HEALTH AND LIFESTYLE

The Holidays: Stress or Success

by MARIANNE AGNEW

As we navigate through the journey of life there are circumstances, including aging parents, illnesses or disability in the family that may take precedence. The unpaid family member who devotes themselves to taking care of the multiple medical concerns of their loved ones, is the caregiver.

The family caregiver is often sandwiched between looking after the needs of their aging parents, spouse or friend, while still wanting to create holiday memories with their busy children or grandchildren.

Caregiving is stressful on so many levels, and when you add the expectations and demands of the holidays to this messy stew, the pot can really boil over. It is easy to become physically and emotionally overwhelmed as you try to create holidays to remember for everyone in the family. Anticipatory grief that this may be Grandma’s last Christmas, along with mourning for family members who have passed, is also heightened during these times of traditional family celebrations.

I have experienced all of these scenarios, and I am a serial over-achiever. I want to do it all! I believe I can put on my cape and make the holidays perfect for everyone, but I realize that my personal expectations are just not attainable. If I spread myself that thin, I am likely to be the one that suffers the most, and my holiday dream limps off sadly and curls up in a corner. I am offering the following tips that have been suggested for caregivers like me to not only survive, but more importantly, to enjoy this time of holiday celebration.

Be Realistic

Practice the KISS method. Keep it Simple Silly! Make your “To Do” list and then cut it in half. Just because you have always done it, or someone is expecting it, doesn’t mean you have to do it this year. Practice saying NO for demands upon your time.

Be Kind to Yourself

Make time to do things that bring you joy. Ten minutes to get outside, breathe, meditate, read, create, exercise, or just sit will make a difference. Take time to clear your mind, get enough sleep, and try to keep alcohol and caffeine to a minimum.

Take Shortcuts

Contrary to popular opinion, money is a very thoughtful gift! Go to the bakery for cookies or ask friends to share. Accept all offers of help. Practice saying YES to all offers, and then let them do it without you being involved.

Prioritize

Take some time to reflect on your priorities and write them down. What is most important to you?

Allow Time to Grieve

Share it with people you trust. Give yourself permission to feel your emotions.

Keep Yourself Safe

This isn’t the time to hash out frustrations or bigger issues with family members. Do your best to limit time with family members who are critical or unsupportive of your caregiving.

Laugh!

Find time for humour, watch funny Christmas shows, build crazy snowmen, make snow angels, doodle ridiculous cartoons. Laughter really is the best medicine.

All This Will Pass

It may be like a kidney stone, but it will pass. Be mindful of the present and try to enjoy each moment.

Practice Gratitude

Even in the toughest times we can find things to be grateful for, and gratitude is a great stress reliever. Try counting your blessings as you are going to sleep and see if it helps you to wake up with a positive attitude.

Get Support

Lean on a trusted friend or relative. Call the Caregivers Network for East Kootenay Seniors toll free line. Join a support group in person or online.

Submitted Photo

The Elk Valley Caregiver support group meets in Fernie at Mugshots the 4th Wednesday of the month at 3:15pm. The toll-free line is private and confidential.

Reach out, you are not alone. For support or more info: caregiversnetworkek.com Info@caregiversnetworkek.com Toll-free: 1-877-489-7044. Facebook: Caregivers Network for East Kootenay Seniors

Happy Holidays

From all of us at Teck, we wish you and your loved ones a safe and healthy holiday season.

Beavers in Winter

by SYLVIA AYERS, illustrated by SARAH PULLEN

Beaver activity creates wetlands which are among the most biologically productive ecosystems in the world? They increase plant, bird, and aquatic life, and improve water quality for thousands of species.

Did you know...

In order to breathe fresh air beavers do not apply mud to the peak of the lodge, creating a ventilation shaft. On a very cold winter day, look closely and you may see the beaver’s breath escaping from this chimney-like peak, or even hear the murmurs of the beaver family inside!

They have excellent senses of hearing and smell. When swimming a protective transparent membrane covers their eyes, and flaps close to keep water out of their nostrils and ears. Also, behind their incisors they have inner lips that allow them to carry sticks in without getting a mouthful of water.

Beavers eat fresh leaves, twigs, stems, and bark and while they chew on any tree, they really like alder, aspen, birch, cottonwood, maple, poplar and willow. In the fall they collect sticks underwater so that once the pond freezes, they swim under the ice for a stick to nibble on! Beavers do not hibernate, they just hunker down. Their lodges are mostly submerged but have a large dry den above water where their body heat keeps them warm enough to survive the cold season. Maybe you have seen a lodge or two in the Annex Park pond or beside Maiden Lake?

Beaver fur consists of short fine hairs for warmth and longer hairs for waterproofing. They need to groom daily to keep it waterproof, and frequently groom each other’s fur – a great social activity!

Resources

Who We Are

by WENDY READE

As winter approaches, our Snow School family comes together again. For me, this is a magical time of the year, as I get to reconnect with all the members of our Snow School, both old and new.

What brings us all together, and what we all share, is a passion for teaching, and spending time with our guests. We love to share what we know about our chosen profession, be it alpine skiing, snowboarding or cross-country skiing.

Our Snow School is a very diverse group of individuals, from young to old and from very experienced to the new pros starting out on their careers, but what we have in common is our love of the outdoors, the mountains, the fresh air and the health of what that brings to our lives. This is what we want to share with everyone.

We love what we do, we work every day to be the best that we can be, not just as instructors, but as ambassadors of our sport. We work together to share insights into sport technology, technical updates and applications. We spend time together discussing what that means, developing our own skills, and how we can help our guests have the best experience possible. This covers a very broad scope, from a very general resort experience, to skill development sessions, to personalized training.

The depth of knowledge and experience in our Snow School pros is amazing! There are pros who have been with us for 30+ years, they know the mountain inside and out, and on the worst day, can find the best the mountain has to offer. We also have those pros who are the best at entertaining young skiers or snowboarders. For us, Snow School and teaching is a way of life, it is who we are. We continue to learn and develop every day, to be the best that we can be. This is what keeps us in it, and we hope we can share this passion with anyone and everyone! That is what this column will highlight throughout the season – the unique stories and work of the Winter Sport School and the people who make it what it is.

Fernie Alpine Resort Photo

“We love what we do, we work every day to be the best that we can be, not just as instructors, but as ambassadors of our sport.”

THE KODIAK LOUNGE •

OPEN DAILY @ 4.20PM FERNIE’S APRES ENDS HERE!

• COVERED PATIO • FIRE PITS • CRAFT BEER • COCKTAILS • SHOOTER SKIS • MONDAY NIGHT JAM NIGHTS • HOCKEY TICKET & PINT DEAL • KARAOKE THURSDAYS!

R A G I N G E L K . C O M

892–6TH AVENUE IN FERNIE

It’s a Dog Meets Dog World

by VALERIE BARRY

It’s a social time of year! It’s a time to come together with friends and family and enjoy all the camaraderie and the things that make this time of year special to you. Dogs are social creatures too and, like us, seek each other out for companionship.

Also like us, there are socially acceptable and unacceptable ways for them to interact. Interestingly, some of the things that cause us social discomfort are similar for dogs. No one likes the “close talker,” the “space invader,” the “hugger, mugger” or the “stalker!”

In dogs, these behaviours would be:

• Barking in the face of another dog.

• Coming in fast and close and lingering waaay too long.

• Jumping on the head, butt or shoulders of another dog.

• Staring at an approaching dog – even sitting, crouching, or lying down while staring.

Dog’s social skills are a product of the environment they’re raised in, the early experiences they have and, to some degree, their genetics. Once they come into our care, we need to continue their social training. Understanding basic dog behaviour and body language can make a world of difference.

The “3 Second Rule”

It is acceptable and easily tolerable for a dog to enter the personal space of an unknown dog for 3 seconds. Any longer becomes quickly invasive. Dogs who are less confident, young or who have had negative experiences can quickly become uncomfortable and lash out defensively when greetings last longer. Go to any dog park or busy trail, and you will see this played out. There’s an initial greeting, usually a sniff to face or butt. If it lasts longer than 3 seconds, you can see each dog begin to “get bigger” – they get still, stand taller, tails get higher. Often one dog disengages, and nothing happens. Sometimes, though, there is a brief and sudden explosion. Despite what it looks like, the explosion is intended to prevent conflict, not to start a fight – they want their space back.

Socially skilled dogs know how to defuse these situations. These dogs will “change the picture” to lessen tension. They will:

• Feign sudden and intense interest in something else,

• Develop an itch and begin scratching,

• Drop their noses to the ground to investigate a smell,

• Shake off or yawn widely while gazing off into the distance, • Drop into a play bow to invite a more playful interaction, or

• Loosen their body language and trot casually off.

Can you think of human equivalents to these strategies?

Right from puppyhood, it’s important to teach your dog to easily disengage from another dog and return to you.

This might be a recall, a hand target, coming to heel – there are many options to use. As they mature and their skills develop, they will learn strategies of their own.

The best reward for disengagement is to offer another opportunity to greet. Usually after 2 or 3 quick meet and greets, most dogs will indicate their interest in each other – play or simply move on.

Be proactive, do some purposeful training and keep all those “get togethers” fun!

Submitted Photo

Holiday Travel Tips

by PATRICK ROBERTSON

December and January are festive times to celebrate our commitment to the ones we love. When we join as a community to share our time and resources, we can make the holidays wonderful for everyone.

During the holiday season, family and friends come together to share love and good cheer. For many that means distant travel. There are a lot of things that you can do to make travel easier on yourself.

Don’t forget, there are still pandemic restrictions in place. Research COVID restrictions for the area before you go. You need to be up-to-date on the changing travel restrictions. If not, you may not be allowed entry, or it may delay your travel and cost you extra money.

Book your transportation as soon as possible. Rates go up closer to the holidays and seats rapidly disappear. A one-day delay could cost hundreds of dollars.

Take the earliest flight. When delays occur, they compound quickly through the course of the day. One delayed flight can cause another flight to be delayed resulting in hundreds of delays and cancellations with people becoming stranded in airports.

Plan to be where you are going three or four days before and after the holiday. The busiest travel days of 2022 are going to be December 22 and 23 and December 26 and 27.

These busy days affect road travel as well, with highways filling up and people hurrying to get to their destinations. A large amount of impatient people distracted by a car full of passengers driving in winter conditions is a recipe for disaster. Make sure you have an up-to-date road side assistance membership and check conditions before heading out. Have a plan B and plan C for travel interruptions. Think of it as your sanity insurance. If you are stuck in the airport, what are you going to do? If you are stranded on the highway, what are you going to do?

Always carry high calorie snacks with you. Nuts, fruit, and sandwiches are all very portable and will be a blessing when stranded. Consider stocking your car with warm blankets and water. I always carry an empty steel water container. I have it with me all the time. I empty it in the checkin washroom and carry it empty through security then fill it up in the waiting area washroom. Throw in a couple of ice cubes from one of the fast food places and you have delicious cold water for hours.

Bring things to keep yourself occupied, such as a book - I have spent many enjoyable hours lost in a book while waiting in airports. Now people have their smart phones and tablets to watch movies, play games, read books, keep up with current news, use social media, and do work. Be respectful of those around you, and please use your earphones.

Be polite and have empathy. Everybody is going through the same stressful situation. A smile is free and so rewarding to see the other person’s face brighten up. Talk calmly and be kind with all the workers you talk to. Try to make your time with them pleasant and reassuring.

Order your presents online or at local stores where you are visiting and have them delivered to where you are staying - you can even have them gift wrapped! But it is nice to get there a few days early and wrap them yourself. A good trend is to give experiences instead of things. Last year I was given a gift certificate to Island Lake Lodge that I used for date night. I can still remember it clearly.

As we all come together over this holiday season, be safe and spread the love.

Skating Annex Pond| Submitted Photo

Improving Relationships, Starting with You

by TYLA CHARBONNEAU

“Hi, it’s me. I’m the problem, it’s me.” Taylor Swift.

This line seems to be everywhere right now, and it is catchy! It sticks in your head and plays on repeat. This holiday season as we come together with our friends and family, there will inevitably be some stress and interpersonal conflict to navigate. Perhaps we should take Ms. Swift’s musical advice: Instead of venting to our friends about the behaviours of others we could grab a cup of hot chocolate and engage in self-reflection or journal writing about ourselves.

One of the most common reasons individuals discontinue therapy is because they quickly realize the work is internal rather than external. It is so much easier to sit and complain about everyone else. Accountability takes work, it is also where the most growth and healing occurs. I saw a meme once that said, “I go to therapy to deal with those who don’t.” It did not sit well with me. Therapy is for you, for you to figure out what triggers your behaviours, why you are attracted to others who may cause you harm or to act in unhealthy ways you do not like. It is somewhat natural to blame others for the discomfort in your life. The reality is your circumstance will not change or improve until you take a good look at yourself and understand the way you show up with others. Self-reflection requires you to look at your own triggers, negative core beliefs, and responses to the trauma of your childhood or previous relationships. Going to therapy, or engaging in self- help, cannot change anyone in your life, except you. Perhaps even more importantly you cannot do the emotional work for others, save yourself the heartache and spend that energy on you.

I need to be really honest with you, this work is incredibly painful and difficult. As humans we go to great lengths to avoid feelings. We run, eat, bike, drink, work too hard, keep ourselves really busy to avoid feeling what we need to. However, to feel, is the only way through it. And man is feels awful, but then it feels really good after. I promise. This holiday season, and in life in general, if you find yourself frustrated with others or your emotions elevated, take a moment and turn inward. If you are angry or want to lash out, then it is about you. The other person may have done something you do not like, but if you are not calmly reacting, then you need to look at your own triggers. After your initial focus on the other person’s behaviour stop and try the following:

1. Take a deep breath and try to find relaxation in your body, shake it out, find some calm.

2. Ask yourself, what are my triggers in this situation? What is going on for me? Helpful hint, this is likely a core belief being triggered and using the words “I am…” can help. For example, the root of the conflict might be that you are not feeling loved or liked by others, or not enough of a friend, partner, or parent.

3. Once you know what is going on for you offer yourself some self-compassion. What would you say to a friend in a similar situation, how would you comfort them? Offer these same kind words to yourself. You can also engage in a self-soothing activity, something that makes you feel comforted.

4. If you want to talk through the issue with the other person focus on you and not their behaviours. Be honest about what is going on for you instead of trying to get them to change their behaviour. Using statements like I feel…, and the story I am telling myself… may help the other person have a greater sense of empathy for you and they will likely be less defensive, thus hopefully promoting a healthy conversation.

The holiday season really is about coming together, and in order to do so in a healthy way we need to do the hard work to understand ourselves within our relationships. Celebrate you this holiday season through a gift of self-awareness and accountability.

Submitted Photo

“It is somewhat natural to blame others for the discomfort in your life. The reality is your circumstance will not change or improve until you take a good look at yourself and understand the way you show up with others.”

The content provided in this article is for information purposes only. It is not meant as a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you find yourself in distress, please reach out to your local physician who can provide mental health resources in your community.