1st Grade Writing Samples and Annotations

1st Grade Writing Samples Aurora Public Schools

ing t i r eW d a r 1st G amples S

writing annotations Evidence an d Elements Personal Na rrative 1st Grade

Personal Narrative First Grade Scaring Sister Elements

Evidence

Focuses on one important moment of the author’s life

The small moment is about a time that the author was scared by her brother.

Central character is the author Plot is developed by taking a focused moment and stretching it out to describe important events

The piece is written in first person.

The writer includes some events to stretch out the moment.

For example: The brother plotted to scare the sister.

The brother dressed like a ghost.

The mother told him to stop.

The tension is resolved when the brother wants to scare his sister and then he scares her.

Plot usually involves a problem that is solved, a tension that is resolved, or something big that changes

Structured with a beginning, middle, and end

B – Brother thought about how he could scare his sister M- Brother scared his sister E- Sister told on her brother

Chronologically sequenced

The events happened in order.

Includes a setting (time and place)

The setting is “one perfect night”.

Next Step: Include more information about the place that it happened.

Next Step: Include more details

Uses details to describe events and people Includes reactions, thoughts, observations, and feelings of characters Contains closure or reflective statements May contain dialogue

Includes the reaction “I was scared”.

The closure is: “I told my mom, “Mom Jorge scared me.” “Stop,” said my mom.

Contains some dialogue

ls+

,

P''{f'?:'

letXUart.

-

a{*nt \ che racten is

hnrr) "

C{}q

_:

'^te&d,o6 bâ‚Źet+v+ffi'Lf

slvelch rn"4 c ut

_,Sitojl

_

"ti'\outfl

vp

-="*W.

To9{

fo+ So Y ;n.9

i

{ur*

{ ilel%otv't'rtt

fl ll

C

otd

I

e

1ce {p

ut,r^

Wq

i.

t

\

n *o

r,

Gosr he I

1

-

l''

hotp'+o iigut

To

J

crd

Ntt

r\*rr

-r,, BotSyr-vl t

T4dKC

#.

0 rrl -f

l

-

\\ {4

I

l

il

writing annotations Evidence an d Elements How To 1st Grade

How To First Grade How To Make an Ice Cream Sundae Elements Gives instructions or directions on how to do something Title introduces topic Contains a list of what will be needed Sketches and words provide a series of general steps or actions for carrying out a procedure or activity Steps and actions are organized in order by time Numbers or transition words are used to indicate sequence of steps or actions Details help the reader to understand the instructions

Evidence This piece explains how to make an ice cream sundae.

Title – “How To Make A Ice Crame Sunde” describes the genre and topic.

List contains – “Sprinkels, syrup, bowl, banana, chery, and ice crame.”

Sketches include detailed pictures and numbered steps.

Steps are organized by numbers.

Numbers are included, and there are two transition words.

There are some details like “a little bet of carmel syrop”.

Next step: The author could include more details like “put a lot of cream on top of everything”.

C{edtrlc

,Sf )

SYYIP tUs

LW*,*

-Z &roe,dYe,Wryft-

lbvels

nto

5c ore

-.u-rm4

LSFT/

on

thf;

V

Vo*

etdd

C f q$w{o

.\l,se rnor<, deioils ta

tlre- i nStrne*i oflS , [Ae. rnofe

-.6te6 orpru

hl$m

*narS*io'o

writing annotations Evidence an d Elements All About 1st Grade

All- About First Grade All About Cats Elements Contains facts and information focused on one subject Title announces topic of text Main topic is divided into subtopics which become separate chapters or sections

Organized by table of contents Contains features of nonfiction texts that relate to topic such as: labeled diagrams, headings, captions, and pictures Contains pages with unique purposes (e.g.: how-to page, parts-of page, fun facts page, and different-kinds-ofsomething page) May include a simple concluding sentence Contains names and vocabulary related to topic

Evidence This All-About has facts and information about cats.* The title of “All About Cats” describes both the genre and the topic.

Main topic is divided into subtopics which become separate chapters. “What is a Cat? Different Kinds of Cats, What Do Cats Eat?, Fun Facts, How To Care for a Cat, and Cat Diagram.”

Contains a table of contents.

Contains headings, subheadings, pictures that illustrate the information, and a labeled diagram.

There is a Fun Facts section on page six, a How-To on page seven, and a Parts-of Page on page eight.

The How-To section includes a simple concluding sentence.

Includes the vocabulary and names related to the topic, “mammal, coat, kittens and the names of different kinds of cats.”*

*It’s important to note that the child chose this topic. She used the pictures from a nonfiction book about cats to describe different kinds of cats. The majority of the facts were from her background knowledge.

lsl fu6a1s \ I

l

I

6ibot/ {**ei1c

L- *lt-) t

nrurfil*

'I

-]

i

- -

i 1

',

,

,.-,

'.i',-

*-t**-*

.

Lt Y

!

'-r -.*

..:-.---:: ---J

^^ r

r{

\.'V

.

?1 I

'

./

^\

'''r*

LYI-I { I

+'i_{-

r ;" i ".1

-

.t

t

t

ii

F::--

J

:l' 'i itrr

i,"\

I

LI

I ., i .,. fl', F'\

'i

-r

i(

-

, /t {

jr

I

r?

.;.';i;

l

-+ft-i-* i j\,

-i

I

J

r ,:r; tq

{

i

*lt

a

g i+

f li-_L

'J 1

',i

//j

/!:

,, { V-t 1*;-,,:: ''*L-- tl,'-tl| , i

i

-Who,+ h* Ca

l.'

I

J*-.-d I

i;

I

-T

\ f\,,+{

! i$

,/-(\-./,1

L

! !,*, ,- . -^ \

t.,

il-'l{i

\tl

' l- d]-* i;{. .-____

I

I I

J

.;-

ro ,;

f]

r^

t

ta*,,

.;*

-l

i---

r.-.-

l*u,,,,r,' f

I

cl#J

tildr' i{,

t

tl 4

:i r

,i i*l

i I

lft ftr' ,n! )* / li it r I t, --rt

*l

v#e5 Fr: r'*

.i:.'.:.

""

O

t' {,,

t.

.

': .-";]-r,'

. . :i^...:..,.

-, 'i: .. .,

*,.,_--r:,;:..:*,",:-i.r..:..

:,

.. -.i,i,i:"_*j."..:er.r .''1;:';' ::: '

tront ents Whot is o Cat?

T

Diffe rent kinds of Cots

2-4

Whot"do Cots eat?

5

Fun Focts

6

How

to care f or o Cat

Cat Diogrorn

7

t*,1 t.r'1 ':^. .1 t..i\ 'i t I i

-+

€cr

fl

*n IV

'3t

g ffi

g H

H

Cha

What is a Cat? ;1',1.,.o.n*

H

ter I

|"i:ij

|;.|r}:r:,itffii

-

f, H

fl

il

t il il

I t I I I I

A cot is not o f ish. A cqt is o rnornrnol.

5o me cots ljve in hornes. so me cots are wild. Some cafs sre srnoll ond some con be big.

Chm

,7 Tgf

d-

Diff erent kinds of Csts

Colifornio Spongled Cot The Calif ornio Spon gled cat hos strips.

They look like smoll cheetohs.

?

*c

&

HI ffi

fl

il fl

il

Bomboy Cat The Bornboy cot is o shiny cot. They hove block eyes.

3

.d

H

K

g

fl ,',.

ilil il

Burmese Cot The Burm ese cot hos o brown coot.

4

Cho

ter'3 o Cots

T

&

t? oo r- !r a'rl-ia \ot

i.

.

a{a

tj a a

,-d

b

cots con eat d.y or wet cot food. so rne cots eat tuno.

5

ffi

Chm

w

ter 4

Fun Facts

w H

All kittens hove blue eyes to begin with ond then they con turn green, yellow or o?Qnge.

6

$.

ry

fl $

il

t :+

.l}'

il

Chs ter 5 How to Care f or o Cat

'F

n 6,

il 'lhi

,8.

,e{

il

.& '$

ilff #

il ,'f

H

I #.

F.

il id

s

il n |lf; i

il +"1

I r;

il

I

L__

First , give the cot plenty of f ood. Next, give the cat plently of weter. Th ?fr, keep the cot's bed in o [ruorrn ptoce. Lost , give the cot plenty of {ove. Thot's how to care for o \

cot.

,T

Chspter 6 Cat Disgrcrn

8

writing annotations Evidence an d Elements Authors As Mentors 1st Grade

Authors As Mentors First Grade Swinging Chair Elements

Evidence

Adding ellipses in their drafts

Yes, effectively uses ellipse. “Then I went too fast and…fell off the swinging chair.”

Repeating key phrases (comeback lines)

Next step: She could have taken “swinging chair” and made it into a comeback line.

Orienting the reader by starting with time (e.g.: It is early in the morning)

Yes, she says, “One afternoon…”

Using precise details gathered from researching or visualizing

This cannot be determined by looking at a writing sample. The teacher would need to observe this behavior.

!t

i

ir i

i'

"

j:

'?

-.-

!i

-J.

tI I

{

,,..liar:ri

:.r" .::

;5qj*jldt**rl,l; I

I I

t I

;;$l;ri;!i;di.i;*,;d;.4*,rj,ir"J!-*;-ri*:ia;;-,",!i:Ji;t;r;,.t

.,-.! ;_+:1..,.1'\r,r,;;.;*;sC-ri,,,$i:Ai,;i*d!*g;i,U

+#sn.J

ruif

tl^T r,-*- -d4 - di,

u/#*-\&,fu

1

i ' &s$ob

ottllidr

\'fliOftie

ttt

cdqils_ta_&-&[Lbe_

erltnb *

peopl e

writing annotations Evidence an d Elements Poetry 1st Grade

Poetry First Grade Brain Element

Evidence

Describes ordinary things in fresh new ways

Describes the brain as a “think box”.

Chooses topics that elicit strong feelings

Next step: Select topics for poems that would elicit strong feelings.

Author choose a small object – the brain, but didn’t represent a big feeling.

The repetition of the word “brain” gives the poem it’s own music.

The topic of a brain is important and relevant to a first grader.

Author uses unique language to describe the brain as a “think box” that “holds” things.

Chooses a small object, moment, or detail that represents the big feeling Have their own special music Contain topics that matter to the poet Have language, rhythm, form, line breaks, music, and meaning

Convey feelings by “showing, not telling”

Writes in different poetic voices: o Speaks to the subject/object of the poem (speaking to the object)

Next step: Use line breaks in a way that adds to the music of the poem.

The author attempts to “show, not tell” by using the simile, “A brain is like a think box”.

Next step: Use more descriptive words.

In this poem, the lyrical voice is used to describe the brain.

o Tells a story with breathless urgency (storytelling voice) o Speaks to the reader and says something that is the deepest, truest sound of the poet’s heart (lyrical voice) o Uses dialogue (conversational voice) Uses patterns that support the meaning of the poem Rereads poems aloud over and over and decides how the poem should be read Changes words so poems sound like music Rereads poems for honesty and revises words until they are precisely right

The word “brain” is used in a pattern to support the meaning of the poem.

This cannot be determined by looking at writing sample. The teacher would need to observe this behavior.

Next step Next step

lu+ Poetry

in Yleu.t

*o pe| _rmâ&#x201A;Źanirs__

Elementary Science Aurora Public Schools

is E e c n Scie

ta n e m le

ry