Folio Weekly 11/25/15

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2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015

NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

THIS WEEK // 11.25-12.1.15 //VOL. 29 ISSUE 35 COVER STORY

A BOLD NEW STAGE

[11]

With a little magic, DANIEL AUSTIN and RON SHREVE’s new theater venture debuts at MOCA with some crazy ideas (for Jacksonville) STORY BY DAVID PAUL JOHNSON PHOTOS BY DENNIS HO

FEATURED ARTICLES

THE ENVIRONMENTAL [5] REVOLUTION

COME ON, RIDE THAT TRAIN

BY GREG PARLIER Local group hopes to bring LOCAL ATTENTION to international talks on CLIMATE CHANGE

BY CLAIRE GOFORTH Where does THE SKYWAY go from here?

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FIVE REASONS [21] YOU MUST GO SEE THE BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA

BY NICK McGREGOR The gospel legends remain an AMERICAN INSTITUTION not to be missed.

COLUMNS + CALENDARS NEWS 5 OUR PICKS 6 NEWS 8 BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS 10 FIGHTIN’ WORDS 10 FILM/MAGICLANTERNS 14

ARTS MUSIC LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR THE KNIFE DINING BITE-SIZED

16 19 21 23 24 26

LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE CROSSWORD ASTROLOGY CLASSIFIEDS NEWS OF THE WEIRD I SAW U

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NEWS

THE

ENVIRONMENTAL

REVOLUTION Local group hopes to BRING LOCAL ATTENTION to international talks on CLIMATE CHANGE

photo byy Walter Coker

JUST ABOUT EVERY DAY, AS HEADLINES IN newspapers and news flashes on National Public Radio tell of political battles over climate change in America, residents of countries like Bangladesh watch water lap their homes and cover EYC members their crops. protesting offshore Next week, world leaders will gather seismic testing in Paris at the United Nations Climate last year. talks to discuss how to address the causes of sea level rise and climate change.

In St. Augustine, the Environmental rhetoric, you need to follow up … He needs to Youth Council hopes to bring local lead the change by example.” attention to the important talks and St. Augustine Mayor Nancy Shaver voiced urge President Barack Obama and other her support for the demonstration both to Folio world leaders to make reducing fossil fuel Weekly and in a letter to Hamilton, writing that dependence their top priority. The group is world leaders “deserve our encouragement” doing this by hosting a march over the iconic during next week’s negotiations.

Bridge of Lions in the downtown historic “As we live surrounded by water here in district on Nov. 29. the City of St. Augustine, we are incorporating EYC founder and sponsor Bill Hamilton the impacts of sea level rise in our planning, says that how the nation and the world address as we address our stormwater management climate change is the most important issue for challenges. I would encourage our world the First Coast. leaders to be as clear-eyed as they deliberate,” “The east coast of Florida is ground zero Shaver wrote. for the impact of climate change,” Hamilton The march, which begins on the east side says. “Sea level rise is going to make this area of the Bridge of Lions at 1 p.m. on Sunday, uninhabitable in the future. We may not be and ends in the Plaza de la Constitución able to completely reverse it at this point, but downtown, is part of an international network that’s no excuse for not addressing the causes of demonstrations meant to bring attention to that are creating climate change.” the UN talks, partly organized by the activist Among those causes, first and foremost, website 350.org. according to environmental advocates and In light of recent terrorist attacks in scientists, is the burning of non-renewable Paris, 350.org announced last week that fossil fuels, extracted from the ground and sea. demonstrations in Paris would not be Hamilton and EYC want to see world leaders permitted for safety reasons, and reiterated find a way to keep fossil fuels in the ground the importance of the marches independently and finance a just transition to 100 percent organized in cities worldwide. renewable energy by 2050.

Acceptance for the St. Augustine march has EYC has spent the better part of its been growing. International ocean advocacy more than 20-year existence fighting against organization Oceana, Catholic organization the practice of fossil fuel extraction and for Pax Christi Florida, the local Unitarian the use of sustainable energy sources like solar Universalists, the Center for Biological power, Hamilton says.

Diversity and the Matanzas Riverkeeper have The group is among the plaintiffs in a suit all voiced support. now on the desk of the U.S. Supreme Court, Craig Barzso, president of St. Augustine against Governor Rick Scott and his cabinet for allowing Georgia-Pacific to dump waste from Livability & Sustainability Association, or its Palatka paper mill directly into the St. Johns SALSA, applauded EYC’s courage, and says River. EYC has held dozens of marches through members of his organization will also march the years, protesting the Keystone XL Pipeline, Nov. 29, and help distribute petitions in support of a bill meant to increase public seismic testing in the Atlantic for offshore oil support of solar energy on behalf of Floridians drilling, and the use of neonicotinoid pesticides for Solar Choice after the march. on food crops that would harm bees. The “The time for debate about climate change members also advocate for indigenous people, and the attendant sea level rise is over. Now is the increased use of solar power in Florida and the time to implement solutions,” Barzso says. the Matanzas Riverkeeper.

For Hamilton and Miller, that has never Now, EYC is asking the president to act been more clear. on his pro-environment rhetoric and lead the “We had the industrial revolution, and world toward shifting energy use away from the technological revolution, and this is the fossil fuels. environmental revolution. This is our big task “[President Barack Obama] has been as a society. This is our moment in history,” talking the talk of preventing climate change.

Miller says.

He has said to not address climate change Greg Parlier would fail his daughters,” argues EYC mail@folioweekly.com President Hunter Miller. “If you have this NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

OUR PICKS A SOUPÇON OF METAL

YULETIDE RIVERSIDE

MON

BLEAK Let’s drown out some of this

UNITY PLAZA EXTRAVAGANZA

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holiday cheer and yuletide yakking with a dose of molar-loosening metal! Just like at Grandma’s house! Syracuse, New York-metal hombres serve up the lava boogie-woogie just the like the good Lord intended: dissonant, heavy, and crushing.

Come on out and testify! Dress up like Santa Claus! 8 p.m. with local openers LA-A; Monday, Nov. 30 at Shantytown Pub, Springfield, $5.

REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK

FRI

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By now, your Elf on the Shelf is loitering in nooks and crannies in new, provocative poses and your borderlinehallucinogenic eggnog is being well-quaffed.

Deepen the celebration of this mandatory seasonal mirth at the 2015 Jacksonville Holiday Extravaganza. This family-geared event features a live nativity, tree-lighting, live music, an ice sculpture display, and food and drink. 4-8 p.m.

Friday, Nov. 27, Unity Plaza, Riverside, unityplaza.org.

MEAN AND GREEN DR. SEUSS’ HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS

The bona fide holiday classic for us killjoys, Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas puts a musical spin on Theodor Seuss Geisel’s much-loved tale of a reclusive green grump who decides to ruin Christmas for the town of Whoville. But wait – will he find redemption?

Well, we can promise that a dog is forced to wear antlers, which is always hilarious!

Tuesday, Dec. 1Sunday, Dec. 6 with evening and matinee shows, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, Downtown, $38.50-$83.40; for show times, go to artistseriesjax.org.

GREAT SCOTT!

CRAIG FERGUSON

TUE

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Comedy great Craig Ferguson first found show biz success on projects ranging from the underground sci-fi classic Red Dwarf to hosting a series of shows that studied the archaeology of his homeland of Scotland. In the early ’90s, he crossed the Atlantic and has enjoyed a boon of accomplishments ever since, first with The Drew Carey Show (1996-2003), and most famously (natch) with his much-loved late-night talk show, The Late Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.

For nine seasons, the show attracted a rabidly devoted following and won Ferguson a Peabody Award. An in-demand voice actor, Ferguson currently hosts Celebrity Name Game. 8 p.m. Monday, Nov. 30, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $29.50-$59.50, floridatheatre.com.

FRI

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GIFT-BUYING FRENZY!

CHRISTMAS MADE IN THE SOUTH A certain holiday tradition around

these parts, the 27th annual Christmas Made in the South features more than 300 artists, artisans, and craftspeople offering original and one-of-a-kind items including ornaments, pottery, toys, jewelry, fine art, furniture, décor items, metal sculptures, woven designs, glass art, and photography.

9 a.m.-6 p.m. Friday, Nov. 27; 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 28, and 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

Sunday, Nov. 29, Prime Osborn Convention Center, Downtown, $7; 12 and younger free, jaxevents.com.

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NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

NEWS

Where does THE SKYWAY go from here?

COME ON,

RIDE

TRAIN

AS A DEC. 10 DEADLINE LOOMS FOR THE Skyway Advisory Group to present a recommendation for the future of the Skyway, a local company believes it has a solution to Jacksonville’s Skyway woes. But the advisory group isn’t even considering it.

On Nov. 9, the Skyway Advisory Group met at Jacksonville Transportation Authority’s Downtown headquarters to discuss solutions to the Skyway conundrum, which is essentially threefold: 1) The technology is out of production; 2) dismantling the system means potentially returning millions of dollars of federal grant money; and 3) ridership for the 2.5-mile, so-called “express to nowhere,” remains relatively dismal.

Bombardier Transportation, which designed the Skyway cars, no longer produces them, and four of the 10 are currently out of service. So to keep the system operational, in the not-too-distant future, JTA must either buy cars from another company or overhaul the cars it already owns. Other options include dismantling the system and replacing it with buses, streetcars or trolleys, creating an elevated walkway, or replacing the system with something similar.

JTA estimates that the “remaining useful life of federal investment is $33.5 million and $12.1 million for state.” At least some of this money, if not all, will likely have to be paid back if the city dismantles the Skyway. Of the options under consideration, only overhauling the Skyway, replacing it with streetcars or with a system are unlikely to necessitate returning federal grant dollars. (JTA acknowledges that streetcars might be a non-starter, because of extensive costs to create a river crossing.)

And many believe that overhauling it merely postpones its inevitable, expensive demise.

David Richardson, president of Trident Global Management Group, believes that the proposal his company submitted to JTA solves all these problems.

Richardson proposes replacing the Skyway with the SkyWeb Express system, a personal rapid transit (PRT) system designed by Taxi 2000. This retrofit would utilize existing Skyway infrastructure for its track and replace the 53,000-pound Skyway cars with a fleet of smaller, relatively lightweight cars (approximately 1,000 pounds each) that can accommodate up to three adults.

In this system, riders go to a station, climb into the first available car in a queue, program their destination, then travel at a maximum speed of 30 miles per hour to that destination, without any intervening stops.

“It’s on demand, so it’s like Uber … it’s driverless, which means it’s like a Google car,” Richardson says. “It’s ‘The Jetsons’ for now.”

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015

photo courtesy of SkyWeb Express

THAT

Taxi 2000 reports that in 2006, Honeywell completed a third-party verification of the system and quotes the company as writing, “After a thorough evaluation of the [c]oncept, Honeywell concludes there are no conceptual flaws in the current version of the Taxi 2000 control system.”

Honeywell also found that the time lapse between cars, or headway, can be as short as 0.5 seconds. Skyway’s headway is reportedly six minutes; the maximum passengers per hour it can carry on the six operational cars is 1,680.

Richardson’s proposal reports that SkyWeb is capable of carrying 10,800 passengers per hour if each car contains 1.5 passengers.

Additionally, cars can easily be added or subtracted as ridership fluctuates throughout the day. So the system would be able to accommodate large increases in ridership that would likely result from extending the line into nearby neighborhoods, which many see as necessary to justify maintaining the system.

At the Nov. 9 meeting, group member Husein Cumber, vice president of Florida East Coast Industries, expressed concerns that any substitute system be capable of evolving with the city. “In the next 40 years, if we all do what we want to do, Downtown Jacksonville is not going to look like it does today,” he said, later adding, “You’re going to need the ability over the next 40 years to pivot whatever you’ve built.”

Because SkyWeb cars are so lightweight, support beams for the track are about the size of a utility pole, which means that expanding or dismantling a line could be accomplished expediently, with minimal disruptions to traffic and other city services. Richardson says they are also much quieter than the Skyway and, due to their small size (Taxi 2000 reports they’re about the size of a cow), less obtrusive.

Councilman Tommy Hazouri, who’s in the advisory group, believes the most viable option is adding trolleys to accommodate commuters who use the Skyway and creating a walking path, like New York City’s High Line, from the track. This option seems to have the most support of the group, which indicates their willingness to give up on the Skyway, for better or worse.

JTA has been conducting an online survey to gauge public support for each option being considered. At the Nov. 9 meeting, the authority reported that 80 percent of respondents support keeping — and

extending — the Skyway or a similar system.

Accessing neighborhoods with the Skyway has long been a pipe dream because of the associated costs. Richardson’s proposal estimates that extending the Skyway one mile would cost upwards of $113.9 million. In 2005, SkyWeb Express was estimated to cost between $18 and $23 million per mile. So for every mile of Skyway, JTA could afford nearly five miles of SkyWeb. RS&H, the facilities and infrastructure consulting company that analyzed the various options for the advisory group, did not include the SkyWeb in its analysis. Of its many services, RS&H designs and/or consults on the design of walkways, bike paths, bus systems, streetcar systems, railway systems and more. It doesn’t design or consult on PRT systems like SkyWeb. FW contacted RS&H to ask why SkyWeb wasn’t included in its analysis; a public relations representative said the company doesn’t comment on such matters and inquiries were better directed to JTA. Via email, Leigh Ann Rassler, JTA public relations manager, said the authority selected options to analyze “where there are existing systems in place” and that no matter which option is chosen, Skyway will remain operational for five years.

Rassler says, “JTA … did not include [The] SkyWeb Express in the life cycle cost analysis because the system has not been deployed in a manner that allowed meaningful cost figures for construction, operations and maintenance. JTA has always presented it as replacement option.”

Hazouri says SkyWeb is “a grand idea … [but] when I talk to them, they say basically it’s not proven.”

A similar system has been operational in Morgantown, West Virginia since 1975.

They’ve been implemented in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates’ capital, at London’s Heathrow Airport, and in Seoul, South Korea.

Nevertheless, once bitten, Jacksonville may not be willing to take another chance on a PRT system like SkyWeb. But someone will. Richardson says his company has been in talks with other cities.

“A lot of cities are considering, but they want someone to be first. I want Jacksonville to be first,” he says.

The Skyway Advisory Group will submit its final recommendation to the JTA board of directors on Dec. 10.

Claire Goforth mail@folioweekly.com

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NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

CONTRIBUTORS

REBECCA GIBSON R

““Cephalopods in a Safe Space,” pg. 26

R Rebecca Gibson has been Folio Weekly’s food writer since this past June. A reformed self-professed picky-eater, Gibson likes to eschew Ju her instinctual reactions to new or unusual menu items, take the h leap of faith and try them, and chronicle the experience. Her writing le aand photography can be found on the local food and culture blog SSomewhereinthecityjax.com. She’s also contributed to Jacksonville Magazine as well as the literature magazine Bridge Eight. This week, M Gibson visited Il Desco, a brand-new Italian restaurant in Riverside.

G A Tallahassee native, Gibson holds a bachelor of arts in English from the University of North Florida, where she minored in education. As th fiction, Gibson is currently wrapping up the final installment of a sci-fi writer of music as well as fiction trilogy. She lives in Arlington.

BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS BRICKBATS TO RICK SCOTT AND LENNY CURRY Despite a federal screening process that relocates mostly women and children (an overwhelming majority are widows and orphans) and rejects more than half of all applicants, 30 Republican governors (and one Democrat), including Gov. Scott, are refusing to aid in federal efforts to relocate refugees fleeing war-torn Syria. Mayor Curry followed Scott’s lead and sent a letter to House Speaker Paul Ryan seeking to stop plans to relocate refugees to Jacksonville – home to the nation’s fifth-largest Syrian population.

BOUQUETS TO J. WAYNE AND DELORES BARR WEAVER The Weavers have dedicated $500,000 to endow an education position at the Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville. The core responsibilities of the position include designing school tours, crafting lesson plans for the museum’s outreach programs, creating curriculum for MOCA’s annual summer camp, and conceiving in-gallery interpretative guides for children of all ages.

BRICKBATS TO JARED MANSES The 25-year old Jacksonville man left a voicemail with a reporter for The Florida Times Union threatening to bomb the Dec. 3 meeting to be held to discuss the expansion of the city’s Human Rights Ordinance. Manses, who in the voicemail made it clear that his anger was directed at the LGBT community, was promptly arrested, saying he was intoxicated when he made the threats, according to the T-U. KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A PROVERBIAL BRICKBAT? Send your submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Submissions should be a maxium of 50 words and directed toward a person, place, or topic of local interest.

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015

FIGHTIN’ WORDS

The Community Conversations have begun.

And SO HAS THE HORSESHIT

HR

FOR THE HOLIDAYS LAST WEEK, FSCJ WAS THE SITE OF THE FIRST of three Jacksonville-Mayor-Lenny-Curryinitiated community conversations. The room was packed so tight, you would’ve thought you were at TSI waiting for the Black Kids to take the stage, instead of in a multipurpose room at a community college waiting to hear from a guy from the Liberty Counsel on one side and LGBT activists on the other side.

Even before the event began, more than a dozen LGBT activists waited for the doors to open, a symbolic launching of a conversation they’d been planning to resume since the failure to accomplish HRO expansion in 2012 during the Alvin Brown Administration.

The reasons that measure failed, and the failure of policymakers to move forward until now, have been widely debated. For Curry, who said he was “unconvinced” that legislation was necessary, yet pledged to have a community dialogue if elected, the conversation itself was a culmination of a campaign promise, even if skepticism spilled from both the left and the right regarding the mayor’s disposition on the matter.

The room was jammed; overflow seating and advocates and opponents lined the walls.

Reporters from The New York Times. Activists from the right and the left. Political types like Lisa King, Policy Director Robin Lumb, former mayor Tommy Hazouri, and former mayoral candidate Bill Bishop.

The crowd was stacked in favor of proponents of the bill, LGBT folks and Straight Allies alike, outnumbering the hardy band of mostly aging Republican diehards who came out, presumably worried about the sanctity of public restrooms.

After the panel, during public comment, there was a monolith of opinion, an avalanche in favor of not just the LGB version of the bill, but the fully-inclusive LGBT edition.

The most compelling speaker: a young child who told Mayor Curry she’d sent a certified letter to the mayor in June, in favor of protection for transgender people.

Well. Wait a minute. The mayor in June was Alvin Brown, who (if you believe the Eureka Gardens Tenants Association) had an unfortunate habit of not acknowledging certified letters telling inconvenient truths.

It’s ironic, really, that the least-LGBTfriendly mayor of this century was the Democrat, the guy who came out of the bosom of the Clinton Administration, and seemed to be locked into false 1990s DOMAstyle pieties on the issue.

So chickenshit was Brown that, when asked by reporters in January at the MLK Breakfast what he thought about Clerk of Courts Ronnie Fussell’s decision to stop having courthouse

weddings, he stumbled and bumbled through some soundburst of incoherence, all sound and no vision.

So it’s left to Curry, the former RPOF Chair who very much positions himself politically as a doctrinaire post-9/11 pre-Trump conservative, who dishes out red meat to the party faithful about having overcome the slings and arrows of a liberal media that wrapped its loving arms around Mayor Next Level, to negotiate the HRO landscape, when miscommunication and bad feelings permeated both sides for three years after the bill failed.

Caitlyn Jenner may be a Republican, but she isn’t a Republican of the Doyle Carter and Sam Newby ilk. And to get a bill through that satisfies the activists, it will have to be fully inclusive.

Curry is certainly hearing from advocates of such an action. But check his email; he’s also hearing from Grandma Gums, who worries inveterately about a man exploiting the “gender identity” and “gender expression” language in a future bill to take advantage of one of her granddaughters in a public restroom.

Which is, of course, horseshit. But it’s the very kind of horseshit that folks like the Liberty Counsel, whose panelist last week used to be a member of the mayor’s church, promulgated to defeat the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance in a referendum.

In an interesting side note, two confidence men, messaging opposite sides of the HRO issue, were enlisted by State Attorney candidate Wes White for petition collection, on which White spent $9K. $3K to Raymond Johnson, a guy even Republicans say is as creepy as hell and would like to run him out of the party if they could, who spends a lot of time and energy agitating against LGBT rights and for the Confederate flag. $6K to RL Gundy, a preacher who was against the HRO in 2012, but flipped when the Human Rights Campaign gave him $10K (after he asked for $40K).

It would be nice if we could just look at this as an opportunity to protect the civil rights of those who have suffered enough indignities.

It is 2015, though. America is in decline, the Blame Game is bigger than DraftKings, and the circus is in town.

Events of last week, including a bomb threat phoned into the TU and anti-LGBT KKK flyers around town, underscore the need for legal protections. That was obvious three years ago, though, and the political process somehow didn’t pan out. Let’s hope the outcome of 2016 legislation is different.

AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski

With a little magic, DANIEL AUSTIN and RON SHREVE’s new theater venture debuts at MOCA with some crazy ideas (for Jacksonville)

STORY

DAVID PAUL JOHNSON PHOTOS

BOLD New Stage a

EYES CLOSED ECHOING laughter from theater games escapes the doors of an 89-year-old building and spills out into a warm fall night in Jacksonville’s urban core. In the empty spaces of The Carling, you can make out the warm, playful giggles of Daniel Austin.

Austin and Ron Shreve, co-founders of Bold Theatre Group, put a full cast of five actors through their paces in the building’s shared, open space. They start with an exercise some call Group Count, where the actors sit on the floor, eyes closed, simply counting.

Simple, not easy. They slowly count to 20 together, intermittently, improvising the order through the silence, but if any two speak a number at the same time, they must start again.

On the third try, they get to 19 before Jason Collins and David Gile blurt out 20 in

the same instant. They break into hysterics again. Austin lets them off the hook, and they move on.

THE ART OF COLLABORATION COLLABORATION in theater is king.

In visual art, an iconoclast can defy with a single brush. A musician may travel solo for decades, successfully producing a singular sound that eludes genre.

There are times, of course, when a lone actor or director can rise above the material. But rarely can one carry the entire production single-handedly. And even then, it’s a moment.

You only truly see theater that matters when all the players coalesce — not

necessarily acting as one so much as coexisting, with each contributing value to the whole.

In founding Bold Theatre Group, Austin and Shreve believe a community exists that is ready to elevate the form, push boundaries, add value. Their work, more than most directors, focuses on process, on artistic growth, on collaboration. It’s about community and connecting with the audience persuasively.

They’ve cast BTG’s debut show, with Barbara Colaciello, Katherine Herndon, and Katie McCloskey joining Collins and Gile in “Circle Mirror Transformation,” opening Wednesday, Dec. 2, at the Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville.

When Austin and Shreve think “bold,” they’re not harking back to a Hans Tanzlerera Bold New City slogan. Boldness speaks

DENNIS HO

to them in every work they’ve produced from the University of Florida to New York City to Jacksonville.

They plan to go bold in incorporating theater in new and unusual ways and for organizations and events that might not have traditionally utilized theater to tell their stories.

With “Circle Mirror Transformation,” Bold Theatre Group is also adding value to the scene by guaranteeing that each actor will be paid a stipend. Austin declined to say how much the actors would receive and emphasized that paying actors is not the defining characteristic of BTG, but in a city that’s undoubtedly more enthusiastic for the arts than ever, the change is vitally needed.

And all of that boldness will take mighty forces of support.

“I think Ron and Daniel’s energy, intelligence, heart — and very key: their ability to work with people and be articulate — give them a great opportunity to be successful,” says Colaciello, who plays Marty in this production. Colaciello worked with artist Andy Warhol at Interview magazine in New York in the late ’70s and early ’80s, and has worked in Northeast Florida as a director, producer, actress, and acting teacher for more than 18 years.

THE HILL

OFFERING a view into their lives is no small feat for Austin and Shreve.

While warm and ebullient in person, they’re also private individuals whose work sometimes puts them on center stage or behind it.

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>

NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

BOLD New Stage a

<<< FROM PREVIOUS Now, it’s time to let the audience in.

They are uneasy about this story.

Unanswered texts and emails are followed by my surprise drop-in at a rehearsal, uninvited.

Then, on All Saints Day, we meet for a brunch that turns into a three-hour-plus sit-down.

Their bungalow on the edge of Murray Hill features dome ceilings, Shreve’s art — mostly acrylic pieces, even some acrylic art made to look like charcoal — and postcards that Austin’s grandfather, Sgt. Morris “Moe” Schulman, brought back from Japan after serving in World War II. The home also features their four-year-old black lab-boxer mix, Athena, who is happy to recruit me as a back scratcher during brunch.

Shreve and Austin graduated from UF’s Theatre Performance program in 2010, then immediately packed a truck for New York City, where they took their chances on the granddaddy of theater scenes. “We had nothing but student loans that were about to be billed to us in the mail,” says the 27-yearold Austin.

While living in Queens, Austin worked at a talent agency and Shreve helped manage a dermatologist’s office, while they both queued up for auditions and produced work accepted in the New York International Fringe Festival.

“We were trying to really ride that line of responsibility and risk-taking,” Austin says.

They were enjoying more than two years in New York: the city life, the first snow of the season, even those long audition lines in the cold.

“That frame of reference came crashing down with the third eviction notice. We had to make a choice,” Austin says. They considered their connections on the West Coast, but something drew them back to Northeast Florida.

“I remember very specifically a conversation with Lee Hamby and they were going to start The 5 & Dime, [A Theatre Company]. He was so excited,” explains Austin, who graduated from Bartram Trail High School. “He was talking about a shift and people were more open to new experiences and trying different things.”

One thing was clear when they moved to Jacksonville in 2013 — it was merely temporary. They had a two-year stop in mind.

“We had no intention of staying,” says Shreve, who is now 28. “We were just here to recharge.”

‘NOT THAT INSTANT CONNECTION’ WHETHER they want to read this or not — they’ll hate it — this production at MOCA and many creative efforts in town, theater and otherwise, have thrived on Austin and Shreve’s energy. Their desire to motivate fellow artists involves pushing for more dynamic risks and to go, well, BOLD. They’re not alone in this respect in Jacksonville’s creative scene. But undoubtedly, they’re leaders — and now, it’s their turn to take risks. Austin, by far the more vocal of the pair, departed his full-time gig as communications manager at the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville in August on good terms to focus on Bold Theatre Group.

A San Diego native, Austin met Shreve at the University of Florida in a history of theater course in 2007.

“It was not that instant connection,” Austin admits. “We didn’t really care for each other.”

Theater professors strongly discourage students from pairing up at UF. “It was weird when people dated, because if it didn’t work out, you still had to work in the program together.”

Shreve, born in Honolulu, and Austin eventually started dating and kept it secret as long as they could. Friends spotted Shreve’s car with a play script on the front seat near Austin’s apartment and barged in on them while they were watching “American Beauty,” Austin says, smiling.

Succeeding at maintaining a personal and professional relationship for eight years is the exception, not the rule, Austin asserts. “We work together better than anyone else. It always felt right for us,” he adds. “If I could have it my way, I would work together on everything.”

They look to other couples who collaborate professionally as inspiration, citing two powerhouse couples in the visual arts scene — Chip and Rikki Southworth, and Liz Gibson and Jeff Whipple — as well as Groundwork Jacksonville CEO Dawn Emerick and her husband Al Emerick, who is an emcee, voice-over talent, brand spokesman, and entrepreneur.

Austin and Shreve agree the strength of their families has been the ultimate anchor for them.

“We’ve all been to hell and back. We’ve all had the worst kind of [family] health scares,” Austin says. “We’ve seen that the only thing we have is our love. It’s the only thing that gives us our support and strength.

“We’ve known so many people in our lives who are gay who haven’t had that support.

That’s been one of our biggest assets. ... We’ve always had limited resources. We’ve always had to work.

“But the love of family, that can keep a candle lit, as shitty and stormy as it can be.”

Since moving to Jacksonville in 2013, Shreve and Austin have worked in prominent community and artistic roles.

Shreve is the former stage manager at Players by the Sea, and he directed “Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson” at the theater to a 2013 Best of Jax award from Folio Weekly readers. His direction of “All New People” for The 5 & Dime also proved innovative, and he now teaches acting for Cathedral Arts Project through the Any Given Child program.

“My strengths that developed at UF were in putting on productions, not being in them,” Shreve says. “I get more joy getting people on stage and getting them to shine.”

Austin has drawn raves — mine among them — for his over-the-top King Herod in “Jesus Christ Superstar,” his direction of “Venus in Fur” at Players by the Sea, and his roles in “Lombardi” and “Forbidden Broadway” at Theatre Jacksonville. Off stage, he’s worked in communications roles at the Cultural Council and JCCI. He also emceed the One Spark Speakers Summit earlier this year, and has served as a volunteer for TEDxJacksonville. (Full disclosure: I’m also a volunteer with the group.)

Austin is currently filming his fifth episode as host of “Hometown” — WJCT’s locally produced TV series, now in its fourth season — which features stories of significant people, places and events in the community.

Past episodes are available on WJCT.org and a mobile app that debuted in October.

His new role as TV host underscores his talent and the strong connections to Jacksonville that he’s formed in a short time — as well as a hard-to-pin-down trait

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015

ABOVE: “Daniel’s ability to connect with people is incredible,” says a former collaborator of Austin’s (top), who, aside from his work with Bold Theatre Group, is the host of WJCT’s “Hometown.” BELOW: Jason Collins (front), David Gile (left), Barbara Coleciello (hidden), and Katherine Herndon (right) at rehearsal for “Circle Mirror Transformation.” that WJCT Vice President Karen Feagins observed quickly. It’s a rare warmth and openness, but something more.

“In public broadcasting, we have something called ‘hostiness,’ ” she says, laughing. “It’s hard to describe what that it is. A person could deliver the same lines, and you wouldn’t have that feeling. You know who has it, and you know who doesn’t, and Daniel has it.”

ART ISN’T FREE

AUSTIN and Shreve accept grudgingly that the fact that they pay actors will grab bolder headlines than their other goals. That effort isn’t intended as an either/or proposition to be weighed against the rest of the scene, especially at a time when Northeast Florida theater is more diverse than it’s been in decades, while attracting more enthusiastic audiences than ever.

Players by the Sea, Theatre Jacksonville, Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre, Limelight Theatre, and Stage Aurora Theatrical Company continue to take risks and produce significant work, while generally employing a successful model of passionate, volunteer actors.

The Alhambra Theatre has enjoyed a resurgence under managing partner Craig Smith as an equity theater that’s paid actors for decades, while the FSCJ Artist Series continues to bring quality touring productions here.

And Bold Theatre’s goal of paying its actors has precedent in Jacksonville.

Jacksonville Actors Theatre, founded in 1982, paid actors for years before closing in 1993. Actors have made honorarium during other productions, and more recently, The 5 & Dime has given actors a stipend for certain productions, Hamby says.

But the question remains why paying actors is not a given when few art patrons would expect a visual artist or musician to consistently work for free.

Katherine Herndon, a junior at Douglas Anderson School of the Arts who plays Lauren in “Circle Mirror Transformation,” says she didn’t even know they would be paid until after she won the part. At 16 years old and performing in her first major Northeast Florida production, Herndon says that “the fact we’re getting paid to do something we love is amazing.”

Jason Collins, who plays Schultz, sees the effort as a crucial step. “Performers would like to know that their work is being rewarded even if it’s just a stipend,” Collins says. Collins worked on touring productions in upstate New York and as an equity actor in Minneapolis.

“Just that Ron and Daniel are saying actors should be compensated is important for the city. You’re in it for the art, but to be compensated it is a nice thank you.”

ANSWERS ON 54TH STREET FOUR days after that brunch in Murray Hill, I sit across from one of Austin and

Shreve’s former collaborators in Manhattan.

Luke Weidner is nibbling on a breakfast sandwich at the Cascade Café. We sit less than 140 feet away from the site of the original Studio 54 in Midtown. A little further down 54th Street on the 12th floor is Shetler Studios & Theatres, where Austin and Shreve rehearsed some of their projects.

Weidner has fond memories of working with Shreve and Austin on projects in Jacksonville and in New York City. (Their time in both cities overlapped.)

“Everything they’ve done is brilliant, no matter how large their resource pool is,” says Weidner. “There are very few people who can take nothing and turn it into something amazing like they can. I’ve absolutely loved working with them.”

He recalls meeting them at Bartram Trail when he, still a high school student, would benefit from Austin returning as a graduate with Shreve, showing them techniques they had learned at UF. Though Shreve often defers to the more vocal Austin in interviews, those who’ve been in rehearsals have seen his direction in action.

“We were working on something in New York, one of the actors was getting a little frustrated. They said, ‘Just tell me what you want!’ Ron said, ‘I just want you to try it.’ There’s no wrong answer with them,” says Weidner, who moved back to New York City in 2014.

He’s now the stage theater operations assistant for Jujamcyn Theaters, which owns and manages major theater houses putting on Broadway shows — among them “The Book of Mormon,” “The Crucible,” and “Jersey Boys.”

No one mistakes Jacksonville as a city seeking to match New York’s scene, but many in the theater community here would love to see it push to become more of a regional player while working to support local talent and attract more.

Weidner keeps it real.

“Actors in Jacksonville would probably be thrilled to have a gas card,” as payment for a show, he says.

Ian Mairs, who founded Swamp Radio in 2013 after cofounding Jacksonville Actors Theatre in the 1980s, says the onus remains on both the performer and the audience.

“The guest soloist at the symphony has not been temping all day,” Mairs says. “But the challenge is that the artist must start bringing a more compelling product to the market. You have to turn to the artist’s side and say, ‘What have you been doing to improve artistically?’ ” Austin and Shreve’s collaborators — past and present — say the two are always ready to put in the hard work.

“Failure is essential, and theater teaches you that,” Shreve says. “Apathy has no place.”

McCloskey, a Theatre Arts graduate from Florida State University who plays Theresa in this production, says it’s difficult to pin down any division of labor between Shreve and Austin, as they both excel at side-coaching and artistic direction. They both bring the same sensibility to pursuing a sense of physicality on stage that emanates at least partially from being dance minors at UF.

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“They may set themselves apart in their methods and the type of show. I can see a lot of actors in this town being attracted to that,” sys Gile, who plays James.

“It’s like watching dueling piano players,” McCloskey says of Austin and Shreve. “It’s the same song, but they’re playing different parts.”

That emphasis on the discovery process has impressed. “By the time you get into the theater games, it connects to your character, what you’re doing in the play, and real life,” Herndon says.

Not coincidentally, theater games prove central to the action of Bold Theatre Group’s debut show.

In this Annie Baker play from 2009, winner of the Obie for Best New American Play, strangers sign up for creative drama classes with Marty, the instructor, and her husband in the small town of Shirley, Vermont.

While playing theater games awkwardly over the course of six weeks, they betray their feelings toward one another. The play is produced by Bold Theatre in conjunction with MOCA’s “Smoke and Mirrors” exhibit.

FINDING PURPOSE

WEIDNER and other former collaborators who’ve gone on to bigger stages believe that with Shreve’s artistic direction and Austin’s energy, the pair’s bold ideas on process and taking productions into the everyday will resonate.

“Daniel’s ability to connect with people is incredible, and he can articulate things in a very beautiful way,” Weidner says.

“They are both very thoughtful as directors as well and extremely incisive,” says Amanda Morales, who starred in Austin’s “Venus in Fur” here. She now lives and acts in New York City, and has been filming recently on location in Kentucky for a web series called “Dagger Kiss.”

Enthusiasm for local theater appears to be peaking at the right time for Austin and Shreve.

“This is another pinnacle for theater in Jacksonville,” says Hamby, of The 5 & Dime.

“If we’re growing new audiences, that just means those audiences are going to love theater and seek out new theater.”

Shreve and Austin are prepared for unconventional projects — everything from material for board retreats to using theater to teach leadership and improvisational skills for adults and children.

“I’m working behind the scenes with a group of people who are currently planning and getting ready to release an exciting digital resource for local actors, the theaters, and especially patrons,” Austin says. “Soon, there’ll be no hiding the gems of our theater community on the First Coast.”

Austin, the master of the tease whether on WJCT or in real life, adds, “Stay tuned for the launch of that project in early 2016.”

And after once believing that Jacksonville was just a two-year stopgap to recharge, Shreve and Austin are more connected to the community than ever.

But Bold Theatre Group isn’t merely about wide-eyed opportunity; it’s about finding a purpose that they sensed when they left UF. “Our dream was really, if we could be working in all this stuff we loved to do, if that could make other people happy, if that could produce productions, we would be happy,” Austin says.

“The work we’re doing makes sense for not only us — but also Jacksonville. We both need to have some type of purpose. I think we found purpose here.”

David Paul Johnson mail@folioweekly.com NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

A&E // FILM An able ensemble cast can’t save this thriller from the CRIME OF OBVIOUSNESS

BLIND AMBITION A

murder 13 years before. A cold case now reopened. Three longtime friends, played by Nicole Kidman, Julia Roberts and Chiwetel Ejiofor, entwined in the investigation. A red-hot screenwriter, Billy Ray (Captain Phillips, The Hunger Games), in his third directorial effort, backed by a solid cast and a dark, grimy L.A. backdrop. Yes, Secret In Their Eyes has all the ingredients of a top-notch murder/mystery/thriller.

And yet it stinks.

More than anything, it’s dull. We’re supposed to be engrossed in finding the killer of Carolyn Cobb (Zoe Graham), who was district attorney investigator Jess’ (Roberts) teenage daughter. However, the lead investigator, Ray (Ejiofor), is so convinced the killer is a guy named Marzan (Joe Cole), there’s no room for mystery. The story becomes a matter of catching Marzan and Marzan only, a process delayed by flashbacks to 13 years earlier when Ray, Jess, and their colleague Claire (Kidman) first began the investigation. There’s very little in these flashbacks of much significance to the present, which bloats the running time to 111 minutes — and doesn’t make the movie any more interesting.

If you’re like me, you’ll wait for — and expect — a plot twist that never comes. Maybe

PRIVATE PARTS

THE RECENT APPEARANCE OF JOHN CLEESE and Eric Idle in Northeast Florida sent me on a trip down memory lane to two films I hadn’t seen in 25-plus years but which I remembered (somewhat vaguely, to be honest) with great fondness. Both starred former members of Monty Python, and I’m happy to say the movies proved to be even better than I remembered.

Privates on Parade (1983) stars John Cleese, and A Private Function (1984) features Michael Palin (and Maggie Smith). Both were produced

by George Harrison’s Handmade Films, and each is set in 1947 – Privates in Malaya and Function in a small Yorkshire town in England.

Each one is very funny, and the opening scenes of both feature a contemporary newsreel setting the background for what follows. The similarities end there.

Adapted by Peter Nichols from his own stage revue, Privates on Parade deals with a troupe of Army entertainers with the sobriquet SADUSEA (Song and Dance Unit of South East Asia) who put on shows to entertain His Majesty’s Forces involved in routing the Communists from Malaya. Cleese is Major Giles Flack, an avowed anti-Communist and English patriot devoted to God and country. The troupe of men (and one woman) under him are something else.

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015

the killer is fellow investigator Siefert (Michael The actors do what they can with Kelly), you’ll think, who covers up for Marzan the material, but with this story, it’s a early on. Or maybe it’s good guy investigator thankless task. It also doesn’t help that Bumpy (Dean Norris), whom we don’t know Ray is given little motivation regarding his much about but is played by a big-enough determination to solve the case, that Jess star (he was Hank in Breaking Bad) that it doesn’t have much to do besides look angry could be him (they wouldn’t give a big reveal for most of the movie, and that Claire, once to a nobody, after all). Or the a young, rising attorney, is killer could even be current relegated to little more than SECRET IN THEIR EYES a love interest in the film’s D.A. Martin Morales (Alfred Molina) who looks the other second half. So much more **@@ way during the murder could have, and should Rated PG-13 investigation because he have been done with each believes a possibly-Al-Qaedacharacter to make them infested mosque in L.A. to be more important essential, not superfluous. than a dead teenager.

Having seen Secret in Their Eyes, I’m Perhaps you wouldn’t spend so much time now thinking of what’s worse than a thinking about possible plot twists if there was murder mystery without suspense. more going on in the main storyline, but it’s Probably an action movie that doesn’t all woefully slow. If Secret in Their Eyes has a excite (Spectre), a comedy that isn’t funny fatal mistake, it’s this: It takes what could’ve (Rock the Kasbah), and/or a horror story that’s never spooky (Crimson Peak). All been a compelling whodunit and ruins any are major film faux pas that should be would-be tension by giving us only one unacceptable to consumers demanding person who could’ve “dunit” and spends the quality for their hard-earned dollars. whole movie chasing that one guy. A nearly Dan Hudak two-hour chase is bound to grow tiresome, mail@folioweekly.com unless your name is Mad Max. Denis Quilley (in a brilliant performance) is Captain Teri Davis, troupe leader and flaming queen, trying to make the best of a bad situation. His cohorts (nearly all are unfamiliar to most American audiences) sing and dance their hearts and souls out, oblivious of the chaos around them.

Like Quilley and Cleese, the musical numbers are hilarious, but Privates on Parade occasionally veers unexpectedly into drama, almost tragedy near the end, underscoring the intended satire but unfortunately upsetting the tone – at least a bit. For the most part, though, the madcap irreverent humor is right on target.

Meanwhile back in Yorkshire, the folks in the small town in A Private Function are trying to deal with the austerity programs of 1947, even as they prepare to celebrate the wedding of Princess Elizabeth to Philip, Duke of Edinburgh.

The town’s elite (headed by the marvelous Denholm Elliott as an irascible physician, openly contemptuous of the common rabble as well as his colleagues) have been secretly fattening up a pig (procured illegally) for a banquet to celebrate the royal nuptials and highlight their own social status in the process.

Mild-mannered Gilbert Chilvers (Palin), a lowly chiropodist, is trying to make ends meet by plying his trade on people’s bunions and toenails. His wife Joyce (Maggie Smith), organist at the local cinema and resident piano teacher, has her eyes on a higher social standing, though she currently

MAGIC LANTERNS

has her hands full dealing with her 74-year-old mother who’s on the verge of dementia.

The answer to everyone’s immediate appetite, physical as well as social, turns out to be the plump porker (nicknamed Betty) who herself is afflicted with a nasty intestinal disorder, causing odoriferous problems for whoever is stealing her at the moment.

The wonderful supporting cast includes Richard Griffiths (Uncle Vernon in Harry Potter movies), future Oscar nominee Pete Postlethwaite, and Jim Carter (Mr. Carson of Downton Abbey). It’s no surprise that A Private Function earned three BAFTA Awards (the British Oscars) for its cast as well as two other nominations. More than 25 years later in 2011, the film was transformed into a successful stage musical with the title Betty Blue Eyes, featuring an electronic flatulent pig.

If you’re in the mood for some British humor with a Pythonesque twist, there are few much funnier than these two comic gems.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

FILM LISTINGS FILM RATINGS

KAREN DALTON **** KAREN CARPENTER ***@ KAREN BLACK **@@ KAREN GRAVANO *@@@

SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN

SUN-RAY CINEMA The Night before and The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 screen at 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 3590049, sunraycinema.com. A Christmas Story starts Dec. 3.

THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Fishing Without Nets and Ricki & the Flash screen Nov. 27-Dec. 10. Star Wars marathon runs Nov. 28-Dec. 1, Dec. 3 and 4; call for times. National Lampoon Christmas Vacation runs at noon Dec. 3. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

IMAX THEATER The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, Rocky Mountain Express, Living in the Age of Airplanes, Galapagos 3D and Humpback Whales screen at World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, St. Johns, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

Star Wars The Force Awakens starts Dec. 17.

NOW SHOWING

BRIDGE OF SPIES **@@ Rated PG-13 For director Steven Spielberg and leading man Tom Hanks, the problems are pacing and story structure. It’s tedious, insistent on driving home points we already know. The script by Matt Charman and Joel and Ethan Coen is divided like a theatrical production.

Beginning in 1957, the first and more interesting segment follows insurance lawyer Jim Donovan (Hanks) as he defends accused Russian spy Rudolf Abel (Mark Rylance) from charges of treason and espionage. Jim is an insurance counselor doing a defense attorney’s job – this is based on a true story. Jim’s legal partners (Alan Alda, John Rue), the CIA, FBI, the presiding judge (Dakin Matthews) and Jim’s wife Mary (Amy Ryan), daughters and son want it all to be for show and for Rudolf to not receive a fair trial. Jim stands by his client’s constitutional rights and does his best for the Russian. — Dan Hudak BROOKLYN Rated PG-13 Eilis Lacey (Saoirse Ronan) is a young Irish woman who’s just relocated to 1950s Brooklyn.

She meets Tony (Emory Cohen) and falls in love. Then something needs her attention back home in Ireland and she has to pick her life – here or there? Costars the awesome Julie Walters, as well as Domhnall Gleeson, Jim Broadbent and Brid Brennan.

BY THE SEA Rated R This drama costars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Pitt, who also directed. A writer and his wife are having a tough go of it in the beautiful French countryside, apparently near the sea. Boo-effing-hoo. I just can’t buy a story of woe from these incredibly rich superstars.

CREED Rated PG-13 “Yo, (mumble, mumble) can’t sing or dance.” Apollo Creed’s son Adonis (played by Michael B. Jordan) thinks he wants to be a boxer like his father, whom he never knew. So he goes looking for that lovable palooka Rocky Balboa (do we even have to tell you he’s played by Sylvester Stallone?) in Philly. Costars Phylicia Rashad, Max Kellerman, Jim Lampley, Elvis Grant and Tessa Thompson.

CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES Not Rated John Travolta plays a dirty rotten mobster loan shark out to get his money back from four young men who don’t know much about the mob. And just because it’s not rated DOES NOT mean it’s OK to take the kids.

It is not OK. THE GOOD DINOSAUR Rated PG The animated kiddie feature costars the voices of Jeffrey Wright, Frances McDormand, Anna Paquin, Sam I’m-a-badass-till-I-die Elliott, Maleah Nipay-Padilla and Steve Zahn. It’s about dinosaurs being nice.

GOOSEBUMPS Rated PG Jack Black returns in this timely spooky-but-not-too-spooky romp based on R.L. Stine’s books.

Costars Dylan Minnette, Odeya Rush and Ryan Lee. Stine himself sneaks in for a bit, too.

THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY - PART 2 ***G Rated PG-13 The series has given us a look at a world in which women are presumed to be as capable and as authoritative as men, and has delved deeply into the potent influence of propaganda. world-changing heroine more human than most of them: more conflicted, more unsure, more afraid yet also more brave in overcoming all that … while simultaneously more principled and more selfish. Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) has never been about some romantic, idealistic notion of heroism; she’s always been about protecting those she loves.

LOVE THE COOPERS Rated PG-13 The holidays are stressful enough as it is, what with trying to find the perfect gift for someone you don’t give a rat’s ass about … here the idyllic celebration the Cooper family strives for is a chaotic charade, until surprising things begin to happen. Costars Olivia Wilde, Amanda Seyfried, Marisa Tomei, Diane I’m-always-in-myAnnie-Hall-mode Keaton, John Goodman, Ed Helms, and the incomparable Alan Arkin, who was so great opposite John Cusack in High Fidelity.

THE MAN IN 3B Rated R This is a mystery in an apartment complex. Right off the bat, we’re not interested. We live in an apartment complex and the only mystery there is why do they raise the rent every effing year? Costars Lamman Rucker, Christian Keyes, Brely Evans and D.B. Woodside.

THE MARTIAN **** Rated PG-13 While exploring the surface of Mars, scientists are caught in a violent storm.

Melissa (Jessica Chastain), Rick (Michael Pena), Beth (Kata Mara), Chris (Sebastian Stan) and Alex (Aksel Hennie) escape on their shuttle, but Mark (Matt Damon) is hit with debris, presumed dead and left behind. But he’s alive, unable to communicate with NASA, and low on oxygen, food and supplies. It’ll be four years before the next mission to Mars.

Mark doesn’t panic. He uses his background as a botanist to grow food on a planet on which nothing grows naturally, and even creates his own water. His intelligence, ingenuity and inspiration are a joy to watch. — D.H. MY ALL AMERICAN Rated PG Freddie Steinmark wins a University of Texas football scholarship, but a serious injury soon sidelines his participation. We’re thinking it’s like Brian’s Song meets Rudy. Costars Finn Wittrock, Sarah Bolger, Robin Tunney, Aaron Eckhart and Rett Terrell.

THE NIGHT BEFORE Rated R Nothing like the lovely wistful Beatles song. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Anthony Mackie and the ubiquitous Seth Rogen ferret out top-shelf Christmas Eve parties every year as they prowl NYC. THE PEANUTS MOVIE ***@ Rated G Two of the three credited screenwriters are Craig Schulz and Bryan Schulz, the son and grandson of Peanuts cartoonist Charles Schulz.

It’s clear from the outset that director Steve Martino isn’t interested in shaking up the Peanuts universe too radically.

Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, and Linus still occupy an adultfree world, one where Snoopy still writes his novels on a manual typewriter. Charlie Brown (voiced by Noah Schnapp) is still hapless and anxiety-ridden, and it’s from that foundation that the story emerges. The Little Red-Haired Girl has just moved to town, and Charlie Brown is desperate to impress her, and terrified of interacting with her. — Scott Renshaw SECRET IN THEIR EYES **@@ Rated PG-13 Reviewed in this issue.

SPECTRE **@@ Rated PG-13 The action movie – fourth in the reinvigorated-for-the-21st-century James Bond franchise – begins with the secret agent and a lady friend navigating the crowds of raucous Day of the Dead revelers in Mexico City, through streets heaving with partiers, into a fancy hotel (where the party continues), up to a room. They’re dressed for the mock morbid mood, gloomy yet merry, and we catch that “fun”-ereal contagion. And then it progresses to authentically thrilling – Bond leaps out the hotel window and across rooftops to do a Secret Agent Thing. But the thin plot never catches fire. After the events of Skyfall, Bond (Daniel Craig) went rogue, chasing a big bad guy around the globe, while back in London, the new M (Ralph Fiennes) fights with C (Andrew Scott), who’s about to launch a new blanket electronic surveillance scheme to replace the Double Zed program: something about drone warfare being more efficient than spies with a licence to kill. Costars Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux and Monica Bellucci. — MaryAnn Johanson SPOTLIGHT **** Rated R This is a scorching drama about the damning sex abuse scandal that rocked the Catholic Church in 2002. Inspired by a January 2002 report in The Boston Globe, it follows the Globe’s investigative Spotlight team as it researches sexual abuse by Catholic priests in the Boston area and the widespread knowledge and cover-up by people in power, including Cardinal Bernard Law (Len Cariou). The Spotlight team includes editor Walter “Robby” Robinson (Michael Keaton) and reporters Mike Rezendes (Mark Ruffalo), Sacha Pfeiffer (Rachel McAdams) and Matt Carroll (Brian d’Arcy James). It helps that the team has the support of executive editor Marty Baron (Liev Schreiber) and projects editor Ben Bradlee Jr. (John Slattery), and that it finds an unlikely ally in attorney Mitchell Garabedian (Stanley Tucci). — D.H. SUFFRAGETTE *G@@ Rated PG-13 In 1912 London, Maud (Carey Mulligan), wife to Sonny (Ben Whishaw) and mother to George (Adam Michael Dodd), hates her job as a laundress. Society demands she be submissive to men, and views her as a second-class citizen. Violet (Anne-Marie Duff), a co-worker, and later Edith (Helena Bonham Carter), a chemist, invite Maud to suffragette meetings, where she learns of the struggle women face to have the right to vote. For 50 years, they’ve been peacefully petitioning, to no avail. Now more militant action is needed, says suffragette leader Emmeline Pankhurst (Meryl Streep). Slowly, and to the chagrin of Sonny and every other man in the movie except Edith’s husband (Finbar Lynch), Maud becomes involved in the cause. — D.H. THE 33 Rated PG-13 Based on the 2010 event, when a South American gold and copper mine collapsed, trapping 33 miners for 69 days. Costars Antonio Banderas, Rodrigo Santoro, James Brolin, Lou Diamond Phillips, and Juliete Binoche.

TRUMBO Rated R Brian Cranston and Diane Lane star in this bio-drama about Dalton Trumbo (Cranston) who was a hotshot Hollywood screenwriter whose career and life hit the skids when ignorant, excitable types went huntin’ for Commies.

Costars Helen Mirren, Michael Stuhling and Louis C.K. VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN Rated PG-13 Where are Gene Wilder and Mel Brooks when you need them? This newest drama/horror film version is told from the viewpoint of the doctor’s assistant Igor (Daniel Radcliffe), who is waaay better looking but not as funny as Marty Feldman. This is the “backstory” – a word that simply means the history of or, actually, the story – of how Igor and Dr. Frankenstein (James McAvoy) became partners in human re-creation.

NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

A&E //ARTS MOCA’s latest installation is an affecting MULTIMEDIA OFFERING

ALL-CONSUMING

EXPERIENCE

F

or Ian Johnston’s Project Atrium exhibition at the Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, the Canadian sculptor examines themes of consumption and material waste. His largescale installation, Fish Tales, features shopping carts filled with found objects, enveloped by a massive white nylon bag that inflates and deflates throughout the day. The entire work is suspended in the gallery’s 40-foot-tall space and is accompanied by a recorded soundtrack of the sounds of Jacksonville. Folio Weekly caught up with Johnston to chat about obstacles in installation, humanity’s reliance on material goods, and his visit to the River City.

piece, there was no structural means to hang it. The perseverance and determination of the curatorial team and museum led to the installation of a new beam for hanging mine and future work in the space.

This show is touted as having “themes of consumption and material waste in a tangible way.” Will you expound on that?

This project, like most of my work, deals with the theme of consumption. It‘s tangible in so much as it has a physical presence in the gallery and uses what I’ve come to think of as an iconic symbol of consumption, the shopping cart.

Folio Weekly: How did this show come about?

Ian Johnston: When I was working in Columbus, Georgia, I came to visit Jacksonville Your show consists of one enormous and present a lecture about my work at the installation piece called Fish Tales. What can University of North Florida. At that time, you tell me about that?

Professor Trevor Dunn The title for the piece, Fish Tales, introduced me to the museum PROJECT ATRIUM: grew out of the idea of hanging and encouraged me to connect IAN JOHNSTON the piece. It comes from my with the curatorial team. And Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, Downtown, own experiences and memories three years later, here I am. mocajacksonville.com; of fishing when I was a child through Feb. 28 and we’d put the day’s catch For the past few weeks, you’ve on a chain. In this instance, I been visiting Jacksonville to discovered that shopping carts aren’t fish, but install your work. How has that been? one can hang them just the same. There’s also a I’ve been here since Oct. 28 installing my reference to the outlandish overblown fish story work in the Atrium. The experience was epic parallels our culture’s practice of consuming as for me — especially working on a lift that seen by other cultures. sways back and forth, some 40 feet off the ground. The team at MOCA Jacksonville What materials did you use in this piece? made it a pleasure to work here and were This practice of borrowing materials for my incredibly present and supportive the whole artwork is becoming more and more important time. On top of that, I had the opportunity to me. In Fish Tales, the shopping carts were to meet and spend time with a number of the borrowed from a local cart refurbisher and donors and museum supporters and it left recycler and they’ll return along their way when me with a great impression of Jacksonville as the show is finished in February. a place that supports culture and the arts, as well as football.

I read that there’s audio accompanying your Did you experience any major obstacles Project Atrium installation. What can you during installation? tell me about that?

There are always obstacles, and preconceived Another local aspect of Fish Tales is the ideas get shattered, and that’s what the creative soundtrack, which I developed from the unique sounds of Jacksonville. I visited and process and Project Atrium is about. Nothing recorded the sounds of the tide coming in too major happened during this installation, at Little Talbot Island for the part of the but the computer program that runs the 12-minute cycle of the piece. For another part, installation did have a case of the last-minute I recorded the sounds of the freight trains in heebie-jeebies that gave me a bit of a scare.

San Marco and the haunting sound of the Big Jim steam whistle at JEA. For me, these sounds How did you feel after seeing your work have begun to replace some of the physical completely installed? aspects of my work that I like to collect locally It’s always very gratifying to see the finished and they’re a lot easier to transport and store. work and especially so in this case, as we’ve Kara Pound been working on it for so long. For the first mail@folioweekly.com year of our discussion about making a hanging 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015

+ EVENTS ARTS ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE

CIRCLE MIRROR TRANSFORMATION The Bold Theatre Group and MOCA present Annie Baker’s play, which tells the story of a cast of five actors whose lives are transformed during a six-week improv workshop, 7 p.m. Dec. 2-4 and 2 p.m. Dec. 5 and 6 at Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, $15; $10 members, mocajacksonville.com.

THE NATIONAL CIRCUS & ACROBATS OF THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA: PEKING DREAMS The internationally renowned acrobatic troupe performs, 3 p.m. Nov. 28 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $26-$36, thcenter.org.

The HIP HOP NUTCRACKER This updated, rap-driven version of the holiday classic, featuring Kurtis Blow, is staged 3 and 7:30 p.m. Nov. 29 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, $29-$39, ritzjacksonville.com.

DR. SEUSS’ HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS This musical adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ book, about a reclusive green grump who decides to ruin Christmas for the town of Whoville, is staged 7:30 p.m. Dec. 1 and 2; 11 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. Dec. 3; 7:30 p.m. Dec. 4; 1 and 7 p.m. Dec. 5 and 1 and 4 p.m.

Dec. 6 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, $38.50-$83.40, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org.

CHRISTMAS CAROLE Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents Bruce Allen Scudder’s musical adaptation of the beloved tale of Ebenezer Scrooge’s yuletide redemption, through Dec. 24.

Dinner 6 p.m.; brunch at noon, with Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu; 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $35-$55 plus tax, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ

FALL PERCUSSION ENSEMBLE CONCERT Charlotte Mabrey conducts student percussionists, 7:30 p.m. Nov. 25 at University of North Florida’s Robinson Theater, 620-2878, unf. edu/coas/music/calendar.aspx.

SCOTT BRADLEE’S POSTMODERN JUKEBOX Bradlee and his band rework contemporary pop hits in styles of jazz, ragtime and swing, 8 p.m. Nov. 28 at Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $29.50-$39.50, floridatheatre.com.

The JU CHAMBER ENSEMBLES Students perform classical works, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 1 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7386, arts.ju.edu.

CLASSICAL AT UNF Dr. Tasher conducts UNF Chorale & Orchestra and Yukino Miyake, continuo, in Messiah: A Love Story, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 1 at UNF’s Lazzara Performance Hall, 620-2878, $10, unf.edu/coas/music/calendar.aspx.

DAVE KOZ CHRISTMAS TOUR Jazz up those “Jingle Bells” as saxophonist Koz performs holiday standards with Jonathan Butler, Candy Dulfer, and Bill Medley, 8 p.m. Dec. 1 at Florida Theatre, Downtown, 355-2787, $35-$75, floridatheatre.com.

A JAZZ COMBO CONCERT Jazz students swing at 7:30 p.m.

Dec. 2 at UNF’s Robinson Theater, 620-2878, unf.edu/coas/ music/calendar.aspx.

COMEDY

FAT CHANCE TOUR A night of comedy with Preston Lacy (Jackass) and Tom Garland, 6 p.m. Nov. 27 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $15, 1904musichall.com.

CRAIG FERGUSON Emmy-nominated comedian and latenight talk-show great Ferguson appears 8 p.m. Nov. 30 at Florida Theatre, 355-2787, $29.50-$59.50, floridatheatre.com.

GEORGE WALLACE Comedy great Wallace, who’s been on The Oprah Winfrey Show and The Talk, appears 8 and 10 p.m. Nov. 27 and 28 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $25-$30, comedyzone.com.

THE THANKSGIVING SHOW The holiday show with 14 Northeast Florida comics, at 8 p.m. Nov. 27 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., 646-4277, $8-$10, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

HYPNOSIS COMEDY Hypnotist comedian Gary Conrad is on at 8 and 10:30 p.m. Nov. 28 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 646-4277, $8-$25, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

ONE SPARK ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS One Spark 2016 is accepting Creator applications. For details, go to onespark.com.

MUSICAL THEATER JAZZ CLASS Jocelyn Geronimo holds classes, 4-5 p.m. Nov. 25, Dec. 2 and 9, Players by the Sea, Jax Beach, 249-0289, $200, gary@playersbythesea.org.

ARTS IN THE PARK ENTRIES Limited, juried April event at Atlantic Beach’s Johansen Park seeks applications; coab.us.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

WEDNESDAY MARKET Produce, arts, crafts, food, live music, 8 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Nov. 25, St. Johns Pier Park, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

COMMUNITY FARMERS & ART MARKET Art, crafts, jewelry, 4-7 p.m. Nov. 25, 4300 St. Johns Ave., Riverside, 607-9935.

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts/crafts, local produce, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Nov. 27, Jacksonville Landing, 353-1188.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local/regional art, food, farmers’ row, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. – Stacey Bennett, Tropic of Cancer, Side Track Duo 10:30 a.m. Nov. 28 – and every Sat. through Dec. 19 under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT The self-guided tour of galleries, antique stores and shops open 5-9 p.m. Nov. 28 and every last Sat. in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152.

FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The downtown art walk, 5-9 p.m. Dec. 2 and every first Wed., with 13-plus live music venues and hotspots open after 9 p.m., spans 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. iloveartwalk.com.

MUSEUMS

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. It Came from the Attic: Local War Memorabilia Collections, through November.

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. Naval Station Mayport: Guardian of the Southern Frontier Exhibit through Feb. 12.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Julien De Casablanca: The Outings Project is on display through May 1. Rockwell Kent: The Shakespeare Portfolio is on display through May 15. David Hayes: The Sentinel Series, sculptures of geometrically abstract, organic forms, displays through Oct. 2, 2016. Women, Art & Social Change: The Newcomb Pottery Enterprise, 20th-century ceramics, through Jan. 2. British Watercolors through Nov. 29.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992. New works by Mac Truque, through Jan. 2. Baseball: Origins and Early History, through December.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. Circle Mirror Transformation is staged Dec. 2-6; $15; $10 members.

Project Atrium: Ian Johnston, Johnston’s Fish Tales, themes of consumption and material waste, through Feb. 28. Smoke and Mirrors: Sculpture & The Imaginary, 3D and installation works by sculptors Chul Hyun Ahn, James Clar, Patrick Jacobs, Ken Matsubara, Daniel Rozin, and Kathleen Vance, through Jan. 24. Unmasked: Art with a Heart in Healthcare, through Dec. 6.

THE RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com. Black Wings: American Dreams of Flight, through Jan. 17.

GALLERIES

ALEXANDER BREST GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 N. University Blvd., 256-7371, ju.edu. Annual Student Juried Exhibition through Dec. 11.

ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic

Beach, 249-2222, archwaygalleryandframing.com. For The Love of Waterscapes, through mid-December.

THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 139, 2 Independent Dr., 233-9252, tacjacksonville.org. The Wildlife Jury Show, through Dec. 28.

BREW FIVE POINTS 1024 Park St., Riverside, 374-5789, brewfivepoints.com. Humans: Sculptures & Drawings by Chip Southworth, through mid-December.

BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, butterfieldgarage.com. New works by Jim Rivers, Mary Jane Amato, and Mary Bower, through Dec. 1.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/news-events/crisp-ellert-art-museum.

Edgar Endress: Finding Baroque (terre florida), through Nov. 28.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The 15th annual Christmas Open House is featured through Dec. 24.

FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 535-7252, floridamininggallery.com. Joe Segal – Permutations, through mid-Dec. FSCJ DEERWOOD CENTER CAMPUS 9911 Old Baymeadows Rd., 997-2500, fscj.edu. Mind, Body, Soul & Spirit – A Celebration of the Arts, student-made mandalas, through Dec. 4.

FSCJ KENT CAMPUS GALLERY 3939 Roosevelt Blvd., 646-2300, fscj.edu. Student Holiday Show, through Dec. 8.

FSCJ NORTH CAMPUS GALLERY 4501 Capper Rd., 632-3310, fscj.edu. Inside Out, through Dec. 4.

HASKELL GALLERY JIA, 741-3546, jiaarts.org. Face Forward, self-portraits by 30 local artists, through Dec. 28.

J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 435-3200, jjohnsongallery.com. Water Angels, Christina Hope’s underwater photography, through Jan. 21.

LUFRANO INTERCULTURAL GALLERY 620-2475, unf.edu/ gallery. Lida, Paintings by Franklin Matthews, through Dec. 11.

MONYA ROWE GALLERY 4 Rohde Ave., St. Augustine, 217-0637, monyarowegallery.com. Out of Place, by Larissa Bates, Natasha Bowdoin, Vera Iliatova, Giordanne Salley, Dasha Shiskin, through Dec. 20.

SPACE:EIGHT 228 W. King St., St. Augustine, 829-2838, spaceeight.com. Extended Playbook, by George Long, Jessica Caldas, Mario Schambon, William Downs, Adrian Barzaga, Mike Stasny, Erin Michelle Vaiskauckas, through Dec. 3.

STELLERS GALLERY AT PONTE VEDRA 240 A1A N., Ste. 13, 273-6065, stellersgallery.com. Landscape: Realism to Abstraction,

by Henry Von Genk III, Ellen Diamond, John Schuyler, through Dec. UNF GALLERY OF ART Founders Hall, 620-2534, unf.edu/ gallery. UNF Faculty Exhibition, through Dec. 11.

EVENTS

UNITY PLAZA EXTRAVAGANZA The family-geared 2015 Jacksonville Holiday Extravaganza, with a live nativity, tree lighting, live music, ice sculpture display, and food and drink (hot chocolate station!), photo ops with Santa, Nutcracker performance, food drive and a toy drive, is 4-8 p.m. Nov. 27 at Unity Plaza, 220 Riverside Ave., 206-0902, unityplaza.org.

CHRISTMAS MADE IN THE SOUTH The 27th annual mega-show, with more than 300 artists, artisans, and craftspersons offering original and one-of-a-kind items including ornaments, pottery, toys, jewelry, fine art, furniture, metal sculptures, woven designs, glass art, and photography, is held 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Nov. 27; 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Nov. 28, and 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Nov. 29 at Prime Osborn Convention Center, 1000 Water St., Downtown, 630-4000, $7; 12 and under free, madeinthesouthshows.com, jaxevents.com.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS VS. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS The Jags take on the Chargers, 1 p.m. Nov. 29 at EverBank Field, 633-6100, $42-$470, ticketmaster.com.

HUMAN RIGHTS/CIVIL RIGHTS Duval County Democratic Party Gala’s featured speakers are Houston Mayor Annise Parker, Desmond Meade, Dr. Parvez Ahmed, Nancy Soderberg and Rev. R.L. Gundy, 6 p.m. Nov. 30 at Hilton DoubleTree, 1201 Riverplace Blvd., Southbank, $150 VIP reception and dinner; $75 dinner only; 390-7001, duvaldems.org.

CHRISTMAS LIGHTED BOAT PARADE The 13th annual parade, with cash prizes, silent auction and live music by Love Monkey, 6:30 p.m. Dec. 12 at Whitey’s Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, Fleming Island, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com.

Proceeds benefit Safe Animal Shelter.

Known for reworking contemporary pop hits in the styles of jazz, ragtime and swing, SCOTT BRADLEE’S POSTMODERN JUKEBOX performs at The Florida Theatre on Nov. 28, Downtown.

NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

A&E //ARTS

TRANSLATING THE

TIMELESS

The traditional holiday classic finds a new GROOVE and FUNKY update

T

he Sugar Plum Fairy is going to bring it to the beat and find the right rhythm when The Hip Hop Nutcracker arrives at The Ritz Theatre this weekend. Created by choreographer/director Jennifer Weber and writer/producer Mike Fitelson, the show is billed as “a holiday mash-up for the whole family, which re-imagines Tchaikovsky’s classic score through explosive hip hop choreography.”

The show sets out on a holiday tour and, with the likes of DJ BOO and none other than hip hop icon Kurtis Blow as part of the cast, the show is sure to pop, lock, and rock the crowd.

Folio Weekly caught up with the lively Weber shortly after the final rehearsal prior to the start of the tour. We spoke about delivering a new spin on this dance and music classic while honoring the original and dealing with some unwanted trolls.

Folio Weekly: How was the final rehearsal?

Jennifer Weber: Energetic. The cast and crew are busting at the seams with energy. We are ready to go!

So the dancers are executing classic ballet moves like pliés or the pas de bourrée?

Not quite. Like I said, hip hop is all about sampling and we sample traditional dance moves and gestures, but we are a bunch of hip hop dancers and, as such, we’re going to bring our flavor to it. We had to figure out how this music speaks to both the street dancers and the classically trained dancers that make up our cast. We had to be open to the newness of it.

OK, but there has to be some pushback from traditionalists. Anyone get their tights all tied up in bunches about this show?

Yeah, you know how the Internet is.

You scurried up some trolls?

[Laughs.] No. Well … [Laughs.] People have the right to voice their opinion. People get nervous when it comes to culture and traditions. For me, I believe that culture is most valuable when it can move and grow.

I was a club kid who discovered hip hop culture and those dances are how I found a way to connect with my body and my movements. I don’t think it’s different for traditionally trained dancers; it’s the way they learn to connect and move. Why not mash it up and come up with something new and fresh that can connect with an even wider group of people?

How did this all come about? How do you take a classic like The Nutcracker and reinvent it to a hip hop beat?

Well, hip hop is all about sampling and that’s what I feel we did. I wouldn’t say we reinvented I suppose that serving as both choreographer it; more like translated it. Our show is still and director, you have the opportunity to comprised of, I’d say, 98 percent of Tchaikovsky’s create the connection. original score. DJ BOO adds The choreography for this show loops to enhance the vibe and THE HIP HOP NUTCRACKER has been so collaborative. The help the dancers find the groove.

3 and 7:30 p.m. Nov. 29, cast is made up of 11 dancers The Ritz Theatre & Museum, and two musicians, Kurtis Blow Were you nervous to take on Downtown, $29-$39, and DJ BOO. The dancers all The Nutcracker? ritzjacksonville.com had an opportunity to freestyle When I was first approached, and contribute during the I was, like, “whoa!” I mean, initial stages. As a director, my job is to make The Nutcracker is a beast and so well known.

I have choreographed and directed a show every dancer as strong as possible and make based on Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons, but there the story as clear as possible for the audience. was not foundational dance there. The ballet movements in The Nutcracker are established, Speaking of Kurtis Blow, how did he come to a certain extent. To be completely honest, I on board? had never seen the entire original ballet when Oh man, Kurtis Blow is a legend. I was so I was approached. excited to have him on board. The New Jersey Performing Arts Center [the show’s producing Have you seen it since? organization] made it happen. He is amazing I’ve seen many different versions since. It’s to work with and brings with him such a knowledge, style and flavor. important to understand the piece first and then you can find your own individual voice in it.

What are you looking forward to most about touring?

Oh, we weren’t questioning your preparation!

Going to cities I’ve never been to, like We’re sure you’re a total pro.

Jacksonville. And going to Russia. I mean, [Laughs.] Oh no, it’s cool. I had a lot to learn this is where the original Nutcracker was born in order to make this happen. I didn’t know and we are bringing our translation back to its that it’s OK to move the song order around birthplace. That is huge! in different productions of The Nutcracker.

Jose Cruz Overall, I simply wanted to stay true to the feel mail@folioweekly.com and story of the original.

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015

A&E // MUSIC MAL JONES is 23 years into his mission of enhancing Jacksonville’s hip hop scene, one rhyme at a time

SPREADING THE

J

GOSPEL

amal “Mal” Jones does not sit still. Every month for First Wednesday Art Walk, the 39-year-old hosts The Lyricist Live battle rap cypher; every week, he hosts a Freestyle Friday lounge night at Azucena Corner Deli on Forsyth Street. He writes raps about electrical safety for JEA, teaches hip hop history at The Performers Academy, and mentors teenagers for Family Support Services of North Florida. He was the first hip hop artist ever to have work archived by the Florida Folklife Foundation, the first MC to ever perform at the Florida Folklife Foundation Festival, and the only rapper ever selected by the Department of State to serve as a Master Folk Artist in the Florida Folklife Apprenticeship Program. In short, nobody has done more to cultivate Jacksonville’s hip hop scene than Mal Jones … who also happens to work a regular 9-to-5 job while raising a 12-year-old son.

Folio Weekly chatted with Jones about his artistic roots, performing at Freebird Live for the first time, and his belief in hip hop as an agent of positive cultural change.

my own music. I’m rapping, but I’m trying to gather a crowd so that other MCs can put their skills on display. So at Freebird, I’m going to take the opportunity to perform my own songs while also bringing younger artists like Yung JD on stage with me. I’ve interviewed established artists at Freebird for my old livestream hip hop show, “The Lyricist Hour,” but I’ve never performed there. So I’m excited.

How pivotal was it for you to receive so many accolades from the Florida Folklife Program?

My father was a musician and my uncle was heavy into traditional African arts, so I have deep roots in music and culture. That’s why I started The Lyricist Live — taking hip hop as the art of my generation; I wanted to do something constructive and curate an experience, outside, for the people, without any instruments or even beats. That’s why it was recognized as a folk art for the first time.

Is hip hop a full-time job for you?

I’m trying! It’s not paying all my bills, though it’s paying some. I do work a 9-to-5 job, and I’ve sacrificed in order to make hip hop more respected. A lot of the things I do outside the Folio Weekly: What are your roots in the traditional rap show format are Jacksonville hip hop scene, Mal? to bring that kind of awareness Mal Jones: I was born in New MAL JONES presents so that MCs in Jacksonville York, moved to South Florida as THE LYRICIST LIVE, can get paid for what they do, a kid, and came to Jacksonville MIKE SB, TUNK, in their city. This hasn’t always in 1992 as a 16-year-old. The first DENVER HALL been a conducive place for time I performed onstage, I was 8 p.m. Nov. 28, Freebird Live, Jax Beach, $8 advance; $10 hardcore hip hop MCs because five; my father was a poet and day of, freebirdlive.com there wasn’t always a platform jazz musician, and he would have for them to be accepted. me recite poetry. I had brothers Now, you can’t name all the dope rappers in and sisters in the hip hop scene in New York Jacksonville on one hand anymore like you City, which influenced me to become part of used to. That’s a good thing. the culture here when I was old enough. A lot of my first experiences with hip hop were right Do you think hip hop still has the ability to here in Jacksonville. This is where I started to change lives the way it changed yours? build my relationship with the scene, which has steadily grown into what we have today.

Unlike a lot of other art forms, hip hop is a community thing — a culture, a way of life. It When and why did you start organizing The affects all people, and it’s completely integrated Lyricist Live cypher events? into all aspects of society. Hip hop is the most Five years ago, to bring more attention to popular music for this generation, and it hip hop acts in the city. I’m an artist myself, continues to grow. What I do is like a science not just a promoter, and I wanted to re-enact experiment: I wanted to see if I could take the formula of how hip hop was born, with DJs the cyphers of my childhood in the ’90s as like Kool Herc and Afrika Bambaataa taking an audio/visual work of art that people can it outside to the people as a way to eradicate interact with. Doing it outside at Art Walk was gang violence in the Bronx in the early ’70s, the perfect place for it, especially because the and bring this community together. We’ve had biggest rule is no cursing. That means MCs 60-something Lyricist Live shows without one have to be creative. incidence of violence — not even a fight or an argument. So that formula still works, and I’m Is that the format for your Nov. 28 show at using it to bring peace to Jacksonville.

Freebird Live?

Nick McGregor It will be a Lyricist Live show, but when I’m out mail@folioweekly.com during Art Walk, I hardly ever get to perform NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

A&E // MUSIC FIVE REASONS WHY YOU MUST GO SEE THE

BLIND BOYS OF

ALABAMA

I

The gospel legends remain an AMERICAN INSTITUTION not to be missed photo ops with Santa, train rides, face-painting, a snowfall, and bounce house precede the show.

3. THE BOYS HAVE BEEN SINGING TOGETHER FOR 71 YEARS — and still perform about 150 nights during a tour. Put that in your pipe and smoke it next time you complain about being tired — original member Jimmy Carter is in his 80s and still going strong. “I’m going to have to retire sooner or later!” Carter told Connect Savannah in February. “[But] I don’t know when — no time soon.”

f, as Elvis Presley purportedly said, “Gospel music is the purest thing there is on this Earth,” then The Blind Boys of Alabama are the purest keepers of that eternally pure flame.

Formed in 1944 at the Alabama Institute for the Negro Blind when its seven founding members were all of nine or ten years old, the group has 4. THE BLIND BOYS HAVE PERFORMED FOR performed nearly everywhere, from the Jim THREE AMERICAN PRESIDENTS — and even Crow South to pivotal Civil Rights Movement received an award from the Queen of Jordan. marches to 60 Minutes to the White House.

You probably don’t even know anyone who They’ve won more awards than we can count voted for Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and (OK, we can count five Grammys), recorded Barack Obama, much less was personally with myriad notables, from Booker T. Jones to invited to perform for all three. And in May Ben Harper to Bon Iver, and dabbled in pop, 2005, mere weeks after receiving the American funk, soul, and hip-hop, all while remaining true Foundation for the Blind’s Helen Keller to their gospel roots. Most amazing, founding Personal Achievement member Jimmy Carter is still Award, Queen Noor leading the band, which now THE BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA presented the Blind Boys includes three more visually 5 p.m. Nov. 29, St. Augustine with the First Niarchos impaired singers and four Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., free, Prize for Survivorship at backing musicians. staugamphitheatre.com the Landmine Survivors Since The Blind Boys of Network awards. As Ricky Alabama are appearing at St. McKinnie, who joined the Blind Boys in 1989, Augustine Amphitheatre on Nov. 29, we came told Mother Jones in 2012, “Our disability up with five more reasons why this show is a doesn’t have to be a handicap. It’s not about can’t-miss, must-see. what you can’t do. It’s about what you can do.

And what we do is sing good gospel music.”

1. IT’S FREE AND FOR A GOOD CAUSE. We heard you, Northeast Florida music fans, and 5. EVEN WITH ALL THEIR ACCOLADES AND A for the most part we’re with you: St. Augustine DREAM LIST OF PAST COLLABORATORS, The Amphitheatre shows can be damn expensive.

Blind Boys of Alabama remain true to their But the only cost to see The Blind Boys of gospel mission. “They say music can calm the Alabama on Sunday is one non-perishable wildest beast,” Jimmy Carter told Connect canned food item per person. The United Way Savannah in February. “We just get out there of St. Johns County will collect these cans and sing … and hope that we always plant a and distribute them among the more than 30 seed. We can’t make the seed grow, but we can agencies it represents as well as the county’s plant it and hope it will make a great harvest. many food pantries to support those in need We’ve played with secular people, but we never this holiday season. deviated from our mission.”

2. IT’S THE BEST KIND OF CHRISTMAS SHOW. SO LET’S RECAP: A group of American The kiddos might dismiss Christmas music as legends who’ve been performing longer than boring, and parents might be jaded by decades most of our parents have been alive, on stage of Bing Crosby saturation. But The Blind Boys at one of the area’s finest family-friendly of Alabama’s “Talkin’ Christmas!” Show, derived from their 2014 album of the same name, venues, for a good cause — and all it costs promises a much livelier, much more energetic is a can of food! We’ll see you on Sunday, adventure: On the record, the title track features Northeast Florida — praise be to The Blind Beastie Boy Money Mark tickling the keys, Boys of Alabama for offering us a chance to hear and see beautiful harmony. while blues legend Taj Mahal backs the Boys on Nick McGregor uplifting originals like mail@folioweekly.com “What Can I Do?” Big yuletide bonus: Visits/

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015

Atlanta-based hip hop trio MIGOS perform at Mavericks Live on Nov. 25 at The Landing.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Nov. 25 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247.

RYAN CRARY 6 p.m. Nov. 25 & Dec. 2 at Pusser’s Bar & Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766.

MIGOS 6 p.m. Nov. 25 at Mavericks Live, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 356-1110, $30-$55.

HIGHWAY 238, DIRT FLOOR KRACKERS, CHRIS WOOD 8 p.m. Nov. 25 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $8 advance; $10 day of.

The BAND BE EASY 8 p.m. Nov. 26 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555.

MIKE SHACKELFORD, STEVE SHANHOLZTER 7:30 p.m. Nov. 27 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10.

PROTEJE, KY-MANI MARLEY 8 p.m. Nov. 27 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $25 advance; $30 day of.

DENIED ’TIL DEATH, MUST NOT KILL, CHLOVER 8 p.m. Nov. 27, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

DUSTIN BRADLEY 8 p.m. Nov. 27, Pusser’s Bar & Grille.

CORBITT BROTHERS 9:30 p.m. Nov. 27 at Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208.

LOVE MONKEY 10 p.m. Nov. 27 & 28 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611.

CHUCK NASH 10 p.m. Nov. 27 & 28 at Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680.

Riverside Arts Market: STACEY BENNETT, TROPIC OF CANCER, SIDE TRACK DUO 10:30 a.m. Nov. 28, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449.

CALEB JOYE 7 p.m. Nov. 28, Pusser’s Bar & Grille.

MAL JONES PRESENTS THE LYRICIST LIVE, MIKE SB, TUNK, DENVER HALL 8 p.m. Nov. 28, Freebird Live, $8 advance; $10 day of.

FAZE WAVE, SUNSPOTS, HARVEY HAMPTON 8 p.m. Nov. 28, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

RONNIE MILSAP 7 p.m. Nov. 29 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $36-$56.

THE BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA 8 p.m. Nov. 29 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, free admission with at least one canned food item per person; gates open 5 p.m.; holiday-themed, family-geared activities: train rides, face painting, snowfall, bounce house.

Music in the Box: THE OBSCURE BROTHERS 6-9 p.m. Nov. 29 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org.

BLEAK, LA-A 8 p.m. Nov. 30 at Shantytown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield, 798-8222, $5.

ACACIA STRAIN, COUNTERPARTS, GLASS CLOUD, FIT FOR an AUTOPSY, KUBLAI KHAN 6 p.m. Dec. 1 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $15.

SONGWRITERS NIGHT 7:30 p.m. Dec. 1, Mudville Music Room, $10.

DEICIDE, SEASON OF SUFFERING 8 p.m. Dec. 2, 1904 Music Hall, $15.

SILENT SERMON, FOUR SKIN, AUTOMATIK FIT 7 p.m. Dec. 2, Jack Rabbits, $8.

MAC MILLER, EARTHGANG, MICHAEL CHRISTMAS, REMEMBER MUSIC 8 p.m. Dec. 2, The Florida Theatre, $27.50-$37.50.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

FLO RIDA Dec. 3, Mavericks Live EDDIE IZZARD Dec. 3, The Florida Theatre LUCERO Dec. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall H20, THE ATTACK, BOYS NO GOOD Dec. 3, 1904 Music Hall SCARY LITLE CHRISTMAS, THE LIVING DEEDS, THE DAYGOS, PENNYWISE Dec. 4, 1904 Music Hall BRIAN WILSON, AL JARDINE Dec. 5, The Florida Theatre NICHOLAS PAYTON Dec. 5, Ritz Theatre & Museum Big Ticket: TWENTY ONE PILOTS, OF MONSTERS & MEN, WALK the MOON, The NEIGHBOURHOOD, GLASS ANIMALS,

ANDREW McMAHON, MUTEMATH, PVRIS, ROBERT DeLONG, COLEMAN HELL, BORNS, BOOTS on BOOTS Dec. 6, Metropolitan Park KANSAS Dec. 6, The Florida Theatre D.R.I. Dec. 9, Harbor Tavern THE DELTA SAINTS Dec. 9, Underbelly KNOCKED LOOSE, ADALIAH, VARIALS Dec. 10, 1904 Music Hall LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III, MELISSA FERRICK Dec. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Dec. 11, Vets Memorial Arena KEVIN GRIFFIN Dec. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRIAN REGAN Dec. 13, The Florida Theatre RISING APPALACHIA Dec. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LEON RUSSELL Dec. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BOWZER’S Rock ’N’ Roll Holiday Party: The TOKENS, FREDDY BOOM BOOM CANNON Dec. 17, Florida Theatre MATISYAHU Dec. 18 & 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MICHAEL McDONALD Dec. 19, Thrasher-Horne Center HIGH ON FIRE, CROWBAR, APPALACHIAN DEATH TRAP Dec. 19, Underbelly AN IRISH CHRISTMAS Dec. 21, Times-Union Center The TEN TENORS Dec. 22, The Florida Theatre CHRIS DUARTE Dec. 22, Mudville Music Room BUTCH TRUCKS & the FREIGHT TRAIN BAND Dec. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall DONNA the BUFFALO Dec. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PAPERCUTT Dec. 31, St. Augustine Beach Pier SOJA Jan. 1, The Florida Theatre JOHN SEBASTIAN Jan. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STEVE FORBERT TRIO Jan. 9, Mudville Music Room SILVERSUN PICKUPS Jan. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC The OLATE DOGS Jan. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YO YO MA Jan. 14, Amelia Island Chamber Music Festival TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE Jan. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Winter Jam: FOR KING & COUNTRY, MATTHEW WEST, CROWDER, LAUREN DAIGLE, RED, NEWSONG, SIDEWALK PROPHETS, TEDASHIL, KB, STARS GO DIM, TONY NOLAN, WE ARE MESSENGERS Jan. 15, Veterans Memorial Arena The TEMPTATIONS, The FOUR TOPS Jan. 21, Florida Theatre JESCO WHITE, SNAKE BLOOD REMEDY, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE Jan. 23, Jack Rabbits GRAHAM NASH Jan. 27, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVISITED Jan. 23, ThrasherHorne Center PATTI LaBELLE Jan. 28, Times-Union Center SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY & the ASBURY JUKES Jan. 28, The Florida Theatre ANA POPOVIC Jan. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CARRIE UNDERWOOD Jan. 30, Veterans Memorial Arena GAELIC STORM Jan. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PAPADASIO Jan. 30, Mavericks Live JOHNNY MATHIS Jan. 31, The Florida Theatre COLIN HAY Jan. 31, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 2CELLOS Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre YANNI Feb. 3, T-U Center Southern Soul Assembly: JJ GREY, ANDERS OSBORNE, MARC BROUSSARD, LUTHER DICKINSON Feb. 4, Florida Theatre YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, TROUT STEAK REVIVAL Feb. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ALAN PARSONS PROJECT Greatest Hits Tour, Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra Feb. 10, The Florida Theatre ROBERT RANDOLPH & the FAMILY BAND Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PATTY GRIFFIN, SARA WATKINS, ANAIS MITCHELL Feb. 13, The Florida Theatre The JAMES HUNTER SIX Feb. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MELISSA ETHERIDGE Feb. 17, Thrasher-Horne Center FOREIGNER Feb. 20, The Florida Theatre SUN RA ARKESTRA Feb. 20, The Ritz Theatre ADAM TRENT Feb. 21, The Florida Theatre GARY CLARK JR. Feb. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall O.A.R. Feb. 24, The Florida Theatre VINCE GILL, LYLE LOVETT Feb. 25, The Florida Theatre Experience Hendrix: BILLY COX, BUDDY GUY, ZAKK WYLDE, KENNY WAYNE SHEPHERD, JONNY LANG, DWEEZIL ZAPPA, KEB MO, ERIC JOHNSON, CHRIS LAYTON, MATO NANJI, NOAH HUNT, HENRI BROWN Feb. 26, The Florida Theatre IL VOLO March 3, The Florida Theatre BLACK VIOLIN March 3, The Ritz Theatre

Tampa’s finest, metal overlords DEICIDE (pictured) perform with SEASON OF SUFFERING at 1904 Music Hall Dec. 1, Downtown.

ROGER McGUINN March 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall HERB ALPERT & LANI HALL March 4, The Florida Theatre JASON ISBELL, SHOVELS & ROPE March 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JANET JACKSON March 8, Veterans Memorial Arena MERLE HAGGARD March 11, The Florida Theatre MOODY BLUES March 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GET the LED OUT March 17, The Florida Theatre JOHNNY CLEGG & his BAND March 18, P.V. Concert Hall JOE SATRIANI March 19, The Florida Theatre The FAB FOUR: The ULTIMATE TRIBUTE March 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHICAGO, EARTH, WIND & FIRE March 23, Veterans Memorial Arena CECILE McLORIN SALVANT March 31, The Ritz Theatre NAJEE April 9, The Ritz Theatre & Museum LET IT BE: Celebration of The Beatles April 10, Florida Theatre AMY HELM April 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall WANEE MUSIC FESTIVAL April 14, 15 & 16, Live Oak RITA WILSON April 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The BRONX WANDERERS April 16, The Florida Theatre One Night of Queen: GARY MULLEN & the WORKS April 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall A NIGHT with JANIS JOPLIN April 21, The Florida Theatre ELLIS PAUL May 13, The Original Café Eleven BILL MAHAER May 14, The Florida Theatre

JUSTIN BIEBER June 29, Veterans Memorial Arena 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER July 20, Veterans Memorial Arena

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA

GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith Thur. Yancy Clegg Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Yancy Clegg every Tue. & Thur. Black Jack Band every Fri.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. every Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance at 9 p.m. every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns, 388-0200 Live music every weekend

THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

CULHANE’S, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Kissass Karaoke every Fri. DJ Hal every Sat. Irish music every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 Chuck Nash Band 10 p.m. Nov. 27 & 28. Ryan Crary Nov. 29 FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 First St. N., 246-2473 Proteje, Ky-Mani Marley 8 p.m. Nov. 27. Mal Jones presents The Lyricist Live, Mike SB, Tunk, Denver Hall Nov. 28 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade every Sun. Back From the Brink every Mon. HOPTINGER Bier Garden, 333 First St. N., 222-0796 Andrew Sapin Nov. 27 LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 First St. N., 249-5181 Lunar Coast 10 p.m. Nov. 27. Yamadeo 10 p.m. Nov. 28 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Darkhorse Saloon Nov. 25. Live music most weekends MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer every Thur.

NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Live music most weekends RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Hoffman’s Voodoo Nov. 25. Cloud 9 Nov. 27 & 28. Live music every weekend SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881 Bill Ricci Nov. 27. Billy Bowers 6 p.m. Nov. 28 WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508 Live music 9:30 p.m. Nov. 27

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Roosevelt Collier Nov. 26. Acacia Strain, Counterparts, Glass Cloud, Fit For An Autopsy, Kublai Khan 6 p.m. Dec. 1. Deicide, Season of Suffering 8 p.m. Dec. 2 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. Danny Pynes Nov. 28 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack Wed. DJ Brandon Thur. DJs spin dance music Fri. DJ NickFresh very Sat. DJ Randall 9 p.m. every Mon. DJ Hollywood Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade Nov. 25. Jig to a Milestone 8 p.m.-mid.

Nov. 27. Ace Winn 8 p.m.-mid. Nov. 28 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Austin Park 9 p.m. Nov. 28. 418 Band 4 p.m. Nov. 29 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Dr. Doom 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. DJ Shotgun 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Migos 6 p.m.

Nov. 25. Flo Rida 6 p.m. Dec. 3. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 We Were Promised Jetpacks Nov. 29

FLEMING ISLAND

WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Conch Fritters 4 p.m., Supernatural 9 p.m. Nov. 27. Randy Jagers 4

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC p.m., Supernatural 9 p.m. Nov. 28. Tony 4 p.m. Nov. 29. Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Throwback every Thur.

Deck music every Fri., Sat. & Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Highway Jones, Cindy Davenport Nov. 25. Jaxx or Better Nov. 28. Live music most weekends JERRY’S Sports Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Boogie Freaks Nov. 27. Live music most weekends

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

DAVE’S Music Bar & Grill, 9965 San Jose Blvd., 575-4935 Blues Jam Nov. 27. David Pigman, Deb Johnston Nov. 28 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Open jam 7 p.m. every Mon.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CLUB RETRO, 1241 Blanding Blvd., 579-4731 ’70s & ’80s dance 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Capone every Wed. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Tue.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Love Monkey 10 p.m. Nov. 27 & 28. Live music 10 p.m. every Wed. DJ Big Mike 10 p.m. every Thur.

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S Grill, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Ryan Crary Nov. 25 & Dec. 2. Dustin Bradley Nov. 27. Caleb Joye Nov. 28 TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Latin All Stars Nov. 25.

Gary Starling Nov. 26. Deron Baker Nov. 27. Barrett Jockers Nov. 28

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Live music most weekends MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 3887807 Rachael Bloiunt, Summer Frost, Cassidy Lee Nov. 27.

A.Brodie CD release, Sicily, Wrekless Abandon Nov. 28 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Live music most weekends RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Stacey Bennett, Tropic Of Cancer, Side Track Duo Nov. 28

ST. AUGUSTINE

CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Vinny Jacobs 1 p.m. Nov. 29 MILL TOP TAVERN, 19 St. George St., 829-2329 Sam & SeaJay Milner 1 p.m.

Nov. 26. Ancient City Keepers 9 p.m.

Nov. 27 & 28. Aaron Esposito Nov. 29 PAULA’S BEACHSIDE GRILL, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463 Denny Blue open mic jam 6-9 p.m.

Nov. 25 SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 Live music most weekends TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Cotton Mouth 9 p.m. Nov. 27 & 28

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Highway 238, Dirt Floor Krackers, Chris Wood 8 p.m.

Nov. 25. Denied ‘Til Death, Must Not Kill, Chlover Nov. 27. Faze Wave, Sunspots, Harvey Hampton Nov. 28.

Silent Sermon, Four Skin, Automatik Fit Dec. 2 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer 7:30 p.m. Nov. 27. Songwriters Night 7:30 p.m. Dec. 1 RIVER CITY BREWING COMPANY, 835 Museum Circle, 398-2299 Live music 9 p.m. every Sat.

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS, ARLINGTON

LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 DJ Dohan, Anton LaPlume Nov. 25. Be Easy 8 p.m. Nov. 26. Blonde Ambition Nov. 27 & 29. DJ Fellin Nov. 28 & 29. Live music most weekends

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Aaron Koerner Nov. 27. Live music most weekends WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, 634-7208 Corbitt Brothers 9:30 p.m. Nov. 27. Country Jam every Wed. Melissa Smith every Thur. Mojo Roux Blues every Sun.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

SHANTYTOWN PUB, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Bleak, LA-A 8 p.m. Nov. 30. Live music most weekends THREE LAYERS CAFE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Alaina Colding 8 p.m. Nov. 28

THE KNIFE

GIVING THANKS

THANKSGIVING IS UPON US, A TIME WHEN we express our collective appreciation for the all of the good in our lives. Also, a time when the president symbolically “pardons” the White House turkey, then gorges himself on another, less-fortunate (and less publicly slaughtered) bird.

A time when millions of employees wonder how the hell they’ll ever get caught up upon returning to work. A time when families shovel buckets of tradition foodstuffs down their gullets, then sit idly in front of their televisions for countless hours, watching overpaid athletes tap each other on the ass in overt expressions of gratitude.

It was in this spirit that I began searching for the perfect Thanksgiving song. A song whose lyrics can be interpreted a number of different ways, whose melody is festive yet sincere, light yet meaningful. A song that everyone can sing at the holiday table without offending. A song that says, “Thank you.” Literally.

The first one that came to mind was ZZ TOP’S “I Thank You.” Then I remembered the lyrics, which include, “You didn’t have to squeeze it, but you did ... and I thank you,” and “You didn’t have to hold it but you did ... and I thank you.” Questionable to whip that one out at the Thanksgiving table. But it might work later in the evening, when the kids are asleep and you’ve kicked everyone else out of your house.

LED ZEPPELIN’S “Thank You” is less salacious, a simple love song hinging on those two important words. But it specificity takes it beyond a general statement of thanks. So I thought about Sly and the Family Stone’s “Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin),” whose lyrics are part War with Satan, part family get-together, part indecipherable gibberish. Kind of perfect for such a pseudo-religious/family-oriented/ gibberishy holiday.

Changing gears a bit, I gave ASHANTI’S “Thank You” a listen, and though the lyrics are generic enough to apply to most anyone (or anything), her a capella singing is eardrumsplittingly bad. She really should be thanking her handlers for keeping her career alive. And her tone-deaf fans for buying her music.

Grammy-winning country legend RONNIE MILSAP performs at The Florida Theatre Nov. 29, Downtown.

THE KNIFE

KELLY CLARKSON’S “Thankful,” on the other hand, is a soulful (albeit way-sentimental) dedication to her family and friends. She lays waste to Christina Aguilera’s sample-laden “Thank You,” a nice but impossible-to-listen-to dedication to her fans. And speaking of a soulful song of fan appreciation, family and friends, Boyz II Men’s “Thank You” is a full-on mid-’90s classic. Funky, if a bit beat-boxy, these guys could sing when they wanted to, and they do on this one in a big way.

Since all of those songs are a bit serious in tone, I looked for a little levity in the next batch. MKTO’S anti-appreciation anthem “Thank You” is certainly a candidate for the kids to sing over the holidays.

Though the song is an over-produced piece of crap, I can’t help but chuckle at the thought of a bunch of angry adolescents slinging handfuls of cranberry sauce across the room and shouting the lyrics at the tops of their lungs, blaming the ’rents for all the evil in the world. Not to mention the injustice of having to sit at a table made for elves.

BARENAKED LADIES’ “Thanks That Was Fun” is sardonic enough to fit the holiday season, a breakup song with a horrible laborious rhyme scheme and a jingle-jangle guitar line that ... never mind. That song is terrible. Almost as bad as Gavin Degraw’s unintentionally laughable “I Have You to Thank.” Almost.

One should not overlook ALANIS MORISSETTE’S “Thank You,” a sincere, far-reaching song of thanks. Is the song humorous? Not really.

But the video. Oh, the video! For its entirety,

Morissette is nude, possibly making a statement about body image or freedom or ... whatever, but her hair covers her breasts and her downstairs is blurred, thus blotting out any real social commentary. And that makes me laugh. A lot.

But how to offer undistilled appreciation? What song captures the essence of gratitude? The depth of true thanks for everything we experience in life, good and bad? I’d consider Otis Redding’s grubby and soulful “I Want to Thank You,” ABBA’s cheesily innocuous “Thank You for the Music” and Bonnie Raitt’s sweet and bluesy “Thank You.” But the one that resonates most deeply for me is SINEAD O’CONNOR’S “Thank You for Hearing Me.” Before she sank into the swirling weirdness of fabricated Internet controversies, O’Connor was an unparalleled songbird, with a singular voice and a knack for song interpretation. “Thank You for Hearing Me,” co-written by O’Connor and John Charles Reynolds, runs the full gamut of emotion, from deep appreciation of all the good to a recognition that pain and suffering are also something to be thankful for.

It’s what makes us stronger, helps us grow and (fill in the blank with personalized self-help platitude here). If we could all remember that, if but for a moment, we might be less eager to kick everyone out of the house immediately following the 4 p.m. football matchup.

And then be thankful when the game doesn’t go into overtime.

John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrest aurant.com. F Chef Scotty Schwartz’s traditional regional cuisine has modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. F Southwestern fare; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Innovative breakfast: Eggs on the Bayou, fish-n-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEECH STREET Bar & Grill, 801 Beech St., 572-1390, beech streetbarandgrill.com. In a restored 1889 home, Chef Charles creates with fresh, local ingredients. Local seafood, handcut Florida steaks, housemade pasta, daily specials, small plates, street food. $$$-$$$$ FB D Tue.-Sat.; Brunch, D Sun. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com.

F Family-owned; historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio.

Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Fine dining, historic district. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE O. PARK. ELIZABETH POINTE Lodge, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. F Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian. Porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER Pizza, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. PABLO’S Mexican Restaurant Grill & Cantina, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049. Chicken, carnes, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials. Margaritas. $$$ FB K TO L D Daily THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F Near historic district. Sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads, made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PI INFINITE COMBINATIONS, 19 S. Third St., 432-8535, pi32034.wix.com/piinfinite. All bar service; NYC-style.

Specialty pizzas, pie/slice, toppings: truffle mushrooms, little neck clams, eggs, shrimp. Courtyard. $$ BW TO L D Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast.

Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F BOJ winner. Second-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront. Crabcakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F 2015 BOJ winner. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S Wings & Grill, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S Subs, 1301 Monument Rd., 724-5802. F SEE O.PARK. The STEAKHOUSE @ Gold Club, 320 Gen. Doolittle Dr., 645-5500, jacksonvillegoldclub.com. Lunch and dinner specials, free happy hour buffets Thur. & Fri. $$$ FB L D Daily

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes, Nathan’s grilled hot dogs. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned & operated 20+ years.

American pub. 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta.

Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ winner. 40+ years. Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. 2015 BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows, Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic cuisine,

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015

From remarkable sandwiches to full butcher services, it’s a complete deli experience at PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI in Avondale. Photo by Dennis Ho

DINING DIRECTORY lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LARRY’S Giant Subs, 3928 Baymeadows, 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows, 425-9142. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows, 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI Grille, 9551 Baymeadows, Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned Thai place serves traditional fare, vegetarian, new Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Lowsodium, gluten-free, too. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. TEQUILA’S Mexican Restaurant, 10915 Baymeadows, Ste. 101, 363-1365, tequilasjacksonville.com. F Authentic fare, made daily with fresh ingredients. Vegetarian dishes; daily drink specials. Nonstop happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily The WELL Watering Hole, 3928 Baymeadows, Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, wines by glass/bottle, champagne cocktails. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, homestyle vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO D Tue.-Sat. WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. New gastropub has craft beers, burgers, handhelds, tacos, whiskey. $$ FB L D Sat. & Sun.; D Daily.

BEACHES

(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. F 2015 BOJ winner. Subs made with fresh ingredients for more than 25 years. One word: Peruvian. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201.

F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. ESPETO Brazilian Steakhouse, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884, espetosteakhouse.com. Just relocated, serving beef, pork, lamb, chicken, sausage; full menu, bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 F 2015 BOJ winner. Latin American, tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily LARRY’S Subs, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE O.PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner.

Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean spot, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine in, or patio. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojo bbq.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style, Delta fried catfish, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily NIPPERS Beach Grille, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300, nipp ersbeachgrille.com. Chef-driven Southern coastal cuisine, dishes with Caribbean flavor. Island atmosphere on the ICW.

To get your restaurant listed here, just call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. fwbiteclub.com.

2015 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

Dine in or on Tiki deck. $$ FB K L D Wed.-Sun.; D Mon. & Tue. POE’S Tavern, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637. Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet burgers, hand-cut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, iconic seafood place. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. Specialties: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beach-casual spot.

Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS Sports Grille, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. 2015 BOJ winner. 20+ tap beers, TVs. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily SURFING SOMBRERO, 222 First St. N., 834-9377. New oceanfront place serves authentic fare – like paella. Drink specials. Dine in or outside. $$ FB L D Daily SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. New craft sandwich shop has Yankee-style steaks and hoagies, all made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S Deli, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com.

F New York-style deli has freshly made subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian items. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. THE CANDY APPLE Café & Cocktails, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717, thecandyapplecafe.com. Sandwiches, entrées, salads. $$ FB K L, Mon.; L D Tue.-Sun. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has served genuine Italian fare 35+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. OLIO Market, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri. SWEET PETE’S, 400 N. Hogan St., 376-7161. F All-natural sweet shop has candy made of all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey. $ TO Daily ZODIAC Bar & Grill, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiac barandgrill.com. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Wed.-Sat. $ FB L Mon.-Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar.

Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S Wings, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-owned-andoperated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.Sun.; D Nightly

DINING DIRECTORY

MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS

AKEL’S Deli, 12926 Granbay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN.

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ATHENS Café, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199.

F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S Wings, 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-7087. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. FIRST COAST Deli & Grill, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477.

Diner: pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers. $ K TO B L Daily LARRY’S Subs, 11365 San Jose, 674-2945. F SEE O.PARK. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods MArket & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines.

Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT Pizza & Grill, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. Casual, familyfriendly eatery. Pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials, burgers, pasta, plus gluten-free-friendly items. $ FB K L D Daily

ORANGE PARK

DICK’S Wings & Grill, 6055 Youngerman Cir., 778-1101, dickswingsandgrill.com. 1803 East West Pkwy., 375-2559.

2015 BOJ winner. NASCAR theme. 365 varieties of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com.

Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LARRY’S Giant Subs, 1330 Blanding, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding, Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt, 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F All over the area, Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 33+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups, salads. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snacshack. menu. F New bakery and café has bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies, snack treats. $$ K BW TO B, L & D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F 2015 BOJ winner.

SEE BEACHES.

DICK’S Wings, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswings andgrill.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com.

2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for Americans; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S Deli, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., 388-8384. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches.

Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F BOJ winner. Juice bar; organic fruits, veggies. 300+ craft/imports, 50 wines, meats, deli, raw, vitamins. Wraps, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual; sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. $ TO B L Daily KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617 Locally-owned, family-run shop; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S Subs, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE O.PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, chicken, ribs. Sides: beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas. HH Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret, 854-9300, obroth ersirishpub.com. F Shepherd’s pie w/Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PATTAYA Thai Grille, 1526 King, 503-4060. SEE BAYMEADOWS. rain dogs, 1045 Park, 379-4969. BOJ winner. Bar food. $ D SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Healthy, light vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tue.-Sun. SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafe jacksonville.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll.

Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. CARMELO’S Marketplace & Pizzeria, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. New York-style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats & cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily DICK’S Wings & Grill, 965 S.R. 16, 825-4540. 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Updated Southern fare.

Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 25+ years. Varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

GRILL ME!

JOHN VARAMOGIANNIS Johnny’s Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., Riverside BIRTHPLACE: Queens, New York

YEARS IN THE BIZ: 20

FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Kostas Pizza Italian FAVORITE CUISINE STYLE: Italian and Greek GO-TO INGREDIENTS: Garlic, onion, sea salt IDEAL MEAL: Meatball parmingiana, side salad, French fries WON’T CROSS MY LIPS: I’ll eat anything.

INSIDER’S SECRET: Always use fresh ingredients.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING AT MY RESTAURANT: Sheriff John Rutherford CULINARY TREAT: Bakalava BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. New American, Southern twist; locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 & 2, 855-1181. F 2015 BOJ winner. Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Local craft beer, espresso, coffee, wine. Rotating drafts, 75+ can craft beers; sodas, tea. Rotating seasonal menu: waffles, pastries, toasts, desserts, specialty coffees, craft beers. $$ BW K B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com.

Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily.

DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro atmosphere in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger.

Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Wknd brunch. B, L D Tue.-Sun. EDGEWOOD Bakery, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. 68+ years, full-service. From-scratch pastries, petit fours, pies, custom cakes. Espresso/pastry café: sandwiches, smoothies, soups. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET Café, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2015

MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ONE TWENTY THREE BURGER HOUSE, 123 King St., 687-2790.

Spot from Carmelo’s owners. Premium burgers, made with beef from NYC butcher Schweid & Sons. Wood-fired pizzas, ice cream bar, Old World milkshakes. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. SEE BEACHES.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL Thai & Sushi, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basil thaijax.com. F Authentic Pad Thai, curry, tempura, vegetarian, seafood, stir-fry, specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean/French inspired; steak frites, oakfired pizza, raw bar seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S Wings, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. EUROPEAN STREET Café, 1704 San Marco, 398-9500. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University W., 636-8688, fusion sushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily The GROTTO Wine & Tapas Bar, 2012 San Marco, 398-0726.

NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

DINING DIRECTORY F Artisanal cheese plate, empanada, bruschetta, cheesecake.

60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S Bar & Grille, 3333 Beach, 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. F BOJ winner. Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, drinks, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily KITCHEN on San Marco, 1402 San Marco, 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. BOJ winner. Local, national craft beers, specialty cocktails, seasonal menu, fresh, locally sourced ingredients. Sunday brunch. $$ FB L D Daily MEZZE Bar & Grill, 2016 Hendricks, 683-0693, mezzejax. com. Classic drinks, basil martinis, 35 drafts, local/craft brews, Mediterranean cuisine. Hookah. Happy hour. $$ FB D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks, 398-3701, metrodiner.com.

F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Ave., 399-8815, pizzapala cejax.com. F Family-owned; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Outside dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Ave., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Craft beers, craft cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106,

807-9060. F SEE AMELIA ISLAND. DICK’S, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. BOJ. SEE O.PARK. DIM SUM Room, 9041 Southside, 363-9888, thedimsum room.com. Shrimp dumplings, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET Café, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717.

2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Brnch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. 2015 BOJ winner. European-style dining influenced by Italy, Spain, Mediterranean. Small plates, entrée-size portions, selections from charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

DICK’S Wings, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Ste. 101, 619-9828.

2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. HOLA Mexican Restaurant, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S Subs, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK.

photo by Rebecca Gibson

BITE-SIZED

Stepping just outside my COMFORT ZONE at Riverside’s newest Italian eatery

CEPHALOPODS

I was lucky enough to sample a fair number of menu items, which gave me the opportunity to try dishes I’d never willingly order, like grilled octopus or spaghetti tacos. Take it from me: It’s worth stepping out of the box at Il Desco.

My favorite dish was definitely the octopus ($13).

NOVEMBER SEEMS TO BE THE BEST MONTH The plating was wonderful: octopus legs atop to open a restaurant. Last week, we visited tomato sauce and arugula. There was even squid Sbraga & Company, the newest addition to ink artfully decorating the dish. After naïvely Brooklyn (the Jacksonville ’hood, not the New frowning at the plate for a few moments, I threw York City borough). And on November 12, the caution to the wind and cut off a tiny piece of corner of Park and King in Riverside welcomed the charcoal-colored leg. As I nibbled, my eyes a new place for modern Italian fare: IL DESCO, got bigger and bigger. The flesh was incredibly which means “the dinner table.” A few months tender and moist, so unlike the rubbery texture ago, the investment group and solid pun-sters I’d expected. Puttanesca sauce (game recognizing game) Forking added a garlicky flavor to the Amazing Restaurants (Ovinte, IL DESCO MODERN smoky, delicious eight-legged Bistro Aix, Cowford Chophouse) ITALIAN sea creature. Guess who got snatched up what was formerly 2665 Park St., Riverside, seconds? This biped.

Pele’s Wood Fire Pizza and gave 290-6711, ildescojax.com All of the pizzas came hot it a nice facelift – don’t worry, the out of the celebrated oven, wood-fire ovens remain. Adding with bubbles of slightly burned crust – that extra some authenticity to the restaurant’s name, Il kick of authenticity. It’s hard to choose a favorite Desco has a community table which seats 20 pie, but I’ll go with the Brussels ($18). Sprouts, hungry customers, along with a smattering of garlic, pancetta, and smoky cheeses topped giant booths and tabletops. The interior has a the crispy crust. Il Desco also has gluten-free modern, sophisticated look, with décor de jour crust, because Chef Lynch knows that everyone touches like exposed beams, hanging lights deserves the chance to try the restaurant’s shaped like ice cubes, and colorful succulent forking amazing pizzas. plants atop the tables.

Il Desco conceives its own take on authentic Executive Chef Ian Lynch (Ovinte) crafted Il Italian dishes, adding more character to a Desco’s menu, which includes pasta and pizza, bustling Riverside corner; but more than that, plus a raw bar of oysters, clams, and fish. In it offers a dinner table where all can eat, drink, addition, Il Desco offers craft cocktails, complete and feel comfortable enough to step out of our with freshly shaved ice. All of Northeast Florida’s culinary boxes. craft beer devotees might need to scoot over to Rebecca Gibson make room for its cocktail connoisseurs, because mail@folioweekly.com the drinks here are damn good. Be sure to try the –––––––––––_–––––––––––––––––––––––––– classic Negroni or the Aperol Spritz, Italy’s most Read about more of Rebecca’s dining adventures popular aperitif, which has a sweet splash of at somewhereinthecityjax.com blood orange.

IN A SAFE SPACE

BITE SIZED

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015

LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO

W E E K LY

FOLIO LIVING

PET

DEAR DAVI

LOVERS’

GUIDE

diarrhea, and sluggish behavior. If you want a flavorful feast, bark for a dribble of turkey broth over your kibble.

STAY SOBER: Grapes and hops are both toxic to dogs, and so is the alcohol itself, leading to disorientation and possibly death. Lapping two teaspoons of whiskey can cause a coma; three teaspoons could kill. And food like rum cake and wine sauce have enough alcohol in them to also be a threat.

GIVE THANKS (WITH A SIDE OF CAUTION) FOR PETS, THANKSGIVING CAN BE THE scariest fall holiday.

With Thanksgiving feasts just around the corner, my mouth is already watering anticipating those savory aromas in the kitchen. But before gobbling up a heap of goodies, let’s take a gander at some helpful hints.

TURKEY TALK: Before drooling over a slice, make sure it’s boneless and well-cooked. Eating raw meat could make you sick. Tell Mom to choose white over dark meat. It’s lean and easier to digest. And stay away from the skin. Turkey skin is fatty.

BEWARE OF BONES: Don’t snatch that carcass from the table. Turkey bones are dangerous. They are small and can become lodged in your throat or splinter and cause severe damage to your stomach and intestines. Ouch!

SAGE ADVICE: Sage makes tasty stuffing, but sneaking a bite can make you sick. These herbs contain oils that can turn your stomach and cause central nervous system depression. Cats are especially sensitive, so spread the word to your feline friends. (We know you have some!)

WATCH THE DOUGH: Raw bread dough is a no-no. Your body heat will cause unbaked dough to rise and expand in your stomach like it does in an oven, causing vomiting, stomach pain, and bloating.

TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING: A scrap of food won’t ruin your diet, but stuff your muzzle with too many treats and you could end up with an upset stomach, pancreatitis, and extra poundage.

Beg for a long walk around the block instead of another plateful.

CUT THE FAT: Fatty foods, like butter and gravy, not only tip the scale, but cause vomiting,

STASHED TRASH: Don’t dig in the bin.

Gulping a mouthful of spoiled food could cause garbage gut (that’s a real thing), which means vomiting, diarrhea, and an unexpected trip to the veterinarian.

GRUB TO SNUB: Onions and garlic destroy blood cells and lead to anemia. Grapes and raisins have a toxin that causes kidney damage. And chocolate, especially baker’s chocolate, can be fatal. The dangers of these things are so off the charts, just sniffing around them could cause harm.

FETCHING FOODS: Be thankful for food that keeps you healthy. Green beans, carrots, pumpkin, and sweet potatoes are all yummy treats and good for you, too!

Of course, the best recipe of all is the treat of love, attention, and playtime!

Davi mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Davi is a brown dachshund with an appetite for adventure. He loves sweet potato treats, playing at the park with friends, and exploring the unknown.

BEASTS OF BURDEN: PET TIP OF THE WEEK DON’T DO ME LIKE THAT Meet-and-greets between kids and dogs can be fun – and they can also be important opportunities to teach good behavior and responsibility. However, for dogs, these episodes can also cause a great deal of anxiety. Washington Post pet columnist Robin Bennett says to look for signs of discomfort in your dog when he or she is interacting with children, such as stiffening of the body, yawning (outside the context of being tired), half-moon eye (seeing the whites of the outer edges of the dog’s eyes), lip licking, or – even less subtle – growling. And, for those animals not used to being around kids, these behaviors – especially the growling – are fairly common.

A

D

GRANDE

O

My Cup Runneth Over I’m a big-boned lady with love to spare. At only 10 years old, I’m in my prime.

I enjoy the company of other cats but need human companionship. Go one size up and adopt me!

For adoption information, visit jaxhumane.org

P

T

A

B

L

E

S

BRAWNY

I Clean Up Real Nice I’m a burly boy with a gentle soul. Everyone sees the brawn, but I’ve got brains, too. I know all the tricks and can’t wait to show you. What is “total package” in dogspeak?

For adoption information, visit jaxhumane.org

To see your pet event here, send event name, time, date, location with complete street address and city, admission price, contact number/website to print, to mdryden@folioweekly.com – at least two weeks before the event.

NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

JONESINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; THE FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD by MATT JONES. Presented by

SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A NORTH 280-1202

VIRGINIA WOOLF, HONEYBEES, LIECHTENSTEIN & COMETS

SOUTHSIDE

AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Easy As Pieâ&#x20AC;? ( â&#x20AC;Ś if you have inside info.)

ACROSS

1 Comedian dubbed â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Entertainerâ&#x20AC;?

7 Label in a folder 15 Singer Grande 16 Better than usual 17 Meter reader of sorts 18 Makeover, perhaps 19 Houdini, notably 21 Hall & Oates, e.g.

22 Dodeca-, quartered 23 â&#x20AC;&#x153;In __ of flowers ...â&#x20AC;?

27 Ugly Betty actor Michael 29 They go through a slicer 34 Bike turners 37 Lucy Lawless TV role 38 Apprehend, as a criminal 39 Jupiter and Mars, among others 42 Great respect 45 __ Your Enthusiasm 46 Required 50 Show sadness 53 Work with a meter 54 Twin Peaks actor MacLachlan 55 Easter candy shape 58 Body scan, for short 59 Pie feature, or feature of this puzzleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s other four longest answers 65 Estate 68 More conceited 69 Tableware 70 Make public

71 Artistsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; boards 72 Riata loops

DOWN

1 Confined 2 â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Little Respectâ&#x20AC;? band 3 Round and flat in shape 4 Rendezvous With ___ (Arthur C. Clarke book) 5 Hardly fitting 6 Certain chairmaker 7 M*A*S*H actor Jamie 8 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Like thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll ever happenâ&#x20AC;?

9 California city in a Creedence song 10 Two important ones are a week apart in December 11 Big chocolate name 12 Bee-related prefix 13 Off-the-rack purchase, for short?

14 Suffix for north or south 20 Give help to 24 McKellen of the Hobbit films 25 Frat house H 26 Connector for a smart device 28 It may be pulled in charades

Solution to â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Bridged Versionâ&#x20AC;?

(Something is, uh, missing) (11/18/15) : 2 5 ' $ / 2 ( ; ( 1 $ ' 5 , 6 % , ' ( 6 1 ( $ , 6 $ ' ( / 7 ( 6 6 ( ( 6 8 ' ' 2 5 ( 2 + $ / ) 2 / $ )

8 & 2 2 1 , 1 1 . 7 , $ 6 ; / 6 ( 1 $ *

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6 / $ %

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6 0 ( $ 5 6

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49 Asylum seekers 51 Practice lexicography 52 Boxing arbiter 56 Like first names 57 ___SmithKline 60 Lie down for a while 61 â&#x20AC;&#x153;SVUâ&#x20AC;? part 62 Running in neutral 63 Cold War news agency 64 Cosmetic surgery, briefly 65 Drill sergeantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;oneâ&#x20AC;?

66 ___ _ momentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s notice 67 Dumbo frame

30 Adjective for Lamar Odom in recent headlines 31 Travel division 32 Privy to 33 Created 35 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Livinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; La Vida ___â&#x20AC;?

(1999 hit) 36 Adult material 40 â&#x20AC;&#x153;We ___ Queen Victoriaâ&#x20AC;?

41 Aug. follower 42 Beseech 43 Word often seen near 42-Down 44 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Slipperyâ&#x20AC;? fish 47 Pizza Hut competitor 48 Mountain dog breed

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015

ARIES (March 21-April 19): â&#x20AC;&#x153;We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange,â&#x20AC;? wrote novelist Carson McCullers. â&#x20AC;&#x153;As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known.â&#x20AC;? Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re feeling that kind of homesickness.

People and places that usually comfort donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have power. The experiences you seek to strengthen your stability arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t working. The proper response? Go in quest of exotic, experimental stimuli. In ways you may not be able to imagine, they can provide the grounding you need. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll steady your nerves and bolster your courage.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Pekingese dog breed has been around for 2,000-plus years. In ancient China, it was beloved by Buddhist monks and emperorsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; families.

Its origin legend: A tiny marmoset and huge lion fell in love, but the contrast in their sizes made union impossible. Then the gods intervened with magic to make them the same size. Out of the creaturesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; consummated passion, the first Pekingese was born.

This myth can serve as inspiration. Amazingly, you may soon find a way to blend and even synergize two elements said to be quite different. Who knows?

You may even get divine help.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Author Virginia Woolf wrote this message to a dear ally: â&#x20AC;&#x153;I sincerely hope Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll never fathom you. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re mystical, serene, intriguing; you enclose such charm within you. The luster of your presence bewitches me â&#x20AC;Ś the whole thing is splendid and voluptuous and absurd.â&#x20AC;? Whisper sweet things like that in the weeks ahead. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in the Season of Togetherness, a good time to seek and cultivate interesting kinds of intimacy. If thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no one to whom you can sincerely deliver a memo like that, search for such a person.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Some people are so attached to wearing a favorite ring on one of their fi ngers, they never take it off. They love the beauty and endearment it evokes. In rare cases, years go by and their ring finger grows thicker. Blood flow is constricted. It gets uncomfortable and they canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t remove the precious jewelry with even a little olive oil or soap and water. They need a jewelerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s help: the professional uses a small saw and a protective sheath to cut away the ring. This may be an apt metaphor for a situation of yours. Do you wonder if you should be free of a sentimental constriction youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve outgrown? Get help.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Are you willing to dedicate yourself fully to a game whose rules constantly mutate? Are you resourceful enough to keep playing at a high level even if others donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have as much integrity and commitment? Do you have confidence in your ability to detect and adjust to ever-shifting alliances? Will the game still interest you if you find out the rewards arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t what you thought? If you answer yes to these questions, jump all the way into complicated fun!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Has your body been unusually healthy and vigorous lately? Why? Have you been taking better care of yourself? Have there been lucky accidents or serendipitous innovations on which youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been capitalizing? Make these new trends a permanent part of your routine. A similar observation about your psychological well-being: It seems to have been extra strong recently. Why? Has your attitude improved to generate more positive emotions?

Have there been breakthroughs unleashing surges of hope and good cheer? Make these trends a permanent part, too.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): From the dawn of civilization until 1995, we cataloged about 900 comets in our solar system. Since then, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve expanded that tally by more than 3,000. Most recent discoveries have been made by non-astronomers, including two 13-yearolds. They used the Internet to access images from the SOHO satellite placed in orbit by NASA and the European Space Agency. After analyzing astrological omens, I see you Sagittarians enjoying a similar run of amateur success. Trust your rookie instincts. Feed your innocent curiosity.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Whether or not youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re actually a student in school, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll soon be given a final exam. It may not happen in a classroom or require a written response to questions. The exam will more likely be administered by life in the course of your daily challenges. The material youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be tested on will include lessons youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been studying since your last birthday. There will be at least one section that deals with a subject youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been wrestling with since early on â&#x20AC;&#x201C; maybe even a riddle from before you were born. Since you have free will, you can refuse to take the exam. Hope you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. The more enthusiastic you are about accepting its challenge, the more likely it is youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll do well.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): â&#x20AC;&#x153;Most human beings have an almost infi nite capacity for taking things for granted,â&#x20AC;? wrote Leo author Aldous Huxley. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the bad news. The good news? In the weeks ahead, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re less likely to take things for granted. Not because familiar pleasures and sources of stability are in jeopardy; rather, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve become more deeply connected to your life energyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s core. You appreciate what sustains you. Your task: Be alert for the eternal â&#x20AC;&#x201C; youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll find it wells up out of the mundane.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): For $70,000 a night, you can rent the entire country of Liechtenstein for a big party.

The price includes the right to rename the streets while youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re there. You can create temporary currency with your likeness on the bills, have a giant rendition of your favorite image carved in the snow on a mountainside, and preside over a festive medieval-style parade. Given your current astrological omens, consider the possibility. If thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s too extravagant, at least gather your legion of best friends for the Blowout Bash of the Decade. Time to explore mysteries of vivid, vigorous conviviality.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the quest to collect nectar, honeybees are highly attuned to the importance of proper timing. Even if flowering plants are abundant, the quality and quantity of the nectar available vary with the weather, the season, and the hour of the day. For example, dandelions may offer their peak blessings at 9 a.m., cornflowers in late morning, and clover in mid-afternoon. Be equally sensitive to sources where you obtain nourishment. Arrange your schedule to consistently gather what you need at the right time and place.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Are you available to benefit from a thunderbolt healing? Would you consider wading into a maelstrom if you knew it was a breakthrough in disguise? Do you have enough faith to harvest an epiphany that begins as an uproar? Weirdly lucky phenomena like these are on tap if you have the courage to ask for overdue transformations. Your blind spots and sore places are being targeted by lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tenderness. Just say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yes, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m ready.â&#x20AC;?

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

CLASSIFIEDS HELP WANTED

NEED POKER DEALERS Need part time Texas Hold ’Em Dealers for Home Tournaments. Will be trained if no prior experience. shivas@sbcglobal.net (12-2-15) PHONE ACTRESSES FROM HOME Must have dedicated land line and great voice. 21+. Up to $18 per hour. Flex Hrs./most Wknds. 800-403-7772. Lipservice.net. (AAN CAN) (12-9-15) MAKE $1,000 WEEKLY!! Mailing brochures from home.

Helping home workers since 2001. Genuine opportunity. No experience required. Start immediately. TheWorkingCorner. com. (AAN CAN) (12-2-15) PLANT OPERATOR Material Technologies is seeking an Operator for our facility in the Jacksonville area. Responsibilities include operating plant equipment, material testing and sample collection. greg.moore@boral.com. (11-18-15) 2016 BICYCLE TRIP LEADER POSITIONS AVAILABLE VBT Bicycling and Walking Vacations is currently accepting leader applications for the 2016 tour season. Please go to vbt.com/ careers/ for an application packet and more details. (11-25-15)

STRUGGLING WITH DRUGS OR ALCOHOL? ADDICTED TO PILLS? Talk to someone who cares. Call The Addiction Hope & Help Line for a free assessment. 800-978-6674. (11-18-15) ELIMINATE CELLULITE and Inches in weeks! All natural. Odor free. Works for men or women. Free month supply on select packages. Order now! 844-244-7149. (M-F 9am-8pm central) (AAN CAN)(12-23-15)

VEHICLES WANTED

YOUR PORTAL TO REACHING 85,000+ READERS WEEKLY

areas including Ponte Vedra, the Beaches, and more. Contact: 904-304-0810. www.ultrasoftpressurewashing.com. (11-25-15)

HOUSING WANTED

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roommates.com! (2-3-16)

ADOPTION

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or not! Top dollar paid. We come to you! Call for Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808. cash4car.com. (AAN CAN) (12-2-15)

PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. (AAN CAN) (12-2-15)

TOWN AND COUNTRY GEOGRAPHICS Contact: townandcountrygeo@gmail.com for your individualized GIS needs. (12-2-15) PRESSURE WASHING ROOF CLEANING Restore the beauty of your home or business with our exclusive zero pressure roof cleaning services for Jacksonville, Florida and surrounding

CURIOUS ABOUT MEN? Talk Discreetly with men like you! Try FREE! Call 888-779-2789. guyspyvoice.com. (AAN CAN) (11-18-15) VIAGRA!! 52 PILLS FOR ONLY $99.00. Your #1 trusted provider for 10 years. Insured and Guaranteed Delivery. Call today 1-877-621-7013. (AAN CAN)(11-25-15)

SERVICES

ADULT

CAREER TRAINING

AIRLINE CAREERS BEGIN HERE – Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance, 800-725-1563. (AAN CAN) (12-21-15)

FINANCIAL

ARE YOU IN BIG TROUBLE WITH THE IRS? Stop wage & bank levies, liens & audits, unfiled tax returns, payroll issues, & resolve tax debt FAST. Call 844-753-1317. (AAN CAN) (11/25/15) ATTENTION BUSINESS OWNERS – Get up to $250K of working capital in as little as 24 Hours. (No Startups). Call 1-800-426-1901. (AAN CAN) (12-2-15)

LEGAL NOTICES

NOTICE UNDER FICTITIOUS NAME LAW Pursuant to Section 865.09, Florida Statutes NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that the undersigned, desiring to engage in business under the fictitious name of Zen Your Skin loc, Nan Clegg. (12-2-15)

HEALTH

CPR CERTIFIED, RESTORATIVE C.N.A. IN P.N. SCHOOL WITH 13 years’ experience, looking to assist with transfer/A.D.L.s, blood pressure, meds, cook meals, toilet & light housekeeping, documentation & tools for vitals provided. $20 for first hour, $15 for each additional hour of home-care. Available M-F 3pm-6am. For info call/text 904-729-3142. (11-25-15)

NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

NEWS OF THE WEIRD THE PATIENT WILL SEE YOU NOW

OK, no more Ms. Nice Copy Editor. The word limit is FORTY (40). Y’all submit ISUs with waaaay more than 40, so I have to TAKE WORDS OUT. What if one word was vital info for your target to recognize you, fall in love and y’all ride off in the sunset? Oopsie!

Struck out AGAIN because you can’t count words (or spell, but that’s another battle for another week). It’s your own damn fault. Who’d love a dork who can’t even count?

CELTIC CUTIE @ CELTIC FEST You hugged me. I gave you band picture. You left with your friends too soon. Been thinking about that meeting ever since. Would like to continue where we left off. When: Nov. 14. Where: Jax Beach Celtic Fest. #1572-1125

HUNGER GAMES Hungry; got hungrier you entered. Told me you were going east to eat genuine Asian. Wanted to talk more but you had to go because your cousin, Jimmy, owed you a quarter. Let’s eat out together? When: Sept. 14. Where: China Wok. #1562-0923

LAVENDERISH HAIR You: Cute, blondish lavender hair, print dress; dropped phone outside library reopening. Me: Riverside guy, glasses, blue shirt; picked up phone, chatted. Met again; you left. Wanted to talk more. Like to get acquainted further. When: Nov. 14. Where: Willowbranch Library. #1571-1125

NICE SMILE You: Brown hair, thin bearded guy, nice smile, bright eyes, blue “Good” sneaker T-shirt, with friends. Me: Short, thin brunette, blue/white tank, table across yours. Caught your eye, smiled. Like to know you better. Grab a drink? When: Sept. 11. Where: World of Beer Southside. #1561-0916

LITTLE RIVER BAND CONCERT You: Tall, long-haired dude, very handsome. Chatted in box office @ Florida Theatre. Me: Too shy to introduce myself. I’ll be @ Art Walk Nov. 19. If feeling’s mutual, bring me a flower. When: Nov. 5. Where: Florida Theatre. #1570-1111 FIRST WATCH HOT BREAKFAST You: Hot guy, adorable dog; sexy smile, gorgeous blue eyes, captured my heart. Me: In love with you. Hoping you’ll give me chance someday to be your Queen. Let’s run away to the islands together. When: Oct. 31. Where: First Watch Ponte Vedra. #1569-1104

ECLIPSE RIVERSIDE 9/11 Super-cute brunette, ’80s night, black romper, white sandals. With group. Me: Solo; noticed matching outfit friend telling you to ask me to dance. Wanted to approach. Group left. Second chance? I’d dance the night away with you. When: Sept.

11. Where: Eclipse Riverside. #1560-0916 FIRE BUG I saw you, late night on a Friday. You were on fire, so hot. Couldn’t tell if it was your flaming personality or that fl aming staff. Night dives, long chats, but why you didn’t you ever text me? When: Sept. 4.

Where: Beach. #1559-0916

IT MATTERS To me ... in my dreams. Remember still, our time. Your lips, your intoxicating scent. US, together.

One night of bliss maybe? Mexican magic? When: Oct. 7. Where: Los Portalas. #1568-1104

YOU WALKED IN TATTOO SHOWIN’ ISU: Black leggings, open shirt, chest tat, soft voice, boots, hopeful eyes, smooth skin. You said black don’t crack. Love to have good time with you; you said futile; keep trying. Sorry about bad night. When: Sept. 4.

Where: Parental Home Road. #1558-0916

MOM WANTS YOU Daughter and I outside Lynch’s. You: LEO on bicycle, handsome, great calves! Later, dealt with Walgreens drunk. Little shy … my daughter said to get your attention. Drinks, Super Troopers, Training Day … what’s your speed? When: Oct. 13. Where: Lynch’s Jax Beach. #1567-1028

BLUE ORBS You: Jean shorts, blonde hair, biggest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. I swear they glowed; when I fi rst saw you, lights in the place went dim. Can’t remember shirt color; just passing through, mesmerized by your eyes. When: Sept. 2. Where: Bold Bean Riverside. #1557-0909

YOU WAVED BACK GRINNING You: Bad-ass-looking guy, big black truck. Me: Soccer-mom-looking girl, silver minivan. Waved at you driving on 295-N, played a little cat-and-mouse, you got off on I-95-S. Let me prove looks can be deceiving. When: Oct. 3, 7-ish.

Where: 295 North. #1566-1021

YOU LEFT ME … SPEECHLESS The Prince Party. Your purple face stopped my heart. Wanna see your moves, your lights, every night. Let’s meet again: you, me and Prince. We can be silent together. When: Aug. 28. Where: 1904 Music Hall. #1556-0909

NOTHING MATTERS Self-hypnosis can’t stop me thinking from of you. No matter where I go and what I do, I still remember those beautiful eyes and the way my heart jumps when I see you. When: Oct. 6. Where: Luigi’s Pizza. #1565-1014 HOT MINI DRIVER You: Getting in red Mini near SunRay, hot white-rimmed glasses. Drake blasting from car as you almost hit in crosswalk; gave me a thumbs-up. Me: Tall skater nerd, Donuts For Jesus shirt. You Let’s hang out. When: Sept. 29. Where: Five Points. #1564-1014 TALL, DARK, HANDSOME, PATRIOTS FAN Jags/ Pats game. You: Pats shirt, jeans; with friends by bus watching game. Me: Short wavy auburn hair, Jags tank, cut-offs. Locked eyes as I went to sit. Heart skipped a beat at your handsomeness. Drinks on me, celebrate your win? :) When: Sept. 27. Where: Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach. #1563-0930

60-YEAR-OLD HIPPIE CHICK You still believe in those 60s values, modern technology, bikinis, no money worries, meditation, humanism, being groovy. Me: Bearded, beyond cool beach bum. Us. Why wait? Let’s fall in love, live at beach. Anything’s possible.

When: Aug. 20. Where: Mickler’s Landing. #1555-0909 NATURE’S OWN BY MY OWN! You: Tall, handsome Nature’s Own truck driver delivering bread to Burger King; most beautiful guy I’ve ever seen!

Me: Ordering drive-thru breakfast. You smiled at me, our eyes met. Let’s meet 6:15p Sept. 5 @ BK. When: Aug. 29. Where: BK, Blanding/Kingsley. #1554-0902 EVERY SUPERWOMAN NEEDS A SUPERMAN You: Tall, dark, collared shirt buttoned to top, shorts, Jordans, drink, surrounded by ratchets. Me: Average height, slim, slacks, blouse, bun hair, lured by lightskin man (insider); chose one another instead. 1 year, counting. Love you!

When: April 30, 2014. Where: Jim’s Place. #1553-0902

BOWL ME OVER Me: In the mood to be pinned. You: TALL, DRUNK AND HANDSOME You: Hanging out in a Lakers jersey. Bowling but said you’d rather play video sleeveless Budweiser shirt. I like your shitty leg tattoos. games. Said you’re about to take a trip into Asia. Can Me: Overgrown Mohawk and too many hooker shots. we bowl balls together in Asia? When: Sept. 25. Where: Bake me some bread and get pretty with me. When: Jax Lanes. #1564-0930 June. Where: Your lap, Birdies. #1552-0902 30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015

Professional patients now help train wouldbe doctors, especially in the most delicate and dreaded of exams (gynecological and prostate), where a becalming technique improves outcomes. One “teaching associate” of Eastern Virginia Medical School told The Washington Post in September the helpers act as “enthusiastic surgical dummies” to 65 medical colleges, guiding rookie fingers through the trainer’s own private parts. The prostate associate might helpfully caution, “No need for speed here,” especially since he’ll be bending over for as many as nine probings a day. A gynecological teaching associate, mentoring a nervous speculum-wielder, might wittily congratulate pupils on having a frontrow sight line the “GTA” will never witness: an up-close view of her own cervix.

GOD ATE MY HOMEWORK U.S. parents have

a right to home-school their kids, but are subject to varying degrees of regulation, with Texas the most lax, and one El Paso family will have a day before the Texas Supreme Court after one of its kids was reported declining to study because education was useless since he was waiting to be “raptured” (as described in the Bible’s Book of Revelation).

THAT JERRY MAGUIRE GUY SAID IT WAS OK

U.S. courts increasingly allow customers to sign away state and federal rights by agreeing to contracts providing private arbitration for disputes rather than access to courts — even if the contract explicitly requires only religious resolutions rather than secular, constitutional ones. A November New York Times investigation examined contracts ranging from Scientology’s requirement that fraud claims by members be resolved only by Scientologists — to various consumer issues from home repairs to real estate sales limited to dockets of Christian clerics.

FIRST-WORLD SPENDING According to

estimates released by the National Retail Federation in September, 157 million Americans “planned to celebrate” Halloween, spending a total of $6.9 billion, of which $2.5 billion would be on costumes, including $350 million dressing up family pets.

HE WAS THE NICEST GUY IN TOWN Skeptics feared it was just a matter of time until the “political correctness” movement turned its attention to dignity for common thieves. San Francisco’s SFGate.com reported in November on a discussion in an upscale neighborhood about whether someone committing petty, nonviolent theft should be referred to by the “offensive” term “criminal” rather than as, for example, “the person who stole my bicycle,” since “criminal” implies a harsher level of evil and fails to acknowledge factors that might have caused momentary desperation by a person in severe need.

FUN AND GAMES American and European entrepreneurs offer extreme “games,” in which liability-waiving “players” volunteer — willingly — for hours of kidnapping, pain and death threats, but the cult-like, underthe-radar “McKamey Manor” in Southern California (said to have a waiting list of 27,000) is notable for the starkness of its threats of brutality — and the absence of any “safe word” with which a suddenly reluctant player can beg off. Only Russ McKamey himself decides if a player has had enough.

The “product” is “100 percent fear,” he said.

“We’re good at it,” he told London’s The Guardian in an October dispatch from San Diego, whose reporter overheard one of McKamey’s thugs promise, “I’m going to tear that girl [player] apart” and “No one is leaving with eyebrows today.”

IT WASN’T HIM – JUST LIKE SHAGGY!

Nicholas Allegretto, 23, was convicted of the crime of shoplifting in Cambridge, England, in October (in absentia; he’s still at large).

The prosecutor is certain that Allegretto is the guilty party because, soon after the theft took place in February, police released a surveillance photo of Allegretto, showing him leaving the store with the unpaid-for item, and Allegretto had come to a police station to complain the suddenly public picture made him look guilty. In fact, he claimed, he meant to pay for the item but got distracted and besides, his body language often looks somewhat “dodgy,” anyway.

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

NOVEMBER 25-DECEMBER 1, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

SR. SYSTEMS ADMINISTRATOR Sr. Systems Admin req’d to dsgn, install, upgrade & maintain SAP BOBJ & Data Srvcs, VMWare, vSphere. Monitor, perform sizing, setup security /arch. diagrams/SOPs/ test plans/EU Docs.Dvlpmnt using tools Webi, Crystal, Lumira, UDT/IDT, Explorer, Dsgn Studio, DS Dsgnr, Java, VB/.NET, Oracle, DB2, Teradata, Sharepoint. MS degree in Comp. Sci/Apps, IT/IS, Sci., Engg or closely rltd field plus 2 years of exp. in job, or alternatively, a BS degree in one of the same or closely rltd field plus 5 yrs of progressively responsible experience in job.

Foreign Equiv. Degree Ok. Mail Resumés to Chadwick Riley Corp, 12443 San Jose Blvd #402, Jacksonville FL-32223