Sheik of the Creek

ROCKLEA KAREE MARINE 1776 Ipswich Road Rocklea P: (07) 3875 1600 E: sales@kareemarine.com.au W: www.kareemarine.com.au

NORTHERN GOLD COAST ONSHORE MARINE Horizon Shores Marina Woongoolba P: (07) 5546 2480 E: onshoremarine@ozemail.com.au W: www.onshoremarine.com.au

EVERTON HILLS HOLT MARINE 25 Queens Road Everton Hills P: (07) 3353 1928 8 E: info@holtmarine.com.au W: www.holtmarine.com.au

CAPALABA MIKES MARINE 9 Smith Street Capalaba P: (07) 3390 3418 E: sales@mikesmarine.com.au W: www.mikesmarine.com.au

SLACKS CREEK AUSTRALIAN MARINE CENTRE 3491 Pacific Highway Slacks Creek P: (07) 3808 7333 E: sales@amcboats.com.au W: www.amcboats.com.au

NOOSAVILLE SUNSHINE COAST MARINE 122 Eumundi Road Noosaville P: (07) 5449 7633 E: sales@sunshinecoastmarine.com.au W: www.sunshinecoastmarine.com.au NORTH ROCKHAMPTON RIFEN BOATS 6 Dooley Street North Rockhampton P: (07) 4927 9150 E: rifen.boats@bigpond.com W: www.rifenboats.com.au

AIRLIE BEACH WHITSUNDAY OUTBOARD CENTRE 17 William Murray Drive Cannonvale P: (07) 4946 7286 E: woc@whitsundayoutboardcentre.com.au W: www.whitsundayoutboardcentre.com.au

CAIRNS AUSSIE MARINE 5 Hannam Street Bungalow P: (07) 4033 8800 E: sales@aussiemarine.com.au W: www. aussiemarine.com.au

KARUMBA JONES MARINE 30 Yappar Street Karumba P: (07) 4745 9159 E: jonglo@bigpond.com W: www.jonesmarine.com.au

IPSWICH IPSWICH MARINE 45 Huxham Street Raceview P: 07 3294 3944 E: enquiries@ipswichmarine.com.au W: www.ipswichmarine.com.au

BRISBANE The Sheik of the Creek

ALBERTON ALBERTON MARINE 39 Johnson Street Alberton P: (03) 5183 2344 F: (03) 5183 2219 W: albertonmarine.com.au BENDIGO BENDIGO MARINE & OUTDOORS 160 Midland Highway Epsom P: (03) 5448 3988 W: bendigomarine.com.au

My life is full of situations where I spend a long time making the very easy look very not easy. Mostly it involves boats and fishing but occasionally it will fall back into what I call ‘normal life’, although whether anything in my life could be called normal is open to frank and honest discussion.

I had the chance to review my modus operandi (method of breaking things) when I went to Mullinses to get some new wire for the clothesline. Of course, a normal person would have measured what was required but not I, cock robin. Instead, I blocked up the shop aisle for around MELBOURNE 15 minutes looking into the MELBOURNE MARINE CENTRE corners of my eyes trying to 393-399 South Gippsland Hwy remember how many wires Dandenong Southand how long each wire was, and how long it was between P: (03) 9703 2003 rows. Thought it through and W: melbournemarine.com.au got the extra-long one because in the past I would have tried MORNINGTON PENINSULA to save coin and bought the MY MARINE shorter one just in case it Cnr Nepean Highway & was long enough, then got Ponderosa Place Dromana P: (03) 5987 0900 W: mymarine.com.au

home and found it wasn’t long enough, then joined some of the old with some of the new and threaded it, then found the knot wouldn’t feed through so undid it...

No, this time I’m prepared mentally, and get the longest hank. About a half a kilometre. But that’s ok, you get that happening sometimes when you plan ahead. The smooth running of the Replace The Clothesline project will justify the extra cost.

So I get home. There are twice as many strings across as I thought but they’re about two thirds the length I guessed so... I don’t know what that means. My head begins to hurt. Not a good sign in my experience. I unwrap the plastic-covered rope, and undo the three zippies holding it together. This reveals a beautiful hank of brightly coloured material, ready to unwind at my leisure. Without thinking I begin to pull rope out.

Now I don’t know whether the communist party in China has enlisted clothesline spare parts companies to sabotage Australian home notveryhandymen, but I tell you what, that’s the way it seems. While that rope seemed meticulously prepared to unravel fluently like mono off an Alvey, the truth was very different. As soon as that first 10 loops of rope came off, the whole thing snagged up. You think a baitcaster can cause some problems; this was next level.

But I refused to be beaten by the CCP plot. I gently teased the loops apart, and passed the loose line back through. Approximately 50 times. Then peeled the other end off. It tangled. But I kept my cool and kept it going for a good 90 minutes until my threshold was reached. At this point I threw the whole feckin mess on the ground, stamped on it, kicked it and pulled the lot as hard as I could. At which point the whole thing untangled. You could have knocked me down with a feather Heather. Goes to show, very occasionally despite what my first wife says, tanties do work.

And also, if anyone’s looking for several hundred metres of plastic-coated wire rope, call me.

MELBOURNE BL MARINE 612- 614 Plenty Road Preston P: (03) 9478 1420 F: (03) 9470 4638 W: blmarine.com.au MORNINGTON PENINSULA NAUTICAL MARINE 141 Hotham Road Sorrento P: (03) 5984 1666 E: info@nauticalmarine.com.au W: nauticalmarine.com.au

SHEPPARTON BOATS AND MORE 207 Numurkah Road Shepparton P: (03) 5822 2108 F: (03) 5821 2908 W: boatsandmore.com.au TOORADIN P&J MARINE SERVICE CENTRE P/L 101 Tooradin Station Road Tooradin P: (03) 5998 3107 E: pjmarine_services@bigpond.com

MORWELL CRAWFORD MARINE 71-77 Chickerell Street Morwell P: (03) 5134 6522 F: (03) 5134 6455 W: crawfordmarine.com.au

ECHUCA EADES XTREME MARINE 24 Sturt Street Echuca P: (03) 5482 2333 F: (03) 5482 2133 W: xtrememarine.net.au

BRAESIDE JV MARINE WORLD 878 Springvale Road Braeside P: (03) 9798 8883 F: (03) 9798 7554 W: jvmarine.com.au GEELONG PORTSIDE MARINE CENTRE 36-38 Geelong Road Portarlington P: (03) 5259 1110 E: info@portsidemarinecentre.com.au W: portsidemarinecentre.com.au

MELBOURNE THE MARINE SHOP 6 Holland Drive Melton P: (03) 9747 0588 F: (03) 9747 3999 W: themarineshop.com.au

MELBOURNE TRIPLE M MARINE 117 Northgate Drive Thomastown P: (03) 9465 8787 F: (03) 9466 1418 W: triplemmarine.com.au