Memoirs of a mascara addict

Content’s page

Page

4

– memoirs

of

mascara addict Page 5 – editor’s letter Page 7 – in style Page 11 – tragic heroines?

Page 17 - procrastination Page 20 – Cinderella

Love and heartbreak? The two words are synonymously linked, ruling the way we perceive love forever. An eternally, entwining, and downward looking pairing like this can create vicious circles of poisonous ‘trust’.

Of course, if the pain isn’t satiated the spirals and heartbreak can become so immense and inescapable that undoubtedly your heart won’t ‘even bleed anymore’. You will awake and arise like a dead corpse, wondering where the next sweet stab of pain will come from. Too much heartbreak however can’t ever be contained or swept aside either, so don’t devalue the power of love. Eventually a poisonous saturation begins within the heart ready to spit at all culprits. Playing the crying game with someone’s heart is a risky business especially if a few words can floor you.

editor’s letter Welcome to the first edition of memoirs of a mascara addict! – a zine which understands a few scribbles or smudges within the pages of a magazine can make the world go round. It can inspire writing, debate and spark a thousand thoughts….

It is easy to admire and uphold the image of a beautiful woman going through a period of trauma or misery, but do people know too much admiration is a societal trap?

As the Phantom of the Opera returns to theatres, you may wonder why the musical is so popular. The musical is portrayed sometimes as a platform or medium for malcontents, dark hearts, the heartbroken and tragic heroes, and heroines. Although these may not be real sub-divisions of society, they are sometimes how we all feel. Characters we can revere or relate to when things are not going right. So, what does that mean? It means that a penchant for adoring such characters like the flamboyant Phantom of the Opera could indicate that society is hooked on seeing women fail, cry, or experience heartbreak, through his main muse Christine, who has to choose the phantom for the darker part of her tragic heart, or her happier and healthier mind through Raoul. If the tragic heroine mascara runs and smudges beautifully too, well then life is perfect for us all sometimes.

It may seem like a beautiful image, some harmless fun, or an inspirational persona, that creates life and nurtures our emotional side.

The whole thing feeds schadenfreude? A dark snake that bolsters up when things go wrong for another woman, one which can turn into a normal functioning human being into an animal that needs rehabilitation more than once a month to function properly.

Stopping or banning the entire thing is ludicrous too, as every male has a female partner, and all have problems inside their own circle of trust, and discussing one women’s heartbreak and misery, makes his circle even darker. There’s no way out, as it is a complicity that is a societal fact, one only discussed in a gentlemen’s club where women can’t see sense, or anything at all.

So, what does that mean? It means that for many women experiencing domestic abuse is something they choose themselves, because they want to appear like a ‘saint’, ‘altruistic’ or more importantly the ‘heroine’. As politically incorrect as ‘god hates fags, America and now women’ as it sounds, there may be more than a grain of truth in the above sentiments. No one here is saying her domestic abuse is made up in order to ‘get attention’, but a sign of the times where altruism is mistaken for experiencing abuse, and most of all, not complaining about it, until of course we or she sober up ourselves/themselves. There is a real problem within society where people feel that experiencing abuse and vituperation (fluent and sustained abuse) means that you are a ‘good person’ – a puritanical way of looking at the situation which may not be doing the right thing. Despite not belonging to the same doctrine – turning the other cheek is not sacrosanct ‘Krishna’ or the way ‘Jesus wills’, but a clever machine that involves everyone’s complicity from close members of your household to the church and even the religion, road, and cornerstones opposing everything you could possible believe in apart from the ‘wife’ or as they like to term her ‘the knife’ as the source of all ‘evil’.

Meaning? Women are always seen as the most saturated form of Satan, collecting the elixir of ‘life’ slowly, but surely, especially the good ones, who can be nothing but calculating, shrewd and in waiting.

Procrastination You can take as long as you want! You really can! - I always tend to agree with these types of people, ones who indulge your lazy side and tell you to just 'relax and don't do it'. At the first sign of any trouble, I always ensure I take a long rest! It's very tiring you know, getting emotionally upset. Some take a bath, some take a holiday, I just have a nice snooze and lie down. But that's when your brain begins to think, and thoughts start racing? That's when procrastination rears it's ugly head. No one ever procrastinates, unless you are a philosopher, a great thinker or someone who is 'caring, kind and deep, and more than likely a water sign'. It's always this combination, and we meet in bookstores and all nod at books like 'High Fidelity' and understand that 'You Got Mail' main star Tom Hanks, may not hit the correct spot, but has got the right idea, and is a step in the right direction. The rest of you do not know us, we are a special breed of human, that thinks before we do anything really, and best of all we don't think that could be you. It means that we are a part of a separate echelon, thank you very much, a hierarchy that you couldn't dream of, and haven’t sensed either, and hopefully never will.

Well, that's outlined the perimeters, something isn’t right here, we don't need to do that, it's a subtle sense that can move mountains for us... I smell a rat. Procrastination is not something small, or something a lover of books, writing or philosophy could ever ignore.

To be or not to be - that is the question. Should you dwell on things for longer than the expected time, or should you 'just, shut your trap and just get on with it - whatever it is?'.

It used to be a god send reading up on a understanding 'piece' in Psychologies magazine, about how Psychologists recommend being easier on 'yourself' and claiming things like 'giving yourself a break' is actually good for you, and is an indicator of good health. Getting your serotonin levels higher and lowering dopamine, was and still is, naturally, of course a lifestyle choice, and not a philosophical question, although it did and still does feel like one sometimes. A concurrence of societal facts, sometimes, created by the modern world, and of course modern thinkers and thinking procrastination ultimately is not the glamorous accessory that was once thought. Psychologist and experts believe it is a bit like seeing a rabbit’s foot - tragedy. Watching a film or reading a tragedy like Hamlet or Macbeth is full of its own perils, especially if the societal norms around you believe in omens of bad luck or are superstitious. For other's it is more than that, a labyrinth of possibilities that creates and invites drama in your life. Many societal norms feel that reading something like Macbeth or a story that is essentially a tragedy can only spell doom. It's like an Actor visiting the theatre and not uttering the word 'Macbeth', as doing so will only invoke bad luck, spark a bad memory, or bring out the worst in people, especially their superstitious sides. It seems that 'thinking too much' is also wrong in everybody's books, apart from the 'procrastinator', the person in question who dwells on things very, very deeply and thinks too much according to other people's standards. You may have heard 'many old wives’ tales' about how you shouldn't think too deeply, or 'don't dwell on the past' and then... 'get up. And have a bath'. But did you ever think whilst you were lost in all those thoughts, that they may be correct? That their unemotional stance could have more than a grain of truth? I mean what do they know anyway, and how could this be true that they know more than me, because I'm a thinker, and 'critics' are nothing but a bunch of cynical and unemotional machines, tipped perfect thoughts they clearly are not? Anyway, that's the normal reaction to completely write them off, as the

and deep analysis to keep me company, with a sense of irony as my only guide map to turn into stony-hearted serial killers in the very near future. And me, I'm a deep thinker with only to life, and looking back probably my biggest mistake.

Life is simple