Flourish Digital Magazine's Special Father's Day 2021 Issue

SPECIAL FATHER'S DAY ISSUE 2021

Stories and musings from dads!

This fun and interactive game will have friends and family thinking and laughing out loud!

WON'T BE THE SAME!

www.dinneranddialoguetv.com

' Happy Father's Day, to all the dads, fathers, step dads, grandfathers, uncles, and to those who have played the roll as a father. You are greatly appreciated.

This is a short, special edition I have complied for dads, including a few short stories. In addition, it includes a few stories from our last issue that we believed deserved revisiting.

Enjoy!

Chloé Taylor Brown Editor-in-Chief

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chloe@flourishdigitalmagazine.com Instagram: @flourishdigitalmagazine @chloetaylorbrown

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"The PEP helps people see the God within them—the power and excellence within them—to manifest their own reality through their thoughts, feelings and actions.

It helps them see where they are currently and their level of vibration, and teaches them how to raise their internal power, which will translate to external power."

Take the PEP.

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The Girl Who Stole Her Daddy's Heart Straightaway, Miguel A. Martinez—serial entrepreneur, author, music producer and speaker—made it known that he is a very vocal father. He believes that being a dad is one of the things he knows has brought him greater success, especially at this stage in his life. He says his three children have driven him in an organic way to be more. He's the father of Micaela, his four-year-old daughter; and two sons, a twenty-year-old and a twenty-one-yearold; and he also has a grandson.

Miguel says he's definitely not afraid to showcase what inspires him. With his daughter being the youngest, you can already tell that she is a great source of inspiration to him, because she's everywhere with him. Sometimes he takes her to Las Vegas to business meetings, or he'll do a daddy–daughter weekend getaway to Orlando or Miami. He says what he learned from his sons when they were younger was "a different type of parenting from what I do now for my daughter." Miguel laughs and says, "You know, daughters and women got kryptonite and they know it. My daughter knows it; being a girldad is a different experience from raising sons."

Miguel credits himself for being older and more focused and experienced, with the ability to love more because of his parenting success. "I enjoy it. It's just something different about a girl, though."

Miguel was raised by his older grandmother. "I was ten and my grandmother was already in her eighties when I went to live with her. She was old school, and so it was boot camp every day. I didn't get all my lovey-dovey stuff from her. But I did get some good tools, though." >

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"I was blessed with her," he went on. "Most importantly, I was ready to learn. My daughter has taught me more than anyone, and she's only four years old now. She has taught me more about women, patience, and love. And because of her I have a heightened respect for women in general, that nobody else could get through to me. But she did."

Miguel says he didn't have "that affection connection" that boys would have with their mothers growing up. He believes that set him up "from even wanting to love" as much as he probably could have. "It hurt me in ways where I didn't trust much, because of all the things that happened. But I became aware of these things, and sometimes you can't change unless you open up. That's what my daughter did for me; and I was finally able to love a female unconditionally, without any regards to anything except love."

I asked Miguel, "Do you think you were waiting for your daughter to arrive to feel, show and share this kind of love?"

"You know, Chloé," he answered. "I don't know what it was. I just know that God always has a way of preparing you for what He wants to prepare you for. And I think through all the trials and errors, I learned some really powerful things—coming from the streets, which gave me a dynamic that most people just don't have —and when my daughter was born, she was the icing on the cake.

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Miguel explains that his daughter "checks his ego," and that spills over into his relationship with his wife and his sisters. And most importantly, he adds, "it has changed my ability to communicate more effectively with my female counterparts in the business world. And that has been very powerful."

Clearly, Micaela is a very special child. Miguel gushes, "people tell me more than I tell myself— I don't care if I'm at a restaurant, if I'm at the airport—I get stopped a lot of times, because she has something about her that's just naturally magnetic to society."

This is one proud father. His son Michael is twenty years old, and Miguel describes him as "exactly who he was when he was two years old." Miguel Jr. is the oldest of the three.

Miguel says that both of his sons "have a heart of gold. They're smart and very attractive young men who can hold their own. They love the ladies, you know—all the typical things that come with young boys and young men— and I am proud of the fact that they still respect the voice of their father and their mother." >

During the pandemic lockdown, Miguel cooked gourmet meals for his wife and daughter.

Check out He's Got Flavor!

21 Tasty Homestyle Recipes for the Entire Family

Miguel goes on to tell me that he and his sons had a distant relationship when they were younger, because they lived in Virginia during the school months and with him all summer; and going back and forth between him and their mother was challenging. But they were able, "through the years, to have a very, very strong bond. I talk to my sons almost every other day, and they still rely on their father's guidance." He mentions as a proud father that both sons are self-sufficient and out of his pocket.

"Miguel Jr. actually made me a grandfather. I wanted to wring his neck at first. But things happen the way they should. He has a beautiful son, Aiden, who's four years old as well."

I wondered about that, so I asked, "Do you have any advice or suggestions for young dads?"

"I'm very ambitious in the business world, Chloé, and my daughter is a part of every business decision I make. Because it is challenging raising kids. I believe you don't have kids just to have kids. You have to be present and take time with them, and take care of them."

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Miguel and his wife Melanie grew up worlds apart—with different lifestyles and family dynamics. She is from Sydney, Australia and he's from Camden, New Jersey "from the rough parts of the street," and "she's from way out there in Australia." He laughs and says, "culturally we're very different, and I think that's why we have a strong connection. Every day is an exploration into each other to figure out how things work. And that ignites and stimulates our relationship and keeps us from getting bored. But when it comes to how I love versus how she loves, it's very different. My wife has four sisters. She grew up with mom and dad in the same house and they are an extremely close family of second and third generations interacting." Miguel describes his experience as the opposite: "in my family growing up in a city, everyone was all over the place. So you had to have some sense of willpower and belief in God—something outside of yourself to hold onto, so you didn't fall by the wayside. That's what I did."

Miguel tells me how important it is to do things differently now. "Because of this and other reasons, my wife and I both made a decision over the last three to four years, that if one of us is working, the other one doesn't. So we can have that true one-on-one time with our daughter." >

Miguel told me about how he didn't establish a relationship with his own father, a retired general in Special Forces, until he was twentyeight or twenty-nine years old. He says they are very close now. In fact, Miguel moved to Tampa, Florida to be near him.

"So, imagine: A general in Special Forces is very disciplined and stern. When we found out my daughter was going to be a girl, he was like, 'that's exactly what you need. You just wait.'" He smiles. "Some of my friends who have known me for years say I've gotten soft on them."

I asked him, "Do you really believe you have changed that much since your daughter was born?"

"Let's answer that question like this, Chloé.

You're a transformational thought leader and so I know you can definitely appreciate what I'm going to say.

"So you have a client who needs your assistance and coaching, and you can see every bit of their potential; but there is one thing missing. It seems that no one believed in them, or told them enough; so they don't believe in themselves. But you're the coach.

And you believe. You can see it. And they trust you because that's the first step. Trust is the first step to change and transform.

"Once you establish credibility, and the person begins to trust you, all of a sudden what people have been trying to do and accomplish for a lifetime, you're able to effectively help them do in a couple of settings. And literally, it's amazing what can happen when a person lets go and trusts.

Right?"

I nodded.

"You know you're being a wonderful daddy when your male friends call you up and say, 'Hey man, you want to get together with the kids?' Or 'Where do you take your daughter?' I think that's amazing." < FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | MAY-JUNE 2021 | 8

IRON SHARPENS IRON:

FATHERHOOD WISDOM FOR THE NEXT GENERATION OF FATHERS

For the past several years, I have been led to share an encouraging post or message for fathers. Father’s Day is often met with mixed emotions depending on the depth and presence of the father in the home. Many carry the echoes of that presence or lack thereof, and the echoes often resound in mid-June as Father’s Day approaches. I recently asked three fathers, all of whom I respect as men and as fathers, to share their journey. All three of these men are accomplished and successful in their professions. They each candidly shared their reflections on fatherhood. Each was honest about their journey and the wisdom they have gained as their journey continues into the grandfather and great-grandfather stage of life. I appreciate and thank Mr. Blacque, Mr. Starr, and Mr. Choates for sharing so openly.

My prayer is that current fathers and fathers-to-be will draw encouragement, support, strength, wisdom, and guidance from these reflections. Take the nuggets, gentlemen, and continue to flourish on the phenomenal journey of fatherhood.

—Paula G. Voice

TAUREAN BLACQUE REFLECTS ON ADOPTING CHILDREN Well-known for his role as Detective Sgt. Neal Washington on the television show Hill Street Blues, Emmy-nominated, legendary stage and television actor— and father—Taurean Blacque made a guest appearance on My Journey with Paula G on WATC-TV 57 Atlanta. This reminiscence is adapted from that conversation.

I have thirteen children—eleven are adopted children—so I took a little hiatus from acting, not really a hiatus, but a step back a minute to raise my kids. As a matter fact, most of them have grown up here in Georgia. They went to Southwest DeKalb and Martin Luther King Jr, High School, and they are all out of the house now.

I remember this woman came to our church, a White woman. They were trying to get people to adopt—to be foster parents—and she asked me, 'Why are you here?' And I said, 'I want to be a foster parent, an adoptive parent,' and she said, 'That is impossible. You are a male, you are Black, you are single.' I told her, 'You are wrong; I am going to adopt. Those kids need me as much as I need them.' I was in the midst of doing Hill Street Blues. I was one of the first Black men to step forward to be put in that position, of an adoptive parent.

President Bush read about me in an article, and he said, 'This is the man, this is the one I want to represent us.'

So, he sent me and my tribe to Washington. They named me the National Spokesperson for Adoption Services.

Now you see, White woman in the audience, I am still Black, I am still a male, and I am still single, and I am the National Spokesperson for Adoption Services.

Most of them were babies. It was amazing. I had two sets of siblings—my two oldest, that I adopted when they were five, they were twins; and a family of five children that I kept together, brothers and sisters. They are all grown now, and they were a blessing. God is good. We have to take care of one another. Especially our children.

Our children need us. Don’t be afraid to adopt. Me, I didn’t want to be a celebrity going around telling people what to do if I hadn’t done it myself. I had to do it myself so I could tell you from my heart. You can do it. You can do it. These children, they need us, and we need them.

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—TAUREAN BLACQUE

NIC L. STARR REFLECTS ON THE POWER OF BEING PRESENT Actor, producer, director, father, and grandfather.

When asked to participate in an interview about fatherhood and what It means to me, I honestly blew it off. How do you put that in words? It’s not something to brag about or feel proud of. You do what you do because that’s what you’ve got to do. That’s what you’re supposed to do. Whether you were taught, had a good example, or not. Your journey in fatherhood is your own. You live it, and you learn (if you’re lucky) that the more you put into it, the more you get out of it. The goal is to make it a blessing. I grew up in a household where fatherhood was more about being a provider. My father’s notion of being a father, of being a man, was to provide for his family. In his mind everything else he did outside of providing for us was extra. Spending time with us was never a big deal. He didn't have time because he was always working.

He made sure that we had the things we needed to survive, and all we really wanted was his time, his presence. I wanted him to come see me play football or run track, take us to a movie or just come sit on the couch and watch TV with us— anything to show that he was there. We never got that, and that shaped my whole idea of fatherhood and the way that I would do it myself. I swore that I would never make the same mistakes my father did! Yet, without realizing it, I made the very same mistakes my father made. I wasn't present. I wasn’t there. Till this day, that remains one of my life's greatest regrets. Not learning that lesson. Not making more time for my children.

So, for me, fatherhood has morphed into this journey of learning what is important in life—not just for me but for my children. I'm trying to find ways to prevent my sons from making that same mistake. I'd like to teach them to fight to remain present. I want them to learn that being a presence in your children's lives is everything. Yes, work hard to provide. Be the very best provider you can be; but don't let that take precedence over you being there as a physical, emotional, and spiritual presence in your children's lives. My best memories of my father have nothing to do with what money he gave my mom for rent, or what bills he paid, or what food he brought to the table. The memories I cherish are the times we spent together—going to a movie, taking a road trip, or just sitting there watching television. To see him disappear into the world of these imaginary characters on the television screen brought a whole new meaning to my life and gave me a way to escape. I didn't need drugs, or alcohol. I did what my daddy did and escaped into the television. Now I am fortunate that all of these years later, my kids are able to escape into the television and film world as well.

I have been blessed to live long enough to see my kids become successful in the things that they love. I am touched that each of my children is successful doing things that I once did during my journey. Soldier, educator, actor. These will be things they will remember their father for, things they will tell their children about. It is my prayer that they will share the good, as well as the bad, and when it’s done, they can still laugh.

I am blessed to see the next generation of my family start with my grandson, Nikai. My first grandchild! How will he remember me? Will he remember me? When I look into his eyes, I know what my journey through fatherhood is all about. I realize why we, as men, have to get it right. It’s all about Love. Looking into my grandson’s eyes is a gentle reminder of the first time I looked into each of my children’s eyes when they were babies, and the promises I made due to the overwhelming sense of Love I felt. Did I keep those promises? I’m also reminded of what Love is, and how it feels.

I am not only reminded how strong Love is, but how important it is as well. The Love of the mother is without question. There is no stronger power on earth. Her Love can move mountains! Now, guard and protect that most loved child, with a father’s Love as well. It means everything to me that when my children look into my eyes, no matter what the problem is, they know that I am there. I am present, and they are Loved. These are things that I know help make this life worth living, this journey worth taking. Regardless of the many mistakes I’ve made along the way, I continue to love, so I continue to learn. I continue to give, so I continue to receive. Fatherhood is truly a blessing, that should never be taken for granted. Of all of my journeys, I will make sure that fatherhood will always be the most rewarding.

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—NIC L. STARR

ROY CHOATES REFLECTS ON GENERATIONAL CONTINUITY Fatherhood from the eyes of an actor, producer, father, grandfather, and great-grandpa.

My days of parenting have been over for many years. Now I have the opportunity to watch my children display their own parenting talents, and I’m amazed that the process does not change over time, although the players do. The process of growing with your children as you guide them from childhood to adulthood begins with being the provider of the family order on how things are to work and not work. In other words, on establishing the patterns of family life inside the family circle and then outside the family circle. The parent is the rule-setter and the enforcer during the developmental years of the children—which can be a difficult time for both the parent and the children.

Once the children become young adults, the parent becomes adviser, sharing their experiences both good and bad, hoping that the children can make their own decisions, learning from the best and worse experiences shared by them. For the parent, becoming the adviser is more difficult for the parent than for the young adult because most young adults are at the early stage of exhibiting free will. That spark of independence of actions and self-awareness among their friends and peers often controls their emotions, which is not easy to understand.

I managed to survive both the parenting stage and the adviser stage with my children, and have entered into the respected stage—a stage where my children and their children seek my advice and want to spend time together as a family. When we have our family gatherings the older children can’t wait to tell the younger children how hard they had it and how difficult it was for them to understand life as explained by their parents. The most important thing that they remember is that they felt special because of the time spent with them and the attention they received—love. It is amazing how time has the ability to soften the events of the past and helps us to understand what is important—to see that we cared for each other then and now!

So, from the eyes of a Great-grandpa, I see the unbroken line of love that a parent has for his children, and how that love and respect is passed down from generation to generation. It gives me great comfort to know that I had some influence on my children, and their children—learning that life will have many up and down events, and through it all your family will be there for you. I have always shared with my children that I love them where they are, and I will love them as they grow into who they want to be. That the choice is for them to make.

—ROY CHOATES

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MY GIRLS LOVE IT!

Darnell "Naquan" Speight

One of the things I do with my daughters that I know they enjoy, and it makes them happy is fixing Sunday morning pancakes or waffles. Sunday is usually our day where we spend the most time together because I travel often. They also enjoy daddy-daughter walks. This is usually our time to dream of the future and share goals. For me, there is nothing better than knowing as a father, you're doing right by your daughter.

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KAVEH MEHREGAN

I always knew that I would be a great father but I had no idea becoming a father would change my life forever. Especially being a father to my 2 1/2 years old little angel, Melika!

There are no words to describe the magnitude of love in my heart for my little girl. Making her laugh is the best thing in the world and it brings an abundance of joy to my soul. When I come back home from a long day at work, Melika runs from across the room saying loudly: Daddy!!! I miss you!!!

Then she hugs me and softly says: I love you daddy!

These moments are so special and I wouldn’t change anything for them. Being a father is the most amazing responsibility and that has truly made me a better man.

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I give my son quality time everyday. I don’t mean we play games or watch movies; he's 11 and very mature. We discuss current events like the Tulsa massacre, why the Republicans are trying to obstruct the right to vote, and how great it is to see Retired General Lloyd Austin as Secretary of Defense. We also talk about how some white people will perceive him as a threat because he will be a large Black male. His most favorite discussion point is money. He has a sizable savings account so we talk about taking care of his money, and I often point out to him that he doesn’t need a flashy car or jewelry. Some people want others to know or think they have money by having flashy cars or flashy clothes. I tell him things don’t make you, your education, personality, and your up bringing make you who you are. If people think you got money someone is thinking about how they can separate you from your money.

These are life lessons that he is getting that will benefit him in life. Please don’t get me wrong; we also watch basketball and football and he plays both sports and I encourage him. I also tell him that in reality he will win the lottery before he will play professional sports. I want him to understand the path to success is education. I ensure that he sees the positive stories ie: the story about Rolle, the Black Football star who got drafted but decided to chose a Rhodes Scholarship instead. People said he was crazy and today he is a Medical Doctor. I tell him that Blacks can do more than play sports but the media likes to tell us what to do and who to be. Lastly we play chess together and I tell my son life is like chess, you must out think your opponents and be three to five moves ahead. Be your own self-made man, and if you have any problem, Dad is here.

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Rick Brown REMEMBERING FUN TIMES WITH MY CHILDREN.

I’m the father of four children, one is in heaven now. One of my best experiences as a father was when my first child, Jade was born. It was June third, an unusually cool, crisp summer day. She was our beautiful baby girl. I was such a proud papa. Three years later my first son, Taylor was born. I remember bringing him home, our daughter was three years old by this time; she was curious as she walked around looking at the baby, and I’m thinking, “wow, a new perspective on life now.

I have a son and a daughter."

Three years after that, Justin, our angel-son was born; he was with us almost four years. Then, seven years later Joshua, our third son and fourth child was born. A lot of babies. Right?

Another proud and fun time was when I took Taylor, who was fourteen at the time, and Joshua, who was four-years-old on spring break—with three of Taylor’s friends and Joshua’s three first cousins. Yes, I took eight boys on a spring break vacation. Jade went too, with her friends, she was a senior in high school at that time. I rented the biggest van I could find, loaded up the boys and took off to the beautiful sunny beaches on the Florida Gulf Coast, a six-hour drive from Atlanta.

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It was a fun and joyful ride with the boys. Everybody cooperated and everybody was excited and happy to be going on a week-long spring break vacation.

Our routine was very integrated with the older boys and the younger boys.

That first afternoon we all went to the beach and stayed until dinner time. After dinner I took the younger boys back to the hotel and told the older boys they can hang out until 11:00 pm and to let me know when they get back. The next morning, the older boys slept in, and the younger boys were ready to go by eight every morning. From one perspective of babies being born to hanging out with them for a week at the beach, and now. They will always be my kids and I love them very much.

Don't hold back on being E X C E L L E N T

BE PRESENT & FLOURISH #LETSFLOURISHTOGETHER

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