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An Elephant of a Book I’m writing again about The Tangible Past in Athens, Georgia, because it has so much in it that it is impossible to describe in one short column, even two; indeed, the book contains as many pages as this column has words. This will be another inadequate effort; to get the full effect, you just have to buy one for yourself or go in with a couple of friends and get one to share. OK, here are just a few more highlights. You may have heard rumors that Thomas Street, at the east end of downtown, was once lined with mansions. Well, the editor of this book, Charlotte Thomas Marshall, had heard those rumors, too, and she started poking around. (As her earlier Oconee Hill Cemetery of Athens, Georgia, Volume 1 attests, she knows how to find where the bodies are buried.) Charlotte has not only recreated Thomas Street in all the glory of its houses and families, she has also turned west and done the same for Pulaski Street. So, this book gives you a fine grasp of downtown when it was a grand residential district rich in architectural treasures, many of them shown in photographs. Hubert McAlexander unravels confusion concerning the early houses along Oconee Street as it climbs up from the river. Then he goes to the other side of downtown and details the growth spurt that resulted from additional university-owned lots being released for sale, opening up the hill now traversed by Dearing and other streets running up to Milledge.
from the blogs HOMEDRONE: Check out a three-part photo essay on local band Swamp. GRUB NOTES: Get the scoop on all the latest restaurant openings and closings. Plus, where to pick up holiday takeout. HOMEDRONE: Read news editor Blake Aued’s reviews of music editor Gabe Vodicka’s year-end Top 10 albums list.
athens power rankings: DEC. 22–JAN. 4
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Athens Power Rankings are posted each Monday on the In the Loop blog on flagpole.com.
Corner of Chase and Boulevard
The home of Monroe Bowers Morton, the prominent Athenian who built the Morton Theatre, faced Prince Avenue at its intersection with Milledge, where Flowerland is now—an African American family on one of Athens’ most exclusive streets in the Jim Crow era.
Pete McCommons firstname.lastname@example.org
— John Huie
EDITOR & PUBLISHER Pete McCommons ADVERTISING DIRECTOR & PUBLISHER Alicia Nickles PRODUCTION DIRECTOR Larry Tenner ADVERTISING SALES Anita Aubrey, Jessica Pritchard Mangum, Andrea Craven-Holt MUSIC EDITOR Gabe Vodicka CITY EDITOR Blake Aued ARTS EDITOR & DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Jessica Smith CLASSIFIEDS & OFFICE MANAGER Stephanie Rivers AD DESIGNER Kelly Hart CARTOONISTS Lee Gatlin, Missy Kulik, David Mack, Jeremy Long, Clint McElroy ADOPT ME Special Agent Cindy Jerrell CONTRIBUTORS Thomas Bauer, David Chandler, Liz Conroy, Bowen Craig, Tom Crawford, John Fernandez, Patrick Goral, Jim Hawkins, John Huie, Connor Kythas, Lisa Majersky, Tifton B. Merritt, Montu Miller, Nate Mitchell, Heidi Espenscheid Nibbelink, Matthew Pulver, Andrew Rieger, Grady Thrasher, The Townie Troubadours, Havivah Saltz, Joshua Smith, Drew Wheeler CIRCULATION Charles Greenleaf, Emily Armond, Will Donaldson, Marie Uhler WEB DESIGNER Kelly Hart ADVERTISING INTERNS Naureen Huq, Kathryn Anderson MUSIC INTERN Alexander Popp NEWS INTERN David Schick PHOTO INTERN Randy Schafer
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What started as a photo essay on the lost houses of Prince Avenue burgeoned into a 97-page history of the street, its buildings and its people, with the original idea encapsulated in four pages of 1946 aerial photographs showing Prince from Pulaski to Oglethorpe, tantalizing rooftop views of all those houses, most of which are now vanished. An essay of Patricia Cooper’s is included, about a family of builders and carpenters who came here from Vermont around 1820 and “astonished the natives with the rapidity of their work.” The Church-Waddel-Brumby House, our welcome center and oldest house, is an example of their work. Then we have several chapters about documenting houses, moving them and salvaging pieces of them. We have first-person accounts from people who tell us about Athens in the early days. We learn how the “Pink Lady,” the T. R. R. Cobb House, left Athens and how it returned. We are told about 25 houses and the different members of the Cobb family who owned them, narrated by Milton Leathers, a descendent. You simply will not believe how many large structures in Athens have been moved from one place to another. Gary Doster includes here “an annotated compendium” of houses, monuments, public buildings and churches that have been picked up and moved. And so it goes in the 635 pages of The Tangible Past in Athens, Georgia. Like the blind men grasping the elephant, I have failed again to give you an overall sense of the magnitude of this beast. It was produced by people who can’t stop talking about Athens, with all its characters: their homes, families, achievements, creations, failures and triumphs, their university, their state, their nation, their world. It is all too much to describe, but no matter. The book speaks for itself.
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VOLUME 28 ISSUE NUMBER 51
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city dope Ground Broken on Homeless Resource Center
Readiness Performance Index figures. They weren’t pretty. As a CCSD news release pointed out, local middle schools are doing better than last year. But scores at 11 of 14 elementary schools, all three high schools and for the district as a whole are down. The 2014 four-year graduation rates announced in October were down, as well. A news release announcing Lanoue’s nomination for superintendent of the year noted that all the local middle schools and Cedar Shoals and Clarke Central high schools are now International Baccalaureate Authorized World Schools, that student achievement has risen “in the crucial transition years of 5th and 8th grade,” the achievement gap for disadvantaged students is closing, and he’s formed partnerships with Athens Tech and UGA. That’s all great, and a lot of people who know more about education than I do think Lanoue is the bee’s knees. I have to wonder, though, if he’s so great, when will we see concrete results? CCSD faces many challenges, such as rampant poverty, but Clarke County is still, statistically, a below-average district in one of the lowest-ranked states for education. One of the four best superintendents in the country ought to be able to change that.
Athens-Clarke County government and nonprofit officials historic buildings and integrating a once-fenced-off military broke ground last week on a $6 million resource center for the base back into the community. homeless that’s been almost 10 years in the making. Federal law also requires that the transfer of surplus miliThe Athens Resource Center for the Homeless (ARCH), often tary property benefit the homeless. University administrators referred to as a “one stop shop,” will include a clinic, a day claimed they needed the entire campus—left unsaid was shelter with showers, washers, dryers, lockers and a kitchen, whether they wanted homeless people near their students—so financial literacy classes, administrative offices, a daycare and as part of the deal, UGA contributed $7.9 million to the ARCH; 24 apartments to transition homeless families to permanent $1.9 million is reserved for future maintenance. housing—”Everything they need to wrap around them so they’re better prepared to get into their permanent homes,” said Laurie Wilburn-Bailey, clinical director at Advantage Behavioral Health Systems. “While we have emergency shelters, we know many homeless families need more time to work and save money to prepare to live independently,” Wilburn-Bailey said Say Cheese: For people who are strugat the groundbreaking ceremony (where gling financially, health care is often Mayor Nancy Denson insisted that a photo an afterthought, and dental care is an be taken in front of a Caterpillar bulldozer, after-after thought. Nuçi’s Space is hostrather than a competing brand’s). ing a free dental clinic for musicians from Construction will be finished in July. 9 a.m.–4:30 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 8. To Located on North Avenue, the complex be eligible, you must be able to provide is next door to other service providdocumentation that you’ve worked in the ers like the state Department of Labor music industry for at least five years or and Department of Family and Children have been credited on at least six comServices, as well as on a bus line and mercially released recordings or videos. within walking distance of a grocery store. Appointments are required, and Nuçi’s A coalition of local nonprofits—AIDS Space Counseling Advocate Lesley Cobbs Athens, the Athens Area Homeless Shelter, is urging people to make them ASAP; call Athens Nurses Clinic and Advantage— 877-626-2748 to do so. obtained funding for the project in 2007, Not a musician? Mercy Health Clinic when the University of Georgia took over Buddy Allen helped broker the deal that gave the Navy school to UGA in exchange for $8 million for homeless services. also offers dental care by appointment the former Navy Supply Corps School proponly for clients who are uninsured and are erty in Normaltown. On the advice of a panel of retired military “We’ve been raising funds, talking to donors,” said Evan below 150 percent of the federal poverty line. Call 706-425officers (the Base Closure and Realignment Commission, or Mills, formerly of the ACC Human and Economic Development 4044 from noon–1 p.m. on Tuesdays. BRAC), Congress voted in 2005 to move the Navy School to a Department and now director of business development at naval base in Newport, RI. That was a mistake: Costs skyrockAdvantage. “All these [UGA] funds, they’re only going to build. Prince Avenue: The Georgia Department of Transportation eted, and the federal Government Accountability Office later The agencies are paying for all the operations and services.” safety audit conducted in late September has almost finished blasted the decision, confirming what local BRAC critics had winding its way through the GDOT bureaucracy and should be been saying all along. Super Super, Part 2: The Clarke County School District made public soon. Early reviews are positive—we hear that But some good came of it. Under federal law, educational announced last week that Philip Lanoue, named Georgia superit includes a number of great recommendations for improving institutions can obtain property on former military bases for intendent of the year earlier this month, is one of four finalists pedestrian safety. Look for more in City Dope next month or free, and a Local Redevelopment Authority appointed by thenfor national superintendent of the year, an award that will be check flagpole.com in case Santa brings Prince Avenue advoMayor Heidi Davison accepted UGA’s proposal to convert the handed out at the National Conference on Education in San cates a Christmas present. What was that about a week off? base into its Health Sciences Campus. The fix was in almost Diego in late February. Haha, yeah, right. from the start, of course, but it probably worked out for the The announcement came on the heels of the state best. UGA has done a terrific job so far rehabbing the campus’s Department of Education releasing 2014 College and Career Blake Aued email@example.com
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capitol impact The Capitol Has a New Face Visitors who come to Atlanta next month to see Gov. Nathan Deal take the oath of office for his second term will encounter a capitol complex that looks different from four years ago when Deal was first sworn in. There has been a reworking of the east side of the capitol building, and it provides a more welcoming environment for the general public. A parking deck across Capitol Avenue that had been slowly crumbling into disrepair for years is gone—demolition crews began tearing down and carting away the aging concrete structure last April, shortly after the 2014 legislative session adjourned. Where the parking deck once sat is a newly landscaped park called Liberty Plaza that will serve as a staging area for media events and public gatherings that previously had been held on the steps of the capitol’s west side. Deal’s inauguration will take place in Liberty Plaza, assuming there is not a blizzard like the one in January 2011 that forced his first inauguration to be moved inside the capitol. “The public should have a safe place to assemble, and we believe Liberty Plaza will hold an important place in public debate and assemblies for many years to come,” Deal said last month. As public projects go, this one has happened with lightning speed. In less than nine months, a massive parking deck completely disappeared and a pleasantly appointed plaza blossomed in its place, ready to stage one of the state’s signature political events. Georgia Building Authority Director Steve Stancil, who’s been riding herd on the Capitol Hill makeover, will be happy to remind you that the $4.4 million project was financed without adding to the state’s debt load. The GBA raised the money by selling a couple of state buildings in the Atlanta area that were no longer needed. Liberty Plaza will become the new resting place for monuments that are being moved
from other areas of the capitol complex. These include a replica of the Liberty Bell that was presented to Georgia in 1950 by President Harry Truman and a replica of the Statue of Liberty that was donated to the state at around the same time as the Liberty Bell. Stancil said Liberty Plaza will also include another reminder of the nation’s history, a tulip poplar tree that is descended from a “Liberty Tree” that grew in Annapolis, MD, during the American Revolution. In 1999, cuttings from that Maryland tree were used to grow new versions of the tulip poplar that were presented to each of the states. One was transplanted in Dalton, and a cutting from that tree will eventually be part of Liberty Plaza. In addition to the redesign of the capitol’s east side, which now will serve as the “front door” to the complex, there was another important change that happened about a year ago. That was when Deal authorized the relocation of the statute of former Georgia Sen. Tom Watson from its prominent position in front of the capitol’s west steps to a park area across Washington Street. Watson was a notorious race-baiter and anti-Semite during his years in the political spotlight, and the presence of his statue in front of the capitol steps had long been an embarrassment to the state. A few months after Watson’s statue was moved, the General Assembly passed and Deal signed a bill authorizing the erection of a monument honoring Martin Luther King Jr. on the capitol grounds, a project that is still in the preliminary design stages. All of these changes to the capitol’s appearance were long overdue, and I think they will ultimately enhance Georgia’s image. If Deal is giving any thought to the legacy he will leave behind as governor, that’s one achievement he can be proud of. Tom Crawford firstname.lastname@example.org
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Todd Grantham and Mark Richt, in happier times.
The What Bowl?
How Georgia Ended Up in Charlotte and Why You Should Care Well, at least it beats Shreveport. Georgia fans are, to put it mildly, not too excited about playing in the Belk Bowl in Charlotte, NC. But don’t lie—y’all are going. It’s only three hours away, after all. As we’ve done the past few seasons, Flagpole is here to irreverently answer your (imaginary) questions about Bulldog football.
The Belk Bowl? Never heard of it.
The Belk Bowl, founded in 2002, is so young that it never even had a non-corporate name. It doesn’t really have a prestigious pedigree, with past matchups featuring such national powerhouses as Boston College versus Navy and Pittsburgh versus North Carolina. But it gained new prominence this year when the NCAA instituted a four-team playoff.
So how did Georgia end up in this Belk Bowl?
Like everything else in college football, the answer is arbitrary, arcane and complicated to the point of being incomprehensible. Under the new playoff system, in which the top four teams face off to crown a national champion, there are six top-tier bowls and six second-tier bowls. The Rose, Sugar, Orange, Cotton, Fiesta and Peach bowls rotate hosting the two playoff semifinal games. This year, that’s the Rose and Sugar bowls. The other four bowls get their choice of the remaining teams, but some bowls have contractual tie-ins with certain conferences, and spots are reserved for the ACC, SEC, Big 10, Big 12 and Pac-12 champions, as well as the highest-ranked team outside those Power Five conferences. Out of SEC schools, No. 1 Alabama made the playoff, No. 7 Mississippi State will play No. 12 Georgia Tech in the Orange Bowl, and No. 9 Ole Miss will play No. 6 TCU in the Peach Bowl. Obviously, all three are ranked ahead of No. 13 Georgia. Now. Below the first-tier New Year’s bowls are six other bowls that the NCAA considers of equal prestige: the Pool of Six bowls. “The new Pool of Six bowl process gives us the best opportunity to address several issues that impact SEC fans, including the creation of intriguing matchups, the accommodation of travel for fans and a variety of assignments to help prevent repetitive postseason destinations,” SEC Commissioner Mike Slive said in a news release announcing the conference’s selections. “We took into account the preferences expressed to us by the participating teams and had conversations with our bowl partners to create a compelling lineup of bowl games featuring SEC teams.” The Citrus Bowl is supposed to get the best SEC team that’s not in a first-tier bowl. Ordinarily, that would be Georgia. But the Citrus is required to take the SEC title game loser at least
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once every six years, and opted to take No. 16 Missouri, who won the East (mostly by virtue of the SEC’s easiest schedule) in spite of being shut out by the Bulldogs. Note that Slive mentioned “repetitive postseason destinations.” For the past two years, Georgia has traveled to Florida to play Nebraska in the postseason. UGA officials understandably didn’t want to play another boring Big 10 opponent (Minnesota) in Florida. Next up were the Pool of Six bowls—the Outback, Taxslayer, Music City, Texas, Liberty and Belk. With its ACC tie-in, the folks who run the Belk Bowl saw a good storyline by matching up Louisville with UGA. More on that later. Here’s another, less charitable way to look at it: Georgia played its way into this crappy bowl. They lost to a South Carolina team that would go on to finish 6–6, crapped the bed against a terrible Florida squad and couldn’t put away the Yellow Jackets at home in spite of being one kickoff through the end zone from victory. A win in any one of those three very winnable games would have, at the very least, put the Dawgs in a marquee bowl game and possibly propelled them into the conference championship game and a potential playoff berth.
Dawgs fans who lived through years of “third and Grantham” will rightly wonder how he put together a stingy defense at UL, but that will only increase their giddiness when Nick Chubb shreds it for 200 yards. The star is safety Gerod Holliman, who tied an NCAA record with 14 interceptions this season. In spite of Petrino’s reputation as an offense coach, the Cardinals aren’t much to write home about on the other side of the ball. Starting quarterback Will Gardner is out for the year with a knee injury, and freshman replacement Kyle Bolin (a Douglasville product) had a nice game against Kentucky Nov. 29, but I mean, it’s Kentucky. Brandor Radcliffe headlines a committee of running backs that’s been so-so. If UGA quarterback Hutson Mason and Chubb, who’s been somewhat fumble-prone, take care of the ball, Georgia should take care of Louisville. And they’d better, for Richt’s sake. Athletic Director Greg McGarity recently told reporters that, with an SEC or national title out of the question, 10 wins is his goal for the season, so Richt—who, in spite of all his success, many fans have come to believe is incapable of winning it all—could be fighting for his job.
TL;DR. Why should I care about Louisville, anyway?
OK, maybe I’ll go. What else is there to do in Charlotte, other than this dumb football game?
The Belk offers some interesting storylines—which is why the powers that be chose this matchup. Louisville’s once and current coach is the villainous Bobby Petrino, who famously fled the Falcons in the middle of the season to take a job coaching Arkansas, where he was fired after a motorcycle wreck led to the revelation that he was having an affair with an assistant. He popped back up in Louisville—where he first came to prominence as head coach in the early aughts—in January, after a year in the wilderness at Western Kentucky, proving that not only are there second acts in American life, but fourth and fifth acts, too. UGA’s much maligned, perennially underachieving defensive coordinator, Todd Grantham, joined Petrino on the Cardinals staff and criticized offensive coordinator Mike Bobo on his way out the door—a favor nice guy Mark Richt is not likely to return. Several Georgia players—including defensive backs Josh Harvey-Clemons and Shaq Wiggins—followed Grantham up north. The defections left Georgia’s secondary so thin that they started converting their seemingly infinite supply of running backs to defense.
This is all very “Real Housewives,” but are the Cardinals any good? Pretty good. They nearly beat defending national champs Florida State—but so did everyone else FSU played.
Well, if you’re into 30-minute songs and buying hallucinogens in parking lots (and who isn’t?), Athens-based Widespread Panic is playing a two-night stint at The Fillmore. Tickets for Dec. 30 are sold out, but some were still available for Dec. 31 as of press time. If you’d like advice on bars and restaurants to check out, we’d direct you to our alt-weekly brethren at Creating Loafing Charlotte (clclt.com). Another source of information on local attractions is the Charlotte Regional Visitors Authority (charlottesgotalot.com). The NASCAR Hall of Fame sounds like a must-see. Charlotte is a very nice, new, somewhat sanitized-feeling city that has exploded with banking money in the past couple of decades. Perhaps you can simply wander around and marvel at the lack of pee-and-stale-beer odor/scoff at the lack of character-building grit. They also have a train! The Lynx is a 10-mile light rail loop. Ride it and be jealous.
On second thought, maybe I’ll just watch it on TV. Whatever floats your boat. It’s at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 30 on ESPN.
Blake Aued email@example.com
movie review THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES (PG-13) Over a decade after Academy Award winner Peter Jackson first closed the door on his surefire, classic Lord of the Rings trilogy with the nicely summarizing Return of the King, Jackson is again leaving the MiddleEarth he has so meticulously realized for the big screen. Fortunately, his closing Hobbit entry, The Battle of the Five Armies, carries Return of the Kingâ€™s sort of tale-ending gravitas, with the added benefit that, as a prequel, it opens the door on its even grander child, The Lord of the Rings. Considering how many gigantic tomes have been reduced to one under-three-hour film, The Hobbit feels stretched at three two-plushour epics. I barely recall the second film, The Desolation of Smaug, released last year, much less the first, An Unexpected Journey, which opened all the way back in 2012. Unlike The Lord of the Rings, whose narrative was so wellfocused upon Frodo and Samwiseâ€™s dangerous task and whose characters were so memorable
tries to claim the throne of the A-holes. His elven competition, Thranduil (Lee Pace, last seen as Guardians of the Galaxy baddie Ronan), is no slouch in the dick department, either. Fortunately, mankindâ€™s representative, Bard the Dragonslayer (Luke Evans, who still, unfortunately, starred in Dracula Untold), is a fairly even-keeled dude. Once two evil Orc armies show up, everybody makes up in time for one of Tolkienâ€™s patented deus ex machinae to show up. (Painting oneself into a narrative corner matters little to a fantasy author who can conjure up some magic whenever necessary.) One of The Hobbit film seriesâ€™ biggest flaws again rears its head in this final entry. Despite wonderful character actors and makeup, the company of dwarves never approaches the level of familiarity of The Lord of the Ringsâ€™s fellowship. Orlando Bloomâ€™s elven warrior, Legolas, proves such by his multiple acts of badassery and the fact that I remember Bloom played Legolas. No offense to Ken Stott,
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Smaug?! Iâ€™m afraid of Kim Jong-un!!! and discernible, The Hobbit suffers from a meandering tale, meant to be told in a briefer span than two years. An Unexpected Journey remains the most Hobbit-ish of the three, probably due to the presence of the precious Gollum. Andy Serkis should have been richly rewarded for this performance; that he has not been is nearly as unfathomable as the lack of rewards bestowed upon Ian McKellan for his collective portrayal of Gandalf. (Heâ€™s been the Grey Wizard for over a decade!) The Desolation of Smaug remains most memorable for the titular dragon, voiced so elegantly and evilly by Benedict Cumberbatch. Smaugâ€™s brief appearance in the ultimate entry highlights the first act of what proves to be the most well-paced of the Hobbit films. The Battle of the Five Armies might benefit most from the sheer amount of action packed into it. If your favorite parts of The Lord of the Rings were the battles of Helmâ€™s Deep and Minas Tirith, you will love The Battle of the Five Armies, once you get past the fact that you have seen most all of it before. This battle is not staged all that differently from its Lord of the Rings kin. Still, it is fantastically realized. Billy Connolly as a dwarf warrior and cousin of Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage) is an excellent treat. And the eventual, inevitable heroism of Thorin, Kili (Aidan Turner) and the other dwarves certainly redeems that ugly second act where Thorin
Graham McTavish, William Kircher, James Nesbitt, Stephen Hunter, Dean Oâ€™Gorman, John Callen, Peter Hambleton, Jed Brophy, Mark Hadlow or Adam Brown, but I still donâ€™t know Balin from Ori. At least Aiden Turnerâ€™s Kili gets a romantic subplot with the gorgeous elf Tauriel (Evangeline Lilly, best known as Kate Austen from â€œLostâ€?); for that, he is memorable. Merry and Pippin were infinitely more distinguishable than these dozen dwarves. One final thought before we close the book on Middle-earth again. What would The Hobbit have been like had Guillermo del Toro directed the series? Jacksonâ€™s return kept this franchise closely tied to its Lord of the Rings predecessors, but one wonders if del Toro might have injected a wickedly distinctive fairy tale glee. He remains credited on all three filmsâ€™ screenplays, but what of his vision has survived? As much as I enjoyed The Battle of the Five Armiesâ€”it is easily the best of the three and a worthy peer to any of The Lord of the Ringsâ€”could del Toro have made the entire trilogy (or duology, as it was originally envisioned) something that stood more on its own, rather than as an extension of its more acclaimed sibling? The grass is always greener, and this Battle is another winner for Jackson, who may, finally, after nearly two decades, be ready to leave Middle-earth behind. Drew Wheeler
DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014 Âˇ FLAGPOLE.COM
Athens Music in 2014 Local Musicians’ Favorite Moments 4. Nana Grizol at Hendershot’s: Nana Grizol is one of my favorite bands of all time. When Theo moved from Athens, I was so bummed that I wouldn’t get to see them anymore. This show was magical. It brought me back to my days of house shows and dumpster diving.
Editor’s note: For the second feature in Flagpole’s series of year-end music coverage, we asked local musicians, promoters and other scene folk to reflect on their favorite moments of 2014. We will conclude Jan. 7 with our Top 10 local albums list.
(Werewolves, Katër Mass)
1. Deep State at Little Kings during Athfest: Deep State is by far my favorite Athens band right now. This show blew my mind! They were the last band to play, and, honestly, I don’t remember who else played. Everyone freaked out; everyone was crowdsurfing. 2. Shade at the Georgia Theatre, Oct. 30: Shade played an all-covers set of a bunch of ‘70s and ‘80s metal and post-punk songs. They were wearing these crazy-looking all-black skintight jumpsuits. Phelan looked like some kind of witch demon. I was just standing there looking like some kinda idiot. 3. Little Gold at Hi-Lo, May 29: The touring band, State Champion, was incredible. Then Little Gold took the stage. The room smelled like corn dogs and Colt 45. This was one of those shows where, after seeing the same band a million times, they manage to freak out and play the best set you’ve ever seen.
Joshua L. Jones
1. B-53’s/Casper and the Cookies, Georgia Square Mall parking lot, Jul. 4: Was
of Neil Diamond’s “Coming to America” was pretty killer. 2. The Glands at Green Room: Two lengthy sets of old and new songs. Great show! 3. Maserati at Georgia Theatre: New songs were psychedelic and rocking. 4. Shade at Go Bar: Saw them a bunch of times this year, and always love hearing their meandering, melodic concoctions. Simultaneously dissonant and pretty. 5. Neutral Milk Hotel: Seeing them 51 times in 2014 all over the damn place was not too shabby.
Montu Miller (AthFactor Entertainment)
5. Dude Magnets at Go Bar: No one was there. Will was wearing that Fugazi tank top. It sucked.
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Help us ring in the New Year with lots of fun, dancing, hors d’oeuvres, a champagne toast & a deluxe breakfast buffet. When: Wednesday, Dec. 31, 2014 Where: Athens Moose Club Ballroom (off Atl. Hwy.) 185 Ben Burton Rd. Bogart, GA Doors: 7:30pm Dress: Casual Cocktail Tickets: Available at the door. $40/person
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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014
great to see the befuddled reactions of random mall denizens expecting to hear some more patriotic tunes… Although, Casper’s version
1. Dictator’s Circus EP: One of the best projects to come out of the Classic City this year. I love everything about this project. It is diverse, lyrical, fun and something I have not been able to take out of my rotation. 2. Blacknerdninja’s #goninjago: What I like to call “contemporary golden-era music.” It takes me back to the ‘90s, yet it still keeps up with everyday slang and culture. I’m loving the whole vibe of this album and how it makes me feel good. There’s nothing else like this coming out of Athens. 3. Ace Boon Koonz’ Middle of Nowhere: These two legends never seem to disappoint us. This project is everything it was
anticipated to be: Southern-fried hip hop that bangs. 4. Tony B’s Patience, Time & Money: This album is filled with production that is secondto-none, and club banger after club banger Joshua L. Jones
that makes you bounce all night. It’s the soundtrack to a movement that grows every week Mr. B hits another city, from Augusta to Knoxville. 5. Chrismis’ Committed Vol. 2: I would say Chrismis is one of the best female emcees in Athens, but she is one of the best, period. Committed Vol. 2 picks up where Vol. 1 left off. I can’t wait to hear what’s next from this young gun. 6. Squalle’s No Squares Allowed: This young emcee put together a great mixtape that deserves an honorable mention. It’s a breath of fresh air, lyrically sound, a must-hear.
John Fernandes (Circulatory System)
1. Dream Boat’s album release show at Ciné for The Rose Explodes. Chilling three-part female harmony, a steady pulse and waves of acoustic and electronic texture. Beautiful, spacey projections by Mark Magnarella! 2. Circulatory System’s album release show with Shade and Golden Brown. Packed house at the Caledonia before we left to go on tour opening for Neutral Milk Hotel. 3. Old Smokey’s album release show at the Caledonia with Don Chambers, Secret Europeans and Lavender Holyfield. Killer night, great performances all around! 4. Faster Circuits/Hot Fudge/ Motherfucker at the Caledonia Lounge. Three great bands on an awesome sound system! 5. Cult of Riggonia/Half Acid/ Moths/Madeline at the Broad River Outpost. Great times out in the woods!
The Wailers at Georgia Theatre: It was like watching the components of a masterfully designed clock play endless sing-along tunes. Superchunk at 40 Watt: Nice to see these ol’ duffers movin’ around on stage! Reigning Sound at Georgia Theatre: Solid Blacknerdninja as always. Nice to not have to drive to Atlanta for once. Quintron & Miss Pussycat at Hi-Lo: Energetic set from Quintron, who then immediately made a beeline to Athens Regional due to internal bleeding issues. Blackalicious/ Blacknerdninja at Melting Point: Blackalicious was great, and BNN brings an impressive, high-energy set every time I see them. Although, I still feel weird about the recycling of the Vanilla Ice/TMNT “go ninja go” chant.
Thomas Bauer (Sad Dads)
1. During Athfest, I saw Gurgle Twins playing their very idiosyncratic distortion-nausea outside Go Bar in the middle of the afternoon to some teenagers and day-drinkers. The guitarist was wearing parachute pants and had a pedal board the size of a windshield. 2: Atlanta/Athens dance-goof outfit DIP opened for the artist known as Riff Raff at Georgia Theatre. I’m not sure who got fired for this fiasco, but I know multiple arrests were made. An angry audience booed DIP. Later, during Riff Raff’s set, bottles kept being thrown, and Riff Raff, in all of his shark-faced, floppy-armed glory, began soliciting the crowd to “kill” the bottle-thrower. 3. David Chandler (Pretty Bird) started booking secret Sunday shows at The Globe; the low-key atmosphere and small audience brought new light to bands I’d seen dozens of times.
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(Burns Like Fire)
The return of Black Kids was fantastic. Seeing Kishi Bashi for the first time at this year’s AthFest blew my mind. Being introduced to Roadkill Ghost Choir at the Georgia Theatre was killer. One of my favorite albums that dropped this year was Katër Mass’ Circles. Just brilliant.
Nate Mitchell (Nate and the Nightmares)
The Zombies at Georgia Theatre: I felt everyone in the audience hold their breath when Colin Blunstone went for the high-note vocal break in “I Love You” and then exhale with reassurance, knowing he’s still “got it.”
Old Skool Trio
4. The rise in 2014 of local film company Dominar, LTD has been incredible to witness. These are the hardest-working guys in Athens, and it shows, with every new project they put out. 5. The resurgence of Elephant 6 and Athens music history in general has been incredibly overwhelming. The Museum Mix, in particular, where E6ers John Fernandes and James Husband dusted off old LPs at the GMOA, was especially moving, if only because it’s easy to forget exactly how much art and music these guys put out in such a short time period.
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Seven Handle Circus
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What Are You Doing? flagpole’s New Year’s Eve
the holiday calendar, New Year’s Eve is perhaps second only to Halloween in terms of the breadth of sounds you can find in Athens, and there are dozens of music options to help you ring in 2015. Below, seven of Flagpole’s picks for Dec. 31. For the full list of New Year’s events, see the Calendar in this issue and at flagpole.com.
Seven Handle Circus, The Darnell Boys, The Kinky Aphrodisiacs
New Earth Athens · 9 p.m. · $10 Atlanta newgrass outfit Seven Handle Circus infuses its strummy trad-folk with a disco backbeat. This is the show for anyone interested in stringed instruments but still looking to get down. Local country-folk faves The Darnell Boys and funk-rockers The Kinky Aphrodisiacs round out the wide-ranging bill.
Reptar, Shade, murk daddy flex Fresh Seafood, South Florida Style
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706-353-TUNA • 414 N. Thomas St. www.squareonefishco.com
WEDNESDAY, DEC. 31
NEW YEAR’S EVE
PARTY FEATURING LOCAL AUDIOPHILE
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Expanded Local News with Alexia Ridley
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40 Watt Club · 9 p.m. · $11 Athens indie-pop institution Reptar follows up its show-stopping AthFest set with a New Year’s Eve throwdown sure to be a party and a half. The openers on this bill are both Athensinsider (and Flagpole) favorites that you should really make it your beeswax to see if you have not already.
The Revivalists, AJ Ghent, Larkin Poe
Georgia Theatre · 8:30 p.m. · $15 The Revivalists hail from New Orleans, a melting pot of a musical town if there ever was one, and the group’s sound is all over the map: A jammy and eclectic take on the foot-stomping folk that’s all the rage right now, the band plays GATH along with Col. Bruce Hampton sideman AJ Ghent and Atlanta roots duo Larkin Poe.
Martha Reeves, Grains of Sand, Trae Gurley Melting Point · 7 p.m. · $50 Martha Reeves is known for her work with The Vandellas, with whom she recorded the everlasting hit “Dancing in the Street.” Reeves has led a fascinating life since her Motown heyday, serving as a Detroit, MI councilwoman from 2005–2009. She’ll no doubt bust out the hits at Melting Point.
Tongues, Blunt Bangs, Brothers, New Wives Flicker Theatre & Bar · 9 p.m. Catch up with what’s going on in Athens indie rock at Flicker, where four talented young locals ring in the new year. Tongues, Brothers and New Wives offer varying takes on melodic guitar-pop. Blunt Bangs, formerly Night School, is the new project from Black Kids frontman Reggie Youngblood.
Dangfly, Lowdive, Showtime, Scott Low and the Southern Bouillon
Caledonia Lounge · 9 p.m. · $5 (21+), $7 (18–20) A reprisal of last year’s NYE blowout at Caledonia, local alt-rockers Dangfly and ska-obsessed scene pariahs Lowdive join with funk-rockers Showtime and singer-songwriter mainstay Scott Low and his band for a ball-droppin’ good time.
Muuy Biien, DIP, Coombsbot, DJ Blowpop
Go Bar · 9 p.m. You’d think it was All Hallow’s Eve at Go Bar, where Athens punks Muuy Biien pose as the Rolling Stones for a strut-filled set. If you have always wondered whether stoic MB frontman Josh Evans secretly moves like Jagger, now’s your chance to find out. Gabe Vodicka
Cross-Pollination Athens AMP and Myriad Combine Art and Music
ames Warrior and Adriana Thomas saw a problem: Athens is filled with musicians, painters, dancers, photographers, sculptors, actors, writers, designers and performance artists, but rarely do creators from the different forms join together in performance. There are one-off collaborative house parties, infrequent Bulldog Inn events and curios like the now-defunct Cunny Isle Bemusement Park, where artistic multiplicities might be found, but those synergistic moments are rare and often occur off the beaten path. Warrior and Thomas aim to change that. Thomas’ project, Myriad, is “a festival of music, visual arts and interactivity… where artists can build a network, share ideas, collaborate, practice their art in public and learn from one another.” For Myriad, which has occurred every other Tuesday at New Earth, a band and an artist are coupled. “The artists and musicians are encouraged to participate through the creation of live art and interactive musical performances,” says Thomas. The band and artist are the focus for
While Myriad is a free-form “open jam of art,” Warrior’s Athens AMP is a more curated event. “Myriad is the cultivation, where Athens AMP is the orchestration,” he explains. “The purpose of AMP is to take a band and build an entire show around them over the course of two months, where we integrate a minimum of three additional mediums into their performance.” Warrior establishes the lineup in advance, and the artists and musicians weave together a thematically integrated performance. At the debut November performance, Powerkompany provided the soundtrack, while a video projectionist bathed the scene with his work and dancers and a visual artist performed aside and amongst the band, all in thematic accord. Athens AMP events will be unique offerings. The mood and character of the November performance emerged out of Powerkompany’s smooth, ethereal, synthy sound. The canceled December event would have found an entirely different aesthetic course, with riff-heavy Chief Scout providing the soundtrack.
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GREAT Customer Service We’ve been around for more than 25 years. Yes, that long. Turns out, we know what you guys need, like and want—we also know that these an hour or so, after which time “the stage opens up for an open jam, during which members of the audience are invited to play.” Thomas was assigned the task of bringing Athenians out to New Earth (soon to be Live Wire), which clings to the periphery of downtown and often gets overlooked. “I decided I wanted to do something collaborative, fun and interactive,” she says. “It’s so often that you go to shows around town, and there’s all sorts of music and all sorts of art, but on a regular basis you don’t see something that integrates both—and in a way that would interact with the crowd, would allow people to get involved and get their hands dirty.” Thomas sees Myriad as a space where artists can flourish, whether they are experienced or exploring artistic expression for the first time. (Thomas is an aspiring visual artist herself.) “Practice for Slingshot; try something you’ve been afraid to try; show off your exit exam,” says Thomas, who hopes that the active and inviting space “will inspire people who maybe have been toying with an idea” and grow Athens’ already fertile art scene.
A hip hop act might be featured in the coming months. Warrior hopes to continue finding exciting combinations to make each Athens AMP special. Recognizing the kinship between the two events, Warrior and Thomas recently decided to align their efforts. Though the two series will remain separate, organizers hope to bring more attention to both events and strengthen participation among local artists and musicians. The two have big plans for 2015. A twoday AMP/Myriad collaboration will kick off the year in January, with artists joining local bands Mothers and Tongues at Flicker on Jan. 6 and 7.
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WHAT: Athens AMP/Myriad WHERE: Flicker Theatre & Bar WHEN: Tuesday, Jan. 6 & Wednesday, Jan. 7 HOW MUCH: TBA
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DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014 · FLAGPOLE.COM
MUSIC | Saturday, Jan. 3
MUSIC | Tuesday, Dec. 30
Green Room · 9 p.m. · $5 Georgia Theatre · 8 p.m. · $15 Big changes are coming to the space Charles Bradley is the stuff of storythat houses Lumpkin Street hangout book legend. A onetime James Brown Green Room, which opens under new impersonator, handyman and restauownership and with a new name and rant cook who was “discovered” in focus sometime after the new year. But his sixth decade by Daptone Records you can help the venue go out with a founder Gabriel Roth, the self-described bang by trekking down there Tuesday, “Screamin’ Eagle of Soul” has since Dec. 30, when three longtime local rock released two powerful collections of achand roll fixtures will perform. Grungeing, energetic neo-funk: 2011’s pained groovers Dictatortots headline, while No Time For Dreaming and 2013’s more noisy guitar-rockers Hayride and powernuanced Victim of Love. A live performer pop favorites The Arcs support. Green first and foremost, Bradley cribs onstage Room has become a fast downtown favorfrom his hero Brown’s playbook while ite in its mere two years of existence, so injecting a lifetime of complex emotion expect this show to be both wake and cel- into each carefully crafted vocal line. His ebration. If you’re curious, get the scoop band, made up of capable young playon this and other venue changes on the ers from the Daptone stable, provides a Homedrone blog at flagpole.com. [Gabe slightly modern-tinged throwback backVodicka] drop. [GV]
Tuesday 23 GAMES: Trivia at the Rail (The Rail Athens) Trivia hosted by Todd Kelly every Tuesday. 10:30 p.m. FREE! 706-354-7289 GAMES: Trivia (Hi-Lo Lounge) General trivia with host Caitlin Wilson. 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-8508561 GAMES: Locos Trivia (Locos Grill & Pub) Westside and Eastside locations of Locos Grill and Pub feature trivia night every Tuesday. 8 p.m. FREE! www.locosgrill.com GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (The Savory Spoon) Compete to win prizes. 7 p.m. FREE! 706-367-5721 GAMES: Entertainment Trivia
(Herschel’s 34 Chicken & Ribs Kitchen) With Garrett Lennox. House cash and food and drink specials. 8 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/ dirtysouthtrivia
Saturday 27 SPORTS: UGA Hockey (The Classic Center) The UGA Ice Dawgs face off against Team USA ACHA National Selects Team. 7:30 p.m. $7. www. ugahockey.com
Sunday 28 GAMES: Brewer’s Inquisition (Buffalo’s Café) Trivia hosted by
FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014
Chris Brewer. Every Sunday. 6:30 p.m. (sign-in), 7 p.m. FREE! www. facebook.com/buffaloscafeathens
Monday 29 GAMES: Team Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) Win house cash and prizes! Every Monday night. 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1916 GAMES: Dirty South Trivia: Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll (Grindhouse Killer Burgers) Team trivia contests with house cash prizes every Monday night. 8 p.m. FREE! www.grindhouseburgers.com GAMES: Team Trivia (Highwire Lounge) Dirty South Trivia night. House cash prizes and mini games.
Performance | Monday, Jan. 5
St. Petersburg State Symphony Orchestra
Gregg Allman, Amanda Shires
Hodgson Concert Hall · 8 p.m. · $25–57. After a strong start in the Mirror Hall of St. Petersburg’s famed BeloselskyBelozersky Palace, the St. Petersburg State Symphony Orchestra—established as the Orchestra of Ancient and Modern Music in 1967—has been touring internationally for over two decades. Principal guest conductor Vladimir Lande will lead the group through a program featuring Shostakovich’s Fifth Symphony and Bernstein’s Candide Overture. Awardwinning cellist Dmitry Kouzov, a two-time laureate of Russia’s International Virtuosi of the Year Competition, will join the orchestra for Schumann’s Cello Concerto. A free lecture will be held 45 minutes prior to the performance. [Jessica Smith] Every Monday. 8 p.m. FREE! www. highwirelounge.com KIDSTUFF: Open Chess Play for Kids and Teens (ACC Library) Teen chess players of all skill levels can play matches and learn from members of the local Chess and Community Players, who will be on hand to assist players and help build skill levels. For ages 7–18. Registration required. 4–5:30 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3650, ext. 329
Tuesday 30 CLASSES: The Law of Attraction and Manifestation (Body, Mind & Spirit) This on-going class teaches many techniques for utilizing the
MUSIC | Tuesday, Dec. 6 & Wednesday, Dec. 7
Georgia Theatre · 7 p.m. · SOLD OUT! The legendary living Allman Brother has enjoyed a long-overdue canonization during the last few years, penning a revealing autobiography, My Cross to Bear, released in 2012, and as the subject of a star-studded January 2014 tribute show at Atlanta’s Fox Theatre (that concert has since been released as an album and movie, All My Friends: Celebrating the Songs & Voice of Gregg Allman). For his two sold-out Athens shows at the Georgia Theatre, the veteran blues-rocker will be joined by talented Texas songwriter Amanda Shires, also known as former Drive-By Trucker Jason Isbell’s better half, who most recently released a showstopping LP in 2013 titled Down Fell the Doves. [GV]
power of your mind to create wonders in all areas of your life. 6 p.m. $5. 706-351-6024 GAMES: Trivia at the Rail (The Rail Athens) Trivia hosted by Todd Kelly every Tuesday. 10:30 p.m. FREE! 706-354-7289 GAMES: Locos Trivia (Locos Grill & Pub) See Tuesday listing for full description 8 p.m. FREE! www. locosgrill.com GAMES: General Trivia (Hi-Lo Lounge) With host Caitlin Wilson. 8:30 p.m. FREE! www.hiloathens. com GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (The Savory Spoon) See Tuesday listing for full description 7 p.m. FREE! 706-367-5721 GAMES: Entertainment Trivia
(Herschel’s 34 Chicken & Ribs Kitchen) See Tuesday listing for full description 8 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/dirtysouthtrivia
Wednesday 31 CLASSES: Buddhist Teachings (Body, Mind & Spirit) Learn how to apply the teaching of Buddha to end suffering and bring peace to your life. Every Wednesday. 6 p.m. $5 suggested donation. 706-351-6024 EVENTS: NYE Dinner and Dancing with Ron Putnam (Buffalo’s Café) Enjoy an evening of dinner and dancing with Rob Putnam. 7 p.m. $12.50-15. 706-540-2779, www. facebook.com/buffaloscafeathens
EVENTS: Noon Yearâ€™s Eve (Madison County Library, Danielsville) Enjoy snacks, games and activities to ring in the New Year. For all ages. 11:30 a.m. FREE! 706795-5597 EVENTS: New Yearâ€™s Eve 70â€™s Disco Fever (Allgood Lounge) Red carpet event featuring lots of party favors. 1970s style encouraged. All night. FREE! www.facebook.com/ allgoodlounge GAMES: Entertainment Trivia (Mellow Mushroom) Dirty South Trivia offers house cash prizes. 8 p.m. FREE! 706-613-0892 GAMES: Trivia (Copper Creek Brewing Company) Test your trivia chops for prizes while enjoying a delicious brew! Every Wednesday. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-1102 KIDSTUFF: Preschool & Toddler Storytime (Madison County Library, Danielsville) Includes stories, finger-puppet plays, songs and crafts for literacy-based fun. For ages 5 & under. Every Wednesday. 10:30 a.m. FREE! 706-795-5597 MEETINGS: Tech Happy Hour (Highwire Lounge) Meet local entrepreneurs, tech talent and other fellow Athenians who are making cool stuff at this weekly Four Athens networking happy hour. 6 p.m. FREE! www. fourathens.com/happy-hour
Thursday 1 CLASSES: Yoga Class (Leathers Building) Stretch, bend and twist into the new year with instructor Sarah Dunning. 9:15 a.m. $12. email@example.com EVENTS: Healing & Meditation Circle (Body, Mind & Spirit) Learn various modalities of energy and spiritual healing as well as meditation practices. Held every Friday. 6 p.m. $5 suggested donation. 706351-6024 EVENTS: Annual Emancipation Proclamation and Pioneer Awards Observance (Bethel Baptist Church, 59 N. Main St., Watkinsville) Civil Rights Attorney John Clark will be the keynote speaker. 11 a.m. 706-338-9301
Saturday 3 EVENTS: Bring One for the Chipper: Christmas Tree Recycling (Multiple Locations) Keep Athens-Clarke County Beautiful (KACCB) encourages citizens to recycle their undecorated trees and wreaths. Participants will receive a free tree seeding and/or flower and vegetable seed packets. Drop-off locations include Coferâ€™s Home and Garden Showplace, Sandy Creek Nature Center, Chase Street Elementary School, Clarke Middle School, Georgia Square Mall, Winterville Public Works Recycling Center and the Lexington Road Tag Office. 9 a.m.â€“1 p.m. FREE! 706613-3501 ext. 309, accbintern@ gmail.com LECTURES & LIT: Make it Move: Mechanisms and Microprocessors by Abraham Tesser (Lyndon House Arts Center) The Athens Area Woodworking Club hosts an illustrated talk about building movement into projects using microprocessors, wooden gears and other mechanisms. 9 a.m. FREE! www.athensclarkecounty.com/ lyndonhouse OUTDOORS: Naturalistâ€™s Walk (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Take a hike around the property in search of seasonal happenings. Participants are encouraged to bring a camera and binoculars. 10â€“11 a.m. FREE! 706-613-3615
Sunday 4 EVENTS: Full Moon Hike (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Bring family and friends along to enjoy the mysterious world of nature at night. Includes a two-mile hike through the wooded trails and in the garden. 7 p.m. $5/person, $15/family. www. uga.edu/botgarden GAMES: Brewerâ€™s Inquisition (Buffaloâ€™s CafĂŠ) Trivia hosted by Chris Brewer. Every Sunday. 6:30 p.m. (sign-in), 7 p.m. FREE! www. facebook.com/buffaloscafeathens PERFORMANCE: Winter Revels: A Celebration for Twelfth Night (Episcopal Church of the Advent) The Athens Chamber Singers perform a program of readings, hymns, anthems and instrumentals including â€œCarol of the Field Mice,â€? â€œChristmas Time is Hereâ€? and â€œGarten Motherâ€™s Lullaby.â€? Followed by a reception. 5 p.m. FREE! www. advent.episcopalatlanta.org
Monday 5 CLASSES: Intro to Bellydance (Healing Arts Centre) Take an introductory course to bellydance with Mahsati. 7:15 p.m. FREE! 706613-1143 FILM: Movie Mondays: Casablanca (Oconee County Library) Adults and families are invited to watch this 1942 classic film set in unoccupied Africa during the early days of WWII. 6 p.m. FREE! 706-769-3950, www.athenslibrary. org/oconee GAMES: Team Trivia (Highwire Lounge) Dirty South Trivia night. House cash prizes and mini games. Every Monday. 8 p.m. FREE! www. highwirelounge.com GAMES: Team Trivia (Beef â€˜Oâ€™ Bradyâ€™s) Win house cash and prizes! Every Monday night. 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1916 GAMES: Rock and Roll Trivia (Little Kings Shuffle Club) Get a team together and show off your extensive music knowledge! Hosted by Jonathan Thompson. Just remember, Team Knockwurst rules! 9 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/ lkshuffleclub GAMES: Dirty South Trivia: Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll (Grindhouse Killer Burgers) Team trivia contests with house cash prizes every Monday night. 8 p.m. FREE! www.grindhouseburgers.com KIDSTUFF: Teen Advisory Board (Oconee County Library) Teen Advisory Board (TAB) is a group of teens who gather at the beginning of every month to discuss and plan upcoming events. Ages 11â€“18. Registration required. 7 p.m. FREE! 706-769-3950 PERFORMANCE: St. Petersburg Symphony Orchestra (Hugh Hodgson Concert Hall) Led by conductor Vladimir Lande, this performance includes Shostakovichâ€™s Fifth Symphony and Bernsteinâ€™s Candide Overture. Schumannâ€™s Cello Concerto will feature Russian cellist Dmitry Kouzov. See Calendar Pick on p. 12. 8 p.m. $25â€“57. www.pac. uga.edu
Tuesday 6 GAMES: Trivia (Hi-Lo Lounge) See Tuesday listing for full description 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-8561 GAMES: Trivia at the Rail (The Rail Athens) Trivia hosted by Todd Kelly every Tuesday. 10:30 p.m. FREE! 706-354-7289 GAMES: Locos Trivia (Locos Grill & Pub) See Tuesday listing for full
description 8 p.m. FREE! www. locosgrill.com GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (The Savory Spoon) See Tuesday listing for full description 7 p.m. FREE! 706-367-5721 GAMES: Entertainment Trivia (Herschelâ€™s 34 Chicken & Ribs Kitchen) See Tuesday listing for full description 8 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/dirtysouthtrivia
Wednesday 7 ART: Artful Conversation (Georgia Museum of Art) Carissa DiCindio leads an in-depth discussion of an embroidered coverlet from ca. 1815â€“30. 2 p.m. FREE! www.georgiamuseum.org GAMES: Trivia (Copper Creek Brewing Company) See Wednesday listing for full description 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-1102 GAMES: Movie Trivia (Little Kings Shuffle Club) A special holiday edition hosted by Jeremy Dyson. 9:30 p.m. www.facebook.com/ lkshuffleclub GAMES: Entertainment Trivia (Mellow Mushroom) See Wednesday listing for full description 8 p.m. FREE! 706-613-0892 GAMES: Bingo Bango (Highwire Lounge) Weekly themed games. House cash and drink prizes. 8 p.m. FREE! www.highwirelounge.com MEETINGS: â€œTell Us About Your Spiritual Experiencesâ€? (ACC Library) An open discussion for all faiths to share spiritual experiences including dreams. 7 p.m. FREE! www.eckankar-ga.org MEETINGS: Photo Sharegroup (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) The Photo Sharegroup meets at the Garden to share digital images of outdoor photography. Email for more information. 6:30 p.m. FREE! firstname.lastname@example.org, bc.akin@ charter.net
LIVE MUSIC Tuesday 23 Flicker Theatre & Bar 11 p.m. FREE! www.flickertheatreandbar.com FLICKEROKE Come sing your heart out with your host Jason. Singing ability not required. Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 LEAVING COUNTRIES Local singersongwriter Louis Phillip Pelot and company play a â€œmind-boggling wall of organic sound with upbeat, traveldriven lyrics.â€?
Wednesday 24 Flicker Theatre & Bar 7 p.m. www.flickertheatreandbar.com LOS CANTARES New local desertrock supergroup featuring members of Old Smokey and Moths. Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 DJ MARK MOBLEY Seasonal music from London to New York, Bakersfield to Athens.
Friday 26 Barcode 10 p.m. FREE! 706-613-5557 SUPASTAR DJ LP Seasoned party rocker infuses todayâ€™s hottest jams with the classics you grew up on.
TONY OSCAR, LMT THERAPEUTIC & SPORTS MASSAGE
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Happy Holildays from
EMPORIUM AVEDA CONCEPT SALON
Come by and experience our Holiday gift bar featuring exclusive gifts from .
187 N. Lumpkin Street â€˘ 706.546.7598
Breaking silence A Project Safe Initiative Have questions about teen dating violence? Project Safeâ€™s texting line can help.
706-765-8019 Find us online: Twitter.com/BrkingSilence Facebook.com/BrkingSilence
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DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014 Âˇ FLAGPOLE.COM
THE CALENDAR! Hendershotâ€™s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. www.hendershotscoffee.com THE GREEN FLAG BAND Local collective playing traditional Irish music. Little Kings Shuffle Club 10 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/ lkshuffleclub KARAOKE WITH THE KING Sing your guts out with The King of Karaoke. The Melting Point 8 p.m. $7 (adv.), $10 (door). www. meltingpointathens.com CAROLINE AIKEN One of Athensâ€™ most talented and respected performing singer-songwriters. Her bluesy voice and masterful technique guarantee a hypnotic performance. This show features special performances by legendary local musicians John Keane and Ike Stubblefield. 90 ACRE FARM Local Americana band featuring vocal harmonies and slide guitar. Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 DARYL HANCE Formerly the guitarist for JJ Grey & Mofro, Hance steps out on his own with an â€œunrelenting sonic blast of groovinâ€™ rock and roll music.â€? The Office Lounge 8:30 p.m. 706-546-0840 TANGENTS This country-fried rock and roll group from Watkinsville mashes up Lynyrd Skynyrd licks with John Cougar Mellencamp melodies.
Friday, Dec. 26 continued from p.â€‰13
Saturday 27 Go Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-5609 INDIE ROCK KARAOKE Sing your favorites from Neutral Milk Hotel, Arcade Fire, Sonic Youth, Pavement, Pere Ubu, Tom Waits, Beck, Guided by Voices and many more with host Geoff Carr, aka DJ Do It. See Calendar Pick on p. 22. The Melting Point 8 p.m. $15(adv.), $20 (door). www. meltingpointathens.com RANDALL BRAMBLETT BAND This established Georgia singersongwriterâ€™s Southern-tinged music pulls from a variety of influences. Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 S-WORDS AND THE I REMEMBERS Local band playing funky pop-rock with a touch of Southern jam. The Office Lounge 9:30 p.m. FREE! 706-546-0840 CARLA LEFEVER AND THE RAYS This band, led by longtime Athenian Carla LeFever, is back with a new lineup and a new, more rocking sound.
Monday 29 Hendershotâ€™s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! www.hendershotscoffee. com OPEN MIC Showcase your talent at this open mic night every Monday.
Lawson Griceâ€™s exhibit of prints, â€œLittle Lords,â€? is currently on view at The Grit through Sunday, Jan. 4.
Tuesday 30 Flicker Theatre & Bar 11 p.m. FREE! www.flickertheatreandbar.com FLICKEROKE Come on down to Flicker and sing your heart out with your host Jason every Tuesday. Singing ability not necessarily required.
Green Room 9 p.m. www.greenroomathens.com THE DICTATORTOTS These longtime Athenian chaos-cultivators stomp about and trash the night with post-grunge grooves. This is Green Roomâ€™s farewell show. See Calendar Pick on p. 12. HAYRIDE Long-running three-piece local rock band featuring guitarist Kevin Sweeney.
THE ARCS Long-running local rock and roll band featuring musicians Dave Gerow, Kevin Lane, Brandon Reynolds and Ben Spraker. The Melting Point Terrapin Tuesday. 7 p.m. $5. www. meltingpointathens.com BORDERHOP TRIO High lonesome pickinâ€™ and singing from Athensâ€™ own bluegrass outfit.
Wednesday 31 Athens Moose Club 7:30 p.m. 706-546-0543 THE SENSATIONAL SOUNDS OF MOTOWN Six veteran musicians entertaining crowds in the Southeast for nearly 20 years promise an exciting, live-energy show. Featuring Mr. Motown!
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Caledonia Lounge 9 p.m. $5 (21+), $7 (18-20). www. caledonialounge.com DANGFLY Local rock band featuring Adam Payne, Shawn Johnson, Jay Rodgers, Scotty Nicholson and Adam Poulin. See story on p. 10. LOWDIVE Local ska/reggae band. SHOWTIME Elite tha Showstoppa’s band plays eclectic hip-hop mixed with rockin’ funky soul. SCOTT LOW AND THE SOUTHERN BOUILLON New project from the Efren frontman, featuring Doyle Williams (Rehab), Clint Swords and Mike Strickland. Cutters Pub 10 p.m. 706-353-9800 DJ ROB MARTINEZ Spinning party hits for New Year’s Eve. Flicker Theatre & Bar 9 p.m. www.flickertheatreandbar.com TONGUES Dreamy local pop-rock band. See story on p. 10. BLUNT BANGS Local indie-pop band featuring Black Kids frontman Reggie Youngblood. BROTHERS Local band plays swirling, folky tunes with haunting vocals. NEW WIVES Charming Athens indie rockers inspired by groups like Modest Mouse and Cursive. 40 Watt Club 9 p.m. $11. www.40watt.com REPTAR Highly praised local synthpop band offering fun, irreverent tunes with angular rhythms and danceable beats in the vein of Vampire Weekend and Talking Heads. See story on p. 10. MURK DADDY FLEX Laid-back, sample-driven, old-school hip-hop beats from Terence Chiyezhan. SHADE Dissonant, groove-oriented local post-punk band. Georgia Theatre 8:30 p.m. $15. www.georgiatheatre. com THE REVIVALISTS This New Orleans band plays a vibrant mix of funk, jazz and rock accented by warm pedal steel and sax. See story on p. 10. AJ GHENT Funky slide-guitar player. LARKIN POE Two sisters from Atlanta who sing and shred a unique blend of “Swampadelic Americana.” The Globe 10 p.m. FREE! 706-353-4721 BREATHLANES Athens musical collective playing organic, atmospheric improv. Featuring Luke “Gnarly G” Powell. Go Bar 9 p.m. 706-546-5609 MUUY BIIEN The local doom-punk band poses as the Rolling Stones for a special New Year’s Eve show. See story on p. 10. DIP Electronically composed, overthe-top pop music with hip hop vocal delivery. The band humorously and compulsively mentions “dip” in every song. COOMBSBOT Athens-based robot-indisguise regenerates live electronic covers of looped pop classics from the ‘80s,’ 90s and today! DJ BLOWPOP Joe Kubler (Bubbly Mommy Gun) spins a set of tunes. Hi-Lo Lounge 10 p.m. FREE! 706-850-8561 KARAOKE WITH THE KING Sing your guts out every Wednesday! Little Kings Shuffle Club 10 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/ lkshuffleclub DJ MAHOGANY Popular local DJ spins freaky funk, sultry soul, righteous R&B and a whole lotta unexpected faves.
Max 9 p.m. FREE! 706-254-3392 DJ KURT WOOD DJing ‘50s and ‘60s soul and garage and ‘70s and ‘80s punk and new wave. The Melting Point 7 p.m. $50. www.meltingpointathens. com MARTHA REEVES Enjoy an evening with the legendary Motown singer. See story on p. 10. THE GRAINS OF SAND Local band with a four-piece horn section offering up your favorite ‘60s and ‘70s beach and Motown music. TRAE GURLEY A tribute to Frank Sinatra. New Earth Athens 9 p.m. $10. www.newearthmusichall. com SEVEN HANDLE CIRCUS A rowdy, fun and modern interpretation of traditional bluegrass and folk. See story on p. 10. THE DARNELL BOYS The three Darnell brothers play and sing country blues originals backed by upright bass, singing saw and junkyard percussion. THE KINKY APHRODISIACS Southern progressive rock trio. Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 PERCY SLEDGEHAMMER New local cover band playing soul and R&B classics. The Office Lounge 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-0840 KARAOKE With your host Lynn, the Queen of Karaoke! This is a special New Year’s Eve edition. Porterhouse Grill 7 p.m. FREE! 706-369-0990 JAZZ NIGHT The longest standing weekly music gig in Athens! Join drummer Nicholas Wiles with bassist Drew Hart and pianist Steve Key for an evening of original music, improv and standards.
Thursday 1 Barbeque Shack 7 p.m. FREE! 706-613-6752 OPEN BLUEGRASS JAM All pickers welcome! Every Thursday!
exp Where families can
plug into the fun!
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The Office Lounge 8 p.m. 706-546-0840 REV. CONNER MACK TRIBBLE Newly relocated back to his old stomping grounds of Athens, Tribble is a Georgia rock and roll fixture. He hosts an “all-star jam” every Thursday. Walker’s Coffee & Pub 9 p.m. FREE! 706-543-1433 KARAOKE Every Thursday!
Friday 2 Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 THE HERITAGE A blend of classic funk, roots, and rock and roll with a modern groove. The Office Lounge 8 p.m. FREE! 706-549-0840 KARAOKE With your host Lynn, the Queen of Karaoke!
Saturday 3 Flicker Theatre & Bar 9 p.m. www.flickertheatreandbar.com GEORGE TYLER HUNTINGTON Padre’s frontman performs a solo set.
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DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014 · FLAGPOLE.COM
Saturday, Jan. 3 continued from p. 15
SONS OF KATIE ELDER New local folk-rock group. SHARK WEEK Soulful rock group from Chattanooga, TN.
40 Watt Club 8 p.m. $8. www.40watt.com STRAIGHT NO CHASER Local groove-oriented group.
Georgia Theatre 8 p.m. $15. www.georgiatheatre.com CHARLES BRADLEY Dubbed “The Screamin’ Eagle of Soul,” the lateblooming Bradley distills the best of James Brown and Otis Redding into one powerful soul punch. See Calendar Pick on p. 12. NATE & THE NIGHTMARES Garage-rock act fronted by Nate Mitchell and featuring members of Free Associates and Mother the Car.
Georgia Theatre 7 p.m. SOLD OUT. www.georgiatheatre. com GREGG ALLMAN Legendary member of the Allman Brothers Band plays a two night run. See Calendar Pick on p. 12. AMANDA SHIRES Americana singersongwriter and violinist.
Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. www.hendershotscoffee.com RALPH RODDENBERRY Eclectic Southern blues-rock artist. The Melting Point 3:30 & 9 p.m. $10 (adv)., $13 (door). www.meltingpointathens.com ABBEY ROAD LIVE Beloved local Beatles tribute band known for its musical proficiency. The Office Lounge 9 p.m. 706-546-0840 GASOLINE BROTHERS The band says they are the “loud kings of Hipster-billy rawk.”
Monday 5 Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! www.hendershotscoffee. com OPEN MIC See Monday’s listing for full description Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-4742 BLUES NIGHT WITH BIG C Nobody in Athens sings the blues quite like Big C.
Tuesday 6 Flicker Theatre & Bar MYRIAD. 9 p.m. www.flickertheatreandbar.com TONGUES Dreamy local pop-rock band. See story on p. 11.
The Melting Point Tailgate Tuesday. 7 p.m. $5. www.meltingpointathens.com TYLER HAMMOND BAND Country/southern rock outfit from Milledgeville. Nowhere Bar 9 p.m. 706-546-4742 TUESDAY NIGHT CONFESSIONAL This weekly series showcases a series of acoustic solo sets from some of the most talented singersongwriters in town and across the country.
Wednesday 7 Blue Sky 5 p.m. FREE! 706-850-3153 VINYL WEDNESDAYS Bring your own records and spin them at the bar! Boar’s Head Lounge 10 p.m. FREE! 706-369-3040 SINGER-SONGWRITER SHOWCASE Rock out every Wednesday at this open mic. Contact email@example.com for booking. Flicker Theatre & Bar Athens AMP. 9 p.m. www.flickertheatreandbar.com MOTHERS Local songwriter Kristine Leschper performs gorgeous, haunting folk tunes. See story on p. 11. Georgia Theatre 7 p.m. SOLD OUT. www.georgiatheatre. com GREGG ALLMAN / AMANDA SHIRES See Tuesday’s listing for full description
Do You Want to Quit Smoking?
We are conducting a research study on what makes people successful when they quit smoking.
• The study involves in-person assessments including an MRI brain scan. • You will receive free counseling & nicotine patches to help you quit. • You will be compensated up to $226 for your time.
Call 706-542-8350 for more information.
FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014
The Randall Bramblett Band plays Melting Point on Saturday, Dec. 27. Hi-Lo Lounge 10 p.m. FREE! 706-850-8561 KARAOKE WITH THE KING See Wednesday’s listing The Melting Point 7:30 p.m. $15 (adv.), $18 (door). www. meltingpointathens.com GLEN PHILLIPS Former frontman of Toad the Wet Sprocket performs. NATALIA ZUKERMAN Brooklyn, NY-based singer-songwriter. The Office Lounge 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-0840 KARAOKE With your host Lynn, the Queen of Karaoke!
Porterhouse Grill 7 p.m. FREE! 706-369-0990 JAZZ NIGHT The longest standing weekly music gig in Athens! Join drummer Nicholas Wiles with bassist Drew Hart and pianist Steve Key for an evening of original music, improv and standards.
Down the Line 1/8 EL HOLLIN / JUNIOR JULY (Flicker Theatre & Bar) 1/8 THE FUNK BROTHERHOOD / GRAVY (Georgia Theatre) 1/8 CHRIS FORSYTH AND THE
SOLAR MOTEL / GRAND VAPIDS / BLUE BLOOD (Normaltown Hall) 1/9 BIG MORGAN / WIEUCA / STRAYS (40 Watt Club) 1/9 FAMILY AND FRIENDS / ROADKILL GHOST CHOIR / SEMICIRCLE (Georgia Theatre) 1/9 THE SWINGIN’ MEDALLIONS (The Melting Point) 1/10 WILLIE ZIAVINO AND THE C.O.T. BAND / ATHENS TANGO PROJECT / DJ DANCE PARTY (40 Watt Club) 1/10 THE DIRTY GUV’NAHS (Georgia Theatre) 1/10 RUNAWAY GIN (Nowhere Bar)
1/12 MONSOON / SHADE / CONCORD AMERICA / CHIEF SCOUT (Georgia Theatre) 1/12 OPEN MIC (Hendershot’s Coffee Bar) 1/12 MUSCLE SHOALS MONDAY (Nowhere Bar) 1/13 MAC POWELL / LAUGHLIN (The Melting Point) 1/14 SINGER-SONGWRITER SHOWCASE (Boar’s Head Lounge) 1/14 MILLI FUNGUS (Nowhere Bar) 1/14 KARAOKE (The Office Lounge) 1/15 CHRIS KNIGHT (Georgia Theatre) 1/15 THE GET RIGHT BAND (Nowhere Bar)
Deadline for getting listed in The Calendar is FRIDAY at 5 p.m. for the print issue that comes out the following Wednesday. Online listings are updated daily. Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014 Â· FLAGPOLE.COM
bulletin board DO SOMETHING; GET INVOLVED! NEW YEARâ€™S EVE DEADLINE: The deadline for getting listed in Bulletin Board is WEDNESDAY, DEC. 31 at noon for the print issue of Jan. 7. Online listings are updated daily. Email email@example.com.
ART 40th Annual Juried Exhibition (Lyndon House Arts Center) The annual show will be juried by Carter Foster, curator of drawing at the Whitney Museum of American Art. All visual art welcome. Drop off entry forms and up to three works on Jan. 27, 12:30â€“8:30 p.m. or Jan. 28, 10 a.m.â€“4 p.m. Opening reception on Mar. 5. $25 submission fee. 706-613-3623, www.athens clarkecounty.com/lyndonhouse Art Classes (Lyndon House Arts Center) Now registering for winter classes including intro to drawing with Mark Helwig, painting with Charles Warnock and â€œLife Drawing,â€? a figure drawing class with live models. Check website for schedule. Classes begin in January. 706-613-3623, www.athensclarke county.com/lyndonhouse Call for Artists (OCAF, Watkinsville) Seeking submissions for the 20th annual Southworks National Juried Art Exhibition, held Apr. 10â€“May 8. Visit website for
application and to submit images. Cash prizes will be awarded to top pieces. Deadline Feb. 13. $25-35. www.ocaf.com Call for Entries: â€œReciprocal: OCAF Members at UNGâ€? (University of North Georgia) The exhibit is a collaboration between the University of North Georgia and OCAF. Entries should be two-dimensional and no larger than 48â€? x 48â€?. OCAF members only. Deadline is Jan. 12 at 12 p.m. Exhibit runs Mar. 5â€“April 2. Visit website for entry form. 706-769-4565, www.ung.edu/artgalleries/contribute Deck the Walls (Lyndon House Arts Center) A special exhibition features art available for sale by 70 area artists, authors, crafters and musicians. Items include glass ornaments, pottery, sculptural works, embroidery, childrenâ€™s books, photography and more. Tuesdaysâ€“Saturdays through Jan. 5, 12â€“5 p.m. www.athensclarkecounty. com/lyndonhouse The Art of Eating Ethically (Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
of Athens) The UUFA Ethical Eating Discussion Group is seeking artwork for an exhibit called â€œThe Art of Eating Ethically.â€? Submit artwork with a description of how the piece represents ethical eating (humane, sustainable, organic, fair trade, local, etc.). Deadline to apply Jan. 15. Show April-May. 706-546-7671, firstname.lastname@example.org
AUDITIONS The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe (Athens Institute for Contemporary Art: ATHICA) Rose of Athens Theatre invites actors ages 9 to adult to audition for The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe. Auditions are on Jan. 5, 6â€“9 p.m. Callbacks will be held on Jan. 6. danielle@ roseofathens.org
CLASSES Acrobatics & More (Acropolis) The studio offers acro yoga, family acrobatics, hand balancing,
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Donâ€™t forget us over the holidays!
Paintings by Cody Murray are currently on view at Hendershotâ€™s Coffee through January. flexibility and conditioning. Visit website for weekly schedule. $35â€“45 (monthly membership), $5â€“10 (drop-in). 706-530-1359, email@example.com, www.acroathens. com Beginners Integral Hatha Yoga (Healing Arts Centre) (Sangha Yoga Studio) Meghan Burke leads this course on Hatha Yoga. Tuesdays, Jan. 6â€“Feb. 10, 7â€“8:30 p.m. $60. 706-613-1143, www.healingartscentre.net Bikram Hot Yoga (Bikram Yoga Athens) Classes in hot yoga are offered seven days a week. Beginners welcome. Student discounts available. 706-353-9642, www.bikramathens.com Clay Classes (Good Dirt) Good Dirt has moved to a new location at 485 Macon Hwy. Weekly â€œTry Clayâ€?
classes ($20/person) introduce participants to the potterâ€™s wheel every Friday from 7â€“9 p.m. â€œFamily Try Clayâ€? classes show children and adults hand-building methods every Sunday from 2â€“4 p.m. $20. 706355-3161, www.gooddirt.net Community Yoga Class (Athens Five Points Yoga Studio) (1260 S. Milledge Ave, E1) This flow yoga class will be taught by graduates of the Five Points Yoga teacher training program. Proceeds benefit the Athens Area Homeless Shleter. Saturdays through December, 4 p.m. $7. www.athensfivepointsyoga.com Computer Classes (ACC Library) Learn Microsoft Word. Call for times and to register. 706-6133650 Dog Obedience Training (Southeast Clarke Park) Puppies
to our publisher, Pete! (on Jan. 6
FLAGPOLE.COM âˆ™ DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014
and dogs of all ages will learn basic skills such as stay, sit, heel, come when called, walk nicely on a leash and more. Saturdays, Jan. 17-Feb. 7, 10â€“11 a.m. $70â€“105 per dog. 706-613-3871 DRAMA CLASSES (Rose of Athens Theatre Office, 160 Tracy St.) Rose of Athens Theatre Academy offers three new sessions for young actors. Homeschool session on Fridays, Jan. 9â€“Feb. 13, 10 a.m. Improv classes on Saturdays, Jan. 10â€“Feb. 14, 10 a.m. Stilt building classes on Saturdays, Jan. 10â€“Feb. 14. 706340-9181, academy@roseofathens. org, www.roseofathens.org Garden Geology (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) (Classroom 2) Learn about the rocks of Georgiaâ€™s six geologic provinces and make a collection. Tuesdays, Jan. 6â€“Feb.
24, 4–6 p.m. $80. 706-542-6156, www.uga.edu/botgarden Georgia Organics Conference (The Classic Center) The expo will feature food and farm tours, workshops, educational sessions and more. Feb. 19, 8 a.m.–6:30 p.m. & Feb. 20, 8:30 a.m.–1 p.m. $80–200. www.confer ence.georgiaorganics.org Judo Classes (AKF Athens Martial Arts) Traditional Kudokan Judo classes for adults focus on selfdevelopment and technique over competition. Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. www. akfathens.com Karate and Yoga (Rubber Soul Yoga) Practice Yoshukai karate along with meditation in a low-stress environment. Class involves 45 minutes of yoga as a warm-up, followed by 45 minutes of karate. Wednesdays, 8:45–10:30 p.m. Donations encouraged. www.athensy.com Martial Arts Classes (Live Oak Martial Arts, Bogart) Traditional and modern-style Taekwondo, selfdefense, grappling and weapons classes for all ages. Visit website for full class schedule. www.liveoak martialarts.com Master Composter Class (ACC Solid Waste Department) Become a home composting expert. Course includes composting methods for gardeners, those in apartments, food industry workers and small farmers. Wednesdays, Feb. 4–Apr. 1, 9–11:30 a.m. $150. 706-613-3640 Monologues and More (Athens Creative Theatre (ACT)) Adults and teens with cognitive disabilities will use simple monologues and skits to explore different emotional responses and build self-esteem. Tuesdays, Jan. 13–Feb. 7, 1–2 p.m. 706-613-3628, www.athensclarke county.com/act Printmaking Workshops (Double Dutch Press) “Multicolor Reductive Woodcut: Three Parts.” Jan. 10, 2–4 p.m. Jan. 17 & Jan. 24, 2–5 p.m. $85. “Multicolor Screenprint: Two Parts.” Jan. 14, 6–7:30 p.m. & Jan. 21, 6–8 p.m. $65. “Paper Relief Monotype.” Jan. 31, 2–6 p.m. $35. “Tea Towels! One Color Screenprinting.” Feb. 4, 6–7 p.m. $50. “Stampmaking: Two Color Stamps.” Feb. 21, 2–5 p.m. $40. “Custom Stationary: Multicolor Screeprinting, Two Parts.” Feb. 25, 6–7:30 p.m. & Mar. 4, 6–8 p.m. $60. www.doubledutchpress.com Quilting (Sewcial Studio) Quilting classes for beginner to advanced students cover both traditional and modern projects. 706-247-6143, www.sewcialstudio.com Salsa Dance Classes (Little Kings Shuffle Club) Cubanstyle salsa dance classes with SALSAthens. No partner necessary. Beginners welcome. Every Wednesday, 6:30-7:30 p.m. (intermediate), 7:30-8:30 p.m. (beginners). $10 (incl. drink). www. facebook.com/salsaathens The Art of Happiness (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) This series of classes covers topics with regards to defining what happiness is to you, exploring joyful contentment through your beliefs, creativity and emotion, and exploring the basic principles of what makes happy people happy. Saturdays, Feb. 7–28, 9 a.m.–12 p.m. $140. www. uga.edu/botgarden Traditional Karate Training (Athens Yoshukai Karate) Learn traditional Okinawan hard style karate in a positive atmosphere. Accepting new students. See website for schedule. www.athensy.com Viniyoga (Urban Santosha) This new Boulevard yoga studio teaches
classes in the Viniyoga tradition, known for its adaptation of traditional yoga poses to fit the needs of each individual. Classes are offered in gentle yoga, emotional stability intermediate yoga and more. $75/ six classes. 706-540-9986, www.urbansantosha.com Watercolor Painting Inspired by Nature (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) Students will create several compositions based on the elements of and principles of design. Includes demos, independent work time and one-on-one instruction. Feb. 21, 9 a.m.–4 p.m. & Feb. 22, 12–4 p.m. $160. www.botgarden.uga.edu Yoga Classes (Chase Street Yoga) This studio teaches different types of yoga like gentle yoga, yin yoga and power heated Vinyasa. 706-3169000, www.chasestreetyoga.com Yoga Teacher Training (Athens Five Points Yoga Studio) This 200-hour, Yoga Allianceaccredited teacher training program is grounded in self-study. The yearlong program begins in January. firstname.lastname@example.org Yoga Teacher Training (Yogaful Day) Bill Cottrell of Yogaful Day offers a Yoga Alliance approved RYT200 Yoga Teacher Training program. Jan. 10–May 9. $1650. www.yogafulday.com Zumba (East Athens Educational Dance Center) Get fit while having fun. Wednesdays, Jan. 21–Mar. 11, 6:30–7:30 p.m. $33–50. www.athens clarkecounty.com/dance Zumba in the Garden (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) A dynamic fitness program infused with Latin rhythms. Every Wednesday, 5:30–6:30 p.m. $70/10 classes. www.botgarden.uga.edu
HELP OUT Disabled American Veterans Network (Athens, GA) Seeking volunteers to drive VA furnished vehicles to transport vets living with disabilities to local clinics and Augusta hospitals. Weekdays, 8 a.m.–5 p.m., once or twice a month. Call Roger, 706-202-0587 HandsOn Northeast Georgia (Athens, GA) HandsOn NEGA is a project of Community Connection of Northeast Georgia that assists volunteers in finding flexible service opportunities at various organizations. Over 130 local agencies seek help with ongoing projects and special short-term events. Visit the website for a calendar and to register. www.handsonnortheastgeorgia. com Salvation Army (Multiple Locations) Seeking volunteers to ring the bell at kettles collecting donations at 22 retail locations in Clarke, Oconee, Madison and Oglethorpe counties from 10 a.m.–8 p.m., Mondays–Fridays through Dec. 24. 706-543-5350
KIDSTUFF Art Classes (Lyndon House Arts Center) Now registering for classes like “Art TIme for 4–6 Year Olds,” “Teen Cartoon Illustrator’s Club,” “Clay: This Way and That Way” and “Experimental Watercolor.” Classes begin in January. 706-613-3623, www.athensclarkecounty.com/ lyndonhouse Beginning ACTing Workshop (Athens Creative Theatre (ACT)) Students will use simple monologues, skits and improvisation to explore the benefits of drama. For ages 8–12. Thursdays, Jan. 15–Feb. 19, 4:30–5:30 p.m. $40–83. 706-
613-3628, www.athensclarkecounty. com/act Craft Classes (Treehouse Kid and Craft) “Art School” for ages 2–4 (Wednesdays, 11:15 a.m.), ages 3–5 (Wednesdays, 4 p.m.) and ages 6–9 (Thursdays, 4 p.m.) incorporates artists, art history and art techniques into each class. “Baby Sensory Craft” for ages 6–24 months (Wednesdays, 10 a.m. & Saturdays, 11 a.m.), “We Craft” for ages 2–4 (Saturdays, 10 a.m.), “Family Crafterdays” for ages 5–10 (Saturdays, 12 p.m.). Drop-in sessions are $10/class. “Modern & Contemporary Art” for ages 9–14 (Fridays through Dec. 19, 4 p.m. $17). www.treehousekidandcraft.com Fit-nastics (Bishop Park) Fitnastics is an alternative to gymnastics in that it offers students the ability to develop cardio, endurance, upper body, core and lower body strength. For ages 9–13. Mondays, Jan. 5–April 27, 5:30–6:25 p.m. $105 (ACC residents), $158 (nonresidents). 706-613-3589, www. athensclarkecounty.com/gymnastics Give Wildlife a Chance Poster Contest (State Botanical Garden of Georgia) The SBG and the Nongame Conservation Section of the Georgia Department of Natural Resources present an art contest. Students in K-5th grade can submit artwork portraying Georgia nongame wildlife and plants. Entries
due Apr. 3. Call for rules and guidelines. 706-542-6156
SUPPORT Alanon 12 Step (Little White House) For family and friends of alcoholics and drug addicts. Tuesdays, 7:30–8:30 p.m. www.gaal-anon.org Alcoholics Anonymous (Athens, GA) If you want to drink, that’s your business. If you want to stop, we can help. 706-389-4164, www.athensaa.org Emotions Anonymous (Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Athens) A 12-step program open to anyone with a desire to become well emotionally. Meets Sundays, 4–5 p.m. 706-202-7463, www.emotions anonymous.org Project Safe (Athens, GA) Meetings for Warriors: Hope & Healing from Domestic Violence Group are held every Tuesday, 6:30–8 p.m. with a dinner on the last Tuesday of each month. Meetings for the Emotional Abuse Support Group are held every Wednesday, 6:30–8 p.m. with a dinner on the last Wednesday of the month. Childcare provided. 24-hour crisis hotline: 706-543-3331. Teen texting line: 706-765-8019. Business: 706-5490922. Meeting info: 706-613-3357 ext. 772. www.project-safe.org
ART AROUND TOWN A. LAFERA SALON (2440 W. Broad St.) Contemporary landscapes by Keith Karnok. AMICI (233 E. Clayton St.) “Be Organic” by Brooke Davidson is a series of acrylic, abstract paintings on birch wood panels that explore repetitive layers of paint. ANTIQUES & JEWELS ART GALLERY (290 N. Milledge Ave.) Paintings by Mary Porter, Greg Benson, Dortha Jacobson and others. Art quilts by Elizabeth Barton and handmade jewelry by various artists. ART ON THE SIDE GALLERY AND GIFTS (17 N. Main St., Watkinsville) A gallery featuring works by various artists in media including ceramics, paintings and fused glass. ARTINI’S ART LOUNGE (296 W. Broad St.) AthensHasArt! presents “Night Rhythms,” art by Suzanna Antonez-Edens and Hannah S. Garrard. Through January. ATHENS ACADEMY (1281 Spartan Lane) Sculptures by Duane Paxson. Through Jan. 23. ATHENS-CLARKE COUNTY LIBRARY (2025 Baxter St.) “Seldom Seen: American Art Pottery: The Collection of Bill and Dorothy Paul” includes pieces by 100 potters made between the 1920s and 1940s. Through Jan. 18. BENDZUNAS GLASS (89 W. South Ave., Comer) The family-run studio has been creating fine art glass for almost 40 years. CINÉ BARCAFE (234 W. Hancock Ave.) “Baffle Medusa” by Jeff T. Owens represents an experimental foray into contemporary manufacturing technologies, relying on a computer-controlled router to translate digital drawings of cartoon, sci-fi, glam rock and arcade imagery into large-scale objects. THE CLASSIC CENTER (300 N. Thomas St.) “Nature Revealed” includes works by Barbara Patisal, Janelle Young, Katherine Dunlap, Georgia Rhodes and Charles Warnok. • “Then and Now: Celebrating 40 Years of the Lyndon House Arts Center” includes works by Munroe d’Antignac, John d’Azzo, Terri Jarrette, Leah Mantini and Erik Patten. Through April. ELLISON, WALTON & BYRNE (2142 W. Broad St.) Paintings by Broderick Flanigan and works by students attending Clarke Central High School. Through December. FARMINGTON DEPOT GALLERY (1011 Salem Rd., Farmington) Owned and staffed by 14 artists, the gallery exhibits paintings, sculpture, folk art, ceramics and fine furniture. Permanent collection artists include Phil Goulding, Larry Hamilton, Chris Hubbard, Michael Pierce and more. • “Farmington Skies” features landscape paintings by John Cleaveland. FLICKER THEATRE & BAR (263 W. Washington St.) Mixed media by Eric Simmons. Through December. • Artwork by Kristine Leschper. Through January. GALLERY@HOTEL INDIGO (500 College Ave.) “Equations” is a collection of works inspired by mathematics, mapping and statistics by Craig Dongoski, Molly Rose Freeman, Moon Jung Jang, Kelly Kristin Jones, Elizabeth Kleen, Eric Mack, Rusty Wallace, Andy Moon Wilson and Cal Clements. Through December. GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART (90 Carlton St.) “Boxers and Backbeats: Tomata du Plenty and the West Coast Punk Scene.” Through Jan. 4. • Athens Celebrates Elephant 6 presents “The…of E6.” Through Jan. 4. • “The Nightmare Transported into Art: Odilon Redon’s ‘St. Anthony.’” Through Jan. 25. • “Emilio Pucci in America.” Through Feb. 1. • “Not Ready to Make Nice: Guerrilla Girls in the Artworld and Beyond.” Through Mar. 1. • “A Year on the Hill: Work by Jim Fiscus and Chris Bilheimer.”
Reiki (Athens Regional Medical Center) (Loran Smith Center for Cancer Support) Experience the healing energy of Reiki, an ancient form of healing touch used for stress reduction and relaxation. For cancer patients, their families and caregivers. Call for an appointment. Individual sessions held every Wednesday, 6 p.m. & 7 p.m. FREE! 706-475-4900 S-Anon (Cornerstone Church) S-Anon is a support group for family and friends of sexaholics, based on the 12 steps of AA. sunday. email@example.com, www. sanon.org Women’s Empowerment Group (Oasis Counseling Center) A small therapeutic group for women to work on vulnerability, setting boundaries, assertiveness, self-care and more. Eight-week sessions. Call to reserve a space. $15/session. 706-543-3522, www.oasis counselingcenter.com
ON THE STREET Bring One for the Chipper: Christmas Tree Recycling (Multiple Locations) Keep AthensClarke County Beautiful (KACCB) encourages citizens to recycle their undecorated trees and wreaths on Jan. 3, 9 a.m.–1 p.m. Participants will receive a free tree seed-
ing and/or flower and vegetable seed packets. Drop-off locations include Cofer’s Home and Garden Showplace, Sandy Creek Nature Center, Chase Street Elementary School, Clarke Middle School, Georgia Square Mall, Winterville Public Works Recycling Center and the Lexington Road Tag Office. 706613-3501 ext. 309, accbintern@ gmail.com Free Dental Clinic (Nuçi’s Space) Dental screenings, teeth cleanings and x-rays will be provided free of charge to uninsured music professionals on Jan. 8. Appointments and pre-screening required. Call 1-877-626-2748 for appointment. www.nuci.org Fund the Film Lab (Film Athens Film Lab) Film Athens is raising funds to purchase software and equipment for the Film Lab housed inside the Athens Community Career Academy. Visit website for info on how to donate. www.support.film athens.net Ripple Effect Film Project (Athens, GA) Filmmakers of all ages and levels of experience are invited to create original short films about water conservation and water stewardship. Finalists’ films will be screened at the Blue Carpet Premiere in May. Visit website for official rules and entry form. Deadline to submit a film is Jan. 30. www.rippleeffectfilm project.org f
Through Mar. 8. • In the sculpture garden, “Terra Verte,” created by Scottish artist Patricia Leighton, consists of six cubes full of living vegetation. Through May. • “Stone Levity” is a sculpture by Del Geist installed in the Performing and Visual Arts Complex quad. Through May. GLASSCUBE@INDIGO (500 College Ave.) Athens Celebrates Elephant 6 presents “n  c t u r n e,” a site-specific installation by Dana Jo Cooley. Through December. GRIT (199 Prince Ave.) “Little Lords” by Lawson Grice is a collection of colorful prints incorporating imagery and symbology from Pagan, gay, gamer and stoner cultures. Through Jan. 4. HEIRLOOM CAFE AND FRESH MARKET (815 N. Chase St.) Artwork by printmaker Kristine Leschper. Through December. HENDERSHOT’S COFFEE BAR (237 Prince Ave.) Paintings by Cody Murray. Through January. JITTERY JOE’S DOWNTOWN (297 E. Broad St.) Portrait manipulations by Chris Romano. Through January. LYNDON HOUSE ARTS CENTER (293 Hoyt St.) “Full House 2014” is a biennial invitation exhibit open to the 18 guilds and art groups that call the Lyndon House home. Through Jan. 18. • The “Period Decorative Arts Collection (1840–1890) & Athens History Museum” inside the historic Ware-Lyndon House now features a new bedroom exhibit full of decorative pieces. MADISON COUNTY LIBRARY (1315 Georgia 98, Danielsville) Artwork by students attending Madison County Middle School. Through December. • Helen Beatenbough shares her collection of Christmas tree pins and brooches. Through December. MADISON MORGAN CULTURAL CENTER (434 S. Main St., Madison) “Farm” is an exhibition celebrating the agrarian lifestyle of the rural South through works by Keith Bennett, Angelia Bellebuono, Shannon Candler, Chris Cook and more. Through Jan. 4. MAMA BIRD’S GRANOLA (909 E. Broad St.) Artwork by Cameron Bliss Ferrelle, James Fields, Barbara Bendzunas, Kayley Head, Leah Lacy, Saint Udio and Lakeshore Pottery. REPUBLIC SALON (312 E. Broad St.) The paintings of Cody Murray explore the duality of man. RICHARD B. RUSSELL JR. SPECIAL COLLECTIONS LIBRARIES (300 S. Hull St.) Art Rocks Athens presents “ARTifacts Rock Athens: Relics from the Athens Music Scene, 1975–1985).” Through December. • “Food, Power and Politics: The Story of School Lunch.” Through May 15. SEWCIAL STUDIO (160 Tracy St.) Hand-dyed art quilts by Anita Heady. Rust and over-dyed fabric on canvas by Bill Heady. SIPS (1390 Prince Ave.) Margaret Agner presents prints and drawings, including monotypes, mixed media, nature prints and linoleum cuts. THE SURGERY CENTER (2142 W. Broad St.) “From A to Z: Athens to Zimbabwe” includes paintings by Alice Pruitt and Linda Lemon. SUSKA (297 Prince Ave.) Artwork by Suzanna Antonez-Edens. UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST FELLOWSHIP OF ATHENS (780 Timothy Rd.) “Folk Flower Card Design,” ink and watercolor pencil artwork by Barbara Leisner. Through January. UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA PRESS (UGA Main Library, 320 S. Jackson St.) Oil paintings of Monaco and Spain by Shannon Candler. Through December. VIVA! ARGENTINE CUISINE (247 Prince Ave.) Artwork by Rita Rogers Marks. THE WORLD FAMOUS (351 N. Hull St.) Paintings by Lydia Hunt. Through December. • Permanent artists include RA Miller, Chris Hubbard, Travis Craig, Michelle Fontaine, Will Eskridge, Dan Smith, Greg Stone and more.
DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014 · FLAGPOLE.COM
Buy It, Sell It, Rent It, Use It! Place an ad anytime at classifieds.flagpole.com
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Real Estate Apartments for Rent 1, 2, and 3 BR apartments avail. Feb. 1. Downtown, Broad St. New construction, water, trash, wi-fi, parking incl. Non-smoking, no pets. www.franklinhouseathens. com or (706) 548-9137. 2BR+/2.5BA, avail. now. Exceptional Boulevard l i v i n g . To t a l r e n o v a t i o n w/ vintage charm. HWflrs, stainless appliances, quar tz counter tops, W/D incl. $1400/mo. Visit valerioproper ties.com or (706) 546-6900. I heart Flagpole Classifieds! 2BR/2.5BA Loft walking distance to Dwntn. Wrap a r o u n d b a l c o n y, 2 c a r garage, stainless steel appl., granite countertops, most utilities incl. Call (706) 3951400.
2BRs Dwntn. across from campus avail. now. ( 4 0 4 ) 5 5 7 - 5 2 0 3 , w w w. downtownathensrentals. weebly.com. Baldwin Village across the street from UGA. Available now! 1BR/1BA, hot and cold water incl., $520. 2BR/2BA, $850/mo. 475 Baldwin St. 30605. Manager Keith, (706) 354-4261. Bond Hill Apartments. 1BR/1BA. $450/mo. 12-mo. lease. 1st mo. rent half off w/ current student or military ID. Unit upgraded with new flooring, carpet & paint. All electric w/ water/ trash incl. Pets under 30 lb. allowed w/ dep. On bus line. Close to Dwntn./UGA. Quiet community. Avail. Jan. 1. (706) 338-7262. Sublease your house or apartment with Flagpole C l a s s i f i e d s ! Visit classifieds.flagpole.com or call (706) 549-0301.
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Eastside quadraplex, 2BR/2BA, $500/mo. & 2BR/1BA, $475/mo. Eastside d u p l e x , 2 B R / 1 B A & F P, $525/mo. 3BR/2BA & FP, $700/mo. 2BR/2BA condo, Westside, 1200 sf., $600/ mo. Call McWaters Realty, (706) 353-2700 or cell, (706) 540-1529. Just reduced! Investor’s West-side condo. 2BR/2BA, F P, 1 5 0 0 s f . , g r e a t investment, lease 12 mos. at $575/mo. Price in $40s. For more info, call McWaters Realty at (706) 353-2700 or (706) 540-1529. Subscribe today and have your weekly Flagpole sent to you! $40 for 6 months, $70 for a year! Call (706) 549-0301 for more information. Want to live in 5 Pts? Howard Properties has the following locations: 5BR/3BA house $2000/mo., 1BR/1BA apt. $500/mo., 2BR/2BA condo $700–800/mo., and 3BR/3BA condo $1125/mo. Please call (706) 546-0300 for more info and to view these properties.
Condos for Rent Avail. now! Beautiful 2BR/2.5BA condo. Quiet neighborhood w/ lots of green space and river walk. Large LR, kitchen, BRs and BAs. DW, CHAC, W/D hookup. $650-800/mo. Pets OK w/ deposit. Call (706) 202-9905.
3BR/1.5BA, 260 Clarke Dr. Very close to new vet school. W/D provided. Pets OK w/ deposit. Huge f e n c e d b a c k y a rd . $ 9 0 0 / mo., Avail. now. (706) 2022466 or Dillard0088@gmail. com.
Duplexes For Rent
5 Pts. off Baxter St. 4BR/2BA, $1200/mo. 5 Pts. off Lumpkin. 2 story condo, 2BR/2.5BA, $650/mo. Call M c Wa t e r s R e a l t y, ( 7 0 6 ) 353-2700, (706) 540-1529.
Half off rent 1st month when you mention this ad! 2BR/2BA & 3BR/2BA duplexes off HWY 441. Pet friendly! Dep. only $250. Rent from $650-750/mo. (706) 5482522.
Large 3,000 sf. townhome available now. 3-5BR/4BA, $1000/mo. W/D, trash & pest control included, p e t f r i e n d l y. R o o m m a t e matching available. (706) 395-1400.
Houses for Rent
Parking & Storage
3BR/2BA, 1600 sq. ft. homes off of Timothy Rd. Large windows, cement and HWflrs, W/D, new kitchen appliances. Centrally located. Houses offer easy access to Eastside shopping, the Loop, and UGA. $1250/ mo. Pets considered. (706) 201-8093.
Garry’s Import Service Import Car Repair
Volvo Specialist General Repair All Imports Free Check-Engine Light Diagnostics Personalized one-on-one service fair pricing 44 years experience 1683 Rogers Church Rd. U Commerce, GA · 706.335.4197
Parking places for rent across from UGA. $30/mo. (706) 354-4261.
Rooms for Rent Large private furnished bedroom and private bathroom w/ jetted tub in quiet home in Wa t k i n s v i l l e , G A f o r non-smoking student. Includes utilities and cable. Off street parking. Kitchen and laundry priviledges. Very safe, conveniently located neighborhood. $300/ month. Please call (706) 540-5000.
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PLACE AN AD • At flagpole.com, pay with credit card or PayPal account • Call our Classifieds Dept. (706) 549-0301 • Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
• Deadline to place ads is 11:00 a.m. every Monday for the following Wednesday issue • All ads must be prepaid • Set up an account to review your placement history or replace old ads at flagpole.com
FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014
FREE HOT DOG
WITH THE SIGNING OF A LEASE
“Downtown Space for the Human Race”
Downtown Lofts Available PRELEASE NOW For Fall!
HOUSES & NOW DUPLEXES FOR LEASE
in Oconee and Clarke County. Locations in 5 Points, Eastside and Close to Downtown Athens.
C. Hamilton & Associates
AVAILABLE JAN. 2015
3 BED 3 BATH TOWNHOUSE WITH WOOD FLOORS AND HIGH CEILINGS AVAILABLE NOW
2 BED 2 BATH PET FRIENDLY UNIT ON BAXTER ST.
2 BED 2.5 BATH TOWNHOUSE OFF MITCHELL BRIDGE RD. AVAILABLE JAN. 2015
C. Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001
NOW AVAILABLE! )7DO7H; ,;J "H?;D:BO
RIVERS EDGE MORTON SQUARE HIGHLAND PARK & MARK TWAIN C. Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001
S t u d e n t s o n l y. S p a c i o u s , furnished BR.Quiet, near campus, kitchen, laundry privileges. Shared BA, priv. entrance, cable, Internet access. No pets. $285/mo. incl. utils. (706) 353-0227. (706) 296-5223.
Roommates M & F roommate matching available, now with rates starting at $275 per person. Private bathroom options as well. On the bus line and close to campus. www. landmarkathens.com, (706) 395-1400.
For Sale Miscellaneous ”Mr. Thumbbump” by local author Emery Ofori. Avail. now. Order on demand at Barnes & Noble. Children’s book about a friendly troll who goes on an adventure. Archipelago Antiques 24 years of antique and retro art, furnishings, religiosa and unique, decorative treasures of the past. 1676 S. Lumpkin St. (706) 354-4297. Happy Holidays from FLAGPOLE MAGAZINE! The office will be closed December 22–December 26 and January 1 & 2. Day trippers visit N e a t P i e c e s in Carlton, GA. Architectural antiques, vintage clothes, books and much more. Only 3 mi. from Wa t s o n M i l l S t a t e P a r k . Thursday–Sunday 10–5. Jimmy, (706) 797-3317. Instant cash is now being paid for good vinyl records & CDs in fine condition.Wuxtry Records, at corner of Clayton & College Dwntn. (706) 369-9428.
Music Equipment Need Christmas cash? Top dollar paid for your used musical trade. Buy-sell-trade. New and used. Musicians Warehouse, 150 Crane Drive. (706) 548-7233. Nuçi’s Space needs your old instruments & music gear! All donations are tax-deductible. Call (706) 227-1515 or come by Nuçi’s Space, 396 Oconee St.
Instruction Athens School of Music. Instruction in guitar, bass, drums, piano, voice, brass, woodwinds, strings, banjo, mandolin, fiddle & more. From beginner to expert. Instrument repairs avail. Visit www. AthensSchoolofMusic. com, (706) 543-5800.
Rehearsal Space Practice space available now! 400 square ft, secure, heat and air $300 per month. 1 mile from downtown. Call Neal (706) 201-0132.
Services Misc. Services Grocer y shopping and delivery now available for Athens/Oconee area. Online ordering made simple. Visit DoorwayDeliveries.com for more information or call (706) 308-1450. Local Organic Vegetables! The Veggie Patch at Bouchard Farms 2015 CSA shares now available. Sign up before December 31st 2014 and get $100 off membership. Free delivery to Athens. www. veggiepatchga.com.
Jobs Full-time Advertise your special skills! Move-in/move-out help,pet care, child care, yard work, cleaning, etc.Let Athens know how to contact you with Flagpole classifieds! Call (706) 549-0301 or visit classifieds.flagpole.com. Athens Land Trust volunteer c o ord inator, A meriCorps VISTA position, needed to establish a volunteer program. College degree required. Visit website www.athenslandtrust. org or email employment@ athenslandtrust.org. C a l l c e n t e r representative. Join established Athens company calling CEOs & CFOs of major corporations generating sales leads for tech companies. $9–11/hr. BOS Staffing, www. bosstaff.com, (706) 3533030. Line/Prep Cooks Needed.The Georgia Center has several positions available 20–40 hrs./week. Pay DOE/Minimum 3 years in full service restaurant. Email resumes to email@example.com.
3 BED 3 BATH HOUSE
AVAILABLE FEB. 2015
IN OLDE LEXINGTON TRACE
LARGE YARD, FIREPLACE, ALL ON ONE LEVEL
3 BED 2 BATH
AVAILABLE FEB. 2015
IN BEAR CREEK BOGART, GA.
4 BED 3 BATH COUNTRY HOUSE
AVAILABLE FEB. 2015
IN OCONEE COUNTY C. Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001
Drivers wanted in Athens and the surrounding areas! Must have own car/sedan. Clean MVR & proof of insurance is required. Knowledge of local area is a must. Drivers are paid commission per mile. Call Melisa Mon-Fri (770) 362-1340.
Bikini Modeling Contest. Winner receives $1000, poolside pro photo shoot and will represent Lazy Day Pools in our 2015 online, outdoor and print media events. No nudity! Apply at LazyDayPools.com
Notices Messages Happy Holidays from FLAGPOLE MAGAZINE! The office will be closed Monday, Dec. 22–Friday, Dec. 26. We will also be closed Jan.1 & 2.
HOUSE OR OFFICE
CLEANING HELP WITH ORGANIZING
LOCAL, INDEPENDENT, PET AND EARTH FRIENDLY TEXT OR CALL NICK FOR QUOTE
THE LODGE MOVE IN SPECIAL:
1/2 OFF 1ST MONTH’S RENT Move In Ready ON LY 2 Pet Friendly, LEFT ! Volleyball Court, Clubhouse, Pool and Campus Shuttle FURNISHED UNIT AND UNFURNISHED UNITS AVAILABLE
C. Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001
Copyright 2014 by The Puzzle Syndicate
HOW TO SOLVE: Week of 12/29/14 - 1/4/15
The Weekly Crossword 2
14 17 20
by Margie E. Burke
Copyright 2014 by The Puzzle Syndicate
HOW TO SOLVE: Week of 12/22/14 - 12/28/14
The Weekly Crossword 1
by Margie E. Burke 9
ACROSS 1 Casual talk 5 Caviar fish 9 Girl group? 14 Stratagem 15 Errand boy 16 Small egg 17 Release 18 Group of soldiers 19 Avalon or Azera 20 Lens needed for group shots 22 Latest fashion 23 Fall on ___ ears 24 Acclaim 26 Container weight 29 Playground game 30 Golf score 33 Book-related 37 Win over 39 Prepare for publication 40 Student drivers, usually 42 Portent 43 First-born 45 Samsonite product 47 Get a load of 48 Biretta or Beret 50 Like an unmixed drink 51 Sure Shot maker 53 Dieter's desire 56 Very bad
Solution to Sudoku: 33 34 35 39 43 47 56 57 58 63
Wine Steward/Winer y Associate position open at Chateau Elan. Responsibilities incl. but not limited to conducting daily tours and tastings, organization of wine market, wine and retail sales. Service industry experience and basic wine knowledge preferred. PT positions avail. Send resume to winemarket@ chateauelan.com.
UGA’s Georgia Center is hiring temporary banquet servers.Daily shifts avail. from 6 a.m-3 p.m. Free meal w/ each shift. Email resumes to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Edited by Margie E. Burke
Get paid to type! SBSA is a financial transcription company offering PT positions. Create your own schedule. Competitive production-based pay. Close to campus! Must be able to touch-type 65 wpm & have excellent English grammar/ comprehension skills. Visit our website to apply: www. sbsath.com.
Edited by Margie E. Burke
36 45 49 52 59 64
25 30 37
Copyright 2014 by The Puzzle Syndicate
59 63 64 65 66 67 68
28 Before, poetically 30 Reebok rival 31 Winning poker hand, often 32 Actress Russo 33 Harper, Tommy and Spike 34 Meaningless, as threats 35 Cheer alternative 36 What proposers DOWN want to hear 1 Type of sock 38 Grad-school 2 Like Orlando air goal 3 Audience 41 Late 60's Sally address Field TV role 4 Private 44 ER instrument 46 Baby powder conversation 5 2002 Mickey ingredient 49 Dead-player? Rourke film 6 Put up, as a 51 Execration 52 Herman's picture 7 Nimble Hermits lead 8 Discover singer Peter 9 Patty Hearst, to 54 Color of old the SLA, once photos 10 Turn away 55 Alleviates 11 Rihanna #1 hit 56 New Testament "___ Boy" book before 12 Enthusiasm Romans 13 Repair 57 Stimulate 21 From a distance 58 Sandpaper grit 25 TV dog of old 60 Food safety org. 27 Patio furniture 61 Crucifix 62 No more than material Taco topping Bird sound Fair to middling Vaulted recess High-strung Reverse Wedding cake layer 69 Romance writer Danielle 70 Honey wine 71 Ill at ___
33 36 39 42 47 54
37 40 43 45 55
35 38 41 44 46 51 57
ACROSS 1 Read cursorily 5 Turkey-cooker's task 10 Ooze 14 Scoop holder 15 Choose 16 Wheel shaft 17 Singing voice 18 Torch top 19 Hibiscus holder 20 Winter wear 22 Juice extractor 24 Eagle's nest 25 Obstacle 26 Lantern part 29 Larynx 33 Standard of perfection 34 Ship's mooring place 35 Denver to Des Moines direction 36 Leave port 37 Transport 38 Highlands family 39 Incite, with "on" 40 Muscle paralysis 41 Salk's conquest 42 Practice for a part 44 Pub 45 Bruins' org. 46 ___ of passage
Solution to Sudoku: 26
Copyright 2014 by The Puzzle Syndicate
47 50 54 55 57 58
Crashed out Impetus Burn slightly Die down Top-notch Word before ten or loose December ditty Unclothed Whirlpool Front door, eg. Fast walk
21 23 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
DOWN 1 Wound mark 2 Soft drink 3 Opposed to 4 Pertaining to newborns 5 Previously 6 Lessen, as fears 7 Stock exchange membership 8 TV network with old movies 9 Calvin Klein fragrance 10 Barbarian 11 Word after eye or oral 12 Otherwise 13 Social equal
59 60 61 62 63
40 41 43 44 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 56
Inmate's abode To ____ his own Penitent Money hoarder Saying Stable sound Song part ____ of the ball Studio sign words Inert gas Lightweight wood Turtle's shell Formal agreement Tempo Crown of the head Part of DOE Not late Brake part Persistent pain Caviar fish Arrive at LAX "The Boys in the Band" playwright Crowley Soldier's stint Loosen Track event Prohibit
Puzzle answers are available at www.flagpole.com/puzzles
DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014 · FLAGPOLE.COM
OF ATHENIANS MADE THE PLEDGE TO TRY TO SPEND $100 AT ATHENS’ INDEPENDENT BUSINESSES THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE WINNERS: MONICA HUFF EMILY ANDERSON KELLI BIVINS CHRIS ARMEL PAUL FLOYD SARAH DORSEY ANDY HOLLINGSWORTH ANNA KINSEY BONNIE BARTLES JERRY DANIEL MARY VLAHOS CRAVEN PLEASE COME BY THE FLAGPOLE OFFICE (220 PRINCE AVE.) TO CLAIM YOUR GIFT CERTIFICATES OR CALL 706-549-0301.
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On behalf of Flagpole, we wish you peace and happiness this holiday season, and give our sincerest thanks for your pledge.
FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014
Sad Casserole p. 24 · Townie Troubadours p. 25 · EarthArk® p. 26 · City Deer p. 2924 ·& Poop p. 30 23 DECEMBER 31, 2014 Lessons · FLAGPOLE.COM
Thanks, Y’all! What a wonderful season, when Flagpole readers become Flagpole contributors! Thanks a lot to all who have participated here. We didn’t have room for all the pieces you sent, but we appreciate them and the effort you put into them. Athens is filled with talented writers, photographers, cartoonists and other artists, and we’re happy that Slackpole can make room for more of your work in this issue. Thanks to your efforts, our staff can take the Christmas week off, while we keep this Flagpole/Slackpole at our distribution points all over the area while we’re gone. Happy New Year to our readers, contributors and advertisers!
Bachelor Casserole By Connor Kythas So Christmas (or whatever holiday really, provided said holiday involves a large dinner) is over. You have just… too much stuff in your fridge, wrapped shoddily in tin foil gathering bacteria. “I’m dry aging it!” you lie to whoever sees your sad icebox. “It’s gaining flavor by the minute!” It most certainly is! The longer you wait, the more the side dishes will taste like cardboard, and the meats will taste like shoe leather. Which, if that’s what you’re into, who am I to judge? This is a free country. I, however, hate eating cardboard and shoes. Because I’m a normal person. So here is what I do with the leftovers. So, first off, find yourself a casserole dish. You have one of those, right? If not, go to the grocery store and get a foil one for like a dollar. You know, the kind people use to make lasagna? That kind. Buy one of those. Any size will do, really. Just know that the bigger it is, the more food it will take to fill it (duh). Preheat your oven to 375 and grease your pan. If you use butter, it will taste amazing, and you will shave a few minutes off your life. Spray-canola oil is usually my choice, because it’s easy to spray it, and you can make flamethrower or laser-blaster sounds when you do it. Now, here comes the important part. Get ALL of your leftovers (aside from the desserts) out of your refrigerator. You will be making a leftover casserole today, and it is not a true leftover casserole, unless you use them all… because equality. Choose a bag or Tupperware full of something and put it in your pan in a single layer. Choose a different thing and spread it in a layer on top of the first thing. Continue layering things until you are out of things to layer. No real rules here about what should go above what. As a general rule, spread the meat layers out so that the other dishes
separate them. That is less of a flavor thing and more of a texture deal. Other than that, go crazy! Top with gravy. Bake for 45 minutes. You are done. After 45 minutes, your sad, bacheloresque casserole will be finished. Let it cool for a bit, then get a big-ass spoon and just kinda… scoop some on a plate. Crack a beer, or pour some wine. Maybe something nice to make yourself feel fancy. Or something crappy, so you can drink enough of it to feel fancy. There you have it, a perfectly mediocre meal. At least your fridge is 30 percent less full, now.
Yes, Virginia By John Huie Dear Editor, I am eight years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in Flagpole, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth: Is there a Santa Claus? Virginia, Your dad is right about Flagpole. As for your little friends… what do you think, Virginia? An old man in a ridiculous suit, riding reindeer around the sky? You are eight years old now, Virginia! When a grown-up tells you some strange story that no
child could believe… ask yourself why, Virginia. Why do people on TV want you to buy the latest in this or that, or build up this person while tearing down another? Look with childlike eyes, Virginia, when politicians promise to solve problems that nobody can see, but ignore the real ones all around… Or when they go chasing enemies near and far, yet have no friends here at home. What’s wrong, Virginia, when the poor are left no choices, and the wealthy few decide everything for their own benefit? When the land is destroyed around us to live for the present, yet nothing is saved for the future? When fear and ignorance are hawked like a magic drug, to make people powerless? Virginia, there are times to believe the unseen, or glimpse the unknowable—to heed the still, small voice within. That is common to our human quest; let no one take it from you. But neither should you let men poor in spirit sell you cheap or mundane substitutes. When the frightened and ignorant dress up their prejudices as religion—don’t let their false virtue fool you. When power is stripped of vision or humility, what kind of patriotism salutes it? If Santa came to give us great gifts, what would they be, Virginia? Food for all? Cures for our sicknesses? Machines to end work? Something more? But what… ? Believe it or not , Virginia, the world will soon be in your hands. And when it is… what do you want it to be?
snapped for slackpole
by Ali Phillips
New Year, New You!
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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014
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Z R M C J L G H R R A J E C M O D B
T L O Z C D L E M M T V I H C S H W
M O M B A E V A A G K I Z I D T V L
A Z B M S A N W B V T E O M L A O G
C I L Q N N P T R T X X Z V T L V Z
S A R D I N E S R P O B O D S G G F
T T U Z D U K E N I U O U A E I M G
S R E H C A E T R T C H F A Z A Y K
X Q J A P A G Q T G N U S M F D J X
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W D F P Y Z R F J T F T B A H O J N
H Z R T K M U D R T Y I D O S W H S
H E V F I N P O I E C N J M V P P Y
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New Adult Section!
The 12 Days of Athens By The Townie Troubadours
Jew at Christmas By Havivah Saltz
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, A libâ€™ral in a red sea.
Being a Jew during the winter holidays is hard; being a middle-school-aged Jew during the winter holidays is even harder. Everything at school is transformed into some twisted variation of Christmas. The periodic table is green and red, word problems are all on the topic of Santaâ€™s exponential present-making, and â€œextra funâ€? holiday crosswords are passed out. Last year, seventh grade, things were a little different, thank God. I donâ€™t know how happy I am about the fact that students have to be studying the Holocaust to be aware of Hanukkah, but at least everyone wasnâ€™t completely ignorant. Whenever it came up that I was Jewish, my classmates were usually very excited. â€œA real Jew, here?â€? â€œDoes she really celebrate Hanukkah?â€? â€˜â€œI heard you only get one present!â€? â€œWhatâ€™s a dreidel?â€? It was fun to be recognized for a change, and I basked in it for a while. Only a few days before the big winter break, our Family and Consumer Sciences classâ€”itâ€™s actually Home Ec., but they like to say â€œFamily and Consumer Sciences,â€? because it sounds more educational or somethingâ€”is waiting outside the classroom for the teacher to let us in. Weâ€™ve just recently wrapped up our unit on the Holocaust, and the Jew-induced buzz is starting to die down. Some kids next to me start up a conversation, and I, being the thriving social butterfly that I am, join in. The conversation somehow turns toward the topic of the break, as conversations tend to do, and then to the holidays. â€œIâ€™m Jewish,â€? I tell them, following their inquiry about my Christmas list. A girl in our group, big-boned, black hair, asks, in a state of wonder: â€œYouâ€™re Jewish?â€? â€œYeah.â€? And she looks around with some concern, her shoulders hunched secretively as if Iâ€™d just divulged my secret identity. She looks at me again and whispers in disbelief, â€œWere the soldiers mean?â€?
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two killer shows and a libâ€™ral in a red sea. On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three drunk friends, two killer shows, and a libâ€™ral in a red sea. On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, four Futurebirdsâ€Ś On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, five Golden Bowlsâ€Ś On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, six dudes-a-cyclingâ€Ś On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, seven blondes-a-twerkingâ€Ś On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eight walks-of-shamingâ€Ś On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, nine records spinningâ€Ś On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, ten bands-a-playingâ€Ś On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eleven townies laughingâ€Ś On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, 12 drummers drumming 11 townies laughing, 10 bands-a-playing 9 records spinning 8 walks-of-shaming 7 blondes-a-twerking 6 dudes-a-cycling 5 Golden Bowls 4 Futurebirds 3 drunk friends 2 killer shows and a libâ€™ral in a red sea.
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Not High School By Rob White Segregation Us and them They and me The line. One side us. The other side them. Cliques and mini-cliques
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DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014 Âˇ FLAGPOLE.COM
continued from p. 25
Hackers vs Makers. MakerHackers vs HackerMakers Tech vs Art vs Writing vs Tech vs Art vs Art vs Art vs Writing vs Poetry vs Critique Group vs Spoken Word vs All the Average Joes Waiting for Us to Stop Talking So the Band Can Come On Who the hell are we if we can’t work together? We are working together, you say We’re working with OUR together, over here. You go work with YOUR together, over there. UGA welcomes students of all disciplines! Sports! Music! Art! Sports! Science! The Science of Sports! All are welcome to join the big melting pot of UGA. All are welcome… All… Yes, I said all… Shoo, townie, shoo. All are welcome! Dammit, local musician, go crawl back into your Flicker Bar. No, student! Don’t follow the townie! Those ingrates carry diseases. You have everything you need right here! We spent millions on studio space, so you’d spend millions coming here. Local arts scene? What local arts scene? There’s campus where you work and bars where you play. Nothing else. Ignore the sound of Indie Rock coming from down the hill. It is only an illusion. See: Indie Rock Roger. Indie Rock Roger spends most of his time tending bar at Hendershot’s and playing guitar on open mic nights. Instrumental. He can’t sing. Roger won’t go up the hill, because that’s where all the booze-chugging, women-hating bros hang out, getting into fights in their khaki shorts and backwards ball caps. Now see: Ben the Bro. Ben the Bro spends most of his time getting wasted and scoring chicks at Cutters, when he isn’t at home feeding his dog and singing to an empty room. A capella. He doesn’t play guitar. Ben won’t go down the hill, because that’s where all the dirty, tattoo-covered, unshowered hipsters hang out with their beards and fedoras and faggy, skinny jeans. See, what the bro doesn’t know and what the hipster has missed here is that both drink the same shitty beer. Both go after the same girls on OkCupid. They both went through a Rage Against the Machine phase in high school. They both love their moms. They could make beautiful music together. But since one thinks bicycles are for queers and the other thinks pickup trucks are for rednecks—never the twain shall meet. I can’t even make a Romeo and Juliet metaphor here, because if I did, the Capulets would be fighting with other Capulets, and the Montegues and would be split into two Montegue groups, each of which thinks they came up with the name Montegue first. There’s a hell of a lot of art in this town. There’s a hell of a lot of art groups. There are tech groups and music groups and theater groups and writing groups and hip hop groups and dancing groups and fucking clown groups and Why the hell have we not turned into Art Voltron yet and stomped across the east coast, showing the world how it’s done? Because hipsters are dirty, and bros are gross, and old people are boring, and young people are irresponsible, and black people are loud, and white people are lame, and the only people we want to be around—the only people we want to make art around—is OUR friends in OUR bar. OUR team. OUR side. We’re all on the same damn side, Athens. Just think about
FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014
slackpole word search S P P I Y T N E L P U D A T A M O T
N N U E H J J C P H O T O T O P O S
E F O C Q Z W N M G P Y E V Z Q A M
W R Z I C Y E E Z H A R S F Q T A T
C P X Z T I Q D T N R K Q L O R P S
O B I P A A G I T A O B A A T E E T
M I G U Z K R S V V B Y N R E M R L
B A F F L E M E D U S A O J S E S T
V I B G Y O R R B N C C R O R R P C
L J A O F T B N O R K Q O J E G E A
F M N R E I O I A S E N C J V E C D
S S Y C T E T S A M U V X V I S T R
C U M D Y A N T X K Y J E Y N V I I
P Z O U U E H S P S O Y G R U I V H
what we could do if we all sat down in a room together, put down the stereotypes. Set down the xenophobia. Picked up a pen and paper, a guitar or a laptop—and just started dreaming.
® EarthArk By Heidi Espenscheid Nibbelink The day the Republicans entered the EarthArk® and sealed themselves off from the rest of humanity was a day of celebration for what was now the Democratic United States of America. They left to prove that they were right and we were wrong, and pretty soon we’d have no choice but to admit it, when they were enjoying peace and plenty inside the dome that extended across the Independent Republic of Texas and into the gulf waters of Louisiana and Alabama. They left us outside with our Obamacare and our Internet, our Grand Theft Auto V and our hip hop devil music and booty-dancing, which were wounding the soul of America like a poisoned dart to the heart. The Democrats declared a 10-day National Period of Celebration, during which work was cancelled; everyone could go to the doctor for anything without an appointment (the doctors had to keep working, but no one mentioned that), and there was a symbolic smashing of the sign at the headquarters of Fox News. Beyond that, the Democrats couldn’t agree on what else would properly express the “good riddance” sentiment felt by the whole nation. Just when
T M J Q H E N I R R E D O N Y I E T
E Z E T N W N T X U C Y H C N P S Z
I M A S J S Y R C A Y A T R I Y X Z
Q S X I S T N A H P E L E P T X Z O
athens arts ARTISTS IN RESIDENCE ART ROCKS ATHENS ATHENS ARCANA BAFFLE MEDUSA BITDOME ELEPHANT SIX EMERGES VII EQUATIONS NEWCOMB PERSPECTIVES PHOTOTOPOS PUCCI REDON REVERBERATIONS ROYGBIV TERRAVERTE THIRDACT TINY UNIVERSE TOMATA DU PLENTY
consensus seemed near, the next senator so-and-so would bring up a point like, “But what message is this sending to the immigrant population if we select a pineapple as the historic symbol of welcome, when so much of the Latin American and East Asian world has been negatively impacted by the predatory agribusiness practices of Big Pineapple?” So, after the first day, with its dramatic television footage of the Sealing of the Final Door: EarthArk®, people mostly just lazed around and had barbecues in the backyard with their like-minded neighbors. There was only one link between the EarthArk® and the Democratic United States of America, and that was a tiny monitor located in the CNN headquarters building in Atlanta. Only two people had access to the room in which it was housed—Wolf Blitzer and the President of the United States. The monitor pumped the CNN news broadcast into EarthArk® headquarters, and it showed Wolf Blitzer what was going on inside the EarthArk®, which was usually two guys staring back at him in the monitor, occasionally eating tomatoes or picking their noses. Periodically, there would be an actual news update: number of births and deaths, crop yields, election results. In the first years after the Republicans left us, everything was great. Scads and wads and loads of new legislation was passed by the one-party Congress, and Supreme Court cases were decided with lightning speed. Marijuana legalized across the nation? Done. Universal Heath Care (ObamaCareUniversal 2.0)? Done. Marriage equality between whomever for whenever? No problem.
Enormous swathes of the country were set aside and protected from fracking, drilling, energy exploration, snowmachines, four-wheelers, motor vehicle traffic of any sort, new construction, porta-potties, hunting, swimming and feeding the bears. You could look all you wanted, if you could find a means of acceptable access, but you couldnâ€™t touch. Hot air ballooning became a popular pastime.
snapped for slackpole
by Kelly Doyle-Mace
8 * /2014/ & 3 -
Not So Hot By year five, things werenâ€™t so hot. It turns out Democrats do not have the gift of money management. Allocating and spending, they were geniuses of. The making and the saving, not so much. The only ones who seemed to have a knack for it were Hollywood stars, music moguls and professional athletes, and it turned out they had a childlike understanding of moneyâ€™s significance, unable to operate beyond the scope of â€œMine!â€? and â€œWant more!â€? We had to take it away from them, for their own good. The doctors began to get tired of working all the time, even on holidays, and especially during the 10-day annual Leaving Day Remembrance. As a concession to healthcare workers, the 10-day celebration was cut to five days, which incited riots and walkouts by workers in other fields who had already booked tickets for two-week cruises. People still came in droves to stand on the edges of the national parks and reserves, looking wistfully from the overlooks at the formerly wealthy but still-better-off-than-they celebrities drifting through the valleys in their hot-air balloons.
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Rumors It didnâ€™t take long for the protest movement to form a militant wing, who declared the only way in was by force. Meanwhile, rumors had begun to circulate about a leak in the Louisiana region, a secret tunnel, regular shipments of pornography and of the plentiful, legal weed that Midwestern farmers now cultivated as a cash crop, sudden population swells in the border regions. The government dismissed these rumors as wishful thinking, an official position CNN dutifully passed along, while simultaneously conducting their own, fruitless investigations. It was a Tuesday night three weeks before the 13th annual
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By year 10, there were food shortages and transportation catastrophes. Fossil-fuel use had been outlawed, but supply couldnâ€™t keep up with demand for electric vehicles. â€œWe should have gone with them,â€? people began to mutter. A protest group started showing up every weekend outside the Amarillo entrance to the EarthArkÂŽ with signs that said, â€œTake us in,â€? and, â€œThus sayeth the Lord; there shall be a second harvest.â€? Eventually, the protesters built a tent city that stretched for skinny miles along the edge of the Ark, its reflective surface showing them only their own desperate longing. There had been no news from inside for several years; Wolf Blitzer and President Gennifer Garfield (no relation to the assassinated leader of 1881) had begged, pleaded and threatened, but the two monitor-minders just gazed steadily back, eating tomatoes like they were apples, not even cutting them up.
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DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014 Âˇ FLAGPOLE.COM
continued from p. 27
Leaving Day Celebration, when the president picked up a call on the secure line directly from the monitor room. “They’re gone,” Wolf Blitzer said. “Who’s gone?” President Garfield asked, peevishly. She’d had a devil of a day, narrowly avoiding a Waco-Texas-circa1993-shitstorm between her government forces and a band of militants with blowtorches. She was in no mood for obfuscation. “The Ark monitor guys. The monitor is still on, but the room is empty.” “Maybe they both had to take a dump at the same time. All those tomatoes.” President Garfield let out one bark of bitter laughter, then said, “Keep me informed,” and the line went dead. Wolf called back the next day. And the next. And so it came to pass, that on the first day of the 13th annual Leaving Day Celebration, President Garfield announced that the barrier would be breached, that there were grave concerns about the Republicans’ well-being, and that a small team would be sent in to assess the situation and report back to the President and the public. People who hadn’t thought much about the Republicans in years—their parents, aunts and uncles, those Republican neighbors from across the road who always let them borrow their lawnmower when the Democrat family couldn’t get their act together to keep gas in their own—suddenly worried and pulled out old photo albums and spent barbecue time reminiscing about the Before days. There had been a measure of peace, they collectively realized, in believing their loved ones to be safe. The Republicans had always been so sure, so self-righteous, so positive in the correctness of their beliefs. Surely they had managed to create the perfect society they’d always dreamed of and had never been able to shut up about while they were still among us, had never been able to stop trying to impose on people who had no interest. While CNN couldn’t report on the classified technology used to breach the EarthArk’s® carapace, a government team was successfully inserted inside. They spent days rolling through the dome in their Tesla, encountering evidence of a thriving agrarian economy, but no people. Reporters speculated on the vanishing—theories abounded from divine Rapture to molecular vaporization. More troops were sent in to conduct a grid-by-grid sweep. In the end, there was only one official survivor, a four-year-old boy found sleeping in the rec-room of a cabin on a Louisiana lake, a pile of tomatoes in various stages of ripeness beside him and a Monopoly game board with all the houses and hotels stacked on his side.
RIP George Allgood By Jim Hawkins On Nov. 25, my lifelong friend George Allgood came to my studio, and I made a recording with him. I have just learned
slackpole word search W S J U I Q J J E Z R H U W F J Y B
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he passed away Friday night, Dec. 12, 17 days later. I’m exactly five months older than George; we met at the YMCA when we were about 9 years old. We were some of Kelly’s boys. We shared a lot of interests, including piano and ham radio. George gave me my Novice FCC license exam before either of us had a license to drive. He was a skilled radio operator. His call sign was K4PYM. In later years, when the FCC started giving “vanity” calls, he had his changed to his initials, W4GFA, and his wife Darla, a ham, too, took his old call and kept it in the family. His Morse Code speed was almost superhuman. He could copy about 40–45 words per minute. He did this in his head without writing anything down. When it came to sending, telegraph keys were too slow; he used a keyboard. He was a member of a group that called themselves “The Chicken Fat Society.” They had to grease their keyboards with chicken fat, so their fingers could move fast enough. Sadly, in ham radio parlance George is now a “silent key.” George was an equally impressive musician. At the piano, we deconstructed Ray Charles songs. He played baritone in the Athens High School Band and was also a member of a group called “The Mark IV,” who played a lot of dances and
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parties. Our interest in radio and music sort of naturally led us to an interest in broadcasting, and George soon found work as a disc jockey at Athens’ Top 40 station, WDOL. He married young, and the quest for better pay led him to a station in Cartersville, GA. After a few months there, he was offered a better opportunity in Walhalla, SC at radio station WGOG. I believe my band trailer facilitated both of those moves. When I first went to work in Macon, before we became Capricorn, in fact while studio construction was underway, I produced a record for Billy Young, which was released on Bang Records, and George played piano on it. In about February of 1969 as the studio was becoming operational, he moved to Macon and took a job in the news department of radio station WMAZ, so he might be able to play sessions at the studio. (This was before Hornsby, Sandlin, Carr and Popwell arrived that summer, and about a month before Duane got there with what would become the Allman Brothers Band). However, George’s then-wife decided after about two weeks she was going back to South Carolina. George turned in his notice at the radio station and went back too.
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He left Walhalla one other time to return home to Athens and work as news director for WRFC from 1989â€“1992, and upon returning, he served as vice-president and general manager of WSNW in neighboring Seneca. In Walhalla, George played country music with guitarist Jimmy Rogers at Melody Acres; he played solo in restaurants, and he played in his church. It was an album of hymns we recorded while he was at my studio. He was having them pressed for Christmas gifts. I feel a great loss. The friends you keep that long are the really good ones. Iâ€™ll miss you George. Iâ€™m so glad we got to make that recording. RIP my friend.
Dis-Advantaged By Lisa Majersky
end of year
inventory close out
Skype psychiatristâ€” Never saw me before No eye contact Stares down at my records. Where is she really? Is she even in Georgia? Ignores what Iâ€™m saying Wonâ€™t change my dosage. Prescribes something different, Does not phone it in. Pharmacy puzzledâ€” I am not. Money money money Cheap cheap cheap Donâ€™t worry about it, Itâ€™s only my brain.
call cocktails and select microbrew beers
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At least look at the camera, Lady. (BITCH).
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by Susan Clay & Jen Wolf
Deer Here By Bowen Craig Is it just me, or are the deer in this town cockier than other deer? Are there any Athenians whoâ€™ve lived here for more than a year who havenâ€™t at least almost run over a deer with their car? Iâ€™ve almost hit a huge variety of deer combinations: one deer, two deer, a family of four deer/two deer couples on a double date. Once, late at night, I had to hit the brakes hard and skid to a â€œDukes of Hazzardâ€? sliding stop in the middle of West Lake to avoid hitting what looked to be an entire mobile community of deer, a large group of wandering four-legged Bedouin. They all lived. So did my car. But, while I was idling and smelling the burning rubber of my tires, waiting for my heart rate to drop and watching deer after deer slowly cross the road, seemingly oblivious to the fact that all of us just nearly died, I had to wonder why the hell Athens has the most brazen deer in the world. The one thing that the gigantic variety of deer that Iâ€™ve almost killed have in common is that none of them have been afraid of me. Arenâ€™t deer known for being skittish? Arenâ€™t they prey animals? Donâ€™t their African cousins have to routinely run away from lions? Iâ€™ve seen the footage. Do Athensâ€™ deer ever get postcards from their friends in other parts of the state, areas where all men over the age of seven own shotguns, areas where mounted animal heads are as much a part of home decoration as carpet and toilets? Do our local deer know just how good theyâ€™ve got it? It is a rhetorical question, but I think we all know the answer. I do have a solution. I propose a new ACC policy, the Deer Reality Check Initiative, or, since itâ€™s now mandatory that
k continued on next page
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spot a pile of poop loaded with persimmon seeds. I savor this wild fruit and want to be sure there are plenty of native persimmon trees growing here for future generations. Quickly, every phrase over two words long needs to go by its acronym, I reach in my pocket for a plastic bag and scoop up the pile the DRCI. The DRCI is a lot like the Rotary Club internafrom the trail to plant in a better location. Even without the tional kid-swap, but much less important. Once we adopt help of animal tracks, I know who left this scat that’s full of the DRCI as law, we’ll begin sending one of our complacent shiny, brown seeds. A coyote has been here! Athens deer to somewhere in Through the cool, predawn air, South Georgia for a year. In return a raucous yipping, yowling and they, the county in South Georgia, high-pitched howling may echo will send one of their understandfrom the woods and fields near ably frightened deer up here for Tallassee Road. The wild wailings a year. In the next 12 months, may also resound from ridges both deer will learn about a culabove the banks of the Middle ture different from their own. Oconee River. Who needs walking After a year, we swap them back, zombies for eerie entertainment provided that the Athens deer’s when the wild coyotes call in the head isn’t mounted on a wall in night? Valdosta, and the South Georgia Coyotes have scat like that of deer didn’t overdose after his a small dog, but it’s loaded with a third rap-metal band broke up. variety of non-dog foods. Hairs of This groundbreaking program, mice, rats, chipmunks and other the DRCI, should solve our deer rodents often stick out, along problem. I don’t want to shoot the with other undigested remains of deer. It’s nice that they consider snacks and meals. our town a safe haven from their Sometimes, insect parts make usual early morning slaughter the scat shimmer in the morning zones in the rest of the state, but I sun, especially when the insects still want them to run away when eaten were Green June Beetles scat for slackpole (Cotinus nitida). A while ago, I they get busted eating our flowers. They still need to flee in panicked pried a dried, old patty of coyote terror when a one-ton motorized poop off the ground. The center vehicle barrels toward them and split open and something round their children at three in the morning. I’m not trying to rid and small began slowly moving toward me. As if dazed and the town of deer. In fact, the very reason for the DRCI is to confused, a dirty, yet still very much alive and wonderfully irikeep our deer alive. Is it too much to ask that we do it in a descent June beetle crept forth into the sunlight. Apparently, way that also protects our hood ornaments? it had been swallowed whole, survived the digestive juices inside the coyote’s stomach and was deposited alive to tell the tale. I put Jonah the June bug gently into the grass and put the remaining seed-packed scat into my bag. By Liz Conroy I know that seeds that have passed through the gut of an animal are much more ready to sprout. The digestive proHappiness on a hike is discovering a pile of predator’s scat cesses weaken the seed coat, so the embryo can break through on the trail, preferably before stepping into it. Think of scat as its tough outer covering with greater ease. The surrounding both the calling card and current-events bulletin created by a scat also provides fertilizer for the seed. These persimmon passing critter. What the animal ate, when it traveled on the seeds are precious, so I promptly plant them in sunny areas trail, its species and the territorial statement it is making: All where they can grow. Hikers: Take time to scoop the poop to are revealed by the lowly pile on the path. get the latest trail news from our wild brothers and sisters! As the late Eugene Odum (UGA’s “Father of Ecology”) once explained to me, signs of native predators in an area indicate a healthy ecosystem—a natural balance is occurring as the herbivores (plant-eaters) are kept in check. Scat is scientifically useful because of the information it offers about By Grady Thrasher different predators. Research scientists who study wildlife may survey scat to estimate how many of each kind of carniI am Emily, old and anorexic, vore (meat-eaters) are visiting a certain area. My food bowl says “God,” to anyone dyslexic. While hiking in the woods near my house, I’m pleased to continued from p. 29
by Bill Pierson
Reflections on Being Really Old
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But like human beings of equivalent age My moods swing easily from passive to rage, And mostly I spend my days just napping, With a break now and then for peeing and crapping. Unlike humans I do it outside For me, a good poop is nothing to hide. But to void while avoiding notice portends Old persons today must depend on Depends.
Athens Monuments By Tifton B. Merritt Many people over the years have tried to put their fingers on just what it is that makes Athens so special. Perhaps a look at our public monuments provides the clue: We don’t take ourselves too seriously. Double-Barreled Cannon Though it guards City Hall, it never worked as intended, and its test-fire killed a cow, knocked down a chimney and nearly eliminated the onlookers. Tree That Owns Itself The charming story of the Tree at the end of Dearing Street was made up by a local newspaper publisher. Never trust them. Iron Horse The horse was too modern for the 1956-model UGA students, so they ran it out of town. It now stands proudly in a cornfield 15 miles out Highway 15 south, still looking modern, though lonely. Anchor The U.S. Navy Supply Corps School weighed anchor but sailed off to Newport, RI, without this one. Confederate Soldier Typical of his brothers all over the South, he’s a monument to a lost cause. Steeple The Steeple is the only piece left standing from the old St. Mary’s Episcopal Church, made famous as the site of the first public performance by R.E.M., the band that’s no longer standing. Trestle Bridge to Nowhere. Once connecting Athens to the world, it no longer even connects us to Winterville. Made famous on the cover of an R.E.M. album. Bulldogs Conceived as a fundraising project for a women’s club, they were supposed to have been raffled off after three years. After 10, they’re still around. Eagle It sits atop City Hall but is too heavy to serve its intended purpose as a weathervane. It provides a great perch for starlings, though. Elijah Clarke Namesake of Clarke County. Defeated the British at Kettle Creek; seceded from the new union and tried to establish his own, short-lived Trans-Oconee Republic. Good namesake. The Arch Made out of an old boiler and some lamp posts, it perfectly represents the DIY aesthetic necessitated by today’s approach to funding higher education. f
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For me, sixteen is neither sweet nor prime. I’m a hundred and twelve in people time.
Hwy 29 South · Hull, GA 706.548.2005 fringesalonga.com
GRO U N D U N D ERWEAR
TUESday, DECEMBER 30
the dictatortots, hayride & the arcs
By Pete McBrayer & Carrie Tatum The answer to each clue is exactly two words. The last three letters of the first word are the first three letters of the second word. So “Finely crushed boxers and brassieres” would be “GROUND UNDERWEAR.” Other examples: “BARBARIC RICHT” (some proper names are used) and “STONER NERD”. Take the first letter of each “threesome” and spell out a holiday message. Got it? Answers at townieville.blogspot.com
1. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 2. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 3. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 4. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 5. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 6. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 7. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 8. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 9. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 10. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 11. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 12. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 13. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 14. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 15. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 16. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 17. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 18. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 19. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 20. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 21. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 22. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 23. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 24. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 25. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 26. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 27. ______________ ▭ ▭ ▭ ______________ 1. Deadly football positions? 2. Type of melon for a counting device. 3. Cleaver kid has believability. 4. NBA star Anthony skips the wedding ceremony. 5. A Barbary pirate boards a jumbo jet, for example. 6. Tire part for Ahab or Kirk. 7. Additional northwestern state. 8. X-rated video makes one cantankerous. 9. Story song for a miss? 10. American marsupial gets an order to appear before a judge. 11. Late-night talk show host goes to world capital. 12. Got much smaller, only part of a foot. 13. Fu Manchu or Handlebar, for example, with fruit.
14. Bomb shelter with board game that sounds like an accident. 15. Fine tree for a desk or syrup, por favor. 16. Chef Boyardee dish for a powerful few. 17. Legendary Jewish monster drives a clunker? 18. Send a message from a phone to something long dead. 19. The, an, or a popular product for teens. 20. FX spy goes to someone like Wonder Woman. 21. Greek god of war goes someplace to eat. 22. Rudy Ray Moore character has a thing. 23. Small monkey seems wary. 24. Change of scenery? 25. Ice cream topping is full of sadness. 26. Pool hustler in the state nicknamed “The Natural State.” 27. For everyone, a delicious pink fish.
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18 & over / ID reqd. Tickets available online and at Georgia Theatre Box Office
WEDNESDAY, DEC. 31
New Year's Eve WITH
THURSDAY, JAN. 8
THE FUNK BROTHERHOOD PRESENTS
(TRIBUTE TO KOOL AND THE GANG) WITH
DOORS 8:00PM • SHOW 9:00PM
FRIDAY, JAN. 9
THE REVIVALISTS WITH
AJ GHENT & LARKIN POE
DOORS 8:30PM • SHOW 9:15PM
SATURDAY, JAN. 3
FAMILY AND FRIENDS WITH
ROADKILL GHOST CHOIR AND
DOORS 8:00PM • SHOW 9:00PM
SATURDAY, JAN. 10
CHARLES BRADLEY WITH
NATE & THE NIGHTMARES DOORS 8:00PM • SHOW 9:00PM
TUESDAY, JAN. 6 & WEDNESDAY, JAN. 7
THE DIRTY GUV’NAHS
DOORS 8:00PM • SHOW 9:00PM
MONDAY, JAN. 12
“RIDE A’ROLLA” ALBUM RELEASE PARTY WITH
DOORS 7:30PM SHOW 8:30PM
1/15 1/16 1/17 1/19 1/21
SHADE, CHIEF SCOUT & CONCORD AMERICA DOORS 8:00PM • SHOW 9:00PM
CHRIS KNIGHT LETTUCE GREENSKY BLUEGRASS W/ THE LAST BISON THE NILE PROJECT RIFF RAFF
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DECEMBER 24 & 31, 2014 · FLAGPOLE.COM
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