Folio Weekly 10/14/15

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

THIS WEEK // 10.14-10.20.15 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 29 COVER STORY

CONCRETE RENEWAL

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Largely considered the oldest continually operating skatepark in the country, KONA may soon get a facelift.

STORY BY NICK McGREGOR PHOTOS BY JEFF DeMARCO, JOSH HANSBROUGH & DENNIS HO

FEATURED ARTICLES

A COMEDY IDLE

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BY DANIEL A. BROWN ERIC IDLE grants Folio Weekly an audience to preview his upcoming show here with John Cleese

AUDIT-CALYPSE NOW

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BY AG GANCARSKI Jacksonville is broke; NOW WHAT?

INDIE SPIRIT

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BY DAMIAN K. LAHEY As a wrestling promoter, ELLA QUILLEN manages her share of egos

COLUMNS + CALENDARS OUR PICKS MAIL/B&B FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS/JAGCITY LET THERE BE LIT CITIZEN MAMA

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FILM/MAGICLANTERNS 18 ARTS 22 MUSIC 27 LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR 28 THE KNIFE 30 DINING 31

BITE-SIZED LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE ASTRO/I SAW U CLASSIFIEDS CROSSWORD NEWS OF THE WEIRD

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Our Picks

Reasons to leave the house this week

THE RAP SURE JOEY BADA$$

Brooklyn rapper Joey Bada$$ might be a mere 20 years old, but he’s already surrounded himself with some of the more intriguing fellow hip hop artists.

Since rising up from the mixtape underground just a few years ago, Bada$$ has worked with such heavyweights as Pete Rock, Q-Tip, DJ Premier, and MF Doom. After releasing a series of well-received EPs, singles and mixtapes, this year he dropped his first full-length, B4.Da.$$, which has received big ups from critics and hit No. 5 on the Billboard 200. 8 p.m. Oct. 21 with openers Bishop Nehru, Denzel Curry, and Nyck Caution at Freebird Live, Jax Beach, $22, freebirdlive.com.

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO HARP DEBORAH HENSON-CONANT

The Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra Beach presents virtuoso harpist Deborah HensonConant, whom guitar-shredder hero Steve Vai has described as “the Hendrix of the harp,” in the fundraising concert “Hipharp For the Arts: a Concert Benefiting Music Therapy Outreach.”

In performance, Grammy-nominated HensonConant runs her electric harp through an array of digital effects as she displays her virtuso playing and singing skills through jazz, blues, and everything in between, along with a good dose of comedy. 7:30 p.m. Oct. 17 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $45-$110; a portion of the proceeds benefits music therapy outreach programs; pvconcerthall.com.

FINE ART OTHER CRITERIA Artist and educator Thony Aiuppy continues to offer high-quality shows at his new X.Nihilo Gallery. The latest exhibit, Other Criteria, features works

by Kelly Long and Mark Creegan (pictured, Syllabus, acrylic on panel, 11x11), who use mixed media to create works as enigmatic as they are engaging. Local lovers of contemporary art must check out this show. Opening reception is 6-9 p.m. Oct. 16, X.Nihilo Gallery, 956 N. Liberty St., Springfield; the show displays through Oct. 30, galleryxnihlo@gmail.com.

BLUES EXPLOSION

BEN PRESTAGE If your idea of real Americana is Bukka White, Mississippi Fred

McDowell, and Son House, then look no further than the one-man-band, blues onslaught of Ben Prestage. Sitting behind a couple of kick drums, multi-instrumentalist Prestage blasts through an arsenal of originals and traditionals, while switching from dobro, electric and acoustic guitar, lap steel, banjo, fiddle, blues harp, and his custom-made “diddly bow” and back again. A favorite at international festivals, Prestage is also a must-see during his annual appearances at White Springs’ Florida Folk Music Festival, where he consistently raises the roof. 7:30 p.m. Oct. 15, Mudville Music Room, St. Nicholas, $10, raylewispresents.com.

ROLL OUT THE BARREL SERTOMA CLUB OKTOBERFEST

Breakout the lederhosen! This weekend, the St. Augustine Sertoma Club presents its inaugural Oktoberfest, with traditional German food, German and domestic beers, desserts, a biergarten tent stage with live music from Be Easy and Chillula, food from local restaurants, arts and crafts, a bouncehouse, and face-painting.

11 a.m.-8 p.m. at Francis Field, St. Augustine, $5; free for ages 10 and under; proceeds benefit Farm to Family, a program dedicated to feeding St. Johns County’s poor, as well as other local charities; sertomastaugustine.org, farmtofamilyflorida.org.

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

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THE MAIL BLESS HIS HEART

RE: “A CATHOLIC EDUCATION NEVER ENDS” BY AG GANCARSKI, OCT. 7 I hope AG Gancarski won’t give up on Pope Francis or Catholicism based upon the Kim Davis incident.

It’s yet unclear just what occurred and why, and it’s quite likely that he was ill-used by some of the hierarchy in allowing this to happen in the fi rst place. The Church is not the Vatican, the hierarchy, or even the clergy. It’s the believers who must provide the impetus for making it faithful to Christ’s teachings, even when its leaders disappoint.

Give Francis more time, and be forgiving of any missteps if they should occur; after all, he’s as human as we are and subject to placing a foot wrong on occasion. Thankfully less often, it seems, than some of his predecessors. Hope I’ll see you in church someday – what could it hurt?

Joe Lowrey via email If you would like to respond to something that appeared in the pages of Folio Weekly, please send an email (with your name, address and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com.

BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS BRICKBATS TO ERIC FRIDAY Speaking on WJCT just days after the most recent mass shooting on a college campus in Oregon, the lead attorney for the gun rights group Florida Carry Inc. argued in favor of allowing students to bring fi rearms into classrooms, despite virtually all stakeholders affiliated with local schools – including professors, university presidents, and campus police officers – opposing such measures.

BOUQUETS TO BROOKE AND HAP STEIN for their generous gift to Museum of Contemporary Art Jacksonville. The Brooke & Hap Stein Emerging Artist prize will help the museum seek out, feature, and assist local, regional, and national artists. Benefits for the recipients include an exhibit of their work at MOCAJax, a public program at the museum, acquisition of a work for the permanent collection, and a stipend. The inaugural prize will be awarded in March 2016.

BOUQUETS TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY FUND FOR NORTHEAST FLORIDA for donating a total of $108,000 in grants to four local nonprofit organizations: ElderSource, Jacksonville Area Sexual Minority Youth Network (JASMYN), University of North Florida LGBT Resource Center and PFLAG of Jacksonville (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). The monies will benefit programs ranging from care for the elderly and disabled to LGBT advocacy and support.

KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A PROVERBIAL BRICKBAT? Please send your submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Submissions should be a maximum of 50 words and directed toward a person, place, or topic of local interest.

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

FIGHTIN’ WORDS

AUDIT-CALYPSE NOW Jacksonville is broke; NOW WHAT?

DURING HIS MAYORAL CAMPAIGN, LENNY Curry promised a 90-day audit of the city’s financial situation. The audit, available in draft form at this writing, reveals a city with serious financial challenges that Curry needs to resolve early in this term.

It is expected to be released this week.

Maybe it has been already — but let me save you some time: It’s uglier than Wacko’s at last call.

Let’s begin with the recent austerity in city government. Flat wages have drained talent from the city. Jacksonville has lost 1,079 fulltime employees from FY 2011-FY 2014, and wages have been flat since 2008.

Why have wages been flat? Unfunded pension liabilities, the potential expiring of the “automatic contribution” from JEA in FY ’16 (a potential loss of $35 million in revenue), and an inability to impose an indigent care tax like other cities (which, if it existed, would mean $75 million more).

Meanwhile, the long-term budget forecast is problematic.

“Projected annual deficits of more than $30m beginning in FY ’17 are not sustainable and would result in the depletion of the General Fund unassigned fund balance by FY ’18 or FY ’19 … Absent additional action, annual pension contributions from General Fund could be greater than $244m in FY ’19 … .”

And that’s best case: Ad valorem tax revenue is projected to increase by 4 percent per annum. If that dips? You dip. We dip.

To resolve pension issues, the Curry Administration is encouraged to identify “revenue streams outside the general fund.”

It needs to rework collective bargaining deals, and reorganize departments and organizational structure.

Taxes? Too low. Smoke-and-mirrors budgeting resulted in recent years’ “salary lapse and unfunded positions.”

What little surplus that General Fund has will be consumed if Curry doesn’t make moves quickly. Five-year projections show a $24 million annual General Fund deficit if current conditions hold.

Departments are understaffed. But there’s no money to hire new people. The city is urged to “evaluate opportunities by department to identify ideal staffing levels based on technology investment and process reengineering.”

Good luck, bro.

“Given rising labor costs, anticipated incremental contributions to the retirement systems and anticipated capital expenditures, the level of uncommitted general fund cash must be closely monitored.”

Without meaningful reform, meanwhile, “general fund equity in pooled cash is

projected to decline closer to the Emergency Reserve level assuming lower JEA contributions” and “potential budget overages could accelerate the decline.”

And that need for reform is driven by the pension crisis, which shows Jacksonville in a worse position, by far, than other Florida cities. Police & Fire is 46 percent funded; the total pension fund, including jail workers and general employees: 55 percent funded.

The General Employees Pension Fund would seem, at 66 percent funded, to be in a position of strength. However, in 2009, that number was 77 percent.

“Pension plan benefits are a significant cost and liability to the City,” the report continues.

Note the word “liability.” Members aren’t contributing enough. The retirement age is too low. COLA hikes are too high.

Taxes aren’t high enough. And the Banking Fund, which functions as the city’s credit card, is a quarter-billion in the hole.

The Emergency Reserve, for emergencies like hurricanes and Blake Bortles, may be “tapped into” as early as next year if JEA doesn’t play ball.

What does all this mean?

We are brizoke.

This, after almost a half-decade of so-called economic recovery.

This, even though Jacksonville’s economy has expanded at twice the national rate.

In a boom time, our government has been locked into 2008 mode.

John Peyton embraced it out of necessity; the shit was hitting the fan macroeconomically. Alvin Brown was playacting as a fiscal conservative in a naked bid for Tea Party support.

The irony, now, is that Curry, the most diehard Republican of them all, will have to be the guy who solves these issues, probably raising taxes, and probably bucking the public sector unions.

And that’s if we don’t have a replay of 2008 in his first term on the global level.

Chamber Republicans believe we can grow our way out of this. Those who look at economic conditions flatlining despite artificially low interest rates may be skeptical.

And the inconvenient truth is that, despite decades of development-driven growth, our city leaders have simply kicked the can down the road, past the $62M scoreboards and the $500M courthouse, and now?

It’s a good thing backyard hens are legal now.

Because the chickens have come home to roost.

AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

JAGCITY

THE LAST DAYS OF GUS BRADLEY

DEAD COACH WALKING tour p hits Tampa

G

us Bradley finally took the mask off.

Throughout the season, his Pollyannaish postgame press conferences have seemed, as I’ve observed here, sometimes disconnected from empirical reality.

In the words of the Velvet Underground, he’s beginning to see the light.

For however many of these losses there have been in recent years, there’s been a pattern.

Mostly, it’s been Bradley giving the “hey, bro, it’s the journey not the destination, ya dig?” speeches, instead of addressing the intractability of the Jaguars’ performance.

This week, he got MAD; apparently, he’s finally starting to point the finger.

Is it resolve? Or rigor mortis?

“I’m hoping that this setback shocks us to get things right, you know?” said Bradley, who added: “You say, ‘Hey Gus, you said this was built.’ It is built. We’ve got enough good players in that locker room to do better than what we’re doing on the field today.”

That is arguable. Bortles’ numbers were solid, and so were those of the twin Allens, Hurns and Robinson. Yeldon showed up in the passing game.

None of those guys plays defense, though.

The cats on defense got rolled over by Doug Martin, who’d previously gone many moons without hitting paydirt. Martin shredded the Jag defense like Fawn Hall on document detail.

Meanwhile, welcome back Julius Thomas, the formerly svelte, fast, matchup nightmare tight end whose hurt thumb didn’t stop him from spending his stint on the injured list in the buffet line.

When I saw Thomas, I did a double take, wondering when the Jaguars re-signed Terrance Knighton.

That’s our big cats, though. There’s no accountability with the team. Oh, sure, plenty of lip service about accountability. But really, the last time there was anything like that with this squad was when they lost to the Titans for a third time in 1999.

How do you get their hopes up, Shad and Gus, week after week? How do you keep investing them in a rudderless product in which the coach, who’s gotten free rein, for the most part is lamely saying, as another season goes up in flames, that we have good players who need to play better.

More than 7,000 Jags fans drove to Tampa.

I hope they enjoyed Mons Venus and Ybor.

Certainly looks like the Jags did. They started slow, again. Collapsed at a pivotal time, again.

And padded up the old garbage time stats at the end of the game to make it look good.

We’ve seen good football come through this city. We saw Coughlin’s glory years. And then, when the roster was in cap hell, we saw that same coach (who, of course, messed up the cap situation to being with) actually win games with “talent” that couldn’t have stuck on half the practice squads in the league.

So the Jags come back to Jax Sunday against the Texans, and Arian Foster, who is himself again, looks poised to run the ball down their throats. And yes, DeAndre Hopkins will likely burn them for a 10-150-2 line.

Happy to be proved wrong, but it’s looking rough out there.

Let’s do the time warp again.

AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

NEWS

INDIE SPIRIT As a wrestling promoter, ELLA QUILLEN manages her share of egos

United States Wrestling Alliance promoter Ella Quillen (left) has to manage some unpredictable personalities, including Dagon Briggs (above).

IF THERE WERE A BATTLE ROYAL AMONG states, Florida would emerge the undisputed pro wrestling champion of the U.S. Over the years, WCW and TNA have done live tapings at Universal Studios, the WWE promotion NXT has done the same at Full Sail University in Winter Park, and scores of high-profile wrestlers have lived or still live in the Sunshine State — John Cena, Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, to name a few. And even though we’re a long way from the territory days of Jim Crockett and Sam Muchnick, the indie circuit — where up-andcoming wrestlers brawl in front of small but enthusiastic crowds for a chance to make it big with WWE, NXT, TNA or Ring of Honor — is thriving here in Florida.

Jacksonville’s premier indie promotion is United States Wrestling Alliance, owned by hometown babyface Ella Quillen.

The USWA began in 2011, holding its first event at Snyder Armory off Normandy Boulevard. Over the next few years, the USWA built a solid reputation on imaginative booking, creative characters and interesting angles. A lifelong wrestling fan, Quillen worked the door and helped behind the scenes in the marketing department. Unfortunately, like a lot of creative group projects, the USWA dissolved into a mess of petty arguments, delusional personalities and unnecessarily inflamed egos.

Suddenly, the promoters wanted to be in the ring and on the mic more than the wrestlers.

The booking became inconsistent and as the promotion crumbled, Quillen grabbed the reins and took over as owner in October 2014.

“I’ve wanted to run a wrestling promotion my entire life. I didn’t want to see the USWA die and I saw my chance to save it,” Quillen says. The 46-year-old Quillen, whose torn jeans and ’80s hair-band T-shirts reflect her rock-’n’-roll personality, has made a reputation for herself as a spirited promoter.

She claims WWF and TNA stars like Shawn Michaels, Jeff Hardy and Bret Hart are her favorite wrestlers.

As a female in charge in a male-dominated business, Quillen says she faces unique challenges. “The fact that I’m a woman — no one takes me seriously,” she says. “They don’t think women should be in wrestling in any professional capacity unless they’re one of the WWE DIVA wrestlers.”

For her part, Quillen’s proved her toughness under some challenging circumstances.

The USWA had its first show under Quillen’s ownership in January with Wrestle Bowl 2015. Though the event drew a large crowd, many of the wrestlers fans expected to show from the promotion were absent. Little things go a long way in indie promoting — there wasn’t a merchandise table set up, and not enough of a pitch of building the angles.

It was simply a tournament. This didn’t go unnoticed by fans in the audience.

Things took a sharp turn for the worse at Wrestle Bowl’s follow-up in May at USWA: Invasion at the Armory.

“I lost my ass on that show,” Quillen admits. “However, there was no way I was going to quit.”

Though she’s not one to make excuses, she cites poor word-of-mouth, as well as back-biting from certain envious local indie wrestling personalities as contributing to the event’s dismal attendance. “There’s no shortage of haters in Jax,” Quillen is quick to point out.

The stakes were high for the next event.

Quillen couldn’t afford another financial hit and there were rumors the promotion would fold if July’s show bombed. Quillen decided

it was time go back to what originally made USWA succeed.

“We needed to bring key players back in the locker room and make this a better event in every way,” Quillen says of the event that had the potential to be her last.

According to many who were there, July’s USWA: Red, White & Bruised was a dynamite return to form. Back were fan favorites Jon Davis, Chance Champion, Flash-N-Cash Hayden Price, Ian Shire, Brandon Alexander, the tag-team Circle of Disrespect, and exciting newcomers like Clyde Braddock and Eric Wayne. And the Armory was packed. The merchandise tables, absent at the past two shows, engaged the fans and allowed the traveling stars to make some much-needed cash.

Quillen is hoping to build on the success of Red, White & Bruised for the upcoming show this month, Fall Brawl. She’s upping

We needed to bring KEY PLAYERS back in the locker room and make this a BETTER event in every way the ante with an Open Challenge Match between USWA’s Heavyweight Champion Dagon Biggs and current TNA talent known as “England’s Most Violent Wrestler” Martin Stone. The show also features the return of original USWA wrestlers like Tim Zybysco and Maxwell Chicago.

Quillen’s driving force is her love of pro wrestling. “Listen, this is my passion.

That’s why I do it,” she says. But to keep indie wrestling alive in Northeast Florida, she’ll need more than passion. “In terms of money, the goal is to break even. Which is fine. In this age, if you want to do something like this, you’re going to have to put some of your own capital into it and realize you’re not going to get rich. That’s the deal.”

Damian K. Lahey mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ United States Wrestling Alliance Presents: Fall Brawl, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 17, Snyder Armory, 9900 Normandy Blvd., Westside, facebook.com/ events/1640874286197476

LET THERE BE LIT

SCULPTED

BY TIME AND

SURVIVAL F

rances Driscoll’s new collection of poems, Seaglass Picnic, feels more private to her, more personal, than her 1997 book The Rape Poems.

Yes, you read that right.

“The new poems are so open, so immediate,” Driscoll says, “but they’re not poetic at all.”

When I ask her what she means, she says, as she so often does, “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe a literary critic could tell you. I’m just a poet.”

“The first day after the rape, I knew I would never write again, and a few weeks later I started writing The Rape Poems.”

It happened two days after Driscoll released her first chapbook of poems, Talk to Me. “I do this all the time, he said. / I ruin everything.” He said his name was Ray, asked her if she liked to bowl.

The poems are unbearably hard to read, but impossible to put down. They’re sharp, bright, also deceptively occasional, conversational, full of the things Ray said, the unintentionally upsetting statements of friends and strangers.

“Sodomy, Kate says, sodomy. That’s such a difficult word.” A dentist says, “If you can lie still through this, / you can lie still through anything.” The name “Ray” appears on page 134 of an unnamed book.

Though the poems speak clearly, they deal constantly with the inability to speak. That paradox runs throughout the book.

The poet still finds “no language to describe” what she describes. “Please. I could not say that word again for a long / time without immediate need of those good pills.” In the poem “Entertaining Ray,” Driscoll writes, “Inventing Ray, I fail over and over. / Nothing sounds right.

Or true. Except / hunger. Terrible hunger. Even in / the womb I see him, mute mouth moving.”

Yet the book’s epigraph quotes poet Therese Plantier, “No one writes me. I am waiting,” and the responses from rape victims have poured in for 20 years. One woman wrote to Driscoll, “Thank you for finding the words to say what I could not,” since she’d never told anyone, even her husband, about being raped at 16.

After a reading in Redlands, California, a girl told Driscoll she’d read the book hundreds of times, that it had kept her alive. At a Cleveland reading, a 13-year-old girl, who’d been raped when she was eight, told her mother, “She knows how I felt. She knows how I feel.”

The word “ocean” occurs 49 times in Seaglass Picnic, six times in the titles alone.

Driscoll still calls Jacksonville’s beaches home.

She lives near her dear friend Bill Slaughter, the retired University of North Florida English professor and poet who first championed The Rape Poems when journals that had previously published Driscoll’s work were afraid to publish them. Before anyone else, Slaughter published a Rape Poems chapbook in his online journal, Mudlark.

More recently, UNF English professor and

writer Mark Ari recorded Driscoll reading from the book for his online journal, EAT Poems.

And whatever strange experience a “seaglass picnic” is, the book called Seaglass Picnic is it. There’s something playful here, a je ne sais quoi, the charm maybe only a French phrase could capture of the “I don’t know what” quality. While Driscoll’s rape poems are sharp, seaglass is smooth and rounded by time, tide and survival.

But the rape endures. Don’t ask Frances Driscoll what she thinks of words like “catharsis” or “closure.” Trauma is permanent.

“Maya Angelou said of her own childhood sexual abuse, ‘Not a day goes by that I don’t think of it.’ But she still became Maya Angelou.”

In the new poem “Addiction,” Driscoll writes, “Nobody ever gets / to fly home.” It reminds me of the Thomas Wolfe novel You Can’t Go Home Again. When I ask her about that resonance, she says “home” means “a safe return, a safe refuge.”

When I ask Driscoll about the 49 occurrences of the word “ocean,” she says, “Just make up an answer. I don’t know. I’m just the poet.” OK. So I do: Though “ocean” sounds like the opposite of “home,” the ocean is the primordial and original home.

I still like that last sentence, but not nearly as much as what Driscoll says next: “The ocean’s a character in the book. There are other characters. One’s named Andy. Ocean is another.”

It took Frances Driscoll about seven months to write the poems in Seaglass Picnic.

That’s part of what she means when she calls them “immediate.” By contrast, she worked on The Rape Poems for 10 years.

She calls The Rape Poems more poetic and Seaglass Picnic too private. She sees the irony in that statement. But in the earlier poems, she says, she focused less on being raped than on the poetic line, the right rhythm and word, the comma that could save a poem.

About Seaglass Picnic, she says, “This book isn’t my work at all. This book is my heart and my life.”

Tim Gilmore mail@folioweekly.com __________________________________________

Seaglass Picnic is scheduled for release on Nov. 1.

Driscoll’s books are available at Amazon.com, pleasureboatstudio.com/Books/Frances_Driscoll.html, and unf.edu/mudlark/mudlark02/contents.html.

OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

CITIZEN MAMA Nurse-turnedadvocate says move EUREKA GARDEN residents now

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. That’s what activist and advocate Denise Hunt said when she witnessed the squalor her fellow citizens were living in within Jacksonville’s subsidized housing communities.

It’s whom she said it to that matters.

Hunt, a registered-nurse-turned-advocate, isn’t positive she’s the reason Mayor Lenny Curry visited Eureka Garden Apartments on Oct. 2. But she says she mentioned it to him more than once when she had the chance to meet him on the campaign trail.

“I did ask him to come, twice, when I had occasion to be alone with him,” she says.

“We can’t change anything without someone speaking out about it.”

And something needs to change, immediately, at Eureka Garden. The complex’s owner, the Rev. Richard Hamlet, CEO of the nonprofit organization Global Ministries Foundation, is now in the local news. Readers may not realize that he’s also been in the local news in Memphis. And Atlanta. And Orlando. In all these places, residents of his properties have complained about substandard living conditions.

“What really got to me was the mold, as a nurse,” Hunt says. “That’s neglect and exploitation of those children’s lives in those conditions.”

Mold directly harms human health, Hunt told Folio Weekly. It triggers allergies, bronchitis, and pneumonia. In people with asthma, it can precipitate very serious pulmonary attacks.

“The children’s story needs to be told. If you can’t breathe, then nothing else matters.”

Hunt videotaped one child describing his breathing trouble, she says, and the owner’s representative threatened her with jail. It was an empty threat, because Hunt acted with the parent’s consent. But it’s indicative of how the owners do things.

The owners said at a resident meeting, which was videotaped and posted on Hunt’s Facebook page, that they didn’t want “the Gestapo” coming in. The representative was ostensibly referring to government inspectors.

Hunt says that the owners — whom she calls “slumlords” — are themselves more analogous to the Nazi regime’s Gestapo, because they’re housing poor people in unhealthy ghettos.

“When I call it a concentration camp, I’m serious,” she says. “We got human rights abuses right here in this city.”

Hunt, a 48-year-old black woman, got called out for not supporting incumbent Mayor Alvin Brown in the last mayoral election. She’s a student of how to shake up the status quo, and a teacher of the art, as well. Hunt’s daughter, Brittany Richardson, videotapes her mom’s advocacy work, and has accompanied her on several visits to Jacksonville’s northwest neighborhoods.

To say Hunt is outspoken is an understatement. She shows up at public meetings, talks to everyone she can, and “speaks truth to power” using her daughter’s videos and her own bully pulpit, social media.

But it was a quieter, more private conversation between Hunt and thencandidate Curry that put Eureka Garden Apartments in the news.

As WJCT and WJXT reported, Global Ministries owns 61 housing complexes in 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

BREATHING

IS FUNDAMENTAL

eight states. These are places where underpaid women who clean, care, and cook live with their children, with help from the taxpayers, because they can’t afford to live anywhere else.

Global Ministries may be registered as a nonprofit organization with the IRS, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t getting rich working there. Who needs “for-profit” status when your salary delivers more than $400,000 per year? That’s what Global Ministries’ IRS form 990 listed as Rev. Hamlet’s income in 2013. News accounts say that what he puts in his bank account now is more like $576,000.

I’d like to see his expense account.

Here’s what WJXT investigative reporter Lynnsey Gardner found in a recent HUD audit: Of the $7.2 million in federal funding that Hamlet’s company received to run apartments like Eureka Garden, Hamlet spent only 3 percent on maintenance and repairs.

That’s probably why the walls are caving in from decay. It’s likely why the staircases are deteriorating, and refrigerators aren’t working.

“All I asked,” Hunt says about her conversations with Mayor Curry, “was for him to come out and see about the people.”

What happened next shocked the conscience of the former chairman of the Republican Party of Florida. When he saw what Hunt saw — bad ventilation, cockroaches, toxic mold — the longtime politico was visibly shaken.

He’d ventured a long way from cocktailparty fundraisers in chandeliered ballrooms.

Standing on the steps, having just exited one resident’s apartment at Eureka Garden, Curry was pale and sweating.

“He came out that door, his eyes locked on me,” Hunt says. The mayor then told the press that the living conditions were unacceptable —

Denise Hunt (left), as photographed by her daughter Brittany Richardson, now has the Mayor’s ear. for children, for adults, for anyone.

“He said, and I will never forget this, ‘I can’t breathe.’ Then he walked over and bearhugged me.”

And now the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development — the agency that writes the rent-subsidy checks to Hamlet’s Global Ministries — is looking at five other Jacksonville housing complexes under the same ownership: Washington Heights, Springfield Residential One, Southside Apartments, Market Street Apartments and Moncrief Village.

Prompted by Mayor Curry and Councilmember Garrett Dennis, federal inspectors are now planning to return to Eureka Garden to figure out why the units passed inspection, time and time again, most recently two months ago.

“Who signed off on that?” Hunt asks.

“Somebody got paid off,” she figures.

Hunt is thankful that the mayor kept his word, thankful that he’s pulled in the responsible agencies and that he wants to hold people accountable for permitting this health hazard to exist.

But she says it’s not enough.

“Those people need to be moved outta there as soon as possible.”

If state officials — who must have knowledge of these conditions by now — were actually doing their job, Hunt says, they’d move those families out immediately.

Enough is enough.

Julie Delegal mail@folioweekly.com

HOW KONA SKATEPARK IS RECOVERING ITS FAMOUS FLOW, STARTING WITH THE ICONIC SNAKE RUN STORY BY NICK

McGREGOR

DeMARCO, JOSH HANSBROUGH & DENNIS HO

photo by Jeff DeMarco

PHOTOS BY JEFF

M

Local Vinny Sandoval gets inverted atop one of Kona’s famous concrete transitions.

artin Ramos has a vision. It starts at the front door of Kona Skatepark, where a big sign enumerating the facility’s lengthy rules begins with “Dedicated to the youth of Jacksonville … A skatepark for the whole family.” Ramos, whose close-cropped salt-and-pepper beard is the only thing that belies his 47 years, has cultivated that mission, which was originally instituted by his parents in 1977, since assuming ownership of the park in 1995. Today, that vision expands much further, across the vast concrete expanse’s more than 30,000 square feet.

Although Ramos has grand designs on transforming the trees that separate Kona from the Arlington Expressway into campgrounds, a clearing around Strawberry Creek, and facilities to hold 1,000 spectators, his vision of improvement begins with the Snake Run. Parts of the surf-inspired speed curvature are still as smooth as the day it was laid as the park’s original feature in 1977. Other parts are rough,

cracked, and swollen, as can be expected of anything left to bake in the brutal Florida sun for nearly 40 years.

But the Snake, which descends 100 feet by the end of its 700-foot run, is still the most iconic feature at what is widely considered the oldest privately owned skatepark in the U.S., if not the world. “In the ’70s, skatepark design was all a big experiment,” Ramos says.

“Skateboarding was all about carving and sliding, but no one had capitalized on elevation changes the way Kona did. This was the first park built on a hill — and that made the Snake Run, which was a shot in the dark originally, so unique.”

After skaters sign a release of liability, purchase a yearly pass ($3), pay a daily rate ($7 during the week, $10 on weekends), and emerge from Kona’s air-conditioned pro shop/snack bar/ clubhouse, the Snake Run is the first thing that catches their eye. The rest of the park — J-Run, Freestyle Mogul, Bowl, Pool, Vert Ramp, Street Course — flows outward from its ribbed gray walls and aquamarine bottom. Playboy Magazine included it on the ultimate man’s bucket list. It makes a prominent appearance in the wildly popular 2002 video game Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4. Fifty-something icons like Steve Olson and Dave Hackett still swear by it, according to local

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>> OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

<<< FROM PREVIOUS surf and skate legend Mitch Kaufmann. “To this day, the Snake Run is the fastest, most functional venue in the world for downhill slalom racing,” Kaufmann says. “It’s the ultimate proving ground. There’s no limit to the speed you can harness on it.”

Which is why, after a $50,000 GoFundMe campaign that began on Sept. 30 and ends on Oct. 28, Ramos plans on making the Snake Run the first part of Kona Skatepark to undergo a wholesale renovation. After that, another $1 million in improvements are planned throughout the park in coming years. Though plans are still under wraps, Ramos has sought expert advice on advanced technology for Kona’s Snake Run reno.

“We’re doing another experiment, 40 years after the last one,” Ramos says. “The Snake Run is basically one big natural expansion joint, so even though we’ve started repairs — smoothing out the rough areas, followed by patching and painting it throughout October — we’ve started looking for a more long-term solution.”

Prefacing that has been the biggest general cleanup of the park in years: Removing weatherbeaten ramps, giving the Kona grounds a facelift clearing out debris, overgrown trees, grass, and weeds, and painting the observation decks …

“It’s been a slow process, but we’re definitely making progress,” Ramos says. “Funding will certainly speed up the process, so right now we’re mostly focused on preparing the campaign more than anything else.”

K

ona’s history runs deep — and far beyond the Snake Run. At the 1977 East Coast Pro, Mitch Kaufmann stuck the first recorded elevator drop in skateboarding history on the 10-foot concrete bowl’s six-foot tombstone extension, itself an experiment requested by the park’s first generation of chargers. “When Kona opened, it was the biggest, fastest, heaviest, gnarliest skatepark in the state,” Kaufmann says.

“So we were in heaven. There was no reason to go anywhere else.”

The 1978 U.S. Open attracted Dogtown legends like Shogo Kubo, Tony Alva, Jay Adams, and Jerry Valdez to the East Coast for the first time. That same year, freestyle wizard Rodney Mullen picked up his first sponsor, Central Florida’s Bruce Walker Skateboards, after a contest at Kona. The 1981 Kona Variflex Summer Nationals marked the first official pro/am contest held on a proper vert halfpipe — a photo of champion Steve Caballero even made the September 1981 cover of Thrasher Magazine — and skate demigod Tony Hawk visited Kona for the first time in 1982.

Kona rode skateboarding’s first big commercial wave through the mid-’80s, when local heavies like Buck Smith, Mike Peterson, Frank Baagoe, Scotty Johnson, and Neal Mims all got their starts. But the industry bottomed out in the late ’80s, when Kona stood alone, the only privately owned American skatepark left in existence. When street skating took over in the early ’90s, the park became a ghost town that survived, according to Ramos, thanks to a boom in inline skating. Retail sales rebounded in the flush early 2000s, and that’s when, Ramos says, Kona became a thriving retail shop with a skatepark out back. By 2003, things had stabilized enough for Ramos to save Daytona

Beach’s Stone Edge Skate Park, whose iconic blue vert ramp was nearly bulldozed after 15 years in existence.

But the financial crisis of 2007-’08 left Kona holding $500,000 in inventory. Then Ramos endured his own personal hell in 2011: Two days before Christmas, an SUV plowed into him while he was riding his bike, crushing his leg, blowing out his knee, mangling his shoulder, and confining him to the hospital for six months. With his wife Laurie caring for their two younger daughters, Roxanne (now 11) and Scarlet (now 9), their oldest daughter Cassidy (now 21) about to start college, and the prolonged economic downturn necessitating further downsizing, Martin Ramos says Kona (and Stone Edge) almost went under. “Basically, when I was gone for those six months, nothing got done,” he says. “I had taken on so many responsibilities that the key man discount” — a metric used in small business sales to determine a key employee’s importance — “was 80 percent. But that’s life. Something’s always going to happen. No excuses.”

T

oday, Martin Ramos is mostly back to his normal, endlessly energetic self. Business is on the upswing, too — revenue is a healthy 50/50 split between the park and the shop, while attendance varies from older ramp and pool diehards to younger street skating newbies. Yet Ramos admits to plenty of guilt about the current state of Kona’s physical infrastructure, a fact that was hammered home in May when First Coast News anchor Ken Amaro crashed the park with one of his trademark “On Your Side” investigations after a local mom complained about conditions.

“The main stress I have right now is people’s perceptions that the park is run down,” Ramos says. “Am I stoked on the current state of the park? No. It’s in the worst shape it’s been in 18 to 20 years. Everybody, including me, wants it to be better. Even if it was pristine, I’d still want more.

But to say it’s in disrepair or unsafe? We’ve never made much money here. Skateparks are a labor of love. We’ve been able to keep the doors open without carrying any debt, but the price of that is we have a beat-up skatepark — and maintenance makes or breaks you. So I do appreciate that the news story raised awareness of what needs to be done and how much money is required. Now it’s time to go big.”

Ramos hopes a full-blown capital campaign, crowdfunding effort, and dedicated nonprofit can raise the $1 million he expects to spend on full renovations. The nuts and bolts of the rejuvenation process are already underway. When Kona first announced plans to redo the Snake Run in May, the Facebook post received more than 535 likes, 110 shares, and 70 comments, adding up to more than 35,000 insights.

A nonscientific assessment found that more than 95 percent of those insights were positive. There are critics, however, who accuse Ramos and his family of ripping off local skaters while neglecting the park’s infrastructure. Or those who point out that Kona used a $10,000 Kickback prize from the Gatorade Free Flow “Am I stoked on the current state of the park?

No … Everybody, including me, wants it to be better,” says Kona owner Martin Ramos (below).

The park can give more than smiles. Local shredder (and cover boy) Dane Quintal proudly sports some fresh wounds, compliments of Kona’s unforgiving surface (right).

photo by Dennis Ho

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

photo by Josh Hansbrough

Tour 2010 to renovate nothing but its bathrooms.

Or those who highlight the recent split between Ramos’ fourth annual GoSkate Day event at Hemming Plaza and the inaugural Go Skate Jax gathering at Riverside Arts Market. Or those who ridicule Kona for still adhering to its strict helmet policy and its antiquated “good language, good behavior, and safe skating” commandment.

Ramos says he prefers to focus on constructive responses to Kona’s issues — like the volunteers who showed up to help with phase one of repairing and replacing the street course. “That was very eye-opening and encouraging,” he says. “And I think it really speaks to the culture of skateboarding. This isn’t your run-of-the-mill crowd — these are genuinely passionate, articulate, and creative people who want to contribute.”

As it is with any established institution, Kona’s staunchest defenders are its most longtime adherents. And Ramos says those now run three generations deep. “I’ve got grandparents skating with grandkids, telling them what it was like to be here 30 years ago.

Skateboarding brings families together; it can give kids direction, and it can keep adults healthy. When I grew up, skateboarding was one thing to everybody. Now it’s so many different things to so many different people.”

W

hat’s crazy is that Kona Skatepark almost didn’t have the chance to mean much to anyone. After opening its doors on June 4, 1977, the park went bankrupt twice in the next 18 months and sat dormant for six more before Ramos’ father, also named Martin, decided to purchase it in 1979. He and his wife, Helen, had no experience with skateboarding outside their son’s youthful enthusiasm; Martin III remembers his dad as the son of a Mexican sharecropper who worked his way up to administrator for Baptist Medical Center but still harbored a fierce entrepreneurial streak — and a passion for people.

“My parents were as mainstream as it gets, but didn’t care who you were, where you came from, how many tattoos you had, or if you had just gotten out of jail,” the younger Ramos says.

“Let’s face it — in those early days, they were dealing with the dregs of society. Some of the gnarliest dudes in town became great friends with my parents, along with families like the Ringhavers, the Petways, the Hadlows, and the Claymans. All their kids grew up here with skateboarding as a positive, useful outlet. But everyone was treated with the same kindness

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>> OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

photo by Josh Hansbrough

photo by Dennis Ho

<<< FROM PREVIOUS

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: Ed Gil chooses one of an infinite number of paths through the Snake Run’s wave-like walls; Martin Ramos has grand designs for Kona’s remodel; Local pro Mike Peterson flies high above Kona’s cracks.

and respect — no favoritism for anyone. That’s how my parents earned their respect.”

Respect came grudgingly in the ’80s, when Kona’s strict full-pads, no swearing, no smoking, and no drinking rules rubbed up against skateboarding’s outlaw image. Martin copped plenty of heat from his contemporaries, many of whom resented his free gear, professional contacts, and unlimited access to the park. So he left Jacksonville for Colorado and California in the early ’90s, returning home in 1995 to help take care of his father, who passed away at the age of 62. Then Martin Ramos took over the business.

The family had maxed out credit cards and taken out second and third mortgages on their house to keep Kona going. But with his mother still alive, Martin stuck by the park’s wholesome outlook, even as he struggled to cater to an underground street skating scene from which he felt disconnected. “I was just doing what I could do,” he laughs.

“You know how everybody’s obsessed with DIY now? Kona has always been one big DIY experiment. I always say passion plus persistence equals success. But mainly I’ve just tried to perpetuate the ideals my parents fostered: accessibility, affordability, inclusion, and a sense of community.”

Ramos believes that mission has been significantly enhanced in the last five years.

With the help of his wife and oldest daughter, who’s finishing her degree at Flagler College and has expressed interest in taking over the park, the family has placed more of an emphasis on events like Summer Skate Camp, Florida Bowlriders Cup, King of Kona, Dew Tour, and Pow Wow Pro/Am. “We fell into these events, but we’re good at them, so we figure, ‘Why not develop them?’” Ramos says.

“We just have to find the right formula.”

He admits to looking at NASCAR and TPC for arena-style, outdoor experience inspiration that centers on a core activity. “We don’t have to be like the X-Games,” Ramos says. “Skateboarding can be the priority.” With a mix of guarded optimism, unabashed brio, and possible hubris, Ramos flashes a smile: “Jacksonville could be the San Diego of the South, and Kona could be the ultimate venue for those kinds of events. I want to create the Wrigley Field of skateboarding, open people’s eyes to how good it can be, and keep the authenticity of the Kona experience while sharing it with more people.”

lancing due east across Southside Boulevard at Regency Square Mall could easily squash such lofty goals.

In 1979, the year Ramos’ parents bought Kona, Regency was one of the most profitable retail centers in the nation; by 2013, it lay claim to an abysmal 38 percent occupancy rate. But Kona has a few intangibles that set it apart. Skateboarders are notoriously dedicated and stubbornly loyal; Ramos says at least 10 weddings and ashspreading ceremonies have been held at the park in recent years. “You don’t hear people saying, ‘Football saved my life,’” he says. “But that’s a common theme in skateboarding.”

Skateboarders are also egalitarian and averse to bullshit; Martin says that Kona has maintained mostly amicable relationships with the multitude of competing shops and parks that have come and gone over the last 40 years. “As soon as you stop being a part of the community, you’re done,” he says. “At least eight private parks have opened and said, ‘We’re going to show Kona how it’s done.’ But I’m a skater — if a new park opens, I want to skate it just like everyone else.”

Skateboarding is also old enough that its collective history is finally starting to matter. “It’s only in the last 10 years that the park has really started to mean something to people,” Ramos says. “The handing down of the culture has kept us relevant. So many skateboarders have come here for the Kona experience, and so much influential stuff has happened here that set the foundation for what skating is today. People want to go where great achievements happened, and there are very few iconic places left in skating.”

Local legend Buck Smith, who draws a straight line between his career as a professional skater and his early days at Kona, used the word “iconic” at least five times in our short conversation. “You just can’t find a skatepark like Kona anymore,” he says. “There’s none left. I grew up a mile-and-a-half away and watched the concrete being laid. I watched some of the best downhill skateboarders in the world go down the Snake Run for the first time in 1977, and now I go there all the time with my wife and daughter, who both skate. My daughter loves the Snake Run — she doesn’t like to skate anywhere else.”

At a park with an immensity that can overwhelm even the most experienced of newcomers, that versatility is the Snake Run’s primary appeal. “It’s different for every skater,”

photo by Jeff DeMarco

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

G

Ramos says. “You can haul ass and stay in the gutter, tuck your knees and get all surfy, or ride high off the lip of each bank … anyone can create their own line. It’s universal. Everyone enjoys figuring it out — even the best skaters in the world.”

Heavy lies the crown that assumes responsibility for such a universally loved piece of concrete — especially when it’s about to serve as the jumping-off point for the whole

park’s facelift. And that’s where Martin Ramos’ vision comes in. “We look forward to being meticulous about the renovation process so we can get Kona Skatepark back to where people are proud of it,” he says. “That all starts with the Snake Run. Skateboarding is about having fun, and the Snake Run is one of the most fun things anyone can ever do.”

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly

OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

A&E // FILM Julianne Moore and Ellen Page star in this well-told true story of the figght ht ffor or LGBTQ RIGHTS

LOVE ALWAYS F

WINS

reeheld is a gut punch of a movie. It’s Julianne Moore dying of cancer. Civil rights.

Equal rights. Gay marriage. A flamboyant Steve Carell, whose comic relief has never been more welcome. It’s one of those movies that infuriates you because it’s based on something that should be easy and obvious, and yet closeminded, intolerant bigots impede upon the rights of others. For as much as the world is making progress to move beyond these issues, it’s important to remember the struggles that brought them to light.

Detective Laurel Hester (Moore) is a valuable member of the Ocean City, New Jersey Police Department. Her partner Dane (Michael Shannon) is a womanizer, but cares for Laurel and genuinely likes her as a person. Laurel’s secret is that she’s a lesbian; after a cute meet with Stacie (Ellen Page) at a volleyball game, they fall in love, buy a house together, get a dog, etc. They are as settled as any married couple can be, but it’s 2002 and gay marriage is not yet legal. This becomes a pertinent issue when Laurel is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, and the local government says her pension cannot be passed on to Stacie. Without the help of the pension, Stacie will lose their home after Laurel dies.

So begins the main focus of the movie, which is the struggle Laurel and Stacie face for equal rights. After all, they argue, if a heterosexual

FINAL MASS

HAMMER FILMS HAD ITS FIRST INTERNATIONAL success in the mid-’50s, thanks to three sciencefiction films (The Quatermass Xperiment, X the Unknown, Quatermass II). Still, after The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) and The Horror of Dracula (’58), the studio was mostly identified with Hammer Horror.

The old monsters, like the Mummy and the Werewolf, were reinvigorated with color, blood, and cleavage while Dracula, Frankenstein, and their kith and kin went through sequel after sequel. But science-fiction and Quatermass had not been forgotten.

Though the studio had tried to mount yet another number in the series, with American actor Brian Donlevy as the stalwart rocket scientist, changes in affiliation with American distributors effectively killed the effort until 1967 and Quatermass and the Pit, arguably the very best of the four films in the saga (U.S. title: Five Million Years to Earth). Like its two predecessors, the new film was based on a BBC teleplay by the brilliant and influential Nigel Kneale, who also scripted the movie (with a considerably shorter running time).

Replacing Val Guest as director was Roy Ward Baker, whose 1958 film about the Titanic, A Night to Remember, had been both a critical and popular success for another production company. (After Quatermass and the Pit, Baker became a Hammer Horror stalwart, responsible for such titles as Scars of Dracula, The Vampire Lovers, Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde, and others.) With a bigger budget and more impressive production values, gone also were Brian

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

can’t, what with Laurel’s quickly deteriorating cop dies, his/her spouse would receive the condition. So the fight manifests in the best pension no questions asked, so why shouldn’t way it possibly could when rallying support for it be the same for a homosexual couple? a cause: From the public at large. Men, women, Unfortunately, the town governing body, known children, black, white, doesn’t matter. Only the as “freeholders,” don’t agree and deny Laurel’s pigheaded white men with power (not all of request to allow Stacie to receive her pension. them, but most) don’t see the injustice of the Dane helps them fight the injustice, as does the policies at hand. leader of a group called Garden State Equality, It’s inspiring to see the support Laurel and Steven, played by Steve Carell with great energy Stacie receive, but things get murky that appropriately offsets the story’s when Steven broadens the struggle otherwise dour proceedings.

FREEHELD beyond what Laurel and Stacie As we expect, Julianne Moore is ***@ desire, which distorts the integrity fabulous here. Fresh off her OscarRated PG-13 of the fight. Put another way, all winning turn playing an Alzheimer’s Laurel wants is for Stacie to receive patient in Still Alice, she transforms her pension, and we want that, too, because we from a strong and able detective into a frail, saw them become a loving couple. When larger dying woman who seeks peace of mind and elements such as marriage equality are added justice. It’s ironic, of course, that Laurel fought to the equation, we become less emotionally for justice her entire career, only to endure a invested, which in an odd way isn’t fair to notable lack of it toward the end of her life.

Laurel and Stacie.

Page is solid as Laurel’s significant other, but what’s interesting is that the focus moves Freeheld, based on actual events, is being away from Laurel and Stacie’s relationship and promoted as a story that was a precursor to onto their fight for equal rights. It’s a bit of an gay marriage being approved nationwide. That abrupt transition, and director Peter Sollett may be so. It also may just be a marketing (Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist), working tool. Regardless, on its own terms — and not from a script by Ron Nyswaner (Philadelphia), necessarily as a sociopolitical statement — it’s doesn’t make it smooth. It’s like a two-act play an emotional drama that allows us to invest in without an intermission. its characters and root for the right thing.

Here’s another issue: It’s not Laurel and Dan Hudak Stacie who do the fighting, and they really mail@folioweekly.com Donlevy and black-and-white.

The new Professor Quatermass was played by Scottish actor Andrew Keir, with gorgeous color cinematography by Arthur Grant, who’d done similar work for Roger Corman in The Tomb of Ligeia.

Featuring one of the more mind-boggling plots in sci-fi, the third Quatermass film posits the theory (voiced by the Professor and debunked by the military martinets – with predictably disastrous results) that a mysterious device uncovered in the Underground is not an experimental Nazi bomb but a device from another world, probably Mars, sent to Earth five million years before. Not only that, but human evolution has been genetically manipulated by these early visitors from the Angry Red Planet, whose own race performed periodic violent purges of the unfit. With the awakening of the device, the subconscious impulse toward destruction of the weak is again kindled in the human descendants.

Man’s fear of the horned devil, as it turns out, is actually the racial memory of these beings (distant in time and space), a plot concept first imagined in Arthur C. Clarke’s magnificent novel, Childhood’s End (1953). The only drawback to Quatermass and the Pit is the actual design of the Martians, who are made to look like desiccated grasshoppers. Merely a quibble, given the quality of the production in general.

Nigel Kneale returned to Quatermass one last time in a 1979 four-part BBC miniseries (called

MAGIC LANTERNS

Quatermass) which was near-simultaneously edited for international release as a feature film with the title The Quatermass Conclusion. Both are available on DVD; I prefer the miniseries.

Here’s the story: With England in the throes of social upheaval sometime in the not-too-distant future, the retired Quatermass (John Mills) goes looking for his runaway granddaughter. The girl has joined a weird cult called The Planet People, NewAge hippie types who congregate around ancient ruins like Stonehenge invoking planetary assistance from beyond, like the Rapture on acid. The answer arrives in the form of a destructive beam from somewhere beyond – it eradicates everyone within its focus, and the Earth becomes a Petri dish of sorts.

Though Quatermass dies saving the world, his legacy lives on in science-fiction and popular culture, most obviously in Dr. Who and Torchwood.

There have even been two progressive rock bands called Quatermass and Quatermass II. You can’t keep a good name down.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

FILM LISTINGS FILM RATINGS

CHUCK BERRY **** CHUCK DUKOWSKI ***@ CHUCK BISCUITS **@@ CHUCK MANGIONE *@@@

SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN

SHNIT INTERNATIONAL SHORT FILM FESTIVAL Eight international short fi lms nominated for the global Shnit Fest, wraps up Oct. 18 at Fernandina Little Theatre, 1014 Beech St., $7.50 each screening, 277-2202, ameliaflt.org.

SUN-RAY CINEMA The Martian, Phoenix and Goodnight Mommy screen at 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. They Live runs Oct. 17. Attack on Titan Pt 2 runs Oct. 20. Writers Workshop is Oct. 17.

THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ The Elder Brothers Warning 6 p.m., Aluna 7:45 p.m. Oct. 14. In Bruges and On a Quest screen at 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. Holy Grail, noon Oct. 15; TThe Babadook, noon and 9:30 p.m. Oct. 16. The Singing Sailor, The Thing, The Seven Five Oct. 16. Pelican Pete Oct. 18.

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2 Rated PG In this sequel, Dracula (voice of Adam Sandler) tries to emphasize the half-monster side of grandson Dennis (Asher Blinkoff) to keep up the fear factor in the hospitality business. Costars voices of Steve Buscemi, Keegan-Michael Key, Fran Drescher, Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman, Mel Brooks, Andy Samberg, Kevin James … just about anyone who was on SNL in the ’90s and beyond.

THE INTERN Rated PG-13 Robert De Niro is a great actor, with an intensity that can be terrifying. Here, he’s retiree Ben, who’s paternal, kind, calm. Jules (Anne Hathaway) has started an online fashion site that’s on the fast track. Ben is bored with retirement, so he signs up to intern at Jules’ company.

He’s the voice of wisdom and experience in an otherwise chaotic, millennial-driven company, and all that that implies.

THE MARTIAN **** Rated PG-13 Matt Damon’s new film is a triumph of great storytelling, great visuals, solid performances, and the sheer perseverance of human will. While exploring the surface of Mars, a group of scientists is caught in a violent storm. Melissa (Jessica Chastain), Rick (Michael Pena), Beth (Kata Mara), Chris (Sebastian Stan) and Alex (Aksel Hennie) are able to escape on their shuttle, but Mark (Matt Damon) is hit with debris, presumed dead and left behind. But he’s alive, abandoned, unable to communicate with NASA, and low on oxygen,

food, and other supplies. He also knows it will be four years before the next mission to Mars reaches him. To his credit, Mark doesn’t panic. He uses his background as a botanist to grow food on a planet on which nothing grows naturally, and even creates his own water. His intelligence, ingenuity and inspiration are a joy to watch. — D.H. MAZE RUNNER: THE SCORCH TRIALS Rated PG-13 The sci-fi action thriller costars Dylan O’Brien, Kaya Scodelario and Thomas Brodie-Sangster. Patricia Clarkson and Barry Pepper, who were both in The Green Mile, are in this futuristic goodversus-evil film directed by Wes Bell.

PAN Rated PG The versatile Hugh Jackman is back, this time as the dread pirate Blackbeard. Garrett Hedlund is Hook, Levi Miller is the stubborn manchild Peter, Rooney Mara is Tiger Lily and Adeel Akhtar is Sam Smiegel, aka Smee.

PAWN SACRIFICE Rated PG-13 Chess is a game of patient, intelligent study, without the trappings – and dangers – of more violent sports. Usually. In the ’60s, though, chess was an instrument of pre-détente maneuverings for superpowers daring each other to drop the bomb. American Bobby Fischer (Tobey Maguire) was a genius at the game, but his genius came at a price. Liev Schreiber plays chess master Boris Spassky, the Soviet Fischer challenged to a game. Costars

Peter Sarsgaard and Lily Rabe.

SLEEPING WITH OTHER PEOPLE Rated R Jake (Jason Sudeikis) is a nice guy who’s also quite the rake. Lainey (Alison Brie) is a not-so-nice gal who cheats. They begin a platonic relationship. Costars Adam Brody, Amanda Peet, Adam Scott.

STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON ***@ Rated R Rap group N.W.A. went from success to strife to heartbreak. “Our art is a reflection of our reality,” Ice Cube (O’Shea Jackson) says; gangs, drugs, cops, and danger are inspiration. — D.H. THE WALK **** Rated PG “It’s impossible, but I’ll do it,” says Philippe Petit (Joseph Gordon-Levitt, mastering a French accent) about walking a high wire between the twin towers of the World Trade Center Towers in the summer of 1974, four years after the first tenants moved into the brand-new buildings. There’s 140 feet between them. Putting aside the audacity/insanity needed to walk on a thin high wire way up high, the sheer mechanics of setting it all up are mind-boggling. Costars Charlotte Le Bon, Ben Kingsley.

WAR ROOM Rated PG The heartwarming (eventually) drama about a family in crisis costars Priscilla T. Shirer, T.C. Stallings and Karen Abercrombie.

LATITUDE 360 MOVIES Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation and Inside Out run at CineGrille, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555.

PICTURES IN THE PARK Florida Blue presents free movies every Friday in October. The Goonies starts at 7 p.m. Oct. 16 in Hemming Park, 135 W. Monroe St., Downtown, 556-7275, hemmingpark.org.

IMAX THEATER Kids’ Halloween movies, The Walk, Galapagos 3D and Humpback Whales screen at World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, St. Johns, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING

BIG STONE GAP Rated PG-13 There’s rom-com in them thar hills. Small-town shenanigans include Ashley Judd, Whoopi Goldberg, Jane Krakowski, Chris Sarandon, Jenna Elfman, Jasmine Guy, Patrick Wilson and Anthony LaPaglia.

BLACK MASS ***@ Rated R Johnny Depp is real-life Boston Mafioso James “Whitey” Bulger, who was No. 2 on the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted list, in this well-played crime drama. It’s the story of how the FBI allowed Jimmy to commit drug trafficking, racketeering and murder in exchange for information about Boston’s vast criminal underground. Costars Joel Edgerton, Kevin Bacon, Adam Scott, David Harbour, Rory Cochrane, W. Early Brown and Jesse Plemons. Dakota Johnson is Whitey’s squeeze Lindsey. — Dan Hudak BRIDGE OF SPIES Rated PG-13 The CIA enlists the help of an American lawyer (Tom Hanks) in the negotiations to free a pilot who’s being held by the Soviets during the Cold War. Costars Mark Rylance, Brian Hutchison and that smarmy Alan Alda.

CRIMSON PEAK Not Rated Horror drama involving a writer, a weird house, old friends, new friends and scary stuff. Costars Mia Wasikowska, Jessica Chastain, Tom Hiddleston.

EVEREST ***@ Rated PG-13 Amateur climbers follow experienced guides in an effective action/adventure pic based on a true story. Rob Hall (Jason Clarke) is a guide who puts safety first; he’d better – his wife Jan (Keira Knightley) is pregnant back home in New Zealand. Beck (Josh Brolin), Doug (John Hawkes) and Jon (Michael Kelly) are travellers in this May 1996 expedition, while Helen (Emily Watson) and Guy (Sam Worthington) keep an eye on them from afar. Rob’s group joins old friend/nemesis Scott (Jake Gyllenhaal) – safety in numbers – but even the bestlaid plans can go awry. — D.H. FREEHELD ***@ Rated PG-13 Reviewed in this issue.

GOOSEBUMPS Rated PG Jack Black returns in this timely spooky-but-not-too-spooky romp based on R.L. Stine’s books. Costars Dylan Minnette, Odeya Rush and Ryan Lee. Stine himself sneaks in for a bit, too.

Tom Hanks stars in Stephen Spielberg’s new Cold War-era drama-thriller, Bridge of Spies.

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ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE

A HISTORICAL DANCE CONCERT DASOTA students perform European-based dance pieces from the Renaissance through early 20th century, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 16 & 17 at Douglas Anderson School of the Arts, 2445 San Diego Rd., San Marco, 346-5620, duvalschools.org/anderson.

ALVIN & THE CHIPMUNKS LIVE ON STAGE In the familygeared musical production, Alvin and pals try to save the site of the Woodstock festival; 4 & 7 p.m. Oct. 17 at Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 442-2929, $26.50-$110, artistseriesjax.org.

SEMINAR Theresa Rebeck’s dark comedy, of aspiring writers seeking wisdom from a fearful novelist, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 15, 16 & 17, and 2 p.m. Oct. 18 at Jacksonville University’s Swisher Theater, 2800 University Blvd. N., 256-7386, $10; $5 seniors, military, students, arts.ju.edu.

ANYTHING GOES Alhambra Theatre & Dining’s musical comedy on an ocean liner, with words and music of Cole Porter, Oct. 21-Nov. 22. 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $38-$59 plus tax, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Top 10 finalists of season 12 strut their stuff, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 21 at T-U Center’s Moran Theater, Downtown, 633-6110, $38.50-$68.50, ticketmaster.com.

CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ

CELLO & PIANO Cellist Andrew Smith and pianist Alfredo Oyaguez perform 7:30 p.m. Oct. 14 at UNF’s Recital Hall, 620-2878, unf. edu/coas/music/calendar.aspx. They again perform 11 a.m. & 7:30 p.m. Oct. 16 at Friday Musicale, 645 Oak St., Riverside, 355-7584, fridaymusicale.com.

JACKSONVILLE UNIVERSITY WIND ENSEMBLE 7:30 p.m. Oct. 15 at JU’s Terry Concert Hall, 256-7386, arts.ju.edu.

HIGH SCHOOL CHORAL INVITATIONAL Area choruses perform 7:30 p.m. Oct. 16 at JU’s Terry Concert Hall, 256-7386, arts.ju.edu.

NEW CENTURY JAZZ QUARTET Acclaimed jazz combo plays 8 p.m. Oct. 16 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, $14-$24, ritzjacksonville.com.

THE MUSIC OF NAT KING COLE Denzal Sinclaire and Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra perform Cole’s timeless music, 11 a.m. & 8 p.m. Oct. 16 and 8 p.m. Oct. 17 at T-U Center’s Jacoby Hall, 354-5547, $19-$74, jaxsymphony.org.

HIPHARP FOR THE ARTS The Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra Beach’s fundraiser features virtuoso, Grammy-nominated “hip harpist” Deborah Henson-Conant in A Concert Benefiting Music Therapy Outreach, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 17 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $45-$110; proceeds benefit music therapy outreach programs; pvconcerthall.com.

FIESTA FLAMENCO Fermin Spanish Guitar Trio and flamenco dancers, 8 p.m. Oct. 17 at Colonial Quarter, 33 St. George St., St. Augustine, 342-2857, $10, ferminspanishguitar.com.

FLORIDA CHAMBER MUSIC PROJECT The string ensemble performs works by Mozart and Mendelssohn, 3 p.m. Oct. 18 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 209-0399, $23, flchambermusic.org.

FIRST COAST WIND SYMPHONY 60-member community orchestra presents Organ and Pipes, with organist Timothy Tuller and soloist Paul Weikle, 5 p.m. Oct. 18 at St. John’s Cathedral, 256 E. Church St., Downtown, 256-7386, 356-5507, jaxcathedral.org.

BOATHOUSE CELLO CHOIR Taking its name in honor of its first rehearsal hall, a yacht club boathouse, the eight-piece cello ensemble performs 6:30 p.m. Oct. 19 at Clay County Headquarters Library, 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 278-3722, claycountygov.com.

CLASSICAL AT DASoTA Students’ Fall Orchestra Concert, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 20, Douglas Anderson School of the Arts, 346-5620, duvalschools.org/anderson.

CLASSICAL AT UNF UNF Wind Symphony and Concert Band Fall Concert, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 21 at UNF’s Lazzara Performance Hall, 620-2878, unf.edu/coas/music/calendar.aspx.

COMEDY

BO BURNHAM Viral video star, 8 p.m. Oct. 16, Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, $39.50, floridatheatre.com.

JOHN CLEESE and ERIC IDLE Monty Python founding members and comedy legends Cleese and Idle bring their “Together Again at Last … For the Very First Time” tour, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 18, Florida Theatre, 355-2787, $59.50-$99.50, floridatheatre.com.

TONY TONE, CHRIS THOMAS, DEXTER TUCKER Comedy Cats, 8 p.m. Oct. 16 & 17, The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., 646-4277, $15-$30, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

AIDA RODRIGUEZ Rodriguez, Last Comic Standing finalist, 8 p.m.

Oct. 15 & 16 and 8 & 10 p.m. Oct. 17 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $15-$18, comedyzone.com.

ALEX U 7:30 & 10 p.m. Oct. 16 & 17, Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555, $15, latitude360.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

MUSICAL THEATRE JAZZ CLASS Jocelyn Geronimo holds youth-geared classes, 4-5 p.m. every Wed., Oct. 14-Dec. 9 at Players by the Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $200, gary@playersbythesea.org.

ARTS IN THE PARK SUBMISSIONS The 13th annual limited, juried event held at Atlantic Beach’s Johansen Park, accepts artists submissions; details, application at coab.us.

ADULT ACTING & IMPROV CLASSES Gary Baker teaches fundamentals, 5-6:30 p.m. (acting) and 6:30-8 p.m. (improv) every Sun., Oct. 18-Nov. 15 at Players by the Sea, 249-0289, $100/class; $150 for both, gary@playersbythesea.org.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries of Atlantic and Neptune beaches open 5-9 p.m. Oct. 15 from Sailfish Drive to Neptune Beach and Town Center, 753-9594, nbaw.org.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local & regional art, food artists, farmers’ row, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. – Buddy Sherwood School of Dance, Thriller Dancers, RAMiCon Kids Costume Contest, Decoy, RAMiCon Adult, Four Families 10:30 a.m. Oct. 17 – under Fuller

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FSCJ WRITERS’ FESTIVAL features more than 25 published writers, including Laura Lee Smith (pictured), in workshops and panel discussions on various aspects of writing and publishing, at FSCJ South Campus Oct. 15 and 16.

Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

MUSEUMS

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. Naval Station Mayport: Guardian of the Southern Frontier Exhibit, through Feb. 12.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Women, Art and Social Change: The Newcomb Pottery Enterprise, 20th-century ceramic pieces, through Jan. 2. Reflections: Artful Perspectives on the St. Johns River, through Oct. 18. British Watercolors through Nov. 29.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992. Drew Edward Hunter’s Spectrum II, through October.

Baseball: Origins and Early History, through December.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com.

Avery Lawrence: Live in Jacksonville, through Nov. 22. Smoke and Mirrors: Sculpture & The Imaginary, illusion-inspired 3D and installation works by sculptors Chul Hyun Ahn, James Clar, Patrick Jacobs, Ken Matsubara, Daniel Rozin, and Kathleen Vance, through Jan. 24. Unmasked: Art with a Heart in Healthcare, through Dec. 6. Project Atrium: Joelle Dietrick, through Oct. 25.

GALLERIES

ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828, coab.us. The Promise to Kate Foundation presents works of varying mediums by local and worldwide artists including Randy Rhodes, James O’Brien, Jennifer Graham, Annelies Dykgraaf, Ivan Shaping Stars, Professor Hinson, Lucie Sterbova, Jayda Willis, Liz Bryant, Karen Wheeler, through October.

ALEXANDER BREST GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 N. University Blvd., Arlington, 256-7371, ju.edu. Erin Colleen Johnson: Tell Me All About It, Jefferson Rall: No Hope To New Hope, and Margi Weir: Recent Works, through Nov. 4.

ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-2222, archwaygalleryandframing.com. Latitude 360 Degrees, by members of Jax Artist Guild, through mid-Nov. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, butterfieldgarage.com. Jan Miller’s gourd sculptures and Laura O’Neal’s paintings, through Nov. 3.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/news-events/crisp-ellert-art-museum.

Edgar Endress: Finding Baroque (terre florida), through Nov. 28.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928.

Symphony of Color – Paintings by Anthony Whiting, through Oct. 20.

HASKELL GALLERY JIA, 2400 Yankee Clipper Dr., 741-3546, jiaarts.org. Face Forward, by Adrian Pickett, Bill Yates, Chip Southworth, Christie Holechek, Daniel Wynn, David Engdahl, Doug Eng, Dustin Harewood, Enzo Torcoletti, Franklin Ratliff, Hiromi Moneyhun, Jason John, Jim Benedict, Jim Draper, John Bunker, Kevin Arthur, Larry Wilson, Laurie Hitzig, Louise Freshman Brown, Mary St. Germain, Mindy Hawkins, Overstreet Ducasse, Paul Ladnier, Robin Shepherd, Sara Pedigo, Shaun Thurston, Steve Williams, Susan Ober, Thony Aiuppy, Tony Wood, through Dec. 28.

HUBLEY GALLERY 804 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 4299769, hubleygallery.com. 3D art by Valerie Pothier-Forrester and new paintings by Natalia Andreeva, through October.

J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 4353200, jjohnsongallery.com. Bloom, nature-inspired works by Joan Bankemper, Carolyn Brady, Nathalia Edenmont, Mira Lehr, Joseph Raffael, and Robert Zakanitch, through Nov. 5.

LUFRANO INTERCULTURAL GALLERY 1 UNF Drive, Student Union Bldg. 58 E., Ste. 2401, Southside, 620-2475, unf.edu/ gallery. Lida, Paintings by Franklin Matthews, through Dec. 11.

MONYA ROWE GALLERY 4 Rohde Ave., St. Augustine, 217-0637, monyarowegallery.com. Out of Place, works by Larissa Bates, Natasha Bowdoin, Vera Iliatova, Giordanne Salley, and Dasha Shiskin, through Dec. 20.

PLUM GALLERY 10 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069, plumartgallery.com. Works by Sara Pedigo, James Quine, Mary Williamson, Mary Lou Gibson, through October.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 553-6361, southlightgallery.com. Emerging Artists and UNF Student Exhibition, through October. space:eight 228 W. King St., St. Augustine, 829-2838, spaceeight. com. Extended Playbook, works of Atlanta artists George Long, Jessica Caldas, Mario Schambon, William Downs, Adrian Barzaga, Mike Stasny, Erin Michelle Vaiskauckas, through Dec. 3.

UNF GALLERY OF ART Founders Hall, 620-2534, unf.edu/gallery.

Northeast Florida Sculptors Competitive Exhibition, through Oct. 16.

X.NIHILO GALLERY 956 N. Liberty St., Springfield, galleryxnihlo@gmail.com. Other Criteria, by Kelly Long and Mark Creegan, through Oct. 30.

EVENTS

SOUTHERN WOMEN’S SHOW The four-day fest, featuring shopping, fashion shows, celebrity appearances, food sampling, and “pampering,” is held Oct. 15-18 at Prime Osborn Convention Center, 1000 W. Water St., Downtown, 630-4000, $12; $6 ages 6-12; for schedule and tickets, go to southernshows.com.

FSCJ WRITER’S FESTIVAL A two-day literary festival, with more than 25 published writers in workshops and panel discussions on various aspects of writing and publishing, Oct. 15 and 16 at South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., 646-2111; fscj.edu/writersfest.

BLOOD DRIVE FREEBIES The Blood Alliance gives the first 20 donors one free ticket good for admission to Southern Women’s Show at Osborn Convention Center on Oct. 17, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. in Osborn parking lot. Look for bloodmobile by main entrance.

Donors get a Halloween “Got Blood” T-shirt. Appointments at igiveblood.com, 888-998-2243.

PFLAG MEETING Randy Lessen and GSA students discuss “The Gay Straight Alliances in Duval County High Schools,” 7 p.m. Oct. 15 at Christ Church of Peace, 1240 S. McDuff Ave., Westside.

Bring food items for JASMYN and donations for Necessities for Living; 737-3329, pflagjax.org.

WORLD ARTS FILM FESTIVAL Third annual Festival, with 100plus short films, panels, workshops, industry guests, art exhibits, receptions, awards, Oct. 15-17 at Main Library’s Conference Center, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, $10-$25; worldartsfilmfestival.org.

ARCHAEOLOGY DAY International Archaeology Day is celebrated 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Oct. 17, with displays, demonstrations, crafts, and a discussion of Digging into the Business of Archaeology by Brent Handley, Beaches Museum & History Park, 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org.

PLANT CLINIC St. Johns County Master Gardener answers lawn and garden questions, 10 a.m.-noon Oct. 17, Bartram Trail Branch Library, 60 Davis Pond Rd., 827-6960, sjcpls.org.

ST. AUGUSTINE DOO WOP DANCE Doo wop and classic oldies dance, with three DJs from Al’s Doo Wop Club, 7-11 p.m. Oct. 17 at St. Augustine’s VFW Post 2391, 6184 U.S. 1 S., $7, 451-0852.

JACKSONVILLE ARMADA vs. FC EDMONTON Local football faves Jacksonville Armada take on Edmonton FC, 7:30 p.m. Oct. 17 at Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, tickets start at $14, 633-6100, ticketmaster.com.

YOGA MASTER AT UNITY PLAZA Yoga master Amrit Desai holds a seminar on healing secrets of yoga, 9 a.m.-noon Oct. 18 at Unity Plaza Community Center, 220 Riverside Ave., Ste. 107; $48 suggested donation; 352-685-3001, admissions@ amrityoga.org.

SERTOMA CLUB OKTOBERFEST St. Augustine Sertoma Club holds its inaugural Oktoberfest, with traditional German food, German and domestic beers, desserts, a biergarten tent stage with live music by Be Easy and Chillula, food from local restaurants, arts & crafts, bouncehouse, face-painting, 11 a.m.-8 p.m. at Francis Field, W. Castillo Drive, $5; free ages 10 and under; proceeds benefit Farm to Family, dedicated to feeding St. Johns County’s poor, and other local charities; sertomastaugustine.org., farmtofamilyflorida.org.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS VS. HOUSTON TEXANS Hometown NFLers of the Black, Gold & Teal take on the Houston Texans (Deep Steel Blue, Battle Red & Liberty White) 1 p.m. Oct. 18 at EverBank Field, Downtown, $42-$470, 633-6100, ticketmaster.com.

EIGHTH ANNUAL WORLD ZOMBIE DAY Put on your best living dead attire for a zombie food walk drive, with Carnival of the Dead with a midway of zombie games and prizes, costume contests, a brain-eating contest, official photographers, entertainment, food trucks, vendors, and a blood-refreshing station, 1-6 p.m. (zombie walk 4 p.m.)

Oct. 18 at Hemming Park, across from City Hall, 117 W. Duval St., Downtown; bring non-perishable food items, clothing or toys to be donated to Hubbard House, jaxzombiewalk.com, hubbardhouse.org.

FIRST COAST FREETHOUGHT SOCIETY Joque H. Soskis, retired UNF criminal justice faculty member, former police officer and administrator, and retired member of The Florida Bar, discusses Policing in America: It’s Worse Than You Think. (Far Worse!), 6:30 p.m. Oct. 19 at Buckman Bridge Unitarian Church, 8447 Manresa Ave., Orange Park, 419-8826, firstcoastfreethoughtsociety.org.

AMELIA RIVER CRUISES Held every Fri. and Sat., with live music – Yancy Clegg Oct. 16, Dan Voll Oct. 17 – from Amelia River Cruises, 1 N. Front St., Fernandina Beach, 261-9972; for fees and details, go to ameliarivercruises.com.

AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS/ALATEEN When you don’t know where to turn because someone drinks too much. Al-Anon and Alateen can help families and friends of alcoholics. Daily meetings throughout Northeast Florida. Call 904-350-0600 or go to jaxafg.org.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS If you think you have a drug problem, Narcotics Anonymous might be able to help. Daily meetings in Northeast Florida; go to serenitycoastna.org or firstcoastna.org.

NICOTINE ANONYMOUS This support group for smokers wanting to kick the habit and live smoke-free is held at 5:30 p.m. every Mon. at Trout River Club, 9745 Lem Turner Rd., Northside, nicotine-anonymous.org.

DEPRESSION/BIPOLAR SUPPORT The local chapter of the nonprofit Depression Bipolar Support Alliance meets 6-7:30 p.m. every Tue. at Baptist Hospital Pavilion, fifth floor, Rm. 3, 800 Prudential Dr., Southbank, dbsalliance.org.

DAILY EVENTS AT HEMMING PARK Free yoga, group fitness and live music, across from City Hall, 117 W. Duval St., Downtown; hemmingpark.org/hemming-park-events.

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A&E //ARTS

ERIC IDLE grants Folio Weekly an audience to preview his upcoming show with JOHN CLEESE WHILE THE BRITISH INVASION USUALLY describes the musical onslaught of The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who, The Kinks, et al, there was an equally influential combo known as the Fab Six. Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin were Monty Python, a band of comedic marauders consisting of five Brits and one Yank (Gilliam, who became a British citizen in 1968). Intellectual, anarchistic, surreal, and a willingness to act like complete buffoons, even in the everything-goes-vibe of the ’60s counterculture, Python shifted, and then obliterated, the paradigms of comedy.

Over the course of 45 episodes of the TV series Monty Python’s Flying Circus, five feature films, more than a dozen albums, and their successful live performances, Python won the hearts and possibly deranged minds of innumerable fans, influenced countless comedians, and laid the path for Saturday Night Live, The Simpsons, and South Park. Python’s influence is so pervasive in contemporary culture that the word “Pythonesque” became part of popular vernacular and was added to the Oxford English Dictionary as an expression usually used in describing the bizarre and ludicrousness of life.

As a further extension of the Pythons’ influence on language, a de facto sect walks among us who are prone to displaying their devotion by spontaneously quoting lines and reenacting 22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

A COMEDY IDLE scenes from various bits in the group’s history.

One could easily see that the corruption/ enlightenment of the Python legacy as both estimable and, quite possibly, terrifying.

After calling it quits in the early ’80s, the Pythons pursued their respective creative endeavors with equal success. Sadly, Graham Chapman passed away from cancer in 1989, on the eve of Monty Python’s 20th anniversary.

Last year, the five surviving Pythons reunited for 10 shows at London’s The O2 Arena. Now Eric Idle and John Cleese have joined forces for their tour “Together Again at Last … For the Very First Time,” which rolls into town at The Florida Theatre on Oct. 18.

When I was initially contacted by Cleese and Idle’s press person, I specifically asked to interview Idle. Why? Well, he’s my favorite Python. But sheer mawkishness aside, Idle

fascinates me for other reasons: his expertise during the Python era in gleefully caricaturing ridiculous talk show hosts and slithery entertainers; his propensity for toying with language (i.e., Monty Python’s skit, “Literary Football Discussion”) while creating a multitude of memorable lines and catchphrases (To wit: “Nudge! Nudge! Wink! Wink! Say no more, say no more!”). An impressive reading list on his website that surely reflects his study of English at Cambridge and calls siren-like to my inner word nerd. His late career homerun with the Tony Award-winning, wildly popular musical Monty Python’s Spamalot. And perhaps most important, two words: The Rutles.

Monty Python’s legacy has been thoroughly analyzed, anthologized, and canonized. Keeping that in mind, I chose to forgo much old Python territory, write a few questions, and speak by

phone with Idle at his home in Los Angeles.

What follows is our conversation — we spoke of the impetus for his tour with Cleese, hiring the vocal stylings of Stephen Hawking, and politically incorrect tweets.

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•

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Folio Weekly: You’re playing, I believe, seven shows in Florida and I gotta tell you, reggae bands don’t play that many gigs down here.

What compelled you to focus so much of the tour here in The Sunshine State?

Eric Idle: Well, just that I think: sunshine. It was actually John’s idea. [Laughs.] He said, “Would you like to tour Florida with me?” and I said, “Sure, that sounds like a good adventure.”

Most of the places I’d never been to, so I thought it was a wonderful idea and said, “Yes.”

A&E //ARTS Well, we’re a wonderful state but, as you’re probably well aware, we also have this surreal level of violence and people staggering around high on bath salts. Do you have any concerns for your physical well being while here?

Well, I think pretty much all of America is addicted to surreal amounts of violence.

[Laughs.] It’s certainly not unknown in L.A. I wonder if there’s an unsurreal level of violence. [Laughs.]

[Laughs.] A pleasant level of violence.

Yes. [Laughs.] You’re just better armed.

That’s the trouble. I think you’re as violent as everywhere else, but once you’re armed, you have a better chance to succeed.

So far, the only interview I’ve seen with you and Cleese regarding this upcoming tour has been on NPR and now you’ve graced our fine publication with an interview. When you were planning the tour, what compelled you to use the classic NPR/Folio Weekly dual-piston, press strategy?

The NPR thing came up when we were both in London when we were actually working on the show, wondering what we might do. John and I are hard to pin down. We’re like a PR person’s nightmare. [Laughs.] And they asked us if we wanted to do the show [All Things Considered with Robert Siegel] and everybody likes that, he’s good, he’s funny. And I think we managed to make him giggle a little. And now of course, here I am with Folio Weekly. The aptly named Shakespearean title: Folio Weekly. [Laughs.] I love its name. I love the title.

you get to our age, I think we’re allowed to be a little bit boring. [Laughs.]

I think that’s a given. [Laughs.] You’re given a pass.

Well, we’ll do our best. [Laughs.] I hope we won’t disappoint.

No, no, I’m sure you won’t. We’ll be starryeyed, full of love … and bath salts.

[Laughs.] Well, last year we did the most rehearsed thing … you know, and put on this huge musical in London with the 20 dancers and singers and 16,000 people. And so this is like the opposite and it’s kind of fun to do something that isn’t so structured or mapped out.

Will you be performing any of your older “classic hits” or is it all new material?

We will be doing things that people hopefully don’t know; I mean, so well. But things that we like and think are funny and have survived the test of time. It seems pointless to do all of the Python things they saw last year. You know what I mean? We need to keep ourselves interested, too! [Laughs.] I’ll be doing some songs and John will be doing some solo bits, there’s bits with film footage … it’ll be a cut-up show. It’s interesting to me; it’s not by any means “locked in.” We hit the stage and we’ll just see how it goes, really.

You know, in the book Monty Python Live! it seems that in the ’70s, the group toured like a kind of modest and-probably-more-erudite Led Zeppelin. You had these big crowds and all of the attendant excess of those days What was the ultimate impetus to do this tour?

— which you joke about in the book. Do Why now? you miss those earlier days of touring and Well, John’s been on the road for four years, performing like a rock band on the road? you know, doing his sort of endless “Alimony” Well, we had a lot of fun because they were tour. We did a show last year, about November laughing. There’s something about when you I think, when his autobiography came out play The Hollywood Bowl and everybody and I interviewed him in Glendale and I said, laughs. I just did that with Spamalot. We “What are we going to talk about?” and he did three nights for 18,000 people. I love said, “Well, let’s just go on, let’s just go on.” We entertaining people and giving people a good wound up talking for two hours and it was time. I miss being young; that’s the bit I miss fun and it was easy and it was relaxed and we the most. But I think were funny and interesting people can still be funny at times. [Laughs.] And I JOHN CLEESE and ERIC IDLE: at the immense ages think that gave John the “TOGETHER AGAIN AT LAST … we have now become. idea to do a combined tour FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME” 7:30 p.m. Oct. 18, The Florida Theatre, [Laughs.] The funny whereby there’s quite a bit Downtown, $59.50-$99.50, thing about humor is that of chat and then there’s also floridatheatre.com it’s very life-enhancing. sketches and songs and bits Now and again, I get to of film and everything. I go have lunch with Mel Brooks and I’m still think people like talk these days. That’s what I just thrilled to get to do that. You know what suspect; because there’s so little of it. It’s either I mean? three minutes on a late-night talk show, where they’re dashing on promoting whatever they’re Man, that is fantastic. You don’t have to doing … I love going to watch writers when reveal too much from the inner sanctum, but they’re interviewed by, usually their chums, what do you talk about? because that’s much more interesting. That Well, we talk about anything. But I like funny isn’t on television at all anymore. It’s all prepeople. They’re my favorite people and always rehearsed little anecdotes and funny bits. That’s why I used to enjoy doing Craig Ferguson, have been. Because they’re kind of brave. because Ferguson would never even bother And yet they’ll really nail something. It’s been to pre-interview me. We’d just go on. I like a pleasure and privilege to live a sort of life that feeling. I have a lot of friends here who where one is just doing that for a living. do improv, that do Whose Line Is It Anyway? and Whose Live Anyway? and I’ve been to see You said you missed being young, but now their shows a lot. And there’s something about that you’re an older, wizened man of comedy, something that isn’t structured or absurdly what do you find in your life that is absurd over-rehearsed that’s very attractive. So I or humorous? thought, “This sounds like fun” — because we’ll Well, I think humor is an attitude and a way see if we’re wrong. [Laughs.] I do like the idea of looking at things. I don’t think it changes; I that it’s slightly different every night. And the think it’s the way you look at the world. And audience brings it, too, depending on different the world doesn’t get any less funny as you get places. There’s a recognition that we’re all alive older. It actually gets funnier. [Laughs.] And at the same time. “Did that happen?” [Laughs.] it’s a defense mechanism. But today I happen Which I think is kind of reassuring. And when to have a play and a book both suddenly

OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

A&E //ARTS

A COMEDY IDLE going online. So I love this new technology where you can go, “Bang! It’s out!” You know what I mean? I think that’s really exciting.

And now people won’t wait for anything to be delivered, [laughs] they want it streamed directly at them. I like the whole era of that; the instant. And not hanging about. And it means there are fewer people in charge to say, “Oh, no, you can’t do that.” And that’s a very good thing in comedy.

Earlier, you mentioned authors being interviewed; I looked at your site and it was really nice to see your reading list. Looking at some of your characters in Monty Python, and a particular character on Rutland Weekend Television, they seem to really revel in language, wordplay, idioms, and these nonsensical dialects. What do you find so compelling about toying with words and even the sound of language?

Well, I think it’s fascinating. I think it’s the most extraordinary, unlikely thing that we can arrange 26 letters into describing and conveying to everybody on the planet anything we want to. I mean, I don’t have math, so I don’t understand a word they’re saying, but that’s another form of language where you can convey truths about science.

With language, it’s really fascinating and of course I did literature at Cambridge, so that’s the only thing I know about. And I love to read. But it is an extraordinary thing that we reduce things through words and words can convey so much to us, in putting them

FROM LEFT: Monty Python during the filming of And Now for Something Completely Different, 1971, with (l-r), Eric Idle, Graham Chapman, Michael Palin, John Cleese, Terry Jones, and Terry Gilliam; Filming their 1975 masterpiece, Monty Python and the Holy Grail; In 1978, Eric Idle and Neil Innes offered their brilliant parody of The Beatles with their group The Rutles, in the 1978 mockumentary, All You Need is Cash: (l-r) Innes, Ricky Fataar, Idle, and John Halsey. together and how to do that. But not only to convey things … they can make us laugh and play tricks on our brains and make us giggle.

We don’t always see something coming. So I find that language is the most significant thing of the ape. I think language and the ability to communicate with each other is the most important thing that we actually evolved. And then I think the ability to see ourselves as funny is also very highly evolved form of looking at yourself. It’s very, very good. Because if you’re not taking yourself seriously [laughs], you see you are funny, and at the same time it could be tragic to you but it’s funny to others … I think that’s very, very healthy. I think an interesting conversation that John and I’ve always had is that John is into consciousness and I’m interested in the cosmic, and physics, and the extraordinary universe we find ourselves in.

Why do you think you each pursue those fascinations?

I think he’s really interested more in what we mean by consciousness and how it comes to be; that we can think of ourselves having an identity. I think there are a lot of interesting areas. We arrive at the same place, but come from different directions. I think that was so true of Python, where everybody was bringing something different to the table, which seemed to have something in common.

In Michael Palin’s voluminous diaries …

Yes! [Laughs.]

[Laughs.] Well, it sounds like Python had the same professional and personal problems that plagued that era’s rock bands.

He seems like he’s fair in his account.

Well, it’s only Michael. It’s only his viewpoint. I mean, I don’t think life was that tedious. [Laughs.] I mean Michael, he never stops writing about himself every bloody day. He does a television show; it’s only him on camera. We’ll probably have a little go at him on the road. [Laughs.] This nice business has to stop.

You know, I didn’t really realize the extent of your own writing. You published the The Greedy Bastard Diary, which had some personal stories, but was more in the form of a travel diary. It seems like you could write a fantastic longer memoir.

Well, it became a sort of travelling memoir, which is a form I think I invented. And I did touch on a lot of things that one would normally do in an autobiography and I’ve been assiduously turning down large amounts of money from publishers, especially recently since everybody’s doing it all the time. You know, I’m not interested in myself that much. I’m not driven to write about myself in that way. Those things are always y written for moneyy anyway y y because MERRY MELODIES: Ever the Renaissance man, Idle penned mos of the better-known songs for Monty Python and co-wrote the tunes for his Tony Awardwinning musical, Spamalot.

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A&E //ARTS “You’re just better ARMED. That’s the trouble. I think you’re as violent as everywhere else but once you’re armed, you have a better chance to SUCCEED.”

they’re always offered an enormous amount of money by a publisher. But then you’re stuck for a year and a half promoting it, going around the world reading bits of it to people. [Laughs.]

So I hope they won’t catch me. [Laughs.]

he called me up and said, “Yes. Absolutely.”

[Laughs.] I love that. And Stephen came to our last show at The O2 as well. He loves his comedy and he was actually there when we started at Cambridge. Doing his research.

Out of all the Monty Python music, your songs are surely the most well-known. And like many others, I was as much affected by your work with Neil Innes and The Rutles as I was by Python.

With The Rutles, I said, “Neil, I want 12 Beatles songs.” And that’s what he has a very good ear for. Neil’s a tremendous parodist. I think some of his songs are as good as The Beatles.

I wanted to ask you about what I think is … not a threat to, but maybe a development in, satire. To me, it seems like the best satire doesn’t pull any punches and is inherently impolite. And recently, comedians like Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, and even John Cleese have commented on how political correctness has in some ways negatively affected comedy.

Do you think, as far as the realm of comedy, that the PC pendulum has swung too far, where it censors comedians?

I don’t know if I can actually address that with any kind of authority. You know, it was always odd to me that political correctness was the one thing that people saved from communism. It’s a communist expression.

You know, politically correct for incorrect thinking. Well, to my mind, there’s no such thing as incorrect thinking; there’s only thinking. [Laughs.] You can be wrong on questions of fact, but you can’t be thinking incorrectly. In the last 10 years, all of America’s news has been delivered by comedians and I think that’s tremendously fascinating. Now we’ve just come to the end of the Stewart era and Colbert, too. And people were getting all their news from those two and Bill Maher. I think that’s because people no longer trust the corporate people who deliver news to them — and quite rightly. But it is true that people do to try to stop a certain amount of ideas, but on the other hand, I do think it’s important that we’re mindful that sometimes the things we say can be very cutting and hurtful to people if you don’t notice the context in which you say it. So I think it’s got positive and negative images. I don’t think it stops anybody being funny, but it might stop people being callous and cruel in areas that are perhaps a little unthinking. But I don’t go out there doing much comedy. For me, I tend to say politically incorrect things on my Twitter and that’s about it. [Laughs.]

Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

Absolutely. And the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band were just genius.

Oh, yes. The Bonzos were with us from really early on when we first did the kids’ TV show [Do Not Adjust Your Set] in 1967 or ’68. The Bonzos were the group on the show. And I think they had a large effect on us because they were so surreal and they weren’t directly funny, they were weirdly funny. And I think that sort of influenced our writing a bit when we got to do Python. I think it became more weird and less the Cambridge-structured-three-minutesketch; which we also incorporated, since it was easier to see where they come from.

As far as music, I found it interesting that you collaborated with Stephen Hawking when he covered “The Galaxy Song.” How did that come about?

[Laughs.] Well, I have a friend called Professor Brian Cox, who does all of these television shows in England about the universe. He was complaining about “The Galaxy Song” and how the numbers weren’t right and I pointed out to him that the numbers were right when I wrote the song in 1981. The ones that changed were not me, but the scientists. They changed their minds about the size and shape. So anyway, I wrote him this joke, after I sang the song on stage, where he objects. And I had this great image of Stephen Hawking zipping along behind him in his wheelchair, running Brian over. And it made me laugh so hard. [Laughs.]

I called him up and I said, “Do you think Stephen would do this?” And he said, “I’ll call him up. I’ll email him.” Within five minutes,

OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

A&E // MUSIC

RAZOR

SHARP AND RIGHT ON POINT

E

arnest, genuine … not exactly the buzzwords you hear the kids throwing around when waxing admiringly on hiphop. Swordz is both those things — you can derive that from his work, his performance style and even through interaction with him. His music offers a good range, at times as anthemic as the catchiest T.I. songs, as visceral as 2Pac’s delivery and as refreshing as the kinds of acts being released on labels like Hiero Imperium.

Folio Weekly caught up with Swordz as he was leaving the studio, and he spoke about his views on making it big, finding inspiration through pain, and his high-energy performances.

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

SWORDZ cuts deep into the Duval hip-hop scene current records as well as some original releases. You can find it on soundcloud.com/ swordz and my website, swordzmusic.com.

Also, I’ve stumbled into acting through a close friend and video/film director I work with by the name of Adolfo Latorre. Through his company Mars3045, we released an indie film shot here in the city, titled Twisted, which got picked up by Maverick distribution as of Oct. 13 and will be released nationwide. Also working on new musical material.

Folio Weekly: A lot of your press touches on an artist on the precipice of breaking big, but then it doesn’t happen. Do you feel this is accurate and how would you define success?

Swordz: I could see people saying that. Seems like it’s been that way for a while. I’d agree to some degree. In terms of making it “big,” I’ve How did the genre Hood Rock come about? been on the radar industry-wise for some time.

When Hood Rock came about, I was in Not too keen on how current “big” labels do business with a company called HoodLife their business or handle artists these days and Records. The question came about one day I’ve been independent since I began, so my that if I were ever to mash-up with a rock main thing is to continue to make noise doing band, what would I call the music? Hood what I’m doing. Later on, if it makes sense Rock was born on the spot. to talk to a major, I’ll do that. As far as how I define success: Earlier What fueled the choice in my career, I would to perform live with have said a million-dollar SWORDZ with KING SIMBA, rock bands? contract with all the bells ND 20/20 (DARYL & LORD Around that same and whistles and all that NORTHSTAR), DJ DOUBLE A, time, ironically, I had a comes with it. Nowadays, SLABDABA the ROCCSTARR, manager named Squiggy. my perspective is a little DJ CHEF ROCC What’s happenin’, different. I’m more of an 9 p.m. Oct. 23, rain dogs., Riverside, $7 Squiggy! Squiggy introvert these days, so managed a lot of talented success would be me being rock acts as well. He was the one who asked able to make a living being as creative as I’d the question about rock mashups. He thought like for as long as I’d like, without being seen as my performance style and the energy of rock much as possible … aside from performing. venues were quite similar. We tested the waters and here we are.

How does Duval influence your work and what are your thoughts on the state of the local hip-hop scene?

How would you describe your sound and what I was born and raised here. I tend to draw are your biggest influences when you write? from my personal experiences musically and, I’d use the word aggressive. Things I go since I’ve been here my whole life, Duval through and how they’ve changed me end influences my work a great deal. The hip-hop up in songs often, which is actually very scene here I feel is growing, to say the least. therapeutic for me, so pain and suffering We’ve always had our own sounds and colors, would be two of my biggest inspirations. but the artists and consumers alike are very What is your favorite nickname for picky. We just like what we like. But present day, we, artists and consumers, seem to be Jacksonville? more open to accepting new things, so I feel Any time I reference the city, especially out of there’s more hope now than ever. town, I always say “the crib.” Lil old-school, but to me, it feels fitting.

There seems to have been a bit of a lull between 2010’s Solja Psychology and now.

What can an audience at a Jacksonville What have you been up to?

Swordz show expect?

Been up to a lot of things, actually. I dropped Smoke, yelling, middle fingers, and broken a few bodies of work. Newest release is a equipment. mixtape titled The TakeOver Vol 2. It’s a Brenton Crozier mixture of exclusive remixes of some popular mail@folioweekly.com

OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

Alt-folk great SUZANNE VEGA performs at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall on Oct. 16.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Oct. 14 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247.

Music by the Sea: THE HACKERS 7 p.m.; food by Sunset Grille 6 p.m. Oct. 14, St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org.

DENNY BLUE 6 p.m. Oct. 14, Paula’s Beachside Grill, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463.

RYAN CRARY 6 p.m. Oct. 14 & 21, Pusser’s Bar & Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766.

NOAH GUNDERSEN, FIELD REPORT 7 p.m. Oct. 14, Colonial Quarter, 33 St. George St., St. Augustine, 342-2857, $15.

THE WINERY DOGS 8 p.m. Oct. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $27 advance; $30 day of.

BOYTOY, VANESSA SILBERMAN, SNAKEHOLE, MEMPHIBIANS 8 p.m. Oct. 14, Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St, Downtown, $6.

NELSON CUBA, WEISSHUND 8 p.m. Oct. 14, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $5 advance; $10 day of.

CHARLIE SHUCK, ALEX DOUGHERTY, CHRISTIAN THUE 9:30 p.m. Oct. 14, Shantytown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., Springfield, 798-8222.

Magnolia Fest: TEDESCHI TRUCKS BAND, AVETT BROTHERS, DEL McCOURY BAND, STEEP CANYON RANGERS, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, The LEE BOYS, IVEY WEST BAND, BAND of HEATHENS, PARKER URBAN BAND, The CONGRESS, The CORBITT BROTHERS, The MOTET, NIKKI TALLEY, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, BONNIE BLUE, MOJO GURUS, APPLEBUTTER EXPRESS, GRITS & SOUL, BERRY OAKLEY’S SKYLAB, CEDELL DAVIS, HABANERO HONEYS, COL. BRUCE HAMPTON, LOST BAYOU RAMBLERS, QUARTERMOON, The LONDON SOULS, ROOSEVELT COLLIER & the TRAVELIN’

McCOURYS, BACK FROM the BRINK, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES, FLAGSHIP ROMANCE, WHETHERMAN, JACKSON VEGAS, JERRY JOSEPH & the JACKMORONS, SLOPPY JOE, QUEBEC SISTERS, REBIRTH BRASS BAND, JEFF AUSTIN BAND, JIM LAUDERDALE, NEW ORLEANS SUSPECTS, DONNA the BUFFALO, BIG COSMO, KELLER WILLIAMS’ GRATEFUL GOSPEL, LAKE STREET DRIVE Oct. 15-18, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park & Campground, 3076 95th Drive, Live Oak, 800-224-5656, $50-$200, musicliveshere.com.

TAKE COVER 8 p.m. Oct. 15, Ragtime Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877.

RICHARD SMITH 6 p.m. Oct. 15, Pusser’s Bar & Grille.

STRAY FROM the PATH, COMEBACK KID, BEING as an OCEAN, MAJOR LEAGUE, DEEZ NUTS 7 p.m. Oct. 15, Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 353-6067, $15 advance; $18 at the door.

PARTICLE, DR. FAMEUS 7:30 p.m. Oct. 15, 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $15.

BEN PRESTAGE 7:30 p.m. Oct. 15 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10.

OCTOBER SKY, DYNE SIDE 8 p.m. Oct. 15, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

The BAND BE EASY 8 p.m. Oct. 15, Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555.

DENNY BLUE 7 p.m. Oct. 16, Spy Global Cuisine & Lounge, 21 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 819-5637.

FLAT LAND, MOYAMOYA, LE ORCHID 8 p.m. Oct. 16, 1904 Music Hall, $8 advance; $10 day of.

CIVIL YOUTH, UNIVERSAL GREEN, NORTHE 8 p.m. Oct. 16, Burro Bar. SUZANNE VEGA 8 p.m. Oct. 16, P.V. Concert Hall, $29.50-$49.50.

TREVOR HALL, WILL EVANS, CHRISTINA HOLMES 8 p.m.

Oct. 16, Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $15 advance; $20 day of.

THE SENSES, THE PHILTERS, CHASING JONAH 8 p.m. Oct. 16, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

JOEY MORELAND BAND 8 p.m. Oct. 16, Pusser’s Bar & Grille.

AC DEATHSTRIKE, CHRISTIAN THUE, CHARLIE SHUCK, JAVELEN & the DRAGON 9 p.m. Oct. 16, rain dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969.

AREA 51 9:30 p.m. Oct. 16, Whiskey Jax, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 634-7208.

AUSTIN PARK 8 p.m. Oct. 16 & 17, Ragtime Tavern.

FULL THROTTLE 10 p.m. Oct. 16, The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611.

KIM RETEGUIZ & BLACK CAT BONES 10 p.m. Oct. 16 & 17, Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680.

DEF LEPPARD, FOREIGNER, NIGHT RANGER 7 p.m. Oct. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 630-3900, $35-$125.

Cassette Store Day Festival: HUNGRY HOLOGRAMS, GENRE BAPTISTE, RICHARD GUMBY, JONES COLLEGE RADIO, BURNT HAIR, VIRGIN FLOWER, SHYLIGHTS, DARK DAUGHTER, JAY PEELE 7 p.m. Oct. 17, rain dogs.

LITTLE BIG TOWN, DRAKE WHITE & the BIG FIRE 7:30 p.m. Oct. 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, $25-$45.

The GLORIOUS REBELLION 8 p.m. Oct. 17, Burro Bar. RICKOLUS & the BUZZ BIN, PSYCHIC DRIVER, KINGS & POETS, CONNOR HICKEY 8 p.m. Oct. 17, Jack Rabbits, $10 advance; $13 day of.

SNORE, TWIZTED PSYCHO 8 p.m. Oct. 17, Freebird Live, $8 advance; $10 day of.

MATT POND PA 7:30 p.m. Oct. 17, 1904 Music Hall, $13.

MAKING STRIDES BENEFIT CONCERT 10 p.m. Oct. 17, The Roadhouse.

MATT POND PA, COMMUNITY CENTER, FORMER TRAITS, EMMA & the OLD KINGS, FAZE WAVE, KING of CARROT FLOWERS 7:30 p.m. Oct. 17, 1904 Music Hall, $7 advance; $10 day of.

E.G. KNIGHT 7 p.m. Oct. 19 at Beaches Museum & History Park, 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, Mojo Kitchen food 6 p.m., beachesmuseum.org, $20 advance; $25 day of.

XAEMORA, SATURNINE, NEVER BAPTIZED 8 p.m. Oct. 19, Across the Street, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill, 683-4182.

The BASTARD SUNS, DANKA 8 p.m. Oct. 20, Jack Rabbits, $10 advance; $13 day of.

THEORY of a DEADMAN, POP EVIL, ARANDA 6 p.m. Oct. 21, Mavericks Live, The Landing, Downtown, 356-1110, $27.

JEREMY PORTER & the TUCOS, FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL 8 p.m. Oct. 21, Burro Bar. JOEY BADA$$, BISHOP NEHRU, DENZEL CURRY, NYCK CAUTION 8 p.m. Oct. 21, Freebird Live, $22.

OLD SALT UNION, 5 CENT PSYCHIATRIST, The SNACKS 8 p.m. Oct. 21, Jack Rabbits, $8 advance; $10 day of.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

The CHARLIE DANIELS BAND Oct. 22, The Florida Theatre JASON ALDEAN, COLE SWINDELL, TYLER FARR, DEE JAY SILVER Oct. 22, Veterans Memorial Arena Gnar Stars: FREE WEED, UNKLE FUNKLE, COLLEEN GREEN Oct. 22, Shanghai Nobby’s TAB BENOIT Oct. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MARCIA BALL & her BAND, AMY SPEACE Oct. 23, PVC Hall

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

SWORDZ, KING SIMBA, DJ DOUBLE & 20/20, SLABDABA THE ROCCSTARR, DJ CHEF ROCC Oct. 23, rain dogs.

BUDDY GUY, SHEMEKIA COPELAND Oct. 23, Florida Theatre KATT WILLIAMS Oct. 24, Veterans Memorial Arena CAVERN, SHADOW HUNTER, ALMITRA, CREEP CITY, ENCOUNTERS Oct. 24, Burro Bar THE TOASTERS, GENERAL TSO’S FURY, ELLAMENO BEAT Oct. 25, Jack Rabbits BARB WIRE DOLLS Oct. 25, Burro Bar BIG FREEDIA, HIBOU, BOYFRIEND Oct. 26, Jack Rabbits MARK KNOPFLER Oct. 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JONATHAN RICHMAN Oct. 27, Jack Rabbits DESAPARECIDOS Oct. 27, Underbelly CROCODILES, DARK TUNNELS, MEMPHIBIANS Oct. 27, Burro Bar KEPI GHOULI, MEAN JEANS, LIFEFORMS (as Nirvana) Oct. 29, rain dogs TWO COW GARAGE, The MUTTS Oct. 29, Jack Rabbits STUBBILY MUG, KID DEAD, STRIFE, CRY HAVOC, LETHAL SKRIPTUREZ, GEEXELLA Oct. 29, The Birdhouse The WINTER PASSING, HAVE HOLD, TEEN DEATH Oct. 29, Burro Bar The BAND PERRY, COREY SMITH, SISTER HAZEL, JON LANGSTON Oct. 30, Metropolitan Park CHARLIE & the FOXTROTS Oct. 30, Burro Bar Suwannee Hulaween: STRING CHEESE INCIDENT, PRETTY LIGHTS, PRIMUS, CHANCE the RAPPER Oct. 30-Nov. 1, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park LEE BAINES III & the GLORY FIRES, PUJOL, ELECTRIC WATER Oct. 31, Burro Bar SOUL ASYLUM, MEAT PUPPETS Oct. 31, Freebird Live The UNDERACHIEVERS, POUYA, KIRK KNIGHT, BODEGA BAMZ Nov. 1, Underbelly STRANGE WILDS Nov. 1, Rain Dogs BOZ SCAGGS Nov. 4, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts LITTLE RIVER BAND Nov. 5, The Florida Theatre LEFTOVER SALMON Nov. 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall AMERICA’S GOT TALENT LIVE Nov. 6, The Florida Theatre MARY J. BLIGE Nov. 6, Veterans Memorial Arena PRONG, APPALACHIAN DEATH TRAP Nov. 6, Jack Rabbits The BROTHERS COMATOSE Nov. 7, Jack Rabbits ALL HANDS on DECK Nov. 8, The Florida Theatre REVEREND PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND Nov. 8, Jack Rabbits BEACH CREEPS, NOTEL, THE MOLD Nov. 9, Burro Bar SLOW MAGIC Nov. 11, The Original Café Eleven TEXAS in JULY, REFLECTIONS, TO the WIND, INVENT, ANIMATE Nov. 11, Underbelly KNUCKLE PUCK, SEAWAY, SORORITY NOISE, HEAD NORTH Nov. 11, 1904 Music Hall ADRIAN LEGG, DAVID LINDLEY Nov. 12, P.Vedra Concert Hall CHASE BRYANT Nov. 12, Mavericks Live at the Landing BLENDED BREW Nov. 12, Jack Rabbits AMERICA Nov. 13, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts Piuspalooza: TELEPATHIC LINES, ALLIGATOR, QUEEN BEEF, The RESONANTS, BROWN PALACE, SCAVUZZOS Nov. 13, Shanghai Nobby’s JAKE SHIMABUKURO Nov. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GABRIEL IGLESIAS Nov. 13, The Florida Theatre KRISTIN CHENOWITH Nov. 14, T-U Center CANDLEBOX Nov. 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STRAIGHT NO CHASER Nov. 17, The Florida Theatre The DIRTY DOZEN BRASS BAND, NEW BREED BRASS BAND Nov. 21, Ritz Theatre & Museum SWAMP RADIO EARLY THANKS Nov. 21, St. Aug. Amphitheatre THE SWORD Nov. 21, Freebird Live This is Not a Test Tour: TOBYMAC, BRITT NICOLE, COLTON DIXON, HOLLYN Nov. 22, Veterans Memorial Arena SO.ILLAQUISTS of SOUND, BLUEPRINT, DUMBTRON, E-TURN, GRAMMAR TREE, GRAYSKUL Nov. 27, 1904 Music Hall SCOTT BRADLEE’S Postmodern Jukebox Nov. 28, Florida Theatre RONNIE MILSAP Nov. 29, The Florida Theatre DAVE KOZ CHRISTMAS TOUR Dec. 1, The Florida Theatre MAC MILLER, EARTHGANG, MICHAEL CHRISTMAS, REMEMBER MUSIC Dec. 2, The Florida Theatre LUCERO Dec. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRIAN WILSON, AL JARDINE Dec. 5, Florida Theatre NICHOLAS PAYTON Dec. 5, Ritz Theatre & Museum Big Ticket: TWENTY ONE PILOTS, OF MONSTERS & MEN, WALK the MOON, The NEIGHBOURHOOD, GLASS ANIMALS, ANDREW McMAHON, MUTEMATH, PVRIS, ROBERT DeLONG, COLEMAN HELL, BORNS, BOOTS on BOOTS Dec. 6, Metropolitan Park KANSAS Dec. 6, The Florida Theatre LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III, MELISSA FERRICK Dec. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Dec. 11, Veterans Mem Arena KEVIN GRIFFIN Dec. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRIAN REGAN Dec. 13, The Florida Theatre RISING APPALACHIA Dec. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BOWZER’S Rock ’N’ Roll Holiday Party: The TOKENS, FREDDY BOOM BOOM CANNON Dec. 17, The Florida Theatre MATISYAHU Dec. 18 & 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MICHAEL McDONALD Dec. 19, Thrasher-Horne Center The TEN TENORS Dec. 22, The Florida Theatre CHRIS DUARTE Dec. 22, Mudville Music Room DONNA the BUFFALO Dec. 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SOJA Jan. 1, The Florida Theatre JOHN SEBASTIAN Jan. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STEVE FORBERT TRIO Jan. 9, Mudville Music Room THE OLATE DOGS Jan. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YO YO MA Jan. 14, Amelia Island Chamber Music Festival TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE Jan. 15, PVC Hall The TEMPTATIONS, The FOUR TOPS Jan. 21, Florida Theatre JESCO WHITE, SNAKE BLOOD REMEDY, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE Jan. 23, Jack Rabbits

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC

ANA POPOVIC Jan. 28, PVConcert Hall JOHNNY MATHIS Jan. 31, Florida Theatre ree COLIN HAY Jan. 31, PVedra Concert Hall alll 2CELLOS Feb. 2, Florida Theatre YANNI Feb. 3, T-U Center Southern Soul Assembly: JJ GREY, ANDERS OSBORNE, MARC BROUSSARD, D, LUTHER DICKINSON Feb. 4, Florida Theatre ALAN PARSONS PROJECT Greatest Hits

Singer-songwriter CHRISTIAN THUE (pictured) performs with AC DEATHSTRIKE, CHARLIE SHUCK, and JAVELEN & the DRAGON at rain dogs. Oct. 16 in Riverside.

Tour, Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra

Feb. 10, Florida Theatre ROBERT RANDOLPH & the FAMILY BAND Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PATTY GRIFFIN, SARA WATKINS, ANAIS MITCHELL Feb. 13, Florida Theatre The JAMES HUNTER SIX Feb. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall SUN RA ARKESTRA Feb. 20, Ritz Theatre ADAM TRENT Feb. 21, Florida Theatre GARY CLARK JR. Feb. 21, PVC Hall VINCE GILL, LYLE LOVETT Feb. 25, Florida Theatre IL VOLO March 3, The Florida Theatre BLACK VIOLIN March 3, Ritz Theatre ROGER McGUINN March 4, PVC Hall HERB ALPERT & LANI HALL March 4, Florida Theatre JASON ISBELL, SHOVELS & ROPE March 5, St. Aug Amp JANET JACKSON March 8, Veterans Memorial Arena GET the LED OUT March 17, Florida Theatre JOHNNY CLEGG & HIS BAND March 18, P.Vedra Concert Hall JOE SATRIANI March 19, The Florida Theatre THE FAB FOUR: THE ULTIMATE TRIBUTE March 19, PVC Hall CECILE McLORIN SALVANT March 31, Ritz Theatre NAJEE April 9, Ritz Theatre & Museum LET IT BE: Celebration of The Beatles April 10, Florida Theatre WANEE MUSIC FESTIVAL April 14, 15 & 16 THE BRONX WANDERERS April 16, Florida Theatre One Night of Queen: GARY MULLEN & the WORKS April 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall A NIGHT WITH JANIS JOPLIN April 21, The Florida Theatre ELLIS PAUL May 13, The Original Café Eleven

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA

GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith Thur. Yancy Clegg Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur.

Indie dance 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance at 9 p.m. every Fri. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns, 388-0200 Sam Sanders Duo Oct. 16. Live music every weekend

THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

CULHANE’S, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Cloud 9 8 p.m. Oct. 16. DJ Hal every Sat. Irish music every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 Kim Reteguiz & Black Cat Bones 10 p.m. Oct. 16 & 17. Darren Corlew Oct. 18 FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Trevor Hall, Will Evans, Christina Holmes 8 p.m. Oct. 16. Snore, Twizted Psycho Oct. 17. Joey Bada$$, Bishop Nehru, Denzel Curry, Nyck Caution 8 p.m. Oct. 21. Plain White Ts Oct. 22 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music Fri.

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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC

21. Richard Smith Oct. 15. Joe Moreland Band Oct. 16 TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Billy Bowers Oct. 14. Gary Starling Oct. 15. Jamie Noel Oct. 16. Dan Coady Oct. 17

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Xaemora, Saturnine, Never Baptized Oct. 19 MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood S., 388-7807 Delta Wolf, Jenni Reid, The Inverted, Arcadian Wild Oct. 16 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 AC Deathstrike, Christian Thue, Charlie Shuck, Javelen & the Dragon 9 p.m.

Oct. 16. Cassette Store Day Festival: Hungry Holograms, Genre Baptiste, Richard Gumby, Jones College Radio, Burnt Hair, Virgin Flower, Shylights, Dark Daughter, Jay Peele Oct. 17 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Decoy, Four Families Oct. 17

ST. AUGUSTINE

St. Louis-based Black Metal band XAEMORA spreads the gospel along with SATURNINE and NEVER BAPTIZED at Across the Street Oct. 19 in Riverside. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade Sun. Back From the Brink Mon. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 The Implications 10 p.m. Oct. 16. Tyler Denning Band 10 p.m. Oct. 17 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 Third St. N., 241-5600 Steppin Stones Oct. 15. Jameyal Oct. 16 MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer Thur.

NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Joe Moorhead Oct. 18. Live music most weekends RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Vinnie Keleman Oct. 14. Take Cover, Mark Parisi Oct. 15. Austin Park Oct. 16 & 17 WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 247-4508 Live music 7 p.m. Oct. 15, 9 p.m. Oct. 16 WORLD OF BEER, 311 N. Third St., 372-9698 Anton LaPlume 9 p.m. Oct. 17. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

DJ Vinn every Thur. DJ Dr. Doom 10 p.m. Fri. DJ Shotgun Sat. MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Theory of a Deadman, Pop Evil, Aranda 6 p.m. Oct. 21. Joe Buck, DJ Justin Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 Stray from the Path, Comeback Kid, Being As an Ocean, Major League, Deez Nuts Oct. 15

DOWNTOWN

DAVE’S MUSIC BAR & GRILL, 9965 San Jose, 575-4935 Milltown Road Oct. 17 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine, 880-3040 NMBR11, Yeshiva, Bernard Bulhack Oct. 14. Open jam 7 p.m. every Mon.

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Particle, Dr. Fameus Oct. 15. Flat Land, Moyamoya, Le Orchid Oct. 16. Matt Pond PA, Community Center, Former Traits, Emma & the Old Kings, Faze Wave, King of Carrot Flowers 8 p.m. Oct. 17 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. Boytoy, Vanessa Silberman, Snakehole, Memphibians 8 p.m. Oct. 14. Civil Youth, Universal Green, Northe Oct. 16. The Glorious Rebellion Oct. 17 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack every Wed. DJ Brandon every Thur. DJs spin dance music every Fri. DJ NickFresh Sat. DJ Randall 9 p.m. Mon. DJ Hollywood Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade Oct. 14 & 21. Chuck Nash Oct. 16. Ace Winn Oct. 17 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 353-1188 Rick Arcusa Band 8 p.m.

Oct. 16. Hard 2 Handle 8 p.m.Oct. 17. Groove Coalition Oct. 18 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay, 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis Wed.

SHUT UP AND LISTEN

FANS OF INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC KNOW A FEW things: 1) Good – really good – instrumental music, is difficult to find. 2) Even the best musicians can write crappy instrumentals. 3) Many of those instrumentalists allow their egos to take hold and they end up blowing all their writing and playing chops in the first minute-and-a-half of the first tune.

The ones who do it well take time and deeply consider what they’re composing and how it all fits together. On the Northeast Florida scene, there are several instrumental groups, a few of which are super-tight, compositionally sound and really interesting to listen to. The rest fall into either the “meandering, no direction” or the “look how fast I can play” camps. The worst of them (no names mentioned here) fall into both.

We can be thankful that instrumental sextet Tambor rises above all that sophomoric junk; they’re set to release one hell of an album come November. The lineup – Ivan Skenes (guitar), Chris Jackson (guitar, vibes), Eric Riehm (sax, Rhodes), Evan Peterson (bass, percussion), Sean Hendrix (vibes, percussion) and Josh Wessolowski (drums) – is stellar, some of the best players in the area. It should be noted that I occasionally play in bands with four members of Tambor. This is to say that I hold them to a high standard, having become very familiar with what they are capable of, both as musicians and composers. So there will be no favoritism here. In fact, if this album sucked, I’d be more than happy to tell you about it, because they’d deserve it.

But it doesn’t. Yodel is truly a standout among local releases, and could easily hold its own on the national scene. Here are five reasons to buy this sucker.

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

FLEMING ISLAND

WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Live music Fri. & Sat. DJ Throwback Thur. Deck music Fri., Sat. & Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Skytrain Oct. 14. Live music most weekends

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CLUB RETRO, 1241 Blanding Blvd., 579-4731 ’70s & ’80s dance 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Capone every Wed. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael Tue.-Sat. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Full Throttle Oct. 16. Making Strides benefit concert, Cloud 9, Flag on Fire Oct. 17. Live music 10 p.m. Wed. DJ Big Mike 10 p.m. Thur.

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S Grill, 816 A1A, 280-7766 Ryan Crary Oct. 14, 17 &

This band has a way of composing pieces of music that, though highly complex at times, is very listenable. Unlike their influence Steve Reich, who employs repeated patterns that stretch out over many minutes (sometimes nearly a half-hour) and change almost indiscernibly over that time, Tambor moves things along. Reich is brilliant, but it takes patience to imbibe his music. Yes, there are Reichian, even Philip Glass-like progressions here, but they morph quickly and over recognizable fusionesque grooves. The result is a collection of digestible chunks of moody, angular, brainy pieces for people willing to actually listen to the music.

Track 1, “Cauliflower,” sets the perfect tone for the album, with a typical Tambor picked repeated guitar line in 6/8. Then another in 5. Then comes the break juxtaposing the 6 pattern against a 7/8 section.

The vibes and sax downplay the prog-rock feel, giving the song a very early Tortoise lilt. Make no mistake, this is not easy to execute. But it’s very easy to listen to, even if you don’t understand the math of it all.

Track 3, “Reich,” ironically the most Tortoise-y of the bunch, is bouncy and forward-moving. Hills and valleys of sound and mood, here, with lots to think about. Layers, funky breaks, time changes and then … lots of space. It’s what Tambor does well, placing seemingly cluttered-yet-organized ideas against big cymbal washes and even silence. It’s the opposite of bombast, but impactful nonetheless.

The instrumentation. Not just the instruments, but how they’re used. The approach, again, is compositional, and little is left to chance. There is intent here, and an ear for structure. Very little noodling, as it were. Some of the pieces work better than others, and the band can slip into sloppy on rare occasions. But on the whole, this is a super-tight ensemble that uses their instruments as a way to convey a fully developed musical idea. Pick one to listen to all the way through

CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Makua Rothman Oct. 15 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Bobby Blackmon & the B3 Blues Band Oct. 16. Ain’t Too Proud to Beg Oct. 17.

Vinny Jacobs Oct. 18 PAULA’S GRILL, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463 Denny Blue open mic jam 6-9 p.m. Oct. 14 & 21 SPY GLOBAL CUISINE & LOUNGE, 21 Hypolita St., 819-5637 Denny Blue 7 p.m. Oct. 16 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Spanky Oct. 16 & 17

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Nelson Cuba, Weisshund Oct. 14. October Sky, Dyne Side Oct. 15. The Senses, The Philters, Chasing Jonah Oct. 16. Rickolus & the Buzz Bin, Psychic Driver, Kings & Poets, Connor Hickey Oct. 17.

Bastard Suns, Danka Oct. 20 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Ben Prestage 7:30 p.m. Oct. 15. Sean McCarthy, Woody Mullis Oct. 22

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS, ARLINGTON

LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 Be Easy Oct. 15. Darrell Rae, DJ Fellin Oct. 16. DJ Dohan Oct. 17. Anton LaPlume Oct. 18 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999 Aaron Koerner Oct. 15. Wes Cobb Oct. 16. Kurt Lanham Oct. 17 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, 634-7208 Area 51 Oct. 16. 5 O’Clock Shadow Oct. 17. Melissa Smith Thur. Mojo Roux Blues Sun. Kassyli jam Wed. WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 DiCarlo Thompson Oct. 15. New Earth Army Oct. 17

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

SHANTYTOWN, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 Charlie Shuck, Alex Dougherty, Christian Thue 9:30 p.m. Oct. 14. Community Center Oct. 17. Live music most weekends THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Jenni Reid Oct. 17

THE KNIFE

THE KNIFE

– the vibes maybe, or bass line. Stay with it to the end, allowing the other instruments to fall back. The journey will open your ears. Then do it again. Follow one guitar or drums, and you’ll gain a better understanding why this music works. It’s not over-the-top shredding or even narcissistic hoopla. It’s smart in the best way.

And it moves.

Track 9, “Succulent.” Holy crap. Saved it for the end, and it’s the best one on the record. Funky, angular, melodic, layered, challenging and – dare it be said – danceable. Everything great about Tambor happens in this song. Everyone shines, as both ensemble players and soloists. Produced and mixed by Jackson in his home studio, the sound on this record is big but not overbearing. Even when everyone is playing together, when their lines are complex and overlapping, there seems to be space, room for everything. And everyone.

John E. Citrone mail@folioweekly.com ________________________________________ Tambor’s Yodel officially drops Nov. 20 at rain dogs.

Whether you visit Al’s Pizza in Ponte Vedra or at any of their seven locations, you’ll get the same great pizza our readers choose as one of the top three best pizza experiences in Northeast Florida. Photo by Dennis Ho

DINING DIRECTORY AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29south restaurant.com. F In historic downtown, Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. F Southwestern fare made-to-order fresh; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEACH DINER, 2006 S. Eighth St., 310-3750, beachdiner. com. Innovative breakfast items: Eggs on the Bayou, fishn-grits; French toast, riders, omelets. Lunch fare: salads, burgers, sandwiches, shrimp & crabmeat salad. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BEECH STREET BAR & GRILL, 801 Beech St., 572-1390, beechstreetbarandgrill.com. In a restored 1889 home, Chef Charles creates dishes using fresh, local ingredients.

Local seafood, handcut Florida steaks, housemade pasta, daily specials, small plates, street food. $$$-$$$$ FB D Tue.-Sat.; Brunch, D Sun. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo. com. F Family-owned spot in historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Fine dining, historic district.

Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469.

450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. 2015 BOJ winner.

SEE ORANGE PARK.

ELIZABETH POINTE LODGE, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. F Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackand dianescafe.com. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house.

Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian items. Dine in or on porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moon riverpizza.net. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Northernstyle pizzas, 20-plus toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in

Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. PABLO’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT GRILL & CANTINA, 12 N. Second St., 261-0049. Authentic Mexican cuisine made fresh and locally. Chicken, carnes, fajitas, burritos, tacos, daily specials. Awesome margaritas. And there’s a real Pablo there. $$$ FB K TO L D Daily THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. F The bakery, near historic district, has sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads, all made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PI INFINITE COMBINATIONS, 19 S. Third St., 432-8535, pi32034.wix.com/piinfinite. All bar service at New Yorkstyle pizza joint. Specialty pizzas, by pie or slice, topped with sliced truffle mushrooms, whole little neck clams, eggs or shrimp. Dine in or in courtyard, with fountain. $$ BW TO L D Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast. Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2015 BOJ winner.

Second-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront; handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air second floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310.

F 2015 BOJ winner. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S Wings & Grill, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S Giant Subs, 1301 Monument Rd., 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

THE STEAKHOUSE @ Gold Club, 320 Gen. Doolittle Dr., 645-5500, jacksonvillegoldclub.com. Lunch and dinner specials, free happy hour buffets Thur. & Fri. $$$ FB L D Daily

To get your restaurant listed here, just call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. fwbiteclub.com.

2015 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386.

Premium ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes and Nathan’s grilled hot dogs, served in a Florida-centric décor.

Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned and operated for 20-plus years, the American pub serves 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner.

40-plus years. Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps.

Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com. 2015 BOJ winner. French/ Southern bistro; locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. A variety of curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LARRY’S Giant Subs, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740.

8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI GRILLE, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned Thai place serves traditional fare, vegetarian, new Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Low-sodium, gluten-free, too. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. TEQUILA’S Mexican Restaurant, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 101, 363-1365, tequilasjacksonville.com. F New place has authentic Mexican fare, made daily with fresh ingredients. Vegetarian dishes; daily drink specials.

Nonstop happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers,

OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

DINING DIRECTORY

wines by the glass or bottle, champagne cocktails. Meatloaf sandwiches, pulled Peruvian chicken, homestyle vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO D Tue.-Sat. WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. New gastropub has craft beers, burgers, handhelds, tacos, whiskey. $$ FB L D Sat. & Sun.; D Daily.

BEACHES

(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 2490002, alspizza.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. New Yorkstyle, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. F 2015 BOJ winner. Subs made with fresh ingredients for more than 25 years. One word: Peruvian. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAKHOUSE, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884, espetosteakhouse.com. Just relocated, serving beef, pork, lamb, chicken, sausage; full menu, bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 F 2015 BOJ winner.

Latin American, Southwest tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100-plus tequilas. $ FB L D Daily LARRY’S Subs, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE O. PARK. LILLIE’S Coffee Bar, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922, lilliescoffeebar.com. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine inside or on patio, courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club.

2015 BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-theocean spot, 20-plus years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside, on patio. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636,

oceanfront place serves authentic fare – like paella. Drink specials. Dine in or outside. $$ FB L D Daily SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. New craft sandwich shop boasts Yankee-style steaks and hoagies, all made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli offers freshly made subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian dishes. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. THE CANDY APPLE CAFÉ & COCKTAILS, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717, thecandyapplecafe.com. Sandwiches, entrées, salads. $$ FB K L, Mon.; L D Tue.-Sun. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has been serving genuine Italian fare for 35-plus years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. The homemade salad dressing is a specialty. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com.

F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri. SWEET PETE’S, 400 N. Hogan St., 376-7161. F Allnatural sweet shop has candy made of all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey. $ TO Daily ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Wed.-Sat. $ FB L Mon.-Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Parkway, 541-0009. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Ctr. Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar.

Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S Wings, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F 2015

GRILL ME!

“CHEF” MARCUS FOLDY Uncle Maddio’s Pizza Joint, 8221 Southside Blvd., Ste. 1, Southside BIRTHPLACE: Stüttgart, Germany

YEARS IN THE BIZ: 19

FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Bowl of Pho, Chicago BEST CUISINE STYLE: Classic French or Old World Italian GO-TO INGREDIENTS: Garlic, shallots and enough butter to clog an artery.

IDEAL MEAL: Grilled cheese & meatloaf sandwich, fries made in duck fat, ice cold beer – preferrably something local.

WON’T CROSS MY LIPS: Canned anchovies – I’ll have fresh, though!

INSIDER’S SECRET: It’s all about the love.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING HERE: Sen’Derrick Marks, Josh Scobee CULINARY TREAT: McDonald’s fries and a Coke.

mojobbq.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta fried catfish, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300, nippersbeachgrille.com. The chef-driven Southern coastal cuisine has local fare and dishes with a Caribbean flavor, served in an island atmosphere on the ICW. Dine inside or on Tiki deck. $$ FB K L D Wed.-Sun.; D Mon. & Tue. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7637. Gastropub, 50-plus beers, gourmet hamburgers, ground in-house, hand-cut French fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME Tavern & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30-plus years, iconic seafood place has served blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. Specialty items: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., Neptune Beach, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com.

Beach-casual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. 2015 BOJ winner. 20-plus tap beers, TVs, sporty waitstaff. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily SURFING SOMBRERO, 222 First St. N., 834-9377. New

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. LARRY’S SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-ownedand-operated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS

AKEL’S DELI, 12926 Gran Bay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN.

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199.

F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-7087. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. FIRST COAST DELI & GRILL, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Traditional diner fare: oversized pancakes and bacon, sandwiches, salads and burgers. $ K TO B L Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., 674-2945.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods MArket & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods.

DINING DIRECTORY

Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT PIZZA & GRILL, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. Casual, familyfriendly eatery. Pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials, burgers, pasta, plus gluten-free-friendly items. $ FB K L D Daily

ORANGE PARK

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 6055 Youngerman Cir., 778-1101, dickswingsandgrill.com. 1803 East West Parkway, Fleming Island, 375-2559. 2015 BOJ winner. This NASCAR-themed restaurant serves 365 varieties of wings.

The menu also features half-pound burgers, ribs and salads. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts.

Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding, Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F All over Northeast Florida, Larry’s piles ’em high and serves ’em fast; 33+ years. Hot and cold subs, soups, salads. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snacshack.menu. F The new bakery and café offers bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies and snack treats. $$ K BW TO B, L & D Daily

PONTE VEDRA BEACH

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F 2015 BOJ winner.

SEE BEACHES.

DICK’S Wings & Grill, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswingsandgrill.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK.

LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies. com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for American tastes; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S Deli, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN.

AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., 388-8384. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. BLACK SHEEP RESTAURANT, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. New American with a Southern twist; locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 & 2, 855-1181. F 2015 BOJ winner. Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Local craft beer, espresso, coffee and wine bar. Rotating drafts, 75+ canned craft beers; sodas, tea. Rotating seasonal menu of waffles,

photo by Rebecca Gibson

Arlington café has a distinct, FAMILIAL VIBE

BITE-SIZED

A TABLE FOR TABOULEH GROWING UP IN JORDAN, SARI AND SOPHIE The great thing about this sampler dish is that Salameh had no idea that they would one day the various items blend well. I mixed and matched trade the Red Sea for the St. Johns River. A few kibbeh with hummus, and falafel with tabouleh, years after relocating to Jacksonville, however, trying different variations that all tasted splendid. the duo decided to open a business based on I’m a seasoned Tabouleh customer, albeit a their mutual love for the food of their homeland. boring one. After four years ordering the exact Salameh’s TABOULEH MEDITERRANEAN CAFÉ same entrée (Falafel Pita Wrap with hummus), I began as a tiny grocery store and has grown to decided it was time to risk another dish. I took a house some of the best authentic Mediterranean leap and ordered a Beef Shawarma Wrap (aren’t food in the region.

I adventurous?). The beef shawarma ($8.39), Sari may tell you that Sophie is the real swathed in a fresh pita, is topped with lettuce, brain behind Tabouleh. “All the recipes are in pickles, onions, and tomatoes. The meat was juicy her head,” he says. Sophie, who has a few other and the creamy tahini sauce was, fortunately, kept Jacksonville restaurants under her chef’s belt, at bay by the aluminum foil around the pita, which learned from the best: her mother, who is a chef also ensured the pickles stayed neatly tucked in the Mediterranean. “I believe inside. To accompany the wrap, that cooking comes from the I ordered the Mediterranean TABOULEH heart,” Sophie says, which is which has bursts of MEDITERRANEAN CAFÉ salad, why she doesn’t use exact parsley, mint, and lemon that 7645 Merrill Rd., Ste. 201, measurements, but instead makes each bite pop.

Arlington, 745-6900, tastes and seasons while she A meal without baklava is taboulehjax.com cooks. This makes stealing her like a day without the sun. Sari recipes quite difficult, though brought out the dessert with Sophie was nice enough to share some – not all Turkish coffee ($3.75) in a traditional stainless – of her falafel ingredients when I confessed my steel pot. The coffee had a hint of cardamom that homemade falafel always crumbles. Don’t worry, softened the sweetness of the honey and nut Sophie – your recipe is safe with me. pastry. Tabouleh’s baklava is crunchy and tasty.

Located in an Arlington strip mall on Merrill The only downside is how quickly it disappears.

Road, Tabouleh’s small interior is filled with weekly The reserved Salamehs don’t make a fuss about regulars who are there for vegan Wednesday, or much, and that’s what makes Tabouleh so reliable. the special home-cooked meals every Friday.

The food is fresh, consistently great, and doesn’t try On my most recent visit, I was undecided to be something it’s not. It’s easy to feel at home in about whether to order an appetizer of hummus the restaurant, and it’s even easier to come back for or falafel, so I ordered both in the Mediterranean more. And after four years of dining at Tabouleh, I Sampler ($11.99). The dish includes hummus, have fi nally reached fist-bumping status with Sari. falafel, grape leaves, kibbeh, tabouleh, tzatziki The perks of writing for Folio Weekly are infinite. sauce, and pita bread. It’s an excellent choice for Rebecca Gibson the diner who’s indecisive, yet hungry. The grape mail@folioweekly.com _______________________________________ leaves were warm and juicy and my first-ever experience with kibbeh (ground beef and spices Follow all of Rebecca’s dining adventures and more fried in bulgur wheat) was a pleasant one. at somewhereinthecityjax.com

BITE SIZED

OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

DINING DIRECTORY pastries, toasts, desserts to pair with specialty coffees, craft beers. $$ BW K B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com.

Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily.

DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro atmosphere in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger.

Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Wknd brunch. B, L D Tue.-Sun. EDGEWOOD BAKERY, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., Murray Hill, 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. For 68+ years, full-service bakery has served fresh from-scratch pastries, petit fours, pies, custom cakes. Espresso/pastry café has sandwiches, smoothies, soups. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2015 BOJ winner. 130-plus imported beers, 20 on tap. NYCstyle Reuben, sandwiches. Outside dining at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Juice bar; certified organic fruits, vegetables. 300-plus craft/import beers, 50 wines, produce, humanely raised meats, deli, raw items, vegan, vitamins. Wraps, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055.

F Casual spot; sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. One word: Reuben. $ TO B L Daily KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S., 634-7617 Locally-owned, family-run shop; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S Subs, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 779-1933.

F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, chicken, ribs. Sides: beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442.

F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire.com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas.

Happy hour Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, obrothersirishpub.com. F Traditional shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio dining. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PATTAYA Thai Grille, 1526 King, 503-4060. SEE BAYMEADOWS. rain dogs, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. 2015 BOJ winner.

Bar food. $ D SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2015 BOJ winner.

Healthy, light vegan fare made fresh daily with local, organic ingredients. Specials, served on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tue.-Sun. SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejacksonville.com. F Monster Roll, Jimmy Smith Roll; faves Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoor or patio. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. CARMELO’S Marketplace & Pizzeria, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. New York-style brick-oven-baked pizza, freshly baked sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats and cheeses, stromboli and garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 965 S.R. 16, 825-4540. 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. 2015 BOJ winner. Updated Southern fare of fresh ingredients. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay 25+ years. Varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323.

F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. ONE TWENTY THREE BURGER HOUSE, 123 King St., 687-2790. New spot from owners of Carmelo’s down the street. Premium burgers, made with beef sourced from renowned NYC butcher Schweid & Sons. Wood-fired pizzas, ice cream bar with Old World milkshakes. Outdoor dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. SEE BEACHES.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic Thai dishes include Pad Thai, a variety of curries, tempuras, vegetarian dishes,

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

seafood, stir-fry and daily specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean/French inspired cuisine; steak frites, oak-fired pizza, new raw bar of seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. EUROPEAN STREET Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 3989500. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily THE GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschetta, cheesecake. 60-plus wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S Bar & Grille, 3333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, specialty drinks, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. 2015 BOJ winner. New gastropub. Local and national craft beers, specialty cocktails, seasonal menu of fresh, locally sourced ingredients. Sunday brunch. $$ FB L D Daily MEZZE BAR & GRILL, 2016 Hendricks Ave., 683-0693, mezzejax.com. Classic cocktails, fresh basil martinis, 35 draft beers, local/craft brews, Mediterranean cuisine.

Hookah patio. Happy hour. $$ FB D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metro diner.com. F 2015 BOJ winner. The original upscale diner. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200.

F 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Ave., 399-8815, pizzapalacejax.com. F Family-owned; spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Outside dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Ave., 398-3005, taverna sanmarco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Craft beers, craft cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus.

Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. F SEE AMELIA ISLAND. DANCIN DRAGON, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. BOGO lunches, Asian fusion menu. $$ FB K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954.

2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888, thedimsumroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, beef tripe, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717.

2015 BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. 2015 BOJ winner. European-style dining influenced

by Italy, Spain and the Mediterranean. Small plates, entréesize portions, selections from charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Ste. 101, 619-9828. 2015 BOJ winner. SEE ORANGE PARK. HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 7649999. SEE ORANGE PARK.

To get your restaurant listed in our Dining Directory, call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW=Beer/Wine FB=Full Bar K=Kids’ Menu TO=Take Out B=Breakfast R=Brunch L=Lunch D=Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting.

To join, go to fwbiteclub.com.

2014 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE FOLIO

W E E K LY

FOLIO LIVING

PET

LOVERS’

GUIDE

DEAR DAVI

TAKE A BITE OUT OF CANCER BARK FOR LIFE

National Park Service Bark Ranger Day 9 a.m.-noon Oct. 17, 12713 Ft. Caroline Rd., Arlington, 629-3145, $20 admission, nps.gov/ timu/planyourvisit/upload/bark-for-life.pdf.

Proceeds benefit American Cancer Society ________________________________________

HEY, CANCER! YOU’VE BARKED UP THE wrong tree this time! My friends and I have been training hard and will be leashing up and walking a mile to find a cure. That’s right. On Oct. 17, we’re participating in Bark for Life and it’s an irresistible way for canines and their human companions to spend time together while supporting the fight against cancer.

Dogs improve lives and sometimes save them. Just being around us can make a bad day brighter! Our warm hearts and wet kisses bring comfort to people coping with illness.

Bark for Life adds a twist to the American Cancer Society’s traditional Relay for Life. It’s a canine event that raises funds for cancer research while raising awareness of the important role pets can play in cancer health, recovery, and therapy.

Event leader Annette Hartley has participated in Relay for Life for seven years, but as a dog lover, this event is dear to her heart. “I lost my dog, Cubby, to canine cancer. It was sudden and devastating and I wanted to do something to honor his memory, so I decided to bring Bark to Life to Jacksonville.”

Did you know that dogs get cancer at roughly the same rate as humans do? It’s true. One out of four dogs and one out of three humans are diagnosed with cancer every year. Scary, huh?

And many of the medications used to treat

canine cancer were developed from medicines created for human treatment.

The American Cancer Society lets the dogs out on Saturday, Oct. 17 at Fort Caroline National Memorial’s Visitor Center. More exciting is that it takes place on Bark Ranger Day, and the for 100 to sign up get … wait for it … cool Bark Ranger tags! Woof! Woof!

After the 9 a.m. kickoff, stick around for fun and games at the Pet Paradise booth or watch the High Flying Disc Dogs show off their mad skills. You can even strut your style in a doggie fashion show. Still have energy to burn? The National Park Rangers will lead guided tours for curious dogs and attending humans. Pet Supermarket hosts a hydration station for thirsty pups and their people.

Whew! I’m ready for a nap just thinking about all the fun. See you there!

Davi mail@folioweekly.com _____________________________________ Davi is a brown dachshund with an appetite for adventure. He’s currently the “Out and About Scout” for Unleash Jacksonville Magazine and contributes a weekly column to Folio Weekly. He loves sweet potato treats, playing at the park with friends, and exploring the unknown.

BEASTS OF BURDEN: PET TIP OF THE WEEK FEED THE BEASTS Cooler temperatures mean your dog or cat may need to eat more in order to generate more body heat, according to the Pet Health Network. But be sure to check with your vet first before upping the cals – nobody wants a best friend who waddles.

U P C O M I N G DOGTOBERFEST First Coast No More Homeless Pets holds its annual Dogtoberfest during Beaches Oktoberfest, 6-9 p.m. Oct. 16, noon-10 p.m. Oct. 17 and noon-6 p.m. Oct. 18 at SeaWalk Pavilion, First Street North, Jax Beach. Activities include a costume contest, live music, Chug ’N’ Run 5K, food trucks, craft beers, and oodles of poodles (and of course all kinds of dogs and cats) available for adoption. fcnmhp.org.

BARK FOR LIFE The American Cancer Society 1-mile walk fundraiser, 9 a.m.-noon Oct. 17, at Fort Caroline Visitor Center, 12713 Ft. Caroline Rd., Arlington, honors the care-giving qualities of our canine best friends. Canine Companions represent unconditional love, joy, security, compassion.

All dogs, who have obtained the necessary vaccinations, may attend the event. Proceeds benefit the American Cancer Society’s programs and services. 629-3145.

DOGFEST WALK’N’ ROLL Canine Companions DogFest Walk ’n’ Roll is a community dog walk, held Oct. 24 at Riverside Arts

P E T

E V E N T S

Market, 715 Riverside Ave., that supports the mission of Canine Companions for Independence. Fundraisers who raise $100 get a DogFest bandana to sport at DogFest.

Together we can change lives, one dog at a time. dogfestjacksonville@cci.org.

ANIMAL RESCUE/ADOPTION There are groups organized for the rescue and eventual adoption of all kinds of animals – collies and shelties, corgis, westies, greyhounds, bassets, dachshunds, German Shepherds, Golden retrievers, cats, birds, poodles, akitas, big dogs, small dogs and toy breeds, rabbits, huskies, mastiffs, old dogs, the much-maligned pit bulls, shih tzus, reptiles – the folks involved in these groups are rabid … oops, not rabid rabid … very enthusiastic about the well-being of their particular breed or genus of animal, and most all animals in general. One website that’s a starting point is jaxanimals. com. Others to go to include jaxhumanesociety. org, nassauhumanesociety.com, starsofamelia.org, clayhumane.org, petrescue.org, sjcfl.us/animalcontrol/ petcenter.aspx and staugustinehumanesociety.org.

OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

TOLSTOY, WET WATER, BIG BANG, BILL MURRAY & THE HOLY GRAIL ARIES (March 21-April 19): Here’s actor Bill Murray’s advice relationship advice: “If you have someone you think is The One, don’t just say, ‘OK, let’s pick a date. Let’s get married.’ Take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And if, when you come back, you’re still in love with that person, get married at the airport.” In the weeks ahead, make similar moves to test and deepen your closest alliances. See what it’s like to get seriously and deliriously intimate.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Some firefighters use a wetter kind of water than we do. It has a small amount of biodegradable foam that makes it 10 times more effective in dousing blazes. With this as your cue, work on making your emotions “wetter” than usual. When your feelings arise, give them reverent attention. Marvel at how mysterious they are. Be grateful for how much life force they endow. Whether they’re relatively “negative” or “positive,” regard them as interesting revelations providing useful information and potential growth opportunities.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Many astronomers believe our universe began with the Big Bang. An inconceivably condensed speck of matter exploded, eventually expanding into thousands of billions of stars. It must have been a noisy event, right? Actually, no. Astronomers estimate the roar of the primal eruption was just 120 decibels – less than the volume of a live rock concert. I suspect you’re also on the verge of your Big Bang. It, too, will be rather quiet for the amount of energy it unleashes.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): For now, you’re excused from further work on impossible tasks grinding you down. Take a break from unsolvable riddles and cease exhaustive efforts. And if you’d like to distance yourself from farcical jokes the universe has been playing, do so.

To help enforce this transition, I authorize you to enjoy a time of feasting and frolicking, an antidote to baffling trials. And I declare you’ve been as successful at weathering these trials as possible, even if concrete proof isn’t yet entirely visible.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell is a BBC TV miniseries set in the early 19th century, the fictional story of a lone wizard, Mr. Norrell, who seeks to revive the art of occult magic to accomplish practical works, like helping the English navy in its war against the French navy. Norrell is pleased to find an apprentice, Jonathan Strange, and draws up a course of study for him. Norrell tells Strange the practice of magic is daunting, “but the study is a continual delight.” If you’re interested in a similar challenge, it’s available.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): One September afternoon, I was hiking along a familiar path in the woods. As I passed my favorite grandmother oak, I spied a thick, six-foot-long snake on the trail ahead. In hundreds of previous visits, I’d never seen a creature bigger than a mouse. The serpent’s tail was hidden in the brush, but its head looked more like a harmless gopher snake’s than a dangerous rattler’s. I took the opportunity to sing it three songs. It stayed for the duration, then slipped away after I finished. What a great omen! The next day, I made a tough but liberating decision to leave behind a good part of my life so as to focus more fully on a great part. With or without a snake sighting, I see a comparable breakthrough for you soon.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): People put buttons on clothing for seven millennia.

But for a long time, the small knobs and disks were just ornamental, meant to add beauty but not serve any function. That changed in the 13th century, when our ancestors finally got around to inventing buttonholes. Buttons could then serve an additional purpose, providing a convenient way to fasten garments. I foresee a comparable evolution in your life: an opening to dream further uses for elements previously one-dimensional. Brainstorm how to expand the value of familiar things.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Canadian author Margaret Atwood has finished a new manuscript, Scribbler Moon. But it won’t be published as a book until 2114. Until then, it’ll be kept secret, along with the texts of many other writers creating work for a “Future Library.”

The project’s director is conceptual artist Katie Paterson, who sees it as a response to George Orwell’s question, “How could you communicate with the future?” With this as your inspiration, try this: Compose five messages you’d you like to deliver to the person you’ll be in 2025.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You’d be wise to rediscover and revive your primal innocence. If you can figure out how to shed a few shreds of sophistication and a few slivers of excess dignity, you’ll literally boost your intelligence. Explore the kingdom of childhood, where you encounter stimuli to freshen and sweeten adulthood. Your upcoming schedule could include jumping in mud puddles, attending parties with imaginary friends, having uncivilized fun with wild toys, and drinking deeply from fountains of youth.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Every hour of your life, millions of new cells are born to replace old cells that are dying. That’s why many parts of your body are made of an entirely different collection of cells than they were years ago. If you’re 35, for example, you’ve replaced your skeleton three times. Congratulations! Your creativity is spectacular, as is your ability to transform yourself.

Usually these instinctual talents aren’t nearly as available in your efforts to recreate and transform your psyche, but they are now. In the months ahead, you have extraordinary power to revamp and rejuvenate everything about you, not just the physical.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): While still a young man, Virgo author Leo Tolstoy wrote “I have not met one man who is morally as good as I am.” He lived by a strict creed. “Eat moderately” was one of his “rules of life,” along with “Walk for an hour every day.” Others equally stern: “Go to bed no later than 10 o’clock,” “Only do one thing at a time,” and “Disallow flights of imagination unless necessary.” He did give himself wiggle room.

One guideline let him to sleep two hours during the day. Another specified he could visit a brothel twice a month. Be inspired by Tolstoy. Now’s a good time to revisit your rules of life. As you refine and recommit to fundamental disciplines, give yourself some slack.

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The weeks ahead will NOT be a good time to seek allies you don’t like very much or adventures that provide thrills you’ve felt a thousand times. But the near future will be a great time to go on a quest for your version of the Holy Grail, a magic carpet, key to the kingdom, or answer to the Sphinx’s riddle. Channel your yearning toward experiences that steep your heart with a sense of wonder. Don’t bother with anything that degrades, disappoints or desensitizes.

Rob Brezsny Free Will Astrology

OK, no more Ms. Nice Copy Editor. The word limit is FORTY (40).

Many of you send ISUs with waaaay more than that, and we cut ’em down.

If they lose vital info for you to connect with the target, so be it. It’s your own damn fault. Who’d hook up with a dork who can’t even count?

NOTHING MATTERS Self-hypnosis can’t stop me thinking from of you. No matter where I go and what I do, I still remember those beautiful eyes and the way my heart jumps when I see you. When: Oct. 6. Where: Luigi’s Pizza. #1565-1014 HOT MINI DRIVER You: Getting in red Mini near SunRay, hot white-rimmed glasses. Drake blasting from your car as you almost hit in crosswalk; gave me a thumbs-up. Me: Tall skater nerd, Donuts For Jesus shirt. You Let’s hang out. When: Sept. 29. Where: Five Points. #1564-1014 TALL, DARK, HANDSOME, PATRIOTS FAN Jags/Pats game. You: Pats shirt, jeans; with friends by bus watching game. Me: Short wavy auburn hair, Jags tank, cut-offs. Locked eyes as I went to sit. Heart skipped a beat at your handsomeness. Drinks on me, celebrate your win? :) When: Sept. 27. Where: Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach. #1563-0930 BOWL ME OVER Me: In the mood to be pinned. You: Lakers jersey. Bowling but said you’d rather play video games. Said you’re about to take a trip into Asia. Can we bowl balls together in Asia? When: Sept. 25. Where: Jax Lanes. #1564-0930 HUNGER GAMES Hungry and got hungrier when you entered. Told me you were going east to eat genuine Asian. Wanted to talk more but you had to go because your cousin, Jimmy, owed you a quarter. Let’s eat out together? When: Sept.

14. Where: China Wok. #1562-0923 NICE SMILE You: Brown hair, thin bearded guy, nice smile, bright eyes, blue “Good” sneaker T-shirt, with friends. Me: Short, thin brunette, blue/white tank, table across yours. Caught your eye, smiled. Like to know you better. Grab a drink? When: Sept. 11. Where: World of Beer Southside. #1561-0916 ECLIPSE RIVERSIDE 9/11 Super-cute brunette, ’80s night, black romper, white sandals. With group. Me: Solo; noticed matching outfi t friend telling you to ask me to dance. Wanted to approach. Group left. Second chance? I’d dance the night away with you. When: Sept.

11. Where: Eclipse Riverside. #1560-0916 FIRE BUG I saw you, late night on a Friday. You were on fire, so hot. Couldn’t tell if it was your flaming personality or that fl aming staff. Night dives, long chats, but why you didn’t you ever text me? When: Sept. 4.

Where: Beach. #1559-0916 YOU WALKED IN TATTOO SHOWIN’ ISU: Black leggings, open shirt, chest tat, soft voice, boots, hopeful eyes, smooth skin. You said black don’t crack. Love to have good time with you; you said futile; keep trying. Sorry about bad night. When: Sept. 4. Where: Parental Home Road. #1558-0916 BLUE ORBS You: Jean shorts, blonde hair, biggest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. I swear they glowed; when I fi rst saw you, lights in the place went dim. Can’t remember shirt color; just passing through, mesmerized by your eyes. When: Sept. 2. Where: Bold Bean Riverside. #1557-0909 YOU LEFT ME … SPEECHLESS The Prince Party. Your purple face stopped my heart. Wanna see your moves, your lights, every night. Let’s meet again: you, me and Prince. We can be silent together. When: Aug. 28. Where: 1904 Music Hall. #1556-0909

60-YEAR-OLD HIPPIE CHICK You still believe in those 60s values, modern technology, bikinis, no money worries, meditation, humanism, being groovy. Me: Bearded, beyond cool beach bum.

Us. Why wait? Let’s fall in love, live at beach. Anything’s possible. When: Aug. 20. Where: Mickler’s Landing. #1555-0909 NATURE’S OWN BY MY OWN! You: Tall, handsome Nature’s Own truck driver delivering bread to Burger King; most beautiful guy I’ve ever seen!

Me: Ordering drive-thru breakfast. You smiled at me, our eyes met. Let’s meet 6:15p Sept. 5 @ BK. When: Aug. 29. Where: BK, Blanding/Kingsley. #1554-0902 EVERY SUPERWOMAN NEEDS A SUPERMAN You: Tall, dark, collared shirt buttoned to top, shorts, Jordans, drink, surrounded by ratchets. Me: Average height, slim, slacks, blouse, hair in bun, lured by lightskin man (insider); chose one another instead. 1 year, counting. Love you! When: April 30, 2014. Where: Jim’s Place. #1553-0902 TALL, DRUNK AND HANDSOME You: Hanging out in a sleeveless Budweiser shirt. I like your shitty leg tattoos.

Me: Overgrown Mohawk and too many hooker shots.

Bake me some bread and get pretty with me. When: June. Where: Your lap, Birdies. #1552-0902 I FOUND YOUR RENTAL CAR CARD ISU sitting with your family; you’re so good-looking I needed to keep something to remember you by. I took your rental car company frequent renter card. I’ll probably add lots of miles to account. When: Aug. 12. Where: Mellow Mushroom. #1551-0902 CAN’T STAND THE HEAT! You made me turkey/cheese sandwich; could listen to Philly accent all night! You loved my dimple; looked as I walked away. Committed to show you how hot a kitchen can get with spicy Latina!

When: Aug. 12. Where: Hospital cafeteria. #1549-0902 BLIND DATE MOVIE ROMANCE Approaching slowly; tall, dark, handsome chocolate man! Me: Hello, nice to meet you. You: You, too. What’ll we see? Me: No idea; should be interesting! 10 years later, still together! ILY, baby! Your wife. When: 2005. Where: AMC Regency. #1548-0826 SUNNY & DARK You: The most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. Me: Yearning for you. When you walked by, it took my breath away and the thought still does. Next lifetime! When: Every day. Where: Riverside. #1547-0826 PEAR-SHAPED MAINTENANCE MAN, EQUIPMENT BELT ISU pushing a cart of light bulbs. Me: Big-boned Russian at hallway end. Your slight limp as you walk is sexy; halfcocked smiled made my knees weaken. Please come over and light up my night! When: Aug. 5. Where: Hospital hallway. #1546-0819 BRILLIANT, AMAZING BLOND WITH DOGGY You: Simply, you’re brilliant, attractive petite blond, glasses, Jackie O personality. Walking small dog. Me: International guy Brit/ South African; falling in love. You’re the mint in my Julep.

Attracted by your laugh, personality, Ms. Scarlett. When: Aug. 7. Where: Downtown Jax. #1545-0819 @ KELSEA BALLERINI CONCERT You: Petite, doe-eyed, STUNNING honey blonde. 5’3”, fashionably dressed. Me: Mature, 5’7”, bronze/beige Tommy Bahama shirt. Eyes locked nearly entire concert, four feet away. Pretty red truck, begs you slide in. Forever love songs to write.

When: July 11. Where: Jax Beach. #1544-0812

CLASSIFIEDS HELP WANTED

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BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

NUTRITION/FIT CLUB MODEL Contact: Mr. Davis 904-742-3160.

Nutrition/Fit Club model expands into Jacksonville! Call now to learn more about this multibillion $$$ business! (10-7-15)

FINANCIAL

ARE YOU IN BIG TROUBLE WITH THE IRS? Stop wage & bank levies, liens & audits, unfiled tax returns, payroll issues, & resolve tax debt FAST. Call 844-753-1317. (AAN CAN) (11-25-15)

VEHICLES WANTED

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or not! Top dollar paid. We come to you! Call for Instant Offer: 1-888-4203808. cash4car.com. (AAN CAN) (10-7-15) A-1 DONATE YOUR CAR FOR BREAST CANCER! Help United Breast Foundation education, prevention & support programs. FAST FREE PICKUP - 24 HR. RESPONSE - TAX DEDUCTION. 855-403-0215. (AAN CAN) (10/7/15)

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CAREER TRAINING

AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance, 800-725-1563. (AAN CAN) (10-21-15)

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STRUGGLING WITH DRUGS OR ALCOHOL? Addicted to PILLS? Talk to someone who cares. Call The Addiction Hope & Help Line for a free assessment. 800-978-6674. (10-14-15)

MISCELLANEOUS

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PERSONAL TRAINING

*PRIVATE, ONLINE AND/OR SMALL GROUP TRAINING *Boot Camp *Nutrition Plans *Posture Analysis *Online Coaching. Schedule today by calling 904-609-7258 or visit app.amstatz.com/p/business/careycore. (10-7-15)

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Together, we will gure it out.

OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

JONESINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; THE FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD by MATT JONES. Presented by

PROTECTING OUR FREEDOMS David

SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741

ACROSS

PONTE VEDRA

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A NORTH 280-1202

AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s HA-MA Time!â&#x20AC;?

1 Fizzling firecracker 4 Aquarium growth 8 Crumbly coffeehouse buy 13 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Cheerleaderâ&#x20AC;? singer 14 Fishing line holder 15 James Cameron blockbuster 16 Another name for #, before it became a â&#x20AC;&#x153;tagâ&#x20AC;?

18 Certain VWs 19 Event for someone who displays a â&#x20AC;&#x153;13.1â&#x20AC;? bumper sticker 21 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dr. Marioâ&#x20AC;? platform 22 Air France destination 23 Dix + dix 26 Writer Kesey 28 Pet advocacy org.

32 ___ En-lai 33 Crankcase container 35 The Sugarhill Gangâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s genre 36 Highbrow U.S. monthly thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2nd oldest continuous publication 39 William McKinleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s First Lady 40 Deletes 41 Baseballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Vizquel 42 Result of rolling in the dough, maybe?

44 The Chronicles of Narnia monogram 45 In an abundant way 46 1978 hit song with notable letters 48 Doctor Who airer 49 Adam Sandlerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

SOUTHSIDE

54 55 58 59 60 61 62 63

production company, named for two of his films Comic strip frames Nastygrams 3/4-time dance â&#x20AC;&#x153;True dat!â&#x20AC;?

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47 Dermatologistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s concern 48 Dog trainer challenge, maybe 49 Icy pellets 50 Faris of films 51 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Call me Ishmaelâ&#x20AC;? speaker 52 Judi Dench, e.g.

53 A Beautiful Mind mathematician 54 Some Brit. statesmen 56 Fitbitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s was in June 2015 57 Corrosive cleaner

38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 14-20, 2015

DEMOCRACY BLUES Randy Richardson, 42,

vying unopposed for the Riceville, Iowa, school board (having agreed to run because he has two kids in school) failed to get any votes at all â&#x20AC;&#x201D; as even he was too busy on election day (Sept.

8) to make it to the polls (nor were there any write-ins). To resolve the 0-0 result, the other board members simply appointed Richardson to the office. Riceville, near the Minnesota border, is a big-time farming community, and registered voters queried by The Des Moines Register said they had too much fieldwork to do that day.

MEDICAL MARVELS Researchers recently

Solution to Bill and/or Tedâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Excellent Adventure (10/7/15)

24 â&#x20AC;&#x153;If ___ nickel ...â&#x20AC;?

25 Ephron and Dunn, for two 26 Stadium display where youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll see couples smooching 27 â&#x20AC;&#x153;___ Worldâ&#x20AC;?

(Sesame Street segment) 29 Groom fastidiously 30 Word after ear or Erie 31 Copycatting 33 Iron source 34 Artistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rep.

37 Some may be good to set 38 Movie like Shaun of the Dead or Warm Bodies 43 Prepare for editing

DOWN

1 â&#x20AC;&#x153;I just realized I messed upâ&#x20AC;? outburst 2 Be Cool actress Thurman 3 Spoon companion, in a nursery rhyme 4 Band on a sleeve 5 Toronto Maple ___ (hockey team) 6 Hand sanitizer target 7 ___-Seltzer 8 Wife of Russian prime minister Dmitry Medvedev 9 â&#x20AC;&#x153;___ Clownâ&#x20AC;? (Everly Brothers song) 10 Palindromic name 11 Palindromic bread 12 Urgent care center alternatives 15 Barely open 17 End a call 20 2008 presidential candidate 23 Monitoring device in some 1990s TVs

(2 legit to solve.)

Zaitzeff â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bold, shameless leering is known in Seattleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s parks â&#x20AC;&#x201D; more so since he filed a civil complaint against the city in September challenging its anti-voyeurism law for placing a â&#x20AC;&#x153;chilling effectâ&#x20AC;? on his photography of immodestly dressed women in public. Though heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not been charged with a crime, he roams around short-skirted and swimsuit-clad â&#x20AC;&#x153;galsâ&#x20AC;? while often wearing only a thong himself, carrying a â&#x20AC;&#x153;Free Hugs and Kissesâ&#x20AC;? sign.

Zaitzeff â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s websites â&#x20AC;&#x153;extolâ&#x20AC;? public nudity, said the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. Zaitzeff â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s complaint â&#x20AC;&#x201D; that the law criminalizes photography of a personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;intimate areasâ&#x20AC;? (clothed or not) without explicit permission â&#x20AC;&#x201D; distresses him.

5 ( 1 ( : 5 6 7 8 6 $ < 6

found a small community (not named) in the Dominican Republic with an unusual incidence of adolescent boys having spent the first decade or so of their lives as girls because their penises and testes did not appear until puberty. A September BBC News item referred to the boys as â&#x20AC;&#x153;Guevedocesâ&#x20AC;? and credited the community for alerting researchers, who developed a drug to replace the culprit enzyme whose absence was causing the problem. The full shot of testosterone that shouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been delivered in the motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s womb was not arriving until puberty.

GET A JOB The serpentine queue extended

for blocks in September in Lucknow, India, after the state government of Uttar Pradesh announced 368 job openings (almost all menial) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; eventually resulting in about 2.3

million applications, 200,000 from people with advanced degrees, even though the $240/month positions required only a fifth-grade education, according to an Associated Press dispatch.

About 13 million young people enter Indiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s job market each year.

HURL THERAPY Thailandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Last Resort

Rehabâ&#x20AC;? at Wat Thamkrabok Temple about 100 miles north of Bangkok resembles a traditional drug-detox facility (work, relaxation, meditation) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; except for the vomiting. At the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Vomit Temple,â&#x20AC;? Buddhist priests mix a concoction of 120 nasty herbal ingredients, according to the templeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s methamphetamine addicts interviewed for a recent Australian TV documentary. Said one: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Vomiting is at 3 p.m. every day. Foreigners must vomit for the first five days. The vomiting is intense.â&#x20AC;?

SELFIES ARE FOR THE BIRDS People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals filed a federal lawsuit in California in September on behalf of an endangered crested black macaque that wandered up to an unattended camera on a tripod and clicked a selfie. The camera belonged to photographer David Slater, who claimed copyright to the photo even though â&#x20AC;&#x153;Naturoâ&#x20AC;? actually snapped it. The shot might be valuable to Naturo since itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s become viral on the Internet.

Though the photo was taken in Indonesia, Slaterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s publisher is based in California.

ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HIS OWN DAMN FAULT Jose Banks, 40,

filed a $10 million lawsuit in 2014 against the federal government because jailers at Chicagoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s high-rise Metropolitan Correctional Center failed to guard him closely enough in 2012, thus enabling him to think he could escape. He and a cellmate had rappelled 17 floors with bed sheets, but Banks was re-arrested a few days later. Still, he claimed the escape caused him great trauma, in addition to â&#x20AC;&#x153;humiliation and embarrassmentâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;damage to his reputation.â&#x20AC;?

In September, the U.S. Court of Appeals turned him down. Wrote the judges, â&#x20AC;&#x153;No one has a personal right to be better guarded.â&#x20AC;?

Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39