The Jurist 2011 Issue 2

Acknowledgements The Jurist is published four times a year by the Flinders Law Students’ Association. FLSA is a volunteer, not-for-profit student association, and the peak representative body for Flinders University law students.

We welcome student and staff contributions on any subject.

Contact us at publications@flsa.org.au.

FLSA

Flinders Law Students’ Association

Editors Simon Collinson Laura Dowling Jessica Kamleh Annabel Krantz Sponsorship

Kylee Moretti

Special Thanks

Emily Cousins

Printing

Adelaide Copy

Dean’s Message

Contents

Professor David Bamford In many civilisations there was no higher calling than being involved in public life – one’s status and well-being was not solely or even largely based on how much one acquired by way of worldly possessions, but on the degree to which one contributed to the community or the common good. There are many forms which that contribution could take – from involvement in politics to participating in community organisations.

At a time when our society seems to have elevated self-interest and material possession as its motivation and its measure of success, the theme for this edition of The Jurist is most timely. For much of history alternative narratives existed – religions often emphasise looking beyond the self; most political philosophers have argued for a broader vision than individualism over the years.

Regulars .

Dean’s Message 2 Editorial 4 Letters to the Editor 5 President’s Message 6 President’s Recent Activities 7 Portfolio Update 8 Portfolio Update 10 Portfolio Update 16

Even Machiavelli, who is often described as an early archetype of a ‘cynical politician’, had a much broader view. As Tim Soutphommasane recently pointed out in The Australian, Machiavelli believed “a healthy political city-state is characterised by civic virtue. Political actors ‘subordinate all of their advantage to the common good’. By contrast, in corrupt cities, citizens and politicians regard the political arena as merely a means for gaining prestige and power.” (2 April 2011).

Features .

From Law to Politics 18 A Perspective on Young Labor 20 A Perspective on the Young Greens 23

Law Schools are a breeding ground for future leaders. At a time when politics may appear to be merely a ‘means for gaining prestige and power’, I hope this edition of The Jurist will stimulate your thinking about politics and civic life. Many, if not most, of our politicians are not primarily motivated by self interest but have genuine interest in the betterment of society. The lessons of history show that without a broader concern for the common good and a willingness to participate in politics and civic life, we will be poorly equipped as a community to face the major social, environmental, and economic challenges that lie ahead.

UniBooks Creative Legal .

Writing Competition .

Winner 24 Honourable Mention 25 Diversions .

Park Stalking Etiquette 27 The Unlicensed Ethicist: Tom Schinckel 28 Dot-to-Dot Sudoku Page Hall of Fame: Dennis ‘Denny’ Crane Review: The Lincoln Lawyer The Soapbox: Heath McCallum Our Sponsors

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Professor David Bamford Celia Le Competitions Activities Careers and Education A conversation with Christopher Pyne Chris Johnson Dominic Mugavin

Innocence and Insanity, by David Rofe To the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge,

by Brendan Grigg Annabel Krantz Is it morally wrong to celebrate the death of Osama bin Laden?

Laura Dowling Laura Dowling Truth, Lies, and the Immigration Debate

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Editorial

Letters to the Editor

A few weeks ago, Bob Dylan toured China. Apart from allowing his set lists to be censored, Dylan flatly refused to speak on behalf of imprisoned artists and democracy activists.1

Dear Editor,

Dear Editor,

I think it is necessary to bring an alarming fact to the attention of the Jurist’s readership. Universally beloved Flinders Law School Dean David Bamford looks exactly like a well aged version of How I Met Your Mother’s Barney Stinson, ie Neil Patrick Harris. This raises a series of important questions, such as: Does David Bamford adhere to ‘The Bro Code’? Has David Bamford ever been seen without a suit on? And what escapades really go on behind closed doors in David Bamford’s office?

I would like to applaud the writing staff of the Jurist for producing such a well written and informative magazine. As a destitute university student it is wonderful to be able to read such an enthralling publication for free. Also, may I say that the Jurist doubles as the cheapest source of toilet paper since Messenger Newspapers, a resounding success on all counts! Thus I am writing to enquire whether it would be possible for future copies of the Jurist to be printed on softer paper?

Yours Sincerely,

Yours in clenched anticipation,

I Hate Your Mother.

On The Thrown

Dear Editor,

2 da Edita,

It strikes me that the only thing the Jurist is missing are personal ads. I think these would be an important addition, as it would better allow Flinders Law students to connect with one another.

I’ll get the ball rolling:

Yo where da heaters in the law courtyard be at? Last week I be sitting in da courtyard, I had to turn to my girl Latisha and be like: “Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl, I be freezin’ my ass off right now!” Get some gas heaters in there or something, don’t make me get physical wid chu!

That Dylan – hero of the counterculture and author of the great protest songs ‘Maggie’s Farm’ and ‘The Times, They Are A’Changing’ – should bow so readily to authoritarianism is indicative of a broader shrinking from politics which afflicts our society. It has become common for politicians and the politically inclined to be dismissed as either cynically self-interested or unhinged. The Jurist’s editors and contributors hope to demonstrate that politics remains a vital and noble calling.

Law students have traditionally provided a major portion of the recruits for political parties. It isn’t difficult to see why: our training familiarises us with the format and consequences of government power, as well as the philosophies on which our system is built. With the abdication of Bob Dylan and much of his baby-boomer generation from political life, responsibility falls on us to reignite interest in respectful and serious political debate.

Unfortunately, political commentary has been the victim of a trend of increasing trivialisation. People who have dedicated their working lives to the well-being of our community are reduced to a pair of eyebrows, a hair colour, or some budgie-smugglers; discouraging many from engaging with the debate.

As the Weekend Australian recently pointed out, membership in political parties has fallen fourfold since the end of the 1960s, and single-issue pressure groups now dominate youth activism.2 Although these groups are necessary, encouraging, and influential, they are ultimately no substitute for broad-based political movements that address all the issues facing our country. When it comes to political parties, we should be like John Faulkner’s glasses: stubbornly behind the times. There is no shame in political passion, and no shame in expressing it earnestly. It’s time to take politics seriously again.

50yo flirty female seeks 50-60yo Neil Patrick Harris lookalike for fun times, consent not important.

Tamishaniqua

The Editors Yours Suggestively, Simon Collinson Jess Kamleh Annabel Krantz Laura Dowling

1 2

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I Know What You Did Last Lecture

Have something to say? Write to us at: publications@flsa.org.au

Leo Lewis, ‘Dylan lashed over dissident’s arrest’, The Weekend Australian, 9 April 2011, p. 17.

Julie Hare, ‘Critical Mass’, The Weekend Australian Magazine, 19-20 March 2011, pp. 12-16.

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President’s Message Celia Le Considering the theme of this quarter’s edition of The Jurist, I thought I would take this opportunity to speak about student engagement in the political arena.

Representation in the Media As law students we are all in a unique position whereby we are represented by Law Students’ Societies. On a national scale we are represented by ALSA. ALSA does much more for its members besides coordinating the ALSA Clayton Utz Conference 2011. ALSA is heavily involved in politics. In fact, media releases and making submissions to Government is one of its primary functions. Most recently, ALSA responded to the 2011 Federal Budget: The Australia Law Students’ Association (ALSA) is concerned that the issue of unsustainable growth in law school enrolments has been sidelined in the 2011 Federal Budget. However, ALSA applauds moves to increase mental health funding, improve access to education for low SES-background students, and expand funding for the regional higher education sector.

Student engagement in politics can have a considerable impact. ALSA has previously been quoted in the Sydney Morning Herald and Australian Financial Review. Quite clearly, our opinions hold significant value in our communities, and this is not just regarding issues of the law and education, but also secondary issues which affect our lives as students and eventually law graduates, such as mental health. What is evident is that student engagement in today’s ‘live’ issues and political debates is not only good for our communities, but also, the return is good for us.

Political Careers On an individual level, student engagement is a well-travelled road to a successful political career. Flinders University in particular has produced many politicians.

On 9 June 2006, a motion was moved in the House of Assembly to congratulate Flinders University of South Australia on what was then its 40th Anniversary. The Honourable Robert Such spoke about his time at Flinders University with great fondness, referring to its, ‘great history’ despite being a ‘relatively young university.’

The Honourable Stephanie Key studied at Flinders University as a mature-age student. In her commentary, she refers to Flinders University as being, ‘quite advanced for its time,’ in relation to a project that was started to ensure that anyone with the ability to undertake tertiary studies was able to access university. She also referred jokingly to one of her greatest honours as being involved with a Students’ Association as the general secretary.

The Honourable Thomas Kenyon, who studied a Bachelor of Applied Science at Flinders, took the opportunity to reminisce about his elected position on the student union and involvement with many clubs and societies.

He said that one of the best things about life at a university is all the opportunities presented to you as part of your life on campus, which is more than just learning and turning up.

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This is a most important proposition. University is about opportunity. Australian Law Students’ Association Nowadays, it is possible (although not recommended) to study your law http://www.alsa.net.au/ degree entirely online and never set a foot on campus. Regrettably, it is questionable whether this type of learning leaves room for student FlindersOne: Clubs and Societies engagement – that is a debate for another time. However, it is important http://www.flindersone.edu.au/ is that we find ways to remain engaged, despite the shift in learning delivery. Undertaking activities beyond your degree can be a stepping-stone to your future career, especially a lively political career. I encourage you to follow the links above to learn more about ALSA and the clubs and societies at Flinders University.

Wishing you well over the mid-year break, Celia Le

President’s Recent Activities April 7 Attended Teaching & Learning Committee meeting as a student representative.

Attended FlindersOne Board meeting.

April 8 Attended the Charlie Sheen Bi-Winning pub-crawl April 12 Represented FLSA at the Law School Prize Giving Ceremony.

April 18 Attended South Australian Law Students’ Association (SALSC) meeting to discuss

tri-varsity Law Dinner, tri-varsity competitions, and welcome the new Executive Director

(Flinders), Sarah Graham.

April 28 Attended meeting with the Dean of the School of Law to discuss sending

competitors to Australian Law Students’ Association Clayton Utz Conference 2011 (Sydney).

April 29 to Attended Australia Law Students’ Association Council in Newcastle with the Vice President, May 1 where we met with Presidents and Vice Presidents from Law Student Societies from

Australia and New Zealand.

May 1 Successfully made a joint bid, with the President of Adelaide University Law Students’

Society and University of South Australia Law Students’ Association, to hold the next

meeting of the Australian Law Students’ Association Council in Adelaide. The three South

Australia Law Student Society Presidents will convene ALSA Council in October.

May 9 Attended, with the Executive, a staff and student morning tea.

May 10 Supported our competitors by attending the Semi-Finals of the Kelly & Co. Open Moot.

May 16 Lead the FLSA team at the JusticeNet SA Walk for Justice.

Attended SALSC meeting to discuss Tri-Varsity Law Dinner and Tri-varsity Competitions.

May 17 Supported our competitors by attending the final of the Colthorpe Lawyers Witness Examination.

May 19 Attended FlindersOne Board meeting.

May 21 Attended the annual FLSA Candyland Law Ball.

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FLSA Merchandise!

Portfolio Update Competitions Recent Developments The past few weeks have seen the Competitions Portfolio launch from the recent closing of registration to the Semi Finals of the Kelly & Co. Lawyers Open Moot and Colthorpe Lawyers Witness Examination being held over the past two weeks. While the field of competitors has been smaller in this semester, we have seen some excellent competition, particularly from those who have only entered for their first attempt. The Competitions Team is now looking to the horizon for the upcoming Grand Finals. We would like to thank all competitors for their involvement in the competition, and wish all the grand finalists the best of luck in Week 12!

Kelly & Co. Lawyers Open Moot Semi Final The Semi Final saw competitors arguing a constitutional challenge to the doctrine of advocates immunity before a formidable bench, comprising of the Honourable Justice Kelly and Justice Vanstone of the Supreme Court of South Australia and Fiona Stephenson of Kelly & Co. Lawyers. The members of the Bench noted how impressed they were with the legal ability and advocacy calibre of all competitors involved.

We would like to congratulate all competitors on a good effort in the final, particularly some of our newest first year students, proving themselves among the best in an area never previously studied.

Colthorpe Lawyers Witness Examination The Semi Final of the Witness Examination was held before the Honourable Judge Tilmouth of the District Court of South Australia, along with our sponsors Ross Colthorpe and Gerry Bowen, in a dispute over a charge in cultivation of cannabis.

The tough panel gave some valuable pointers to competitors at the end of the round.

Again we would like to congratulate all of the competitors involved in demonstrating their impressive legal advocacy skills.

Want to offset the winter chill or invest in the closest thing to a university uniform?

Paper Presentation The Paper Presentation competition is just getting underway with the Preliminary Round just behind us and the Grand Final just a stones throw away.

Competitors have presented an impressive array of written papers, the majority focusing on international aspects of law, presenting them before a range of judges including our own Professor Susan Breau and Professor Elizabeth Handsley.

What’s Happening Next?

Upcoming Grand Finals With the early rounds behind us both competitors and the Competitions Team are looking ahead to the Grand Finals, all to be held in a very big Week 12.

The Grand Finals of the Kelly & Co. Lawyers Open Moot and the Colthorpe Lawyers Witness Examination are being held together on the evening of Wednesday 1 June, hosted by our patron, the Honourable Justice Lander, in the Federal Court of Australia. We are also pleased to be joined by the Honourable Justice Besanko and a number of sponsor representatives to form the adjudication panels for the final rounds.

Show your affiliation with Flinders Law School and buy a t-shirt and/or hooded jumper!

We would like to extend an invitation to all previous competitors, students and staff to attend the Grand Finals of the Open Moot and Witness Examination competition. If you are interested in attending please contact competitions@flsa.org.au for more details and to RSVP. Please make sure you get in early as places are limited!

The Grand Final of the Paper Presentation will be held at Flinders University on the afternoon of Friday 3 June. Details are yet to be finalised.

Available from the FLSA office (LWCM 2.51) 11am–2pm daily!

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Portfolio Update Activities Pub Crawl Inspired by the crazy antics of Charlie Sheen, FLSA recently held our Semester 1 pub crawl: ‘What is Bi-Cameral? We’re Bi-Winning!’ on the 8th of April. With nearly 300 people attending, we were all excited for a memorable night (it still counts as ‘memorable’ even if you didn’t necessarily remember it the next morning). For the first years, this was their very first pubcrawl, and it was great to see so much enthusiasm among them. After many mishaps and a rocky start, we saw Adelaide turn into a sea of blue shirts plastered with Charlie Sheen’s face!

The event was especially organised for the law students to experience all the fun Adelaide had to offer, and so the first pub we hit that night was the Woolshed, followed by the Dog and Duck, the London, the Elephant and ending with our favourite, the Old Exchange. The partying, dancing and drunken singing was much enjoyed by all.

It was obvious everyone was having a great night and didn’t want to stop partying, unless it was for a Hungry Jack’s run.

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Law Ball We held our annual FLSA Law Ball on the 21st of May at the brand new Adelaide Oval function centre. The room was transformed into in a magical ‘Candyland’ and of course this could only mean absolutely amazing edible decorations, delicious food, and a general gain in weight among the law school population. For the girls it was a chance to dress up and look gorgeous, and for the boys it was a chance to stuff their suit pants with lollies. And let’s be honest, the girls didn’t have pockets, but they had classy clutches filled with sugary goodness.

To further the fun, the Old Exchange held the annual after party, so the night didn’t have to end at 12. This isn’t Cinderella, after all.

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Portfolio Update Careers and Education Recent Developments First Year Representative The Careers and Education team is extremely pleased to have Melanie Edwards join us as our first-year representative! Melanie has an interest in engaging with the legal profession and is keen to promote careers and educational materials to the first year cohort. Her first task will be to undertake a survey of all first years on their education experience and to evaluate any concerns. It will be interesting to see the results of this survey, given the recent curriculum change.

Careers and Educational Seminars A concern of many students about to start placements or work in the ‘real world’ is a lack of confidence with legal research skills. In response to this, the Education Officer, Toni Gascoigne, organised for a research skills refresher course to be run by Heidi Savilla, our Law Librarian. A large number of students registered for the course, which provided many useful hints and tips on conducting successful research (without the convenience of the Flinders databases!).

The Careers Officer, Samantha Kontra, also organised a Careers Information Session targeted at students who, due to the curriculum change, have jumped from third or fourth year straight to final year. The session was run by Mark Gregory from the Careers Employer Liaison Centre, who discussed numerous issues such as how to make the most of your last few months at uni, how to improve your CV and cover letter, and what employers are looking for.

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What’s Happening Next?

ALSA Conference 2011 The Australian Law Students’ Association Clayton Utz Conference 2011 is fast approaching. The Conference, which will be held from the 8th to the 14th of July, will welcome up to 600 delegates from across Australasia. The top law students will gather to compete in six national championships in front of hundreds of legal professionals.

The Flinders Law Students Association is pleased to announce, with the support of the Law School, that we will be covering the cost of full registration for all 11 of our competitors. This will provide the best possible chance of success for our competitors, who will proudly represent the Flinders University Law School. Celia Le, President, and Shae Roberts, VicePresident, will also be attending the ALSA Council Meeting, which coincides with the conference.

Portfolio Members Shae Roberts (Vice-President) Samantha Konta (Careers Officer) Toni Gascoigne (Education Officer) Melanie Edwards (First Year Representative)

From Law to Politics A conversation with Christopher Pyne What made you decide to do a law degree?

I had originally chosen medicine as my first preference. As the youngest among five children of an eye surgeon, with none choosing to pursue a medical career, I thought I should. However, my next preference was law. That was what I really wanted to do, as I believed it was a good basic degree to have. I consider myself a humanities person, and therefore my options were law or arts. My passion had always been to go into politics, and if I wasn’t able to achieve that then I would have become a barrister.

What are your best and worst memories of law school?

When I attended law school they had automatic supplementary exams, but during my last year automatic supps were stopped. Although I never had to sit one personally, one of my friends was so shocked that they vomited. I generally found university to be a great learning time, with only about 11 contact hours a week. I was a member of the Union Board, Student Council, and the Young Liberals, and in my final year I was elected President of the Young Liberals. I would attend ski trips and also went to an ALSA conference.

What was it like to be a student politician?

Being involved in student politics provided a good training ground, as it involved getting people to do things that they otherwise wouldn’t do. It is also very personally vindictive, so it gives you very thick skin. Because we went through so much together, the friends I made then were friends I ended up with for life. Student politics was also an avenue that helped me learn what makes people tick.

Can you tell us about working as a solicitor prior to entering politics?

After graduating from law school I worked at Corrs Chambers Westgarth, which has now merged with Thomson Simmons, and I believe it has now become

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Is there anyone in history, the public domain, or that you know personally who you admire or draw inspiration from?

I am inspired by those who can overcome difficult hurdles, some of whom I’ve come across as a classical scholar, and some through my general love of history.

In the ancient era those who inspired me were the ones who did great deeds, such as Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar. I enjoy reading about people in the past and what motivated them. In the modern era, I find Benjamin Disraeli, John F Kennedy, and Barack Obama inspirational, as each have overcome significant hurdles.

Why did you become a politician?

I went into politics because I believe it is a good and noble profession. For me, choosing politics as my career was a means of contributing to society.

I personally believe politics is a lifetime pursuit, and I wish to make a long-term contribution. In terms of my long-term achievements, the establishment of Headspace is something I am very proud of.

Thomson Playford. But after two years there I was elected, in 1993.

Why do you think so many politicians have law degrees?

Lawyers make good politicians. The training of a lawyer is to see both sides of the argument. Their training involves them being given a case, and then being told you are either arguing for one side or the other – you don’t get a choice. Politics is similar.

It involves the same specific type of training. Legal training is also useful in politics when dealing with legislation, which is not difficult if you are trained as a lawyer, but it can be confronting for those without law degrees. However, most politicians do not come from a legal background and are mainly from teacher and union backgrounds.

You are heavily involved in the media. Do you have any thoughts about the importance of the media, and what do you like most about it?

The media plays an important role in politics. We have a symbiotic relationship with them, like the hippo and the bird on its back, but who knows which is which! It can be both constructive and destructive. The media is also a useful tool in our gladiatorial battle with the Labor Party, which we use a lot. In turn, it can be used to spear the opposition.

schools to enjoy the same level of support. I believe that increasing autonomy will result in better quality teachers. Parents are prepared to pay thousands of

dollars to send their children to non-government schools. There must be a reason they are paying for something they can get for free. One of those things is the autonomy in non-government schools.

Which AFL team do you barrack for?

The Crows! Redlegs supporters don’t support Port Power.

––––– Christopher Pyne was elected to the Federal House of Representatives for the seat of Sturt in 1993, at the age of 25. Christopher is currently the Shadow Minister for Education, Apprenticeships, and Training and Manager of Opposition Business in the House of Representatives.

What projects you are currently working on?

As shadow education minister I have a particular passion for introducing more autonomy in government schools. Furthermore, I want children with disabilities in government and non-government

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A Perspective on Young Labor Chris Johnson Mention to your friends that you’re a member of a political party, and more likely than not you will be met with a confused grimace, an awkward silence – and after the standard “oh, which one – Labor or Liberal?” response – a risk of being relegated to the “nerd” category for the remainder of your friendship.

That is, however, until you tell them that your involvement is in the youth wing of that party.

Ask most young people their opinions, and inevitably those opinions will turn to social and political issues. Despite the stereotype, those of us under thirty are often the most impassioned, vocal, and socially switched-on demographic of all.

If you’re one of these people, then joining Young Labor is probably for you.

Australian Young Labor (AYL) is the youth wing of the Australian Labor Party.

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State and Federal Labor Councils and Conventions, and it regularly gets its motions and resolutions implemented into the policy platform.

Socially, AYL meets monthly at a pub in the city to pass motions and debate policies (with bar meals and beer aplenty), and regularly holds social events like dinners, pub crawls, and fundraisers. State and Federal MPs are invited as guest speakers or hosts.

For those of you who’ve watched way too much West Wing and dream of one day holding a seat in a chamber, AYL holds an annual “Mock Parliament” in cooperation with the Young Liberals. One night a year both “parties” hold a simulated Parliamentary Question Time in the House of Assembly on North Terrace. Both sides take turns in “Government” and “Opposition” and a Member of Parliament from each party (often a senior minister or frontbencher) will adjudicate as Speaker when their side sits in government.

For those of you with a social conscience, AYL is the perfect place for you to come and have your voice heard; and for those of you with political ambitions, AYL is the proving ground for your future political career. Many Federal and State Labor MPs got their start in Young Labor - Julia Gillard, Kate Ellis, Penny Wong, Amanda Rishworth, Tom Koutsantonis, Tom Kenyon and Chloe Fox (many of them Flinders graduates!), [and yours truly] are all former officeholders or senior members of AYL.

The whole night is great fun for both Young Labor and the Young Liberals, and post-fight we all meet for drinks afterwards in Parliament’s Balcony Room upstairs.

All Labor Party members under the age of 26 are automatically members of AYL, and the wing enjoys substantial influence and input into ALP policy.

Young Labor elects delegates to represent it at both

Chris Johnson is a former Young Labor ALP State Council Delegate. He is currently Secretary of John Hill’s ALP sub-branch, and he works part-time for State MP Alan Sibbons (Mitchell).

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If any of this sounds like something you’d like to be involved in, feel free to give me a call on 0411 726 294 for details on how to join, or visit the ALP website at http://www.sa.alp.org.au/. Feel free to join our Flinders Uni Labor Club on Facebook too!

A Perspective on the Young Greens Dominic Mugavin The Greens are the fastest growing party in Australian politics, and with good reason. More and more people are realising that not only are the two major parties out of solutions, they’re too often ignorant of the problems. On 21 August 2010, 1.5 million people voted for the Australian Greens, and here’s why.

The Australian Greens are practical, progressive and innovative.

The Greens look for practical, cost effective solutions to existing problems. The Greens propose a national scheme similar to Medicare, but for teeth; a fairer tax system, including a strong tax on mining companies; and efficiently pricing resources like water. These are all solutions for which the time has come. This is much in the same way that the Greens were pushing for paid parental leave, years before the major parties.

The Greens are policy innovators. Sometimes new ideas are needed for existing problems. An intercity high speed rail system would not only increase productivity, it would also decrease carbon emissions. Similarly setting up a national container deposit scheme has countless benefits.

As well as representing constituents, the Greens speak on behalf of those who wouldn’t otherwise get much of a say inside parliament: children, refugees, students, individuals and families living in poverty and, of course, our natural environment.

The Greens have a proud history of standing up for what is right, not just what is easy.

Dominic Mugavin is the Secretary of the South Australian Young Greens.

The Greens are proud to campaign on progressive policies. On issues like marriage equality, where South Australian Greens’ Senator Hanson-Young’s bill to amend the Marriage Act remains on the table in the Senate, waiting for agreement on a conscience vote from all parties, the Greens are far ahead of the other parties. The Greens are the only party that want to lift the level of Australian overseas aid to a minimum of 0.7% of gross national product immediately.

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UniBooks Creative Legal Writing Competition Winner: Innocence and Insanity, by David Rofe Innocence and Insanity is the winner of the first UniBooks Creative Legal Writing Competition.

Congratulations to David Rofe for his intriguing fictional exploration of a much-discussed aspect of criminal law.

–––––

T

he analyst wants to know about my childhood.

My lawyer told me to just act crazy for the analyst, and he would plead insanity for me. I told the analyst about the time I got a dog. When I was nine, I had seen one in a pet shop with a sign next to it saying, “as innocent as a person can get”.

“Dad,” I later asked. “Can I get a puppy?’

“A dog?” He looked down at me from the kitchen bench. “What do you need a dog for?”

“I dunno. I just want one.”

“No,” he stated. “You’re not getting a dog.” He just went back to reading the newspaper. I cried myself to sleep that night.

A while later, I saw a sign by my school saying ‘cheap puppies’. I went to the house where it said the dogs were and I knocked on the door. Rust coloured the roof of the house and grey peeled from the window sills. An old lady opened the door and let me in.

She walked me out to the back of her house, past her garden and into a shed. She pointed to a large cardboard box. Six puppies were inside and I chose the one that was sleeping.

I

carried the puppy home. My arms found it difficult to contain whilst it moved. I looked down at the cracks in the pavement moving beneath my feet and then looked back to the puppy. When I got home, I hid it under my bed in my room, but my mother heard it crying that night. She told my father. He came into my room, put the puppy in a hessian bag and hit me. He said to get rid of it, that he hated it. I told him I didn’t want to. He made me carry the bag with the puppy in it from my room to our backyard. It was trying to get out. He told me to put it on the plastic table and I did so. After judging the height between me and the table, he told me to put the puppy on the ground. He picked up the spade leaning by the back door. At first, he gave me the spade to hold but it was too heavy. He then got the rake and gave it to me which was lighter. He told me that because I got a puppy when he told me not to, I had to learn my lesson and kill it. He said that if I didn’t hit the bag, that he would hit me with the spade. I heard the puppy crying in the bag.

I started crying and I dropped the rake and so he hit me hard across my shoulder blades. I closed my eyes and heard his voice screaming at me to kill the puppy. I picked up the rake and hit the bag with the wooden end of the rake. I hit the bag. I hit the bag again and again until it no longer moved. I hadn’t thought of a name for the puppy.

My lawyer thinks they’ll believe me if I cry when I tell the story. I told him that it really happened and that I didn’t cry when I told it to the analyst. The lawyer just stared at me.

–––––

“How much money do you have?” she asked.

“A five,” I said, pulling it out of my pocket.

“That’s good enough.”

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The editors wish to thank UniBooks for sponsoring this competition. Look out for more creative writing contests in future editions of The Jurist.

Honourable Mention: To the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, by Brendan Grigg The streets of Westminster were athrong with a crowd of cheering Brits, staunchly proud when dashing Prince William with a smile, hand in hand with Kate walked down the aisle.

The people strained their necks just a little longer for a peek at Posh ‘n’ Becks and the King of Tonga.

With a family resemblance strong: chins pointy and rather noses long, inbred European royals all gathered to impress: descended one and all from Victoria, Empress and hoped, in hat and glove, that Kate would give the gene pool quite a shove.

The Princesses York were a milliner’s delight, when at the wedding they looked a fright.

Beatrice: her dress all beige and neat, on her head sat a large toilet seat.

And young princess Eugenie, her hat the toilet brush, emerged from the carriage, only slightly to blush.

Anne, the Princess Royal determined the day not to spoil.

At the wedding so fine she arrived looking most equine.

The Queen herself, at the Abbey so dreary, appeared in a yellow ever so canary.

Who didn’t attend? Naughty Aunt Fergie.

Must’ve been home with the “dreaded lurgie.”

And the Crown Prince of Bahrain, to attend did refrain.

He stayed at home, again and again all forms of democracy viciously to constrain.

At the wedding breakfast repast, Many guests were aghast When from Edinburgh the Duke said with a nasty rebuke of the masses at the gate, “Let them eat cake!”

In attendance PM Julia and our first bloke.

Upon “God Save the Queen!” she surely did choke!

So far from our shores, did it give her pause to see all of this: so royal and serene?

Did she ever ask herself, “Do we still need the Queen?”

The Jurist – Issue 2, 2011 27

Park Stalking Etiquette Annabel Krantz Stalk [stawk] – verb (used without object) 1. To pursue or approach prey, quarry, etc., stealthily 2. To proceed in a steady, deliberate, or sinister manner.

Flinders University has its very own set of laws when it comes to parking. This is most important for Law, Commerce and Education students, for whom the quest for a park can become a battle to the death, more or less.

To avoid unnecessary car park conflict, stalking is encouraged. Leave your binoculars and night vision goggles at home though, because all you need for this kind of stalking is a vehicle and an annoying tendency to doggedly pursue someone through a car park.

Park stalking officials do not endorse reckless park stalking! There are rules. Rules that are in place for your safety (and convenience). Learn them. Live them. Love them.

The Rules of Park Stalking 1. Know When to Stalk Park stalking is not for those of you who turn up halfan-hour early for class and have more than enough time to find a park. Slowly following someone to a park, and letting the traffic build up behind you is just annoying when you’ve got a good chance that you’d find a park soon anyway, when the ten-to rush starts!

Park stalking is only acceptable when it’s on the o’clock, you’re late to class, and only a few stragglers are still wandering into the car park to get back to their car. In this situation, things are much more urgent, and it’s every man/woman for themselves.

Stalk away! Annoying people who are waiting behind you is a small price to pay.

2. Make your Intentions Clear When stalking…

Do not let people misunderstand: you are not just slowly ambling endlessly around the Flinders

car parks because you are enjoying the wonderful eucalypt scenery. You have a much more important purpose: you want a damn park! And preferably, you don’t want to have to trek all the way from the depths of Siberia!

So, make eye contact with the person you’re stalking.

Perhaps raise an eyebrow, silently asking them if they’re headed to their car or not.

When being stalked…

Please do not just ignore the car that is slowly driving behind you. Yes, it’s creepy and often awkward. Yes, it’s annoying being pressured to walk quickly up the hill. But, spare a thought for the poor driver who is desperate to find a park in time for class.

Make eye contact and shake or nod your head to let them know whether they have to continue the futile search for a park, or whether they can finally relax their grip on the wheel.

Also…

Make it clear where you’re headed! There is nothing more annoying than stalking someone for five minutes, only to see them cut across to the other side of the car park, pull out and watch the spot be grabbed by some annoying driver who gets there first.

3. Be warned: Do not overstep the line…

By which we mean do not continue to stalk said savior after they have climbed into their car. This is more in the realm of the binoculars and night vision goggles stalking, which falls outside the jurisdiction of park stalking officials.

We sincerely hope you have benefited from this reminder of the dos and don’ts of stalking at Flinders. Use your ability to creep people out in a car park as an invaluable tool when running late.

Live long and prosper park stalk.

Flinders Official Park Stalking Officials

The Jurist – Issue 2, 2011 29

The Unlicensed Ethicist Tom Schinckel Is it morally wrong to celebrate the death of Osama bin Laden?

One Sunday night a few weeks ago, a group of Americans crowded around the White House in celebration of the news that Osama bin Laden, the mastermind of the September 11 terrorist attacks, had been killed by US forces in a raid on his compound.

bloodthirsty desire to seek vengeance for the murder of his aunt and uncle? Who told their children that Wedge’s dancing was insensitive and portrayed him as a unhinged war-monger? None of you. Because joy in the face of victory over evil is not and should never be something to be ashamed of.

They cheered. They sang. They waved American flags.

Apparently, Miley Cyrus’ Party in the USA featured at one point. Noticeably absent from the American celebration was the burning of effigies, the Koran or national flags, attacks on foreign embassies, firing guns in the air, the dragging of human corpses through the street and other common features of a celebration or protest in Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Somalia or the Palestinian territories.

There come rare times in human history when evil is of such insidious size and nature that it cannot be overcome by civilized means, and good men and women must take up arms against it. And when they succeed, it is a cause for celebration.

The crowd, from news reports, was diverse. Liberal college students and conservative congressional staffers. First generation immigrants from Africa and New Englanders who could probably trace their heritage back to the pilgrims. They were happy, relieved, excited. They’d had a clear, undeniable victory in a ten-year war in which the United States’ successes could be more readily be coloured as ‘non-defeats’. The man directly responsible for the cold-blooded murder of thousands of their innocent countrymen had finally faced the harshest of consequences for his crime. They had come one solid and undeniable step closer to peace.

Unsurprisingly, many Australians – voicing their opinions on Facebook, talk radio and in person – did not approve of this reaction. How could you celebrate the death of anyone, regardless of what they have done? Americans, apparently, had once again shown themselves to be arrogant bloodthirsty, vengeful warmongers.

But are they? Let’s consider the ultimate modern treatise on the struggle of good and evil.

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Celebrations in front of the White House, 1 May 2011.

I am referring to Star Wars (the original trilogy, of course).

At the end of the Return of the Jedi, the Rebels found themselves very much in a situation similar to what the Americans find themselves in today.

They had killed the figurehead of their enemy, scoring a major and unequivocal victory with the death of the Emperor and the destruction of the Death Star. Fans of the Extended Universe would know (and viewers with an inkling of common sense would infer) that the Empire as a whole wasn’t even close to being defeated. But, nonetheless, it was a hell of an achievement for our plucky heroes in the Rebellion. It was one step closer to peace.

So, what did the Rebels do, when they heard the news? Somber memorials of the fallen comrades?

Muted joy in fear of provoking the still very-real threat of the vestiges of the Empire?

Uh, no. Along with their supporters across the galaxy, they partied. They celebrated. They sang, they danced. They used the heads of their vanquished enemies as bongo drums.

Now, who of you can honestly say that this scene made you feel uncomfortable? Who questioned whether Luke’s motivations were not freeing the galaxy from tyranny but rather fulfilment of an inappropriately

– just like the surrender of Nazi military forces was not the end of the darkness brought over Europe, nor was tossing the Emperor down an indoor mine shaft the end of the evil influence of the Sith.

Victory against evil is not, in of itself, peace. But it is at best a victory, a concrete and serious step towards peace, and at worst sends a clear message that the United States does not forget or forgive those who perpetrate acts of war against its citizens. A message, I humbly suggest, that is worth broadcasting.

Rebel celebrations on Mos Eisley.

Star Wars is not a true story, but its enduring appeal is in the simplicity of the concept and the humanity of the characters. They responded how real people did and would.

VE Day celebrations in New York.

When our forefathers celebrated the victory of humanity’s closet analogy to the Empire – Nazi Germany – in the United Kingdom, the United States and here in Australia, they too took the streets, cheering, singing and dancing. Not for peace, but in, as Winston Churchill announced to the nation, celebration of the victory in Europe (he did not mention the word ‘peace’ once in his speech). The triumph of good over evil. Were their reactions inappropriate? No.

The celebration of the death of one of history’s most evil and violent terrorists by those who were the victims of his worst atrocity is not sick or inappropriate – it’s human.

Tom Schinckel is the Jurist’s resident know-it-all and a dubiously-credentialed expert on American culture. His ethicist’s practicing certificate is currently suspended after his qualifications were discovered to amount solely to a greater-than-average consumption of pop culture.

Of course, the Rebels and the Allies didn’t celebrate forever, and nor will the Americans outside the White House. This is not the end of the war on terror

The Jurist – Issue 2, 2011 31

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The Jurist – Issue 2, 2011

Medium

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The Jurist – Issue 2, 2011 33

Hall of Fame: Dennis ‘Denny’ Crane

Review: The Lincoln Lawyer

Laura Dowling

Laura Dowling

The Actor: The quirky yet loveable Denny Crane is played by the one and only William Shatner.

His Career: Denny is a named partner and the self-proclaimed “rainmaker” of Crane, Poole and Schmidt. Denny has never lost a case, his record standing at 6,043 wins and zero losses. He refers to himself as the greatest lawyer in history. Despite suffering from mad cow disease, his ability to manipulate the media and the courtroom is nothing short of outstanding.

Hobbies: Although he has established himself as a brilliant litigator, he is a multi-talented man indeed. Not only has he captained his own spaceship, he has a range of other interests which include operating firearms, fishing, drinking scotch, and spending “special time” with Alan Shore.

Family: Everything that Denny learnt about the law he learnt from his late father. When Denny first began practicing, he practiced with his father. His father disapproved of his manipulative courtroom ethics, resulting in Denny being disowned.

Donny Crane was Denny’s illegitimate son, mothered by an anonymous woman. Although Donny went to law school and consistently strived to be like Denny, he later found out that Denny was not his real father.

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Relationships: Denny has an impressive list of ex-wives. Additionally, he has been romantically involved with a number of other women, including a dwarf and her mother, a woman with a peg leg, Barbara Streisand, co-partner Shirley Schmidt, and of course his beloved life sized blow up doll created in the likeness of Shirley Schmidt (subtly named Shirley Schmidt Ho).

Despite a long list of affairs, Denny holds friendship to be sacred and far more important than his relationships with women. He is virtually inseparable from his best friend and co-worker Alan Shore.

Later, Denny and Alan became married; united as “husband and mad cow”.

Self-promotion: 2 words: Denny Crane. Denny Crane will stop at nothing to loudly trumpet his achievements, his sexual conquests and, of course, his name.

Most Memorable Quotes: – “Denny Crane…”

– “Elevators are for democrats” – “Now Alan, if all else fails and you think you’ve lost… pretend you’ve won! Works for our President.”

Conclusion: This inappropriate, egotistical, senile, but ever-so hilarious man has certainly made a name for himself. Love him or hate him, the man is a legend. Denny Crane.

Director: Brad Furman Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Marisa Tomei, Josh Lucas, John Leguizamo, Frances Fisher, Bob Gunton, Laurence Mason, Bryan Cranston, William H. Macy Genre: Crime/Thriller/Drama Rating: 3/5 With an excellent cast and a clever storyline, The Lincoln Lawyer promises to be a solid and entertaining watch. Starring Matthew McConaughey and Ryan Phillippe, it proves to be a dramatic and gripping courtroom drama. Although it has been fifteen years since his last dramatic lawyer role (in A Time to Kill), McConaughey was a surprisingly perfect fit for the typical sleazy, bottom-feeding defence attorney.

It certainly is nice to see McConaughey back in a dramatic role, rather than the witless romantic comedy roles that he has become so well-known for.

This is not the first film adaptation of a Michael Connelly crime novel, but is arguably the best.

When Beverly Hills babe-magnet Louis Roulet (Phillippe) is charged with the attempted murder of a woman who had seduced him in a bar, Mick Haller (McConaughey) is given the case.

With Roulet’s endless supply of money, likeable “nice boy” persona, and strong alibi, Haller is confident that he is able to deliver his promised verdict of not guilty. It soon comes Haller’s attention, however, that there is more to this case than meets the eye, and this seemingly straightforward case soon turns into something much deeper and darker.

A cat and mouse game soon begins between Haller

and the real killer, and Haller continually runs into the impenetrable wall of attorney-client privilege, which prevents him from rightly distributing the justice deserved. The multiple twists are sure to keep you guessing.

The Lincoln Lawyer stays pleasingly true to Connelly’s novel and is a solid movie. While the plot may seem slow at times, it is as good a courtroom movie as you will find.

The Jurist – Issue 2, 2011 35

The Soapbox: Heath McCallum Truth, Lies, and the Immigration Debate Whether it is a result of the Liberal Party’s fear mongering or the ALP’s blundering mistakes, few issues of recent times have created as much emotion as that of asylum seekers. It has been the front page of every second newspaper (at least if you ignore the Royal Wedding) for the past year, and it has become an issue I deeply care about since I volunteered in the Christmas Island and Curtin detention centres last year.

men. They generally leave their families in Pakistani refugee camps and intend to complete split-family applications to have them brought to Australia after receiving visas. Their stories are more horrific than most Australians can imagine, and their demeanour is nothing but appreciative toward us. Most feel guilty that they are wasting tax dollars with their incarceration, and all they want is to get to Australia, pay their taxes, and contribute to society.

Many people ask me what something like Christmas Island Immigration Detention Centre looks and feels like. First of all, the main centre on the island (known as North West and only housing adult males) is huge. Two central soccer pitches are surrounded by different compounds. Most are accommodation, but there is one recreational compound and an admin block. Satellite compounds were created when numbers skyrocketed and one, known as Marquee, is simply that – marquees filled with dozens of bunk beds. The other compounds house two men to a 3x4m room. Ten metre high fences surround each compound, and the entire centre is surrounded by a 15 metre high electric fence.

Clients (as we called them) were locked down for parts of the day to be counted and were let out when that was completed. There were about 2400 clients (over double the number the centre was built for) in the centre late last year and about one boat was arriving per week.

While the major parties have a lot to answer for, the media is the main culprit in what seems to be a campaign of misinformation that panders to the perceived racist majority of Australians. The perfect example of this is the media coverage of the proposed Inverbrackie community detention centre late last year. While there is no doubt there was a lack of consultation by the Government and too little information was supplied to the community, the response was nothing short of shocking and insulting. Residents holding placards with racist slogans like ‘Go home we are full’ and ‘Terrorists out of Adelaide’ filled our news outlets. It should be mentioned that there is easy access to TVs in the detention centres.

My first point is that these are not horrible people.

They are not terrorists, they are not extremist Muslims, and they are not going to create crime waves when they enter Australian society. The average wait in detention centres at the moment is around a year, and with the cost of the smuggling process over US$15,000 there are far easier ways for wouldbe terrorists to enter Australia (like overstaying a tourist visa). The men I met in the detention centres were some of the kindest, most humble people I have met in my life. They are generally fathers or eldest sons from farming families, or educated single

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Once the town hall meetings started, it seemed as though everyone in the Adelaide Hills had a racist knee-jerk response to the proposed centre.

As the confusion settled and the issue dropped off the tabloid front pages, the facts drifted to the surface. A survey made at the first town hall meeting revealed an interesting statistic: only 20% of residents opposed the centre’s creation. The key concerns were pressure on schools and on the local health system – completely legitimate concerns that were answered by planned operator Serco. The media was responsible for blowing the issue out of proportion, and without their sensationalism it is doubtful that the racist response would have occurred at all. The fears about the Inverbrackie Centre proved to be unfounded – the health and education systems were not flooded, crime rates did

not rise and the ‘Australian way of life’ (whatever that is) was not threatened.

This year has seen a great increase in protests and riots in the centres and there is one question that hasn’t been addressed by the media – ‘why’? There is no doubt refugees have legitimate reasons to complain – especially those who have been in the centres for up to a year with a serious lack of communication and little progress on their applications. There are often legitimate legal objections, but these cannot be heard because there is simply no outlet. They are not given legal advice beyond that provided by NGOs and volunteers, and they have limited access to formal complaint mechanisms like the AAT (in fact these are expressly discouraged, in lieu of the Refugee Review Tribunal, or – even better – doing nothing).

The two main centres are both built far from civilisation – Christmas Island and Curtin (4.5 hours from Broome) – and every effort is made to separate the clients from reality. They are given very limited time on both computers and phones (about 20 minutes a day), and any time they choose to spend contacting the media or making complaints to the government is at the detriment of contacting their friends and family.

It is also worth thinking about who asylum seekers actually are. They are generally 18-35 year old men, and they have huge amounts of free time. They are forced into confined areas with people they do not know, and are expected to sit quietly and wait.

If you put any group of young men in a place they do not want to be, for months of unfair treatment without any legitimate outlet for their frustrations, I guarantee that you will see frustration boiling over into anger. I think it is remarkable that riots have happened as infrequently as they do.

The final rant I would like to have on this issue is the perception that asylum seekers are going to flood Australia and drain Centrelink. This is completely incorrect for two reasons. Firstly, the number of people we are talking about is tiny. There were 208,921 permanent migration additions in the 2009-2010 financial year, and of these 9856 were on humanitarian grounds. It is inconceivable that so much attention is paid to such a small amount of people.

Secondly, asylum seekers are some of the hardest working people in Australia. The same concern was raised in light of the influx of Vietnamese migrants following the fall of Saigon, but has anyone met a single lazy Vietnamese migrant living off social security payments? The fact is, these people recognise that they were saved by Australia and feel that they owe a great debt to the country. They will happily pay taxes and raise a family, because that was the very thing they wanted when they decided to flee their countries in the first place.

Heath McCallum volunteered with the Australian League of Immigration Volunteers, and continues to volunteer with Australian Red Cross (whose opinion he does not represent).

The Jurist – Issue 2, 2011 37

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