THE OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF THE WOMEN’S FLAT TRACK DERBY ASSOCIATION (WFTDA) ISSUE 9, FALL 2010
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editor she who cannot be named rocky mountain rollergirls copy editor vera n. sayne rocky mountain rollergirls content manager annsanity rocky mountain rollergirls art director assaultin’ pepa rocky mountain rollergirls contributing writers dahmernatrix san diego derby dolls
from the editor Welcome to the ninth issue of fiveonfive magazine, the official magazine of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA)!
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Greetings Derby Folk!
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As I write this I am en route from Pueblo, Colorado back to Denver after a night
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of derby at the State Fair. It never ceases to amaze me how this sport can bring people together no matter what the setting – college basketball arena, outdoor
john rudoff, m.d., facc portland, oregon
hockey rink, live music theater – we’ll take it! Another thing that makes me misty
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is the sense of passion that is ever-present when in conversation with fellow
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derby peeps. Rookie, vet, ref, NSO, announcer – no matter the level of involvement, the demonstration of love for the game is profound and this was not
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lost on the crowd at the Colorado State Fair. So, it was a nice way to wrap up the
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summer and start looking toward the fall.
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The fall season can mean only one thing for WFTDA peeps – tournament time! As we ramp up for what has been dubbed the “Bataan Death March” of derby,
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it’s important to remember why we give this fabulous sport our all – because of
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the love and enthusiasm that it generates. Not only are the WFTDA Big 5
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Tournaments a showcase for the top level of competition in women’s flat track roller derby, they are a demonstration of what people can accomplish when they
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come together with a common goal in mind. In this issue, we have a great
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preview of the whole shebang from DNN’s own Justice Feelgood Marshall (page
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16). Check it out, and start speculating!
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This issue also features some new contributors. To name a few: Racer McChaseHer of Detroit Derby Girls gives us her take on blowout games (page
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22), Pelvis Costello channels Siskel and Ebert with his review of Blood on the Flat
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Track, the story of the Rat City Rollergirls (page 54) and Thomas Gerbasi muses
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about the UFC/Derby Connection (page 42). If you’d like to join the ranks of these awesome contributors, send your story ideas to content@fiveonfivemag.com. Or, if you’d just like to rant, rave, send praise or what have you, drop a line to editor@fiveonfivemag.com. We’d love to hear from you!
cover photo joe schwartz joerollerfan.com fiveonfive magazine info@fiveonfivemag.com facebook.com/fiveonfive fiveonfivemag.com
She Who Cannot Be Named #88 Rocky Mountain Rollergirls Denver, CO editor@fiveonfivemag.com
contributors
Many thanks to our contributors who come from all over the roller derby community and share their knowledge based on their countless hours of dedication to this sport! Check out additional contributors at fiveonfivemag.com.
G. No-Evil
John Rudoff, M. D., FACC
Betty Ford Galaxy
G. No-Evil met derby in 2007 after his wife morphed into a derby girl while he was away on a six-month deployment. From then on until 2009 he coached and volunteered with SCRV. In 2009 he went full time playing for the Puget Sound Outcasts. G. No-Evil opened Leadjammer Skates in 2008, which offers custom built skates for every type of derby skater. He has contributed to research and development for companies such as Bont and Sure Grip.
John Rudoff aka “Johnny the Knife” is a cardiologist, competitive rower, derby groupie and photographer for the Rose City Rollers of Portland, Oregon. He raises his daughter Hannah and is married to Joanne, a mesomorphic jock gynecologist.
Betty Ford Galaxy skated for the Throttle Rockets of the Rat City Rollergirls for four seasons before making the switch to coach and skater for the Camaro Harem of the Jet City Rollergirls. In 2007 she started the Seattle Derby Brats, who are now in their third full season.
Pelvis Costello
Sinful Sally
Racer McChaseHer
Steven LaFond is a freelance writer and current student in Bennington College’s low-residency MFA program. In addition to writing, as Pelvis Costello he is the “mouth” of the Boston Derby Dames and New Hampshire Roller Derby. He lives in Arlington, Massachusetts with his wife, Dreadnought who skates on the Boston Derby Dames’ 2009 Fez Cup Championship team, the Nutcrackers. You can check up on his recent exploits at derbywidow.blogspot.com.
Sinful Sally joined the Rockford Rage Women’s Roller Derby four years ago. She has worn many hats including Special Events Coordinator, VP, President, PR/Marketing Coordinator and Training Staff to her current position as WFTDA Relations Coordinator. On the track she prefers to wear the star or the stripe and would rather be on all 8s than on the floor. Her background in sports medicine and exercise physiology provide a solid base for staying healthy on and off the track.
Racer McChaseHer started derby in November 2006 and is the current President of the Detroit Derby Girls. She has been the travel team captain since 2008 and was MVP of Eastern Regionals in 2007, MVP of Detroit Derby Girls 2008 and 2010. Racer has been a competitive speed skater since age 8 and is an attorney by day.
health and fitness
Protein Power Pasta Catholic Cruel Girl, Rocky Mountain Rollergirls
Packed with protein – made to eat about an hour after intense physical activity to help repair muscles and speed recovery time. pasta makes 10 cups ingredients: 4 cups Kamut pasta spirals 1 cup cooked organic green split peas (using dried peas and cooking yourself results in a more desirable texture) 2 cups finely chopped spinach 1 cup shredded carrots (a large box shredder works great or you can buy pre-shredded carrots) Ginger Citrus Vinaigrette makes 2/3 cup ingredients: Ÿ cup sesame oil Ÿ cup rice wine vinegar 1 medium shallot, minced 1 large clove garlic, minced 2 teaspoons ginger, minced
Cook pasta according to package directions. 2 whole red bell peppers, diced (either roasted or raw – roasted will have a sweeter flavor) 1 cup chopped almonds ½ cup raw sunflower seeds 3 tablespoons unhulled sesame seeds (these can be found at most health food stores. If you cannot find unhulled, regular will do)
Cook green split peas according to package directions. While pasta and beans are cooking, chop spinach, dice peppers, shred carrots and combine with almonds, sunflower seeds and sesame seeds into a medium mixing bowl. When pasta and peas are done, drain and immediately rinse under cold water. Pat dry with kitchen towel. Stir together pasta and peas in a large mixing bowl. Once mixed, add remaining ingredients and thoroughly combine. Toss with enough dressing to lightly coat. (You will most likely have some leftover dressing).
2 teaspoons agave nectar 1 teaspoon soy sauce Zest of 1 lemon Juice of ½ lemon
Questions, comments and feedback are welcomed at recipes@fiveonfivemag.com
photo by Jean Schwarzwalder
Whisk together all ingredients until completely combined.
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feature
belts in derby G I N G E R S N A P, G OT H A M G I R L S R O L L E R D E R B Y
I hate your belt. Derby pet peeve number one? Crappy halftime bands. Number two? “Whipping belts.” Or, as I like to call them, “finger manglers.” “Whipping belts” assault every nerve in my derby body. A well-executed whip is a beautiful thing, but clutching at your teammate’s belt is like microwaving a filet mignon because you never bothered to learn how to use the stove. You won’t want to eat it, your friends will be disappointed and you’re left with a big waste of a potentially great meal. A strong whip happens when you’re aware of your teammate and working as a unit, communicating verbally and with body language so the assist is as productive as possible. A great whip also requires being in the right place to start and complete the whip. After transferring her momentum, the whipper stays up on her skates, in a strong position, ready to find her next task in the pack. The whippee gets exactly where they want, at the speed they want. Belts shortcut all those invaluable elements of whipping success. Replacing those fundamental skills – positioning, communication and control – with the use of a belt discourages skaters from moving their feet, being focused in the pack and communicating with each other. In short, belts make derby Jeebus cry. safety first I have a background in choreographing stage combat and I’ve seen far too many broken and severed fingers. Getting your
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thumb caught in a strap of armor, in someone’s costume, or, yes, someone’s belt, has ‘ER’ written all over it. I’ve been there – it’s not pretty. Derby is dangerous enough. Fingers, hands and wrists are fragile and precious. Getting them caught in a belt at high speeds while the ‘bad guys’ are throwing themselves at you is a risk you don’t need to take. A sturdy teammate booty is a much more stable and effective bedrock for a jammer to use than a belt – a belt which is usually way off that blocker’s center of gravity to begin with. One dictum that I’ve taken with me from the stage and onto the track is that the “victim” (aka the person being pulled, pushed, thrown or tossed) should always be the one in control. If the whipper is in control, they are going to give you a much more effective assist than a whipper whom you claw at and spin around as you sling yourself past. Most derby girls have plenty of booty available as a stable platform – it’s a better launching pad for a good assist than a flimsy strap that may well rip off your digits. You might ask, “Snap! I see people take whips off of uniforms all the time – isn’t that the same thing?” No my darlings, it is not. A uniform or a thong or a skirt is not a studded leather belt – it’s not going to break off a finger. Spandex gives – leather or nylon doesn’t. lazy training Belts are a huge training crutch. Reaching and grabbing for belts to pull
you through the pack is a shortcut for moving your feet and being in control. Everything in derby comes from your feet, and executing a whip, block or any other move requires your feet to be in the right place. At practice, take every opportunity to work on getting your feet and hips where they need to be so that you never have to desperately reach for a belt like it’s the last beer in the fridge at the party. Your spring-loaded legs and quick feet should be your primary weapons as you bob and weave through a pack. Using a belt to claw your way through a pack will not make you a better skater – it’ll have you leaning forward, off-balance, clutching for solutions. As you claw forward to grab a belt, what happens if you miss? Your feet have stopped moving, and now you’re off-balance – a dead duck. To paraphrase Glinda the Good Witch, the solutions to your problems were on your feet the whole time. Some captains and coaches require their skaters to wear “whipping belts” to help jammers through the pack. Please take responsibility for your training and don’t use this ‘belt’ shortcut. Instead of practicing spinning your hapless teammates around and tossing them to the ground, focus on training tools that will give you the control, strength, speed and power needed to play at top levels. communication The biggest part of giving and getting assists is the mutual teamwork and
Joe Schwartz / JoeRollerfan.com
awareness required. Jamming is not about desperately grabbing your way through the pack – it’s about working within a cohesive unit to make things happen. Derby isn’t just about slamming and smashing. It’s about control, positioning and teamwork. When a jammer suddenly grabs an unsuspecting teammate’s belt, it’s a pretty safe bet that that blocker is going to fall, possibly tripping their jammer and some other teammates on the way down. Belts discourage the
constant talking and awareness required in a pack. Jammers who train with beltwearers can learn to think: “Why tell her I’m coming when I can just grab her belt?” Or, a belt-wearing blocker can say “I have a belt on – if she needs my help, she’ll just grab for it.” The zen-like, hive-minded pack doesn’t go desperately pawing and scratching at each other. Players in strong packs talk, they warn, they ask for what they need and eventually they develop ‘derby ESP’ with their
teammates. These skills win bouts. Don’t rob yourself of any opportunity on the track to talk and touch and communicate with your teammates. If you don’t talk to each other in practice, you won’t know each other’s vocabulary in a game when it counts. You won’t win the bout and you probably won’t even win the after party. After all, it’s hard to grasp enough tallboys to win when you left your thumb and forefinger in your teammate’s belt.
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