CONFESSIONS OF A DELI OWNER

ANONYMOUS TALES FROM BEHIND THE COUNTER

HAVING BEEN IN the trade a few years now, I can spot a sh out of water at 30 paces. You know. The customers that don’t know even of the existence of artisan cheese. Customers who ask for things like cheese with added fruit, cheddars that “burn”, and brie that doesn’t smell. These are products only available in supermarkets and convenience stores.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Everyone likes a bit of simple cheese – a bit of sweet, salt, acid for punch, a few dairy notes. It’s nice. But then you get beyond nice, towards excellent, you shed people. Complex cheeses are not an entry point to the counter.

I nd there are now two camps of cheese people – let’s call them the simples and the complexes –like two gangs. The simples don’t understand what the complexes like because nearly nobody eats it (over 99% of cheese in the UK is “simple” cheese). The complexes