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Northeast Florida’s News & Opinion Magazine • April 3-9, 2012 • To The Teeth • 127,212 readers every week

Underground animator Don Hertzfeldt draws from a strange and unsettling source. p. 36

A re-bid of the city’s entertainment facilities seems crafted to favor the contractor who already runs them. p. 7

FREE

Tebow trades small-town perks for major-market benefits. p. 13

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NEWS A rebid of city entertainment facilities seems crafted to favor the contractor who already runs them. p. 7 An influx of combat vets with legal issues prompts the creation of a special court for broken soldiers. p. 10 Duval honors Trayvon Martin with a march and a call for justice. p. 11 BUZZ, BOUQUETS & BRICKBATS The Gay Agenda is coming to Jacksonville — prepare to be bored. Plus downtown Jax schedules its first cash mob. p. 9 SPORTS Tebow trades small-town perks for majormarket benefits in his embrace of the Jets. p. 13 ON THE COVER Meaner — and Dumber — than Rats: Hal Crowther on Florida’s unique role in the Republican spectacle. p. 14 OUR PICKS Reasons to leave the house this week. p. 21 MOVIES The big-screen adaptation of “The Hunger Games” is one sci-fi cinematic feast. p. 23 Cover Design by Chaz Bäck.

29 MUSIC Cursive’s Tim Kasher brings a loud, fun alternative to his moody solo work. p. 28 Legendary horn man Eddie Shaw lives the blues — and survives to tell the tale. p. 29 Politically cognizant rockers Chroma balance revolutionary zeal with the daily grind. p. 30 ARTS Underground animator Don Hertzfeldt puts poetry in motion – in fresh and unsettling ways. p. 36 Artist Mitch O’Connell helps kitsch claim its rightful artistic throne. p. 38 BACKPAGE The act of voting in the upcoming presidential election is both meaningful and not entirely consequential. p. 50 EDITOR’S NOTE p. 4 MAIL p. 5 I ♥ TELEVISION p. 12 LIVE MUSIC LISTING p. 31 ARTS LISTING p. 37 HAPPENINGS p. 39 DINING GUIDE p. 40 NEWS OF THE WEIRD p. 45 FREEWILL ASTROLOGY p. 46 I SAW U p. 47 CLASSIFIEDS p. 48 APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 3

Live Through This

The art, life and legacy of Florida author Harry Crews “The world is a fucking bear trap. And yes, there is joy and compassion and mercy, God knows. But as a writer, I refuse to blink at the hard realities.”

— Harry Crews, in a Folio Weekly interview published Oct. 31, 1995

H

e was the unlikeliest of university professors: often drunk; tattooed and be-mohawked back when such things were still transgressive; prone to bar fights. His fiction was dark, haunting and focused on the freaks and fringe-dwellers of mainstream nightmares. His nonfiction was even grimmer, drawn from the

Crews wrote 23 books in his life, and they were not without flaws (or even typos). But they spoke in a voice equal parts Faulkner and Bukowski – inimitably human, terrifyingly real and unflinchingly honest. Thankfully, it’s a voice that won’t be silenced by death. hardscrabble existence of a childhood shaped by tragedy, poverty and weeping wounds.

Whether living on a small sharecropper’s plot in Bacon County, Ga., or in the shotgun shacks of downtown Jacksonville, he grew up in a place as distant from middle America as the slums of Mumbai. As he mused in the 2003 documentary, “Searching for the WrongEyed Jesus” (http://bit.ly/GW9UYA),“The first thing that struck us was everybody in the Sears catalogue was perfect. Wasn’t any bald heads.

Everybody had all the fingers that was coming to ’em. Nobody had any open and running sores on their bodies. … In our world, everybody was maimed and mutilated.”

Crews died last week, at age 76, from complications of neuropathy, a nerve disease that simultaneously dulls sensation and causes pain — an indelicate metaphor for much of his life experience. His writing, on the other hand, was an exquisite sensory experience, steeped in tactile truths, and a seeming compulsion to expose human brutality and individual vulnerability.

Needless to say, it wasn’t for everyone. His books were “preternaturally violent,” in the words of The New York Times, and populated by sexual and social deviants. While Crews eventually enjoyed a measure of literary and professional success, he never assimilated at the University of Florida campus where he worked from 1968-1997, teaching graduate and undergraduate fiction.

“For some unknown reason, I got the strange feeling that the other professors might have been appalled by the behavior of their ‘colleague’,” writes UF alumnus and Alternative Reel blogger Rich Weidman in a remembrance (http://bit.ly/HpCsNw). “For his own part, Crews didn’t seem to give a shit. When he wasn’t teaching students, Crews was out getting 4 | folio weekly | APRil 3-9, 2012

drunk, pumping iron, studying karate, taking a coast-to-coast motorcycle excursion, hiking a portion of the Appalachian Trail from Georgia to Maryland, training hawks, kicking some ass in a sleazy bar or getting his ass kicked in same bar. … And writing, always writing.”

Crews, who briefly taught middle school in Jacksonville, lived outside Gainesville at the time, in a lake cabin that lacked TV, telephone, even mail delivery, and he typed at a desk made of cinderblocks and an old door. But if his life was cut off from ordinary society, his connection with readers was visceral. As the Times wrote after his death, “Though his books captivated many reviewers (they bewildered others and repelled still others), they attracted a cadre of readers so fiercely devoted that the phrase ‘cult following’ seems inadequate to describe their level of ardor.” (Indeed. Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth formed a band with punk legend Lydia Lunch and named it “Harry Crews” — quite possibly the cultural capstone in the universe of “cult following.”)

Crews wrote 23 books in his life, and they were not without flaws (or even typos). But they spoke in a voice equal parts Faulkner and Bukowski — inimitably human, terrifyingly real and unflinchingly honest.

Thankfully, it’s a voice that won’t be silenced by death.

Crews left behind a handful of really exceptional books, generations of inspired writers and enough rage, bile and hope to shake up readers for decades to come. As he himself noted in his 1974 autobiography, “A Childhood,” “Nothing is allowed to die in a society of storytelling people.”

Here’s to immortality, Harry. RIP. Anne Schindler themail@folioweekly.com

It’s amazing people try to use the teachings of Christ to excuse their hatred of gay people when homophobia goes against the very essence of His teachings.

Michael J. Allen Neptune Beach via email

Crabby Chic

Guilty as Charged

George Zimmerman is as good as guilty with Angela the Executioner on the case (“The Punisher,” March 6, http://bit.ly/ypFATx).

You can’t say she is not transparent. She knows that turning as many misdemeanors into felonies (and to convictions) is a sure road to Tallahassee.

Angela doesn’t care how many people’s lives she ruins or how much taxpayer money she spends doing it.

With a local district attorney with an eye on the state prosecutor’s job and a sherifflobbyist, Jacksonville has a new power couple.

Don’t bogart that joint, my friend, and don’t leave it in the ashtray. Just an imaginary whiff might send you up the river doing 20-to-life, solely because of an overzealous prosecutor’s lust for higher office.

Angela’s eyes must have lit up and [she smiled] a smile as wide as the St. Johns when she found out that she could charge a 12-yearold boy, whose dad blew his brains out in front of him, with first-degree murder. That will get you to higher office.

George Zimmerman, innocent or guilty: cop a plea. Angela Corey has mounted her white horse and is in full gallop heading South. Jacksonville’s own executioner and her ambitions must be stopped, and soon. Harry Shorstein, we need you.

Rick Mansfield Ponte Vedra Beach via email

Phobia’s Home

This is in response to Mark Mechling’s letter about the teachings of Christ and “family values” (Mail, March 27), which is just another term for being anti-gay. Jesus never condemned homosexuals, and when He met one — via the Roman Centurion trying to heal his younger male slave — He said of him, “Never have I seen faith greater than this.” He also mentions homosexuals again in Matthew as “born eunuchs” and again does not condemn them.

The original text of the Bible doesn’t condemn gay people. For example, Corinthians was condemning masturbation instead less than 100 years ago. Christianity has always been used as the excuse to discriminate against minorities and it’s once again being used as a tool to justify hating another. Gandhi said it best when he stated, “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

Thanks to Gordon Ramsay, I understand it’s often a fine line between undercooked seafood and properly prepared, not overdone seafood.

But concerning Jim Draper’s gorgeous crab painting on the cover of Folio Weekly (Bite

By Bite by Neighborhood, March 20), as Jim stated in Folio Weekly’s video (folioweekly. com), it “looked like a restaurant had just served it up.”

Cooking crab drastically changes the color scheme. Would you all at Folio Weekly please advise what restaurant is serving up live crabs on plates? That would be one I want to stay well clear of.

R. Hawxhurst Jacksonville via email

It’s amazing that people try to use the teachings of Christ to excuse their hatred of gay people when homophobia goes against the very essence of his teachings.

Santorum “Surge”

Wow. In response to the March 20 Mail, on weird Catholic Church/Rick Santorum associations: Are they really lining up to get a 500-year-old co-sponsor-partnership-deal and any associated conservative-defense-babbling support? Oh, wait … they (the Catholic Church) apologized about the Crusades (there were a couple I remember) — didn’t they?

Killed a bunch of innocent people? Like more than 10?

Enough already. We had eight years of substandard government, leading us to the best promise since Clinton paid off our deficit (remember that?). And we are yet hundreds of years and four years absent-minded!?

Tastes like chicken to me!

Tom Nuijens Neptune Beach

School Fool

Hmmm. So the Duval County Public Schools are being disingenuous, and that’s news (Backpage, March 20)? Let me get this straight.

To appear to be a “B” district, they load kids who can’t read on grade level into A.P. courses and have a horrendous pass rate. Their website says the main aim of the system is to assure the academic success of each student. Someone is telling a lie.

I remember when Joe Wise was the superintendent and he proclaimed that all Duval students — 100 percent — were college-bound.

You heard me. He had a press conference and the School Board stood alongside him, nodding

APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 5

Locally Owned and Independent since 1987

their heads in agreement.

What’s next? Proclaim that every student/ athlete — including the bench-sitters — will get a scholarship and play college sports?

These people will look right in your face and recite ridiculous drivel such as this, and we

These people will look right in your face and recite ridiculous drivel such as this, and we all nod our heads at the bullshit they feed us. all nod our heads at the bullshit they feed us.

We can all see the elephant in the room and it’s you — all of you at the administration building who keep up this charade.

Gawd, our school system sucks. Off with their heads!

Mike Savage Jacksonville Beach

Forever and Ever, Amen

Re: Tricia Booker’s Guest Editorial (March 6, http://bit.ly/AbT6qN).

As Pope Paul VI wrote in his encyclical, “Humanae Vitae,” artificial contraception would reduce women to sex objects. His vision was prophetic and “Humanae Vitae” remains the single most incisive work on human sexuality in history. Contraception reduces the sex act to mutual masturbation.

The function of sex is the propagation of the species. This is a conclusion that has been shared by no less a secular mind than Nat Hentoff, who stated that the only earthly institution with a consistent view of sex and its relationship to life was the Catholic Church, and more and more other Christian sects are agreeing.

Long after Tricia Booker, Benedict XVI and this writer are gone from this life, the Catholic Church will still be a force for peace,

Contraception reduces the sex act to mutual masturbation. brotherhood and social stability. Its dogma has stood for nearly 2,000 years. There is no reason for it to roll over for the dictates of fashion embraced by her or anyone else.

Roderick T. Beaman Via email

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6 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 3-9, 2012

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NewsBuzz

In It To Win It

“Most people think of two men having sex. This project is to push back on that stereotype.”

— Randy Roberts Potts, the gay grandson of evangelist Oral Roberts, who has created a performance art piece called “The Gay Agenda.”

Designed to be boring, the show sets up a living space for gay or lesbian couples to inhabit for a few days, where they make coffee, talk and watch TV — but don’t kiss or even touch. The conceit behind the show is to demonstrate how mundane gay couples are, in contrast to lurid fears and stereotypes. The show is currently touring small towns around the country, and local organizers plan to announce a Jacksonville visit in late April. Stay tuned!

Buy Definition Last week’s cash mob at Simple Gestures in St. Augustine (Buzz, March 20) was by all accounts a registerringing success. The trend is now moving to Jacksonville.

The city’s first cash mob — where participants surprise a locally owned retailer and buy as much as they can — is scheduled for Saturday, April 7. The store won’t be announced until the mob assembles, but the meetup will be at Burrito Gallery at 1 p.m. Participants are asked to be prepared to spend a minimum of $10. The group will meet back at Burrito Gallery at 2:30 p.m. for drinks and socializing.

Check out a cute video of a cash mob in action in Waterbury, Vt., at http://bit.ly/GXK7Uvk. Follow the local group on twitter @jaxcashmob or at Facebook. com/jaxcashmob.

Get In There “The more people spend time on the river — fishing, doing kayak races, open water swimming — the less inclined people will be to dump crap in it.”

— Riverside software developer and distance swimmer Jim Alabasio, explaining why he is again planning a lengthy St. Johns River swim. Alabasio, who last year swam 3.5 miles across the river (see “Jim’s Big Swim,” http://bit.ly/HecTjm) announced he will do a 12-mile swim up the St. Johns River on June 9 to encourage more people to get in the river. He plans to depart from Walter Jones Park in Mandarin and swim to the Riverside Arts Market under the Fuller Warren Bridge. He’s also organizing a 4-mile open water race across the St. Johns in October and a 12-mile marathon for 2013. “I’ve swam the river many times,” he says to skeptics who think the river is too polluted for such events. “My skin is still on me and I don’t have any twitches.” For info on Jim’s swims, go to http://jumpingfish.net

I

t took an employee on the inside going whistleblower. An audit by the city of Jacksonville’s Office of Inspector General. A review of that audit by Council Auditor Kirk Sherman. And a series of recommendations from the city’s Taxation, Revenue and Utilization of Expenditures (TRUE) Commission. But after 20 years and all of the foregoing, the city has finally decided to bid out the contract to manage its seven sports and entertainment complexes.

Facilities management company SMG has operated the city’s sports and entertainment centers since it first won the contract in 1992 — a contract the city has renewed or extended four times, but never re-bid. A Request for Proposals posted on the city’s website on March 16 opens the management contract to competitors. But the way the RFP is written, SMG would appear to have an inside track to win it. Bidders have just a month to respond — to calculate the cost of operating seven facilities, to determine staffing needs, to select subcontractors and to package their offer — information SMG can gather almost instantly.

A successful bidder must also be prepared to move quickly; the city hopes to have a company in place by July for the opening of the NFL season.

But the most helpful clause for SMG is a stipulation that qualified bidders have managed a “professional football stadium” in the past three years. Although EverBank Field is just one of the city’s entertainment facilities, along with the Equestrian Center, the T-U Performing Arts Center and the Baseball Grounds — the phrase knocks one of the big names in the entertainment industry — AEG — out of the competition, and limits the pool of qualified bidders to just two.

T

Walter Coker

here are basically three major players on the international market who manage arenas, stadiums, convention centers and other venues: AEG, Global Spectrum and SMG. AEG, which built and owns the Staples Center in Los Angeles, has a stake in the Los Angeles Lakers and promotes concert tours as diverse as Justin Bieber and Leonard Cohen. But the company, owned by San Francisco Examiner owner Philip Anschutz, whom Forbes ranked as the 34th richest person in the world in 2010, doesn’t manage an NFL facility.

“On the surface, it does seem to preclude us,” says Charles Steedman, senior vice president and general manager of AEG Management. “Right now, we are not managing an NFL stadium.”

The other two major players do. Global Spectrum operates the University of Phoenix Stadium, where the Arizona Cardinals play.

SMG, in addition to EverBank, operates the Superdome, home to the New Orleans Saints.

Walter Coker

Uncompromising Position

A request for bids to manage the city’s entertainment facilities seems crafted to favor the contractor who already runs them In exchange for helping open doors for SMG, the Jacksonville Jaguars have received a 15 percent take of all of SMG’s local contract revenues.

Steedman hopes to convince the city to remove the football requirement. The Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum Board in California removed similar “football” language from an RFP to manage the O.co Coliseum where the Oakland Raiders play, replacing it with language requiring experience managing professional sports facilities. But after a pre-proposal meeting here last week at the Ed Ball Building, representatives for both Global Spectrum and SMG argued in favor of the football clause. “It’s a pretty big part of the puzzle, wouldn’t you say?” observed SMG representative Michael Munz. Asked if NFL experience is necessary to do the job, Todd Glickman, vice president of development for Global Spectrum, said, “Absolutely.”

Former SMG General Manager turned whistleblower Bob Downey counters that it isn’t in the city’s interest to exclude a company like AEG, but his complaints with the city’s RFP go well beyond that. Downey had asked to help the city craft the RFP (the city didn’t take him up on the offer), and he believes the city could — and should — get more from the next facilities contractor. He notes that the RFP doesn’t gauge a company’s willingness to invest in creating an arts and entertainment district, sort of like AEG’s funding and construction of L.A. LIVE,

Financial Officer Ronnie Belton then observed, “We have an NFL team. We would be remiss if we didn’t have that in the contract.”

Chastain also noted that the Jacksonville Jaguars, by contract, have “joint selection” authority over the management contractor, and therefore have a say in picking the company to run the city’s facilities.

And that raises another thorny issue. SMG and the Jaguars have a longstanding, mutually beneficial business relationship, and both are represented by the same powerful lawyer and city lobbyist: Paul Harden.

T

he cross-pollination of the Jaguars and SMG brings to the fore a conflict of interest that has been relegated to the dustbin of the city of Jacksonville’s history — and indeed, has never been reported.

The team’s relationship with SMG predates the NFL franchise, back when the city was vying for a team and SMG was looking to gain entree into doing business in Jacksonville.

According to an agreement obtained by Folio Weekly, dated July 3, 1991, SMG (then operating as Spectacor Management Group) gave $300,000 to Touchdown Jacksonville Inc., the ownership group that lobbied to get a team

According to a 1991 agreement obtained by Folio Weekly, SMG gave Touchdown Jacksonville $300,000 to help the group woo the NFL. In turn, Touchdown Jacksonville promised to open doors for SMG and help it get city contracts. The deal worked. as part of the downtown Sports Complex. Nor does the RFP ask for proof that a company has had success booking big acts. Indeed, some parts of the contract don’t even seem to have any bearing on managing a venue. Downey notes that portions of the RFP appear to have been cut and pasted from construction contracts.

Asked after the meeting why the RFP includes the football stipulation, Chief Deputy General Counsel Karen Chastain said that the city’s 2010 contract with the University of Florida and the University of Georgia required “that language.” But the contract only specifies that the company that runs the Georgia-Florida game “engage a nationally recognized sports facility management company”; it makes no mention of football. Jacksonville Chief

and later morphed into the Jacksonville Jaguars ownership group. The money was supposed to help Touchdown Jacksonville woo the NFL. Touchdown Jacksonville, in turn, agreed to open doors for SMG, lobbying to help SMG get city contracts and helping the company build its local reputation. “In compensation for its services,” the contract stipulated, Touchdown Jacksonville was “entitled to 15 percent of annual revenues received by SMG.” The deal worked. SMG got its first contract with the city the following year.

For the next two years, SMG put the 15 percent annual payment toward recouping its original $300,000 outlay. But after that, SMG paid Touchdown Jacksonville a 15 percent compensation fee — roughly $130,000 year.

APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 7

Advertising proof this is a copyright protected proof ©

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Walter Coker

Those payments continued until at least 2005, according to a memo from Harden to the local manager of SMG, dated Sept. 22, 2005. “I just received a call from [Jaguars partner] Tom Petway regarding payments due to Touchdown this is a copyright protected proof © ” Paul Harden wrote in the brief, Jacksonville, three-sentence note obtained by Folio Weekly.

“Would you please let me know the status?” , please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 040312 It’s not clear from the letter whether Harden was representing his Touchdown Jacksonville OOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 clients or his SMG clients.

Asked Produced by ed Checked by Sales Repabout re the arrangement after last benefit sUpport Ask for Action week’s meeting, SMG spokesman Munz began to explain that the 15 percent annual payment was to resolve a lawsuit and had ceased years ago. When told the money was in fact compensation for helping SMG, Munz © 2012 promised to find out if the money was still being paid, but he hadn’t provided answers by deadline. City Finance Director Belton said he’d never heard anything about the payment. “I’d find that most interesting,” he said.

It’s not clear if the Jags under Shahid Khan continue to receive a cut of SMG’s revenues, but clearly, while the payments continued, the Jaguars had a vested interest in keeping SMG in its management role. And Harden, who continues to represent the team even since its

Advertising proof

FolioWeekly

8 | folio weekly | APRil 3-9, 2012

or Bob Downey, whose whistleblower complaint about his former employer included claims that SMG was overcharging the city for insurance costs, and had hired a subsidiary as a concessionaire (see Folio Weekly’s Cover Story, http://bit.ly/et5nNh, and Editor’s Note, Jan. 4, 2011, http://bit. ly/eForvB), the re-bid of the contract ought to be a chance to clean house. But Downey says he doesn’t see anything in the RFP that would correct the problems he helped expose.

Downey’s complaints helped form the basis for a June 2010 report from former Inspector General Pam Markham, titled “Game Plan for Improved SMG Contract Administration and Monitoring” (see http://bit.ly/GXY8lf), but not all of Markham’s recommendations made it into the RFP. That’s of concern to Tony Bates, former president of the Concerned Taxpayers of Duval County, who believes the RFP is being rushed through. He says city administrators assured him there would be plenty of time to craft the RFP, since SMG’s current contract doesn’t expire until 2013.

“I wanted the City Council Auditor to do a separate audit of the current contract [before drafting the RFP],” says Bates. “I was absolutely surprised [by its release].”

City Council Auditor Kirk Sherman says he’d be disappointed if the Inspector General’s recommendations weren’t included.

“We hoped that they were taking our recommendations under advisement and putting them into place,” he says, “but there is not much we can really do at this point.”

Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

Owning Our History

NewsBuzz

“Some people thought we should send the card to Atlanta, but it’s our history. Good, bad or indifferent, it’s a story that happened here.”

— St. Johns County Sheriff David Shoar, speaking at a dedication of a St. Augustine exhibit about the arrest of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on June 11, 1964, after he attempted to eat at the Monson Restaurant. Shoar contributed the fingerprint card from King’s arrest to the exhibit, which includes video interviews with the arresting officer and another Civil Rights demonstrator. The exhibit will be shown at Excelsior Cultural Center, 102 Martin Luther King Ave., in St. Augustine. excelsiorculturalcenter.com

Martin Luther King faces off with the owner of the Monson Inn, Jimmy Brock, shortly before his arrest.

Patriotic Plan of Attack “I’m going to dress up as First Amendment Man and sing the National Anthem.”

— St. Augustine street musician Michael Jordan, on exactly how he plans to violate an ordinance that St. Augustine City Commissioners passed unanimously last week. Lawmakers banned musicians, singers and other performers (described in the law as “mobile vendors”) from the downtown tourist district by banning them from side streets that cross St. George Street. (They previously banned them from that pedestrian thoroughfare, as well as the Plaza de la Constitución).

Festival of Chariots, St. George Street, St. Augustine, March 24

Brickbats to WJXT Channel 4 for turning its news function into a floating advertisement for Disney. The station sent Morning Show reporter Vic Micolucci and other staffers on a (presumably free?) trip of the inaugural voyage of Disney’s newest cruise liner. The four-day live remote was a nonstop promotion for the Mouse King, including interviews with Disney execs, full of fawning softballs: “Everybody says that just, Disney just does things a little bit better,” Micolucci “asked” Disney marketing VP Jim Alessandro at one point. “Tell me about that.

What is it about the Disney experience that makes this cruise so, well, magical?”

Bouquets to former city of Jacksonville aquatic biologist Dana Morton for his 23 years of public service protecting our waters. Morton was the city’s first aquatic biologist, and he spent his career monitoring the water quality in the St. Johns River and its tributaries. Morton also helped develop the city’s manatee protection law, analyzed fish tissues for toxins and helped launch a study into the fecal coliform counts in Jacksonville streams that won a Special Recognition Award from Coastal America in 2009. Morton left the city to work in Escambia County. He will be recognized by the Jacksonville City Council at its April 10 meeting.

Brickbats to Jacksonville Beach police officer A.T. Scarborough for allowing his ego to overtake his objectivity. Scarborough arrested Times-Union Jaguars beat reporter Tania Ganguli for allegedly misusing the 911 system. Ganguli called 911 to ask for additional assistance after Scarborough told her he didn’t believe her account of having been pushed to the ground by an employee of the Brix Taphouse. After he reviewed the 911 call, Jax Beach Police Chief Bruce Thomason said Scarborough was wrong to arrest Ganguli, and that the 911 call didn’t match Scarborough’s description of Ganguli as “very rude, loud, nervy and obscene.”

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Court of Last Resort

An influx of combat vets with legal issues prompts the creation of a special court for broken soldiers

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10 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 3-9, 2012

ith wars winding down in Afghanistan and Iraq, a growing number of veterans are returning to the streets, schools and shopping centers of Northeast Florida. Some are suffering the mental and physical wounds of war — men and women disoriented by multiple tours of duty, traumatic brain injuries, or the war-zone cycle of morning amphetamines and evening Ambiens (http://ti.me/GWBjNRand). Many live on the outskirts of society, homeless, jobless, clinically depressed. Others bring their post-traumatic stress disorder into the daily mix of suburban life, yielding domestic disputes, road-rage incidents or worse (http://1.usa.gov/GUELZ9).

So Jacksonville, long a haven for returning vets and retired service members, is joining a national effort to find unique solutions for veterans who are in the criminal justice system.

The new Veterans Treatment Court, in its infancy in a fifth-floor courtroom at the Duval County Courthouse, is one of 80 special courts in the country designed to help veterans get treatment for their substance-abuse problems and return to productive lives. The existence of the court is due in large part to the efforts of Public Defender Matt Shirk, who pushed for it as a means of both processing cases of former and current service members and tailoring sentences to their individual needs.

“American servicemen and women are coming home from overseas conflicts in large numbers, and military communities like Jacksonville will undoubtedly see an influx of combat veterans,” he told The Financial News & Daily Record in early March. “As we have seen in the past and in other jurisdictions, this can lead them into legal troubles.”

That need will likely grow as the military attempts to reduce the number of men and women in uniform, and more combat-exposed vets cycle back into daily life.

The court, an offshoot of the Drug Court created in 1994, is available only to nonviolent veterans with an honorable or general discharge who have committed felonies fueled by drugs or alcohol. If defendants successfully complete treatment, they can have their charges reduced or expunged entirely. The process can take more than a year, but for those able to salvage their reputations and receive treatment, Vet Court can be an invaluable alterative.

Shirk was impelled to create the Veterans Treatment Court after he learned about similar courts in Buffalo, N.Y. and Palm Beach County, Fla., which saw surprisingly low recidivism rates among soldiers who received treatment. Statistics from the Veterans Administration show the statewide need is great. Florida had about 1.65 million veterans in 2010, the second-highest per capita veteran population in the nation, with more than 156,390 veterans returning from deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. The largest number resides in Palm Beach County (115,494 veterans). Duval County has the fifth-largest number of veterans (90,505), and there are many others in neighboring counties (Clay: 27,728; Nassau: 8,719; St. Johns: 18,031).

Since last June, more than 600 former service members have been locked up in the Duval County Jail. Many were arrested on minor

misdemeanor offenses, while others face more serious charges, especially drug-related cases.

A recent RAND Corporation study, “Invisible Wounds,” found that one in five service members returning from Iraq or Afghanistan suffers from PTSD or major depression. A third of the nation’s homeless are veterans and studies have concluded that homeless veterans are at a higher risk than the general population for mental illness, substance abuse and suicide.

Last fall, Shirk hired retired Navy veteran Lt. Cmdr. John Holzbaur, fresh from a tour of Afghanistan, to direct his office’s Veteran Affairs function and run the veterans’ court program.

The court started operations on March 2, and Holzbaur says it may take weeks to work out the kinks in the new system. His office is taking a purposeful approach “to make sure we get it right the first time.”

“This is important,” he says. “We are dealing with people’s lives.”

Magistrate John Sampson, himself a former Marine, hears cases in a tiny courtroom where he also proceeds over Drug Court. Sampson can be alternately demanding and understanding.

The names of defendants being treated are protected under federal privacy laws, but a recent hearing shows Sampson isn’t inclined to give them a break.

“Don’t try to run any scams on us,” he warns one former military man accused of concealing information to obtain prescription drugs. A few seconds later, he intones, “Keep it up! A lot of this is going to be new to you.”

Sampson can order veterans to obtain drug and alcohol treatment. He can also refer them to Veteran’s Administration services that many don’t know exist — programs including health and mental health treatment, housing assistance, education and job training. Holzbaur believes that the services provided by the VA and other local agencies will actually save the county money. “Our goal is to reconnect veterans to these services they are deemed eligible for,” he says.

A bill passed by the state Legislature this spring will likely increase the number of military courts across Florida. The bill authorizes the chief judge in each of Florida’s 20 judicial circuits to establish a Military Veterans and Service Members Court Program.

The bill is named for retired Army Reserve Brigadier General and Okaloosa County Judge T. Patt Maney, who established a veterans court after suffering traumatic brain injury from an improvised explosive device while serving in Afghanistan in 2005. Maney spent 20 months in Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Bethesda, Md., recovering from extensive injuries that left him unable to perform basic skills, like operating a gas pump at a service station, recognizing his wife across a crowded room or remembering the plot of a TV program.

The experience “left me sensitive and sympathetic to the plight of some 200,000 wounded warriors with traumatic brain injury,” Maney noted in the April 1, 2011 issue of The Florida Bar News, “and their families and their communities in general.”

Speaking before a committee of the Florida Legislature last year, he explained, “It is my belief that combat veterans, whose bad behavior is the result of military experiences, should be afforded the opportunity to get treatment for their conditions and the benefit of a system that acknowledges their military combat service contributed to their behavior.”

He added, “I do not argue for a get-out-of-jailfree card for veterans.”

Holzbaur appreciates the Legislature’s recognition of the need for Vet Court services and hopes it eventually comes up with a dedicated funding stream for programs to help veterans. In the meantime, those familiar with the needs of returning service members make clear that the traditional criminal justice route doesn’t help anyone.

“It is very difficult for these guys after they’ve been deployed three or four times,” says Scott Driscoll, a veteran who served as the first coordinator of the Courts Assisting Veterans Program in Sarasota County. “Throwing them in jail is not the answer. You put them in a cage and they go nuts.”

Jacksonville defense attorney and veteran Bill Sheppard, who trains attorneys on how to handle cases involving veterans, says the whole community is improved by the work of the court.

“Veterans, especially combat veterans, are going to be flowing into the community in great numbers,” he says. “They are going to get into trouble because of what they’ve been through and we need to address the solution to this problem creatively, not through prison cells.”

Ron Word themail@folioweekly.com

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AG Gancarski

Edward Walden and his son at last week’s protest. “I have a son who wears hoodies, and he’s just like Trayvon,” Walden said. “I’ve never seen a situation where the law is so deferential to the attacker.”

Sanford’s Son

Duval honors Trayvon Martin with a march and a call for justice

T

he Jacksonville Landing has been the scene for many political rallies — mostly Republican leaning — in recent years. Perhaps that’s why the local Justice4Trayvon group believed that they could hold their rally there.

It didn’t turn out that way.

On the Friday before the rally, as social media sites began publicizing the rally at The Landing, staff there attempted to counter that message with one of their own. “The Justice For Trayvon Martin Rally is NOT at The Jacksonville Landing” the staff insisted in a 4:30 p.m. email on March 23. “It was mistakenly listed as being held at The Landing, but will instead be held at the Courthouse Parking Lot.” Jacksonville Landing General Manager Janice Lowe rejected the implication that The Landing denied Trayvon Martin’s supporters a public forum. “They never checked with us, never cleared it with us,” she said, noting The Landing is in fact private property. “I found out about [their intent] on a Google alert.”

The confusion persisted the next day. Both The Florida Times-Union and Justice4Trayvon organizer Aaron Brown (speaking on WJXT’s morning show) said that the march would begin at The Landing and move toward the courthouse.

As the 1 p.m. start time approached, the wind picked up and storm clouds gathered overhead. A compromise had been struck: The group could congregate in front of The Landing and then walk on the Riverwalk to the back entrance of the courthouse. And while the “thousands and thousands” Aaron Brown predicted didn’t materialize, close to 1,000 people did show up. Brown, an attorney, Jacksonville native and Arlington Country Day School alumnus, had lived in Orlando for the last eight years before moving back. He says, “Sanford was my backyard, and here in Jacksonville, it’s our backyard.”

Like many at the protest, King and Kanice Hoffman were attending their first-ever protest.

Bearing blue placards that read “Demand Justice,” Kanice said that the Trayvon Martin killing, though rooted in issues of race, transcends the color line.

“This is not a color issue, but a human rights issue,” said Hoffman. “If we can’t be protected

by law enforcement, who will protect us?”

Edward Walden, a middle-aged employee of Jacksonville International Airport, showed up wearing a dress shirt and a tie. He came with his son and bore a sign that asked, “I have 4 sons and 8 grandsons. Please tell me how does the Stand Your Ground law protect them?” Like many in attendance, Walden identified strongly with the circumstances of the Martin murder.

“I have a son who wears hoodies, and he’s just like Trayvon,” he said. “I’ve never seen a situation where the law is so deferential to the attacker.”

Wearing a firing range target on his chest, FSCJ business student Bill Plumer agreed. He hoisted a placard that read “Stand Down — Repeal ‘Stand Your Ground.’”

“This can happen to any of us,” said Plumer, who showed up with his wife Jenny, whose own poster read “Pursuit = Murder.” “Fear is not a justification to pursue and shoot someone in cold blood over his skin color.”

Beverly McClain, of Families of Slain Children, was on hand and buoyed by the crowd. “This is a great, magnificent turnout.

People here are doing the right thing, standing up for what’s right,” she told Folio Weekly just before the march to the courthouse.

Walking down the blustery Riverwalk, the crowd passed Shahid Khan’s Kismet yacht, chanting, “I am Trayvon Martin” and “What do we want? Justice! When? Right now!”

Some in the crowd broke the chant to admire the boat.

A parking lot separated the speakers at the courthouse from the building itself, and the megaphone being used lacked the juice to reach the perimeter of the crowd, even as big names like mayoral legislative liaison Tony Hill and state Rep. Mia Jones (D-Jacksonville) made their presence felt. The drizzle started to come down, and the crowd began to disperse; slowly at first, then with alacrity as the drops grew insistent. Even as the people in attendance were getting drenched, however, a spirited chant of “We Are Trayvon Martin” could be heard a block away.

© 2012

AG Gancarski Twitter @AGGancarski themail@folioweekly.com APRIL 3-9, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 11

My Sort of Shame A

s you can probably guess, I don’t feel ashamed about much. I’m not even ashamed of: 1) That thing I did one time involving a goat. 2) The time I sort of stuck my something into someone’s something else. 3) When I impersonated someone, stole their something and did something really bad with their toothbrush. 4) Put something in my mouth I was explicitly told not to put in there. (OK, fine, it was Funyuns).

Again, I have no shame about these things — but most of them involve some sort of advanced illegality or could possibly get me killed … hence the lack of detail. HOWEVER. There is one thing I’ve never publicly admitted — because every time I’ve shared this information with friends or family members, they were simply AGHAST and begged me to never share it with another living soul.

As the insecure douchebag Schmidt, Greenfield kicks all sorts of ass, making impossible-to-like © 2012 an FolioWeekly loser absolutely adorable, hilarious and (unlike Zooey) likable.

12 | folio weekly | APRil 3-9, 2012

Unfortunately, I can no longer hide the truth. What follows is Wm.™ Steven Humphrey’s greatest shame.

(Dramatic pause.) I enjoy the Fox comedy “New Girl.”

Don’t judge meeeeeee!! And before you slam this paper shut, burn it with gasoline and undergo hypnosis to forever wipe the memory of me and my admission from your mind, rest assured I have three very good reasons for loving “New Girl.”

REASON No. 1: Not Zooey Deschanel. Let’s be honest; “New Girl” star Deschanel is the main reason everyone treats this show like a leper with scabs the size of hamburgers. Zooey is cute, apparently nice and a good actor.

And yet? She’s so … so … “precious.” And … and … “indie/hipster/emo.” And … and … “wacky.” AND SHE’S NAMED “ZOOEY,” FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST. So I agree with you: What’s there to like? As it turns out, everything else. Like …

REASON No. 2: The rest of the cast!

While the first few episodes focused heavily on Zooey’s character Jess, these days, they’re spotlighting the rest of the ensemble — who are, by the way, the best on TV (and yes, that includes you, “Community”). Jess’ three roomies (played by Jake Johnson, Lamorne Morris and Max Greenfield) work together like a highly advanced, well-oiled Giggletron — a technical term for a “laff machine” — and their mutual chemistry is undefeatable.

HOWEVER! One actor does stand out from the crowd, and that’s …

REASON No. 3: Greenfield as Schmidt.

Hands down, this guy is currently my favorite actor on TV. As the insecure douchebag Schmidt, Greenfield kicks all sorts of ass,

making an impossible-to-like loser absolutely adorable, hilarious and (unlike Zooey) likable.

Plus! He played the dreamy Deputy Leo D’Amato in “Veronica Mars,” which alone deserves a SQUEEEEEE!!! Even if you despise Zooey, check Schmidt out, and give “New Girl” (FOX, 9 p.m. every Tue.) just one more try!

And you who already love “New Girl”? It’s time to come out of the closet! The only way we can bury this shame is to bring it into the light, so join hands with me, won’t you? Now repeat after me: Goddamn it, I love me some “New Girl” (especially Schmidt) and I don’t care who knows it!!

(Confidential to that goat: Once again, I am so sorry.)

TUESDAY, APRIL 3 8:00 NGC DOOMSDAY PREPPERS Season finale! Let me guess … everybody dies?

11:00 MTV SAVAGE U Debut! Sex advice mogul Dan Savage takes his words of wisdom to college kids in this new show that looks too good for MTV!

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4 8:00 CW ONE TREE HILL Series finale! Say farewell to the show you thought was canceled four years ago.

8:30 NBC BEST FRIENDS FOREVER Debut! A divorcée moves back in with her old roomie, who now has a dubious boyfriend!

Interpersonal hijinx ensue.

THURSDAY, APRIL 5 8:00 NBC COMMUNITY The war between Abed and Troy reaches the point where lazy Jeff is forced to intervene!

10:00 ABC SCANDAL Debut! A comedy/drama about a crisis management firm that works to save the reputations of scuzzbags. Nice.

FRIDAY, APRIL 6 9:00 NBC GRIMM Nick’s romantic getaway with Juliette is ruined by neighbors who are absolute monsters. Seriously, real monsters!

SATURDAY, APRIL 7 7:00 ABC THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (Movie) (1956) The film version based on the bestselling fiction of God. 11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Hosted by sexy Sofia “Modern Family” Viagra … did I say “Viagra”? I meant “Vergara.”

SUNDAY, APRIL 8 9:00 AMC THE KILLING Stan’s involvement with the mob becomes “troublesome” because … when is it not?

10:00 AMC MAD MEN Don encounters someone from his past — which means either “danger time” or “sexy time.”

MONDAY, APRIL 9 10:00 TLC MAMA’S BOYS OF THE BRONX Debut! A new reality series about grown Italian men who still live with their mothers. (What? No midgets or 19 kids??)

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey steve@portlandmercury.com

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A New York Minute

Tebow trades small-town perks for major-market benefits in his embrace of the Jets

T

he last time I addressed Tim Tebow, I argued that he was focused on a lot of non-football items over the course of this pivotal off-season.

Hanging with Fred Durst, cultivating a bevy of Hollywood love interests and securing representation for his extracurricular media work all seemed to be potential distractions, at least to me.

Many of you disagreed. Notes from angry waiters, late-night text messages, letters to the editor — all informing me that I was full of it.

Then, things happened. John Elway’s Broncos repudiated the Tebow era as error by giving Peyton Manning a contract that, on paper at least, was better than his Colts deal. Then, of

The fact is, local fans like the idea of Tim Tebow more than they would like the reality. Would Jaguar fans turn on him if he had a bad game or two?

You bet your ass. course, the trade, which led at least one local TV station to send a reporter to New York City to cover Tebow’s acquisition by the Jets.

The offers that the Jags and Jets made were nearly identical; in fact, given that reports said the Jags agreed to pay “most if not all” of the $5 million advanced to Tebow from salaries over the next few years, it could be argued that the Jags offered the Broncos more (and, according to Shahid Khan, they were prepared to offer still more). So why would the local hero develop a New York State of Mind?

Perhaps it was the idea that the Jags were going to protect their depth chart and the fragile ego of Blaine Gabbert by limiting Tebow to a third quarterback/special teams role. Maybe it was that Tebow, despite being friends with Mark “Dirty” Sanchez — the other young, inconsistent, all-he-does-is-win passer on the roster — felt that he could parlay what the coaches characterized as “15 to 20 plays a game” into a starting role. Perhaps, as was claimed, Tebow liked Rex Ryan a whole bunch on HBO’s “Hard Knocks” series and he really wanted a “player’s coach.” Maybe it was all those things. Or maybe it was something else.

The fact is, local fans like the idea of Tim Tebow — the one derived from 6 p.m. news soundbites and highlight reels — more than they would like the reality. As bad as Gabbert was last year, Tebow was worse, and he had better talent around him. Tebow went entire quarters without completing a forward pass.

Even after the games his Broncos won, he was dissed on Twitter and in the media by opposing players. And when he was traded, his former teammates talked about what a nice guy he was far more than vouching for him as an NFL quarterback.

Would Jaguar fans turn on him if he had a bad game or two? You bet your ass. These are the same folks who clamored for Mark Brunell to replace Steve Beuerlein and then Jamie Martin to replace Mark Brunell. They wanted Leftwich until they didn’t, and the same with Garrard. And most of them are ready to kick Gabbert to the curb after one developmental year in which the offensive line leaked like a sieve, and in which his wide receivers were as bad as any group in franchise history.

Here’s another thing no one’s considering.

Maybe Tebow doesn’t want to be big time in a small town. Maybe he doesn’t want to spend the next 10 years talking to his supplicants in the local media. Maybe he wants better endorsement deals than a credit union could offer. Maybe he doesn’t want to be the hope of a franchise, but just an essential — or even a complementary — part. Maybe he wants the platform that only New York could offer him.

National talk shows — just a limo ride away!

The reason we love Tebow so much, and don’t really get worked up one way or another over local products like Rod Gardner, Lav Coles and Brian Dawkins — we have embraced the Tebow brand. Even with its internal contradictions.

For instance, Tebow at his NYC presser on the decision: “I told them I would love to be a Jet. And I told them that I would also love to be a Jaguar.” This statement, of course, is at odds with much of what has been reported on the topic, including words from Elway and Shahid Khan. But the Tebow brand requires him to be all things to all people, so even if he had a preference, it’s not in his interest to divulge it.

What’s next? We’ll likely see a lot of Jets jerseys around town. The Jags will continue building around Gabbert. And Tebow? As I said the other week, he needs to step up his game to become more than a gimmick.

© 2012

© 2012

AG Gancarski Twitter @AGGancarski themail@folioweekly.com APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 13

K

14 | folio weekly | APRil 3-9, 2012

ey West: In Hispanic South Florida, the last Republican candidates for president were regaling audiences of Castrophobic exiles with their promises — if elected — to all but rain nuclear warheads on Havana. Their preposterous rhetoric, cynical to the point of condescension, provoked an unexpected critic whose harsh verdict should be their epitaph.

“Selection of a Republican candidate for the presidency of this globalized and expansive empire is — and I mean this seriously — the greatest competition of idiocy and ignorance that has ever been,” declared an appalled Fidel Castro.

Even allowing for translation from the Spanish, it’s clear that the senescence of the ailing ex-president has been greatly exaggerated. Castro’s assessment of the frantic scramble for America’s least intelligent, least compassionate voters reminds us that he is, for all his sins, a well-educated attorney of aristocratic origins who might use a Rick Perry or Michelle Bachman for a hat stand. He and his brother Raul, the current president of Cuba, are serious men, and the fulsome slapstick that has dominated the Republican primaries naturally disgusts and bewilders them. If this is freedom, they’re thinking, God save autocracy and bless my iron hand. Washington’s tireless campaign to promote democracy in Cuba loses precious ground every time Mitt or Newt smirks into a camera. The serious world is again aghast, perhaps more now than ever. More civilized countries — there aren’t enough, but there

are many — expect to be disappointed, or worse, by every American presidency. But they’re still impressed by the unlikely election of a nonwhite president with a Muslim middle name, and they respect the intelligent, articulate face of official America presented

by Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

This, this Republican thing, is the Other America. And, unfortunately, it’s not a small or negligible part of what we are. I write this looking at a photo in The Miami Herald: A typical Tea Party primate at a Newt Gingrich rally, an old white man in an Uncle Sam hat shaped like a chef ’s toque, with a gag-store cotton beard suspended from his ears. If the Voice of America could engineer a worldwide media blackout, so that no one beyond our shores could see or hear these things, our image and our diplomatic initiatives would benefit immeasurably.

We don’t have to pay attention, Herald columnist Dave Barry reminded us — he recommends covering TV screens with sheets of plywood, in hurricane mode, and drowning every radio in the bathtub. But there’s an undeniable fascination when the show gets this bad, the kind of centripetal horror that draws crowds to fatal accidents, that used to pack the square for hangings. Florida, where I was eyewitness to the primary, is a very strange place. One day, the paper carried an item about a murderer who ate one of his victim’s eyes and part of his brain. The biggest non-political story confirmed that monstrous Burmese pythons, some 15 to 20 feet long, have now devoured nearly every mammal in

The Everglades. And hey, that’s just the Food section, Dave Barry would probably say.

I found it fairly rich when the Mitt Romney campaign, victorious by a wide margin over the Gingrich insurgents, claimed that winning Florida should wrap up the nomination because the state represents such a cross-section of the American electorate. “Florida is the nation’s reflecting pool,” exulted one Republican consultant. Reflecting pool maybe, cesspool more accurately, shark tank definitely. You don’t want to know what’s swimming — or lurking, like a 16-foot coon-eating python — just beneath the surface. When it comes to stories, I can’t compete with Dave Barry or Carl Hiassen, the native wits who built their careers on ironic anthropological observation of the weirdest state in the Union. But I’m not exactly a Florida virgin either, with four or five decades of snowbird experience behind me. And I saw things in the 24 hours around the primary that no one in South Dakota has seen since the Indian wars.

It’s true, though, that Florida’s diversity creates a World Series of transparent, infantile pandering for visiting politicians. Promise to hang Castro for the Cubans, incinerate Iran for the Jews, subsidize orange juice for Big Citrus, build colonies on the moon for the Canaveral engineers (Newt outdid himself there), dispense free Viagra and Metamucil for the aging. If the alligators could vote, these strangers to shame would promise to outlaw belts.

Even without Herman Cain and that baleful basilisk Mrs. Bachmann, the Republicans refused to be upstaged by the cavalcade of nightmares that’s standard fare in the Sunshine

State. They showed us they belonged here.

The history of attack ads is so gruesome that no decent, self-respecting citizen could even review it without apoplexy and hypertension.

But the Gingrich campaign, flailing desperately as Florida slipped away, plumbed historic depths on election day with a flood of robocalls suggesting that Mitt Romney was the enemy of “religious freedom” and “Holocaust

Jewish Channel, dismissing the Palestinians as “an invented people,” and rejecting the twostate compromise that has long been the stated Israel policy of Democrats, Republicans and Likudists. In other words, Newt was veering even to the right of Netanyahu, out where no one but Israel’s Orthodox extremists and rich Jewish-American meddlers like Adelson dare to tread. He also supports the symbolically

Florida is a very strange place. One day, the paper carried an item about a murderer who ate one of his victim’s eyes and part of his brain. The biggest non-political story confirmed that monstrous Burmese pythons, some 15 to 20 feet long, have now devoured nearly every mammal in The Everglades. And that’s just the Food section, Dave Barry would say. survivors” — because he vetoed money for kosher food in nursing homes when he was governor of Massachusetts. In some future archive of infamy, this will be filed under “Newt woos the Jews.” Of course, he denied any knowledge of the robo-calls, though it’s wellknown that Newt and his Stepford wife are the campaign’s principal strategists.

I’ve never met Fidel Castro. (I was at a reception in Havana enlivened by rumors that he was coming to meet the American poet laureate Billy Collins, but he didn’t show.) Yet I can imagine the two of us, Fidel and I, sitting in our fatigues, smoking cigars and sharing a series of profound groans and sighs over the Republican burlesque across the Straits of Florida. In one exchange of spectacular idiocy, whoring for both Cuban exiles and evangelicals, Gingrich and Romney speculated about whether Castro’s soul would go to heaven when he dies.

When you place the last of your dignity in a blind trust, you’re cleared to run for president in the 21st Century. But gross pandering to voters is one thing: You don’t really mean it and the voter doesn’t really believe it, unless he’s too dumb to ride a tricycle. Citizens United, the tragic 2010 Supreme Court decision that equated campaign contributions with free speech and unleashed the political action committees, has, as predicted, created a new and far more dangerous kind of political prostitute. When you pander to billionaires for cash, quid pro quo, you forge a chain of indebtedness you can never break. As usual, the unmentionable Gingrich is Exhibit A. Sheldon Adelson, the international casino magnate, dropped a quick $10 million into Newt’s empty wallet “out of friendship,” he said, and critics cried, “There you are, now any billionaire can run his own candidate for president.” As a precedent, it turned out to be much worse than that. A New York Times article promptly exposed Adelson as a director of AIPAC, the powerful Israel lobby. An intimate friend of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and a generous supporter of the Likud party and the hardline Israeli Right, Adelson even publishes his own reactionary newspaper in Israel.

Scroll back a couple of months to Dec. 9, and you can hear Newt Gingrich on the cable

incendiary proposal to move the American embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. You wondered who in hell would encourage a sordid piece of damaged goods like Gingrich to run for president of the United States? Now you know. And though it seems impossible that anyone outside his immediate family would actually want Newt to be president (and he’s not so close to his family), he polled more than 500,000 votes in the Florida primary. In South Carolina, the evil booger won. Republicans will just take your breath away.

I admit to a certain fascination with Gingrich. It’s irresistible to pin him up for inspection on the specimen board like a Luna moth, though with life support from the Israel lobby, I guess he might still be considered alive. Newt is a pathological liar, demagogue, hothead, bully, panderer and apparent megalomaniac, and a hypocrite of almost uncanny audacity. He led the impeachment of Bill Clinton for the Lewinsky affair while

engaged in a career of serial adultery himself; he chided Congressman Barney Frank and the Obama campaign for taking money from Freddie Mac while hiding the fact that the same mortgage lender had just paid him $1.8 million for his services as an uber-lobbyist.

He disparages Washington insiders, though his only job is a lucrative one peddling influence, at the highest levels, inside the Beltway. There’s no far-right rhetoric he considers too dumb or too dirty. His predictable, AIPAC-approved favorites are the need for military action against Iran and the grave threat of Shariah law in America — though less than one percent of the population is Muslim. No doubt Newt is smarter and more articulate than Rick Perry or Michelle Bachmann, but so is everyone on your block.

Scholars snicker at his self-vaunted intellect.

Comic John Stewart supplied the sharp pin that fixed Newt’s doughy thorax to the specimen board: “Newt Gingrich is a stupid this is a copyri person’s idea of a smart person.”

Politics was never a playground for paragons.

But I think it’s been a long time since anyone as For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. r morally undernourished, ethically compromised YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE andFAX reality-challenged as Gingrich has imagined AT 268-3655 himself as the paramount leader of a nation of Produced by e promise of benefit sUpport Ask for Action 300 million souls.

Few of his former colleagues trust him, or like him. He’s been reduced to carrying water for the Israel lobby. But the miracle of Newt Gingrich — like the late Richard Nixon, like the irrepressibly dreadful Donald Trump — is that he never gets down on himself. It isn’t a thick skin so much as a mild variety of Asperger’s syndrome, which can be very useful to a politician. Newt’s just way too self-involved to understand his effect on other people. An anecdote from the Iowa caucuses, reported by Ariel Levy in The New Yorker, captures Newt in his impregnable fortress of self-regard. A graybearded hunter in full camouflage meets the candidate at a campaign stop in Mt. Pleasant, Iowa, grasps his hand and says in a soft voice, “You know what? You’re a fucking asshole.”

Newt smirks, pats him on the shoulder and

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The miracle of Newt Gingrich is that he never gets down on himself.

It isn’t a thick skin so much as a mild variety of Asperger’s syndrome, which can be very useful to a politician.

APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 15

THE AddISON ON AmElIA ISlANd The Addison is a disinctive historic property in the heart of Fernandina. The original 1870s antebellum house features sunny en-suite rooms, the majority overlooking a private fountain courtyard. Many have spacious whirlpools and several feature individual private porches. This intimate retreat caters to your every need, whether it be a gourmet breakfast, an individually prepared picnic or afternoon refreshment, or the simple luxury of allowing you to sit back, relax, and watch the world go by slowly on your own porch.

Mitt Romney just wants the White House way too much. All day long, he lies and panders. At night, he tells his wife that those guys in the Uncle Sam hats cheering for war on the poor make him sick to his stomach.

614 Ash Street • (904) 277-1604 www.addisononamelia.com

THE FAIRBANKS HOUSE

Elegant 1885 Italianate villa. Luxury-class inn with upscale amenities. Large rooms, suites, private cottages, Jacuzzis, fireplaces. Gourmet breakfast, evening social hour. Romance Packages, Girls Getaway. Smoke-free!

227 South 7th Street • (904) 277-0500 www.fairbankshouse.com

THE ElIZABETH POINTE lOdGE AmElIA ISlANd The Pointe is situated on the beach overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. Focusing upon individualized attention with a staff that wants to exceed your expectations, The Pointe offers a complimentary full breakfast, Wi-Fi, beach equipment, a morning newspaper and parking.

Room service and concierge assistance are available 24 hours. And it’s only a short bike ride to the historic seaport of Fernandina. Custom packages available.

98 South Fletcher Avenue • (800) 772-3359 info@elizabethpointelodge.com

AmElIA ISlANd WIllIAmS HOUSE

Beautiful antebellum Inn with spacious guest rooms boasting the modern amenities guests love while safekeeping the old world charm. Romantic working fireplaces, antiques from around the world, private baths, whirlpool tubs, spa robes and fresh flowers are a few of the luxuries you may expect. Enjoy our beautifully landscaped gardens, fountains and our sweeping verandahs. Feast on a delicious gourmet breakfast each morning and sip wine ‘neath 500-year-old oak trees. All your worries will drift away.

103 S. 9th Street • (904) 277-2328 www.williamshouse.com

HOYT HOUSE

Hoyt House Bed & Breakfast Inn, built in 1905, is an intimate, elegant and luxurious boutique hotel that will exceed your expectations with five-star amenities, top-shelf breakfast and exceptional customer service. We offer: • 10 En-Suite Guest Chambers • Located in the Historic District • 3-Course Gourmet Breakfast • English Tea Wed.-Sun. 12:30-3p.m. • Heated Pool & Spa • Amelia Lounge & Bar • Complimentary Bicycles • Complimentary Cocktail Hour • Secure off-street Parking • Weddings & Meetings Welcome

804 Atlantic Avenue • (904) 277-4300 www.hoythouse.com

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville.

16 | folio weekly | APRil 3-9, 2012

replies, “It’s a free country, and you’re entitled to your opinion.”

Manners? Nice, for which Newt has not always been known. Sensors? Totally disconnected. The improbability of his ambition reminds us of the quixotic presidential campaigns of Harold Stassen, or the way Trump sniffs the wind every four years and dreams of spraying his hair in the Oval Office. Delusional, dysfunctional, sad.

Comedians joke that candidate Gingrich carries more baggage than the Orient Express or the QE2. A fair analogy would be a racehorse trying to win the Kentucky Derby with Shaquille O’Neal in the saddle. Could a State of the Union address ever be delivered by a man who actually said in public, just a few weeks ago, that it was his passionate love for his country that drove him to adultery? (The precise mechanism remains unexplained.)

Newt — a vain fool, merely, or a madman?

But what’s authentically scary is that the idea of a creature like Gingrich in the White House doesn’t scare a lot of Republican voters. He has fervent supporters on the Tea Party Right; he’s run second and briefly first in the national polls. In a presidential election, he could probably carry the recidivist South, where amnesiacs are mobilizing to take back the White House for white people.

The poor quality of the Republican candidates and the wild things they say to please their constituency have been source of mirth and optimism for Democrats, and a gold mine for satirists. What they seem to have in common, notes the poet Charles Simic, is “the hint of being unhinged.” If Central Casting spread its widest net for a campaign film by, say, Robert Altman, it could never come up with actors as bizarrely, cinematically comic as Bachmann, Cain, Trump, Rick Santorum, Rick Perry or even the straight-shooting old crackpot Ron Paul, whom I grudgingly respect.

Toss in the Newtron bomb and the robotically handsome Mitt Romney, a Mormon Tin Man afloat on a cloud of cash, and it’s a cast of characters to challenge the imagination of auteurs like Altman or Woody Allen.

Frauds, liars, lechers, dimwits, fanatics and buffoons. What do we call this movie, this exotic spectacle of democracy in decay? Is Perry, the vet-school washout from Aggieland, an authentic moron, or only plagued by cruel neural roadblocks that prevent the best of

his thinking from reaching his tongue? The hideously focused Mrs. Bachmann couldn’t really be that dumb, either. She’s an attorney, isn’t she? But then you learn that her law school, an experiment in legal education by the evangelist Oral Roberts, was only briefly accredited and no longer exists. The sudden surge of white Republican enthusiasm for Herman Cain was a mystery I couldn’t begin to fathom until my brother, who teaches political science, explained that Cain was “the Amos ‘n’ Andy candidate,” a black man who embodies an African-American stereotype dear to prejudiced white people — pimp hat, trash talk, fried chicken, full-time fancy lady and all. As he echoes their platitudes and confirms them in their ignorance, Herman gives great comfort to the Tea Party.

The recently ascendant Santorum, who like Gingrich left public office ignominiously quite some time ago, is another pure stereotype. A straight-arrow moralizer described by one critic as “more Catholic than the Pope,” he opposes both contraception and abortion — even for a pregnancy caused by a rapist — and has a reality-show lineup of well-fed Catholic children to show for it. In his disdain for scientists and homosexuals, he marches resolutely to the moral music of priests and bishops who have been dead for 100 years.

Stubborn denier of global warming (“junk science,” “a charade”), head cheerleader for the immediate bombing of Iran, Santorum is the epitome of the intellectually castrated believer.

If you’d vote for him knowing that he blames priestly pedophilia on “academic, political and cultural liberalism in America,” you richly deserve the Dark Age of unreason his presidency would launch.

Ron Paul is a horse of a different color — a very dark color, in terms of the odds against his nomination or election. But unlike most of his rivals, he’s no liar, no flip-flopping fraud or panderer to mob emotions. He’s a consistent, honorable ideologue with deeply held beliefs that happen to vary radically from the observable facts of the world. His is the libertarian curse, the sweet but utterly insupportable notion that most citizens will behave decently without the oversight of the “nanny state” and its policemen. Way too old to be out shaking hands and kissing babies, Paul is easily mocked by liberal journalists for his earnest demeanor and the sound of distressed ceramics inseparable from many of his favorite

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this is a copyright protected pro For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 040312 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 ideas. But he’s the only remaining Republican candidate with whom I’d share a cab, or bother to debate. Half of his platform, especially its pacifist foreign policy and coldness to the Israel lobby, is more sensible than Pres.

Obama’s. The other half, of course, would set civilization back 200 years. But it’s a shame that a sincere libertarian, in search of a party, should have to lie down with pigs like Newt Gingrich. I confess a weakness for Paul and his ilk. Like any pulverized idealist who sides with underdogs, I loathe most Republicans and distrust most Democrats. My ideal politician would be patched together from disparate pieces of Ron Paul and Bernie Sanders.

This inedible buffet of mendacity, eccentricity and extremism ought to guarantee the GOP a crushing defeat in November, but when you look at the electoral map and do the math, its failure is far from certain. The most striking, alarming thing about this year’s primaries is that the voters they targeted aren’t laughing. They’re cheering. They cheer for the death penalty, for torture, for child labor, for more wars. The only time they turn on a candidate is when he reveals something moderate or sensible, like Newt’s reluctance to deport illegal immigrants en masse. Jon Huntsman, who was rarely mentioned because he was the one candidate who never “surged,” seemed like the kind of sane, intelligent,

You may think the candidates are a of benefit promise repugnant lot — I hope you do — but the new Republican reality is that its base, the mob it woos and placates, is much worse than its would-be leaders. It’s dumber, meaner and more inflexible, and fatally poisoned with the heart-hardening, brain-softening drivel it absorbs from hate radio and Fox News. (Assuring idiots that they’re not is now the most lucrative slice of the media pie.)

Even Newt, as responsible as anyone for the partisan belligerence that made the modern GOP more like an army than a political party, has been known to step toward the middle when it suits him. But he wants the Tea Party to forget that, to erase that memory along with his nasty love life. As this circus progresses, it reinforces my commitment to a line I wrote in frustration in 2004: “Not all Republicans are bad people, but nearly all bad people are Republicans.”

The flip side of that insight is that Democratic voters are probably better, cleaner people on the whole, than their party’s professional politicians. It’s a tougher case to prove, but a useful one to pursue.

(I have never registered as a Democrat or voted in a Democratic primary.) The key is that the system, the model for representative democracy that served us well or ill for two centuries, is hopelessly broken. Money floods

“Florida is the nation’s reflecting pool,” exulted one Republican consultant. Reflecting pool maybe, cesspool more accurately, shark tank definitely. rich Republican my parents used to vote for.

He consistently made sense and declined to pander. The primary voters hated him. They ignored him until he disappeared, the party’s last glimmer of moderation fading in the west.

M

y first impression of these primaries was the stunning heartlessness of Republican rhetoric. Candidates vowed to deport 11 million illegals (60 percent of them U.S. residents for at least 10 years), abandon the uninsured to sickness and death, put the children of the poor to work cleaning their schools, slash unemployment benefits and shred the social safety net just when it’s most critical for victims of a ravaged economy.

Most of them embrace torture, as well. So when the journal Science published a University of Chicago study proving that lab rats feel empathy and demonstrate compassion — free rats will repeatedly try to free trapped ones — it gave me the perfect headline: “Rats Feel More Compassion Than Republicans.” (I hope The Onion didn’t beat me to that one.) But the implosion of Huntsman, Mitt Romney’s fellow Mormon, led me to serious second thoughts about Romney. Mitt, too, is rich, sane and intelligent, and has no public record of reactionary excess. He just wants the White House way too much, and knows the GOP is the only party that could take him there. All day long, he lies and panders. At night, he tells his wife that those guys in the Uncle Sam hats cheering for war on the poor make him sick to his stomach. Of course he does. Probably Ron Paul does, too.

in obscenely, like sewage from a broken main, and no one who plays this game is unsoiled.

With the Super PACs unleashed by Citizens United, and liberated billionaires like Adelson and the Koch brothers shooting high-stakes craps for America’s soul, the price tag for the entire 2012 election cycle is expected to exceed $6 billion. It might cost a billion, some estimate, to run for president, and millions to defend a seat in the House.

Pres. Obama was justly pilloried for giving in to the Super PAC fundraising model he previously disdained. But his dilemma recalls the nuclear arms race or the steroid race that corrupted athletes everywhere — who’s going to stand on principle when he doubts that anyone else will, and when it means he’ll get clobbered for sure? If you want to compete, you put on your waders and hope the sewage doesn’t crest above your waist. That’s where every politician is standing now, and none of them smells very pretty. Most Democratic voters, on the other hand, are merely citizens who wish to be fair, reasonable and generous — members of “the fraternity of the well-meaning,” in the words of one of my favorite clergymen.

To the hysterical Right, Obama is a socialist and his supporters are secular humanists lined up against God, free markets and the American family. In the real world, the president is a Rockefeller Republican and the people who vote for him, with the exception of a dwindling handful of Old Left relics and PC academics, tend to be middle-class churchgoers smart enough to suspect that a thorough voting history of Tea Party regulars would turn up legions once faithful to Jesse Helms, Strom

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Thurmond and even David Duke. Those silly hats aren’t fooling anybody.

“I am not exactly happy with the president,” confessed Bilsel Elisbah, a retiree in South Carolina, “but at least he does not scare me.”

When the Right speaks of “the Left” — and the media often repeat that label without a footnote — it no longer means “Left” in the traditional sense of favoring socialism or even social democracy. It just means “not us.” An ideological Left, that essential straw

You may think the candidates are a repugnant lot – I hope you do – but the new Republican reality is that its base, the mob it woos and placates, is much worse than its would-be leaders. man for rightwing rhetoric, no longer plays a meaningful part in the political ecosystem of the United States. As high-rollers from Wall Street, the energy industry and the Israel lobby write the checks and the script for this parade of fraud and nonsense, this legal prostitution of “public servants” that left Castro sneering around his cigar in Havana, what can “the fraternity of the well-meaning” really count on to keep moguls and angry morons from walking off with America? It’s hard to forget that Florida was where Republicans literally stole the presidency in 2001, that year when most of our current sorrows began.

The election year 2012 will mark a turning point in our history, one way or the other.

There’s a theory that the pinstripe plutocrats who always steered the Republican Party have lost control of the lunatic fringe groups they seduced and absorbed to their great electoral advantage. They built a patchwork monster

and now he’s loose. One proof offered for this Frankenstein theory is that the Tea Party and the evangelicals much prefer Rick Santorum or even Gingrich to Mitt Romney, the chosen candidate of the party’s senior establishment.

The clean-cut Santorum is a full-fledged head case, or a time traveler from the 13th Century — he defends medieval popes who launched the Crusades — and, no, nothing like the Santorum surge was part of any Republican game plan.

The debates and primaries are repulsive and tedious, and absurdly overworked by the media (it was a reality check for the press when only 2 percent of Maine’s registered Republicans turned out for the caucuses). But they’re a freak show that can only work to the Democrats’ advantage. If halfway reasonable Republicans still exist, they must consider changing parties, forming a third party or sitting out the election.

And the most liberal Democrats, the ones so disgusted with the president, are less likely to sit it out or waste their votes now that they’ve seen just how frightening, how apocalyptically dreadful a Republican victory might be.

In Florida, which may again decide our fate, the candidates folded their tents and the familiar — if not necessarily the normal — resumed. The polls closed, and when the sun came up, Cuba was still communist and the pythons and cannibals were still eating their way up and down the food chain. The same night Mitt Romney was declared the winner, Miami police cleared the Occupy Miami encampment and arrested a few of the crusaders whose pathology report on America’s metastasizing inequality was the most positive political development of 2011. In the next day’s Times, Romney’s many intimate connections to Goldman Sachs, and the Wall Street leviathan’s generous contributions to his campaign, were reported along with the insider-trading indictment of former Goldman director Rajat Gupta. Symbolically, these coincidences could hardly have been more fortunate. The one percent, victorious — for now; the 99 percent, evicted — for now. Mr. One Percent leaves in a private jet, his critics leave in a paddywagon.

And so the stage is set.

Hal Crowther themail@folioweekly.com

Santorum is the epitome of the intellectually castrated believer. If you’d vote for him knowing that he blames priestly pedophilia on “academic, political and cultural liberalism in America,” you richly deserve the Dark Age of unreason his presidency would launch.

APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 19

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Reasons to leave the house this week

FILM DON HERTZFELDT

Animator Don Hertzfeldt creates playfully dark films that feature hand-drawn stick figures tackling life’s big issues, i.e., love, loss, rejection and flying, angry ticks. This Grammy-nominated suburban surrealist has influenced pop culture faves like Adult Swim and aired on channels like MTV, Bravo, IFC and Sundance. In 2003, the now-35-year-old Hertzfeldt teamed up with “Beavis and Butthead” creator Mike Judge to launch “The Animated Show,” a sort of touring Lollapalooza for cartoon aficionados. SunRay Cinemas presents Don Hertzfeldt screening his newest film, “It’s Such a Beautiful Day,” followed by an “embarrassing onstage interview” on Fri., April 6 at 9:15 p.m. at Sun-Ray Cinemas, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. For our feature on Hertzfeldt, turn to page 36. 359-0047.

METAL CANNIBAL CORPSE

Spring hath sprung and for many locals, that means only one thing: knee-buckling allergies and quality, head-banging thrash metal! Cannibal Corpse, Exhumed, Abysmal Dawn, Arkaik and Ebulition play on Thur., April 5 at 6:30 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Since 1988, the gore-happy boys of Cannibal Corpse have been knocking ’em dead on the strength of their bloody-good live show and albums like “Tomb of the Mutilated” (’92) and their latest, the poignantly titled “Torture.” Cannibal Corpse also holds the distinct honor of appearing in ’94’s “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective” (star Jim Carrey’s a huge CC fan). CC’s also been criticized by everyone from U.S. Sen. Bob “Viagra” Dole to conservative moralizer William Bennett for undermining American values. See ya in the pit! Tickets are $18. 246-2473.

ROCK CURSIVE

Omaha-bred indie rock faves Cursive appeared in the mid-’90s on Saddle Creek Records, the same stable that produced Bright Eyes. Led by singer-songwriter Tim Kasher, Cursive has undergone a few lineup changes in their nearly two decades of existence, while releasing seven long-players of sometimes brooding but always intriguing sound. In 2003, none other than mope-meister himself Robert Smith chose Cursive to open for The Cure. Cursive plays with Cymbals Eat Guitars and Conduits on Mon., April 9 at 7 p.m. at Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. Tickets are $16. Check out our exclusive interview with Kasher on page 28. 460-9311.

FOLIO WEEKLY’S 25TH ANNIVERSARY

When Folio Weekly isn’t busy being Northeast Florida’s most outspoken news & opinion magazine, we’re plotting ingenious ways to par-tay! So you know we’ll shut the whole thang down at our 25th Anniversary Party on Tue., April 10 from 6-9 p.m. at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., on Jacksonville’s Southside. Revelers are treated to live music, bowling, beer and food and commingling with our alternately adorable and appalling staffers. Tickets (limited availability) are $5 and are available at Folio Weekly headquarters, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville; that includes food and beer or soda.

Sorry, Sweet Pea — partiers must be 21 years or older to attend. 260-9770, ext. 110.

HIP HOP RAEKWON

Hip-hop heavyweight Raekwon first boomed on the music scene when he joined up with the crazy prolific and equally arcane Wu-Tang Clan in ’92. The 42-year-old Raekwon (born Corey Woods) has since appeared on an array of solo joints, mix tapes and collaborations, delivering jams that have been described as “street epics.” Raekwon performs with Maino, Freddie Gibbs, East Coast Corruption and Bread The King on Thur., April 5 at 7 p.m. at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $20; $80 VIP. 223-9850.

Walter Coker

CLASSICAL RITZ CHAMBER PLAYERS

Since 2002, Ritz Chamber Players have offered classical concerts featuring virtuoso musicianship from players of the ensemble’s 23-strong membership and an equally eclectic and thoughtful program selection. The Ritz Chamber Players present “The Sacred and the Sacrilegious” featuring works by Bach, Handel, Szalowski and Mendelssohn, as well as the premiere of “Night Visions of Kippur” by James Lee III, on Wed., April 4 at 7:30 p.m. at the T-U Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $20; $5 for students. 354-5547.

INDIE JONES INFINTESMAL BBQ

Local music lovers wanting to sink their teeth into meat and music need look no further than Infintesmal BBQ 10, which features free food (courtesy of Chomp Chomp) and live performances from the likes of Permanent Make-Up, State Champion, Panther Sequoia, Giggle Giver, Kevin Lee Newberry, Memphibians, National Dairy, Poisonous Ghost, Raggedy Zeus, I Hope You’re A Doctor, Grabbag and Moon Cheese Babies! The whole shebang kicks off on Sat., April 7 at 4 p.m. at Phoenix Taproom, 325 W. Forsyth St., downtown Jacksonville. Donations accepted for touring bands. 799-7123.

APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 21

The Mustard Seed Cafe

Located inside Nassau Health Foods, The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials include local seafood, freerange chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available — all prepared with Stephanie Christopher’s impeccable style. Popular items are chicken or veggie quesadillas, grilled mahi, or salmon over mixed greens and tuna melt with Swiss cheese and tomato. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon.-Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net 833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141

Lulu’s at The Thompson House

Lulu’s owners, Brian and Melanie Grimley, offer an innovative lunch menu, including po’boys, salads and seafood “little plates” served in the gardens of the historic Thompson House. Dinner features fresh local seafood (Fernandina shrimp is the focus every Thursday), and nightly specials. An extensive wine list and beer are available. Open for lunch and dinner Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations are recommended.

11 S. Seventh Street 904-432-8394

PLAE Restaurant & Lounge

Located in the Spa & Shops at Amelia Island Plantation, PLAE serves bistro style cuisine. The full bar lounge at PLAE has become an instant classic, with artistic décor and live entertainment nightly.

Now you can PLAE during the day, too! Open for lunch Tue.-Sat. 11:30 a.m.-2:30p.m. Open at 5:30 p.m. for dinner daily; reservations accepted.

80 Amelia Village Cir. 904-277-2132

Moon River Pizza

Moon River Pizza treats customers like family.

Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beers. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you.

925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400

The Surf

Enjoy a casual beach atmosphere in the full-service restaurant, bar and huge oceanview deck. Extensive menu features delicious steaks, fresh seafood and nightly specials. Also featuring salads, wraps, burgers, seafood baskets and our famous all-you-can-eat wing specials (Wed. & Sun.). Take-out available. Open at 11 a.m. daily for lunch, dinner and late-night menu. Entertainment nightly and 29 TVs throughout.

3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-261-5711

Halftime Sports Bar and Grill

The place to be on the island for sports TV — NCAA, MLB, NFL and all your favorites. Starters feature pulled pork cheese fries and soon-to-be-famous wings.

The roster includes our famous All-star fish tacos, an impressive Angus burger and Gourmet quarter-pound hot dog. Try out our draft beer line-up of the best domestic and craft selections. Stop by, hang out & click halftimeameliaisland.com.

320 S. Eighth Street 904-321-0303

Cafe Karibo

Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured. Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub — the only one on the island — offers on-site beers and great burgers and sandwiches.

27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269

29 South Eats

This chic, neighborhood bistro has it all — great ambience, fantastic food, an extensive wine list and reasonable prices. The eclectic menu offers traditional world cuisine with a modern whimsical twist and Chef Scotty Schwartz won Best Chef in Folio Weekly’s 2007 Best of Jax readers poll. Open for lunch Tues.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., for dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. Mon.Thur., till 10 p.m. Fri. and Sat. Brunch is 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 29southrestaurant.com 29 S. Third Street 904-277-7919

Brett’s Waterway Café

Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef. Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily.

Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660

T-Ray’s Burger Station

T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items.

In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go!

Now serving Beer & Wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays.

202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310

Jack & Diane’s

The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina. From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair. Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner! You’ll love every bite!

708 Centre Street 904-321-1444

Sliders Seaside Grill

Oceanfront dining at its finest. Award-winning crab cakes, fresh daily seafood specials and homemade desserts. Sliders has Amelia Island’s only waterfront Tiki Bar, as well as a children’s playground and live music every weekend. The dining experience is complete with brand-new second-story banquet facilities, bar and verandah. Open at 11 a.m. daily, with happy hour from 4-7 p.m. Mon.-Fri. Make Sliders Seaside Grill your place to be for friends and family, entertainment and the best food on the East Coast. Call for your next special event.

1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-277-6652

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville 22 | folio weekly | APRil 3-9, 2012

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Katniss Evergreen (Jennifer Lawrence) “bows up” on the competition in “The Hunger Games.”

Taste the Pain

The big-screen adaptation of Suzanne Collins’ popular “The Hunger Games” is a sci-fi cinematic feast The Hunger Games ***G

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., Sun-Ray Cinema

I

f you haven’t read the novels or seen the trailers by now, I’m sure you’ve at least heard about “The Hunger Games,” the latest movie phenom fueled by a series of books aimed squarely at young adults. Though distinctly different from either “Harry Potter” or “Twilight” sagas, a succinct comparison may be in order: “The Hunger Games” is as good as the best of the “Harry Potter” films, and far better than any of the “Twilight” flicks.

“The Hunger Games” — the first in a trilogy by Suzanne Collins (who contributed to the film’s script) — is solid science fiction rather than fantasy. No witches or vampires here, and what magic there is (like a pack of mutant dogs) is of the technological variety.

Set in a dystopian future where the country of Panem (formerly North America) is divided into 12 Districts under the near-totalitarian rule of the Capital and its president, the film’s pedigree recalls several earlier efforts as diverse as “1984,” Stephen King’s “The Running Man,” “Gattaca,” “Logan’s Run” and the Japanese film “Battle Royale.”

To remind citizens of an earlier failed rebellion, Panem has instituted a contest held each year, called The Hunger Games, in which two adolescents, male and female, from each of the 12 Districts meet in a controlled environment and fight to the death. The Tributes, as contestants are called, are chosen during an annual ceremony (not unlike Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery”) at which the combatants are chosen at random. The lone winner of the intradistrict battle is rewarded with fame and a life of comparative luxury.

The unlucky participants from District 12 (one of Panem’s poorest areas) are Katniss Evergreen (Jennifer Lawrence) and Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson). He’s a baker’s son; she’s a skilled archer and hunter, and the sole provider for her mother and younger sister Primrose. What’s more exceptional about Katniss is that she’s a volunteer for the contest, opting to take her younger sister’s place when Primrose was initially chosen.

Following their selection, the contestants are whisked away to the luxurious Capital, where they are wined, dined and groomed for the Media Event of the Year. The Hunger Games are monitored live for a rapturous audience which can savor vicariously the terrors and thrills of the brutal contest. Indeed, one of the goals of the participants is to endear themselves to sponsors who can send a variety of aids and necessities to their favorite competitors over the course of the contest.

This year’s games are set in a forest wilderness, though every facet of the environment is strictly controlled by government computers. As the brutal contest unfurls, alliances are made and discarded while the body count grows, all to the delight and fascination of the home viewers. Initially antagonists, Katniss and Peeta must decide the nature of their fate and just how far they’re willing to be pawns in the game.

There is nothing particularly new in the plot and concept of “The Hunger Games” except for the crucial distinction that the protagonists are adolescents. Nor is there anything substantially different in the many themes and issues the movie addresses: e.g., the individual vs. an oppressive society, the power of the media and the desensitization to violence.

What sets “The Hunger Games” apart is that it does so many things so well. Intelligent and exciting, this action-drama features a stunning performance from young Jennifer Lawrence, already an Oscar nominee for “Winter’s Bone,” and superb supporting work from its younger cast (Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth, in particular) as well as the adults (Elizabeth Banks, Stanley Tucci, Wes Bentley, Lenny Kravitz (!) and — especially — Woody Harrelson as Haymitch, Katniss’ and Peeta’s mentor). Everyone here is good, but Lawrence’s performance is truly exceptional, even Oscar-worthy.

Just as essential to the movie’s success is writer/director Gary Ross (“Seabiscuit,” “Pleasantville”), who deftly weaves the complicated narrative threads without losing hold of his characters, particularly the engaging Katniss.

Not to be missed, “The Hunger Games” is a real winner on all fronts.

© 2006

Pat McLeod themail@folioweekly.com APRIL 3-9, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 23

FILM RATINGS

**** GREEK EPIC ***@ GREEK WEDDING **@@ GREEK SALAD *@@@ GREEK DEBT CRISIS

NOW SHOWING

ACT OF VALOR **G@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

This action film tells the story of Bandito Platoon, an elite team of Navy SEALs sent on a global manhunt to topple a deadly terrorist plot and save a CIA operative who’s been kidnapped. Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano and actual Navy SEALs star in this patriotic thriller.

AGENT VINOD **@@ Not Rated • AMC Regency Square This Bollywood spy film from writer-director Sriram Raghavan stars Saif Ali Khan as the title character; it’s about his global adventure in avenging the murder of a colleague.

CASA DE MI PADRE **@@ Rated R • Cinemark Tinseltown, Regal Beach Blvd.

This deadpan Spanish-language comedy stars Will Ferrell, Gael García Bernal, Génesis Rodríguez Pérez and Diego Luna. Filmed in the popular telenova style of Latin American cinema, the deadpan parody from director Matt Piedmont, a former SNL writer, is about Armando Alvarez’ (Ferrell) struggle to save the family ranch and his battle with drug lord Onza (Bernal).

CHRONICLE ***@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park This sci-fi film from writer-director Josh Trank and co-writer Max Landis follows three teens (Dane DeHaan, Alex Russell, Michael B. Jordan) documentary-style, with “found” footage allegedly retrieved from their video cameras. They develop telekinetic powers, and the troubled Andrew (DeHaan) uses his powers for darker purposes.

© 2012

DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX **G@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

The animated adaptation of Theodor Geisel’s work features the voices of Zac Efron, Taylor Swift, Ed Helms and Danny DeVito. In Thneedville, everything’s made of plastic and teenager Audrey (Swift) wants to see a real tree. When smitten 12-year-old Ted (Efron) accepts the challenge, he meets The Once-ler (Helms) who tells the story of The Lorax (DeVito) and the fate of the trees. While the movie benefits from deft animation and good performances, its heavy-handed environmental tone is more like a distraction, especially for younger viewers.

GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE *@@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square Nicolas Cage stars in this silly sequel to the ’07 film based on the Marvel Comic. Johnny Blaze (Cage) must rescue Satan’s (Ciarán Hinds) preteen son Danny (Fergus Riordan) aided by cycle-riding priest Moreau (Idris Elba).

GOOD DEEDS **G@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues Tyler Perry’s newest film is about wealthy businessman Wesley Deeds (Perry) whose priorities change when he becomes involved with struggling single mother, Lindsey (Thandie Newton), who’s just been evicted. Co-stars Jamie Kennedy and Rebecca Romijn.

THE HUNGER GAMES ***G Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., Sun-Ray Cinema, WGV IMAX Theater Reviewed in this issue.

24 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 3-9, 2012

The Birds and the Bees and the Blade: In the fantasy film “Wrath of the Titans,” Helius (John Bell) is taught the facts of life by Perseus (Sam Worthington) in the then-typical way of the ancient Greeks — with a steely sword forged by the gods!

AREA THEATERS AMELIA ISLAND Carmike Amelia Island 7, 1132 S. 14th St., 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS Sun-Ray Cinema@5Points, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 NORTHSIDE Hollywood River City 14, River City Marketplace, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike Fleming Island 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

IN DARKNESS ***@ Rated R • Regal Beach Blvd.

Polish director Agnieszka Holland offers this stark story, based on actual events, about the unspeakable conditions under which Jews survived, hidden in the sewers of an occupied Polish city during WWII. There are English subtitles for this multi-language film.

This faith-based flick from Andrew and Jon Erwin is about Hannah (Rachel Hendrix), a 19-year-old who finds out she was adopted — after surviving an abortion attempt — and her road trip that leads to a little soul searching.

JEFF, WHO LIVES AT HOME **@@ Rated R • Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Beach Blvd.

This indie comedy from the team of writer-director siblings Jay and Mark Duplas stars Jason Segel and Ed Helms as brothers, Jeff (Segel), who’s hiding from life in his parents’ basement, and Pat (Helms), facing his own struggle, a failed marriage. Susan Sarandon, Judy Greer and Rae Dawn Chong co-star.

JOHN CARTER **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

This mega-budget, big-screen blow-up of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ sci-fi story takes cues from predecessors “Star Wars,” “Avatar” and even “Gladiator” but somehow misses the mark. During the Civil War, soldier John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) mysteriously wakes up on the planet Mars, where he encounters warring tribes and costars Lynn Collins, Dominic West and Mark Strong. After nearly two hours of director Andrew Stanton’s (“Sherlock Holmes”) paint-by-numbers space opera action, we wish Carter would go back to sleep!

JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND **@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Regal Avenues Josh Hutcherson, Dwayne Johnson, Luiz Guzman and Michael Caine star in this family-geared film about a teenager’s adventure on a remote island in the South Pacific.

MIRROR MIRROR **@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., San Marco Theatre This latest, humorous retelling of the classic fairy tale stars Lily Collins as the orphan Snow White, rightful heir to the kingdom that’s the apple of the eye of the evil queen, played

by Julia Roberts. Director Tarsem Singh’s take on this familygeared favorite co-stars Armie Hammer, Nathan Lane and Mare Winningham.

OCTOBER BABY **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Regal Avenues

PROJECT X *@@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, Cinemark Tinseltown, Regal Beach Blvd.

This teen raunchfest trades the original humor and dialogue that made “Superbad” so enjoyable and replaces it with a stream of unoriginal standards of the genre, i.e., booze, drugs and topless women. Filmed on handycam, “Project X” features a cast of virtual unknowns.

SAFE HOUSE ***@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds star in this predictable action flick from director Paul Greengrass (the “Bourne” films). Rookie CIA operative Matt Weston (Reynolds) has finally hit the big time after nabbing rogue agent Tobin Frost (Washington). But when killer mercenaries attack the agency’s South African “safe house,” Matt and Tobin are on the run — and Matt learns justice and loyalty aren’t guaranteed.

SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN ***G Rated PG-13 • Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Beach Blvd.

Sheikh Muhammad (Amr Waked) is a very wealthy MiddleEastern man who just loves the British Empire — so much so, he wants to introduce the Scottish sport of fly-fishing to his homeland … the deserts of Yemen. Not exactly mossy braes.

Co-starring Emily Blunt, Ewan McGregor and Tom Mison.

SILENT HOUSE ***@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park Sarah (Elizabeth Olsen) helps her father John (Adam Trese) and Uncle Peter (Eric Sheffer Stevens) pack up the family country home. When her uncle leaves and Dad gets hurt, Sarah’s left alone in the dark, rambling house filled with things that go bump on the night.

THIS MEANS WAR **@@ Rated PG-13 • Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

This lightweight rom-com stars Chris Pine and Tom Hardy as two CIA agents locked into a heated contest over the affections of Reese Witherspoon. A superficial story and mediocre performances from the cast make “This Means War” a pointless crusade for those questing quality entertainment.

A THOUSAND WORDS **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Fast-talking literary agent Jack McCall (Eddie Murphy) wakes up one morning and discovers a beautiful magic tree in his

backyard. The only problem with the new landscaping is that chatty Jack discovers that every time he says a word, a leaf dies. And when the last leaf drops (a thousand, to be exact), Jack’s a goner! Kerry Washington, Cliff Curtis and Clark Duke also star in this latest comedy from funnyman Murphy.

21 JUMP STREET *G@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum star in this big-screen adaptation of the ’80s TV show that suffers from a serious case of arrested development. When rookie cops Jenko (Tatum) and Schmidt (Hill) go deep undercover into a high school to break up a drug ring, we discover the worst dope is the brain-rotting garbage being pushed onscreen as a cop-buddy picture.

THE VOW **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park The rom-com genre hits bottom with this silly sentimental tripe about a woman (Rachel McAdams) who suffers amnesia after a head injury. Now her hubby (Channing Tatum) tries his damnedest to love her all over again and remind her that true love is never forgotten — unless, of course, it’s delivered through 90 minutes of gushy drivel from director Michael Sucsy. Jessica Lange and Sam Neill climb aboard for this hardly promising cinematic snooze ride.

THE WOMAN IN BLACK ***@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Regency Square Daniel Radcliffe plays recently widowed attorney Arthur who goes to a remote British village to settle a dead woman’s account. He meets eccentric locals and a murderous spirit known as The Woman in Black. Ciarán Hinds and Misha Handley co-star in director James Watkins’ spooky picture.

WRATH OF THE TITANS **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

This so-so sequel to the popular ’10 fantasy film “Clash of the Titans” stars Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes. A decade after defeating the Kraken, warrior Perseus (Worthington) is pulled from his quiet life as a fisherman when the god Zeus is kidnapped and hell is unleashed on Earth.

OTHER FILMS

KING CORN Osprey Eco-Films present a free screening of this documentary at 7 p.m. on April 6 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, Fine Arts Center, Bldg. 45, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. The film’s creator, Curt Ellis, is on hand. 620-1268.

FRIENDS OF STUDY CIRCLES This non-profit board’s inaugural kick-off meeting is held at 6:30 p.m. on April 10 at Unitarian Universalist Church, 7405 Arlington Expressway, Jacksonville. The film “Bullied: a student, a school and a case that made history,” is shown and then discussed. Admission is free. 923-6468.

SUN-RAY CINEMA “The Hunger Games” is currently running at Sun-Ray

Cinema@5 Points, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. Call 359-0047 for showtimes. sunraycinema.com LAUREL & HARDY FILMS The Leave ’Em Laughing Tent screens Laurel & Hardy movies at 7 p.m. on April 9 at Pablo Creek branch library, 13295 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is free. 314-5801. leaveemlaughing.moviefever.com FREE WEEKEND NATURE MOVIES “Where the Whales Sing” screens at 10 a.m. and 1 p.m. on April 7, 8, 15, 21, 22, 28 and 29 at GTM Research Reserve Environmental Education Center, 505 Guana River Road, Ponte Vedra. 823-4500.

POT BELLY’S CINEMA “Albert Nobbs,” “The Artist,” “Carnage” and “The Iron Lady” are shown at Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine.

829-3101.

WGHOF IMAX THEATER “The Hunger Games” is screened along with “Forces of Nature,” “Legends of Flight 3D,” “Rescue 3D,” “The Wildest Dream: Conquest of Everest,” “Born To Be Wild 3D” and “Hubble 3D” at World Golf Hall of Fame Village, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine. 940-IMAX. worldgolfimax.com

NEW ON DVD & BLU-RAY

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EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE Director Stephen Daldry’s surefire tearjerker drama follows Oskar Schell (Thomas Horn), a nine-year-old amateur inventor, Francophile and pacifist, as he scours Manhattan streets looking for an elusive key left behind by his father Thomas (Tom Hanks), who died in the World Trade Center during the attacks on 9/11. Based on Jonathan Safran Foer’s For questions, please call your advertising representative at novel, “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” also stars Sandra FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 Bullock, John Goodman and Max von Sydow. Title not to be confused with the annual hog-calling competition at Louie promise of benefit sUpport Ask for Action Anderson’s Las Vegas ashram.

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A DANGEROUS METHOD This movie from visionary director David Cronenberg (“Naked Lunch,” “A History of Violence”) stars Viggo Mortensen, Michael Fassbender and Keira Knightley. The biopic chronicles the intense, often contentious relationship between early 20th-century pioneering psychoanalysts Sigmund Freud (Mortensen) and Carl Jung (Fassbender) as they both try to treat patient (and future female psychoanalyst) Sabina Spielrein. Fans of brainy, cerebral, thought-provoking (a pile of Folio Weekly puns!) cinema should pay mind to “A Dangerous Method.”

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ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED The vacation plans of Dave Seville (Jason Lee) and those nutty little Chipmunks (voices of Justin Long, Matthew Gray Gubler, Jesse McCartney) are sunk when they (and the Chipettes!) are marooned on a deserted island. Co-starring Amy Poehler, Anna Faris and Christina Applegate.

WE BOUGHT A ZOO Based on a true story, this film’s about recent widower Benjamin Mee (Matt Damon) who decides to “go country” and move his kids (Colin Ford, Maggie Elizabeth Jones) to an 18-acre farm. The only catch? The place is a literal zoo, crawling with critters tended by zookeeper/hot babe Kelly Foster (Scarlett Johansson). Will there be “animal magnetism” between Benjamin and Kelly? Natch, you filthy beasts!

Pretty (Wicked) Woman: Julia Roberts stars as evil Queen Clementianna and Lily Collins is “the fairest of them all” in “Mirror Mirror,” director Tarsem Singh’s re-telling of the fairy tale about Snow White.

APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 25

Sales

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APRil 3-9, 2012 | folio weekly | 27

Daniel Muller

Frontline: Tim Kasher (center) brings his current line-up of Cursive back to Northeast Florida.

CURSIVE with CYMBALS EAT GUITARS and CONDUITS Monday, April 9 at 8 p.m.

Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach Tickets are $16 460-9311

L

ast time Folio Weekly spoke with maniacally prolific singer-songwriter Tim Kasher about his recent solo work, the dude was positively down and out. (See Folio Weekly, Aug. 23, 2011, http://bit.ly/GR11j3.) This time around, Kasher was in better spirits, riffing on main band Cursive’s new album, “I Am Gemini,” a concept piece centered around twins who represent good and evil ends of the human condition. Like those polar opposites, Kasher transitions smoothly out of last year’s folk- and pop-inflected solo work into what many are calling Cursive’s heaviest, loudest magnum opus in years. Best of all, a playbill of sorts accompanies “I Am Gemini,” elevating the always-involved Cursive experience to new creative heights. Folio Weekly chatted with Kasher about the album’s ambitions, the joy of playing loud and his love of forward motion.

Folio Weekly: How did the elaborate structure of “I Am Gemini” come about?

Tim Kasher: It was certainly not an idea I had when we started writing the music, but after doing some of the vocals, I wrote the outline for the story. It all basically comes out of thin air, but I intentionally offered an allusion to mythology to give it that sense of being a traditional story or large allegory. But it’s also loosely derived from a simpler idea of just wanting to write about two conflicting forces.

28 | folio weekly | APRil 3-9, 2012

F.W.: That may be its greatest strength. Even though the songs seem to chart some big, lofty

idea, anyone can relate to the struggle between good and evil.

T.K.: I appreciate you saying that, because it’s always important for me to write something that comes across as fairly universal, or at least has a chance to resonate with listeners. I didn’t want the story to go so far up its own ass that it alienated people.

F.W.: “I Am Gemini” also seems different from much of your past work, which comes from a very personal place. Were you consciously trying to write outside yourself for a change?

T.K.: Not totally, although it was conscious in the sense that I try to keep any writing I do fresh. I recognize that anything referential can become a little stagnant. But I also recognize that the listener seeks some specific type of

“I didn’t want the story to go so far up its own ass that it alienated people.” writing from me, so it goes back to ensuring that I’m not alienating people by producing this fictionalized piece that has nothing to do with anyone. And the whole time I was writing each song and figuring out each direction of the story, I always made sure I understood how it was relatable to me.

F.W.: You went to the trouble of creating an actual script for the album’s liner notes. Do you have grand visions of producing “I Am Gemini” onstage someday?

T.K.: I’d be pretty nervous about how awful it’d turn out. [Laughs.] I had a handful of daydreams about that when I was first working

on it, but I put those ideas aside because I wanted to concentrate on the album itself.

Now, if one so chooses to sit down with the playbill and work through it while listening, that’s my preference.

F.W.: Is it hard to turn off your restless creativity?

T.K.: It’s definitely a little bit of a curse, but I love it. I don’t have another job to occupy my time, so I need to stay busy. I guess people around me might suggest that maybe I’ve taken the obsession too far. But I’m OK with it.

F.W.: Are you happy with how you hit both ends of the musical spectrum, between your quieter solo work and louder Cursive sound?

T.K.: Absolutely. But this new Cursive record is heavier and louder for the most simplistic reason: It’s just fun. I’ve recognized in a very simple, pure sense that there’s such an impulse — even for a folk band — to turn up their instruments and play loud. It feels so natural to do that, so we wanted to do an album that would complement that and be a lot of fun to play live. That runs really counter to the type of music I listen to, though, which is generally quieter and more forlorn.

F.W.: You’ve got one hell of a tour coming up — 30 North American dates, followed by 31 European dates, all in the space of less than three months. After all these years, do you still enjoy hitting the road that hard?

T.K.: You’re catching me at a time when I very much do; toward the end of this album cycle, I’ll feel pretty weary. But I’ve gotten used to that. Putting out new material makes all the difference in the world. So when I get weary with this, I’ll have a new album of solo stuff and I’ll be excited to go tour that.

Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com

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Sax Man

Legendary horn man Eddie Shaw lives the blues – and survives to tell the tale EDDIE SHAW & THE WOLF GANG Springing the Blues on Sun., April 15 at 3:30 p.m. on Main Stage; at 5:30 p.m. on West Stage, Seawalk Pavilion, Jax Beach Premium seating ranges from $10-$50 For a schedule and tickets, go to springingtheblues.com

M

usic, like anything in life, evolves, changes and grows with technological advances.

Rock ‘n’ roll, country and Western, rhythm and blues, even hip hop, all changed — sometimes dramatically — over the past 50 years. But the blues, well, they’re still the blues: the same 12 bars, the same heartache, the same amazing formula since Robert Johnson met the devil at that Mississippi crossroads.

That’s not to say that the blues hasn’t produced its share of still-current legends.

Eddie Shaw was born in Stringtown, Miss., in 1937, into a Delta troupe of amazing musicians.

Shaw was still a teenager when he began working with the likes of Muddy Waters and Howlin’ Wolf. When Wolf died, Shaw took over his band, The Wolf Gang, a blues outfit with some of the best blues musicians who’ve ever lived and who have played all over the world.

Nowadays, Shaw doesn’t move as quickly as he used to, but he still manages to tour pretty damned well for someone in his 70s. He recently chatted with Folio Weekly from his home (see Folio Weekly, Aug. 23, 2011, http://bit.ly/GR11j3)

Folio Weekly: When did you first pick up the saxophone?

Eddie Shaw: The house that we lived in when I was young was right next door to my school.

I could leave when the bell rang for class and still make it on time. The school band would practice outside in the summertime, and the band leader played tenor saxophone. I idolized the guy so much. One day, my stepfather told me to go talk to the guy, because he knew I wanted to play in the band. At that time, there

weren’t many guitar players around, so I didn’t get that influence. I played sax in grammar school through high school. I played in the band and played in all the marching parades down the streets.

F.W.: From a very early age, you were surrounded by amazing musicians. Not just in the genre of blues, but in the history of music.

Do you remember the day you met Muddy Waters? Was that a pivotal point in your career as a musician?

E.S.: I don’t know that it was a big deal originally. At the time I met Muddy, we had been playing around the same time. He played at the gymnasium at my school. He was just another guy — he wasn’t a famous, over-the-top blues musician at the time. I did a piece with some guys from the school at the show. After the session was over, he told me I was a good horn player and asked me if I would come on a tour he was on. He was doing 15 days through Louisiana, Mississippi and Arkansas. So I took a few days off and went with him on the road, a young horn player trying to learn how to play the blues correctly. After the tour, he told me if I ever needed a job, or wanted to come to Chicago, I could call him, he would make some room for me. About a month later, I called him and told him I wanted a shot. He asked me to be in Chicago a couple of days later.

F.W.: When you started leading Howlin’ Wolf’s band, did you feel added pressure being in charge?

E.S.: I just wanted to upgrade to Wolf’s band, but I did get some resentment from the other guys. I was the youngest guy in the band, and some of the other guys wondered why I was there. But that was never my concern. Wolf gave me the ball and I ran with it and did the best I could with it. I did some of the writing and arranging on some of his tunes that turned out to be positive. I loved the man. We had a good relationship. He had a lot of respect for me, too. rela F.W Other styles of music change throughout F.W.: the years. The blues don’t ever change. Why is that?

E.S.: It is going to stay in the same form.

E. Blues is the foundation of everything you Bl hear he today. You can build a million-dollar home ho up on a hill, but the home has to have a foundation to begin with. The blues is that foundation in music. You build on the blues. fo That’s why it will never die. It will be around for fo decades.

© 2012

Danny Kelly themail@folioweekly.com

S Springing the Blues is held Fri., Sat. and Sun., April 13, 14 and 15, at Seawalk Pavilion, Jax A Beach. Scheduled performers include Lucky Peterson featuring Tamara Peterson, The Lee Boys, Lisa Mills, The Alexis P. Suter Band, The Tony Lynn Washington Band and others. For more info and tickets, go to springingtheblues.com

APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 29

Chroma are Alex Hayward (left), Adam Mantovani (center) and Paul Miller (right).

Fully Occupied

Politically cognizant rockers Chroma balance revolutionary zeal with the daily grind CHROMA with BRAIDED LIGHT DANCE PROJECT and TASTEBUDS CD Release Party for “Round and Round” Saturday, April 7 at 9 p.m.

1904, 19 N. Ocean St., Jacksonville Admission is $10

T

©

30 | folio weekly | APRil 3-9, 2012

he trio known as Chroma has spent the last few years mastering the art of busting ass. When the band (bassist-vocalist Adam Mantovani, guitarist-vocalist Paul Miller and percussionistvocalist Alex Hayward) isn’t gigging out playing original, angular funk, they’re performing as Bread and Butter, their all-cover alter ego that jams on everything from Otis Redding to The Meters. Drummer Hayward estimates the band 2011 plays roughly 300 gigs a year and, with a median age of 31, they show no signs of slowing down.

Originally formed in 2003, Chroma has narrowed down to a razor-sharp three-piece who have shared the stage with artists ranging from P-Funk guru George Clinton to ethnic music mutants Toubab Krewe.

The band was recently invited to provide a track for the upcoming compilation “Occupy This Album,” an album that features such heavyweights as Willie Nelson, Thievery Corporation, Lucinda Williams, Loudon Wainwright III and Devo. Proceeds from the compilation will go toward sustaining the global Occupy movement.

On April 7, Chroma and friends TasteBuds and Braided Light Dance Project celebrate the trio’s latest, “Round and Round” (chromatime. com). Folio Weekly spoke to Hayward as he and Mantovani drove to this year’s Suwannee Springfest, where the two were playing as hired guns for Nicholas Williams’ folk identity, Whetherman.

FolioWeekly

Folio Weekly: How did “Round and Round” come together?

Alex Hayward: We had been talking about doing a record, and we got an email from a guy named Jordan Kennison who was a student at Jacksonville University. And he asked us, “Do you want have a record released on Dolphinium Records?” We thought it was just bullshit [Laughs.] so we ignored it. But he kept emailing us and he was a big fan of the band. We had seen him at shows and we knew who he was, we just didn’t know his name. Dolphinium Records is a label based out of JU and Tommy Harrison is the guy who runs the recording center and music marketing program there. Every year, each music marketing student brings in a band that they think would be marketable and they make a

record with that band. So they chose us — and I guess we won the contest [Laughs.] or whatever.

But we checked out their studio and they actually have a great sounding room. We tracked all of the rhythm tracks live and just overdubbed the vocals. It was a really great session. And even though we are probably known for instrumentals as much as anything else, the songs on this record are really much more vocally driven.

F.W.: Is the songwriting process for Chroma democratic?

A.H.: Yeah, not really. We’ve been gradually trying to do that. On our last album, it was mostly Paul’s songs with a few of my songs and you can tell, since there is a dramatic difference between his writing and mine. This time, it sort of reversed, where I think seven of the 10 songs are mine. Typically, Paul or I write the songs and I bring my tunes with all of the parts for each player written. Sometimes I need help from Paul harmonically to connect the dots.

F.W.: Don’t you think it’s a myth that the best bands are democratic?

A.H.: I have to say that I have been moving more toward [not being democratic] and risking being an asshole because ultimately you just need to get it done! If you compromise, nobody really wins and it’s not the true and honest product.

F.W.: How did Chroma get involved with “Occupy This Album”?

A.H.: When I lived in New York, I worked for a recording studio there called Sound Track. My sister works there, so she had gotten me a job there. So the studio had connections to people who had started this “Occupy” album project. It’s been really up and down. Originally, Perry Farrell was on board, then Green Day. The producers initially asked me to do a song that was supposed to be the anthem, which I was f*cking thrilled about. [Laughs.] So I wrote a song, recorded and sent it up there and this was going to be the anthem and radio single. And then Green Day signed on and said, “We’ll do the record if we can write the anthem,” so I said, “Say no more.”

How can I compete with that? But then Green Day backed out. The release date was originally December of last year and now it’s May. [Laughs.]

But it’s a cool project and more and more bands have signed on. There’s some killer art work by Alex Grey. And this is the biggest release affiliated with the Occupy Wall Street movement and we’re on it. And that feels pretty good.

Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

CONCERTS THIS WEEK

INSIDE THE TARGET CAR, I AM THE AVALANCHE, HOSTAGE CALM, LENHEART This evening of punk and hard rock kicks off at 7 p.m. on April 3 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $12. 223-9850.

VAGABOND SWING These rockers get into the “swing� of things at 9 p.m. on April 4 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach.

277-8010.

CANNIBAL CORPSE, EXHUMED, ABYSMAL DAWN, ARKAIK, EBULITION Legendary thrash heads Cannibal Corpse play at 6:30 p.m. on April 5 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $18. 246-2473.

RAEKWON, MAINO, FREDDIE GIBBS, EAST COAST CORRUPTION, BREAD THE KING Wu Tang rapper Raekwon performs at 7 p.m. on April 5 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $20; $80 VIP. 223-9850.

BIG KETTLE DRUM, A FRAGILE TOMORROW, DIRTY SHANNON, RANDALL SHREVE & THE SIDESHOW These local rockers play at 8 p.m. on April 5 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $8. 398-7496.

LITTLE JAKE & THE SOUL SEARCHERS These R&B sensations play at 8 p.m. on April 5 at European Street CafĂŠ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 399-1740.

WHETHERMAN Indie folkie Whetherman is on at 9 p.m. on April 5 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010.

He also performs at 10 p.m. on April 7 at Poe’s Tavern, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7637.

FRAMING HANLEY, BLEEDING IN STEREO, MANNA ZEN, MARION CRANE Nashville rockers Framing Hanley play at 7 p.m. on April 6 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850.

RAT BABIES, AKRIS These doom rockers appear at 9 p.m. on April 6 at Shantytown Pub, 22 W. Sixth St., Jacksonville. 798-8222.

KARL DAVIS Bluesy rocker Davis plays at 9 p.m. on April 6 at Dog Star Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010.

ROSCO CAINE The local rockers perform at 9 p.m. on April 6 and 7 at Cliff’s Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., Jacksonville. 645-5162.

BE EASY This local group is on at 10 p.m. on April 6 at Poe’s Tavern, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7637.

BREAD AND BUTTER Bread & Butter, the all-covers alter ego of local jam faves Chroma, perform at 10 p.m. on April 6 at Seven Bridges Grille, 9735 Gate Parkway N., Jacksonville. 997-1999. The band also performs at 10 p.m. on April 8 at Ragtime Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877.

CANARY IN THE COALMINE This Americana band performs at 10 p.m. on April 6 at Mojo No. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., Jacksonville. 381-6670.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Whetherman plays at 10:30 a.m., Mark Williams & Blue Horse are on at 11:45 a.m. and Jerry Maniscalco performs at 2:30 p.m. on April 7 at the weekly market, held under the Fuller Warren Bridge at Riverside Avenue, downtown. 554-6865. riversideartsmarket.com INFINTESMAL BBQ 10: PERMANENT MAKE-UP, STATE CHAMPION, PANTHER SEQUOIA, GIGGLE GIVER, KEVIN LEE NEWBERRY, MEMPHIBIANS, NATIONAL DAIRY, POISONOUS GHOST, RAGGEDY ZEUS, I HOPE YOU’RE A DOCTOR, GRABBAG, MOON CHEESE BABIES This festival of indie rock and free eats from Chomp Chomp kicks off at 4 p.m. on April 7 at Phoenix Taproom, 325 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Donations are accepted for touring bands. 799-7123.

OPIATE EYES, DJ NICKFRESH Indie rockers Opiate Eyes celebrate the vinyl release of their latest recording at 9 p.m. on April 7 at Dos Gatos, 123 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. 354-0666.

THE SESSION This area group plays at 7 p.m. on April 7 at Lillie’s Coffee Bar, 200 N. First St., Neptune Beach. 249-2922.

SUNJAMMER Local faves SunJammer hit the stage at 7 p.m. on April 7 at Dick’s Wings and Grill, 1610 University Blvd. W., Jacksonville.

448-2110.

FreebirdLive.com / TU 4U +BY #FBDI '- r #*3%

BREAKING THROUGH CD RELEASE PARTY with DN, BLOWIT UP, VIKTR Local rockers Breaking Through celebrate their latest release at 7 p.m. on April 7 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850.

APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION (GUNS N’ ROSES TRIBUTE), HEART SHAPED BOX (NIRVANA TRIBUTE), AZYMUTH This evening of tribute rock mania begins at 8 p.m. on April 7 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $10.

246-2473.

DR. STONE & THE ROCK N’ ROLL CIRCUS The Doctor will rock you at 8 p.m. on April 7 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $8. 398-7496.

BETH McKEE Singer-songwriter McKee plays at 8 p.m. on April 7 at European Street CafĂŠ, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 399-1740.

CHROMA, BRAIDED LIGHT DANCE PROJECT, TASTEBUDS Local favorites Chroma celebrate the release of their new album “Round and Round� at 9 p.m. on April 7 at 1904, 19 N. Ocean St., Jacksonville. Admission is $10. 356-0213.

DR. BILL Dr. Bill prescribes a little music at 10 p.m. on April 7 at Mojo No. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., Jacksonville. 381-6670.

CHRIS THOMAS KING Grammy-winning blues artist King plays at 10 p.m. on April 7 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Tickets are $15. 247-6636.

GOLIATH FLORES The local musician plays at 1 p.m. on April 8 at Three Layers CafĂŠ, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791.

REVENGEFULLHATE, HOLLOW POINT MILITIA, KILLING EGO, DYSTIL, SACRIFICE TO SURVIVE These local bands hit the stage at 7 p.m. on April 8 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10.

398-7496.

STATE CHAMPION, THE DEWARS These punkers perform promptly at 9 p.m. on April 8 at Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine. Admission is $5.

547-2188.

THE ANATOMY OF FRANK, ANTIQUE ANIMALS, SHONI The indie rockers play at 9 p.m. on April 8 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. 353-4686.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

April 5 Brent Byrd April 6 & 7 Grandpa’s Cough Medicine

,JOH 4USFFU t 4U "VHVTUJOF t

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

“Join us for Blues, Rock & Funk�

CANNIBAL CORPSE EXHUMED/ABYSAMAL DAWN/ARKAIK FRIDAY APRIL 6

Sentropolis/The Westerlies SATURDAY APRIL 7

APPETITE

FOR DESTRUCTION (Ultimate GUNS N ROSES Tribute)

HEART SHAPED BOX (authentic NIRVANA tribute) SATURDAY APRIL 14

TIM REYNOLDS TR3 (Dave Matthews guitarist)

Sons of Bill WEDNESDAY APRIL 18

GWAR Ghoul | Kylessa Legacy of Disorder FRIDAY APRIL 20

Early show: Doors at 5 with

THE MAINE

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

The Best Live Music in St. Augustine!

THURSDAY APRIL 5

Lydia/The Arkells SATURDAY APRIL 21

Mon-

Men’s Night Out Beer Pong 7pm $1 Draft $5 Pitchers Free Pool ALL U CAN EAT CRABLEGS

Tues-

Texas Hold ’Em STARTS AT 7 P.M.

Wed-

Bar Bingo/Karaoke ALL U CAN EAT WINGS KIDS EAT FREE FROM 5 P.M. TO 9 P.M. HAPPY HOUR ALL NIGHT

Thurs- DJ BG w/Cornhole Tournament 2 FOR 1 DOMESTIC DRAFTS, WELLS AND HOUSE WINE

Fri-

Boogie Freaks 9:30pm 1/2 PRICE APPS-FRI (BAR ONLY) 4-7PM DECK MUSIC 5-9 P.M.

Sat-

Boogie Freaks 9:30pm DECK MUSIC 5-9P.M.

Sun-

HAPPY EASTER! Reggae FRANK CHARLES 4-8P.M.

WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE RUMBLE FINALS Featuring 10 bands w/ A New Decree & more WEDNESDAY APRIL 25

Reggae greats STEEL PULSE Innercoastal FRIDAY APRIL 27

THE MOVEMENT WEDNESDAY MAY 2

MICKEY AVALON ANDRE LEGACY THURSDAY MAY 3

RUSTED ROOT S.P.O.R.E. UPCOMING SHOWS

5-9: Whitechapel/Miss May I 5-10: Beach House 5-20: Tribal Seeds/Through the Roots 5-25: Hello Danger 5-26: One 7-21: Badfish

APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 31

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

nippers

RHYTHM OF FEAR, DOFFIS, THROW DOWN ROCK, ROCK N’ ROLL CHROME, RED SEAS This night of local music kicks off at 7 p.m. on April 9 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10.

398-7496.

CURSIVE, CYMBALS EAT GUITARS, CONDUITS Omaha indie faves Cursive play at 7 p.m. on April 9 at Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. Tickets are $16. 460-9311.

LIONIZE, FAIR TO MIDLAND, DEAD LETTER CIRCUS, GLORIOUS GUNNER Prog rockers Lionize play at 7 p.m. on April 9 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850.

I SET MY FRIENDS ON FIRE, A BULLET FOR PRETTY BOY, GREELEY ESTATES, A LOT LIKE BIRDS The indie and metal music starts at 6 p.m. on April 10 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $12 and $14. 223-9850.

CANDLEBOX Alt rockers Candlebox perform at 6 p.m. on April 10 at Mavericks, 2 Independent Drive, Jacksonville. Tickets are $15; $25 for upstairs. 356-1110.

GO RADIO, THIS PROVIDENCE, TYLER CARTER, SIMPLE AS SURGERY, THE DRAMA SUMMER These indie rockers hit the stage at 7 p.m. on April 10 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $12.

398-7496.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

OVER THE RHINE, LUCY WAINWRIGHT ROCHE April 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TOWER OF POWER April 12, The Florida Theatre SPRINGING THE BLUES: JOEY GILMORE BLUES BAND, ALBERT CUMMINGS, ELI COOK BAND, TRAMPLED UNDER FOOT, JOANN SHAW TAYLOR, WOODY & THE PECKERS, WILLIE GREEN BLUES PROJECT, EDDIE SHAW & THE WOLFGANG, THE LEE BOYS April 13-15, Jax Beach & Mojo Kitchen JOSH GRACIN April 13, Mavericks

32 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 3-9, 2012

LUCID April 13, Dog Star Tavern JACKSONVILLE SUPERFEST: 60 LOCAL ACTS & BANDS April 13, Aloft Tapestry Park; April 14 & 15, UNF BIG KETTLE DRUM April 13, Burro Bar MARTINA McBRIDE April 13, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TIM REYNOLDS, SONS OF BILL April 14, Freebird Live BRAIDED LIGHT DANCE PROJECT, MARTHA’S TROUBLE, SCOTT JONES DANCERS April 14, Riverside Arts Market UNDERHILL ROSE April 14, European Street Café Southside FLANNEL CHURCH April 14, Dog Star Tavern DAUGHTRY April 15, T-U Center NATURAL CHILD, RIVERNECKS, THE COUGS April 15, Nobby’s VAN HALEN, KOOL & THE GANG April 16, Veterans Memorial Arena GWAR, GHOUL, KYLESSA April 18, Freebird Live THE NIGHT BEATS, THE MOLD, THEE HOLY GHOSTS April 18, Nobby’s HOWIE & MOSELY April 19, Dog Star Tavern HUMAN NATURE April 20, T-U Center THE FRONTMEN April 20, Mavericks RACHELLE FERRELL April 20, Ritz Theatre & Museum THE MAINE April 20, Freebird Live DEAN DEMERRITT April 20, Dog Star Tavern BLACK MOLLY April 20, Brewster’s Pit WANEE MUSIC FEST: ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND, FURTHUR, GOV’T MULE, TEDESCHI TRUCKS BAND, JAIMOE’S JASSSZ BAND, BUDDY GUY, BRUCE HORNSBY, DEVON ALLMAN’S HONEYTRIBE April 20 & 21, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park WHETHERMAN April 21, Poe’s Tavern ROCKVILLE RUMBLE FINALS April 21, Freebird Live THE PRETTY RECKLESS, THE PARLOR MOB, THE HOLLYWOOD KILLS April 21, Jack Rabbits SMALL HOUSES, TOBACCO PAT, AMONG GIANTS April 23, Burro Bar STEEL PULSE, INNERCOASTAL April 25, Freebird Live MARK SULTAN, WAYLON THORNTON & THE HEAVY HANDS April 25, Café Eleven RODNEY ATKINS April 26, Mavericks TIM BARRY, BILLY + JOE, BEAU CRUM, JOEL WILTGEN April 26, Jack Rabbits GINORMOUS J April 26, Dog Star Tavern

ELVIS COSTELLO & The IMPOSTERS April 27, The Florida Theatre RISE TO AGAINST, A DAY TO REMEMBER, TITLE FIGHT April 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BADMAN April 27, Dog Star Tavern DICK DALE April 28, Jack Rabbits SCHOLAR’S WORD April 28, Dog Star Tavern GREG LAKE April 29, The Florida Theatre WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: KORN, SHINEDOWN, EVANESCENCE, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, P.O.D. April 29, Metro Park COUNTING CROWS May 1, The Florida Theatre THE BEACH BOYS 50th ANNIVERSARY REUNION TOUR May 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MICKEY AVALON, ANDRE LEGACY May 2, Freebird Live DIECAST May 3, Brewster’s Pit THE FRAY May 4, St. Augustine Amphitheatre WHETHERMAN, CANARY IN THE COALMINE May 5, Mojo Kitchen KOTTONMOUTH KINGS, TWIZTID, BLAZE BIG B May 7, Brewster’s Pit EDDIE VEDDER, GLEN HANSARD May 8, T-U Center WHITECHAPEL, MISS MAY I May 9, Freebird Live WE OWN THE NIGHT WORLD TOUR: LADY ANTEBELLUM, DARIUS RUCKER, THOMPSON SQUARE May 10, Veterans Memorial Arena BEACH HOUSE May 10, Freebird Live CATIE CURTIS May 11, Café Eleven FUSEBOX FUNK May 12, Mojo Kitchen CHUCK PROPHET & THE MISSION EXPRESS May 14, Jack Rabbits WILCO May 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JANE’S ADDICTION May 16, The Florida Theatre UNCLE KRACKER May 19, Mavericks GRANT PEEPLES May 19, European Street Southside TRIBAL SEEDS May 20, Freebird Live FLOGGING MOLLY May 21, Mavericks EDGAR WINTER BAND May 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JACKSONVILLE JAZZ FESTIVAL: SONNY ROLLINS, CHICK COREA, STANLEY CLARKE, LENNY WHITE TRIO, PATTI AUSTIN, JACKSONVILLE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA May 24-27, Downtown Jacksonville ONE May 26, Freebird Live

on April 6. DJ Lounge Chair on April 7 GENNARO’S ITALIANO SOUTH, 5472 First Coast Hwy., 491-1999 Live jazz from 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Dan Voll from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Live music every weekend O’KANE’S IRISH PUB, 318 Centre St., 261-1000 Dan Voll at 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Turner London Band at 8:30 p.m. every Thur., Fri. & Sat. THE PALACE SALOON & SHEFFIELD’S, 117 Centre St., 491-3332 BSP Unplugged every Tue. & Sun. Wes Cobb every Wed. DJ Heavy Hess, Hupp & Rob every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Miguel Alvarez in Sheffield’s every Fri. DJ Heavy Hess every Sat. Cason every Mon. PLAE, 80 Amelia Circle, Amelia Island Plantation, 277-2132 Gary Ross from 7-11 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6990 Cason at 2 p.m. at the tiki bar every Sat. & Sun. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Live music Tue.-Sun. DJ Roc at 5 p.m. every Wed.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

“An Axl Rose by another name ‌ â€?

Guns N’ Roses tribute act Appetite for Destruction are joined by Heart Shaped Box (Nirvana tribute) and Azymuth on April 7 at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $10. 246-2473.

COLBIE CAILLAT, GAVIN DEGRAW May 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DETHLEHEM May 30, Burro Bar CELERITAS, MILO June 5, Burro Bar ZZ TOP, 3 DOORS DOWN, GRETCHEN WILSON June 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RINGO STARR & HIS ALL STARR BAND June 29, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LITTLE FEAT July 31, The Florida Theatre IAN ANDERSON (Jethro Tull) Sept. 21, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

• CLUBS • AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

BEECH STREET GRILL, 801 Beech, 277-3662 John Springer on Fri. & Sat., every other Thur. Barry Randolph every Sun. CAFE KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269 Live music in the courtyard at 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., at 5 p.m. every Sun. DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Vagabond Swing on April 4. Whetherman on April 5. Karl Davis & friends

AJ’S BAR & GRILLE, 10244 Atlantic Blvd., 805-9060 DJ Sheryl every Thur., Fri. & Sat. DJ Mike every Tue. & Wed. Karaoke every Thur.

MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. PLUSH, RAIN, LAVA, 845 University Blvd. N., 745-1845 DJ Massive spins top 40 in Rain every Wed., DJs spin Latin every Fri. STARBUCKS, 9301 Atlantic Blvd., 724-4554 Open mic with Starbucks Trio from 8-11 p.m. every other Fri. TONINO’S TRATTORIA, 7001 Merrill Rd., 743-3848 Alaina Colding every Thur. W. Harvey Williams at 6 p.m. every Fri. Signature String Quartet every Sat. VIP LOUNGE, 7707 Arlington Expressway, 619-8198 Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Wed. & Fri. Reggae every Thur. A DJ spins Old School every Sat. A DJ spins every Sun.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BRICK RESTAURANT, 3585 St. Johns Ave., 387-0606 Duet

burro mojojojo

Wednesday Ron Perry Thursday Rick Arcusa Friday & Saturday Oversized Load Sunday

fionn

Bread & Butter

Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD #FBDI t APRIL 3-9, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 33

every Wed. Goliath Flores and Sam Rodriguez every Thur. Bush Doctors every first Fri. & Sat. Live jazz every Fri. & Sat. THE CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. 3rd Bass every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith spins for Karaoke every Tue. DJ Free spins vintage every Fri. DJs SuZiRok, LowKill & Mowgli spin for Chillwave Madness every Mon. ELEVATED AVONDALE, 3551 St. Johns Ave., 387-0700 Karaoke with Dave Thrash every Wed. DJ 151 spins hip hop, R&B, old-school every Thur. DJ Catharsis spins lounge beats every first & fourth Sat. Patrick Evan & CoAlition Industry Sun. MOJO NO. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670 Canary in the Coalmine at 10 p.m. on April 6. Dr. Bill at 10 p.m. on April 7.

TOM & BETTY’S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Live music every Fri. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

THE COFFEE GRINDER, 9834 Old Baymeadows Rd., 642-7600 DJ Roy Luis spins new & vintage original house at 9 p.m. every Thur.

GATOR’S DOCKSIDE, 8650 Baymeadows Rd., 448-0500 Comfort Zone Band at 9 p.m. every Fri. MY PLACE BAR-N-GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Rd., 737-5299 Out of Hand every Mon. Rotating bands every other Tue. & Wed. OASIS GRILL & CHILL, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 748-9636 DJs Stan and Mike Bend spin every Feel Good Fri.

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD, 120 S. Third St., 444-8862 Kurt Lanham sings island music every Fri.-Sun. BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 David Pooler at 5:30 p.m. on April 5. Green Tea Logic at 6 p.m. on April 6. Dune Dogs at 5:30 p.m. on April 7. Billy Bowers at noon, live music at 4:45 p.m. on April 8 BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 DJ IBay every Tue., Fri. & Sat. DJ Ginsu every Wed. DJ Jade every Thur.

Charlie Walker every Sun.

CRAB CAKE FACTORY, 1396 Beach Blvd., Beach Plaza, 247-9880 Live jazz with Pierre & Co. every Wed. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Live music every weekend DICK’S WINGS, 311 N. Third St., Ste. 107, 853-5004 Big Jeff at 8 p.m. every Thur. Live music at 9 p.m. every Sat. EL POTRO MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1553 Third St. N., 241-6910 Wilfredo Lopez every Wed. & Sat. ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY, 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337 Live music every Thur.

EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 992 Beach Blvd., 399-1740 Live music from 5-8 p.m. on April 8 FIONN MacCOOL’S, 333 N. First St., 242-9499 Live music every Thur.-Sat. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Nate Holley every Mon. Wes Cobb every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. King Eddie reggae every Sun. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Cannibal Corpse, Abysmal Dawn, Arkaik and Exhumed on April 5.

Appetite For Destruction (Guns N’ Roses tribute), Heart Shaped Box (Nirvana tribute) and Azymuth on April 7 ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 D-Lo Thompson on April 5. Billy Buchanan on April 6. Brady Reich on April 7. Live music every Thur.-Sat. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 The Session at 7:30 p.m. on April 7. Live music every Fri. & Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Blistur on April 6 & 7. Split Tone at 10:30 p.m. every Tue. Nate Holley every Wed. Ryan Campbell every Thur. Wits End every Sun. Little Green Men every Mon. MAYPORT TAVERN, 2775 Old Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 270-0801 Live music at 3 p.m. every Sun. Open mic at 5 p.m. every Wed. DJ Jason hosts Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., Ste. 2, 246-1500 Arpetrio on April 4. Wits End on April 5. Matt Still on April 6.

Vagabond Swing on April 7. Kurt Lanham on April 8 MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon at 6 p.m. every Tue. Gypsies Ginger at 6 p.m. every Wed. Mike Shackelford and Rick Johnson at 6 p.m. every Thur.

MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Simplified on April 6. Chris Thomas King at 10 p.m. on April 7 MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Wes Cobb at 10 p.m. every Tue. DJ Austin Williams spins dance & for Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Wed., Sat. & Sun. DJ Papa Sugar spins dance music at 9 p.m. every Mon., Thur. & Fri. NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 The 418 Band at 6 p.m. on April 5. Matt Henderson at 6 p.m., Danka at 10 p.m. on April 6. Roccu Blu at 2 p.m., Be Easy at 6 p.m. on April 7. Nicholas Williams at noon, Domenic at 4 p.m. on April 8. Reggae on the deck every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sun. Live music every 3rd Wed. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Live music every Thur.-Sat. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Live music every weekend THE PIER RESTAURANT, 445 Eighth Ave. N., 246-6454 Darren Corlew and Johnny Flood at 7 p.m. every Thur. DJ Infader every Fri. Nate Holley every Sat. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7637 Be Easy at 10 p.m. on April 6. Whetherman at 8 p.m. on April 7 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Ron Perry on April 4. Rick Arcusa on April 5.

Oversized Load on April 6 & 7. Bread & Butter on April 8 RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 320 N. First St., 270-8565 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. SUN DOG, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 241-8221 Billy & Trevor at 6 p.m. on April 4. 3 the Band on April 5. Cloud 9 on April 6 & 7. Ron Perry Duo on April 8. Live music every Tue.-Sun. THE WINE BAR, 320 N. First St., 372-0211 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

FIONN MacCOOL’S, The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 176, 374-1247 Live music every weekend THE IVY ULTRA BAR, 113 E. Bay St., 356-9200 DJs 151 The Experience & C-Lo spin every Rush Hour Wed. DJ E.L. spins top 40, South Beach & dance classics every Pure Sat. THE JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 A DJ spins disco at 5:30 p.m. on April 4 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Vinn spins top 40 for ladies nite every Thur. Ritmo y Sabor every Fiesta Fri. BayStreet mega party with DJ Shotgun every Sat. MAVERICKS, The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Candlebox at 6 p.m. on April 10. Bobby Laredo spins every Thur. & Sat. Saddle Up every Sat. NORTHSTAR THE PIZZA BAR, 119 E. Bay St., 860-5451 Open mic night from 8:30-11:30 p.m. every Wed. THE PEARL, 1101 N. Main St., 791-4499 DJs Tom P. & Ian S. spin ’80s & indie dance every Fri. DJ Ricky spins indie rock, hip hop & electro every Sat. PHOENIX TAPROOM, 325 W. Forsyth St., 798-8222 Infintesmal BBQ 10: Permanent Make-Up, State Champion, Panther Sequoia, Giggle Giver, Kevin Lee Newberry, Memphibians, National Dairy, Poisonous Ghost, Raggedy Zeus, I Hope You’re A Doctor, Grabbag and Moon Cheese Babies at 4 p.m. on April 7 POPPY LOVE SMOKE, 112 E. Adams St., 354-1988 DJs Al Pete & Gene Dot spin for The Glossary at 10 p.m. every Sat. ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Braxton Adamson on April 5. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MERCURY MOON, 2015 C.R. 220, 215-8999 DJ Ty spins for ladies’ nite every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Buck Smith Project every Mon. Blistur unplugged every Wed. RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 406 Old Hard Rd., Ste. 106, 213-7779 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Karaoke on April 4. DJ BG on April 5. Boogie Freaks at 9:30 p.m. on April 6 & 7. Deck music at 5 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

BREWSTER’S PIT, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Inside the Target Car, I Am the Avalanche, Hostage Calm and Lenheart on April 3. Raekwon, Maino, Freddie Gibbs, East Coast Corruption and Bread the King on April 5. Framing Hanley, Bleeding in Stereo, Manna Zen and Marion Crane on

April 6. Breaking Through CD release party with DN, Blowit Up and Viktr on April 7. Lionize, Fair to Midland, Dead Letter Circus and Glorious Gunner on April 9. I Set My Friends on Fire, A Bullet for Pretty Boy, Greeley Estates and A Lot Like Birds on April 10 BREWSTER’S PUB, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Open mic every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Randal & live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. A DJ spins every Mon. BRUCCI’S PIZZA, 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36, 223-6913 Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Sat. and Mon. CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Joe Santana on April 4. Rosco Caine at 9 p.m. on April 6 & 7.

Karaoke every Thur. & Sun. Live music every Tue. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22, 220-6766 Live music every Fri.

JULINGTON CREEK, NW ST. JOHNS

HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 683-1964 Live music at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. SHANNON’S IRISH PUB, 111 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-9670 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

MANDARIN

AW SHUCKS OYSTER BAR & GRILL, 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd., 240-0368 Open mic with John O’Connor from 7-10 p.m. every Wed. Cafe Groove Duo, Jay Terry & John O’Connor, from 8-11 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Sat. CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 11475 San Jose Blvd., 262-4337 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Karaoke from 9 p.m.-1 p.m. Mon.-Thur. Dennis Klee & the World’s Most Talented Waitstaff every Fri. & Sat. THE NEW ORLEANS CAFE, 12760 San Jose Blvd., 880-5155 Live music at 6 p.m. Tue., Wed., Fri.-Sun. Open mic with Biker Bob at 7:30 p.m. every Thur. Reggae with Les B. Fine at 1 p.m. every Sat. & Sun. Creekside Songwriters Showcase at 7 p.m. last Wed. every month RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing, 262-4030 Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Sun. SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE, 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16, 538-0811 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri. SUNBURST STUDIOS, 12641 San Jose Blvd., 485-0946 Open mic with My Friendz Band at 8:30 p.m. every Mon. Karaoke at 8:30 p.m. with DJ Tom Turner every Tue.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 1580 Wells Rd., 269-4855 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. & Sat. CRACKERS LOUNGE, 1282 Blanding Blvd., 272-4620

DOWNTOWN

1904, 19 Ocean St., 356-0213 Sounduo, Luma Lounge, Matt Henderson on April 4. Chroma CD release party with Braided Light Dance Project and Tastebuds at 9 p.m. on April 7 BURRO BAR, 228 E. Forsyth St., 353-4692 Shaved Christ and Future on April 4. Grandpa’s Cough Medicine and JacksonVegas on April 6. The Anatomy of Frank, Antique Animals and Shoni at 9 p.m. on April 8. DJ Tin Man spins reggae & dub every Tue. DJ SuZi-Rok spins every Thur. $Big Bucks DJ Crew$ every Sat. Bert No Shirt & Uncle Jesse every Sun. CITY HALL PUB, 234 Randolph Blvd., 356-6750 DJ Skillz spins Motown, hip hop & R&B every Wed. Jazz at 11 a.m., Latin music at 9 p.m. every first Fri.; Ol’ Skool every last Fri. DIVE BAR, 331 E. Bay St., 359-9090 Live music every weekend DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth, 354-0666 Opiate Eyes vinyl release with DJ NickFresh at 9 p.m. on April 7. DJ Synsonic spins every Tue. & Fri. DJ Rockin’ Bones spins every Wed. DJ Scandalous spins every Sat. DJ Randall Karaoke every Mon.

34 | folio weekly | APRil 3-9, 2012

Heavy Vibes: Legendary vibraphonist Roy Ayers performs on April 7 at 7 and 10 p.m. at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville. Advance tickets for each show are $21; $25 at the door. 632-5555.

Grammy-winning blues musician Chris Thomas King performs on April 7 at 10 p.m. at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach.

Musician-actor King has sold more than 10 million albums and starred as Tommy Johnson in the film “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” Tickets are $15. 247-6636.

Karaoke every Fri. & Sat. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. PARK AVENUE BILLIARDS, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Random Act from 7:30-11:30 p.m. every Mon. Bike Nite THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Live music every Thur.-Sat. DJ Jason every Tue. DJ Israel every Wed. Buck Smith Project every Mon.

PALATKA

DOWNTOWN BLUES BAR & GRILLE, 714 St. Johns Ave., (386) 325-5454 Chip Vandiver on April 4. Ranger Donnie on April 6. Knight Roxx on April 7. Local talent every Wed. Karaoke every Thur. Blues jam every Sun.

PONTE VEDRA

LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE, 301 N. Roscoe Blvd., 285-0139 Mike Shackelford & Rick Johnson from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Tony Novelly from 6-10 p.m. every Mon. PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766 Live music every Thur.-Sun. URBAN FLATS, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Darren Corlew every Tue. Soulo & Deron Baker at 6 p.m. every Wed.

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

ALPHADOG GRILL, 2782 Park St., 374-8715 Karaoke every Sat. & Mon. FLA RIDERS MOTORCYCLE CLUB, 243 S. Edgewood Ave. DJ DreOne spins every Wed. for open mic nite HJ’S BAR & GRILL, 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., 317-2783 Karaoke with DJ Ron at 8:30 p.m. every Tue. & DJ Richie at every Fri. Live music every Sat. Open mic at 8 p.m. every Wed. KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Ray & Taylor every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. LOMAX LODGE, 822 Lomax St., 634-8813 DJ Dots every Tue. Milan da Tin Man every Wed. DJ Christian every Sat. DJ Spencer every Sun. DJ Luminous every Mon. THE MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Jenni Reid, Connor Pledger, Robert Floyd, Lauren Slyman and Experiment Theory on April 6. Seeking Serenity reunion show with A Call for Kylie, Think Happy Thoughts, Stealing Vanity and Andy Jacobs on April 7.

PIZZA PALACE, 920 Margaret St., 598-1212 Jennifer Chase at 6:30 p.m. every Fri. YESTERDAYS SOCIAL CLUB, 3638 Park St., 387-0502 Rotating DJs spin for Pro Bono electronic music party from 7 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sun.

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 Brent Byrd on April 5. Grandpa’s Cough Medicine on April 6 & 7 AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 1915 A1A S., 461-0102 Fermin Spanish guitar from 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Open mic on April 3. Kyle Tichler at 6:30 p.m. on April 4. Colton McKenna at 8:30 p.m. on April 6. Smokin Joe Shaver at 8:30 p.m. on April 7 BARLEY REPUBLIC IRISH PUBLIC HOUSE, 48 Spanish St.,

547-2023 Live music Fri. & Sat. THE BRITISH PUB, 213 Anastasia Blvd., 810-5111 Karaoke with Jimmy Jamez at 9 p.m. on April 6 CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Cursive, Cymbals Eat Guitars and Conduits at 7 p.m. on April 9 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, San Sebastian Winery, 157 King St., 826-1594 The Committee at 7 p.m. on April 6. Deron Baker at 2 p.m., The Committee at 7 p.m. on April 7 CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chelsea Saddler every Sun. FLORIDA CRACKER CAFE, 81 St. George St., 829-0397 Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizard at 5:30 p.m. every Wed. HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers from 6-10 p.m. on April 11 JACK’S BARBECUE, 691 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-8100 Jim Essery at 4 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Thur.-Sat. KING’S HEAD BRITISH PUB, 6460 U.S. 1, 823-9787 Mike Sweet from 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

KOZMIC BLUZ PIZZA CAFE & ALE, 48 Spanish St., 825-4805 Live music every Fri., Sat. & Sun. MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Open jam nite with house band at 8 p.m. every Wed. Battle of the DJs with Josh Frazetta & Mardi Gras Mike every last Sun. MEEHAN’S IRISH PUB, 20 Avenida Menendez, 810-1923 Live music every Fri. & Sat. MI CASA CAFE, 69 St. George St., 824-9317 Chelsea Saddler from noon-4 p.m. every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Elizabeth Roth at noon every Sun. MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Live music at 9 p.m. on April 6 & 7. Vinny Jacobs every Tue. Todd & Molly Jones every Wed. Colton McKenna at 9 p.m. every Thur. Will Pearsall at 9 p.m. every Mon. NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 State Champion and The Dewars at 9 p.m. on April 8 SANGRIAS WINE & TAPAS Piano Bar, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Live music every Thurs.-Sun. SCARLETT O’HARA’S, 70 Hypolita St., 824-6535 Billy Bowers on April 7. Lil Blaze & DJ Alex are in for Karaoke every Mon. SIRENS, 113 Anastasia Blvd., 460-2641 Live music every Fri. DJs spin every Sat. Live music from 3-6 p.m. every Biker Sunday SPY GLOBAL CUISINE & LOUNGE, 21 Hypolita St., 819-5637 Live music every Fri.-Sun. THE TASTING ROOM, 25 Cuna St., 810-2400 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger from 5-8 p.m. every Sun. TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Hooch at 9 p.m. on April 6 & 7. Mark Hart every Mon.-Wed. Open mic every Thur. Mark Hart & Jim Carrick every Fri. Elizabeth Roth at 1 p.m., Mark Hart at 5 p.m. every Sat. Keith Godwin at 1 p.m., Wade at 5 p.m. every Sun. Matanzas at 9 p.m. Sun.Thur.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

AROMAS CIGARS & WINE BAR, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 101, 928-0515 Live jazz from 8-11 p.m. every Tue. Beer house rock every Wed. Live music every Thur. Will Hurley every Fri. Bill Rice at 9 p.m. every Sat.

BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466 Live music from 2-7 p.m. every Sun. JOHNNY ANGELS, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120, 997-9850 Harry & Sally from 7-9 p.m. every Wed. Karaoke from 7-10 p.m. every Sat. with Gimme the Mike DJs ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Jimmy Solari on April 4. Brian Ripper on April 5.

Matt Collins on April 6. Druids on April 7. Live music every Wed.-Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 997-1955 Kurt Lanham on April 4. Charlie Walker at 8 p.m. on April 5 SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Pkwy.

N., 997-1999 Bread & Butter at 10 p.m. on April 6. Chuck Nash every Thur. Live music at 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Live music from 9 p.m.-mid. every Thur. and 6-9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. URBAN FLATS, 9726 Touchton Rd., 642-1488 Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHISKY RIVER, 4850 Big Island Drive, 645-5571 A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 X-Hale on April 6. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Karaoke every Wed.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

DICK’S WINGS, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110 SunJammer Band at 7 p.m. on April 6 ENDO EXO, 1224 Kings Ave., 396-7733 DJ J-Money spins jazz, soul, R&B, house every Fri. DJ Manus spins top 40 & dance every Sat. Open mic with King Ron & T-Roy every Mon. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 399-1740 Little Jake & the Soul Searchers at 8 p.m. on April 5. Jazz every second Tue. HAVANA-JAX CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609 MVP Band from 6-9 p.m., DJs No Fame & Dr. Doom every Wed. Jazz every Thur. American Top 40 every Fri. Salsa every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Big Kettle Drum, A Fragile Tomorrow, Dirty Shannon and Randall Shreve & The Sideshow on April 5. Dr. Stone & the Rock N Roll Circus on April 7. Revengefullhate, Hollow Point Militia, Killing Ego, Dystil and Sacrifice to Survive on April 8. Rhythm of Fear, Doffis, Throw Down Rock, Rock N’ Roll Chrome and Red Seas on April 9. Go Radio, This Providence, Tyler Carter, Simple as Surgery and The Drama Summer on April 10 MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger at 7 p.m. every Thur.

PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815 Jennifer Chase at 7:30 p.m. every Sat. SQUARE ONE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 306-9004 Soul on the Square with MVP Band & Special Formula at 8 p.m.; DJ Dr. Doom at 10:30 p.m. every Mon. DJs Wes Reed & Josh Kemp spin indie dance & electro at 9 p.m. every Wed. DJs Anonymous and Mickey Shadow every Sat.

SAA

SOUTHSIDE

BOMBA’S, 8560 Beach Blvd., 997-2291 Open mic from 7-11 p.m. with Chris Hall every Tue. & every first Sun. Live music every Fri., Sat. & Sun. CORNER BISTRO & Wine Bar, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 1, 619-1931 Matt “Pianoman” Hall every Fri. & Sat. DAVE & BUSTER’S, 7025 Salisbury Rd. S., 296-1525 A DJ spins every Fri. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 5500 Beach Blvd., 399-1740 Beth McKee at 8 p.m. on April 7.

LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 DJ Mikee on April 5. Chris McCarty at 8:30 p.m., DJ Jeff Bell at 11:30 p.m. on April 6. CNergy at 8:30 p.m. on April 7

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BLUE DINER CAFE, 5868 Norwood Ave., 766-7774 Jazz from 7-9 p.m. every first Thur.

BOOTS-N-BOTTLES, 12405 N. Main St., Ste. 7, Oceanway, 647-7798 Karaoke every Tue., Thur. & Sun. with DJ Dave.

Open mic every Wed. DAMES POINT MARINA, 4518 Irving Rd., 751-3043 DJ Steve at 6 p.m. on April 5. Mr. Natural at 6 p.m. on April 6, at 5 p.m. on April 7. David Bazzell at 3 p.m. on April 8 FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4073 Live music every Fri. & Sat. ’70s every Tue. SKYLINE SPORTSBAR, 5611 Norwood Ave., 517-6973 Bigga Rankin & Cool Running DJs every Tue. & 1st Sun. Fusion Band & DJ every Thur. DJ Scar spins every Sun. THREE LAYERS CAFE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Goliath Flores at 1 p.m. on April 8 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Rd., 647-8625 Open mic every Thur. Woodie & Wyatt C. every Fri. Live music every Sat. To get your band listed here, send all the vitals — band name, time, date, location of venue, with street address, city, admission price and contact number — to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email events@folioweekly.com.

APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 35

A Screening Of “It’s Such A Beautiful Day” Is Followed By An Onstage Interview With Don Hertzfeldt Friday, April 6 at 9:15 p.m.

Sun-Ray Cinemas, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville Tickets are $10 359-0047

“Planted catnip for the neighborhood cats and within an hour it was trampled and shredded to bits. So they don’t totally destroy it, I’ve now become the idiot who chases cats away from catnip.”

— From Don Hertzfeldt’s online journal (bitterfilms.com/forum.html)

T

36 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 3-9, 2012

he above quotation might function as a snapshot of the life and work of animator Don Hertzfeldt. In his stark, mostly stick-figure films, Hertzfeldt examines the futility of our lives through characters who endure stretches of unemotional non-action punctuated by sudden spasms of ultra-violence.

A DIY guy to the extreme, Hertzfeldt is a throwback in the digital age, using pencils, chunk erasers and Sharpies to sketch and complete page after exhausting page of illustrations. All of his films are available on DVD through his own Bitter Films site (bitterfilms.com), and he maintains tight control of their distribution. He shuns the notion of producing work for commercial gain, yet, somehow, he has become an awardwinning, respected and, yes, commercially

viable animator.

Case in point: Hertzfeldt’s 17-minute epic — epic for a short film, anyway — “Everything Will Be OK” (2007). Narrated by Hertzfeldt, and the first chapter in a trilogy, “Everything Will Be OK” follows Bill, an introspective, lonely man with mental and physical health issues. His life rolls out as a series of seemingly disconnected experiences — a crazy-quilt of live-action footage and nightmarish dream sequences — that leaves the viewer strangely uneasy uneasiness about what the futility of Bill’s life says about our own.

If this seems too high-minded a concept for animation, the much-shorter “Wisdom Teeth” balances the scales with its utter absurdity.

Featured on Showtime, and clocking in at just under six minutes, “Wisdom Teeth” zeros in on Nigel, who’s recently had oral surgery. His friend, curious about his swollen mouth, asks if he can pull out one of his stitches. Nigel, reluctant at first, concedes, and his buddy begins the long and painful process of tugging a single, never-ending stitch from Nigel’s gums.

The agonizingly long stitch removal runs a full three-and-a-half minutes, all the while becoming bloodier and more difficult to watch.

The punchline, which involves the mouth-birth of a baby connected to the stitch and Nigel’s subsequent beating by a small but angry mob, is hilariously crude. Oh, and the whole thing is in German with English super-titles.

Hertzfeldt, of course, is a festival favorite.

His latest, “It’s Such a Beautiful Day,” recently

won the Best Director award at the Fargo Film Festival and the Yoram Gross Award for Best Animation at Flickerfest, Australia. “Wisdom Teeth” won a Special Jury Mention from the Fantasia Film Festival in Montreal, and “I am So Proud of You” and “Everything Will Be OK” were jointly awarded “Best Picture” at Brazil’s MUMIA Animation Festival.

Hertzfeldt has also been hired — and fired — by some reputable institutions, most notably the Family Learning Channel, which commissioned Hertzfeldt to create short promotional segments to air between programs.

The abbreviated films — abstract, odd and violent — were rejected upon review by FLC, for reasons that might be immediately clear to the uninitiated viewer (http://bit.ly/GRNjxb).

Hertzfeldt had his revenge by releasing the wonderfully sick shorts in a collection called “Rejected.” In the commentary for the collection, Hertzfeldt says, “I’ve turned down more money by refusing all real commercial work than I care to think about. You never want to lie to your audience. … You can trick them, you can disturb them, but you can never lie to them. To me, commercials are nothing but lies.”

Absent much commercial work, Hertzfeldt instead relies on his cottage industry, his hardcore fans and his own outsider sense of what art and entertainment can be to propel a surprisingly successful career. One that, at the very least, generates enough income for more Sharpies.

John E. Citrone themail@folioweekly.com

PAINT DANCING Joy Poulard presents a live paint dancing performance as Sister Feathertoe from 6:30-8 p.m. on April 4 at Museum of Contemporary Art, 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. 366-6911.

SPOKEN WORD, AMATEUR NIGHT Spoken word is held at 7 p.m. on April 5 and amateur night at 7:30 p.m. on April 6 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville. Admission for amateur night is $5.50.

632-5555.

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING University of North Florida’s Department of English presents Shakespeare’s classic comedy at 7:45 p.m. on April 6 and 7 at UNF’s Robinson Theater, Bldg. 14A, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. Tickets are $15; $5 for students. The play also runs on April 13-15. 620-2273.

ROBERT DUBAC’S MALE INTELLECT: AN OXYMORON? Dubac’s one-man comedic show addresses the battle of the sexes at 7:30 p.m. on April 10 at Wilson Center for the Arts, FSCJ South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville.

Tickets range from $31.50-$41.50. The show is staged daily through April 15. 632-3373.

FETTERHOFF FOR HIRE ABET presents a musical comedy about Harry Fetterhoff, a private eye in 1940s Hollywood, at 8 p.m. on April 5, 6 and 7 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. Tickets are $20. 249-7177.

ARSENIC AND OLD LACE Orange Park Community Theatre stages Joseph Kesselring’s classic dark comedy, about a homicidal family, at 8 p.m. on April 6 and 7 at 2900 Moody Ave., Orange Park. Tickets are $15. 276-2599.

HELLO, DOLLY! Sally Struthers stars in the classic musical comedy, about a matchmaker in turn-of-the-century Manhattan, at 8 p.m. on April 3-7, at 1:15 p.m. on April 7 and 2 p.m. on April 8 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville.

Tickets range from $42-$49. 641-1212.

JU DANCE PERFORMANCE Graduate candidates from Jacksonville University’s MFA Choreography program present original works at 12:15 p.m. on April 5 and 7:30 p.m. on April 6 at JU’s Brest Dance Pavilion, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 256-7677.

JACKSONVILLE BALLET THEATRE This community-based dance group performs Saint-Georges’ “Giselle” and other works at 7 p.m. on April 7 at University of North Florida’s Lazzara Performance Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. Tickets range from $15-$25. 727-7515. jacksonvilleballettheatre.com

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

FOLIO WEEKLY ART SHOW SEEKS SUBMISSIONS The Folio Weekly Invitational Artist Exhibit seeks submissions of original works of art (paintings, photographs, works on paper, sculptures, mixed media) from May 21-June 10.

Submit no more than three (3) pieces. Works are not to exceed 6’ tall x 4’ wide. Signed, hard copies or in-person deliveries will not be accepted. Digital images of the completed work of art, with artist information (email/mail/ phone along with title/dimensions/media/date for each piece), must be submitted to submissions@folioweekly. com. The show is held from Aug. 24-Dec. 2 at the Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens. 260-9770 ext. 128.

STORYTELLERS OPEN HOUSE The Tale Tellers of St. Augustine hold an open house for prospective members from 7-9:30 p.m. on April 9 at St. Augustine Beach City Hall, 2200 A1A S. To RSVP, call 829-8711.

ART TALK AT PONTE VEDRA LIBRARY Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens’ director Hope McMath and artist Richard Chamberlain discuss “Art and Healing — The Year of the Sheep,” which addresses Chamberlain’s exhibit of paintings currently on display at the Cummer, at 6:30 p.m. on April 10 at Ponte Vedra Beach Branch Library, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra. 285-1114, 827-6950.

WOLFSON CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL SEEKS ART Girl Scout Troop 531 and Wolfson Children’s Hospital are accepting original artwork and prints for their Rolling Artwork Library Cart. For details, email girlscouttroop531@gmail.com.

After April 20, email wchauxiliary@bmcjax.com STATE OF FLORIDA PUBLIC ART The 2012 Florida Public Art Year in Review accepts submissions through April 18 for the inaugural juried event.

For details and to submit work, go to callforentry.org JAX JAZZ COMPETITION SEEKS PIANISTS The Jacksonville Jazz Piano Competition accepts CD submissions for possible inclusion in this year’s competition, to be held on May 24 at The Florida Theatre. For details and guidelines, visit jaxjazzfest.com LATIN & BALLROOM DANCING LESSONS Boleros Dance Center features a dance class at 7 p.m. on April 4 and every Wed. at 10131 Atlantic Blvd., Jacksonville.

Class fee for the seven-week course is $130. 228-9931.

THEATRICAL ARTS Classes in theatrical performance, including song and dance, are held Mon.-Fri. at The Performers Academy,

3674 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Fees vary. 322-7672. theperformersacademy.com DANCE CLASSES The Dance Shack offers classes in several styles for all ages and skill levels every Mon.-Fri. at 3837 Southside Blvd., Jacksonville. 527-8694. thedanceshack.com MURRAY HILL ART CLASSES Six-week art classes for adults and children are held at The Murray Hill Art Center, 4327 Kerle St., Jacksonville. Adult classes are $80; $50 for children’s classes. 677-2787. artsjax.org

Jensen Hande

PERFORMANCE

CLASSICAL & JAZZ

NAVY JAZZ BAND The nine-piece Navy Band Southeast’s VIP Combo performs at 6 p.m. on April 3 at Clay County Headquarters Library, 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island. 278-3722.

RITZ CHAMBER PLAYERS The Ritz Chamber Players present “The Sacred and the Sacrilegious” featuring works by Bach, Handel, Szalowski and Mendelssohn, as well as the premiere of “Night Visions of Kippur” by James Lee III, at 7:30 p.m. on April 4 at the T-U Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $20; $5 for students.

354-5547.

GLENN MILLER ORCHESTRA This legendary big band performs at 7:30 p.m. on April 5 at Wilson Center for the Arts, FSCJ South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $38.50. 632-3373.

JU CHAMBER ENSEMBLES Students from the music department perform a variety of chamber works at 7:30 p.m. on April 5 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 256-7677.

STUDENT RECITALS AT JU Student recitals are held at 5:30 and 7:30 p.m. on April 7 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N. 256-7677.

BRAZILIAN MUSIC The Whitney Laboratory for Marine Bioscience presents a performance by the ensemble Jacaré Brazil at 7 p.m. on April 7 at 9505 Ocean Shore Blvd., St. Augustine. Tickets are $10.

(386) 447-1662, 461-4000.

ROY AYERS Legendary vibraphonist Ayers appears at 7 and 10 p.m. on April 7 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville. Advance tickets for each show are $21; $25 at the door. 632-5555.

PIANO RECITAL Pianist Julian Toha performs works by Villa Lobos and Scriabin at 10:45 a.m. on April 8 at Unitarian Universalist Church, 7405 Arlington Expressway, Jacksonville. 725-8133.

BORROMEO STRING QUARTET This acclaimed ensemble plays at 7:30 p.m. on April 9 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. 620-2878.

PICTURES AT AN EXHIBITION Jacksonville University piano students perform Mussorgsky’s classic work at 7:30 p.m. on April 10 at JU’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 256-7677.

JAZZ ON THE SOUTHSIDE The Jazzland Café features live music every Thur. from 6-9 p.m. and every Fri. and Sat. at 8 p.m. at 1324 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 249-1009.

JAZZ IN RIVERSIDE Live jazz is featured at 7 p.m. every Thur. at Kickbacks Gastropub, 910 King St., Jacksonville.

388-9551.

JAZZ AT TREE STEAKHOUSE Boril Ivanov Trio plays at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum plays at 7 p.m. every Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville.

262-0006.

JAZZ AT GENNARO’S Live jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Gennaro’s Ristorante Italiano, 5472 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach. 491-1999.

JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Live jazz nightly at 7 p.m. at Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie, 66 Hypolita St. 825-0502.

ART WALKS & FESTIVALS

FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK This self-guided tour, themed “Artsy Ambitions,” is held from 5-9 p.m. on April 4 in downtown Jacksonville, spanning a 15-block radius of galleries, museums, bars and eateries.

634-0303 ext. 230.

FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK This self-guided tour features 25 participating galleries from 5-9 p.m. on April 6 in downtown St. Augustine. 829-0065.

MID-WEEK MARKET Arts & crafts, local produce and live music are featured every Wed. from 3-6 p.m. at Bull Memorial Park, corner of East Coast Drive and Seventh Street, Atlantic Beach. 247-5800.

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts & crafts and local produce are offered every Fri. from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive. 353-1188.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET The Arts Market is held from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. beneath the Fuller Warren Bridge on Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville and features local and regional artists, strolling performers, bands and

The Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens’ Up & Cummers presents the tattoo-themed event “What is Art? Art is Inked!” on April 10 from 6:30-9:30 p.m. at 829 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville. The event showcases the work of local tattoo artists including Gary Doyle (Gary Royal), Tim Herbert and Graham Wilbraham (8th Day Tattoo), Aaron Murray (A Fu-kein Good Tattoo) and Jimmy Thiel (Jimmy’z Ink). Tickets are $25; $15 for members. 356-6857. a farmers market. Admission is free. 554-6865, 389-2449. riversideartsmarket.com

MUSEUMS

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. An artist talk with Marcella Matthaei, focusing on the work of Diane Arbus, is held at 7 p.m. on April 4. “Form and Figure,” featuring sculpture by Enzo Torcoletti and Joe Segal, is on display through April 13.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville, 356-6857. The tattoothemed event “What is Art? Art is Inked!” is held from 6:30-9:30 p.m. on April 10 and features work by local tattoo artists. Tickets are $25; $15 for members. “Impressionism and Post Impressionism from the High Museum of Art” is on display through May 6. “Richard Chamberlain: The Year of the Sheep” is displayed through July 8. “Beyond Ukiyo-e: Japanese Woodblock Prints and their influence on Western Art” runs through Aug. 9. “50 Forward: New Additions to the Permanent Collection” is on display through Aug. 15.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Jacksonville, 356-2992. New works in watercolor and oil by Leigh Murphy are on display through April 27. “Civil War: The Beginning,” an exhibit of original letters and documents, is displayed through April 25. The permanent collection includes rare manuscripts. Open Tue.Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sat. from 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 366-6911. Sister Feathertoe is featured in a live paint dancing performance from 6:30-8 p.m. on April 4. The exhibit “Rainbow Artists,” featuring work created by autistic children from MOCA’s Rainbow Artists program, is featured through May 27. “Project Atrium: Mark Licari” runs through July 8. The exhibit “ReFocus: Art of the 1960s” runs through April 8. mocajacksonville.org RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville, 632-5555. Roy Ayers performs at 7 and 10 p.m. on April 7. Advance tickets for each show are $12; $25 at the door. An exhibit celebrating local African-American athletes and sports figures, “More Than a Game: African-American Sports in Jacksonville, 1900-1975,” is currently on display. Admission is $8 for adults, $5 for children, students and seniors. Open Tue.-Sun.

GALLERIES

233 WEST KING 233 W. King St., St. Augustine, 910-8925. The opening reception for the exhibit “Bug Shots,” featuring the wildlife photography of Frank Berna, is held from 5-9 p.m. on April 6.

ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 N. University Blvd., 256-7371.

The opening reception for the BFA Thesis Exhibition is held from 5-7 p.m. on April 5. The show runs through May 2.

THE ART CENTER PREMIERE GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. The environmentally themed exhibit “Trees” is displayed through April 12.

CAMPUS GALLERY FSCJ North Campus, 4501 Capper Road, Jacksonville, 632-3310. The Jacksonville Watercolor Society Spring Show is featured through April 27.

DOUGLAS ANDERSON SCHOOL OF THE ARTS 2445 San Diego Road, Jacksonville, 346-5620. The exhibit “Rising Stars,” featuring recent works by visual arts students, runs through April 13.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The opening reception for the exhibit “Wild Florida,” featuring works by wildlife photographer Michael Cenci, is held from 7-9 p.m. on April 6. The show is displayed April 4-May 14.

FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Road, Jacksonville. 535-7252. The show “Triple Threat,” featuring works by Matt Hebermehl, Michael Porten and Troy Wandzel, is shown through April 27.

JAXPORT GALLERY 2831 Talleyrand Ave., Jacksonville, 357-3052. Painter Jack Allen’s exhibit “Belts” is on display through April 6.

P.A.ST.A FINE ARTS GALLERY 214 Charlotte St., St. Augustine, 824-0251. The opening reception for an exhibit of recent pen-and-ink drawings by Joseph Calabria is held from 5-9 p.m. on April 6.

PLUM GALLERY 9 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069. The opening reception for the exhibit “Spring Show,” featuring works by Angelika S. Luginbuhl, John Beard, Rebecca Mutz, Susanna RichterHelman and Karen Sheridan, is held from 5-9 p.m. on April 6.

ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. The exhibit “Regional Artists from the Tail End of St. Johns County,” featuring works by A.E. (Beanie) Backus, Joe Taylor, Charles Dickinson and Eddie White, is featured through May 6.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 6 E. Bay St., Jacksonville, 553-6361. The gallery celebrates First Wednesday Art Walk from 5-9 p.m. on April 4. A live portrait painting demonstration by Tony Wood is featured at 7 p.m.

SPACE:EIGHT GALLERY 228 W. King St., St. Augustine, 829-2838. The opening reception for Mitch O’Connell’s exhibit “Good Times” is held from 5-11 p.m. on April 6. The show is displayed through May 30.

STUDIO 121 121 W. Forsyth St., Ste. 100, Jacksonville, 292-9303.

Mixed-media work by Mary Doppel is featured from 5-9 p.m. on April 4.

THREE LAYERS CAFÉ 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville, 355-9791. The exhibit “Magpie: A Photographic This and That,” featuring new works by photographer Jennifer Grey, is on display through April 20.

WATERWHEEL ART GALLERY 819 S. Eighth St., Fernandina Beach, 261-2535. An exhibit of recent paintings by Millie Martin is featured through April.

W.B. TATTER STUDIO GALLERY 76 A San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 823-9263. The latest Steampunk work by sculptor Jim Smith is on display through April.

For a complete list of galleries, log on to folioweekly.com.

To list your event, send info – time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print – to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email dbrown@folioweekly.com. Events are included on a space-available basis.

APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 37

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38 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 3-9, 2012

Artist Mitch O’Connell helps kitsch claim its rightful artistic throne

I

f you are ever looking for Mitch O’Connell, likely to find him at the toniest of Salesyou’re Rep asdb art galleries as at the funkiest tattoo parlor. The Chicago-based artist-illustrator is known for inventive, eye-grabbing work that harnesses the past half-century of graphic design, kitsch, underground art and straight-up advertising and distributes the results on award-winning canvases. His humorous style has been featured in a series of books like “Good Taste Gone Bad” and “Pwease Wuv Me,” and hundreds of popular tattoo “flash” pieces. O’Connell’s work has also been seen in pop media outlets including The New York Times, Playboy and The New Yorker, and featured in big budget spots for the likes of Coca Cola and Kellogg’s.

Yet O’Connell, 49, remains a card-carrying member of the American underground arts scene, with his work traveling in that same Technicolor galaxy orbited by the big-eyed waifs of the Keane paintings, 1960s psychedelic poster art and the liberated graphic design work that’s being forged in the fires of the early 21st century.

O’Connell returns to Northeast Florida for his show opening this week at St. Augustine’s space:eight gallery. “Good Times” features 10 original mixed-media pieces and about as many giclée prints. O’Connell spoke to Folio 2012Weekly from his home in Chicago about comics, commerce and when it’s a good idea to button your lip.

FolioWeekly

Folio Weekly: How did you get pulled into this vortex of such bizarre imagery?

Mitch O’Connell: I think I’ve just always been drawn to these images that you would look at and say, “God, this is just crazy.” Especially what people consider kitsch and tacky, tasteless art is actually fascinating stuff. I’m sure it would require a lot more study for me to appreciate the finer things in life. But when you see something that has been covered in rhinestones from a “Bedazzler” machine, you know that it’s tacky. You don’t have to think too hard about it.

Maybe I’m just taking the short cut, like “white shag rug equals funny.”

F.W.: Did you originally study traditional art and just have a complete mental meltdown?

M.O.: I always wanted to draw comics when I was a kid and I eventually got a smattering of work doing comics. I started doing advertising when I was 20 or so and I realized that it paid a lot more. You could do a page of comic book art back then and get $100 and the same amount of work would pay $500 for an advertisement. And while there are probably more people reading comics, I don’t think that the comics’ pay scale has increased since 1982. [Laughs.] I love all aspects of art: commercial art, sign art, getting my art printed.

I love getting checks [Laughs.] and I also love creating whatever is in my head. My career has really been just straddling every aspect of making a living while also producing these images from my head.

F.W.: You have an interesting and disparate list of advertising clients ranging from The New York Times to Rolling Stone to, most impressively, Juggs.

M.O.: [Laughs.] Yeah, well, the Juggs thing came about from me thinking, “What is the funniest thing I could put on my résumé?”

And I thought, “There is literally no funnier magazine than Juggs.” So I actually sent my work to them and they said, “Sure.” So I had three drawings printed in Juggs.

F.W.: What do you think these art directors see in your work that can encompass such a vast array of styles?

M.O.: [Pauses.] I haven’t analyzed why they call me. I just say “Thank you” and “Yes.” I’m afraid if I start talking them through it, they might say, “Hmmm. Why am I calling Mitch O’Connell?” [Laughs.]

Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

The opening reception for Mitch O’Connell’s exhibit “Good Times” is held on Friday, April 6 from 5-11 p.m. at space:eight gallery, 228 W. King St., St. Augustine. The show is displayed through May 30. 829-2838.

EVENTS

GOLDENFEST 2012 The ninth annual fest for golden retrievers and their owners is on April 7 from 2-4 p.m. at Dogwood Park, 7407 Salisbury Rd., Southside. Admission is $15 per family. Proceeds benefit G.R.E.A.T. Rescue of NEFlorida. A silent auction and pet activities are featured. 501-6899. greatrescue.org FLORIDA FORUM LECTURE SERIES The series concludes with former Secretary of State and author Dr. Condoleezza Rice at 7 p.m. on April 4 at the TimesUnion Center, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Proceeds benefit the Freeman Behavioral Health Center at Wolfson Children’s Hospital. For tickets, call 202-2886. thefloridaforum.com JAX BEER WEEK GRAND TASTING Celebrate local craft beers from 3-7 p.m. on April 7 at Mellow Mushroom, 9734 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, Southside. Beers from Intuition Ale Works, Green Room Brewing, Mile Marker Brewing, Bold City Brewery, Swamp Head Brewery and Cowford Ale Sharing Klub are available. Tickets are $30, which includes unlimited beer samples, a Jax Beer Week T-shirt, a koozie, a half-pint glass and Mellow Mushroom snacks. Grandpa’s Cough Medicine performs. Proceeds benefit the daniel Foundation. 997-1955. beerweekjax.com SOUNDS ON CENTRE The Historic Fernandina Business Association presents a free community concert, featuring Orlino Esguerra, from 6-8 p.m. on April 6 and every first Fri. of the month in downtown Fernandina Beach, between Second and Front streets. Bring a chair. 227-0717. ameliaisland.com HISTORICAL MARKER UNVEILED St. Augustine Archaeological Association unveils a historical marker at 5:30 p.m. on April 6 at Los Remedios on Aviles Street, the site of the first parish church in St. Augustine.

Admission is free. 471-1870.

BOARDWALK BASH The Boardwalk Bash is held from 5-8 p.m. on April 6 and every Fri. through Aug. 31 at The Spa & Shops at Omni Amelia Island Plantation on Amelia Island. 432-2202. omniameliaislandplantation.com COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES The Flagler College Community Lecture Series “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Glory: An Interdisciplinary Evaluation of War” presents Tracey Eaton at 10 a.m. on April 10 in the college’s Flagler Room, 74 King St., St. Augustine. Eaton discusses “Afghanistan: Pursuing the Taliban.” Tickets are $5. Active military personnel may attend at no charge. For reservations, call 819-6282. flagler.edu COSMIC CONCERTS Laser shows include Laser Pink Floyd: The Wall at 7 p.m., Laser Pink Floyd: Wish You Were Here at 8 p.m., Laser Pink Floyd: Dark Side of the Moon at 9 p.m. and Laser Pink Floyd: The Best of “The Wall” at 10 p.m. on April 6 in Bryan-Gooding Planetarium, at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Online tickets are $5. 396-7062. moshplanetarium.org LINCOLNVILLE FARMERS’ MARKET The weekly market, held from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. every Sun. at 399 Riberia St., St. Augustine, offers local and organic produce, baked goods, coffees, cheeses, prepared foods, crafts and jewelry at the south end of Lincolnville in Eddie Vickers Park. There’s a community garden, too. lincolnvillefarmersmarket.com FERNANDINA FARMERS MARKET Farm-direct produce is offered from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. on April 7 and every Sat. through

June 30 (except May 5) at the market, on the corner of Centre and Seventh streets, Fernandina Beach. Organic products, specialty foods, gourmet baked goods, jellies, relishes and marinades, and plants, including orchids, herbs and garden flowers are featured. fernandinafarmersmarket.com OLD CITY FARMERS MARKET Fresh produce, baked goods, plants, fresh seafood and even banjo pickers are on hand every weekend at the St. Augustine Amphitheater on A1A South in St. Augustine from 8:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. every Sat. Admission is free. staugustinefm.com ARCHAEOLOGICAL LECTURE St. Augustine Archaeological Association and the Florida Public Archaeology Network present Phyllis Kolianos at 7 p.m. on April 3 in Flagler College’s Flagler Room, 74 King St., St. Augustine. Kolianos discusses “Cushing in Florida.” Admission is free. 471-1870.

POLITICS, BUSINESS & ACTIVISM

AIFBY CHAMBER Island Council meets at 8:30 a.m. on April 4 at Amelia Island Montessori School, 1423 Julia St., Fernandina Beach. Admission is free. Yulee Area Council meets at 8:30 a.m. on April 10 at Chick-fil-A, 464004 S.R. 200, Yulee. info@ aifby.com SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB U.S. Congressman Ander Crenshaw is the featured speaker at 11:30 a.m. on April 4 at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. Duval County Judge candidate Michelle Kalil is also on hand. Admission is $20. For reservations, call 396-5559.

PEOPLE’S LAW SCHOOL St. Johns Legal Aid staff hold a free seminar, “Rights of a Debtor,” at 4 p.m. on April 3 at Southeast Branch Library, 6670 U.S. 1 S., St. Augustine.

827-9921.

UNF SMALL BUSINESS CLASS Acquisition Conference & Trade Show is held from 8 a.m.-4 p.m. on April 12 at Small Business Development Center at University of North Florida, 12000 Alumni Dr., Jacksonville. 620-2476. sbdc.unf.edu FRIENDS OF STUDY CIRCLES This recently formed nonprofit board’s inaugural kick-off meeting is held at 6:30 p.m. on April 10 at Unitarian Universalist Church, 7405 Arlington Expressway, Jacksonville. The film “Bullied: a student, a school and a case that made history,” is shown and then discussed. Admission is free. 923-6468.

JACKSONVILLE JOURNEY The oversight committee of this crime-fighting initiative meets at 4 p.m. on April 19 in Eighth Floor Conference Room 851, Ed Ball Building, 214 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville. 630-7306.

LEGAL AID FREE CLINICS Jacksonville Area Legal Aid offers free clinics (no appointment needed) at 126 W. Adams St., Jacksonville. Topics are: Bankruptcy at 5 p.m. on the first Thur. each month; Consumer Rights at 5 p.m. on third Wed.; Emancipation at 5 p.m. on the first Wed.; Child Support Modification at 5:30 p.m. on the second Thur. of each month; Dissolution of Marriage at 5:30 p.m. on the fourth Thur. of each month; Foreclosure and Home Ownership clinic at 5 p.m. on the second Wed. of the month; Custody/Timesharing/ Paternity at 5:30 p.m. on the third Tue. of the month. Small Claims Court at 5:30 p.m. on the second Tue. of each month at Duval County Courthouse, 330 E. Bay St., Room 505, Jacksonville. In Nassau County, a Consumer Law Clinic is offered at the Nassau County Courthouse in Yulee. A sign-up is required; call (904) 356-8371, ext. 307. jaxlegalaid.org

BOOKS & WRITING

SISTERS IN CRIME The Florida Sisters in Crime get together from 10:30 a.m.-noon on April 7 at Southeast Regional Library, 10599 Deerwood Park Blvd., Jacksonville. Author Marie Vernon (“Graceland Express”) is the featured speaker.

Admission is free. floridasistersincrime.com WRITERS CRITIQUE GROUP The group meets from 6-8:30 p.m. on the first Tue. each month at Mandarin Library, 3330 Kori Road, Jacksonville. Admission is free. 428-4681. cdspublicity.com

COMEDY

The Florida Forum Lecture Series concludes with former Secretary of State and author Dr. Condoleezza Rice at 7 p.m. on April 4 at the Times-Union Center, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Proceeds benefit Freeman Behavioral Health Center at Wolfson Children’s Hospital.

For tickets, call 202-2886. thefloridaforum.com

JAMES GREGORY Allstars at 8 p.m. on April 3 and 4. James Gregory appears at 8 p.m. on April 5, 9 p.m. on April 6 and at 7 and 9 p.m. on April 7 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, Ramada Inn, Jacksonville. Tickets are $20 and $22. The Wayans Brothers appear April 12, 13 and 14. 292-4242.

SQUARE ONE STANDUP Moses West and Herman Nazworth host standup and spoken word at 9 p.m. every Tue. at Square One, 1974 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. 306-9004.

JACKIE KNIGHT’S COMEDY CLUB Johnny Mac and Kelly Heatwole appear at 8:30 p.m. on April 6 and 7 at 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine. Tickets are $8 and $12.

461-8843.

UPCOMING

BEN FOLDS WITH JAX SYMPHONY April 14, T-U Center JAX ROLLER GIRLS DOUBLEHEADER April 21, UNF Arena

Get a jump on the Easter Bunny! The Jacksonville Zoo & Gardens holds a Rabbit Romp Egg Hunt on April 7 from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Zoo, 370 Zoo Parkway, Jacksonville. Live animal encounters, a visit from Jazoo, the Zoo’s friendly lion mascot, as well as a visit from Jazoo’s friend, Hoppy the rabbit, are featured. Visit jacksonvillezoo.org for a schedule.

SLOW FOOD FIRST COAST TOUR DE FARM April 22 BILL COSBY April 29, T-U Center’s Moran Theater RIVER CITY CHALLENGE May 5, Downtown Jacksonville THE PLAYERS CHAMPIONSHIP May 5-13, TPC Sawgrass SLASH May 9, The Florida Theatre WILCO May 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

NATURE, SPORTS, OUTDOORS

FAMILY ESTUARY SEINING GTM Research Reserve offers this program from 10 a.m.-noon on April 3 at Environmental Education Center, 505 Guana River Road, Ponte Vedra.

Wear closed-toe shoes. For reservations, call 823-4500. A brown bag lunch lecture is held from noon-1 p.m. on April 6. Naturalists Zach McKenna and Angie Golubovich, and environmental filmmaker and author Hardy Jones, discuss local wildlife. Reservations are required; call 823-4500.

JACKSONVILLE SUNS The local Southern League team kicks off their season opener homestand against the Huntsville Stars at 7:05 p.m. on April 5 at the Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. The Suns play the Stars at 7:05 p.m. on April 6, at 6:05 p.m. on April 7, 3:05 p.m. on April 8 and at 12:05 p.m. on April 9. The Chattanooga Lookouts are up next, at 7:05 p.m. on April 10 and 13. Tickets are $7.50$22.50. 358-2846. jaxsuns.com MASTERS WEEKEND Masters Weekend is held April 5-8 at World Golf Hall of Fame, off I-95 at exit 323, St. Augustine. A scavenger hunt and photo ops with the trophy are featured.

The golf tournament broadcast is shown throughout the Hall of Fame museum during the week. On April 7, the IMAX Theater hosts a free Masters viewing party from 3:307 p.m. Regular museum admission applies. 940-4000.

WorldGolfHallofFame.org FT. CLINCH UNION GARRISON Living history interpreters recreate Civil War life on April 7 and 8 at Ft. Clinch State Park, 2601 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach. Artillery demos, marching drills and everyday chores are featured. 277-7274. floridastateparks.org/fortclinch NATURE HIKE A park ranger leads a hike to discover the island’s natural communities at 2 p.m. on April 7 at Ribault Club, Ft. George Island Cultural State Park, 11241 Ft. George Road, Ft. George Island. Admission is free. Bring bug spray and bottled water. 251-2323. floridastateparks.org/ littletalbotisland LEARN TO ROW Jacksonville Rowing Club offers classes in sweep rowing starting on May 5 at 9 a.m. on Sat. and Sun. No experience or equipment is necessary. Adult memberships and youth programs available. 304-8500. jaxrow.org PING PONG TOURNAMENT A ping-pong tournament is held at 7 p.m. every Tue. at Green Room Brewing, 228 Third St. N., Jax Beach. 201-9283.

SIERRA CLUB Eric Bersinger and Josh Woods are the featured speakers at 6:30 p.m. on April 9 at Lakewood Presbyterian Church, 2001 University Blvd. W., Jacksonville.

Bersinger’s and Woods’ volunteer efforts have helped restore the once-trash-strewn Durbin Creek to its original beauty.

Admission is free. Bring your own cup to reduce waste in the landfill. 247-1876.

COMMUNITY INTEREST

UNITED WAY COMMUNITY CHAMPIONS United Way honors its Community Champions with a breakfast and program from 7:30-9 a.m. on April 4 at Omni Jacksonville, 245 Water St., downtown. 390-3260. uwnefl.org GOOD FRIDAY SERVICES A Stations of the Cross especially for children (appropriate for ages 5 and older) is held from 10-11 a.m. on April 6 at St. John’s Episcopal Cathedral, 256 E. Church St., Jacksonville. 356-5507. jaxcathedral.org FREE COMMUNITY SHRED A mobile shred truck is onsite from 9 a.m.-noon on April 7 at 258 Solana Road, Ponte Vedra.

Donated proceeds benefit P.V.H.S. Booster Club. Limit 50 boxes per person. 421-3888. shreddingsourcefl.com

KIDS

RABBIT ROMP EGG HUNT The Jacksonville Zoo & Gardens holds a Rabbit Romp Egg Hunt from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. on April 7 at the Zoo, 370 Zoo Parkway, Jacksonville. Live animal encounters, Jazoo the lion mascot, as well as a visit from Jazoo’s friend, Hoppy the rabbit, are featured. Visit jacksonvillezoo.org for a schedule.

ST. JOHNS COUNTY LIBRARY PROGRAMS Storytimes for babies and toddlers are every Tue. at Anastasia Island Branch Library, 124 Sea Grove Main St., St. Augustine, 209-3730.

Teen Lounge is at 4 p.m. on April 5. An interactive reptile show is at 10 a.m. on April 5 at Bartram Trail, 60 Davis Pond Blvd., Fruit Cove, 827-6960. An ACT prep class is at 5 p.m., an SAT prep class is at 6:30 p.m. on April 9. To sign up, email folbtl@gmail.com. Go Bananas for Books party is at 6 p.m. on April 9 at Main Library, 1960 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine, 827-6940. Banana snacks, games, crafts, and a visit with Curious George are featured. Teen Gaming Night is held at 5 p.m. on April 4 at Ponte Vedra Branch, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra, 827-6950.

CLASSES & GROUPS

VEGETABLE CROPS WORKSHOP Duval County Extension Office/UF IFAS holds a workshop on Producing Vegetable Crops at 6 p.m. on April 5 at the Extension Office, 1010 N. McDuff Ave., Jacksonville. Integrated pest management and organic production principles are discussed. Workshop fee is $5. A hands-on Beekeeping as a Hobby workshop, for beginners, is held from 8:15 a.m.-12:45 p.m. on April 7, at a fee of $10. To register, call 255-7450.

BUDDHIST CENTER “Practicing Contentment in Difficult Times” workshop is at 10 a.m. on April 7 at Discovery Yoga, 3 Davis St., St. Augustine, 222-8531. Fee is $35; $20 students.

Prayers for World Peace is from 10-11:30 a.m. every Sun. at Maitreya Kadampa Buddhist Center, 85 Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach. Meditation is held at 7 p.m. every Mon. Chanted prayers and meditations are at 7 p.m. every Wed. 222-8531.

Meditation and Practical Buddhist Teaching is at 6:30 p.m. every Mon. at Discovery Yoga. Fee is $9; $5 for students.

Meditations for Relaxation and Healing is at 12:15 p.m. every Wed. at The Elements, 12795 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville, 619-1587. Fee is $5. MeditationInJacksonville.org NAMI SUPPORT GROUP National Alliance on Mental Illness group meets from 7-8:30 p.m. every first and third Thur. each month at Ortega United Methodist Church, 4807 Roosevelt Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is free. 389-5556. ortegaumc.org DEPRESSION BIPOLAR SUPPORT GROUP The DBSA support group meets from 5:30-7 p.m. every Wed. at River Point Behavioral Health’s Outpatient Building, 6300 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. 343-6511 or 964-9743.

Q-GROUP ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS This free, open discussion is held at 5:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri. at Quality Life Center, 11265 Alumni Way, Jacksonville. alcoholicanonymous.org DEPRESSION AND BIPOLAR SUPPORT ALLIANCE This support group meets from 6-7:30 p.m. every Tue. at Baptist Medical Center, 800 Prudential Drive, Jacksonville. For more information, call 616-6264 or 294-5720.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Do you have a drug problem?

Maybe they can help. 358-6262, 723-5683. serenitycoastna. org, firstcoastna.org NICOTINE ANONYMOUS (NIC-A) Want to quit smoking or using other forms of nicotine? Nic-A is free, and you don’t have to quit to attend the meetings, held at 6:30 p.m. every Wed. at Trinity Lutheran Church, 1415 S. McDuff Ave., Westside. 404-6044. nicotineanonymous.org NAR-A-NON This group meets at 8 p.m. every Tue. and Thur. at 4172 Shirley Ave., Avondale. 945-7168.

To get your event here, email time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to events@folioweekly.com.

APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 39

DINING GUIDE KEY

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

(In Fernandina Beach unless otherwise noted.)

THE BEECH STREET GRILL Fine dining in a casual atmosphere. The menu includes fresh local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes created with a variety of ethnic influences.

Award-winning wine list. FB. L, Wed.-Fri.; D, nightly; Sun. brunch. 801 Beech St. 277-3662. $$$ BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ F At the foot of Centre Street, the upscale restaurant overlooks the Harbor Marina. The menu includes daily specials, fresh Florida seafood and an extensive wine list. FB. L & D, daily. 1 S. Front St. 261-2660. $$$ BRIGHT MORNINGS The small café offers freshly baked goods. B & L daily. 105 S. Third St. 491-1771. $$ CAFÉ 4750 At the Italian kitchen and wine bar, Chef de Cuisine Garrett Gooch offers roasted sea bass, frutti di mare soup, clam linguini, panatela bruschetta and fresh gelatos. Dine indoors or on the terrace. FB. B, L & D, daily. The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$$ CAFÉ KARIBO F Eclectic cuisine, served under the oaks in historic Fernandina, features sandwiches and chef’s specials.

Alfresco dining. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sat.; L, Sun. & Mon. 27 N. Third St. 277-5269. $$ CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY F European-style breads, pastries, croissants, muffins and pies baked daily. 1014 Atlantic Ave. 491-4663. $ EIGHT Contemporary sports lounge offers burgers, sandwiches, wings and nachos. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Fri. & Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island.

277-1100. $$ FERNANDELI F Classics with a Southern touch, like a onethird-pound devil dog, Reubens and pulled pork. Sandwiches and wraps built to order from fresh cold cuts, tuna, egg and turkey salads. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 17B S. Eighth St. 261-0008. $ GENNARO’S RISTORANTE ITALIANO F Southern Italian cuisine: pasta, gourmet ravioli, hand-tossed pizzas. Specialties are margharita pizza and shrimp feast. Bread is baked on-site.

CM, BW. L & D, daily. 5472 First Coast Highway, Amelia Island, 491-1999. $$ HALFTIME SPORTS BAR & GRILL F Sports bar fare includes onion rings, spring rolls, burgers, wraps and wings. Plenty of TVs show nearly every sport imaginable. BW. L & D, daily. 320 S. Eighth St. 321-0303. $ HAPPY TOMATO COURTYARD CAFE & BBQ Pulled pork sandwich, chicken salad and walnut chocolate chunk cookie, served in a laid-back atmosphere. BW. CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 7 S. Third St. 321-0707. $$ JACK & DIANE’S F Casual cafe offers steak & eggs, pancakes, Cajun scampi, etouffée, curry pizza, vegan black bean cakes, shrimp & grits, hand-carved steaks. FB. B, L & D, daily. 708 Centre St. 321-1444. $$ JOE’S 2ND STREET BISTRO Elegant island atmosphere. NY strip steak with sauces, Maine crab cakes, seafood fricassee and roast chicken penne pasta. BW. CM. D, nightly. 14 S. Second St. 321-2558. $$$ KABUKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Teppanyaki masters create your meal; plus a 37-item sushi bar. BW. D, Tue.-Sun. Amelia Plaza. 277-8782. $$ KELLEY’S COURTYARD CAFE F She crab soup, salads, fried green tomatoes, sandwiches and wraps are served indoors or out on the patio. Vegetarian dishes are also offered. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 19 S. Third St. 432-8213. $ LULU’S AT THE THOMPSON HOUSE F An innovative lunch menu includes po’boys and seafood “little plates” served in a historic house. Dinner features fresh local seafood. Nightly specials. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations recommended. 11 S. Seventh St. 432-8394. $$ MONTEGO BAY COFFEE CAFE Locally owned and operated, with specialty coffees, fruit smoothies. Dine in or hit the drivethru. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 463363 S.R. 200, Yulee. 225-3600. $ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Northernstyle pizza by the pie or the slice. Choose from more than 20 toppings. Owner-selected wines and a large beer selection.

BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 925 S. 14th St. 321-3400. $ THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE Organic eatery, juice bar. Extensive menu features vegetarian, vegan items. Daily specials: local seafood, free-range chicken, fresh organic produce. CM. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 833 TJ Courson Rd. 277-3141. $$ O’KANE’S IRISH PUB F Rustic, genuine Irish pub up front, eatery in back, featuring daily specials, fish-n-chips, and soups served in a sourdough bread bowl. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sun. 318 Centre St. 261-1000. $$ PEPPER’S MEXICAN GRILL & CANTINA F The family restaurant offers authentic Mexican cuisine. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 272-2011. $$ PICANTE GRILL ROTISSERIE BAR F Flavors of Peru and

40 | folio weekly | APRil 3-9, 2012

Walter Coker

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer, Wine FB = Full Bar CM = Children’s Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast L = Lunch D = Dinner F = Folio Weekly distribution point Send changes to mdryden@folioweekly.com

Latin America are in the dishes served in a modern atmosphere. Authentic Peruvian cebiche and homestyle empanadas. BW, CM, TO. L & D tue sat. 464073 S.R. 200, Ste. 2, Yulee. 310-9222. $$ PLAE *Bite Club Certified! In Omni Amelia Island Plantation’s Spa & Shops, the cozy venue offers an innovative and PLAEful dining experience. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, nightly. 277-2132. $$$ SALT, THE GRILL Best of Jax 2011 winner.

Elegant dining featuring local seafood and produce, served in a contemporary coastal setting. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island.

491-6746. $$$$ SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL F Oceanfront dining; local seafood, shrimp, crab cakes, outdoor beachfront tiki & raw bar, covered deck and kids’ playground. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 277-6652. $$ THE SURF F Dine inside or on the large oceanview deck. Steaks, fresh fish, shrimp, nightly specials. Late-night menu. FB. L & D, daily. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 261-5711. $$ TASTY’S FRESH BURGERS & FRIES F The name pretty much says it all. Tasty’s offers burgers (Angus beef, turkey or veggie) and fries (like cheese fries, sweet potato fries), along with dogs, shakes, floats and soup.

L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, BW. 710 Centre St. 321-0409. $ T-RAY’S BURGER STATION F A favorite local spot; Best of Jax 2011 winner. Grilled or blackened fish sandwiches, homemade burgers. BW, TO. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 202 S. Eighth St. 261-6310. $ 29 SOUTH EATS F Part of historic Fernandina Beach’s downtown scene.

Award-winning Chef Scotty serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 29 S. Third St. 277-7919. $$

Certified organic coffees are roasted and fresh-brewed daily, along with local pastries, craft brews and wines, at Bold Bean Coffee Roasters on Stockton Street in Riverside.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

EAST COAST BUFFET F A 160+ item Chinese, Japanese, American and Italian buffet. Dine in, take out. FB. L & D, Mon.Sat.; Sun. brunch. 9569 Regency Sq. Blvd. N. 726-9888. $$ KABUTO JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR Steak & shrimp, filet mignon & lobster, shrimp & scallops, a sushi bar, teppanyaki grill and traditional Japanese cuisine. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10055 Atlantic Blvd. 724-8883. $$$ LA NOPALERA Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Intracoastal.

8818 Atlantic Blvd. 720-0106. $ NERO’S CAFE F Traditional Italian fare, including seafood, veal, beef, chicken and pasta dishes. Weekly specials are lasagna, 2-for-1 pizza and AYCE spaghetti. CM, FB. L, Sun.; D, daily. 3607 University Blvd. N. 743-3141. $$ REGENCY ALE HOUSE & RAW BAR Generous portions and friendly service in a nautical atmosphere. Fresh fish, specialty pastas, fresh oysters and clams. BW. L & D, daily. 9541 Regency Square Blvd. S. 720-0551. $$ TREY’S DELI & GRILL F Fresh food served in a relaxed atmosphere. Burgers, Trey’s Reuben, deli sandwiches, pork, steaks, seafood, pies. Prime rib specials every Fri. night. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 2044 Rogero Rd. 744-3690. $$ UNIVERSITY DINER F The popular diner serves familiar breakfast fare and lunch like meatloaf, burgers, sandwiches: wraps, BLTs, clubs, melts. Daily specials. BW. B & L, Sat. & Sun.; B, L & D, Mon.-Fri. 5959 Merrill Rd. 762-3433. $

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BISCOTTIS F Mozzarella bruschetta, Avondale pizza, sandwiches, espresso, cappuccino. Revolving daily specials.

B, Tue.-Sun.; L & D, daily. 3556 St. Johns Ave. 387-2060. $$$ THE BLUE FISH RESTAURANT & OYSTER BAR Fresh seafood, steaks and more are served in a casual atmosphere. Halfportions are available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 3551 St. Johns Ave., Shoppes of Avondale. 387-0700. $$$ BRICK RESTAURANT F Creative all-American fare like tuna tartare, seaweed salad and Kobe burger. Outside dining. FB. L & D, daily. 3585 St. Johns Ave. 387-0606. $$$ THE CASBAH F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Middle Eastern cuisine is served in a friendly atmosphere. BW. L & D, daily.

3628 St. Johns Ave. 981-9966. $$ ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE F Gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. FB. D, Tue.-Sun., closed Mon. 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40. 388-4884. $$$ THE FOX RESTAURANT F The Fox has been a Jacksonville landmark for 50-plus years. Owners Ian & Mary Chase serve classic diner-style fare, homemade desserts. B & L daily. 3580 St. Johns Ave. 387-2669. $ GREEN MAN GOURMET Organic and natural products, spices, teas, salts, BW. Open daily. 3543 St. Johns Ave. 384-0002. $ MOJO NO. 4 F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 3572

St. Johns Ave. 381-6670. $$ ORSAY Best of Jax 2011 winner. The French/American bistro focuses on craftsmanship and service. FB. D, Mon.-Sat.; Brunch & D, Sun. 3630 Park St. 381-0909. $$$ TOM & BETTY’S F A Jacksonville tradition for more than 30 years, Tom & Betty’s serves hefty sandwiches with classic car themes, along with homemade-style dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4409 Roosevelt Blvd. 387-3311. $$ ’town F Owner Meghan Purcell and Executive Chef Scott Ostrander bring farm-to-table to Northeast Florida, offering American fare with an emphasis on sustainability. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3611 St. Johns Ave. 345-2596. $$

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 8060 Philips Hwy. 731-4300. $ ANCIENT CITY SUBS Locally owned-and-operated by Andy and Rhonna Rockwell, this St. Augustine-themed sandwich shop, newly relocated to Baymeadows, serves gourmet subs — toasted, pressed or cold — and salads. CM, TO. Mon.-Sat. 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 207. 446-9988. $ BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA F Family-owned&-operated New York-style pizzeria serves hand-tossed, brick-oven-baked pizza, traditional Italian dinners, wings, subs.

Delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3.

519-8000. $$ CAFE CONFLUENCE F The European coffeehouse serves Italian specialty coffees and smoothies, along with paninis, salads and European chocolates. Outdoor dining. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 8612 Baymeadows Rd. 733-7840. $ CHA-CHA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT F Owner Celso Alvarado offers authentic Mexican fare with 26 combo dinners and specialty dishes including chalupas, enchiladas, burritos.

FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F Chicago-style deepdish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from the Comastro family, serving authentic Windy City favorites for 25+ years.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy. 731-9797. $$ DEERWOOD DELI & DINER F The ’50s-style diner serves malts, shakes, Reubens, Cubans, burgers, and traditional breakfast items. CM. B & L, daily. 9934 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-4877. $$ THE FIFTH ELEMENT F Authentic Indian, South Indian and Indochinese dishes made with artistic flair. Lunch buffet includes lamb, goat, chicken, tandoori and biryani items. CM. L & D, daily. 9485 Baymeadows Rd. 448-8265. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 8650 Baymeadows Rd. 448-0500. $$ INDIA RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Extensive menu of entrées, clay-oven grilled Tandoori specialties and chicken tandoor, fish, seafood and korma. L, Mon.-Sat., D, daily. 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8. 620-0777. $$ LARRY’S GIANT SUBS F With locations all over Northeast Florida, Larry’s piles subs up with fresh fixins and serves ’em

fast. Some Larry’s Subs offer B & W and/or serve breakfast.

CM. L & D, daily. 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9 (Goodby’s Creek), 737-7740; 8616 Baymeadows Rd. 739-2498. larryssubs.com $ LEMONGRASS F Upscale Thai cuisine in a metropolitan atmosphere. Chef Aphayasane’s innovative creations include roast duckling and fried snapper. BW. R. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.Sat. 9846 Old Baymeadows Rd. 645-9911. $$ MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE *Bite Club Certified! F The Lebanese restaurant offers authentic cuisine: lahm meshwe, kafta khoshkhas and baked filet of red snapper. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-1881. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The organic supermarket offers a full deli and a hot bar with fresh soups, quesadillas, rotisserie chicken and vegan sushi, as well as a fresh juice and smoothie bar. 11030 Baymeadows Rd. 260-2791. $ OMAHA STEAKHOUSE *Bite Club Certified! Center-cut beef, seafood, sandwiches served in an English tavern atmosphere. The signature dish is a 16-ounce bone-in ribeye. Desserts include crème brûlée. FB. L & D, daily. 9300 Baymeadows Rd., Embassy Suites Hotel. 739-6633. $$ PATTAYA THAI GRILLE F Traditional Thai and vegetarian items and a 40-plus item vegetarian menu served in a contemporary atmosphere. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1. 646-9506. $$ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 3928 Baymeadows Rd. 527-8649. $$ STICKY FINGERS F Memphis-style rib house specializes in barbecue ribs served several ways. FB. L & D, daily. 8129 Point Meadows Way. 493-7427. $$ UDIPI CAFE Authentic South Indian vegetarian cuisine. L & D, Tue.-Fri. 8642 Baymeadows Rd. 402-8084. $ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. L & D, daily. 9910 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-7171. $

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

A LA CARTE Authentic New England fare like Maine lobster rolls, fried Ipswich clams, crab or clam cake sandwich, fried shrimp basket, haddock sandwich, clam chowdah, birch beer and blueberry soda. Dine inside or on the deck. TO. L, Fri.-Tue. 331 First Ave. N. 241-2005. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Serving hand-tossed gourmet pizzas, calzones and Italian entrees for more than 21 years. Voted Best Pizza by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2011. BW. L & D, daily. 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-0002. $ ANGIE’S SUBS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Subs are madeto-order fresh. Serious casual. Wicked good iced tea. 1436 Beach Blvd. 246-2519. $ BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT & MARKET F The full fresh seafood market serves seafood baskets, fish tacos, oyster baskets, Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors or outside. Beach

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this is a copyright protected proof © delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 120 S. Third St. 444-8862. $$ BONGIORNO’S PHILLY STEAK SHOP F South Philly’s Bongiorno clan imports Amoroso rolls for Real Deal cheesesteak, Original Gobbler, clubs, wraps, burgers, dogs. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2294 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-3278. $$ BONO’S PIT BAR-B-Q F Baby back ribs, fried corn, sweet potatoes. BW. L & D, daily. 1307 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach.

270-2666. 1266 S. Third St. 249-8704. bonosbarbq.com $ BUDDHA THAI BISTRO F Authentic Thai dishes made with fresh ingredients using tried-and-true recipes. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 301 10th Ave. N. 372-9149. $$ BURRITO GALLERY EXPRESS F Best of Jax 2011 winner.

The Gallery’s kid sister at the beach each is mostly take-out; same great chow, fast service. 1333 N. Third St. 242-8226. $ CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA F Homemade-style Mexican items are fajitas, enchiladas and fried ice cream, plus margaritas. FB. D, nightly. 127 First Ave. N. 249-3322. $$ CASA MARIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Springfield.

2429 S. Third St. 372-9000. $ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 320 N. First St. 270-8565. $$ CRAB CAKE FACTORY JAX *Bite Club Certified! F Chef Khan Vongdara presents an innovative menu of seafood dishes and seasonal favorites. FB. L & D daily. 1396 Beach Blvd., Beach Plaza. 247-9880. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner, serving burgers, sandwiches, nachos, tacos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 319 23rd Ave. S. 270-0356. $ CULHANE’S IRISH PUB *Bite Club Certified! Four sisters own and operate the authentic Irish pub, with faves Guinness stew, lamb sliders and fish pie. L, Fri.-Sun.; D, Tue.-Sun.; weekend brunch. FB, CM. 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach.

249-9595. $$ CYCLONES TEX-MEX CANTINA F Freshly made Tex-Mex favorites, including fajitas, enchiladas, tacos, burritos, tamales and taco salad. Lunch combos include Mexican rice and beans. FB. L & D, daily. 1222 S. Third St. 694-0488. $$ DICK’S WINGS F The casual NASCAR-themed place serves 365 varieties of wings. The menu also features half-pound burgers, ribs and salads. BW, TO. L & D daily. 2434 Mayport Road, Atlantic Beach, 372-0298. 311 N. Third St., 853-5004. $ DWIGHT’S The Mediterranean-style bistro features fresh local seafood, filet mignon, mixed grill and an extensive wine list. D, Tue.-Sat. 1527 Penman Rd. 241-4496. $$$$ ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY F The Best of Jax 2011 winner serves gastropub fare: soups, salads, flatbreads and sandwiches, like BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Daily specials. CM, BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217. 249-2337. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 992 Beach Blvd. 249-3001. $ FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Casual dining with uptown Irish flair, including fish and chips, Guinness beef stew and black-and-tan brownies. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 333 N. First St. 242-9499. $$ THE FISH COMPANY *Bite Club Certified! F Fresh, local seafood is served, including Mayport shrimp, fish baskets and grilled tuna and there’s an oyster bar. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Beach. 246-0123. $$ HOT DOG HUT F Best of Jax 2011 winner. All-beef hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, crab cakes, beer-battered onion rings and French fries. B. L, daily. 1439 S. Third St. 247-8886. $ ICHIBAN F Three dining areas: teppan or hibachi tables (watch a chef prepare your food), a sushi bar and Westernstyle seating offering tempura and teriyaki. FB, Japanese plum wine. L & D, daily. 675 N. Third St. 247-4688. $$ LYNCH’S IRISH PUB The full-service restaurant offers corned beef & cabbage, Shepherd’s pie, fish-n-chips. 30+ beers on tap. FB. L, Sat. & Sun., D, daily. 514 N. First St. 249-5181. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Southside. 1080 Third St. N. 241-5600. $ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco.

1534 N. Third St. 853-6817. $$ MEZZA LUNA F A Beaches tradition for 20-plus years.

Great food, from gourmet wood-fired pizzas to contemporary American cuisine. Inside or patio dining. Extensive wine list. CM, FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 110 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-5573. $$$ MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Traditional slow-cooked Southern barbecue served in a blues bar. Faves are pulled pork, Texas brisket, slow-cooked ribs. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1500 Beach Blvd. 247-6636. $$ MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN F For 25-plus years, Monkey’s has served pub grub, burgers, sandwiches, seafood and wings.

Dine inside or out on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1850 S. Third St. 246-1070. $ NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE F Best of Jax 2011 winner.

Executive Chef Kenny Gilbert’s cuisine features local fare and innovative dishes, served in an island atmosphere. Dine inside or out on the tiki deck. FB. L & D, Wed.-Sun.; D, nightly. 2309 Beach Blvd. 247-3300. $$ NORTH BEACH BISTRO *Bite Club Certified! Casual dining with an elegant touch, like slow-cooked veal osso buco; calypso crusted mahi mahi with spiced plantain chips. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach.

372-4105. $$$ OCEAN 60 A prix fixe menu is offered. Continental cuisine, with fresh seafood, nightly specials and a changing seasonal menu.

Dine in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. D, Mon.Sat. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 247-0060. $$$

PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL Serving Baja-style Mexican cuisine, featuring carne asada, tacos, burritos, fish tacos and shrimp burritos. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 333 N. First St. 208-5097. $ THE PIER RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The oceanfront place offers fresh, local fare. Upstairs, it’s Chef’s Menu, with stuffed flounder, pork tenderloin, appetizers. promise of benefit Downstairs bar and patio offer casual items, daily drink specials. CM, FB. D, daily; L & D, weekends; brunch, Sun. 412 N. First St. 246-6454. $$ PHILLY’S FINEST F Authentic Philly-style cheesesteaks made with imported Amorosa rolls. Hoagies, wings and pizza ... cold beer, too. FB. L & D, daily. 1527 N. Third St. 241-7188. $$ POE’S TAVERN F American gastropub offers 50+ beers with an emphasis on craft and local/regional selections. Gourmet hamburgers, handcut fries, fish tacos, quesadillas, Edgar’s Drunken Chili and daily fish sandwich special. L & D, daily. FB, CM. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7637. $$ RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The Beaches landmark serves grilled seafood with a Cajun/Creole accent. Hand-crafted cold beer. FB. L & D, daily.

207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877. $$ SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK F Best of Jax ’11 winner. Specialty menu items include signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp. Casual, trendy open-air space. FB, TO, CM. L & D, daily. 1018 N. Third St. 372-4456. $$ SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. 111 Beach Blvd. 482-1000. $$ SUN DOG STEAK & SEAFOOD *Bite Club Certified! F Eclectic American fare, art deco décor with an authentic diner feel. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221. $$ TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA F Fresh, Baja-style Mexican fare, with a focus on fish tacos and tequila, as well as fried cheese, bangin’ shrimp and verde chicken tacos. Valet parking. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1183 Beach Blvd. 249-8226. $$ VOO-SWAR RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Traditional soul food includes smothered ork chops, collard greens, meatloaf, barbecue, pulled pork. FB, CM. L & D, MOn.-Sat. 51 Roberts St., Atlantic Beach. 713-5551. $ THE WINE BAR The casual neighborhood place has a tapasstyle menu, fire-baked flatbreads and a wine selection. Tue.Sun. 320 N. First St. 372-0211. $$

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 090611 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

DOWNTOWN

(The Jacksonville Landing venues are at 2 Independent Drive) ADAMS STREET DELI & GRILL The lunch spot serves wraps, including grilled chicken, and salads, including Greek salad. L, Mon.-Fri. 126 W. Adams St. 475-1400. $$ BURRITO GALLERY & BAR F Best of Jax 2011 winner.

Southwest cuisine, traditional American salads. Burritos and more burritos. Onsite art gallery. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-2922. $ CAFÉ NOLA AT MOCA JAX On the first floor of Museum of Contemporary Art, Cafe Nola serves shrimp and grits, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fish tacos, homemade desserts. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Thur. 333 N. Laura St. 366-6911 ext. 231. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. The Jacksonville Landing. 354-7747. $$$ CITY HALL PUB A sports bar vibe: 16 big-screen HDTVs. Angus burgers, dogs, sandwiches, AYCE wings buffet. FB. Free downtown area lunch delivery. L & D, daily. 234 Randolph Blvd.

356-6750. $$ DE REAL TING CAFE F The popular restaurant offers a Caribbean lunch buffet Tue.-Fri. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 128 W. Adams St. 633-9738. $ FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT New location.

See Beaches. FB, CM. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176. 374-1247. $$ INDOCHINE Best of Jax 2011 winner. Serving Thai and Southeast Asian cuisine in the core of downtown. Signature dishes include favorites like chicken Satay, soft shell crab, and mango and sticky rice for dessert. BW, FB, TO. L, Mon.-Fri., D, Tue.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-5303. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE Family-owned-and-operated.

Jenkins offers beef, pork, chicken, homemade desserts. L & D, daily. 830 N. Pearl St. 353-6388. $ TRELLISES HYATT REGENCY The American cuisine restaurant offers a breakfast buffet with made-to-order omelet station and a la carte items. Signature lunch and dinner entrees include grouper salad, Angus burgers, Reubens, French onion grilled cheese, seafood and steaks. Wed. night Pastabilities.

CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 225 East Coastline Dr. 634-4540. $$$ KOJA SUSHI F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Sushi, Japanese, Asian and Korean cuisine. Indoor and outdoor dining and bar.

FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing. 350-9911. $$ NORTHSTAR SUBSTATION F This place features brick-ovenbaked pizzas, grinders, wings, Philly cheesesteaks, custom sandwiches and fries served in a laid-back setting. FB, 27 beers on draft. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 119 E. Bay St. 860-5451. $ OLIO MARKET F Freshly prepared sandwiches, salads, soups and entrées. In the Churchwell Lofts building, Olio partners eclectic tastes with Old World ambiance in a casual renovated space. L, Mon.-Fri.; late Art Walk. 301 E. Bay St. 356-7100. $$ SKYLINE DINING & CONFERENCE CENTER Weekday lunch includes salad bar, hot meals and a carving station. L, Sun. upon request. FB. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 3550. 791-9797. $$ VITO’S ITALIAN CAFE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Authentic

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APRIL 3-9, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 41

FolioW

GRILL ME! A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE RESTAURANT BIZ

NAME: Justin Southwell RESTAURANT: Tasty’s Fresh Burgers & Fries, 710 Centre St., Fernandina Beach

Walter Coker

BIRTHPLACE: Jacksonville

YEARS IN THE BIZ: 17

FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than my own): Minibar, in Chicago FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: It’s a close tie between classic French and Southern soul.

FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Venison, pork and fresh vegetables.

IDEAL MEAL: Fried chicken, collard greens, mac & cheese and hoe cake with cane syrup; banana pudding for dessert.

WOULDN’T EAT IF YOU PAID ME: Chitterlings; been there, done that, never doing it again.

MOST MEMORABLE RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE: Cooking for Jacques Pepin and Michel Nischan. It was crazy to know they were in the dining room eating my food. Talk about pressure!

INSIDER’S SECRET: Always remember the “7 Ps”: Proper prior planning prevents piss-poor performance.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Chad Dougherty, Chris Walton.

CULINARY GUILTY PLEASURE: Pork fatback.

Italian oven-baked pasta dishes, pizza, veal, chicken and seafood items made with fresh ingredients. CM, FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 174. 355-0064. $$ ZODIAC GRILL F Serving Mediterranean cuisine and American favorites, with a popular lunch buffet. FB. L & D, daily. 120 W. Adams St. 354-8283. $

FLEMING ISLAND

CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 406 Old Hard Road, Ste. 106. 213-7779. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F See Riverside. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 1915 East West Pkwy., 541-0009. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Intracoastal.

1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100. 215-2223. $ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Southside. 1800 Town Center Pkwy. 541-1999. $ MOJO SMOKEHOUSE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. FB. L & D, daily. 1810 Town Ctr. Blvd. 264-0636. $$ WHITEY’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The renowned seafood place, family-owned since 1963, offers AYCE freshwater catfish. Also steaks, pastas. Outdoor waterfront dining. And you can get there by car, boat or bike.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2032 C.R. 220. 269-4198. $

INTRACOASTAL

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 14286 Beach Blvd. (at San Pablo Rd.) 223-0991. $ AROY THAI FUSION The new restaurant offers authentic Thai cuisine, including pad Thai, Thai fried rice and traditional curry dishes. Daily happy hour, FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40. 374-0161. $$ BIG DAWG’S SPORTS RESTAURANT F The family-friendly casual sports place has wings, burgers, sandwiches, wraps and specialty salads. Kids get a Puppy Chow menu. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12630 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 551-3059. $$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA, PASTA, PANINIS F Authentic New Yorkstyle pizza, Italian pastas and desserts in a family atmosphere.

CM, BW. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36. 223-6913. $ CLIFF’S ROCKIN’ BAR-N-GRILL F Cliff’s features 8-ounce burgers, wings, steak, seafood, homemade pizza and daily specials. FB. L & D, daily. Smoking permitted. 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, Cobblestone Plaza. 645-5162. $$ EL RANCHITO Latin American cuisine includes dishes from Colombia, Cuba and Mexico. BW, CM, TO. L & D, daily. 14333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 22. 992-4607. $$ GOOD FOOD COMPANY The fine-dining restaurant and full-service catering company emphasizes using quality raw ingredients to create menus based on local, seasonal and organic products, served in an elegant atmosphere. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 13475 Atlantic Blvd. 329-2407. $$ ISTANBUL MEDITERRANEAN & ITALIAN CUISINE F A varied menu offers European cuisine including lamb, beef and chicken dishes, as well as pizza and wraps. BW. L & D, daily.

13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 26. 220-9192. $$ JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE F The menu includes wings, hamburgers, Ahi tuna and handcut steaks. CM, FB. Daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22. 220-6766. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Family-ownedand-operated, serving authentic Mexican cuisine, like tamales, fajitas, pork tacos, in a casual family atmosphere. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 14333 Beach Blvd. 992-1666. $ MILANO’S RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA Homemade Italian cuisine, breads, pizzas, calzones and specialty dishes. BW, CM.

42 | folio weekly | APRil 3-9, 2012

L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 646-9119. $$ MY MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT See St. Johns Town Center.

13546 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1A. 821-9880. $ THAI ORCHID F The restaurant serves authentic Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, including pad Thai, Thai curry dishes and rice dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 683-1286. $$ TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL F Wings, gourmet pizza, fresh seafood and specialty wraps. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5. 223-6999. $$

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS

BLACKSTONE GRILLE The menu blends flavors from a variety of cultures and influences for modern American fusion cuisine, served in a bistro-style setting. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri., D, Sat.; Sun. brunch. 112 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 102. 287-0766. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F See Intracoastal. 540 S.R. 13, Ste. 10, Fruit Cove. 287-8317. $$ HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE F Wings, big salads, burgers, wraps and sandwiches. Sports events on HDTVs. CM, FB. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101. 683-1964. $ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk.

230-2171. $ VINO’S PIZZA Vino’s Pizza – with four Jacksonville locations – makes all their Italian and American dishes with fresh ingredients. L & D, daily. 605 S.R. 13, Ste. 103. 230-6966. $ WAKAME JAPANESE & THAI CUISINE F The fine dining restaurant offers authentic Japanese and Thai cuisine, including a full sushi menu, curries and pad dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 108. 230-6688. $$

MANDARIN

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 11190 San Jose Blvd. 260-4115. $ AW SHUCKS F The seafood place offers an oyster bar, steaks, seafood, wings, pasta. Faves: ahi tuna, shrimp & grits, oysters Rockefeller. Sweet potato puffs are the signature side. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd. 240-0368. $$ THE BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE F A Maryland-style crabhouse featuring fresh blue crabs, garlic crabs, and king, snow and Dungeness crab legs. FB, CM. D, Tue.-Sat.; L & D, Sun. 3057 Julington Creek Rd. 260-2722. $$ BRAZILIAN JAX CAFE Authentic Brazilian dishes include steaks, sausages, chicken, fish, burgers and hot sandwiches made with fresh ingredients. Traditional feijoada (black beans and pork stew with rice, collards, orange salad and toasted yucca flour with bacon) is served every Sat. TO. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9825 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 20. 880-3313. $$ BROOKLYN PIZZA F The traditional pizzeria serves New York-style pizza, specialty pies, and subs, strombolis and calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 11406 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. $ CLARK’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Clark’s has steak, ribs, AYCE catfish dinners, 3-pound prime rib.

Dine in, out or in a creek-view glass-enclosed room. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 12903 Hood Landing Rd. 268-3474. $$ DON JUAN’S RESTAURANT F Authentic Mexican dishes prepared daily from scratch, served in a casual atmosphere.

FB, CM. L & D, daily. 12373 San Jose Blvd. 268-8722. $$ GIGI’S RESTAURANT Breakfast buffet daily, lunch buffet

weekdays. The Comedy Zone (Best of Jax 2011 winner) has an appetizer menu. FB. B, L & D, daily. I-295 & San Jose Blvd.

(Ramada Inn). 268-8080. $$ (Fri. & Sat. buffet, $$$) HALA CAFE & BAKERY F See Southside. 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd. 288-8890. $$ HARMONIOUS MONKS The American-style steakhouse features a 9-oz. choice Angus center-cut filet topped with gorgonzola shiitake mushroom cream sauce, 8-oz. gourmet burgers, fall-off-the-bone ribs, wraps, sandwiches. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30.

880-3040. $$ KOBE JAPANESE RESTAURANT The fusion-style sushi restaurant offers oyster shooters, kobe beef shabu-shabu, Chilean sea bass and filet mignon. BW & sake. L & D, daily.

11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 8. 288-7999. $$ MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE MSG-free pan-Asian cuisine prepared to order in woks using fresh ingredients. Authentic Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese and Thai dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 11105 San Jose Blvd. 260-1727. $$ MANDARIN ALE HOUSE Laid-back atmosphere; 30-plus beers on tap. FB. L & D, daily. 11112 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 19.

292-0003. $$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco.

12807 San Jose Blvd. 638-6185. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Organic supermarket with full deli and salad bar serving wraps, quesadillas, chopped salads, vegetarian dishes. Fresh juice and smoothie bar. Indoor and outdoor seating. Mon.-Sat. 10000 San Jose Blvd. 260-6950. $ PICASSO’S PIZZERIA F Specializes in hand-tossed gourmet pizza, calzones, homemade New York-style cheesecake and handmade pasta. Fresh local seafood and steaks. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 10503 San Jose Blvd. 880-0811. $$ THE RED ELEPHANT PIZZA & GRILL This casual, familyfriendly eatery serves pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials and pasta dishes. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12. 683-3773. $$ SIMPLE FAIRE F Breakfast and lunch favorites, featuring Boar’s Head meats and cheeses served on fresh bread. Daily specials. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3020 Hartley Rd. 683-2542. $$ TANK’S FAMILY BAR-B-Q Owned and operated by the Tankersley family, the barbecue place offers made-from-scratch Southern-style fare, featuring their own sauces. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 11701 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 23. 351-8265. $$ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. L & D, daily. 4268 Oldfield Crossing Dr. 268-6660. $ WHOLE FOODS MARKET F 100+ prepared items at a fullservice and self-service hot bar, soup bar, dessert bar. Madeto-order Italian specialties from a brick oven pizza hearth. L & D, daily. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22. 288-1100. $$

ORANGE PARK

ARON’S PIZZA F The family-owned restaurant offers eggplant dishes, manicotti and New York-style pizza. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 650 Park Ave. 269-1007. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F For 18-plus years, the sports-themed family restaurant has served wings, ribs, entrees, sandwiches.

FB. L & D, daily. 9680 Argyle Forest Blvd. 425-6466. $$ THE HILLTOP CLUB She-crab soup, scallops, prime beef, wagyu beef, chicken Florentine and stuffed grouper. Chef Nick’s salmon is a favorite. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 2030 Wells Rd. 272-5959. $$ JOEY MOZARELLAS The Italian restaurant’s specialty is a 24-slice pizza: 18”x26” of fresh ingredients and sauces made daily. CM, TO. L & D, daily. 930 Blanding Blvd. 579-4748. $$ PASTA MARKET & CLAM BAR F Family-owned-andoperated. Gourmet pizza, veal, chicken, mussels, shrimp, grouper. The pastas: spaghetti, fettuccine, lasagna, calzones, linguini, ravioli, made with fresh ingredients, homemade-style.

CM, BW, sangria. 1930 Kingsley Ave. 276-9551. D, nightly. $$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F Pizzas are baked in coal-fired ovens. Popular pizzas include Health Choice and Mozzarella.

Coal-fired sandwiches and wings, too. BW. L & D, daily. 2134 Park Ave. 264-6116. $$ THE ROADHOUSE F Burgers, wings, deli sandwiches and popular lunches are served. FB. L & D, daily. 231 Blanding Blvd. 264-0611. $ THAI GARDEN F Traditional Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, served in a relaxed atmosphere. Curry dishes and specialty selections with authentic Thai flavors. BW. L, Mon.Fri.; D, nightly. 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. A. 272-8434. $$

PONTE VEDRA, NE ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA F See Beaches. BW. L & D, daily. 635 A1A. 543-1494. $ AQUA GRILL Upscale cuisine includes fresh seafood, Angus steaks, Maine lobster, vegetarian dishes. Outdoor patio seating. FB. L, Mon.-Sat.; D, nightly. 950 Sawgrass Village Dr. 285-3017. $$$ THE AUGUSTINE GRILLE *Bite Club Certified! Chef Brett Smith’s global cuisine is seasonal and local. Selections include prime steaks, New York strip, lamb and lobster Napoleon.

FB, CM. D, nightly. 1000 PGA Tour Blvd., Sawgrass Marriott.

285-7777. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F Authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas, paninis, desserts. Family atmosphere. CM. L & D, daily.

880 A1A, Ste. 8. 280-7677. $$ CAFFE ANDIAMO Traditional Italian cuisine features fresh seafood, veal, homemade pastas and wood-fired pizza prepared in a copper clad oven. An extensive wine list is offered in a cosmopolitan atmosphere. Dine indoors or Out on the terrace. L & D, daily. 500 Sawgrass Village. 280-2299. $$$ LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE F On the Intracoastal Waterway, LuLu’s can be reached by car or by boat. Seafood, steaks and pasta dishes with a sophisticated flair. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 301 N. Roscoe Blvd. 285-0139. $$ NINETEEN AT TPC SAWGRASS In Sawgrass’ Tournament Players Club, Nineteen features more than 230 wines and freshly prepared American and Continental cuisine, including local seafood, served inside or al fresco on the verandah. L & D, daily. 110 Championship Way. 273-3235. $$$ PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE *Bite Club Certified! F Freshly prepared Caribbean cuisine, including red snapper Ponte Vedra Jamaican grilled pork ribs and barbecued salmon tower.

Tropical rum drinks feature Pusser’s Painkiller. FB. L & D, daily.

816 A1A N., Ste. 100. 280-7766. L, $$; D, $$ RESTAURANT MEDURE Chef Matthew Medure offers eclectic cuisine of local and imported seafood with Southern and Asian influences. F/B. D, Mon.-Sat. 818 A1A N. 543-3797. $$$ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 8141 A1A. 285-0014. $$$$ 619 OCEAN VIEW Dining with a Mediterranean touch, featuring fresh seafood, steaks and nightly specials. FB, CM. D, Wed.-Sun. 619 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Cabana Beach Club.

285-6198. $$$ URBAN FLATS See St. Johns Town Center. FB. L & D, daily.

330 A1A N. 280-5515. $$

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AJ’S ON PARK STREET F AJ’s is a casual barbecue spot serving smoked St. Louis-style ribs, pulled pork, smoked brisket, seafood and dishes made with a Latin touch. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 630 Park St. 359-0035. $$ ALPHADOG GRILL F This fun place in Riverside features gourmet hot dogs — like Ragin’ Cajun (andouille sausage covered in jambalaya) and The Hippie (veggie dog) — and sausages, grilled chicken wraps, soups, salads, appetizers and wings. L & D, daily. BW. 2782 Park St. 374-8715. $ AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 1620 Margaret St. 388-8384. $ BAKERY MODERNE F The neighborhood bakery has classic pastries, artisanal breads, seasonal favorites, made from scratch, including petit fours, custom cakes. B & L, daily. 869 Stockton St., Ste. 6. 389-7117. $ BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS The new spot offers artisancrafted, small-batch roasted specialty coffees from its certified organic roastery and brew bar, including lattes, local pastries, craft beers. BW. 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 & 2. 855-1181. $ CARMINE’S PIE HOUSE F The Italian eatery has pizza by the slice, gourmet pizzas, appetizers, classic Italian dishes (calzone, stromboli, subs, panini) and microbrews in a casual atmosphere. BW, CM, TO. 2677 Forbes St. 387-1400. $$ COOL MOOSE F Classic sandwiches, eclectic wraps and desserts. An extensive gourmet coffee menu with Green Mountain coffees and frozen coffee drinks. B & L, daily.

Brunch, Sun. 2708 Park St. 381-4242. $ EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 2753 Park St. 384-9999. $ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 6677 103rd St., Westside, 777-6135. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F A deli, organic and natural grocery, and juice & smoothie bar offers teas, coffees, gourmet cheeses; natural, organic and raw items. Grab-andgo sandwiches, salads and sides. Craft beers, organic wines.

B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 2007 Park St. 384-4474. $ HJ’S BAR & GRILL Traditional American fare: burgers, sandwiches, wraps and platters of ribs, shrimp and fish. CM, FB. L & D, Sat. & Sun., D, Mon.-Fri. 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 1. 317-2783. $$ HOVAN MEDITERRANEAN GOURMET F Dine inside or on the patio. Mediterranean entrées include lamb, and beef gyros. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 2005-1 Park St. 381-9394. $ JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILL F A Riverside tradition, serving 60+ fresh deli and grill items, including hot sandwiches. L, Mon.Fri. 474 Riverside Ave. 356-8055. $ KICKBACKS GASTROPUB F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The neighborhood spot serves favorites 20 hours a day, every day.

655+ bottled beers, 84 on tap. Outdoor seating. CM. 910 King St. 388-9551. $$ MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homemade-style sides include green beans, baked beans, red cole slaw, collards. BW, CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551. $$ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Amelia Island. 1176 Edgewood Ave. S. 389-4442. $ MOSSFIRE GRILL F Southwestern menu with ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas and gouda quesadillas. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1537 Margaret St. 355-4434. $$ MY MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT See St. Johns Town Center.

1661 Riverside Ave., Ste. 128. 900-1955. $ O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB F Innovative Irish fare and

traditional faves are offered, like lambburger with Stilton crust, Guinness mac & cheese, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips — plus 18 beers on tap. L, daily except Mon.; D, daily. CM, FB. 1521 Margaret St. 854-9300. $$ PELE’S WOOD FIRE Chef Micah Windham uses a wood-fired oven to create traditional, authentic Italian fare with a modern twist. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 2665 Park St. 955-1278. $$ PERARD’S PIZZA & ITALIAN CUISINE F Traditional Italian fare with fresh sauces and dough made from scratch daily.

Large selection of gourmet pizza toppings. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 11043 Crystal Springs Rd., Ste. 2. 378-8131. $ PERFECT RACK BILLIARDS F Upscale billiards hall has burgers, steak, deli sandwiches, wings. Family-friendly, nonsmoking. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 1186 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill. 738-7645. $ PIZZA PALACE ON PARK F See San Marco. Outdoor seating.

920 Margaret St., 5 Points. 598-1212. $$ SAKE HOUSE F Japanese grill and sushi bar features sushi, sashimi, katsu, tempura, hibachi and specialty rolls. CM, BW, sake. L & D, daily. 824 Lomax St. 301-1188. $$ SUMO SUSHI F Authentic Japanese fare, traditional to entrees and sushi rolls, spicy sashimi salad, gyoza (pork dumpling), tobiko (flying fish roe), Rainbow roll (tuna, salmon, yellowtail, Calif. roll). BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2726 Park St. 388-8838. $$ SUSHI CAFÉ A variety of sushi, including the popular Monster Roll and the Jimmy Smith Roll, along with faves like Rockn-Roll and Dynamite Roll. Sushi Café also offers hibachi, tempura, katsu and teriyaki. BW. Dine indoors or on the patio.

L & D, daily. 2025 Riverside Ave. Publix Plaza. 384-2888. $$ TASTI D-LITE Health-conscious desserts include smoothies, shakes, sundaes, cakes and pies, made with fresh ingredients with fewer calories and less fat. More than 100 flavors. Open daily. 1024 Park St. 900-3040. $ TWO DOORS DOWN F Traditional faves: hotcakes, omelets, burgers, pork chops, liver & onions, fried chicken, sides and desserts. CM, TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 436 Park St. 598-0032. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE buffet. Sushi bar, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, steak, seafood. BW. L & D, daily. 1014 Margaret St., Ste. 1, 5 Points. 301-1199. $$

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS F The Ancient City’s only brew pub taps seven hand-crafted ales and lagers. A1A specializes in innovative New World cuisine. FB. L & D, daily. 1 King St. 829-2977. $$ AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT F A family-owned-andoperated Italian restaurant offers traditional pasta, veal, steak and seafood dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1915B A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. 461-0102. $$ ANN O’MALLEY’S F Fresh handmade sandwiches, soups, salads and perfectly poured Guinness. Favorites include Reubens and chicken salad. CM, BW, Irish beers on tap. L & D, daily. 23 Orange St. 825-4040. $$ BARLEY REPUBLIC IRISH PUBLIC HOUSE This new Irish bar and pub in historic downtown offers burgers, sandwiches, shepherd’s pie and bangers and mash. BW. L & D, daily. 48 Spanish St. 547-2023. $$ BARNACLE BILL’S F For 30 years, the family restaurant has served seafood, oysters, gator tail, steak and fried shrimp. FB, CM, TO. L & D daily; 14 Castillo Drive, 824-3663. $$ THE BLACK MOLLY BAR & GRILL Fresh, local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D daily.

504 Geoffrey St., Cobblestone Plaza. 547-2723. $$ BORRILLO’S PIZZA & SUBS F Specialty pizzas are Borrillo’s Supreme (extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage), white and vegetarian pizzas. Subs and pasta dinners. L & D, daily. 88 San Marco Ave. 829-1133. $ CAFÉ ATLANTICO Traditional and new Italian dishes served in an intimate space. Master Chef Paolo Pece prepares risotto alla pescatora, with shrimp, scallops and seasonal shellfish, in a parmesan cheese basket. BW. D, nightly. 647 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-7332. $$$ CAFÉ ELEVEN F Serving eclectic cuisine like feta spinach egg croissant, apple turkey sandwich, pear-berry salad. Daily chef creations. BW. B, L & D, daily. 501 A1A Beach Blvd.

460-9311. B, $; L & D, $$ CAP’S ON THE WATER F The Vilano Beach mainstay offers coastal cuisine – tapas platters, cioppino, fresh local shrimp, raw oyster bar – indoors or on an oak-shaded deck. Boat access. FB. L, Fri.-Sun., D, nightly. 4325 Myrtle St., Vilano Beach. 824-8794. $$ CARMELO’S PIZZERIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Authentic New York style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh baked sub rolls, Boars Head meats and cheeses, fresh salads, calzones, strombolis and sliced pizza specials. BW. L & D, daily. 146 King St. 494-6658. $$ CELLAR 6 ART GALLERY & WINE BAR Wolfgang Puck coffees, handmade desserts and light bistro-style fare amid local art. BW. Mon.-Sat. 6 Aviles St. 827-9055. $$ CREEKSIDE DINERY Creekside serves beef, chicken and seafood, with an emphasis on low-country cooking. Outdoor deck with a fire pit. FB. D, nightly. 160 Nix Boatyard Rd. 829-6113. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches.

3 St. George St. 824-6993. $ THE FLORIDIAN The downtown restaurant serves innovative

Southern fare, made with local farmers’ local food. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, ’N’grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. L & D, Wed.-Mon. 39 Cordova St. 829-0655. $$ GYPSY CAB COMPANY F Best of Jax 2011 winner.

International menu features large portions, reasonable prices.

FB. L & D, daily. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$ HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE F In a historic, two-story house, the New Orleans-style eatery has fresh seafood, steaks, jambalaya, etouffée and shrimp. FB. L & D, daily. 46 Avenida Menendez. 824-7765. $$ HOT SHOT BAKERY & CAFE Freshly baked items, coffees and hand-crafted breakfast and lunch sandwiches; Datil B. Good hot sauces and pepper products. B & L, daily. 8 Granada St. 824-7898. $ KINGS HEAD BRITISH PUB F Authentic Brit pub serves fish & chips, Cornish pastie and steak & kidney pie. Tap beers are Guinness, Newcastle and Bass. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 6460 U.S. 1 (4 miles N. of St. Augustine Airport.) 823-9787. $$ THE MANATEE CAFÉ F Serving healthful cuisine using organically grown fruits, vegetables, grains, legumes. B & L, daily. 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 106, Westgate Plaza. 826-0210. $ MANGO MANGO’S BEACHSIDE BAR & GRILL F Caribbean kitchen has comfort food with a tropical twist: coconut shrimp and fried plantains. BW, CM. Outdoor dining. 700 A1A Beach Blvd., (A Street access) St. Augustine Beach. 461-1077. $$ MILL TOP TAVERN F A St. Auggie institution housed in an 1884 building, serving nachos, soups, sandwiches and daily specials. Dine inside or on open-air decks. At the big mill wheel. FB. L & D, daily. 19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329. $$ OASIS RESTAURANT & DECK F Just a block from the ocean, with a tropical atmosphere and open-air deck. Steamed oysters, crab legs, burgers. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-3424. $ THE PRESENT MOMENT CAFÉ Best of Jax 2011 winner. The cozy café serves organic, vegan and vegetarian dishes, pizza, pastas, hummus and milkshakes For — all prepared without questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 032712 meat, dairy, wheat or an oven. Organic BW. TO. B, L & D, Mon.Sat. 224 W. King St. 827-4499. $ FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 PURPLE OLIVE INTERNATIONAL BISTRO F Family-ownedand-operated, offering specials, fresh artisan breads. OF Soups, Produced by ab Checked by Sales PROMISE BENEFIT SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION salad dressings and desserts made from scratch. BW. D, Tue.Sat. 4255 A1A S., Ste. 6, St. Augustine Beach. 461-1250. $$ RAINTREE Located in a Victorian home, Raintree offers a menu with contemporary and traditional international influences. Extensive wine list. FB. D, daily. 102 San Marco Ave. 824-7211. $$$ THE REEF RESTAURANT F Casual oceanfront place with a view from every table. Fresh local seafood, steak, pasta dishes and daily chef specials. Outdoor dining. FB, CM, TO. L & D daily. 4100 Coastal Hwy. A1A, Vilano Beach. 824-8008. $$ SOUTH BEACH GRILL Located off A1A, the two-story beachy destination offers casual oceanfront dining and fresh local seafood. Dine indoors or out on a beachfront deck. FB. B, L & D daily. 45 Cubbedge Road, Crescent Beach. 471-8700. $ For 20 years, Folio Weekly has been providing businesses and organizations an SPY GLOBAL CUISINE & LOUNGE In the historic district, opportunity to directly connect with Northeast Florida parents and families in our Spy features James Bond-themed sushi and Mediterraneanannual Kids’ Directory. From academic camps to sports events, if it’s KID-related, influenced global cuisine on the seasonal menu, including the Folio Weekly Kids’ Directory has it covered. fresh — never frozen — Hawaiian seafood. Dine indoors or out on the patio. Upstairs lounge, too. Great selection of chilled sakes. BW, CM. D, nightly. 21 Hypolita St. 819-5637. $$$ SUNSET GRILLE Seafood-heavy menu, consistent Great Chowder Debate winner. Specialties are baby back ribs, lobster ravioli, coconut shrimp, datil pepper wings. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 421 A1A Beach Blvd. 471-5555. $$$ THE TASTING ROOM, WINE & TAPAS Owned by Michael Lugo, the upscale contemporary Spanish restaurant fuses innovative tapas with an extensive wine list. L, Wed.-Sun.; D, nightly. 25 Cuna St. 810-2400. $$

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ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

BAHAMA BREEZE ISLAND GRILLE Fresh seafood, chicken, flame-grilled steaks and hand-crafted tropical drinks made with flavorful ingredients inspired by the Caribbean. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10205 River Coast Dr. 646-1031. $$$ BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE With four dining rooms, BlackFinn offers classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, chicken, flatbread sandwiches. Dine indoors or on the patio.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 4840 Big Island Dr. 345-3466. $$ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2011 winner for Best Burger in St. Augustine and OP/Fleming Island. Burgers made with fresh ground beef and there’s a wide selection of toppings, including fried onions, jalapeños or sautéed mushrooms. Fries, Kosher hot dogs and soft drinks, too. L & D, daily. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 401. 996-6900. $ LIBRETTO’S PIZZERIA & ITALIAN KITCHEN F Authentic NYC pizzeria serves Big Apple crust, cheese and sauce, along with third-generation family-style Italian classics, fresh-from-theoven calzones, and desserts in a casual, comfy setting. L & D, daily. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 402-8888. $$ MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET F A changing menu of more than 180 items includes cedar-roasted Atlantic salmon and seared salt-and-pepper tuna. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 5205 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Ctr. 645-3474. $$$ MY MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT Best of Jax 2011 winner. Nonfat, low-calorie, cholesterol-free frozen yogurt is served in flavors that change weekly. Toppings include a variety of fruit and nuts. 4860 Big Island Dr. 807-9292. $

FREE LISTING DEADLINE: FRIDAY, MARCH 30 PUBLICATION DATE: TUESDAY, APRIL 17

ADVERTISING DEADLINE: TUESDAY, APRIL 10

If your business includes activities for kids, let Northeast Florida parents know all the particulars with an advertisement.

Call your Folio Weekly account representative or DAVID BRENNAN at 904.260.9770 x130 before the April 10 deadline.

9456 Philips Hwy., Suite 11, Jacksonville, FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 • Fax: 904.260.9773 APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 43

Walter Coker

Blackfinn American Grille serves classic American fare like beef, seafood, pastas, salads and flatbread sandwiches on Big Island Drive in St. Johns Town Center.

THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE F The recipes, unique to the Pancake House, call for only the freshest ingredients. CM. B, L & D, daily. 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr. 997-6088. $$ RENNA’S PIZZA F Renna’s serves up New York-style pizza, calzones, subs and lasagna made from authentic Italian recipes. Delivery, CM, BW. 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, St. Johns Town Center. 565-1299. rennaspizza.com $$ SUITE Best of Jax 2011 winner. St. Johns Town Center premium lounge and restaurant offer chef-driven small plates and an extensive list of specialty cocktails, served in a sophisticated atmosphere. FB. D & late-nite, nightly. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 493-9305. $$ WASABI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Authentic Japanese cuisine, teppanyaki shows and a full sushi menu.

CM. L & D, daily. 10206 River Coast Dr. 997-6528. $$ WHISKY RIVER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. At St. Johns Town Center’s Plaza, Whisky River features wings, pizza, wraps, sandwiches and burgers served in a lively car racing-themed atmosphere (Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s the owner). FB. CM. L & D, daily. 4850 Big Island Drive. 645-5571. $$

SAN JOSE

ATHENS CAFÉ F Serving authentic Greek cuisine: lamb, seafood, veal and pasta dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7. 733-1199. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches.

5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1. 737-2874. $ DICK’S WINGS F NASCAR-themed family style sports place serves wings, buffalo tenders, burgers and chicken sandwiches. CM. BW. L & D, daily. 1610 University Blvd. W. 448-2110. dickswingsandgrill.com $ MOJO BAR-B-QUE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The Southern Blues kitchen serves pulled pork, brisket and North Carolina-style barbecue. TO, BW. L & D, daily. 1607 University Blvd. W. 732-7200. $$

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL THAI & SUSHI F Offering Thai cuisine, including pad Thai and curry dishes, and sushi in a relaxing atmosphere. L & D, Mon.-Sat. BW. 1004 Hendricks Ave. 674-0190. $$ b.b.’s F Best of Jax 2011 winner. A bistro menu is served in an upscale atmosphere, featuring almond-crusted calamari, tuna tartare and wild mushroom pizza. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri.; brunch & D, Sat. 1019 Hendricks Ave. 306-0100. $$$ BISTRO AIX F French, Mediterranean-inspired fare, awardwinning wines, wood-fired pizzas, house-made pastas, steaks, seafood. Indoor, outdoor dining. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 1440 San Marco Blvd. 398-1949. $$$ CHECKER BBQ & SEAFOOD F Chef Art Jennette serves barbecue, seafood and comfort food, including pulled-pork, fried white shrimp and fried green tomatoes. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3566 St. Augustine Rd. 398-9206. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Big sandwiches, soups, desserts and more than 100 bottled and on-tap beers. BW. L & D, daily. 1704 San Marco Blvd.

398-9500. $ THE GROTTO F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Wine by the glass. Tapas-style menu offers a cheese plate, empanadas bruschetta, chocolate fondue. BW. 2012 San Marco Blvd.

398-0726. $$ HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE *Bite Club Certified! F Authentic Latin American fine dining: picadillo, ropa vieja, churrasco tenderloin steak, Cuban sandwiches. L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, FB. 2578 Atlantic Blvd. 399-0609. $

44 | folio weekly | APRil 3-9, 2012

LAYLA’S OF SAN MARCO Fine dining in the heart of San Marco. Traditional Middle Eastern cuisine, served inside or outside on the hookah and cigar patio. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat.; D, Sun. 2016 Hendricks Ave. 398-4610. $$ MATTHEW’S Chef’s tasting menu or seasonal à la carte menu featuring an eclectic mix of Mediterranean ingredients.

Dress is business casual, jackets optional. FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 2107 Hendricks Ave. 396-9922. $$$$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Historic 1930s diner offers award-winning breakfast and lunch. Fresh seafood and Southern cooking. Bring your own wine. B & L, daily. 3302 Hendricks Ave. 398-3701. $$ THE OLIVE TREE MEDITERRANEAN GRILLE F Homestyle healthy plates: hummus, tebouleh, grape leaves, gyros, potato salad, kibbeh, spinach pie, Greek salad, daily specials.

L & D, Mon.-Fri. 1705 Hendricks Ave. 396-2250. $$ PIZZA PALACE F All homemade from Mama’s award-winning recipes: spinach pizza and chicken-spinach calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 1959 San Marco Blvd. 399-8815. $$ PULP F The juice bar offers fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees; 30 kinds of smoothies, with flavored soy milks, organic frozen yogurt, granola. Daily. 1962 San Marco Blvd.

396-9222. $ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Consistent Best of Jax winner.

Midwestern prime beef, fresh seafood, upscale atmosphere.

FB. D, daily. 1201 Riverplace Blvd. 396-6200. $$$$ SAKE HOUSE See Riverside. 1478 Riverplace Blvd.

306-2188. $$ SAN MARCO DELI F Independently owned & operated classic diner serves grilled fish, turkey burgers. Vegetarian options. Mon.-Sat. 1965 San Marco Blvd. 399-1306. $ TAVERNA Tapas, small-plate items, Neapolitan-style woodfired pizzas and entrées are served in a rustic yet upscale interior. BW, TO. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 1986 San Marco Blvd.

398-3005. $$$ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. This location offers a lunch buffet. L & D, daily. 1430 San Marco Blvd. 683-2444. $

SOUTHSIDE

AROMAS BEER HOUSE Customer faves are ahi tuna with a sweet soy sauce reduction, backyard burger, triple-meat French dip. FB. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 928-0515. $$ BISTRO 41° F Casual dining features fresh, homemade breakfast and lunch dishes in a relaxing atmosphere. TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $ BLUE BAMBOO Contemporary Asian-inspired cuisine includes rice-flour calamari, seared Ahi tuna, pad Thai. Street eats: barbecue duck, wonton crisps. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 3820 Southside Blvd. 646-1478. $$ BOMBA’S SOUTHERN HOME COOKING F Southern homestyle fare, featuring fresh veggies. Outside dining. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8560 Beach Blvd. 997-2291. $$ BUCA DI BEPPO Italian dishes served family-style in an eclectic, vintage setting. Half-pound meatballs are a specialty.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10334 Southside Blvd. 363-9090. $$$ CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR F Casual fine dining.

The menu blends modern American favorites served with international flair. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 1. 619-1931. $$$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches.

9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 11. 646-2874. $ EL POTRO F Family-friendly, casual El Potro has fresh, made-to-order fare. Daily specials, buffet most locations.

BW. L & D, daily. 5871 University Blvd. W., 733-0844. 11380 Beach Blvd., 564-9977. elpotrorestaurant.com $

EUROPEAN STREET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 5500 Beach Blvd. 398-1717. $ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2011 winner. See St. Johns Town Center. 9039 Southside Blvd., 538-9100. $ THE FLAME BROILER Serving food with no transfat, MSG, frying, or skin on meat. Fresh veggies, steamed brown or white rice along with grilled beef, chicken and Korean short ribs are featured. CM, TO. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 103. 619-2786. $ GENE’S SEAFOOD F Serving fresh Mayport shrimp, fish, oysters, scallops, gator tail, steaks and combos. L & D, daily.

11702 Beach Blvd. 997-9738. $$ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F A local institution since 1975 serving house-baked pita bread, kabobs, falafel and daily lunch buffet. TO, BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4323 University Blvd.

S. 733-5141. $$ ISLAND GIRL WINE & CIGAR BAR F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Upscale tropical vibe. Walk-in humidor, pairing apps and desserts with 25 wines, ports by the glass. 220+ wines by the bottle; draft, bottled beer. L & D, daily. 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115. 854-6060. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE See Downtown. 2025 Emerson St. 346-3770. $ JOHNNY ANGELS F The menu reflects its ’50s-style décor, including Blueberry Hill pancakes, Fats Domino omelet, Elvis special combo platter. Shakes, malts. B, L & D, daily. 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120. 997-9850. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Intracoastal.

8206 Philips Hwy. 732-9433. $ LIME LEAF F Authentic Thai cuisine: fresh papaya salad, pad Thai, mango sweet rice. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Cir., Stes. 108 & 109. 645-8568. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Tossed spring water dough, lean meats, veggies and vegetarian choices make up specialty pizzas, hoagies and calzones. FB. L & D, daily. 9734 Deer Lake Court (at Tinseltown). 997-1955. mellowmushroom.com $ OTAKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE F Family-owned with an open sushi bar, hibachi grill tables and an open kitchen. Dine indoor or out. FB, CM, TO. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 7860 Gate Parkway, Stes. 119-122. 854-0485. $$$ SAKE SUSHI F The restaurant offers sushi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, katsu, donburi and noodle soups. Popular rolls include Fuji Yama, Ocean Blue and Fat Boy. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy., Ste. 31. 647-6000. $$ SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY F Innovative menu of fresh local grilled seafood, sesame tuna, grouper Oscar, chicken, steak and pizza. Microbrewed ales and lagers. FB. L & D, daily. 9735 Gate Pkwy. N., Tinseltown. 997-1999. $$ SOUTHSIDE ALE HOUSE F Steaks, seafood, sandwiches. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9711 Deer Lake Court. 565-2882. $$ SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE F The stylish gastropub has Southern-style cuisine with a modern twist: Dishes are paired with international wines and beers, including a large selection of craft and IPA brews. FB. L & D, daily. 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16. 538-0811. $$ SUNSET 30 TAVERN & GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner.

Located in Latitude 30, Sunset 30 serves familiar favorites, including seafood, steaks, sandwiches, burgers, chicken, pasta and pizza. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily.

10370 Philips Hwy. 365-5555. $$ TAVERNA YAMAS *Bite Club Certified! The Greek restaurant serves char-broiled kabobs, seafood and traditional Greek wines and desserts. FB. L & D daily. 9753 Deer Lake Court. 854-0426. $$ THE THIRSTY IGUANA CANTINA TAQUERIA Classic Mexican fare includes quesadillas, tacos, burritos, chimichangas, enchiladas and fajitas, as well as some killer nacho choices, made with fresh ingredients. L & D, daily. TO, FB, CM. 7605

Beach Blvd. 647-7947. $$ TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA F Premium New York-style pizza from a brick-oven — the area’s original gluten-free pizzeria. Plus calzones, soups and salads; Thumann’s noMSG meats, Grande cheeses and Boylan soda. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2. 565-1999. $$ URBAN FLATS F Ancient world-style flatbread is paired with fresh regional and seasonal ingredients in wraps, flatwiches and entrées, served in a casual, urban atmosphere. An international wine list is offered. CM. FB. L & D, daily. 9726 Touchton Rd. 642-1488. $$ URBAN ORGANICS The local produce co-op offers seasonal fresh organic vegetables and fruit. Mon.-Sat. 5325 Fairmont St. 398-8012. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE sushi and two teppanyaki grill items are included in buffet price. FB. L & D, daily. 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C. 363-9888. $$ WILD WING CAFÉ F Serving up 33 flavors of wings, as well as soups, sandwiches, wraps, ribs, platters and burgers. FB. 4555 Southside Blvd. 998-9464. $$ YUMMY SUSHI F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Teriyaki, tempura, hibachi-style dinners, sushi & sashimi. Sushi lunch roll special. BW, sake. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd.

998-8806. $$

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOSTON’S RESTAURANT & SPORTSBAR *Bite Club Certified! F A full menu of sportsbar faves; pizzas till 2 a.m. Dine inside or on the patio. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13070 City Station Dr., River City Marketplace. 751-7499. $$ CASA MARIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The family-owned restaurant serves authentic Mexican fare, including fajitas and seafood. The specialty is tacos de azada. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104. 757-6411. $$ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2011 winner. See St. Johns Town Center. 13249 City Square Dr., 751-9711. $ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE See Downtown. 5945 New Kings Rd. 765-8515. $ JOSEPH’S PIZZA & ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Gourmet pizzas, pastas. Authentic Italian entrees. BW. L & D, daily.

7316 N. Main St. 765-0335. $$ MILLHOUSE STEAKHOUSE F A locally-owned-and-operated steakhouse with choice steaks from the signature broiler, and seafood, pasta, Millhouse gorgonzola, homemade desserts.

CM, FB. D, nightly. 1341 Airport Rd. 741-8722. $$ SALSARITA’S FRESH CANTINA F Southwest cuisine made from scratch; family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 131, River City Marketplace. 696-4001. $ SAVANNAH BISTRO Low Country Southern fare with a twist of Mediterranean and French inspiration, offered in a relaxing atmosphere at Crowne Plaza Airport. Favorites include crab cakes, NY strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 14670 Duval Rd. 741-4404. $-$$$ SWEET PETE’S This all-natural sweet shop offers a variety of candy and other treats made the old-fashioned way: all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey, too. 1922 N. Pearl St. 376-7161. $ THREE LAYERS CAFE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Lunch, bagels, desserts, and the adjacent Cellar serves fine wines.

Inside and courtyard dining. BW. B, L & D, daily. 1602 Walnut St., Springfield. 355-9791. $ 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL F Salads, sandwiches, pizza, fine European cuisine. Nightly specials. 2467 Faye Rd., Northside. 647-8625. $$ UPTOWN MARKET F In the 1300 Building at the corner of Third & Main, serving fresh fare made with the same élan that rules Burrito Gallery. Innovative breakfast, lunch and deli selections. BW, TO. 1303 Main St. N. 355-0734. $$

WINE TASTINGS

ANJO LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Thur. 9928 Old Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-2656 AROMAS CIGAR & WINE BAR Call for schedule. 4372 Southside Blvd., 928-0515 BLUE BAMBOO 5:30-7:30 p.m., every first Thur. 3820 Southside Blvd., 646-1478 DAMES POINT MARINA Every 3rd Wed. 4518 Irving Rd., Northside, 751-3043 THE GIFTED CORK Tastings daily. 64 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 810-1083 THE GROTTO 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726 MONKEY’S UNCLE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1850 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-1070 NORTH BEACH BISTRO 6-8 p.m. every Tue. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 OCEAN 60 6-8 p.m every Mon. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 O’KANE’S IRISH PUB 6:30 p.m. every 3rd Tue. 318 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, 261-1000 PUSSERS CARIBBEAN GRILL 6 p.m. every second Fri. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766

RIVERSIDE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1035 Park St., Five Points, 356-4517 THE TASTING ROOM 6-8 p.m. every first Tue. 25 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 810-2400 TASTE OF WINE Daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 9, Atlantic Beach, 246-5080 TIM’S WINE MARKET 5 p.m. every Fri., noon every Sat. 278 Solana Rd., Ponte Vedra, 686-1741 128 Seagrove Main St., St. Augustine Beach, 461-0060 III FORKS PRIME STEAKHOUSE 5-6:30 p.m. every Mon. 9822 Tapestry Circle, Ste. 111, SJTC, 928-9277 TOTAL WINE & MORE Noon-6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 300, 998-1740 URBAN FLATS 5-8 p.m. every Wed. 9726 Touchton Rd., Tinseltown, 642-1488 WHOLE FOODS MARKET 6 p.m. every Thur. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 288-1100 THE WINE BAR 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0211 WINE WAREHOUSE 4-7 p.m. every Fri. 665 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 246-6450 4434 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 448-6782 1188 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, 389-9997 4085 A1A S., St. Augustine Beach, 471-9900

promise of benefit

People of Faith

In a world of advancing technology and declining map-reading skills, some GPS navigator users blindly over-rely on the devices, and NOTW has reported enough of their predicaments to mark the category “no longer weird.” However, three Japanese students on holiday near Brisbane, Australia, in March created a new standard for ignoring common sense. Bound for North Stradbroke Island (about eight miles offshore), the driver (according to authorities cited by local Bayside Bulletin) apparently put maps and eyesight aside, in favor of the all-powerful Navigator, which instructed him to keep going. As news spread on the Internet, photographers rushed to capture the car, half-buried in sand. In the students’ defense, the beach seemed to extend to the horizon at low tide, though the word “island” might have deserved more respect.

Bayside Bulletin, Cleveland, Australia, 3-15-2012

The Continuing Crisis

Almost the whole village of Sodeto, Spain, shared the grand prize in the country’s huge Christmas lottery in December, earning each of the 70 households at least $130,000. The joint buy-in of tickets is a town ritual, but one resident missed the canvassing: filmmaker Costis Mitsotakis, who said he was happy everyone else was happy. The dark side of winning: Hucksters flooded in from all over Spain. New York Times, 1-31-2012 The town of Betws-y-Coed, Wales, holds the distinction of having its name likely butchered by more misspellings on Internet search inquiries than any other. In February, website managers told BBC News they’ve made a list of 364 spellings from people ostensibly looking for the town. The most common references? “Bwtsy Code” and “Betsy Cowed.”

BBC News, 2-16-2012 Anthony McDaniel, 47, voluntarily returned to North Carolina from his new home in Texas in February after being charged with embezzlement by a former employer. The owner of Fayetteville’s Skibo Skillet (now out of business) accused McDaniel of pocketing meatballs, corn on the cob and anchovy dip while working there. Greensboro News-Record, 2-23-2012 Make Yourselves at Home: Keith Davis, 46, was caught red-handed in Ashley Murray’s house in South Bend, Ind., in February and charged with burglary. Murray, though, said she had mixed feelings because, while there, Davis folded Murray’s clothes and vacuumed the house. Police said some drug or other made Davis think he was in his own home.

Officials at the Charlotte, N.C., county courthouse were startled to learn Paul Frizzell, 30, commandeered a vacant office in the building and for two months had run his business out of it with a phone, copy machine and bulletin board, among other trappings.

WNDU-TV (South Bend), 2-10-2012; Gaston Gazette, 1-12-2012

Family Values

What Christmas gift is appropriate for the 7-year-old daughter of Britain’s notorious specimen of plastic surgery known as the “Human Barbie”? For little “Poppy” Burge, it was a gift certificate worth about $11,000 for future liposuction, redeemable beginning

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at age 18. Mom Sarah had already given her a voucher for breast augmentation. Poppy, developing her early-onset need for attention: “I can’t wait to be like Mummy with big boobs.

They’re pretty.” Mom, who recently turned 51, celebrated with about $80,000 worth of additional plastic surgery to run her lifetime total to (depending on source consulted) $800,000 to $1 million. Daily Mail (London), 1-4-2012 In January, Sheriff ’s detectives told the Everett, Wash., Daily Herald they’d recently tracked down a 21-year-old man who confessed to stealing checks and forging signatures from a Lynnwood Money Tree store.

According to detectives, the man was clear about motive: “I don’t have an addiction. I don’t need to use drugs. I [was] doing this to show my parents that I can make it on my own, without them.” Daily Herald, 1-25-2012

Wisconsinites Doing It the Hard Way

In October, Robbie Suhr, 48, of Pleasant Prairie, sought the affections of the young exchange student living with Suhr and his wife and children, but she’d so far declined.

According to police, a disguised Suhr snatched the woman one night, intending to tie her up, leave, then return undisguised to “rescue” her.

However, she fought back, sending the masked man fleeing. Suhr got off easier than Jordan Cardella, 20, of Milwaukee, some months earlier. To win back his girlfriend, Cardella convinced a buddy to shoot him, hoping for the girlfriend’s sympathy and a change of heart. Though he requested three shots in the back, he wisely settled for one in the arm.

Alas, the girlfriend still ignored him. WTMJTV (Milwaukee), 10-30-2011; Journal Sentinel (Milwaukee), 7-26-2011

Least Competent Criminals

One of the largest methamphetamine busts in U.S. history was made in March by Palo Alto, Calif., police who used the popular Find-MyiPad app. Apparently, someone at the drug house stole the iPad, and police turned on the owner’s global-positioning “app,” pointing to an apartment complex in Santa Clara County.

Almost 800 pounds of meth was confiscated, with a street value of about $35 million. Said the father of the iPad owner, “They have $35 million, and they can’t go out and buy an iPad?” Mercury News (San Jose), 3-3-2012

People With Issues

Now in its third season, TLC cable channel’s series “My Strange Addiction” continues to raise the bar for NOTW. New highlights include a man sexually attracted to his car, and women who surround themselves with mothballs, or eat cat food, or drink nail polish, or dig into their ears, or eat adhesive tape.

In one episode, “Ayanna,” 54, who hasn’t cut her fingernails in three decades, reports she’s recently been cultivating her toenails, now 4 inches long and hampering her use of shoes.

Another new episode features Sheyla Hershey, mentioned here four weeks ago when she credited her gigantic breast implants with cushioning her body during a car crash. ABC News, 2-10-2012; Daily Mail (London), 3-6-2012.

Chuck Shepherd WeirdNews@earthlink.net APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 45

Sal

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Study this testimony: “Born in a rancid, bat-infested cave at the base of the smoldering Sangay Volcano, I was raised by the half-bear demon princess Arcastia. At age four, my training as a ninja shaman began when I was left naked and alone beside a stream of burning lava with only two safety pins, a pack of dental floss and a plastic bagful of Cheerios. My mission: to find my way to my spiritual home.” Compose your version, a playful, over-the-top myth about your origins to give you a greater appreciation for the heroic journey you’ve been on all these years.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Our ancestors owned slaves and denied education to girls.

What were they thinking? Time magazine asked renowned historian David McCullough if there was anything we do today that our descendants will regard as equally insane and inexcusable. His reply: “How we could have spent so much time watching TV.” Apply this same exercise on a personal level. Think of things a younger you that now seem incomprehensible or ignorant. Explore the chance that you’ll look back astounded at a weird habit or tweaked form of self-indulgence you’re after today. It’s a good time to phase out that habit or self-indulgence.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “I can’t tell if I’m dealing well with life these days or if I just don’t give a sh*t any more.” I stumbled upon that at someecards.com, and I want to pass it along for your consideration. You may be pondering the same riddle, suspicious about why you seem more relaxed and tolerant than usual in the face of everyday chaos. My opinion?

Your recent equanimity isn’t rooted in jaded numbness; it’s the result of hard work you did on yourself in the last six months. Congrats and enjoy!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): What excites you?

What mobilizes self-discipline and inspires you to see the big picture? Identify those sources of high-octane fuel, then take extraordinary measures to make them a strong presence in your life. There’s rarely been a better time than now to do so. It may create effects to last for years. A further nudge from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Every great and commanding movement in the annals of the world is the triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): While browsing in a bookstore, I found a book and deck of cards collectively called “Tarot Secrets.” The kit’s subtitle: “A Fast & Easy Way to Learn a Powerful Ancient Art.” I snorted derisively at that claim, since I’ve studied Tarot intensively for years and am nowhere near mastery.

Later, though, when I was home meditating on your horoscope, my attitude softened. Astrological omens do indeed suggest that in the weeks and months ahead, you may be able to learn a substantial skill in a short time.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Writing in The New Yorker, Joanna Ravenna paraphrased German philosopher Nietzsche: “The best way to enrage people is to force them to change their mind about you.”

I’d like you to mutate this theory in the weeks ahead. If possible, amuse and entertain people, not enrage them, by compelling them to change their minds about you. I realize that’s a tricky proposition, but given current astrological omens, I believe you can do it.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 1892, when the Wrigley company was starting out, its main product was baking powder. Free chewing gum was included in each package as a promo gimmick. But the freebie got so popular, Wrigley rearranged its entire 46 | FOLIO WEEKLY | APRIL 3-9, 2012

business. Now it’s a multi-billion-dollar company selling gum in 140 different countries — and no baking powder.

Maybe there’s something similar about to happen in your life. What seemed like the main event may turn out to be secondary, or what seemed incidental may become a central. Is there something you’re overvaluing at the cost of something you’re undervaluing?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): People in intimate relationships are hypersensitive to negative comments from their partners. Psychologists say it takes five compliments to outweigh the effects of a single derogatory criticism. I’m sure the ratio is similar even for relationships not as close as lovers and spouses.

Be extra careful not to dispense barbs. They’re especially damaging during this astrological cycle — both to you and to those at whom you direct them. Instead, dole out an abundance of compliments. They’ll build a reservoir of goodwill you can draw on for a long time.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Researchers report a typical man falls in love 5.4 times over the course of his life, while the average woman basks in the glow of this great mystery on 4.6 occasions.

I suspect you may be close to having a .4 or .6 type of experience; sort of like infatuation, but without the crazed mania. It may actually be a good thing. The challenging spiritual project the relationship offers may be most viable when the people involved aren’t electrifyingly interwoven with every single karmic thread. Maybe we have more slack in our quest for intimacy if we love but are not obsessed.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “I couldn’t wait for success,” said rich and famous comedian Jonathan Winters, “so I went ahead without it.” I love his approach; try it. Is there any area of your life held captive by an image of perfection?

Consider that shiny concepts of victory and progress may be distracting you from doing the work to bring meaning and fulfillment. If you’re too busy dreaming of someday attaining the ideal mate, weight, job, pleasure and community, you may miss out on the imperfect but amazing opportunities available now.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): On Reddit. com, Kaushalp88 asked, “What’s the most badass thing you’ve ever done, but that other people weren’t impressed by?” Here’s his story: “I was at an ice-cream shop. At the exit, there was a small raised step I didn’t see. I tripped over it with my ice-cream cone in my right hand. The ice-cream ball sprung out of the cone. I instinctively lurched my left hand forward and grabbed it, but at the same time I was already falling toward the pavement. I tucked my head into my chest and made a perfect somersault, rising to my feet and plopping the ice cream back in the cone.” I suspect you’ll have comparable experiences, unusual triumphs and unexpected accomplishments. You may have to be content with provoking awe in no one else but you.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A Swedish proverb goes: “Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” Can we talk about this? Of course there are real hazards and difficulties in life, and they deserve your ingenious problem-solving. But why devote precious energy to becoming embroiled in merely hypedup hazards and hypothetical difficulties? Based on my astrological-omen analysis, now’s a propitious time to cut shadows down to a proper size. It’s also a perfect moment to liberate yourself from needless anxiety. You’ll be amazed at how much more accurate your perceptions are.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

LONG-HAIRED RASTA IN JAGS JEEP My battery was dead and you recharged it. Sexiest man I have ever seen. I would love the chance to go topless in your Wrangler. Hoping you feel the same. When: Feb. 15. Where: Jax Beach. #1305-0403 FOR JW (SORRY) I gazed into another’s soul and saw mine looking back and when I moved from left to right my footsteps soul did track.

In this soul I also saw something I wasn’t glad to see -someone with whom I could stay and love into infinity.

To Fly! To run! To roam! To flee! Is what my heart was asking for.

So on this kindred soul to me I had to close the door.

— Eternally your muse in another life. MW When: March 17. Where: Outside of a bar. #1304-0403 YOU CAUGHT MY EYES I Saw u at MHC, and my heart couldn’t stop racing, u were so cute with your long brown hair and pretty smile, I just wanted to hold you in my arms. U had on orange shirt and black pants at the front desk, we started talking and I didn’t want to stop, but u had to leave early taking a trip to JFK, I wanted to at lease get your name and number so we can talk. You left and I couldn’t stop thinking of u. Email me please if we can talk. When: March 28. Where: MHC. #1303-0403 CUTIE ON A NINJA You: black Kawasaki Ninja. Me: black Honda Shadow, diggin your style. Us: hair blowing in the wind while we cruise down Beach Blvd. on our sweet rides. Pesky light cut our chit chat short. Let’s get together and ride to the beach. See you on campus! When: March 27 @ 9:30 p.m. Where: Beach & Kernan. #1302-0403 SWING DANCING MAN You had a gray plain T-shirt, with a shark tooth surf necklace, blue jeans with nice fade, and black dancing shoes, and stunning brown eyes. You move amazingly well, very impressive. Me: with black T-shirt with palm trees and jeans.

I sure would love to take private lessons, and dance with you.

Hope to see you again. When: March 23. Where: Orange Park/ Beyond Just Dance. #1301-0403 GROCERY SHOPPING DAD You: Handsome with dark hair and beautiful blue eyes, grocery shopping with your daughter. I first saw you in the produce department looking at me. We eventually exchanged a few flattering words and like the cart you were pushing, you raced off. Me: petite brunette, with brown eyes and pink cheeks from being slightly embarrassed. I was wearing gym clothes. Regretfully leaving without exchanging numbers.

When: March 9. Where: Publix World Golf Village. #1300-0403 BRUNETTE PIXIE AT LAYLA’S I saw you at Layla’s Tuesday night. I was leaving and you ripped off my clothes with those sexy eyes of yours. When: March 6. Where: Layla’s in San Marco. #1300-0327 TOTALLY FLOORED! First saw you sitting on the floor in the chips aisle... then again outside... (around 8:15 am) — You were wearing a light blue polo shirt & shorts... I’m kicking myself for not getting your number... If you are reading this, what was I wearing &/ or driving? When: March 11. Where: Walmart on Philips Hwy. @ 8:15 a.m. #1299-0320 YOBE FROZEN YOGURT At 8 p.m. went in looking crazy with my white polo hoodie on covering my head, pink FSCJ shorts and some flip flops.

Me and my kiddie bop grabbed some frozen yogurt and I saw your handsome face, with slick black hair. You had on shorts with a plaid blue-and-white button-up; your friend was wearing a cap. You decided to eat outside. Don’t know if you noticed but I sure was looking from the corner of my eyeball lol. When: Feb. 29. Where: Orange Park Yobe Frozen Yogurt. #1298-0320 HANK WILLIAMS JR. CONCERT You were hanging out behind the guy in charge of the lights.

You were also wearing a T-shirt that read Georgia across the front. I had long blonde hair and you were amused that I hunt in Georgia. I left in a hurry. Don’t let me get away, lol. When: March 3. Where: Hank Williams Jr. Concert. #1297-0320

MUSCULAR MOUNTAIN MAN You: Tall blonde grizzly hunk that comes to the gym on his lunch break. Me: Big rack with a bigger back. I’ve seen you get into a black older model F-150 with window decals on the back. Also I know we share a love for the Avett Brothers. I hope that one day we can lie underneath a tree together, play guitar, sip some apple pie moonshine and listen to the birds.

Will you be my Tim Tebow? When: About twice a week during lunchtime. Where: Athlete’s Choice, N. Main St. #1296-0313 JOHN SMITH SEARCHING FOR POCAHONTAS Saw you just around the river bend. Watched you tattoo a stuffed giraffe and my life hasn’t been the same since. Would love to paint the colors of the wind with you. When: March 5.

Where: Jerry’s Sports Grille. #1295-0313 BANGIN’ LIBRARIAN You: Blue eyes, short bangs & a green collared dress with sexy side cutouts. Me: Plaid button-up and cords. I saw you shelving DVDs. We met eyes for a few seconds and I thought to come over and ask you for a little assistance, but I was slightly intimidated. Let’s see how tough you truly are.

Drinks? When: March 1. Where: Jacksonville Public Library, Willow Branch. #1294-0313 FOREVER’S MESSENGER We exchanged few words, you complimented my pants. You: Adorable brunette with messenger bag. Me: Blushing, excited employee in beanie wishing I had said more. I’ve seen you around and I’d like to put a name to that face. When: Feb. 25.

Where: Avenues Mall. #1293-0313 TO THE MAYOR OF CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE You stole my heart from the couch.. and I have never let you out of my heart... you will always be in it no matter if you’re there or not... so let’s get back on that lonely couch and when we wake, let’s go for a bike ride on the beach. When: Feb. 2011. Where: Camp Crystal Lake Herschel St. #1292-0313 SEXY TATTOOED WHISKY RIVER BARTENDER I saw you staring all night at me when I was working. We had a moment while you were DJing when I finally caught your gaze. You’re on repeat in my mind all day. Let’s make music!

Where: In the bush. When: Feb. 29. Where: Whisky River/ Suite. #1291-0313 RUNNING RIOT You: Pretty, petite blonde always running and laughing with your friend in Riverside. Me: Tall, tan and athletic dying to know what’s so funny. When: Jan. 26. Where: Riverside. #1290-0306 SHORT HEALTHY BRUNETTE CUTIE RE: TRIVIA All of my friends have been facebooking me and texting me funny things about your “sexy trivia man” ad, question is will

you reveal yourself so I know what exactly “healthy” means please... When: ??? Where: Monkey’s Uncle Jax Beach. #1289-0306 PETE’S BAR You, sitting at the bar with your friends drinking whiskey.

I walked in and saw you right away. We talked and you charmed me, I went to play some foosball and you left, leaving me wondering if I’ll ever see your charming self again. Let’s talk again! When: Feb. 25. Where: Pete’s Bar. #1288-0306 STARBUCKS DREAM GIRL You: Short reddish hair, blue bandana, red shoes, backpack.

Me: Maroon zip-up, grey beanie, black hair with buzzed side. We made eye contact before you sat with your back to me. I’d like to see more of the front. Let me buy you your next coffee? When: Feb. 26. Where: Riverside Starbucks. #1287-0306 HOPE YOU NOTICED You were in St. Bart’s and I walked in with the girl. You didn’t look up but I could tell you were paying attention. There was more to me than meets the eye; I can’t wait to get your attention with the real me. Me: slim, Irish. You: tall, too intelligent. Care to meet by the pool? When: Feb. 20. Where: St. Bart’s. #1286-0306 TATTOOED GRAPHIC DESIGNER Hey u with the giant “kitty” on your side, we have the same artist and share an interest in photography. I was sitting on the ground in the art building watching “Ghostbusters” and writing a paper, u can ask me out on a date! I think you’re hot! Hope to see u soon, maybe at the tattoo shop! When: Mondays and Wednesdays. Where: University of North Florida. #1285-0306 WAFFLE HOUSE OFF 17 You: with your lazy eye and tangled bleached platinum hair, I was constantly wondering if you were looking at me or staring into my soul. Me: chain-smoking cigarettes and watching you like a tiger hunting its prey, I will wait for you at the Waffle House. Please don’t make me eat my heartshaped pancakes alone. When: Feb. 23. Where: Waffle House. #1284-0306 BLACKJACKS BBQ BEAUTY You (girl) work at Blackjacks and have tattoos. I (guy) eat at Blackjacks and have tattoos... so far we’re 2 for 2. When: Feb. 14. Where: Blackjacks Baymeadows. #1283-0221 MYSTERIOUS COAT AND CHEEKBONES I saw U at St. Bart’s, cooking something up in the lab.

Mutual friend introduced us. You told me my life story just by observing the evidence. I believe my heart was stolen.

Please take my case? You: Tall, dark-haired man in long coat

and blue scarf. Me: Soldier with blonde hair who called you brilliant. When: Feb. 10. Where: St. Bart’s. #1282-0221 YOU HELD MY DOOR AT THE CAR OK, J, you were a doll. Called me ma’am and I am. But still are you there? Bold City Thursday nite 9:30 p.m. When: Feb. 9. Where: Bold City. #1281-0221 PUT A BIRD ON IT! Saw you on the corner of Forbes and Acosta in your faded bathrobe sitting on your porch drinking your morning brew.

As soon as I got a whiff of your morning coffee breath, I knew you were the one for me. If you’re as interested as I am, meet me at Cool Moose at 8 am on V-day and we’ll both have some java to go with our morning breath. When: Feb. 9.

Where: Forbes & Acosta. #1280-0221 EYE CONTACT ONLY I was out with a girlfriend, wasn’t sure if you were out with yours, so I never actually spoke to you. Your dark hair, glasses and almost hidden arm tattoo caught my attention almost as much as our eye contact. As soon as I left, I regretted not saying anything. If you’re single, I’d like to actually have that conversation! When: Feb. 9. Where: Salt Life/Mellow Mushroom. #1279-0221 RAMPS ON THE STOVE TOP You the Officer that came to my parents’ rescue... Me the one who was in scrubs and slightly embarrassed because my father offered you “Ramps.” Ever since then, you have been forever on my mind... would love to get to know you better.

XOXO? When: Jan. 2011. Where: Ortega. #1278-0221 MY SUNSHINE I was driving along Atlantic Blvd., crossing at Hodges Blvd., when I saw you cruising in your V dub. Dark silk hair, hiding the fiery blonde underneath, your sexy dark shades resting above your little nose. It was love at first sight, but it was my first time seeing you sunshine. I’ll see you soon. When: April 11, 1984. Where: Atlantic Blvd. #1277-0214 LOST GIRL? U brunette with brown eyes that shine like little stars, sitting on red couch at The Royal. Me: guy dressed in black, busy working and cleaning up. I really meant to catch your name.

Hope I see you again one day. When: Feb. 4. Where: The Royal. #1276-0214 TETHERED TO BAR NEAR BATHROOMS Me: WAY too drunk, however, your beauty and energy is unforgettable. You and your dark-haired gentleman friend were tethered to the bar near the bathrooms. I would love love love to get to know you and see where it goes, if anywhere. When: Jan. 27. Where: Monkey’s Uncle Tavern, Mandarin. #1275-0214

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Today’s Ice Cream Flavors

ACROSS 1 He had the gall to invade Gaul 7 ___-be 12 With 15 Across, future attorney’s study 15 See 12 Across 18 Airport near D.C. 19 Sawing logs?

21 Afflict 22 Car service info 23 Ice cream flavor for someone who needs a lawyer?

25 Bills to pay bills 27 Snack that turned 100 last month 28 Ice cream flavor for campaign workers?

30 Ice cream flavor that’ll eventually spread to Europe?

37 New Haven Ivy Leaguer 38 Talk online 39 Suffragist Bloomer 40 Hue: abbr.

41 Complain 43 Strips in a club?

44 Ice cream flavor for travelers?

49 Bother 50 Lou’s dimwitted anchor 51 Creator of James, the agent 52 Beginning 54 Ice cream flavor for protesters?

59 Smack in the face 62 Pa. accident site of 1979 63 Eyes for Frosty 64 “Wow,” to a texter 65 One of three squares 66 Mr. Hubbard 67 With 70 Across, reason for an increase in ice cream sales?

70 See 67 Across 72 Ram 73 Green sci.

74 Argument side 1

2

3

4

5

75 76 77 78 83 85 86 87 88 94 96 97 98 99 102 103 106 109 110 111 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

AVENUES MALL

Insurance quote Hoppy brew Legendary Himalayan Ice cream flavor for borrowers?

Mute madcap of movies Letter before omega Singer Bobby Shout of discovery Ice cream flavor for those who accept life as it is?

Be worthy of Pullover raincoat Before, once Some grazers Baseball family name Hickey starter Ice cream flavor for members of Congress?

Ice cream flavor inspired by the U.S. Tax Code?

Mama’s boys Ex-ballplayer who wrote “Juiced” Ice cream flavor for voters who like having three choices?

Singer DiFranco “Platoon” setting, briefly New Orleans university Ludlum protagonist ___ de deux Unbuttered Carpentry grooves Infuriate DOWN Coach Parseghian Bus. card info Scot’s cap “May ___ now?”

Lotion ingredient Tenor Bocelli ___ attrition Bear, in Spain Nome knife Syr. neighbor Dutch pottery city Swam like a dog 1942 Abbott and Costello film First name in scat

6

7

18

8

9

10

4 M I C A

T E N O N

H A B L A

A S S T S

S 2 A R T

A P N E A

2 M N A E N R S 2 S E M T A A N E D G 8 2 G D WH O H I I D L T E E E G B I E A S N 6 L D 8 E E D D

11

32

12 20

28

33

34

35

44

49 55

45

83

89

91

60

102 107

110 120

123

124

A S S A Y

O L E A

I N 4 M

T A M S

16

17

48

62

80

86

87

93

94

81

82

117

118

95

98

103

104

108

105

109

111

119

T E T R A

53

61

79

97

101

O C E A N

75

92

96 100

M E S S Y

66

74

90

U R A L S

71

85

88

4 A G E S

52 59

78

84

15

T 8 R I O N T

38

70

77

R I V A L R Y

S U L U

42

65

73

76

C O M

E Y E D O E N S D M E I V M I I 8 I A N 4 G S A I D D R U R Y

47

58

69

6 T H E D O G O N

26

37

64

72

14

46

57

68

S O C K E O Y B E S S P E R E O S R 4 A T E A R A R O L M E A S

22

51

56

63 67

E S C A L 8 P E S I N P E G N K A U L E A R A I 2 E

A L O E

21

41

50

54

13

O N A

C L H E E N W EW R R I S T T E O U P P

29

36

40

43

E T A 4 G A R S O RM A S O L I R E N G GO R A D I V T H P A OO D OWE A D E A Y G R M E S O A T N D I N E T O A B R C R OW R I C A E C A Y

25

39

106

T O N E

24

31

74 Yalta’s peninsula 77 John’s love 78 Ft. Collins campus, briefly 79 “___ had it!”

80 Up, on maps 81 Five-alarm dish, maybe 82 Ending to Im or Amen in pharaoh names 84 Some Internet ads 85 Argument side 89 Brickyard racer 90 Car rental choice 91 ___ En-lai 92 Shiverer’s comment 93 Permit 94 Big house 95 And so forth, for short 98 “Impossible!”

99 Royalties org.

100 Tropical vine 101 Old Dodge hatchbacks 103 Nom de plume: abbr.

104 Keys 105 “___ lied” 107 Libraries do it 108 Blaster’s supply 112 Reminiscent of 113 Mattress topper 114 See 77 Down 115 Despicable sort 116 Good name for an investor?

117 “Brokeback Mountain” director Lee 118 Maiden name preceder

Solution to Enthusiasm Counts A V I 8

4 E A M I S A N 2 T E

27

99

Boxer’s restraint Open courtyards “It ___ me!”

Un ___ (a little, in Lille) Golfer’s support Fungus-alga combo St. Petersburg’s river Fanatical Japanese porcelain Little kisses Oslo Accords grp.

TV monitor?

Lodge member Orbison classic “___-Tiki” Pork portion Return to one’s seat?

Literary tribute Maze runner Intro to physics?

Sinister spirit Seat of County Kerry Tobacco holder ___ above Slangy sailor Hard work Angel’s opposite Short while Ophelia’s brother French wine region Recuperate In ___ of Fond ___, Wis. New Mexico county “You bet!”

Wade foe Violin or cello: abbr.

Scrooge reaction

T A L C

19

23

30

15 16 17 20 24 26 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 41 42 44 45 46 47 48 50 53 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72

AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 388-5406

112

121

113

114

115

116

122 125

126

APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 49

For What It’s Worth

The act of voting in the upcoming presidential election is both meaningful and not entirely consequential

A

s the presidential campaign approaches, prepare yourself for the inevitable lectures on the virtues of voting. No doubt you will once again hear that this is “the most important election in our lifetime,” that we all have an obligation to exercise our civic duty as free Americans, that voting is a privilege, not a right and that our democracy depends upon all citizens going to the polls. We might even be persuaded that our vote truly matters.

As a sociologist, I clearly value social acts that are ritualistic, symbolic and identityenhancing. I also encourage my students and fellow citizens to participate in politics, and I support expanding the franchise and opening voting laws to maximize participation. But the inordinate emphasis placed on the casting of a vote every four years — as the definition of good citizenship — deserves some serious and critical scrutiny.

First, presidential voting is probably the least significant form of active democratic participation in which one can engage. It is infrequent, managed and controlled by party machines, and requires minimal time, effort or knowledge. Those who proudly brandish the “I Voted” stickers after leaving their polling booths are holding themselves to a relatively low standard. It says a lot about the level of political engagement in the United States when those who exercise their democratic citizenship rights not just every four years, but year-round, and in non-electoral fashion, are (often derisively) labeled “activists” or simply regarded as political deviants.

Those who don’t vote at all are also severely stigmatized. But why is electoral abstention regarded so negatively, given the restricted range and quality of options? In a country that offers 15 different varieties of orange juice, and where consumer choice is glorified, why do we have only two political parties from which to choose? This seems patently un-American.

What’s more, the two parties have a death grip on the electoral political system; there is no serious competition beyond the duopoly.

As for the equally revered capitalist principle of “consumer sovereignty,” designed to give consumers the ability to reject undesirable products in the hope that the market will produce a more attractive alternative, this principle breaks down in the electoral arena. Consistently low turnout and political disaffection have done little to produce more attractive party alternatives. It seems that every four years, people bemoan the choice between “tweedledee” and “tweedledum,” or cast a vote for the “lesser of two evils.”

One could even argue that the overemphasis on the presidential election every four years contributes to less participation

and a more passive citizenry. Voting has become less a form of, than a substitute for, participation. During the interim between these managed electoral contests, people are often told that the “election is over — X won,” “stop complaining,” “[he/ she] has a mandate,” “let him govern,” etc. Does this mean that participation should cease until the next election? Or that the rhythm of political participation should be determined by the presidential election cycle? Hence, the bumper stickers with slogans like: “Is it 2012 yet?” In this way, elections serve as a subtle form of social control, limiting, rather than expanding, political activity. Elections may be a necessary condition for democracy, but they are woefully insufficient.

It’s becoming increasing evident that in spite of elections and/or changes in party control, real political influence stems not from the ballot box but from the checkbook.

Corporate interests are consistently protected while the fate of the poor, working and middle classes is left to the vagaries of the market.

Campaign finance practices and the troubling influence of the Supreme Court’s Citizens United ruling have converted most public officials — Republicans and Democrats alike — into corporate employees. SuperPACs now directly influence, and may soon determine, electoral outcomes.

Growing income inequality has further exacerbated the ability of money to undermine any semblance of democratic representation.

While populist rhetoric — on the left and the right — may be used to mobilize the masses, substantive policies designed to alter the imbalance of power between labor and capital rarely favor the former. Voting is unlikely to have any impact on this financially rigged, pay-to-play, system. By the time one is able to exert an electoral choice, the candidates have already been vetted, financed and tainted by the corporate gatekeepers.

In this context, the act of non-voting takes on a more rational and strategic cast. Rather than viewed as an abdication of civic duty and citizenship, one can calculate the relationship between their interests and policy preferences, and those offered by the candidates. If there is simply no match or correspondence, the rational action is non-voting.

A less-calculated and more symbolic act of non-voting may be exercised by those who believe the two-party system is a “charade,” and that participation only lends legitimacy to an illegitimate and financially corrupt system.

Rather than grant the system legitimacy, they will withdraw their consent and pursue alternative forms of political action. The ultimate objective might be to make elections more meaningful by attempting to change the current way in which candidates are selected and financially supported.

There are likely to be significant levels of non-voting in the 2012 presidential election.

Many Republicans appear dissatisfied with the loony cast of reactionary candidates, and many Democrats are clearly disappointed with Obama’s failure to promote any fundamentally progressive social change. Both groups of non-participants will not only have their good citizenship credentials called into question, they will no doubt be held accountable for the success of the “opposing party.” This is because the two-party system produces a particularly extreme zero-sum logic that interprets any deviation from two-party participation as a clear gain for one, and loss for the other, candidate. Rather than blaming the non-voters, or those who choose some third-party option, one might hold the candidates themselves responsible for their inability to mobilize potential supporters.

In Albert Hirschman’s classic formulation of the options facing those dissatisfied with institutional arrangements, there is a choice among “exit,” “voice” or “loyalty.” “Exit” involves opting out in the hope that the system will be more responsive; “voice” involves taking organized action to reshape the institutional arrangements; and “loyalty” involves faithfully participating in the institutional order. But these choices need not be mutually exclusive.

One can exit the electoral system through nonvoting and also exercise voice. That voice might be directed toward the objective of producing

a more democratic system, one that makes voting a more substantive act of citizenship.

In fact, election boycotts have been an integral strategy of pro-democracy campaigns in other nations. One may also exercise both loyalty and voice — deciding to participate in electoral politics while taking an active role in trying to transform the existing democratically unsatisfactory arrangements. In both cases, those exercising voice, in comparison to exclusively voting, are more active citizens.

If one seeks fundamental and meaningful change, history tells us that the ballot box is not the best means to that end. The most significant forms of social change in the United States have been driven by mass social movements challenging established political and economic institutions and practices. Some of these movements have been peaceful and nonviolent; others have caused significant forms of disruption and conflict. Some current possibilities include the Netroots and Occupy movements. The Arab Spring serves as further inspiration.

When the rules of the game are fixed, you don’t change the rules by participating in the game. Participation further institutionalizes the rigged system. Instead, you work to change the rules of the game. In the United States, this will require actions directed at both the economy and the polity, for they are tightly intertwined.

In short, if electoral participation is to have any chance of re-establishing itself as an arena of democratic governance, non-electoral forms of political action are required.

So, by all means, go ahead and vote. You may actually find a candidate who represents your views and interests. More likely, you’ll be motivated by the prospect of an unattractive alternative. But whatever you do, don’t expect voting to bring fundamental change. By itself, it never has.

David Jaffee

Jaffee is a professor of sociology at University of North Florida.

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be at least 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to themail@folioweekly.com or snail mail it to Anne Schindler, Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly.

50 | folio weekly | APRil 3-9, 2012

APRIL 3-9, 2012 | foLIo weekLy | 51

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