fiveonfive | issue 12 | Summer 2011

THE OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF THE WOMEN’S FLAT TRACK DERBY ASSOCIATION (WFTDA) ISSUE 12, SUMMER 2011

fiveonfivemag.com

fiveonfive contents 36-37

4-5 advice

ask ms d’fiant and suzy hotrod!

WFTDA Check out what’s in store for a new beta test for the WFTDA rule set that embraces a ‘no minor penalties’ mentality.

6-9 business 10-17 health and fitness the mental recovery stretching rocker and balance boards tips for vegan skaters

Nicolas Charest for RollerGirl.ca

legal safety gear transgender policies

44-45 Returning after Pregnancy

20-27 games and coaching

Shamrock N. Roller shares her experience and talks to other seasoned skaters who returned to the track after the infamous nine-month injury.

28-31 gear bearings leather vs. vinyl

38-39 junior derby

Liz Fransee, ragademalion.com

rinxter stats program pivot line strategies

48-49

rocky mountain rollerpunks

The Blonde Bomber (Joanie Weston)

40-43 rookie

A tribute to and inside look at roller derby legend Joan Weston.

52-53 international derby 56-62 art and media 63 classifieds 68 horoscopes

A.J. Epstein

and then there were five roller derby is jazz

editor miss jane redrum fort wayne derby girls copy editor vera n. sayne rocky mountain rollergirls content manager annsanity rocky mountain rollergirls art director assaultin’ pepa rocky mountain rollergirls contributing writers ms d’fiant angel city derby girls suzy hotrod gotham girls roller derby

from the editor Welcome to the 12th issue of fiveonfive magazine, the official magazine of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA)!

Recently, a reporter interviewed me from our local NPR affiliate. He wanted to know everything about derby. I was faced with a daunting task indeed. How could

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I convey the derby culture and relay the details of our sport’s history in two one-

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hour interview sessions? After reviewing the features in this issue, the answer

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was clear: hand him a copy of fiveonfive magazine. Because those actively contributing to and growing the modern sport of roller derby submit the content, we are able to offer a special inside glimpse to the culture and evolution of this

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movement. From the “Roller Derby is Jazz” article to an inside look at coaching

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junior derby to the response article to our previous men’s roller derby feature,

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what lies within these pages is roller derby.

Thank you to our writers and our readers for helping to make this adventure possible. We could not do what we do without you and we are humbled by your

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dedication to the sport. I’d like to extend a special welcome to Ms. D’Fiant of the

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Angel City Derby Girls and current Games Officer for the WFTDA. She is our new

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“Dear Blocker” writer and I think you will discover that her advice is not only spot on, but full of humor and humility, as well.

Also in this issue, check out the WFTDA Transgender policy article on page 8 to

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see how the organization has dedicated itself to embracing an environment of

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inclusiveness. The health and fitness section on pages 10-17 includes articles

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about preparing to return to the track mentally after an injury, benefits and risks associated with stretching, and balance board exercises.

In the last issue, we featured a controversial article entitled “Merby,” which

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attributed an unconfirmed quote to a Texas Rollergirl. We apologize for publishing

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a quote that cannot be verified.

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As always, if you have an idea for an article, please don’t hesitate to contact us

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at content@fiveonfivemag.com. We rely on you to tell us what is important and what should be shared.

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Miss Jane Redrum Fort Wayne Derby Girls Fort Wayne, IN editor@fiveonfivemag.com

contributors

Many thanks to our contributors who come from all over the roller derby community and share their knowledge based on their countless hours of dedication to this sport!

Check out additional contributors at fiveonfivemag.com.

Shamrock N. Roller Shamrock N. Roller’s love for eight wheels started at a young age, competing in artistic roller skating.

After many years off skates, she found the addiction known as roller derby in 2007 and became a founding member of the Santa Cruz Derby Girls. She is a mother of two awesome kids, who lovingly take on their role as derby orphans as they cheer her on from the stands, along with her derby widow.

Ms. D’Fiant

Rachel Rotten

Heather “Ms. D’fiant” Watson started skating in 2005 as the founder and president of Savannah Derby Devils. Moving to L.A. a year later, she has skated for Angel City’s Hollywood Scarlets ever since. In 2010, Heather took a quick break from competing to have a baby, but returned to practice three weeks later.

In addition to skating and leadership with ACDG, Heather has served as the WFTDA Stats and Rankings Chair. She is currently the WFTDA Games Officer.

Belle Air Bomber Belle Air Bomber recently joined the ranks of Boston Derby Dames. An editor by day for a weekly alt newspaper, Belle is a mother of four and has dragged them to all sorts of derby related events since she was hooked on the sport over two years ago. Following the mantra of her team, “No Nuts, No Glory,” she aims to live her life to the fullest every day she’s able.

Clumbsarina Tami Niswander Friborg AKA Clumbsarina is a skater and board member of the Babe City Rollers in Bemidji, Minnesota, where she lives with her four year old son. She owns and operates a game store in Bemidji, Accidentally Cool Games, and spends much of her nonskating time there.

Bitches Bruze Evil Camiville Evil Camiville joined the newly formed Palm Beach Rollergirls in January of 2010 where she currently serves as President and Training Coordinator. Evil is a trial attorney by day and enjoys teaching beach boot camps when she isn’t in court or on the track.

Bitches Bruze started skating back when disco sneaker skates were all the rage and stepped onto the derby track in 2007. A founding member of the Hellions of Troy (Troy, NY) and the Burlington Bombers (Burlington, VT), she currently skates and coaches for Pioneer Valley Roller Derby (Northampton, MA) and has recently started traveling to coach clinics on track strategies.

When she’s not skating, she’s usually out in the woods, taking down trees and milling timbers on her saw mill, or teaching computer applications and animations at the Community College of Vermont.

Check out her strategy videos on YouTube.com/BitchesBruze for more training.

advice

Suzy Hotrod

Ms D’Fiant

Gotham Girls Roller Derby New York, NY

Angel City Derby Girls Los Angeles, CA

DEAR BLOCKER AND JAMMER, I get extremely nervous before every bout, actually every scrimmage. I get serious butterflies, sick to my stomach and shaky knees. What pre-bout rituals help you calm down?

-NERVOUS NELLIE

DEAR NERVOUS NELLIE, Not a single person in the stands cares about your nerves. Does that sound mean? I like to think about what it’s like to be a spectator. I’ve been one before, it’s easy: just out to enjoy some roller derby, cheer, eat popcorn and drink beer. To the audience, you come out and skate. Hoooo-ray. And skate you will! You will never NOT skate just ‘cause you’re nervous. Who are you in the grand scheme of things? This is an old story I’ve told a million times, but I told my team, “Joan Jett is on an airplane somewhere and doesn’t give a shit about you. You are insignificant.” Harsh? I dunno, it works for me.

Everyone deals with everything differently. When something hits me, my instinct is swing back at it. Someone else could get punched in the face and calmly turn around and say, “I’m sorry, let’s talk about it. You must be having a hard day.” So not sure my way will work for you. But here it goes.

Sure I get nervous when I’m sitting alone in my apartment thinking about the game constantly. So I don’t sit alone in my damn apartment thinking about the game all damn day. Of course I think about the game in the back of my brain. But when its time to play, I’m so ready. I practice roller derby more than anything in this world. When I get to the bout, any nerves I had turn to fire. Fans give me fire. Pressure lights me up. Once my skates are on my feet and I’m with my team and I see my crowd, I am on fire. Everything is happening just like I practiced. It’s all the same.

I am mentally sharp because I “win” practice four days a week. I am ready.

Ok, I’ve got my mental quirks. I do everything possible to be a textbook athlete so I can never blame anything going wrong on stupid stuff. My responsibility as a teammate is to prepare the most game-ready me I can for the team. The entire game week I always eat 100% totally healthy.

I sleep eight hours a night. I don’t change my gear up in any way. I don’t take any weird supplements. I don’t drink alcohol. I clean my apartment.

I always eat the same breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks on game day.

I have my game specific socks, underwear, athletic grade stretch pants, all clean and ready to go. I clean my wheels the same way before I leave home. I pack the same snacks, bandanas, and plastic water bottles.

I never arrive late. I warm up the same way off skates. I warm up the same way on skates. Every. Single. Time.

It’s all so familiar. Familiar is comforting. Routine is mindless.

Mindlessness allows instinct to run the show. The mind makes us nervous. The heart makes us move. Play with your heart and your instinct. In roller derby, the weak allow their mind to win. You must become mindless and instinctual. Whoa... how zen of me?

Be the ball Danny.

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DEAR NERVOUS NELLIE, We have all been there! Nerves affect every athlete. The good news is eventually you will not be nervous before scrimmages. As you gain confidence, scrimmage will feel like every other practice. The bad news is you will be nervous on bout day for a long time to come; maybe the rest of your derby career for important games.

The pre-bout ritual is something I’ve thought about a lot since becoming a parent. Like every other moment of my life before the miracle of birth, I wonder exactly what did I do with all that time? Now my pre-bout mornings are much like every other: wake up entirely too early and try to stop my one-year-old from seriously injuring himself on common household objects. When I think back to that sleep-gilded pre-parenthood era, I come to the same conclusion about game days as the rest of my previous 30 some-odd years – I’m pretty sure I was luxuriously sleeping in.

These days I may be a little more tired, but otherwise I think my ritual is pretty standard.

Of course, I avoid alcohol and hydrate like crazy the week prior to a game. The morning of the game, I keep the shower short and lukewarmish. It’s not good to have an extended time in hot water because it can relax your muscles too much. When preparing to skate you want your muscles to be tight, which allows for quick explosive energy.

The biggest mistake I hear skaters make is failing to eat properly on game day. It’s easy to neglect food because the nerves mask your hunger. Eat a solid breakfast, many skaters swear by oatmeal. Personally, I like eggs and a slow carbohydrate (like lentils) that will sustain me the entire day. I also pack an energy bar and some fruit for directly after the game. When I go to tournaments, I bring a lunch bag stuffed with energy bars, rice cakes and fruit, because you cannot trust venue food, but you can trust that you will be hungry.

If there’s time before the game, try reading or watching a favorite movie. Sometimes it’s good to be distracted to avoid over-thinking or psyching yourself out. There’s going to be plenty of intensity for the rest of your day, take it easy before entering the venue.

Or if you’re at the venue and need to relax, try playing a silly game. At a recent tournament before our last game our team really didn’t need to warm up or practice any more. Instead, we had our friends on the sidelines yell animals and the team tried to mimic what a turtle would look like on skates, or an ant-eater. Everyone got to laugh and relax a little.

My one ritual I’ve had for years is to eat sushi on game day. Sushi is a good combination of protein and starch (go for brown rice if you can). And it’s not likely to repeat on you later when the stomach juices get flowing. Granted, it works best for home games where I know my sources, but it isn’t a big deal if I skip it on away games.

One thing I will say, try to avoid getting wrapped up in any rituals that tie you down to anything specific. Becoming tied to objects or superstitions is silly. A philosopher once said “luck is what happens when hard work meets opportunity.” The same can be said for a great game. An unlucky game is not the result of a forgetting the game day fanny-pack or your Super Friends underoos.

DEAR BLOCKER AND JAMMER, There are athletes on my team who swear by the hockey stop and have us practice it frequently. There are some skaters who tomahawk stop almost every time. Others swear by the strength of the plow stop. Then there’s the T-stop, the toe stop, and just plain falling down or taking a knee. What do you find is the most effective stop?

-STUMPED STOPPER

Preflash Gordon

DEAR STUMPED STOPPER, Hockey stops, tomahawks, and plow stops are all the same shit. It’s all about using your edges and digging to modulate speed. Use the “grind” alongside your hip placements to get the job done. Here are some jobs!

As a blocker, too much hip turning and flipping around can result in holes opening up when you’re on the track if your target is coming up from a bit of distance behind you.

You want to maintain facing forward hips, tracking their stomach with your rear end.

I use constant plow stop motions outta both my feet independently to the point where I have developed and even strained the muscles deep, deep in my bum. (Insert inappropriate “That’s what she said!” comment if you choose.) Speed modulation controls the pack, the other blockers, and the jammers. It’s all about taking away others’ speed if you’re a blocker. Defensively taking away speed takes away space; takes away options. Doing this correctly appears to the naked eye as a strange drunken pirate swagger with a healthy distance between your legs to spring from, a really low ass, and a lateral shuffle with two legs moving independently of one another in a dig dig dig dig dig alternating foot motion.

Sounds strange, looks strange, and is strangely effective. As a blocker, once you’ve got a jammer in your ass beam tractor, it’s constant nimble footwork and constant shaving away of speed with your edges till you can punch her in the stomach with your ass.

Yes ass punch exists, and it’s just as painful as a fist, yet delightfully unexpected!

Then there are the times when you do want to flip your hips when you’re using your ass first to attack someone off the track out of bounds and slam on the quick hip flippin’ turnaround toe stop. The turnaround toe stop directs my hips back on the track and in turn my body will not fly off the track. Isn’t science lovely? Whatever you do, make sure it’s quick enough to not find yourself still trying to stop while the jammer has already jumped back on the track again.

As a jammer, you need to do whatever it takes to stay out of the box and keep moving forward scoring points. You’re sprinting at full speed and suddenly you’re approaching a major road block. This sounds totally obvious, but you can’t keep going forward as is!

So why do I see so many jammers roll straight in to blockers anyway??? You could plow, hockey stop, turnaround toe stop, or maybe juke your way around continuing at full speed using edges. But you had to do SOMETHING or you just scored a major back block. For juking and jumping, I’m putting constant resistance on my edges one at a time in that “super fast plow stop” vibe to get to where I need to go. In tight, insanely slow moving packs, especially power plays where I’m the only jammer out there, I use toe stops like crazy, both to move me laterally and forward. I use a million teeny little toe stops, or I also could use my toe stop as a back propeller as I skateboard foot my other side through on one foot. Sometimes I turnaround toe stop and hit everything with my butt first.

It all happens. You need to be able to use it all.

And ya know what, I don’t even think I know what the hell a tomahawk is... do I? It’s like a fancier hockey stop with like, your two feet facing somewhere... something... uh... Ya know, I just know to use your edges to control yourself. Use your hips to go where you want to go. Learn how to stop these machines called roller skates. If you’re a jammer, don’t run into stuff. If you’re a blocker, run into stuff. And do it with speed control. CARRY ON!!

DEAR STUMPED STOPPER, There is a time and a place for all kinds of stopping. Let’s equate this to another rollergirl favorite past time, drinking! There’s no one drink that suits every occasion.

If it’s after practice, nothing tastes as good as a cold, hearty beer. It’s refreshing, filling, and I once read an article that says one beer helps rehydrate athletes. That’s science! (Of course, they failed to mention anything about the rest of the six-pack you finished.) Other times, you’re at a classy dinner with your significant other and a nice, mature glass of wine is in order. Sometimes after a close game (win or lose) you’re hitting the shots. This analogy isn’t to illustrate drinking 101, but exemplify the age old adage – there’s a time and a place for everything.

Regarding the question at hand, in my derby experience, I have found myself using all the stops you mention. Were they the absolute most effective stop in the scenario? Possibly not, but every athlete is an individual. There is no formula that is 100% for every skater.

Though it makes my captain cringe, I still T-stop with some regularity. T-stops work for me when I’m on the inside line with a tight three person wall. Obviously, my defense is so solid, we’re slowing down the opposing jammer and in this scenario it wouldn’t be prudent for me to spread my legs wide and plow stop. That just might gum up the works and if you’re not quick to react a good jammer could jump your leg and the apex. This controlled stop on the inside is advantageous to keep position when you’re protected by a teammate. If not protected, you may be opening yourself up to a less defensible position should an opposing blocker decide she’d like your spot.

Most often, if I need to slow my speed in the pack I will plow stop. I can maintain position, fend off the enemy and adjust speed as necessary. Dropping to a knee might be a good idea in those instances when it’s necessary to take yourself out of play. Talk these over with your captain or coach to the strategic implications.

Ten times out of ten times when I have chased the jammer 20 feet out of the pack I will tomahawk stop and skate clockwise back to the pack (all the while being very careful to avoid any direction of game play violations). This is my fastest mode of transportation back to the pack and helping my team. This is different for every skater, so don’t take my word as gospel. Hockey stopping is something I only do under specific conditions, slick floor with hard wheels and a fair amount of room.

But I have seen plenty of jammers use this stop very effectively regardless of surface.

Stumped Stopper, the most important trick in your bag is not knowing how Ms. D’fiant uses her stops or knowing which stop is the most effective in every possible scenario. Learn each stop so well that they become second nature.

Roller derby has endless configurations and the pack is an ever-changing organism. Being in the pack is all about instincts, by the time you figure out what you should be doing, most likely the opportunity has passed. Train hard, learn proper technique and trust yourself that you will make the right call when the time comes.

need advice? email advice@fiveonfivemag.com fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 5

business

legal safety gear: protecting your league on and off the track E V I L C A M I V I L L E , PA L M B E A C H R O L L E R G I R L S

who Despite how much playing roller derby feels like a one-big-happy-family affair, it is only such in theory. In reality, roller derby is a sport comprised of multiple individually operated businesses that are increasing in number at a rate that none of us could have imagined even five years ago. As a result, roller derby leagues now have significantly greater responsibilities with regard to protecting members and the business entity itself.

League business concerns, such as the health and safety of the skaters and league assets, should be a matter of common sense. However, depending on the way in which your business is structured, the same may also encompass new recruits, guest/visiting skaters, junior skaters, coaches, visiting coaches, managers, referees and non-skating officials, vendors, volunteers, medical staff, photographers and videographers, media/public relations, fans and even employees of the venue in which you practice and/or hold your bouts. Therefore, in order to determine “who” you are, you must first ask yourself “what” you are from a business perspective. what Many roller derby leagues choose one of several traditional business structures like a sole proprietorship, partnership, limited liability company or corporation, all of which operate

6 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

for profit and may provide financial benefits to its owners and/or members.

There are also a number of leagues who have chosen to operate as what is , or commonly referred to as a 501(c)FN1 non-profit, which is a statutorily created tax-exempt organization. A non-profit may not be owned but is instead controlled by members or a board.

No earnings of a non-profit may benefit any individual member but instead must be expended in the maintenance and furtherance of the organization as a whole.

There are some significant tax and legal implications that must be examined in choosing one of the above, as well as state and/or federal applications that must be submitted.

You should seek the professional advice and assistance of an attorney and/or accountant in determining the most appropriate business structure for your league and in completing all necessary paperwork and related filings. You may also need professional guidance in determining the insurance needs of your business, which may include Directors and Officers, Errors and Omissions and/or General Liability insurance.

Lastly, you must determine any city, county and state business licensing requirements. where As you begin to carry out the business of your league, you will often be asked for

a business address. This is not an easy question for a new or growing league to answer. Growing pains are a fact of derby life. Officers and directors change as frequently as venues for practices and bouts. Any league, particularly a new league, may wish to consider a post office box for regular mail or a registered agent for statutory filings.

The true “where” at issue is your practice or bout venue(s). In choosing a venue, primary considerations are generally safety, cost and availability.

However, some issues of importance that are oft forgotten include the following: 1) Restrictions on use – this may include noise ordinances, the admission of minors, and distribution of alcohol or other concessions, as well as your ability to profit from the same; 2) Exclusivity – whether or not the venue is available to other local or competing roller derby leagues, which could potentially inhibit the growth of a new league; 3) Services offered/provided – whether or not the venue provides consistent and reliable cleaning services, has concessions readily available, or any other needs you deem important to furthering the goals of your league; 4) Sponsorship/promotional opportunities – a supportive and enthusiastic venue offering Internet, banner and other advertising and promotional opportunities may prove to be a very economical option in the

long run; and 5) Insurance coverage – you must determine the type(s) of coverage needed or that one already afforded by any existing policy held by the venue, as well as any insurance requirements imposed upon your league by the venue.

Most importantly, never underestimate the power of a solid business proposal or contract. While your venue of choice may not have everything you want and need on the surface, the leverage you need to get those things lies within the power and message of your league.

A carefully drafted venue proposal should outline the visibility your team can bring to the venue via advertising and media coverage and the message of female athleticism and empowerment that will be associated with the venue.

Not to mention, the venue will soon be swarming with derby girls!

After your venue has fallen headover-heels in love with the women of derby and their mission, memorialize it. Just because roller derby has a grassroots background, does not mean you have to seal a deal with a handshake. You need a signed commitment carefully detailing the terms of your agreement. Otherwise, you have no recourse if and when your regularly scheduled practice times are suddenly deemed unavailable or the services included cease to be available.

Not to mention, you could incur great expense if forced to transfer or purchase an additional insurance policy for a new venue.

when The best time to implement all of the above is prior to, or immediately upon, forming the league. The sooner you address all of the legal and business issues of roller derby, the sooner you can send someone flying into your fans (testing the effectiveness of your insurance policy)! In addition to creating a safe and sound business structure that is compliant with all relevant federal, state and local laws, you need to be aware of the power and necessity of the Release.

Releases take on many forms, all having different intentions and limitations. Some that are common to roller derby leagues address the inherent risks incurred by recruits, guest/visiting skaters, minor/adult skaters, skating and non-skating officials, volunteers, vendors, photographers/videographers and fans. While most leagues include a medical release within a membership application packet, not all include a photo/video release, wherein members consent to the usage of any photos/videos taken during league related activities. Furthermore, all too many leagues fail to have new recruits and visiting skaters execute the same.

In determining what type of releases may be necessary to protect your league, you need to examine the risks inherent in the sport, as well as any that may be specific to the way in which you are conducting your business or the location of the same. For example, many leagues offer “in your lap” seating, and require those ever-adoring fans

to execute a release acknowledging the risks associated with the same.

My league requires all visiting photographers and videographers to execute a release of liability, as well as a consent to our usage of all photos and videos taken, and an agreement to provide them to us within a specified amount of time (the latter has kept our Historian extremely busy). summary This article is in no way intended to serve as legal advice, but instead is meant to raise awareness of some of the many legal issues your league may encounter as our sport continues to grow and prosper. The women of roller derby are known for their forwardthinking and aggressive nature on the track and should operate our leagues in the same manner. Apply the lessons you have learned from the track: 1) Don’t leave holes open by failing to appropriately structure your business and insure your league; 2) When you foresee an impediment to the future goals of your league approaching around the outside corner, throw a full-body hit via release before it scores the first point and 3) If you happen upon a great wall of blockers that just won’t budge, hit them with a proposal that they can’t turn down and get a contract signed as you speed past them. The women of roller derby have no excuse for failing to intelligently protect and promote what those before us have worked so hard to build.

FN1 United States Internal Revenue Code, 26 U.S.C. § 501(c)

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business

transgender policies T R I P P J C R O U S E , Q UA D - C I T Y R O L L E R S

In April 2011, WFTDA league members voted to adopt a policy and common definition of female, which includes female transgender athletes.

In development since 2008, the policy will go into effect January 1, 2012.

“WFTDA is delighted to be one of the many women’s sports organizations working to specifically include transgender athletes in the last few years,” said Juliana “Bloody Mary” Gonzales, WFTDA executive director. “Our goal in establishing a policy is to further standardize our sport and to eliminate an already uncomfortable ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ environment that exists for these athletes.”

“We feel that as an organization that is entirely devoted to promoting and fostering women’s flat track roller derby, it’s our responsibility to define what ‘women’ means to our members in this context,” she said.

The policy determines and governs the definition of female in relation to purposes of WFTDA-sanctioned competition, and states that “a female is someone ‘living as a woman and having sex hormones that are within the medically acceptable range for a female,’ to include male-to-female transgender and intersex persons,” according to the group’s website at wftda.com.

The policy only applies to players on 20-skater WFTDA charter teams that compete for rankings and tournament eligibility. WFTDA’s gender policy is one in which the association will not actively investigate players nor does it require proof of eligibility, but estabilished guidelines for teams and will review a skater’s status if necessary.

WFTDA mandates that the review process be done in a way that protects a skater’s privacy and relies on the medical expertise of her own health care provider.

“WFTDA hopes that by clearly communicating some expectations and guidelines, individuals and members are better able to self-assess and define whether there is a concern about skaters’ eligibility. We do not expect a flood of complaints or inquiries about the eligibility status of individual athletes,” Gonzales said. “Should we receive inquiries, they will be confidentially reviewed and triaged by our existing compliance processes.”

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Roller derby is often considered an inclusive sport, welcoming participants from all walks of life. Some transgender skaters have drawn a line in the sand by participating in a sport that until recently, had no definite policy on what constitutes “female” or “woman.” With an increase in trans skaters who identify as female, these women encounter physical and social hurdles even within roller derby. A lucky few have found a home with a league accepting of their gender status. Individual leagues have implemented their own policies defining gender and laying down the groundwork for future interested trans skaters. A few leagues already roster transgender skaters.

Many consider The Outfit, a Chicago-based roller derby league in the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, as a league with one of the sport’s more progressive attitudes toward personal lifestyles. Its rosters include straight, gay, lesbian and bisexual players. Bethany “Meg Gyver” Johnson, marketing manager for The Outfit, said that her league created a policy to include transgender skaters.

“From what I’ve heard, The Chicago Outfit had always been open to the idea of transgendered skaters but hadn’t felt any dire need to create an official policy,” said Johnson, who started skating with the team in 2010. “The issue had never come up in any applicable real-world situation, so the drive to create a policy was tabled for more pressing matters.”

Most flat track roller derby leagues play under rules developed by Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) and it has several policies on eligibility for leagues and skater membership. And while WFTDA does restrict charter teams to including only female skaters, the association doesn’t have a policy defining gender. “So, member leagues are able to define and attest to the eligibility of their athletes on their own league-level terms,” said Juliana “Bloody Mary” Gonzales on behalf of WFTDA. Like The Outfit, other teams have written their own policies in regards to trans skaters. Johnson says teams should consider the transgender skater’s privacy when developing a policy and general treatment by the league. “A lot of skaters will never want to be open about their trans status,” she said. “I hope that the WFTDA builds their policies in such a way that skaters are able to feel safe when presenting any documentation regarding their gender status.”

Joe R

Joe Rollerfan

Joe Mac

“I live in a very liberal bubble in Chicago, and it is definitely reflected by the people I know both in my normal everyday life and my roller derby life,” Johnson said. “Not every place is like that, but I think that more and more places are becoming welcoming of trans skaters.”

The Chicago Outfit recently approved a policy officially allowing transgendered skaters in the league.

“People within The Chicago Outfit have been really supportive and understanding about the issue,” Johnson said. “We created a policy that I believe to be extremely fair and will hopefully foster an inclusive atmosphere to other trans athletes.”

Montreal Roller Derby, based in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, has proposed its own policies, and several other teams are discussing requirements for eligibility.

Melanie “Nameless Whorror” Pasztor helped co-write Montreal’s gender policy, with some first-hand experience: Pasztor is one of two transgender women skating for the league. Pasztor, 27, joined Montreal Roller Derby (MTLRD) in January 2008, and in May of that year, her league approached her to write a gender policy. Under MTLRD’s policy that is similar to other groups: a skater must fulfill certain criteria, including, but not limited to, legal documentation of a name change, a letter from a medical or mental health professional vouching that person in question has been living as a woman, and proof that the prospective skater’s hormone levels would not give her an unfair advantage – usually resolved through stringent hormone replacement therapy, hormone blockers or surgery to limit, reduce, or negate the effects of testosterone.

The transitional period between the socially defined gender and how one identifies oneself can be difficult. “I made the conclusion that the gender assigned to me didn’t fit or work for me around 14, soon after discovering the Internet and finding the information I was unable to find or locate previously,” Pasztor said. “When I started transition, I felt relieved and carried less weight on my shoulders, felt happier than before,

Michael Guio

became more sociable and less shy, closed up.”

Pasztor started hormones at age 19 and later changed her legal name to Melanie. At 24, she had partial surgery done to become eligible to change her legal sex to female. Pasztor played her first travel bout in September 2008 with the Montreal Sexpos, the MTLRD’s B-team. She joined MTLRD’s travel team, New Skids on the Block, in January 2010. Since she has come out as a trans skater, she feels better about herself. The “overall reaction has been acceptance and positive, as it rarely comes up and when it does, it’s almost always positive,” she said.

“Whether most know or not I do not know, as I do not worry or really think about it.”

Other teams weren’t waiting for WFTDA to make a decision, either, instead writing a policy into their teams’ charters ahead of any association action. “Our policy went into action when a transgendered person wanted to join our league as a derby skater,” said Casey “Dawn of the Shred” Gulledge, who holds the co-president and marketing board positions for Treasure Valley Rollergirls of Boise, Idaho. “We considered the ramifications of excluding certain types of people from our league, and we always strive to keep the league decisions fair and open-minded.”

Johnson is the first transgender member of The Chicago Outfit, giving her team a direct insight into the trials and tribulations of transitioning from one gender to another.

“I actually began skating with The Chicago Outfit while ‘in the closet’ in regards to my trans status, but became open about it when the league was discussing the policy that we’re currently putting up for a vote,” Johnson said. “I think my being open about my status as a transgendered woman quieted any negativity toward the subject matter, not that there was much to begin with. The Chicago Outfit is a very progressive and democratic organization, and I never felt any real fear that anyone here would ever reject me based on being trans.” fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 9

health and fitness

the mental recovery BELLE AIR BOMBER, CENTRAL MASS ROLLER DERBY

Returning from injury is more than just healing bones...

“Patient is approved for full contact.”

Those are the most wonderful words an injured derby skater

from her derby crew, with her prompt return just two months after her injury, and to bouting just over three months after the break.

But the hardest thing for Shattered wasn’t the physical healing; it was the doubts and fears that plagued her after the bone mended.

“In the weeks leading up to being back on skates, I had some major

can hear after the cast comes off, after the often-painful physical

freak-outs,” admits Shattered. “I always thought, ‘What if I suck?’

therapy is finally over, and after months of watching your

‘What if I hurt someone else because I’m not stable?’ Or ‘What if

teammates practice from the sidelines, bout and progress. Yet

I hurt something else on my body because I’m not stable enough

as you strap on your Riedells for the first time in what feels like

and I overcompensate?’”

years, doubt creeps into your mind. Your feet slip, your timing is off and your plow stops barely slow you down. And then after

According to Shattered, it took about three weeks of overpowering negative thoughts before she realized she must focus

one tiny hit, you’re on the floor with fear in your soul. It’s not

on the positives steps forward she was making. “And those three

your body that is holding your game back – it’s your mind.

weeks of being totally freaked out, crying on a daily basis, and

“Coming back from injury definitely has a mental component, as well as physical components,” says Aimee C. Kimball, Ph.D.,

second-guessing myself was probably one of the worst experiences of my derby career,” Shattered remembers. “It wasn’t the break,

director of Mental Training at UPMC Center for Sports Medicine

or the not bouting for three-and-a-half months, it was those three

in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. “Sometimes athletes are medically

weeks when I was being all negative and shitting on myself that

cleared to return but may not be mentally ready. Mental preparation

were the worst... and now I know I’ll never go back to that place

is very important to not only decrease chances of reinjury, but also

ever again.”

to enhance performance upon return.”

Shattered’s mind-over-body methods are often echoed by

visual healing

sports-medicine specialists. Dr. Kimball suggests starting with

Shelby Shattered of Boston Derby Dames, a six-year derby veteran,

simply visualizing yourself returning to the track. “If you can

suffered a broken fibula and fractured tallis and tore ligaments in

mentally picture yourself performing the way you want to, that’s

her left ankle during a practice scrimmage in March 2010. “One

a very good sign that you are close to overcoming any worries.

minute I was being a booty-blocking machine; the next minute,

However, if you’re picturing your sport and you can only visualize

I was laid out on my booty reaching for an ankle that was clearly

yourself getting reinjured, you probably have some real fears that

turned in the wrong direction,” recalls Shattered.

need to be overcome. Try to use imagery as much as possible

After seeing an orthopedic surgeon, Shattered chose to avoid

once you can ‘see’ your ideal self.”

surgery – which was suggested could lead to arthritis down the

wacky tacky

road – and decided to let her injury heal on its own. When asked

Brigitte Barhot is in her sixth season and skates with New York’s

by her surgeon how soon she wished to be back on skates,

Gotham Girls Roller Derby. Her injury was what she calls quick and

Shattered announced her wishful three-month goal. “Instead of

simple. In a blocking drill at Gotham all-stars practice, she went in

saying it was unrealistic, [my surgeon] merely replied with, ‘Well,

for a hit from the outside on the infamous Suzy Hotrod, who then

if you think you can come back that fast – let’s do what we can

countered with a hip check. As they made contact, Barhot says her

to get you there,’” she shares.

right knee “suddenly felt wacky-tacky, like pulled taffy.” That

Taking a chapter from the book “Quantum Healing” by Deepak Chopra, Shattered decided she would use visualization to get herself

“wacky-tacky” feeling was the result of a torn ACL and damage to her meniscus.

back to the track in record time. Spending one to two hours a day

When Barhot’s injuries eventually healed and she headed

visualizing her ankle healing, Shattered pictured the break mending

back to the track, she told herself it was natural to feel pain and

in between book and TV breaks. She credits this mental game,

weakness. “But with those first few strides, I sweated the idea that

combined with upper-body exercises and an outpouring of support

the knee was going to go out again, and all that pain and surgery

10 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

and physical therapy would go right down the crapper,” she recalls.

Barhot took her fears and focused on using them to her advantage, and eventually overcame them. “For a few weeks I’d get shooting pain only when I’d get hit, so I was super scared to

didn’t want to do something. By knowing the difference, my body feels a thousand times better, and I get to enjoy a break every now and again,” Danger explains.

Kimball agrees that allowing yourself to take baby steps on the

make contact with anyone or be as aggressive as I had been before.

road to recovery is a necessary self-indulgence. “If you have a lot

But I got really good at calculating and avoiding hits, which I think is

of anxiety, come back in stages – maybe just skate a bit around

a valuable skill,” admits Barhot. “I don’t think any skater will skate

the track by yourself or with teammates for fun. Then engage in

to her potential if she is afraid on the track. Fear takes the fire out

some light practice, making sure teammates know that for now

of you and renders you useless,” she says.

you are off-limits for real physical contact. Then have some real

Kimball suggests a movement away from focusing on injury or

practice to get used to being hit.” Kimball says that only when you

pain to find a new, positive method for those facing new fears. “The

feel comfortable while taking these baby steps, should you start to

fears and anxiety can exist, but you get to choose whether or not

think about returning to competition.

you focus on them. It’s not bad to be anxious,

words of wisdom

but it’s important to be able to control it. So if

In the end, Barhot says the best preparation you

you perform your best when you are focused on

can do upon your return to the track is simply

the jammer – just keep your mind focused on

not to worry. “I push negative thoughts out of

her. Remember, you control your thoughts.”

my mind before the game, and visualize doing

Barhot also kept her mental game sharply

really kick-ass things,” tells Barhot. “There’s

focused upon getting back in the game by

a little parade where everyone is holding me

taking care of herself off the track. “Staying

up singing ‘hip, hip, hooray’ in my head. I hear

healthy off the track, without giving up some

my surgeon’s cocky voice saying, ‘Don’t worry,

of my favorite vices, was mega important. Some

your knee is going to be stronger than before

of the steps that helped my mind game were:

you had surgery.’”

doing yoga and acupuncture because I forced

Shattered’s biggest lesson: have fun.

myself to meditate, eating really well, taking

“Once derby is taken away from you... you

supplements like alfalfa (for inflammation)

realize just how much you love it and how you’d

and glucosamine (for joints), being diligent

give your left tit to have it back,” she admits.

about physical-therapy exercises, and drinking

“I try to keep that in mind as much as possible

whiskey. I convinced myself this stuff was

now – reminding myself of how much I missed

healing me, and I believe it has.”

it when I couldn’t do it, and that it’s a good

danger! danger!

reminder that you need to have fun as much

Ariel Pena, arienebium.com

Grave Danger of Arch Rival Roller Girls out of

as possible because you really don’t know when it might be taken

St. Louis, Missouri, has been skating with the league since the

away again.”

fall of 2005. Danger blew out her ACL during a scrimmage while

Kimball returns to the mind-over-matter mantra. Make a mental

executing a turnaround toe-stop after hitting the jammer out of

list of all the skills and strategies that you need to play a solid game,

bounds. “It felt like a bomb went off in my leg,” says Danger. “That

and review them over and over in your head. By reviewing that list

night getting ready for bed, I felt a huge KER-CHUNK! in my leg, like

before a bout, Kimball explains, it can simplify things and remove

my femur was rotating without actually being attached to my tibia.”

the added drama that comes with a fixation on the possibility of an

An MRI a few days later confirmed her worst fears: complete tear

injury or pain. “This can help to increase confidence and decrease

of the ACL. Danger had surgery this past December.

anxiety since you’re just doing the little things that you’ve always

As Danger makes her way back to full contact roller derby (she’ll be cleared for bouting in June), she still experiences some pain in

done,” Kimball says.

Danger’s leading advice is to listen to what your doctor or

her knee, but has realized that the idea of not returning as a skater

physical therapist tells you and remember to listen to your body –

“just wasn’t an option. So, as I tell my league-mates, it was time to

that means recognizing the difference between pain and injury.

put on my big-girl pants and deal with it. It became my responsibility

But most importantly, she says, “Never ever, ever, ever, ever

to distinguish when my body needed to rest or when my mind just

give up. Ever.” fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 11

health and fitness

stretching C R U I S I N ' B . A N T H O N Y, S T E E L C I T Y D E R B Y D E M O N S

Here’s a mind-blowing thought: What if we didn’t stretch before practice? Or ever? No, really, I’m serious. Would our injury rate skyrocket? Would we lose our flexibility and be tight little balls of muscle with no agility on the track?

Would muscle soreness make us miserable the next day?

The surprising answer is that probably none of those things would happen and we might get a few benefits: more strength and explosive power, maybe a little endurance boost, and maybe (just maybe) a little protection from certain joint injuries. There are a few reasons this idea isn’t mainstream yet. Stretching is tradition, in tons of sports and not just derby; and we (by which I mean everyone from athletes to coaches to the scientists who study this stuff for a living) don’t fully understand how our muscles work – what makes them perform best and how to keep them from getting injured.

One thing that’s pretty clear is this: if you measure how high you can jump, then hold your leg muscles in a couple of “static” stretches, as they’re called, for a few minutes, then do the jump test again – your second jump will be weaker.

Stretching seems to have a negative effect on both strength and explosive power.

Endurance is a fishier area, but a study on runners showed that they had worse endurance after static stretching. That may be because each step is a tiny explosive movement.

This weakening effect of stretching can last for 30 minutes or more – some studies 12 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

say a full hour – so you could be spending more than half your practice, or most of a bout, at a disadvantage. Rather than scrapping stretching, if that seems extreme, you could use it as a training tool: stretch so you can practice on weakened muscles, but skip the stretching on game day.

The trouble with interpreting the results of stretching studies (and I waded through a huge pile of them for you, dear readers) is that they’re not done on roller derby players in the context of practices or games. They’re not even usually about team sports, but more often joggers, military recruits going through boot camp, or the ever-popular isolation studies: “Stretch this one muscle; now do this one test; OK, you’re done, go home.” This means we have to be cautious about applying the findings to real life. Consider this your warning label: stretch, or don’t stretch, at your own risk. Use the info in this article to inform your decision, but don’t prohibit your team from stretching and tell them Cruisin’ made you do it!

It’s also important to remember that stretching together is a great team bonding opportunity and can be a relaxing part of a game day ritual. The mental benefits may outweigh some of the downsides. does stretching prevent injury?

We’ve probably all heard it thousands of times from coaches, P. E. teachers, and fitness magazines: stretch before your workout to prevent injury. If repeating something made it true, you’d expect to see study after study finding strong evidence that the more athletes stretch, the fewer injuries they have. And yet, that evidence just isn’t there. One recent study

advised joggers to stretch at the beginning of every run, and told another group to run as usual but to skip the stretching. They found zero difference in injury rate between the two groups. You’d think that would settle the question, but the study also found this: runners who usually stretched, but were put into the nonstretching group for the study, were the only people whose injury rate went up during the study. (Runners who weren’t used to stretching did fine in either group.)

Does this mean that stretching sets you up for injury if you ever quit? Or that the stretchers had just figured out what works for their body and that’s different for everyone? We don’t know, and that’s frustrating to say (and read) no matter how you phrase it and usually “More research is needed.” Stretching has become a hot topic lately in certain circles of scientists and nerdy jock types, so keep an ear out for new findings.

Even if stretching doesn’t prevent injury, could flexibility prevent injury? They’re different things. Stretching is something you do. If I watch you try to touch your toes, I know you’ve stretched. But flexibility is a trait you have: if I see you can do a split, I’ll say “Wow, she’s flexible.” You can work on flexibility separately from your warm up; after practice is a great time to do it, or at a different workout like a day at the gym or yoga studio.

There’s a counter-intuitive conclusion from the studies on flexibility: people who are not flexible tend to get injured more; but so do people who are very flexible. One theory is that the muscles surrounding and supporting a joint (for example, your knee) should have a little tightness to help them

do their job. Too loose, they might not be able to hold everything in place during a hard hit or a sudden movement.

Muscle soreness is also, surprisingly, not affected by stretching. Whether you stretch before the workout, afterwards, or not at all, has no effect on how sore you’ll be the next day. Once you’re already sore, stretching won’t heal you up faster, but it can temporarily ease the pain. So if it hurts, and stretching feels good, go for it. Your strength is already reduced because of the soreness anyway.

output. Meanwhile, your blood vessels dilate, letting more oxygen get to your muscles. And there may be an effect where your nerves and muscle fibers get to practice working together – which can be especially helpful for explosive movements like speed bursts and jumps.

if we quit stretching, what would we do instead?

It turns out that the benefits people are looking for when they stretch – flexibility, loosening up, easing into a workout – can probably come from a non-stretching warm up, or a newly popular type of exercise called dynamic stretching.

First, let’s consider what the idea of a warm up really is: In part, it’s to literally get you warm. Your muscles work best at a certain temperature, and once you’re in the middle of your workout, you’ve hit that temperature and the little Amanda Rieker/Wicked Shamrock Photography enzymes inside your muscle cells are working at their best. If that were The buzzword for warm ups is “sportthe only purpose, though, we could just sit specific movement,” which means that in a hot tub for 15 minutes before practice your warm up should be a mini version and be good to go! (Note: I will not argue of what you’ll do in your practice or game. against this idea. Ahhh, hot tub.) However, Dynamic stretching is just when you take there are a few other things going on. One that movement to an extreme – not is that the first few times you contract a stretching enough to hurt, but just to make muscle you don’t get as much power out sure you’re taking that movement as far of it. After you’ve been using the muscle for as it can comfortably go. An example for a while, it ramps up to its full power runners would be butt kicks, which

incorporate a little quad stretch into each step. For derby, a sideways lunge could stretch the straightened leg. Arm circles and foot circles fall into this category too.

The results on this one are pretty clear: dynamic stretching warms you up, gets you ready for your sport, and doesn’t sap your strength like static stretching does.

It loosens up your muscles a little, but not as much as static stretching. The funny thing is a non-stretching warm up has the same effects. Dynamic stretching is enjoying a surge in popularity now, as coaches and athletes look for a middle ground between the static stretching tradition and the extreme move of cutting out stretching entirely.

Many study authors lamented that it was hard to get athletes to heed an order not to stretch, since they’re so used to doing it, and so convinced that it’s good for them. If your team does decide to cut out or deemphasize stretching, make sure to replace it with something that has the same mental benefits, whether that’s a comforting routine, a chance to gather people together for announcements or introductions, or a change of pace that marks the end of warm up and the beginning of practice. A simple solution might be gathering as usual but allowing each skater to decide if they want to spend that time stretching or not. It’s good to know the facts, but just as important to remember to listen to your body.

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 13

health and fitness

rocker and balance boards, the next step D R . B O B K I L R OY, L . A . D E R B Y D O L L S

So, you used the rocker board to rehab, even strengthen, your ankles. Great! So you can put this thing away now? No way.

The uses for your balance board are just beginning.

Muscles need four qualities to perform to their best ability. Strength, flexibility, and endurance are three that have been the focus of training for decades. One more quality that has been mostly overlooked is now part of nearly every training program and that is proprioception. This is the ability of the muscle to work in coordination with other muscles. A simple example of this would be bending the elbow. Contract the biceps and the elbow bends; fast, slow or anything in between. Not so simple. If you look at this more closely this could not happen if the triceps did not relax in a perfectly timed and proportional amount.

A simple stride on a skate requires complex coordination of the movements of hundreds of muscles. Your body’s proprioceptive ability not only moves your body, it helps it to maintain its balance.

Roller skating by itself is moving the body on a moving unstable surface. In roller derby you not only do this, you are busy bumping and shoving, while trying to keep track of a jammer and listening to your bench. The body’s proprioceptive

14 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

sense is one of the most important skills a skater can develop.

Developing this skill is done in the same way that most skills are developed; repetition leading to mastery, raising the bar and then more repetition.

A rocker or balance board is a great low tech means of developing one’s proprioceptive skills. When we discussed ankle rehab, the basic exercises were balancing on two feet in a front to back motion on the board and then in a sideto-side motion. From there you went on to doing the same exercises on one foot.

Where you take the training from here can be both practical and creative, since exercises up until this point have been relatively static, i.e. attempting to maintain your balance while simply standing. The next step is to add challenges while you balance. I break them down into three initial categories; one where you perform an exercise while concentrating to maintain your balance. One example of this would be performing squats on the board or placing your hands on or grabbing the board while you do push ups. The second

is

where you concentrate on an activity that distracts you from focusing on your balance, forcing balance to become more instinctual. Exercises along these lines would include throwing and catching a ball while balancing on a board or hitting a ball with a racquet or broom. The last one is pure derby in its application.

You stand on the board and someone repeatedly gives you pushes and shoves, front and back, high and low attempting to cause you to lose you balance. Do this one with some sense of restraint.

For most patients, a simple rocker board with its one plane of motion is challenge enough. Many pro athletes raise the bar by using a balance board. This board has a half ball attached to the bottom. Now your body has to control motion in a 360° plane. Yep, just the kind of fun you were looking for.

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health and fitness

tips for vegan skaters C AT H O L I C C R U E L G I R L , R O C K Y M O U N TA I N R O L L E R G I R L S

Probably the most asked question I get when it comes to a vegetarian/vegan diet is “...but where do you get your protein?”

Certain industries have us fooled into thinking we need more protein than necessary. Most people only need 0.8 grams per kilogram of body weight per day (i.e. a 150 pound human requires approximately 54 grams of protein per day).

So, let’s talk protein.

If you are looking for a protein powder to make your own smoothies, hemp protein is superior. Hemp protein is a nutrientrich, whole food in its natural state, meaning that it does not go through processing to isolate the protein. (Soy goes through a process which usually involves chemicals. In addition this causes the protein to be more acid-forming and have a higher ph). Hemp’s protein is complete. It contains all ten essential amino acids. In addition, hemp foods are raw so they maintain their high level of vitamins and minerals.

Other Sources: Legumes (better known as beans, beans, the wonderful fruit... hee-hee.

Beans get a bad rap in the fart department. All you need to do is rinse and rinse again. If you are using dried beans, rinse well after soaking AND after cooking. For canned beans, rinse thoroughly

16 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

before adding to your dish. Below is a breakdown of high-protein legumes: legume portion protein/gram Lentils 1 cup 18 grams Black Beans 1 cup 15 grams Chickpeas 1 cup 12 grams Pinto 1 cup 12 grams Lastly, quinoa is a fabulous grain that can easily replace white rice in any dish. Quinoa needs to be rinsed to remove the natural bitter resin. Cook like rice in a 1:2 quinoa – water ratio. One cup of cooked quinoa packs 9 grams of protein.

Protein helps build muscle, not fuel it. So you will want to eat a well-balanced meal that includes protein no sooner than an hour after your workout or bout.

Next issue: recipes for before, during and after competition: What we need to fuel our bodies and why.

As a contributor to fiveonfive magazine I love to hear from our readers and get input as to the type of recipes you would like to see, as well as any nutrition/supplement questions. Email me at recipes @fiveonfivemag.com.

Soup, Salad and Potatoes Catholic Cruel Girl, Rocky Mountain Rollergirls photos Jean Schwarzwalder

Refreshing Watermelon Gazpacho

Grilled Potato Salad Skewers

ingredients: 7 lbs. seedless watermelon 1 red bell pepper, seeded and minced 1 yellow pepper, seeded and minced 1 jalapeño, seeded (if you want more kick, use the seeds), and minced 1 small onion, minced 2 cloves garlic, minced

ingredients: 10 small red potatoes, scrubbed and cut in half diagonally 3 tablespoons avocado oil 2 tablespoons garlic, minced 1 tablespoon chives, minced

1 cucumber, peeled, seeded and minced ½ cup cilantro, roughly chopped ¼ cup red wine vinegar 2 tablespoons olive oil Salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste

Remove green skin and white pith from watermelon and cut into small cubes. In a blender, puree the watermelon. (Note: this may need to be done in a few batches). Set aside in a large bowl.

Add red and yellow pepper, jalapeño, onion, garlic, cucumber, cilantro, vinegar and oil to watermelon puree. Season lightly with salt and pepper. Chill at least two hours before serving.

Serves 6

2 tablespoons flat leaf Italian parsley, finely chopped 6 metal skewers (bamboo skewers are not strong enough to pierce through the uncooked potatoes)

Wash potatoes and cut them in half, diagonally.

In a medium bowl, combine oil, garlic, chives and parsley. Divide mixture into two portions.

In a large bowl, toss potatoes with one portion of marinade.

Thread potatoes onto metal skewers and grill until tender (approximately 20-30 minutes). Be sure to have grill on a lower heat setting so as not to burn potatoes. Turn occasionally and brush with remaining marinade as they cook. *delicious served warm or cold Serves 6

Snappy Arugula Salad ingredients: 1 cup arugula 1 teaspoon balsamic vinaigrette (I like Organic Ville brand) 1 teaspoon pine nuts Fresh ground pepper to taste Makes 1 serving

*for superior flavor and optimal nutrition, always use organic ingredients

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 17

©2011 The Leather Scent

games and coaching

rinxter stats program T H O M A S G E R BA S I , N E W Y O R K C I T Y, N Y

Once seen as a haven for only the most hardcore of the hardcore, statistics have become as much a part of sports as the games themselves. General managers in baseball use them in contract negotiations and coaches in basketball and football implement them in strategy sessions to determine tendencies and predict future performance, and that’s not to mention the multi-million dollar business that fantasy sports games have become. But in the best circumstances, statistics tell the story of a game, a season, or a player’s performance. They’re a way of quantifying what we see on the playing field.

Firmly believing in such a notion was a former developer named Elliot Napakh. A recreational skater in his free time, Napakh met his wife while skating on the streets of New York, and when she became better known as Double Clutch of the Gotham Girls Roller Derby league’s Brooklyn Bombshells, he got hooked on the sport as well.

But he was going to go from spectator to participant (in more than one way) very fast.

“Double Clutch joined the league for the 2009 season and following every game, they would send out an Excel spreadsheet with stats about the game, and I found those very interesting,” Napakh recalled. “I would scrutinize them, read through them, and one time she sent me a link to a project called Foul-O-Matic. It was a board with Christmas lights where for every minor penalty they would turn a light on. It set off a light bulb – why not just use a computer and a projector for that kind of stuff?”

It seemed simple enough, but despite the comprehensive nature of the stats that Gotham’s Hewlett Smackard was sending out, it was still being done by hand without the electronic tools that were available. Well, at least Napakh thought they were available.

18 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com 20

“I started working with the stats that Gotham was sending out and learning how that worked,” he said.

“I looked into various other projects and searched for derby stats programs or scoreboards, but I really didn’t find anything, so I decided to write one.” Just like that, Rinxter was born.

Well, it wasn’t that easy, but with Napakh’s program, the compilation and distribution of derby stats is, and the results are nothing short of amazing. Humbly, Napakh deflects much of the praise, stating that the initial goal of Rinxter was simply to replicate the stats he was already receiving.

“They were pretty comprehensive,” he said of the early stat reports.

“Hewlett Smackard was the creator of the stats and he came up with some of the basic concepts, and I replicated that in Rinxter, but since then there’s been demand for additional stats, and it was relatively easy to do because of the program.”

These days, a typical report from a Gotham bout clocks in at 15 pages, and if you pore over it with a fine tooth comb, it’s possible to get a complete recap, jam by jam, of what happened in the bout, even if you weren’t there to witness it. “It’s a very important story to tell,” said Napakh. “It doesn’t just recreate the game, it paints a picture about skater performance and about the team strategy, and it’s not just for the team, but for potential opponents as well. I think it’s a great analysis and learning tool. I looked at the stats before Rinxter and scrutinized them and tried to come up with a picture like that where I could see why a team lost or why they scored this many points on penalties. I think stats help to answer a lot of questions, or if you have a theory, they help to prove or disprove that theory.”

Joe Rollerfan

Yet before you brace yourself while wondering what type of high-tech gizmos you need to get this level of detail into your bout reports, there’s no need to worry. The Rinxter program is free to download at rinxter.com and once you install the software, all you need is your computer (or mobile device) for basic stat tracking, and a router and a few more team members with their computers (or mobile devices) to comprehensively compile everything that is happening on the track.

“You need as little as one and up to five or six trackers, depending on the level of detail you want to keep,” explains Napakh. “If you have just one tracker, he or she will be able to capture just the basic scoring information. If you have five or six trackers, you can capture everything about the game.

There are different modes of operation – one is timed with a clock running and one is non-timed. Timed requires more coordination because there has to be one person responsible for actually starting and stopping the clock. Non-timed requires less coordination – people can just enter statistics as they perceive them, regardless of what jam it is, and they will be automatically broadcast across all the terminals. It can be simple or as sophisticated as the league decides to make it.”

As with anything, there’s a learning curve in the beginning, but Napakh has some helpful tips for newcomers. “Start small,” he said. “Run a non-timed bout with very basic stat capture – lineups, scores, penalties. Once you get more familiar with the program, add additional trackers and the

timing function. And if anyone has any questions, I’m happy to answer them.” So far, the response has been, in his words, “pretty amazing,” with hundreds of downloads and plenty of inquiries from leagues all over the derby world. Gotham uses the program extensively, not just for stat-tracking, but as part of its video broadcasts, which air on local television in New York, and Napakh and his team have gone to other leagues to demo the program.

And while change is always something slow in coming in any walk of life, Napakh is confident that Rinxter will eventually become the gold standard in derby stat keeping.

As for his devotion to the game, it’s important to note that he does find time for something else between his day job in the financial industry, his role as a husband, and as the inventor of Rinxter, and that’s as jammer Ronnie Mako, number seven on the men’s roller derby powerhouse, the New York Shock Exchange.

“I enjoy skating, it’s how my wife and I met, and I’m having a lot of fun doing it,” he said. “About roller derby, I like the ‘do it yourself’ aspect. It’s not just given to you – as you’re playing, you can actually comment and influence how the rules and the game will evolve and I think that’s exciting. I’m also very excited that it’s a new sport and more and more athletes are joining. It takes it to a whole new level, and as people get involved – not just playing the sport but helping out the league and doing other stuff – it makes it more rewarding. And you’re working with great people, and that’s rewarding too.”

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games and coaching

pivot line strategies B I T C H E S B R U Z E , P I O N E E R VA L L E Y R O L L E R D E R B Y

Over the past few years, pre-jam strategies have rapidly developed in flat track derby. To get the most out of this article, you and your team should read the most current ruleset and appendices and look for every rule and procedure that impacts jam starts. This article overviews jam start concepts both to help understand the game and aid in building your team’s playbook. To develop strategies, we begin by determining what opportunities may be leveraged.

Pack Opportunities ● control time ● set pack pace ● pack position optimization ● engagement location, timing, speed

Jammer Opportunities ● first or last to pack ● jam line positioning ● 3.4.2.2 ● where and when to engage pack

basic pre-jam whistle opportunities

controlling time Some game situations arise in which teams want to control the time between the jam and jammer start whistles. burn time Burning time for the jam also burns penalty time and period time. This reduces the impact of key players in the penalty box or scoring opportunities. A team can control when the pack crosses the pivot line through blocking and bridging or a combination of the two.

split pack starting formation saves time

taking the bait to be blocked out of play

set pack pace Pack pace is most critical during power jams. There are methods to influence the pace before anyone even starts skating. Most of them are related to pack position optimization, but a few techniques are unique to pre-whistle play.

blocking to kill time

fast pace Perhaps one of the easiest way to establish pack pace is to take advantage of having the only in-play skaters at the jam start whistle. Opponents who have taken a knee have often done so to save time because they have the only jammer on the track. This also means they’d prefer a slow pack pace.

A team that wants a fast pace has been given a gift by opponents taking a knee as they have the opportunity to set the pack pace however they want. Speeding away at the jam start whistle means your opponents not only need to get up, but also they need to catch up or start facing penalties for not reforming at the established pace.

burning bridges

save time When your team needs to increase scoring opportunities, such as when the game is close but you’re behind or the other team does not have a jammer on the track, the pack’s goal is to keep the time between the jam and jammer whistle as short as possible. Skaters can bait the pack over the line quickly, use “knee down” tactics (see Coach T.’s article Knee Down Start Issue 11), or facilitate a “no pack” to get the jammers going.

22 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

slow pace Targeting a goat before the jam whistle begins with the pivot who has the right to have her hips in front of any opposing skater and can be enhanced by pre-jam start communication which opponent will be blocked into a slow pack play. Most slow pace goals are also combined with saving time. Position your skaters so the isolating happens after the pivot line and, preferably, toward the outside of the track, keeping the inside open for your jammer and the pack pace as relatively slow as possible.

Jules Doyle

pack position optimization Planning for individual player positions post-whistle starts before the whistle. With experience, skaters learn pack dynamics and how to be where they want to be when they want to be there. For example being the “inside blocker” does not mean a skater has to be positioned on the inside line when the whistle blows but needs to be in position post-whistle to implement plays in progress. There are virtually limitless post-whistle formations. Here are a couple examples to demonstrate how pre-whistle planning can create post-whistle opportunities. the pivot pull-off This play takes advantage of the opposing team not having a pivot at the jam start whistle. In the pre-jam positioning, the pivot places her skate on the pivot line and clusters all of her teammates on the pivot line in front of her own hips. This usually deters opposing blockers from forcing a close-to-line position. After the 5-second warning, but before the jam start whistle, she removes her skate from the pivot line, yielding her pivot advantage. Front of pack owned.

3-wall shuffle In the 3-wall Shuffle, we position our skaters to have a 3-1 formation after the jammer start whistle. Our pivot takes a strong position on the pivot line with enough room for her inside blocker to come up the inside on the whistle but not enough to allow the opposing pivot to start closer to the inside line. At the whistle, pivot steps and blocks opposing pivot, opening the inside and establishing a center position in a front wall of three as her inside comes up the inside and her outside sprints to take position on the outside.

engagement location, speed, timing Post whistle strategies will dictate where your pack wants to engage the jammer(s). This varies depending on many conditions.

Here are a few scenarios to get you started planning strategies around jammer engagement.

instant engagement zone Using the above pre-jam formation, the yellow blockers can remain in play but if they keep themselves more than 10’ from the pack, the jammer whistle will blow before they cross the pivot line and while they’re still within 20’ of the jammer line. Positioning like this can be used to keep an opposing jammer from making your own jammer ineligible for lead. pivot line engagement Using a formation like the instant engagement zone, a rear pair of blockers can time the engagement of the opposing jammer at or near the pivot line – the narrowest point on the track and often the easiest to defend. Early engagement of jammers can set the tone of a jam and often leads to less time spent in first pass.

When dissecting jam start play effectiveness, evaluate the jam from the lineups before the whistle until lead jammer status is determined. Once lead has been determined assume other play factors have more influence on the outcome.

For more study, take your new knowledge of jam start strategies and watch ten different jam starts between the Philly Roller Girls and Gotham Girls Roller Derby from WFTDA Eastern Regionals 2010. youtube.com/bitchesbruze

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PHOTO ANNUAL available at fiveonfivemag.com

games and coaching

coach’s corner by coach pauly

know your roll

part 12: evolution of training

like I was working a carnival ride at the In a short time, derby training has evolved from the county fair with an endless line of people humble beginnings of pace lines and general skating to waiting for me to hit the switch that would multifaceted circuit training on and off skates. As the allow them their turn to spin, twist and puke game play has changed, the training has changed with it. to Def Leppard blaring over the speakers. I I want to cover some of the questions that I have knew then that the days of leagues trying to encountered on my travels. There are four basic areas keep 30 skaters in the league would soon be that seem to be troublesome for many leagues. gone and a wave of skaters would be lining I know that we are all here for the common goal of up to join. Now that we have the numbers, making our sport thrive, but let’s face it: we all have lives how do you manage them in the same space that seem to get in the way of our derby. Attendance can that we have been working with since day be one of the biggest hurdles for any league. Whether one? So really we are talking about the size you are trying to field a competitive house team or of your training space and the number of getting your travel team ready for tournament season, skaters that you have to train safely in that space. In some getting all of the skaters involved at the same practice, taking in the same information and processing it together instances, there are climate issues. The average leagues that I have trained on the road practice on a regulation as one unit may be difficult. Some leagues have very size hockey rink (in North America) which is 200 ft x 85 stringent policies and bylaws that keep everyone honest ft. In that space, you can easily manage higher numbers and motivated. Others have chose to leave it open and by splitting your skaters into groups, assigning a captain allow skaters to show up when they please. No matter or pivot to each group and having them training in what your viewpoint is, each member of the league has to buy into the direction you have chosen. The leadership circuits. For example, if you have 70 skaters at your practice and you have split them into six groups, two has to follow through no matter who the skater is; the groups can be doing five sprint laps (one group around rules should be the same for everyone. Any variation that the outside of the track, the other on). The other groups has not been approved by the majority will be seen as would be going through exercises at stations of the track. weakness in the leadership. You then fall into people After sprinting groups complete their laps, they come doubting the system and chaos ensues. Ultimately, the off and everyone is ready and at their next station... best way to take away most of the venom of this problem is to have a policy committee that goes through each issue the whistle blows and away we go. Here is a diagram of something similar. and works every possible angle. Once everything is run through and all the loopholes are closed off, get Planks: Knee Touches: Bracing using your hands.

Hold until the whistle blows or the policies voted in and get until failure or whatever comes first.

Focus on form. each league member to sign TUNE UP TIME them. Now a document is Each team pivot picks a station the cop (or the bad guy if and starts and ends at that station. you will)... not the coach, training committee or the board. Now any time there Sprint 5 laps: is a question, the answers After each station. are clearly stated within When finished, raise your hand and wait for the whistle to stop. that document.

Push Up Pinwheels: Jump Squats: Get into push up position and Start in a proper derby stance Back in 2006, I started execute a push up, then walk and leap straight up landing with coaching sessions at on your hands in that position knees bent in a low squat, one stride and repeat until you reset and repeat.

RollerCon in fabulous Sin have gone one full rotation.

City. It was crazy how many people attended – there were Russian Twists: so many that I had to give V Sits: Focus on your form, engage your Finger tops to toe stops hold little bits of instruction to core and touch your elbows to the until failure, rest and repeat. ground when you twist side to side. keep the lines moving. I felt 26 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

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You can customize it to what your leagues’ needs are.

The more skaters you have = more frustration if the practices are ground to a halt and skaters have to stand around. The more you can keep their minds off of the work and focus on the fun, the easier the information will flow and be absorbed. I spoke about climate earlier; in the case of my current league, we have the space but it is in an oversized blow up tent with no insulation! When it’s 30 below outside, you can imagine how cold it was inside with little heat. So if you have a similar situation, keep ‘em moving.

If you are not blessed with the space, focus your training and tailor your drills to the space you do have.

I was coaching in Victoria, Canada, in 2007 and they had a situation where they could only get rink space for a set amount of time. I wanted to maximize the time I was there so we worked it out. One of the skaters was a teacher at a Montessori school and they had a small

gym that we could use for a whole day. I split the time with a classroom session of rules and strategy. After checking out the space, I decided to have all the skaters take off their skates and we would run all the drills on foot; it worked like a charm. The skaters that were bad asses on their skates were now on the same plane as the skaters that couldn’t skate very well. Mutual respect was shared by all and we were able to add so much more time to the training session just by thinking outside of the box.

This same idea works at the park or anywhere really that has a flat surface. If you take some extra time in your planning by taking into account the space, the people and the training needed, you get a bottom-line that is always in the green.

‘Til next time, see you on the track…

If you have any questions, comments or feedback please email me at derbywhisperer@gmail.com.

DRILL drill: fall back and block purpose: practice timing of offensive hits

Everyone skates in a pack. The coach yells the name of the skater in the front and she starts to fall back into the pack and block other skaters as she is doing so. The blocker should be moving around the pack from inside to outside blocking as many people as she can as other skaters pass her. The coach yells names quickly so that people aren’t waiting too long for their turns.

Masonite Burn

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 27

gear

bearings I S A A C O LT M A N S , R O L L O N E D I S T R I B U T I O N

If you are using the ABEC standard when purchasing your bearings, please understand that they test at speeds we’d never reach. They test at 20,000 RPM, and if you’re riding a 64mm going 60 MPH you’re only at 8,004 RPM. So I don’t recommend it for skating tolerances. I know this sounds strange, throwing out your only reference when buying bearings. Fact is that the testing done doesn't cover friction on skate-related side loads and the tests were designed for industrial purposes.

The best way I have found to purchase bearings is to talk to your friendly service representative at your local skate shop.

When I look at purchasing bearings, I look at the precision parts of the bearing to determine if it is what I want. Parts like a removable ball retainer are key to me, as well as a shielded bearing for the ease of maintenance.

An important part to your bearings is how it shields against dirt and other nasty elements that could ruin the precision of your bearings. The difference between a shielded and sealed bearing is easy; a shielded bearing has a space between the inner race and the shield, meaning no friction between the two parts. A sealed bearing means that the seal touches the inner race, thus having some friction. Sealed bearings do have their advantages, don't get me wrong. They are great for winter skating or good aerobic training.

One more thing to consider is if you would like a serviceable bearing or not. I recommend a serviceable bearing if you don’t mind spending time tuning out your skates. Serviceable bearings require some maintenance, but not as much as people think.

The way to determine if your bearings are serviceable is if the shields are removable by being either a rubber shield or have a snap ring holding the shield in place. Some people think it is a good idea to take a part a non-serviceable bearing to service it. The only maintenance you should do to a non-serviceable bearing is to wipe the debris off the bearing. Make sure that you wipe away from the inner race or the debris may work its way into the space between the inner race and the shield. Do not use W-D or any lubricant on these bearings, because they are grease packed. If you decide to do so anyway, the life of your bearing is in danger as the cleaner will only break down the lubrication in the bearing and run it dry.

Now that you know the difference between a serviceable bearing and a non-serviceable bearing, you need to figure out which one you would rather skate on. If you are really into the sport and like to have fun, spend money on your bearings. There are a lot of low grade/low cost bearings out there with the ABEC stamp of approval out there, so be careful. Ask the opinion of a local for what they’ve tried.

cleaning your bearings I VA N N A S . PA N K I N ’ , S O C A L D E R B Y

Bearings roll better clean and wheels last longer when you rotate them. How often you need to clean yours depends on how hard you use them. Here’s the lazy skater’s guide to cleaning ‘em quick.

Are they dirty? Good indications that yours need cleaning include: • They make noise or whine when you’re skating • You can feel resistance when you turn your wheels by hand; some wheels spin slower 28 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

• A bearing is hot to the touch after you’ve been skating • It’s been six months or so since the last time you cleaned them What you need: • 30 minutes or so • skate tool or 3/8 or 13mm socket wrench • citrus cleaner or bearing cleaner • bearing or sewing machine oil • low-fuzz rags (I like old T-shirts) • aluminum baking tin (coffee cake size works great)

• old toothbrush • paper towels • canned air (like you would use on electronics) Optional but super helpful: • a bearing press / puller tool take your bearings out of the wheels Remove the bearings from the wheels. Be really careful taking them out and putting them in. If you dent the dust covers, which is the soft flat ring, often with engraving on it (where it says your ABEC rating) – the cover can press on the ball bearings

soak and agitate There are a lot of things you can use to clean bearings. Skate shops sell bearing cleaner in small bottles for a lot of money – but you can also get a jug of citrus cleaner at a Home Depot or other hardware store for a lot cheaper – and it’s the same stuff.

We used to clean ours in gas – until a Riedell rep told us the soap in gas dries and cracks covers and races. I am told mineral spirits are also fine, but I recommend citrus cleaner because it’s cheap, easy to get, and is recommended by experts like the folks that make Bones Bearings.

Place your bearings in the baking tin and then pour enough cleaner in there to cover every bearing. Let them soak a while, agitating every couple minutes.

Then, depending on how much crud is in the tin, dump the liquid carefully and do the whole process again. blow ‘em Once you can spin the bearings without hearing or feeling any major resistance, take them out. Since there is no oil in them, they’re not likely to spin easily, but you should be able to feel hitches in the roll it if there is still crud in there. If you live in a super dry climate, lay them out to

air dry on a clean, non-fuzzy cloth or paper towel. If you live somewhere humid or your bearings are really dirty in the first place, blow them out with the canned air computer nerds use to clean out electronics. Make sure they are completely 110% dry. A tiny amount of dampness can rust your bearings overnight.

Q: What’s under the dust cover?

A: Ball bearings in a race. lube ‘em up After they’re dry, you want to put ONE DROP of oil in each bearing and spin it to spread it around. A particularly slow bearing might want two drops, but resist the urge to put a lot more in because too much oil attracts dirt and you’ll regret it later. If you oil a bearing and it still doesn’t spin freely, you might want to consider replacement – or if you can’t afford new bearings, at least put bad ones aside to put on your back outside wheels, or in whatever positions wear patterns on your wheels show you use the least.

When you’re oiling them, separate the fastest-spinning bearings from the rest. You want your best bearings in your pusher wheels. push them in Press the bearings back into the wheels.

Put the fastest bearings in the wheels that show the least amount of wear.

This is where most people dent their bearings, so be careful! Again, handle them by the stainless parts – like the middle part that spins – not on the covers.

Even better: use a bearing press to get them back in the wheels.

Note: If you have aluminum hubs, this job is a little harder, because properly machined hubs are BARELY big enough for the bearings. A bearing press is going to make a big difference for you. But with or

without it, you may want to put just a very tiny amount of oil – TINY!!! – on your finger and rub it on the inside of the hub and outside of the bearing to ease the process. Then push the bearing in at a perfectly perpendicular 90 degree angle slowly, rocking it gently if it gets stuck.

Finesse is the key – you cannot force bearings into metal hubs.

Make sure the two bearings for each wheel are pressed in all the way back, then put your best wheels on your pusher positions, rotating your baldest ones back to the spots you don’t need as much.

Basically, you want to put them back on opposite of how you took them off – the ones you used the most for pushing will be baldest – you want to remount your best wheels in those positions. tighten ‘em up Screw your axle nuts back on snugly.

Note: This is a good time to hand test the nuts to make sure that the nylon isn’t too worn. If you can tighten them past the nylon ring without a tool, they can also loosen without a tool. Toss them.

How tight should you put them on? If you’re not sure, an easy way to figure it out is to tighten them down carefully, just until your wheels barely turn, then back them off until they spin freely. It is possible to tighten them so much you dent the dust covers, so be careful, especially if you’re using power tools (set power drill clutch lower to avoid over-tightening). The nut should not be so snug that your wheel can’t spin freely – nor so loose that you can rock the wheel on the axle.

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 29

photo by Elisa Baker

inside, creating resistance and slowing your roll. Dust covers are very easy to dent if you’re not careful. Many newer common bearings have plastic dust covers that are much harder to damage. Regardless, it’s best to handle them with the stainless part and avoid touching the covers.

You can use your truck axles to carefully pry your bearings out – or you can use a bearing puller like benchmounted press or a hand-held puller.

I would recommend using a tool because it is possible to mess up the threads on your axles. If you use the axles, be careful, or get a skate tool with an axle threader.

gear

leather vs. vinyl I VA N N A S . PA N K I N ’ , S O C A L D E R B Y

Leather or Vinyl?

What Makes a Better Roller Derby Boot?

agent – the jury is out on that one. My experience was that my first two pairs of lower quality leather skates (both made overseas) were no more durable than vinyl. And neither one

Most common derby and speed skating boots uppers are made of leather or vinyl. Generally speaking, high-end leather skates are superior in most ways, besides the ethical ones for those that prefer cows still mooing. But in the lower price ranges, that’s not so much the case – in many ways, vinyl boots are superior to similarly priced leather – especially for rookie derby skaters.

Of course, not all vinyl boot-wearers are rookies. We’re often asked to help skaters find vegan (non-leather) skates that are appropriate for what we do. And actually, vinyl skates do have some features that make them an attractive choice.

lasted longer than a season. But the same stiffener that is meant to make the leather more durable also makes it, well – stiffer.

Similar quality leather boots are harder to break in, far less forgiving in slightly wrong sizes (read: blisters and calluses in loose boots, foot pain and worse in tight boots – sometimes both if you’re really unlucky). The comparison of vinyl boots to really well-made, high-end leather boots stacks up a lot higher for the latter, though. When you start comparing the counters – the ankle, arch and foot support – in vinyl vs. best quality leather boots (like 265s, 595s, 695s), then it’s a whole new ball game.

U.S. made leather skates and some of the newest Asian manufactured mid-range boots (like the Vixens and Rebels) are a lot more durable in many ways.

fit Vinyl is flexible and forgiving – especially compared to leather skates in the same price range. If you’re not absolutely sure about what size you wear, vinyl can be a good compromise. Vinyl skates don’t break in – they are not going to mold to your feet like leather will. The truth is that by the time your feet start changing the fit of those skates, the vinyl is breaking down.

Depending on how hard you skate in them and how often, once the vinyl starts to break down, you may have from a few weeks to a few months left in them. But the good news is that while you do have them (usually about a season), they’re good skates; usually comfy, usually inexpensive, usually a very good buy. And vinyl skates in the beginning price ranges tend to run medium width (Boxers, R3s, Pacers), while most of the similarly priced leather skates veer towards narrow (Torq, Carerra) or very wide (Rock). So your odds of getting a comfortable fit in them – especially ordering mail-order – are considerably higher in vinyl boots. durability Unfortunately, vinyl is not durable – not like quality leather. But the reason we often recommend vinyl boots over the leather ones in the lowest price ranges is pretty simple. $100 skates aren’t made of quality leather. The only way manufacturers can afford to produce leather boots at that price point is to use lower quality leather and overseas workmanship. And that lower quality leather typically has a stiffening agent added to it to help it last longer. The boot may theoretically last longer due to the stiffening

30 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

cost Vinyl boots are cheaper than U.S. made, high quality leather boots. They’re also usually a little cheaper than similar price point leather boots, as well. For about $100 an average rookie skater can get vinyl boots that will last her about a season, less if she skates hard and practice constantly – longer if she’s mellow, still learning to skate, or just skates more recreationally.

However, you can’t talk about cost without talking about durability again. How much did you spend and how long will that last you before you have to buy skates again? If you do skate really hard, you’re likely to tear through really high end skates quickly, as well. In the durability bit above, we talked about vinyl vs. cheap leather. Again, in the very cheapest range of boots, I’d choose vinyl over pressed leather recreational skates every time.

But how does vinyl do against high end, quality leather boots?

Not so good. High end boots still wear out in our sport. Quality leather hides don’t wear out as fast, and good skates made of good quality materials by hand by little old ladies in a factory filled with pictures of their grandkids will be better crafted, more comfortable, better fitting, better engineered for our sport, and have more support and features you will love – and NEED, once you’re out of the rookie stages. But at the rate I’m going, personally, I’m still tearing through great (expensive) skates at the rate of about one pair per season, as well. Manufacturers

Laura Amos

are working hard to make skates more durable with reinforced toes and other durability-related features, but if they made them bulletproof, they’d put themselves out of business. So I think durability will always be a bit of an issue. However, to compare, I sincerely doubt I’d even get a solid month out of a pair of stock vinyl boots. I guarantee that my well made, relatively expensive leather boots are better in a thousand ways than any pair of vinyl boots. But while they are far more durable, especially like I mentioned before, when you factor in the counters – the fact remains that derby beats the shit out of more than just our bodies.

So basically, to compare cost and durability you end up with an equation that is made up of your experience level, how aggressive you skate, what type of surface you’re on (concrete eats skates), and how much you’re willing to spend, how often.

My first favorite skates were prototype 265s. At six months they looked like I had backed my car over them – repeatedly. But it wasn’t until almost a year that the fit became too loose and uncomfortable. My next favorites were 695 boots. They have quality leather inside and out – and I found that they were tough to break in for my wide-ish feet. But once I did have them broken in, they gave me almost two solid years of comfort. I finally wore off the foam on the tongue, and by the time I got my replacement Sherling tongue installed, I had fallen for a pair of custom-fit and

featured skates based on the 965 design. They were beautiful blue leather, soft as a baby’s butt – and I probably would have wore them out quickly, but they’re still in decent shape because I upgraded to Revenge on a second pair after just a few months.

Those are not a year old and they’re still bedroom-slipper comfy and holding up quite well, but they’re not the snug fit I prefer. So if durability was the most critical feature for me, I would choose the 695s with their double reinforced high end leather. Of course, durability isn’t ever the only factor you have to consider! ethics All skates – without exception – in that $100 or so price range are made in China and almost all skates, at this moment, that aren’t made in China are made of leather. There is one exception, and that’s Riedell’s Clarino ® customization, which they offer on any of their U.S. made skates. I really thought Clarino® skates would be super popular! So far our friends that have them love them. But outside of customization, which can get quite expensive, the ethical problem isn’t exactly simple. For those with strong ethical reasons for choosing non-animal products, that may be a consideration. Is choosing a non-animal product ultimately better from an ethical perspective than choosing a product made in far-lower-than-U.S.-standards of factory working conditions? That’s one you’ll have to answer for yourself.

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wftda

Nicolas Charest for RollerGirl.ca

rl.ca

minors beta testing Those headed to the East Coast Derby Extravaganza June 24-26 (or watching it online) will have a chance to watch WFTDA-style derby with a twist.

Three sanctioned bouts at this year’s ECE are among the official beta test bouts for a ruleset with no minor penalties.

Additional tests are being conducted in private bouts between WFTDA member leagues.

“WFTDA is very excited to beta test a 'no minors' ruleset,” said Heather “Ms. D’fiant” Watson, WFTDA Games Officer. “Not only is a minor-less bout a radical change to the penalty system, it is also the first time an alternate ruleset is allowed in WFTDA-sanctioned play. This groundbreaking move to vet philosophies is pivotal to the ruleset evolution of such a fast-growing, dynamic sport.”

WFTDA announced the beta test project in early April in response to a growing interest in a significant rules shift, the elimination of minor penalties. The WFTDA rules beta Section 6 was created solely for the beta test project to collect data for review. It is not an official proposal to change the rules.

How would no minors rules be different?

In the current ruleset, an illegal action (i.e., blocking to the back, low blocking, forearms, etc.) is penalized based on game impact. Current impact levels include “no impact,” “minor impact,” or “major impact,” based on how much relative advantage a player gains as a result of her foul.

Four minor penalties or one major penalty result in a trip to the penalty box.

The beta test rules Section 6 eliminates the “minor impact” level and shifts penalties for illegal actions to either “no

impact,” meaning it does not result in a penalty, or “major impact,” resulting in a one minute penalty.

For example, if the use of an elbow forces an opponent out of position it will be called as a major penalty. The use of the elbow in which the opponent does not lose position has had no impact and therefore would be called as no impact/no penalty.

Download the full beta test Section 6 at wftda.com/rules.

Why is WFTDA testing a no minors ruleset? And why now?

The no minors concept has been discussed within the WFTDA community for years and there have been various informal discussions of how such a system would work. We have invested a lot of time into first developing a beta test system and then developing a process and ruleset for this particular beta test to ensure that the process produces meaningful results to inform future decision-making. The purpose is to collect information that will help WFTDA membership decide, at a future point in time, whether this is a change they want to pursue.

Won’t getting rid of minors just make play sloppy and dangerous?

Not necessarily. In crafting the rules that will be used during the beta test, we didn’t just eliminate minors; we adjusted the impact levels for each category of penalty, as explained above. We don't believe it will make the game more dangerous, otherwise we would not be moving ahead with the beta test.

However, the main reason for conducting testing, rather than just changing the rules, is to see how such a major shift would affect game play. The safety of our skaters is paramount.

When will these changes go into effect?

At this point, we don’t know whether these specific changes will ever become a part of the official WFTDA rules. Rules changes are voted on by WFTDA member leagues. As part of the next rules update cycle in 2012, member leagues could choose to adopt the changes or an amended version of the beta no minors ruleset. They could also opt not to eliminate minors.

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 37

junior derby

rocky mountain rollerpunks DA N G E R O U S L E I G H A’ Z O N , R O C K Y M O U N TA I N R O L L E R G I R L S

When I was in high school, a teacher said that kids live up to your lowest expectations.

At the time I wasn’t sure what he meant. But after a year coaching the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls’ junior derby league, the Rocky Mountain Rollerpunks, I understand clearly.

We’ve set the bar high and the kids have done nothing but meet it.

It is breathtakingly gratifying to see them play. There is no feeling like it.

We have learned much in the first year of our junior league. Key among those lessons is the demand. Our first registration was a mob scene. About 45 kids signed up and then about 35 remained through our season. This year, we thought we were prepared and we were mobbed again and have a wait list. RMRP now has about 70 skaters and a growing wait list.

For us, the Punks are our future. They represent everything that the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls will be. Our junior league is structured roughly off of the adult league and our team names are based on the adult league names. For instance RMRG’s A-squad is the 5280 Fight Club. The RMRP A-squad is the 5280 Might Cub. We wanted to make sure that the adults and juniors were invested in one another and they certainly are. The adult skaters attend junior events, work as guest trainers to

38 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

share their knowledge and experience, and provide the space, track and equipment needed. We keep dues low to make sure economics doesn’t deprive a child who wants to play.

We’ve had staggering results. The 5280 Might Club is undefeated, but they are also gracious hostesses and good sports. They play hard, fair, and espouse all of the values of the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls. We are so very proud.

benefit from the diversity of guest trainers from the likes of the 5280 Fight Club. All of our training is based on the training provided in the adult league because these kids will graduate into RMRG at 18. We know that RMRG’s formula works, so we decided that we wouldn’t reinvent the wheel and the kids have shown that they don’t need

a watered down version.

We build the kids up in a pyramid, starting with foundational skating basics and steadily build up to highstrategy roller derby. Our program runs all year for the teens and from April to October for our 6- to 11-yearolds. They learn fast.

Conditioning: Derby is hard.

We never make any bones about that. Our program includes regular conditioning to help make the kids develop the strength they need to prevent injuries and to be fast, DaveWoodPhotography.com agile players. We watched as Here are a few lessons from our our skaters got stronger and with it, their first year: self-esteem grew. The difference among Coaching and Training: We have conditioned and non-conditioned junior a great team of coaches, trainers and skaters is night and day. volunteers. We have two head coaches, Nutrition: Boy, do we harp on nutrition. two assistant coaches and a slew of At registration we inform the poor little trainers who help with every aspect souls that they are giving up soda and of every practice. We are particularly then explain why. They are taught they blessed to have teachers among us. need to fuel their derby bodies.

Philosophically, we run a tight, Core Values: disciplined ship based on respect for • “I don’t care if you can do it, but I care everyone involved. Kids thrive on the very much whether you try!” We insist discipline and have the security of a core that every kid try the new skills, even crew of coaches and trainers. They also if those skills are hard. We have

DaveWoodPhotography.com

enough adults at practice to enforce this and help with the trickier skills.

When they try, they learn it and they are proud of themselves. We point out that falling isn’t something to be ashamed of. It means a limit was pushed while learning.

• “Nothing worth having is easy.” Punks push through. The determination they develop in order to become fullfledged derby skaters carries through in every aspect of their lives. They want to earn their derby names. They want to be teamed and, lo and behold, they do it. Our retention is high, so it isn’t too tough for them.

• “These are your teammates. Care for them, as they will care for you.”

Support and encouragement among the skaters is invaluable. We have them look around at one another and remind them that together they are a force. And they are.

• “No crying unless you are really hurt.”

Crying is not appropriate if kids are startled, uncomfortable, perturbed, annoyed or just plain cranky. Tears must mean something to the coaching and training staff, preferably, “I am hurt and I need help!” The kids easily

follow this rule, even those whose parents warned us would be criers.

• “Get to practice!” Attendance is vital for the development of individual skaters and the teams. Attendance is tracked and those who don’t show don’t skate in exhibitions or bouts.

Attendance shows up in the skills.

• “We’re here for you. We’ve got your back and we love you.” Punks know that their coaches and trainers – as tough as we are on them – are their advocates. They can trust us to teach them, advocate for them at their bouts, and do what is best for them.

Signs of trouble are addressed by the coaches and trainers. This individual attention has gotten kids over some humps.

• “You can do it.” It is true. Kids can play strategy-based roller derby. We’ve seen the 5280 Might Club pick up and apply higher-level strategy as a team in just their first year. They play fast, slow, whatever is going to benefit the team. We don’t assume that they can’t get something because they are young. They are smart and we teach them what we know, and they get it.

No need to water it down.

• “No tutus!” No, really. No tutus. Tutus are inappropriate derby attire. They are distracting and it is very easy to get Velcroed to them. No tutus at practice or bouts. We play a sport and wear uniforms that allow for the safe and secure play of that sport. This is another of those Day One rules.

• “Parents, stay here.” It was odd to discover that a parent or two were dropping off kids and leaving. We had to instate a rule requiring one guardian on site. We told the parents that if they were not on site and their child was injured we would call an ambulance as a precaution. On their dime.

Problem solved.

For any league considering establishing a junior component, it is clear to us that a core of dedicated, organized trainers and coaches who can appreciate the love and desire that the kids have to play is important.

Supplementing that training from within your league will only benefit those kids more. It is invaluable for the larger adult league to stand behind the juniors, who look up to them. We beam with pride at our next generation, and they are proud of their many varied accomplishments.

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 39

rookie

and then there were five C L U M B S A R I N A , BA B E C I T Y R O L L E R S

Eleven skaters and two referees from the Babe City Rollers traveled together in one van to the 2010 Rolling Along the River tournament in Sioux City, Iowa. After a brutal day of hard hits, two wins and one loss, BCR faced their fourth bout of the day with only five skaters remaining. “Just take it slow and be safe,” they told each other. “We can forfeit at any time.” It wasn’t the thought of winning that kept them on the track, but rather their love of the sport and a desire to make the most of their first tournament experience. However, ten minutes into the bout, against all odds, BCR was in the lead!

The Babe City Rollers of Bemidji, Minnesota, are an all-female, flat track roller derby league formed in October of 2009 by skaters Olive Mayhem and Kitty ThrashHerAss. Their vision of derby as an empowering and community-centered experience led the way to establishing bylaws and a governance structure based on consensus decision making – giving every skater the power to make decisions regarding the league in order to create an empowering environment based on mutual aid, accountability and respect.

BCR’s first bouting season began in September 2010. This was an exciting time for a new league with a full, competitive schedule, a growing fan base and continual recruitment of new members. All different types of women were coming together to learn how to play roller derby, and the positive energy within the league was invigorating. BCR had also recently been accepted into the WFTDA Apprentice Program.

During this time, the Babes were excited to have the opportunity to experience tournament play for the first time at RAtR. The Babes’ first match-up was against the Harbor City Roller Dames. This high-tension bout was a bit of a grudge match for the Babes after HCRD had beaten them on their home track just two weeks prior in BCR’s first bout of the season.

The Babes were in control for majority of the bout, and were victorious with a final score of 79-40. BCR then moved on to play the tournament hosts, the Sioux City Roller Dames, and lost a hard hitting, hard fought bout 107-77. They also lost one player to injury, bringing the roster to 10. The Babes met Mississippi Valley Mayhem next for their third matchup of the day, which 40 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

they readily won 71-19. As exciting as this win was, it also came with the realization that the Babes now had six injured players, ranging from concussions to sprains to co mplete physical exhaustion, and the day was in no way over.

A double elimination bracket meant they could have as many as three more bouts to go.

As a league that decides everything by consensus, everybody must be in agreement for a decision to move forward. This type of decision making takes time, and the Babes spent over an hour in a circle discussing their options. There were many opinions and emotions ran high. After discussing the physical limitations of the six injured skaters, everyone agreed that they shouldn’t be put at risk for any further complications.

“We have and will always continue to be a very safety conscious league,” says co-captain Piece MakeHer. “We all felt it wasn't worth the risk of a major concussion or compounding injuries to those skaters who felt unable to skate. Additionally, those skaters who felt they couldn’t bout also didn’t want to see five of their teammates get hurt from going it alone.”

The Babes were unable to reach a decision. Then Oh-No-JoJo, while fully supporting the decision that the injured skaters should not skate, made a heartfelt proclamation. “I count five skaters who want to skate, who can skate, and I didn’t ride here for over seven hours to give up when we have the opportunity to keep going,” said Jo-Jo. The sentiment was quickly repeated by Vroom Vroom ka Boom, Oddree Quest, co-captain Olive Mayhem, and Pebbles. There was more discussion about the safety risks involved with this idea. Eventually everyone decided that the remaining five skaters would skate for as long as they felt they safely could and then they would be done. The decision as to when to forfeit would be made by any of the skaters on the track, or by skaters/bench coaches, Roxy Solid and Piece MakeHer.

Consensus was reached and it was decided that BCR’s “Final Five” would take on the Rushmore Rollerz. As the Babes lined up for the first jam, pivot Olive Mayhem realized that the bout would be more manageable if the Babes could slow the game down. While BCR didn’t have much experience with that kind of strategy, she knew her teammates could likely pull it off and she had seen enough footage on DNN to make it seem like a worthwhile tactic. As it turned out, with slow starts off the line, booty blocking and effective teamwork to trap Rushmore skaters, BCR was able to deliberately bring the bout to a slow pace and pull ahead. “During our first time-out, after looking at the score, doing a double-take and then confirming with the ref staff that we were indeed the away team, we realized we were ahead and our skaters were feeling good. Until that moment, nobody dreamed we would skate the whole bout and win,” said skater/bench coach Roxy Solid. However, even at a slow pace, the bout was very physically demanding and required amazing endurance and will. “I personally thought I had ten jams left in me. We only got to rest during time-outs and while serving penalties, and I had never been so happy to be sent to the penalty box!” said Olive Mayhem.

Although BCR’s strategy to keep the pack slow helped their skaters to keep going continually jam after jam, their jammers needed speed to score points, and BCR had only three jammers on the roster. Oh-NO-Jo-Jo, Vroom Vroom kaBoom and Olive Mayhem were only able to “rest” after jamming while blocking in the pack. They had to find the inner strength to keep skating hard, each putting out an amazing amount of effort.

At times it seemed they skated on pure

will and adrenaline. After a particularly grueling and spectacular two minute power jam brought on by a major followed by an insubordination call on Rushmore’s jammer, Oh-No-Jo-Jo’s fierce jamming inspired one fan to publicly declare, “I want to have your babies!”

Skaters from other leagues were lining the track, and cheering reached frenzied levels.

Nobody from BCR thought it was possible to win the bout with five skaters.

They had merely intended to skate a little while and then forfeit when necessary, but by mid-bout Babes who were injured and watching in the stands began expecting a film crew to show up with 80’s montage music to film what felt like an amazing underdog story. For the skaters of BCR, this was the physical realization of women’s s trength, teamwork, and all around feminine empowerment they had been talking about since they first laced up, and against all odds, BCR finished the final jam triumphant.

The final score was Babe City Rollers 107, Rushmore Rollerz 58.

BCR bowed out of the semi-final bout against the Fargo/Moorhead Derby Girls and finished the tournament in third place, behind tournament champions the Sioux City Roller Dames and second place FMDG. Oh-NO-Jo-Jo received an MVP award for her efforts.

Co-captain Olive Mayhem summed up the bout with these words, “I was so proud of everyone. It takes incredible will and strength to know your limits and to respect and trust the limits of your teammates. That was the real victory for me – winning the bout was just an unbelievably awesome and surprising bonus.”

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 41

rookie

roller derby is jazz: scoring with metaphors M I L D R E D F I E R C E , S A N TA C R U Z D E R B Y G I R L S

How many times have you been asked, “What is this roller derby of which you speak?” How tired are you of explaining it with hockey, football or speed skating comparisons? How would you like to sound much smarter and a little condescending?

Yes, me, too. Please enjoy the following fodder for the roller derby metaphor.

Modern roller derby is the fastest growing sport in the pantswearing world. Jazz is an American music style birthed in the early 20th Century, whose popularity continues to grow, especially among those predisposed to pants. Roller derby and jazz share many thematic, cultural and evolutionary similarities, although a grateful nation notes that Miles Davis rarely wore booty shorts.

This paragraph contained a thesis statement. Don’t get lost!

Those unfamiliar with the current roller derby trend, and remembering only the iteration that consumed middle-America in mid-century, with all of its staged fights and well-planned outcomes, might associate this jazz analogy with a cheap lounge act along the lines of Bill Murray’s infamous character on Saturday Night Live (all for show, with a definite hint of someone’s tongue in a willing cheek). “Sure,” you think, “I enjoy the entertainment, but really, since the public failure of the XFL, haven’t we been through enough?”

Persons more familiar with the sport, after attending a few rousing bouts, may recognize a comparison to, say, Ornette Coleman and his free jazz phase (you recognize that he won a Pulitzer, but are still trying to grasp the dissonance). At the point when you are ready cry out, “Does anyone actually know what the hell is going on here?” you start to feel a wave of appreciation and a little gratitude that you are safe as an onlooker and not a participant.

JoeRollerfan.com

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Aficionados will attest to the fact that, even if they’ve never thought about it before (and let’s be frank, not many have), this thing called roller derby is most like Thelonious Monk (it’s been around for awhile now, you’re finally paying attention to it and after a few listens every part makes sense). You’re ready to consider yourself an expert, feel slightly more evolved than your friends, and are considering purchasing a coronet/pair of skates.

Those paragraphs furthered my premise. Are we all together?

Here come the supporting statements.

Beyond the “getting it” stage, there are more parallels: some poetic by nature, others brutally physical and mortally wounding.

Jazz grew up and out in its own culture of improvisation and acceptance. Improvisation by necessity at the outset, and not merely a musical improvisation – playing the instruments, the methods, and the clubs available to these musical iconoclasts; acceptance not as a doctrine, but because the new form was somewhat of a catch-all and in any formative years there is little desire to thin the herd (it’s not a herd yet).

Today’s roller derby grew out of its own culture of improvisation and acceptance. Again improvisation based on availability and necessity – gear, facilities and players – in any given locale.

Acceptance of size, skill and social acumen (or lack thereof) was a hallmark of early leagues proud of this non-discriminatory ideal.

Both are an amalgam of previously existing external forces, blended just so by the hands of the participants over time: African rhythms, European structure, gospel and blues; speed skating, football, hockey and oval track based motor-sports (sans motors).

Somehow I’m hungry for a casserole right now. How about you?

Angst, physical and mental, existential and tangible, manifests

JoeRollerfan.com

Kelly Castro

Kelly Castro

itself, purges itself and redeems the victim and victor through manipulation of music, and/or through triumph of spirit. That is the headiest sentence in this essay. Aren’t you glad it’s behind you?

In essence, both camps morphed from the ooze of rejects, outcasts, non-conformists and rank amateurs. Jazz produced Quincy Jones. Who will roller derby spawn?

Thematically, jazz is a terrifying and brilliant double helix of melancholy and conflict, mathematics at its core, with vaguely marked road signs to point the way, in pencil, half-erased and ready for updating by the next pilot. Roller derby, in its natural state, is brilliant and conflicted, marked in two-minute increments of terror, melancholy and strategy, with one road sign, pointing left for the foreseeable future. Both are like the adage claimed by 98% of local residents of Anywhere, USA: Don’t like the weather/melody/score? Stick around – it’s bound to change.

Go to a roller derby bout for the first time and it seems like fantastic chaos, on and off the track; go to a jazz club or listen to a Blue Note record for the first time and the same is true: bursts of action, appreciation, moments of disappointment, retreat. And adult beverages. Here is a survival guide to help you through either situation: The horn player is your jammer. He/she leads the melody, scores points and demands the most attention from the crowd.

He/she also generally feels the most pressure to perform and may die of a heroin overdose (jazz) or totally freak out on you for no reason at all (derby).

The rhythm section is the pack. They play together, listen to each other and sense where every other player is going and what he/she is going to do. They play rhythm and lead/offense and defense at the same time, so pick one and watch him/her for an entire song/jam at a time to get familiar with his/her style.

JoeRollerfan.com

Kelly Castro

The bass player is your pivot. He/she sets the pace, directs the other players and is the last line of defense. In jazz, this might mean closing the tab at the end of the night, or getting paid. In roller derby it can mean taking the heat for sucking or losing points to the opposing team. Bass players generally blame the horns for the sucking part.

The piano player is your head ref. He/she knows more about music/the game than anyone else on the track and can’t wait to tell you after the show/bout. He/she calls out players when missed cues/penalties are committed. Look for the black and white stripes/keys.

The guy who wrote the liner notes is your announcer. He/she is a smarty-pants who doesn’t have the balls or talent to be playing, or has at birth been dealt the wrong gender or skill set.

Perhaps there is a history of bad luck or injury, which he/she will point out repeatedly in the midst of some knowledgeable patter, written and/or spoken.

The audience is the audience. They will in turn cheer the competent, encourage the novice, and jeer interlopers.

And finally, unlike every other musical style and sport known to mankind, which can easily be summed up in one sentence (“Baseball is a game played by millionaires.” “Reggae is an islandstyle of music with a well-defined code of ambition among its devotees.”), jazz and roller derby generally require a minimum of three compound sentences to accurately describe. And even then, heads are scratched.

In summary, the thematic parallels between roller derby and jazz are unambiguous and unmistakable, once one takes the time to roll back the veils of snobbery. Roller derby is a family-friendly amusement for a Saturday night. Jazz is easy to spell and fun to say.

Derek P. Opdyke

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 43

Derek P. Opdyke

feature

returning after pregnancy S H A M R O C K N . R O L L E R , S A N TA C R U Z D E R B Y G I R L S

It’s referred to as the nine-month injury that most say you never come back from. But if you do come back, everyone can agree that things are never the same.

Most of the women that I spoke to about their maternity leave, myself included, stayed very connected with their league. Either serving on the Board of Directors, acting as the Interleague Liaison, or coaching their teams. This connection to your league maintains a bond to your teammates and keeps your mental game fresh, making the transition back onto the track that much easier.

My journey returning back to the derby world after having my second baby has at times been everything I expected and at other times has caught me totally off guard. I started playing derby in 2007 with the former Santa Cruz Rollergirls (we are now the Santa Cruz Derby Girls). At that time, my first-born was about 2.5 years old.

My son was my life. Derby gave me something I was missing, something just for me... a way to escape the troubles in my life and to take care of me. Because my time had been so focused on taking care of my son, I had never really lost all of my “baby” weight, so playing derby with the after baby body was something that Doug Yoho wasn’t new to me, it was always my experience. A lot of women have their first child after they have already started their derby career, so their experience returning to derby is a different journey in some ways and completely the same in others.

The general rule is that you wait six weeks before starting any physical activity after childbirth. After my second child was born, I was back skating within five weeks. Others don’t even wait that long. D-Bomb from the Oly Rollers was practicing three weeks after she gave birth and competed at Championships one month after. Although she was back competing at a high level very soon after her daughter was born, she did feel the change of her body coming back from maternity leave. “Physically my body has 44 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

changed so much. My weight is in different places, which has caused my balance to be off. I have yet to get back into pre-baby shape, so my endurance is lacking,” she says.

D-Bomb’s sister, Blond An’ Bitchen, had a similar experience, “It throws off your balance a lot and you just don’t feel right when making moves that you once had no issues doing. It’s almost like you have to relearn your body and what you can do and also trying to get the cardio up. It’s not a fun deal at all,” she says. She, too, returned to the track early, just four weeks after her son was born via c-section. She relates this story of how, “I couldn’t practice because of complications in child birth. My surgery wound from the c-section still wasn’t closed. We actually had to stuff the wound with a type of gauze and then ace bandage it all the way around me.”

Most returning derby moms struggle the most with gaining back their endurance. No matter how much you worked out during your pregnancy or how good of shape you were in prior to having a baby, your body just struggles to return to that same level of endurance. You have to work harder than everyone else to get it back and you just don’t have the time that you once did to put in the extra hours at the gym to cross-train when off the track.

And still months after giving birth, even if you have lost the weight, your hormones are still playing tricks on you. It takes time to get to where you want to be and it’s only through patience, determination and hard work that you are going to get there.

Physicality aside, there’s the emotional aspect of leaving your child(ren) at home for the many requirements of being on the travel team of your league. Between practices, bouts, after-parties, travel games, tournaments and then all of the other events your league may plan, there are times where it can feel burdensome; it can weigh heavily on your family being gone so often. Bringing my children to practice is not really an option,

there’s no one to watch them and they are too young to take care of themselves, so it falls to my husband and family to take care of them while I’m away.

D-Bomb has a different situation, “I bring my daughter to practice with me and it’s very hard to concentrate with her sitting on the side. I lose all focus if I hear her crying,” she says.

We all do what we have to do to play. I use the four to six hours a week away at practice to throw myself into it as much as I can. This is even truer when I’m traveling with my team.

Although my daughter is still breastfeeding and I have to pump when I’m traveling, I remind myself that this is my time, a time for me to be with my closest friends, have fun and play derby.

I return home refreshed, excited to see my family and slip right back into mommy mode.

The biggest internal struggle I experience is between being home with my children and bonding with my team off the track.

There are times when I feel like I’m missing out on all the fun because I need to go home to be with my children. You have to plan your time so precisely and have to make decisions as to what you are going to attend and what you’re going to miss. And with all the commitments you already make with your league, you can only commit so much time bonding with your team outside of practices and bouts, but we all know how crucial this is. Building a trusting relationship with your teammates only makes you a stronger and more cohesive group, so you have to put the time in off the track for your teammates. I always feel guilty telling my husband I’m going to spend another night away

from the family to “hang out” with my team. He always understands though and appreciates what is needed for me to be successful in this journey I am on. I think all derby moms know how important it is for their family to support them and their love for the game. And as moms, we need to continuously remind ourselves that our need to be our own person is a crucial aspect of being a good mother to our kids.

What I have loved most about returning to derby is the support within the league I receive for my family. The community of derby is so empowering and the bonds that are formed between leaguemates and their families create such a wonderful support network. The love my leaguemates show my children is palpable and I always know I can count on them as part of my extended family.

D-Bomb feels the same way about her league. “Oly is a very kid-friendly league, which makes it easy to get all of my responsibilities done within the league while I have my baby in my arms.”

And Ima Blowbya, who skates for Angel City Derby Girls, feels the derby love too, “Both of my boys are always with me at bouts so it’s a family affair while my husband is coaching or reffing,” she says.

Whether you are a mom who wants to play derby, or a mom who is playing derby and wants to have another child, or a woman who is following her love for derby but wants to have children, there is a place for you in the derby world. A place for you to be you, to take care of your body, your desires to be your own person and a community for your children to grow amongst a loving group of strong men and women.

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 45

feature

an end to the term “merby” R O G E R " R O G Z I L L A " H A R K AV Y, G A R D E N S TAT E R O L L E R G I R L S

“Oh, come on, ‘merby?’”

That was the knee-jerk reaction when I received the preview email for fiveonfive #11, but in the spirit of not judging books by their covers, I waited to see the article itself and give it a fair shake. To me, the term “merby” was something I considered derisive (along with “dangler derby,” “broller derby,” etc., ad nauseum) and I was hoping that it was just used in the preview email and not in the actual magazine.

Unfortunately, the article disappointed, partly because of the repeated use of the word to describe men’s roller derby (despite acknowledging the controversy about using it), but it also misrepresented the nature and impact of men’s derby. First, though, a little bit of context to let you know where I’m coming from.

From my perspective, modern derby has always been a two-gender sport.

Like most people, the introduction to derby was through friends, and in my case they were Bazooka Joe and Pink Panzer, founders of Pioneer Valley Roller Derby in Northampton, Massachusetts.

They were the first league to include both men and women as part of a single organization that played by WFTDA rules, and the home of the first men’s flat track team ever.

In the spring of 2007 they told me the league was traveling to my home state of New Jersey, where the women’s team would take on the Hub City Hellrazors and the men would play the New York Shock Exchange. Not only was my mind blown by the experience of modern

46 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

derby up close and personal, but I also got to witness the first full-length men’s bout in modern derby history. Needless to say I was hooked, and as time went on, I made the jump from spectator to volunteer, participating with my local leagues and delving deeper into modern derby.

As I went forth into this brave new world, I discovered that men’s derby was a rare event compared to the women’s game. I lived in an area of the country that contained the four Men’s Derby Coalition leagues and new teams were getting off the ground, but unfortunately, bouts like the double-header that acquainted me with derby were rare.

It was partly because in those early days, the men’s teams had difficulties fielding and scheduling full-strength rosters throughout the season, but I also learned that there was a real, tangible resistance to men playing what many women felt should be their sport exclusively. Much of what I heard about was passive, simple avoidance by leagues that wanted nothing to do with hosting a men’s game, but sometimes it got a little personal. Joe and Panzer even told me about occasional hate mail they received.

I could understand how in a landscape of predominantly female leagues that the few men’s teams would garner some sort of extra attention, but it seemed strange that at a time when the sport was trying to get some sort of serious recognition from the world, elements within the derby community were doing their best to dismiss the

men’s teams. Marginalizing them with silly names was one way they did this.

A lot of these terms made the rounds among participants and audiences alike, but I had to wonder why these same people would take offense when women’s derby was put down by outsiders.

That was four years ago, and things have certainly improved since then, because over time, men’s teams have grown and gotten more exposure. The old MDC is now the Men’s Roller Derby Association, contains over ten leagues across America, and it probably won’t be long before it crosses the international divide. In 2010, Juliana Gonzales a.k.a. Bloody Mary, the executive director of WFTDA, encouraged the further development of MRDA and the organization was authorized to create their own version of the WFTDA ruleset with gender-neutral pronouns.

MRDA now has a representative board of directors, their own ranking system, and the Spring Roll event which took place May 21 in Fort Wayne, Indiana, featured every member league in tournament play. Pioneer Valley’s Dirty Dozen will also be taking on the New York Shock Exchange once again in a full-length bout at ECE in Pennsylvania.

MRDA members have also been making themselves more visible in the WFTDA world, as well. At the 2010 East Region Playoffs, I watched both Virginia Slim of Harm City Homicide coach Charm City and The Rev of Pioneer Valley coaching Montreal.

Men’s derby will soon be getting

some more exposure in the form of “This Is How I Roll,” a documentary about the New York Shock Exchange by filmmakers and derby players Kat Vecchio and Joe Mihalchick, who filmed NYSE and other teams for over two years, exploring the challenges they faced, including gender bias.

So by now, most women playing the sport have at least heard of men’s flat track derby. Most of them start their relationship with the sport at least aware of the fact that men are playing it somewhere, even if it isn’t near them.

Many players have had first-hand experience either watching men’s derby or have benefitted from cooperation with a men’s league. As a result, most of the serious opposition has largely dissipated.

In light of this, to see the “Merby” article in the official WFTDA magazine was disappointing at a time when the association is fostering a spirit of cooperation with MRDA. Terminology aside, it focuses on the differences, when the rules of the game being played are exactly the same. It gives people who haven’t seen men’s derby a fairly dim preview of what they should expect.

While the author may believe that “male teams are way less experienced or established than female teams,” this may be his perspective from the UK but it does not speak for all men’s teams.

I can say that based on personal experience with multiple MRDA leagues as an official and an announcer, the men practice, study and play the game just

as hard as any of the women’s leagues I’ve ever worked with.

If you crack open your copy of issue #11 you’ll see that, ironically, the article that follows “Merby” is called “Derby Is a Sport,” giving tips on how to get across to people that what we’re doing is a serious endeavor. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that everyone reading this wants to move roller derby off of the entertainment page and into the sports section. The first step will be to end the use of silly names like “merby” for the sport when certain people play it. The fact that both genders are playing only seems to be a big deal in the world of roller derby, not to anyone else. It’s 2011 and we need to stop doing this. The future is waiting.

Joe Schwartz, JoeRollerfan.com

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 47

feature

the blonde bomber A . J. E P S T E I N

Driving from Chicago to the next game, the rain poured.

Peoria... Springfield... Gary... ribbons of highways. It’s a lonesome road to the next bout for Joan Weston and her constant companion, Malia, a little mutt of a pooch.

Weston, also known as “The Blonde Bomber,” is one of the most famous personalities from the original roller derby.

At every stop, waiters, short-order cooks, dishwashers, waitresses and diners ask for Weston’s autograph. She always complied, smiling. In the parking lot, her food would get cold because she was signing napkins, shirts and grease-stained menus. Her fame got in the way, on and off the track. the bomber has to watch her back Everyone on the track is gunning for her, trying to grab notoriety by clobbering the Bomber. “The Blonde Bomber,” “The Golden Girl of the Banked Track,” “Viking Princess,” “The Blonde Amazon”... that’s a lot of personalities for one 5’ 10”, 165 pound gal to inhabit. It’s hard work when your name alone fills an entire 20,000-seat stadium. That’s who Weston was for over 25 years, and she enjoyed her superstardom.

“Do you know what it’s like to bring 20,000 people to their feet – to make them hate or love you? That’s where it’s at.

Power!” she says.

Before derby, Weston thought about being a nun. She played softball and surfed, and even tried her hand at dog breeding. Basically, she enjoyed anything that was competitive. She loved hockey and fumed when roller derby was compared to wrestling. She thought hockey was a better comparison.

In the 1950s, a young, athletic woman had few career opportunities. Weston saw roller derby on TV and found her calling. She was fourteen when she started sneaking into the unguarded Rose Bowl derby track in L.A. to practice. She lied about her age in order to skate and quickly became a favorite member of the Los Angeles Braves and later, in 1956, captain of the San Francisco Bay Bombers.

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the lights began to dim Over dinner, Weston suggested that we write a book about her life.

Rumors were flying that roller derby was dying or being sold. Weston did not want to be forgotten. We developed an interesting and complicated friendship. Weston needed me to document her – our friendship was the perfect codependency. She taught me to skate, allowing me to photograph her as a participant rather than a spectator. My photos were about HER as an athlete, hero and tough dame.

Weston was a feminist but the word was new to her. Feminism made her nervous because it was too close to a political statement, which was another boundary of hers. Weston was a Republican and did some campaigning.

I think for Nixon, but she was elusive in the details. flat track speculation Weston would have really dug the flat trackers. She would have admired their courage and creativity in giving life back to a sport she invested her life to. The new derby with women in charge would have put a huge smile on her face.

What really pissed off Weston was that the MEN were in control back then.

Men started the games and finished the games, scoring all the winning points. Men even

photos by A.J. Epstein

made 30% more than the women. Everyone knew the “weaker sex� was the draw. They just were not valued as much.

The Blonde Bomber was voted Roller Derby Queen four times, received the Most Valuable Player award in 1968 and was inducted into the National Roller Derby Hall of Fame.

As time faded, in a world before email and Facebook, roller derby and its superstars became a distant memory. Weston died in 1997 and never got to see the resurgence of the sport.

Thanks to the women of the flat track, Weston and her amazing accomplishments can be rediscovered for a new generation.

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 49

feature

rollercon 2011 K A L I K AT T, S A N D I E G O D E R B Y D O L L S

For the 7th year in a row, the roller derby community is converging upon the Las Vegas desert to train, skate, network and party – basically to revel in the awesomeness of what woman’s do-it-yourself roller derby has become – at RollerCon 2011. There is no better event for this celebration, with RollerCon herself being the poster child for how to put on a do-it-yourself event that gets better and better every year.

2011 is the year RollerCon has reached its fullest potential yet with $69 hotel rooms, four air-conditioned tracks, the training classes, the challenges, the scrimmages, the seminars, the parties, the social events, restaurants, bars and a 24-hour pool, all in one place, at The Riviera. This means we will all be underneath one roof – for everything – all week long.

Get ready to get close with over 1500 of your closest friends!

May 18, 2011 RollerCon.net reported total ticket sales to be 1,433 skaters from 12 countries (already really close to 2010’s final rough attendance count of 1,591 skaters).

This means no more rushing to get to the shuttle on time to make the morning yoga class at the Sports Center, or getting stuck on a broken down shuttle bus on Las Vegas Boulevard in 115 degree weather (this happened to me at my first RollerCon in ‘09), or running back and forth from Hooters to the Tropicana all night, or bumming rides to get to the next event because you missed the shuttle. No, this year you can roll out of bed in your pjs and

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saunter over to 10am yoga with your coffee and slippers.

The activities begin early Wednesday

and a dinner time bout at 7pm (5:30pm on Sunday). Long time rivals Team Sexy and Team Awesome will rematch at Friday’s

morning and continue daily with training, scrimmages, challenges and bouts from 9am to 11pm ending, appropriately, Sunday night with open scrimmages after the last challenge bout ends.

Some of the training and seminar classes this year include Lead Follow or Get out of the way; Pivot Say WHAT?; Speed and Stride, Five Fast Steps; Silent But Deadly; Say My Name, B**ch; First Year Set Up and Organization; Gear Anatomy; Advance Biz for Established Leagues; Putting the O in NSO; and Announcing 101 – all taught by some your favorite roller derby coaches, including but not limited to Trish the Dish, Suzy Hotrod, Isabelle Ringer, Razorslut, Atomatrix, Pitchit, Ivanna S. Pankin’ and Smarty Pants.

The 30 minute challenge bouts will take place in concurrence with the training and seminar classes on different tracks. Some of the challenge games already registered include Sugar and Spice vs. Dogs Chasing Tail, Knuckles vs. High Fives, Chuck Norris vs. Walker Texas Rangers, Squares vs.

lunchtime bout, while the Denver Roller Dolls Mile High Club (currently ranked 3rd in the West by WFTDA and 4th in the nation

by DNN) will face the Bay Area Derby Girls BAD All Stars (currently ranked 4th in the West by WFTDA and 6th in the nation by DNN) during Saturday’s dinnertime bout.

Some of the challenge bouts lucky enough to grab full-length lunchtime or dinnertime bouts include Nerds vs. Jocks, Boones Farm Society vs. Whiskey Rebellion, Rap vs. Rock, Team Vagine vs. Caulksuckers, and Over the Shoulder Boulder Holders vs. The Itty Bitty Titty Committee.

Other events to keep an eye out for are the Riedell Meet and Greet 80s party Thursday night at the top of the Riv, the Black and Blue Ball Friday night at the Riviera pool and The Derby Wedding Saturday night, also at the top of the Riv. In between activities, skaters and derby roadies will be chilling at the 24-hour pool or hanging out at the Queen Elizabeth Pub. After dusk the pool will be the laid-back

Floozies, Derbalife vs. Herb for Life, F*CK YR FACE vs. Badass and Science vs. Art. Each day there will also be two full length bouts – a lunchtime bout at noon

place to hang out, so other guests are not too disturbed, while the Pub will be the place to get rowdy and sing karaoke from Midnight until 4am.

D

Derek Lang (bagelhot.com)

Make sure you take time to socialize with fellow skaters at the pool or the pub.

While you can read Ivanna S. Pankin’s personal written account of the history of RollerCon at RollerCon.net yourself, she makes it clear that when herself, KC Bomber of the L.A. Derby Dolls, and Chola of the Lonestar Rollergirls first thought of RollerCon in the Winter of 2004, the idea was to plan a weekend in Vegas for “some fun, some drinks, some skating.” Note that fun was at the top of the list.

The first RollerCon was in 2005 and consisted of three nights of bands at the Double Down Saloon, a pool party, a derby wedding in the Double Down parking lot, a scavenger hunt, a raffle to benefit Planned Parenthood and the first High Noon scrimmage outdoors on Fremont Street.

By 2006 RollerCon was already drawing several hundred skaters, including International skaters from Canada and London, which blew everyone away because just a year ago there were not that many skaters in existence. RollerCon 2006 was stretched to ten days and nightly scrimmages were added.

In 2007, RollerCon was only five days, after ten days had proved to be too long.

Seminars were added this year to meet the needs of the growing number of new leagues and shuttle busses were added to cart everyone around.

In 2008, to address the growing number of skaters and the fact that many events sold out in 2007, the size of venue spaces were doubled and tripled – but more room was still needed. So in 2009 most of the skating was moved indoors to the Sports Center (with some challenges still at Fremont Street) to allow for two tracks of training side by side. The Sports Center was immediately at its limit with skaters the first year RollerCon moved there.

RollerCon left the infamous Imperial Palace in 2010 (home to RollerCon hotel rooms since 2007) to get rooms closer to the Sports Center at the Tropicana, with overflow next door at Hooters. The rooms at both hotels sold out. At the Sports Center, training classes were again maxed out with skaters, frustrating some skaters who couldn’t get in classes or felt the classes they did get in were overcrowded.

The RollerCon staff makes RollerCon better each year by proactively taking problems from the previous year and turning them into better opportunities for the next year. So in 2011 there are four tracks all in one spot. Hopefully this can accommodate the mad rush of fiending skaters that can’t seem to get enough roller derby, ever.

The planners of RollerCon are do-ityourself queens with an army of volunteers at their side. This year over 366 volunteers

have already signed up to help with things such as announcing, clean up crew, coaches, registration, inventory, photo, video, media, track set up and tear down, EMT’s, and Planning and Management.

Of the total number of skaters attending, so far 222 identified as males. 116 of the 366 volunteers also identified as male; this means more than half the male skaters attending RollerCon are doing so as a volunteer!

The countless volunteers help keep the price of the MVP skater pass low, dropping from $250.21 in 2009, to $196.83 in 2010, to $98 during the Earlybird special in 2011. They also helped get the average estimated wait time for registration down from five hours in 2009 to twenty minutes in 2010.

The 2011 MVP passes are sold out, but skater passes are still available that allow access to off-skates classes, scrimmages, and all other events so you can still revel in the awesomeness – you just won’t be able to access the on-skate training classes.

If you do have your MVP pass we will see you on the track early Wednesday morning for training!

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 51

international

anarchy in the UK DA N N Y “ J AY P E G G ” B O U R N E , S O U T H E R N D I S C O M F O RT R O L L E R D E R B Y

As Johnny Rotten famously sang, “Anarchy for the UK, it’s coming sometime.” Well, there was no maybe about it.

On April 9 and 10, 2011, Anarchy came to the UK. It would be no exaggeration to say that Anarchy in the UK was a big deal. It was the first WFTDA sanctioned multi-day event outside of North America and the first intercontinental tournament ever with teams from Canada (Montreal’s New Skids on the Block) and the U.S. (Pittsburgh’s Steel Hurtin’ and Baltimore’s Charm City All Stars) joining hosts The London Rollergirls’ London Brawling for a two day, six game skate frenzy at London’s prestigious Excel Arena.

But Anarchy in the UK was more than just an event.

For the LRG it was a chance to show that they could compete at the highest level and deserved their spot in the DNN rankings, which had been the cause of much speculation as their last bout against American opposition had been almost a year ago on their east coast tour. For the WFTDA it was a chance to evaluate the progress of a European team that had come through their apprentice scheme, much like Montreal had done previously. And for roller derby in general, it was a chance for Europe in general, and the LRG in particular, to show to the rest of the derby world that it could put on an event at the very highest level.

So, no pressure then.

One thing was sure, the travelling teams were all taking this very seriously, as each of them sent their very strongest teams, which meant that England got to see the likes of Ewan Wotarmy, I M Pain, Hurricane Heather, Joy Collision, ‘Snot Rocket Science, Dolly Rocket and Iron Wench all competing.

It also meant that London Brawling would get a proper taste of just what to expect if it gets a much-hoped-for invite to Eastern Regionals later this year.

And it wasn’t just the top skaters. Reffing alongside Duncan Disorderly were such luminaries as Judge Knott, Hambone and Miss Trial, whilst manning the DNN technical area were seen the ever-present Justice Feelgood Marshall, Mercy Less, Sarah Hipel (and, for added colour and craziness, Swede Hurt and Mad Maloo), all of whom worked tirelessly over the weekend to make sure that every aspect of the event ran without a hitch.

52 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

So, knowing that there were top notch skaters, refs, NSOs, announcers and volunteer crew left just one variable – the fans. All the organization and planning in the world would be of no use if no one came to the show. A lot of money had been sunk into Anarchy and a lot of sleepless nights were had wondering whether there would be a return on that outlay.

They needn’t have worried. By midday, the queue was over 200 yards long and, when the doors opened, the fans literally sprinted into the arena, a veritable flood of humanity, wearing a myriad of different league shirts, swamping the VIP beanbag seat area (a brilliant idea) all the way across to the ‘suicide’ floor seating. All the vendor stalls looked busy, with Fast Girl Skates, Billy’s, Skate Attack and obviously the LRG merch stand being particularly popular. The venue was full on the Saturday and, come Sunday afternoon, was veritably seething with increasingly hoarse fans.

There’s little need to go over the matches (if you weren’t there, you saw them all on DNN, right? Thought so).

Despite not managing a win over the weekend, London Brawling showed that they could go toe to toe with the more established leagues, putting up three creditable performances, matching Montreal and Charm point for point for long periods of the games and coming close to upsetting Steel before fading in the final few minutes. London Brawling can hold its head high and definitely has a solid base on which to build for future WFTDA events. Their future is bright (indeed almost as bright as Iron Wench’s pants) and, in MVP Vagablonde, have a true international star. Montreal instantly became fan favourites with their uproarious skate outs and headache-inducing neon boutfits, combined with fierceness of announcer Plastik Patrik, showing they had substance as well as style on the track with Li’L Mama standing out both for her pack work and jamming skill. Indeed, their joie de vivre followed them everywhere, whether it be Smack Daddy jumping her teammates on the track between matches or simply turning up the after party, doing a conga line.

Steel City was, perhaps, the surprise team of the event, upsetting Montreal in a close and very hard-fought game and holding Charm for over an hour before losing out in the final four jams. Steel Hurtin’ lived up to their name, both giving

photos by Danny “Jay Pegg” Bourne

and receiving some thunderous hits, mainly courtesy of Bonecrusher. Hurricane Heather lived up to her name, showing she had blistering pace and MVP ‘Snot Rocket Science being more than a handful for all the teams.

Charm went undefeated in their three bouts, but were certainly pushed hard in all their games. Their tight pack work and amazing recycling often stymied the other teams with MVP Joy Collision and the ever-awesome Dolly Rocket being massive on the track, but ably supported by the at times gravity defying C2B2 and the wonderfully named O’Chit and Holden Grudges midriff of doom which got many an admiring comment.

The audience was truly appreciative of all the teams’ efforts and skills, being rowdy and raucous at all times, without a boo being heard – even if the home team was on the wrong end of a score in any given jam. But they also showed their knowledge of the game, cheering every jam kill and block dodging juke.

Indeed the crowd raised the roof when Brawling hit a 20-0 jam against Charm, despite being 100 points down and went absolutely bonkers when Vagablonde put in a 30-0 power jam against Steel to tie the game up.

In one sense, though, and apologies for the horrendous cliché, it can be said that the real winner was roller derby itself.

Anarchy in the UK was proof writ large that roller derby is now a truly international sport and that the literally tens of thousands of woman hours of hard work, blood, sweat and tears put into organizing, promoting and running it was worth it.

The feedback was overwhelmingly positive and ticked lots of boxes in the WFTDA win column.

London Rollergirls, take a bow, you were as awesome as the New Skids skate out routines. And that is Very. Awesome.

Indeed.

London

57

London

126

Montreal

137

Charm City

218

Charm City

186

Charm City

207

Steel City

122

Montreal

85

Steel City

144

London

79

Montreal

121

Steel City

119

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 53

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art and media

down and derby book M E R C Y L E S S , H AV E D E R B Y W I L L T R AV E L

Alex “Axles of Evil” Cohen and Jennifer “Kasey Bomber” Barbee are two members of a special sorority of women in modern roller derby: those who’ve been involved since before 2004. Unless you were involved in Austin between the years 2001-2003, this is as O.G. as it gets. We are fortunate as a community that some of these veterans of the modern incarnation of our sport are still around and engaged, and willing to tell our story.

Co-author Alex Cohen says, “After working on ‘Whip It!,’ we both realized that even though the sport of modern derby was relatively new, it was evolving so quickly and there was no real history being kept. We felt it was important to chronicle the history.

We also wanted to create a book that would help non-derby people understand the sport and the culture.

And also a guidebook that could help fresh meat better understand this brave, new world.”

In the very small genre of derby literary ventures, there has been little until now that has impressed me. With the exception of two very beautiful coffee table books of roller derby photography, books written on the subject have promised us a lot on the inside and back covers, but have fallen short of actually delivering anything I found compelling. It didn’t stop me from buying all of them. But what I have always wanted from our hugely interesting, bright and energetic community of people is the written equivalent of, say, an Axle Adams photo, or a Cory Oberndorfer painting – something that really captures the spirit and vibrancy of who we are. In “Down and Derby” I finally got a piece of what I was looking for.

Back in the 2004-2006 era of roller derby, pre-DNN or fiveonfive, most of our shared history was an oral history passed from skater to skater and found in bits and pieces on the internet. Those of us who were obsessed searched high and low for pieces of that puzzle, and collected and shared what we found. We wanted to know our history, what we had in common with other leagues and what set us apart, who the outstanding skaters outside our region were, how others were running their businesses, how to fix our own skates, what gear was best, and so much more. The derby world, under 100 leagues back then, has grown to such a size that digesting all that knowledge would be nearly impossible today. But Axles and Kasey set out to tackle that ambitious task.

When reading Down and Derby, I expected the history section to be stories I knew by heart. I had spent hours researching and memorizing these stories to recite to the press in my work doing PR for my own leagues and on a national level. I was excited to read a more in-depth history of the beginnings of our sport, including things I had never heard or read before. Some of what I learned was truly inspiring. Barbee and Cohen reveal these stories in a way that demonstrates that the spirit, irreverence and inclusiveness of the modern sport was there at its inception as far back as the 1930s. Alex Cohen describes this being an interesting part of the journey of writing the book, “the roots of the sport go back even earlier than I had thought.”

The book itself is the print version of what I remember spending hours on the internet looking for in my quest for more derby

“We felt it was important to chronicle the history.

We also wanted to create a book that would help non-derby people understand the sport and the culture.”

The book itself is the print version of what I remember spending hours on the internet looking for in my quest for more derby knowledge. It covers the complete evolution of the sport (including different rulesets) in all its diverse forms, from old school to televised banked track derby, to modern flat, banked, women’s, men’s and junior derby.

Down and Derby covers game play, skaters’ stories, our league cultures, support staff roles, and more.

56 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com

knowledge. It covers the complete evolution of the sport (including different rulesets) in all its diverse forms, from old school to televised banked track derby, to modern flat, banked, women’s, men’s and junior derby. Down and Derby covers game play, skaters’ stories, our league cultures, support staff roles, and more.

When asked about the difference between the beginning of her derby career, and the modern sport as Barbee and Cohen researched the book, Cohen reflects on our early, DIY beginnings.

“In the first six months, we really had no idea what derby was about. I remember sitting on a rooftop in Chinatown with our then coach and my laptop coming up with the rule sets for LADD. I think it was all of three pages... now it's the length of a Tolstoy book! Much about the spirit of the sport remains the same I think... the confidence it instills in women, the independent spirit.”

Axles and Kasey highlight the hallmarks in a skater’s career – recognizing if derby is for you, preparing for tryouts, understanding what you’re committing to, advice for your spouse to cope with your new habit and for skaters on dating. Derby rookies can learn about jobs on a league, transferring leagues, retirement, and injury. There are personal stories from a diverse crosssection of derby heroes from every corner of the sport, both funny and enlightening.

I asked Axles what the most unexpected thing she and Kasey encountered while writing the book was. She described the shock of their growing understanding of exactly how big the modern derby world has grown to be.

“Shortly after it came out, we were at Rollercon. A gal came up to us introducing herself as the founder of a new league... in BELGIUM! She was inspired by ‘Whip It!’ and it is so rewarding and amazing seeing how far and wide this sport has grown.”

The book is thoughtful, inclusive, and a compelling read. Once I started reading it, I did not put it down until I was finished.

I have gone back and referred to the book several times since.

As a veteran of the sport, and someone involved in the business of derby, this is definitely part of my growing derby resource library.

The book is no less important to people newer to the sport. The uninitiated will come away from Down and Derby not only informed, but with a real sense of who we are, and why this sport is so special to so many of us.

Part of the success of this book is the collaborative process that went into writing it.

Axles and Kasey travelled all over the country to talk to the community, and took suggestions for content from all over the world for months. The finished product shows that they are great listeners and skilled craftspeople at weaving diverse stories into a narrative. Some of the postpublication feedback they have received includes what various people think is missing. In true derby fashion (having an idea = you just volunteered to do it), they encourage others to keep adding to the growing body of work about our sport.

“There are some folks who were looking for aspects of derby that aren't in our book... specific rulesets for certain leagues, extensive training drills, how to run your own league. I'm sorry we weren't able to get to EVERYTHING! But hey – if there's info you think is missing, I highly encourage folks to publish their own derby tome. We'd love to see the library of derby books grow!”

In summary, I feel that Barbee and Cohen took on a near impossible challenge in trying to create this compendium of everything a new skater, veteran skater or civilian might want to know about the sport. They accomplished the most thorough and valuable effort to date, in my somewhat critical opinion. There are a few small fact checking mistakes like mislabeled skaters in photos here and there. But before you criticize, I ask you to look at the huge ground covered by this compendium, and think about how difficult it might have been to fact check this book on deadline. (I mention this only because there is no ego like a derby ego, and those who feel slighted by mistakes have been publicly vocal about it.)

As I mentioned before, most of us will buy anything derby in any form, to support our community or to complete our collections of everything derby. Buy this book on its merits – it sets the standard for those to come, and for that, Axles of Evil and Kasey Bomber, I am so grateful!

The book is thoughtful, inclusive, and a compelling read. Once I started reading it, I did not put it down until I was finished. I have gone back and referred to the book several times since.

fiveonfivemag.com | Summer 2011 | 57

art and media

dorothy’s derby chronicles U N D E RTA K E R ’ S DA U G H T E R , R O C K Y M O U N TA I N R O L L E R G I R L S

The Derby-licious Adventures of Girls Who Like to Hit... The Track The first, fictional, roller derby book series for tweens “I feel that roller derby has filled a hole in me.

It gives me something to always look forward to, and goals to work toward. I think that derby has made me a stronger, more courageous, and determined person than I was before.”

Bubble Vicious, Age 15 Rocky Mountain Rollerpunks Does this sound familiar?

Whether you are 15 or 45 years old, playing roller derby brings a new level of inner and outer strength, confidence and determination to every skater.

More than a physical challenge, the all female sport engenders an atmosphere that motivates every person to be stronger, fitter, to trust in self and to pursue dreams. More than that, there is an individuality and authenticity among the skaters who play roller derby. All of these positive attributes and messages that roller derby provides for women and girls who play it inspired us to write a book for tween girls that uses roller derby as a back drop and as a tool to encourage the same for all young girls. first-ever roller derby book for tweens Where every body type, personality and socioeconomic level is represented, roller derby is the ideal platform for teaching teamwork, body image confidence, openness and the value of hard work to tweens; this is exactly why “Dorothy’s Derby Chronicles, Girls Who Like to Hit the Track,” was created.

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To teach girls, ages 9-14 that being yourself and possessing passion for a sport builds confidence. And, confidence pays off; it attracts true friends, an important factor for any tween and, let’s face it, women at any age.

Dorothy’s Derby Chronicles is about a crew of mismatched girls who like to hit – hit the books, hit their goals and hit the track. They come together through a love for roller skating and roller derby.

They reinvent themselves, as they buck the traditions and stereotypes of typical middle school students.

Their quest is to make roller derby a school sport for girls, leaping over many obstacles in the process.

Roller derby is the back drop to this story about a fun-loving, whacky girl, Dorothy Moore, who moves to a new town and decides to start a roller derby league at her school, much to the chagrin of her soon-tobe nemesis, “Prisss-cilla.” Dorothy is a redheaded ball of enthusiastic contradictions who can’t seem to keep her mouth shut or herself upright. Lucille Ball has nothing on her: Dorothy is kind, courageous and clumsy, all wrapped up in an excitable redheaded package. And of course, she’s not alone; her pals Jade, Alex, Gigi, and Max round out the storyline with their own quirky personalities.

A graphic novel hybrid, with illustrations that pack a punch, the fast-paced series marries humor and teen angst, along with the edge and adventure of roller derby, to teach valuable lessons about leadership, strength and determination. dorothy’s blog The timing is right for a roller derby book for tweens, as junior roller derby leagues across the country reach well into the hundreds. The Rocky Mountain Rollergirls alone accepted 60 plus skaters to its junior league, the Rocky Mountain Rollerpunks, in just one year. And one of the teams that led the junior derby charge, the Seattle Derby

Brats, today has six home teams, two at each of the three levels.

These girls are the future of roller derby.

The roller derby fever is catching so it is not surprising that publishers have responded favorably to the storyline, illustrations and concept of a roller derby book for tweens. While it’s being reviewed by publishers, fans of Dorothy’s Derby Chronicles can follow the project and the story at dorothysderby.com, where every week Dorothy blogs about her life and shares her story. Visitors to the site can download the first chapter.

A latest addition to the blog is a Rollergirl of the Month column, and our first featured skater will be Bubble Vicious with the Rocky Mountain Rollerpunks. You can check out her inspiring story at dorothysderby.com, and we are taking ideas for other junior Rollergirls of the Month. Make a recommendation at facebook/dorothysderby or email us through the blog. publishing, licensing and merchandising In just two years since Dorothy skated into my and my co-creator’s, Alece Birnbach, life, we now have a publishing and licensing agent on the creative team. Images of the four main characters – Dorothy, Jade, Alex and Gigi – will soon be found on posters and stamps through the project’s first licensing agreements.

T-shirts adorned with characters from the book can be purchased at Wicked Skatewear, wickedskatewear.com. Four publishers have an interest in publishing Dorothy’s Derby Chronicles, and we hope to be able to announce a publication date soon. derby community support From our very first outreach to roller derby leagues over a year ago, the roller derby community has backed Dorothy’s Derby Chronicles every step of the way. We are now building up our Facebook fan page in anticipation of publication and would greatly appreciate if skaters would continue to support the project by becoming a fan on Facebook at facebook.com/dorothysderby and follow us on Twitter

@dorothysderby. You can check out our videos, animated character bumpers and TV appearances at youtube.com/derbychronicles. about the creative team The tween roller derby concept was developed by Undertaker’s Daughter (aka Meghan Dougherty), number D-0-A, of the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls, and skater on the Sugar Kill Gang and Contenders, along with illustrator Alece Birnbach, alecebirnbach.com. When not skating, Undertaker’s Daughter runs a public relations company, Dougherty Relations. Alece Birnbach is a licensed illustrator with more than 100 images licensed on a variety of products sold in major retailers across the country. Also, in partnership with publisher Craft e-Revolution, Undertaker’s Daughter has written a “how-to” on skate maintenance that is available online at crafte-revolution.com. take dorothy derby chronicles out for a spin Below is the prologue from Dorothy’s Derby Chronicles; for more, download the rest of the first chapter at dorothysderby.com. dorothy’s derby chronicles – prologue The cheers from the crowd are deafening. The other jammer is in the penalty box, and it’s just me, my four blockers and the four blockers out to get me. Those girls are two years older than me and six feet tall. I’m a blur, roller skating up fast on the pack. My team has trapped a slower skater, and the pack is at a dead stop. I slow down, wait for it, wait for it, and BAM, power burst forward, juke right, duck left and ping pong through the pack at lightning speed.

More screams from the throngs of fans. I look up and see Mom with her lopsided ghoulish grin. Another burst of speed and again, and again and again I loop the roller derby track, racking up 15 points. Just as I’m about to hit the pack a fourth time, SCREECH, SCREECH, SCREECH, the whistle blows. But then it doesn’t stop.

SCREECH, SCREECH. It gets louder and louder; I fall to the ground clenching my teeth and clutching my ears in searing pain.

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60 | Summer 2011 | fiveonfivemag.com 1. Jammer is missing star. 2.Flag in background is missing. 3. Knee pad is missing tape.

4. Girl on right is missing belt. 5. Girl in front is missing ponytail.

6. Girl on right is missing logo on shirt. 7. Jammer’s shirt is a solid color.

THERE ARE SEVEN DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE PHOTOS – FIND ‘EM!

derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby der by derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby derby coming this summer at

.com

classifieds Want to get rid of that old gear? Need to get the word out about something to the derby community? Searching high and low for something you just can’t find?

Submit your classified text (up to 50 words) FOR FREE to classifieds@fiveonfivemag.com to include in our next issue!

CHECK THIS OUT! Roller Derby Owned and Operated: HellBent makes custom helmets for rollergirls (and boys). Using the same techniques used to make professional NASCAR racing helmets we can create the worlds best customized roller derby helmets. Glossy, sparkly and full of attitude at an affordable price. Get more info at gethellbent.com.

Roller Derby Fundraiser!

Fun, Easy and Profitable Coffee Fundraiser. Your team’s custom label and colorful foil bag is a great way to fundraise and advertise your team! Everyone loves fresh roasted coffee so this is an easy fundraiser. Contact Chuck Olympic Crest Coffee

LeppardLadyFashions.com

Roasters, Inc. For details – chuck@olycrest.com.

from custom leather belts to dog collars and so much more

ROLLING

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STURGIS

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Derby, Derby & More Derby!

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horoscopes P R OV I D E D B Y Y O U R D E R B Y P S Y C H I C , K Y L I E O F BA C K L A S H , D E N V E R R O L L E R D O L L S

GEMINI

S A G I T TA R I U S

May 21-June 20

November 23-December 21

There is no point living life full of regrets. It’s time to make peace with the events of the past, they are done and gone. While there still may be some impending disagreements left over from those events, know that having a clear head will help you stay calm and solve the problem once and for all.

Do you hear that? It’s your outdoor wheels calling!

Warmer weather means it’s time to skate off the funk of winter and get some fresh air deep into those lungs.

Bring some friends with you and do some extra training to help get ready for tournament season.

CANCER June 21-July 22

You’ve been wondering when your life is going to stop being a parade of disappointments and frustration.

The answer is simple – it’s up to you. By trusting your intuition more and the opinion of those around you less, you will be more comfortable with the decisions you make.

LEO July 23-August 22

As a Leo you were born to be a star in everything you do. Some might call you brilliant; others might call you a bit egotistical. Don’t let the naysayers get you down.

That positive can-do attitude will serve you well in the hard, and sometimes awkward, tasks that will soon be placed in your lap.

VIRGO August 23-September 22

Get out from under all the drama by planning an outing with friends and teammates. Talk about work, family, favorite music, current and past loves... anything but derby. It might seem a bit strange at first, but getting to know each other on a more personal level will help with team cohesiveness on the track as well.

CAPRICORN December 22-January 19

Use that resourceful nature of yours to help pave the way for advancement – for yourself, for your team, for your league. Put in some extra hours doing research and come up with new practice drills to help build everyone’s skill level. New drills will also break the boredom of the usual practice.

AQUARIUS January 20-February 19

Expect the unexpected. Keep moving through the tough moments and take help when it’s offered.

Your family and friends know your stress level is high and they want to lend a hand. It may seem like the universe is pushing you past the limit of sanity but if you hang in there you’ll come out the other side wiser and stronger.

PISCES February 20-March 20

You are feeling a bit out of sorts and even more restless than normal. Now might not be the best time to get a new tattoo or new hair-do – the outcome will just make you feel more agitated than you already do. Take a breath and re-find your focus. It’s still there; it has just been crowded out by your indecisive nature.

LIBRA September 23-October 23

If you are still reeling from the 180 degree turn your life just did, don’t beat yourself up about it. For the normally calm and balanced Libra, it could take awhile for the shock to wear off. Once it does you will realize not all changes are bad. In fact, many are just what you needed to get you out of your day-to-day rut and put a real smile back on your face.

SCORPIO

ARIES March 21-April 19

Ah, summer. To some it brings the energy level up, but you have an overwhelming urge to just hibernate inside with the air conditioning going full blast and enjoying a cold drink. Enlist the help of teammates to get your tush moving, even if it means walking to and from your favorite watering hole.

October 24-November 22

TA U R U S

Scorpios are known to be a tad difficult, but you know you are well worth the trouble! Not one to hide emotions you tend to wear your heart on your sleeve more often than not. At times those personality traits cause unease in those around you. However, you know who your true friends are and those are the people who will never fault you for your complex nature.

April 20-May 20

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The more you ignore it, the more the pile of unfinished business will grow. It’s going to take some time so don’t expect to finish it all in one day or even a weekend.

Completing each project, whether it’s organizing your desk or settling a disagreement with a teammate, will bring its own reward. Enjoy each one.