Real Talk Q&A

REAL TALK

QI just recently gave

my life to Christ, and I am still learning how to please God daily. My pastor said listening to R&B music is wrong, but I am having trouble understanding why. I have asked my new Christian friends, and they cannot explain it. Can you help me understand? I want to honor God with my whole life, but I don’t get it.

AMusic is powerful and appeals to our emotions, impacting our thoughts, actions, and lives. When we become new creatures in Christ Jesus, everything in our life that is not in alignment with the things of God should also change as we grow in our knowledge of God. R&B, also called rhythm and blues, is secular music that glorifies the flesh and its desires. In contrast, sacred music exalts God and edifies his goodness and holiness. This music genre emphasizes the spiritual belief that we should seek to please God. When we focus on Him and worship Him, we enter His holy presence, experiencing the joy of being born again. When we confess our sins and commit to following Christ, we are born again, meaning we’ve given up that old lifestyle and are no longer a part of the world’s sinfulness. Titus 2:12 says, “Teaching us, that by denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, even in this present world. To live holy means we do everything we can to please Him, who has forgiven us so much.

QMy husband and I have attended the

same church for the past 17 years. We have prayed together during those times, and God has blessed us in many ways. But now he has decided that he no longer wants to go to church and is pressuring me to follow him. He has even threatened to divorce me and find another woman who will do what he now considers pleasures. I know the Bible says that man is the head of the house, and I am supposed to be submissive to him as my covering, but I love God and do not want to lose my husband and leave my church. My heart is torn! What should I do?

AYour situation is heartbreaking, but your sincere desire to stay with God says a lot about your personal conviction. Often, as Christians, we expect our marriages to align with the scriptures and the wedding vows: “to have and to hold, to love and cherish, til death we do part.” However, there are times when a spouse decides to no longer follow Christ or His teachings, and we face a tough decision on whether or not to support or follow them.

I Corinthians 7:15 says, “But if the unbelieving departs, let him depart….” Let your spouse know you genuinely love him and want your marriage to work. But, at the risk of losing out with God, there can be no compromise. Explain that everyone must answer for themselves before God as to why they walked away from Him and that serving God is an individual affair. During this season, your faith in God will be the sustaining force to help you navigate this process. Seek His guidance from the pages of scriptures and stand on His word. Hold fast, and God will work everything out for good.

QFor the past two years, I have been

seeking God and trying to get closer to Him, but it seems like nothing is happening. I am trying not to give up, but I wonder how I get God to speak to me.

ARemember that time spent seeking more of God is never wasted. You may be closer to Him than you think. Growth occurs over time and not overnight. Learning the ways of God is a process and an adventure. He reveals Himself in so many beautiful ways that we sometimes find it easy to overlook. Keep channeling your energy and time into prayer. Study the Word, keep your heart open, and your expectations high. Soon you’ll have developed a deeper and more meaningful relationship with Him than you thought possible.

QI recently visited a friend’s church

where people were speaking in tongues. However, I belong to a different denomination where speaking tongues is not taught. Do I have to speak in tongues to be saved?

AWe live in a society where many religions have developed teachings according to their interpretation of scripture, which often fits their needs and desired doctrine. However, the Holy Scriptures tell us that the Bible is not by private interpretation but is the infallible truth of God Himself. What is written in the Holy Bible is there for all to believe and obey. It’s not for certain denominations because Jesus Christ died for the entire world. St. John 3:16 states, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him, Jesus, should not perish but have everlasting life.”

Jesus came to free us from the dominion of sin. Not only that, but He made sure that we could have the power to remain free from the devil and his alluring sinful plans. Thus said, the Holy Ghost was sent from Heaven, empowering the people of God to live just that kind of life. The tongues are not the Holy Ghost, but it’s the biblical evidence that the spirit of God has its dwelling in the person of every born-again believer. It is a transforming experience that no one can deny or explain. It has to be experienced. So just because a church doesn’t teach or believe, it doesn’t make the WORD or the teachings of scriptures ineffective. It’s plainly written for those who want to know the truth.

QI am a father of three teenage

children. I go to church, but my wife does not. I am trying to raise them to love God. My wife and I disagree on how this looks in our house. I believe I should bring them to church with me now, but she thinks I should wait until they are old enough to choose for themselves. How do I compromise without losing my children to the world?

AAs parents, we should work as a team to raise our children in a safe and positive environment. We must lay a spiritual foundation for children to grow. If only one parent submits, chaos and confusion can hinder the process.

While you are the head of the household, it is still important to hear your wife’s perspective and ensure that she knows that her opinion matters as you seek to find common ground.

Consider taking them to a Sunday worship service to start their week with peace and tranquility and not interfere with any daily activity or school schedule. During meals, you can say grace and quote scriptures to invoke God’s blessings and favors over the family. Also, throughout the week, you can interject scriptures and use spiritual applications to keep them rooted and grounded in the Word.

God is not the author of confusion. If you seek to do His will, you’ll discover ways to keep harmony in the home and develop a solid and enduring relationship with your wife. As you take a firm stand as the head of the house, maybe your wife will come to appreciate your conviction and recognize the value of having a Godfearing husband. God will reward you for your faithful stance, not only as a natural, wholesome provider but as a muchQHow do I witness

to my family who remembers me and the way I was before I got saved? I have been trying, but they refuse to hear anything I say about Christ. How do I win them to Christ?

AMany of us have faced the intense scrutiny of trying to prove we have changed and are not the same person we were before conversion. Some fear your salvation, as it goes against what they believe. For example, only some people accept that you can live free and separated from sin. And if you have family members who profess Christianity but lack credibility, your salvation will call their religious lifestyle into question.

My suggestion to you is to keep living life. In time, they will see the difference and accept the reality of II Corinthians 5:17, which says, “if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.”

REAL TALK

Do not worry about those who refuse to accept your new way of life. Let your life be a witness that God can and will change anyone who gives their heart to Him.

QI am new to salvation. How do I know

if it is me, God’s voice, or the devil in my thoughts?

AThe enemy of our soul tries to use your status as a “babe in Christ” to tempt you to do wrong. As newly saved Christians, we are like babes and may need help clearly distinguishing the source of many voices within. However, you can be sure that the voice of God will never instruct you to do, say or commit any wrongdoing contrary to His word. Thus, as a believer, it is essential not only to be saved but to have the Holy Ghost dwelling within you to be your teacher and a guide and keep you from the tricks of Satan in your infancy as a new convert.

As we mature in Christ, we grow in wisdom and knowledge of the leading of the Spirit. We are in tune with the scriptures and can more clearly see how they empower us to discern what’s right and whose voice we may be hearing. The more of the word of God you know, the better you will recognize His voice above all others.