlett O’Hara’s • 70 Hypolita St., 824-6535, scarlettoharas.net Tini Martini Bar • 24 Avenida Menendez, 829-6017, tini-martini-bar.com Tradewinds Lounge • 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336, tradewindslounge.com

Bella Vita • 3825 Baymeadows Rd., 646-1370, bellavitajax.com. House Special: Tiramasu Martini Dancing Dragon • 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C, 363-9888 Latitude 360 • 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 Mitchell’s Fish Market • 5205 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Center, 645-3474, mitchellsfishmarket.com Moxie Kitchen + Cocktails • 4972 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Center, 9989744, moxiefl.com My Place Bar & Grill • 9550 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 30, 737-5299 Ovinté • 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., St. Johns Town Center, 900-7730, ovinte.com Taverna Yamas • 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com Tilted Kilt Pub & Eatery • 970 Deer Lake Ct., 379-8612, tiltedkilt.com. House Special: Purple Haze Time Out Sports Grill • 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill. com. House Special: Garden Mule Veterans United Brewery • 8999 Western Way, Ste. 104, 253-3326, vubrew.com Whiskey Jax • 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com

DJ sets are best enjoyed with martinis at Mark’s, Downtown’s popular night-spot.

black cherry liqueur – is the mainstay on rotating taps replete with beers of which the snobbiest American has never heard.

<<< FROM PREVIOUS CLOCKWORK ORANGE AT ICE PLANT BAR Some drinks just taste better in Mason jars. And they taste even better when they’re a confluence of classic flavors, like carrot, ginger, lime, and pineapple. Swirl in gin and apple brandy, add some sprigs of fennel frond, and you’ve got a Clockwork Orange, one of the most popular drinks at a newish, very popular drinking establishment.

THE ASCOT AT JP HENLEY’S The best art is stolen. The Ascot is a Eugene, Oregon-inspired “Old-World-style” drink with a healthy dose of Maker’s Mark bourbon, Disaronno Amaretto liqueur and peach bitters. Instead of Eugene’s “fancy stuff” licorice-y star anise seeds, Henley’s opts for Tuscany’s sweet herbal liqueur Galliano L’Autentico.

TALL BUD LIGHT AT MILL TOP TAVERN Come to The Mill Top for the live music, an iconic waterwheel T-shirt, or a view of the fort from a deck wrapped around an impressive oak tree that surely has some stories to tell. You want to drink something? Isn’t that Tavern shot still powering your buzz? Fine, but make the Bud Light tall, because you’re going to want to sing along with the next tune the guy plays – even if it’s a crappy Gordon Lightfoot cover.

CANARIO AT ODD BIRDS As the only cocktail that has weathered three months of rotation on Odd Birds’ creativityinclined menu, the Canario – which features Old Forrester bourbon, Falernum (a syrupy almond liqueur), housemade ginger-turmeric syrup, and Angostura bitters – is a kind of delicious, spicy lemonade, served shaken with crushed ice and a lemon peel clothes-pinned to the rim of the glass.

ITALIAN LEMONADE AT PIZZALLEY’S You can get Pizzalley’s housemade Italian lemonade any time of year and, with this weather, you’ll want it tomorrow. Waitstaff zests 80 lemons for each batch of premade vodka-infused limoncello, which your bartender shakes up with triple sec, sour mix and Sierra Mist to create a quaff far beyond what that neighbor’s annoying kid sold at his lemonade stand last summer.

KASTEEL ROUGE AT RENDEZVOUS RESTAURANT If you can dodge the sweaty tourists desperate for A/C and hawkers of magic and jerky, Rendezvous, at the end of St. George’s Row, is worth a visit. Among a healthy selection of imports, Belgium’s Kasteel Rouge — an 8-percent, tastefully sweet blend of the sophisticated quadruple Kasteel Donker and

JAMESON (STRAIGHT) AT ST. GEORGE’S TAVERN From Cape Cod to Ft. Myers, dive bar enthusiasts know about St. George’s Tavern. A dose of genuine in the middle of St. Augustine’s “history” show, it’s where you can escape the kids and the fakes for a shot and a beer. Or just Jameson.

Straight. Do you want to get drunk or what? Great classics on the juke, too.

WIPEOUT PAIN KILLER AT SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK Salt Life’s signature Wipeout Pain Killer is a take on the official cocktail of the Virgin islands, and delivers the needed punch of Pusser’s Rum with the recovery vitamins of pineapple and orange juice and creamy crème de coconut. The healthy finish of nutmeg adds the perfect dose of warmth to this beachy beverage.

THE MATANZAS AT SANGRIAS This wine and tapas bar attracts its own mix of locals and tourists, with rooftop music that echoes through St. George Street on most weekend nights.

The most popular sangria, The Matanzas, is a mix of two other house sangrias, garnished with a berry-interesting mix of blackberries, raspberries, blueberries and strawberries (get it? berryinteresting?), with some cinnamon apples thrown in to balance this drink that is, otherwise, fairly heavy on the saccharine.

SPANISH OAK AT SCARLETT O’HARA’S Honoring the Ancient City’s oldest resident – a 600-year-old oak tree locals call the Senator – this bourbon-forward cocktail featuring with Buffalo Trace, Carpano Antica, and orange Curaçao liqueur is made with flare – literally: An orange peel is set on fire before being rubbed around the rim of the glass.

VESPER MARTINI AT TINI MARTINI BAR Perch yourself on Tini Martini’s bayside porch; it’s perfect for espying the most ridiculous of pirates, tourists and pirate tourists – it’s the perfect opportunity to embrace your inner Bond. Order a Vesper martini – shaken, not stirred – and the vodka and gin cocktail, plus dry vermouth and bleu cheese olives, will make you more handsome, the pirates lovable, and your liver more black.

RUM PUNCH AT TRADEWINDS LOUNGE And there’s no drink more appropriate (not even a margarita, Mr. Buffett) to waste away with in St. Augustine than Tradewinds’ house recipe Rum Punch. At $4 a glass, it’s a good bet you’ll have plenty of cash left over to replace all the things

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>> DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

ATLANTIC BEACH

ATLANTIC BEACH LEMONADE AT RAGTIME TAVERN

Fresh-squeezed lemonade and vodka, along with a few extra ingredients, let this beachy drink blend well with a Sunday afternoon. The fresh lemon taste reminds you of Grandma, but the slight kick from the vodka lets you know that Grandma’s been up to something.

DOWNTOWN

HOUSE-INFUSED SPICY MARGARITA AT UPTOWN KITCHEN & BAR

This newly minted margarita is the creation of Bartender John O’Grady. Get a whiff of his tequila, though don’t cough on the intense fumes of datil peppers and Carolina Reaper grown right in Springfield. As if house-infused tequila isn’t enough, O’Grady throws in some rum-soaked strawberries. Drink carefully with this one.

ST. NICHOLAS

TAVERNA YAMAS’ ICED TEA AT TAVERNA YAMAS

There are a lot of ways to get turnt on the Southside, but none will get you there faster than Taverna Yamas’ take on the Long Island. Crown Royal and Captain Morgan duke it out against a backdrop of Coca-Cola and apples.

Stay for a hookah, as it’s certainly not a good idea to drive after a few of these.

SAN MARCO

A $6 CLASSIC AT SIDECAR

Combine some of Jax’s most skilled mixologists with one of the city’s best happy hours and you get an excellent value-proposition with any of the classic cocktails at San Marco’s Sidecar. Try a Vesper, a Manhattan, a Negroni, an OldFashioned, or a Jager-bomb (just kidding about that last one), created by one of Sidecar’s talented bartenders, and you’ll be well on your way to dismissing any swill that’s not up to snuff.

ORANGE PARK

THE BLUE GATOR AT WHITEY’S FISH CAMP

Bringing a little cocktail class to Fleming Island’s Whitey’s Fish Camp is one easy with the Blue Gator, a deliciously fruity mix of vodka, Blue Curaçao, and pineapple. But why is it called the Blue Gator? Because the orange slice garnish gives the drink a distinctively UF appearance. It’s great … to be … !

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

interior, should be all the stimuli you need to determine that this, friends, is a dive bar and you should behave as such: Order a cheap beer and indulge in the most sexually suggestive Skee-ball machine this side of First Baptist (a score of 400 or more means the beer is on the house).

<<< FROM PREVIOUS you’ve lost after an afternoon under the lounge’s tiki-hut-inspired ceilings, listening (or singing along to) to rock ’n’ roll and/or Gulf ’n’ Western crooners – stuff like your keys, your phone, or your lost shaker of salt.

SAN MARCO, ST. NICHOLAS, SOUTHBANK

DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION COCKTAIL AT BISTRO AIX Bourbon, Branca Menta, in-house clove syrup, freshly muddled rosemary and lime, ginger beer, and black walnut bitters give the Double Secret a lemony zing and a gingery burn that’s perfect for winter. It’s a secret you certainly won’t have trouble keeping to yourself.

44-OUNCE MARTINI AT HAMBURGER MARY’S Average days call for average bars. Exceptional days call for Hamburger Mary’s. Make an average day exceptional by ordering one of Jacksonville’s biggest martinis, a Mary’s exclusive, at this spot where Beach Boulevard meets San Marco meets fabulous. This 44-ounce – really! – concoction will have you flying high in no time.

BARREL-AGED TEMPLETON RYE WHISKEY OLD-FASHIONED AT KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO A classic Old-Fashioned can be enjoyed almost any place, but almost any place won’t be barrelaging their rye whiskey right in-house. Kitchen on San Marco uses a small barrel of 80-proof whiskey, aging the rye in plain view at the bar, to be used with classic ingredients to make a classic cocktail.

CLISBY AT THE PARLOUR This slightly sweet yet subtle cocktail greets you like an old friend and invites you to sit for a while and share a story or two. Riverboat rye, Carpano Antica, Campari, dry Curaçao and two types of bitters, stirred and served with a twist of lemon, making this a perfect pre- or post-dinner drink.

As ice melts and time passes, the drink continues open up and share, the way an old friend should.

BUSCH LIGHT AT SHERWOOD’S You don’t need the bartender to tell you, the eye-catching vintage, catawampus signage and striped awnings, if not the Reno truck stop chic

Cheers in Mandarin is ready to quench your thirst with a full bar and drink specials every … single … day of the week.

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

MARTINEZ AT TAVERNA Attention James Bond: Taverna’s Martinez is stirred, not shaken. And it packs a punch, with Ransom Old Tom Gin, Maraschino Liqueur, sweet vermouth, and orange bitters. The drink wouldn’t be complete without a rub of orange peel along the rim to boost the citrusy aroma.

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

DRAGON FIRE MIST AT DANCING DRAGON Behold, a drink so new that Folio Weekly got input in its christening. The 70-proof Dragon Fire is infused with dragon fruit, lychee, and hot chilis.

Mix this with fresh lemon, lime, sweet and sour, and grenadine, and the result is a drink with enough heat to make flames.

PINEFIN MARTINI AT MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET Something magical happens when you infuse Finlandia vodka with pineapple, shake it over ice with a dash of fruity sweetness and strain it into a martini glass: You create the taste of summer.

Don’t be fooled by the light, fresh flavor – it’s the strongest that they make. Ooohh, yeah!

CIGAR CITY HARD CIDER & FIREBALL AT MY PLACE BAR & GRILL Spicy cinnamon goodness and sweet apply cider give this amalgamation a sugary fire. Sidle up next to that hottie at the bar and order a round or two. Whether you shoot and chase it or mix them up in a glass, you’re gonna be burning for more.

WEEDED IN PARADISE AT OVINTÉ This is one of the most unique drinks in Jacksonville – heck, maybe even the world.

Whichever genius thought to combine Yellow Chartreuse, Mezcal, Bacardi Ocho and a twist of orange with aromatic cloves should be given the Medal of Valor, or at least a congratulatory high five.

SCOUT DOG 44 AMBER ALE AT VETERANS UNITED BREWERY Upon arrival, you’ll feel like Jennifer Connelly in Labyrinth, but Veterans United is worth the quest into Southside’s warehouse district. Scout Dog 44 Amber Ale – coming soon to a six-pack near you – is a smooth amber oasis of caramel malt with a perfect pinch of noble hot bitterness.

BOURBON DIVINITY AT WHISKEY JAX The Southside’s newest, most fabulous spot has created a gateway cocktail for bourbon.

Give it a stir and sip Bourbon Divinity; it thrills on the palate with a rich whiskey goodness that will tickle aficionados and indoctrinate first-timers to a lifelong love affair with the sweet burn of bourbon.

A+E // FILM

GRAND OLD

SPACE .

Long-awaited episode doesn’t break any new ground, but fans will still obsess over George Lucas’ new SCI-FI EPIC

the Star Wars movies Gwendoline Christie (Game of Thrones) and have been throughout Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave) are underthe years. utilized in small roles.

Director J.J. Abrams The script by Lawrence Kasdan (Return of — who brilliantly the Jedi), Abrams and Michael Arndt (Little reinvented the Star Trek Miss Sunshine) pays homage to the original franchise — has been trilogy while taking the saga’s story in a characteristically mum bold new direction. This is similar to what on the plot, so I will Abrams did with the two Star Trek movies he share little more than directed, and the familiarity is comforting. what the opening scroll Additionally, the storyline goes in a logical reveals (stop reading direction that could plausibly occur 25 to 30 now if you don’t want years after the last chronological installment, to know; this entire Return of the Jedi. For what it’s worth, The review is spoiler-free): Force Awakens looks and feels like it’s derived Luke Skywalker (Mark from the original trilogy, not Lucas’ more Hamill), the last living recent glossy prequels.

Jedi, has vanished. The There are some notable surprises and villainous First Order good laughs (including genuinely funny wants Luke dead so it moments from Han and the BB8), and can reclaim the Galaxy some familiar faces pop up — it’s like seeing from the Republic. forgotten pals from high school at your General Leia Organa 30th reunion. There is far too much left (Carrie Fisher), leader of the Resistance unexplained — information is deliberately for the Republic, sends a pilot (Oscar not revealed that absolutely, positively should Isaac) to the planet Jakku to find a clue to have been. The adrenaline high we want to Luke’s hideout. The aforementioned so-so feel as we walk out of the megaplex is instead compound shootout begins an empty space, like, “What shortly thereafter. was that?” We shouldn’t STAR WARS: Bare bones info: The have to wait for Episode VIII THE FORCE AWAKENS heroes are Rey (Daisy in May 2017 for answers we **G@ Ridley), who is a local on could have had by now.

Rated PG-13 Jakku, with an adorable droid So temper those high called the BB8, and former expectations, folks. In its stormtrooper Finn (John Boyega). Later, totality, Star Wars: The Force Awakens is a Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and Chewbacca bit of a letdown, a movie ready to light box offices around the globe afire with around(Peter Mayhew) join the fight. The villains the-clock screenings, which nonetheless are the unimposing Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), lacks the ingenuity and overall quality we’ve General Hux (Domhnall Gleeson), and been dreaming about for so long.

Supreme Leader Snoke (Andy Serkis). Also Dan Hudak of note: Anthony Daniels and Kenny Baker mail@folioweekly.com return as C-3PO and R2-D2, respectively, and

OPRY T

he enthusiasm for Star Wars: The Force Awakens is palpable and omnipresent, a heady mixture of buzz and anticipation that comes around only once or twice a year. Then the moment arrives: The lights go down, the Lucasfilm Ltd. logo glimmers, we’re told in blue that “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away … ” and boom! John Williams’ famous theme plays as the title and scrolling text set the stage. I got goosebumps, giddy, excited. Star Wars is back!

Sadly, the exhilaration doesn’t last. You know Star Wars: The Force Awakens is in trouble from the opening action scene, a standard compound shootout that lacks the originality that so infused the saga begun in 1983. In fact, all of the action and visual effects are surprisingly mediocre — there’s nothing here that makes us say “wow.” This is such a letdown, considering how creative

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

FILM LISTINGS FILM RATINGS HAPPY HOLIDAYS **** HAPPY TRAILS ***@ HAPPY DAYS **@@

HAPPY MEAL *@@@

SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN

SUN-RAY CINEMA Star Wars The Force Awakens and The Big Short screen at 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com.

THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Wildlike and A Midwinter’s Tale are currently running. Merry Friggin Christmas runs noon Dec. 24. The Man from U.N.C.L.E and Learning to Drive start Dec. 25. The Goonies runs noon Dec. 26. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

IMAX THEATER Star Wars The Force Awakens\ and The Polar Express screen at World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, St. Johns, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING

ALVIN & THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP Rated PG Those zany little fellas are back and seem to be mistaken in their belief that their human buddy/manager Dave (Jason Lee … you know, the devil in Dogma) is going to leave them high and dry when he gets married. Hilarity and mass confusion ensue. Costars voices of Kaley Cuoco, Anna Faris, Christina Applegate, Matthew Gray Gubler (that

MODERN DAY FOLKLORE

THERE ARE A LOT OF WEIRD AND WONDERFUL things going on in the Scandinavian film scene these days. A few weeks ago I was waxing eloquently (as much as my editor let me, that is) on a couple of recent thrillers from Norway, movies that are as good or better than most other such genre efforts cluttering the American cineplexes. Unfortunately, the majority of moviegoers here don’t want to read the dialogue spoken by actors and actresses whom they don’t readily recognize.

Fans of horror and fantasy films are generally more forgiving about such requirements, and so for them (and me) home video has proved a real boon, as can be attested by two films that have recently made their way onto Blu-ray. Both are from Norway (again), attesting that imagination is thriving in the Land of the Midnight Sun. Trollhunter (2010) is another found-footage film, but worlds better (more fun and more original) than most such efforts wallowing in the wake of The Blair Witch Project. The film opens with no titles or credits, declaring that the unedited footage we are about to see is the work of a three-person team of Norwegian college students (now missing), who were intent on exposing the wanton destruction of native wildlife by poachers.

When the paths of the witless students cross those of a Norwegian version of Crocodile Dundee named Hans (Otto Jespersen), they soon learn that conservation in Norway takes on a much larger dimension than they ever suspected. Hans is employed by the government to contain and maintain the troll population in the hinterlands, and lately there have been lots of problems with the mythic monsters of fairy lore. They are mad and hungry.

Trollhunter plays it straight but with a rich comic subtext that in no way detracts from the seemingly absurd premise. The cinematography of Norwegian landscapes is often stunning, and the special effects are state-of-the-art. What really raises the film above similar such efforts, however, is the script and the performances, both of which rescue the characters from stereotypes – the bane of genre movies.

Jespersen especially is wonderful.

Naturally an American remake is already in

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

brainy guy on Criminal Minds), Justin Long (voicing Alvin himself), and Kimberly Williams Paisley (Brad’s wife).

THE BIG SHORT **** Rated R Reviewed in this issue.

BRIDGE OF SPIES **@@ Rated PG-13 The script by Matt Charman and Joel and Ethan Coen is divided like a theatrical production. Beginning in 1957, the first and more interesting segment follows insurance lawyer Jim Donovan (Tom Hanks) as he defends accused Russian spy Rudolf Abel (Mark Rylance) from charges of treason and espionage. Jim is an insurance counselor doing a defense attorney’s job – this is based on a true story. Jim’s legal partners (Alan Alda, John Rue), the CIA, FBI, the presiding judge (Dakin Matthews) and Jim’s wife Mary (Amy Ryan), daughters and son want it all to be for show and for Rudolf to not receive a fair trial. Jim stands by his client’s constitutional rights and does his best for the Russian. — Dan Hudak BROOKLYN Rated PG-13 Eilis Lacey (Saoirse Ronan) is a young Irish woman just relocated to 1950s Brooklyn. She meets Tony (Emory Cohen) and falls in love. Then something needs her attention back in Ireland and she has to pick her life – here or there? Costars the awesome Julie Walters, as well as Domhnall Gleeson, Jim Broadbent and Brid Brennan.

CHI-RAQ Rated R Director Spike Lee offers an updated take on Aristophanes’ drama Lysistrata, with an amazing cast – Nick

MAGIC LANTERNS

production while writer/director Andre Ovredal is currently attached to an Irish/Australian sci-fi thriller called Emergence, currently designated by the dreaded “in development.”

I would rather see his new film than another English-speaking rip-off.

Very different but just as good is Thale (pronounced tah-lay), a 2012 film written and directed by Aleksander L. Nordaas, an esthetic (if not ethnic) descendant of David Lynch.

Basically a three-person film (except for the concluding segment), Thale deals with two luckless guys named Elvis (Erlend Nevold) and Leo (Jon Sigve Skard) whose unenviable job is to clean up after messy deaths. Their current assignment takes them to a remote cabin in the woods where, among other things, they discover a young female hidden (initially) in a bathtub of milky liquid.

Her name is Thale (Silje Reinamo), they discover, but just who (and what) she is unfolds over a spare running time of 76 mins.

Without giving too much away, she turns out to be a “huldra,” a creature from Nordic folklore who is part-siren, part-fairy. We learn her complicated story without a word of dialogue from Silje Reinnamo (in a remarkably effective performance), but the more mundane concerns of sad sacks Leo and Elvis also remain front and center.

A minimum of plot spoilers here, I promise you. Thale, unlike Trollhunter, is more character study than plot-driven, more drama than thrills. It’s weird alright, and ominous. But what remains, more than anything else, is a sense of wonder, like that engendered by a fairy tale, however ominous its premise.

For the adventurous who like Thale, check out Aleksander Nordaas’s new free web series, Made in Mosjoen. It’s Twin Peaks squared ... and then some.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

FILM LISTINGS Cannon, Teyonah Parris, Wesley Snipes, Angela Bassett, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cusack, Jennifer Hudson, D.B. Sweeney, Dave Chappelle – amid the violence in Chicago, challenging the racism and sexism it foments.

CREED Rated PG-13 “Yo, (mumble, mumble) can’t sing or dance.”

Apollo Creed’s son Adonis (played by Michael B. Jordan) thinks he wants to be a boxer like his father, whom he never knew. So he goes looking for that lovable palooka Rocky Balboa (do we even have to tell you he’s played by Sylvester Stallone?) in Philly. Costars Phylicia Rashad, Max Kellerman, Jim Lampley, Elvis Grant and Tessa Thompson.

THE GOOD DINOSAUR **@@ Rated PG The story begins with the birth of an Apatosaurus, Arlo (Jack McGraw as the baby, Raymond Ochoa as the older version). His parents (Jeffrey Wright, Frances McDormand) believe in him, and help him conquer his fears. To help him dinosaur up, Poppa takes him on a long walk, gives him advice … and then gets killed, leaving the dino-baby on his own and unable to get home to Momma. Arlo befriends a human boy, and T-Rexes (Sam Elliott, Anna Paquin, A.J. Buckley). Pterodactyls (Steve Zahn) and Velociraptors (voiced

by Pixar stalwart John Ratzenberger) try to eat them. — DH IN THE HEART OF THE SEA **@@ Rated PG-13 In 1850, young author Herman Melville (Ben Whishaw) bribes Tom Nickerson (Brendan Gleeson), a retired sailor, to discuss a voyage he’d taken 30 years before.

This voyage, Melville suspects, includes a giant sperm whale attacking humans at sea, leaving them stranded for months with little hope of survival. Nothing like this had ever happened, meaning it’d be great material for a story if Thomas can provide the details. Director Ron Howard (A Beautiful Mind) and screenwriter Charles Leavitt (Blood Diamond) infuriate us by initially having Thomas resist telling the story. Why? Because it was hard, we surmise from Thomas’ reaction. Of course it was hard. Melville wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t hard. Now stop wasting our time and get to the parts the trailers have been promising for months. This is an adventure that can sell millions of books (it’s the story that inspired Moby Dick, we’re told), so it seems careless not to explore it. Costars Tom Holland, Benjamin Walker, Chris Hemsworth and Cillian Murphy. — DH KRAMPUS Rated PG-13 Didn’t get the present you wanted for the holidays? No matter; just conjure a yuletide demon to your happy home, sit back and enjoy the consequences. The comedy/horror film costars Adam Scott, Toni Collette, Emjay Anthony, David Koechner and Conchata Ferrell.

LOVE THE COOPERS Rated PG-13 The holidays are stressful enough as it is, what with trying to find the perfect gift for someone you don’t give a rat’s ass about … here the idyllic celebration the Cooper family strives for is a chaotic charade, until surprising things happen. Costars Olivia Wilde, Amanda Seyfried, Marisa Tomei, Diane Keaton, John Goodman, Ed Helms, and Alan Arkin, who was so great opposite John Cusack in High Fidelity.

THE NIGHT BEFORE Rated R Nothing like the lovely wistful Beatles song. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Anthony Mackie and the ubiquitous Seth Rogen ferret out top-shelf Christmas Eve parties every year as they prowl NYC. THE PEANUTS MOVIE ***@ Rated G Two of the three credited screenwriters are Craig Schulz and Bryan Schulz, the son and grandson of Peanuts cartoonist Charles Schulz. It’s clear from the outset that director Steve Martino isn’t interested in shaking up the

Peanuts universe too radically. Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, and Linus still occupy an adult-free world, one where Snoopy still writes his novels on a manual typewriter. Charlie Brown (voiced by Noah Schnapp) is still hapless and anxietyridden, and it’s from that foundation that the story emerges.

The Little Red-Haired Girl has just moved to town, and Charlie Brown is desperate to impress her, and terrified of interacting with her. — Scott Renshaw POKÉMON THE MOVIE: HOOPA & THE CLASH OF AGES Not Rated Costars Daniel J. Edwards, Tatsuya Fujiwara, and Megumi Hayashibara.

SECRET IN THEIR EYES **@@ Rated PG-13 In this dull thriller, three friends, played by Nicole Kidman, Julia Roberts and Chiwetel Ejiofor, are investigating the murder of Carolyn Cobb (Zoe Graham), who was district attorney investigator Jess’ (Roberts) teenage daughter. It’s now a cold case and the lead investigator, Ray (Ejiofor), is so convinced the killer is a guy named Marzan (Joe Cole), there’s no room for mystery.

SISTERS **G@ Rated R Their parents are selling their family home, so two sisters (Amy Poehler, Tina Fey) decide to throw a final bash at the ol’ homestead. Is it just us, or do Poehler’s smirk and Fey’s condescending manner seem a little too snarky these days? Costars Maya Rudolph, James Brolin, Dianne Weist, John Cena, Bobby Moynihan, Rachel Dracht and John Leguizamo.

SPECTRE **@@ Rated PG-13 The action movie begins with the secret agent and a woman amid the crowds of Day of the Dead revelers in Mexico City. But the thin plot never catches fire. Bond (Daniel Craig) went rogue, chasing a bad guy, while back in London, a new M (Ralph Fiennes) fights with C (Andrew Scott), who’s about to launch a new electronic surveillance scheme to replace the Double Zed program: something about drone warfare being more efficient than spies with a licence to kill.

Costars Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux and Monica Bellucci.

— MaryAnn Johanson

SPOTLIGHT **** Rated R Inspired by a January 2002 report in The Boston Globe, about the sex abuse scandal that rocked the Catholic Church in 2002, the film follows the investigative Spotlight team as it researches sexual abuse by priests in the Boston area and the widespread knowledge and cover-up by people in power, including Cardinal Bernard Law (Len Cariou). The Spotlight team includes editor Walter “Robby” Robinson (Michael Keaton) and reporters Mike Rezendes (Mark Ruffalo), Sacha Pfeiffer (Rachel McAdams) and Matt Carroll (Brian d’Arcy James). Costars Liev Schreiber and John Slattery. — DH STAR WARS THE FORCE AWAKENS **G@ Rated PG-13 Reviewed in this issue.

TRUMBO ***G Rated R For a drama about a shameful period in American history, Trumbo is surprisingly funny. It’s great how director Jay Roach balances silly and solemn. As screenwriter Dalton Trumbo, Bryan Cranston finds a kind of infectious joy in the unjust “accusation” of being a member of the Communist Party – and being punished for standing on principle: he’d done nothing wrong and he wasn’t going to rat out his friends. Trumbo was among the victims of the blacklisting; he was denied work and sent to prison, and the impact on his life and work was huge. He was forced to write movies under false names, often for low pay, and won Oscars he couldn’t publicly acknowledge.

Costars Helen Mirren, Louis C.K., Diane Lane and Michael Stuhlbarg. — MAJ

Jennifer Lawrence stars in director David O. Russell’s latest Joy, which tells the true life story of self-made business tycoon Joy Mangano.

FILM LISTINGS FILM RATINGS HAPPY HOLIDAYS **** HAPPY TRAILS ***@ HAPPY DAYS **@@

HAPPY MEAL *@@@

SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN

SUN-RAY CINEMA Star Wars The Force Awakens and The Big Short screen at 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com.

THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Wildlike and A Midwinter’s Tale are currently running. Merry Friggin Christmas runs noon Dec. 24. The Man from U.N.C.L.E and Learning to Drive start Dec. 25. The Goonies runs noon Dec. 26. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

IMAX THEATER Star Wars The Force Awakens\ and The Polar Express screen at World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, St. Johns, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING

ALVIN & THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP Rated PG Those zany little fellas are back and seem to be mistaken in their belief that their human buddy/manager Dave (Jason Lee … you know, the devil in Dogma) is going to leave them high and dry when he gets married. Hilarity and mass confusion ensue. Costars voices of Kaley Cuoco, Anna Faris, Christina Applegate, Matthew Gray Gubler (that

MODERN DAY FOLKLORE

THERE ARE A LOT OF WEIRD AND WONDERFUL things going on in the Scandinavian film scene these days. A few weeks ago I was waxing eloquently (as much as my editor let me, that is) on a couple of recent thrillers from Norway, movies that are as good or better than most other such genre efforts cluttering the American cineplexes. Unfortunately, the majority of moviegoers here don’t want to read the dialogue spoken by actors and actresses whom they don’t readily recognize.

Fans of horror and fantasy films are generally more forgiving about such requirements, and so for them (and me) home video has proved a real boon, as can be attested by two films that have recently made their way onto Blu-ray. Both are from Norway (again), attesting that imagination is thriving in the Land of the Midnight Sun. Trollhunter (2010) is another found-footage film, but worlds better (more fun and more original) than most such efforts wallowing in the wake of The Blair Witch Project. The film opens with no titles or credits, declaring that the unedited footage we are about to see is the work of a three-person team of Norwegian college students (now missing), who were intent on exposing the wanton destruction of native wildlife by poachers.

When the paths of the witless students cross those of a Norwegian version of Crocodile Dundee named Hans (Otto Jespersen), they soon learn that conservation in Norway takes on a much larger dimension than they ever suspected. Hans is employed by the government to contain and maintain the troll population in the hinterlands, and lately there have been lots of problems with the mythic monsters of fairy lore. They are mad and hungry.

Trollhunter plays it straight but with a rich comic subtext that in no way detracts from the seemingly absurd premise. The cinematography of Norwegian landscapes is often stunning, and the special effects are state-of-the-art. What really raises the film above similar such efforts, however, is the script and the performances, both of which rescue the characters from stereotypes – the bane of genre movies.

Jespersen especially is wonderful.

Naturally an American remake is already in

brainy guy on Criminal Minds), Justin Long (voicing Alvin himself), and Kimberly Williams Paisley (Brad’s wife).

THE BIG SHORT **** Rated R Reviewed in this issue.

BRIDGE OF SPIES **@@ Rated PG-13 The script by Matt Charman and Joel and Ethan Coen is divided like a theatrical production. Beginning in 1957, the first and more interesting segment follows insurance lawyer Jim Donovan (Tom Hanks) as he defends accused Russian spy Rudolf Abel (Mark Rylance) from charges of treason and espionage. Jim is an insurance counselor doing a defense attorney’s job – this is based on a true story. Jim’s legal partners (Alan Alda, John Rue), the CIA, FBI, the presiding judge (Dakin Matthews) and Jim’s wife Mary (Amy Ryan), daughters and son want it all to be for show and for Rudolf to not receive a fair trial. Jim stands by his client’s constitutional rights and does his best for the Russian. — Dan Hudak BROOKLYN Rated PG-13 Eilis Lacey (Saoirse Ronan) is a young Irish woman just relocated to 1950s Brooklyn. She meets Tony (Emory Cohen) and falls in love. Then something needs her attention back in Ireland and she has to pick her life – here or there? Costars the awesome Julie Walters, as well as Domhnall Gleeson, Jim Broadbent and Brid Brennan.

CHI-RAQ Rated R Director Spike Lee offers an updated take on Aristophanes’ drama Lysistrata, with an amazing cast – Nick

MAGIC LANTERNS

A+E // FILM FILM LISTINGS Director Adam McKay and an ensemble cast score big with this Cannon, Teyonah Parris, Wesley Snipes, Angela Bassett, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cusack, Jennifer Hudson, D.B. Sweeney, Dave Chappelle – amid the violence in Chicago, challenging the racism and sexism it foments.

COMEDIC TAKE on the ’08 Wall Street FINANCIAL DEBACLE

CREED Rated PG-13 “Yo, (mumble, mumble) can’t sing or dance.”

Apollo Creed’s son Adonis (played by Michael B. Jordan) thinks he wants to be a boxer like his father, whom he never knew. So he goes looking for that lovable palooka Rocky Balboa (do we even have to tell you he’s played by Sylvester Stallone?) in Philly. Costars Phylicia Rashad, Max Kellerman, Jim Lampley, Elvis Grant and Tessa Thompson.

THE GOOD DINOSAUR **@@ Rated PG The story begins with the birth of an Apatosaurus, Arlo (Jack McGraw as the baby, Raymond Ochoa as the older version). His parents (Jeffrey Wright, Frances McDormand) believe in him, and help him conquer his fears. To help him dinosaur up, Poppa takes him on a long walk, gives him advice … and then gets killed, leaving the dino-baby on his own and unable to get home to Momma. Arlo befriends a human boy, and T-Rexes (Sam Elliott, Anna Paquin, A.J. Buckley). Pterodactyls (Steve Zahn) and Velociraptors (voiced

by Pixar stalwart John Ratzenberger) try to eat them. — DH IN THE HEART OF THE SEA **@@ Rated PG-13 In 1850, young author Herman Melville (Ben Whishaw) bribes Tom Nickerson (Brendan Gleeson), a retired sailor, to discuss a voyage he’d taken 30 years before.

This voyage, Melville suspects, includes a giant sperm whale attacking humans at sea, leaving them stranded for months with little hope of survival. Nothing like this had ever happened, meaning it’d be great material for a story if Thomas can provide the details. Director Ron Howard (A Beautiful Mind) and screenwriter Charles Leavitt (Blood Diamond) infuriate us by initially having Thomas resist telling the story. Why? Because it was hard, we surmise from Thomas’ reaction. Of course it was hard. Melville wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t hard. Now stop wasting our time and get to the parts the trailers have been promising for months. This is an adventure that can sell millions of books (it’s the story that inspired Moby Dick,collapse we’re told), it seems he economic ofso2008 wascareless not to explore it. Costars Tom Holland, Benjamin Walker, Chris horrible, yet many Hemsworth and Cillian Murphy.of—us DHhave no idea how

POKÉMON THE MOVIE: HOOPA & THE CLASH OF AGES Not Rated Costars Daniel J. Edwards, Tatsuya Fujiwara, and Megumi Hayashibara.

SECRET IN THEIR EYES **@@ Rated PG-13 In this dull thriller, three friends, played by Nicole Kidman, Julia Roberts and Chiwetel Ejiofor, are investigating the murder of Carolyn Cobb (Zoe Graham), who was district attorney investigator Jess’ (Roberts) teenage daughter. It’s now a cold case and the lead investigator, Ray (Ejiofor), is so convinced the killer is a guy named Marzan (Joe Cole), there’s no room for mystery.

SISTERS **G@ Rated R Their parents are selling their family home, so two sisters (Amy Poehler, Tina Fey) decide to throw a final bash at the ol’ homestead. Is it just us, or do Poehler’s smirk and Fey’s condescending manner seem a little too snarky these days? Costars Maya Rudolph, James Brolin, Dianne Weist, John Cena, Bobby Moynihan, Rachel Dracht and John Leguizamo.

SPECTRE **@@ Rated PG-13 The action movie begins with the secret agent and a woman amid the crowds of Day of the Dead revelers in Mexico City. But the thin plot never catches fire. Bond (Daniel Craig) went rogue, chasing a bad guy, while back in London, a new M (Ralph Fiennes) fights with C (Andrew Scott), who’s about to launch a new electronic surveillance scheme to replace the Double Zed program: something about drone warfare being more efficient than spies with a licence to kill.

Costars Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux and Monica Bellucci.

CASHING IN T

production while writer/director Andre Ovredal is currently attached to an Irish/Australian sci-fi thriller called Emergence, currently designated by the dreaded “in development.”

I would rather see his new film than another English-speaking rip-off.

Very different but just as good is Thale (pronounced tah-lay), a 2012 film written and directed by Aleksander L. Nordaas, an esthetic (if not ethnic) descendant of David Lynch.

Basically a three-person film (except for the concluding segment), Thale deals with two luckless guys named Elvis (Erlend Nevold) and Leo (Jon Sigve Skard) whose unenviable job is to clean up after messy deaths. Their current assignment takes them to a remote cabin in the woods where, among other things, they discover a young female hidden (initially) in a bathtub of milky liquid.

Her name is Thale (Silje Reinamo), they discover, but just who (and what) she is unfolds over a spare running time of 76 mins.

Without giving too much away, she turns out to be a “huldra,” a creature from Nordic folklore who is part-siren, part-fairy. We learn her complicated story without a word of dialogue from Silje Reinnamo (in a remarkably effective performance), but the more mundane concerns of sad sacks Leo and Elvis also remain front and center.

A minimum of plot spoilers here, I promise you. Thale, unlike Trollhunter, is more character study than plot-driven, more drama than thrills. It’s weird alright, and ominous. But what remains, more than anything else, is a sense of wonder, like that engendered by a fairy tale, however ominous its premise.

For the adventurous who like Thale, check out Aleksander Nordaas’s new free web series, Made in Mosjoen. It’s Twin Peaks squared ... and then some.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

Peanuts universe too radically. Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, and Linus still occupy an adult-free world, one where Snoopy still writes his novels on a manual typewriter. Charlie Brown (voiced by Noah Schnapp) is still hapless and anxietyridden, and it’s from that foundation that the story emerges.

The Little Red-Haired Girl has just moved to town, and Charlie Brown is desperate to impress her, and terrified of interacting with her. — Scott Renshaw

and why it all went down. This is where

KRAMPUS The Big Short excels: It takes the mortgage Rated PG-13 Didn’t get the present you wanted for the crisis that precipitated the fallout and breaks holidays? No matter; just conjure a yuletide demon to your it into small, digestible that are easy happy home, sit back and enjoypieces the consequences.

The to comedy/horror filmAdd costars Adamstrong Scott, Toni Collette, Emjay comprehend. some performances Anthony, David Koechner Conchata Ferrell. and a from A-list actors, and creative flourishes

few squirmy laughs and you have one of the LOVE THE COOPERS best PG-13 movies 2015.are stressful enough as it is, what Rated Theofholidays with trying find Michael the perfect Lewis’ gift for someone you don’t give Basedto on (he wrote a rat’s ass about … here the idyllic celebration the Cooper Moneyball) nonfi ction bestseller of the same family strives for is a chaotic charade, until surprising things name,Costars the story on three groups happen.

Oliviafocuses Wilde, Amanda Seyfried, Marisaof Tomei, Diane Keaton, John Goodman, Helms, and Alan Arkin, who individuals who see theEdmeltdown looming, was so though great opposite Cusack in High Fidelity. even the John mortgage industry was

— MaryAnn Johanson

SPOTLIGHT **** Rated R grasp Inspiredof bythe a January 2002ofreport in The a firm millions dollars atBoston stake, Globe, about the sex abuse scandal that rocked the Catholic which in turn further engages us and allows Church in 2002, the film follows the investigative Spotlight for aasmore fulfilling payoff team it researches sexual abuse. by priests in the Boston area and the widespread knowledge andwhat cover-up For example, many will not know by people in power, including Cardinal Bernard Law (Len a Collateralized Debt Obligation (CDO) is.

Cariou). The Spotlight team includes editor Walter “Robby” So McKay, in one of the lm’s inspired and Robinson (Michael Keaton) and fi reporters Mike Rezendes (Mark Ruffalo), Sacha Pfeiffer (Rachel McAdams) and Matt surreal moments, has Chef/TV personality Carroll (BrianBourdain d’Arcy James).

CostarsCDOs Liev Schreiber and Anthony explain in a brief John Slattery. — DH

cameo that will inform and amuse you.

Cameo explanations from Margot Robbie and STAR WARS THE FORCE AWAKENS **G@ Selena Gomez have a similar effect, and add Rated PG-13 Reviewed in this issue. to McKay’s mastery of telling this story in a

comprehensive, clear way. What’s more, the TRUMBO ***G script by McKay and Charles Randolph (Love Rated R ForDrugs) a dramaallows about a Gosling’s shameful period American & Other Jaredin to speak history, Trumbo is surprisingly funny. It’s great how director fl ourishing in the early-todirectly to the camera, breaking Jay Roach balances silly and solemn. As screenwriter THE NIGHT BEFORE Dalton Trumbo, Bryan Cranston a kind of infectious Rated R NothingInlike the lovely mid-2000s.

2005, Sanwistful Jose Beatles song. Joseph the fourthfinds wall, including us in THE BIG SHORT joy in the unjust “accusation” of beingand a member of the Gordon-Levitt, AnthonyMichael Mackie and the ubiquitous Seth money manager Burry on the insight perspective Communist Party – and being punished for standing on Rogen ferret out top-shelf Christmas Eve parties every year **** (Christian Bale) looked where this world.

It’swasn’t an going principle: he’d done into nothing wrong and he as they prowl NYC. Rated R others weren’t looking and saw thatvictims enhances to rat out his friends.intelligent Trumbo wasdevice among the of the blacklisting; he was work and sent to prison, THE MOVIE thatPEANUTS adjustable rate mortgages the denied storytelling. and the impact on his life and work was huge. He was ***@ were going to price regular folks out of their And yes, this is the same Adam McKay forced to write movies under false names, often for low Rated G Two of the three credited screenwriters are Craig homes in a few years.

Wall Street banker Jared whoanddirected Anchorman and Step Brothers. pay, won Oscars he couldn’t publicly acknowledge.

Schulz and Bryan Schulz, the son and grandson of Peanuts Costars and Michael cartoonist It’s clear from the outset that VennettCharles (RyanSchulz.

Gosling), enlists hot-headed It’s notHelen too Mirren, far offLouis the C.K., trackDiane for Lane a comedy director isn’t interested in shaking up the hedgeSteve fundMartino manager Mark Baum (Steve Carell) Stuhlbarg. director— toMAJ switch to drama (Austin Powers

and his team so they can all make millions. director Jay Roach recently helmed Trumbo, Upstart money managers Jamie Shipley (Finn for example), and one could rightfully argue Wittrock) and Charlie Geller (John Magaro) that it’s McKay’s comedic background that bring in former banker Ben Rickert (Brad Pitt) makes The Big Short so much fun. But the for financial assistance and guidance. These clarity and dramatic heft that The Big Short three separate packs converge and rake it in. has is a substantial accomplishment and They all utilize something called a credit clearly the work of someone at the apex default swap (essentially betting that the of his craft. He deserves a Best Director housing market will fail, or “short,” rather than Oscar nomination. And Carell deserves the continue to thrive), and when it all goes boom!

Academy Award for Best Actor, bar none. and banks go bankrupt, they cash in by selling And although the heroes win, this is their holdings to independent buyers and ultimately a sad story. These financiers make millions. It’s so smart, you’ll wish you’d understand and are not happy about the seen it coming yourself. institutional greed that led to the country’s The spectacular thing about the film is (and world’s) financial downfall, so it is with director Adam McKay’s ability to translate the a certain amount of guilt and disgust that technical gibberish of Wall Street jargon into they take their almost-filthy lucre. The Big laymen’s terms, which consequently allows the Short is a bit preachy, certainly appalling and, (presumably) unfamiliar audience — admit worse than anything else, brutally, regretfully it, you don’t really get high finance — to truthful. Let’s hope the errors of rampant Jennifer Lawrence stars in director David O. Russell’s latest Joy, which tells the true life story of self-made understand theJoy intricacies avarice will not recur. business tycoon Mangano.of the collapse.

This understanding also prompts emotional Dan Hudak investment in the characters, because we have mail@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

+ EVENTS ARTS ARTS + EVENTS

“Abracadabra, brah!” Illusionist MIKE SUPER, winner of NBC’s Phenomenon and top finalist of America’s Got Talent, performs at the Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts in Orange Park on Dec. 26.

PERFORMANCE

MIKE SUPER: MAGIC AND ILLUSION Illusionist Super, winner of Phenomenon and top finalist of America’s Got Talent, presents an interactive magic show, 7 p.m. Dec. 26 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $16-$44, thcenter.org.

CHRISTMAS CAROLE Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents Bruce Allen Scudder’s musical adaptation of the tale of Ebenezer Scrooge’s yuletide redemption, through Dec. 24. Dinner 6 p.m.; brunch at noon, with Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu; 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $35-$55 plus tax, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER The comedy, about holiday havoc that ensues when two unruly kids are cast in a Christmas play, is staged 7:30 p.m. Dec. 26 and 2 p.m. Dec. 27 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $15-$26; through Jan. 3, limelight-theatre.org.

COMEDY

SHAUN JONES The veteran of Comic View and Starz 1st Amendment Standup, performs 8 and 10 p.m. Dec. 26 and 8 p.m.

Dec. 29 and 30 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $12-$15, comedyzone.com.

CHRISTMAS SHOWCASE The standup showcase, featuring 14 Northeast Florida comics, kicks off 8 p.m. Dec. 26 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $8-$15, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

(NEU) SONICS MUSIC INITIATIVE Experimental saxophonist-composer Jamison Williams offers a six-week course of workshops with local and visiting improv musician-instructors, at Karpeles Manuscript Library Museum, 101 W. First St., Downtown; sessions begin Jan. 30; neusonics.org.

ONE SPARK APPLICATIONS One Spark 2016 is accepting Creator applications; onespark.com.

ARTS IN THE PARK ENTRIES The annual limited, juried April event held at Atlantic Beach’s Johansen Park seeks applications; coab.us.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

WEDNESDAY MARKET Produce, arts, crafts, food, live music, 8 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

Dec. 23, St. Johns Pier Park, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

COMMUNITY FARMERS & ART MARKET Art, crafts, jewelry, 4-7 p.m. Dec. 23, 4300 St. Johns Ave., Riverside, 607-9935.

MUSEUMS

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum. org. Naval Station Mayport: Guardian of the Southern Frontier Exhibit runs through Feb. 12.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org.

Conservation, Beautification, and a City Plan: Ninah Cummer and the Establishment of Jacksonville Parks is on display through Nov. 27, 2016. Julien De Casablanca: The Outings Project is on display through May 1. Rockwell Kent: The Shakespeare Portfolio is on display through May 15. David Hayes: The Sentinel Series, sculptures of geometrically abstract, organic forms, displays through Oct. 2. Women, Art & Social Change: The Newcomb Pottery Enterprise, 20th-century ceramics, through Jan. 2.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992. New works by Mac Truque are on display through Jan. 2. Baseball: Origins & Early History, through December.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. Project Atrium: Ian Johnston, Johnston’s Fish Tales, themes of consumption and material waste, through Feb. 28. Smoke and Mirrors: Sculpture & The Imaginary, 3D and installation works by sculptors Chul Hyun Ahn, James Clar, Patrick Jacobs, Ken Matsubara, Daniel Rozin, and Kathleen Vance, through Jan. 24. Allegory of Fortune: Photographs by Amanda Rosenblatt, is on display through March 27.

THE RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com. The exhibit Black Wings: American Dreams of Flight is on display through Jan. 17.

GALLERIES

ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-2222, archway galleryandframing.com. Christmas in Florida is on display through mid-January.

THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, 2 Independent Dr., 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. The Wildlife Jury Show is on display through Dec. 28.

BREW FIVE POINTS 1024 Park St., Riverside, 374-5789, brewfivepoints.com.

Humans: Sculptures & Drawings by Chip Southworth is on display through December.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The 15th annual Christmas Open House is open through Dec. 24.

FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 535-7252, floridamininggallery.com. Joe Segal – Permutations is currently on display.

HASKELL GALLERY, JIA 741-3546, jiaarts.org. Face Forward, self-portraits by 30 local artists, is on display through Dec. 28.

HAWTHORN SALON 1011 Park St., Riverside, 619-3092, hawthornsalon.com.

Subtle Alchemy: Eric Gillyard and Crystal Floyd is on display through December.

J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 435-3200, jjohnsongallery. com. Christina Hope’s underwater photography, Water Angels, is on display through Jan. 21.

STELLERS GALLERY AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 240 A1A N., Ste. 13, 273-6065, stellersgallery.com.

Landscape: Realism to Abstraction, works by Henry Von Genk III, Ellen Diamond, John Schuyler, through December.

A+E // ARTS

A pair of forward-thinkers showcase Jacksonville’s new music in a UNIQUE DOWNTOWN LOCATION

ALLEY

CATS T

he alleyway that connects many of the buildings that comprise The Elbow, the boundaries of which are Bay Street to Adams Street and Main Street to Liberty Street, is a happening spot. The high building walls, festooned with street art of all ilk, serve as the perfect backdrop for the funky (in a good way) alley that is ideal for exemplifying the Jacksonville music scene. It makes sense, then, that two of The Elbow pioneers, Grant Nielsen and Trey Hebron, decided to create The Alley Sessions, a multimedia musical venue showcasing some of Northeast Florida’s finest up-and-coming musicians.

Broadcast and promoted through The Elbow’s webpage and social media reach, The Alley Sessions gathered a few great bands that were about to show up on the city’s collective radar and produced high-quality web content, with interlacing interviews and live performance, all set against the aforementioned walls of The Elbow alley.

According to Nielsen, he and Hebron had wanted to curate their own content for The Elbow ever since they’d gotten together to create it. “We needed to fund it to get it up and running, but we were never thinking about making money with The Alley Sessions,” says Nielsen. “We just wanted to do whatever we wanted in order to have The Elbow’s unique voice come across.”

That voice was interpreted by the three local acts featured in the sessions. The kickoff episode in November featured local hip hop group ND 20/20, followed in December

by Jacksonville instrumental fusion band Tambor. The upcoming final episode, featuring the electronica trio Tomboi, airs in January. Nielsen explains that all three acts were chosen simply because he and Hebron liked their music and wanted to get more exposure for the selected acts.

Filmed over a scorching two days back in July, the production was an all-out professional affair, with five cameras, cranes, dollies, makeup, and catering. Nielsen, owner of an entertainment media and design marketing agency, describes it as a full movie set.

“It was important for us to use all of the space in the alley in order to visually tell the

story of the music being performed,” explains Nielsen. “The length of time between filming and release was deliberate in order to accommodate post-production editing and animation. We also wanted to temper saturation, allowing each episode to live in the spotlight for a time.”

The project came to life with the financial backing of the Downtown Vision Inc., in the form of a grant awarded to The Elbow to artistically highlight Downtown Jacksonville.

The Downtown Investment Authority, also standing to gain from a vibrant and exposed Downtown, stepped in as well to cover costs.

Everyone who worked on the production of the Alley Sessions was paid in order to further prove that the professional sound, film, and music industries in Jacksonville can provide gainful employment when supported by the community.

As for the shelf life of The Alley Sessions, Nielsen says that they will live on in perpetual digital archive, but that the project itself was created as a short-run series due to the limitations of the budget. “It’s a ton of work to produce high-quality content and there are a lot of working pieces in order to make it happen,” says Nielsen. “If a cash injection arrived for the series, we’d certainly love to continue it. We’re not actively pitching it, but our ears are open.”

Nielsen is comfortable with the brief run of The Alley Sessions because it allowed him and Hebron to do it on their own terms, and with their own vision intact. According to Nielsen, if someone decides to buy a block of shows, he will aim to ensure that the vision and voice of The Elbow is unchanged and that Jacksonville and its vibrant art scene are showcased accordingly.

“My wife and I travel all the time,” Nielsen says, “and everywhere we go, I have my notebook with me. I take notes on all that is going on in other cities and think about these happenings in context to Jacksonville. I notice more and more that we have it all here and that we should focus on letting people learn more and more about what is going on.”

Josué Cruz mail@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

A+E // MUSIC Allman Brothers Band founding member BUTCH TRUCKS makes a stop in Northeast Florida with his new band for a homecoming gig

STAYING ON THE

I

BEAT

n the late ’60s and early ’70s, Butch Trucks arguably had the best seat in the house.

Along with fellow drummer Jai Johanny “Jaimoe” Johanson, Trucks held down the blues-driven beat and rhythmic pulse for The Allman Brothers Band. On the front line of the stage were Gregg Allman (vocals/keyboards), bassist Berry Oakley, and guitarists Dickey Betts and Duane Allman, who collectively unfurled a potent blend of blues, jazz, and rock onto the forefront of the international music scene. Yet almost as quickly as the group attained early commercial success, the Allmans were hit by heavyweight tragedies when Duane Allman, and then Oakley, were each killed in two separate motorcycle crashes that nearly derailed the band. The group survived, though, and over the course of the next 40-plus years, The Allman Brothers Band, with a few breaks in between, would become a touring juggernaut. While tunes like “Midnight Rider,” “Whipping Post,” and “Ramblin Man” had become rock standards, the band was wellknown for an undeniable first-rate proficiency at opening their music into extended, jazz-like improvisations. Twenty years ago, TABB was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, but rather than rest on their laurels, the band members spent the next two decades hitting the road with even greater intensity. A series of changing lineups featured some of the fiercest players around (including Butch’s nephew Derek Trucks on guitar).

Last October, after 45 years, the band reluctantly called it quits. After a very short break, Butch Trucks has seemingly chosen the road over retirement. The now-68-yearold Jacksonville native has been splitting his time between South Florida and the south of France, where he lives with his wife, the artist Melinda Trucks. But he’s taken a short time out from this break to assemble a new group, the Freight Train Band, featuring vocalist-bassist Berry Duane Oakley (son of the late Berry Oakley), keyboardist Bruce Katz, vocalist-guitarist Damon Fowler, and Butch’s oldest son, Vaylor Trucks, on guitar.

The band performs with locals Bonnie Blue on Dec. 27 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall.

Folio Weekly spoke to Trucks at his home in France; we talked about his new band, life as an expatriate, and his not-so-pretty memories of an early local gig.

Folio Weekly: Are you now in the south of France year round?

Butch Trucks: Well, I’ve been here this year since May with my wife. With this being the first year in 25 years that I’m not out playing,

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

I wanted to just get away and take a break, you know? It’s a very peaceful, very pleasant place. There are always plenty of chores to be done. I mean, we are way out in the country.

People always ask me, “What are you doing in France?” And I tell them, “Peace and quiet and getting away from all of the BS that’s going on in the States right now.” And they say, “France has got its own problems,” but where I am, I’m not involved. I’m not a French citizen, I don’t have to pay French taxes … the worst thing I have to do is go and sit in a French consulate in Miami for several hours to get a visa for a year.

with him. He’s that cute little kid of the cover of [the album] Brothers and Sisters. Well, he’s not so cute anymore, but well, you know [laughs] but he is one hell of a guitar player.

Eventually I called up my friend Bruce Katz, who’s played with Gregg Allman and the Allman Brothers many, many times and who’s one of the best keyboard players I’ve ever played with. The band just grew over time. So now we have Berry, Vaylor, Bruce, and Damon.

What kind of stuff are you all going to play on this tour?

Well, we’ll open with the “Hot ’Lanta” every single night, one of the few Allman Brothers’ Since you have a long distance view of tunes I actually got writers’ credits for. But what’s happening here politically, what’s all of the gigs are going to be music from your take on America? that place. We’re kind of rehearsing through It’s the reason that about 20 years ago I long distance, so everybody’s over there and decided to find a place like this because I I’m over here. But I have an iTunes list that saw it coming. Once Ronald Reagan got I just put up every afternoon and just go into office and all of the keys to the Unites down it. I’m looking at 12 songs right now States of America were given to the rich and that, through emails, we all powerful, it’s been going agreed upon and are going steadily downhill. We had BUTCH TRUCKS & to add to the set list. We’re a brief respite during the THE FREIGHT TRAIN BAND doing a tune that Katz wrote Clinton years and luckily with BONNIE BLUE called “Just an Expression” Obama has been able to 8 p.m. Dec. 27, Ponte Vedra and it’s killer. The next try and work through it.

Concert Hall, $39.50-$49.50; $124.50 (VIP), pvconcerthall.com one is an old Les McCann I do look at Facebook a and Eddie Harris song, a lot — the good thing about John Scofield tune, and old Facebook is that if someone gets so radically right, I can just go right in Delaney & Bonnie tune, Jeff Beck, Taj Mahal, and unfriend them. [Laughs.] a really old Billy Preston tune … and a couple of Bob Dylan songs. In fact, I’m going to do The Allman Brothers Band played their last something I haven’t done since my old days show just under a year ago and now you’ve in Jacksonville, Florida. I’m going to sing already got this new band fired up. That was “Highway 61 Revisited.” No pun intended, but it might be a train wreck. [Laughs.] If it is a brief retirement. Did you get restless and a train wreck, it’ll be a fun one. This gig will want to get back out there? be like coming full circle for me. You know, Well, I wouldn’t call six months a brief Ponte Vedra is where I first cut my teeth in retirement. When you play music, it’s an high school. I played with a band called The addiction. Once you really get into it, it’s Jacksonville Beach Boys down at the Ponte something you have to keep doing; you don’t Vedra Inn & Club and it was horrible, man. have a choice. So about six months ago, I was We’d get up there every night and these contacted by Berry and we decided to put spoiled little rich kids would come up to the together a band. He brought in this guitarist stage and they wouldn’t request a song; they he worked with named Damon Fowler and would tell us what to play. [Laughs.] And we pulled out a couple other people and if we didn’t play it, they’d go and get their played some shows. And while we were mommies. Luckily, I’ve grown up since then. doing that, we picked up a manager, Doug I’m not bitter. [Laughs.]

Isaac. Doug picked up another run of shows Daniel A. Brown and on that run, I was able to get my son dbrown@folioweekly.com Vaylor onboard. I’ve always wanted to play

A+E A +E // M MUSIC USIC IC Veteran punk rockers INSPECTION 12 keep fists pumping with an annual Christmas show

12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

Rob sounds amazing. How was that transition?

To be honest, I was a little hesitant about the don’t know if it’s dawned on the guys in transition at first. Rob, between when he last Inspection 12 — Rob Reid on vocals, Pete performed with us, in ’96 or ’97, wasn’t in any Mosely on guitar/piano/vocals, James Trimble other bands. So he was … coming back into on guitar/vocals, Jeremy Baker on bass, and singing for the first time in years. I knew that Tim Grisnik on drums — that they’re bona could be a challenge — would he still have it fide vets of the Jacksonville music scene. vocally? But he came in and took charge of what Local bands — good ones and not-so-good his role was and made it very, very easy for us. ones — have come and gone in Inspection He put the time in, and he got right back into 12’s existence, and the boys are still blending the swing of things. We were kind of nervous excellent melody and bar chords. Most of old about carrying on without Dan (McClintock, groups have disbanded. Inspection 12 began former singer/bassist). Dan left of his own in 1995 — they’ve endured for 20 years. It’s accord and we thought there may be some slaphard to be in a band for 20 days, let alone 20 back, with people saying “No Dan/No Band,” years. Inspection 12 has always had a loyal local things like that. James and I sat on it for a while; following, and the songs (“Labels Are for Cans,” we decided we still wanted to play, and if people “Sweet Sixteen,” “Secure,” etc.) are anthems to still wanted to hear it, we wanted to do it. those true-blue fans who’ve gone to shows for two decades. Along with successes most bands You’ve toured, been with bands with record don’t even sniff (record deal, national tour), deals, had good times and shitty times, too. lineup changes and heartbreak, I-12 has built a What have you learned about what it means to distinctive musical career. The guys may have be a full-time musician? pared down the number of annual gigs to a I’ve definitely seen and learned a lot of things, precious few, but they still make solid music. and I’m still kind of learning what that means, Their latest release, Redefine, is a nice mix of to be a full-time musician. I’m not really sure what they already do well — punk with melody that when I started playing guitar that I aspired and texture — and what they’ve learned to to be a rock star. I enjoyed learning how to play do — mix in strings and piano and focus on themes. Recently, longtime 12er Mosely talked Pearl Jam or NOFX songs, but I don’t know to Folio Weekly about what it’s like to be playing that I was trying to do anything that a lot of for a fifth of a century (face it; not other people were. But I was very too many synonyms available), fortunate to end up in a situation INSPECTION 12 how the band’s evolved, and a side that was successful for a period of 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 25, to a musician most folks don’t see. time. Coming out of that, I was a Freebird Live, Jax Beach, $10 advance; $15 day of, little jaded about what it meant to freebirdlive.com Folio Weekly: It’s 20 years. be a musician or to be in a band; How does that feel? after … that, I didn’t play music Pete Mosely: There’s a lot of different ways for a few years. I’d do the Inspection 12 show, we look at it from time to time. We’re not but that was it. … I went to school. I didn’t know Aerosmith kicking on three very successful what I was going for, but I figured I should go decades or anything, but to be able to keep it because I didn’t [go right] out of high school. together in some form or fashion for this long, I decided on music as my major. Once I took in this day and age, I think is great. I think right that on, I got into playing in some ensembles at now we’re happy, we’re all in our 30s and we still school and some orchestra stuff. I picked up the get to get together and play in a punk rock band. upright bass as a new instrument; at the same I think it’s cool, I’ve always wanted to keep it time, I got involved with Canary in the Coal going as long as we could, and we’re at a point Mine, so I got into a different part of the music scene, with actual gigging musicians, people where we can do it for as long as we want to. who earn their living strictly playing music; but it’s not being on MTV, it’s not the rock star life.

How has it changed for you? Is there a difference It’s the real life of being a musician, not what doing a Christmas show now as opposed to you see on TV. It’s getting gigs when you can, headlining at Club 5 or Milk Bar then? it’s driving however far you have to get there, I think there definitely is. I think before — you’re teaching music lessons during the day, doing talking about going back 15 years or so — for us, studio sessions, transcribing music as a side job, when we’d get together to play shows, it was just all these different things. It’s still in the category for the sake of playing the shows. Now when we of playing music, but it has nothing to do with do it, we want it to be an event. We don’t play out selling … albums, … there’s all these different a lot, we do the annual holiday show, and so I elements of being a musician that really get lost, think there’s a little more pressure. Before, when because people can get lost in the limelight and we’d get off stage at Milk Bar, we never thought lose how important the craft is and all the areas about attendance, but now we have something of the craft it involves. to live up to or worry about. But all in all, it’s Danny Kelly one of the most fun things we get to do, and we mail@folioweekly.com appreciate the opportunity.

I

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

LAWLESS HEARTS (pictured) play with THE BAND BE EASY, TIM FRANK, STEPHEN CAREY, SHAUN TAUNTON, and BLAKE BAGBY at 1904 Music Hall Dec. 26, Downtown.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Dec. 23 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247.

DENNY BLUE 6 p.m. Dec. 23 & 30 at Paula’s Beachside Grill, 6896 A1A S., St. Augustine, 471-3463.

RYAN CRARY 6 p.m. Dec. 23 & 30 at Pusser’s Bar & Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766.

CORBITT CLAMPITT, CANARY IN THE COAL MINE, TOM BENNETT BAND, THE WILLOWWACKS, JENNI REID 7 p.m.

Dec. 23 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8 advance; $10 day of.

DARRELL RAE 5 p.m. Dec. 24 at Sliders Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., Fernandina Beach, 277-6652.

JOHN SPRINGER 6:30 p.m. Dec. 24 at Alley Cat Seafood, Beer House & Wine Boutique, 316 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, 491-1001.

DENNY BLUE 5 p.m. Dec. 25 at Milltop Tavern & Listening Room, 19 1/2 St. George St., St. Augustine, 829-2329.

INSPECTION 12 8 p.m. Dec. 25 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $10 advance; $15 day of.

Fistmas: THEE HARMONIOUS FISTS, GOLDEN PELICANS, PARTY FLAG, The MOLD, DUVAL SPIT 8 p.m. Dec. 26 at rain dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969, $10.

WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, ASKMEIFICARE, HEAD CREEPS 8 p.m. Dec. 26, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

MEANZ OF OPERATION, MOD, CORTELL 8 p.m. Dec. 26, Freebird Live, $8 advance; $10 day of.

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

THROWBACK – A REUNION SHOW: THE BAND BE EASY, TIM FRANK, STEPHEN CAREY, LAWLESS HEARTS, SHAUN TAUNTON, BLAKE BAGBY 8 p.m. Dec. 26 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $8 advance; $10 day of.

5 O’CLOCK SHADOW 9:30 p.m. Dec. 26 at Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208.

SAMUEL SANDERS 10 p.m. Dec. 26 at Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680.

BUTCH TRUCKS & the FREIGHT TRAIN BAND, BONNIE BLUE 8 p.m. Dec. 27 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $39.50-$49.50; $124.50 (VIP).

ROSEDALE, FAZE WAVE 8 p.m. Dec. 27, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

BEAU DUO, MICHAEL DOUCET, HEATHER RE 8 p.m. Dec. 27 at The Original Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311, $15 advance; $20 at the door.

RYAN CRARY 8:30 p.m. Dec. 27, Flying Iguana.

FORCED CULTURE, GENY PIGS 8 p.m. Dec. 28, Jack Rabbits, $5 advance; $10 day of.

FREEKBASS 8 p.m. Dec. 29, Jack Rabbits, $10 advance; $13 day of.

DONNA the BUFFALO 8 p.m. Dec. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $22 (SRO).

THE BASTARD SUNS, BIGFOOT BAREFOOT Dec. 30, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

ASTRONAUTILUS, BLUEBIRD, DENVER HALL, FAZE WAVE Dec. 31, Jack Rabbits THE HEAVY PETS, THE FRITZ, LUCKY COSTELLO Dec. 31, 1904 Music Hall GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, DIRTY PETE Dec. 31, Freebird Live SOJA Jan. 1, The Florida Theatre MANNA ZEN, NEAR EMPTY, EMMA MOSELEY BAND, A NEW DECREE, DARK SUMMER Jan. 1, Freebird Live BREAKING THROUGH, GENERATOR, MINDSLIP, GHOSTWITCH, FOREVER OUR RIVALS Jan. 2, Freebird Live JOHN SEBASTIAN Jan. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall FRED EAGLESMITH Jan. 8, The Original Café Eleven FULL OF HELL Jan. 8, Burro Bar PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE, INNER DEMONS, LOWERCASE G, OUTEREDGE Jan. 8, Freebird Live STEVE FORBERT TRIO Jan. 9, Mudville Music Room NATE HOLLEY, CHARLIE WALKER Jan. 9, Freebird Live SILVERSUN PICKUPS, The DOG APOLLO Jan. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The OLATE DOGS Jan. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MOTHERS, THE LITTLE BOOKS Jan. 13, 1904 Music Hall YO YO MA Jan. 14, Amelia Island Chamber Music Festival OBNOX, X__X, THE MOLD, NOTEL Jan. 14, rain dogs.

TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE, NEW BREED BRASS BAND Jan. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall KARL DENSON’S TINY UNIVERSE Jan. 15, Freebird Live Winter Jam: FOR KING & COUNTRY, MATTHEW WEST, CROWDER, LAUREN DAIGLE, RED, NEWSONG, SIDEWALK PROPHETS, TEDASHIL, KB, STARS GO DIM, TONY NOLAN, WE ARE MESSENGERS Jan. 15, Veterans Memorial Arena KELLEY HUNT Jan. 15, The Original Café Eleven WINTER WAVE Jan. 16, Burro Bar PINK FLOYD LASER SPECTACULAR SHOW Jan. 20, Florida Theatre STEVE POLTZ, GRANT-LEE PHILLIPS Jan. 20, The Original Café Eleven GALACTIC, THE RECORD COMPANY Jan. 20, Freebird Live The TEMPTATIONS, The FOUR TOPS Jan. 21, Florida Theatre GONZALO BEGARA QUARTET Jan 21, Original Café Eleven The COLLEEN & JOSH SHOW Jan. 21, P. Vedra Concert Hall SHANNON & the CLAMS, GOLDEN PELICANS, The MOLD Jan. 22, Burro Bar THE LONELY HEARTSTRING BAND Jan. 22, The Original Café Eleven JESCO WHITE, SNAKE BLOOD REMEDY, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE Jan. 23, Jack Rabbits CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVISITED Jan. 23, ThrasherHorne Center GRAHAM NASH Jan. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ANA POPOVIC Jan. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PATTI LaBELLE Jan. 28, T-U Center for the Performing Arts CHERYL WHEELER Jan. 29, The Original Café Eleven CARRIE UNDERWOOD Jan. 30, Veterans Memorial Arena

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC GAELIC STORM Jan. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PAPADASIO Jan. 30, Mavericks Live JOHNNY MATHIS Jan. 31, The Florida Theatre COLIN HAY, HEATHER MALONEY Jan. 31, P.V. Concert Hall 2CELLOS Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre MOON TAXI Feb. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YANNI Feb. 3, T-U Center Southern Soul Assembly: JJ GREY, ANDERS OSBORNE, MARC BROUSSARD, LUTHER DICKINSON Feb. 4, Florida Theatre UNDER the STREETLAMP Feb. 5 & 6, P. Vedra Concert Hall YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, TROUT STEAK REVIVAL Feb. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ALAN PARSONS PROJECT Greatest Hits Tour, Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra Feb. 10, Florida Theatre ROBERT RANDOLPH & the FAMILY BAND Feb. 11, P.V.C. Hall BLACKBERRY SMOKE Feb. 12, The Florida Theatre MARTY STUART & the FABULOUS SUPERLATIVES Feb. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PATTY GRIFFIN, SARA WATKINS, ANAIS MITCHELL Feb. 13, The Florida Theatre The JAMES HUNTER SIX Feb. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DAVE MASON’S TRAFFIC JAM Feb. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MELISSA ETHERIDGE Feb. 17, Thrasher-Horne Center DON WILLIAMS Feb. 17, The Florida Theatre ST. PAUL & the BROKEN BONES Feb. 19, P.V. Concert Hall PROTOMARTYR, SPRAY PAINT, UVTV Feb. 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre FOREIGNER Feb. 20, The Florida Theatre SUN RA ARKESTRA Feb. 20, The Ritz Theatre ADAM TRENT Feb. 21, The Florida Theatre GARY CLARK JR. Feb. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHARLES BRADLEY & HIS EXTRAORDINAIRES Feb. 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall VINCE GILL, LYLE LOVETT Feb. 25, The Florida Theatre Experience Hendrix: BILLY COX, BUDDY GUY, ZAKK WYLDE, KENNY WAYNE SHEPHERD, JONNY LANG, DWEEZIL ZAPPA, KEB MO, ERIC JOHNSON, CHRIS LAYTON, MATO NANJI, NOAH HUNT, HENRI BROWN Feb. 26, Florida Theatre RICHARD MARX Feb. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ALABAMA Feb. 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The ZOMBIES March 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SOUTHERN CULTURE on the SKIDS March 3, Colonial Quarter IL VOLO March 3, The Florida Theatre BLACK VIOLIN March 3, The Ritz Theatre ROGER McGUINN March 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STEVE MILLER BAND March 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre HERB ALPERT & LANI HALL March 4, The Florida Theatre JASON ISBELL, SHOVELS & ROPE March 5, St. Aug Amph.

JANET JACKSON March 8, Veterans Memorial Arena GEORGE WINSTON March 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MERLE HAGGARD March 11, The Florida Theatre MOODY BLUES March 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RIHANNA March 12, Veterans Memorial Arena BLUE MAN GROUP March 12 & 13, T-U Center GORDON LIGHTFOOT March 16, Florida Theatre THE REVEREND PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND March 16, The Original Café Eleven Suwannee Springfest: JOHN PRINE, DEL McCOURY, JIM LAUDERDALE, DONNA THE BUFFALO March 17-20, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park GET the LED OUT March 17, The Florida Theatre Festival of Laughs: MIKE EPPS, SOMMORE, EARTHQUAKE, GARY OWEN March 18, Vets Memorial Arena JOHNNY CLEGG & HIS BAND March 18, P. V.Concert Hall JOE SATRIANI March 19, The Florida Theatre The FAB FOUR: The ULTIMATE TRIBUTE March 19, PVC Hall ALAN DOYLE & BAND March 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GAITHER VOCAL BAND March 20, T-U Center CHICAGO, EARTH, WIND & FIRE March 23, Vets Mem Arena SETH GLIER March 24, The Original Café Eleven DURAN DURAN March 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CECILE McLORIN SALVANT March 31, The Ritz Theatre BARRAGE 8 April 17, Florida Theatre LET IT BE: Celebration of The Beatles April 10, Florida Theatre AMY HELM April 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Wanee Music Festival: WIDESPREAD PANIC, GREGG ALLMAN, GOV’T MULE, LES BRERS, UMPHREY’S MCGEE, BRUCE HORNSBY, STANLEY CLARKE April 14, 15 & 16 RITA WILSON April 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The BRONX WANDERERS April 16, The Florida Theatre One Night of Queen: GARY MULLEN & the WORKS April 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall A NIGHT with JANIS JOPLIN April 21, The Florida Theatre Welcome to Rockville: ROB ZOMBIE, ZZ TOP, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, A DAY to REMEMBER, MEGADETH, LAMB of GOD, CYPRESS HILL, SEVENDUST, GHOST, ANTHRAX, CLUTCH, YELAWOLF, P.O.D., WE CAME as ROMANS, MEMPHIS MAY FIRE, ISSUES, CROWN the EMPIRE, SICK PUPPIES, BEARTOOTH, TEXAS HIPPIE COALITION, AVATAR, FROM ASHES to NEW, The GLORIOUS SONS, WILD THRONE, DISTURBED, SHINEDOWN, 3 DOORS DOWN, BRING ME the HORIZON, SIXX:A.M., COLLECTIVE SOUL, PENNYWISE, POP EVIL, BULLET for MY VALENTINE, HELLYEAH, ASKING ALEXANDRIA, CANDLEBOX, FILTER, ESCAPE the FATE, PARKWAY DRIVE, ENTER SHIKARI, MISS MAY I, WILSON, RED SUN RISING, LACEY STURM, MONSTER TRUCK, CANE HILL April 30 & May 1, Metropolitan Park The 1975, The JAPANESE HOUSE May 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ELLIS PAUL May 13, The Original Café Eleven SALT-N-PEPA, KID ’N PLAY, ROB BASE, COOLIO, TONE LOC,

RYAN CRARY performs at Pusser’s Bar & Grille Dec. 23 & 30 in Ponte Vedra and at Flying Iguana Dec. 27 in Neptune Beach.

COLOR ME BADD May 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre HERE COME the MUMMIES, NOAH GUTHRIE May 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JUSTIN BIEBER June 29, Veterans Memorial Arena TWENTY ONE PILOTS July 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER July 20, Veterans Memorial Arena

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA

ALLEY CAT SEAFOOD & BEER HOUSE, 316 Centre St., 491-1001 John Springer 6:30 p.m. Dec. 24 GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith Thur. Yancy Clegg Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. SLIDERS, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Darrell Rae 5 p.m. Dec. 24 SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Yancy Clegg every Tue. & Thur. Black Jack Band every Fri.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur.

Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns, 388-0200 Live music every weekend

THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Ste. 35, Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff Dec. 23 CULHANE’S, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Kissass Karaoke every Fri. DJ Hal every Sat. Irish music Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 Samuel Sanders 10 p.m. Dec. 26. Ryan Crary Dec. 27 FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Inspection 12, Flag on Fire 8 p.m. Dec. 25. Meanz Of Operation, Mod, Cortell 8 p.m. Dec. 26. Grandpa’s Cough medicine, Bryce Alastair Band, Dirty Pete Dec. 31 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade every Sun. Back From the Brink every Mon. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 The Implications 10 p.m. Dec. 25. Briteside Band 10 p.m. Dec. 26. Live music every night MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Jazz Night Dec. 23. Live music weekends MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer every Thur.

MONKEY’S UNCLE, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Chilly Rhino 10 p.m. Dec. 25

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Live music most weekends RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Big John Dec. 23. Little Mike & the Tornadoes Dec. 26. Live music every weekend SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881 Live music most weekends WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 247-4508 Live music 7 p.m. Dec. 24

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. B. Grant Dec. 25. Tim Frank, Throwback Dec. 26. Throwback – A Reunion Show: The Band Be Easy, Tim Frank, Stephen Carey, Lawless Hearts, Shaun Taunton, Blake Bagby 8 p.m. Dec. 26.

BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. Live music most weekends DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack every Wed. DJ Brandon every Thur. DJs spin dance music every Fri. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall 9 p.m. every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, The Landing, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. Dec. 23. Jimmy Solari 8 p.m. Dec. 26.

Captain Obvious 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Dec. 31 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 George Aspinall 7 p.m. Dec. 26. 418 Band 4 p.m. Dec. 27. New Year’s Eve Celebration: 7th Street Band 4 p.m., Briteside 9 p.m., Fireworks midnight Dec. 31 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Dr. Doom 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. DJ Shotgun 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat.

FLEMING ISLAND

WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Corbitt Brothers Band 9 p.m. Dec. 26. Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Throwback every Thur. Deck music every Fri., Sat. & Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Highway Jones Dec. 26. Live music most weekends JERRY’S Sports Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Midlife Crisis 7:30 p.m. Dec. 26

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

DAVE’S MUSIC BAR & GRILL, 9965 San Jose, 575-4935 Johnny King Dec. 26

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Live music most weekends. Open jam 7 p.m. Mon.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

BEAU DUO, featuring MICHAEL DOUCET and HEATHER RE, perform at The Original Café Eleven on Dec. 27 in St. Augustine Beach.

CLUB RETRO, 1241 Blanding Blvd., 579-4731 ’70s & ’80s dance 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Capone every Wed. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Tue.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 The Whey 10 p.m. Dec. 26.

Cupid’s Alley Dec. 30. Live music 10 p.m. every Wed. DJ Big Mike every Thur.

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S Grill, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Ryan Crary Dec. 23 & 30. Live music 9 p.m.-1 a.m. Dec. 31 TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Latin All Stars Dec. 23 & Jan. 2. Gary Starling Dec. 24. Barrett Jockers Dec. 30

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Live music most weekends MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood S., 388-7807 Wrekless Abandon CD release 7:30 p.m. Jan. 2 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Fistmas: Thee Harmonious Fists, Golden Pelicans, Party Flag, The Mold, Duval Spit 8 p.m. Dec. 26

ST. AUGUSTINE

CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. Dec. 27 MILL TOP TAVERN, 19 St. George St., 829-2329 Denny Blue Dec. 25. Live music every night THE ORIGINAL CAFÉ ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Beau Duo: Michael Doucet, Heather Re 8 p.m. Dec. 27 PAULA’S GRILL, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463 Denny Blue open mic jam 6-9 p.m. Dec. 23 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Cotton Mouth 9 p.m. Dec. 25 & 26

Overs SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Corbitt Clampitt, Canary In The Coal Mine, Tom Bennett Band, The WillowWacks, Jenni Reid 7 p.m. Dec. 23. Whole Wheat Bread, Askmeificare, Head Creeps Dec. 26. Rosedale, Faze Wave Dec. 27. Forced Culture, Geny Pigs Dec. 28.

Freekbass Dec. 29. The Bastard Suns, Bigfoot Barefoot Dec. 30 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Larry Mangum, Lucky Mud 7:30 p.m. Jan. 2

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS, ARLINGTON

LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 DJ Dohan Dec. 23. Get It Hot Dec. 26. DJ Fellin Dec. 30 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Cameron Jameyal Dec. 26. Live music most weekends WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, 634-7208 5 O’Clock Shadow 9:30 p.m. Dec. 26. Jordyn Stoddard 8 p.m. Dec. 30. Country Jam every Wed. Melissa Smith every Thur. Mojo Roux Blues every Sun.

THE KNIFE

ALL WRAPPED UP

Five easy holiday gifts for the STRUGGLING MUSICIAN in your life AH, THE HOLIDAYS. THAT TIME OF YEAR WHEN we put aside our petty grievances and give of ourselves, when we join metaphorical hands and share our blessings with those less fortunate, when we long for the whole damn thing to be over so we can go back to our miserable, selfish lives. As the carols waft through the big-box stores and kids vex their parents pleading for those goddamned Elves on the Shelves, the musicians around us hope for a prosperous holiday season, one that will bring many useful gifts – like guitar strings and amps and hair replacement gift certificates.

So be cool this year – give a musician friend something really useful. Here are five gift ideas for a struggling artist (read: every musician you know).

1. EGO REDUCER It’s a universal truth of the music biz: If you’re a musician, you think you are damn spiffy. If you can play your instrument well, you’re bound to have followers who hold you in high regard for your technical prowess. If you can’t play worth a damn, it’s OK because there is some numbskull who’s worse than you, and that numbskull will also hold you in high regard.

And unless you resemble Gene Simmons sans greasepaint, you’re probably going to accumulate your fair share of groupies, regardless of your skill level. All of this feeds into the musician’s bottomless ego pit. So why not gift that guitarstrumming narcissist or that mirror-gazing drummer with a little Ego Reducer? It’s available in many forms, and it’s usually free. BONUS! Simply run, on constant loop in clear view of said musician, videos of those preteen Internet prodigies on their respective instruments. Show a drummer a vid of a certain 5-year-old who plays the intro to “Hot for Teacher” flawlessly, or share with a guitarist that 8-year-old who rips “Flight of the Bumblebee” at 500 BPMs. As for the groupies, 38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

just have the musician agree not to mate with anyone after 10:37 p.m., which is like the MasonDixon line of drunkenness. After that hallowed hour, 98 percent of all bar denizens suffer from impaired judgment (it’s true; Google it), meaning any connection made before 10:37 should be considered valid and worthy. (In other words, it ain’t happening.)

2. A PERSONAL MANAGER There is not one single musician on the planet who understands how to manage his or her money, not one who gets how to promote “the band,” not one who has the discipline to not blow an entire night’s earnings on oddly named designer cocktails and overpriced craft beers. Enter: The Personal Manager. Though sometimes pricey, a personal manager will make certain that every dollar made goes into his private bank account, only to be doled out to the musician when gear or food is needed. He will also make certain that the musician gets to the gig on time, can find the way to the stage, and remembers all the songs in their entirety. Of course, this also means the musician will wonder where any potential earnings have gone. Ask Billy Joel. He’s still trying to locate untold millions siphoned from his coffers by his “personal manager.”

THE KNIFE

3. A PRACTICE ROOM Believe me, every musician you know needs this. (Getting them to use it is another story altogether.)

4. HEALTH INSURANCE Throw a lawn dart into a swimming pool full of musicians, and you are guaranteed to hit one without health insurance.

Since most full-time musicians are self-employed, it’s a sure bet that he or she never sees a doctor for fear of exorbitant medical bills. Couple this with the fact that musicians eat crappy food, booze it up till the wee hours, play smoky clubs and often

engage in unprotected sex, and you’ve got yourself a walking cesspool of viral infections, cancers and STDs. So why not purchase a health care plan for that most noble musician friend of yours? You’ll get the altruistic pleasure of helping an artist through the roughest years of his or her life, and since Obamacare covers pre-existing conditions, that rotten kidney will be replaced with a shiny new one in no time. Waiting list? PSHAW! 5. A DAY JOB If you really want to do something nice for a musician within your sphere, help them find gainful employment outside the music business.

After years of banging it out on the cover-band club circuit or, worse, trying to make it as an original artist, what could be better than to kick back in a drab office, shuffling papers around for some nameless, faceless corporation in the name of financial security? Honestly, nothing beats sitting in gridlock for an hour only to clock in for some suitand-tie pencil-pusher who can’t even remember your first name. And oh, the joys of the corporate lunch, where everyone bats around clever ideas and back-pats their coworkers. And when that paycheck rolls in, with taxes, insurance and 401K clipped off the top, you’re taking home slightly more than you were when you played “Mustang Sally” for some middle-aged rat-racers drowning their sorrows – having just clocked out of the same job you just clocked in to.

On second thought, go with the practice room.

John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com

St. Augustine’s 123 Burger House features premium, gourmet hamburgers and wood-fired pizza.

Photo by Dennis Ho

DINING DIRECTORY AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrest aurant.com. F Chef Scotty Schwartz’s traditional regional cuisine has modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. F Southwestern fare; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEECH STREET Bar & Grill, 801 Beech St., 572-1390, beech streetbarandgrill.com. In a restored 1889 home, Chef Charles creates with fresh, local ingredients. Local seafood, handcut Florida steaks, housemade pasta, daily specials, small plates, street food. $$$-$$$$ FB D Tue.-Sat.; Brunch, D Sun. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com.

F Family-owned; historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio.

Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Fine dining, historic district.

Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE O. PARK. ELIZABETH POINTE Lodge, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. F Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian. Porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER Pizza, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. PABLO’S Mexican Restaurant Grill & Cantina, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049. Chicken, carnes, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials. Margaritas. $$$ FB K TO L D Daily

THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F Near historic district. Sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads, made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PI INFINITE COMBINATIONS, 19 S. Third St., 432-8535, pi32034.wix.com/piinfinite. All bar service; NYC-style.

Specialty pizzas, pie/slice, toppings: truffle mushrooms, little neck clams, eggs, shrimp. Courtyard. $$ BW TO L D Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast.

Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F BOJ winner. Second-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront. Crabcakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F 2015 BOJ winner. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S Wings & Grill, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S Subs, 1301 Monument Rd., 724-5802. F SEE O.PARK. The STEAKHOUSE @ Gold Club, 320 Gen. Doolittle Dr., 645-5500, jacksonvillegoldclub.com. Lunch and dinner specials, free happy hour buffets Thur. & Fri. $$$ FB L D Daily

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes, Nathan’s grilled hot dogs. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years.

American pub. 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta.

Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns

To get your restaurant listed here, just call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. fwbiteclub.com.

2015 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

Ave., 381-6670. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. 2015 BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows, Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LARRY’S Giant Subs, 3928 Baymeadows, 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows, 425-9142. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows, 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI Grille, 9551 Baymeadows, Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned Thai place serves traditional fare, vegetarian, new Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Lowsodium, gluten-free, too. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. TEQUILA’S Mexican Restaurant, 10915 Baymeadows, Ste. 101, 363-1365, tequilasjacksonville.com. F Authentic fare, made daily with fresh ingredients. Vegetarian dishes; daily drink specials. Nonstop happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily The WELL Watering Hole, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, wines by glass/bottle, champagne cocktails. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, homestyle vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO D Tue.-Sat. WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. New gastropub has craft beers, burgers, handhelds, tacos, whiskey. $$ FB L D Sat. & Sun.; D Daily.

BEACHES

(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. F 2015 BOJ winner.

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39

DINING DIRECTORY Subs made with fresh ingredients for more than 25 years.

One word: Peruvian. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. ESPETO Brazilian Steakhouse, 1396 Beach Blvd., 3884884, espetosteakhouse.com. Just relocated, serving beef, pork, lamb, chicken, sausage; full menu, bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 F 2015 BOJ winner. Latin American, tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily LARRY’S Subs, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE O.PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner.

Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean spot, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine in, or patio. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style, Delta fried catfish, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily NIPPERS Beach Grille, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300, nippers beachgrille.com. Chef-driven Southern coastal cuisine, dishes with Caribbean flavor. Island atmosphere on the ICW. Dine in or on Tiki deck. $$ FB K L D Wed.-Sun.; D Mon. & Tue. POE’S Tavern, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637. Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet burgers, hand-cut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. Specialties: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot.

Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS Sports Grille, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. 2015 BOJ winner. 20+ tap beers, TVs. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily SURFING SOMBRERO, 222 First St. N., 834-9377. New oceanfront place serves authentic fare – like paella. Drink specials. Dine in or outside. $$ FB L D Daily SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. New craft sandwich shop has Yankee-style steaks and hoagies, all made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily

MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S Pizza, 14286 Beach, Ste. 31, 223-0991. F ’15 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S, 14286 Beach, 223-0115. F ’15 BOJ. SEE O.PARK. LARRY’S, 10750 Atlantic, Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE O.PARK. TIME OUT Sports Grill, 13799 Beach, Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-owned-and-operated.

Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS

AKEL’S Deli, 12926 Granbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN.

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ATHENS Café, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199.

F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S Wings, 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-7087. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. FIRST COAST Deli & Grill, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477.

Diner: pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers. $ K TO B L Daily LARRY’S Subs, 11365 San Jose, 674-2945. F SEE O.PARK. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines.

Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT Pizza & Grill, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. Casual, familyfriendly eatery. Pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials, burgers, pasta, plus gluten-free-friendly items. $ FB K L D Daily

ORANGE PARK

DICK’S Wings & Grill, 6055 Youngerman Cir., 778-1101, dickswingsandgrill.com. 1803 East West Pkwy., 375-2559.

2015 BOJ winner. NASCAR theme. 365 varieties of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com.

Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LARRY’S Giant Subs, 1330 Blanding, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding, Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt, 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove,

GRILL ME!

ANNA BELL The Blind Rabbit, 901 King St., Riverside BIRTHPLACE: Portsmouth, Virginia

YEARS IN THE BIZ: 20

FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Carmines @ Park & King FAVORITE CUISINE STYLE: Mexican GO-TO INGREDIENT: Avocado, salsa and cheese IDEAL MEAL: Anything I can dip.

WON’T CROSS MY LIPS: Black olives INSIDER’S SECRET: Just breathe.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING AT MY RESTAURANT: Joe Piscopo CULINARY TREAT: Just grazing at work.

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S Deli, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com.

F New York-style deli has freshly made subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian items. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. THE CANDY APPLE Café & Cocktails, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717, thecandyapplecafe.com. Sandwiches, entrées, salads. $$ FB K L, Mon.; L D Tue.-Sun. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has served genuine Italian fare 35+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. OLIO Market, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com.

F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri. SWEET PETE’S, 400 N. Hogan St., 376-7161. F All-natural sweet shop has candy made of all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey. $ TO Daily ZODIAC Bar & Grill, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Wed.-Sat. $ FB L Mon.-Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE.

40 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

284-7789, larryssubs.com. F All over the area, Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 33+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups, salads. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snac shack.menu. F Bakery and café has bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies, snack treats. $$ K BW TO B, L & D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S Pizza, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F ’15 BOJ. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S Wings, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswings andgrill.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com.

2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for Americans; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S Deli, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S Pizza, 1620 Margaret, 388-8384. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak, 355-3793, blackshe ep5points.com. New American, Southern twist; locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 &

DINING DIRECTORY 2, 855-1181. F 2015 BOJ winner. Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Local craft beer, espresso, coffee, wine. Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers; sodas, tea. Rotating seasonal menu: waffles, pastries, toasts, desserts, specialty coffees, craft beers. $$ BW K B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com.

Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily.

DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro atmosphere in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger.

Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Wknd brunch. B, L D Tue.-Sun. EDGEWOOD Bakery, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. 68+ years, full-service. From-scratch pastries, petit fours, pies, custom cakes. Espresso/pastry café: sandwiches, smoothies, soups. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET Café, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2015 BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches.

Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F BOJ winner. Juice bar; organic fruits, veggies. 300+ craft/imports, 50 wines, meats, deli, raw, vitamins. Wraps, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily IL DESCO, 2665 Park St., 290-6711, ildescojax.com.

Modern Italian cuisine served in the heart of Riverside.

Handcrafted cocktails. $$-$$$ FB TO K L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual; sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. $ TO B L Daily KNEAD Bakeshop, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617 Locally-owned, family-run; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, sandwiches. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S Subs, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd.,

779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, chicken, ribs. Sides: beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas. HH Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret, 854-9300, obroth ersirishpub.com. F Shepherd’s pie w/Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PATTAYA Thai Grille, 1526 King, 503-4060. SEE BAYMEADOWS. rain dogs, 1045 Park, 379-4969. BOJ winner. Bar food. $ D SBRAGA & COMPANY, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 114, 746-0909, sbragadining.com. Chef Kevin Sbraga’s newest place offers a contemporary approach to local cultural influences. Go-to dishes: hog & hominy, fish fry, carrot ceviche. $$-$$$ FB TO L D Daily SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Healthy, light vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tue.-Sun. SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafe jacksonville.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll.

Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S Pizza, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. CARMELO’S Marketplace & Pizzeria, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. New York-style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats & cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily

photo by Rebecca Gibson

BITE-SIZED

FEELING SAUCY

SSouthside o spot with meals of sscores c EPIC PROPORTION EP

was in a real bowl instead of the usual thimbleUNLESS YOU’RE FAMILIAR WITH THE MAZE OF i sized cup – then the Turkey Dinner creation was Southside eateries, it can be tough to choose a placed before me, and I knew I should’ve ordered restaurant beyond the panoply of soup ’n’ salad just one item. ’n’ sandwich cafés. If you want to pare down the The Turkey Dinner was so large, it was choices for the lunchtime Triple S (trademarked), spilling over the plate. I couldn’t find the bread without the distraction of pastas and burgers, The underneath slices of turkey and mounds of garlic Saucy Kitchen is a good option. mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and On Gate Parkway near I-295 (old 9A), The Saucy gravy. I dug in right away, to avoid a table of Kitchen offers a wide variety of lunch selections, as contents. (Pun intended.) I made it only halfway well as a full catering menu that features its own through the thing before I had to concede defeat. specialty sauces. Customers can order online to The Turkey Dinner was everything it claimed to avoid the rush, or just show up – like I did. be, with no pretenses or unexpected twists. It’s Ensuring you get a custom-made meal is easy. a good way to scratch that The Saucy Kitchen splits the leftover Thanksgiving itch. fare into four simple categories: THE SAUCY KITCHEN Next time, I’ll try a different Fork & Knife Sandwiches, 7860 Gate Parkway, Ste. 116, sandwich, like the deliciously Between Bread, Cups O Hot Southside, 600-5220 unhealthy-looking Mac & Soups, and Salads in a Bowl. thesaucykitchen.com Cheese, or Rigatoni Meatballs It’s satisfyingly straightforward – with noodles inside the and makes ordering a piece of sandwich … because why not? cake – or a bowl of soup, I should say. But there The Saucy Kitchen is expanding its reaches, so are some desserts, too.

Northeast Floridians will soon be able to enjoy its I was immediately drawn to The Turkey yummy fare in several neighborhoods. I understand Dinner ($9), which is literally all the Thanksgiving the appeal – it’s simply (pun intended again) a favorites piled on a giant piece of bread. For great place to swing by for an affordable meal of an accompaniment, I went with a cup of the epic proportions. And when you check out their recommended shrimp corn chowder ($3.50). The website, read the fine print at the bottom. More soup had a nice prawn-y taste with a sweet finish food-related humor! from the corn. The chowder included a heavily Rebecca Gibson seasoned crostini, one that should definitely be dipped mail@folioweekly.com into the soup. The soup flavors the crostini, and the –––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– crostini flavors the soup. It’s a win-win exchange.

Read about more of Rebecca’s local dining When I first laid eyes on my sandwich, I felt adventures at somewhereinthecityjax.com. instant regret. I had been surprised that my soup

BITE SIZED

DICK’S Wings & Grill, 965 S.R. 16, 825-4540. 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Updated Southern fare.

Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 25+ years. Varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323.

F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ONE TWENTY THREE BURGER HOUSE, 123 King St., 687-2790.

From Carmelo’s owners. Premium burgers, made with beef from NYC butcher Schweid & Sons. Wood-fired pizzas, ice cream bar, Old World milkshakes. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. SEE BEACHES.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL Thai & Sushi, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic Pad Thai, curry, tempura, vegetarian, seafood, stir-fry, specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean/French inspired; steak frites, oak-fired pizza, raw bar seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S Wings, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. EUROPEAN STREET Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily The GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plate, empanada, bruschetta, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S Bar & Grille, 3333 Beach Blvd., 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. F BOJ winner. Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, drinks, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. BOJ winner. Local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails, seasonal menu, fresh, locally sourced ingredients. Sunday brunch. $$ FB L D Daily MEZZE Bar & Grill, 2016 Hendricks Ave., 683-0693, mezzejax.com. Classic drinks, basil martinis, 35 drafts, local/craft brews, Mediterranean cuisine. Hookah. Happy hour. $$ FB D Daily METRO Diner, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metro diner.com. F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner.

Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200.

F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Ave., 399-8815, pizza palacejax.com. F Family-owned-and-operated; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Outside dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Ave., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Craft beers, craft cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus.

Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. F SEE AMELIA ISLAND. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954.

BOJ. SEE ORANGE PARK. DIM SUM Room, 9041 Southside, 363-9888, thedimsum room.com. Shrimp dumplings, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717.

2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. 2015 BOJ winner. European-style dining influenced

by Italy, Spain, Mediterranean. Small plates, entrée-size portions, selections from charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

DICK’S WINGS, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Ste. 101, 619-9828. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999.

SEE ORANGE PARK.

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 41

LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO

W E E K LY

FOLIO LIVING

PET

LOVERS’

GUIDE

DEAR DAVI

GIMME SHELTER

THE LAST CANDLE ON THE MENORAH HAS BEEN lit. The dreidels have been packed away. Oy vey, what’s a Jewish dog to do? What about a mitzvah?

Doing good deeds has become a way to connect the Jewish value of tikkun olam, repairing the world, with the Christmas message of bringing joy to the world. It’s sort of like giving a treat to someone in need. Plus, it gives us something positive to bark about. Every little bit helps, especially when it comes to homeless pets. I’ve sniffed out some ways you can spread the cheer this year and get a few tail wags while you’re at it.

Donate a Place in Your Home: Open your home and heart to a pet. Foster homes provide pets with attention, socialization, and a stress-free place to wait for a forever home. The Jacksonville Humane Society invites people to participate in Silent Night, held through Dec. 31. It’s a program for homeless pets to spend time with a family instead of in a kennel. “Silent Night is something we look forward to every year. It not only gives our dogs and cats a break from the shelter environment, it allows families the opportunity to spoil a homeless pet for Christmas and even help find them a new home!” says Denise Deisler, JHS executive director.

Donate Items: Most shelters operate within a lean budget, which leaves little for extra creature comforts. If you’re cleaning out the closets, donate items you no longer need. Clean towels, blankets, and sheets can be used to comfort cats and dogs – the fluffier the better. These shelters also need cleaning supplies, like bleach and detergent, to keep the kennels spick-and-span.

Donate Food: It’s especially important for food banks to be able to provide pet food and supplies to less-fortunate families. Access to pet food can be the deciding factor in whether a family is able to keep their beloved pet or has to surrender him to a shelter. Shelters also need pet food, so grab

something extra at the grocery store and drop it off in exchange for a loving paw of gratitude.

Donate Toys: A bored, kenneled animal lives an unhappy existence. Having toys for dogs and fuzzy mice for cats helps make their stay at the shelter a little more tolerable.

Give Your Time: Many shelters need help with cleaning and caring for pets and keeping the facility in tip-top condition. You can volunteer to walk a dog, cuddle a kitten, or even take photos and write descriptions for their website.

Make a Donation: Any amount of monetary donations are always on a shelter’s wish list.

Shelters rely on these donations to remain open, help treat ill or injured animals, and cover the costs of health care for adoptable pets.

Families are needed to temporarily house pets from now through the end of 2015. For more information, call Jacksonville Humane Society at 493-4567 or go to jaxhumane.org.

Davi mail@folioweekly.com ____________________________________ Davi is a brown dachshund with an appetite for adventure. He loves sweet potato treats, playing at the park with friends, and exploring the unknown.

BEASTS OF BURDEN: PET TIP OF THE WEEK NO GAIN FROM PAIN Dog training courses can be helpful for pets and owners, but some trainers may not be up to snuff on best practices. The Humane Society recommends looking for a trainer who ignores undesirable responses or withholds rewards until the dog behaves correctly. Furthermore, “training” should never involve yelling, choking, shaking the scruff, tugging on the leash, alpha rolling (forcing the dog onto his back), or other actions that frighten or inflict pain on your animal – or you.

U P C O M I N G FIRST COAST NO MORE HOMELESS PETS No pet should go without medical care. Through its free, low-cost and discounted veterinary services, FCNMHP can help you keep your beloved pet. From routine wellness exams to life-saving treatments, a wide range of veterinary services are offered, including vaccinations, parasite control, flea and heartworm prevention and treatment, microchipping, dental cleanings and diagnostic testing.

Free spay/neuter surgeries for pet or feral cats of Duval County residents are available for a limited time. A city license ($20 at FCNMHP) is required for pet cats.

Feral cats are free, but the ear will be clipped and the person(s) who drops them off must also pick them up.

42 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

P E T

E V E N T S

This special is for current Duval County residents only, so please bring proof of residence to the appointment.

Feral cats can take up to 72 hours to process due to large intake and volume. Clients are limited to six free spay/neuters under this program. Call to schedule an appointment.

From now through Dec. 31, existing FCNMHP customers can refer someone and both will receive $10 at First Coast No More Homeless Pets. If you’ve had at least one prior appointment, you’re eligible to “refur” someone who’s never visited. The new customer must print a certificate posted on the website, (fcnmhp.org) (“I’ve Been Refurred!”) and follow the instructions to redeem. The existing

appointment, you’re eligible to “refur” someone who’s never visited. The new customer must print a certificate posted on the website, (fcnmhp.org) (“I’ve Been Refurred!”) and follow the instructions to redeem. The existing customer must first wait until the “refurred” customer visits First Coast No More Homeless Pets before redeeming their own printed certificate (“I Refurred a Friend”). Either way, it’s a good deal for a good cause!

NEW YEAR’S EVE BENEFIT A gala event to benefit Nassau Humane Society with the band Crescendo Amelia is held at 8 p.m. Dec. 31 at Atlantic Recreation Center Ballroom, 2500 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach, 302-6086, details at crescendoamelia.com. The Society also needs volunteers for its dog park and other programs, nassauhumanesociety.com.

BARK & BOWL IV It’s never too early to make plans with your best friend. The North Florida Chapter of the National Canine Cancer Foundation hosts a fun event that benefits dogs everywhere while striking out canine cancer, 6-9 p.m.

Jan. 23 at Bowl America Mandarin, 10333 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville, 571-5829. Bowling, drink specials, and raffle prizes are featured. Teams of four or more must raise $500 to

ADOPTABLES

NORMAN Holiday Spirit Seeks Cheerleader I love smiling. Smiling’s my favorite! If you’re looking for a big, goofy elf for your shelf, I’m the one for you! I’m a very good boy and I know not to lift my leg near the tree. How about you bake some cookies and I’ll be the official taste-tester? Let’s make it a Happy Pawlidays with me under the tree!

For adoption information, visit jaxhumane.org secure a lane to bowl for a great cause. All donations are 100 percent tax-deductible, 877-411-3436.

PAWS PARK, WINGATE PARK This convenient park is open 5 a.m.-10 p.m. daily (closed Thursdays for maintenance) at 199 Penman Rd. S., Jax Beach, 247-6236. The membership park costs $50 to join — and here’s what you and your pup can enjoy: large dog area, small dog area, handicapped parking, restrooms, automatic watering bowls, benches, trees, poop bag dispensers and waste bins.

JACKSONVILLE HUMANE SOCIETY The Society is offering $25 adoptions throughout the month of December, for dogs more than 30 pounds and cats more than one year old. JHS will be open for adoptions on Christmas Eve until 2 p.m., and on New Year’s Eve until 4 p.m. There’s a microchip special this month, too, $10 at JHS’s Community Animal Hospital,

ADOPTABLES

TED

Santa’s Helper Wants to Retire After years at the frozen North Pole, I’m finally ready to settle down in sunny Florida. And like all good retirees, I’m looking to live a life of leisure. If you like napping, cuddling, and admiring your own good looks, we’ll be a purrfect fit. I know it’s a wonderful life with you by my side!

For adoption information, visit jaxhumane.org 8464 Beach Blvd., Southside, 493-4611, jaxhumane.org.

Don’t forget to support the Thrift Store at 8328 Beach Blvd., 724-9242, open 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday-Friday, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Saturday and noon-4 p.m. Sunday.

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS The city of Jacksonville offers this program during December. All adoptions are $40; there’s a form at coj.net; certain restrictions apply. 630-2489.

To see your pet event here, send event name, time, date, location with complete street address and city, admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@ folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event.

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 43

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

JONESINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; THE FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD by MATT JONES. Presented by

SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A NORTH 280-1202

INGMAR BERGMAN, KINDNESS IN 2016, AINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T, BLUEBERRIES & SYNERGY

SOUTHSIDE

AVONDALE AVENUES MALL 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 388-5406 394-1390

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Got U Surroundingâ&#x20AC;? (Vowel play from both sides.)

ACROSS 1 How-___ (instructional books) 4 Kind of bar lic.

7 Today rival, initially 10 Chiding sound 13 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Not my callâ&#x20AC;?

15 VCR FFâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s opposite 16 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ___ quit!â&#x20AC;?

17 Malaria medicine 18 Canniest, for instance 20 Group that keeps count from AK to WY 22 â&#x20AC;&#x153;A garter snake!â&#x20AC;?

23 DDEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s WWII command 24 Denounces strongly 26 Armenia and Georgia, once 29 James Bondâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first foe 31 Former Texas governor Perry 32 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t reckon soâ&#x20AC;?

34 Singer-songwriter Redding 36 Reticent 37 WWII naval cruiser named after a Hawaiian city 40 Night wear, for short 42 ___ Kong International Airport 43 Congressional assent 44 Feels sorrow over 46 Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re known for 10s & 20s, but not 30s 48 Slipper tips 51 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Snowyâ&#x20AC;? heron

53 Sombrero, for one 54 Audio collectibles 56 1929 Luis Bunuel/ Salvador Dali surrealist short film 61 One side of a drill bit, e.g.

62 What student loans cover for 63 Namath, in 1977 64 â&#x20AC;&#x153;May ___ now?â&#x20AC;?

65 Palindromic 1992 album by Bela Fleck & the Flecktones 66 Bauxite, e.g.

67 Maze runner 68 Geesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; predecessors 69 1/6 of a fl. oz.

1300, to civilians Equipment Dictator Astronomerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s view OR personnel Pageant adornment Like a mechanicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s work rag Yell that puts the brakes on Wintertime bird treat Password accompanier Not one minute later Chinese philosopher ___-tzu Tense beginning?

33 35 37 38 39 40

1 Canadian wool cap 2 Catalogued musical works 3 Stonesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; companions 4 â&#x20AC;&#x153;___ Eyesâ&#x20AC;? (1975 Eagles hit) 5 Air purifier emissions 6 Waiting for the London Underground, perhaps 7 Take hold of 8 Restaurant request 9 One of four in an EGOT 10 Dessert made with espresso 11 Steadfast 12 Actress Cattrall

41 As they say, go for it!

45 Denominational offshoot 47 Town square centerpiece, maybe 49 Billy ___ (2000 hit movie) 50 Lampoons 52 His and her 55 Break of day 57 Young Frankenstein heroine 58 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sho ___!â&#x20AC;?

59 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Vaya con ___â&#x20AC;?

60 Bar assoc. member 61 To and ___

Solution to â&#x20AC;&#x153;Two-Way Streetsâ&#x20AC;?

(Hey, look where youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going!) (12/16/15)

DOWN + ( $ 7

' , 1 2

7 5 2 7

& 5 ( '

/ ( 9 ,

2 1 , 1

9 ( 1 ( = 8 ( / $

6 : ( $ 5

7 $ 1 7 2

2 / ' ( 1

3 / ( $ '

+ 2 * 0 $ 2 1 ' 6 ( 0 $ ' , ' + , $ 6 ' 7 2

( 5 $ 6 ( 7 , 5 ( 0 $ 5 .

6

5 $ = ( , 2 1 , $ 1 $ 1 2

& / $ 6 6 7 5 , 3 & $ 0 ( /

6 / , $ 0 7 ( 5 < , $ 0 ( ) / 8 % 6 $ 6 ( '

7 , 0 ( 5

$ 0 $ 7 ,

* 2 * 2 /

* 1 2 7 (

3 / $ < $ / 2 1 *

$ , 0 (

, 9 ( 5

/ ( 6 6

/ $ & (

$ + , 7

: 8 6 6

14 19 21 25 27 28 30

44 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The raw materials at your disposal in 2016 may sometimes seem limited. You might not have access to all the tools you want. You could be tempted to envy the wider resources others draw on. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think these inhibitions put you at a disadvantage. Within your smaller range of options, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be all the possibilities you need. The constraints could stimulate creativity in ways that wouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never occurred if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d had more options.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Do you know what imaginal hygiene is?

Educator Morgan Brent defines it thus: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Imaginal hygiene is the inner art of self-managing the imagination, to defend it from forces that compromise, pollute, colonize, shrink, and sterilize it, and to cultivate those that illuminate, expand, and nourish it.â&#x20AC;? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always important for everyone to attend to this work, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s especially crucial for you to focus on it in 2016. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be extra-creative, and likely to generate long-lasting effects and influences from raw materials occupying your imagination.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The English word â&#x20AC;&#x153;ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;tâ&#x20AC;? can mean â&#x20AC;&#x153;am not,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;is not,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;are not,â&#x20AC;? or â&#x20AC;&#x153;have not.â&#x20AC;? But it ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t recognized as a standard word in the language. If you say it, you risk being thought vulgar and uneducated. And yet â&#x20AC;&#x153;ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;tâ&#x20AC;? has been around since 1706, more than 300 years. Most words that are used for so long eventually become official. Your 2016 journey will resemble the fate of â&#x20AC;&#x153;ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t.â&#x20AC;? Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll meet resistance as you seek greater acceptance of a nonstandard but regular part of your life. The good news? Your chances of succeeding are much better than ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;tâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): My friend John owns a 520-acre farm in Oregonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Willamette Valley. Blueberries are among the crops he grows. If he arranges their growing season so they ripen in July, he can sell them for $1.75 a pint. But if he designs them for harvest in late summer and early fall, the price may go up to $4 a pint. Guess which schedule he prefers? Employ a similar strategy as you plot your 2016 game plan.

Timing may not be everything, but it counts for a lot.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your mind sometimes works too hard and fast for your own good, but mostly itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your best asset. Your versatility can be a curse, too, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s often a blessing. Your agile tongue and fl exible agenda generate more fun than trouble, as do your smooth maneuvers and skillful gamesmanship. As wonderful as all these qualities are, though, work on expanding your scope in 2016. In my astrological opinion, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be a good time to study and embody the magic the water signs possess. What does that mean? Give greater respect to your feelings. Tune in to them more, encourage them to deepen, and figure out how to trust them as wisdom sources.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In 1803, the U.S. government bought a huge chunk of North American land from the French government. At three cents an acre, the new republic doubled its size, acquiring whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s now Louisiana and Montana and everything between. You wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t add that much to your domain in 2016, but youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll expand significantly. Though your new resources wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be as cheap as the 1803 bargain, the cost, in terms of actual cash and emotional energy, will be manageable. One way your acquisition will be better than that other one? The Americans bought and the French sold land they didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really own â&#x20AC;&#x201C; it belonged to the native people â&#x20AC;&#x201C; whereas your moves will have full integrity.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Swedish movie director Ingmar Bergman won three Academy Awards and was nominated for eight more. Many filmmakers cite him as an important influence. His practical success was rooted in his devotion to the imagination. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I am living permanently in my dream, from which I make brief forays into reality,â&#x20AC;? he said. His astrological sign?

Cancer the Crab! No other tribe is better suited at moving between two worlds. At least potentially, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re virtuosos at interweaving fantasy with earthy concerns. The new year will afford unprecedented opportunities to develop and use this skill.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The new year will be a favorable time to nourish a deeper devotion to truth, beauty, and goodness. Anything you do to make your morality more rigorous will generate benefits that ripple through your life for years. Curiously, you can add to the propitious effect by cultivating a deeper devotion to fun, play, and pleasure. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a symbiotic connection between the part of you that wants to make the world a better place and the part that thrives on joy, freedom, and wonder. The magic formula: Feed your lust for life by being intensely compassionate, and vice versa.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Avoid pain, pursue pleasure. Be kind, not cruel.

Abstain from self-pity; ask for help.

Instead of complaining, express gratitude. Ditch time-wasting activities; do whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s meaningful. Shun those who disrespect you; seek those who enjoy you. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t expose yourself to violent entertainment; fill your imagination with uplifting stories. Does this advice seem overly simple and obvious? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no accident. What you need most in 2016 is to refresh your relationship with fundamental principles.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I predict 2016 will be your Year of Fruitful Obsessions. In giving this positive spin to the cosmic tendencies, I hope to steer you from behavior that might lead to 2016 being a Year of Fruitless Obsessions. One way or another, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be driven to express passions with single-minded intensity. Focused devotion â&#x20AC;&#x201C; sometimes verging on compulsive preoccupation â&#x20AC;&#x201C; is likely to be a signature quality. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important to avoid wasteful infatuations and confounding manias. Choose fascinations that are really good for you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Many of the atoms that compose your fl esh and blood werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t part of your body 12 months ago.

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s because every year, 98 percent is replaced.

Old cells are constantly dying, giving way to new ones made from the air, food, and water you ingest.

This is true of everyone. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not the only one whose physical form is regularly recycled. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what will be unique about you in 2016: Your soul will match your bodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rapid transformations. The turnover is already underway. By your next birthday, you may be so new, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll barely recognize you.

Take full charge! Who do you want to become?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your symbol of power in 2016 is the equal sign: =.

Visualize it every morning for 20 seconds.

Tattoo it on your butt. Write it on an index card to keep under the pillow. Gestures like these deliver highly relevant messages to your subconscious mind, like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Create balance and cultivate harmony!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Coordinate opposing forces!â&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wherever thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tension between two extremes, convert it into vital energy!â&#x20AC;? Your 2016 power words: â&#x20AC;&#x153;symbiosisâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;synergy.â&#x20AC;?

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 45

ughtered ated big r Elders, whose of bitch ans hts, the astal gourmets ed uppermal food

g into da police, because room.

25, stole ds to brag side until mber, he . [Press on, 12-1-

Pradesh ali — a k practice ow dung, elp bring of course, , and its ght to eries of on India

NEWS OF THE WEIRD IS IT SAFE?

As if 2015 weren’t bad enough for the Department of Homeland Security (e.g., in June, internal DHS tests revealed its Transportation Security Administration failed to stop 67 of 70 guns passing through airport screeners), a U.S. congressman revealed in December that, based on a congressional staff investigation, 72 DHS employees now appear on the FBI’s terrorist watch list. He admitted to Boston Public Radio that DHS’s record makes him squeamish about our ability to vet Syrian refugees. Being on the FBI list is not a prohibited category for buying guns, either; in fact, the Government Accountability Office reported 91 percent of listees’ attempts to buy guns in the last 10 years succeeded.

THINGS ARE LOOKING UP

The Washington Post vice president of human resources issued a formal memo in December to reassure female employees in its sleek new office building that people in the seventh floor’s central “hub” could not see up their skirts as they walked on an indoor eighth-floor balcony overhang, even through clear glass barriers. The memo cited HR’s “multiple” futile attempts, from many viewing angles, to see no-no’s, and so concluded skirted employees aren’t being scoped. Still, the memo encouraged all employees, when in the seventh floor “hub,” not to look up.

MORE BETRAYAL OF VETS

Dr. Raymond Schinazi was a federal government employee when he led the team that discovered sofosbuvir, which completely cures hepatitis C patients with an 84-pill regimen, but, as he recently told CBS News, he worked for the government only “seveneighths” of the time — and, conveniently, it was during the other one-eighth that he found sofosbuvir. He admits now he made $400 million selling his sofosbuvir company in 2012 to Gilead Sciences, which famously set sofosbuvir’s price for 84 pills to $84,000.

Now, the Department of Veterans Affairs, with 233,000 war vets with hep-C, tells Congress it needs much more money, even though Gilead’s “cut” the VA’s price in half, to $42,000 per treatment, or $9.66 billion. In a

2013 medical journal, Dr. Schinazi revealed sofosbuvir could be made for about $17 a pill, or $1,400 for an entire treatment.

JUST LIKE SHAGGY PT. III! (WADNT ME.)

No big bank muckety-mucks went to jail for crashing the economy and causing thousands to lose their homes and jobs, but the U.S. Justice Department and Securities & Exchange Commission seem proud at least they pressured several banks to pay the government billions of dollars in civilcase settlements. In December, however, activist group U.S. PIRG revealed that of the 10 largest such federal settlements, where banks and corporations paid a total of $80 billion, more than half was characterized as tax-deductible. In addition, all of the $80 billion was ultimately paid by the banks’ and corporations’ stockholders rather than by wrongdoing employees.

NO STOP NO GO NO STOP NO GO

“It may be the most confusing traffic light you’ve ever seen,” wrote The Boston Globe in December, describing a pedestrian crossing in Cambridge, Massachusetts. If the three clusters of three lights each are dark, drivers proceed. If a pedestrian comes along, one light will blink yellow, then solid yellow, then two solid yellows, then two reds, until two flashing red lights in each cluster appear — and in Cambridge (and only Cambridge!), flashing red lights mean ... Go (unless pedestrians are actually there). The city has prepared a 12-diagram pamphlet to explain the whole thing, and officials say they have statistical proof from tests that the system enhances safety.

GO ASK ALICE

Brandon Terry and Ms. Casey Fowler were detained after calling 911 five times to report possums jumping out of their refrigerator and microwave, worms from their floor, and midgets in camouflage. They denied any drug use, but police said it was likely “bath salts.”

(Spartanburg, S.C., November) Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

PUT MY FIRE OUT You: Cute fireman, glasses, looking at stuffed dinosaurs.

Wish you’d put my burning desire for you out with your big fire hose. Me: Brunette, yoga pants, hoodie. Too shy to introduce myself. Wish I’d said hello. When: Dec. 9.

Where: Publix off Kernan & Atlantic. #1579-1216 ALRIGHT NOW! You: Tall, handsome, sweet leaf. Me: Just a duck. Let’s play Jenga @ Across The Street! When: Dec. 1. Where: Post & Edgewood. #1578-1216 GOOD LUCK CHARM TEACHER You: Blonde, glasses, long red skirt and shirt, wrist tattoo, near where I studied for final, grading papers.

We talked, you said good luck, get sleep. Me: Gray sweater, white collared shirt. Coffee, talk again? When: Dec. 3. Where: Bold Bean Coffe Roasters Riverside. #1577-1209 GIFT WRAP MY HEART You: Beautiful, tall, brunette, green eyes, longest eyelashes ever. Me: Secret admirer. We chatted; fell for little freckle by your left eye, infectious smile. Could listen to you talk gift-wrapping all day. Burger and fries?

When: Last week. Where: MOSH. #1576-1209 PLUMBA A penguin sighting that can only compare to Anton Ego’s flashback in Ratatouille; you bring me back to a happier place. Sweaty palms for this lucky bear clearly indicate that we miss each other’s face. One434Evr. When: Anytime. Where: Anywhere. #1575-1209 GREEN SUNGLASSES I see you everywhere. Can I take your sunglasses and smack you with them? You’re too cute for your own good. You’ll never notice me though... When: Every day.

Where: FSCJ. #1574-1209 FOUND UR GIFT CARD, DONATED Target gift card, “To: J_ From: W_” Used card and my $30, bought and donated socks to Salvation Army. Sorry didn’t find you; hope you understand & appreciate doing good for others. When: Nov. 22. Where: Southside Loop parking lot. #1573-1202 CELTIC CUTIE @ CELTIC FEST You hugged me. I gave you band picture. You left with your friends too soon. Been thinking about that meeting ever since. Would like to continue where we left off.

When: Nov. 14. Where: Jax Beach Celtic Fest. #1572-1125 LAVENDERISH HAIR You: Cute, blondish lavender hair, print dress; dropped phone outside library reopening. Me: Riverside guy, glasses, blue shirt; picked up phone, chatted. Met again; you left. Wanted to talk more. Like to get acquainted further. When: Nov. 14. Where: Willowbranch Library. #1571-1125 LITTLE RIVER BAND CONCERT You: Tall, long-haired dude, very handsome. Chatted in box office @ Florida Theatre. Me: Too shy to introduce myself. I’ll be @ Art Walk Nov. 19. If feeling’s mutual, bring me a flower. When: Nov. 5. Where: Florida Theatre. #1570-1111 FIRST WATCH HOT BREAKFAST You: Hot guy, adorable dog; sexy smile, gorgeous blue eyes, captured my heart. Me: In love with you. Hoping you’ll give me chance someday to be your Queen. Let’s run away to the islands together. When: Oct. 31. Where: First Watch Ponte Vedra. #1569-1104 IT MATTERS To me ... in my dreams. Remember still, our time. Your lips, your intoxicating scent. US, together. One night of bliss maybe? Mexican magic? When: Oct. 7. Where: Los Portalas. #1568-1104

46 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015

MOM WANTS YOU Daughter and I outside Lynch’s. You: LEO on bicycle, handsome, great calves! Later, dealt with Walgreens drunk. Little shy … my daughter said to get your attention. Drinks, Super Troopers, Training Day … what’s your speed? When: Oct. 13. Where: Lynch’s Jax Beach. #1567-1028 YOU WAVED BACK GRINNING You: Bad-ass-looking guy, big black truck. Me: Soccer-mom-looking girl, silver minivan. Waved at you driving on 295-N, played a little cat-and-mouse, you got off on I-95-S. Let me prove looks can be deceiving. When: Oct. 3, 7-ish.

Where: 295 North. #1566-1021 NOTHING MATTERS Self-hypnosis can’t stop me thinking from of you. No matter where I go and what I do, I still remember those beautiful eyes and the way my heart jumps when I see you. When: Oct. 6. Where: Luigi’s Pizza. #1565-1014 HOT MINI DRIVER You: Getting in red Mini near SunRay, hot white-rimmed glasses. Drake blasting from car as you almost hit in crosswalk; gave me a thumbs-up. Me: Tall skater nerd, Donuts For Jesus shirt. You Let’s hang out. When: Sept. 29. Where: Five Points. #1564-1014 TALL, DARK, HANDSOME, PATRIOTS FAN Jags/ Pats game. You: Pats shirt, jeans; with friends by bus watching game. Me: Short wavy auburn hair, Jags tank, cut-offs. Locked eyes as I went to sit. Heart skipped a beat at your handsomeness. Drinks on me, celebrate your win? :) When: Sept. 27. Where: Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach. #1563-0930 BOWL ME OVER Me: In the mood to be pinned. You: Lakers jersey. Bowling but said you’d rather play video games. Said you’re about to take a trip into Asia. Can we bowl balls together in Asia? When: Sept. 25. Where: Jax Lanes. #1564-0930 HUNGER GAMES Hungry; got hungrier you entered. Told me you were going east to eat genuine Asian. Wanted to talk more but you had to go because your cousin, Jimmy, owed you a quarter. Let’s eat out together?

When: Sept. 14. Where: China Wok. #1562-0923 NICE SMILE You: Brown hair, thin bearded guy, nice smile, bright eyes, blue “Good” sneaker T-shirt, with friends. Me: Short, thin brunette, blue/white tank, table across yours. Caught your eye, smiled. Like to know you better. Grab a drink? When: Sept. 11. Where: World of Beer Southside. #1561-0916 ECLIPSE RIVERSIDE 9/11 Super-cute brunette, ’80s night, black romper, white sandals. With group. Me: Solo; noticed matching outfi t friend telling you to ask me to dance. Wanted to approach. Group left. Second chance? I’d dance the night away with you. When: Sept.

11. Where: Eclipse Riverside. #1560-0916 FIRE BUG I saw you, late night on a Friday. You were on fire, so hot. Couldn’t tell if it was your flaming personality or that fl aming staff. Night dives, long chats, but why you didn’t you ever text me? When: Sept. 4.

Where: Beach. #1559-0916 YOU WALKED IN TATTOO SHOWIN’ ISU: Black leggings, open shirt, chest tat, soft voice, boots, hopeful eyes, smooth skin. You said black don’t crack. Love to have good time with you; you said futile; keep trying. Sorry about bad night. When: Sept. 4. Where: Parental Home Road. #1558-0916 BLUE ORBS You: Jean shorts, blonde hair, biggest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. I swear they glowed; when I fi rst saw you, lights in the place went dim. Can’t remember shirt color; just passing through, mesmerized by your eyes. When: Sept. 2. Where: Bold Bean Riverside. #1557-0909

CLASSIFIEDS

HELP WANTED HIRING ALL KITCHEN STAFF Gators Dockside is now hiring

for experienced full time and part time kitchen staff! We are a brand new restaurant coming to Murabella Shopping Center near World Golf Village, looking for a team to grow. Gators Dockside is a family-friendly sports bar with fresh wings, fresh hand-patted burgers and homemade ribs. Come and fill out an application Monday-Friday, 10am-5pm. On-spot interviews and hiring will be done. 105 Murabella Parkway, St. Augustine 32092. (12/30/15) BE PART OF A MIRACLE Become a Surrogate Mother and help a loving, infertile couple become parents! Earn $32,000 & up plus expenses paid. Call 888-363-9457 or contact ReproductivePossibilities.com. Reproductive Possibilities, an established Surrogacy Agency, seeks loving women to carry couples biological babies. Requirements: Between ages 2143, nonsmoker and have previously given birth. (1/27/16) PHONE ACTRESSES FROM HOME Must have dedicated landline, great voice. 21+. Up to $18 per hour. Flex Hrs./most Wknds. 800-403-7772. Lipservice.net. (AAN CAN) (2/3/16) PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1000 A Week Mailing Brochures From Home! No Experience Required. Helping home workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity. Start Immediately!

TheIncomeHub.com. (AAN CAN) (1/27/16)

CAREER TRAINING

AIRLINE CAREERS BEGIN HERE Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance, 800-725-1563. (AAN CAN) (12/23/15)

HEALTH ELIMINATE CELLULITE and Inches in weeks! All natural.

Odor free. Works for men or women. Free month supply on select packages. Order now! 844-244-7149. (M-F 9am8pm central) (AAN CAN) (12/23/15) VIAGRA!! 52 PILLS FOR ONLY $99.00. Your #1 trusted provider for 10 years. Insured and Guaranteed Delivery.

Call today 888-403-9028. (AANCAN) (12/23/15)

HOUSING WANTED

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Lonely? Bored?

Broke? Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roommates.com! (2/3/16)

ADOPTION

PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7

YOUR PORTAL TO REACHING 85,000+ READERS WEEKLY

Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293.

(AAN CAN) (12/30/15)

ADULT

VIAGRA!! 52 PILLS FOR ONLY $99.00. Your #1 trusted provider for 10 years. Insured and Guaranteed Delivery.

The Best Way to Reach Better Readers Every week, 149,000 people look to Folio Weekly Media House for arts and music events, commentary and news they can use. Other publications attempt to tell what’s already happened; Folio Weekly Media House tells Northeast Florida what’s happening now and in the weeks ahead.

VEHICLES WANTED

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 888420-3808. cash4car.com. (AAN CAN) (1/5/16)

MISCELLANEOUS

DISH TV STARTING AT $19.99/MONTH (for 12 mos.)

SAVE! Regular Price $34.99 Ask About FREE SAME DAY Installation! CALL Now! 888-992-1957. (AAN CAN) (12/30/15)

PRINT WEB MOBILE SOCIAL Reach The Best Readers. Now. For rates and promotional opportunities call Sam Taylor, Publisher, at (904) 860-2465 or email STaylor@FolioWeekly.Com.

Folio Weekly Media House may be right for building your business.

Together, we will figure it out.

DECEMBER 23-29, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 47

48 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 23-29, 2015