THINK TIPS

have a friend who just took up the pastime and he’s showing early signs of severe addiction. He texted me a photo of what looks like an urban commercial foundation hole that filled with rain water. Below the photo he wrote, “I found some unfishable stillwater in Vancouver.” That’s a sure sign he’s been bitten badly: all water, fishable or not, is evaluated as fishable or not. When all water triggers a thought about fly fishing, it’s a clear indicator of you’ve arrived at the initial stages of a fly-fishing thinking problem. The benefit of the thinking problem is that it’s not going to cause liver damage or an early onset dad bod, but it’s still most definitely a condition that needs to be managed.

From one addicted fly angler (who’s suffered with the affliction for the better part of 40 years) here are a few strategies to help. These tips are not intended to enable anyone to overcome the condition but to help an angler lead a somewhat normal life with their affliction. If Michael Scott from the Office had not already created the title for his book, the following advice could be aptly titled Somehow I Manage.

Tip one—Learn the cognitive buzz words and apply them to your situation. This will throw your loved ones off the scent of your problem and allow you unadulterated meditative time. Remember…it’s only a problem if others think it’s a problem. And you’ll only ever need to change if someone close to you calls you out on the fact that you think too much about fly fishing. Here’s an example of a mental buzz word you can use to your advantage: homeostasis. In short, this means that the brain is hardwired to maintain some sort of equilibrium. The grey mattered engine naturally doesn’t allow for an individual to stay high all the time or low for too long. It’s releasing chemicals to bring the individual back to a place of “normal”. For you though, normal involves thinking about fly fishing for extended periods of time throughout the day.

This will greatly affect your brain’s homeostasis, since one of the reasons you like to think about fly fishing so much is the dopamine release when you reflect on the time you hooked a large rainbow on a streamer underneath a logjam. It’s easy to fantasize about moments like this. And when that happens, your significant other may ask you what you’re thinking about. You don’t want to lie, but you also want your spouse to understand who you truly are (without realizing you’ve got a thinking problem), so you simply discuss how you’ve been reading more about homeostasis and how essential that is to mental health and how essential mental health is to a flourishing relationship. Work has been especially stressful lately and the homeostatic antidote to stress at work is spending time relaxing in nature. It’s a thought that’s kept you grounded through all the work stress, and the added bonus is that a less stressed you will actually allow for you to work on your relational rhythms with your significant other. Wow. If on the off chance he/ she doesn’t call you out for your advanced degree in BS, you’ll likely convert your thoughts to reality and be fly fishing your favourite stream by the weekend.

Tip two—Know when to hold ‘em know when to fold ‘em know when to walk away know when to run. Ah Kenny, the white-bearded giver of wisdom. Applied to your fly-fishing thinking problem, what this means is learn the importance of reading the room. Know when to speak about your hidden thoughts and when to keep them to yourself. You know how often you think about fly fishing. Not everyone else needs to know. If you’re at a fly shop, you’re likely in a safe place to “just be yourself.” Gawk. Drool. Ogle. You’re amongst the chosen few who identify with your shared passion. Pick up a fly rod off the rack, that one you’ll never afford. Feel the cork in your hands. Test out the flex. Then put it back and embark on

the new thought journey. How are you going to buy that thousand-dollar rod? What sacrifices are you willing to make? Will you tell your significant other your plans or will you keep it hidden? Oh, the ethical dilemma. Feel free to discuss it with the fly shop owner. They know better than anyone what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling. That’s why they own the fly shop. For better or worse they gave into their thinking problem.

Conversely, when you’re at the grocery store, an opera, a play, an art gallery or any other place that’s adjacent to fly fishing, keep your thoughts to yourself. The general public does not understand your passion nor can they. Talking about it in these places is only because you’ve formed a bad habit that will undoubtedly lead to your demise. If you’re at a dinner party, don’t go around complaining about how you’re there out of obligation and you’d much rather be standing in a river somewhere casting dries. That’s poor social etiquette. Here’s the solution. A little-known fact is that most people want to talk excessively about themselves for long periods of time. If you’re stuck at a dinner party and all you can think about is fly fishing, then find the most self-obsessed bloviator you can and park yourself beside him (sorry it’s usually a him), and let him do his thing. This allows you to do your thing. You get to nod in agreement every few minutes while you sit there and think about the stonefly patterns you’re going to tie when you arrive at home early because you’ve faked a LBI (lower bowel issue…not to be confused with the sporting world’s lower body injury).

Tip three—Figure out your sweet spot. That place where you can function somewhat normally while performing your required daily tasks. For me I thought that fishing more would help me think less about it. If I did it all the time, if I overindulged, then I’d be able to have greater control over my thoughts. But that simply led to other issues which led to overthinking those issues. Conversely, even if you fish in moderation, it doesn’t help.

For example, if you go out once or twice a week through the summer…ok and the fall too (and spring and winter), the thinking still doesn’t subside. If you have a good day, you replay it for days after. If you have a “bad day” you wonder if you’d just done this or that differently, if you’d just tried one more fly, would that have been the one to trigger the trout. And don’t even get me started on the days where you do an eight-hour float. Those are the best (sorry I mean the worst if you need to play the helpless

victim). You close your eyes after a day of pounding the banks and you don’t even have to try or not try to think, your brain takes over and replays the day the minute you close your eyes when your head hits the pillow until the moment you fall asleep. And if you’re lucky you’ll dream about it that night. Trout after trout rising to your foam hopper. Mmmm. So what’s the sweet spot in all of that? Simple. Go as often as work and family will allow.

Does it ever get better? Can you ever drive across a bridge and not comment on the river flow? Will you ever be able to go on a family holiday to Disneyland and not wish you’d taken them to a lodge in Alaska? I don’t think so. You just learn how to live with a thinking problem. Somehow I manage. Somehow you can too.

Derek Bird

I’m always willing to share a few fly-fishing secrets. My favorite fly, for example, is the one the trout are taking. My favorite season is the one when trout are biting. My favorite stream is the one where the trout are plentiful and the anglers are few.