Folio Weekly 08/20/14 by Folio Weekly

FREE! I AUGUST 20-26, 2014 I folioweekly.com

NORTHEAST FLORIDA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1987

l l l l l l l

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

CONTENTS //

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 • VOLUME 28 • NUMBER 21

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING CHARLIE

28 MAIL FIGHTIN’ WORDS 2 MINUTES WITH NEWS

5 7 8 9

COVER STORY OUR PICKS MUSIC THE KNIFE

10 14 16 22

FILM ARTS BITE-SIZED I SAW U

7 23 28 34 36

ASTROLOGY CROSSWORD WEIRD BACKPAGE

37 37 38 39

COVER: Photo Illustration by Shan Stumpf PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor staylor@folioweekly.com / 904.260.9770 ext. 111

EDITORIAL

EDITOR • Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 INTERIM A&E EDITOR • Janet Harper jharper@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 WRITERS-AT-LARGE Susan Cooper Eastman seastman@folioweekly.com Derek Kinner dkinner@folioweekly.com CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, Daniel A. Brown, John E. Citrone, Julie Delegal, AG Gancarski, Nicholas Garnett, Claire Goforth, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Amanda Long, Heather Lovejoy, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Jeff Meyers, Kara Pound, Merl Reagle, Scott Renshaw, Carley Robinson, Chuck Shepherd, Melody Taylor and Abigail Wright

VIDEOGRAPHER • Doug Lewis

DESIGN

ART DIRECTOR • Shan Stumpf sstumpf@folioweekly.com / ext. 116 SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Dana Fasano dfasano@folioweekly.com / ext. 117 GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Allison Walsh awalsh@folioweekly.com / ext. 117 PHOTOGRAPHER • Dennis Ho dho@folioweekly.com / ext. 122 DESIGN INTERN •Taylor Doran

BUSINESS & ADMINISTRATION BUSINESS MANAGER • Cherish Kelly fpiadmin@folioweekly.com / ext. 119 VICE PRESIDENT • T. Farrar Martin fmartin@folioweekly.com

DISTRIBUTION

Bobby Pendexter / cosmicdistributions@gmail.com

ADVERTISING

PUBLISHER Sam Taylor staylor@folioweekly.com / ext. 111 SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGER CJ Allen callen@folioweekly.com / ext. 120 • Beaches, Ponte Vedra Beach, Amelia Island ACCOUNT MANAGERS Lee Ann Thornton lthornton@folioweekly.com ext. 127 • Mandarin, Orange Park ACCOUNT MANAGER / SPECIAL EVENTS MANAGER Ro Espinosa respinosa@folioweekly.com ext. 129 • Southside, Avondale, Arlington MOBILE APP ADVERTISING ACCOUNT MANAGER Kathrin Lancelle klancelle@folioweekly.com ext. 124 • Downtown, Riverside, Northside, San Marco MEDIA HOUSE ACCOUNT MANAGER Olivia Gentilini ogentilini@folioweekly.com ext. 125 • Intracoastal West, St. Augustine

Folio Weekly is published every Wednesday throughout Northeast Florida. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2014. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks. 27,000 press run. Audited weekly readership 105,315.

GET SOCIALIZED FOLIOWEEKLY.COM

FOLIO WEEKLY STORE folioweeklystore.com

BITE CLUB

facebook.com/folioweeklybiteclub

Download Layar and scan when you see the Layar symbol to discover interactive content.

This publication offers you great digital experiences using the Layar App.

thefolioweekly

@folioweekly

Mobile App

For the best in Live Music, Arts, Sports, Food and Nightlife, download the DOJAX Mobile App by texting “Folio” to 77948

9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 • Fax: 904.260.9773

4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

EDITOR’S NOTE With all the recent turmoil in the world — yet another U.S. military intervention in Iraq, the Ebola outbreak in Africa, the outrage and unrest in Ferguson, even the death of Robin Williams — I’d almost forgotten there was an election next week. In fact, I just realized that I forgot to transfer my voter registration to Duval County, so I’ll be sitting this one out. (I know, I know.) For better or worse, I won’t be missing much. Charlie Crist’s takeover of the Florida Democratic Party, just a couple years after he was elbowed out of a Florida Republican Party that, under his watch, was riven with corruption scandals (see Greer, Jim), is a fait accompli, his victory over actual Democrat Nan Rich all but assured. Crist has the money, the name recognition, the machine, the chameleon-like ability to change on a dime in service to his own self-interest. He also is a politician’s politician. As the Tampa Bay Times put it in a recent expansive profile: “[Crist] can walk into a room filled with mostly strangers, and when he leaves, even if it’s just an hour later, everybody feels as if they know him. Feels as if he knows them. Feels good. He makes politics look easy.” Charlie Crist has all of that. Rich has principles. She’s going to get crushed. Make of that what you will. It’s not that I have any particular affinity for Rich. As big an elephant-in-the-room as Crist is, her inability to raise money or gain any semblance of traction doesn’t bode well for her chances against Rick Scott, who, like Crist, has loads of money and a greased-up machine behind him. A better challenger would have been able to energize the base, to take advantage of Crist’s Republican past (remember when he called himself “Chain Gang Charlie”?), his effortless shape-shifting, his ceaseless political ambition, and the fact that, despite his effervescence, Florida voters aren’t sold on Charlie 2.0. (He is mired in a low-40s morass in polls, unable to break away from the equally disliked Scott.) The larger issue here is the profound weakness of the state Democratic Party’s bench. It’s no secret that earlier this year some party activists were openly begging U.S. Sen. Bill Nelson to jump in. He declined. So did Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer and former gubernatorial candidate Alex Sink. Beyond that, the party faithful (and their money) had nowhere else to go. Crist is saying all the right things — he’s now pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, promedical marijuana, pro-education spending — and in Scott he’s got an opponent as likable as a baby possum. This is also a crucially important election; not just for the usual reasons, but also because the winner, whomever he is, will appoint 15 of 37 members to the Florida Constitutional Revision Commission in 2017 (most of the other members will come from the almost-certainly conservative Legislature), a once-every-20-years exercise that will profoundly impact state governance far beyond one governor’s time in office. Given that, given all that’s riding on his victory, Crist should have no problem rallying the troops. But he is. And so we have a candidate whose ads insist on telling us he’s Not Rick Scott and not much else — which, for me anyway, hardly inspires enthusiasm. Jeffrey C. Billman twitter/jeffreybillman jbillman@folioweekly.com

MAIL

iT'S Time

To Come ouT And mAn your y ur yo

bATTle STATionS!

Photo by Walter Coker

In Defense of Angela Corey

I strongly disagree with you [News, “I’m Mad as Hell and I’m Not Going to Take It Anymore,” Derek Kinner, Aug. 6]. Ms. Corey has the right to hold back information and also has the right by law to charge anyone for those records. The State Attorney’s Office has the obligation to protect the privacy of the accused. I would hope if I have records at the State Attorney’s Office that they would do everything to protect my privacy. It also sounds like Ms. Corey perhaps needs to hire more employees to just copy and release records, which can be very timeconsuming. As far as her treatment of juveniles, I think she is trying to show them that crime does not pay and that they should think before they act. Patricia Freeman

She’s the Worst

First off, thanks for the continuing press on the worst state attorney in the history of this city [“Mad as Hell”], at least the worst since I was old enough to notice and care, now close to half a century. Best I can determine, the same right-wing party-line Republicans that voted Rick Scott into office are responsible for dumping her on us. Anyone who can anger Alan Dershowitz the way she has must be voted out next election. Bill Conrad

Unethical, Unlawful

Thanks for the story on Angela Corey’s abuse of power [“Mad as Hell”]. Records are just the tip of the iceberg, and I hope you will continue to investigate the unethical and unlawful actions of that office.

fees. After a heated debate and chasing my tail and eventually going to the top of my political food chain, I was able to correct the excuses, unnecessary delays and inflated and overinflated charges. I know the Florida statute needs to be cleaned up, but the laws are fairly specific when it comes to PRRs in our community. Fees have to be reasonable. There is no good reason why any public agency in this country should be less than forthcoming when it comes to PRRs. Thank you for speaking out on behalf of those of us who have no voice. George Vaughn

Everything That’s Wrong

I am glad they are redrawing the lines [The Flog, “Corrine Brown Has a Sad That She Might Have to Work a Little to be Reelected,” Jeffrey C. Billman, Aug. 1]. I hope someone decent who truly hopes to make a difference for all communities runs against [Brown] and wins! She represents everything that is wrong with our government! And no, race has nothing to do with my opinion of her.

I am writing to tell you how impressed I was to read your open letter to State Attorney Angela Corey and to acknowledge the gigantic cahunas necessary to write such a demanding letter to the one person in our community who carries the biggest stick [“Mad as Hell”]. No doubt you will be needing the services of her office again in the future. Good luck. I am not a journalist with your extensive background about PRRs, but I have in the past had a similar experience where I ran into a situation (with another totally different public agency) where my PRR was stonewalled and postponed and I was charged exorbitant

ou can still get the chance to secure seats before you the general public by reserving your season tickets before august 22, 2014. you can reserve your 2015 armada Fc season tickets with a $30 deposit per seat and get access to priority selection on Friday and saturday. The ArmAdA FC SeleCT-your-SeAT evenT will inClude: • Live viewing of Armada FC Development Squad practices Friday 7–8.p.m.; saturday 2–3 p.m.; sunday 2–3 p.m. • Live music from the local band Bread and Butter preSenTed by • Watch live English Premier League matches • Concessions and Interactive Games

Valerie McConatha, via Facebook

Get the Pork Chops

I am very pleased with the articles in Bite by Bite [Cover Story, Aug. 6], especially the fried chicken [Shan Stumpf]. I am a firefighter with JFRD and have been to Austin’s a lot. Please go back and get the pork chops. THEY ARE THE BEST. I have had and prepared many fried pork chops, and there is no comparison. You may want to try the pineapple cake as well. Also, please tell Dennis Ho to go to Cruisers Grill at the beach for a hamburger.

Jasen Hutch

Big Cahunas

here’s your opportunity to be the first to select your seats for the 2015 armada Fc season! Join the armada Fc at the Baseball grounds of Jacksonville for a weekend festival of soccer, where you can try out seat locations and check out views of the pitch. the fun kicks off with two exclusive season ticket owner events and culminates with a soccer celebration that is open to the public.

Chris Younger

Not First-Tier

Jacksonville doesn’t need libraries, nor do poor folks deserve an attorney, but we sure as hell need the largest video screens on earth [The Flog, “Jacksonville City Council Decides Poor People Don’t Need Lawyers After All,” Jeffrey C. Billman, Aug. 11]. Can we please stop wasting time and inches about this city being first-tier? Neil Armingeon, via Facebook If you would like to respond to something that appeared in the pages of Folio Weekly, please send an email with your address and phone number (for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com.

ArmAdA FC SeleCT-your-SeAT bASebAll groundS oF JACkSonville preSenTed by: erA dAviS & linn reAl eSTATe

Be one of the first to secure your seats and enjoy live Barclays english premier league action on the big screen.

SundAy, AuguST 24Th 11 A.m. – 5 p.m.

Don’t miss this great opportunity to claim your seats!

reserve your season tickets now!

call 1.844.2.ArmAdA or visit ArmAdAFC.Com AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

FIGHTIN’ WORDS

THE INEXORABLE JAY FANT The front-running state rep candidate is besieged by his opponent’s last-minute gambit

live in beautiful Avondale, but I’ve gotta tell ya, I’ve found it difficult to care a whit about the House District 15 Republican primary race over here. I’ve seen Jay Fant’s canned ads, with their empty, shtick-y conservative word salad and calculated bluster and hokum about “stopping Obamacare,” and I know to whom they are targeted: the Lexus SUV crowd, the local ladies who lunch, with maybe a smattering of that blue-collar appeal just to build up the coalition of people who like those Chinese-made “Stand Up for America — Be American!” bumper stickers. I’d tuned out on this race, as it seemed like just another “who’s more conservative?” pissing match. And that reaction is exactly what the Fant campaign wanted. The schlock of the TV spots and the mailer photograph, with Fant gazing into a sunset over the river — a scene oddly reminiscent of a Cialis commercial — was exactly the kind of playedout junk we’ve been seeing in Florida since George W. Bush was being compared to Winston Churchill. The heavily self-financed Fant campaign assumed the frontrunner pose, acting like it had an Ander Crenshaw sort of inevitability — and, weirdly, touting endorsements from the NRA and National Right to Life that turned out to be as much as fabrication as the rest of his gimmick. Fant’s messages? The same ol’ rich-boy bootstrap shuck and jive, all warmed-over smooth jazz. “The people of our community are tired of government run amok,” one of his releases tells us. “They want us to return to the traditional values of American exceptionalism and fiscal responsibility. This country was built on hard work and ingenuity, not on entitlements and government handouts. If we want to see growth again, we must turn back to the principles that made us great.” This country was built as much on tariffs and conscripted labor as it was “hard work and ingenuity,” but never mind that. This railing against government handouts, this illusory badinage about the “principles that made us great” — it’s just so much Grand Old Party boilerplate. Still, Fant’s dominated the polls, so he’s been coasting. In announcing his adherence to a so-called clean campaign pledge, in which

he and his primary opponent agreed not to malign each other in the grand tradition of recent Florida Republican primaries, he didn’t deign to mention his opponent by name. (It’s Paul Renner, by the way.) Perhaps he should have; in campaigning the way he has, as an agent of inexorableness, his operation comes off as complacent, leaving itself open for a haymaker in the form of a blistering mail piece from the Better Florida Fund, a front group for Renner consultant Marc Reichelderfer. Appropriating information already in the public domain about the shady last days of the Fant family’s First Guaranty Bank, days full of risky loans to buddies and other questionable accounting practices, the BFF mailer made it seem like Jay Fant’s tenure at First Guaranty was akin to Nero’s in Rome, an orgy of corruption and malfeasance so beyond the pale that Halliburton should have been involved. Serious charges, but why not? If Renner loses, his political life is likely done. Fant is disappointed that the clean campaign pledge was breached — but he shouldn’t be. The pledge, like the just war theory, is self-serving hooey, and it’s a wonder he got Renner to sign off on that fraud in the first place. The fact that Renner didn’t technically break the pact, since the mailer came from BFF, is all the better. This hollow pledge is a Munich pact in what was otherwise an utterly hollow, spiritless campaign on both sides. Do Republicans really give a flip if the charges levied upon Fant by the mailer are true? Cynics say no. We’ll find out on primary day, Aug. 26, if the 11th-hour sucker punch has KO’d the frontrunner. If Renner sends a follow-up mailer with some more blockbuster dirt, odds are it’ll drop before you read this, and it might be enough to make a difference. If he waits until the last few days before the election, Fant may have enough support to get through. These Avondale/Riverside voters like their candidates as predictable as their lawn services, and Fant reads to them from a very familiar script. AG Gancarski twitter/aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

2 MINUTES WITH … // DENNIS HO

Be Our Special Guest! Sundays

10am/est

The Worship Place

Wednesdays 2627 Spring Glen Rd.

7pm/est

Jacksonville 32207

JUSTIN TICHY/SOMMELIER, THE GROTTO

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

Folio Weekly: Do you have a wine collection? Justin Tichy: Yeah, I have a pretty big collection. I consume a lot of wine in my household; it’s kind of a daily thing, it goes with all the food and relaxing. So I buy a lot of value wine on closeout and I buy collectables from time to time. I’ve got a 100-bottle cooler; half of it’s filled with closeouts I bought for $5 a bottle; the other half is rare wines. What does it take for you to open a bottle of rare wine? Just somebody to enjoy it with. In the end, wine is art, but it’s art you consume, so what you’re left with is just the memory of it, and your memories include other people and the evening. Why is wine interesting to you? What got me into wine is, I started to understand that people were making it as an art, not just a consumer product to get people drunk and make money. They were doing it as an expression of their culture, their land, the weather pattern that year, the personalities and the people that work together in the wineries, all that came together and became the wine. It’s like you can experience all these places all over the world just by popping a cork. Is wine a subjective thing? I really think so. People taste different, and I cannot tell you how many times I’ve tasted the same wine and had a completely different impression or opinion on it, and I’ve seen it happen to others, too, where I’ll pull out the same wine more than once and they don’t realize it and they have a different experience each time. Are you ever disappointed in a rare wine? Yeah, yeah. But I think it’s important that you don’t always expect to be blown away. Some wines are about subtly and finesse; some of the greatest wines in the world are great because of that. So if somebody drops $100 on

a bottle of wine, they expect to be blown away with huge flavors on the palate, but that’s not always what it’s about. If wine is cheap, does that mean it’s bad? No, not at all. I’m always in search of good inexpensive wine. You’ll find a lot of great values in wines from the south of France, Spain or South America. I like California wines quite a bit, but any inexpensive California wine won’t be quite as good as an inexpensive wine from South America. How big exactly is the difference between a cheap wine and a rare one? I compare it to women. You might like the girl who kinda gives it up easy for a little

“Smell is really everything. There are only a handful of things you can actually taste.” bit, but in the long term, you like the one who holds back and you have to spend some time with it to understand it, that’s special. Wine is like that. Wines change throughout the evening; sometimes your first impression is nothing like what it ends up being at the end of the night. Has the sommelier industry changed? The program has changed since I first took it over 10 years ago at the [Culinary Institute of America]. The way they did it back then, there was a course, then the advanced, then the master’s. Since then, they’ve added the certified level [between the master’s and advanced levels].

How difficult is the sommelier test? It matters what level you take. The firstlevel somm test in my opinion is not very hard. The certified test isn’t extremely hard. If you know all your regions — and it literally takes a couple years of studying to learn them all — and you have a basic understanding of what it takes to pull everything apart and taste, it’s doable. I’ve looked at some of the questions for the advanced — it’s just too much information. “Name 10 diseases that attack the vine and how to remedy them.” Some of the information isn’t practical, but it’s what separates the boys from the men. What role does smell play in the appreciation of wine? Smell is really everything. There are only a handful of things you can actually taste. Your mouth can feel acidity and sweetness, but your nose can smell 100,000 different aromas; it’s really all about the nose of the wine. Can you think of any foods that don’t lend themselves very well to a wine pairing? Or does every food have some kind of wine to match? Some foods are really difficult to pair a wine with. Hot soups. Those are hard. I really love ramen, but it’s just not good with wine, it’s good with beer. What wine or wines would you pair with a burger? What’s fun to pair with a burger is something kind of rustic. Like a Spanish Monastrell — that would be great. Shrimp and grits? Something with a nice acidity. A lowerend white Burgundy. Barbecue? Red zin and barbecue go great together. All day long. Fried chicken? Champagne. Fried chicken and champagne, that’s what’s up. dho@folioweekly.com

NEWS

HURRY UP AND WAIT Five months later, John Study is still waiting for JSO to figure out if the cop he says pulled a Glock on him did anything wrong Photo by Dennis Ho

ohn Study wants answers. It’s been five months since the 21-year-old filed a complaint against a Jacksonville police officer for allegedly ramming him with his personal car and then pulling a police-issued Glock on him, but Study says the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office has done nothing more than ask him a few cynical questions during a taped interview. The JSO did, however, take the complaint seriously enough to reassign the officer, Corinthian Roosevelt Morgan, 46 at the time, to desk duty. In March. Since then, little has happened, at least as far as Study can tell. (The JSO says its Internal Affairs investigation is ongoing. Even though it has been more than five months since the incident, JSO spokeswoman Melissa Bujeda says department policy allows 180 days to complete an internal investigation. The JSO declined to release any additional information about the case.) The confrontation occurred during an argument over an open parking space in the 5 Points Publix parking lot in mid-March [News, “Parking War,” Derek Kinner, April 9]. “It makes me think that it’s to where they want that I just forget about it and say, ‘Oh well,’” Study says. “To me, the longer it’s taking, it’s like they’re trying to sweep it under the rug.” Even Morgan’s personal auto insurance company has already acted, agreeing to a fivefigure settlement with Study. Even though the settlement agreement contained a disclaimer denying any liability on Morgan’s part and precluding any further legal action against him, “What’s important here is they admitted something happened,” says T.C. Roberts, Study’s attorney. “They admitted that there was contact with the vehicle. They admitted something happened and [Morgan] isn’t admitting anything happened.” During the initial police investigation, Morgan denied hitting Study with his car or pointing the Glock at Study. The injury Study suffered from Morgan’s Toyota Corolla was serious enough to leave him on crutches for several weeks, due to

ligament damage to his knee. Because of the injury, he also lost a new job he had fought hard to get; his fiancée was pregnant and he needed to provide for his new family. The baby, Calvin, was born July 30. Study is still unemployed, mainly because of the injury, he says. The incident occurred on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Study, his pregnant fiancée, Natalie Fuster, and her parents decided to take advantage of the weather by visiting 5 Points and nearby Memorial Park along the St. Johns River. Many people had the same idea, and parking was hard to come by, so they decided to try the Publix parking lot. After losing out on several open spaces, Study saw one and jumped out of the family’s Saturn Vue to stand in it while his future father-in-law pulled around to park. Morgan also was looking for a parking space; he was meeting his wife, who was parked nearby, for lunch. He quickly went for the spot. He cut off the Fusters’ vehicle and tried to back in, then saw Study standing there. Morgan got out of his Toyota and told Study he couldn’t save the space. After a brief argument, Morgan got back into his car, gunned the engine and reversed into the spot, striking Study with the vehicle, according to Study. Study says he then approached Morgan and complained about being hit. Following another argument, Study says, Morgan pulled out a black Glock and flashed it at him, then put it back in the car. Study says he had no idea Morgan was a police officer because he was in street clothes. But he described the gun to police when they arrived. He says that proves Morgan pulled the gun on him, because he would not have had any idea what the Glock looked like unless he had seen it. Adding to the circumstantial evidence was Morgan’s apparent attempt to hide the fact that he had the gun with him, Study says. Police later said they had to retrieve Morgan’s weapon from his wife. He had put the gun in a backpack and given it to her before going into a restaurant. Study says that shows Morgan was trying to cover his tracks. And though Study told Morgan he was calling police to report the incident, Morgan

left the scene. (It is against the law to leave the scene of an accident.) When police arrived, Morgan was in the Sushi Café and came out later to talk to them. A JSO spokesman told Folio Weekly in an email that Morgan is on administrative duty while the investigation continues. Study says the insurance settlement won’t pay for the surgical repair he needs, or his previous medical bills. And he’s still upset about the JSO’s handling of his complaint. He says Internal Affairs investigator Det. C.J. Potter tried to intimidate him during a follow-up interview a couple of months ago. “He didn’t like what I had to say,” Study says. “He kept repeating questions over and over. I finally told him the third time, ‘I told you what happened, and I’m not going to keep repeating it over and over. You’re recording this, so I will say it one more time. I’m tired of this. You people are accusing me of lying. I knew what kind of gun he had, and I had no clue he was a police officer.’” (Potter did not return a phone call. Because of the ongoing internal investigation, the tape of that interview is not public.) Study thinks Morgan is being given preferential treatment because he’s a cop. “I don’t feel like this is right,” he says. “If it had been me, or another civilian, I would have gotten charged with leaving the scene after hitting a pedestrian and then pulling a gun. I would have gotten in trouble. I don’t feel like they did right. It’s very unprofessional.” He also questions the Internal Affairs investigation, especially the length of time it has dragged on. Study says he asked Potter how he could expect an objective investigation from one cop investigating another. “Why would you have the fox watch the henhouse?” Study says he asked Potter. “He said, ‘We are a completely different division,’ but I said, ‘No, you’re going to stick up for your people.’ They’re going to stick up for one another.” Only time will tell. According to JSO policy, the investigation should wrap up next month. Derek Kinner dkinner@folioweekly.com

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

The mayor, the blogger, the election and the lease A St. Augustine activist is raising hell about a lease agreement he says enriched the mayor at the public’s expense

By Susan Cooper Eastman

hen a storm blows across Florida, it happens suddenly and violently. Dark clouds gather in the sky. The rain pours down in blinding sheets. Claps of thunder sound like cannon fire. It feels like the end of the world. When St. Augustine’s Ed Slavin takes on a fight, he comes on like a Florida thunderstorm. The only difference is that Florida thunderstorms start brutally and end quickly, while Slavin’s torrents seem unceasing.

The bespectacled St. Augustine blogger and activist dresses nattily in oxford shirts and khakis with a mad professor mind-of-its-own shock of gray-and-black hair hurtling about his head. Slavin possesses a brilliant mind, a finely calibrated sense of outrage, and the mental acumen to both thoroughly investigate and mightily agitate. His partner referred to him as “the pest that never rests” in a letter recommending Slavin for the University of Florida’s law school. Slavin received his B.S. degree from the Walsh School of Foreign Service at Georgetown University. He interned in the Washington, D.C., office of Ted Kennedy and at the U.S. Department of Labor. As the editor of the Appalachian Observer, he uncovered a massive cover-up by Union Carbide involving mercury poisoning in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. He earned his law degree at Memphis State University and represented whistleblowers in landmark cases in Oak Ridge and Washington, D.C. He was disbarred in Tennessee in what he regards as retaliation, although he admits to calling an opposing lawyer a “redneck peckerwood,” and his disbarment involved charges that he harassed judges. Neither that disbarment nor his relocation to St. Augustine in 2000 curbed Slavin’s crusading nature. He still slings arrows, does copious research, gathers records, wages public harangues, and knows how to layer hyperbole with exacting case law. And he Just. Doesn’t. Stop. Slavin’s current targets include St. Johns County Supervisor of Elections Vicky Oakes, for failing to provide early voting sites close to St. Augustine’s historic downtown; public officials whose publicly financed trips to promote St. Augustine’s 450th anniversary celebration in 2015 he thinks are a waste (his criticism led to cancellation of a $25,000 trip for commissioners in 2010); the St. Paul African Methodist Episcopal Church, for planning to demolish a 1926 Mediterranean revival building and put up a parking lot; the city’s dumping of solid waste and raw sewage in Lincolnville, the historic black neighborhood that encompasses much of The Ancient City’s southwestern peninsula; and the arrests and outlawing of street artists and musicians in the city’s historic district, as well as the continued employment and SWAT team promotion of a St. Johns County Sheriff ’s deputy who was the subject of a blistering New York Times/Frontline investigation questioning whether he murdered his girlfriend (the official story is that she killed herself). 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

But most of all, the focus of Slavin’s ire of late has been St. Augustine Mayor Joseph L. Boles, who is seeking reelection this year. In Boles, Slavin sees remnants of the advantages that come with being part of the white hometown elite — vestiges of the good-ol’-boys network from which the city needs to untether. Case in point: Slavin has hammered Boles repeatedly about the deal he and former mayor Len Weeks made 25 years ago with the St. Augustine City Commission to lease a prime piece of commercial real estate in the heart of the historic corridor. Slavin and others estimate that Weeks and Boles have netted between $2 million and $3 million in profit from the arrangement over the years. Slavin believes Boles and Weeks should end the lease, and turn over control of the property and, with it, the building they erected there. Boles and Weeks have both pointed out that is exactly what will happen when the lease permanently expires in 10 years. But Slavin says the city is losing money right now, money it could use for infrastructure, for historic preservation, for the city’s 450th birthday celebration, and the city’s mayor should act in the interest of the greater good, not personal self-interest. “I think [Boles] ought to tear up the lease and let the city take back the property. Let the city make the profits instead of him and Weeks. I think of it as an exercise in fiduciary duty,” Slavin says. “I think people have a right to know how much they are making on the deal. I think the city has a duty to protect the taxpayers and the city, and we are being bamboozled by Boles and Weeks.”

he lease is perfectly legal — no one disputes that — but to Slavin, it’s an example of a public servant enriching himself at the public trough, something akin to the infamous deals worked out in the elder Mayor Daley’s Chicago. Ahead of next week’s mayoral primary election, Slavin’s banging that drum every chance he gets. It’s about more than just the lease, really. Slavin sees Boles as a symbol of the old, connected and wrong; the lease symbolizes the way things used to be done between the families who had power and connections, a relic in a mayoral race that’s shaping up as a fight among a long-serving mayor and two relative newcomers. St. Augustine historian David Nolan (father of former Folio Weekly staff writer Hamilton Nolan) agrees that Boles represents the homegrown St. Augustinian. For many people with roots in the city, he says, that’s a good thing. “I think Joe is a candidate of the good ol’ boys,” Nolan says. “He’s certainly been around longer, and he is a lawyer and he has represented them and probably written the wills and done other legal work for all of the former mayors supporting him. He’s not as backwards as his predecessors, the ones who supported beating down Civil Rights demonstrators. But [the city’s old guard is] most comfortable with him.” Joseph Boles has been the mayor of St. Augustine since 2006. (The city elects mayors to two-year terms.) His family moved here in 1967. In his first job as a St. Augustine teen, Boles dressed up as Ponce de Leon and rode a horse up and down St. George Street. If Boles wins, he will be the longest-serving mayor in the city’s 450year history. But in this election, the hometown candidate faces a new guard of would-be change agents who say the city focuses too much on its tourists and not enough on its residents. “The 450th is great, but what’s going to happen after 2015?” says Ken Bryan, one of Boles’ two challengers. “Meanwhile, the city is deteriorating.”

hen the lease deal was struck in 1989, neither Boles nor Weeks had yet sought public office. Boles was

For more information, contact your account manager or Sam Taylor at 260.9700 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com

Bonus: 3,000 Overprint AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

ED SLAVIN PHOTO BY DENNIS HO

an attorney specializing in estate planning and elder law. Weeks was a contractor and builder. In a city of just 11,575 people, they were both known quantities. Boles’ father was the director of the Lightner Museum. Weeks’ father ran Flagler Hospital. The friends saw an opportunity on St. George Street. The state had been managing the city’s historic properties. When that ended, the state shut down all the public restrooms. The public and the St. Augustine Record railed about the lack of facilities for visitors to the tourism-fueled city. Boles and Weeks approached the city commission with a deal. If the city would lease them the vacant land at 81 St. George St., originally for $100 a month, they’d build a restaurant and other commercial space there — along with public restrooms. The city commission signed off. Boles, Weeks and another partner built and operated the Florida Cracker Café at the site, leased space there to Savannah Sweets, and included public restrooms behind the café as part of the construction. Over the next 25 years, the rent for buildings along St. George Street skyrocketed; however, the 81 St. George St. lease amount stayed cheap. Weeks and Boles, who recently opted to renew the lease for another five years, pay $1,600 a month. The pair sold the Florida Cracker Café business for $150,000, but they still own the building it’s in and pay taxes on it. When the lease expires in 2024, the building Weeks and Boles built will become city property. For that reason, Weeks and Boles see nothing wrong with the lease. In fact, they think they’re doing a public service. “We were just normal guys who offered an opportunity to the city and the city thought it was a good deal for them,” Weeks says. “We took it on as entrepreneurs. I don’t feel guilty.” Boles and Weeks have refused to disclose how much they earn leasing space to businesses at 81 St. George St. But by examining what the city of St. Augustine receives in rent for a comparable business, it’s possible to get a rough idea how much the Florida Cracker Café and Savannah Sweets might pay Boles and Weeks. The Café del Hidalgo leases a 1,276-squarefoot city-owned building in the historic district at 35 Hypolita St. for $6,596.55 a month, or $5.17 per square foot. If Boles and Weeks leased their 2,466-square-foot building at 81 St. George St. to the Florida Cracker Café and Savannah Sweets at the same rate the city leases space to Café del Hidalgo, they would charge a combined $12,749 a month. Subtract the restrooms’ square footage and Weeks and Boles would charge about $10,300 a month. The $1,600 they pay the city is only for the land, however, not what they built there. After a July 25 city commission meeting at which Slavin spoke out about the lease, Boles defended his arrangement with the city, explaining that he and his partners took a risk. 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

When the lease ends, he added, the city will have an asset: “I make no apology for it. I think it is a win-win and the most perfect public-private partnership.” (Boles did not return calls for this story; instead he had Weeks call on his behalf.)

hile Slavin often seems to be a crier in the wilderness — he and former mayor George Gardner are the lease’s fiercest critics — Bryan and fellow candidate Nancy Shaver have seized upon it, too. Bryan, who served on the St. Johns County Commission from 2008 to 2011, says that while the lease might not be illegal, it is unethical. “If I were the mayor, I would have sold out my interest once I became mayor,” Bryan says. “It’s the only ethical thing to do to remove the appearance of impropriety; that is what one should be concerned about as an elected official.” He says he would seek an audit of all city leases and contracts if he wins the top city spot. Shaver, a business management consultant who moved to St. Augustine about five years ago, says that the lease arrangement taints the mayor’s office. “I have no doubt that it is not illegal, but it is not something I would ever consider ethical or something that would be appropriate for an elected official in that position,” she says. She’s especially critical of the fact that only Boles and Weeks — not the city — have the right to renew or terminate the agreement every five years until 2024. Shaver says that is “highly unusual, where the person who owns the property has no ability to terminate the lease.” Still, despite his many criticisms, even Slavin credits Boles with helping to move St. Augustine into modernity. Boles, after all, commemorated the city’s violent and important role in the passage of the Civil Rights Act, extended retirement benefits to domestic partners, and recognized the annual Gay Pride celebration. And as his supporters point out, he has — whether it’s for the city’s ultimate benefit or not — worked tirelessly on the upcoming 450th anniversary celebration. They argue that he deserves to see it through. “Truthfully, I hope Joe wins,” Weeks says. “I think he has done a great job as the face of St. Augustine in his eight years as mayor. I think he deserves to be mayor for the 450th because he has done so much to promote the city and to promote the 450th. He’s worked really hard. The 450th will be something to remember.” No matter what happens on Aug. 26 — if no candidate achieves a majority, the top two will go to a runoff on Nov. 4 — the election will be historic, and not just because of the upcoming anniversary or Boles’ longevity. If Shaver wins, she’ll be St. Augustine’s second female mayor. If Bryan wins, he’ll be St. Augustine’s first black mayor. A victory by either would mark a new era in St. Augustine politics. Regardless, Boles and Weeks will keep that lease at 81 St. George St. for another decade. seastman@folioweekly.com

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

SCAN THIS PAGE WITH THE LAYAR APP TO VIEW THIS WEEK’S PICKS

Our Picks Reasons to leave the house this week

SPLIT TO DRAG CITY CLASSIC CAR CRUISE

Cars and beach living go together like Jan and Dean, and now every third Thursday, you can show off your classic lady-killer in the Jax Beach Classic Car Cruise at SeaWalk Pavilion – choice rides like the iconic beach buggy ’56 Ford Ranch Wagon, the classy ’57 Chevy Bel Air, and beefy muscle models like the ’73 Dodge Charger and ’65 Ford Mustang. Catch the cars on display at the pavilion or as they burn up that quarter-mile (slowly) tooling down First Street. Surf’s up and summer’s almost over, so grab a couple honeys and head out to Surf City in your deuce coupe. Apparently, there’s two girls for every boy. 6 p.m. Aug. 21, SeaWalk Pavilion, Jax Beach.

CONSUME MASS QUANTITIES GREAT SOUTHERN TAILGATE COOKOFF

Ah, you can smell it already: That smokey harbinger that heralds the return of gridiron days and parking-lot gorging. Ready your antacids: The Great Southern Tailgate Cookoff is back to kick football season off the right way, with some of the best barbecue in the nation here in our own backyard. Five bucks earns you the right to sample and help decide who gets pit bragging rights and prize money. Beech Street Blues Band, Rockit Fly, Dirt Floor Krackers, The Bama Gamblers and Swingin’ Medallions perform. Local craft beers, too! 3-7:30 p.m. Aug. 22, 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Aug. 23 at Main Beach, Fernandina Beach, $5.

SWIM, BABY, SWIM UP THE RIVER DOWNTOWN

STRAIGHT FROM THE DELTA RADIO BIRDS

Peace, love and rock-’n’-roll Americana has taken on a strange metamorphosis since bushy-bearded younglings developed a taste for Daddy’s semi-hollows and early pioneer garb (lookin’ at you, Urban Outfitters). Despite having some of those elements, there’s a simple, unpretentious charm to the bluesy Americana electric guitar slide, stomp-your-heel rhythms and straightforward lyrical approach of the Atlanta-based Radio Birds. Their latest single, “Ease My Mind,” is a two-minute scorcher that sounds like it came straight from the Delta, with sizzling brass slide, cranked-to-11 reverb, and pounding, pummeling drums. Fjord Explorer and Governor’s Club support. 8 p.m. Aug. 22 at Burro Bar, Downtown, $5.

We, the children of Florida, have done our share of swimming. We’ve swum in lakes, in rivers, in pools, in disgusting canals, in the ocean where we once fancied ourselves surfers. But we’ve never swum like this – 10 freakin’ kilometers of swimming, all the way from Jacksonville University to Riverside Arts Market, past The Landing and Friendship Park and under the Main Street bridge. That’s exactly what 16 elite open-water swimmers are doing, and you can watch from anywhere along the swim route, or get out on the water yourself on a kayak or paddleboard and cheer them on all up-close-andpersonal-like. Swimmers launch at 9:30 a.m. Aug. 23 at St. Johns Riverkeeper headquarters at Jacksonville University, Arlington.

HURRAY, BEER! VETERANS UNITED CRAFT BREWERY TAPROOM GRAND OPENING

Northeast Florida already has a surfeit of really excellent local brewery taprooms – Bold City, Intuition, Engine 15, Ragtime – and now the Southside gets one of its own. On Friday, Veterans United Craft Brewery – founded last year, as the name suggests, by veterans, and helmed by a brewmaster and former U.S. Navy flight officer – opens the doors of its Baymeadows taproom, with food trucks and live music by Shawn Lightfoot and Arvid Smith. 5-10 p.m. Aug. 22, 1-10 p.m. Aug. 23 at 8999 Western Way, Ste. 104, Southside.

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

IT IS HAPPENING AGAIN (FOR THE FIRST TIME) TWIN PEAKS MARATHON

We’ve got good news. Not only is that gum you like going to come back in style, now you can indulge in 25 1/2 hours (straight through) of doughnut-and-cherry-pie-fueled fanatic binge-watching at Sun-Ray Cinema, which loves Twin Peaks so much, they decorated the ladies’ room to look like The Black Lodge, the series’ most iconic, and creepiest, setting. Equally surreal and oddly comforting, the sci-fi-horrorcomedy-soap-drama captured the nation’s attention during its (far too) brief run in the early ’90s, and became among the most celebrated cult TV shows of all time. A Peaks-themed menu, including Damn Fine Coffee, will help you make it through a very long, and very bizarre, weekend at the movies. The feature-length pilot starts at 8 p.m. Aug. 22, Sun-Ray Cinema, 5 Points, $10.

AUGUST 28 - 31

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

A&E // MUSIC

NOTS LOVE OF

All-female Memphis quartet Nots melds experimental post-punk with wide-eyed anticipation

emphis’ musical history is rife with more than just blues, gospel, soul, rockabilly, country and R&B. Since the 1970s, cult acts like Panther Burns, The Klitz, Crime, The Compulsive Gamblers, The Oblivians, The Grifters, Jay Reatard, Reigning Sound and Ex-Cult have transformed the Bluff City from a redoubt of all sounds Southern to the epicenter of primal, scuzzed-out garage-punk. Cementing the scene’s DIY ethic, Eric Oblivian founded Goner Records in 1993 because nobody else would release his namesake band’s music — but since then, the now-legendary label has served as a springboard for cult acts like Harlan T. Bobo, The King Khan & BBQ Show and Ty Segall. In 2004, Goner added a record store and yearly festival to the mix, and the mini-empire now serves as a local, regional and national punk-rock mecca. All of which lays the perfect narrative path for all-female Memphis quartet Nots, embarking on a maiden national tour this month and releasing its debut full-length on Goner in November. Sure, throwback garage rock is all the rage these days, but Nots isn’t selling standard-issue psych-slop silliness. Instead, the handful of abrasive, throaty songs that core duo Natalie Hoffman and Miami native Charlotte Watson have released with various supporting players hark back to experimental ’70s and ’80s British pioneers like Androids of Mu, Slits and Raincoats.

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

But as Hoffman tells Folio Weekly, Nots’ early 7-inch samplers don’t necessarily represent the new direction the band has taken since drummer Laurel Ferdon left the fold. “Charlotte and I have been doing Nots for probably four years now, but we’ve gone through so many lineup changes,” Hoffman says. “Recently, Charlotte moved to drums and we added Madison [Farmer] on bass and Alexandra [Eastburn] on synth, just in time to record the upcoming LP. It was a bit stressful trying to get all the songs written, but it ended up being a surprisingly awesome transition.” Young bands entering a studio for the first time often encounter massive hurdles, but Hoffman says that the recording experience with producer Doug Easley was liberating — and right up their primitivist alley. “Doug recorded us live with minimal overdubs together in the same room as we would play them at a show, which captured our energy,” she says. “But it’s funny — before we came in, he watched a video of us from four years ago, when we were a completely different band. So when he heard us play stuff for the new album, he was, like, ‘What are you guys?’ He was very shocked.” Anyone possessing a passing familiarity with Memphis punk won’t be shocked by Nots’ propulsive approach, however. “In terms of aggression and intensity, I think most bands from here are pretty similar,” says Hoffman,

who until recently played bass for Ex-Cult, Memphis’ hottest indie prospect. “Obviously, we’re all women, so our vocal sound is completely different. And we gravitate toward weird female post-punk bands like Androids of Mu. That is most influential on how I want to write music.” Hoffman believes the addition of Eastburn, who’d never played synth before taking up the instrument for Nots (“She listens to so much of it, we figured she’d be really good at it,” Hoffman says), should push the band into uncharted territory. But she adds that Nots still feels indebted to the long, strange history of Memphis punk. “We’ve all been in Memphis for at least seven years, so we’ve seen these waves and explosions of great bands like The Barbaras and Jay Reatard,” she says. “There was a great punk scene with a strong support system here before us, and there’s tons of shit going on now. We’re really lucky.” Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

NOTS with THE MOLD, TIGHT GENES and RIVERSIDE PARTY GIRLS 9 p.m. Aug. 24 at rain dogs., 5 Points, $5, 379-4969, facebook.com/raindogsjax

A&E // MUSIC

LIL DEBBIE (pictured), TWINKI, HEAVY FLOW, DEM GODZ and LUKE OAKLEY at 8 p.m. on Aug. 25 at Burro Bar, Downtown.

CONCERTS THIS WEEK

Music by the Sea: THE BIG LONESOME 6 p.m. Aug. 20 at St. Johns County Pier Park, St. Augustine, free, thecivicassociation.org. BALLYHOO!, BUMPIN UGLIES & FAYUCA 8 p.m. Aug. 20 at Original Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, $12, 460-9311. SAVANNA LEIGH BASSETT 6 p.m. Aug. 20 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., $10, 388-3179. FRAMEWORKS, THE CAUTION CHILDREN, RITES, GREY FOX, DELTA SUN 8 p.m. Aug. 20 at Burro Bar, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $8, 353-6067. Blackwater Music Festival: SLIGHTLY STOOPID, STEEL PULSE, FISHBONE, STEPHEN MARLEY Aug. 21-23 at Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park, 3076 95th Dr., Live Oak, $30-$140, 386-364-1683. Concerts in the Plaza: THE RICK ARCUSA BAND 7 p.m. Aug. 21 at Plaza de la Constitución, 48 King St., St. Augustine, free. CHAPPO, STARDEATH, WHITE DWARFS, FAZE WAVE 8 p.m. Aug. 21 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496. ASG, DIDGES CHRIST SUPERDRUM, PARADIGM 8 p.m. Aug. 21, Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, $12, 547-2188. THE CRAZY DAYSIES Aug. 21, WXYZ Bar, Aloft Hotel, 4812 Deer Lake Dr. W., Southside, 998-4448. JESSE KEITH WHITLEY, BRYAN MOFFITT, OL’ CRACKER 9 p.m. Aug. 22 at Original Café Eleven, $8. THE FRESH BEAT BAND 6:30 p.m. Aug. 22 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., $29.50-$46.50, 209-0367. THE BAMA GAMBLERS, MATTEO QUMENTO 8 p.m. Aug. 22 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $8, 246-2473. ADAM SANDERS, JAMIE DAVIS 8 p.m. Aug. 22 at Mavericks, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, $5, 356-1110. RADIO BIRDS, FJORD EXPLORER, GOVERNOR’S CLUB 8 p.m. Aug. 22 at Burro Bar, $5. PRIMER 55, GENERATOR, PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE, SYLENT VYLENTZ, TRIBE OF TRUTH 8 p.m. Aug. 22 at Jack Rabbits, $8. MOVEMENT22: THE DOG APOLLO, GREY MARKET, BURNT HAIR, GHOSTWITCH, DJ E-N-S, THE LYRICIST LIVE, SPINDIGO, IRONSIDE 9 p.m. Aug. 22 at Club TSI Discotheque, 333 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5. SPANKY THE BAND 8 p.m. Aug. 22 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, free, 353-1188. OVERSIZED LOAD 9 p.m. Aug. 22 and 23 at Ragtime Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877. CASSADEE POPE 6 p.m. Aug. 23 at Mavericks, $12.50-$17.50.

FJORD EXPLORER, JOHN CARVER BAND, KATIE GRACE HELOW 8 p.m. Aug. 23 at Jack Rabbits, $8. EMILY & THE COMPLEXES, BREAD AND CIRCUS, EMA & THE OLD KINGS 8 p.m. Aug. 23 at Burro Bar, $5. RETRO KATS 8 p.m. Aug. 23 at The Jacksonville Landing, free, 353-1188. CATFISH RODEO 6 p.m. Aug. 23 at Nippers Beach Grille, 2309 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 247-3300. HOMEFIELD ADVANTAGE, LAKE DISNEY, NICK BRYANT 8 p.m. Aug. 23 at Freebird Live, $8. MONDO MIKE & THE PO BOYS, SAVANNA LEIGH BASSETT, KATHERINE ARCHER Starts 10:30 a.m. Aug. 23 at Riverside Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave., free, 389-2449. THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES 1 p.m. Aug. 24 at Mellow Mushroom, 3611 St. Johns Ave., Avondale, free, 388-0200. NOTS, TIGHT GENES, THE MOLD, RIVERSIDE PARTY GIRLS 8 p.m. Aug. 24 at rain dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969. DOYLE (Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein, Alex Wolfman Story, Anthony “Tiny” Biuso, Left Hand Graham), ASHYLUS 6:30 p.m. Aug. 24 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $15-$30, 699-8186. COLM KEEGAN 8 p.m. Aug. 24 at Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $25, 249-9595. MIKE SHACKELFORD ACOUSTIC NIGHT Aug. 24 at Bull Park, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, free. LIFE ON THE SIDELINE, WINTER WAVE, SACK THE CITY 8 p.m. Aug. 24 at Burro Bar, $5. RIVER CITY BLUES BAND 9 p.m. Aug. 24 at Ragtime Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877. LIL DEBBIE, TWINKI, DEM GODZ, LUKE OAKLEY, HEAVY FLOW 8 p.m. Aug. 25 at Burro Bar, $12. GRENDEL, LUDOVICO TECHNIQUE 9 p.m. Aug. 26 at Eclipse, 4219 St. Johns Ave., Avondale, $15, 387-3582. BISHOP ALLEN 8 p.m. Aug. 26 at Burro Bar, $10. Music by the Sea: BILLY BUCHANAN & FREE AVENUE 6 p.m. Aug. 27 at SJC Pier Park, free, thecivicassociation.org. SAMURAI SHOTGUN, ASKMEIFICARE 8 p.m. Aug. 27 at Burro Bar, $5. REPTAR, SWIMM 8 p.m. Aug. 27 at Underbelly, $12-$15.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

SAM HUNT Aug. 28, Mavericks LOVE LANGUAGE, WISE RIVER, MEMPHIBIANS Aug. 28, Underbelly Concerts in the Plaza: LONESOME BERT & THE SKINNY LIZARDS Aug. 28, Plaza de la Constitución THE SPLINTERS Aug. 28, Ragtime Tavern BLACK KIDS, THE DOG APOLLO, TOMBOI Aug. 29, Underbelly SMILE EMPTY SOUL, SUPER BOB, BRIDGE TO GRACE Aug. 29, Jack Rabbits

CHILLED MONKEY BRAINS Aug. 29, Freebird Live MIDNIGHT MASSES, DELPHIC ORACLE, RUFFIANS Aug. 29, Burro Bar PERSONA NON GRATA Aug. 29, The Jacksonville Landing BERES HAMMOND Aug. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ALIEN ANT FARM, KALEIDO, STAYNE THEE ANGEL, DEAR ABBEY, CUTTER Aug. 30, Aqua CHARM CITY DEVILS Aug. 30, Jack Rabbits MADHAUS Aug. 30, Freebird Live MAMA BLUE, CINDY BEAR, FABLE FOUNDRY Aug. 30, Riverside Arts Market SOMETHING DISTANT Aug. 30, The Jacksonville Landing First Coast Music Fest: GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, WORLD GONE, PALM TREES & POWERLINES, FUSEBOX FUNK, LUCKY COSTELLO, CITY BOI, ALLELE, AMONGST THE FORGOTTEN, ASKMEIFICARE, BCG, BRENT BYRD, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, CHRIS WOODS, DAMNEDGED, DE LIONS OF JAH, DENIED TIL DEATH, EMMA MOSELEY BAND, EVERSAY, EVICTION, FETCH, FIRE AT PLUTO, FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT, GHBEEZIE, GLAZED, G MAYN FROST, THE GROOVE COALITION, HIATUS, INNUENDO, JAHMEN, KIM RETEGUIZ & THE BLACK CAT BONES, LAKE DISNEY, LARRY BELLYFATE, LEGIT, MAMA BLUE, MINOR INFLUENCE, NINA RENAE, PARKRIDGE, PRIDELESS, PRIME TREES, PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE, ROCK-N-ROLL CHROME, ROCK THE LOVE TOUR, RUSTY SHINE, SEAN PICASSO, SLOW MOTION SUICIDE, S.P.O.R.E., STANKSAUCE, THE STATE TROOPERS, STAYNE THEE ANGEL, SUNSPOTS, TOM BENNETT BAND, TSUJINO, URSA MINOR, YOUNG CHULO, YS FXXL Aug. 30 & 31, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar POP EVIL, ALLELE Aug. 31, Freebird Live MICKEY AVALON, LEGIT Aug. 31, Jack Rabbits ROCK OF AGES: 418 BAND Aug. 31, Jacksonville Landing Music by the Sea: MID-LIFE CRISIS Sept. 3, SJC Pier Park PARMALEE Sept. 4, Mavericks BLOODSHOT BILL, TIGHT GENES, RIVERSIDE PARTY GIRLS Sept. 4, Underbelly NORTHE, THE INVERTED, THE COLD START, WEEKEND ATLAS Sept. 5, Jack Rabbits DHARMA Sept. 5, Burro Bar VOCKAH REDU, VLAD the INHALER, TWINKI Sept. 5, Underbelly I-VIBES, DJ RAGGAMUFFIN Sept. 5, Freebird Live JEFF LORBER FUSION Sept. 6, Ritz Theatre PROFESSOR WHISKEY Sept. 6, Underbelly RIVERS MONROE, ANGELS FOR HIRE Sept. 6, Murray Hill Theatre THE GROOVE ORIENT Sept. 6, Jack Rabbits PSYCHOSTICK, ONE-EYED DOLL, WILD THRONE Sept. 6, Aqua Freebird Live 15th Anniversary Party: GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, CHARLIE WALKER, BONNIE BLUE, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, KYMYSTRY & FRYNDS, SIDEREAL Sept. 6, Freebird Live THREE DOORS DOWN ACOUSTIC Sept. 7, The Florida Theatre Endless Waltz, a Kaoru Abe Commemoration: JAMISON WILLIAMS, CHARLES PAGANO, A.J. HERRING, THOMAS MILOVAC, DANA FASANO, SCOTT LEONARD LEONARD BAZAR, ZACHARY NACE BETHEL, JASON DEAN ARNOLD, MICHAEL LANIER, AG DAVIS, JAY DECOSTA PEELE, TIM ALBORO, DAN KOZAK Sept. 7, Shantytown Pub ZZ TOP, JEFF BECK Sept. 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DIARRHEA PLANET, WOVEN IN, DILDOZER, THE COUGS Sept. 8, Underbelly MRS. SKANNOTTO Sept. 9, Jack Rabbits BYRNE & KELLY Sept. 9 & 11, Culhane’s Irish Pub BRITISH INVASION TRIBUTE SHOW Sept. 9, Burro Bar Music by the Sea: GO GET GONE Sept. 10, SJC Pier Park THE TRADITIONAL Sept. 10, Burro Bar ROADKILL GHOST CHOIR, IN TONGUES Sept. 10, Underbelly LOLIPOP CARAVAN Sept. 11, Underbelly BYRNE & KELLY Sept. 11, Culhane’s Irish Pub REND COLLECTIVE Sept. 11, Murray Hill Theatre ESE Sept. 11, Burro Bar FORTUNATE YOUTH, THE STEPPAS, ASHES OF BABYLON, EASE UP Sept. 12, Freebird Live ANGELS FOR HIRE, JONNIE MORGAN BAND Sept. 12, Jack Rabbits AMELIA ISLAND BLUES FEST: JOHN PRIMER, SAMANTHA FISH, BERNARD ALLISON, CURTIS SALGADO, BEN PRESTAGE, THE MOJO ROOTS, MATTHEW CURRY, ROGER HURRICANE WILSON Sept. 12 & 13, Main Beach, Fernandina Connection Festival: KERMIT RUFFINS & the BBQ SWINGERS, LESS THAN JAKE, SURFER BLOOD, WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, TREME BRASS BAND, ORQUESTRA EL MACABEO, LA QUILOMBERA, THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES, JACKIE STRANGER, WEEKEND ATLAS, NORTHE, EGO KILLER, JAH ELECT & the I QUALITY BAND, UNIVERSAL GREEN, ORANGE AIR, ALEXIS RHODE, RYVLS, PROFESSOR KILMURE, RUFFIANS, THE GOOTCH, ASKMEIFICARE, DIRTY AUTOMATIC, WOVEN IN, GARRETT, TOM BENNETT BAND, MONDO MIKE & the PO BOYS, ARTILECT, OSCAR MIKE, KANA KIEHM, PARKER URBAN BAND, KNOCK FOR SIX, NEVER ENDING STRUGGLE Sept. 12-14, Downtown Jacksonville 1964: THE TRIBUTE (Beatles tribute) Sept. 13, Florida Theatre J. BOOG, HOT RAIN Sept. 13, Jack Rabbits PAPADOSIO, ASIAN TEACHER FACTORY Sept. 13, Freebird Live GOVINDA, BIT DEFF, VLAD THE INHALER Sept. 13, Underbelly SHERYL CROW Sept. 14, The Florida Theatre ASKMEIFICARE, PLANETRAWK, SAMURAI SHOTGUN Sept. 14, Jack Rabbits B-SIDE PLAYERS Sept. 16, Jack Rabbits JOEY CAPE (Lagwagon), CHRIS CRESSWELL (Flatliners), BRIAN WAHLSTROM Sept. 17, Jack Rabbits Music by the Sea: NAVY PRIDE Sept. 17, SJC Pier Park THE PRETTY RECKLESS, ADELITA’S WAY Sept. 18, Freebird Live

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

A&E // MUSIC GOLDEN PELICANS, THE MOLD, RIVERSIDE PARTY GIRLS, MOUNT THE STALLION Sept. 18, Underbelly MAD CADDIES Sept. 18, Jack Rabbits TELESMA Sept. 19, Freebird Live THE GET RIGHT BAND Sept. 19 & 20, The White Lion A Night of Dark Ambient: SCARED RABBITS, MONOLITH TRANSMISSIONS, SEA OF APPARATIONS, THE SEPIA RAVEN, CON RIT Sept. 20, CoRK Arts District JACK WHITE Sept. 20, T-U Center STICK FIGURE, PACIFIC DUB, HIRIE Sept. 20, Freebird Live GRAM PARSONS CONTEST Sept. 20, Jack Rabbits HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS, THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS, NEW EMPIRE, FAMOUS LAST WORDS, THE ONGOING CONCEPT, EVERYBODY RUN, EVERSAY Sept. 21, Freebird Live Experience Hendrix: BUDDY GUY, KENNY WAYNE SHEPHERD, JONNY LANG, DOYLE BRAMHALL II, ERIC JOHNSON, CHRIS LAYTON, ZAKK WYLDE, BILLY COX Sept. 21, Florida Theatre MIKE SHACKELFORD ACOUSTIC NIGHT Sept. 21, Bull Park AB JOYCE MANOR, DES ARK, THE EXQUISITS Sept. 21, 1904 Music Hall GRITTY MUSICK, DRAZAH & TUNK, SUPER SMASH BROS, STATIC, DOC SEUSS Sept. 23, Jack Rabbits SENSES FAIL, NO BRAGGING RIGHTS, KNUCKLE PUCK Sept. 24, Underbelly CODE ORANGE, TWITCHING TONGUES, AXIS, BLISTERED, RHYTHM OF FEAR Sept. 25, Burro Bar MEGHAN LINSEY, JORDYN STODDARD Sept. 25, Café Eleven BRONCHO, SUNBEARS! Sept. 26, Jack Rabbits GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, JACKSONVEGAS, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND Sept. 26, Freebird Live SHAWN McDONALD Sept. 27, Murray Hill Theatre CHARLI XCX, ELLIPHANT, FEMME Sept. 29, Freebird Live PETER FRAMPTON Sept. 30, The Florida Theatre DAVID GRAY Oct. 1, The Florida Theatre CITIZEN, YOU BLEW IT, HOSTAGE CALM, TRUE LOVE Oct. 1, Underbelly KEITH SWEAT, HOWARD HEWITT Oct. 3, T-U Center DJ VADIM, FORT KNOX FIVE Oct. 3, Freebird Live WIDESPREAD PANIC Oct. 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GOV’T MULE Oct. 9, The Florida Theatre RICHARD MARX Oct. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NOT TONIGHT JOSEPHINE, TREES SETTING FIRES Oct. 9, Jack Rabbits EARTH, WIND & FIRE Oct. 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE SHIVAS Oct. 11, Underbelly THE VIBRATORS, POWERBALL Oct. 12, Jack Rabbits TREVOR HALL, CAS HALEY Oct. 12, Freebird Live CLAUDE BOURBON Oct. 14, Mudville Music Room WILLY PORTER, BRENT BYRD Oct. 16, Original Café Eleven

UNDERBELLY SUNDAY | AUGUST 24 Doyle (formerly of The Mistfits) Chieforia & Special Guests

WEDNESDAY | AUGUST 27 Reptar / Swimm

THURSDAY | AUGUST 28 Love Language

FRIDAY | AUGUST 29 Black Kids with The Dog Apollo & Tomboi

SAT & SUN | AUGUST 30 & 31 First Coast Music Fest

WEDNESDAY | SEPTEMBER 3 Artwalk feat. Grandpa’s Cough Medicine

THURSDAY | SEPTEMBER 4 Bloodshot Bill

FRIDAY | SEPTEMBER 5 Vockah Redu

SATURDAY | SEPTEMBER 6 Professor Whiskey

MONDAY | SEPTEMBER 8 Diarrhea Planet

WEDNESDAY | SEPTEMBER 10 Roadkill Ghost Choir w/ Guests In Tongues LP Release Party 113 EAST BAY STREET | JACKSONVILLE,FL 32202 UNDERBELLYLIVE.COM

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

Magnolia Fest: LYLE LOVETT, BELA FLECK, JASON ISBELL, INDIGO GIRLS, DONNA THE BUFFALO, DR. JOHN, THE WAILERS, JIM LAUDERDALE, THE LEE BOYS, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, FLAGSHIP ROMANCE, PARKER URBAN BAND, CHELSEA SADDLER Oct. 16-19, Suwannee Music Park UNDERHILL ROSE Oct. 17, Mudville Music Room DISCIPLE, PROJECT 86 Oct. 17, Murray Hill Theatre DAVID NAIL Oct. 17, Mavericks RINGO STARR & HIS ALL STARR BAND Oct. 18, Moran Theater MOTLEY CRUE, ALICE COOPER Oct. 19, Veterans Memorial Arena ZIGGY MARLEY Oct. 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BLOCKHEAD, ELAQUENT, MUNSHINE Oct. 19, Underbelly LOS LONELY BOYS Oct. 21, The Florida Theatre THE NTH POWER, SQUEEDLEPUSS, SAM SANDERS Oct. 21, Freebird Live THE DEVIL MAKES THREE, CAVE SINGERS Oct. 22, Freebird Live IL SOGNO DEL MARINAIO, MEMPHIBIANS Oct. 23, Jack Rabbits ANDY McKEE Oct. 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ANJELAH JOHNSON Oct. 24, The Florida Theatre FINCH, MAPS & ATLASES, WEATHERBOX Oct. 24, Freebird Live ICED EARTH, REVAMP, AMON AMARTH, SABATON, SKELETONWITCH Oct. 25, Freebird Live PAUL McCARTNEY Oct. 25, Veterans Memorial Arena BLEEDING IN STEREO, WORLD GONE, DENIED TIL DEATH, PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE Oct. 25, Jack Rabbits THE POLISH AMBASSADOR Oct. 29, Freebird Live DAVID COOK Oct. 31, Jack Rabbits SUPERVILLAINS, THROUGH THE ROOTS Oct. 31, Freebird Live ANGEL OLSEN, LIONLIMB Nov. 1, Jack Rabbits MELVINS Nov. 3, Jack Rabbits CASTING CROWNS Nov. 6, Veterans Memorial Arena Old City Music Fest: OLD DOMINION, JASON D. WILLIAMS Nov. 7, St. Augustine START MAKING SENSE (Talking Heads tribute) Nov. 7, Jack Rabbits Old City Music Fest: JOAN JETT & THE BLACKHEARTS, WILL HOGE Nov. 8, St. Augustine HEART Nov. 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER, TIFT MERRITT Nov. 9, The Florida Theatre TAB BENOIT Nov. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall REVEREND HORTON HEAT, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE Nov. 12, Jack Rabbits MATISYAHU Nov. 12, The Florida Theatre Bear Creek Music & Arts Festival: DUMPSTAPHUNK, UMPHREY’S McGEE, ST. PAUL & THE BROKEN BONES, OTEIL BURBRIDGE, ZACH DEPUTY, MINGO FISHTRAP, THE FRITZ, CATFISH ALLIANCE Nov. 13-16, Suwannee Music Park ROD PICOTT Nov. 13, Mudville Music Room TRIBAL SEEDS, BALLYHOO, GONZO WITH BEYOND I SIGHT Nov. 13, Freebird Live EX CULT, THE MOLDS Nov. 14, Underbelly O.A.R. Nov. 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MATTHEW & GUNNAR NELSON Nov. 14, P.V. Concert Hall DIRTY HEADS, ROME Nov. 14, Mavericks THE CURT TOWNE BAND, FIREROAD Nov. 14, Freebird Live JAMES TAYLOR & HIS ALL-STAR BAND: LOU MARINI, WALT FOWLER, LARRY GOLDINGS, LUIS CONTE, STEVE GADD, ANDREA ZONN, KATE MARKOWITZ, ARNOLD McCULLER, DAVID LASLEY, JIMMY JOHNSON, MICHAEL LANDAU Nov. 19, Veterans Memorial Arena RELIENT K, BLONDFIRE, FROM INDIAN LAKES Nov. 24, Freebird Live

AARON CARTER Nov. 25, Jack Rabbits XX QUINTRON & MISS PUSSYCAT, WHITE MYSTERY, BURNT HAIR, THE MOLD Dec. 9, Underbelly DIANA KRALL Dec. 9, Jacoby Symphony Hall PIERCE PETTIS Dec. 11, Mudville Music Room WYNONNA & THE BIG NOISE Dec. 14, The Florida Theatre JOE BONAMASSA Dec. 17, The Florida Theatre BOWSER & THE STINGRAYS, HERMAN’S HERMITS & PETER NOONE, GARY PUCKETT & THE UNION GAP Dec. 18, The Florida Theatre BAD SANTA, GRANT PEEPLES Dec. 18, Mudville Music Room TRACE ADKINS CHRISTMAS SHOW Dec. 19, Florida Theatre DON WILLIAMS Jan. 7, Florida Theatre ’70s Soul Jam: THE SPINNERS, THE STYLISTICS, THE MAIN INGREDIENT Jan. 8, Florida Theatre THE BOTH (AIMEE MANN, TED LEO) Jan. 16, P.V. Concert Hall ARLO GUTHRIE Jan. 20, The Florida Theatre KATHLEEN MADIGAN Jan. 22, The Florida Theatre URSAMINOR, SURVIVING SEPTEMBER, THE HEALING PROCESS, NOCTURNAL STATE OF MIND Jan. 31, Freebird Live TIME JUMPERS & VINCE GILL Feb. 7, The Florida Theatre JOHN HAMMOND Feb. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MARCUS ROBERTS TRIO Feb. 20, The Florida Theatre THREE DOG NIGHT March 10, Florida Theatre

CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith every Thur.Yancy Clegg every Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. HAMMERHEADS, 2045 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-7783 DJ Refresh 9 p.m. 1 a.m. every Sun. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-8999 Brent Byrd Aug. 21

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores 9 p.m. every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KDJs Cameron Gregor, NicKFresh spin for Doowutchyalike Aug. 20. Grendel, Ludovico Technique Aug. 26. KJ Free 9 p.m. Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance 9 p.m. Fri. Music every Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Mark O’Quinn Aug. 21. Bread & Butter Aug. 22. Ryan Campbell Duo Aug. 23. This Frontier Needs Heroes 1 p.m. Aug. 24

BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 3Play Aug. 23. Billy Bowers Aug. 24 BLUE WATER ISLAND GRILL, 205 N. First St., 249-0083 Displace Aug. 26 CASA MARINA HOTEL, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Charlie Walker 2 p.m. Aug. 24 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Colm Keegan 8 p.m. Aug. 24. Irish music every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 Herd of Watts 10 p.m. Aug. 22. Dirty Pete 10 p.m. Aug. 23. Jeremy King 8:30 p.m. Aug. 24. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Red Beard & Stinky E 10 p.m. every Thur. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 The Bama Gamblers, Matteo Qumento Aug. 22. Homefield Advantage, Lake Disney, Nick Bryant Aug. 23. Chilled Monkey Brains, General Tso’s Fury, Sunspots Aug. 29 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade 6 p.m. every Sun. Back From the Brink 9 p.m. every Mon. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., NB, 249-2922 Incognito Aug. 22. Unique Sound Aug. 23 LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Blistur 10 p.m. Aug. 22 & 23. Dirty Pete every Wed. Who Rescued Who every Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Jazz Aug. 20. S.P.O.R.E. Aug. 21. Whetherman Aug. 22

A&E // MUSIC MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Neil Dixon 6 p.m. Tue. Gypsies Ginger 6 p.m. every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer 6 p.m. every Thur. NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 The Company Aug. 20. King Eddie & Pili Pili Aug. 21. Aaron Koerner Aug. 22. Catfish Rodeo 6 p.m. Aug. 23. Kevin Ski Aug. 26 NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 372-4105 Billy Bowers Aug. 23. Dan Evans Aug. 28 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Pat Rose Aug. 20. Mark Williams Aug. 21. Boogie Freaks Aug. 22 & 23. River City Blues Band Aug. 24. Live music every Thur.-Sun. WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 247-4508 Dial Tone 7:30 p.m. Aug. 21. Live music 9:30 p.m. Aug. 22

DOWNTOWN

BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St., 353-4686 Frameworks, The Caution Children, Rites, Grey Fox, Delta Sun 8 p.m. Aug. 20. Radio Birds, Fjord Explorer, Governor’s Club Aug. 22. Emily & the Complexes, Bread and Circus, Ema & the Old Kings Aug. 23. Life on the Sideline, Winter Wave, Sack the City Aug. 24. Lil Debbie, Twinki, Dem Godz, Luke Oakley, Heavy Flow Aug. 25. Bishop Allen Aug. 26. Samurai Shotgun, Askmeificare Aug. 27. Midnight Masses, Delphic Oracle, Ruffians Aug. 29 CLUB TSI DISCOTHEQUE, 333 E. Bay St. Movement22: The Dog Apollo, Grey Market, Burnt Hair, Ghostwitch, DJ E-N-S, The Lyricist Live, Spindigo, Ironside 9 p.m. Aug. 22 FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6 p.m. Aug. 20 & 27. Savanna Leigh Bassett 8:30 p.m. Aug. 22. Brett Foster Duo 8 p.m. Aug. 23. Live music every Fri. & Sat. JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Spanky the Band 8 p.m. Aug. 22. Retro Kats 8 p.m. Aug. 23 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Adam Sanders, Jamie Davis 8 p.m. Aug. 22. Cassadee Pope 6 p.m. Aug. 23. Sam Hunt Aug. 28. Joe Buck, Big Tasty Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein, Alex Wolfman Story, Anthony “Tiny” Biuso, Left Hand Graham, Ashylus Aug. 24. Reptar, Swimm Aug. 27. Love Language, Wise River, Memphibians Aug. 28. Black Kids, The Dog Apollo, Tomboi Aug. 29

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Jason Ivey 9 p.m. Aug. 21. Mark O’Quinn 9 p.m. Aug. 22. Bongo Boys 9 p.m. Aug. 23. John Earle 3 p.m. Aug. 24 WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 SuperNatural 9:30 p.m. Aug. 22 & 23. Open mic 9 p.m. every Thur. Deck music at 5 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., 4:30 p.m. Sun.

Vine 7:30 p.m. Aug. 22. Ryan Crary Aug. 23. Savanna Leigh Bassett Aug. 27

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

LAKE SHORE BAR, 2420 Lake Shore Blvd., 389-9224 Swingin Harpoon Aug. 24 MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Savanna Leigh Bassett 6:30 p.m. Aug. 20. Riley Bragg & Friends 8 p.m. Aug. 22 rain dogs., 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Chasing Jonah Aug. 20. Nots, Tight Genes, The Mold, Riverside Party Girls 8 p.m. Aug. 24 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Katherine Archer, Mondo Mike & the Po Boys, Savanna Leigh Bassett Aug. 23

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 Billy Bowers 8 p.m. Aug. 21 ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Drinking Water Aug. 22. Scuttered the Bruce Aug. 23 CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Ballyhoo!, Bumpin Uglies, Fayuca 8 p.m. Aug. 20. Jesse Keith Whitley, Bryan Moffitt, Ol’ Cracker Aug. 22 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Mojo Roux Aug. 22. Buffalo Rose., Mojo Roux Aug. 23. Vinny Jacobs Aug. 24 MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19-1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Go Get Gone Aug. 22 & 23 PIZZALLEY’S CHIANTI ROOM, 60 Charlotte St., 825-4100 Billy Bowers 4 p.m. Aug. 26 SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 ASG, Didges Christ Superdrum, Paradigm Aug. 21 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Red River Band at 9 p.m. Aug. 22 & 23. Matanzas every Sun.-Thur. Elizabeth Roth at 1 p.m. every Sat.

music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 VJ Didactic 9 p.m. Aug. 21. VJ Fellin 8 p.m., Take Cover 9 p.m. Aug. 22 & 23. VJ Tr3mark 9 p.m. Aug. 24 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955 Whetherman Aug. 21. Cameron Jameyal Aug. 22. Wes Cobb Aug. 23 MY PLACE BAR & GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows, 737-5299 Aaron Sheeks Aug. 20. Dirty Pete Aug. 21. Don’t Call Me Shirley Aug. 22. Roger That Aug. 23 WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley Aug. 20. Kurt Lanham, X-Hale Aug. 22 WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Jim Perkins Aug. 21. 3 the Band Aug. 22. Who Rescued Who Aug. 23 WXYZ BAR, Aloft Hotel, 4812 Deer Lake Dr. W., 998-4448 The Crazy Daysies Aug. 21

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

SANDOLLAR, 9716 Heckscher Dr., 251-2449 Larry & the Backtracks Aug. 22 THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Chasing Jonah Aug. 23

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Chappo, Stardeath, White Dwarfs Aug. 21. Primer 55, Generator, Primitive Hard Drive, Sylent Vylentz, Tribe of Truth Aug. 22. Fjord Explorer, John Carver Band, Katie Grace Helow Aug. 23 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Sarah Mac Band 7:30 p.m. Aug. 21

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

AQUA NIGHTCLUB & LOUNGE, 11000 Beach Blvd., Ste. 21, 334-2122 Yo Gotti 6:30 p.m. Aug. 23 COMEDY CLUB, 11000 Beach Blvd., Ste. 8, 646-4277 Fascinating Rhythm Orchestra 7 p.m. 1st & 3rd Wed. COPPER TAP HOUSE, 13500 Beach Blvd., 647-6595 Live

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 Blistur Aug. 20. Fratello Aug. 22. Don’t Call Me Shirley Aug. 23. DJ Big Rob every Thur., Sun. & Tue. YOUR PLACE, 13245 Atlantic, 221-9994 Clayton Bush Aug. 20

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 8803040 Retro Kats Aug. 24. Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed. World’s Most Talented Waitstaff 9 p.m. every Fri.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Cupid’s Alley 10 p.m. Aug. 22 & 23. DJ Corey B every Wed. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

PONTE VEDRA, PALM VALLEY

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Aaron Koerner Aug. 20. King Eddie & Pili Pili Aug. 22. Catoe White Aug. 23. Gary Amonette 3 p.m. Aug. 24. Jason Ivey Aug. 28 TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515 DiCarlo Thompson Aug. 20. Gary Starling Jazz Band 7:30 p.m. Aug. 21. Sovereign

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

VOTE

THE RULES

• Vote online at folioweekly.com • One ballot per person • Ballots must contain at least 30 legitimate responses in order to be counted • Survey will time out if unattended for longer than 40 minutes • Please keep your answers LOCAL • Poll closes at 5:30 p.m. Friday, Aug. 22

FOLIO WEEKLY’S

23RD ANNUAL

WINNERS PUBLISHED Oct. 9 • Oct. 16 • folioweekly.com

READERS POLL @

Encourage your friends and customers to vote by sharing the poll on Facebook and Twitter or by using the email prompt on the final page of the survey

FOLIOWEEKLY.COM

Thanks for reading Folio Weekly!

NEWS & MEDIA

❑ Best Local Volunteer Effort

❑ Best Concert of 2014

❑ Best Plastic Surgeon

❑ Local Hero

❑ Best Local Columnist Worst Local Columnist

❑ Best Dance Studio

❑ Best Day Spa

❑ Best Gallery

❑ Best Nurse or Physician’s Assistant

❑ Best Local

❑ Best Local Wacko

Environmental Abomination

❑ Best Gay/Lesbian Club

❑ Best Thing to Happen to

❑ Best Local

❑ Best Gentlemen’s Club

Environmental Activist

❑ Worst Thing to Happen to

❑ Best Local Radio

❑ Best Karaoke Place

Northeast Florida in 2014

Personality

❑ Best Movie Theater

❑ Best Reason to

❑ Best Local Radio Show

❑ Best New Club

❑ Best Local Radio Station

❑ Best Open Mic Night

❑ Best Local TV

❑ Best Outdoor Festival

❑ Best Reason to

Hate Northeast Florida

Morning Show

❑ Hottest Local Celebrity

❑ Best Speed Trap

❑ Best Local Nonprofit ❑ Best Local Trend

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT/ SPORTS & OUTDOORS ❑ Best Community

❑ Best Local

Theater Group

Righteous Crusader

❑ Best Theater

❑ Best Local Scandal ❑ Best Local Teacher ❑ Best Local College

of Public Money of Public Money

❑ Best Local Facebook Page

❑ Best Local Twitter Account ❑ Best Local

❑ Best Fishing Spot

❑ Best Art Walk

❑ Best Place for People-Watching

❑ Best Local Sports Radio

Personalities

❑ Best Local News Website ❑ Best Local

❑ Best Local

TV Weather Forecaster ❑ Best Local

TV Sports Anchor ❑ Best Local TV Newscast

❑ Best Mediterranean

❑ Best Health Food Store

❑ Best Restaurant to Impress a Date

❑ Best Sub

❑ Best Hookah Lounge

❑ Best Slow Food Restaurant

❑ Best E-Cigs/Vapor Shop

❑ Best Restaurant When

❑ Best Health Club/Gym

❑ Best Hospital

❑ Best Lawyer

❑ Best Mexican Restaurant

❑ Best Thai Restaurant

❑ Best Place to Buy a Car

❑ Best Chef

❑ Best Vegan or

❑ Best Staycation

❑ Best Server

Pop/Indie Band

❑ Best All You Can Eat

❑ Best Athlete in

❑ Best Vintage Store

❑ Best Breakfast

❑ Best Record Store

❑ Best Brunch

❑ Best Farmers Market

❑ Best Burger in Jacksonville

❑ Best Surf Shop

❑ Best Burger on Amelia Island

❑ Best Golf Course ❑ Best Park

❑ Best Place to

Canoe or Kayak

SHOPPING / HEALTH & BEAUTY

❑ Best B&B in Jacksonville

❑ Best Pizza in St. Augustine

❑ Best Tapas

❑ Best Barbecue

❑ Best Place to

Fleming Island

❑ Best Steak

❑ Best Dive Shop

❑ Best Community Garden

❑ Best Pizza in Orange Park/

❑ Best Liquor Store

❑ Best Place to Stay Cool

❑ Best Comedy Club

❑ Best Pizza in Jacksonville

❑ Best Smoothie

❑ Best Bakery

❑ Best Campsite

Restaurant

When You’re Paying

❑ Best Wine Store

❑ Best Local Comedian

Restaurant

❑ Best Jewelry Store

❑ Best Bagel

❑ Best Bowling Alley

❑ Best Local Rock/

❑ Best Restaurant

❑ Best Veterinarian

❑ Best Local Author

❑ Best New Local Musician/Band

Someone Else is Paying

❑ Best Soup

❑ Best Local TV Anchor

❑ Best Restaurant in St. Augustine

❑ Best Hairstylist

❑ Best Tattoo Studio

Northeast Florida

❑ Best Country/ Americana Band

Investigative Reporter

❑ Best Middle Eastern

❑ Best Skate Shop

❑ Best Local Actor/Actress

Attend a Concert

Instagram Account

❑ Best Surf Spot

❑ Best Museum

❑ Best Local Blog

❑ Best Place to Bike

❑ Best View

❑ Best Local Artist

❑ Best Local Waste

❑ Best Drag Show Act

Production in 2014

❑ Best Art Exhibit of 2014

❑ Best Local Use

❑ Best Live Music Club

❑ Best Beach

❑ Best Restaurant in Orange Park/Fleming Island

❑ Best Hair Salon

M A P L

❑ Best Local Neighborhood

❑ Best Trivia Night

❑ Best Indian Restaurant ❑ Best Italian Restaurant

Love Northeast Florida

❑ Best Hot Dog

in Jacksonville

Northeast Florida in 2014

❑ Best Restaurant

❑ Local Zero

❑ Best Restaurant on Amelia Island

❑ Best Yoga Studio

❑ Best Burger in

Vegetarian Restaurant

❑ Best Neighborhood

Bar on Amelia Island

❑ Best Neighborhood

Bar in Jacksonville

❑ Best Neighborhood Bar in

Orange Park/Fleming Island

❑ Best Neighborhood

Bar in St. Augustine

❑ Best Bar Food ❑ Best Bar for

Morning Drinking

❑ Best Dive Bar ❑ Best Beer Selection

❑ Best Bookstore

Orange Park/Fleming Island

❑ Best Late Night Spot

DINING & DRINKING OUT

❑ Best Burger in St. Augustine

❑ Best Happy Hour

❑ Best Bartender

❑ Best Burrito

❑ Best Seafood

❑ Best Caribbean Restaurant

❑ Best Coffeehouse

❑ Best Chicken Wings

❑ Best Local Rapper

❑ Best B&B on Amelia Island

❑ Best New Restaurant

❑ Best Chinese Restaurant

❑ Best Local Metal Band

❑ Best B&B in St. Augustine

❑ Best Pizza on Amelia Island

❑ Best Deli

❑ Best Local Punk Band

❑ Best Bike Shop

❑ Best Japanese Restaurant

❑ Best Dessert

❑ Best DJ

❑ Best Clothing Store

❑ Best Sushi

❑ Best Food Truck

❑ Best Dance Club

❑ Best Doctor

❑ Best Microbrewery

❑ Best Frozen Yogurt

❑ Best Margarita ❑ Best Bar for Craft Cocktails ❑ Best Martini ❑ Best Pub ❑ Best Sports Bar ❑ Best Wine List

ONLINE VOTING ONLY AT FOLIOWEEKLY.CO OM • DEADLINE IS 5:30 P.M. FRIDAY, AUG. 22 20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 13-19, 2014

AUGUST 13-19, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

THE KNIFE

EMBRACING THE MISANTHROPY

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

ack in the late ’90s and early 2000s, my original band became known around town for staging odd and unexpected events during our performances. For most of the weirdness, my band members were fully aware and participated in the “performance art.” We would often act out band-ending arguments on stage, play songs in slow motion, or walk out of the club during the set (which left one club owner slack-jawed). But for one show in the fall of 2003, I decided to trick both the audience and the band at once. I hired a guy to enter the venue acting like a belligerent homeless man and cause a scene, threatening the band and disrupting the show. The only person in the club I hipped to the ruse was a bouncer; I instructed him to keep everyone from getting injured, but to allow things to otherwise play themselves out. Some time during our set, my “homeless” friend came in, looking disheveled and disoriented, and began screaming obscenities at us, saying we were the spawn of the devil and calling the female members of the band “whores.” I pretended to defend us, but he hopped up on stage, commandeered the mic and proceeded to berate us for our sins and further degrade the women in the band (including my wife). The audience didn’t know what to do, but my bass player and a friend from the crowd leaped forth and pulled him from the stage, throwing him onto the sidewalk in front of the club. Were it not for the bassist, our mutual friend may very well have beaten the ever-living hell out of the poor guy. That poor guy was Troy Lukkarila. If you don’t know Troy Lukkarila, you should. By day, he’s a mild-mannered, softspoken Jacksonville intellectual who loves animals and works a humble 9-5. By night — and, OK, sometimes during the day, too — he runs LukaLips Destruction Company (lukalips.com), a website dedicated to the most perverse homemade films, art and music a person could get away with without getting arrested. (View the site at your own peril.) The focus of this piece, however, is Lukkarila’s second record, Don’t Sit on Tables, released in 1999. The demented acoustic songwriter has released two other, equally disturbing records: his debut ’98 album Every Day is Garbage Day and 2005’s Unsafe Structure. The beauty of Lukkarila’s music, especially that featured on Don’t Sit on Tables,

is its nonthreatening acoustic format. It’s deceptively simple and, thus, very effective. The lyrics, on the other hand, offer a psychotic trip through black, obsessive necrophilic misanthropy. Opening track “Compulsion” documents the dating woes of a hand-washing loner. “20 Bucks” is a miserable finger-snapping number about a 16-year-old’s sexual awakening at the hands of a nasty 50-year-old hooker in the sleaziest part of town. “Road Trip,” possibly the most disturbing tune on the record, tells of date rape and subsequent vehicular manslaughter. There’s more: “Love Is … Love Will” hinges on the lyric, “Love will fly over any border, and love will beat any restraining order. Love is more potent than any can of mace, and love will conquer your fingernails in my face.” “Confessions of a Necrophiliac” lists the benefits of dating dead women, of which, apparently, there are many. “Warning” is just creepy as hell, while “Why Can’t I Get a Gig?” captures what it’s like for Lukkarila at any number of his live performances, him insulting the audience and then getting booed off by the angry mob. Don’t Sit on Tables features a host of local musicians — Mark Creegan, David Lauderdale, Craig Spirko, Roy Peak and Joe Flowers, among others — who may or may not have realized what they were getting into. Some have regained their reputations since. And the music herein is actually quite beautiful, some melodic and joyous, some dark and depressing, but all well written and performed. It really is worth revisiting — or hearing for the first time, if you’re a Lukkarila newcomer. It’s funny to me that many extreme metal bands do their best to write the most offensive lyrics possible — about murder and rape and the apocalypse — and they don’t come close to the darkness our dear Lukkarila musters on this record. Don’t Sit on Tables remains a favorite album of mine, so sick and filthy and wrong that after listening, you will be washing your hands — and body — as obsessively as the anti-hero in “Compulsion.” John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com

Songs from Don’t Sit on Tables can be streamed at lukalips.com.

A&E // MOVIES

A WIBBLY-WOBBLY PRIMER FOR THE NEW DOCTOR WHO

The iconic, long-running sci-fi series returns to BBC America (and local theaters) with a new Doctor. We’re here to help you prepare

elcome to the Class of the Twelfth Doctor. After nearly a year-long gap, Doctor Who returns to BBC America this week, and five theaters in Northeast Florida are screening the Season 8 (counting from the 2005 revival) premiere, “Deep Breath.” This series of minimicro-lightning-flash courses will prepare you with the baseline knowledge needed to hit the ground running with Peter Capaldi, the new face (and “attack eyebrows”) of The Doctor. Don’t blink. It goes by fast.

WHO 101: Introduction to the Doctor Depending on whether you’re his ally or enemy, The Doctor is the most wonderful or the most dangerous being in our entire universe (and a few alternative ones). He is a few thousand years old (calculations vary depending on what you consider canon) and has a soft spot for humanity. The Doctor is a Time Lord, an ancient race of time travelers and time manipulators from the planet Gallifrey. He has two hearts, and the ability to shed one body for a new one through a process called regeneration. It’s a fairly elegant plot construction that enables new actors to take on the role.

WHO 102: Modern History of Doctor Who

Doctor Who premiered on Nov. 23, 1963, and over the next 25 years, seven actors played the lead, each with his own style and plot arc. In 1989, with the exception of a 1996 TV movie, the show went off the air until 2005, when the BBC rebooted the series. We’re now in Season 8 of the newer set, with Capaldi taking over as the Twelfth Doctor. A fan since he was a child, the actor has already had two roles in the Doctor Who universe: as an ancient Pompeiian and as Britain’s top alien negotiator. At the end of the last episode, the Eleventh Doctor dramatically regenerates after defending a town called Christmas on the planet Tranzalore. Capaldi’s Doctor bends over in pain because of his new kidneys (“I don’t like the color,” he says) and seems to have forgotten how to pilot the now-spiraling time machine. Meanwhile, his companion, Clara, stands by wide-eyed and spooked (seemingly at just how old his new face is).

WHO 103: Time Lord Technology

The Doctor lives and travels across time and space in his time machine, the TARDIS (“Time and Relative Dimension in Space”). On the outside, it’s an old-fashioned blue British police phone box, but thanks to Time Lord science, it’s bigger on the inside. Much, much bigger: libraries, living spaces, pools, detention cells. The Doctor carries a sonic screwdriver, which is basically a technological magic wand. Almost all of the science in Doctor Who is make-believe and often inconsistent within its own logic. It pays to absorb it as the poetic space-babble that it is.

WHO 104: Companions

The Doctor is currently traveling with Clara Oswald. For the purposes of Season 8, all you need to know is that Clara is a tutor/nanny-type from contemporary England who had a lot of sexual tension with the previous — and younger — Doctor. In episode 304, we get into the realityfracturing event that spread her spirit across time and space and earned her the title “The Impossible Girl.” “Deep Breath” also features a returning Victorian crime-fighting trio: Madame Vastra (a Silurian lizard-woman), Jenny Flint (her human wife) and Strax, an imbecilic Sontaran warrior-clone-turned-indentured-servant.

WHO 105: Whovian Grammar

Doctor Who fans are known as “Whovians.” You may also use the term “Whoniverse” to describe everything that happens within the show. Doctor Who is not a name, but a question. The show’s protagonist introduces himself as simply “The Doctor,” to which the response is always “Doctor Who?” As a BBC television programme, Doctor Who usually adheres to British usage, but this time the new Doctor has a Scottish accent, so I dinnae ken. Dave Maass mail@folioweekly.com

DR. WHO

Rated PG-13 Premieres 8 p.m. Aug. 23 on BBC America. Screens 7 and 9:30 p.m. Aug. 25 at Cinemark Tinseltown, Regal Avenues, AMC Regency, Regal River City Marketplace and Regal Beach Boulevard.

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

A&E // MOVIES

LIFE, LOVE AND A JUVENILE FANTASY

Targeting tweens, ‘If I Stay’ is little more than labored melodrama

York City and far away from Adam. We also f I Stay is a movie that’s targeted to easily meet her kind, hippie parents Kat (Mireille manipulated tweens who are too young Enos) and Denny (Joshua Leonard), little to know what love is and too stubborn to brother Teddy (Jakob Davies), Gramps (Stacy realize they don’t know. Not for a second does Keach) and Gran (Gabrielle Rose), her best this film feel anything but pandering and friend Kim (Liana Liberato), and more of contrived, which means not for a second can the friends and family who love and support it be taken seriously. Mia. As tragedy befalls her family, Mia’s spirit Based on the young adult novel of the wonders if she has anything to wake up and same name by Gayle Forman, the story is a somber conceit: A happy family is in a horrific live for. Cutler’s simple, matter-of-fact approach car accident, and the daughter Mia (Chloë Grace Moretz), a 17-year-old cello prodigy, does little to enhance the story. This is a movie has an out-of-body experience while she’s that begs for visual pop during its upbeat in a coma. Which is moments, but these to say, Mia in ghost scenes are shot in IF I STAY form walks around the same bland style **@@ the hospital and other used for the dreary, Rated PG-13 • Opens Aug. 22 locales as she reflects antiseptic hospital. on important moments The happy moments and people in her life, all the while trying to need to be happier so we can truly empathize make a decision whether to live or die. with Mia’s life and want her to live. When Most of director R.J. Cutler’s (The everything is this dull, it’s hard to give a damn September Issue) new film comprises these either way. flashbacks, and most of the flashbacks involve I have no idea how accurate the story is Mia’s boyfriend Adam (Jamie Blackley). Adam to Forman’s book, but I kept thinking how is too perfect for mere words — a handsome much more interesting it would’ve been to aspiring musician who takes an instant liking flash forward — i.e., to see Mia’s future with to Mia and makes all the moves to bring Adam and future at Juilliard and then have them together. This is how many young girls her decide which would make her happier. fantasize about relationships beginning: They That way, the story would go from being about go about their normal business while the guy boyfriend drama to two different versions of of their dreams does all the work to sweep happiness — personal and professional — and them off their feet. Newsflash: This only seeing which Mia truly desires more. happens in movies. But that’s not the movie Cutler made. Storywise, however, this is OK because Instead, If I Stay is a labored melodrama that the flashbacks are from Mia’s point of view, so does have some decent emotional sequences we’re seeing the events the way she idyllically and a better ending than it deserves, but it remembers them. We watch as Mia reluctantly ultimately doesn’t hold together. applies to Juilliard, knowing acceptance will Dan Hudak take her from her home in Portland to New mail@folioweekly.com

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

A&E // MOVIES

MAGIC LANTERNS

BLOOD FOR ART

I missed The Monuments Men during its earlier theatrical run; I just saw it on DVD. The trailers for George Clooney’s World War II film had been promising, but the result was disappointing — and not just for me, according to the middling box-office and mixed reviews. Good production values and a likable cast couldn’t mask the major flaw: a patchwork script that ended up stranding its characters in uneven segments — some good, some not. The subject matter — the search for art stolen by the Nazis — reminded me of an earlier movie I hadn’t seen in a while that, when I watched it again, was a far better film. John Frankenheimer’s The Train (1964) details the efforts of ruthless Nazi Colonel Von Waldheim (Paul Scofield) to move a stolen cache of art treasures from Paris before the Allies retake the city. He commandeers a train to Germany, forcing Resistance fighters, led by an initially reluctant Burt Lancaster, to somehow stop him without destroying the legacy he’s trying to confiscate. The cost in human lives mounts, underlining the basic conflict: Is even one piece of art worth a man’s life? The Monuments Men concludes with an uplifting assurance of the value of that sacrifice. The ending of The Train, while still heroic, is bleaker and more complex, as Lancaster’s gritty Everyman faces off against Scofield’s urbane, disdainful Nazi. Between them lie the bodies of slaughtered hostages and carefully boxed masterpieces. It is an unforgettable conclusion with answers and images far less reassuring than those of the later film. Filmed in black-and-white, The Train looks of a piece with those events it details. Most viewers in 1964 would have remembered newsreels of the war less than 20 years earlier. Lancaster and his French co-stars, including Jeanne Moreau, are strikingly unglamorous, while the distinguished stage actor Paul Scofield, in only his second film role and two years from his Oscar-winning turn in A Man for All Seasons, is the embodiment of Nazism, with its contempt for everyone and everything that did not conform to the ideals of the Twisted Cross. The Train opens with a dialogue between Von Waldheim and Mlle Villard, curator of the looted museum (and the fictional counterpart of Rose Valland, whose book The Art Front: Defence of the Art Front, 1939-1945 provided the basis for the film). The same real-life woman was also the prototype of Cate Blanchett’s fictional character in Monuments, which was based on another book altogether. Both films play loosely with the facts without ever sacrificing the real canvas upon which the actual events and characters were traced. Such is the domain of cinematic art. Curiously, eight years after The Train, Lancaster played an American commander forced to choose between saving art and killing Nazis during the Battle of the Bulge. The superb film, possibly even better than The Train, is Sydney Pollack’s genre-bending Castle Keep (1969). Based on a novel rather than history, the movie is one-of-a-kind, a war film that’s part-comedy, part-fable and totally memorable. Somewhat lost in the shuffle during its theatrical release, Castle Keep plays even better today, and the questions it raises are as viable as ever. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

FILM RATINGS **** DEAD POETS SOCIETY ***@ GOOD WILL HUNTING **@@ PATCH ADAMS *@@@ NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM

SCREENING AROUND TOWN SUMMER MOVIE CLASSICS “People will come, Ray. People will most definitely come.” Terence Mann means, of course, if Ray Kinsella builds a baseball field on his farm, his dad John Kinsella will come visit. Except John is dead ... The annual series continues with the 25th anniversary of Field of Dreams, starring Kevin Costner, James Earl Jones, Ray Liotta as the best-looking ghost we’ve ever seen, Amy Madigan and Gaby Hoffman, now on Girls. Experience heaven in Iowa again at 2 p.m. on Aug. 24 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $7.50, 355-2787, floridatheatre.com. SUN-RAY CINEMA Guardians of the Galaxy and Boyhood continue, running through Aug. 28, at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. The Twin Peaks Marathon starts (with the pilot, of course) at 8 p.m. on Aug. 22, followed by all 29 episodes, ending about 10 p.m. on Aug. 23; $10; proceeds benefit Hubbard House. Ghostbusters starts Aug. 28. Frank, Land Ho! and Life After Beth start Aug. 29. LATITUDE 360 MOVIES The Amazing Spider-Man 2, X-Men: Days of Future Past, and How to Train Your Dragon 2 are currently screening at Latitude 360’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555. WGHF IMAX THEATER Guardians of the Galaxy, Island of Lemurs: Madagascar 3D, D-Day: Normandy 1944, Journey to the South Pacific: An IMAX 3D Experience and Great White Shark 3D are currently screening at World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax. com. Forrest Gump starts Sept. 5.

NOW SHOWING AND SO IT GOES *G@@ Rated PG-13 Oren Little (Michael Douglas) – a veteran realtor in coastal Connecticut – looks like a big old a-hole to the residents in one of the small apartment complexes he owns, which is also where he’s living while trying to sell his house. Among those residents is Leah (Diane Keaton), herself recently widowed and still prone to bursting into tears singing standards at a local restaurant. All she sees in Oren is a guy who seems incapable of dealing with his son, Luke (Scott Shepherd), a recovering addict about to serve a short jail sentence. And Leah thinks even worse of Oren when he seems completely incapable – or at least unwilling – to take care of Luke’s 10-year-old daughter Sarah (Sterling Jerins) while Luke does his time. — Scott Renshaw ANJAAN Not Rated This action/drama/romance stars Suriya (Wow. Seriously, google him. Hubba hubba), Samantha Ruth Prabhu and Vidyut Jamwal. In Telugu and Tamil. ARE YOU HERE Rated R • Opens Aug. 22 A new film written and directed by Matthew Weiner (Mad Men) affords us all an opportunity to address the

SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR: This follow-up to 2005’s blockbuster (mostly) black-and-white comic film picks up where its pulp-noir predecessor left off. burning issue of our day: Just who came up with the term “midseason finale” anyway, and which methods of lethal injection can we still use on him and/or her? Stuck in the middle of an AMC-decreed hiatus, we have to get our Weiner fix through this comedy about a TV weatherman (Owen Wilson) and his author buddy (Zach Galifinakis). When it premiered last year to what the L.A. Times gingerly called a “muted response,” the film was called You Are Here; if it’s a hit in full release, we’ll know that America wants its films to sound like dropped calls, not mall directories. It’s the little things, right? — Steve Schneider BEGIN AGAIN Rated R Mark Ruffalo needs a nice bowl of chicken soup and a bubble bath – he’s always singing the blues about some personal upheaval or another. Here he’s Dan, a washed-up music producer who sees a young woman (Keira Knightley) croon into a mic and thinks he’s discovered the next Joan Baez … oh, c’mon, you know … that folkie/Beat chick Dylan used to shtupp. OK, … the next Zooey Deschanel. — Marlene Dryden BOYHOOD ***@ Rated R Director Richard Linklater, in a single film, has upstaged filmmakers who have tried to capture the passage of time and the aging of actors. Linklater simply watched and waited – and filmed – over a span of 12 years. Boyhood, a film focused on the life of a seemingly average boy, was cast when the boy (played by Ellar Coltrane) was just 6 years old. Linklater also cast his own young daughter, Lorelei, as the boy’s older sister, and Patricia Arquette as the boy’s mother. The boy’s father is played by Ethan Hawke, an actor who collaborated with Linklater on the Before series, another project involving the passing of real time. The trilogy (Before Sunrise, Before Sunset and Before Midnight) started filming in the early ’90s and focused on the development of a couple’s relationship over the course of two decades. Like Boyhood, its stars actually age in real time; the films are set nine years apart. Now Linklater has compressed real time into a single film. He captures the maturation of his screenplay’s characters, and the real aging of real people, creating a fascinating film and, at the same time, conducting a unique and noble experiment – even crossing the line from fiction into unintended documentary. This film’s concept may be great, but the finished product falls short of greatness. — Cameron Meier

CALVARY Rated R Reteaming with Brendan Gleeson, the star of his 2011 comedy The Guard, writer-director John Michael McDonagh portrays the drama that unfolds after a priest is threatened during confession. With a screening two days before opening, we can’t tell you exactly what kind of drama, but it’s probably similar to what Sean Hannity dreams of doing to the Pope. Costars Chris O’Dowd and Kelly Reilly. — S.S. DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES Rated PG-13 For a while there, it looked as if Jonah Hill was going to be this summer’s winner of Saying Stupid Shit In Public. But then Gary Oldman unloaded to Playboy about the unendurable oppression of being unable to call a fag a fag and a Jew a Jew, and we had a new front-runner in the Emergency Hairshirt Olympics – and an answer to the question “What could possibly keep a Rob Ford apology off the front page?” Meanwhile, the apology I want to hear from Oldman is for mentioning David Bowie in the same breath as Charles Flippin’ Krauthammer when the question was “Who speaks the truth in this culture, in your opinion?” Fox is hoping all the fags and Jews out there are sufficiently swayed by Oldman’s penance that they’ll still go see the second installment in their grand quest to reboot aspects of the original Apes franchise nobody gave an especial shit about. Here, Oldman is in a band of human relics trying to stay alive in a world ruled by filthy primates. Geez, what would a Krauthammer reader know about that? — S.S. ENTERTAINMENT Not Rated The newest Bollywood comedy film costars Mithun Chakraborty, Johnny Lever, Prakash Raj, Sonu Sood and Krushna. In Hindi. THE EXPENDABLES 3 Rated PG-13 You know exactly what sort of demographic a movie is going for when it augments its regular cast of geriatric mercs with a “new generation of badasses” that includes Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Kelsey Grammer, Wesley Snipes and Antonio Banderas. Hey, some of those guys didn’t even have their AARP card when Clinton was president! Not that they’d want to remember those years anyway, since the Expendables franchise continues to exist mostly to provide steady employment for the right-wing pariahs who can’t get work anywhere else in Hollywood – if you believe Gary

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

A&E // MOVIES

Oldman. (Do not believe Gary Oldman – Ed.) Come to think of it, Oldman would make a great addition to the cast next time, along with Gary Sinise, John Malkovich and every other poor, persecuted Rethug you hear from regularly, mostly in interviews where they’re complaining that you never hear from them. Expendables 4: War on Christmas, arriving just in time for Ramadan. — S.S. GET ON UP Rated PG-13 If Hollywood believes two things, it’s that black folks don’t go to comic-book movies and white folks don’t go to movies about black folks. All of which explains why this James Brown biopic is the sacrificial lamb that’s been scheduled against Disney/Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy. In real life, it’s going to be my white music-snob friends filling in my black nerd buddies as to how well Chadwick Boseman did as the King of Soul, and if they should give this flick a look when it’s on Starz four months from now. Heck, we might even invite them over to watch it – especially if Charlie Crist wins and we get to feeling really liberal! — S.S. THE GIVER Rated PG-13 Here’s one to dither over on Throwback Thursday: Plans to turn the dystopian YA hit The Giver into a movie were first hatched way back in 1994. Not only did half the Expendables still have a sperm count back then, but Richard Linklater had just begun to grow Ellar Coltrane in a petri dish! Now the wait is over, and we can see what kind of work Walden Media has done in adapting Lois Lowry’s oh-so-subtle tale of a conformist society living under the edict of “The Sameness.” Personally, I thought the kids in The Wackness seemed to be having a better time, but I question how committed to “youth concerns” this movie is anyway, since lead character Jonas was 12 in the book but is played onscreen by 25-year-old Brenton Thwaites. Then

again, everybody in the source novel of Logan’s Run died at 21 instead of 30, and Michael York gotta eat. — S.S. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Rated PG-13 As I write this, the San Diego Comic-Con is just getting under way, and I’m bracing myself for all sorts of P.R. fog about the future of comics on film, and how DC Entertainment is going to start giving Marvel Studios a run for its money any minute now. So as a reality check, let me just point this out: “Winning” is when you can wring the most anticipated movie of the summer out of a property so obscure even the editors of The Comic Book Price Guide have to look it up. By Christmas, Rocket Raccoon may be firmly entrenched as a star of the Disney-acquisition firmament, making “possible Star Wars crossover” the hot ridiculous rumor du jour. Meanwhile, DC’s entire release slate for the next five years will have shifted three more times, just because Olaf the Snowman blew on it really hard. God, how I love a photo finish. — S.S. HERCULES Rated PG-13 Having douche auteur Brett Ratner direct Dwayne Johnson is the kind of collaboration cineplex hecklers dream of. Better still, their take on the Hercules myth (excuse me, I mean “graphic novel”) jumps on the grim-’n’-gritty bandwagon by promising no supernatural story elements will be included – just the emotional turmoil of a strongman well past his prime, reduced to profiting off his inspiring past. Fun fact: When Hercules completed his 12 labors, he was “dead broke.” — S.S. THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY Rated PG Boy, there’s nobody better equipped to capitalize on the

FIELD OF DREAMS: If you build it, they will come to this screening of the classic baseball movie at The Florida Theatre as part of its Summer Movie Classics series. 26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

A&E // MOVIES

foodie phenomenon than Lasse Hallstrom, who has for decades been championing the feasibility of solving all of life’s conflicts by shoving stuff in your mouth. (From Chocolat to What’s Eating Gilbert Grape to The Cider House Rules to Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, the guy can’t even make a picture without mentioning food in the title. Talk about obsessed!) In Hallstrom’s latest, restaurateur Helen Mirren’s hostility toward a new rival (the great actor Om Puri) is overcome by the power of his entrees, which are just too damn good for anybody to remember what they were supposed to be fighting about. Fun related fact: In real life, obesity causes 300,000 deaths per year. — S.S. IF I STAY **@@ Rated PG-13 • Opens Aug. 22 Reviewed in this issue. INTO THE STORM Rated PG-13 If it’s 2014, it must be time for an ersatz Twister reboot, with another bunch of crazy storm chasers boldly venturing straight into the thick of one of nature’s little shit Slurpees. If this thing becomes a hit, maybe Universal Studios can just slap a new logo on their Twister attraction instead of gutting it to make room for that Dance Moms Experience show I’ve been betting on for two years running now. Fun fact deux: The director of Into the Storm, Steven Quale, co-helmed Aliens of the Deep, another of James Can’tQuite-Get-Past-Titanic Cameron’s deep-sea docs. Oh, how I love Ouroboros Week. — S.S. LET’S BE COPS Rated R The action-comedy co-stars Jake Johnson (New Girl) and Damon Wayans Jr., who inherited his dad’s good looks and, we hope, comedic talents. They’re pals Ryan and Justin, who are going to a costume party dressed up as cops, with all the shiny gear cops like to have hanging off their highly polished Sam Browne belts. The outfits must be authentic-looking, because the two slackers are taken for real flatfoots and the hilarity ensues. — M.D. LUCY **** Rated R Scarlett Johansson stars as Lucy, a very pretty, party-ready American girl, whose trip to China is cut short after she hooks up with the wrong guy. This nutty film is what a comic book movie would be like if it didn’t have to follow the constraints of neatly establishing lucrative future franchises or following any “rules” of the genre. After a dialogue-heavy opening, with a conversation establishing the film’s setting and Lucy’s scary predicament, it’s off and running, hurtling from one bizarre scenario to another. As Lucy’s journey becomes increasingly dire, writer and director Luc Besson begins inserting footage of wild animals, nature and bits of Morgan Freeman’s Professor Norman lecturing on the possibilities of the human mind. It may be trashy and absurd but make no mistake, Lucy is fearless. — Barry Wurst II MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT **G@ Rated PG-13 Woody Allen has problems with pace and personality. Not his personality (though if you read Mia Farrow’s rants, you might disagree), but his characters’ personalities. He’s too often relied on a good story while suffering from a tired tempo, mediocre directing and miscast leads. It’s almost as if Allen has fallen in love with the idea of working with certain actors, such as Scarlett Johansson, Owen Wilson and Penelope Cruz, without considering whether those performers – talented though some may be – are right for the task at hand. His newest go-to girl is Emma Stone, who is luminous in Magic but still not quite right for the

role. Stone plays Sophie, a young psychic in the 1920s who may actually be nothing more than a con artist who, with the help of her mother (an underused Marcia Gay Harden), is attempting to swindle wealthy families on the French Riviera by staging fake séances. Skeptical of Sophie’s intentions, one family seeks the help of Howard Burkan (Simon McBurney), a well-known magician and debunker of fake mediums. But when Howard can’t figure out Sophie’s schemes, he turns to his friend Stanley (Colin Firth), a no-nonsense type who exposes charlatans. He applies that philosophy to every aspect of his life, down to his relationship with his fiancée (Catherine McCormack), whom he seems to love mostly because it’s the logical thing to do. It’s no surprise then – this is a Woody Allen romantic comedy, after all – that his world is upended by the unexpected allure of Sophie, who proves his equal on the battlegrounds of both intellect and love. — C.M. MARDAANI Not Rated The crime drama stars Rani Mukerji, Jisshu Sengupta and Tahir Bhasin. About a female cop up against human trafficking, it’s a bit different from the usual Bollywood movies. In Hindi. A MOST WANTED MAN ***G Rated R A starring role in this espionage thriller is a fitting farewell for the great actor Philip Seymour Hoffman, who died last February. Directed by Anton Corbijn, who successfully helmed The American with George Clooney, and adapted from the novel by John le Carré, A Most Wanted Man is a smart, gripping thriller that carefully navigates its way through subtle twists and delicious ambiguity. Hoffman plays Günther Bachmann, a German espionage agent at odds with his superiors and American counterpart Martha Sullivan (Robin Wright) over how to track down a highprofile Muslim terrorist. They want to hammer every threat into the ground while Günther prefers to watch, wait and seek the cooperation of lesser offenders. His anti-Bush philosophy is to seek out a “minnow to catch a barracuda to catch a shark,” but that proves difficult, especially in Hamburg, where Mohammed Atta planned his evil. Wright, channeling the charm and ruthlessness of her House of Cards character, is a fine foil to Hoffman. Willem Dafoe, as bank manager Tom Brue, who’s unwittingly caught in the middle of terrorist activities, also shines. Only Rachel McAdams, as human-rights lawyer Annabel Richter, seems miscast, a lightweight instead of the required rock. (Jessica Chastain must have been busy.) Her shortcomings are even more obvious when she’s up against Hoffman, who, though not given much to do dramatically, is riveting, even with a German accent, which the film employs instead of the German language itself. — C.M. PLANES: FIRE & RESCUE Rated PG In a summer this shitty, even a sequel to a Disney flick that almost didn’t get a theatrical release can now get a theatrical release. This time, airborne racing legend Dusty has to deal with the realization that structural infirmities are sounding the death-knell for his career, forcing him to explore a more altruistic way of spending his time. A quarter-century ago, that would have been my cue to crack wise about A Million Points of Light Planes; instead, I’m just gonna call this one a movie about transitioning and let the chips fall where they may. — S.S. THE PURGE: ANARCHY Rated R Did you know the Eagles’ track “In the City” began as a Joe Walsh tune that played over the closing credits of The Warriors? I mention this because talking about The Warriors is way less depressing than contemplating this movie, a similarly themed gotta-make-it-home exploitation flick way

MARDAANI: Victims of child trafficking have a new hero when a female Mumbai police senior inspector makes it her mission to save them.

too close on the heels of 2013’s surprisingly solid classwarfare sleeper, The Purge. Trailer-park droogies, trailerpark droogies, come out to play – preferably once a year, so Universal can Saw the crap out of this thing. — S.S. SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR Rated R • Opens Aug. 22 Rumors that Frank Miller was going to dump co-director Robert Rodriguez so he could helm this prequel/sequel all by his lonesome died down around – oh, let’s say the exact day The Spirit came out. Other fun stuff you should know: Angelina Jolie was supposed to play the title role in Dame before it went to Eva Green; Josh Brolin has stepped into the part played by Clive Owen last time; and the movie’s title was changed from A Dame to Die For. Apparently, to modern focus groups, murder is OK but suicide is a no-no. And mall directories still suck. — S.S. STEP UP ALL IN Rated PG-13 The fourth installment is an “all-star” edition that brings past competitors together for a make-or-break dance-off in Vegas. Since my experience with the “all-star” concept has been defined less by Major League Baseball and more by Project Runway, I hope somebody on the Step Up production team laid out for the biggest bus he could find, so the contestants have something nice and shiny under which they can throw one another when the time comes for them to advance. — S.S. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES Rated PG-13 OK, this is an honest-to-goodness reboot, with Michael Bay the man in charge of introducing the heroes in a half-shell to a new generation. Michael Bay for the Jim Henson Company? It isn’t my idea of a nifty trade, either. And Bay has brought in Megan Fox so she can play intrepid reporter April O’Neil – so much for our confidence that the abundant bad blood between the two of them would relegate them to polluting the cinematic gene pool separately and

individually. Honestly, watching this is like watching East and West Germany reunite. Or the Eagles. — S.S. WHAT IF Rated PG-13 The presence of Ol’ Ruby Sparks herself, Zoe Kazan, as the female lead is the hipster talking point here, and having her play opposite Daniel Radcliffe (aka The Ever-Expanding Wand of Harry Potter) is good for some mainstream ink. But the truly clued-in will be most enticed by the source material: Toothpaste and Cigars, a play co-written by mighty Fringe-circuit monologist TJ Dawe. While the play has toured Canada, it was never brought to Florida, which means that Dawe’s Sunshine-State acolytes essentially have a whole new work to dig into during the theatrical off-season. Seriously, it’s like Christmas for kids who get beat up a lot. — S.S. WHEN THE GAME STANDS TALL Rated PG … he sure makes Weezy look like a bitch when it comes to throwing three-pointers, nyuk nyuk! Actually, this new sports drama is about high school football, not hoops, and it stars Jesus-turned-Person-of-Interest Jim Caviezel as a real-life coach who took a California team to a recordwinning streak. Son of a bitch, I think I nodded off just typing that. — S.S. WISH I WAS HERE Rated R Why did it take Zach Braff a decade to follow up Garden State? Maybe because Cameron Crowe hasn’t shot anything worth ripping off since then, nyuk nyuk. Or ’cause Braff had to wait for Kickstarter to be invented. Whatever. All that matters is that we finally get to see his portrayal of an actor/husband/father at a personal crossroads. Oh, and Mandy Patinkin plays Braff’s father, which should make for a fun game of “Who Do I Want to Hit More?” — S.S.

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

A&E // ARTS

THE

URBAN GHOST WHISPERER Cal Oglesby is the realest artist in Northeast Florida (according to Cal Oglesby)

“Y

ou people are crazy for not having written a story on me. I’m the realest person on the scene.” This email, from local artist Cal Oglesby, ballsy and brief, has been burning a hole in Folio Weekly’s inbox since spring, and we took it as a challenge. Game on. But when we arranged a meeting with Oglesby in an abandoned bar in the middle of Downtown, we weren’t exactly sure what we were going to find. We initially met up with Oglesby at the space at 325 W. Forsyth St., where he was, until recently, squatting. (He now lives with his parents.) It’s gone by many names over the years, but perhaps the most notable is Thee Imperial. For many locals, it’s a time capsule of teenage memories shrouded in a haze of PBR, moshing and hardcore music. When Thee Imperial closed its doors in 2007, the space, and the scene, never fully recovered, despite a few attempts at reincarnation over the years. Now the stage is dark. A thick coat of dust blankets the bar and quiets the once-noisy venue. Enter Oglesby, one of the most polarizing figures in the local arts community. Some artists characterize him as a positive and cheerful person, and praise his generous dedication to the city where he was born and spent much of his youth. Others describe encounters with him as uncomfortable, and note that he can be degrading and quick to judge. He says he feels slighted and jaded by an art scene that has largely dismissed, or dissed, him. Yet his murals dot the urban landscape. A Buddha reclines Downtown on the corner of Julia and Forsyth. On the back of Wall Street in 5 Points, a black-and-gray scene of bustling New York City businessmen plays out for passersby. For the past six years, Oglesby has been painting walls. He rarely charges for his work except to occasionally pay for the supplies, and here in the rundown guts of 325 W. Forsyth St., he was filling every square inch of the space with his art. Although Oglesby no longer squats there, due in large part to the fact that the fire marshal condemned the place, his art remains. “Painting these walls is a preservation of energy,” Oglesby says. “A wall is a sponge, and it absorbs all the energy stored in this building.” Oglesby’s efforts are a study in what it means to keep the spirit of a place alive. Years of a thrashing, vibrant and sometimes violent music scene have left an imprint on the physical as well as the mental memory of

Jacksonville in this all-but-forgotten little bar. “These walls were begging to speak,” Oglesby says. “I was just chosen to help them speak. People who paint walls care a lot about energy. We are a kind of translator. The walls can’t speak, but they listen.” He has transformed the abandoned space into a kind of punk rock cathedral. Evergreen Terrace lyrics drip down the walls in between paintings of snakes, skulls, abstract faces and female forms. Oglesby can walk from corner to corner, pointing out each brushstroke and explaining its significance. Sometimes measured and other times loquacious, he will readily talk about his approach to his work, then swiftly explain its connections to the spiritual universe. “You build your own philosophy about the world,” he says. “You choose to believe what you want to believe about life. Everything is a result of your belief.” He is both a believer in the arts and a man of religion. And sometimes these two things intersect. As he talks, he pours buckets of color from the roof of Thee Imperial, creating a dripping backdrop on the wall for a crucified Christ facing the courthouse. Although Oglesby doesn’t prescribe to one religion over another, he felt a Christian piece was appropriate in a Downtown area dominated by the massive First Baptist Church complex. The piece, in part, was a gesture of respect for the Christian community, he says. Later, in the bathroom of Thee Imperial, among his own graffiti, he washes out his brushes. “People have been washing paint down these drains for the last two years,” Oglesby says, referring to other artists who have painted or erected work in the bar. “The water rises because it’s so clogged. I think our souls are like that. It’s good to get unclogged.” Oglesby lives simply, reading paperback books, painting all day. In his free time, he likes to study different religions, “just finding truth in this dull world where we fight and there’s greed and sex rules everything.” He views art as a kind of weight that levels the pendulum between radical hippie culture and the greed of capitalism. Thee Imperial represents a place of pure passion and dedication, something he finds too little of in Jacksonville. “That building has energy in it, like a well,” Oglesby says. “I feel sometimes that there is a magnet under the ground and it’s my job to protect that magnetic energy.”

“I did mushrooms and felt the Holy Spirit for the first time within two days of each other.”

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

Photos by Dennis Ho

A few weeks later, we met Oglesby again, this time at his parents’ house on the outskirts of Macclenny, about 20 miles west of Jacksonville. On a day so gray that lightning was assured, we sat on his patio. He had a cigarette in his mouth, hand-rolled and irregular. The rain was about to come, and it was going to come in buckets. “Beautiful fucking weather. Beautiful wind right now. God loves us,” he says. Oglesby’s spiritualism is heavily tied to the psychedelics he takes. His path as an artist and an outsider began with a combination of unusual occurrences when he was 16. “I did mushrooms and felt the Holy Spirit in a Pentecostal church for the first time within two days of each other,” he says. “I stared at myself in the mirror for two hours until I completely dissolved.”

Soon thereafter, Oglesby was an accomplice while his friends broke into a house. He faced a year of probation, was forced to go to an alternative school and lost all of his friends. Oglesby soon left traditional education altogether. He has no formal training in art. “I don’t know shit about art,” Oglesby says. “I just try and stay close to the core of my true self. I think knowing nothing is a good foundation. The only thing I know for certain is that I am. Everything else changes.” Oglesby says he doesn’t paint for the money or the recognition. “I just want to live right by God, whatever that means,” he says. “My intention is basic, to be the expression of the higher. The message is for each individual to interpret.” Carley Robinson and Dennis Ho mail@folioweekly.com

A&E // ARTS BEFORE Jacksonville Armada futbol (aka soccer) season ticket holders get to choose where they’ll sit for the new club’s inaugural season Aug. 22-24 at the Baseball Grounds of Jacksonville in Downtown.

R. Gregory Smith, MD provides all methods of breast augmentation and is dedicated to thoroughly informing women who are considering breast aumentation of all their options. Let us help restore your self-confidence and your shape. Pl Please call 904-285-5571 to set up a thorough and confidential consultation.

AFTER

CareCredit Financing Options Available

R. Gregory Smith, MD, PA Ponte Vedra Cosmetic Surgery

Fellow, American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery

PERFORMANCE

ALFRED HITCHCOCK’S 39 STEPS Hitchcock’s masterpiece is a mash-up of broad physical comedy, spy thriller and zany zingers. Local media personalities make cameo appearances during the show starting Aug. 26, with proceeds of those evenings’ shows going to the charity of their choice. It’s staged at 8 p.m. (dinner 6 p.m.) Aug. 20-24, 26-31, Sept. 2-7; 1:15 p.m. (brunch 11 a.m.) Aug. 23, 30 and Sept. 6; 2 p.m. (brunch noon) Aug. 24, 31 and Sept. 7 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $35-$55, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD This play, based on different views on parenthood of several American writers, is staged at 7:30 p.m. Aug. 21-23, 26, 28-30 and 2 p.m. Aug. 24 and 31 on Limelight Theatre’s Matuza Main Stage, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $25, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org. BINGO! THE WINNING MUSICAL Family-friendly musical comedy and crowd participation made this musical a popular production for community theaters. The audience is invited to play a few rounds of bingo, with a chance to win some cash, during the show. It’s staged at 8 p.m. Aug. 21-23, 27-30 and 2 p.m. Aug. 24 at Amelia Community Theatre, 209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, $20 for adults, $10 for students, 261-6749, ameliacommunitytheatre.org. WATER BY THE SPOONFUL This Pulitzer Prize-winning drama,about the lives of those touched by substance abuse, including an Iraqi war veteran, is staged at 8 p.m. Aug. 22 and 23, 28-30 and Sept. 4-6 at Players by the Sea, 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach, $25-$28, 249-0289, playersbythesea.org. THE CIRCLE Tina Lifford, of NBC’s Parenthood, aims to inspire women with her original play on life affirmation, staged at 6 p.m. Aug. 24 and 25 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, call for pricing, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. PHANTOM, THE MUSICAL Not to be confused with Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Broadway production, OPCT’s Phantom puts a different spin on the story, delving deeper into the background of the mysterious masked man obsessed with a beautiful opera singer. The local production, with a more classic operetta style, is staged at 8 p.m. Aug. 29 and 30 and Sept. 5, 6, 12, 13, 19 and 20; 3 p.m. Aug. 31 and Sept. 7, 14 and 21 at Orange Park Community Theatre, 2900 Moody Ave., $20, 276-2599, opct.org. LAUGH-IN REVUE Comedy sketches and songs from the ’60s are featured in this lighthearted musical staged at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 29 and 30 at Amelia Musical Playhouse, 1955 Island Walkway, Fernandina Beach, $15, 277-3455, ameliamusicalplayhouse.com.

COMEDY

RICH GUZZI Guzzi’s XXXtreme Hypnosis Show – grownups only – is at 8 p.m. Aug. 21 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, call for tickets, 292-4242, comedyzone.com. JULIE SCOGGINS “The Queen of Clubs” Scoggins, heard on XM/Sirius Blue Collar radio, takes the stage at 8:04 p.m.

150 Professional Dr., Suite 100 Ponte Vedra Beach, FL 32082

www.pvcosmetticsurger y.com

on Aug. 21, 22 and 23 and at 10:10 p.m. on Aug. 23 at the Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $6-$25, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com. TOM ARNOLD Former The Best Damn Sports Show host and star of the ’90s comedy McHale’s Navy helms the stage at 8 and 10 p.m. Aug. 22 and 23 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $20-$25, 292-4242, comedyzone.com. STEVE NETTA Of MTV and Comedy Central fame, this comedian performs at 8 p.m. Aug. 22 and 9:30 p.m. Aug. 23 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside, 365-5555, latitude360.com. JOHN BUSH The comedian, who’s performed on Comedy Central, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, and HBO Comedy Showcase, appears at 8:04 p.m. Aug. 28-30, and at 10:10 p.m. Aug. 30 at the Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., $6-$15, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com. MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly PG-13-rated improv shows, based on audience suggestion, are held at 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359, madcowford.com. HOT POTATO COMEDY HOUR Local comics take the mic at 9 p.m. every Mon. at rain dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, free, 379-4969. OPEN DOOR SUNDAYS This open mic night is available to comedians starting at 9 p.m. every Sun. at Tapa That, 820 Lomax St., 5 Points, free, 376-9911, tapathat.com.

CALLS, WORKSHOPS & EVENTS

ROLLERGIRLS WANT YOU Experienced and rookie rollergirls (and guys) try their skills at Jacksonville RollerGirls recruitment night at 8:30 p.m. Aug. 20 at Skate Station Funworks of Mandarin, 3461 Kori Rd., jacksonvillerollergirls.com. GREAT SOUTHERN TAILGATE COOKOFF Barbecue masters team up for the chance to win a piece of the $20,000 in prize money offered at this annual cookoff. There are beer tastings, and games and activities for the kiddies, too. The Swingin’ Medallions, Beech Street Blues Band, Bama Gamblers, Rockit Fly and Robin Kinsey perform. Gates are open 3-7:30 p.m. Aug. 22, 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Aug. 23, Main Beach, Fernandina Beach, 277-4369, gstailgatecookoff.com. SELECT YOUR SEAT PARTY The new Jacksonville Armada professional soccer team – and NASL official football club – offers season ticket holders a chance to choose their seats at the stadium in a celebration including live music and live English Premier League matches on the big screen. 5 p.m. Aug. 22, 9 a.m. Aug. 23, 8:30 a.m. Aug. 24, Baseball Grounds of Jacksonville, Downtown, 633-6100. PORTRAIT PAINTING SESSION Elbert Shubert offers live model portrait painting 9 a.m. Aug. 23 at The Art Center II, 229 N. Hogan St., $5 for members, $10 nonmembers. NUTCRACKER DANCE AUDITIONS St. Augustine Ballet opens auditions for The Nutcracker, for male and female dancers studying ballet, regardless of studio affiliation. Registration is at 8:30 a.m. Aug. 23; auditions at 9 a.m. at Abella’s School of Dance, 711 Lakeside Ave., Ste. 9, St. Augustine, $25 nonrefundable fee. Performances are held Dec. 20 and 21 at

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

A&E // ARTS Flagler College. 824-1746, info@saintaugustineballet.com. ABET AUDITION Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre holds auditions for the play One Man, Two Guvnors, by Richard Bean, from 1-4 p.m. on Aug. 23, and 3-6 p.m. Aug. 24 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd, Atlantic Beach, 249-7177, abettheatre.com. CLUB BLUE DODGEBALL A group of young professionals supporting the Boys & Girls Club of Northeast Florida hold a dodgeball tournament, asking companies, civic groups, volunteer organizations and others to support the needs of at-risk children. The tournament is held at 1 p.m. Aug. 23 at the NFL/YET Boys & Girls Club, 555 W. 25th St., Springfield, 396-4435, jasminew@bgcnf. DINNER WITH HENRY VON GENK III Renowned artist Von Genk shares stories, inspiration and samples of his artwork over dinner and drinks, 6 p.m. Aug. 26 at Eleven South, 216 11th Ave S., Jax Beach, $100 for The Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra Beach members, $110 for nonmembers, 280-0614. BEER WORKSHOP Mosh after Dark hosts the seminar featuring Green Room Brewery, of Jax Beach, and the local chapter of Girls Pint Out, a women’s national craft beer organization. Home brewing and factory brewing are discussed and a beer tasting is featured, 6:30 p.m. Aug. 28 at The Museum of Science and History, 1025 Museum Cir., San Marco, $16 for MOSH members, $20 for non-members, 396-6674, themosh.org. OPCT AUDITIONS Auditions are held for the comedy/mystery Murder Among Friends at 7 p.m. Aug. 31 and Sept. 1 at Orange Park Community Theatre, 2900 Moody Ave., Orange Park, 443-2633, opct.org. FOUNDING OF ST. AUGUSTINE CELEBRATION The city of St. Augustine celebrates its 449th birthday with secular and liturgical period music, a historical reenactment of Pedro Menendez’s landing, a theater performance, and a Mass of Thanksgiving, followed by a grand procession, 10 a.m. Sept. 6 at Mission Nombre de Dios, 27 Ocean Ave., St. Augustine, free, 824-2809, missionandshrine.org. SUNDAY PAINT DAY Combating the recent cuts to art programs in Duval County schools, free art classes are offered to children of all ages, 5 p.m. every Sun. at LIYF Clothing & Accessories, 2870 University Blvd. W., Lakewood, vegan and vegetarian snacks, free, 865-630-0358. VERBAL ESSENCE Open mic and music performances are featured at 7 p.m. every Mon. at Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, free, 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com. FIGURE DRAWING Live model figure drawing is offered 7 p.m. every Tue. at The Art Center II, $5 for members, $10 for nonmembers; artists bring supplies. ACTEEN STAGE LAB Children and teens, grades 6-12, learn street style and ambush theater, 6:30 p.m. every Wed. at Limelight Theatre, $80/session, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org. AMATEUR NIGHT All performers – musicians, singers, comedians, poets – can participate in this audience-judged competition based on Amateur Night at the Apollo, held at 7:30 p.m. every first Fri. at the Ritz Theatre & Museum, $6.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ

U.S. ARMY FIELD BAND The Jazz Ambassadors, the official touring big band of the United States Army, perform jazz and patriotic anthems, Latin tunes, bebop, pop hits, Dixieland, and swing music at 7 p.m. Sept. 3 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6815, thcenter.org. JOHN THOMAS GROUP Jazz musicians perform at the Good Hearts charity fundraiser for the American Heart Association at 4 p.m. Sept. 7 at Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595, culhanesirishpub.com. A DIFFERENT DRUM BEAT Legendary jazz drummer John Betsch performs with former Yellowcard drummer Longineu Parsons at 7:30 p.m. on Oct. 10 at Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd, 1100 Stockton St., Riverside, 389-6222, riversidefinearts.org. JAZZ IN PONTE VEDRA The Gary Starling Group (Carol Sheehan, Billy Thornton, Peter Miles) performs 7:30-10:30 p.m. every Thur. at Table 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515. JAZZ IN RIVERSIDE Trumpeter Ray Callendar and guitarist Taylor Roberts are featured at 9:30 p.m. every Thur. at Kickbacks Gastropub, 910 King St., 388-9551. JAZZ IN MANDARIN Boril Ivanov Trio plays at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum plays at 7 p.m. every Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006. JAX BEACH JAZZ Live jazz is presented 6-9 p.m. every Fri. at Landshark Café, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024. JAZZ IN NEPTUNE BEACH Live jazz is featured 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Sat. at Lillie’s Coffee Bar, 200 First St., 249-2922. JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE The House Cats, 9:30 p.m. every Sat., Stogies Club & Listening Room, 36 Charlotte St., 826-4008. JAZZ IN ARLINGTON Jazzland Café features live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. and 6-9 p.m. every Tue. at 1324 University Blvd. N., 240-1009, jazzlandcafe.com. JAZZ IN AVONDALE The Casbah Café features The Von Barlow Trio and Third Bass at 9 p.m. every Sun., 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966. JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Live jazz is featured nightly at Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie, 66 Hypolita St., 825-0502.

ART WALKS, FESTIVALS & MARKETS

NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries of Atlantic and Neptune beaches are open 5-9 p.m. Aug. 21 and every third

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

The zany comedy 39 Steps, based on a classic Hitchcock whodunit, is staged at Alhambra Theatre & Dining on the Southside through Sept. 7.

Thur. from Sailfish Drive in Atlantic Beach to Neptune Beach and Town Center, 753-9594, nbaw.org. DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce are offered 10 a.m.-2 p.m. every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 3531188. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Live music features Katherine Archer 10:30 a.m., Mondo Mike & the Po Boys and Savanna Leigh Bassett 2:45 p.m. and the Jump Fish ‘Up the River Swim’ is at 11:30 a.m. on Aug. 23. Local and regional art, local music, food artists and a farmers market are featured 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT The self-guided tour features galleries, antique stores and shops open from 5-9 p.m. Aug. 30 and every last Sat. in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152. FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK The downtown art walk, held 5-9 p.m. Sept. 3 and every first Wed., features more than 13 live music venues, more than 13 hotspots open after 9 p.m. and 50 total participating venues, spanning 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville. downtownjacksonville.org. FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK The tour of Art Galleries of St. Augustine is held Sept. 5 and every first Fri., with more than 15 galleries participating, 829-0065. ORANGE PARK FARMERS & ARTS MARKET The new market is held 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Sept. 7 at Town Hall Park, 2042 Park Ave. It is scheduled to be held the first and third Sun. each month through May. townoforangepark.com JAX BEACH ART WALK More than 30 local artists display works, 5-9 p.m. Sept. 9 and every second Tue., along First Street between Beach Boulevard and Fifth Avenue North, Jax Beach, betterjaxbeach.com/jax-beach-art-walk.html. ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK Downtown Fernandina Beach galleries are open for self-guided tours, 5:30-8:30 p.m. Sept. 13 and every second Sat., 277-0717, ameliaisland.com.

MUSEUMS

ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7371, arts.ju.edu. The permanent collection features carved ivory, Chinese porcelain, pre-Colombian artifacts and more. AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. The children’s exhibit Discovery Ship allows kids to pilot the ship, hoist flags and learn about the history of Fernandina’s harbor. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. Collector’s Choice: Inside the Hearts and Minds of Regional Collectors, is on display through Sept. 14. The Human Figure: Sculptures by Enzo Torcoletti is on display through September. A Commemoration of the Civil

Rights Movement: Photography from the High Museum of Art is on display through Nov. 2. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/crispellert. XX Janet is waiting to hear back from exhibit curator who says she will send info by Monday XX KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jaxfrm.html. The permanent collection includes many rare manuscripts. MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., 268-0784, mandarinmuseum.net. The exhibit The Maple Leaf, which features artifacts and information from the Civil War era, runs through December. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. The exhibit New York Times Magazine Photographs, curated by Kathy Ryan and Lesley Martin, runs through Aug. 24. Scott Ingram exhibits a survey collection of drawings and objects through Aug. 24. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. Uncovering the Past: Archaeological Discoveries of North Florida is on display through August. First Friday Cosmic Concerts (moshplanetarium.org) feature Laser Magic 7 p.m., Laser Vinyl 8 p.m., Dark Side of the Moon (Pink Floyd) 9 p.m., Led Zeppelin 10 p.m. on Sept. 5; $5. WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME & MUSEUM 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, worldgolfhalloffame. org. Honoring the Legacy: A Tribute to African-Americans in Golf – an exhibit featuring photographs, audio, video and memorabilia from the late 1800s to the present – is featured in the WGHOF permanent collection. BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. Oil paintings by Ponte Vedra Beach resident and renowned artist Susanne Schuenke are displayed through August.

GALLERIES

ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828. Neptune Beach artist Susan Bolenbaugh sketches her surroundings, and displays her work through August; an artist’s reception is held at 5 p.m. Aug. 21. THE ART CENTER PREMIER GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Downtown, 355-1757. Sand and Sea: Two Elements, Infinite Visions featuring art that depicts water and water sports, is on display through Sept. 2. BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS 869 Stockton St., Ste. 1, Riverside, 855-1181. Eric Gillyard’s exhibit of new collage works, Vagaries of Fiction, is displayed through August. 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201, Jax Beach. CoRK Arts District’s Crystal Floyd displays mixed media, terrariums and specialedition screen prints created with Bold Bean espresso mixed

with the ink, through August. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccvb.org. The works of figurative painter Susanna Richter-Helman and wood sculptor Peter Blunt are displayed in the center’s main gallery Aug. 22Sept. 19; an opening reception is held at 6 p.m. Aug. 22. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. Painter Randy Pitts and glass artist Tracy Womack display their works through Sept. 2. PLUM GALLERY 9 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069, plumartgallery.com. American Craftsmen, an exhibit of mixedmedia sculptures, handcrafted furniture, stained glass and linocut prints by Nicola Barsaleau, Meagan Chaney Gumpert, Jessie Cook, Duke Darnold and Rachel deCuba, is on display through August. ROTUNDA GALLERY 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 829-9721. An exhibit of black-and-white photographs from about 30 nonprofit organizations in St. Johns County is on display through Oct. 23. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. Nature in all its forms and the wildlife that inhabit the great outdoors are celebrated in the fi fth annual Nature and Wildlife Exhibition, on display through August. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 553-6361, southlightgallery.com. The Augustines, an exhibit featuring the works of artists at St. Augustine’s Butterfield Garage, continues through Aug. 27.

AUTHORS & LECTURES

SOUTHERN GOTHIC LITERATURE Hastings Adult Book Club discusses Southern Gothic literature and Flannery O’Connor at 10 a.m. Aug. 20 at Hastings Branch Library, 6195 S. Main St., Hastings. 827-6970, sjcpls.org. WHISTLE TALK First Coast Heritage Cookbook author Jeffrey Spear discusses popular culinary trends that began with the European settlement in the area, at 5:30 p.m. Aug. 21 at Beaches Museum & History Park, 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, free, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. RANDY WAYNE WHITE The New York Times bestselling Southern author White discusses his newest Hannah Smith novel, Haunted, at 8 p.m. Aug. 22 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach, 241-9026. TO EVERY BIRD, THERE IS A SEASON Stefanie Nagid, Audubon Florida’s Northeast Policy associate, discusses the changes in the bird community that occur throughout the year, and birds found in Northeast Florida, at 6 p.m. Aug. 21 at St. Augustine Art Association, 22 Marine St., free, 824-2310.

DINING DIRECTORY

To list your restaurant, contact your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com. DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8- $14 $$$ = $15- $22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. Join: fwbiteclub.com. BOJ = 2013 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrestau rant.com. F In historic downtown, the popular bistro’s Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BRETT’S Waterway Café, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality in an upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F In a historic building, the family-owned spot offers worldly fare: veggie burgers, fresh seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or out on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub offers beer brewed onsite. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311, ciaobistroluca.com. Owners Luka and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto. Specialties: chicken Ciao, homemade-style meat lasagna. $ L Fri. & Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Fine dining in historic district. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb served in an elegant, chic spot. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. ELIZABETH POINTE LODGE, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. BOJ. Award-winning B&B offers elegant seaside dining, indoors or outside. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, salads, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian items. Dine in or on porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. Seventh St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Creative lunch: po’boys, salads, little plates. Dinner: fresh local seafood, Fernandina shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MARCHÉ BURETTE, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 491-4834, omnihotels.com. Old-fashioned gourmet food market/deli, in Spa & Shops, Omni Amelia Island Plantation. Continental breakfast; lunch features flatbreads. $$$ BW K TO L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza.net. F BOJ. Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Snail of Approval. Casual organic eatery and juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, coffee, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. PALATE Restaurant & Raw Bar, 614 Centre St., 432-7690, palateamelia.com. The new place features upscale Southerninfluenced cuisine and a raw bar. $$ FB K TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. The bakery near the historic district has sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads, all made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Omni Plantation Spa & Shops. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish and duck breast. Outdoor dining. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly THE SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F See ICW sunsets from second-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, original broiled cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F BOJ. Oceanfront place serves awardwinning handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily TASTY’S FRESH BURGERS & FRIES, 710 Centre St., 321-0409, tastysamelia.com. BOJ. In historic district. Fresh fast-food alternative, combining the freshest meats, hand-cut fries, homemade sauces, hand-spun shakes. $ BW K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310. F This spot in an old gas station offers blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE VERANDAH, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 321-5050, omni hotels.com. Extensive menu of fresh local seafood and steaks; signature entrée is Fernandina shrimp. Many herbs and spices are from onsite garden. $$$ FB K D Nightly

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S Wings, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

LA NOPALERA, 8818 Atlantic Blvd., 720-0106. SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK. THE SHEIK DELI, 9720 Atlantic Blvd., 721-2660. Familyowned-and-operated, Sheik restaurants have served Northeast Florida for 40+ years, with a full breakfast (from pitas to country plates) and a lunch menu. $ TO B L D Mon.-Sat.

The Coffee Bard New World Coffee House off Old St. Augustine Road in Mandarin offers its whole bean coffee flavors as well as brews and espressos served by owner Henry Livingston and barista Lindsey Anderson. Photo: Dennis Ho

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BAGEL LOVE, 4114 Herschel St., Ste. 121, 634-7253, bagel lovejax.com. BOJ. Locally-owned-and-operated spot has Northern-style bagels, cream cheeses, sandwiches, wraps, subs, bakery items. Fresh-squeezed lemonade, coffee, tea. $ K TO B L Daily THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966, the casbahcafe.com. F BOJ. Middle Eastern/Mediterranean fare. Patio, hookah lounge, bellydancers. $$ BW L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 829-5790. F In Green Man Gourmet. Wines, spices, fresh fruit ice pops and Belgian chocolates. SEE PONTE VEDRA. $$ TO THE FOX Restaurant, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day. Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned and operated for 20+ years, the American pub serves 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 4530 St. Johns, 388-8828. F See Mandarin. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 Pine Grove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ. 40+ years. Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. BOJ. French/Southern bistro serves steak frites, mussels and Alsatian pork chops in an elegant setting, with an emphasis on locally grown organic ingredients. Snail of Approval. Craft cocktails. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 7825 Baymeadows Way, 733-4040. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. BROADWAY Ristorante & Pizzeria, Ste. 3, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000, broadwayfl.com. F Family-owned-and-operated Italian pizzeria serves calzones, stromboli, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows, Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 732-9433. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows, 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows, 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows, 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PIZZA PALACE Restaurant & Pizzeria, 3928 Baymeadows, 527-8649, pizzapalacejax.com. F Relaxed, family-owned place serves homestyle cuisine. Local faves: spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Outside dining; HD TVs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Asian methods meld with European template to create tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka. Vegetarian items cooked separately in vegetable oil. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

BEACHES

(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F BOJ. Celebrating 20+ years, Al’s is a repeat Best Pizza winner in our annual readers’ poll. New York-style and gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day HH Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily

BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201. BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE. BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444, buddhathaibistro.com. The proprietors are from Thailand; every dish is made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily BURRITO GALLERY Express, 1333 Third St. N., 242-8226. BOJ. SEE DOWNTOWN. CASA MARIA, 2429 S. Third St., 372-9000, casamariajax. com. F Family-owned-and-operated place offers authentic Mexican fare: fajitas and seafood dishes, hot sauces made inhouse. The specialty is tacos de asada. $ FB K L D Daily CULHANE’S Irish Public House, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595, culhanesirishpub.com. Bite Club. Upscale pub and restaurant owned and managed by sisters from County Limerick, Ireland. Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastropub menu. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L Fri.-Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. SEE RIVERSIDE.

FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. F Latin American fusion, Southwestern-influenced: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024, land sharkcafe.com. F Locally owned & operated. Fresh, off-the-boat local seafood, fish tacos, houseground burgers, wings, handcut fries, tater tots; daily specials. $$ FB K L D Daily; R Sun. LA NOPALERA, 1222 Third St. S., 372-4495. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S SUBS, 657 N. Third St., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE

Football is almost here!

Fantasy Football Food & Drink Packages Available!

PARK.

LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., NB, 249-2922, lilliescoffeebar.com. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine indoors or out, patio and courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. BOJ. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop HH. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO Diner, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. BOJ. SEE SAN

Mon

MARCO.

MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean eatery, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside or on the patio. Valet parking. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit & Blues Bar, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F BOJ. Pulled pork, Carolinastyle barbecue, Delta fried catfish, all the sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., AB, 241-2599. F BOJ. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes, familiar fare, moderate prices. Dine inside or outside. $$ BW L D Daily NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, AB, 372-4105, nbbistro.com. Bite Club. Neighborhood gem with a chef-driven kitchen serves hand-cut steaks, fresh local seafood, tapas menu. HH. $$$ FB K R Sun.; L D Daily OCEAN 60 Restaurant, Wine Bar & Martini Room, 60 Ocean Blvd., AB, 247-0060, ocean60.com. BOJ. Continental cuisine, fresh seafood, nightly dinner specials and a seasonal menu in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. RAGTIME TAVERN & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, the seafood place has scored many awards in our BOJ readers poll. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ. Specialty items: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in a modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., NB, 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille. com. Beach-casual. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly

tue wed thur

fri

sat

sun

VISIT 13779 BEACH BLVD. (HODGES PLAZA) 904.223.6999 TIMEOUTSPORTSGRILL.COM AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

GRILL ME!

DINING DIRECTORY A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE FOOD BIZ

NAME: Jennifer Williams RESTAURANT: What’s Cookin’, 1921 Lane Ave. S., Westside BIRTHPLACE: Jacksonville

YEARS IN THE BIZ: 14

FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Any Mellow Mushroom BEST CUISINE STYLE: Italian GO-TO INGREDIENT: Olive oil IDEAL MEAL: Lasagna WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Deer meat INSIDER’S SECRET: Taste everything before serving it! CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Our customers are celebrities. CULINARY TREAT: Pineapple upside-down cheesecake

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli offers freshly made fare: subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian dishes. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. BURRITO GALLERY & BAR, 21 E. Adams St., 598-2922, burritogallery.com. BOJ. Southwestern burritos, ginger teriyaki tofu, beef barbacoa, wraps, tacos. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411. F SEE BEACHES.

CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Eats at moderate prices – most less than $10. Chef-inspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Thur.-Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S Irish Pub & Restaurant, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. BOJ. Casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. From-scratch soups, sandwiches. They cure their own bacon, pickle their pickles. Home to duck grilled cheese, seen on Travel Channel’s Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

STARTING AUGUST 29TH Comedy Shows in

The Funny Bone Comedy Club at bestbet Orange Park

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE. LA NOPALERA, 1571 C.R. 220, 215-2223. F SEE MANDARIN. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO Smokehouse, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteys fishcamp.com. F Real fish camp serves gator tail, freshwater river catfish, daily specials, traditional fare, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, motorcycle or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771, yourpie. com. Owner Mike Sims has a fast, casual pizza concept: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses and 40+ toppings; create their own pizza pie. It goes in a brick oven for 5 minutes and ta-da: It’s your pie. Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S Wings, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

LA NOPALERA Mexican Restaurant, 14333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 39, 992-1666. F Tamales, fajitas, pork tacos. Some La Nops have a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. TIME OUT Sports Grill, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-owned-andoperated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-night menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

455 Park Avenue Orange Park, FL

JULINGTON CREEK

DICK’S Wings, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, 825-4540. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

METRO Diner, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ. SEE SAN MARCO.

PIZZA PALACE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-2171. F SEE BAYMEADOWS.

MANDARIN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 12926 Gran Bay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F BOJ. SEE

More information 904.646.0001

Buy Tickets

bestbetjax.com/entertainment 32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

BEACHES.

ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199, athenscafe.com. F All the favorites, from the dolmades (stuffed grape leaves) to the baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. Brooklyn Special Pizza is a customer favorite. There’s calzones, white

pizza and homestyle lasagna. $$ BW TO L D Daily THE COFFEE BARD, 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 13, 260-0810, thecoffeebard.com. New world coffeehouse has coffees, breakfast, drinks. $$ TO B L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S Wings, 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. F BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300, jaxramada.com. BOJ. In Ramada. Prime rib and crab leg buffet Fri. & Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily breakfast, lunch and dinner buffets. $$$ FB B R L D Daily GILMON’S BAKERY, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 13, 288-8128, gilmonsbakery.com. Custom cakes, cupcakes, gingerbread men, pies, cookies, coffee, tea. $$ B L Tue.-Sat. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040, harmoniousmonks.net. F American-style steakhouse: Angus steaks, gourmet burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. KAZU Japanese Restaurant, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903, kazujapaneserestaurant.com. Wide variety of soups, dumplings, appetizers, salads, bento boxes, sushi, entrées, maki handrolls, sashimi. $$ BW TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F Tamales, fajitas and pork tacos are customer favorites. Some locations offer a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. Natural, organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods, juices and smoothies. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT Pizza & Grill, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. F Casual, familyfriendly eatery serves steaks, seafood, chicken grill specials. Five topping selections. Salads, sandwiches, pizza. Gluten-free friendly. $ FB K L D Daily STEAMIN, 9703 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 493-2020, eatsteamin.com. Classic diner serves steam burgers, fat dogs and chili, 50+ craft beers. $ FB TO B Sat.-Sun.; L D Daily

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007, aronspizza.com. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. SEE PONTE VEDRA. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. Specialties: New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LA NOPALERA, 9734 Crosshill Blvd., 908-4250. 2024 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding, Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F For 30+ years, all over the area, they pile ’em high and serve ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups, salads. $ K TO B L D Daily POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA, 2134 Park Ave., 264-6116. Family-owned-and-operated, offering pizzas and wings made in coal-fired ovens. Espresso, cappuccino. $ BW TO L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. F Wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily THE SHEIK, 1994 Kingsley Ave., 276-2677. SEE ARLINGTON.

PONTE VEDRA, NW ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 145 Hilden Rd., Ste. 122, 829-5790, claudeschocolate.com. Hand-crafted premium Belgian chocolate, fruits, nuts, spices. Cookies, popsicles. $$ TO DICK’S Wings & Grill, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswingsandgrill.com. F BOJ. NASCAR-themed; 365 kinds of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797, restaurant medure.us. Chef David Medure offers global flavors. Small plates, creative drinks, HH twice daily. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.

DINING DIRECTORY RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AKEL’S DELI, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES.

BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, black sheep5points.com. BOJ. New American fare with Southern twist, made with locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1-2, 855-1181. F BOJ. Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily DICK’S Wings, 5972 San Juan, 693-9258. SEE PONTE VEDRA. EDGEWOOD BAKERY, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. 66+ years, full-service bakery. Fresh breakfast, from-scratch pastries, petit fours, pies, cakes. Espresso, sandwiches, smoothies, soups. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 2753 Park St., 384-9999, europeanstreet.com. BOJ. 130+ imported beers, 20 on tap. NYC-style classic Reuben, overstuffed sandwiches; salads, soups. Outside seating at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F BOJ. Juice bar uses certified organic fruit, vegetables. Artisanal cheese, 300+ craft/import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, wraps, raw, vegan, vitamins and herbs. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. Based on fare of Asian street vendors, peddling authentic dishes from mobile stalls. Chefs here serve the best hawker recipes under one roof. $ BW TO L D Daily KNEAD, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S. New from Bold Bean Coffee owners. Locally-owned, family-run bake shop specializing in made-from-scratch classic pastries, artisan breads, savory pies, specialty sandwiches, seasonal soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 781-7600. 5733 Roosevelt, 446-9500. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO Diner, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., Ortega, 999-4600. F BOJ. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Monroe’s smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homestyle sides include green beans, baked beans, mac-ncheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F BOJ. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. THE MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, moss fire.com. F Southwestern fish tacos, chicken enchiladas. HH Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, obrothersirishpub.com. F Traditional shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio dining. $$ FB K TO L D Daily THE SHEIK, 7361 103rd St., 778-4805. 5172 Normandy Blvd., 786-7641. SEE ARLINGTON. SUN-RAY Cinema, 1028 Park St., 359-0049, sunraycinema. com. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejacksonville.com. Sushi variety, like Monster Roll, Jimmy Smith Roll; faves like Rock-n-Rol, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoor or patio. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. AVILES Restaurant & Lounge, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277, hiltonhistoricstaugustine.net. F Hilton Bayfront. Progressive European-flavored menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch bottomless mimosas. $$$ FB K B L D Daily CARMELO’S Marketplace & Pizzeria, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. F NY-style gourmet brick-ovenbaked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats and cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 6 Granada St., 829-5790. In The Market. Wine and chocolate pairings, soft-serve ice cream, a coffee bar, fresh fruit ice pops, cookies. $$ TO THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridianst aug.com. Updated Southern fare: fresh ingredients from area farms. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F A mainstay for 25+ years, Gypsy’s menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily THE ICE PLANT BAR, 110 Riberia St., 829-6553, iceplantbar. com. Vintage-inspired (an old ice plant) in historic area. Farmto-table menu uses locally sourced ingredients; drinks are handcrafted with house-made bitters, syrups. $$$ FB TO D Nightly MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO Old City BBQ, 5 Cordova, 342-5264. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., Ste. 111, 808-1818, pacificasianbistro.com. F BOJ. Chef Mas Lui creates 30+ sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, Hawaiian-style poke tuna salad. Sake. $$-$$$ BW L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 547-0240. Latin American fusion wine bar and restaurant offers traditional American fare with a Latin flair; sandwiches, too. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sun.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

MOXIE Kitchen + Cocktails, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744, moxiefl.com. Chef Tom Gray’s place features innovative contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers, salads, sides and desserts – using locally sourced ingredients when possible. $$$ FB K L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly MSHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic dishes include Pad Thai, curries, sashimi, fresh sushi, daily specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S Wings, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. SEE P.V. EUROPEAN STREET, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE.

FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusion sushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily THE GROTTO Wine & Tapas Bar, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726, grottowine.com. F Varied tapas menu: artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschettas, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. LA NOPALERA, 1631 Hendricks, 399-1768. F SEE MANDARIN. MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922, matthews restaurant.com. Chef Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, artfully presented cuisine, small plates, martini/wine lists. HH Mon.-Fri. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner. com. F BOJ. Original upscale diner in ’30s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, homemade soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO Bar-B-Que, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815. F SEE BAYMEADOWS.

PULP, 1962 San Marco Blvd., 396-9222, pulpaddiction. com. Juice bar offers fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees, 30 kinds of smoothies. $ TO B L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasan marco.com. Modern take on classic recipes with authentic Italian ingredients, seasonal produce and meats from local purveyors coexist on Chef Sam Efron’s menus. Regional craft beers, handcrafted cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE

360° GRILLE, Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555, latitude360.com. F Seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza. Patio, movie theater. $$ FB TO L D Daily AKEL’S, 7077 Bonneval Rd., 332-8700. F SEE DOWNTOWN. ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. Longest-running dinner theater. Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine, 619-8186. SEE BEACHES. DICK’S Wings, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. SEE P.V. THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888, thedimsumroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, beef tripe, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily European Street, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. SEE RIVERSIDE. HZ CAFE, 6426 Bowden Rd., Ste. 206, 527-1078. The healthy concept cafe serves juices smoothies, traditional vegan and vegetarian meals and vegan and gluten-free meals and desserts. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. LARRY’S SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F BOJ. SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’s Bar-B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900. SEE RIVERSIDE.

SEVEN BRIDGES Grille & Brewery, 9735 Gate Pkwy., 997-1999, 7bridgesgrille.com. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas. Brewer Aaron Nesbit handcrafts ales, lagers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Court, 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. BOJ. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily TOMMY’S Brick Oven Pizza, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. NY-style thin crust, brick-ovencooked pizzas (gluten-free), calzones, sandwiches made fresh to order. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. WATAMI ASIAN FUSION, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. AYCE sushi, plus two teppanyaki grill items. Faves: Jaguar, dynamite, lobster, soft-shell crab rolls. $ FB K L D Daily WORLD of BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 551-5929, worldofbeer.com. F Burgers, tavern fare, sliders,flatbreads, German pretzels, hummus, pickle chips. Craft German, Cali, Florida, Irish drafts. Wines. $$ BW L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HOLA, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant. com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. HH daily; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S, 12001 Lem Turner, 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK. SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404, cpjack sonvilleairport.com. F Low Country Southern fare, taste of Mediterranean and French. Crowne Plaza Airport. Crab cakes, NY strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. $$$ FB K B L D Daily THE SHEIK, 2708 N. Main St., 353-8181. SEE ARLINGTON. UPTOWN MARKET, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptownmarketjax.com. Bite Club. In 1300 Building. Fresh quality fare, innovative breakfast, lunch and dinner; farm-totable selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

BITE-SIZED

159 PALENCIA VILLAGE DR., ST. AUGUSTINE (904) 808-1818 | PACIFICASIANBISTRO.COM

Best BBQ

IN JACKSONVILLE

Winner Best BBQ Jax Truckies 2014

(Next to Target)

2 Locations Serving You 4838 Highway Ave. (904) 389-5551

10771 Beach Blvd. (904) 996-7900 Photo by Caron Streibich

AN AUTHENTIC TRIFECTA

El Ranchito has served Cuban, Columbian and Mexican specialties for more than a decade

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

beans (black or red). It was great for sharing, or the 15 years I’ve lived in Jacksonville and gave us a little taste of a lot of items. and eaten my way across town, I’ve somehow missed El Ranchito, which I We were eager to also try some of the learned has been here since 2000. many Cuban offerings on the menu, but Perhaps that’s because it’s not easy to spot, we were torn between the picadillo and the given its tucked-away location in a plaza ropa vieja, so we flipped a coin. The vieja at the intersection at Beach and San Pablo. won — and it turned out to be a winner, with Nonetheless, it’s well shredded fl ank steak, a worth stopping there. peppery sauce, garlic, The menu is sectioned onion, tomatoes and El Ranchito Restaurant into three cuisines: bell peppers, and a side 14333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 22, traditional Colombian, of vibrant yellow rice. Intracoastal West, 992-4607 Cuban and Mexican. I can’t wait to With rumbling return for happy hour stomachs, we started with ($1.80 domestic beers, café con leche ($2.50) and the empanadas $2.25 imports) and try all the items I was Columbiana (six for $4.99), corn pockets too full to order on my inaugural visit — the filled with a mix of ground beef and spices Cuban sandwich, lechon asado, traditional and served with a light but flavorful, finely Cuban empanadas, tres leches, and perhaps minced salsa. Bypassing other favorites like something (or everything) from the Mexican assorted arepas, shrimp ceviche with tostones side of the menu, too. and fried yucca with mojo sauce, we instead Caron Streibich went with the sopa del dia, which on Sundays biteclub@folioweekly.com is sancocho de gallina ($10 with white rice, facebook.com/folioweeklybitesized plantains and salad), a traditional Columbian chicken-and-vegetable soup that I’d never NIBBLES seen around this area. It was a tasty medley of • Top Chef season 7 winner Kevin chicken broth, corn, green plantains, potatoes Sbraga announced plans to and cilantro. open a restaurant in Brooklyn’s We shared the Columbian bandeja paisa 220 Riverside in early 2015. ($13.99) — an almost-unwieldy platter loaded • Tapa That in 5 Points is now serving with flank sirloin steak, a plump pork sausage, breakfast, 7-10:30 a.m., in addition crispy pork belly, egg, sweet plantains, corn to its lunch and dinner service. cake, avocado, rice (yellow or white) and

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

HELLO, YOUNG LOVERS (aka ISU Writers): The limit for ISU notices is 40 words ONLY. No messages with more than 40 words will be accepted. Please keep your message short & sweet. Thanks! HOLDING AN UMBRELLA You: Sweet, standing under shelter helping people to cars during a thunderstorm. Me: Redhead desperate for shelter from the storm. You asked me what I did. You work at insurance agency. Call if you’d like to share your umbrella. When: Aug. 14. Where: Thrasher Horne Center. #1397-0820 RUNNING OUT OF MOONLIGHT ISU: Mavericks acoustic concert. We talked, you put your arm around me during two songs. Your friend said you wash your beard with long-term relationship Head & Shoulders. You make a cowboy hat look good ;). When: Aug. 13. Where: Mavericks at the Landing. #1396-0820 SUPERCUTE SECURITY GUARD Wanted to talk to you but you were already talking to another female when I was leaving. You: Supercute white security guard. Me: Cute, thin, chocolate-caramel female. Hoping you and I get a chance to talk. When: Aug. 12. Where: Main Library. #1395-0820 NAVY FATIGUES & ME You: A tall gorgeous clean-cut guy in your Navy uniform waiting on your coffee at Starbucks. Me: A shy long-haired Native American princess waiting on her breakfast dessert. Why aren’t you on the menu? When: Aug. 7. Where: 1604 Margaret St. #1394-0813 WALMART CHECKOUT, ST. AUGUSTINE You: Tall handsome gentleman wearing cowboy boots, jeans & white shirt. On a Monday, we chatted about your pool chlorine and my grapes. Me: Petite, long red hair. New to area, would love to connect. When: Aug. 4. Where: St. Augustine Walmart. #1393-0813

ACCOUNTABILITY in MARKETING Join us for a candid discussion about Return on Investment, Return on Objectives, and Business Acumen with Raymond Bednar, Principal with Hyperion Marketing Returns & Rockefeller Consulting.

Thursday, Aug. 28, 2014 7:30AM - 9:00AM Seasons 52 Restaurant 5096 Big Island Dr. Jacksonville, FL 32246

JaxAMA.org

JACKSONVILLE

AMERICAN MARKETING ASSOCIATION

CONNECT > 36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

J.B. WITH A PLAIN NAME TAG You have a good smile. I tried to flirt back; maybe next time I see you I can give you my phone number. Me: Redhead in bright lime green workout tank. When: Aug. 4. Where: Panera@Beach/Hodges. #1392-0813 ANGEL WITH A BOARD You: Black bikini, tan, long hair, carrying surfboard, smiled at me. Me: In a complicated relationship; just wanted to tell you, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve seen in a long time. Thanks for the smile. When: Aug. 6. Where: Jax Beach Pier parking lot. #1391-0813 FLYING IGUANA CLASSY LADY You: Professional-looking classy lady (realtor?) with gold name tag on left jacket lapel at bar’s north end with male and female friends. Me: Silver-headed fox, in booth with buddy behind you at Iguana last Friday. When: July 25. Where: Flying Iguana. #1390-0806 CLOWNFACE 7/20. You: Sitting with old guy. You called me “Chucklehead” and rode off on a red beach cruiser. Drop the relic and ride into the sunset with me. When: July 20. Where: Atlantic Beach Diner. #1389-0730 DERRICK ROSE LOOK-ALIKE You look soooo good. You: a mixed Derrick Rose look-alike. Me: Female, tall, thin former cashier @ Publix. I hate myself for letting you get away. Come find me. I wanna be wherever you are! When: July 6. Where: Publix Southside & Touchton. #1388-0730

I SAW U Connection Made! AKEL’S BOY I see you a lot. Can we hang out sometime? You: Good-looking, short white dude with tattoo by your eye. Me: Cute, tall thin black female. Let’s do lunch at Akel’s or anywhere?! When: July 16. Where: July 16. #1387-0730 WHO KNEW SCRUBS WERE HOT? You: Looking fine in navy-blue scrubs. Sweet smile assisting doctor at my appointment. Your laugh was so hot. Me: Firsttime patient; I’ll get sick more if it means seeing you. Let’s meet July 26, Carrie Underwood concert Budzone. When: July 17. Where: Doctor’s office. #1386-0723

I SAW U Connection Made! HOT BAR GUY ISU at the Ritz, Jax Beach. You: Watching basketball game with your friends. White V-neck, tattoos. I was with two friends. I have long blonde hair, wearing black tank top. Made eye contact, never talked. When: May 31. Where: Ritz Bar. #1385-0716 LATE NIGHT NOSH You: Red shirt, brown hair, glasses; looking at your cellphone. Me: Gray shirt, running shorts; reading a book. Both of us singing to same song. Our eyes met once or twice. Wished you joined me. When: July 9. Where: Regency Steak ’N Shake. #1384-0716 BUSINESS BRUNCH CONNECTION You: 20-something blue-eyed blonde budding professional, great teeth. Me: 74-year-old professional supervisor; looks 20 years younger – bald but burly! I saw your silent amazement when I said we were soulmates. Call; throw professional boundaries to the wind! When: July 2. Where: Mimi’s Café. #1383-0716 SEXY PANHANDLER You: Sweet, sweaty old guy panhandling for spare change on a hot day. Me: Mousey-haired, 30-year-old in gray primered, Bondo’d Hyundai. Your rheumy eyes seemed to be asking me for more than spare change... call me! When: July 4. Where: Corner Kernan & Beach. #1382-0709 STUNNING SLICE SLINGER ISU bouncing around Al’s Pizza. You: Tall blonde bartender serving drinks and slinging slices. Me: Dark, dredded, lurking afar. Next time, come out so I can give you a slice of me! When: June 28. Where: Al’s Pizza, Ponte Vedra. #1381-0709 SPORTING GOODS Me: Tall, shorts/shirt, red hair, red SUV. You: Taller, handsome, shorts/T-shirt, orange-shirted friend; huge white lifted truck. You smiled; should’ve talked then and behind you in line. Maybe Navy boys? Forgive me for being chicken. :) When: July 2. Where: Academy Sports, Kernan. #1380-0709 BLUE-EYED BRUNETTE You: Brunette with stunning blue eyes. Me: Older guy leaving to go get dessert. You asked about the Key lime pie. No time to get acquainted; but I’d like to. When: June 28. Where: Singleton’s Mayport. #1379-0709 BEAUTIFUL BLONDE IN RED DRESS ISU at COE22 this a.m.; want to get to know you. Me: Across the aisle, yellow shirt, with my mother. We caught eyes once. You have an excellent voice; I’d like to sing with you. Think you said you were on-call nurse. When: June 29. Where: COE22. #1378-0702 YOU LIKED MY BOOTS You: Talking about bad guys; you were sooo cute. I told you you were cute but it was really the way you said what you said that I found truly gorgeous. I was mystified; cannot remember what you were wearing. When: June 25. Where: Park behind library. #1377-0702

I SAW U Connection Made! MEET FOR PIZZA & BEER You: Shaved head, awesome blue eyes, T-shirt, shorts, having dinner with who I assume were your children. Me: Ponytail, gray T-shirt having dinner with male friends. Our booth was next to your table. Our eyes met twice as you left! When: June 24. Where: Al’s Pizza Atlantic Beach. #1376-0702 WHITE DOGGIE STYLE You: Shirtless, sweating, man-child drinking a draft beer and trimming bushes on Third Street in Neptune Beach. You paused to adjust your shark-tooth necklace. Me: Nosy neighbor peering through the window. Wanna come take a bite outta me? When: June 16. Where: Neptune Beach. #1375-0625

ASTROLOGY

W.C. FIELDS, OYSTERS, MAHALIA JACKSON & NIETZSCHE ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the weeks ahead, it’s important to bestow blessings, disseminate gifts and dole out helpful feedback. Maybe you already do a good job of that, but I urge you to go further. Through acts of will and surges of compassion, you can and should raise your levels of generosity. Your allies and loved ones need more than usual. They have pressing issues; you have special powers. Boosting your largesse will heal a little glitch in your mental health. Just what the soul doctor ordered. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Icelandic word hoppípolla means “jumping into puddles.” Make that one of your themes in the weeks ahead. It’d be in sweet accordance with astrological omens. You’re overdue for an extended reign of freelance play, a time of high amusement mixed with deep fun and a wandering imagination. Arrange to leap into the mud, roll down a hill, kiss the sky and sing hymns to the sun. Consider adding the Bantu term mbuki-mvuki to your repertoire. It refers to the act of stripping off your clothes and dancing with crazy joy. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): During the course of its life, an oyster may change genders many times. Back and forth it goes, from male to female and vice versa, always ready to switch. I nominate this ambisexual creature to be your power animal in the weeks ahead. There’s rarely been a better time to experiment with the pleasures of gender fluidity. Tap into the increased resilience and sexy wisdom that may occur by expanding your sense of identity. CANCER (June 21-July 22): I get the sense that in the days ahead, you’ll be more casual and nonchalant than usual. More jaunty and unflappable. You may not be irresponsible, but you won’t be hyper-focused on being ultra-responsible. You may even opt not to be buttoned and zippered all the way to the top. It’s possible you’ll be willing to let a sly secret or two slip, and let an interesting eccentricities shine. Tilt in the direction of being carefree rather than careless. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In his novel Les Miserables, French author Victor Hugo wrote a convoluted sentence 823 words long. American novelist William Faulkner outdid him, though. In his book Absalom, Absalom!, he crafted a single rambling, labyrinthine sentence crammed with 1,287 words. These should not be your role models in the next few weeks. To keep rolling in the direction of your best possible destiny, be concise and precise. Straightforward simplicity works better than meandering complexity. No need to rush, though. Take your time. Trust the rhythm to keep poised and purposeful. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Real confidence has no bluster or bombast. It’s not rooted in a desire to seem better than everyone else and it’s not driven by a fear of seeming weak. Real confidence settles in when you have a clear vision of what you need to do. It blooms as you wield the skills and power you’ve built through hard work and discipline. The time has come to claim a generous new share of real confidence. You’re ready to be a bolder and crisper version of you. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): As I understand your situation, you’ve played by the rules, you’ve been sincere and well-meaning, you’ve pressed for a solution that was fair and just. It hasn’t been enough. Now, as long as you stay committed to creating a righteous outcome, you’re authorized to invoke this declaration, originally spoken by ancient Roman poet

Virgil: “If I am unable to make the gods above relent, I shall move hell.” An alternate translation of the original Latin: “If heaven I cannot bend, then hell I will stir.” SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Start every day off with a smile and get it over with,” said misanthropic comedian W.C. Fields. It’s weird to hear that from a professional optimist like me, but I recommend you follow Fields’ advice. In the near future, be as serious, sober and unamusable as you’ve ever been. You’ve got demanding work to attend to, knotty riddles to solve, complex situations to untangle. Frown strong. Keep an extra-sour expression on your face. Smiling will distract from the dogged effort you must summon. Unless you know for a fact that you actually get smarter and more creative when you laugh a lot. If so, ignore all my advice. Instead, be a juggernaut of cheerful problem-solving. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Mahalia Jackson (1911-’72) was a renowned AfricanAmerican gospel singer who lent her talents to the civil rights movement. Martin Luther King Jr. often called on her to be an opening act for his speeches. She was at the podium with him on Aug. 28, 1963 in Washington, D.C. when he delivered his famous “I Have a Dream” speech. In fact, it was her influence that prompted him to depart from his prepared notes and improvise the stirring climax. “Tell them about the dream, Martin,” she politely heckled. And he did. Who’s your equivalent of Mahalia Jackson? Whose spur would you welcome? Who can interrupt you at just the right time? Seek influences to push you to reach higher. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): When Europeans first explored the New World, ships captained by Italians led the way, but none sailed Italian ships or represented Italian cities. Cristoforo Colombo (today known as Christopher Columbus) was funded by the government of Spain, Giovanni de Verrazzano by France, and Giovanni Caboto (now known as John Cabot) by England. I see a lesson here. To flourish in the months ahead, you don’t need to be supported or sponsored by what you think are your natural allies. You may get further seeking help from new sources. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Walter Kaufman had a major role in clarifying the meaning and importance of Friedrich Nietzsche. His English translations of the German philosopher’s books are considered benchmarks, as are his analyses of the man’s ideas. Yet Kaufman was not a big fan. He regarded Nietzsche’s Thus Spake Zarathustra as brilliant and triumphant, but also verbose and melodramatic: a “profusion of sapphires in the mud.” I love that phrase, and maybe you will, too, as you navigate the weeks ahead. Don’t automatically avoid the mud – that’s where you find the sapphires. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I’m intolerant of greed. Acquisitiveness bothers me. Insatiableness disgusts me. I’m all in favor of people having passionate yearnings, but I’m repelled when their passionate yearnings spill over into egomaniacal avarice. I don’t counsel anyone to be piggishly self-indulgent. Never ever. However, I advise you: Be zealous in asking for what you want in the next few weeks. It’ll be surprisingly healing for you and your loved ones if you become aggressive in identifying what you need, then go after it. It’s the wisest thing to do. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by

SAN MARCO 2044 San Marco Blvd. 398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A North 280-1202

Celebrity Food Fight 1 5 9 14 18 19 21 22 23

27 28 29 31 32

36 37 38 39 42 45 50 53 55 56 57 60 62 63 64 65 66 68 69 72 73 74 75 76 78

81 82 83 84 85

ACROSS

“Don’t lose faith ___” Onion cover Take one’s leave Pet you water Deck material Nether region No later than Painter Holbein Host: “Welcome to ‘Celebrity Food Fight’! Tonight it’s Bobby Flay vs. Alton Brown. Needless to say, they both have that ___ ...” Host: “... and more than just pride is at stake tonight, namely, a ___!” Framework? Ground breaker Timothy B. Schmit band Alvin of dance Host: “Whoa, Bobby just got bopped! Looks like his first entree is gonna be a ___!” Lob’s path Actor Delon Exit line Most qualified Not deleted Host: “He takes another one in the ___!” Actress Gilbert Rice-___ Cornered Org. with a code Host: “And strike three ... a ___!” He might say, “Phrase” LAX update Sheltered, at sea Pollyanna portrayer Chekov crewmate Host: “Is Bobby ___?” ___ for (ultra yummy) Host: “No, he’s ___!” Ganymede, e.g. Mass language “Beowulf” beverage Mideast org. Every seven days Host: “Alton’s on the ropes! Bobby’s ___ out of him! (Or should I say, hash browns?)” 2

89 91 92 94 98 99 104 107 108 109 110

112

116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123

Alcove vessel Wedding memento Like beaches Pentagon topic Host: “He’s getting hit with everything but the ___!” Stanza creator Summer top Cutting-in word Simple fellow Greek letter Host: “It’s over! He’s ___!” Area of India Danish coins Case workers’ org. Queue before U Host: “Champ, this seemed like a grudge match. Do I detect some ... ___?” Flay:“He kept calling me ‘Flabby Boy’!” Host: “It’s because it’s an anagram of your name. Gives new meaning to the phrase ‘___’!” Flay: “What?” Host: (Ding!) “Time’s up! Tune in tomorrow for another tasty edition of ‘Celebrity Food Fight.’ Chow, all!” Basso Pinza Olive-green bird Slop eaters Gore’s “new” girl Arctic bird Hard-nosed Partner of “out” Mice, to owls

1 Cornell’s city 2 Synapse-related 3 Romeo’s banishment city 4 Med. readout 5 Under 6 Superman’s birth name 7 Altar answer 8 Con opener 9 Overeater’s worry 10 The ___ Gay 11 River frolicker 12 Is just right 13 Gun-shaped st. 6

14 15 16 17 20 24 26 30 33 34 35 36 39 40 41 43 44 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 54 58 59 60 61 65 67 68 69 70 71

Picks Bagful of swag “Picnic” dramatist Grayish-white Shooting sport Bonn’s river Alfalfa’s gal Many an Omani Purple shade Lazy “___ bet?” Apt name for a nun? A wife of Esau Winter Olympian Trillion: prefix Like some angels Cornered “The Yearling” author Scrabble 1-pointer Basics Tut’s cousin? Twist, as facts Lit. collection Basics Not at rest Pillow fill Bumped off Jacket material Chicken ___ king Keach et al. Dupin’s creator 65 Across portrayer Forwards, e.g. Jack of westerns Pixels and such

B L A M E D

L O N E L Y

S O F A

S C A L D

29 34

D U A S G O N E I V T A

E N T R E E

E D G A O N C M E R P R T E A H A G E N E H U A T B J U D E R A N A MO WE S M E D E D I A N A T A S

U N G E R

C H O R T L E

S W E P T

O D I O U U S T E A M E S

52 58

B A L E

A P H O R I S M

D O R M A N T

A M D S O N

P I L E O N

I B S E N

T E A M

G O D V I A V T A

G U I T A R

S T E A L S

A I R MO S T U O N A D R A

O R A T E S L T U A G K E P N E E N S

39 45

R E T I R E E S

L L E S E D

56 60

65 69 74

78 82 88

70 75

A F R

M I C R O B U R S T

A M U A G S C S T U E N N F A D I A R S

104 105 106

V I OM N A P I L R A S S M N A A P T L O E G S A

E Q U A L

T A S E R

L A O S

S A L T I N E

L A P OW L G R E Y A S T E A S N S T H O E N O L E R L D S G T E U R S A F E R S C A I N I L K M I L P A Y

38 43

Little shavers Low points Arctic bird Formal order Julep flavoring Lion features Frenzied Stylish Wang Be unfaithful to Blackjack order Goldie’s girl Hit ___ (run into trouble) Damages St. Stephen, e.g. “Why not?” Take-home total Brother, in Brest Bottom dog Potsie portrayer “Common Sense” writer Al’s hayseed Help a hood Jumbo, for one Recipe step Grow together KOA sights ___ Jima A Louis Food flinger

Last Week: All eight planets were hidden in the grid, interrupted by single black squares. Now-demoted PLUTO was the initial letters of the last five clues.

73 74 76 77 78 79 80 82 86 87 88 90 93 95 96 97 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 111 113 114 115

Solution to Space Exploration

9 20

AVONDALE 3617 St. Johns Ave. 10300 Southside Blvd. 388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL

DOWN

SOUTHSIDE

84 89

100 101

102 103

107

108

109

110

111

112 113 114

115

116

117

118

119

120

121

122

123

AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

NEWS OF THE WEIRD IT’S FACEBOOK’S WORLD NOW

Up-and-coming Sicilian mobster Domenico Palazzotto, 28, was outed in August by Italy’s L’Espresso magazine as the owner of an ineffectively pseudonymous Facebook page showing off his muscled, bare-chested body and perhaps recruiting members. One fan asked, “Do I need to send a [resume]?” “Yes, brother,” came the reply. “We need to consider your criminal record. We do not take people with clean records.” Palazzotto, who operates out of Palermo, listed among his “likes” the singer Kenny Loggins.

CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE

A jury’s murder conviction, and the 15-to-life sentence it carried, against Daniel Floyd in Brooklyn, New York, for a 2008 killing went for naught in July when the Brooklyn Supreme Court ordered a retrial (with witnesses forced to testify all over again). The sole reason the court cited? A decision by the trial judge on the first day — to seat the potential jury pool and not Floyd’s mother, who, because she was temporarily left standing that first day, argued successfully that her son’s right to a “public” trial had been violated.

I (HEART) STRANGERS

Two 30-something men knocked on the door of a Sebastian, Texas, woman’s home at 12:30 a.m. on Aug. 3, asking for water and if they could please come inside to charge their cellphone — and the woman apparently cheerfully invited them in, later offering them use of her backyard shed to grab some sleep. A short time later, when a law enforcement manhunt widened into her neighborhood, she learned they were wanted for murdering a U.S. Border Patrol agent. Officers arrested the pair inside the shed.

TAKE UP A HOBBY

One of the emerging occupational skills for emergency medical technicians, according to first responders interviewed in a June Wall Street Journal feature, is to hold up blankets at accident scenes — to block onlookers from their apparently uncontrollable urge to take gruesome photos to send to their friends and loved ones.

NOT A MIGHTY WIND

University of Texas at Arlington researchers announced that they’d developed a prototype of a wind turbine that might deliver electricity in tiny bursts to devices like smartphones — since it’s about half the size of a grain of rice. (Tiny solar backpacks already exist.)

THE NEW NORMAL

The ubiquitous “sexting” phenomenon continues to flourish. A Washington state agency suspended the license of anesthesiologist Arthur Zilberstein in June after finding that he exchanged sexually explicit text messages — during surgeries. When he was working. During surgeries.

ANGER MANAGEMENT CANDIDATE

The throat of a 40-year-old man was slashed in August in Laurel, Montana, in a fatal fight with an acquaintance over which military service — Army or Marines — is better. (News reports failed to identify the “winning” branch.) A 37-year-old man survived, but with multiple bullet wounds, in New York City in August after a 1 a.m. dispute during the making of a rap music video. (The dispute was over who, exactly, would be the “star.”) Roger Harris, 63, and Bryan Bandes, 42, brawled in August on the seventh tee at Springdale Golf Course near Uniontown, Pennsylvania, while arguing the rule for playing a ball in a rain puddle. Harris apparently 3-wooded Bandes in the head; Bandes landed punches causing a swollen jaw, a fat lip and a scratched eye.

WAIT ... WHAT?

In Multnomah County, Oregon, in July, a Romanian princess pleaded guilty to cockfighting. Irina Walker, 61, was born in Switzerland where her father, King Michael I, lived after abdicating the throne. She came to Oregon in 1983, where, in a second marriage in 2007, she fell in with former deputy sheriff John Walker, who had moved on to the gambling and cockfighting business and, according to a USA Today report, she was assisting him. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

HELP WANTED STORE MANAGER We are looking for a highly selfmotivated candidate to act as Store Manager for our retail/consignment shop located near downtown Jacksonville. 3-5 years of retail management experience within the women’s clothing industry. College Degree preferred. Knowledge of luxury designer apparel is required. Must be goal oriented. The right candidate will have an opportunity to increase their salary via commission. Saturdays are required. Email rula@thesnob.biz HEALTH CARE AIDE NEEDED! VERY!! VERY!!! URGENT Looking for healthcare aide to take care of elderly people CNA optional, $60 per hour, send resume/email to angelichotest54@hotmail.com for more details... AFRICA, BRAZIL WORK/STUDY! Change the lives of others and create a sustainable future. 1, 6, 9, 18 month programs available.Apply now! Visit Oneworldcenter.org 269-591-0518 info@OneWorldCenter.org PHONE ACTRESSES FROM HOME Must have dedicated land line and great voice. 21+ Up to $18 per hour. Flex hrs/ most wknds. 1-800-403-7772, Lipservice.net $1,000 WEEKLY!! MAILING BROCHURES From Home. Helping home workers since 2001. Genuine Opportunity. No Experience required. Start Immediately www.mailingmembers.com

CUSTOMER SERVICE AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Housing and Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 844-210-3935

HOUSING WANTED ELM TREE AT HYDE PARKAPARTMENT FOR RENT 2bed 1.5 bath-new rehab $599 rent-ELM TREE AT HYDE PARK,2125 Hyde Park Call TIEA 904-886-8842 ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roommates.com!

VEHICLES WANTED CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808. www.cash4car.com

ADOPTION PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/ New Mexico/Indiana

HEALTH & BEAUTY SEEKING INNER PEACE & KNOWLEDGE OF SELF? Let Felicia’s Beauty Secrets serve you by finding beauty within.Intuitive Life Coach * Yoga * Reiki * Airbrush Makeup * Natural Hair * Bridal Services www.feliciasbeautysecrets.com AIRBRUSH MAKEUP ARTIST For Ads, TV, Film, Fashion 40% OFF TUITION - SPECIAL $1990 - Train & Build Portfolio. One Week Course Details at: AwardMakeupSchool.com 818-980-2119

PETS KITTENS BORN THIS SPRING. CALICO ANCESTRY. READY FOR ADOPTION! Well trained, gentle companions, past the difficult baby stage. Call 904-642-7961

REAL ESTATE SERVICE

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY – NO FAIL! If you need to pay some bills, get out of debt, have some extra spending money, you need to hear about this business. If you want a career working only days you want to work, making as much or as little as you want to make. Contact me! 904 - 728 - 4381

FOR SALE KILL BED BUGS! Buy Harris Bed Bug Killer Complete Treatment Program/ Kit. (Harris Mattress Covers Add Extra Protection). Available: Hardware Stores, Buy Online: homedepot.com $50 WALMART GIFT CARD & 3 Free issues of your favorite magazines! Call 855-757-3486

38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014

WANT TO INVEST IN REAL ESTATE? If you’re looking to flip homes in Jacksonville, you’ve come to the right place. I’m constantly watching the market for new listings that need rehab. Most of these properties have the potential for $40k-$50k profit margins. As soon as I find them, you’ll know about them so you can be the first to make an offer. Call me any time for more information. Nate Watson, Realtor, Atlantis Realty Group 904-504-3794 Licensed Real Estate Agent

CHAT LINES CURIOUS ABOUT MEN? Talk Discreetly with men like you! Try FREE! Call 1-888-779-2789 www.guyspy.com

BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

he Downtown Investment Authority recently approved the concept of berthing the U.S. Navy Destroyer USS Charles F. Adams at The Shipyards Property. The action will go before the full City Council on Aug. 12 — [editor’s note: after this publication goes to press, but before the issue hits the streets] — and, one hopes, be signed into law by Mayor Alvin Brown soon after. This is an important step, but it does not bring the Adams to Jacksonville. Only you are capable of bringing the destroyer back home to Jacksonville. But before we discuss your part, let’s review what the USS Adams Museum will do for the community. The first item to review is economics. A study and economic model was done by Pete Mansel of the 4PGroup to determine the number of visitors attracted and the amount of revenue the museum would generate. Mansel stated in reviewing his methodology that he always errs on the conservative side when running economic models. He will not tell a client what they want hear but what the facts are, even though they may not support a project. In the case of the museum, in the first year there is an estimated loss of $781,000 due to an expected gradual buildup of revenue during the first six months of operation. After year one, the museum operates at a surplus of $700,000, increasing to up to $1 million by year five. The projected gross revenue increases from just under $2 million in the first year to almost $4 million by the fifth year. The number of visitors is estimated at 165,000, plus another 45,000 from youth group day trips and sleepovers, as well as 100,000 from different ships’ reunion groups. These numbers impact Jacksonville greatly. Visit Jacksonville estimates that each visitor generates about $128 in spending. The 165,000 visitors will create an economic impact of more than $21 million a year. They would also generate 25,000 to 30,000 room-nights. Bringing in another 100,000 visitors (including spouses) for the ships’ reunions will generate about 150,000 room-nights and more than $38 million in economic impact. Regarding the sleepovers, there are hundreds of thousands of young people who are members of Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Sea Scouts, church youth groups and junior

BRING THE USS ADAMS TO JACKSONVILLE Why you should help bring a Naval museum to The Shipyards

ROTC units who would be invited for sleepovers on board the Adams, assuming a marketing effort to bring in youth within a six-hour drive of Jacksonville. There is another group that can benefit from the Adams: the students of Duval County and surrounding Northeast Florida counties. There are more than 100,000 students in Duval County Public Schools, plus many more in private and parochial schools. The Adams would offer a field trip to these students once a year, to learn about the history of the Cold War and to give the students a feel for what life was like aboard a Navy ship between 1960 and 1995. These visits would include a tour of the sleeping quarters, the engine room, officers’ ward rooms, the bridge, and the command and intelligence center where a missile drill may be simulated. There will be artifacts from the time period for the students to examine. The visit will also include lessons in how the ship’s propulsion system works and how the ship is “driven” from the bridge. Finally, there is the emphasis on science, technology, engineering and math (STEM). Jacksonville’s floating Naval museum provides an opportunity to teach Title I students STEM. In fact, there would be five classrooms on the Adams

dedicated to STEM. The idea is to use the excitement of being on U.S. Navy vessel to translate into excitement for math and its uses on board such a ship. This in turn results in an increase in the skills needed to take Florida’s new comprehensive tests. From Baltimore to Jacksonville, there is no maritime museum that is close to Interstate 95. This makes Jacksonville a great location for a Naval museum. When you consider the history of Jacksonville as a Navy town, bringing the ship here to serve as a floating museum is quite appropriate. Having the museum in Jacksonville honors the men who served their country on the Adams-class destroyers. The museum will also have displays that honor those who have served their country in all capacities. The Adams will be a true military service museum. Within five years of opening the floating museum, the goals include adding a paved area of about 80,000 square feet, moving Jacksonville’s War Memorial from the EverBank Field parking lot to the location of the Adams, and completing a building that greatly increases the display area. These would be displays honoring the men and women of all five service branches. By year five, it is hoped that the Adams would be tied to Downtown hotels and remote parking locations by the Automated Skyway Express. This would make the Naval museum accessible to Downtown; if the Cummer Art Museum is as accessible to Downtown as the Museum of Science & History (MOSH) and the Museum of Contemporary Art (MOCA) currently are, local hoteliers can sell a Jacksonville museum package to tourists. This brings us to the “what can I do” portion of this editorial. Obtaining a refurbished ship, completing the pier, building shore-based facilities and paying for the first six months of operating expenses will require $5 million. It is unlikely a donor will be found who can provide all $5 million. A better way is to have the community come together to pay for the museum. The Jacksonville Historic Naval Ship Association (JHNSA) is a 501(c)3 non-profit. Here’s an example of how a large number of small donors can make a great difference: If the 1.4 million people in the Jacksonville metropolitan area gave just $4 each, we would raise $5.2 million. If 200,000 people give $25, or if 50,000 people gave $100, the museum would raise the $5 million needed. One method of helping to bring the Adams to Jacksonville is to become a Fleet of One Hundred Commander. The requirements are to donate $500 and then promise to bring in at least 25 people as $25 individual members. The Fleet Commander then asks those 25 people to bring in an additional 25 people. If we start with 100 Fleet Commanders and each acquires 25 individual members who then bring in another 25 individual members, the Adams gains 62,500 members and will accrue almost $1.6 million. The Fleet of One Hundred Campaign will bring us the operating funds needed to continue our fundraising efforts. The campaign will also provide a portion of the capital needed to begin the project. Without the infusion of this funding, we will be unable to start our capital campaign. You can make a donation at adams2jax.org. To become a Commander by donating at least $500 and selling at least 25 individual memberships (with books included), or to obtain a copy of our naming rights list with prices, please contact our Executive Director, Commodore Joe Snowberger at joes@ussadams.com. Bruce A. Fouraker, JHNSA Board Member, Fundraising Committee Member mail@folioweekly.com

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be no more than 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to mail@folioweekly.com. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly. AUGUST 20-26, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39

40 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | AUGUST 20-26, 2014