08.23.11

Northeast Florida’s News & Opinion Magazine • Aug. 23-29, 2011 • Your Slutwalk Companion • 99,402 readers every week!

A Sheriff’s Office policy of releasing “confidential” juvenile records uproots families living in public housing • By Susan Cooper Eastman

On Monogamy: Post-hardcore pioneer Tim Kasher brings his solo skills to Northeast Florida. p. 18

Photographer Melanie Pullen combines fashion, murder and imagination into one lethal image. p. 29

FREE

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EDITOR’S NOTE p. 4 ON THE COVER A Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office policy of releasing “confidential” juvenile records uproots families living in public housing. p. 7 BUZZ, BOUQUETS & BRICKBATS Local pastor gets popped — but not punished — for perversion. Plus J’ville celluloid hero Tim Massett returns to town to revive underground film. p. 8 SPORTSTALK 5K, 1 great cause, but not nearly enough participants to Save Duval Sports. p. 10 OUR PICKS Reasons to leave the house this week. p. 13 MOVIES Director Ruben Fleischer drops a comedy bomb on the summer movie scene with “30 Minutes or Less.” p. 14 “Final Destination 5” is a predictably bad addition to the horror franchise. p. 15 MUSIC Postcore pioneer Tim Kasher’s softer sound still delivers a powerful message. p. 18

Volume 25 Number 21

14 Contemporary jazz heavyweights Fourplay bring their chilled-out legacy to Northeast Florida. p. 19 Local psych rockers Fainted Paces walk the weirdness that they talk. p. 20 ARTS Photographer Melanie Pullen combines fashion, murder and imagination into one lethal image. p. 29 BACKPAGE Fractured Fairy Tales: What state educators can learn from the Parable of the Convincing Consultant. p. 47 MAIL p. 5 I ♥ TELEVISION p. 11 HAPPENINGS p. 32 DINING GUIDE p. 34 NEWS OF THE WEIRD p. 42 I SAW U p. 43 FREEWILL ASTROLOGY p. 44 CLASSIFIEDS p. 45

46 August 23-29, 2011 | folio weekly | 3

Walter Coker

Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll defends the new toll road as a voluntary expense. “This is not a roadway that people have to use.”

For Whom the Toll Sucks D

4 | FOLIO WEEKLY | AUGUST 23-29, 2011

riving down Brannan Field Road on a recent sun-drenched afternoon, one is struck by how unlike a Westside road it is. This is no Blanding Boulevard/103rd Street/Normandy gauntlet. There are cyclists — a peloton! — pedaling north along the shoulder. A near-total absence of strip centers and drive-thrus. It’s remote, untrammeled — sort of how you might envision the Westside if you’d never actually been there.

It’s no wonder that this road is such a key selling point for Oakleaf Plantation, the sprawling 11,000-home planned community located at the road’s southern end. Without the widening and realignment of Brannan Field and Chaffee roads (now known jointly as S.R. 23), Oakleaf would be all but inaccessible — one more miserable node in Clay County’s metastasized commuter nightmare.

But the road that has become the centerpiece of the development’s sales pitch is about to become a toll road — the first segment of a proposed Outer Beltway leading from Interstate 10 in Duval County to I-95 in St. Johns County. The announcement came last week with great fanfare, including — ironically — an appearance by Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll, who came as an emissary from an administration that promised no new taxes or fees. Asked about the incongruity, Carroll assured a local reporter that implementing new tolls on an existing roadway did not amount to a tax or fee.

“This is not being mandated on any of the residents here,” Carroll told Channel 4’s Jim Piggott. “It is a user-fee road, so if you want to use the road, fine. … This is not a roadway that people have to use.”

Right. We don’t “have to” use it. But we currently can use it — for free. Or free if you don’t count the tens of millions in taxpayer dollars spent over the years acquiring the right-of-way and building the existing road.

Carroll evinced no discomfort in defending the state’s decision to take a public road built with taxpayer dollars and put it behind a paywall. So we’ll presume she’s even less troubled by the fact that the new road, which at 15¢ a mile is going to cost some commuters $22.50 a week, is simply too expensive for many to afford. For those folks, there’s always the already-crowded Old Middleburg Road, Shindler Drive, and Blanding. Because, really — who cares if poor people have crappy commutes?

The new toll road is just the first phase of the planned 46-mile Outer Beltway. The route for the $2 billion project is plotted, but the state still has large tracts of land to acquire,

and major questions about how to pay for it all.

The hope, if not quite the expectation, is that the state can use toll money collected from the 15-mile stretch to offset costs and to leverage as a bond issue. But that plan may be less realistic than it sounds. Until last year, state officials had hoped to persuade private investors to join them in the beltway project, in exchange for a share of the tolls, but that proposal proved a non-starter. Roads aren’t big moneymakers, as evidenced by the private sector’s overwhelming disinterest in owning or maintaining them.

Jacksonville Mayor Alvin Brown noted as much last week, when he spoke out against the toll road. “Private industry wasn’t interested in doing this because they didn’t think it would make money,” Brown said. “And the state shouldn’t be doing this on its own.”

The state claims it will make money, and there’s certainly profit potential: 20,000 cars a day paying $2.25 equals $45,000 a day. But the state’s own estimates from 2010 suggest it would take 15 years for a private company to recoup the cost of beltway construction, and that’s based on an extremely sunny forecast.

According to the DOT study, the population in Duval, Clay and St. Johns will soar from just under 1.3 million now to 1.8 million in 2030, and the number of people employed will increase from 577,000 to more than 800,000. Given the depths of the present economic downturn, even half that number seems wildly optimistic.

For Duval residents, the unpleasant prospect of a toll road comes with a little extra twist of the knife. Back in the 1980s, county residents voted to tax themselves an extra half-cent in order to abolish roadway tolls. That vote, which applied to JTA projects, doesn’t have any legal bearing on a state project. But the fact that a public road is being made a payto-play highway still rankles. It even seems to have caught some transportation officials offguard. Marty Lanahan, who sits on the Florida Transportation Commission — the citizens’ oversight board for FDOT — promised last year that while toll roads were an inevitability, they would only land on brand-new roads.

“There is no way we are going to put tolls back on existing roads,” Lanahan told Channel 4 last October. “You can’t do that. We are not talking about existing roads.”

Except now we are. Or rather, FDOT is. Nobody else has been invited into the conversation. It’s a shining example of the statesponsored arrogance of transportation officials — one that’s already taking a toll.

Anne Schindler themail@folioweekly.com

District Interpretation

Exemplary piece about the upcoming electoral redistricting process by Dr. Stephen Baker (Backpage Editorial, Aug. 9): A must-read for all interested parties.

Baker wisely did not predict what effect the two recent Florida Constitutional amendments related to redistricting would have on AfricanAmerican political representation, especially in the U.S. House of Representatives.

What we know for sure is that “minorityaccess” districts nearly doubled AfricanAmerican representation in the U.S. House after 1992, when an earlier Supreme Court ruling added that criterion to the traditional redistricting criteria of compactness and contiguity. African Americans are 11 to 12 percent of the total population and presently hold 9 percent of House seats. Before the “minority access” court ruling, they held less than 5 percent.

The Republican-dominated Florida Legislature will have the final word on how to interpret the intent of voters who approved the two amendments, which encourage a return to compact and contiguous redistricting. There is little reason for optimism among minorities (or voters of modest means, for that matter) that predominantly white Florida Republicans in the Legislature will draw compact and contiguous districts where their own interests are diminished, and the two amendments don’t require them to do so.

Whatever the results of redistricting, and there’s sure to be plenty of partisan sniping, we have a metric for assessing the final product: Does the percentage of African Americans in the U.S. House increase, decrease or stay the same?

consumption is to replace animal products in our diet with vegetables, fresh fruits, legumes and grains. These foods contain all the nutrients we require, without deadly pathogens, antibiotics, pesticides, carcinogens, cholesterol and saturated fats.

Jason Rittonhouse Jacksonville via email

House of Cards

(RE: “Where You Live,” From the Editor Aug. 2): You may have missed it, but right after Thrasher’s recent election, a Republican politician commented that Deborah G. should have run in a district where she could have won.

It was obviously a strange idea to this man that people should run in the district where they actually live. One Tea Party candidate from Orlando ran last year in the Panhandle, said he would move if he got elected. You also might want to read the St. Augustine Record coverage of the legislators’ redistricting pony show.

Their theme was that you should want many legislators representing your county. That way, you would have someone in the majority party.

It was an incredibly well-written article.

Carol Corbitt Via email

Michael Hoffmann Atlantic Beach via email

Cruel & Usual

Thanks to Anna Ware for the warning about cruelty to circus animals (Mail, Aug. 2).

“Entertainment” that subjects animals to stress, fear, pain or humiliation should be a thing of the past. Instead of Rocky the Boxing Kangaroo, why not put a human in a kangaroo suit and let him box and kick to the cheers of the audience? How about using Coach Bob Knight? Rush Limbaugh? Simon Cowell? That would be kinda funny.

Ken Crawford Jacksonville via email

This week’s recall of 36 million pounds of ground turkey by Cargill proves once again that our meat supply is not safe. The product has been linked to a nationwide outbreak of Salmonella that killed one person and sickened 76 thus far. With $108 billion in annual sales, Cargill is the world’s largest meat processor.

Salmonella bacteria are nurtured in the intestines of animals raised for food, and many strains are resistant to common antibiotics. The bacteria develop resistance through exposure to antibiotics used routinely to speed growth in these animals.

As a first step, the Food and Drug Administration must ban the routine use of antibiotics in raising animals. The European Union adopted such a ban in 2006. The World Health Organization has recommended a worldwide phase-out. But the ultimate solution to salmonella poisoning and a host of chronic killer diseases associated with meat

Wasted Space

Thanks for publishing a huge list of restaurants, coffee shops, bars and the like. I haven’t seen a bigger waste of paper since the last time the phone company dropped off a Yellow Pages at my door. Why so harsh, you ask? Because the Jacksonville area is vast and spread out.

To group all of these eateries by type makes the issue far less useful than if it were grouped by area, since people are mostly interested in places near their home or work.

Hopefully you can take this into consideration for the next Bite by Bite. For now, I’m glad I recycle.

Vincent Collogan Jax Beach via email

Editor’s Note: Folio Weekly also publishes Bite By Bite by Neighborhood, available at bit.ly/q fLBah

Left Back

I am writing with regard to the article “The Daily Show” (News, Aug. 9). It is clear that newspaper subscriptions are down because so many people are going to other sources for their news, including the Internet. However, what is distressing in the article and, frankly,

AUGUST 23-29, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 5

Locally Owned and Independent since 1987 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 Fax: 904.260.9773 e-mail: info@folioweekly.com website: folioweekly.com

in a good segment of that industry is the lack of an admission or acknowledgement that at least one of the major reasons why so many people are looking elsewhere for their news is the overwhelming liberal bias in the news industry. Whether acknowledged in your management group, the liberal bias of Folio Weekly and so many of the newspapers is so pervasive that the newspaper, with very limited exceptions, has limited usefulness as a news source.

The fact of the matter is that the newspapers have brought on their own downfall.

Arthur Rubin Jacksonville via email

Built to Spill

To Shelton Hull, RE: Money Jungle, Aug. 2. I have just read your article. Amen to all you said.

I do not understand why Tallahassee is

I do not understand why Tallahassee is trying to destroy our public school system. Like you said, it has been going on for years.

Maybe they don’t want any new business to come to this state and create jobs. trying to destroy our public school system.

Like you said, it has been going on for years.

Maybe they don’t want any new business to come to this state and create jobs. If I was looking for a place to move my business, I sure would not move to Florida.

I know most people feel the way you do, and all we can do is vote them out of office and hope someone will get elected that cares about education. Keep up the good work.

Jo Ann McLeod

Relational Aggression

In your news item about Mike Hogan’s new position bequeathed upon him by his patron saint, Rick Scott (“Hogan’s Hero,” Buzz, August 2), you neglected to mention one detail that makes our former tax collector’s new responsibilities even more ironic: In addition to fantasizing about bombing abortion clinics, Mr. Hogan wanted to do away with Jacksonville’s Human Rights Commission. How sad for all human worker bees that Hogan now heads the state’s Public Employees Relations Commission.

Maybe he needs some prerequisite course work in public relations?

Rev. Dr. Bruce H. Joffe, Pastor Christ Church of Peace Jacksonville via email If you would like to respond to something that appeared in Folio Weekly, please send a signed letter (no anonymous or pseudonymous mail will be printed) along with address and phone number (for verification purposes only) to themail@folioweekly.com or THE MAIL, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Letters may be edited for space and clarity.

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Folio Weekly is published every Tuesday throughout Northeast Florida.

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Misdemeanor marijuana possession by a teenager cost the family who was living in this Lenox Avenue apartment their federal housing assistance.

Weeded Out

A Sheriff’s Office policy of releasing “confidential” juvenile records uproots families in public housing

W

hile teaching science class at Robert E. Lee High School on a Tuesday morning in November 2007, Heather Bundshuh saw one of her students drop a small baggie of marijuana on the floor. The student claimed it belonged to his cousin, but a school resource officer was summoned and the 17-year-old was arrested for misdemeanor possession. The State Attorney ultimately dropped all charges — the teen entered a diversionary treatment program through the county’s Drug Court, passed all his drug tests and graduated — but the incident devastated his family nonetheless.

Notified by the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office about the teen’s arrest, the Jacksonville Housing Authority stripped the family of their Section 8 funding for their Lenox Avenue apartment

their families. “If you want to create a system that marginalizes and harms kids, I couldn’t think of a better one than what we are doing.”

The Jacksonville Housing Authority’s no-tolerance drug policy dates to the 1990s, when similar policies went into effect in public housing around the nation. The goal of the new rules was to keep subsidized housing units from becoming crack dens or dealer hangouts, and to hold adults responsible if their children were engaged in the drug trade. But the laws, in practice, are troublingly vague, and give the housing authority the sweeping power of judge and jury. Federal HUD only requires that a housing authority have a “preponderance of evidence” that a resident of a household is using drugs in order to evict that entire family

It’s not clear why the JSO released juvenile records to the housing authority, but it appears to directly contradict state law protecting juvenile records from release.

— roughly $489 of their $753-a-month rent.

Even with both mother and son working, the family was threatened with eviction several times. They accumulated late fees when they fell behind on rent. JEA shut off their power when they couldn’t afford their electric bill. The teen’s mother couldn’t afford her car insurance premiums, and had to stop driving the family car. And even though the teen’s record was cleared, the family carries a black mark: They were barred from seeking any public assistance for five years.

The case raises a slew of legal and ethical questions, not least why the JSO would release supposedly confidential juvenile records to the local housing authority. This apparently common practice is at the root of a Jacksonville Area Legal Aid lawsuit filed on June 28 on behalf of the youth and his mother, who are identified in the suit only as M.J. and her son H.J. The case also examines whether the Jacksonville Housing Authority can terminate rental assistance based solely on an arrest, not a conviction, and if it can evict for juvenile crimes at all.

“It’s obscene,” says Lisa Thurau, executive director of the Boston-based Strategies for Youth Inc. and the research director of The American Bar Association’s project on collateral damage suffered by juvenile defendants and

or to cancel their Section 8 assistance. There doesn’t even have to be an arrest.

The rules allow families to appeal, but that process itself appears flawed. In the case of the Lenox Avenue teen, the mother appealed the loss of the Section 8 funds, bringing documentation to a hearing on May 21, 2008, showing that he was doing great in his drug-counseling program. The hearing officer declined to look at the information, however, according to the family’s lawsuit. He upheld the JHA’s decision, noting the arrest was itself a strong-enough indication that the son had been using drugs.

According to Thurau, cases of families losing their housing benefits simply because of an arrest of a juvenile is commonplace at public housing agencies around the country.

“It’s routine,” she says. “I thought we were innocent before being proven guilty. Here the court is saying that the child deserves a second chance but the family doesn’t. It’s a horrendous system.”

In some instances, Thurau says, families in Boston have been evicted from public housing after a teenager who is a legal resident is issued a trespassing citation from a security officer.

Though the trespassing charges are dropped as soon as the family proves the kid lives there,

AUGUST 23-29, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 7

NewsBuzz

Double Your Displeasure “You can characterize it however you wish.”

— Alan Mosley, local district director for the state Department of Transportation, responding to a question from Channel 4 about whether creating a new toll road after area residents voted in the ’80s to tax themselves to remove highway tolls constituted a “double tax.” Florida DOT announced last week it would convert the taxpayer-subsidized Brannan Field Road into a 15¢-a-mile toll road.

Screen Shot Advertising proof Tim Massett, who earned a name screening

underground films at San Marco Theatre, this is a copyright protected proofThe©Pit and Jacksonville Film Festival before moving to Duluth

your advertising representative at BLE AT 268-3655 sUpport

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in 2008, has returned to his hometown with the hope of remodeling and revamping Riverside’s Five 260-9770. rUn dAte: 050311 Points Theatre. Massett and his wife Shana DavidMassett are trying to crowdsource $95,000 in online donations to install a larger screen, theater seating Produced by jw Checked by Sales Rep nv and a full kitchen. For more information or to make a donation, go to ulule.com/5pointstheatre.

Pastor Perv “His leadership has helped provide stability in the present and a clear vision for the future.”

— From the website bio of Dr. Greg Neal, co-pastor of Berean Baptist Church in Fleming Island. Last week, following an investigation by police and the State Attorney’s Office, Neal was found to have secretly videotaped female parishioners undressing in his office a decade ago. Although investigators say the evidence against Neal was “overwhelming,” they did not press charges because the statute of limitations has expired. Read the police report at bit.ly/oRucLV.

the charge of “trespassing” is itself enough to trigger eviction, and families have been forced to leave.

“It’s been a death knell for the stability of a family,” says Thurau. “The goal made sense — get drug dealing out of complexes … But there is no oversight.”

Concerns about similar practices in New York City are behind a major lawsuit against that city’s Public Housing Authority. The American Bar Association is currently creating a state-by-state analysis of the collateral damage caused by juvenile arrests, which specifically cites the loss of public housing as a socially destabilizing consequence. And U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder convened a Cabinet-level interagency ReEntry Council in January to examine the results of the ABA report.

In the meantime, the local lawsuit has exposed troubling collusion between JSO and JHA, as well as the massive power wielded by public housing authorities. It’s not clear why the JSO released juvenile records to the housing authority (the agency didn’t respond to Folio Weekly’s inquiries). But it appears to directly contradict state law protecting juvenile records from release. According to Florida Statutes, all information relating to juveniles obtained by law enforcement is, with a few specific exceptions, confidential.

None of the statutory exceptions would permit disclosure of juvenile records to the Jacksonville Housing Authority. But after a big drug bust in 2007, in which one of the accused dealers lived in Section 8 housing, the embarrassed housing authority began requesting JSO records of anyone receiving housing assistance dollars. JHA Senior Vice President Fred McKinnies says the agency asked JSO for all the addresses of Section 8 tenants with criminal charges. JSO complied, apparently without regard to state statute, giving JHA records marked “Juvenile” and “Confidential.” JHA then used the records to terminate Section 8 assistance.

To some observers, the practice isn’t just a lapse of law enforcement judgment — it shows the two-tier justice system for the privileged and the poor. While H.J. was arrested when he dropped the baggie, Miami-Dade Chief Assistant Public Defender Marie Osborne says a private school kid would never face police. The

Tome Cruise Unburden your bookshelves. A newly minted nonprofit has launched a book drive to collect new and gently used books to donate to the school system. Growth, Ownership, Action and Leadership (“GOAL”) will collect books dropped off at the Florida Creamery and Green Alligator in Avondale, Violet in Five Points, Reve in San Marco and the Green Alligator in Ponte Vedra. Questions? Email goaljnap@gmail.com.

A Fertile Mind “You need plenty of chicken manure.”

— Yulee resident Louis Miner’s response when he was asked what it took to grow his massive 110-pound watermelon.

Miner put the lunker on display at Down Home Market, at the corner of A1A and Felmore Road, where he also sells corn and peas.

8 | FOLIO WEEKLY | AUGUST 23-29, 2011

West Sixth Street, Springfield, August 15

school would telephone the parents, and though the kid might be punished, it wouldn’t mark him for life. In a family receiving public assistance, however, a teen’s experimentation can disrupt an entire family’s ecosystem. “For poor kids, getting caught with a baggie can be life-shattering,” Osborne says.

When Gov. Jeb Bush’s daughter was busted for prescription fraud in 2002, and later caught with crack cocaine, for instance, he pleaded for compassion. But the Bush clan never faced eviction from their “public housing” — the governor’s mansion — even though the Orlando District Attorney’s Narcotics Evictions Office couldn’t resist pointing out the apparent double standard.

“It’s our responsibility to make equal justice under the law a little more than a slogan,” says Osborne. “Here you have two people who, because of economics, would have two completely different outcomes.”

Legal Aid attorney Jeff Haynie declined to comment for this story, saying he feared it would re-victimize the family he represents.

However, his clients are seeking damages of more than $15,000, and asking the court to force JSO to stop releasing juvenile records to JHA. McKinnies says until the case is decided, they are only receiving limited information on juvenile arrests for certain felony crimes.

Attorney Michael Wedner, with the city’s General Counsel’s Office, who is representing both JSO and JHA, declined to comment citing active litigation. However, he says in his legal response to the lawsuit that putting aside whether JSO should have released the records to JHA, once the housing authority had that information, they were obligated to use it to rescind public assistance payments. “Once it received information concerning drug-related criminal activity related to the Plaintiff ’s household,” Wedner writes in the defendant’s motion to dismiss the complaint “… JHA was required to terminate assistance.”

Kicking the family off public assistance may not have been right or fair, Wedner appears to say, just mandatory. For a dime bag, it was certainly costly.

The case moved to federal court on Aug. 2.

Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

NewsBuzz The Way of the Tosser The organization Sustainable Springfield announced a new campaign last week to raise money to build a disc golf course in the 22-acre Henry J. Klutho Park. Though the Frisbee-tossing sport wasn’t invented when Klutho Park was constructed between 1899 and 1901, the park has housed all kinds of activities, including the city’s first zoo and its first swimming pool. The city has approved the project, and the Springfield Disc Golf Club is seeking donations from area businesses. Interested sponsors can contact sustainablespringfield@yahoo.com

Brickbats to the losers who defaced one of two marble lions at the base of St. Augustine’s Bridge of Lions. Last Friday, Montezz Lamont Blackmon, 18, and a 15-year-old accomplice were arrested, charged with misdemeanor criminal mischief. The vandals had spray-painted the nose and the eyes of one of the lions with red paint, requiring painstaking repairs to the historic sculpture. The lions have stood at the bridge’s western end since 1927. (In a related matter, the vandals who spray-painted the city’s old fort, 24-yearold Scott Anthony Hill and 20-year-old Fang Chin Tsai, of Jacksonville [pictured], were each sentenced to 24 months’ probation, and fined $1,000. The two also must perform community service at the fort.)

Brickbats to Republican U.S. Rep. John Mica for squandering $400 million in revenue during the recent shutdown of the Federal Aviation Authority.

As chair of the House Transportation Committee, Mica and other House Republicans forced a 14-day shutdown of airport construction projects, a move that idled more than 4,000 FAA employees and cost the government $400 million in lost revenue from airport taxes. Mica, who’s collected $620,000 in donations from the airline industry during his legislative career, held up the FAA funding in large part because of a union issue that airlines execs oppose.

Brickbats to Jacksonville veterinarian Lawrence Wallace for failing to live up to the most basic standards of his profession. The 62-year-old was cited for multiple animal cruelty charges after 13 English bulldogs were removed from his veterinary operation. The animals, some of which were covered in feces, were found without access to water in temperatures exceeding 107 degrees. Several other dogs were found in another room, also with no water, in similarly hot temperatures.

AUGUST 23-29, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 9

Sportstalk

Stadium Rock

5K, 1 great cause, but not nearly enough participants to save Duval sports

I

n the months since the Duval County School Board announced the necessity of cutting sports programs, we’ve seen community action to save things like cross country and golf, while sports like tennis show significant progress in maybe being saved for the next year. This ad hoc approach will likely need to become a continuing trend in the 904 — and if that’s the case, an important factor will be events like last weekend’s Florida Blue 5K Stadium Challenge, held on a rain-cooled evening at EverBank Field.

I mention that the rain cooled the event on purpose, because I’d signed up for the 5K, and as the start time approached, I had a case of nerves. For one thing, I’d jammed my toe when I woke up that morning, and by race time, it was the color of eggplant and swollen twice its normal size. For another thing, I hadn’t exactly been running every day in the preceding weeks, and what running I

It’s gotta be said: There was something wonderful about the last stretch of the race, running on the track inside the stadium.

10 | FOLIO WEEKLY | AUGUST 23-29, 2011

had done was on a flat surface. How would I conquer those ramps? I’d spent more time on Madden Franchise mode this summer than on anything approaching physical exertion.

The rain was a baptism. The August afternoon’s hellfire heat had been soaked from the sky even before my party arrived at the stadium, where there was ample free parking — too much of it for my tastes. The event, in terms of numbers of people participating, should’ve been as big as the Gate River Run. The cause was laudable and just, with motivations as pure as any race in the area.

There’s not a person out there who wants these sports to be cut. But, as we know, cuts happen somewhere, always, and DCPS is under siege to cut when and where and how it must.

Maybe the 5K wasn’t as well-promoted as it could’ve been, though I seem to remember a half-page ad for it opposite my column two weeks earlier. Whatever the reason, turnout was light; days before the race, it was announced that the planned 9:40 heat would be scrubbed for lack of registrants. Maybe

they all just wanted to get out to TSI and run the race earlier — who knows?

The music selection for the event was topflight. Upon our arrival, our party was treated to Nouvelle Vague’s rendition of “YMCA,” and during the race, we heard an album cut off New Order’s forgotten 1990s longplayer “Republic.” Not since the Shamrock Run months ago — where the sounds of Nirvana blasted across the usually sedate grounds of Northside’s Greenlawn Cemetery — had I heard music at an event that I might actually run to were I making a tape for my Walkman.

Even if synthpop at EverBank Field wasn’t nearly as anomalous as grunge loud enough to reanimate a field of corpses.

The course was interesting enough — the ramps up the stadium, the passing of wall-mounted Jimmy Smiths, the copious bathrooms once inside the Home of the Jaguars — but there’s a missed opportunity here. For future events, with the baseball stadium not far away from EverBank, a race incorporating both baseball and football grounds and stands into the mix would be even more visually compelling.

Participants were upbeat about the future of Duval County’s high school sports. A gentleman I encountered near the finish pledged that “we will save them all.” Perhaps he was talking about Jesus and the impending end times? I run without a pen, and by the time I got to the end, I was sucking more wind than a phalanx of Hoovers. I couldn’t remember a name.

Those levels kicked my ass. It’s gotta be said: There was something wonderful about the last stretch of the race, running on the track inside the stadium.

That’s what people were supposed to do.

But the legs were tired. The spirit was weak.

The brain was fatigued. The moral compass was faulty. I ran on the grass. And what a lawn it is — lush and soft, impossibly plush.

Like a Persian rug. Sorry, Wayne! Wonderful to have such a gift rendered at the end of a short race that kicked runners’ butts more than most local short runs! The buildings from Arlington to Talleyrand may be graffitiplagued slums, but by God the fi eld is so lush it should be on 4AD. AG Gancarski themail@folioweekly.com

Listen to AG Gancarski every Friday on “First Coast Connect” with Melissa Ross on 89.9 FM WJCT.

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I Hate Hitler L

et’s talk TIME TRAVEL. (And no, it’s not just a subject for bespectacled nerds who furiously masturbate to crudely sketched drawings of Princess Leia.) Though often a complete and utter waste of time, the subject of “time travel” can tell us a lot about ourselves.

Example: This Saturday, Aug. 27, at 9 p.m., the BBCA network presents the midseason return of “Doctor Who” — a show usually viewed by those dressed in ill-fitting Star Trek togs who violently argue with no one in particular over who would win in a fight between Superman and Wolverine. (Answer: Wolverine … with kryptonite blades.)

And while I’m definitely not one of those “Doctor Who people,” please note that the show’s current incarnation is helmed by writer Steven Moffat, who cowrote the freaking BRILLIANT Sherlock reboot that ran earlier this year — so you know it’s gonna be both smarty-AND-funny pants. Plus there’s a distinct possibility, since this episode is tantalizingly titled “Let’s Kill Hitler,” that someone’s going to … you know … kill Hitler.

Now … I don’t like Hitler. There, I said it.

And in this episode, Doctor Who (along with his totally bangable assistant, Amy) is in his

If you could go back in time and kill Hitler, would you? My answer would be an emphatic “NEIN!” time-traveling phone booth (the unfortunately named “TARDIS”) when it’s hijacked, and — WOOSH! — transported back to 1938 Berlin, where he meets the most despised war criminal in the whole universe. And coincidentally?

Hitler’s there, too!

Anyway, the long and the short of it: Who and the gang are faced with the question that’s plagued nerds since the dawn of nerddom: If you could go back in time and kill Hitler, would you? My answer would be an emphatic “NEIN!” And not because it would “screw up the space/time continuum,” as those sniffling asthmatic science-folk like to drone on about.

I don’t give two rat poots about the space/ time continuum! For example … watch this.

BAM! I just threw a plate of Totino’s Pizza Rolls out the window! A homeless person will probably stop to pick them up instead of walking out into traffic, where he would’ve been run over and killed by a garbage truck.

And, rather than becoming a greasy stain in the road, this guy will likely marvel at his good luck, turn his life around and become the owner and president of the largest commercial carpet-cleaning company in the city! BOOYAH! (I f*ck with the space/time continuum like that all the time.)

Anyway, killing Hitler is like … so pedestrian. I’d much rather fly back to 1938 and MESS WITH HIS MIND. First, I’d march into his office (or goose-step, since I’ll be dressed like a Nazi officer) and bark, “Mein Fuhrer! Der Amerikaners have developed der pizza rolls!” and toss a pan of Totino’s under his nose. “ACH!” Hitler will respond. “Mein

this is a copyright protected proo plans for world domination are kaput! But I can still kill der Juden, For jah?” questions, “NEIN,” I will please call your advertising representative at yell. “Der Juden invented der pizza roll!” “Huh. FAX “Totino YOURdoesn’t PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 Really?” Hitler will wonder. sound Jewish.” And then I’llpromise respond … ofI’llbenefit sUpport Ask for Action respond … OK, screw it. I’ll pull out a gun and kill Hitler. Satisfied??

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TUESDAY, AUGUST 23 10:00 TLC WHAT NOT TO WEAR In this special clip show, the hosts recall their “Top Ten Makeover Meltdowns” because THIS BELT OBVIOUSLY DOESN’T GO WITH THESE SHOES!!

10:00 ANI MAN-EATING SUPER SNAKE Isn’t being “man-eating” enough? They’re super powered, too?

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WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 24 8:00 FOX BURIED TREASURE Debut! “Antiques Roadshow” hosts dig through peoples’ shit to find shit that’s worth a shit.

For questions, please call your 10:00 BBCA THE HOUR A Brit version of “Mad Men”FAX set inYOUR a 1950s PROOF IF POSSIBLE newsroom. “Cor blimey! That’s sexist, guv’nah!”

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9:00 LIF PROJECT RUNWAY The designers are asked to create stylish tracksuits intended to make old people look less ridiculous.

11:00 FX LOUIE A one-hour episode in which Louie eats too much ice cream, masturbates and gets depressed in AFGHANISTAN??

FRIDAY, AUGUST 26 9:00 BBCA DOCTOR WHO CONFIDENTIAL Behind the scenes of this season’s “Doctor Who,” including a tour of the unfortunately named TARDIS. 10:00 ANI RAT BUSTERS NYC Debut! A new reality show about professional rat killers in Brooklyn. “I ain’t afraid of no rats!”

(Actually, I am.)

SATURDAY, AUGUST 27 9:00 BBCA DOCTOR WHO Mid-season premiere! The Doctor is stunned to discover someone has already killed Hitler … with Totino’s Pizza Rolls?

SUNDAY, AUGUST 28 9:00 MTV 2011 VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS Scheduled to appear: Adele, Lil’ Wayne, Bruno Mars and Chris Brown?? They have to stop inviting him to these things!

Midnight TOON THE VENTURE BROS. SPECIAL A new and hilarious “rockumentary” about the most awesome band of all time, “Shallow Gravy.”

© 2011

MONDAY, AUGUST 29 10:00 MTV RIDICULOUSNESS Debut! A new show spotlighting viral videos.

Tonight: People who rack their nuts on pogo sticks.

10:30 MTV DEATH VALLEY Debut! A horror/comedy about zombies and various monsters who infest the Hollywood hills (and the slackers who decapitate them).

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey steve@portlandmercury.com AUGUST 23-29, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 11

Fo

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Reasons to leave the house this week BBQ TAILGATE COOK OFF

Those who enjoy their smoked butt while hangin’ beachside must hit the second annual Great Southern Tailgate Cook-off on Friday, Aug. 26 at 3:30 p.m. and Saturday, Aug. 27 at 10 a.m. at Main Beach Park, 99 N. Fletcher Ave., Fernandina Beach. Culinary teams competing for more than $20,000 in cash and prizes, along with arts and crafts, kids’ stuff, a volleyball tourney and live music by bands, including Southern rock legends Wet Willy featuring Jimmy Hall. Parking for shuttle service on Friday starts at 3 p.m. at Atlantic Elementary School, 1205 Atlantic Ave.; Saturday shuttle starts at 10 a.m. at Fernandina Beach High School, 435 Citrona Drive. 277-4369. gstailgatecookoff.com

RAP MATISYAHU

The 32-year-old Hasidic rapper Matisyahu performs reggae-influenced rhymes, as much Peter Tosh as they are the Torah. Born Matthew Paul Miller, Matisyahu is skilled at blending sacred wisdom with dank-ass, 21st-century beats and a positive, spiritually charged message. He’s earned a Grammy nod and topped Billboard charts while moving two million records. He performs with Trevor Hall on Tuesday, Aug. 23 at 7:30 p.m. at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. Advance tickets are $27.50; $30 day of show. 209-0367.

FILM CASABLANCA

Romance, espionage, WWII, Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman and Peter Lorre(!) all converge in a mysterious Moroccan city in director Michael Curtiz’ 1942 masterpiece, “Casablanca.” Winner of three Academy Awards including Best Picture, this story of a man torn between love and virtue is iconic filmmaking in its truest sense, reminding us that a “kiss is just a kiss,” and that Bogie’s “Play it again, Sam” is one of the greatest misquotations of all time. The classic screens on Wednesday, Aug. 24 at 6 p.m. at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. Tickets are $5. 209-0367.

INDIE ROCK BURRO BAR

Burro Bar serves up a six-pack of ice-cold indie rock to cool down even the most heated rockers when Tobacco Pat, Gospel Music, Candy Lee, Whetherman, Robin Rütenberg and Adam Balbo perform on Friday, Aug. 26 at 8 p.m. at 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. Admission is $5. 353-4692.

THUR., AUGUST 25

FOOD BITE CLUB

Folio Weekly’s Bite Club hosts free tasting events at area restaurants, where foodies and food blogger Caron Streibich meet to enjoy and discuss cuisine and food trends. Bite Club members are selected for each event by answering essential foodie trivia on the Bite Club website. The next event is on Tuesday, Aug. 30 at Crab Cake Factory, 1396 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. To sign up for it or future tastings, or just to learn what Bite Club is all about, check out fwbiteclub.com. 247-9880.

LOCAL HEAVIES ROCKER FEST

Lovers of local bone-crushing metal and top-shelf modern rock shall answer the clarion call to “rawk out!” when Brewster’s Pit features five of Northeast Florida’s finest in ear-pummeling sounds when Allele (pictured), Bleeding in Stereo, Stayne Thee Angel, Dailiss and A New Decree play on Friday, Aug. 26 at 7 p.m. at 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10 in advance. 223-9850.

STEEL MAGNOLIA

The dynamic duo Steel Magnolia first burst onto the contemporary country scene in ’09, as that season’s winners of the popular TV show, “Can You Duet?” Meghan Linsey and fiancé Joshua Scott Jones, with roots in their home state of Louisiana, have for the past few years been blooming in Nashville’s fertile music scene, harvesting hit tunes like “Keep On Lovin’ You” and “Last Night Again” and being nominated for several music awards. They perform on Thursday, Aug. 25 at 6 p.m. Mavericks Rock N’ Honky Tonk Concert Hall, 2 Independent Drive, at The Jacksonville Landing downtown. Advance tickets are $12.50; $17.50 day of show. Upstairs tickets are $20. 356-1110.

August 23-29, 2011 | folio weekly | 13

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“Dude, where’s my integrity (and car)?”

Aziz Ansari and Jesse Eisenberg star in the puerile cinematic stankfest of “30 Minutes or Less.”

Timed Out Advertising proof

director Ruben Fleischer drops a comedy this is a copyright protected“Zombieland” proof © bomb on the summer movie scene

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T

©

he quality of the humor in “30 Minutes or Less,” the new movie from “Zombieland” director (Ruben Fleischer) and star (Jesse Eisenberg), is quickly established in one of the 2011film’s opening sequences. Sitting on the steps of their apartment drinking beer, pizza delivery boy Nick (Eisenberg) watches his friend Chet (Aziz Ansari) in his car waiting to, uh, finish.

Finish what, we learn, when a girl raises her head from his lap, daintily wipes her lip, and then plants a big kiss on Chet, making him visibly uncomfortable.

It’s like that scene in “Superbad” when the menstruating chick humps Jonah Hill’s leg on the dance floor, leaving a big bloodstain on his trousers. If you thought that was a riot, you’ll probably love “30 Minutes or Less.” If not, well, you’ve been warned.

Prompted by a real-life incident that wasn’t so funny, this confusing new movie is mostly gross, bawdy, slapstick humor uneasily mixed (not blended) with more serious plot elements.

Dwayne (Danny McBride) and his © 2011 buddy Travis (Nick Swardson) are a couple of thirtysomething losers whose accomplishments include detonating watermelons and watching Jason Voorhees (of the “Friday the 13th” films) in 3-D. The fly in their ointment is Dwayne’s dad, The Major (Fred Ward), an ex-Marine who humiliates his son in every way imaginable.

Dwayne concocts a plan to murder his father, a lottery winner, and acquire what’s left of the lottery money. The slightly more-dimwitted Travis is his uneasy accomplice.

A sleazy stripper named Juici (played by Bianca Kajlich) puts Dwayne in touch with a hitman named Chongo (Michael Peña) who will do the job for $100,000. In order to raise the cash, Dwayne and Travis enlist the unwitting Nick, the frustrated pizza driver, by wiring him into a bomb-lined vest and forcing him to rob a bank. Understandably nonplussed

FolioWeekly

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14 | folio weekly | August 23-29, 2011

by the unwelcome developments in his life, Nick coaxes his roommate Chet into helping him — this despite the fact that the two friends have recently had a serious spat.

The eventual bank robbery elicits some of the funniest moments in “30 Minutes or Less,” but it’s during the aftermath (the final 20 minutes or so) that the film goes south, skewered by several plot developments and scenes that, handled differently, might have produced inspired black humor. As it is, the resolution and wrap-up are at odds with the rest of the film, leaving “30 Minutes or Less” with a distinctly unfavorable aftertaste.

As for the cast, Jesse Eisenberg reprises the same kind of gangly nice guy he brought to the screen back-to-back in 2009’s “Adventureland” and “Zombieland.” The next year found him playing Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg in “The Social Network,” proving that Eisenberg was more than a clone of Michael Cera. “30 Minutes or Less,” however, is a step back for Eisenberg. He’s not as bad as the movie itself, but a guy with his credentials should be able to do better.

Danny McBride, on the other hand, is pretty much up to the same in-your-face shenanigans he brought to the underwhelming “Your Highness,” while Aziz Ansari (at least to my tastes) is mostly obnoxious, resorting to volume as the keynote of his comic delivery.

The best of the bunch is Nick Swardson, the soon-to-be star of the Adam Sandler-scripted comedy “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star.”

Formerly a stand-up comic, Swardson’s natural timing — mostly by way of reaction — is a welcome change of pace to the others’ more frenzied efforts at laughs.

Most disappointing about the new film is that director Fleischer and Eisenberg’s previous collaboration in “Zombieland” was so good, whereas “30 Minutes or Less” is (to borrow the phrase) so much less. The screenplay by Michael Diliberti (his first) is the major crime, but everyone connected with the disappointing venture bears responsibility as accomplices in delivering such a stinker of a motion picture.

Pat McLeod themail@folioweekly.com

The Dim Reaper

“Final Destination 5” is a predictably bad and unwanted addition to this silly horror franchise Final Destination 5 *G@@

Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

N

ear the end of “Final Destination 5,” a ritualistic exercise in relentless mutilation and mayhem, a potential victim has a frightening encounter with a meat grinder in the kitchen of an upscale restaurant. It’s a pointed reminder of how this series, regularly churned out since its somewhat intriguing debut 11 years ago, routinely and methodically grinds up its young victims. Who needs a serial killer when supernaturally induced chains of coincidences can so effectively do the trick?

The latest entry in the franchise, helmed by first-time director Steven Quale, a journeyman cinematographer and special-effects wizard best known for collaborating with James Cameron, is no exception. Death, which “doesn’t like to be cheated,” as spooky coroner William Bludworth (the returning Tony Todd) warns, takes pleasure in dispatching various underdeveloped characters via multiple grisly methods. Unfortunate impalings abound, naturally, but there are also torso slices, fire deaths, a particularly horrifying sports accident, and any number of bodies that go “splat” in the night. Thinking back on the history of movie violence, it’s hard to imagine that a movie with gore at levels this extreme wouldn’t have been banned in every country on the planet, not so long ago. Is it the result of the law of diminishing returns for viewers by now accustomed to graphic, explicit killings? Or are we just indifferent to all of this gore porn?

While 3D is ridiculously ubiquitous lately — does it really benefit “The Smurfs” and “Glee” movies? — the ever-advancing technology enables “FD5” to provide jolts that otherwise wouldn’t have quite the same visceral impact. An impaling on a sailboat mast, anyone? How about a close-up of an eyeball being squashed? Prefer the shards of glass and other assorted objects that come streaming at audiences during the summer’s most promising title sequence? Well, step right up.

The tragedies are set in motion after Sam (Nicholas D’Agosto), employed by a company called Presage — get it? — has a frightening vision and convinces seven colleagues to abandon the bus they’re taking to a business retreat. Minutes later, the suspension bridge they’re on collapses, and 17 of the octet’s coworkers plunge to their deaths. The two sequences, the accident in Sam’s premonition followed by the real thing, are horrific if spectacular, as cables snap, concrete cracks and vehicles and bodies go flying. The 3D, introduced to the series with the fourth installment, is particularly effective here.

The plot, as such, thickens with the arrival of FBI investigator Agent Block (Courtney B. this is a copyright protected pro Vance), initially determined to discover what Sam knew, and when he knew it. As the death toll mounts, the lawman grows decidedly For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 62811 baffled. And the survivors, including characters FAXlooks YOUR PROOF played by Miles Fisher (who and acts like IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 a young Tom Cruise) and Emma Bell, become Produced by jw Checked by Sales R promise of benefit support Ask for Action increasingly frantic, particularly when they realize that it’s all a zero-sum game (I won’t spoil this minor twist, which makes about as much sense as anything else).

Levity isn’t exactly the forte of “Final Destination” movies, but No. 5 certainly offers several darkly comic moments, including office manager Dennis (David Koechner of TV’s “The Office”) who keeps forgetting that a nerdish tech support guy Isaac (P.J. Byrne) isn’t one of the dead. Then there’s a smiling Buddha statue that plays a part in one killing. And “Dust in the Wind,” the hit by ’70s prog rockers Kansas, is the unofficial theme song for “FD5” — every time the tune is played, disaster is just ahead.

It’s an apropos pick. Not only are the characters and performances instantly forgettable, but the lyrics might be a note to the movie’s producers: “Don’t hang on, nothing last forever but the earth and sky. It slips away, all your money won’t another minute buy.”

Is this the last chapter? This film’s coda seems to suggest that it’s all over, via a montage of horrific deaths from the first four movies. Then again, I have a premonition that even a modest showing at the box office could very well lead to “FD6.” Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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Philip Booth themail@folioweekly.com

“Golly Gee Willikers! Another mangled corpse!” Jacqueline MacInnes Wood and Nicholas D’Agosto try to watch their step in “Final Destination 5.”

AUGUST 23-29, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 15

And you thought the neighbors’ kid was creepy? Sally (Bailee Madison) whiles away the day playing “Diane Arbus” in Guillermo del Toro’s latest horror offering, “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark,” opening on Aug. 26.

FINAL DESTINATION 5 *G@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Reviewed in this issue.

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS **@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, Epic Theatre St. Augustine Let the Justin Timberlake backlash begin! This silly, romcom puts JT and costar Mila Kunis as buds trying to sustain a friendship based on a “no strings attached” carnality that benefits no one.

FRIGHT NIGHT 3D **@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Fans of the ’80s classic horror film can nibble on this terrifying tale about high school senior Charley (Anton Yelchin) and neighbor Jerry Dandridge (Colin Farrell), a suave playboy who acts suspiciously like a bloodsucking vampire!

AREA THEATERS

AMELIA ISLAND Carmike Amelia Island 7, 1132 S. 14th St., 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 NORTHSIDE Hollywood River City 14, River City Marketplace, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

FILM RATINGS **** NEW YORK DOLLS ***@ NEW YORK YANKEES **@@ NEW YORK MINUTE *@@@ NEW YORK RENT

NOW SHOWING ANOTHER EARTH **@@ Rated PG-13 • Cinemark Tinseltown This innovative sci-fi film features Brit Marling as a woman who finds her life suddenly under the strange influence of a “mirror” planet Earth that she begins to see in the sky.

AARAKSHAN **@@ Unrated • AMC Regency Based on a true story, this Bollywood import follows students at a college in Bhopal following a landmark Indian ruling regarding caste-based reservations.

BEATS, RHYMES & LIFE: THE TRAVELS OF A TRIBE CALLED QUEST **@@ Rated R • Regal Beach This documentary from director-actor Michael Rapaport chronicles the lives, music and legacy of the highly influential hip-hop group.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER **** Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Chris Evans stars in this excellent big-screen adaptation of the Marvel Comics Universe story about a patriotic WWII-era soldier-turned-superhero who battles evil leader Red Skull and his renegade Nazi faction, Hydra.

16 | folio weekly | August 23-29, 2011

CARS 2 ***@ Rated G • AMC Orange Park This animated flick pits Lightning McQueen (voiced by Owen Wilson) against foe Francesco Bernoulli (John Turturro) in

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike Fleming Island 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

the World Grand Prix. Larry the Cable Guy, Bonnie Hunt and Michael Caine co-star.

THE CHANGE-UP ***@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Endearing performances from Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds keep this otherwise cliché idea (“Freaky Friday,” “Vice Versa”) from becoming another raunchy gross-fest mistaken for an original comedy.

CONAN THE BARBARIAN **@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Jason Momoa stars in this updated version of author Robert E. Howard’s story of the legendary Cimmerian warrior waging an epic battle against both worldly and supernatural evil.

COWBOYS & ALIENS **G@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Jon Favreau (“Iron Man”) directs this sci-fi-meets-oater-actionyarn, starring Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford and Olivia Wilde, about an outlaw and sheriff who join forces to battle a gaggle of intergalactic varmints plum near ready for global domination!

CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE ***@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., San Marco Theatre Steve Carell, Marisa Tomei, Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone star in this insane little rom-com about a group of lonely hearts navigating the dating world of 21st-century Los Angeles.

DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK ***G Rated R • Opens on Aug. 26 Guy Pearce and Katie Holmes star in this horror film, written

by Guillermo del Toro, about Sally (Bailee Madison), a little girl being tormented by evil creatures in her family’s new home.

GLEE THE 3-D CONCERT MOVIE **** Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

OMG! This film catches the “Glee”-lightful cast of the immensely popular TV show in live performance like during their like recent summer like tour and stuff, you know.

HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 2 ***G Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., WGHoF IMAX The final installment of this immensely popular series delivers a spellbinding farewell through flashback scenes, solid storytelling and powerful battle sequences, with solid curtaincall performances by Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint and Ralph Fiennes, as the malevolent Lord Voldemort.

THE HELP **G@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Emma Stone and Viola Davis star in this tale set in 1960s Mississippi, about a young woman who collects the stories of African-American women in her town who’ve spent their lives working for white families — and publishes them in a sensational book.

HORRIBLE BOSSES ***G Rated R • Epic Theatre St. Augustine The comedy, about offing your superior in the workplace, has a clever plot and vulgar-rich performances by Kevin Spacey, Jennifer Aniston, Jason Bateman, Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell.

ONE DAY **G@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess star in this summer romance flick as two life-long, lovelorn friends who discover that true romance might be closer than they imagine.

RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES ***G Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Director Rupert Wyatt’s take on the classic sci-fi story of man versus monkey swings along with killer performances by James Franco and Andy Serkis as the reluctant ape-turnedsuper-ape Caesar. Tasteful special effects help “Rise” climb to the top of the summer blockbuster list.

THE SMURFS ***G Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Katy Perry, Hank Azaria, Jeff Foxworthy, George Lopez, Fred Armisen, Kenan Thompson, B.J. Novak and Jonathan Winters

Advertising proo this is a copyright protected proof (yay!) lend their voices to these beloved little blue dudes and dudette. When archenemy Gargamel (Azaria) chases them from their home, The Smurfs are transported to our world, where they meet Patrick (Neil Patrick Harris).

SNOW FLOWER AND THE SECRET FAN **@@ Rated PG-13 • Regal Beach Blvd.

This drama follows the friendship of two girls in 19th-century China who develop a secret code to communicate despite strict and separate class lines.

SPY KIDS: ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD **@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Jessica Alba plays Marissa, a retired spy who must juggle raising a family and battling the evil villain Timekeeper (Jeremy Piven) when he tries to take over the world.

30 MINUTES OR LESS *@@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Reviewed in this issue.

TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON @@@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Regal Avenues Director Michael Bay’s addition to this cinematic traffic jam moves along like a 20-car pile-up of special effects, bad acting and slippery story.

WINNIE THE POOH **@@ Rated G • Regal Avenues Disney’s update on A.A. Milne’s beloved children’s story about honey-guzzling Pooh and the rest of the gang in Hundred Acre Wood who play detective when a pal goes missing.

ZOOKEEPER *G@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Regal Avenues This goofy comedy stars Kevin James as Griffin, a lonelyhearted zookeeper who learns the ways of courtship from the caged animals in his care; still a felony in most states.

Co-starring Rosario Dawson, Donnie Wahlberg and the voices of Nick Nolte, Adam Sandler, Cher, Judd Apatow, Jon Favreau, Faizon Love and Don Rickles.

OTHER FILMS LOST ATLAS Kai Neville’s new surf film “Lost Atlas,” featuring Dusty Payne, Julian Wilson, Dion Agius, Owen Right, Craig Anderson, Jordy Smith, Dane Reynolds, Evan Geiselman, Connor Coffin, Kolohe Andino, Yadin Nicol, John Florence, Mitch Coleborn, Chippa Wilson and Dillon Perillo premiers at 6 p.m. on Aug. 27 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340C A1A S., St. Augustine. Live music by Le Blorr,

Sunbears! and Darkhorse Saloon is featured. Admission is free. 209-0366. lostatlasmovie.com

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 082311 FAX series YOUR PROOF SABRINA Summer Movie Classics continues with this IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 1954 romantic film, starring Humphrey Bogart and Audrey benefit Hepburn, at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 27promise and at 2 p.m. of on Aug. 28 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $7.50. 355-2787.

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Ask for Action

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CASABLANCA “Here’s looking at you, kid.” The 1942 classic black-and-white love story/war story, starring the ubiquitous Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Paul Henreid and Peter Lorre, screens at 7 p.m. on Aug. 24 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. Admission is $5; any amount more than $5 is matched by an anonymous donor to WJCT, to support arts in the community. 209-0367. pvconcerthall.com ON GOLDEN POND Would you rather just suck face?

Movies at Main screens this award-winning rom-drama starring Henry Fonda, Katharine Hepburn and Jane Fonda, at 5:45 p.m. on Aug. 25 at Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. Admission is free. 630-1741.

POT BELLY’S CINEMA “Midnight in Paris,” “The Hangover 2” and “The Tree of Life” are shown at Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine. 829-3101.

5 POINTS THEATRE “Life in a Day” screens at 5:30 and 7:15 p.m. on Aug. 23, 24 and 25 at 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. “Repo: The Genetic Opera,” “SXSW: Myth of the American Sleepover,” “Thespians” and “Point Blank” are also screened; check 5pointstheatre.com for showtimes.

359-0047.

WGHOF IMAX THEATER “Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 2, An IMAX 3D Experience” is screened along with “Born To Be Wild 3D,” “The Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D” (featuring Kelly Slater), “Hubble 3D” and “Under The Sea 3D,” at World Golf Hall of Fame Village, 1 World Golf Place, Exit 323 off I-95, St. Augustine. 940-IMAX. worldgolfimax.com

© 2011

NEW ON DVD & BLU-RAY THE CONSPIRATOR Robert Redford’s Civil War-era period piece benefits from an ensemble cast including James McAvoy, Robin Wright and Tom Wilkinson, in an intriguing account of the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.

JANE EYRE Mia Wasikowska, Michael Fassbender, Judi Dench and Jamie Bell star in director Cary Fukunaga’s worthwhile take on Charlotte Brontë’s classic tale of a freethinking, passionate young woman traveling through an unforgiving Britain.

PRIEST Paul Bettany stars as one ass-kicking man of the cloth in this winning action flick that mixes vampires, sci-fi and Westerns into one biting combination.

CHET BAKER: CANDY This 1985 concert captures legendary trumpet player Baker in rare form, with a band that includes multi-instrumentalist Red Mitchell on piano.

© 2010

The cast of the family fun action-flick “Spy Kids: All the Time in the World” give the new “Fat Boys’ Swatch Watch & Old-School-Food-Rapping Museum” their highest accolades.

August 23-29, 2011 | folio weekly | 17

Foli

Jess Ewald

Little Floater: Cursive frontman Tim Kasher discovers that there actually is a cure for the Summertime Blues.

Postcore pioneer Tim Kasher’s softer sound still delivers a powerful message TIM KASHER with FULL BAND, AFICIONADO and BEST OF SYNTHIA Tuesday, Aug. 30 at 8 p.m.

Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach Tickets are $10 460-9311

A

s frontman of post-hardcore darlings Cursive, Tim Kasher is heralded as a painfully revealing, hyper-literate singersongwriter. But in an interview with Folio Weekly, Kasher was surprisingly soft-spoken, struggling to answer questions about his latest solo projects — 2010’s full-length “The Game of Monogamy” and 2011 EP “Bigamy: More Songs from the Monogamy Sessions.”

Of course, that barely contained angst is what first rocketed the Omaha-born Kasher to fame in the ’90s, alongside longtime friend Conor Oberst and their tortured-hearts-onsleeves Saddle Creek Records family.

Cursive has always occupied the heavier end of the emo-rock spectrum, hinting at “emocore” long before the tag denoted eyeliner-wearing teenagers playing bombastic guitar riffs. Meanwhile, Kasher quickly became known for what Pitchfork.com called in 2003 “the worst great voice in indie rock,” all raspy groans, hoarse screams and stilted, self-deprecating shrieks. Which represents the biggest difference between the Cursive sound and Kasher’s subsequent side projects, including The Good Life and his recent solo work. While the lyrics are still incisive and the vocals slightly agonized on “Monogamy” and “Bigamy,” the music is far more folk- and pop-inflected than anything Cursive ever released. In fact, hardcore Cursive fans — some

18 | FOLIO WEEKLY | AUGUST 23-29, 2011

of the most passionate and opinionated in the musical world — gave Kasher plenty of flak for his slower, shaggier solo work. “I have a tendency to go in different directions,” Kasher tells Folio Weekly. “And I would certainly prefer if everybody happily followed me in any direction I tend to go without concern or criticism. But that’s an ideology that I knew would never happen.”

Although the painful examinations of domestic life on “Monogamy” and “Bigamy”

“I would certainly prefer if everybody happily followed me in any direction I tend to go without concern or criticism. But that’s an ideology that I knew would never happen.” might seem informed by Kasher’s encroaching middle age, it’s ground the 37-year-old has covered before. Cursive’s 2000 album “Domestica” was undeniably influenced by Kasher’s bitter divorce, depicting a Norman Rockwellesque couple on the album cover, embracing dejectedly. But maturity has given Kasher a burgeoning sense of humor; the video for upbeat 2010 single “Cold Love” features a frustrated couple sabotaging each other in grossly funny ways — pubic hair on a piece of toast, toothbrushes stuck in unsavory

places — before each works double-time to foil the other’s efforts. “That video came from an unfinished story I had been kicking around for a while,” Kasher says. “And it’s very much based on a lot of domestic experiences I’ve had myself, although it’s certainly not nonfiction. But heinous ideas like that do come to mind sometimes when you’re in a longtime relationship.”

Kasher hasn’t been afraid to shake up his own long-term musical relationships, releasing the first cover in his career (of Azure Ray’s “Trees Keep Growing”) on “Bigamy,” while fondly recalling Cursive’s unlikely 2007 tour with punk superstars Against Me! and metal gods Mastodon. “For the type of genre that Cursive plays in, there really aren’t too many bands that we would necessarily fit in with,” Kasher says. “Which is not to suggest that we’re somehow genre-less. We are under that big umbrella of hard rock, but I understand when people don’t like hard rock. There’s so much of it I don’t like, and it’s kind of a bad genre in some ways. So with Cursive, we try to maintain that it’s not all bad. That hard rock can be a lot of fun, too.”

It must be, since shortly after announcing his current solo tour, Kasher announced that Cursive was entering the studio to record their seventh album, which should appease those hard-rock lovers disappointed by the frontman’s softer solo work. But Kasher insists it’s all part and parcel of his restless desire to continually create music of all shapes and sizes.

“At the very least,” Kasher offers, “I hope people can respect the fact that I have a lot of musical ideas that I want to keep exploring.”

Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com

Jazz numbers: The legendary group Fourplay performs on Sept. 2 at The Florida Theatre.

Smooth Up in Ya

Contemporary jazz heavyweights Fourplay bring their chilled out legacy to Northeast Florida FOURPLAY Friday, Sept. 2 at 8 p.m.

The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville Tickets are $35 and $40 355-2787

N

ortheast Florida lovers of contemporary jazz have learned to equate the legendary quartet known as Fourplay with a totally engaging yet mellow musical experience.

Formed in 1990, Fourplay is celebrating their 20th anniversary with a tour that includes a stop in Jacksonville. Their unique blend of jazz, R&B and pop has enabled the band to sell millions of albums, score a Grammy nod and even get props from the U.S. Congress, which recognized the four-piece in the Congressional record as distinguished members of the music industry. Out of Fourplay’s dozen albums, six have climbed to the peak of Billboard’s Contemporary Jazz Album charts. On their latest effort, “Let’s Touch the Sky” (Heads Up), original members Bob James (keyboards), Nate East (bass/vocals) and Harvey Mason (drums) welcomed the band’s newest addition, guitarist Chuck Loeb.

Folio Weekly caught up with Loeb via phone to chat about his transition from solo artist to bona fide band member, and the group’s smooth take on creative democracy.

Folio Weekly: Will this be your first time in Northeast Florida?

Chuck Loeb: No, I was actually there a few months ago for the Jacksonville Jazz Festival. I play with this band sometimes called Guitarzzz with three z’s. It’s me, Chieli Minucci and Paul Jackson Jr. I’ve been to Jacksonville a few times and always really liked playing there.

F.W.: You’re the newest addition to Fourplay — replacing guitarist Larry Carlton. What projects were you involved in before this?

C.L.: Well, I’ve been a solo artist. I actually just recently released my 16th or 17th solo CD on my own. So I’ve got a pretty good career going as a solo artist. I’ve done a bunch of other gigs. You know, studio work and touring with different bands and different artists. It’s been a lot of different angles. My connection with this band comes from the fact that I worked with Bob James, who is the founder of Fourplay — one of the original founders, but

the guy who really put it together — both as a producer as well as playing together.

F.W.: I imagine your relationship with Bob James made the transition easier.

C.L.: Yeah, it did make it easier. I guess when I first joined the band, there’s always that tendency to kind of compare yourself to the guys who came before you … and the guys kept telling me, “You know, don’t do that. Just be yourself — that’s what we really want you to do.” And they really went out of their way to make me feel comfortable. If anything, it was me putting the pressure on myself.

F.W.: The band recorded its latest album, “Let’s Touch The Sky” (October 2010), not long after you joined the group. What was the recording process like, working with guest vocalists Anita Baker and “American Idol” winner Ruben Studdard?

C.L.: The process was very interesting to me, because you get together and everyone submits their songs beforehand. We got together out in California in the studio and we recorded for about 7 to 10 days. During that time, we had both Anita Baker and Ruben Studdard visit us in the studio and cut their tracks. It was actually a very spontaneous thing with both of those artists — very quick, very spontaneous, and a real burst of creativity. To describe the process, what really amazed me in a way was how democratic it is. Obviously, when you do a project like this, there are many ways that it could go, and when a decision came up, it was really decided in a democratic way. If there was a little bit of dissent about an idea, it was acknowledged and considered very happily. If anyone was feeling a little bit different about a decision, they eventually went along with the majority. We could use some of that in Congress right now.

F.W.: I guess if you ever added a member, you’d have to change the band’s name to Fiveplay or Sixplay.

C.L.: Several friends of mine — when I joined the band — they called me to congratulate me.

Trumpet players and saxophone players would say, “You know, you should consider calling the band Fiveplay” [hinting at being asked to join the band]. I’ve heard that approach a few times. [Laughs.]

Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com AUGUST 23-29, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 19

Stumbling Down the Stares

Local psych rockers Fainted Paces walk the weirdness that they talk FAINTED PACES with OPIATE EYES, KEVIN LEE NEWBERRY, MIKEY’S IMAGINARY FRIENDS Saturday, Aug. 27 at 8 p.m.

Dive Bar, 331 E. Bay St., Jacksonville 359-9090

C

harging their way through the hearts, minds and fried synaptic connections of local music fans comes the self-professed psychedelic “post-jam” rock of Fainted Paces. The lineup — Jordan Aldridge (lead guitar, vocals), Tyler Aldridge (synth, Korg Kaossilator, percussion), Lindsey Tuller (keyboards, organ), Kenny Keating (bass) and Josh Wessolowski (drums) This is a copyright protected proof © — delivers a musically tight yet refreshingly distorted and tripped-out rubbery funk this is a copyright protected proof © of tunes like “No Conformities” and jazzy For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: “Insight.” This young five-piece meltdown of082311 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 (faintedpaces.com) describes their sound as our advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 082311 “new psychedelic indie rock with hints of jazz, LE AT 268-3655 blues, electro and funk” — a mix doubtless PROMISE OF BENEFIT ab MH SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION Produced by ____ Checked ____ Sales Rep ____ informed by theirby mixed musical heritage.

Produced by jw Checked by Sales Rep re sUpport Ask for Action Jordan originally began playing as the solo act Spacecat, with bro Tyler sometimes joining.

Drummer Josh has funked off with bands Late Nite Transfer and Brown Bag Special. Bassist Kenny is currently a jazz major at UNF while Lindsey is an ’09 grad of that school’s acclaimed music program, who has performed solo and with the Jacksonville Symphony Chorus.

Collectively, the band has already blown the minds and shaken the booties of music lovers at various venues around town like Underbelly, Dos Gatos, Landshark Café, The Loft, Club TSI, Sweet Pete’s, Ananda Kula and North Beaches Art Walk. They gig this week at Dive Bar and are performing at Burro Bar on Sept. 6 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

Fainted Paces agreed to have their hive mind picked by Folio Weekly, answering our questions “as one” about the name game, influences and how to avoid strobe light injuries.

ADVERTISING PROOF Advertising proof

Folio Weekly: How did you come up with the band name? Wordplay, Ouija board or deliberate, methodical bouts of unconsciousness?

Fainted Paces: Two of our members are dyslexic and often speak in spoonerisms. The name Fainted Paces is a result of erroris utilis.

Also, fainted paces are a description of trails.

And no, we do not paint our faces.

F.W.: With admitted influences ranging from Led Zep and Dr. Dog to Terry Riley and Weather Report, do you think Fainted Paces are open-minded or possibly suffering from mental illness?

F.P.: Open-minded or mental illness … such extremities. We fall somewhere in the middle, but we like to think we lean more on the openminded side. We all have very different musical backgrounds and each add an eclectic piece to the Fainted Paces puzzle.

20 | FOLIO WEEKLY | AUGUST 23-29, 2011

F.W.: The tracks on your site feature some extended jamming by the band — are Fainted Paces in fact a jam band?!

F.P.: Not in the traditional sense. While post-jam is more accurate, we strive for

purposefulness. The songs we perform live are thoroughly composed. Some of the recordings we currently have up are from improv sessions, which is a part of our compositional process.

F.W.: Since the band features two Aldridge brothers, had you ever considered calling yourselves The Aldridge Brothers Band and possibly penning a song called, “Tripping Ghost”?

F.P.: No. Ha. F.W.: Do you feel any affinity with (or hostility toward) any other local acts?

F.P.: Opiate Eyes is quite striking and are considerably tasteful local talents that have produced numerous soundtracks for our lives.

Also we have grown fond of the local duo Neighbors. There has been a notable recent rise in our city’s creative voice; we all feed off of each other and contribute to the collective consciousness.

F.W.: Which has been a bigger influence on the group: Transcendental Meditation or Transdermal Medication?

F.P.: More like transcendental medication.

But really, you want some marshmallow pie?

Apparently rocking horse people dig it.

F.W.: Has anyone in the group suffered any seizures from strobe lights yet, i.e., Butthole Surfers Syndrome?

F.P.: No strobes on our lobes; we use friendly projectors and lasers.

F.W.: Could you explain the band’s logo — which resembles the artwork of a deranged mind working with a “Spirograph,” then topped off with a slice of bell pepper? Is it the new equivalent of Led Zep’s “ZoSo”?

F.P.: ZoSo logo, no-go. The cauliflower, a naturally occurring fractal, represents the idea of interconnectivity, and the geometry overlaying it is the Flower of Life, the creation pattern for all matter. Together symbolizing all is one. We love our veggies, Spirographs and sanity.

Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

CONCERTS THIS WEEK MATISYAHU, TREVOR HALL Hasidic hip-hop king Matisyahu performs at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 23 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. Advance tickets are $27.50; $30 day of show. 209-0399.

WET NURSE, LIFEFORMS, UNITED TYLERS OF TYLER, THE PRESCRIPTION Orlando garage rockers Wet Nurse perform at 9 p.m. on Aug. 23 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville.

Admission is $3. 353-4692.

MIKE SHACKELFORD Beaches fave Shackelford plays at 5 p.m. on Aug. 24 at Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595.

JOHNSTON DUO This acoustic act appears at 6:30 p.m. on Aug. 24 at Casa Marina Hotel & Restaurant, 691 N. First St., Jax Beach. 270-0025.

ELIOT LIPP, VIRTUAL BOY Electro artist Lipp performs at 8 p.m. on Aug. 24 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $15. 246-2473.

THE CHOP TOPS, THE ROCKETZ, THE STRIKERS, KINGS OF HELL This night of garage rock and rockabilly kicks off at 8 p.m. on Aug. 24 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville.

Tickets are $8. 398-7496.

CLAYTON BUSH Singer-songwriter Bush plays at 8 p.m. on Aug. 24 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Jacksonville.

854-6060.

STEEL MAGNOLIA This country act appears at 6 p.m. on Aug. 25 at Mavericks Rock N’ Honky Tonk Concert Hall, 2 Independent Drive, Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $12.50; $17.50 day of show. Upstairs tickets are $20. 356-1110.

BUCKSMITH PROJECT These area players hit the stage at 6 p.m. on Aug. 25 at Pusser’s Bar and Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. 280-7766.

TAMMERLIN The local Americana group plays at 8 p.m. on Aug. 25 at European Street CafĂŠ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville.

Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740.

AARON SHEEKS Area artist Sheeks is in at 8 p.m. on Aug. 25 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, Jacksonville. 854-6060.

YEARLING, TERRA TERRA TERRA, A CALL FOR FIVES The indie rockers play at 8 p.m. on Aug. 25 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $8. 398-7496.

WOODY & THE PECKERS This musical group with the mirthful moniker plays at 9 p.m. on Aug. 25 at the Copper Top Restaurant,

1712 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. 249-4776.

WALTER AND MADELINE HILL The musical duo plays at 9 p.m. on Aug. 25 at The Pier Restaurant & Lounge, 412 N. First St., Jax Beach. 246-6454.

DAPPER DOWN, TIM THE INVADER, THE GENERAL, STIRLEEN GUNN Local heavy hitters play at 9 p.m. on Aug. 25 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850.

BLISTUR Area rockers Blistur play at 9 p.m. on Aug. 25 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park. 246-0611.

REDEMPTION ROAD, ROBERT LESTER FOLSOM & the RLF BAND, ONE20ONE, PRISCILLA COURET Faith-based rock starts at 7 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8; $10 at the door. 388-3179.

THE EMPEDIMENTS These regional rockers are on at 6 p.m. on Aug. 26 at The Groove CafĂŠ, 128 Sea Grove Town Center, St. Augustine Beach. 547-2740.

RED AFTERNOON Music in the Courtyard presents this adult alternative band at 7 p.m. on Aug. 26 at 200 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-2922.

ROCKER FEST with ALLELE, BLEEDING IN STEREO, STAYNE THEE ANGEL, DAILISS, A NEW DECREE The area rockers perform at 7 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10 in advance. 223-9850.

BERES HAMMOND This Reggae Romeo performs at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Plush, 845 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. Tickets are $24.99 and $50. 743-1845.

JENNIFER CHASE Singer-songwriter Chase performs at 6:30 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Pizza Palace, 920 Margaret St., Five Points, 598-1212. Chase plays at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Pizza Palace, 1959 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 399-8815.

THE APPLESEED CAST, HOSPITAL SHIPS, WILD LIFE SOCIETY Kansas-bred emo rockers The Appleseed Cast perform at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 398-7496.

DANNY KENT Musician Kent plays at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Pusser’s Bar & Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. 280-7766.

CUTTER The local rockers are on at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Yesterday’s Social Club, 3638 Park St., Jacksonville. 387-0502.

MATT COLLINS Solo artist Collins plays at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, Jacksonville.

854-6060.

OUT OF HAND Rockers Out of Hand deal out some music at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26 and 27 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd.,

Orange Park. 246-0611.

TOBACCO PAT, GOSPEL MUSIC, CANDY LEE, WHETHERMAN, ROBIN RĂœTENBERG, ADAM BALBO The indie rock kicks off at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville.

Admission is $5. 353-4692.

HILLVALLEY CD Release Party with HELLO DANGER, SPEAKING CURSIVE Local rockers HILLValley celebrate their new release at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $8. 246-2473.

LIFT Local guitar hero Alfredo Linsangan and the boys in LIFT hit the stage at 9 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Hammerheads Grill, 12400 Yellow Bluff Road S., Jacksonville. 240-0373.

MR. NATURAL Beaches faves play at 9 p.m. on Aug. 26 and 27 at Sun Dog Diner, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-8221.

WES COBB Singer-songwriter Cobb plays at 9 p.m. on Aug. 26 at The Pier Restaurant & Lounge, 412 N. First St., Jax Beach.

246-6454.

THE RIDE This band hits the stage at 9 p.m. on Aug. 26 and 27 at Cliff’s Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Road, Jacksonville. 645-5162. kLoB The eclectic combo plays at 9 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010.

CSS BAND This local group performs at 10 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Will Pearsall appears at 11:45 a.m. on Aug. 27 at Riverside Arts Market, held under the Fuller Warren Bridge at Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville. 554-6865.

FAINTED PACES with OPIATE EYES, KEVIN LEE NEWBERRY, MIKEY’S IMAGINARY FRIENDS This night of primo local indie music starts at 8 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Dive Bar, 331 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. 359-9090.

BILLY BUCHANAN This local artist plays at 8 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, Jacksonville.

854-6060.

CATHOUSE This metal group, featuring members of Spittin’ Kitten, performs at 8 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Yesterday’s Social Club, 3638 Park St., Jacksonville. 387-0502.

CHARISE OROZCO, TAVIE BASARICH, LAUREN ELISE Indie rock is served piping fresh at 8 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $8. 398-7496.

MICHAEL GARRETT Singer-songwriter Garrett plays at 8 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Pusser’s Bar & Grille, 816 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach.

280-7766.

PEYTON BROTHERS The bluegrass pickers hit it at 8 p.m. on Aug. 27 at European Street CafĂŠ, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville.

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Hello Danger/ Speaking CurSive SATURDAY AUGUST 27

Ivan CD Release PaRty Koffi / Reco SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 3

Bobby Lee Rodgers Bonnie Blue/Chroma SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 10

Endless Summer Reggae Bash feat:

THE ROOTS DUB ROCKERS Mystic Dino/Stitchlus/Wookie J. SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 17

Blackwater pre-party feat:

GREENHOUSE LOUNGE/ FLiGHt RiSk Lucky costeLLo/VLad the InhaLer TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 20

The Family Vacation Tour feat:

ATMOSPHERE

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Sat-

Mighty Madvans - 9:30pm ACOUSTIC AFTERNOONS 5-9 P.M.

Sun-

Reggae Sunday 5-9 P.M.

FRIDAY OCTOBER 7

GLITCH MOB SATURDAY OCTOBER 8

The Leid Back Tour feaT:

IRATION

Tomorrows Bad seeds Through The rooTs SATURDAY OCTOBER 15

The People & Things Tour feat:

JACK’S MANNEQUIN

MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK Company of Thieves SUNDAY OCTOBER 16

THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS MONDAY OCTOBER 17

REVEREND HORTON HEAT Supersuckers/Dan Sartain WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 19

UNDEROATH/ COMEBACK KID The Chariot/This Is Hell UPCOMING SHOWS 10-21: Â U2 by UV (U2 Tribute band) 10-23: Â Tribal Seeds 10-29: Â Mommies Little Monsters (Social D. trib) 11-8: Â Â All Time Low/The Ready Set 12-11: Â Skrillex/12th Planet/2 Fresh

August 23-29, 2011 | folio weekly | 21

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740.

IVAN CD Release Party with KOFFI, RECO These local players bust out their new album at 8 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $8. 246-2473.

SPLIT DECISION Rockers Split Decision rock your face off at 9 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Hammerheads Grill, 12400 Yellow Bluff Road S., Jacksonville. 240-0373.

GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE These Beaches bluegrass barons play at 9 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Copper Top Restaurant, 1712 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. 249-4776.

CONNECTED HOUSES The jam rockers hit it at 9 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. 2nd St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010.

GOLIATH FLORES This multi-instrumentalist performs at 1 p.m. on Aug. 28 at Three Layers CafĂŠ, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville.

355-9791.

BROKEN END STEREO These rockers storm the stage at 6 p.m. on Aug. 28 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville.

Tickets are $10. 223-9850.

MICHAEL FUNGE Funge performs Irish music at 6:30 p.m. on Aug. 28 at Culhane’s Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595.

DARYL HANCE Former Mofro guitarist and swamp rocker Hance performs at 8 p.m. on Aug. 28 at Landshark CafĂŠ, 1728 Third St. N., Jax Beach. 246-6024.

BREAD & BUTTER The band serves tasty tunes at 9 p.m. on Aug. 28 at Sun Dog Diner, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-8221.

TIM KASHER with FULL BAND, AFICIONADO, BEST OF SYNTHIA Cursive frontman Kasher performs at 8 p.m. on Aug. 30 at CafĂŠ Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach.

Tickets are $10. 460-9311.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

FOURPLAY Sept. 2, The Florida Theatre POLYGONS CD Release Party Sept. 3, Jack Rabbits JOHN VANDERSLICE Sept. 3, CafÊ Eleven HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS Sept. 4, Jack Rabbits GUTTERMOUTH, TNT, SYNCODESTROYO, POOR RICHARDS Sept. 8, Jack Rabbits JERROD NIEMAN Sept. 8, Mavericks Rock N’ Honky Tonk Concert Hall BETH McKEE BAND Sept. 8, European Street CafÊ DAYS OF THE NEW Sept. 9, Brewster’s Pit DELBERT McCLINTON Sept. 10, The Florida Theatre

TOOTS LORRAINE & THE TRAFFIC Sept. 12, Mojo Kitchen CHRIS CAGLE Sept. 14, Whisky River WISHING WELL, CHRIS MILLAM Sept. 15, European Street CafÊ PAT TRAVERS Sept. 16, Brewster’s Pit DAN ANDRIANO (ALKALINE TRIO) Sept. 16, CafÊ Eleven AMELIA ISLAND BLUES FESTIVAL Sept. 16 & 17, Fernandina Beach QUIET RIOT Sept. 17, Brewster’s Pit FLEET FOXES, THE WALKMEN Sept. 20, The Florida Theatre ATMOSPHERE Sept. 20, Freebird Live TAB BENOIT Sept. 20, Mojo Kitchen ELVIS COSTELLO Sept. 21, The Florida Theatre INCUBUS Sept. 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SEAN McGUINNESS, KEITH HARKIN Sept. 22, Culhane’s Irish Pub JJ GREY SOLO ACOUSTIC Sept. 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MATT POND PA, ROCKY VOLOLATO Sept. 24, CafÊ Eleven LANGHORNE SLIM, WOBBLY TOMS Sept. 27, CafÊ Eleven ENTER THE HAGGIS Sept. 28, CafÊ Eleven LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM Oct. 3, The Florida Theatre TAPES ’N TAPES, HOWLER, SUNBEARS! Oct. 5, CafÊ Eleven 3 DOORS DOWN, THEORY OF A DEADMAN, POPEVIL Oct. 5, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JUNIOR BOYS Oct. 7, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THOMAS WYNN & THE BELIEVERS Oct. 7, Mojo Kitchen PETER FRAMPTON Oct. 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GLITCH MOB Oct. 7, Freebird Live DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE Oct. 7, The Florida Theatre RALPH STANLEY Oct. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall IRATION, TOMORROWS BAD SEEDS Oct. 8, Freebird Live DURAN DURAN, NEON TREES Oct. 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GALEN KIPAR, SALTWATER GRASS Oct. 13, Mojo Kitchen AN HORSE Oct. 15, Underbelly JACK’S MANNEQUIN Oct. 15, Freebird Live NEW PORNOGRAPHERS Oct. 16, Freebird Live REV. HORTON HEAT, SUPERSUCKERS Oct. 17, Freebird Live ELECTRIC SIX, KITTEN Oct. 19, Jack Rabbits UNDEROATH, COMEBACK KID Oct. 19, Freebird Live REGINA CARTER Oct. 20, The Florida Theatre BIG D & THE KIDS TABLE Oct. 21, Jack Rabbits ERIC CULBERSON Oct. 22, Mojo Kitchen EASTON CORBIN Oct. 27, Mavericks Rock N’ Honky Tonk

Concert Hall COREY SMITH Oct. 28, The Florida Theatre THE GIN BLOSSOMS Oct. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MOMMIES LITTLE MONSTERS Oct. 29, Freebird Live YOUTH BRIGADE, OLD MAN MARKLEY Oct. 31, CafÊ Eleven NIGHT RANGER Nov. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall QUEENSRYCHE Nov. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TAYLOR SWIFT Nov. 11, Veterans Memorial Arena BEAR CREEK MUSIC FEST Nov. 11-13, Spirit of Suwannee Music Park NNENNA FREELON & EARL KLUGH Nov. 11, Church of the Good Shepherd JOHN FOGERTY Nov. 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE FAB FOUR Nov. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall RIDERS IN THE SKY Nov. 18, The Florida Theatre MAC MILLER, PAC DIV, CASEY VEGGIES Nov. 23, The Florida Theatre SKILLREX, 12th PLANET, TWO FRESH Dec. 11, Freebird Live JJ GREY & MOFRO, YANKEE SLICKERS Dec. 29, Mavericks Rock N’ Honky Tonk Concert Hall MICHAEL FEINSTEIN Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre

• CLUBS • AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

BEECH STREET GRILL, 801 Beech St., 277-3662 John Springer every Fri. & Sat., every other Thur. Barry Randolph every Sun. CAFE KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269 Live music in the courtyard at 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., at 5 p.m. every Sun. DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 kLoB at 9:30 p.m. on Aug. 26. Connected Houses at 9 p.m. on Aug. 27. Live music every weekend GENNARO’S ITALIANO SOUTH, 5472 First Coast Hwy., 491-1999 Live jazz from 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Dan Voll from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Live music every weekend INDIGO ALLEY, 316 Centre St., 261-7222 Dan Voll & the Alley Cats at 8 p.m. every Sat. Frankie’s Jazz Jam at 7:30 p.m. every Tue. Open mic at 7 p.m. every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. O’KANE’S IRISH PUB, 318 Centre St., 261-1000 Dan Voll at 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Turner London Band at 8:30 p.m. every Thur., Fri. & Sat.

THE PALACE SALOON & SHEFFIELD’S, 117 Centre St., 491-3332 BSP Unplugged every Tue. & Sun. Wes Cobb every Wed. DJ Heavy Hess, Hupp & Rob every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Miguel Alvarez in Sheffield’s every Fri. DJ Heavy Hess every Sat. Cason every Mon. PLAE, 80 Amelia Circle, Amelia Island Plantation, 277-2132 Gary Ross from 7-11 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6990 Cason at 2 p.m. at the tiki bar every Sat. & Sun. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Kent Kirby on Aug. 23. Stevie Fingers on Aug. 25 & 30. Reggie Lee on Aug. 26. Richard Smith on Aug. 27. Richard Stratton at noon, Reggie Lee at 5 p.m. on Aug. 28. Gary Keniston on Aug. 29. DJ Roc at 5 p.m. every Wed.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

AJ’S BAR & GRILLE, 10244 Atlantic Blvd., 805-9060 DJ Sheryl every Thur., Fri. & Sat. DJ Mike every Tue. & Wed. Karaoke every Thur.

MEEHAN’S TAVERN, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5, 551-7076 Trunk Monkeys at 9 p.m. on Aug. 26. Karaoke every Wed. Live music every Fri. Open mic every Wed. MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. PLUSH, RAIN, LAVA, 845 University Blvd. N., 745-1845 Beres Hammond at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26. DJ Massive spins top 40 in Rain every Wed., DJs spin Latin every Fri.; house & techno in Z-Bar every Fri. TONINO’S TRATTORIA & MARTINI BAR, 7001 Merrill Rd., 743-3848 Alaina Colding every Thur. W. Harvey Williams at 6 p.m. every Fri. Signature String Quartet every Sat. VIP LOUNGE, 7707 Arlington Expressway, 619-8198 Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Wed. Reggae every Thur. Live music every Fri. Old school jams every Sat. A DJ spins every Sun.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BRICK RESTAURANT, 3585 St. Johns Ave., 387-0606 Duet every Wed. Goliath Flores and Sam Rodriguez every Thur. Bush Doctors every 1st Fri. & Sat. Live jazz every Fri. & Sat. THE CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. 3rd Bass every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith spins for Karaoke every Tue. DJ Free spins vintage every Fri. ELEVATED AVONDALE, 3551 St. Johns Ave., 387-0700

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For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 082311 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 San Marco : PROMISE OF BENEFIT

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r 7PO #BSMPX T Jazz Journey

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r 5BNNFSMJO X Darren Ronan, 5SFZ "OESFXT BOE 1IJMJQ 1BO

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#FBDI #MWE

MON: ITALIAN DINNER SPECIALS Starting at $4.99, $6 Domestic Pitchers, $3 Gatorades WED: $5 Long Island Pitchers, $4 Margaritas & Martinis THURS: PRESEASON FOOTBALL! $5 Margarita Pitchers, $3 Jack Daniels & Jim Beam FRI: BOOGIE FREAKS 8:30PM til Late - JAGER PROMO SAT: JAGS vs. BILLS

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22 | FOLIO WEEKLY | AUGUST 23-29, 2011

r +PIO 5IPNBT +B[[

CAFE 11

TONY D’S NEW YORK PIZZA & RESTAURANT, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 322-7051 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri.

BEACHES

Singer-songwriter Wes Cobb performs on Aug. 26 at 9 p.m. at The Pier Restaurant & Lounge, 412 N. First St., Jax Beach. 246-6454.

Karaoke with Dave Thrash every Wed. DJ 151 spins hip hop, R&B, old-school every Thur. DJ Catharsis spins lounge beats every 1st & 4th Sat. Patrick Evan & CoAlition every Industry Sun. MOJO NO. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670 Live music every Fri. & Sat. TOM & BETTY’S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Live music every Fri. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

THE COFFEE GRINDER, 9834 Old Baymeadows Rd., 642-7600 DJ Roy Luis spins new & vintage original house at 9 p.m. every Thur.

MY PLACE BAR-N-GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Rd., 737-5299 Out of Hand every Mon. Rotating bands every other Tue. & Wed. OASIS GRILL & CHILL, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 748-9636 DJs Stan and Mike Bend spin every Feel Good Fri.

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) THE ATLANTIC, 333 N. First St., 249-3338 The Infader spins every Wed. DJ Wes Reed spins every Thur. DJ Jade spins old wave & ’80s retro, SilverStar spins hip hop every Fri. DJ Wes Reed spins ’80s, old school, remixes & mashups, Capone spins top 40 & dance faves every Sat. BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD, 120 S. Third St., 444-8862 Kurt Lanham sings classical island music every Fri.-Sun. BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Billy Bowers at 5:30 p.m. on Aug. 25. 4Play at 6 p.m. on Aug. 26.

El Camino at 5:30 p.m. on Aug. 27. Incognito at noon, Jimmy Parrish at 6 p.m. on Aug. 28. The Benn for open mic every Wed. BLUES ROCK CAFE, 831 N. First St., 249-0007 Live music every weekend.

THE BRASSERIE, 1312 Beach Blvd., 249-5800 Live music every Wed. & Thur.

BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 DJ Anonymous every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Live music every Wed. DJ IBay every Fri. & Sat. Charlie Walker every Sun. CARIBBEE KEY, 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach, 270-8940 Peter Dearing from 9 p.m.-mid. on Aug. 23. Mark O’Quinn on Aug. 24. Alex Seier on Aug. 25. Sweet Low Down on Aug. 26.

Paul Lundgren Band on Aug. 27. Mark O’Quinn on Aug. 28 CASA MARINA, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Johnston Duo on Aug. 24. Toots Lorraine & the Traffic on Sept. 7 COPPER TOP, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-4776 Woody & the Peckers for Bike Nite on Aug. 25. DJ Thomas NeeSounds on Aug. 26. Grandpa’s Cough Medicine on Aug. 27. Karaoke with Billy McMahan from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. Open mic every Wed. THE COURTYARD, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Red Afternoon at 7 p.m. on Aug. 26 CRAB CAKE FACTORY, 1396 Beach Blvd., Beach Plaza, 247-9880 Live jazz with Pierre & Co. every Wed. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Michael Shackelford from 5-7 p.m. on Aug. 24. CSS Band at 10 p.m. on Aug. 26. Ruby Beach at 6 p.m., Jax Pipes & Drums at 7:30, Karaoke with Hal at 10 p.m. on Aug. 27. Michael Funge at 6:30 p.m. on Aug. 28. Jazz Nite at 7 p.m. on Aug. 30 DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 311 Third St. N., 853-5004 Live music at 9 p.m. on Aug. 28. Open mic every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Reggae every Sun. Karaoke every Mon.

ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY, 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337 Chris C4Mann on Aug. 25. Live music every Thur.

EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001 John Thomas from 5-8 p.m. on Aug. 28 FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB, 333 First St. N., 242-9499 Live music every Tue.-Sun. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Nate Holley every Mon. Wes Cobb every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. King Eddie reggae every Sun. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Elliot Lipp and Virtual Boy on Aug. 24. HILLValley CD release party with Hello Danger and Speaking Cursive at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26. Ivan CD release party with Koffi and Reco at 8 p.m. on Aug. 27 ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Aaron Sheeks at 8 p.m. on Aug. 24. DiCarlo Thompson on Aug. 25. Colton McKenna at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26. Matt Collins at 9:30 p.m. on Aug. 27. Dave Hendershott at 8 p.m. on Aug. 28 LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024 Daryl Hance at 8 p.m. on Aug. 28 LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Roger That on Aug. 26 & 27. Split Tone at 10:30 p.m. every Tue. Nate Holley Band every Wed. Ryan Campbell every Thur. Video DJ & Karaoke every Sun. Little Green Men every Mon. MAYPORT TAVERN, 2775 Old Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 270-0801 Live music at 3 p.m. every Sun. Open mic at 5 p.m. every Wed. DJ Jason hosts Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., Ste. 2, 246-1500 The Fritz on Aug. 23. Bread & Butter on Aug. 24. Danka on Aug. 25. BBS on Aug. 26. Delta Dave on Aug. 30. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon at 6 p.m. every Tue. Mike Shackelford and Rick Johnson at 6 p.m. every Thur.

MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Toots Lorraine & the Traffic at 10 p.m. on Sept. 12 MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Wes Cobb at 10 p.m. every Tue. DJ Austin Williams spins dance & for Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Wed., Sat. & Sun. DJ Papa Sugar spins dance music at 9 p.m. every Mon., Thur. & Fri. NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Live music nightly NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

MOJOS

Mon: 2-4-1 Selected Cans Tues: All U Can Drink Draft 1 Person $15, 2 people $20/Karaoke Wed: Bike Night, Happy Hour All Day Thurs: Karaoke, Free Draft for Ladies 9pm-1am, Mix Drinks 2 for $5 Fri & Sat: DJ Dave Sat: Ladies $5 All U Can Drink Draft starts at 9pm Sun: Happy Hour All Day/Karaoke Come Knock Your Boots Off 12405-7 N. Main St. | 647-7798

Wednesday Will Pearsall Thursday Lyons Friday & Saturday Oversized Load Sunday Domenic Patruno Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD #FBDI t AUGUST 23-29, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 23

Welcome to Folio Weekly’s 20th annual Best of Jax readers poll!

You can vote online at folioweekly.com (just click on the “Best of Jax” button) or fill out a paper ballot (see rules at bottom).

As is true every year, participants can vote ONE TIME ONLY. And since this is a local poll of local readers conducted by a local paper, we ask that you nominate only LOCAL winners.

Look for the complete list of winners in our annual Best of Jax issue, which hits the streets on Tuesday, Oct. 11. And, as always, thanks for reading Folio Weekly!

Politics/ Important Stuff/ News & The Media

Best Concert of ’11 ________________________________________________________________

Best Thing to Happen to Northeast Florida in 2011 __________________________________________

Best Live Music Club _______________________________________________________________

Worst Thing to Happen to Northeast Florida in 2011 _________________________________________

Best Dance Club __________________________________________________________________

Local Hero ______________________________________________________________________

Best Gay/Lesbian Club ______________________________________________________________

Local Zero ______________________________________________________________________

Best Gentleman’s Club ______________________________________________________________

Best Local Scandal ________________________________________________________________

Best DJ (name & club) ______________________________________________________________

Best Power Play __________________________________________________________________

Best New Club ____________________________________________________________________

Best-Looking Local Politico __________________________________________________________

Best Comedy Club _________________________________________________________________

Best Environmental Activist __________________________________________________________

Best Local Actor/Actress _____________________________________________________________

Best Local Volunteer Effort ___________________________________________________________

Best Athlete in Northeast Florida _______________________________________________________

Best Money Pit ___________________________________________________________________

Best Place to See Live Sports _________________________________________________________

Best Local Trend __________________________________________________________________

Best Place to Canoe or Kayak _________________________________________________________

Best Local Wacko _________________________________________________________________

Best Camping ____________________________________________________________________

Best Righteous Crusader ____________________________________________________________

Best Bowling Alley _________________________________________________________________

Best Local College _________________________________________________________________

Best Surf Spot ____________________________________________________________________

Best Local Environmental Abomination ___________________________________________________

Best Skate Spot ___________________________________________________________________

Best Tourist Trap __________________________________________________________________

Best Place to Bike _________________________________________________________________

Best Farmers Market _______________________________________________________________

Best Fishing Spot __________________________________________________________________

Best Wifi Spot ____________________________________________________________________

Best Park _______________________________________________________________________

Best Reason to Love Northeast Florida ___________________________________________________

Best Outdoor Festival ______________________________________________________________

Best Reason to Hate Northeast Florida ___________________________________________________

Best Community Theater ____________________________________________________________

Best Local News Story of 2011 ________________________________________________________ Best Folio Weekly Cover Story of 2011 ___________________________________________________

Shopping/ Health & Beauty

Best Local Blog ___________________________________________________________________

Best Bike Shop ___________________________________________________________________

Best Local News Website ____________________________________________________________

Best Surf Shop ___________________________________________________________________

Best Local Twitter Account ___________________________________________________________

Best Skate Shop __________________________________________________________________

Best Local Investigative Reporter _______________________________________________________

Best Record Store _________________________________________________________________

Best TV Anchor ___________________________________________________________________

Best Dive Shop ___________________________________________________________________

Best TV Newscast _________________________________________________________________

Best Wine Store ___________________________________________________________________

Best-Looking Talking Head ___________________________________________________________

Best Liquor Store __________________________________________________________________

Best TV Weather Forecaster __________________________________________________________

Best Local Florist __________________________________________________________________

Best TV Sports Anchor ______________________________________________________________

Best Vintage/Consignment Store _______________________________________________________

Best Local TV Morning Show __________________________________________________________

Best Clothing Store ________________________________________________________________

Best Local Radio Personality __________________________________________________________

Best Hospital ____________________________________________________________________

Best Local Sports Radio Personality _____________________________________________________

Best Nurse _____________________________________________________________________

Best Local Radio Station _____________________________________________________________

Best Local Bookstore _______________________________________________________________

Best Local Radio Show ______________________________________________________________

Best Jewelry Store _________________________________________________________________

Best Lawyer (name & firm) ____________________________________________________________

Best Smoke Shop _________________________________________________________________ Best B&B in Jacksonville ____________________________________________________________

Arts & Entertainment/ Sports & Outdoors

Best B&B in St. Augustine ____________________________________________________________ Best B&B in Amelia Island ___________________________________________________________

Best Local Artist __________________________________________________________________

Best Hairstylist (name & salon) ________________________________________________________

Best Art Exhibit of 2011 _____________________________________________________________

Best Tattoo Studio _________________________________________________________________

Best Museum ____________________________________________________________________

Best Yoga Studio __________________________________________________________________

Best Gallery _____________________________________________________________________

Best Health Food Store _____________________________________________________________

Best Art Walk ____________________________________________________________________

Best Plastic Surgeon (name & office) ____________________________________________________

Best Local Musician ________________________________________________________________

Best Day Spa ____________________________________________________________________

Best Place to Attend a Concert ________________________________________________________

Best Health Club/Gym ____________________________________________________________

24 | folio weekly | August 23-29, 2011

Eating & Drinking Out

Best Pizza on Amelia Island ___________________________________________________________

Best Restaurant in Jacksonville ________________________________________________________

Best Pizza in Jacksonville ____________________________________________________________

Best Restaurant in St. Augustine _______________________________________________________

Best Pizza in St. Augustine ___________________________________________________________

Best Restaurant on Amelia Island ______________________________________________________

Best Pizza in OP/Fleming Island ________________________________________________________

Best Restaurant in OP/Fleming Island ___________________________________________________

Best Chicken Wings ________________________________________________________________

Best New Restaurant _______________________________________________________________

Best Smoothie ___________________________________________________________________

Best Restaurant to Impress a Date _____________________________________________________

Best Yogurt Shop __________________________________________________________________

Best Restaurant When Someone Else is Paying _____________________________________________

Best Chowder ____________________________________________________________________

Best Meal for $10 (for chain restaurants, give location) _______________________________________

Best Hot Dog _____________________________________________________________________

Best Chef (name & restaurant) ________________________________________________________

Best Sub _______________________________________________________________________

Best Waiter/Waitress (name & restaurant) ________________________________________________

Best Dessert _____________________________________________________________________

Best Caribbean Restaurant ___________________________________________________________

Best Breakfast ____________________________________________________________________

Best Italian Restaurant ______________________________________________________________

Best Bagel ______________________________________________________________________

Best Chinese Restaurant ____________________________________________________________

Best Burrito ______________________________________________________________________

Best Thai Restaurant _______________________________________________________________

Best Barbecue ____________________________________________________________________

Best Mexican Restaurant ____________________________________________________________

Best Steak _______________________________________________________________________

Best Indian Restaurant ______________________________________________________________

Best Neighborhood Bar on Amelia Island _________________________________________________

Best Japanese Restaurant ___________________________________________________________

Best Neighborhood Bar in Jax _________________________________________________________

Best Middle Eastern Restaurant _______________________________________________________

Best Neighborhood Bar in St. Augustine __________________________________________________

Best Vegan or Vegetarian Restaurant ____________________________________________________

Best Neighborhood Bar in OP/Fleming Island _______________________________________________

Best Organic Restaurant ____________________________________________________________

Best Bartender (name & restaurant) _____________________________________________________

Best All You Can Eat _______________________________________________________________

Best Beer Selection ________________________________________________________________

Best Coffeehouse _________________________________________________________________

Best Margarita ____________________________________________________________________

Best Deli _______________________________________________________________________

Best Martini _____________________________________________________________________

Best Fish Camp __________________________________________________________________

Best Mojito ______________________________________________________________________

Best Tapas ______________________________________________________________________

Best Bar Food (restaurant name) _______________________________________________________

Best Seafood ______________________________________________________________________

Best Wine List (restaurant name) _______________________________________________________

Best Sushi ______________________________________________________________________

Best Pub or Brew Pub ______________________________________________________________

Best Burger on Amelia Island _________________________________________________________

Best Sports Bar ___________________________________________________________________

Best Burger in Jacksonville ___________________________________________________________

Best Bar After Work ________________________________________________________________

Best Burger in St. Augustine __________________________________________________________

Best Bar When You’re Out of Work ______________________________________________________

Best Burger in OP/Fleming Island _______________________________________________________ Qualified participants 18 and older will be entered for a chance to win a stylin’ new bike, courtesy of Open Road Bicycles!

If you choose to vote on a paper ballot, it must be delivered by hand or mailed to: Folio Weekly / Best of Jax Readers Poll / 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 NO photocopies accepted. ONE BALLOT PER PERSON. Paper ballots must be mailed singly, or hand-delivered singly. Bulk deliveries will not be counted.

Ballots must be received by 12 noon on Friday, Sept. 2 and must have at least 30 completed entries. The following information is required on all ballots: Name ____________________________________________________ Age ________ Address ________________________________________________________________ City State ZIP Phone number (for contest notification only) _________________________________ E-mail ___________________________________________________________________ Best of Jax winners will be announced in Folio Weekly’s Oct. 11 and 18 issues.

August 23-29, 2011 | folio weekly | 25

OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Live music every weekend THE PIER RESTAURANT, 445 Eighth Ave. N., 246-6454 Walter & Madeline Hill on Aug. 25. Wes Cobb on Aug. 26. DJ Code Red on Aug. 27. Darren Corlew from 2-7 p.m. every Sun. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Will Pearsall on Aug. 24. Lyons on Aug. 25. Oversized Load on Aug. 26 & 27. Domenic Patruno on Aug. 28 RITZ LOUNGE, 139 Third Ave. N., 246-2255 DJ Jenn Azana every Wed.-Sat. DJ Ibay every Sun. RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 320 N. First St., 270-8565 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. SUN DOG, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 241-8221 Open mic on Aug. 23. Buck Smith on Aug. 24. Chuck Nash Duo on Aug. 25. Mr. Natural on Aug. 26 & 27. Bread & Butter on Aug. 28. Billy Buchanan on Aug. 29. Live music every Wed.-Mon. THE WINE BAR, 320 N. First St., 372-0211 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

DOWNTOWN

BURRO BAR, 228 E. Forsyth St., 353-4692 Wet Nurse, Lifeforms, United Tylers of Tyler and The Prescription on Aug. 23. Tobacco Pat, Gospel Music, Candy Lee, Whetherman, Robin Rütenberg and Adam Balbo on Aug. 26. DJ Tin Man spins reggae & dub every Tue. DJ SuZi-Rok spins synthpop, dance punk, neopychedelia, dream pop, lo-fi, shoe-gaze, post-punk, emo, indieelectronica, glam electro, electro-punk, noise rock and garage every Thur. $Big Bucks DJ Crew$ every Sat. Bert No Shirt & Uncle Jesse every Sun. DJ Chef Rocc spins hip hop & soul every Sun. CITY HALL PUB, 234 Randolph Blvd., 356-6750 DJ Skillz spins Motown, hip hop & R&B every Wed. Live music every Tue. & Thur. Smooth Jazz Lunch at 11 a.m., Latin music at 9 p.m. every first Fri.; Ol’ Skool every last Fri. CLUB TSI, 333 E. Bay St. DJs SuZi-Rok, LowKill, Alex Pagan, Rob Boggs & Tanner on Aug. 25. Live music every weekend DE REAL TING CAFE, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 DJs Mix Master Prince, Pete, Stylish, Big Bodie play reggae, calypso, R&B, hip hop and top 40 every Fri. & Sat. DIVE BAR, 331 E. Bay St., 359-9090 Fainted Paces With Opiate Eyes, Kevin Lee Newberry and Mikey’s Imaginary Friends at 8 p.m. on Aug. 27. Live music every weekend DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth, 354-0666 DJ Synsonic spins every Tue. & Fri. DJ Rockin’ Bones spins every Wed. DJ Scandalous spins every Sat. DJ Randall Karaoke every Mon.

THE JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Barrett Jockers Band from 7 p.m.-mid. on Aug. 26.

Lyons at 7 p.m. on Aug. 27. Florida’s Next Superstar from 4-8 p.m. on Aug. 28 THE IVY ULTRA BAR, 113 E. Bay St., 356-9200 DJs 151 The Experience & C-Lo spin every Rush Hour Wed. DJ E.L. spins top 40, South Beach & dance classics every Pure Sat. MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Vinn spins top 40 for ladies nite every Thur. Ritmo y Sabor every Fiesta Fri. BayStreet mega party with DJ Shotgun every Sat. MAVERICKS ROCK N’HONKY TONK, The Jacksonville Landing, 356-1110 Steel Magnolia on Aug. 25. Bobby Laredo spins every Thur. & Sat. Saddle Up every Sat. NORTHSTAR THE PIZZA BAR, 119 E. Bay St., 860-5451 Open mic night from 8:30-11:30 p.m. every Wed. THE PEARL, 1101 N. Main St., 791-4499 DJs Tom P. & Ian S. spin ’80s & indie dance every Fri. DJ Ricky spins indie rock, hip hop & electro every Sat. ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 John Earle on Aug. 24. Wits End on Aug. 25. Rebecca Day on Aug. 27. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MERCURY MOON, 2015 C.R. 220, 215-8999 DJ Ty spins for ladies’ nite every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Buck Smith Project every Mon. Blistur unplugged every Wed. RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 406 Old Hard Rd., Ste. 106, 213-7779 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Karaoke on Aug. 24. Cowford County on Country Night at 9 p.m. on Aug. 25. All About Me at 5 p.m., Bad Assets at 9:30 p.m. on Aug. 26.

Tony Neal at 5:30 p.m., Mighty Vans at 9:30 p.m. on Aug. 27.

Reggae on the deck at 5 p.m. on Aug. 28. DJ BG every Mon.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

BREWSTER’S PIT, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Dapper Down, Tim The Invader, The General and Stirleen Gunn on Aug. 25. Allele, Bleeding In Stereo, Stayne Thee Angel, Dailiss and A New Decree on Aug. 26. Broken End Stereo on Aug. 28 BREWSTER’S PUB, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Open mic every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Randal & live music every

RIVER CITY

26 | FOLIO WEEKLY | AUGUST 23-29, 2011

Thur., Fri. & Sat. A DJ spins every Mon. BRUCCI’S PIZZA, 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36, 223-6913 Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Sat. and Mon. CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 The Ride on Aug. 26 & 27. Karaoke every Tue. DJ Kevin for ladies nite every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Jack at 9 p.m. every Sun. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22, 220-6766 Boogie Freaks at 8:30 p.m. on Aug. 26. Str8Up at 8:30 p.m. on Aug. 27. The Karaoke Dude at 8 p.m. every Mon. Live music outside for Bike Night every Thur.

Live music every Fri. & Sat.

JULINGTON CREEK, NW ST. JOHNS

HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 683-1964 Live music at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. SHANNON’S IRISH PUB, 111 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-9670 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

MANDARIN

AW SHUCKS OYSTER BAR & GRILL, 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd., 240-0368 Open mic with John O’Connor from 7-10 p.m. every Wed. Cafe Groove Duo, Jay Terry & John O’Connor, from 8-11 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Sat. CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 11475 San Jose Blvd., 262-4337 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Karaoke from 9 p.m.-1 p.m. Mon.-Thur. Dennis Klee & the World’s Most Talented Waitstaff every Fri. & Sat. THE NEW ORLEANS CAFE, 12760 San Jose Blvd., 880-5155 Jazz on the Deck 7-10 p.m. with Sleepy’s Connection every Tue. Open mic with Biker Bob at 7:30 p.m. every Thur. Les B. Fine at 1 p.m. every Reggae Sun. Creekside Songwriters Showcase at 7 p.m. on the last Wed. each month RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing, 262-4030 Craig Hand every Sat. Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Sun. SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE, 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16, 538-0811 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 1580 Wells Rd., 269-4855 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. & Sat. CRACKERS LOUNGE, 1282 Blanding Blvd., 272-4620 Karaoke every Fri. & Sat.

PIER

What’s in a name? Eclectic rockers kLoB perform on Aug. 26 at 9 p.m. at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010.

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. PARK AVENUE BILLIARDS, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Blistur from 9 p.m.-1 a.m. on Aug. 27. Random Act from 7:3011:30 p.m. on Aug. 29 & every Monday Bike Nite THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Blistur on Aug. 25. Out Of Hand on Aug. 26 & 27. DJ Waldo every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar every Wed. Buck Smith Project every Mon.

PALATKA

DOWNTOWN BLUES BAR & GRILLE, 714 St. Johns Ave., (386) 325-5454 Gong Karaoke with Buffalo at 8 p.m. on Aug. 25. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. Garage Band at 8 p.m. every Fri. Jam & open mic at 4 p.m. every Biker Sunday.

PONTE VEDRA

NINETEEN at SAWGRASS, 110 Championship Way, 273-3235 Time2Swing at 6 p.m. every Thur. Strings of Fire every Sat. PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766 Bucksmith Project at 6 p.m. on Aug. 25. Danny Kent at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26. Michael Garrett at 8 p.m. on Aug. 27. Live reggae at 4 p.m. on Aug. 28. Live music every Thur.-Sun. URBAN FLATS, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 High Tides of Jazz at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 25. Evans Brothers at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 26.

Barrett Jockers Band on Aug. 27. Darren Corlew every Tue. Soulo & Deron Baker at 6 p.m. every Wed.

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

HJ’S BAR & GRILL, 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., 317-2783 Karaoke with DJ Ron at 8:30 p.m. every Tue. & DJ Richie at every Fri. Live music every Sat. Open mic at 8 p.m. every Wed. KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Ray & Taylor every Thur.

Robby Shenk every Sun. LOMAX LODGE, 822 Lomax St., 634-8813 DJ Dots every Tue. Milan da Tin Man every Wed. DJ Christian every Sat. DJ Spencer every Sun. DJ Luminous every Mon. METRO, 2929 Plum St., 388-8719 DJ Chadpole every Fri. & Sat. Karaoke with KJ Rob every Sun., Mon. & Tue. THE MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Ascend the Hill, Alexander and Lights of Evening at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 24. Redemption Road, Robert Lester Folsom & the RLF Band, one20one and Priscilla Couret at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 26. Northe, Set Apart, I Anthem, Seeking Serenity and Soul of Sirens at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 27 WALKERS, 2692 Post St., 894-7465 Jax Arts Collaborative every Tue. Patrick & Burt every Wed. DJ Jeremiah every Thur.

Acoustic every Thur.-Sat. Dr. Bill & His Solo Practice of Music at 5 p.m. every Fri. YESTERDAY’S SOCIAL CLUB, 3638 Park St., 387-0502 Cutter at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26. Cathouse at 8 p.m. on Aug. 27

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 Deron Baker on Aug. 25, 26 & 27 AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 1915 A1A S., 461-0102 Fermin Spanish guitar from 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Smokin Joe on Aug. 23. Huskey Burnette at 6:30 p.m. on Aug. 26. Rick Welch at 1 p.m., Huskey Burnette at 8:30 p.m. on Aug. 27. Karaoke at 8 p.m. on Aug. 28 THE BRITISH PUB, 213 Anastasia Blvd., 810-5111 Karaoke with Jimmy Jamez at 9 p.m. on Aug. 26, with DJ Alex on Aug. 27. A DJ spins on Aug. 28. Open mic night with TJ on Aug. 29 CAFE ELEVEN, 540 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Tim Kasher with Full Band, Aficionado and Best of Synthia at 8 p.m. on Aug. 30

CELLAR UPSTAIRS, San Sebastian Winery, 157 King St., 826-1594 Billy Buchanan & Free Avenue at 7 p.m. on Aug. 26.

Domenic Patruno at 2 p.m., Rick Levy & the Falling Bones at 7 p.m. on Aug. 27. Vinny Jacobs at 2 p.m. on Aug. 28 CHICAGO PIZZA & BAKERY, 107 Natures Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700 Greg Flowers hosts open-mic and jazz piano from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Fri. CONCH HOUSE LOUNGE, 57 Comares Ave., 829-8646 Brad Newman at 6 p.m. on Aug. 25. Aaron Sheeks at 3, Jerry Melfi at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 26. Humanzee & Preston Pohl at 3, Reggie Lee Lester at 8 p.m. on Aug. 27. De Lions of Jah from 3-7 p.m. on Aug. 28. Brad Newman every Thur. Live music at 3 p.m. every Sat. CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chelsea Saddler every Sun. FLORIDA CRACKER CAFE, 81 St. George St., 829-0397 Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizard at 5:30 p.m. every Wed. THE GROOVE CAFE, 128 SeaGrove Town Ctr., St. Augustine Beach, 547-2740 The Empediments at 6 p.m. on Aug. 26 HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Stu Weaver every Mon. JACK’S BARBECUE, 691 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-8100 Jim Essery at 4 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Thur.-Sat. KING’S HEAD BRITISH PUB, 6460 U.S. 1, 823-9787 Mike Sweet from 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

KOZMIC BLUZ PIZZA CAFE & ALE, 48 Spanish St., 825-4805 Live music every Fri., Sat. & Sun. MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Open jam nite with house band at 8 p.m. every Wed. Battle of the DJs with Josh Frazetta & Mardi Gras Mike every last Sun. MEEHAN’S IRISH PUB, 20 Avenida Menendez, 810-1923 Live music every Fri. & Sat. MI CASA CAFE, 69 St. George St., 824-9317 Chelsea Saddler noon-4 p.m. every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Elizabeth Roth at noon every Sun. MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 The Seiners at 9 p.m. on Aug. 26 & 27. Katherine Archer at 1 p.m. on Aug. 28. Vinny Jacobs every Tue. Todd & Molly Jones every Wed. Colton McKenna at 9 p.m. every Thur.

Will Pearsall at 9 p.m. every Mon. THE REEF, 4100 Coastal Hwy., Vilano Beach, 824-8008 Richard Kuncicky from 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. every Sun. SANGRIAS PIANO BAR, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Soul Searchers every Wed. Jim Asalta every Thur. Jazz every Fri. The Housecats every Sat. Sunny & the Flashbacks every Sun. SCARLETT O’HARA’S, 70 Hypolita St., 824-6535 Lil Blaze & DJ Alex hosts Karaoke every Mon. THE TASTING ROOM, 25 Cuna St., 810-2400 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger from 5-8 p.m. every Sun. TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Red River Band at 8:30 p.m. on Aug. 26 & 27. Mark Hart every Mon.-Wed. Open mic every Thur. Mark Hart & Jim Carrick every Fri. Elizabeth Roth at 1 p.m., Mark Hart at 5 p.m. every Sat. Keith Godwin at 1 p.m., Wade at 5 p.m. every Sun. Matanzas at 9 p.m. Sun.-Thur.

ZHANRAS, 108 Anastasia Blvd., 823-3367 Deron Baker & Soulo every Tue. DJ Cep spins ’80s & disco every Sun. Vinny Jacobs open mic every Mon.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN

AROMAS CIGARS & WINE BAR, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 101, 928-0515 Live jazz from 8-11 p.m. every Tue. & Wed. Live music every College Nite Thur. Piano bar with Will Hurley from 9 p.m.-1 a.m. in Main Lounge; DJ in Ice Bar every Fri. Guitarist Bill Rice at 9 p.m. every Sat. Salsa every Sun. BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466 Live music from 2-7 p.m. every Sun. THE GRAPE, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-7111 Live music

every Fri. & Sat. John Earle every Mon. DJ Mikeology every Thur.

JOHNNY ANGELS, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120, 997-9850 Karaoke from 7-10 p.m. every Sat. with Gimme the Mike DJs ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Clayton Bush at 8 p.m. on Aug. 24. Aaron Sheeks at 8 p.m. on Aug. 25 & 31. Matt Collins at 9:30 p.m. on Aug. 26.

Billy Buchanan at 9:30 p.m. on Aug. 27 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 997-1955 Kurt Lanham on Aug. 24. Captain Redbeard & Stinky E on Aug. 25. Rocco Blu Band on Aug. 26. Bread & Butter on Aug. 27. Billy Buchanan on Aug. 28. Open mic nite every Tue. SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 Chuck Nash every Thur. Live music at 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Marvel on Aug. 25 & 26. Nova on Aug. 27. Live music every Tue.-Sat. URBAN FLATS, 9726 Touchton Rd., 642-1488 Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHISKY RIVER, 4850 Big Island Drive, 645-5571 A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Karaoke every Mon.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

ENDO EXO, 1224 Kings Ave., 396-7733 DJ J-Money spins jazz, soul, R&B, house every Fri. DJ Manus spins top 40 & dance every Sat. Open mic with King Ron & T-Roy every Mon. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 399-1740 Von Barlow’s Jazz Journey at 8 p.m. on Aug. 23.

Tammerlin with Darren Ronan, Trey Andrews and Philip Pan at 8 p.m. on Aug. 25. Jazz every 2nd Tue. HAVANA-JAX CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609 MVP Band from 6-9 p.m., DJs No Fame & Dr. Doom every Wed. Jazz every Thur. DJ Omar spins dance every Fri. DJs Harry, Rico & Nestor spin salsa every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 The Chop Tops, The Rocketz, The Strikers and Kings of Hell on Aug. 24. Yearling, Terra Terra Terra and A Call for Fives on Aug. 25. Appleseed Cast, Hospital Ships and Wild Life Society on Aug. 26. Charise Orozco, Tavie Basarich and Lauren Elise on Aug. 27 MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger at 7 p.m. every Thur.

SQUARE ONE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 306-9004 Soul on the Square & Band of Destiny at 8 p.m. every Mon. John Earle Band every Tue. DJs Wes Reed & Matt Caulder spin indie dance & electro every Wed. Split Tone & DJ Comic every Thur.

SAA

SOUTHSIDE

AROMAS, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 101, 928-0515 Live jazz from 8-11 p.m. every Tue. & Wed. Live music from 8-11 p.m. every Thur. Piano Bar with Will Hurley from 9 p.m.-1 a.m., a DJ spins till close every Fri. Bill Rice at 9 p.m. every Sat. Salsa every Sun. BOMBA’S, 8560 Beach Blvd., 997-2291 Open mic from 7-11 p.m. with Chris Hall every Tue. & every first Sun. Live music at 8 p.m. every Fri., at 6 p.m. every Sat. & at 5 p.m. every Sun. CORNER BISTRO & Wine Bar, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 1, 619-1931 Matt “Pianoman” Hall at 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717 The Peyton Brothers at 8 p.m. on Aug. 27 LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 DJ Jun Bug at 9 p.m. on Aug. 25. Sentropolis at 8:30 p.m., VJ Shotgun at 11 p.m. on Aug. 26. Sugarbear at 8:30 p.m., VJ Josh Frazetta at 11 p.m. on Aug. 27. Your Jax Music open mic every Wed. Whyte Python every Flashback Fri. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOOTS-N-BOTTLES, 12405 N. Main St., Ste. 7, Oceanway, 647-7798 Karaoke every Tue., Thur. & Sun. with DJ Dave. Open mic every Wed. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4073 Big Engine every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. ’70s every Tue. HAMMERHEADS GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., 240-0373 LIFT on Aug. 26. Split Decision on Aug. 27. Live music every Fri. & Sat. RIVERCITY ISLAND GRILL & CHILL, 13141 City Station Drive, 696-0802 Paul Lundgren Band at 6 p.m. on Aug. 26 SKYLINE SPORTSBAR & LOUNGE, 5611 Norwood Ave., 517-6973 Bigga Rankin & Cool Running DJs every Tue. & 1st Sun. Fusion Band & DJ every Thur. DJ Scar spins every Sun. THREE LAYERS CAFE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Open mic nite with Al Poindexter at 7 p.m. on Aug. 25. Goliath Flores at 1 p.m. on Aug. 28 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Rd., 647-8625 Open mic at 8 p.m. every Thur. Woodie & Wyatt C. every Fri. Live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. To be included in the live music listing, send all the vitals — time, date, location with street address, city, admission price and contact number — to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email events@folioweekly.com. Live music listings are included on a space-available basis.

August 23-29, 2011 | folio weekly | 27

© 2011

FolioWeekly

© 2011

28 | FOLIO WEEKLY | AUGUST 23-29, 2011

Folio

Sorry, wrong number: “Phones, 2005” by Melanie Pullen

Bodies of Work

Photographer Melanie Pullen combines fashion, murder and imagination into one lethal image PROJECT ATRIUM: MELANIE PULLEN PHOTO EXHIBIT HIGH FASHION CRIME SCENES Museum of Contemporary Art, 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville The exhibit is on display through Nov. 6 366-6911 mocajacksonville.org

E

very picture tells a story, but some tales are darker than others. Los Angeles-based photographer Melanie Pullen has earned national attention for her ability to capture shadowy moments in light, including features in The New York Times Magazine, L.A. Times and Vogue. Her recent series, “High Fashion Crime Scenes,” is no exception. In celebration of her first local exhibit, at The Museum of Contemporary Art, Pullen visited in July to discuss her work.

Folio Weekly caught up with her to chat about vintage crime scenes, high fashion and shooting models covered in blood.

Folio Weekly: Your “High Fashion Crime Scenes” series is focused on 1940s and 1950s Los Angeles crime scenes. How did you get interested in this subject?

Melanie Pullen: It really came out of my own increasing desensitization to violent imagery.

Once, when going through art books in a little bookstore in Los Angeles, I accidentally came across a book of crime scenes documented from 1912-1950. I found myself looking at everything but the crimes. I noticed the details in the photos, what the victims were wearing, the lighting, etc. When driving home later that night, it hit me that I had been looking at horrible crime scenes, violent murders and tragic deaths.

F.W.: How did you find actual crime-scene images to replicate in your shoots?

M.P.: Well, it was a long process. I had to go to the chief of police in Los Angeles and ask him for permission. I found some amazing images and heard fascinating stories. I became really good friends with the head of the coroner’s office. He was fascinated with [the exhibit] and came to most of my openings in Los Angeles.

F.W.: I’ve read you frequently enlist the help of up to 60 people per shoot. How do you fund a project that large?

M.P.: That’s one of the great things about living in Hollywood. If you’re working on a project that is interesting, there’s no lack of great talent to help you out. Most people waive their fees for the project just to work on the shoots. I get some of the best stunt people, makeup artists

“I wanted people to notice everything except the crime – so that the last thing you notice is the violence.” and talent. It’s an amazing town filled with great artists who are willing to come together to help make a project happen.

F.W.: Who are some of the models used in the series?

M.P.: Most of them are high-fashion models.

Some are actresses like Juliette Lewis and Rachel Miner. I wanted people to notice everything except the crime — so that the last thing you notice is the violence. It’s a cat-and-

mouse game with the audience constantly moving their attention around to all the wrong places. I hope to take people through that sensation of realizing how desensitized they’ve become and grow curious as to why — exactly what I went through in the bookstore several years ago.

F.W.: What’s the craziest thing that’s happened on one of your shoots?

M.P.: Once, I was shooting a model in the snow — way up in the mountains. She was in a wooden barrel. It was far away from where anyone lived, way up on a service road. The model was about 500 feet away from me in a large field of deep snow. It was freezing and snowing. I was standing on a ladder off to the side. Suddenly, a large Cadillac came rolling around the turn. It had blacked-out, tinted windows and shiny rims. It pulled up really slowly and all four windows went down. It was a car with four of the scariest men I’ve ever seen. They were definitely gang members — covered in tattoos. They stopped and were all looking at me with kind of evil stares and then slowly they all turned and looked out to the field with the body and then again turned to me grinned and nodded, threw me gang signs, rolled up their windows and drove up the road. My heart had stopped. I don’t think I was breathing for at least a minute.

I was sure they were going to do something horrible, but when they saw the body in the field, they somehow decided I was OK. My assistant was videoing the whole thing from the car. It was an amazing moment. I don’t know what they were up to going up that road but I can only guess.

Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com August 23-29, 2011 | folio weekly | 29

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PHOTOJAX 2011 is accepting entries for inclusion in “5 x 500: Community Camera Phone Project,” a communityresponse art project showcasing camera phone imagery. Images must be taken locally from a cell phone and should reflect the theme “River City, Sand and Sea.” 500 winning entries are to be projected for five seconds, beginning at 8:30 p.m. on Sept. 16, on the façade of the Museum of Contemporary Art, 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. Submissions must include image title, type of cell phone used, name, address and phone number. Images must be 72 dpi. Send to photojax5x500@gmail.com

PERFORMANCE THE LONESOME WEST Players by the Sea presents Martin McDonagh’s dark comedy about two Irish brothers at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26 and 27 at 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $20; $17 for seniors, military and students. 249-0289.

OUR TOWN Theatre Jacksonville presents Thornton Wilder’s classic tale of small-town America at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 25, at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26 and 27 and at 2 p.m. on Aug. 28 at 2032 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $15; $10 for students.

396-4425.

DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents this hilarious dark comedy, about a pair of con men who get a little comeuppance, at 8 p.m. Aug. 23-28, at 1:15 p.m. on Aug. 27 and at 2 p.m. on Aug. 28 at 12000 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville.

Tickets range from $42-$49. 641-1212.

SECOND SAMUEL The Limelight Theatre presents this touching Southern comedy at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 25, 26 and 27 and at 2 p.m. on Aug. 28 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $25; $22 for seniors; $20 for military and students.

825-1164.

MURDER MYSTERY DINNER THEATER St. Augustine Murder Mystery Dinner Theater stages nightly performances of “Murder at Café Noir” at 6:30 p.m. at Ramada in Historic Downtown, 116 San Marco Ave. Tickets are $43.15; $35.15 for children. 671-2508.

MURDER IN THE OLDE CITY The Limelight Theatre presents this dinner theater whodunit at 5:30 p.m. on 28 at The Raintree Restaurant, 102 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $39.95.

825-1164.

© 2011

30 | FOLIO WEEKLY | AUGUST 23-29, 2011

FolioWeekly CALLS & WORKSHOPS RITZ YOUTH GROUP SEEKS MUSICIANS The Ritz Sound & Vocal Performers (RSVP) auditions vocalists and musicians ages 12-18 from 5:30-7:30 p.m. on Aug. 29 and 30 at The Ritz Theatre & LaVilla Museum, 829 N. Davis.

St., Jacksonville. Musicians should be prepared to play major scales; vocalists should prepare to sing one stanza of “Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing” along with a personal selection that shows vocal range. Participants must have at least a 2.0 GPA. 632-5555.

CARMINE’S PIE HOUSE SEEKS ARTISTS This Riverside pizzeria seeks 15 neighborhood-based artists to create original work on the walls and floors of the eatery.

Artwork must be themed around equality, acceptance, peace, neighborhood, unity, etc. Deadline for portfolio submission is Sept. 1. 387-1400.

FLORAL WATERCOLOR WORKSHOP Watercolorist Jennie Szaltis holds a rose painting workshop on Aug. 26-28 at Trends Home Décor, 3919 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Class fee is $175. 525-3959. Register at jennie@jenniesgallery.com HOW TO SELL YOUR ART The Art Center Cooperative presents Linda O’Connell’s workshop on the business principles of selling original

artwork from 10 a.m.-noon on Aug. 27 at 229 Hogan St., Jacksonville. Class fee is $25; free to members. 355-1757. tacjacksonville.org “5 X 500”: COMMUNITY CAMERA PHONE PROJECT PHOTOJAX 2011 accepts entries for inclusion in “5 x 500,” a community-response art project showcasing camera phone imagery. Submit images taken locally from a cell phone utilizing the theme “River City, Sand and Sea.” 500 winning entries are projected for five seconds, beginning at 8:30 p.m. on Sept. 16, on the façade of the Museum of Contemporary Art, 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. Submissions include image title, type of cell phone used, name, address and phone number. Images must be 72 dpi. Send to photojax5x500@gmail.com CALL TO ARTISTS The Jacksonville Fine Arts Festival seeks original poster artwork for its festival to be held in Avondale’s Boone Park on March 24 and 25, 2012. The winning submission gets a free 10x10 exhibitor’s space. Send 300 dpi submissions, including name and media, to cookied@ix.netcom.com ABET FALL CHILDREN’S WORKSHOPS Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre offers dramatic classes “Story-Makers” (Grades 1 & 2) from 9:15-10:45 a.m. on Aug. 27 and every Sat. through Oct. 22. Class fee is $200. “Drama Dreamers” (Grades 3-7) is held from 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. on Aug. 27 and every Sat. through Nov. 19. Class fee is $250. Both classes culminate in videotaped performances held on Nov. 19 and 20. Classes are held at 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-7177. Register at abettheatre.com ORANGE PARK THEATRE AUDITIONS Orange Park Community Theatre auditions for its production of Katherine DiSavino’s comedy “Nana’s Naughty Knickers” at 2 p.m. on Aug. 28 and 7 p.m. on Aug. 29 at 2900 Moody Ave., Orange Park. The cast calls for 10 men and women (ages 20-80). The play runs Oct. 28-Nov. 19. 443-2633.

NUTCRACKER AUDITIONS The St. Augustine Ballet auditions for its production of the holiday classic “The Nutcracker” at 8:30 a.m. on Aug. 27 at Abella’s School of Dance, 1765 Tree Blvd., St. Augustine.

Dancers ages 8 and older may audition in proper attire: black leotard, pink tights with hair pulled back in a bun for females, black pants and a white shirt for males. Bring a photo. Non-refundable $25 audition fee. Performances are held Dec. 17 and 18. 810-5670. staugustineballet.com “THE CHILDREN’S HOUR” AUDITIONS ABET auditions for its production of Lillian Hellman’s drama about a scandal at a girl’s boarding school at 7 p.m. on Aug. 26 and 1 p.m. on Aug. 27 at 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach.

The cast calls for five females (ages 25-65), seven females (12-14) and two males (ages 20-35.) The play is staged Oct. 28-Nov. 12. 249-7177. abettheatre.com CALL FOR YOUTH AND ADULT ARTISTS The Cyprian Center for Expressive Arts requests submissions from young (12-17) and adult artists in various media for its inaugural Celebrate Peace art exhibit. Work should reflect a peace theme. Mail or drop off entries: 130 Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., St. Augustine FL 32084. Entry fee is $10 per piece (maximum three per artist.) Deadline is 3 p.m. on Aug. 31.

Show opens Sept. 21. 829-8828. cypriancenter.org CALLING ALL SHAG DANCERS The First Coast Shag Club meets every Wed. at 7 p.m. at River City Brewing Company, 835 Museum Circle,

Jacksonville. Intermediate and beginners are welcome.

398-2299. firstcoastshagclub.com

CLASSICAL & JAZZ VON BARLOW’S JAZZ JOURNEY Drummer Barlow leads his combo at 8 p.m. on Aug. 23 at European Street Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville.

Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740.

BACH SONATA Cellist Joseph Engel and harpsichordist Henson Markham perform Bach’s “Sonata for cello and harpsichord” at 10:45 a.m. on Aug. 28 at Unitarian Universalist Church, 7405 Arlington Expressway, Jacksonville. 725-8133.

JOHN THOMAS COMBO Pianist Thomas leads his group at 5 p.m. on Aug. 28 at European Street Café, 992 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville.

399-1740 JAZZ IN RIVERSIDE Trumpeter Ray Callendar and guitarist Taylor Roberts perform at 7 p.m. every Thur. at Kickbacks Gastropub, 910 King St., Jacksonville. 388-9551.

JAZZ AT TREE STEAKHOUSE Boril Ivanov Trio performs at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum performs at 7 p.m. every Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. 262-0006.

JAZZ AT GENNARO’S Gennaro’s Ristorante Italiano features live jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at 5472 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach. 491-1999.

JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie features live jazz nightly at 7 p.m. at 66 Hypolita St., St. Augustine. 825-0502.

ART WALKS & FESTIVALS UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT Galleries, antique stores and shops are open from 5-9 p.m. on Aug. 27 in St. Augustine’s San Marco District.

824-3152.

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts & crafts and local produce are offered every Fri. from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive. 353-1188.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET The Arts Market is held from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. beneath the Fuller Warren Bridge on Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville and features local and regional artists, strolling performers, bands and a farmers market. Admission is free.

554-6865, 389-2449. riversideartsmarket.com

MUSEUMS CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville, 356-6857. Mixed media artist Annette Jones is the featured Artist in the Store from 5-7 p.m. on Aug. 23. Drop-In Art, a weekly art class held from 5-6 p.m. on Aug. 23 and 30, gives kids ages 4-10 the chance to explore the galleries and create their own art. Fee is $5 per child. The social networking group the Up & Cummers present “What is Art? Street Art” from 6:30-9 p.m. on Aug. 23. Tickets are $25; $15 for members.

The class “Painting Fundamentals” is held from 1:30-5 p.m. on Aug. 24 and every Wed. through Sept. 7. All levels welcome. Class fee is $188; $168 for members. The exhibit, “Ralph H. & Constance I. Wark Collection of Early Meissen Porcelain,” is displayed through Dec. 31. The restored Tudor Room gallery is open through Dec. 31.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Jacksonville, 356-2992. Jim Smith’s “Eureka! Steampunk at the Karpeles” is on display through Sept. 30 and features 20 surreal assemblages.

“Spiritualism,” featuring manuscripts of Harry Houdini’s and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s, is on display through Aug. 27. The permanent collection features a variety of rare manuscripts. Open Tue.-Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sat. 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 366-6911. Photographer Melanie Pullen’s exhibit “High Fashion Crime Scenes” is featured in Project Atrium through Nov. 6. Christina West’s exhibit, “What a Doll: The Human Object as Toy,” runs through Aug. 28. “Stranger in Paradise: The Works of Reverend Howard Finster” runs through Aug. 28. Family Fun Free Day is held from noon-4 p.m. every Sun. Open Tue.Sun. mocajacksonville.org RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville, 632-5555. Auditions for the youth group RSVP are held from 5:30-7:30 p.m. on Aug. 29 and 30. An exhibit celebrating local African-American athletes and sports figures, “More Than a Game: AfricanAmerican Sports in Jacksonville, 1900-1975,” is currently on display. “Lift Ev’ry Voice in LaVilla,” an exhibit of African-American history in Jacksonville, is on permanent display. Admission is $8 for adults, $5 for children, students and seniors. Open Tue.-Sun.

GALLERIES ADELE GRAGE CULTURAL CENTER 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828. Painter Diana Patterson’s exhibit “Not So Long Ago” is on display through Sept. 8.

ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 2, Atlantic Beach, 249-2222. Terese Marie Muller is the featured artist through Aug. THE ART CENTER PREMIER GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. The opening reception for the “Inter-dimensional Photography and Sculpture Exhibit” is held from 5-7 p.m. on Aug. 25.

THE GROOVE CAFE 128 SeaGrove Town Center, St. Augustine Beach, 547-2740.

Rita Kenyon is the featured artist through Sept.

ISLAND ART ASSOCIATION 18 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7020. The juried theme show “It’s 5 O’Clock Somewhere” is on display through Sept.

SIMPLE GESTURES GALLERY 4 White St. E., St. Augustine, 827-9997. This eclectic gallery presents a Student Art Show, featuring work by five local students, created from elementary school age to college freshman, through Sept. 2.

VAULT GALLERY + ARTSPACE 121 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville, 608-1590. The exhibit “Blackboard Variations,” featuring works by Northeast Florida art teachers in various media, is featured through Aug. Proceeds from all work sold replace funds lost during this year’s budget cuts.

W.B. TATTER STUDIO GALLERY 76 A San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 823-9263. Painter Katherine Marsh’s “Feathers” is the featured exhibit during Uptown Saturday Night from 5-9 p.m. on Aug. 27.

For a complete list of galleries, log on to folioweekly.com. To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email dbrown@folioweekly.com. Events are included on a spaceavailable basis.

Von Barlow’s Jazz Journey performs on Aug. 23 at 8 p.m. at European Street Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. A longtime player on the local music scene, drummer Von Barlow has performed with artists such as Etta James, Bobby “Blue” Bland and Bobby Hutcherson. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740.

AUGUST 23-29, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 31

EVENTS BACK TO SCHOOL BASH Celebrate the return to school from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Jacksonville Ice & Sportsplex, 3605 Philips Highway, Southside. Instructors offer free ice hockey and learn-to-iceskate clinics. Games, bounce houses and prizes are featured.

Admission is free; a suggested donation of $5 benefits Dreams Come True. 399-3223.

FARMERS MARKET GROUP Residents hoping to launch a farmers market this October at Lincolnville’s Eddie Vickers Field host Friends of the Farmers Market from 6-8 p.m. on Aug. 25 at Global Wrap, 218 Riberia St. at Kings Ferry Way, St. Augustine. Live music and hors d’oeuvres are featured. 806-4508.

CRAFT BEER TASTING Taste more than 50 craft beers including Shipyard, Magic Hat, Leinenkugels and Sea Dog, at 6 p.m. on Aug. 31 at ABC Fine Wine & Spirits, 295 Royal Palm Drive, Atlantic Beach. Local restaurants, including North Beach Bistro, offer samples of beer-friendly foods. Admission is $10.

246-8343.

TWILIGHT MOVIE IN THE PARK “Toy Story 3” is screened at 7 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Sunrise Community Church, 298 Aquatic Dr., Atlantic Beach.

Admission is free. Bring blankets, lawn chairs and snacks.

Kids’ activities and refreshments are featured. 247-5828. coab.us/events BRIDAL SHOW The summer-fall Bridal Fantasy Show is held at 1 p.m. on Aug. 28 at Sawgrass Marriott Resort & Spa, 1000 PGA Tour Blvd., Ponte Vedra. Prizes, giveaways, food, vendors, wedding professionals and fashions are featured. Tickets are $10; $7 in advance online and $25 VIP. (800) 577-6009. jacksonvilleweddingstyles.com CHEER HAND-CRAFTED ALES This hand-crafted ale-tasting event is held from 7-11 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Aloft Hotel, 4812 Deer Lake Dr. W., Jacksonville.

Local and regional breweries showcase their wares and The Art Institute Culinary Academy prepares cuisine to pair with the beers. A special commemorative ale is offered, a collaboration between Bold City Brewery and Green Room Brewery. Admission is $40 in advance, $50 at the door.

Proceeds benefit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. jax365.com/ cheer-2011 MUSIC BY THE SEA The free concert series continues with Smokin’ Mirrors from 7-9 p.m. on Aug. 24 at the Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. Each week, an area restaurant offers meals for less than $10. The series runs each Wed. through Sept. 28. 471-1686. staugbchcivicassoc.com CONCERTS IN THE PLAZA Triple Rock Blues Band plays at 7 p.m. on Aug. 25 under the oaks at Plaza de la Constitución, located between Cathedral Place and King Street, St. Augustine. The free concerts continue through Sept. 5. Bring lounge chairs. staugustinegovernment.com/sites/concerts-plaza COSMIC CONCERTS Laser shows are Laseropolis at 5 p.m., Laser Vinyl at 6 p.m., Laser X at 7 p.m. and Metallica at 8 p.m. on Aug. 26 in Bryan-Gooding Planetarium, at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Online tickets are $5.

396-7062. moshplanetarium.org RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Will Pearsall performs on Aug. 27 at Riverside Arts Market, held under the Fuller Warren Bridge on Riverside Avenue, downtown. Local and regional artists, a water taxi and a farmers market from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. Admission is free. 554-6865. riversideartsmarket.com BEACH TUG-OF-WAR The 14th annual Tug-of-War & Pool Party fundraiser is held from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Holiday Inn, 860 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. Teams can sign up for $10. Music, food, kids’ activities, prizes and a silent and live auction are featured. Proceeds benefit Give Kids the World Village and Surfers for Autism organizations.

471-2555.

POLITICS & ACTIVISM LEGAL AID FREE CLINICS Jacksonville Area Legal Aid offers free clinics, with no appointment necessary, at 126 W. Adams St., Jacksonville.

Topics are: Bankruptcy at 5 p.m. on the first Thur. each month; Consumer Rights at 5 p.m. on the first Wed. each month; Emancipation at 5 p.m. on the first Wed. each month; Child Support Modification at 5:30 p.m. on the second Thur. of each month; Dissolution of Marriage at 5:30 p.m. on

32 | folio weekly | August 23-29, 2011

the fourth Thur. of each month. Small Claims Court at 5:30 p.m. on the second Tue. of each month at Duval County Courthouse, 330 E. Bay St., Room 505, Jacksonville. The Foreclosure and Home Ownership clinic requires a sign-up, call 356-8371 ext. 362. In Nassau County, a Consumer Law Clinic is offered at the Nassau County Courthouse in Yulee. A sign-up is required; call (904) 356-8371, ext. 307. jaxlegalaid.org JACKSONVILLE JOURNEY The oversight committee of this crime-fighting initiative meets at 4 p.m. on Aug. 29 in Suite 400, Mayor’s Large Conference Room, City Hall at St. James, 17 W. Duval St., Jacksonville. 630-1273.

COMMUNITY INTEREST MOSH AFTER DARK Partnering with St. Johns Riverkeeper, the museum offers a rain barrel workshop from 6-8 p.m. on Aug. 25 at Museum of Science and History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. The workshop is $55 per barrel for one; additional guests are $5.

Register online at themosh.org or call 396-6674, ext. 230.

CELEBRATION OF WOMEN The Women’s Center of Jacksonville’s 16th annual celebration is held at 6:30 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Deerwood Country Club, 10239 Golf Club Drive, Jacksonville. Live music, a silent auction and hors d’oeuvres are featured.

Tickets are $90. Proceeds benefit the center’s programs.

641-6100.

BIKE RIDE FOR CHARITY The third annual Rotary Bike Rides are held at 7:30 a.m.

(65-mile) and 8:30 a.m. (25-mile) on Aug. 27, starting at Hibernia Baptist Church, 7100 U.S. 17, Green Cove Springs.

Registration is $30 in advance, $35 day of. Proceeds benefit local charities. rotarybikeride.com COMMUNITY READ Jacksonville Public Library and Community Connections are encouraging city residents to read “The Power of Half — One Family’s Decision to Stop Taking and Start Giving Back,“ by Kevin Salwen and his daughter Hannah. The Community Read will culminate Oct. 20 with a special appearance by the author at the Main Library in the Hicks Auditorium. Visit jaxpubliclibrary.org for more info.

JCCI FORWARD JCCI Forward kicks off its social season at 5:30 p.m. on Aug. 24 at Layla’s of San Marco, 2016 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Psychic medium Judy Zarnes is featured. Admission is free. For reservations, go to community.jcci.org JOIN THE MLK BUS TOUR The Association for the Study of African American Life and History Inc., James Weldon Johnson Branch, offers a bus tour for the Martin Luther King Memorial dedication ceremony on Aug. 27, 28 and 29 in Washington, D.C. Those interested should contact 551-0372 and visit asalh-jaxfl.org ENERGY EFFICIENCY EDUCATION SERIES St. Johns County holds workshops on how to save money and energy from 4-5 p.m. every Thur. at Wind Mitigation Bldg., University of Florida IFAS Extension, 3111 Ag Center Dr., St. Augustine. 827-6806. sjcfl.us TOILETRY DRIVE The annual toiletry drive is held through the summer at the Sulzbacher Center, 611 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. The center is in need of soap, shampoo, deodorant, body lotion, bug spray, sunscreen, toothpaste and toothbrushes, and lip balm. Volunteers are also needed to conduct toiletry drives at businesses and/or civic groups. 359-0457. sulzbachercenter.org

BOOKS & WRITING ROMANCE AUTHORS Ancient City Romance Authors present Nancy Haddock, offering a hands-on workshop on characterization from 12:30-4 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Southeast Regional Library, 10599 Deerwood Park Blvd., Jacksonville. acrarwa.org PATTI CALLAHAN HENRY Bestselling author Henry discusses and signs copies of her book, “Coming Up for Air,” at 3 p.m. on Aug. 25 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach. 241-9026.

BOOK FAIR The Friends of the Ponte Vedra Library hold a Book Fair featuring 11 area authors, discussing and signing their fiction and non-fiction books, from 6-8 p.m. on Aug. 29 at Ponte Vedra Library, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra. Admission is free. friendspvlibrary.org

Surf Rock! The St. Augustine Amphitheatre features a free premiere of Kai Neville’s new surf film “Lost Atlas” on Aug. 27 at 5:30 p.m. at 1340C A1A S., St. Augustine. The event also features live performances by LE BLORR, Sunbears!, Darkhorse Saloon, DJ Classic Blends, a taco cook-off and vendors. 209-0367.

BOOKMARK CELEBRATION The BookMark celebrates its 21st birthday and its first anniversary in Neptune Beach from 10 a.m.-8 p.m. on Aug. 27 at 220 First St., Neptune Beach. Prizes, cake, coffee and games are featured. 241-9026.

FRIDAY 5 O’CLOCK WHISTLE TALKS Author Joan Hubbard (“The Grieving Self”) appears from 5-6:30 p.m. on Aug. 26 at Beaches Museum & History Center, 380 Pablo Ave., Jax Beach. 241-5657.

COMEDY LATITUDE 30 COMEDY Comedians are featured at 8 p.m. on Aug. 25, 26 and 27 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside. Tickets are $13. 365-5555.

RONDELL SHERIDAN The Comedy Zone features All Stars at 8 p.m. on Aug. 23 and 24. Rondell Sheridan appears at 8 p.m. on Aug. 25 and 26 and at 8 and 10 p.m. on Aug. 27 at 3130 Hartley Road, Ramada Inn, Jacksonville. Tickets are $10-$17. 292-4242.

JACKIE KNIGHT’S COMEDY CLUB Rob Steen and Bob Lauer appear on Aug. 26 and 27 at 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine. Tickets are $12. 461-8843.

UPCOMING JACKSONVILLE TATTOO CONVENTION Sept. 2, 3 & 4, WGV Renaissance Resort SESAME STREET LIVE “ELMO’S SUPER HEROES” Sept. 16, 17 & 18, T-U Center HISPANIC HERITAGE FESTIVALOct. 1, Palencia Club, St. Augustine FOLIO WEEKLY’S OKTOBERFEST Oct. 15 28TH ANNUAL CARING CHEFS Oct. 23, The Avenues Mall A JOHN WATERS CHRISTMAS Nov. 30, The Florida Theatre

NATURE, SPORTS, OUTDOORS LOW TIDE BIKE RIDE The ride is held at 1 p.m. on Aug. 27 at Anastasia State Park, 1340A A1A S., St. Augustine. The ride is free with paid park admission. 461-2035. floridastateparks.org COA GOLF TOURNAMENT The eighth annual gala is held at 6 p.m. on Aug. 28 at River House, 179 Marine St., St. Augustine. Tickets are $75.

The golf tournament is held on Aug. 29 at Slammer

& Squire, World Golf Village, St. Augustine. Proceeds benefit the Council On Aging’s programs. coachampionship.com SECRETS OF THE SALT MARSH A ranger discusses the estuarine systems that surround the inshore sides of barrier islands like those of the Talbot Islands State Parks complex at 2 p.m. on Aug. 27 at the Ribault Club, 11241 Fort George Road, Fort George Island. No reservations are necessary and the program is free.

251-2320. floridastateparks.org TALBOT ISLAND TEMPORARY USE CHANGE The Florida Department of Environmental Protection’s Big Talbot Island State Park, 12157 Heckscher Drive, Jacksonville, will periodically close the Bluffs recreational area during construction of the next segment of the Timucuan Multi-Use Trail, starting on Aug. 22. The work will last about three weeks. Beach access on Big Talbot Island will be provided by Black Rock Trail. 251-2320. floridastateparks.org SAVAGE ANCIENT SEAS This exhibit features fossils of marine animals from the collection of paleontologist Mike Triebold at Museum of Science and History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville.

396-7062. themosh.org WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME The Slammer & Squire and King & Bear golf courses, located off I-95, exit 323, St. Augustine, are offering several special golf programs through August. Special twilight pricing will also be available at both courses. For details and pricing, call 940-4123 or visit WorldGolfHallofFame.org.

ROWING The Jacksonville Rowing Club offers adult and youth rowing programs; no experience or equipment is necessary. Monthly learn-to-row classes are offered. Coxswain training is also offered. 304-8500. jaxrow.org 92 AT THE ZOO When the temperature is predicted to be higher than 92 degrees, guests can get half-off admission with a coupon from jacksonvillezoo.org, through Aug. 31, at The Jacksonville Zoo, 370 Zoo Parkway, Jacksonville. If two of the three local weather authorities predict the weather to be a high of 92 degrees or more, a coupon is posted.

BIKE RIDE ON THE BEACH This fundraiser is held at 5:45 p.m. on Aug. 31 and every other Wed. departing from Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, ending back at the pier for the free concert. Proceeds benefit the Gratitude Leadership Program. 347-5301. gratitudetraining.com

BUSINESS NEW MEMBER BREAKFAST The Amelia Island-Fernandina Beach-Yulee Chamber of

Commerce gathers from 8:30-10 a.m. on Aug. 23 at Jack & Diane’s, 708 Centre St., Fernandina Beach. Admission is free.

Breakfast is available for $10 (includes gratuity and drinks); cash only. 261-3248.

CHAMBER AFTER HOURS Ponte Vedra Chamber of Commerce meets at 5:30 p.m. on Aug. 24 at First Southern Bank, 212 Ponte Vedra Park Drive, Ponte Vedra. Admission is free. 285-2004.

SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB Janet Golden, of Hope Haven, appears at noon on Aug. 24 at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is $20. For reservations, call 396-5559.

KIDS READ TO ROVER Elementary-aged children may practice their reading skills when they read to a real, live dog from 10-11 a.m. on Aug. 27 at the Southeast Branch Library, 6670 U.S. 1 S., St. Augustine. 827-6900.

STORY TIME This free program is held from 10:30-11 a.m. every first and third Sat. at Amelia Island Museum of History, 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach. 261-7378.

JAX ZOO Rescued penguins are housed in the Tuxedo Coast exhibit, and endangered wood storks’ nests are alive with chicks at Jacksonville Zoo’s Play Park, 370 Zoo Parkway, Jacksonville. Open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m. daily. 757-4463. jacksonvillezoo.org ABELLA’S SCHOOL OF DANCE The fundamentals of ballet, jazz tumbling, conditioning, choreography, and musical and dance history are offered at the school, 1765 Tree Blvd., St. Augustine. For details and a schedule, call 810-5670.

ICE SKATING CAMPS & CLASSES Jacksonville Ice & Sportsplex, 3605 Philips Highway, Southside, offers Hockey Camp for ages 6-14, Summer Learn to Skate Camp for kids ages 6-14, and Figure Skating Academy Level for ages 8-16. A lunch program and extended care are available. Public sessions are half-price while students are enrolled in Learn to Skate & Learn to Play Classes. 399-3223. For dates and prices, go to jaxiceandsportsplex.com

CLASSES & GROUPS DANCE CLASSES Dance classes and clinics, fitness workouts and aerobic dance instruction are offered at 8286 Western Way Circle, Ste. C2B, Jacksonville. For dates, times and fess, call 476-3569. focusdancer@hotmail.com PING PONG TOURNAMENT

Tournaments are held at 7 p.m. every Mon. at Blues Rock Inn 831 N. First St., Jax Beach. 249-0007.

AMPUTEE SUPPORT GROUP This group meets at 7:30 p.m. on Aug. 24 and on every fourth Wed. each month, at Baptist Hospital, Function Room C, 800 Prudential Dr., Jacksonville. Admission is free.

355-5451.

BELLY DANCING CLASS Kawakeb offers classes in belly dancing cymbals and rhythms from 6-7:30 p.m. on Aug. 24 at Ponce de Leon Mall’s Dance Theatre Studio, Ste. 29, 2121 U.S. 1 S., St. Augustine.

Fee is $30. (917) 293-0503.

YOGA ON THE RIVER Karen Roumillat teaches gentle yoga on the fourth Sun. of each month. Sessions are free and are held on the boardwalk, at the Walter Jones Historical Park, 11964 Mandarin Road, beginning at 9 a.m. Bring a mat or blanket. karenroumillat.com DEPRESSION/BI-POLAR SUPPORT ALLIANCE This support group meets every Thur. from 6-7:30 p.m. at Baptist Medical Center, 800 Prudential Drive, Jacksonville.

For more information, call 616-6264.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Do you have a drug problem? Maybe they can help. 3586262, 723-5683. serenitycoastna.org, firstcoastna.org NAR-A-NON This group meets at 8 p.m. every Tue. and Thur. at 4172 Shirley Ave., Avondale. 945-7168.

HABITAT FOR HUMANITY RE-STORE The new store is located at 2745 Industry Center Road, Ste. 8, St. Augustine, just off S.R. 16, west of Four Mile Road.

The store is packed with great bargains such as furniture, building materials, appliances and all kinds of household items. Proceeds benefit the building of decent, affordable homes for families in need in St. Johns County. Open from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Thur., Fri. and Sat. 829-6916.

SCRABBLE CLUB This Jacksonville group gathers at 1 p.m. every Wed. at Golden Corral, 11470 San Jose Blvd., and every Thur. at Barnes & Noble, 11112 San Jose Blvd. For times, email curtlee59@aol.com. All levels are welcome.

733-1565.

HUMANE SOCIETY VOLUNTEERS The St. Augustine Humane Society recruits and trains volunteers 17 or older for a variety of services including spay shuttle operations, fundraising and building renovations. The necessary forms are found at staughumane.org. 827-8817.

YOGA AT THE GRANARY A yoga class with certified professional level kripalu teacher Anita Sanci, E-RYT500, is held at 10:30 a.m. every Tue. at The Granary, 1738 Kingsley Ave., Orange Park. Classes are $12 each. 264-5443.

To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to events@ folioweekly.com or click the link in our Happenings section at folioweekly.com. Listings are included on a spaceavailable basis.

Knots, Landing: The 14th annual Tug-of-War & Pool Party is held on Aug. 27 from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. at Holiday Inn, 860 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. Music, food, kids’ activities and prizes are featured. Teams can sign up for $10 and proceeds benefit Give Kids the World Village and Surfers for Autism. 471-2555.

August 23-29, 2011 | folio weekly | 33

DINING GUIDE KEY

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer, Wine FB = Full Bar CM = Children’s Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast L = Lunch D = Dinner F = Folio Weekly distribution point Send changes to mdryden@folioweekly.com

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE (In Fernandina Beach unless otherwise noted.)

THE BEECH STREET GRILL Fine dining in a casual atmosphere. The menu includes fresh local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes created with a variety of ethnic influences.

Award-winning wine list. FB. L, Wed.-Fri.; D, nightly; Sun. brunch. 801 Beech St. 277-3662. $$$ BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ F At the foot of Centre Street, the upscale restaurant overlooks the Harbor Marina. The menu includes daily specials, fresh Florida seafood and an extensive wine list. FB. L & D, daily. 1 S. Front St. 261-2660. $$$ BRIGHT MORNINGS The small café offers freshly baked goods. B & L daily. 105 S. Third St. 491-1771. $$ CAFÉ 4750 At the Italian kitchen and wine bar, Chef de Cuisine Garrett Gooch offers roasted sea bass, frutti di mare soup, clam linguini, panatela bruschetta and fresh gelatos. Dine indoors or on the terrace. FB. B, L & D, daily. The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$$ CAFÉ KARIBO F Eclectic cuisine, served under the oaks in historic Fernandina, features sandwiches and chef’s specials.

Alfresco dining. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sat.; L, Sun. & Mon. 27 N. Third St. 277-5269. $$ CHEZ LEZANRep BAKERYrlF European-style breads, pastries, Sales croissants, muffins and pies baked daily. 1014 Atlantic Ave. 491-4663. $ EIGHT Contemporary sports lounge offers burgers, sandwiches, wings and nachos. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Fri. & Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy. , Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$ ESPAÑA RESTAURANT & TAPAS Traditional Spanish and Portuguese dishes, tapas and paella served in a cozy atmosphere. BW, CM. D nightly. 22 S. Fourth St. 261-7700. $$$ FERNANDELI F Classics with a Southern touch, like a onethird-pound devil dog, Reubens and pulled pork. Sandwiches and wraps built to order from fresh cold cuts, tuna, egg and turkey salads. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 17B S. Eighth St. 261-0008. $ GENERAL STORE F This store has a little bit of everything.

Breakfast includes hot rope sausage, lunch features the Redneck Reuben. Deli meats, cheeses, chicken, fish, pizzas and pasta. BW. B, L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 310-6080. $ GENNARO’S RISTORANTE ITALIANO F Southern Italian cuisine: pasta, gourmet ravioli, hand-tossed pizzas. Specialties are margharita pizza and shrimp feast. Bread is baked on-site.

CM, BW. L & D, daily. 5 S. Second St., 261-9400. 5472 First Coast Highway, Amelia Island, 491-1999. $$ HAPPY TOMATO COURTYARD CAFE & BBQ Pulled pork sandwich, chicken salad and walnut chocolate chunk cookie, served in a laid-back atmosphere. BW. CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 7 S. Third St. 321-0707. $$ JACK & DIANE’S F Casual cafe offers steak & eggs, pancakes, Cajun scampi, etouffée, curry pizza, vegan black bean cakes, shrimp & grits, hand-carved steaks. FB. B, L & D, daily. 708 Centre St. 321-1444. $$ JOE’S 2ND STREET BISTRO Elegant island atmosphere. NY strip steak with sauces, Maine crab cakes, seafood fricassee and roast chicken penne pasta. BW. CM. D, nightly. 14 S. Second St. 321-2558. $$$ KABUKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Teppanyaki masters create your meal; plus a 37-item sushi bar. BW. D, Tue.-Sun. Amelia Plaza. 277-8782. $$ KELLEY’S COURTYARD CAFE F She crab soup, salads, fried green tomatoes, sandwiches and wraps are served indoors or out on the patio. Vegetarian dishes are also offered. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 19 S. Third St. 432-8213. $ LULU’S AT THE THOMPSON HOUSE F An innovative lunch menu includes po’boys, salads and seafood “little plates” served in a historic house. Dinner features fresh local seafood (Fernandina shrimp every Thur.); nightly specials. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations recommended. 11 S. Seventh St. 432-8394. $$ MONTEGO BAY COFFEE CAFE Locally owned and operated, with specialty coffees, fruit smoothies. Dine in or hit the drivethru. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 463363 S.R. 200, Yulee. 225-3600. $ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Northernstyle pizza by the pie or the slice. Choose from more than 20 toppings. Owner-selected wines and a large beer selection.

BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 925 S. 14th St. 321-3400. $ THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE Organic eatery and juice bar.

Extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials: local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Wraps, sandwiches, soups. CM. B & L,

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Mon.-Sat. 833 T.J. Courson Rd. 277-3141. $$ O’KANE’S IRISH PUB F Rustic, genuine Irish pub up front, eatery in back, featuring daily specials, fish-n-chips, and soups served in a sourdough bread bowl. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sun. 318 Centre St. 261-1000. $$ PEPPER’S MEXICAN GRILL & CANTINA F The family restaurant offers authentic Mexican cuisine. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 272-2011. $$ PICANTE GRILL ROTISSERIE BAR F Picante offers flavors of Peru and Latin America, served in a contemporary atmosphere. The menu includes authentic Peruvian cebiche and homestyle empanadas. BW, CM, TO. B, L & D daily.

464073 S.R. 200, Ste. 2, Yulee. 310-9222. $$ PLAE In Spa & Shops at Omni Amelia Island Plantation, the cozy venue offers an innovative and PLAEful dining experience. D, nightly. 277-2132. $$$ SALT, THE GRILL Best of Jax 2010 winner. Elegant dining featuring local seafood and produce, served in a contemporary coastal setting. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 491-6746. $$$$ SANDOLLAR RESTAURANT & MARINA F Dine inside or on the deck. Snow crab legs, fresh fish, shellfish dishes. FB. L & D, daily. 9716 Heckscher Dr., Ft. George Island. 251-2449. $$ SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL F Oceanfront dining; local seafood, shrimp, crab cakes, outdoor beachfront tiki & raw bar, covered deck and kids’ playground. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 277-6652. $$ SNAPPER’S BAR & SEAFOOD GRILL The Amelia Island restaurant offers traditional bar-and-grill fare, including tacos, wraps, sandwiches, soups and burgers, as well as fish, shellfish and steaks. L & D, daily. FB, CM. 960062 Gateway Blvd. 491-6888. $$ THE SURF F Dine inside or on large oceanview deck. Steaks, fresh fish, shrimp and nightly specials. Late-night menu. FB. L & D, daily. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 261-5711. $$ T-RAY’S BURGER STATION F A favorite local spot; Best of Jax 2010 winner. Grilled or blackened fish sandwiches, homemade burgers. BW, TO. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 202 S. Eighth St. 261-6310. $ 29 SOUTH EATS F Part of historic Fernandina Beach’s downtown scene. Award-winning Chef Scotty serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 29 S. Third St. 277-7919. $$

ARLINGTON, REGENCY EAST COAST BUFFET F A 160+ item Chinese, Japanese, American and Italian buffet. Dine in, take out. FB. L & D, Mon.Sat.; Sun. brunch. 9569 Regency Sq. Blvd. N. 726-9888. $$ GOLDEN CORRAL See Mandarin. 9070 Merrill. 743-2662. $$ KABUTO JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR Steak & shrimp, filet mignon & lobster, shrimp & scallops, a sushi bar, teppanyaki grill and traditional Japanese cuisine. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10055 Atlantic Blvd. 724-8883. $$$ LA NOPALERA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal.

8818 Atlantic Blvd. 720-0106. $$ MEEHAN’S TAVERN F This Irish pub and restaurant serves beef and Guinness stew, Philly cheesesteak sandwiches, traditional lamb stew and jalapeño poppers, made fresh onsite, in a comfy atmosphere. Wifi, HDTVs, non-smoking. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5. 551-7076. $$ NERO’S CAFE F Nero’s serves traditional Italian fare, including seafood, veal, beef, chicken and pasta dishes. Weekly specials are lasagna, 2-for-1 pizza and AYCE spaghetti. CM, FB. L, Sun.; D, daily. 3607 University Blvd. N. 743-3141. $$ REGENCY ALE HOUSE & RAW BAR Generous portions and friendly service in a nautical atmosphere. Fresh fish, specialty pastas, fresh oysters and clams. BW. L & D, daily. 9541 Regency Square Blvd. S. 720-0551. $$ TREY’S DELI & GRILL F Fresh food served in a relaxed atmosphere. Burgers, Trey’s Reuben, deli sandwiches, pork, steaks, seafood, pies. Prime rib specials every Fri. night. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 2044 Rogero Rd. 744-3690. $$ UNIVERSITY DINERF The popular diner serves familiar breakfast fare and lunch items like meatloaf, burgers, sandwiches: wraps, BLTs, clubs, melts. Daily specials. BW. B & L, Sat. & Sun.; B, L & D, Mon.-Fri. 5959 Merrill Rd. 762-3433. $

AVONDALE, ORTEGA BISCOTTIS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Mozzarella bruschetta, Avondale pizza, sandwiches, espresso, cappuccino. Revolving daily specials. B, Tue.-Sun.; L & D, daily.

3556 St. Johns Ave. 387-2060. $$$ THE BLUE FISH RESTAURANT & OYSTER BAR Fresh seafood, steaks and more are served in a casual atmosphere. Halfportions are available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 3551 St. Johns Ave., Shoppes of Avondale. 387-0700. $$$ BRICK RESTAURANT F Creative all-American fare like tuna tartare, seaweed salad and Kobe burger. Outside dining. FB. L

& D, daily. 3585 St. Johns Ave. 387-0606. $$$ THE CASBAH F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Middle Eastern cuisine is served in a friendly atmosphere. BW. L & D, daily.

3628 St. Johns Ave. 981-9966. $$ ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE F Gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. FB. D, Tue.-Sun., closed Mon. 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40. 388-4884. $$$ THE FOX RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Fox has been a Jacksonville landmark for 50-plus years. Owners Ian & Mary Chase serve classic diner-style fare, homemade desserts. B & L daily. 3580 St. Johns Ave. 387-2669. $ GREEN MAN GOURMET Organic and natural products, spices, teas, salts, BW. Open daily. 3543 St. Johns Ave. 384-0002. $ MOJO NO. 4 F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 3572 St. Johns Ave. 381-6670. $$ ORSAY Best of Jax 2010 winner. The French/American bistro focuses on craftsmanship and service. FB. D, Tues.-Sat.; Brunch & D, Sun. 3630 Park St. 381-0909. $$$ TOM & BETTY’S F A Jacksonville tradition for more than 30 years, Tom & Betty’s serves hefty sandwiches with classic car themes, along with homemade-style dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4409 Roosevelt Blvd. 387-3311. $$ ’town F Owner Meghan Purcell and Executive Chef Scott Ostrander bring farm-to-table to Northeast Florida, offering American fare with an emphasis on sustainability. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3611 St. Johns Ave. 345-2596. $$

BAYMEADOWS AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 8060 Philips Hwy. 731-4300. $ BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA F Family-owned-andoperated New York-style pizzeria serves hand-tossed, brickoven-baked pizza, and traditional Italian dinners, wings, subs.

Dine-in or delivered. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3. 519-8000. $$ CAFE CONFLUENCE F This European coffeehouse serves Italian specialty coffees and smoothies, along with paninis, salads and European chocolates. Outdoor dining. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 8612 Baymeadows Rd. 733-7840. $ CHA-CHA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT F Owner Celso Alvarado offers authentic Mexican fare with 26 combo dinners and specialty dishes including chalupas, enchiladas, burritos. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F Chicago-style deepdish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from the Comastro family, serving authentic Windy City favorites for 25+ years.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy. 731-9797. $$ DEERWOOD DELI & DINER F The ’50s-style diner serves malts, shakes, Reubens, Cubans, burgers, and traditional breakfast items. CM. B & L, daily. 9934 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-4877. $$ THE FIFTH ELEMENT F The first four elements are earth, water, air and fire — but here they prepare authentic Indian, South Indian and Indochinese dishes with artistic flair. Lunch buffet includes lamb, goat, chicken, tandoori and biryani items.

CM. L & D, daily. 9485 Baymeadows Rd. 448-8265. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 8650 Baymeadows Rd. 448-0500. $$ INDIA RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Extensive menu of entrées, clay-oven grilled Tandoori specialties and chicken tandoor, fish, seafood and korma. L, Mon.-Sat., D, daily. 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8. 620-0777. $$ LARRY’S GIANT SUBS F With locations all over Northeast Florida, Larry’s piles subs up with fresh fixins and serves ’em fast. Some Larry’s Subs offer B & W and/or serve breakfast.

CM. L & D, daily. 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9 (Goodby’s Creek), 737-7740; 8616 Baymeadows Rd. 739-2498. larryssubs.com $ LEMONGRASS F Upscale Thai cuisine in a metropolitan atmosphere. Chef Aphayasane’s innovative creations include roast duckling and fried snapper. BW. R. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.Sat. 9846 Old Baymeadows Rd. 645-9911. $$ MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE F This Lebanese restaurant offers authentic Mediterranean cuisine: lahm meshwe, kafta khoshkhas and baked filet of red snapper. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-1881. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The organic supermarket offers a full deli and a hot bar with fresh soups, quesadillas, rotisserie chicken and vegan sushi, as well as a fresh juice and smoothie bar. 11030 Baymeadows Rd. 260-2791. $ OMAHA STEAKHOUSE Center-cut beef, fresh seafood and sandwiches served in an English tavern atmosphere. The signature dish is a 16-ounce bone-in ribeye. Desserts include crème brûlée. FB. L & D, daily. 9300 Baymeadows Rd., Embassy Suites Hotel. 739-6633. $$ ORANGE TREE HOT DOGS F The menu includes hot dogs with slaw, chili cheese, sauerkraut; and small pizzas. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 8380 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 4. 733-0588. orangetreehotdogs.com $ PATTAYA THAI GRILLE F Traditional Thai and vegetarian

items and a 40-plus item vegetarian menu served in a contemporary atmosphere. B/W. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1. 646-9506. $$ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 3928 Baymeadows Rd. 527-8649. $$ STICKY FINGERS F Memphis-style rib house specializes in barbecue ribs served several ways. FB. L & D, daily. 8129 Point Meadows Way. 493-7427. $$ UDIPI CAFE Authentic South Indian vegetarian cuisine. L & D, Tue.-Fri. 8642 Baymeadows Rd. 402-8084. $ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. L & D, daily. 9910 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-7171. $

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

A LA CARTE Authentic New England fare like Maine lobster rolls, fried Ipswich clams, crab or clam cake sandwich, fried shrimp basket, haddock sandwich, clam chowdah, birch beer and blueberry soda. Dine inside or on the deck. TO. L, Fri.-Tue. 331 First Ave. N. 241-2005. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Serving hand-tossed gourmet pizzas, calzones and Italian entrees for more than 21 years. Voted Best Pizza by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-0002. $ ANGIE’S SUBS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Subs are madeto-order fresh. Serious casual. Wicked good iced tea. 1436 Beach Blvd. 246-2519. $ BEACH BUDS CHICKEN F The family-owned place serves marinated fried or baked chicken: family meals (kids like Peruvian nuggets), giant tenders, in box lunches and as MiniMe sandwiches, along with gizzards, livers, 15 sides and fried or blackened shrimp, fish, conch fritters, deviled crabs. TO. L & D, daily. 1289 Penman Road. 247-2828. $ BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT & MARKET F The full fresh seafood market serves seafood baskets, fish tacos, oyster baskets and Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors or outside. Beach delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 120 S. Third St. 444-8862. $$ BLUES ROCK CAFE This blues rock venue offers an oceanfront dining experience, featuring an all-American menu, including crab cakes and wings, served in a relaxed atmosphere in the heart of the Beaches. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 831 N. First St. 249-0007. $$ BONGIORNO’S PHILLY STEAK SHOP F South Philly’s Bongiorno clan imports Amoroso rolls for Real Deal cheesesteak, Original Gobbler, clubs, wraps, burgers, dogs. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2294 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach.

246-3278. $$ BONO’S PIT BAR-B-Q F Baby back ribs, fried corn, sweet potatoes. BW. L & D, daily. 1307 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 270-2666. 1266 S. Third St. 249-8704. bonosbarbq.com $ THE BRASSERIE & BAR French/European-style bistro and bar offers coq au vin, French onion soup, fritto misto, Moroccan-style lamb shank. FB. D, Tue.-Sun. 1312 Beach Blvd. 249-5800. $$$ BUDDHA’S BELLY F Authentic Thai dishes made with fresh ingredients using tried-and-true recipes. FB, TO. L & D, daily.

301 10th Ave. N. 372-9149. $$ BURRITO GALLERY EXPRESS F Best of Jax 2010 winner.

The Gallery’s kid sister at the beach each is mostly take-out; same great chow, fast service. 1333 Third St. N. 242-8226. $ CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA F Homemade-style Mexican items are fajitas, enchiladas and fried ice cream, plus margaritas. FB. D, nightly. 127 First Ave. N. 249-3322. $$ CARIBBEE KEY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. AmerCaribbean cuisine includes seafood, steaks and sandwiches. Open-air deck bar upstairs; outdoor dining downstairs. FB. L & D, daily.

100 N. First St., Neptune Beach. 270-8940. $$ CASA MARIA F See Springfield. 2429 S. 3rd St. 372-9000. $ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 320 N. First St. 270-8565. $$ COPPER TOP SOUTHERN AMERICAN CUISINE F (Formerly The Homestead) The menu features Southern favorites like fried chicken, collards, biscuits and cornbread, as well as fresh seafood, steaks, burgers and chops, served in a family atmosphere inside a cozy log cabin. CM, FB. Sunday brunch; L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1712 Beach Blvd. 249-4776. $$ CRAB CAKE FACTORY JAX F Chef Kahn Vongdara presents an innovative menu of seafood dishes and seasonal favorites.

FB. L & D daily. The Factory’s Ashley Hayek is a 2010 Best of Jax winner for Best Bartender. 1396 Beach Blvd., Beach Plaza.

247-9880. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner, serving burgers, sandwiches, nachos, tacos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 319 23rd Ave. S. 270-0356. $ CULHANE’S IRISH PUB Four Culhane sisters own and operate the authentic Irish pub, featuring Guy Fieri’s (“Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives”) fave items — Guinness stew, lamb sliders and fish pie. L, Fri.-Sun.; D, Tue.-Sun.; weekend brunch. FB, CM. 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-9595. $$

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CYCLONES TEX-MEX CANTINAF This new place offers freshly made Tex-Mex favorites, including fajitas, enchiladas, tacos, burritos, tamales and taco salad. Lunch combos include Mexican rice and beans. FB. L & D, daily. 1222 Third St. S. 694-0488. $$ DICK’S WINGSF This NASCAR-themed place serves 365 varieties of wings. The menu also features half-pound burgers, ribs and salads. BW, TO. L & D daily. 2010 Best of Jax winner for Best Chicken Wings. 2434 Mayport Road, Atlantic Beach, 372-0298. 311 N. Third St., 853-5004. $ DWIGHT’S The Mediterranean-style bistro features fresh local seafood, filet mignon, mixed grill and an extensive wine list. D, Tue.-Sat. 1527 Penman Rd. 241-4496. $$$$ ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY F This Jax Beach restaurant serves gastropub fare like soups, salads, flatbreads and specialty sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Daily specials, too. CM, BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217. 249-2337. $ EUROPEAN STREET F See San Marco. 992 Beach Blvd.

249-3001. $ FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Casual dining with uptown Irish flair, including fish and chips, Guinness beef stew and black-and-tan brownies. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 333 N. First St. 242-9499. $$ THE FISH COMPANY F Fresh, local seafood is served, including Mayport shrimp, fish baskets, grilled tuna and an oyster bar. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Beach. 246-0123. $$ HALA SANDWICH SHOP & BAKERY Authentic Middle Eastern favorites include gyros, shwarma, pita bread, made fresh daily.

BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 1451 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach.

249-2212. $$ HOT DOG HUT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. All-beef hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, crab cakes, beer-battered onion rings and French fries. B. L, daily. 1439 Third St. S. Produced 247-8886. by ab $ Checked by Sales Rep dl ICHIBAN F Three dining areas: teppan or hibachi tables (watch a chef prepare your food), a sushi bar and Westernstyle seating offering tempura and teriyaki. FB, Japanese plum wine. L & D, daily. 675 N. Third St. 247-4688. $$ IGUANA’S CANTINA This new Mexican place offers traditional favorites at moderate prices. CM, FB. Free Wifi and outdoor dining. L & D, daily. 1266 Beach Blvd. 853-6356. $$ LYNCH’S IRISH PUB Best of Jax 2010 winner. The full-service restaurant offers corned beef and cabbage, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips. 30+ beers on tap. FB. L, Sat. & Sun., D, daily.

514 N. First St. 249-5181. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See St. Johns Town Center. 1080 Third St. N. 241-5600. $ MEZZA LUNA RISTORANTE F A Beaches tradition for 20+ years. Favorites are Szechwan ahi tuna, lasagna Bolognese and wood-fired pizza. Inside or patio. Extensive wine list. CM, FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 110 First St., Neptune Beach.

249-5573. $$$ MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Traditional slow-cooked Southern barbecue served in a blues bar atmosphere. Favorites are pulled pork, Texas brisket and slow-cooked ribs. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1500 Beach Blvd.

247-6636. $$ MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN F For 25 years, Monkey’s has served pub grub, burgers, sandwiches, seafood and wings.

Dine inside or out on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1850 S. Third St. 246-1070. $ NORTH BEACH BISTRO Casual dining with an elegant touch, like slow-cooked veal osso buco; calypso crusted mahi mahi with spiced plantain chips. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach. 372-4105. $$$ OCEAN 60 Best of Jax 2010 winner. A prix fixe menu is offered. Continental cuisine, with fresh seafood, nightly specials and a changing seasonal menu. Dine in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. D, Mon.-Sat. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 247-0060. $$$ PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL Serving Baja-style Mexican cuisine, featuring carne asada, tacos, burritos, fish tacos and shrimp burritos. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 333 First St. N. 208-5097. $ PARSONS SEAFOOD RESTAURANT F The family-style restaurant has an outdoor patio and an extensive menu, including the mariner’s platter and the Original Dreamboat.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 904 Sixth Ave. S. 249-0608. $$ THE PIER RESTAURANT This new oceanfront restaurant offers fresh, local fare served on two floors — upstairs, it’s Chef’s Menu, with stuffed flounder, pork tenderloin and appetizers.

The downstairs bar and patio offer casual dinner items and daily drink specials. CM, FB. D, daily; L & D, weekends; brunch, Sun. 412 First St. N. 246-6454. $$ PHILLY’S FINEST F Authentic Philly-style cheesesteaks are made with imported Amorosa rolls. Hoagies, wings and pizza ... cold beer, too. FB. L & D, daily. 1527 N. Third St. 241-7188. $$ RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD GRILL F The Beaches landmark serves grilled seafood with a Cajun/Creole accent.

Hand-crafted cold beer. FB. L & D, daily. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877. $$ SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK An array of specialty menu items, including signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos and local fried shrimp, in a casual, trendy

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open-air space. FB, TO, CM. L & D, daily. 1018 Third St. N. 372-4456. $$ SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. 111 Beach Blvd. 482-1000. $$ SUN DOG STEAK & SEAFOOD F Eclectic American fare, art deco décor with an authentic diner feel. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221. $$ TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Fresh, Baja-style Mexican fare, with a focus on fish tacos and tequila, as well as fried cheese, bangin’ shrimp and verde chicken tacos. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1183 Beach Blvd. 249-8226. $$ THAI ROOM RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Dine in an intimate setting as Chef Thepsouvanh prepares Thai cuisine like crispy duck or pan-seared Chilean sea bass. BW. L, Mon.-Fri. D, Mon.-Sat. 1286 S. Third St. 249-8444. $$$ TWO DUDES SEAFOOD PLACE F Up-to-the-minute-fresh Mayport seafood, like shrimp, scallops, snapper and oysters in sandwiches or baskets, grilled, blackened or fried. B, TO. L & D daily. 22 Seminole Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-2000. $ THE WINE BAR The casual neighborhood place has a tapasstyle menu, fire-baked flatbreads and a wine selection. Tue.Sun. 320 N. First St. 372-0211. $$

DOWNTOWN

(The Jacksonville Landing venues are at 2 Independent Drive) ADAMS STREET DELI & GRILL The lunch spot serves wraps, including grilled chicken, and salads, including Greek salad. L, Mon.-Fri. 126 W. Adams St. 475-1400. $$ BURRITO GALLERY & BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner.

Southwest cuisine, traditional American salads. Burritos and more burritos. Onsite art gallery. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-2922. $ CAFÉ NOLA AT MOCA JAX On the first floor of Museum of Contemporary Art, Cafe Nola serves shrimp and grits, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fish tacos, homemade desserts.

FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Thur. 333 N. Laura St. 366-6911 ext. 231. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. The Jacksonville Landing. 354-7747. $$$ CITY HALL PUB A sports bar vibe: 16 big-screen HDTVs. Angus burgers, dogs, sandwiches, AYCE wings buffet. FB. Free downtown area lunch delivery. L & D, daily. 234 Randolph Blvd. 356-6750. $$ DE REAL TING CAFE F The popular restaurant offers a Caribbean lunch buffet Tue.-Fri. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 128 W. Adams St. 633-9738. $ INDOCHINE Serving Thai and Southeast Asian cuisine in the core of downtown. Signature dishes include favorites like chicken Satay, soft shell crab, and mango and sticky rice for dessert. BW, FB, TO. L, Mon.-Fri., D, Tue.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-5303. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE Family-owned-and-operated.

Jenkins offers beef, pork, chicken, homemade desserts. L & D, daily. 830 N. Pearl St. 353-6388. $ JULIETTE’S & J-BAR Serving dinner before (or dessert after) a show. Breakfast buffet. J-Bar serves bistro-inspired small plates. FB. Daily. Omni Hotel, 245 W. Water St. 355-6664. $$$ KOJA SUSHIF Sushi, Japanese, Asian and Korean cuisine.

Indoor and outdoor dining and bar. FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing. 350-9911. $$ OLIO MARKET F The newest addition to the downtown scene offers freshly prepared sandwiches, salads, soups and entrées in an open contemporary environment. Located at the bottom of the Churchwell Lofts building, Olio partners eclectic tastes with Old World ambiance in the casual renovated space. L, Mon.-Fri.; late nite for Art Walk. 301 E. Bay St. 356-7100. $$ THE SKYLINE DINING & CONFERENCE CENTER Weekday lunch includes salad bar, hot meals and a carving station. L, Mon.-Fri.; L, Sun. upon request. FB. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 3550.

791-9797. $$ ZODIAC GRILLF Serving Mediterranean cuisine and American favorites, with a popular lunch buffet. FB. L & D, daily. 120 W. Adams St. 354-8283. $

FLEMING ISLAND CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 406 Old Hard Road, Ste. 106. 213-7779. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F See Riverside. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 1915 East West Pkwy., 541-0009. $ HONEY B’S CAFE Breakfast includes omelets, pancakes, French toast. Lunch offers entrée salads, quiches, build-yourown burgers. Peanut butter pie is a favorite. Tea parties every Sat. B & L, daily. 3535 U.S. 17, Ste. 8. 264-7325. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal.

1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100. 215-2223. $ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See St. Johns Town Center. 1800 Town Center Pkwy.

541-1999. $

MOJO SMOKEHOUSE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. FB. L & D, daily. 1810 Town Ctr. Blvd. 264-0636. $$ WHITEY’S FISH CAMP F The renowned seafood place, family-owned since 1963, specializes in AYCE freshwater catfish. Also steaks, pastas. Outdoor waterfront dining. Come by car, boat or bike. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2032 C.R. 220.

269-4198. $

INTRACOASTAL AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 14286 Beach Blvd. (at San Pablo Rd.) 223-0991. $ BRUCCI’S PIZZA, PASTA, PANINIS F Brucci’s offers authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas and desserts in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36. 223-6913. $ CLIFF’S ROCKIN’ BAR-N-GRILL F Cliff’s features 8-ounce burgers, wings, steak, seafood, homemade pizza and daily specials. FB. L & D, daily. Smoking permitted. 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, Cobblestone Plaza. 645-5162. $$ GOLDEN CORRAL See Mandarin. 14035 Beach Blvd.

992-9294. $$ ISTANBUL MEDITERRANEAN & ITALIAN CUISINE F A varied menu offers European cuisine including lamb, beef and chicken dishes, as well as pizza and wraps. BW. L & D, daily.

13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 26. 220-9192. $$ JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE F The menu includes wings, hamburgers, Ahi tuna and handcut steaks. CM, FB. Daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22. 220-6766. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Family-ownedand-operated, serving authentic Mexican cuisine, like tamales, fajitas, pork tacos, in a casual family atmosphere. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 14333 Beach Blvd. 992-1666. $ MILANO’S RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA Homemade Italian cuisine, breads, pizzas, calzones and specialty dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 646-9119. $$ TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL F Wings, gourmet pizza, fresh seafood and specialty wraps. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5. 223-6999. $$ TKO’S THAI HUT F The menu offers Thai fusion dishes, curry dishes, chef’s specials, healthy options and sushi. Dine inside or on the covered patio. FB. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 46. 647-7546. $$ ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL Traditional Mediterranean family recipes blend in Spanish, French, Italian and Middle Eastern inspired dishes. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Harbour Village. 221-7066. $$

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS BLACKSTONE GRILLE The menu blends flavors from a variety of cultures and influences for modern American fusion cuisine, served in a bistro-style setting. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri., D, Sat.; Sun. brunch. 112 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 102. 287-0766. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F See Intracoastal. 540 S.R. 13, Ste. 10, Fruit Cove. 287-8317. $$ HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE F Wings, big salads, burgers, wraps and sandwiches. Sports events on HDTVs. CM, FB. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101. 683-1964. $ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk.

230-2171. $ VINO’S PIZZA Vino’s Pizza – with four Jacksonville locations – makes all their Italian and American dishes with fresh ingredients. L & D, daily. 605 S.R. 13, Ste. 103. 230-6966. $ WAKAME JAPANESE & THAI CUISINE F The fine dining restaurant offers authentic Japanese and Thai cuisine, including a full sushi menu, curries and pad dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 108. 230-6688. $$

MANDARIN AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 11190 San Jose Blvd. 260-4115. $ AW SHUCKS F This seafood place features an oyster bar, steaks, seafood, wings and pasta. Favorites are ahi tuna, shrimp & grits, oysters Rockefeller, pitas and kabobs. Sweet potato puffs are the signature side. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd. 240-0368. $$ THE BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE F A Maryland-style crabhouse featuring fresh blue crabs, garlic crabs, and king, snow and Dungeness crab legs. FB, CM. D, Tue.-Sat.; L & D, Sun. 3057 Julington Creek Rd. 260-2722. $$ BROOKLYN PIZZA F The traditional pizzeria serves New York-style pizza, specialty pies, and subs, strombolis and calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 11406 San Jose Blvd. 288-9211.

13820 St. Augustine Rd. 880-0020. $ CASA MARIA F See Springfield. L & D, daily. 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd. 619-8186. $$

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with purchase of $25 or more CLARK’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Clark’s has steak, ribs, AYCE catfish dinners, 3-pound prime rib. Dine in, out or in a creek-view glass-enclosed room. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 12903 Hood Landing Rd. 268-3474. $$ DON JUAN’S RESTAURANT F Authentic Mexican dishes prepared daily from scratch, served in a casual atmosphere.

FB, CM. L & D, daily. 12373 San Jose Blvd. 268-8722. $$ GIGI’S RESTAURANT Breakfast buffet daily, lunch buffet weekdays. The Comedy Zone (Best of Jax 2010 winner) has an appetizer menu. FB. B, L & D, daily. I-295 & San Jose Blvd.

(Ramada Inn). 268-8080. $$ (Fri. & Sat. buffet, $$$) GOLDEN CORRAL Family-friendly place offers a legendary buffet featuring a variety of familiar favorites as well as new items. B, L & D, daily. 11470 San Jose Blvd. 886-9699. $$ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F See Southside. 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd. 288-8890. $$ HARMONIOUS MONKS The American-style steakhouse features a 9-oz. choice Angus center-cut filet topped with gorgonzola shiitake mushroom cream sauce, 8-oz. gourmet burgers, fall-off-the-bone ribs, wraps, sandwiches. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30.

880-3040. $$ KOBE JAPANESE RESTAURANT The fusion-style sushi restaurant offers oyster shooters, kobe beef shabu-shabu, Chilean sea bass and filet mignon. BW & sake. L & D, daily.

11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 8. 288-7999. $$ LET’S NOSH F The authentic Jewish deli offers a full breakfast, lunch, brunch and full-service deli counter. Real New York water bagels, bread baked on site and desserts. CM. B & L, daily. 9850 San Jose Blvd. 683-8346. $ MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE MSG-free pan-Asian cuisine prepared to order in woks using fresh ingredients. Authentic Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese and Thai dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 11105 San Jose Blvd. 260-1727. $$ MANDARIN ALE HOUSE Laid-back atmosphere; 30-plus beers on tap. FB. L & D, daily. 11112 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 19.

292-0003. $$ METRO DINER F See San Marco. 12807 San Jose Blvd.

638-6185. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Organic supermarket with full deli and salad bar serving wraps, quesadillas, chopped salads, vegetarian dishes.

Fresh juice and smoothie bar. Indoor and outdoor seating.

Mon.-Sat. 10000 San Jose Blvd. 260-6950. $ PICASSO’S PIZZERIA F Specializes in hand-tossed gourmet pizza, calzones, homemade New York-style cheesecake and handmade pasta. Fresh local seafood and steaks. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 10503 San Jose Blvd. 880-0811. $$ SIMPLE FAIRE F Breakfast and lunch favorites, featuring Boar’s Head meats and cheeses served on fresh bread. Daily specials. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3020 Hartley Rd. 683-2542. $$ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. L & D, daily. 4268 Oldfield Crossing Dr. 268-6660. $ WHOLE FOODS MARKET F 100+ prepared items at a fullservice and self-service hot bar, soup bar, dessert bar. Made-

to-order Italian specialties from a brick oven pizza hearth. L & D, daily. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22. 288-1100. $$

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FolioWeekly

ORANGE PARK ARON’S PIZZA F This family-owned restaurant offers eggplant dishes, manicotti and New York-style pizza. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 650 Park Ave. 269-1007. $$ BLU TAVERN F This restaurant has an upscale feel with a casual atmosphere. Favorites include bread pudding and Orange Park salad. Blu also serves pasta dishes, burgers, seafood, pork, beef and steaks. CM, FB. L & D, daily; B, Sat. & Sun. only. 1635 Wells Rd. 644-7731. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F For 18-plus years, the sports-themed family restaurant has served wings, ribs, entrees, sandwiches.

FB. L & D, daily. 9680 Argyle Forest Blvd. 425-6466. $$ GOLDEN CORRAL See Mandarin. 582 Blanding Blvd.

272-0755. $$ THE HILLTOP CLUB She-crab soup, scallops, prime beef, wagyu beef, chicken Florentine, stuffed grouper. Chef Nick’s salmon is a favorite. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 2030 Wells Rd. 272-5959. $$ JOEY MOZARELLAS This Italian restaurant’s specialty is a 24-slice pizza: 18”x26” of fresh ingredients and sauces made daily. CM, TO. L & D, daily. 930 Blanding Blvd. 579-4748. $$ PASTA MARKET & CLAM BAR F This family-owned-andoperated restaurant offers gourmet pizzas, veal, chicken, mussels, shrimp, grouper and (of course) pastas: spaghetti, fettuccine, lasagna, ziti, calzones, linguini, tortellini, ravioli, all made with fresh ingredients, homemade-style. Daily specials. CM, BW, sangria. 1930 Kingsley Ave. 276-9551. D, nightly. $$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F Pizzas are baked in coal-fired ovens. Popular pizzas include Health Choice and Mozzarella. Coal-fired sandwiches and wings, too. BW. L & D, daily. 2134 Park Ave. 264-6116. $$ THE ROADHOUSE F Burgers, wings, deli sandwiches and popular lunches are served. FB. L & D, daily. 231 Blanding Blvd. 264-0611. $ THAI GARDEN F Traditional Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, served in a relaxed atmosphere. Curry dishes and specialty selections with authentic Thai flavors. BW. L, Mon.Fri.; D, nightly. 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. A. 272-8434. $$

© 2011

PONTE VEDRA, NE ST. JOHNS AL’S PIZZA F Homemade breads, pizza, white pizza, Homemade breads, pizza, white pizza, calzones and Italian entrees. Voted Best Pizza in Jax by Folio Weekly readers from

AUGUST 23-29, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 37

1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 635 A1A. 543-1494. $ AQUA GRILL Upscale cuisine includes fresh seafood, Angus steaks, Maine lobster and vegetarian dishes. Outdoor patio seating. FB. L, Mon.-Sat.; D, nightly. 950 Sawgrass Village Dr. 285-3017. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F Authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas, paninis, desserts. Family atmosphere. CM. L & D, daily.

880 A1A, Ste. 8. 280-7677. $$ CAFFE ANDIAMO Traditional Italian cuisine features fresh seafood, veal, homemade pastas and wood-fired pizza prepared in a copper clad oven. An extensive wine list is offered in a cosmopolitan atmosphere. Dine indoors or Out on the terrace. L & D, daily. 500 Sawgrass Village. 280-2299. $$$ LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE F On the Intracoastal Waterway, LuLu’s can be reached by car or by boat. Seafood, steaks and pasta dishes with a sophisticated flair. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 301 N. Roscoe Blvd. 285-0139. $$ NINETEEN AT TPC SAWGRASS In Sawgrass’ Tournament Players Club, Nineteen features more than 230 wines and freshly prepared American and Continental cuisine, including local seafood, served inside or al fresco on the verandah. L & D, daily. 110 Championship Way. 273-3235. $$$ PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE F Freshly prepared Caribbean cuisine, including red snapper Ponte Vedra Jamaican grilled pork ribs and barbecued salmon tower. Tropical rum drinks feature Pusser’s Painkiller. FB. L & D, daily. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100. 280-7766. L, $$; D, $$ RESTAURANT MEDURE Chef Matthew Medure offers his eclectic cuisine featuring local and imported seafood with Southern and Asian influences. F/B. D, Mon.-Sat. 818 A1A N. 543-3797. $$$ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Best of Jax 2010 winner. See San Marco. 8141 A1A. 285-0014. $$$$ 619 OCEAN VIEW Dining with a Mediterranean touch, featuring fresh seafood, steaks and nightly specials. FB, CM. D, Wed.-Sun. 619 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Cabana Beach Club.

285-6198. $$$ URBAN FLATS Ancient world-style flatbread is paired with fresh regional and seasonal ingredients in wraps, flatwiches and entrées, served in a casual, urban atmosphere. An international wine list is offered. FB. L & D, daily. 330 A1A N. 280-5515. $$

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE AJ’S ON PARK STREET F AJ’s is a casual barbecue spot serving smoked St. Louis-style ribs, pulled pork, smoked brisket, seafood and dishes made with a Latin touch. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 630 Park St. 359-0035. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 1620 Margaret St. 388-8384. $ BAKERY MODERNE F The neighborhood bakery offers classic pastries, artisanal breads, seasonal favorites, all made from scratch, including popular petit fours and custom cakes. B & L, daily. 869 Stockton St., Ste. 6, Riverside.

GRILL ME! A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE RESTAURANT BIZ

389-7117. $ CARMINE’S PIE HOUSE F The Italian eatery serves pizza by the slice, gourmet pizzas, appetizers, classic Italian dishes — calzone, stromboli, subs, panini — wings, and microbrews in a casual atmosphere. BW, CM, TO. 2677 Forbes St. 387-1400. $$ COOL MOOSE F Classic sandwiches, eclectic wraps and desserts. An extensive gourmet coffee menu with Green Mountain coffees and frozen coffee drinks. B & L, daily.

Brunch, Sun. 2708 Park St. 381-4242. $ CROSS CREEK See Springfield. 850 S. Lane Ave. 783-9579. $$ EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ F See San Marco. 2753 Park St. 384-9999. $ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 6677 103rd St., Westside, 777-6135. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F A deli, organic and natural grocery, and juice & smoothie bar offers teas, coffees, gourmet cheeses; natural, organic and raw items. Grab-andgo sandwiches, salads and sides. Craft beers, organic wines.

B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 2007 Park St. 384-4474. $ HJ’S BAR & GRILL Traditional American fare: burgers, sandwiches, wraps and platters of ribs, shrimp and fish. CM, FB. L & D, Sat. & Sun., D, Mon.-Fri. 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 1. 317-2783. $$ HOVAN MEDITERRANEAN GOURMET F Dine inside or on the patio. Mediterranean entrées include lamb, and beef gyros. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 2005-1 Park St. 381-9394. $ JACKSONS GRILL The locally owned spot’s original menu has fried pickle chips, Rockin’ Ranch burgers, gumbo, sandwiches.

BW, TO. B, L & D, daily. 1522 King St. 384-8984. $$ JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILL F A Riverside tradition, serving 60+ fresh deli and grill items, including hot sandwiches. L, Mon.Fri. 474 Riverside Ave. 356-8055. $ MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homemade-style sides include green beans, baked beans, red cole slaw, collards. BW, CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551. $$ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Amelia Island. 1176 Edgewood Ave. S. 389-4442. $ MOSSFIRE GRILL F Southwestern menu with ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas and gouda quesadillas. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1537 Margaret St. 355-4434. $$ O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB F Innovative Irish fare and traditional faves are offered, like lambburger with Stilton crust, Guinness mac & cheese, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips — plus 18 beers on tap. L, daily except Mon.; D, daily. CM, FB. 1521 Margaret St. 854-9300. $$ PERARD’S PIZZA & ITALIAN CUISINE F Traditional Italian fare is prepared with fresh sauces and dough made from scratch daily, along with a large selection of gourmet pizza toppings. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 11043 Crystal Springs Rd., Ste. 2. 378-8131. $ PERFECT RACK BILLIARDS F Upscale billiards hall has burgers, steak, deli sandwiches, wings. Family-friendly, non-smoking. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 1186 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill. 738-7645. $ PIZZA PALACE ON THE PARK F See San Marco. Outdoor seating. 920 Margaret St., 5 Points. 598-1212. $$ SAKE HOUSE F Japanese grill and sushi bar features sushi,

NAME: Abigail Santiago

Walter Coker

RESTAURANT: Vino’s Pizza and Italian Cuisine 1430 San Marco Blvd., San Marco BIRTHPLACE: Puerto Rico YEARS IN THE BUSINESS: 7 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than my own): Ruth’s Chris Steak House FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: Italian FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Garlic, basil and olive oil.

IDEAL MEAL: Calamari appetizer, chicken cacciatore with fresh-baked bread. Don’t forget a nice glass of merlot and cheesecake for dessert.

WOULDN’T EAT IF YOU PAID ME: Liver.

INSIDER’S SECRET: Keep it simply fresh.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: New Jacksonville Mayor Alvin Brown.

CULINARY GUILTY PLEASURE: Vanilla flan.

38 | folio weekly | August 23-29, 2011

sashimi, katsu, tempura, hibachi and specialty rolls. CM, BW, sake. L & D, daily. 824 Lomax St. 301-1188. $$ SUMO SUSHI F Authentic Japanese fare, traditional to entrees and sushi rolls, spicy sashimi salad, gyoza (pork dumpling), tobiko (flying fish roe), Rainbow roll (tuna, salmon, yellowtail, Calif. roll). BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2726 Park St. 388-8838. $$ TASTI D-LITE Health-conscious desserts include smoothies, shakes, sundaes, cakes and pies, made with fresh ingredients with fewer calories and less fat. More than 100 flavors. Open daily. 1024 Park St. 900-3040. $ TWO DOORS DOWN F Former Tad’s owner offers traditional faves: hotcakes, omelets, burgers, pork chops, liver & onions, fried chicken, sides and desserts. CM, TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 436 Park St. 598-0032. $ WALKERS This nightspot has a tapas menu plus a wide variety of wines, served in a rustic, intimate atmosphere. BW. Tue.-Sat. 2692 Post St. 894-7465. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE buffet. Sushi bar, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, steak, seafood. BW. L & D, daily. 1014 Margaret St., Ste. 1, 5 Points. 301-1199. $$

ST. AUGUSTINE A1A ALE WORKS F The Ancient City’s only brew pub taps seven hand-crafted ales and lagers. A1A specializes in innovative New World cuisine. FB. L & D, daily. 1 King St. 829-2977. $$ AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT F A family-owned-andoperated Italian restaurant offers traditional pasta, veal, steak and seafood dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1915B A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. 461-0102. $$ ANN O’MALLEY’S F Fresh handmade sandwiches, soups, salads and perfectly poured Guinness. Favorites include Reubens and chicken salad. CM, BW, Irish beers on tap. L & D, daily. 23 Orange St. 825-4040. $$ BARNACLE BILL’S F For 30 years, this family restaurant has served seafood, oysters, gator tail, steak and the popular fried shrimp. FB, CM, TO. L & D daily; 14 Castillo Drive, 824-3663. $$ THE BLACK MOLLY BAR & GRILL Fresh, local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D daily.

504 Geoffrey St., Cobblestone Plaza. 547-2723. $$ BORRILLO’S PIZZA & SUBS F Specialty pizzas are Borrillo’s Supreme (extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage), white and vegetarian pizzas. Subs and pasta dinners. L & D, daily. 88 San Marco Ave. 829-1133. $ CAFÉ ATLANTICO Traditional and new Italian dishes served in an intimate space. Master Chef Paolo Pece prepares risotto alla pescatora, with shrimp, scallops and seasonal shellfish, in a parmesan cheese basket. BW. D, nightly. 647 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-7332. $$$ CAFÉ ELEVEN F Serving eclectic cuisine like feta spinach egg croissant, apple turkey sandwich, pear-berry salad. Daily chef creations. BW. B, L & D, daily. 501 A1A Beach Blvd.

460-9311. B, $; L & D, $$ CAP’S ON THE WATER F This Vilano Beach mainstay offers coastal cuisine – tapas platters, cioppino, fresh local shrimp, raw oyster bar – indoors or on an oak-shaded deck. Boat access. FB. L, Fri.-Sun., D, nightly. 4325 Myrtle St., Vilano Beach. 824-8794. $$ CARMELO’S PIZZERIA F Authentic New York style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh baked sub rolls, Boars Head meats and cheeses, fresh salads, calzones, strombolis and sliced pizza specials. BW. L & D, daily. 146 King St. 494-6658. $$ CELLAR 6 ART GALLERY & WINE BAR Wolfgang Puck coffees, handmade desserts and light bistro-style fare amid local art. BW. Mon.-Sat. 6 Aviles St. 827-9055. $$ CREEKSIDE DINERY Creekside serves beef, chicken and seafood, with an emphasis on low-country cooking. Outdoor deck with a fire pit. FB. D, nightly. 160 Nix Boatyard Rd. 829-6113. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 3 St. George St. 824-6993. $ THE FLORIDIAN The downtown restaurant serves innovative Southern fare, made with local farmers’ local food. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, ’N’grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. L & D, Wed.-Mon. 39 Cordova St. 829-0655. $$ GYPSY CAB COMPANY F Best of Jax 2010 winner.

International menu features large portions, reasonable prices.

FB. L & D, daily. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$ HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE F In a historic, two-story house, the New Orleans-style eatery has fresh seafood, steaks, jambalaya, etouffée and shrimp. FB. L & D, daily. 46 Avenida Menendez. 824-7765. $$ KINGFISH GRILL At Vilano Bridge’s west end, Kingfish Grill offers casual waterside dining indoors and on the deck, featuring fresh daily catch, house specialties and sushi. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 252 Yacht Club Drive. 824-2111. $$ KINGS HEAD BRITISH PUB F Authentic Brit pub serves fish & chips, Cornish pastie and steak & kidney pie. Tap beers are Guinness, Newcastle and Bass. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 6460 U.S. 1 (4 miles N. of St. Augustine Airport.) 823-9787. $$

THE MANATEE CAFÉ F Serving healthful cuisine using organically grown fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes. B & L, daily. 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 106, Westgate Plaza. 826-0210. $ MANGO MANGO’S BEACHSIDE BAR & GRILL F Caribbean kitchen has comfort food with a tropical twist: coconut shrimp and fried plantains. BW, CM. Outdoor dining. 700 A1A Beach Blvd., (A Street access) St. Augustine Beach. 461-1077. $$ MILL TOP TAVERN F A St. Auggie institution housed in an 1884 building, serving nachos, soups, sandwiches and daily specials. Dine inside or on open-air decks. At the big mill wheel. FB. L & D, daily. 19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329. $$ OASIS RESTAURANT & DECK F Just a block from the ocean, with a tropical atmosphere and open-air deck. Steamed oysters, crab legs, burgers. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-3424. $ PURPLE OLIVE INTERNATIONAL BISTRO F Family-ownedand-operated, offering specials, fresh artisan breads. Soups, salad dressings and desserts made from scratch. BW. D, Tue.Sat. 4255 A1A S., Ste. 6, St. Augustine Beach. 461-1250. $$ RAINTREE Located in a Victorian home, Raintree offers a menu with contemporary and traditional international influences. Extensive wine list. FB. D, daily. 102 San Marco Ave. 824-7211. $$$ THE REEF RESTAURANT F Casual oceanfront restaurant has an ocean view from every table. Fresh local seafood, steak, pasta dishes and daily chef specials. Outdoor dining. FB, CM, TO. L & D daily. 4100 Coastal Hwy. A1A, Vilano Beach. 824-8008. $$ SOUTH BEACH GRILL Located off A1A, south of the S.R. 206 bridge, this two-story beachy destination offers casual oceanfront dining and fresh local seafood. Dine indoors or out on a beachfront deck. FB. B, L & D daily. 45 Cubbedge Road, Crescent Beach. 471-8700. $ SUNSET GRILLE Casual Key West style and a seafood-heavy menu — it’s a consistent Great Chowder Debate winner.

Specialties include baby back ribs, lobster ravioli, coconut shrimp and datil pepper wings with bleu cheese dressing. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 421 A1A Beach Blvd. 471-5555. $$$ THE TASTING ROOM, WINE AND TAPAS Owned by Michael Lugo, this upscale contemporary Spanish restaurant fuses innovative tapas with an extensive wine list. L, Wed.-Sun.; D, nightly. 25 Cuna St. 810-2400. $$ ZHANRAS F Art-themed tapas-style place has small plate items in a casual, contemporary space. Entrée portions available. CM, FB. D, daily; Sun. brunch. 108 Anastasia Blvd. 823-3367. $$

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE With four dining rooms, BlackFinn offers classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, chicken, flatbread sandwiches. Dine indoors or on the patio.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 4840 Big Island Dr. 345-3466. $$ CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR F Casual fine dining.

The menu blends modern American favorites served with international flair. The Fresh Bar offers fine wine, cocktails, martinis. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 1. 619-1931. $$$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches.

9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 11. 646-2874. $ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2010 winner.

13249 City Square Dr. 751-9711. 9039 Southside Blvd., 538-9100. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 401. 996-6900. fiveguys.com $ THE FLAME BROILER Serving food with no transfat, MSG, frying, or skin on meat. Fresh veggies, steamed brown or white rice along with grilled beef, chicken and Korean short ribs are featured. CM, TO. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 103. 619-2786. $ THE GRAPE BISTRO & WINE BAR F More than 145 wines, along with a tapas menu of gourmet fare to pair with the wine list. A wide selection of beer is also served. L & D, daily. 10281 Midtown Parkway, Ste. 119. 642-7111. $$ ISLAND GIRL WINE & CIGAR BAR F Upscale tropical vibe. Walk-in humidor, pairing apps and desserts with 25 wines, ports by the glass. 220+ wines by the bottle; draft, bottled beer. L & D, daily. 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115.

854-6060. $$ JOHNNY ANGELS F The menu reflects its ’50s-style décor, including Blueberry Hill pancakes, Fats Domino omelet, Elvis special combo platter. Shakes, malts. B, L & D, daily. 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120. 997-9850. $ LIBRETTO’S PIZZERIA & ITALIAN KITCHEN F Authentic NYC pizzeria serves Big Apple crust, cheese and sauce, along with third-generation family-style Italian classics, fresh-from-theoven calzones, and desserts in a casual, comfy setting. L & D, daily. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 402-8888. $$ LIME LEAF F Authentic Thai cuisine: fresh papaya salad, pad Thai, mango sweet rice. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Cir., Stes. 108 & 109. 645-8568. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Tossed spring water dough, lean meats, veggies and vegetarian choices make up specialty pizzas, hoagies and calzones. FB. L & D, daily. 9734 Deer Lake Court (at

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Artistic sushi presentations, as well as other authentic Japanese and Thai dishes, await diners at Wakame Japanese and Thai Cuisine, in Bartram Oaks Walk in Julington Creek.

Tinseltown). 997-1955. mellowmushroom.com $ MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET F Featuring seafood, an everchanging menu of more than 180 items includes cedarroasted Atlantic salmon and seared salt-and-pepper tuna.

FB, CM. L & D, daily. 5205 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Ctr. 645-3474. $$$ THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE F The recipes, unique to the Pancake House, call for only the freshest ingredients. CM. B, L & D, daily. 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr. 997-6088. $$ OTAKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE F Family-owned steakhouse has an open sushi bar, hibachi grill tables and an open kitchen.

Dine indoor or out. FB, CM, TO. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 7860 Gate Parkway, Stes. 119-122. 854-0485. $$$ RENNA’S PIZZA F Renna’s serves up New York-style pizza, calzones, subs and lasagna made from authentic Italian recipes. Delivery, CM, BW. 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, St. Johns Town Center. 565-1299. rennaspizza.com $$ SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY F Innovative menu of fresh local grilled seafood, sesame tuna, grouper Oscar, chicken, steak and pizza. Microbrewed ales and lagers. FB. L & D, daily. 9735 Gate Pkwy. N. 997-1999. $$ SOUTHSIDE ALE HOUSE F Steaks, fresh seafood, sandwiches and desserts. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9711 Deer Lake Court. 565-2882. $$ STEAMERS CAFE F Steamers’ menu has all-natural and organic items, including wraps, sandwiches, subs, soups, steamer bowls, smoothies and fresh juices. Daily lunch specials. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4320 Deerwood Lake Parkway, Ste. 106. 646-4527. $ SUITE The St. Johns Town Center premium lounge and restaurant offers chef-driven small plates and an extensive list of specialty cocktails, served in a sophisticated atmosphere. FB. D & late-nite, nightly. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 493-9305. $$ TAVERNA YAMAS This Greek restaurant serves char-broiled kabobs, seafood and traditional Greek wines and desserts. FB. L & D daily. 9753 Deer Lake Court. 854-0426. $$ URBAN FLATS F See Ponte Vedra. CM. FB. L & D, daily. 9726 Touchton Road. 642-1488. $$ WASABI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Authentic Japanese cuisine, teppanyaki shows and a full sushi menu. CM. L & D, daily. 10206 River Coast Dr. 997-6528. $$ WHISKY RIVER F Best of Jax 2010 winner. At St. Johns Town Center’s Plaza, Whisky River features wings, pizza, wraps, sandwiches and burgers served in a lively car racingthemed atmosphere (Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s the owner). FB. CM. L & D, daily. 4850 Big Island Drive. 645-5571. $$ WILD WING CAFÉ F Serving up 33 flavors of wings, as well as soups, sandwiches, wraps, ribs, platters and burgers. FB. 4555 Southside Blvd. 998-WING (9464). $$ YUMMY SUSHI F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Teriyaki, tempura, hibachi-style dinners, sushi & sashimi. Sushi lunch roll special.

BW, sake. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 998-8806. $$

SAN JOSE ATHENS CAFÉ F Serving authentic Greek cuisine: lamb, seafood, veal and pasta dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7. 733-1199. $$

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: xxxxxxx CRUISERS GRILL F BestFAX of Jax YOUR 2010 winner.PROOF See Beaches.IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1. 737-2874. $ DICK’S WINGS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. NASCAR-themed PROMISE OF BENEFIT family style sports place serves wings, buffalo tenders, burgers and chicken sandwiches. CM. BW. L & D, daily. 1610 University Blvd. W. 448-2110. dickswingsandgrill.com $ MOJO BAR-B-QUE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Southern Blues kitchen serves pulled pork, brisket and North Carolinastyle barbecue. TO, BW. L & D, daily. 1607 University Blvd. W. 732-7200. $$

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SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK BASIL THAI & SUSHI F Offering Thai cuisine, including pad Thai and curry dishes, and sushi in a relaxing atmosphere. L & D, Mon.-Sat. BW. 1004 Hendricks Ave. 674-0190. $$ b.b.’s F A bistro menu is served in an upscale atmosphere, featuring almond-crusted calamari, tuna tartare and wild mushroom pizza. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri.; brunch & D, Sat. 1019 Hendricks Ave. 306-0100. $$$ BISTRO AIX F Best of Jax 2010 winner. French, Mediterranean-inspired fare, award-winning wines, wood-fired pizzas, house-made pastas, steaks, seafood. Indoor, outdoor dining. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 1440 San Marco Blvd.

398-1949. $$$ CHECKER BBQ & SEAFOOD F Chef Art Jennette serves barbecue, seafood and comfort food, including pulled-pork, fried white shrimp and fried green tomatoes. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3566 St. Augustine Rd. 398-9206. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Big sandwiches, soups, desserts and more than 100 bottled and on-tap beers. BW. L & D, daily.

1704 San Marco Blvd. 398-9500. $ THE GROTTO F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Wine by the glass.

Tapas-style menu offers a cheese plate, empanadas bruschetta, chocolate fondue. BW. 2012 San Marco Blvd. 398-0726. $$ HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE F Authentic Latin American fine dining: picadillo, ropa vieja, churrasco tenderloin steak, Cuban sandwiches. L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, FB. 2578 Atlantic Blvd. 399-0609. $ LAYLA’S OF SAN MARCO Fine dining in the heart of San Marco. Traditional Middle Eastern cuisine, served inside or outside on the hookah and cigar patio. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat.; D, Sun. 2016 Hendricks Ave. 398-4610. $$ MATTHEW’S Chef’s tasting menu or seasonal à la carte menu featuring an eclectic mix of Mediterranean ingredients. Dress is business casual, jackets optional. FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 2107 Hendricks Ave. 396-9922. $$$$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Historic 1930s diner offers award-winning breakfast and lunch. Fresh seafood and Southern cooking. Bring your own wine. B & L, daily. 3302 Hendricks Ave. 398-3701. $$ THE OLIVE TREE MEDITERRANEAN GRILL F Mediterranean homestyle healthy plates, including hummus, tebouleh, grape leaves, gyros, Mediterranean potato salad, kibbeh, spinach pie, Greek salad and daily specials. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 1705 Hendricks Ave. 396-2250. $$ PIZZA PALACE F At Pizza Palace, it’s all homemade from Mama’s award-winning recipes: spinach pizza and chickenspinach calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 1959 San Marco Blvd.

399-8815. $$

© 2011

AUGUST 23-29, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 39

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s, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 080911 PULP F The juice bar offers fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees; 30 kinds of smoothies, some blended with flavored ROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 soy milks and organic frozen yogurts and granola. B, L & D,

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RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Consistent Best of Jax winner.

Midwestern prime beef, fresh seafood, upscale atmosphere.

FB. D, daily. 1201 Riverplace Blvd. 396-6200. $$$$ SAKE HOUSE See Riverside. 1478 Riverplace Blvd.

306-2188. $$ SAN MARCO DELI F The independently owned & operated classic diner serves grilled fish, turkey burgers and lunch meats roasted daily in-house. Vegetarian options, including tempeh, too. Mon.-Sat. 1965 San Marco Blvd. 399-1306. $ TAVERNA Tapas, small-plate items, Neapolitan-style wood-fired pizzas and entrées are served in a rustic yet upscale interior.

BW, TO. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 1986 San Marco Blvd. 398-3005. $$$ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. This newest San Marco location offers a lunch buffet. L & D, daily. 1430 San Marco Blvd. 683-2444. $

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AROMAS BEER HOUSE Aromas offers customer favorites like ahi tuna with a sweet soy sauce reduction, backyard burger, and triple-meat French dip. FB. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 928-0515. $$ BISTRO 41° F Casual dining features fresh, homemade breakfast and lunch dishes in a relaxing atmosphere. TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $ BLUE BAMBOO Contemporary Asian-inspired cuisine includes rice-flour calamari, seared Ahi tuna, pad Thai. Street eats: barbecue duck, wonton crisps. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 3820 Southside Blvd. 646-1478. $$ Sales Rep dl BOMBA’S SOUTHERN HOME COOKING F The neighborhood comfort spot offers Southern homestyle fare, featuring fresh veggies. Outside dining is available. CM, FB. L & D, daily.

8560 Beach Blvd. 997-2291. $$ BUCA DI BEPPO Italian dishes served family-style in an eclectic, vintage setting. Half-pound meatballs are a specialty.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10334 Southside Blvd. 363-9090. $$$ CITY BUFFET CHINESE RESTAURANT F An extensive selection of Chinese fare, including beef, fish, crabs, chicken, pork, desserts, ice cream, at its all-you-can-eat buffet. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 5601 Beach Blvd. 345-2507. $ EL POTRO F Family-friendly, casual, El Potro cooks it fresh, made-to-order – fast, hot, simple. Daily specials and buffet at most locations. BW. L & D, daily. 5871 University Blvd. W., 7330844. 11380 Beach Blvd., 564-9977. elpotrorestaurant.com $ EUROPEAN STREET F See San Marco. 5500 Beach Blvd.

398-1717. $ GENE’S SEAFOOD F Serving fresh Mayport shrimp, fish, oysters, scallops, gator tail, steaks and combos. L & D, daily.

11702 Beach Blvd. 997-9738. $$ GOLDEN CORRAL See Mandarin. 4250 Southside. 620-0600. $$ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F A local institution since 1975 serves house-baked pita bread, kabobs, falafel and daily lunch buffet. Best of Jax 2010 winner. TO, BW. L & D, Mon.Sat. 4323 University Blvd. S. 733-5141. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE See Downtown. 2025 Emerson St. 346-3770. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal.

8206 Philips Hwy. 732-9433. $

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SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE F This stylish gastropub has Southern-style cuisine made with a modern twist: Dishes are paired with international wines and beers, including a large selection of craft and IPA brews. FB. L & D, daily. 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16. 538-0811. $$ SUNSET 30 TAVERN & GRILL F Located in Latitude 30, Sunset 30 serves familiar favorites, including seafood, steaks, sandwiches, burgers, chicken, pasta and pizza. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 10370 Philips Hwy. 365-5555. $$ TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA F Premium New York-style pizza from a brick-oven — the area’s original gluten-free pizzeria. Plus calzones, soups and salads; Thumann’s noMSG meats, Grande cheeses and Boylan soda. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2. 565-1999. $$ URBAN ORGANICS The local produce co-op offers seasonal fresh organic vegetables and fruit. Open Mon.-Sat. 5325 Fairmont St. 398-8012.

WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F Best of Jax 2010 winner.

AYCE sushi and two teppanyaki grill items are included in buffet price. FB. L & D, daily. 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C. 363-9888. $$

FolioWeekly

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE BOSTON’S RESTAURANT & SPORTSBAR F A full menu of sportsbar faves; pizzas till 2 a.m. Dine inside or on the patio. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13070 City Station Dr., River City Marketplace. 751-7499. $$ CASA MARIA F The family-owned restaurant serves authentic Mexican fare, including fajitas and seafood. The specialty is tacos de azada. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104. 757-6411. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE See Downtown. 5945 New Kings Rd. 765-8515. $ JOSEPH’S PIZZA & ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Gourmet pizzas, pastas. Authentic Italian entrees like eggplant parmigiana, shrimp scampi. BW. L & D, daily. 7316 N. Main St. 765-0335. $$ MILLHOUSE STEAKHOUSE F A locally-owned-andoperated steakhouse with choice steaks from the signature broiler, and seafood, pasta, Millhouse gorgonzola, homemade desserts. CM, FB. D, nightly. 1341 Airport Rd. 741-8722. $$ RIVERCITY ISLAND GRILL & CHILL F This new Northside place offers casual fare: seafood, wings, burgers. 10 highdef TVs, drink specials and club nights complete the cool vibe. L & D, daily. 13141 City Station Dr. 696-0802. $$ SALSARITA’S FRESH CANTINA F Southwest cuisine made from scratch; family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 131, River City Marketplace. 696-4001. $ THREE LAYERS CAFE F Lunch, bagels, desserts, and the adjacent Cellar serves fine wines. Inside and courtyard dining.

BW. B, L & D, daily. 1602 Walnut St., Springfield. 355-9791. $ 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL F The menu features popular favorites: salads, sandwiches and pizza, as well as fine European cuisine. Nightly specials. 2467 Faye Rd., Northside. 647-8625. $$ UPTOWN MARKET F In the 1300 Building at the corner of Third & Main, Uptown serves fresh fare made with the same élan that rules Burrito Gallery. Innovative breakfast, lunch and deli selections. BW, TO. 1303 Main St. N. 355-0734. $$

WINE TASTINGS ANJO LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Thur. 9928 Old Baymeadows

Ste. 1, 646-2656 © 2011Rd.,FolioWeekly

AROMAS CIGAR & WINE BAR Best of Jax 2010 winner. Call for schedule. 4372 Southside Blvd., 928-0515 BLUE BAMBOO 5:30-7:30 p.m., every first Thur. 3820 Southside Blvd., 646-1478 COPPER TOP SOUTHERN AMERICAN CUISINE Wine Down 6-8 p.m. every Wed. 1712 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 249-4776 THE GIFTED CORK Tastings daily. 64 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 810-1083 THE GRAPE 5-7:30 p.m. every Wed.; 1-4 p.m. every Sat. 10281 Midtown Pkwy., Ste. 119, SJTC, 642-7111 THE GROTTO 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726 MONKEY’S UNCLE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1850 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-1070 NORTH BEACH BISTRO 6-8 p.m. every Tue. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 OCEAN 60 6-8 p.m every Mon. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 PUSSERS CARIBBEAN GRILL 6 p.m., every second Fri. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766 RIVERSIDE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1035 Park St., Five

40 | folio weekly | August 23-29, 2011

Points, 356-4517 THE TASTING ROOM 6-8 p.m. every first Tue. 25 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 810-2400 TASTE OF WINE Daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 9, Atlantic Beach, 246-5080 III FORKS PRIME STEAKHOUSE 5-6:30 p.m. every Mon. 9822 Tapestry Circle, Ste. 111, St. Johns Town Center, 928-9277 TOTAL WINE & MORE Noon-6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 300, 998-1740 URBAN FLATS 5-8 p.m. every Wed. 330 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-5515 WHOLE FOODS MARKET 6 p.m. every Thur. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 288-1100 THE WINE BAR 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0211 WINE WAREHOUSE 4-7 p.m. every Fri. 665 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 246-6450 4434 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 448-6782 1188 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, 389-9997 4085 A1A S., St. Augustine Beach, 471-9900 ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL 6-8 p.m., every first & third Wed. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Intracoastal W., 221-7066

The Mustard Seed Cafe

Located inside Nassau Health Foods, The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials include local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available — all prepared with Lisa Harter’s impeccable style. Popular items are ginger chicken salad, falafel pitas, black bean burgers and Asian noodles with tuna. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon.-Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net 833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141

Lulu’s at The Thompson House

Lulu’s owners, Brian and Melanie Grimley, offer an innovative lunch menu, including po’boys, salads and seafood “little plates” served in the gardens of the historic Thompson House. Dinner features fresh local seafood (Fernandina shrimp is the focus every Thursday), and nightly specials. An extensive wine list and beer are available. Open for lunch and dinner Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations are recommended.

11 S. Seventh Street 904-432-8394

Plae Restaurant & Lounge

Located in the Spa & Shops at Amelia Island Plantation, PLAE serves bistro style cuisine. The full bar lounge at PLAE has become an instant classic, with artistic décor and live entertainment nightly. Open at 5:30 p.m. for dinner daily; reservations accepted.

80 Amelia Village Cir. 904-277-2132

Cafe Karibo

Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured. Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub — the only one on the island — offers on-site beers and great burgers and sandwiches.

27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269

29 South Eats

This chic, neighborhood bistro has it all — great ambience, fantastic food, an extensive wine list and reasonable prices. The eclectic menu offers traditional world cuisine with a modern whimsical twist and Chef Scotty Schwartz won Best Chef in Folio Weekly’s 2007 Best of Jax readers poll. Open for lunch Tues.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., for dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. Mon.-Thur., till 10 p.m. Fri. and Sat. Brunch is 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 29southrestaurant.com 29 S. Third Street 904-277-7919

Brett’s Waterway Café

Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef. Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily.

Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660

T-ray’s Burger Station

Moon River Pizza treats customers like family.

Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beers. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you.

925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400

T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items.

In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go!

Now serving Beer & Wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays.

202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310

The Surf

Jack & Diane’s

Picante Grill Rotisserie Bar

Sliders Seaside Grill

Moon River Pizza

Enjoy a casual beach atmosphere in the full-service restaurant, bar and huge oceanview deck. Extensive menu features delicious steaks, fresh seafood and nightly specials. Also featuring salads, wraps, burgers, seafood baskets and our famous all-you-can-eat wing specials (Wed. & Sun.). Take-out available. Open at 11 a.m. daily for lunch, dinner and late-night menu. Entertainment nightly and 29 TVs throughout.

3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-261-5711 Brand-new Picante offers the vibrant flavors of Peru and Latin America, served in a contemporary atmosphere. The menu includes authentic Peruvian cebiche and home-style empanadas. An extensive selection of boutique South American wines and craft brew beers are offered. A children’s menu and take-out are available. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner daily.

464073 S.R. 200, Ste. 2, Yulee 904-310-9222

The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina. From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair. Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner! You’ll love every bite!

708 Centre Street 904-321-1444

Oceanfront dining at its finest. Award-winning crab cakes, fresh daily seafood specials and homemade desserts. Sliders has Amelia Island’s only waterfront Tiki Bar, as well as a children’s playground and live music every weekend. The dining experience is complete with brand-new second-story banquet facilities, bar and verandah. Open at 11 a.m. daily, with happy hour from 4-7 p.m. Mon.-Fri. Make Sliders Seaside Grill your place to be for friends and family, entertainment and the best food on the East Coast. Call for your next special event.

1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-277-6652

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville August 23-29, 2011 | folio weekly | 41

Advertising proof this is a copyright protected proof ©

ons, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 072611 PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

of benefit

sUpport

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Lactose Intolerance

Berjuan Toys is already selling its Breast Milk Baby online ($70) and expects to have it in stores later this year. The doll works by the child-”mother” donning a halter top with flowers positioned as nipples, and when the baby comes into contact with a flower, sensors mimic sucking sounds. Although dolls that demonstrate toileting functions are already on the market, breastfeeding activists are more enthusiastic about this one, hopeful that girls’ comfort with breastfeeding will result in decreased bottlefeeding later on. Opponents have denounced the doll as forcing girls to “grow up” too soon and with choices too complicated for their age, which according to the manufacturer is as young as 3.

The Continuing Crisis

Advertising proof

Frances Ragusa, 75, was back in court in Brooklyn, N.Y., in June claiming child support said was© never paid by husband Philip this is a copyright protectedsheproof Ragusa, 77, in their divorce settlement 33 years ago. The “children,” of course, long ago became ons, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 071911 adults, but the $14,000 judgment has grown, with interest, to about $100,000. In PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 July, Frances told the New York Post she called several Produced by ab Checked by Philip Sales Repmonths rl earlier to discuss the of benefit sUpport Ask for Action amount but Philip began to cry. “Don’t let this case go to trial,” she recalled telling him. “[I] f you think I’m going to forget it, Phil, you’re stuck on stupid.”

Carole Green was fined $1,000 in July by a court in Leavenworth County, Kan., for littering the property of the same Bonner Springs resident “most afternoons” for the past two © 2011 years. Green apologized and said the charge was a complete surprise. She said when she starts out in her SUV every day, and drinks a bottle of tea, it just happens that she finishes it at about the same spot on her journey — in front of Gary Bukaty’s property — and that’s where she tosses the bottle. She promised to stop.

The Perfect Society: Rules to assure correct, “progressive” behavior were recently proposed by the San Francisco Commission of Animal Control and Welfare and the Colorado Department of Human Services. The San Fran agency would ban the sale of all pets in the city limits, from dogs to gerbils to goldfish. (“Why fish? Why not fish?” asked one exasperated commission member, bristling at criticism.)

Animals sold as food for other animals would be included but not animals sold as food for © 2011 humans. Daycare centers in Colorado would be required, if it made dolls available at playtime, to have dolls of three different races.

In England, a Southampton University researcher told an academic conference in Stockholm in July that his work, demonstrating that women who stop smoking even after becoming pregnant have healthier babies, is important because he found pregnant women rationalize continued smoking, in part to have smaller babies that will be less uncomfortable to deliver.

Small Town Democracy: The City Council of Gould, Ark. (pop. 1,100), voted in July to make it illegal for its citizens to form “groups” without written permission from the council. The mayor and city council are feuding over the budget, and the council, trying to stifle lobbying by a group supporting the mayor, has taken down all “groups.” However, the ordinance appears to blatantly violate the First Amendment.

FolioWeekly

FolioWeekly

42 | folio weekly | August 23-29, 2011

Chutzpah!

Inmate Johnathan Pinney, 26, petitioned U.S. District Court in Chicago in July, demanding state and federal officials stop arresting him (because he did nothing illegal, he wrote, despite his current four-year sentence for aggravated battery on a police officer).

Pinney helpfully suggested a way for the federal government to compensate him for all the grief it’s caused him: The government should give him $50 billion “restitution” and award him uninhabited land so he can start his own country, with sovereign and diplomatic immunity. WBBM Radio noted Pinney appeared to solicit romance on his MySpace page by writing that he “hopes to get into a committed relationship with a woman, but wouldn’t mind if it meant ‘leaving this world and marrying an alien with similar attonomy [sic] and genetics.’“ Even though Michigan schoolteacher Marcie Rousseau was sentenced in December to at least four years in prison for having sex with a high school boy in Saginaw and Midland counties, the episode’s not over. Now, the “victim” has filed a lawsuit against Rousseau and school officials for what his lawyer described as “not consensual” sex. The unnamed, then-16-yearold admitted to at least 100 acts of sexual intercourse, and 75 “other” sex acts, and asks at least $1 million for “physical, psychological and emotional injury.” Using the “minimum” numbers, it works out to at least $5,700 per sex act, and since $1 million is sought on each of the seven federal-law claims and three state-law claims, the best-case scenario regards each sex act as a $57,000 burden.

Redneck Chronicles

Ronald Adams, 49, was arrested in June for assaulting an 8-year-old boy in his home in Ouachita Parish, La., after an argument over which TV show to watch. Adams allegedly threw a TV remote, hitting the child in the head, because the kid insisted on “cartoons” while Adams preferred “wrestling.”

Authorities in St. Lucie County, Fla., investigated an incident in May in which a woman allegedly fired an AR-15 rifle at a target inside her bedroom closet and in which the gunshots went through the wall and damaged a washing machine, springing a water leak throughout the residence. Officials said the woman’s husband fired shots, too, and that it wasn’t the first time the couple had engaged in bedroom target practice.

Names in the News (For Immature Readers Only, Please!)

Arrested (again) for prostitution; this time, Columbus, Ga., April; previously in NOTW, in Tampa, Fla., ’09), Ms. Suk Kim Ho, 46.

Charged with conspiracy to commit child molestation; Woodstock, Ga., June, Mr. Patrick Molesti, 58.

Arrested for lewdness for allegedly exposing himself; Howe Township, Pa., June, Mr. Handy H. Wood, 35 (not to be confused with the man arrested in Columbia, Mo., in July, on suspicion of the same thing, Mr. Willy Wood, 54).

Charged with DUI in a crash into a library; Buffalo, N.Y., July, Mr. Jack Goff, 47.

Chuck Shepherd WeirdNews@earthlink.net

BEAUTIFUL ITALIAN GODDESS I used to see and talk to you very often. You were the most beautiful girl I have ever known.

Last time we talked you said that you were confused. I still think about you all the time. I know you read these often and I know you don’t like phones but call me sometime. When: June 19, 2011. Where: Jacksonville. #1174-0823 NAVAL ENCHANTRESS @ MAVERICKS We met @ Mavericks on 7/21. You’re an IT specialist whose recent work is stunning but it was your face that caught my eye. Helen of Troy had nothing on you. We talked upstairs. Let’s meet for a bite. When: July 21, 2011. Where: Maverick’s. #1173-0823 SEXY WHISKY RIVER VIXEN You: HOTT, Brunette, Bartender.

Dark skin, long legs, brown eyes. I heard a waitress call you “Cocoa.” I wanted to say hello but you seemed very intimidating. Those jean short shorts had a playa feeling like woah. Me: chocolate thunder from down under. Wanna play in the rain?

When: August 6, 2011. Where: Whisky River. #1172-0823 HANDSOME GUY IN OHIO HAT We caught an elevator together at the Downtown Library. You told me my daughter reminded you of your niece. What a great way to break the ice. You said you were new in town from Ohio and I would love to show you the city. When: August 2011. Where: Downtown Library. #1171-0816 BEER DELIVERY GUY Me: Hot blonde in red Jeep. You: Hot guy in Budweiser truck. We locked eyes at the light in River City Market Place, it was love at first sight for me. Was it for you?

Let’s meet and have a beer. When: August 8, 2011. Where: River City Market Place. #1170-0816 THORNTON PARK HOTTIE You were walking past my friends and I as we were headed toward the pool. You were wearing a pink shirt and shorts on the second floor of building seven of Thornton Park. We smiled at each other and I wish we could get to know each other more. When: August 8, 2011. Where: Thornton Park, Building 7. #1169-0816 ADAM LEVINE LOOK ALIKE Everyone made me feel awful about not talking to you after you left because you’re “so my type.” You were in on Saturday with your family wearing a black tee and a tattoo sleeve, I was the shy brunette server with a nose-ring running around. Let’s get matching tattoos?

Would love to see you again. When: August 6, 2011. Where: Al’s Pizza Ponte Vedra. #1168-0816 10 RANDOM ITEMS OR LESS You were behind me in line in the express checkout. You had on a blue shirt and glasses with a sub, potato salad, red bull and ice cream. I had corn, a Kit Kat, cookie dough and my tic tac fix. Let’s go grocery shopping again sometime soon. When: August 6, 2011. Where: Publix on Roosevelt. #1167-0816 WILD HAIRED BLONDE Wild, sexy blonde hair and a huge smile. Saw you at GC with guy, but not sure if you were together or not? In passing, I said how you put the girls that work there to shame. I would love for you to work for me?? When: July 26, 2011. Where: Towncenter. #1166-0809 WAITRESS I CAN’T WAIT FOR ME: Gray shirt, black shorts, black Irish golf hat. YOU: Blonde curly hair, silky legs with three tattoos. I could not keep my eyes off you. Let me show you what life on the Island is really like. :) When: July 29, 2011.

Where: Hurricane’s at Fleming Island. #1165-0809 DANCING OR SEIZING? I couldn’t tell what you were doing, but I liked it. I see you all the time in 5 Points. You: dark-haired party queen. Me: don’t know what to say. Maybe you can show me some moves? When: July 26, 2011. Where: Lomax Lodge, Birdies. #1164-0809

LUNCHTIME MEDITATION … OH MAN! I was in the back row, red shirt, cargo shorts, black hair; you sat to my right, light brown skin, skinny jeans, beautiful smile. I couldn’t pay attention to my breath! I promised I’d talk to you but I’m way too shy. I left, came back, passed you in the spirituality section and you smiled but I still wussed out! When: July 12, 2011. Where: Jacksonville Public Library Southeast Region. #1160-0719 THE ATLANTIC ATLANTA BRAVES HAT Let’s just say fireworks were not just going off in the sky. I gave you my 15 second intro in a minute and a half. I think we were making googly eyes, but never made it to the beach as planned. You: Tall, cute smile, Braves Hat. Me: Pink dress, light brown hair, fast talker.

Want to go down to the beach? When: July 4, 2011. Where: The Atlantic. #1159-0712 FIREWORKS ON INTRACOASTAL You: Sexy, bald speed demon pedaling over the intracoastal on your beach cruiser. Me: Ginger with a soul. Fireworks exploded when my eyes met your sweaty bod. Can a girl get a tow? When: July 4, 2011. Where: Atlantic Blvd. Intracoastal. #1158-0712 WE SHOULD HAVE WALKED TOGETHER You were paying as I was walking in the store. You gave me a smile that made me forget to talk. I asked the cashier if I could use the restroom because I had a couple of miles to walk to get where I was going. You said you had to do the same. Me: black hat/tattoo sleeve. When: June 28, 2011. Where: Best Choice Store at Oak and Stockton. #1157-0712 BEARDED BRITISH GUY WITH GREAT SMILE At Kickbacks.

You in black tee and jeans. Me in yellow shirt and jeans. You were discussing with your friends why you can’t tip in British strip clubs (the pound is a coin, not $ bill). I asked you to hold my table while I went inside. You smiled and I just couldn’t muster the strength to say anything else. Another chance?

When: July 1, 2011. Where: Kickbacks Gastropub. #1156-0712

why you make face?” Will you be my white horse? Ya Rock!

Me: Filipino who wants to be your girlfriend. When: June 9, 2011. Where: Al’s Pizza. #1153-0712 HERE IS YOUR CHANCE … We talked in front of the Bargain Outlet store on Dunn Avenue and you asked me to give you a chance and I told you that I was spoken for. Well, not now.

So if you still want the chance, then pay the $5 and get the chance to be my Romeo. I just may be your Juliet. Let’s see …

When: March 23, 2011. Where: Dunn Avenue Bargain Outlet. #1152-0705 MISSING VEST, WORKING THE STRIPES You: Server at Biscottis, blk shirt & making stripes look better than ever. Medium to long hair. Me: sat in corner table, ordered a pizza. You gazed in my eyes while refilling my water. I want more pizza and stripes in my life. When: June 28, 2011. Where: Biscottis. #1151-0705 PETITE BLONDE HAIRDRESSER You were a beautiful blonde hairdresser from Orange Park. I was a retired Navy diver and we played a game of who was what. I can’t get you out of my thoughts. I would love to take you out on a date. When: May. Where: The Metro. #1150-0705 GIRAFFE TONGUED BLONDE LASS I do so enjoy our stare-offs, although I have to confess to getting lost in those gorgeous Irish eyes of yours. While I know you have a thing for older men, I must admit to becoming intoxicated by your loveliness, or maybe it’s just those Mirrer Rites. When: Always.

Where: Birdies. #1149-0705 KNIGHT RIDER GIDDY UP! Me: Chocolate Thunder across the bar. You: Blue-eyed, sexy white boy serving up drinks and all the jokes. And yes, I smoked with cigarettes. Settling for your sandwich was just not enough. Let’s get together and see what you’re having tonight... When: June 17, 2011. Where: Ritz. #1148-0628

MY HERO You came marching in as dozens of families waited anxiously to be reunited. I waited nervously for the first time.

I saw you standing tall and handsome. Tan and well built. I walked to you in a coral dress and when our eyes met my heart fluttered. When you smile it jumped, and when you told me I was beautiful it melted. When: June 12, 2011. Where: AFB Moody. #1155-0712

TALL BLONDE DREAD HEAD HOTTIE I first noticed your beautiful blonde dread locks tied in a ponytail. You wore cute black square glasses. You came in with your parents maybe? I sat you and took small glances of you, casually walking by. You were busy talking and I’m too shy, but maybe we could talk and even make some pancakes together sometime? ;) When: June 21, 2011. Where: Original Pancake House at Town Center. #1147-0628

FSCJ CAMPUS AMAZING GIRL You: Blonde haired lady at FSCJ. Your hair is always straight and you wear sexy flats. Me: Guy at FSCJ, always sitting with water jug. Maybe one day you can hydrate my lips. When: Every day. Where: FSCJ Campus. #1154-0712

BROKEN FOOT? SHORT BLONDE DREDS I see you once in a while when I do the morning jog thing while visiting St. Augustine. I haven’t really seen your face. Curiosity rises... When: June 20, 2011. Where: St. Augustine Beach. #1146-0628

TURKISH DELIGHT You: Sexy Turkish man with cowlick making pizza. I was looking at your nose when you said, “Hey honey,

5 POINTS CORNER SATURDAY NIGHT You were tallish with blondish hair wearing a colorful sundress standing on the

corner of 5 Points with a friend. I crossed the street, tall with long hair wearing black jean jacket. I checked you out, we exchanged smiles. I should have turned around. Want to have a smile contest? When: June 18, 2011. Where: 5 Points in front of the Derby restaurant. #1145-0628 SALESMAN THAT CAUGHT MY EYE Tall, handsome, and a gorgeous smile with green eyes. Kia of Orange Park. I test drove a car. You shook my hand and we gazed into each other’s eyes. Best moment of my life. You know who you are. Thanks for the business card. I’ll be keeping in touch. When: March 4, 2011. Where: Kia of Orange Park. #1144-0621 MISSING INGREDIENT FROM BURRITO GALLERY You are more interesting than most. Always with a determined demeanor, pleasant smile, and generous tip. You order the same thing every day for months on end. I admire your consistency, but am full of various recipes that could spice up your life. I hope you’ll come back soon and try something new. Perhaps a fish taco? When: June 1, 2011. Where: Burrito Gallery. #1143-0621 HOT AND SULTRY You: sweaty, sexy, and sultry with nice moves! Me: can’t keep my eyes off you, you pull me to the dance floor. End the night with a romantic walk to the beach.

I just have to find you! When: June 10, 2011. Where: Sun Dog. #1142-0621 YOUR SMART DOG IS A BONUS! :-) June 14: Four P.M., at ATM behind Publix on Baymeadows Rd. You: next in line. Gray SUV, originally from Ohio via California, new to Jax. We discussed smoky air, heat and your intelligent dog. Any chance we could continue over dinner? drinks? (I’ll try to untie my tongue, if you’ll give me a chance!) When: June 14, 2011. Where: ATM behind Publix on Baymeadows Rd. #1141-0621 AN ELEGANT TOMBOY You: friendly smile, brunette, 40ish in golf shirt and black slacks. Me: portly and buttoned-down in khakis, Oxford and topsiders. I winked, you smiled. “Do you date immature men?” I asked. “Almost exclusively,” you responded. Can you love a fool? I never got your number.

When: June 13, 2011. Where: Doctors Express Urgent Care. #1140-0621 HOTTIE IN THE VILLAGE She was tall, long dark hair, beautiful smile and awesome laugh. She was working and looking o so beautiful. I was there with the kids having some pie; love that pie. When: June 13, 2011. Where: Village Inn. #1139-0621 TATTOOED You were at the bar with a buddy; you were drinking red bull and wearing a blue t-shirt. I couldn’t help but notice all the tattoos. I was on business lunch and couldn’t stop to chat... When: June 13, 2011. Where: Benny’s at the Landing. #1138-0621

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IN THE SHOE ROOM!! I saw you in the shoe room at my work, you’re so sweet and sexy that I can’t ever stop thinking about you. Let me in, you won’t regret it! Love you … me! When: July 15, 2011. Where: Jacksonville Beach. #1162-0726

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POOLSIDE CHRISTINA COX LOOKALIKE Me, polka dot shirt and aviator sunglasses. You, board shorts and awesome shoes.

Our eyes met & in case you were wondering, yes, I like girls. I would have tried to talk to you but I was working. You reminded me of Kim from Better Than Chocolate. Let me be your Maggie.

When: July 17, 2011. Where: Pablo Bay Pool. #1161-0726

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August 23-29, 2011 | folio weekly | 43

FreeWill Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19): I predict that in the weeks ahead, you’ll be able to extract an unexpected perk or benefit from one of your less glamorous responsibilities. I predict you’ll decide not to ram headfirst into an obstacle and batter it until it crumbles. Instead, you’ll dream up a roundabout approach more effective at eliminating the obstacle. I predict these departures from habit will show precious secrets about how to escape more negative conditioning in the future.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Dear Astrologer: My life is stagnant and slow. It suffers bone-deep from a lack of changes, good, bad or in between. Why has my karma been deprived of all motion? Why must I go on frozen in such eerie peace and quiet? Can you cast a spell so I’ll be happily disrupted and agitated? Will you predict my sorry state of stillness to be ended soon? Arvind Agnimuka, Taurus from Darjeeling.” Dear Arvind: Funny you should ask. According to my analysis, Taurus tribe members are about to be roused out of their plodding rhythm by a bolt of cosmic mojo. Get ready to rumble —in the best sense of the word.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Readers of Reddit.com were asked to describe their lives in just six words. It would be a good time for you to try this exercise. You’ve reached a juncture in your unfolding destiny when you could benefit from a review that pithily sums up where you’ve been up until now, and where to go next. To inspire you, here are some of the most interesting from Reddit: 1. Early opportunities wasted, now attempting redemption. 2.

Searching tirelessly for that one thing. 3. Living my dream requires modifying dream. 4. Must not turn into my mom.

5. Insane ambition meets debilitating self-doubt. 6. Do you want to have sex? 7. Slowly getting the hang of it. 8. These pretzels are making me thirsty.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I found this unusual classified ad in a small California newspaper. “Wanted: Someone to travel backwards in time with me. This is not a joke. You must be unafraid to see the person you used to be, and you’ve got to keep a wide-open mind about the past — more wide-open than you’ve ever been able to. I have made this trip twice before, and I don’t expect any danger, but there may be a bit of a mess. Please bring your own ‘cleaning implements,’ if you know what I mean.” As crazy as it sounds, I’m thinking you’re right for this gig.

Astrological omens suggest you’ll be doing something similar anyway.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Go where the drama is, but not where the melodrama is. Place yourself in the path of the most interesting power, but don’t get distracted by displays of power dehumanizing or narcissistic. You’re in a phase of your astrological cycle when you have a mandate to intensify your excitement with life and increase your ability to be deeply engaged with what attracts you. Be as brave as you once were when you conquered a big fear and be as curious as you were when you discovered a big secret about who you are. For extra credit, be highly demonstrative in your expression of what you care about.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Of your five senses, which is the most underdeveloped? If you’re a typical Westerner, it’s your sense of smell. You don’t use it with the same level of acuity and interest you have when you’re seeing, hearing, tasting and touching. You may speak excitedly about an image you saw, a song you heard, food you ate or massage you experienced — what they were like, how they made you feel — but rarely with odors. You easily tolerate an ugly building, loud traffic, mediocre food or itchy fabric, and yet you feel a deep aversion to an unappealing smell. Now’s an excellent time to upgrade your olfactory involvement with the world. You benefit greatly from the emotional enrichment of cultivating a more conscious relationship with aromas.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In his older years, after steadfastly cultivating his vices with the care of a connoisseur, the agnostic actor W.C. Fields was caught by an old friend, reading the Bible. Questioned at this departure from his usual behavior, Fields said he was “looking for loopholes.” I suspect a comparable shift may be in the offing for you. In your case, you may be drawn to a source you’ve perpetually ignored or dismissed, or suddenly interested in a subject you’ve long considered to be irrelevant. Good for you. It’s an excellent time to practice opening your mind any number of ways.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Enlightenment is simply this,” said the Zen master. “When I walk, I walk. When I eat, I eat. When I sleep, I sleep.” If that’s true, you now have an excellent chance to achieve at least temporary enlightenment. The universe is virtually conspiring to maneuver you into situations where you can be united with whatever you’re doing. You’ll be less tempted than usual to let your mind wander from the experience at hand, instead relishing the opportunity to commit completely to the scene right in front of you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In August 2009, 120 scientists and their aides staged a BioBlitz in Yellowstone National Park. The goal? Find as many new species as they could in one day. To their surprise and delight, they located more than 1,200, including beetles, worms, lichens and fungi never before identified. An equally fertile phase of discovery could be imminent — all you have to do is make that your intention, then become super-extra double-wildly receptive.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Two dangers threaten the universe: order and disorder,” said poet Paul Valery.

44 | FOLIO WEEKLY | AUGUST 23-29, 2011

That’s especially true for you now, though the “danger” is psychological, not physical, and it’s a relatively manageable hazard. Don’t stay up all night worrying. Still, the looming challenge to your poise is something that requires you activate your deeper intelligence. You need to figure out how to weave a middle way between the extremes of seeking too much order and allowing too much disorder.

What would Goldilocks do?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I watched a Youtube video that showed eight people competing in a weird marathon.

They ran two miles, ate 12 doughnuts, then ran another two miles. I hope you don’t try anything remotely similar to that. If you’re in the mood for outlandish feats and exotic adventures (which I suspect you may be), I suggest you try something more life-enhancing, like making love for an hour, eating an organic gourmet feast, then making love for another hour. It’s a good time for you to be wild, maybe even extreme, about getting the healing you need.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the out-of-print book “In Portugal,” A.F.G. Bell defines the Portuguese word saudade as: “a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present, a turning towards the past or towards the future; not an active discontent or poignant sadness, but an indolent dreaming wistfulness.” In my astrological opinion, Pisces, it is imperative that you banish as much saudade from your system as you can. If you want, you can bring it back again later, but for now, you need to clarify and refine your desires for things that are actually possible. And that requires you to purge the delusional ones.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

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August 23-29, 2011 | folio weekly | 45

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Lara’s Theme ACROSS 1 Clothing line?

5 Argentine river that sounds like a fish 11 Ethan’s “Gattaca” co-star 14 Osmond and others 16 Longtime Chrysler model 17 Spill the beans 18 Securities-buying strategy 20 “Go ahead, ask” 21 Last three letters of TNT 22 Language that gave us “kayak” 23 Inexperienced mind, e.g.

25 Historic site in Wyoming 28 Actress who played Candy in “Candy,” ___ Aulin 29 Start-up helper: abbr.

31 The Pep Boys, e.g.

32 Tommy Franks is a ret. one 33 Drink with dim sum 36 Even though 38 Transpire 42 Security device 45 Be suspicious 49 Be finicky 50 Reverse 51 Instant-messaging pioneer 52 Elocution-class no-nos 53 “There’s no one else but me” 55 Amundsen’s quest 57 Do a trick 64 One with burning pants?

65 Velvet add-on 66 Home of “Weekend Edition” 67 Cal or Georgia follower 68 “I’m Chevy Chase” and “You’re not,” for example 75 Editor’s catch 76 Courteous enclosure: 1

2

3

77 78 79 82 85 88 91 92 93 94 96 100 101 103 107 112 113 114 115

118 119 120 121 122 123 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

abbr.

It can ache Jamie Foxx film Arizona sight Former N.Y. governor They played their last game on Dec. 24, 1994 Invigorating Jane Eyre’s pupil James who played a wolf (and a rat) in “Wolf” Paris preposition Referee’s last number Big name in game coverage Alter, in a way Kitten’s comment 1960s muscle car What we’re living in, to Bush or Carter Town, lake, or dam in Panama Do the floor From Nineveh: abbr.

Q: “So, where are all of the LARAs in this puzzle, sweetheart?”

A: “___” Action Exclusions from Santa’s list?

Joint-account holder CIA precursor Wanders Fiji’s capital

14

5 15

18

7

L E E C H

T R I E D

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I D O L

L E N O

I C H A L L E N G E Y O U T O A

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P O R T A E G R E G OO D A D L D V U A C K D R A I S V E E L

9

A N L E L WA I S S N T O D O N A R E D OG H I O T H O H E S I M S U P H I O R S N S T O T I R U L

M E A T

W E T T H E A S WA E S S H

D O E S N I S O S E

46

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52

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58

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101 107

61

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S T E T

E X I T S

S I L A S

I N S E T

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13

94

63

73

74 78

86

87

91 95

103

46 | FOLIO WEEKLY | AUGUST 23-29, 2011

30

67

85

96

97

104 105 106

109 110 111

118

62

72

84

102

114

E A T S

50

90

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37

77

93

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12

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56

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92

36

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S P T I E O S E G A C I EW T H H N O R O A E DW A S H T O S M A A F I N E S E E A L I N I D E N I N G T E S

29

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70

82

88

35

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W I L L I T A E M M A S I A S M A I G H U I N G B U S E D F E T O S H R O E R E

44

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34

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O N C E

24

59

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N E U R A L

11

28 33

41

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M E A R A N N Y D O P D E H A T A L E N F L E T V T R A E A R I L I N G L N K E A T C Z A K A L S M E

10

23 27

39

111 114 116 117

17

32 38

79 80 81 83 84 86 87 89 90 95 97 98 99 102 103 104 105 106 108 109 110

Quattro minus uno Ghana’s capital In ___ (before noon) Shirts and skirts Indy 500 sound Self-centered Have to get Raconteur’s offering With op, a computer manager Fit together Business deductions Private eyes Little bit Broke bread Plane’s place Rod’s partner Madagascar primate “Little” car of song Finishes the lawn Stuffed Indian pastry Show to be so Neck part Under-eave buzzers Truman beat him Vous ___ Gas dispensers Elvis hit, “Stuck ___” Dancer Charisse Dig like a pig Manchurian border river “___ grip!”

Hubbub Storefront info: abbr.

Darling, to a Brit

20

26

31

F I N A L

16

22

25

79

6

B R I N

61 62 63 69 70 71 72 73 74

Solution to “Refills”

19

21

45

15 Reptile’s tail?

16 “___ get this straight ...”

17 Bikini part 18 Skilled 19 Pfizer product 20 Merry refrain 24 Familiar with 26 Saw, for one 27 Bach’s “Mass ___ Minor” 30 Sphere intro 33 Certain music intervals 34 Spur (on) 35 H.S. math course 37 Delaware, the ___ State 39 In no uncertain terms 40 Good last name for a mechanic?

41 Bear in the sky 43 Ton, for one 44 Dog food brand 45 Fall guy 46 Gelatin shaper, in London 47 “Dallas” Miss 48 Shangri-la land 54 Beginners’ rentals on snowy slopes 56 Side 58 Popular brand of supplement for the dairy-intolerant 59 Actress Arthur 60 Surprise win

DOWN Architect Paolo of Arcosanti fame Blowup: abbr.

“For want of ___ ...”

William’s “Thin Man” co-star For each Subside Sitar melody “Is this ___?”

Low-class, in London Secret motive Of a Trojan War figure She brings home the worms Face on a fiver Giver

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CONCORDE

Fractured Fairy Tales

What state educators can learn from the Parable of the Convincing Consultant grew up on a steady diet of Bullwinkle, and the voice of Edward Everett Horton masterfully reworking fairy tales to incorporate a Cold War spin. As absurd as that sounds, those were heady times, which played out under the constant threat of nuclear annihilation. “The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show” left its psychic imprint, a voice of comfort in the midst of insanity, and that is where I find my mind wandering today.

Once again, I am searching for an image to contain a reality I can no longer define in concrete terms. On the other side of the looking glass, all margins of reality fade. With a new school year on the horizon, we need a new story, one allowing us to navigate reality in a world where the boundaries have blurred.

We need a metaphor.

In search of a uniting metaphor, every year about this time, teachers and administrators across the county engage in a collective reading assignment. Often, the books will fall into one of two groups.

The first type is a modern parable written with stock characters meant to inspire us to reflect on our inner nature. Are we buzzards or bluebirds at heart? Anthropomorphism runs rampant in these tales. And they are usually short, which is often the best one can say about a book whose sole purpose is to inspire thoughtful adults to contemplate their inner bird.

The second type is a management book dressed up to look like a tome on educational theory. With glossy covers done up in all the colors of the Creamsicle rainbow, these are emblematic of the collision of two very different worlds. When marketing departments try to guide the intellectual development of academics, strange things start to happen, not the least of which is the genre’s current fixation on “the business of education.”

After several seasons of contemplating my avian consciousness while enjoying fantasies that involve the public flogging of educational theorists who haven’t set foot in a classroom within the past two decades, I would like to propose an alternate reading that involves neither talking animals nor tortured theoretical constructions. It’s high time we all took a second look at “The Emperor’s New Clothes.”

Set in today’s context, the Hans Christian Andersen classic might go a little like this …

Once upon a time, there was a kindly ruler who shared his power with the members of his court.

They were so exceedingly fond of new ideas that they spent all their treasure on learned men who would tell them about the great thoughts that were taking shape beyond their realm. They bought programs for every fiefdom and hired a host of lords to manage their lands. There was no need for them to worry about the day-today operation of the kingdom. That is, after all, why they had serfs. And as you know, serfs are content so long as they have enough bread

to eat and a bit of thatch to cover their heads.

The ruler and his court were paid to think, and think they did.

By and large, the kingdom appeared to be a tidy place. Even the old manors received a fresh coat of paint each fall, and the palace on the banks of the Great River was a sight to behold.

However, it was at about this same time that several manors had begun to fall into disrepair. The outer structures had started to crumble, and the annual fresh coat of paint would no longer adhere. “If only,” thought the

for their efforts.

Now, the king had been around for some time, and had even worked the land himself once long, long ago. He had seen programs come, and he had seen programs go, and not every program lived up to its promises. So he thought it might be a good thing to check on the work of these fellows. Still, it made him a bit uneasy, remembering that their work had the ability to become invisible. After all, invisible books could make for an uncomfortable situation. In fact, the town was abuzz with talk

The swindlers talked rapidly. “See this excellent set of graphs showing all our successes to date?” they said, pointing to the blank screen. “And here, look at this book filled with research indicating that this is, indeed, a most miraculous program.” rulers, “we could find a program to fix this problem.” It didn’t help that the village heralds had begun to trumpet this news in the more remote reaches of the kingdom, and at market, voices of dissent were already beginning to form. Some of the lords had tried bringing their concerns to the court, but each time they were told to return home and put their houses in order — to set the serfs to work repairing the facades. Each time they asked for tools and bricks to complete their work, the court responded there was no money left for supplies. And each time, they returned home a little poorer and a little wiser about how the business of court gets done.

One day, while the ruler and his court were busy thinking, a pair of swindlers came to town. They carried two large trunks filled with brightly decorated books and volumes with ornate covers. They let it be known they were Consultants, and they could create programs of the most miraculous sort.

Their books overflowed with unparalleled knowledge, and only the most discerning of minds could see the words contained within their pages. “To all others, those who are too stupid or too old-fashioned,” they claimed, “the words are invisible.”

“This could be just the thing,” exclaimed the members of the court. “If we buy this magic program, it will solve all our problems! Not only will we at last have the knowledge to repair the manors, we will be able to tell the wise lords from the fools.” They paid the consultants a large sum of money to start the work at once.

The swindlers set up an office and pretended to develop a presentation of their wares, which they projected onto an empty screen. They talked and talked, and they typed and typed, while their printer spit out page after page of blank paper. All the while, they continued to fill their bags with the gold they demanded from the court

of the program’s astonishing powers; everyone far and wide was anxious to see just how stupid their neighbors were.

“I will send a trusted advisor in my place. He is an honest man and wise. He will tell me how the work is progressing.”

So the honest old advisor went to the office where the two swindlers sat projecting away on their empty screen and talking with great passion about the words that failed to appear.

“Why, I can’t see anything at all,” he thought to himself, “but I mustn’t say so. What would people think?”

The swindlers talked rapidly. “See this excellent set of graphs showing all our successes to date?” they said, pointing to the screen. “And here, look at this book filled with research indicating that this is, indeed, a most miraculous program.”

The good old advisor nodded his head in agreement for fear they would know he couldn’t see. The swindlers asked for more money to complete their work, which the advisor supplied.

He returned to the king and told him of their extraordinary presentation, of their charts and graphs and research filling volume after volume, which held him spellbound. He was ashamed, but he knew the king trusted him, and he did not want to let him down.

The court grew excited by the advisor’s report.

They too wanted to see this magical program; but each thought to himself how awkward it might be if another member (certainly not themselves) were unable to see the work. “We will form a focus group,” they announced, “composed of subjects from all walks of the kingdom,” at the same time thinking it would be far better to offer up a manor lord or serf to demonstrate the program’s power to unmask fools than one of their own.

With great fanfare, the entourage arrived at the swindlers’ offices, which had ballooned to

accommodate the extensive nature of their work. The king led the procession, and they were greeted by the two men who eagerly began to put on a show.

One spoke excitedly, gesturing to the large screen, while the other made great work of running the projector shining the invisible images onto the empty wall. “See here, this is the great learning that will save your kingdom.” The audience oohed and ahhed in appreciation of each slide as the machine whirred and displayed frame after frame of emptiness. A serf shifted uneasily in his chair, disappointed that he could not see. Yet he knew that serfs who complained too loudly were sent away to the Bay of the Minotaur.

He joined in with the chorus of approval, remembering that these were his betters, and a serf must always behave as expected, no matter the circumstance.

At last, the show concluded. The focus group erupted in applause, though not a person in the room had seen the magic that had supposedly transpired before their eyes.

“Now it is time for you to see the books.”

The swindlers made a great effort to unload the heavy volumes from their bins. They fawned over each page, and then passed them one by one into the crowd. The king glanced discreetly about, wondering if he was the only one who could not see a thing, no matter how hard he looked. The members of the court thumbed through the pages, doing their best to mask their bewilderment at their emptiness. At last, a book reached the hands of a young boy who had been invited to witness this most momentous day in the kingdom.

“Tell us, what do you think of the beautiful pictures on the page?” the good king asked the child. “Aren’t they magnificent?”

The child looked and looked, wanting to please the kindly ruler, but at last responded, “Sir, there’s nothing here.”

A member of the court, sensing trouble, cut him off, “Don’t be silly, child. Why, this book is filled with page after page of magical images — see here,” he said, pointing, “there’s a unicorn, and there,” with the slightest hint of menace in his voice, “a wicked troll.”

A growing murmur spread throughout the room, “The child says the book is empty.”

The boy responded again, eyes wide, “But sir, I can’t see anything at all.”

“You just need a little help so you can read the book better,” the advisor replied and had the child removed for additional instruction.

A hush fell over the hall, the brazen swindlers daring with their gaze any of the adults in the room to contradict the spell they had woven over them …

It could happen.

Lydia Harrington

Harrington is not now, nor has she ever been, a consultant.

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be at least 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to themail@folioweekly.com or snail mail it to Anne Schindler, Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly.

August 23-29, 2011 | folio weekly | 47

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