THE OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF THE WOMEN’S FLAT TRACK DERBY ASSOCIATION (WFTDA) ISSUE 13, FALL 2011
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fiveonfive contents 34-35
4-5 advice
ask ms d’fiant and suzy hotrod!
WFTDA Each year over Memorial Day Weekend, WFTDA representatives from leagues across the country, and even the world, come together for the annual meeting. Lois Slain gives us an inside look at this year's meeting.
6-9 business press releases try this at home
10-16 health and fitness who needs a doctor? exercise induced bronchospasm (EIB) derby specific training
44-46
18-29 games and coaching
tiny team, big aspirations
region playoffs preview intraleague bouting
The Port Authorities of Maine struggle through an ever-diminishing roster with determination and positivity. Punchy O' Guts tells us how.
28-33 gear 38-39 junior derby 18 or 21?
Scott Lovejoy
45 degree kingpins when will I find my glass slipper?
50-51 RollerCon recap
40-43 rookie american history and the art of roller derby dos and don’ts of stripes
52-53 international derby 56-62 art and media 63 classifieds 68 horoscopes
The world’s largest roller derby convention in the world tops even itself this year, cramming all of the fun under one roof. Find out what organizers learned and what you can expect next year.
games and coaching
2011 region playoffs preview J U S T I C E F E E L G O O D M A R S H A L L , D E R B Y N E W S N E T WO R K
This September, the fourth WFTDA regional tournament cycle kicks off in Baltimore, MD, starting four weekends of consecutive tournament action that will determine the 12 teams that qualify for November's WFTDA championships in Denver, CO. As in 2009 and 2010, ten teams from each region participate in their respective tournaments and the top three from each region advance. East September 16-18, Baltimore, MD 1 Gotham 2 Philly 3 Charm City 4 Steel City 5 Montreal 6 Boston 7 Carolina 8 Dutchland 9 Maine 10 London With the exception of Boston having a bumpy year that’s dropped them from #3 going into last year’s tournament to #6 going into this one, the ordering of the Eastern top seven is identical to last year’s. That said, though, the balance of power seems to have dramatically tightened among those top seven, and things are noticeably changed in the bottom. Dutchland looks like a much bigger threat at #8 than they did as an eventually winless #9 seed last year, and Maine and London make WFTDA tourney debuts at #9 and #10, respectively. It’ll be #7 Carolina giving London their first taste of stateside WFTDA sanctioned play in the opening round, along with Dutchland and Maine going at it in the other one. The higher seeds are definitely favored in both these matches, but upsets seem possible in both. An upset doesn’t seem very possible for the winner of Dutchland / Maine – their reward is a date with a Gotham team that’s been crushing top-ten competition left and right. The winner of Carolina / London, though, has an uphill battle but could conceivably stun #2 Philly, whose results have been all over the map this year.
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Quarterfinals will see #3 Charm City taking on #6 Boston; traditionally, this regional rivalry has always been very close, but this year, Charm City seems to have the upper hand. The other quarterfinal between #4 Steel City and #5 Montreal should be quite closely contested, as Steel City won a close 144-121 bout in London in April. The final four will have Gotham facing either Steel City or Montreal – with Gotham having pounded each team by over 200 points each earlier this year, it seems a near certainty that Steel or Montreal ends up in the third-place game. The other one is much harder to call, though – with Philly, Carolina or London facing (probably) Charm City. Charm and Philly played to an eight point Philly win earlier this year. If Philly has an off weekend, this tournament could produce a third-place finisher that almost nobody would have predicted at the beginning of the season. West September 23-25, Portland, OR 1 Oly 2 Rocky Mountain 3 Denver 4 Rose City 5 Bay Area 6 Rat City 7 Sacred City 8 Jet City 9 Tucson 10 Angel City Although the top four spots in the West have shuffled a bit over the course of the last year, the ordering is now exactly the same as it was going into the 2010 tournament: Oly, Rocky Mountain, Denver and Rose City. The five spot has
Ziv Kruger, SoundCounsel@yahoo.com
Jules Doyle Steve Stearns, visual-meme.com
Jeff Sevier
Holly E. Clark
flipped between current #5 Bay Area and current #6 Rat City. #7 through #10 seeds have it the worst of any region here, as to advance past their opening game they’ll have to beat either 2010 WFTDA champs Rocky Mountain or 2010 runners-up Oly. The #4 vs. #5 quarterfinal matchup looks set to be a corker as Rose City faces one of their most tenacious rivals in Bay Area. For the last couple of years, Rose City has built a reputation as the best WFTDA team to never actually make it to the championship tournament, getting knocked out one game short by BAD in both 2008 and 2010, along with a first game knockout by Rocky Mountain in 2009. With Rose
City on their home turf and Bay Area certain to bring a boisterous fan section, this one is likely to be a highly emotional match that leaves one team sorely disappointed. The other quarterfinal between #3 Denver and #6 Rat City favors Denver on paper, but Rat City did drop a stunner of a narrow upset on Denver in the consolation rounds of the 2010 Westerns, so it’s highly unlikely that Denver will look past them. That all sets up a final four that looks to be Oly vs. the winner of Rose City / Bay Area and Rocky Mountain vs. the winner of Denver / Rat City.
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feature the team. We were on our way to greatness! Then our two best jammers retired after ECDX ’10. I was the only original member of the team left and Itsy Bitsy Fighter, who joined the Port Authorities late in 2008, was the only one with more than a season of bouting at the all-star level. Three of our teammates played in only a fistful of sanctioned bouts and the other three had just skated the wobbles out of their stride. I felt grim about the 2011 season. The whole dynamic of the team changed and the skill level dropped significantly. Fighter and I could not build on the team’s progress in the last season. The momentum of our individual training halted with the need to spend team practices grooming new teammates. Because the team’s performance was questionable, we had no clue how to schedule the season. Do we play only new or lower-skilled
with. We’ve played more bouts than ever, and the experience has helped the team improve like never before. We’ve moved up in ranking, from 11 to 9, and were recognized in DNN’s power rankings – momentous accomplishments for us. And Regionals. We are finally competing! Preparation is bittersweet, as the team, once again, feels the heartbreak of losing three of our best skaters. Polly and Ambush were upfront about their time with us, so we knew they were moving away in July. Lois Blow’s retirement, though suddenly announced, wasn’t surprising. She was burnt out from the Scott Lovejoy heavy schedule. The departure of these three skaters pangs old wounds. Teammates have an intensely intimate relationship. Losing that – and losing it repeatedly – never gets easier. I question if it’s worth all this one-stepforward-two-steps-back, but, after almost five years of playing derby, I finally understand how we, a tiny team - Andrew Carnegie
Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.
teams? Which opponents would be a good challenge and which would be a blowout? For the first time, my enthusiasm for the sport dwindled. It felt like my derby career would be a revolving door of teammates with my individual skills progressing at a sluggish pace, and the Port Authorities viewed as an inconsistency of the East. Was it worth it? Fuck, yes. It’s a disappointing realization that my individual, and the team’s, progress depends on how many skaters we have and how healthy they are, but it doesn’t make me love roller derby any less. The Port Authorities might be riding the short bus, but we can surprise you, too. And good things happen when you need it most. Along came Polly Gone and Barbara Ambush, transfers from Gotham. I’m sure any team would be ecstatic to receive them, but we couldn’t have needed their skill and experience more. Fighter and I were rebuilding the team for the 2011 season and we were given two big building blocks of roller derby awesomeness. The 2011 season has easily been the most rewarding of my career. This collection of Port Authorities have been the most competitive, dedicated athletes I’ve ever had the honor of playing
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from Maine, can remain competitive with the odds stacked against us. It’s simple, really. We must apply all those hard lessons learned as a fresh meat skater: • Never give up • Don’t let your emotions overtake your game • Stay positive and optimistic • Visualize great things • Continue to make goals and strive to complete them • Never stop learning • Be realistic about your skill level • Have patience. If you wait a second, a hole might open up • Trust your teammates As a captain of this undersized, evolving team, I’ve found that patience, positivity, and sometimes a little luck keeps me lacing up the skates when it’s time to rebuild. Like any relationship worth keeping, you have to work hard through both the good and the bad. Learn from the mistakes and take pride in every small success along the way. Maybe the Port Authorities will never rank in the East’s top five, but that doesn’t mean we won’t stop trying.