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LETTER OF INVITATION THE 25% SEMINAR OF STEINUNN KNÚTS ÖNNUDÓTTIR AT MALMÖ THEATRE ACADEMY LUND UNIVERSITY MARCH 2021

To you my reader and colleague I have written five letters about the work No-Show that was performed in Reykjavík in 2020 as a part of my artistic research project How little is enough? Sustainable Methods of Performance for Transformative Encounters. The letters address different aspects of my artistic practice and research such as motivation, method, affect, ethics and the connection to the UN sustainable development goals, Agenda 2030. No Show is a series of five immersive participatory performances, solitary experiences performed in five private homes in different neighbourhoods of Reykjavík in June – August 2020. In the letters I describe, reflect, confess and contextualise my practice and mission. The letters come with numbers and a headline. The numbers point to a dramaturgy I have constructed and invite you to follow, but each letter is independent and can be read in any order. Feel free to read the letters in the order that makes sense to you. If you do not have a first-hand experience of the work, I suggest that you start by reading a manuscript for one or more editions of the piece and take a look at the photographs of the homes. The form of the letters mimics the dramaturgy of No Show. Each letter will contain: An image. A personal letter. A description of a scene from my practice that I choose to call a Ritual. A series of tasks that I invite you to solve, literally or through imagination. A task to contemplate, A task to observe, A task to perform. I hope you enjoy the ride With best wishes Steinunn

Ps. There are things that are important to my practice that I will not be dealing with in these letters to you, in particular, dramaturgical strategies and aesthetics. These topics will be addressed in depth within my 50% seminar were I will be disseminating my work Island, that was performed in Hrísey, an island north of Iceland in the autumn of 2020.

INDEX LETTER OF INVITATION…………………………………1 LETTER ONE, URGENCY……………................................4 LETTER TWO, METHOD………………………………….11 LETTER THREE, AFFECT………………………………...20 LETTER FOUR, ETHICS…………………………………..46 LETTER FIVE, AGENDA 2030……………………………52 QUESTIONNAIRE………………………………………….58 BIBLIOGRAPHY…………………………………………...59 MANUSCRIPTS…………………………………………….61 PHOTOS……………………………………………………282

LETTER ONE URGENCY

In this letter I will explain what motivates me when I reach out to an audience with questions on quality of life and share with you my thoughts on how my artwork can contribute to the solution of the current global challenges through intimate performative encounters. Let me start by introducing myself. I am a 55-year-old menopausal, white, educated, middle class woman from a Nordic country. I am one of six siblings that all have university degrees in different fields: in the arts, medicine and economy. Daughter of a plastic surgeon and a teacher, librarian. I have three grown up children, all students, and a husband of 30 years that works in academia and is a Doctor of Philosophy from Cambridge University, UK. I am a trained performer, I hold a BA degree in theology from University of Iceland and a MA degree in Performing Arts from De Montfort University, UK. I am a trained performer and have a diploma in life coaching. I have worked as a performer, director, writer, dramaturg, artistic leader and lecturer. More then half of my professional life I have had long term contracts and leadership-roles in different professional contexts. I own two properties in Reykjavik, an electric car and two bicycles. I also have two cats that I am allergic to. I have moved between different European countries, as a child and later as an adult with family of my own. I am a spiritual person that has practiced meditation and sought spiritual enlightenment within different frameworks. Lately I have been drawn to a Buddhist worldview. I am motivated by the love I have for my children and a hope I nurture for the future generations of all species, that they will live in a safe and just world in peace, tender care and understanding, breathing healthy air and drinking clean water. I am constantly reminded of my own privileges that stem from my specific background and my financial and social status. I have a genuine interest in creating a dialogue with my audience about quality of life, embedded and embodied in everyday actions and choices, bringing out questions on personal values. I am interested in how quality of life manifests in different ways in our daily lives. I take departure in the WHO´s definition of Quality of Life being the “… individual's perception of their position in life in the context of the culture and value systems in which they live and in relation to their goals, expectations, standards and concerns“ (WHO 2012). In my practice I am occupied with the individual perceptions of what constitutes quality of life and how these perceptions are the basis for perspectives or even values that dictate the personal everyday choices of people in their private lives, in their homes and within their local community. This art practice is currently situated in my artistic research project in theatre titled How Little Is Enough? Sustainable Methods of Performance for Transformative Encounters. The PhD project aims to develop sustainable methods of creating transformative encounters with an audience through participatory and site-specific performance, with a particular focus on how minimal

and sustainable the framework for an encounter can be. My leading research question is: How to construct a transformative artistic encounter through the most minimal means? The project is rooted in my artistic practice of more than 20 years, my degree in theology and most recently in my practice as a life coach. Throughout my practice I have been interested in creating a dialogue with my audience, acknowledging that what they bring to the performance is a part of the actual content of the artwork. The research strives to produce, through minimal means, transformative experiences that counteract consumerism and a society of hyper mediation. The project is concerned with values such as sustainability, personal responsibility and appreciation of personal experiences, vulnerability, tenderness, uncertainty, genuine exchange and imperfection. The research aims to stimulate the important discourse on sustainability within performing arts practices and open up new perspectives to the role the arts have in a possible solution to current global challenges. The research furthermore aims at bringing pre-existing participatory practices into conversation with UN sustainability Goals with a particular focus on personal values and their affect on quality of life. Theoretically I place the research within the discourse of affect, a cross disciplinary field of theory that is rapidly expanding. I do not follow a particular strand of theory but am inspired by thinkers from different directions such as Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick with her writings on touch (2003), Donna Harraway in her “speculative fabulation” about the community of critters in the Chthulucene (2016) and Deleuze and Guattari on their writings on percept, affect and concept (1994). In regard to the artistic methodology, the work makes use of relational and porous dramaturgy strategies especially when it comes to site specificity and spectator´s participation and imbedded in the artistic method is a sustainable ethos transcending the different aspect of the work. This will be the topic of my next seminar. I see my artistic role as being someone that tilts the view of our everyday life creating possible new insights to daily rituals that make up our world. This view can be related to what Timothy Morton describes as an aesthetic dimension of causality where the reality is framed in a certain way, so the patterns become visible and all the objects become super real. (Morton, 2013, p.67) The work seeks to affect people in site specific settings such as private homes and local communities, confronted with lived experiences of their hosts and potentially of their own. With the most minimal means the experience is staged to distinguish art from life, making it a timeless affect independent from the lived experience. When Deleuze and Guattari talk about affect in arts they articulate clearly how artistic experience separates itself from other affective experiences claiming that the nature of art is that it preserves and what it preserves is a compound of sensations experienced through a composition:

“Composition, composition is the sole definition of art. Composition is aesthetic, and what is not composed is not a work of art.” (Deleuze & Guattari, 1994, p.191) Where Deleuze and Guattari talk about composition Erika Fischer Lichte points to the instrument of staging or mise en scène as the defining factor. It is my belief that by tilting the view only slightly a new sense of reality can appear which Lichte calls reenchantment of the world: Staging is responsible for the performative generation of materiality in such a way that the appearing elements attract the audience’s attention and simultaneously highlight the very act of perceiving itself. Staging brings about situations in which even inconspicuous and ordinary elements become remarkable and appear transfigured. Moreover, the spectators become aware that they are affected and transformed by their experience of the movements, light, colours, sounds, odours, and so forth. The mise en scène can therefore be defined and described as a process that aims at the reenchantment of the world and the metamorphosis of the performance’s participants. (Fischer-Lichte, 2008, p.189) It is through this tilted view that the reenchantment of the world happens. My work seeks to stage or highlight certain fragments of reality in site specific settings leaving art and non art to coexist. The staging is an invitation to view certain things through a new lens, the lens of the host; the other. I am also interested in creating this awareness of affect that Lichte speaks about, and the staging brings about. Occasion arises for the spectators to view everyday objects and daily routines as objects of artistic interest, or in other words, enter an aesthetic dimension that consists of the causality of their own daily actions (Morton, 2013). Morton talks about these experiences being magical and even a miracle. We live in an infinite non-totalizable reality of unique objects, a reality that is infinitely rich and playful, enchanting, anarchic despite local pockets of hierarchy, infuriating, rippling with illusion and strangeness. In this reality, objects are perfectly straightforward, with no transcendental or hidden aspects. Yet precisely because of this very fact, objects are completely weird: they hide out in the open, under the spotlight. Their very appearance is a kind of miracle. (Morton, 2013, p.55) Even though I might be interested in magic and miracle it is not motivated by an urge to seduce people into forgetting the seriousness of the imminent global and social crisis. On the contrary I invite the spectators to become aware of themselves in the work, remember who they are, what they strive for and why. The focus of many contemporary theatre works, working with lived experiences, is to shed light on traumatic experiences, violence and social injustices addressing

feelings of shame, fear and insecurity, creating empathy towards the victimised other. This sometimes takes place through documentary or verbatim theatre, giving the protagonists agency and even central role as performers on stage. The resent work of Fix and Foxy, the critically acclaimed, “My Deer Hunter”, is a good example of this approach with war veterans representing themselves on stage dealing with post traumatic syndrome. Even though this is a noble task and can be constructive for all involved when made with artistic rigour and tender care, I have chosen to approach lived experiences from another angle. To be enchanted by the everyday is described by Jane Bennett in her book The Enchantment of Modern Life: „To be enchanted is to be struck and shaken by the extraordinary that lives amid the familiar and the everyday“ (Bennett, 2001, p. 4). In her book Bennett argues that rehabilitating enchantment in the world and exercising the ability to experience wonder can contribute to the strengthening of ethical behaviour. Bennett describes her mission like this: I dust off and shine up [...] the experiences of wonder and surprise that endure alongside a cynical world of business as usual, nature as manmade, and affect as the effect of commercial strategy. [...] My counter story seeks to induce an experience of the contemporary world - a world of inequity, racism, pollution, poverty, violence of all kinds - as also enchanted - not a tale of reenchantment but one that calls attention to magical sites already here. (Bennett, 2001, p. 8) At the heart of my project is this activity of looking for undeniable positives in everyday experiences and to point out the things worth living for, the “happy objects” using Sarah Ahmed’s concept; “objects [that] become happy, as if happiness is what follows proximity to an object“ (Ahmed, 2010, p.21). No Show focuses on what works in the everyday life and what brings contentment and a sense of purpose to peoples lives. The work asks its spectator what qualities they are looking for in their daily lives and what makes them belong and feel at ease with the world they live in. It is my belief that beauty exists in the lives of every being, it is just to shed light on it and cultivate.

In the next letter I want to talk to you about my methods and describe the work in more detail.

RITUAL I You sit at your desk trying to find meaning of the words you have transferred from your inner being onto the screen. A flock of doves fly vigorously past your window surrounding you with an energetic sound of flapping wings. Then suddenly „PANG“ a bird knocks into the windowpane. When you reach the window, you see that the bird has left a graphic imprint on the glass pane. An impression of a dove. You think of the invisible hindrances in your own life and the blind spots you carry with you. You wonder if you would survive such a collision and what kind of impression you would leave behind.

TASKS

OBSERVATION Notice the qualities of this moment.

ACTION Write a list with your urgencies ...or draw a bird.

CONTEMPLATION How do questions on quality of life relate to what you are occupied with in your work?

LETTER TWO METHOD

Dear reader, this letter I have divided into chapters on different encounters with agents in my practice. I use the image of encounter to gain a perspective on how the work reacts to the world. For me each encounter holds a potential and through this exercise I will describe and reflect on my artistic methods as they unfold in a specific context. The encounter with the method For a number of years, I have been making immersive and participatory performances, drawing on lived experiences. Through the last four years I have created a method consisting of procedures and tools. The method consists of three core elements: the content, the process of creation and the mediation. Content •

Quality of life and sustainable values

•

Lived experiences and site specificity

Creation process •

Co-creation and spectator participation

•

Reduced production and sustainable practice

Mediation format •

Immersive and transformative performance

•

Relational/Porous dramaturgies

•

Question making

For each performance the method produces a framework that invites spectators to render their own stories, emotions, values and experiences as the core content of the performance. The framework distinguishes between three types of spectator participation: action, observation and reflection. The work is site specific and engages individuals, local communities and stakeholders into the creative process. The work is concerned with personal values and how they relate to quality of life. The method produces work that functions as a vessel for narratives that participants bring to the work. The practice is not occupied with representation as such but rather the singular presence of each spectator that re-present themselves by engaging with the work. The aesthetic and dramaturgical approach is porous and relational, dependent on what the spectator brings to the performance and what she sees as part of it. The work provides the spectator with „a map to navigate“ (the dramaturgy, the route) and a „backdrop“ (the site) to bring out their stories and to test their own ideas and values. At the foreground for the artistic method is question making. The work strives to produce actual questions that are mediated through the performance and transcend the layers of the experience.

I now will turn to the actual creation process of No Show and trace how this method unfolds within that work. The idea was to invite spectators to a home of a stranger where they would be introduced to the everyday routines, conditions and values of the hosts. The hosts were absent, and the spectators would experience the work in solitude. The host left letters that guided the spectator through the home. Through the letters the hosts shared fragments of their stories, everyday rituals and values that relate to their homes and family. The spectator would be invited to perform tasks that involved observation, action and contemplation. As a guest you engaged in an intimate dialogue with a person who wasn't there. The title in Icelandic is FjarVera, meaning absence, a two conjoining words Fjar meaning distance or away and Vera meaning a being or the verb being. The title would be written with each word starting with a capital letter underlining the wordplay and the multiple meaning. The idea was that several hosts from different backgrounds invited guests to walk through their home, one at a time, and contemplate what it means to be present in your own life. The work asks: What does presence involve and what is it that separates and unites us as human beings? The encounter with the hosts The objective of the work was to focus on quality moments in daily life and explore different strategies for creating a nurturing environment in what one calls a home. I wanted a diverse group of hosts, different ages, abilities, family types, cultural background and social status, living in different neighbourhoods. Early on I realised that I would need to invite spectators into my own home for two reasons; to make sure I understood the perspective of the host-participants and by doing that, to minimize the temptation or risk of exploitation on my behalf. Thus, I needed to find four hosts willing to invite strangers to roam around their homes in solitude and to share with them personal details, daily routines, stories and values. The performance was to run during the opening week of Reykjavík Art Festival that celebrated it´s 50th Anniversary on the theme Universes. Due to the pandemic, that affected the entire programming of the festival, the works were separated and spread over a longer period with each house being open for one week. This unexpected change, gave me more time to reflect in between the works, creating the opportunity to develop the method as I went along, adjusting the dramaturgical approach with each new edition of the work. The five homes were as follows in a chronological order. The first host was a 46-year-old choreographer married to an engineer/investor with three children aged from 11 to 20, and a family dog. They live in a higher middleclass neighbourhood. They have good means and live in a well kept two-storey house with a garden and a jacuzzi, the interior carefully picked by the host, an artistic woman of good taste.

The second host was me, a performing artist and an academic dean married to a Doctor of Philosophy also an academic. Our home is on two floors on top of a barbershop, in the centre of town that hosts a family of six persons, two cats and a visiting dog. The house is colourful, bohemian and nonconventional. The children, including son in law, are aged 21 – 30 with different attachments to the home. The third host was a retired nurse aged 66, a grandmother living with two goldfish in a socially challenged multicultural neighbourhood, with little means. Her two grown up children and three grandchildren look at the flat as their home but don´t live there. She is artistic and caring. She has health issues and has lived in socially deprived conditions for the most of her life. She has experienced loss and challenges of all sorts. She is very sufficient and has a philosophy around consumption and aesthetics. The fourth host was a single mom of 40 years with a teenage son. Polish immigrant, tourist guide, art theorist and a minimalist. She lives in less then 30 square meters with a single income. She has a heavy family story connected to a political corruption scandal in her hometown. She lives near the centre in a cultural part of Reykjavík. She is well educated, speaks fluent Icelandic and has lived in the country for 20 years. The fifth host was a 28-year-old woman in a wheelchair with CP disorder (Cerebral palsy). She lives in a social housing for people with different disabilities. She does not have permanent employment but is active as a volunteer in different organisations related to sports and disability. She has a cat and a good friend that spends a lot of time in her home. It was a challenge finding the right people to participate. I let the word out in my closest surroundings and the people at the festival put their heads together finding candidates. I only needed four people apart from myself. I would first contact the person by mail or phone where we would discuss the content and practicalities of the piece. To my surprise I only got a couple of rejections and ended up having to choose from families that wanted to participate. Two participants came through the festival, one from my close circle and one is a friend of a friend. After the initial contact we would meet at the premises where I would explain in detail the objectives of the work, what I was interested in and possible implications. We discussed which parts of the homes would be closed and what kind of things the hosts would share with the guests. I would take photographs and ask briefly about the activities of the family in the home. During a second visit I would interview the host in detail about their lives in the home, about objects, routines and values. I invited them to share stories and ideas about quality of life and happy moments connected to certain objects, people or places in the home. I would audio-record the interviews.

In the interviews some hosts would address unhappy subjects and share their challenges, sorrows and disappointments. I would not ask for information or details of anything that I thought would be difficult, heavy or traumatic since that was not the subject matter of the piece but when that happened, I would listen but not ask further or go into details of these information. I understood that some facts or information of this kind needed to be a part of the piece because they stick to the everyday life and are a natural part of our bittersweet existence. If there is light you will have a shadow. As an example of how this would emerge in the process was in the case of one of the hosts that had lost her daughter. She only told me that her daughter had passed away when the daughter was in her early twenties. I never knew exactly how the daughter died but the absence of the daughter was so strong that it had a place in the home. That tangible loss, the presence of the absence, became a part of the piece without the details being expressed, they belong only to the host. After the long and deep interviews, I would return to my desk and listen to the material, look at the photographs and write the letters for the hosts. I would concurrently create the tasks, rituals and route through the house. The dramaturgy of each piece was different depending on the size of the house, the number of people living there and the themes and atmospheres that I would sense on site with the hosts. Concrete elements that would return in every piece was an appreciation of what constitutes a family, an imagined dinner, washing of hands, focus on recreational activities, mindfulness practises (noticing sensations and awareness) and expressions of nonhuman perspectives. When I had written a draft of the letters and the rituals, made tasks and created a route through the house I would send the letters to the hosts for them to rewrite or comment. We would then meet for the third session and go through the manuscript together, adding details and finalizing the texts and routes. The rituals needed most attention since they were written in a poetic prose and served the purpose of capturing the nature of an activity and at the same time to be truthful and concrete. Each host made sure that nothing in the letters was false and accepted the obvious act of staging that took place in the texts. Since the tasks and contemplations were a part of my method, I shared my vision with the hosts and asked each of them to contribute with questions or actions they found important. As a minimum there would be one specific question raised by the host in each piece and the gestures would almost all correspond to gestures made by the people in the home. The dramaturgy allows the guest to bring her own narratives and asks of her to fill in the blanks, imagine, create and perform her own version of the piece. Therefore, it was important to leave space in the structure for imagined narratives to unfold, for memories and ideas to emerge, for magic to happen or the sublime to enter like in a Japanese Zen garden. For each guest the affect would be different, depending on their imagination and what they brought with them of ideas and experiences, basically depending on their ability to co-create. One important factor of the dramaturgy worth mentioning is the historical context of when the work took place. It was presented during a global pandemic where majority of the world´s population had been confined to their homes for months.

The pandemic added a new perspective to the very concept of what a home entails and means for people. Originally the piece was partly tailored to the theme of the Festival, Universes, referring to the home as a universe of its own, but during times where the outer world invaded the private worlds and peoples entire lives unfolded within the parameters of the home, the work now evoked new and urgent perspectives. One can argue that this is an aspect of what can be understood as the nature of relational or porous dramaturgies. Here referring to the world situation being a key factor of what the guests brings with them to the work and hence becomes the foundation for how it is decoded. The affect of the work cannot be separated from the experience of living these times. Coming back to the actual dramaturgical tools. I decided to enhance the staging effect by adding an additional aesthetic layer to the composition. This dramaturgical tie was presented through the title of each letter and would contain reference to something physically present in the proximity of the actual letter or as an idea or imagined component. I proposed to each of the hosts that they would pick a theme for the journey through their home connected to their interests. In the first home the host chose essential oils. With each letter the host picked a scent corresponding to the function of the particular space the letter would be in. The scent would be felt in the space through different sources some involving interactivity. In my own home flowers came with each letter, collection of beautiful words in the third piece, postcards in the fifth and song titles in the last one. This extra layer reflected the character of the host and created a coherent theme for each home and an atmospheric effect to the journey. In writing the letters for the hosts, I tried to stay true to their character using their own words from the interviews. When we had worked through all the details of the dramaturgy the idea was that the host would choose the stationary and write the letters by hand. It felt like I was handing over agency to the hosts, by giving them power to influence the aesthetical presentation of the text that we co-created, having their personal mark on the letters that otherwise I had edited. They did not all share this need, and of four participants apart from my self, only one was willing and able to choose and buy the stationary and write the letters. Two of the hosts were not physically able to write the letters and the third had in her own judgement, unreadable handwriting. Instead of writing the whole letters by hand, these hosts would put their handwritten signature on the first and last letter that I had printed on a stationary I had chosen with their consent. The collaboration with the hosts and their closest family and human and nonhuman friends were in my view a substantial part of the actual performance and has as much impact as the following encounters with the guests. These encounters are an important facet of the work and have its own performativity and dramaturgy to it, that in part has been described above. In my view, each phase of

the creation process constitutes a performative part of the whole. Each moment of the process play their part in a series of performative but still genuine encounters between different participants of the performance culminating in the encounter with the spectator where multiple agents are at play. At a later stage in my research, I intend to explore more in depth this aspect of my work, namely the everchanging performativity of the creation process. The encounter with the guests The guests arrive at the host´s door and receive a key to enter the house with a few instructions on how to navigate the piece. The guest is then left alone in the house to perform the piece. Guided by a series of letters through the home, moving from room to room, between different situations, reading fragments of stories, rituals and thoughts about daily life and everyday choices of their hosts. They are invited to observe, perform physical tasks and asked to reflect on their own lives, values and conditions. The experience was solitary – except where the pets of the home would choose to participate. Two editions where open to international guests with optional letters in English. One can say that the spectators are invited to different encounters during their stay in the home. They will certainly have an encounter with their hosts and their kin, their conditions, values and situations. They also have an encounter with the artist through subject matter, the aesthetics and the dramaturgy of the piece and last but not the least, they will encounter themselves, their own narratives, values and rituals. Through the experience the guest is immersed in the scents, colours and sensations the home has to offer, they put themselves in the shoes of their hosts and from within the strangers universe they are asked to look at themselves. There is of course no certainty that the guest will perform the work as suggested by the letters. In fact, the guests can do whatever they like after entering the house. The dramaturgy will always be subject to random elements that the particular guest brings with them of ideas, interests, mood, taste, value, experience, memory, imagination and openness. The work is guaranteed to produce affect and invites the spectators in turn to affect (produce) their own affect. The work is dependent on what and how each guest encounters the circumstances and is a singular experience that contains a complex combination of cognitive and sensorial associations related to that particular person. Here we are entering a discussion on the complexity of affect that will be the subject of my next letter you.

RITUAL II You are sunbathing. The sunrays penetrate your body through your black fur making you steaming hot. The door is open, and you decide to cool down inside. You are startled to see a stranger on the sofa holding a small electric equipment in her hand. She is about to push a red button when she stops to look at you. Your wheeled friend smiles at you with a glimpse in her eyes telling you that everything is OK. You rub your self against your friend and tell her that you are going to rest. The woman presses the red button, and they start to speak. You let the human’s voices hum you to sleep.

TASKS

OBSERVATION Pay attention to your body´s reaction to the text you have been reading. Do these sensations belong to you or the text?

ACTION Create a list of skills or tools that you would like to possess.

CONTEMPLATION In your experience what is the difference between skill and tool, between method and methodology, between art and life?

LETTER THREE AFFECT

Dear reader. We are now entering the core of my research; were I will unravel the affect and potentiality of my artistic methods. You will be exposed to graphs showing collected data and you will be hearing the voices of my spectators and collaborators. I will talk about how the artistic methods affect my spectators and how their experiences inform my practice and create knowledge and potentially new artistic methods. In the letter I address the concept of affect in relation to my practice especially the work No-Show, a series of immersive participatory performances in private homes in Reykjavík in the summer of 2020. I will account for my understanding of the concept and how it manifests in my artistic practice. The letter contains many threads that will not be tied together at this point since I am still at the point of creating openings. To understand the affect of the performance No Show and to find out how particular aspects of my artistic method and aesthetics worked, I gathered data from both the participants and guests about their experience. I decided that I would use different methods that would both give me an overview of the general affect of the performances and also an insight into personal experiences. I created a post performance questionnaire that the majority of the guests of the performance filled in. I recorded audio interviews with the hosts before and after the performances and I also took 18 interviews with 17 guest that had gone through one or more editions of the performance. I will give an account of how the interviews, together with data from the questionnaires, informed the process and created awareness, understanding and new knowledge to me. I will also give a brief insight into how this data informed the following artistic work, The Island, and how I foresee my research method developing. Before I dive into the practice and start to give an account of my findings, I will clarify what I mean by affect, why I think it is relevant and how I see it unfold in my work. The letter has three sections with the headlines: Affect, Questionnaire and Interviews. Affect When I talk about affect, I mean the sensorial and cognitive influences of an experience, that evoke physical sensations, emotions and thoughts. My understanding of affect is inspired by many thinkers that influence me in different ways. I have accepted Donna Haraway´s call of staying with the trouble (2016) , Eve K. Sedgwick is helping me think through the senses (2003) and Deleuze and Guattari’s definitions on percept and affect (1994) have opened my eyes to what the work actually is. The work I am striving to produce is in fact an affect. I can describe the composition, the route or the elements in play in my performances but I will not be able to describe what each spectator defines as being the work. The art and non art are almost inseparable. The experience is sensorial with all the complexity that entails. The full body of the work does not have a pre-designed effect but works differently for each guest encountering the work. It is through being present, touching, feeling, sensing, meditating, acting, reflecting that the spectators generate the work, and it takes shape as an artwork inside them. The artwork is the bloc of sensations and reflections that emerge inside of the

spectator while struggling to travel through the performance and perform tasks such as dance in a wheelchair. This was the case in the edition 105 of No Show, where the spectator is invited to dance to the song, I want to brake free, sung by Freddy Mercury wearing women clothes, in a video playing on the screen of a laptop that is placed on a living room table in a stranger‘s home and there is a black cat observing in bewilderment. The guest here is invited to a complex physical action in a strange environment that triggers multi layered affect, that is both sensory and cognitive. In any given moment there are multiple stimulants that evoke different things in all of us. I have chosen to work with immersive participatory art form where the experience in itself is the artwork, not what I have produced as an artist but the affect of the situation I have invited into. I am staying with the trouble and I am inviting the spectators to stay there to. The boarder between art and non-art is erased and I embrace my loss of control of what the work entails. What I am looking for in my performances are liminal experiences that are potentially revelatory and life changing. Fischer-Lichte, a leading theorist on transformative powers and aesthetics in performance describes the relation between affect and transformation like this: “While the excitement of affects transfers the spectators into a liminal state, catharsis brings about the actual transformation“ (Fischer-Lichte, 2008, p. 191). It is on this correlation of experience, affect and transformation that I focus my attention in my encounter with the guests of No-Show through the interviews. Before we go further, I have to make an important statement: I am an artist researcher, I do not pretend to be social scientist, my readings of the testimonies are subjective, based on my intuition and previous experiences especially from performance making and being a spectator myself. Let me now slip into the lab coat and introduce to you the quantitative data I collected through questionnaires at the performance site and how I interpret the subtracted data. The questionnaires I decided early to create a questionnaire to have a feedback on the staging, the format. The guests of No Show were offered to answer a questionnaire on site straight after their experience. The guests had peace to do this while the employee from the art festival was preparing the home for a new guest. Through the questionnaires I wanted to understand what the guests regarded as being the work, how the work affected them, what emotions did they feel and what parts of the performances made the greatest impact. I wanted to understand if the guests regarded themselves as the subject. I wanted to learn how the guests understood their role as participants in the piece. Also, I wanted to collect some perspectives on the concept How little is enough? by asking if the guests regarded it as a performance or a theatrical experience and if not, what was missing. 76 guests filled out the questionnaire that was anonymous. (See Questionnaire in appendix). I have created graphs from the result that I will interpret before we move to the more in-depth perspectives of single voices. As a performing artist I thoroughly enjoy the performativity of these graphs, for me they are highly informative, but I also find them extremely playful.

The staging To the question if the guests regarded the work as a performance or theatre, 66 of 76 answered yes and only one did not think this was staging, 9 were not sure. For my research these findings are affirmative since the question on how much production is needed to create a stage performance is central to my research and my artistic method. Together with supporting data from the interviews where I ask specifically about the staging, this information gives me knowledge about the theatrical affect of the artistic method that I can use in future performances. The interviews entail more details of what the guests regard as being staging or theatrical, such as a story, a new world, dramaturgical structure, arrangements or composition. The data suggests that what was produced in No Show was enough to evoke a sense of performance. Here expressed with the words of one of the guests: “It was so incredibly casual and yet very impressive, just with little things that do a lot.” The participation and the participant There is a twofold question on participation and

Do you consider yourself as a participant ?

the role of the participant. Firstly, I ask the guests if they consider themselves to be participants

were 69 answered with a definite yes. There is no doubt that the work invites its guests to

Yes

Not Sure

participate. The second one is if they consider the piece to be

about themselves. Here we see a distinctive divide. To this question some guests even gave two answers, both yes and no. 41 answered that the piece was about them and 30 did not think so and 10 guests where not sure. This suggests that there is more to this point, something that cannot be expressed with a definite answer. In the interviews

Do you ﬁnd the piece is about you?

I asked people about how much of the piece was about the host and how much of the piece was

about themselves and what they shared with the host. The result to that question (see picture in the

interview section) shows a mixed view. The answer seems to depend on how much you relate

Yes

Not sure

personally to the host and also on what you consider as being the work. I guess that this last point, what is the actual artwork, will affect how you perceive your role as participant and how relevant you

regard your personal story to the artwork. This is a topic that needs more focus and I foresee being a central thing in coming questionnaires and interviews for my future works. Who are the guests? I wanted to know how familiar the guests were to

How often do you attend site speciﬁc performances

participatory site-specific performances as I imagined it could affect how they navigate the work and also what they consider being the work. Majority of the guests were

familiar with this type of performances and I did not 16

detect any significant differences in the answers from

often

Sometimes

I happens

Very rarely

Never, this is ﬁrst time

guest with different experiences of theatre and performance.

Emotions One way of measuring affect is to ask about felt emotions, this I did. I am interested in creating a positive affect, that re-enforces the guests understanding of what they consider quality of life. Positive affect is not only created by positive emotional responses, but as I understand it, by affirming sentiments, appreciation, understanding, connection and belonging. Emotions are complex and can be double sided and can evoke memories and hidden components. The guests could mark one or more emotion from a list of 11 different emotions and guests could add relevant emotions in an empty space. The selection of emotions is based on my special interest and do not reflect a system or a theory. I will not attempt to understand the full scope of what the answers might imply. For me as an

What emotion did the work evoke in you? Curiosity

Wellbeing

Joy

Trust

Acceptance

Vulnerability

Sorrow

Irritation

Insecurity

Fear

Anger

artist, it is interesting to understand what emotions are present in my work and try to make use of this information in my artistic methods. The interpretations are both subjective and speculative. A general conclusion is

that the work evoked mostly positive emotions. Curiosity, wellbeing, joy, trust and acceptance had the highest scores of the 11 emotions presented in the questionnaire. After these emotions came sorrow and vulnerability.

Looking at the overall picture with the addition of the specific emotions that guest contributed with, the work seems, in general terms, to evoke emotions of wellbeing and joy, it also seems to evoke positive emotions towards the host such as trust and curiosity, and even emotions that can belong to empathy such as sorrow, vulnerability and acceptance. Written comments on the questionnaires suggests that the sensation of being trusted with the home had a great impact on guests, this is also supported in the interviews. It seems like being trusted has an affirming affect that urges one to be worth the trust. Next to these affirming emotions are vulnerability and sorrow. These emotions can suggest that guests are touched beyond the surface and might imply a certain existential notion. The answers differ slightly from home to home, that might suggest that the type of home and information given evokes more or less sombre feelings since the sombre emotions appear more in the homes where the hosts share experiences of loss

108, Búland Curiosity

Wellbeing

Joy

Trust

Acceptance

Vulnerability

Sorrow

Irritation

Insecurity

Fear

Anger

and struggle. 111, Asparfell

101, Klapparstígur Curiosity

Wellbeing

Joy

Trust

Acceptance

Vulnerability

Sorrow

Irritation

Curiosity

Wellbeing

Joy

Trust

Acceptance

Vulnerability

Sorrow

Irritation Insecurity

Insecurity

Fear

Anger

105, Hátún

101, Framnesvegur Curiosity

Curiosity

Wellbeing

16 7

Joy

Trust

Acceptance

Vulnerability

Sorrow

Irritation

Insecurity

Fear

Anger

At this point I want to quote one of my interviewees, lets call her Sally, talking about emotional affect of the piece in comparison to what she sees as a symptom of our times: So much of arts just create any sensations [that is] why there is often so much of a splatter and rape scene and all sorts, just somehow to shock, just to create “any” emotion instead of nurturing the beautiful feelings and constructive feelings and the all-encompassing feelings and the warm feelings. (Sally) I agree with Sally in her appreciation of these warm and encompassing feelings in favour of more invasive power of violence and trauma. Looking at my data, it looks like I have succeeded to evoke these more affirmative emotions in No Show. What made the most impact From the questionnaires I collected over 80 written answers to the question “was there a part of the performance that made most impact on you?”. As expected, the answers were very different, and each guest related personally to specific things. Also, guests related to aspects of the work that evoked strong emotional response, e.g., recognition or empathy. The most common comment was “To be trusted with the home” and strong emotional affect, like love or sorrow, “The bathroom - the thoughts about love” and “The girl on the wall, the picture of Flateyri, the childhood.” Many guests also mentioned that having your name written on the dining table had a strong impact of acceptance and relatedness, like being a part of something. “To enter the flat in the chair and to see my name on the table, it triggered a lot of emotions”. The comments are a valuable tool for me in developing my artistic methods further, to better understand the impact of certain elements, situations and arrangements. One affirmative aspect of special value to me was the mention of care in the work “The letters and the care that they presented.” This comment resonated also with many of the interviewees where they describe a sense of warmth and tenderness that they felt through the letters and how the home was prepared. This I cherish and want to pursue in my future works. This type of questionnaire is a kind of quality check that gives me a quick indication of how the piece works. The interviews Since my research is on affect and the transformational potential of my works, I needed to conduct interviews with my spectators. I later felt that this became an important and powerful part of the work for those who participated. Through the interviews I wanted to understand what happens to people while experiencing the work and after. I was interested in the details of the personal experience. The 17 subjects were from age 19 years old to 69, both men and women that had volunteered by writing their name on a list after answering the questionnaire on the site of the performance. One

person I interviewed twice. From 17 interviewees, 10 were artists or culture workers. I picked out the people from a long list of interested spectators. From the list I chose 4 to 5 people from each edition of the performance, people of different backgrounds, sex and age. Some of the interviews were conducted straight after the experience, others later and up to six weeks after the performance took place. The interviews were all around 30 minutes and were semi-structured. In a semi-structured interview, the researcher asks a few open questions and lets the responses the interviewee gives inform what questions are asked next. The interviews were made in a quiet place of the interviewee‘s choice, in my home, their home or at a cafe or hotel lobby. I began with an open question; asking the interviewee to describe their experience in general terms. Based on their descriptions I then asked them directly about their reactions to different aspects of the piece, certain moments or elements of my method. I then asked how likely they thought it was that the experience would affect their mindset and/or behaviour and we would discuss in more general terms about methods of theatre and performance and their general attitude towards different theatrical approaches. I asked each person what the piece was about and if they found the piece more about the host or the guest, themselves. I did not ask the guests if they liked the work and did not seek affirmative responses. As the author of the work conducting the interviews, I was aware of the risk of trying to influence the answers and tried the best to avoid judgement and stay with detailed descriptions of their experiences. Since the interviews were taken along the way while I was still making works, I had the opportunity to experiment with details in the work responding to the data I was collecting. The interviewees are all anonymous and appear in the text with pseudonyms. The interviews were conducted in Icelandic. I transcribed the interviews accurately and after several readings, made a selection of texts that I translated to English and analysed further. I detected many recurrent themes that I am currently processing and will now present to you. First, I will introduce a theme that relates to the different aspects of solitude, then a theme that relates to the work being a catalyst of change. A larger territory is how the guests relate to the content, that I divide into four sub themes: the host as a role model, the guest as subject, guest identifying with the host, and abstract experience. I will present themes on sensations, care and connection and themes that relate to the subject of the work and what the guest brings to the piece. THE GUESTS The many sides of solitary experience In the first interviews I conducted after the second edition of No Show, there were already important findings that would immediately affect how I proceeded with the work and also influenced how I approached my later work Island, that I was creating concurrently. These first findings relate to the fact that the performance is a solitary experience and is unique to each guest. This solitary experience comes with specific aspects to it. One guest described the feeling like this:

When you are alone, you allow yourself other, stronger emotions, you allow yourself to surrender to it, you do not have exactly the same fences, the same restrictions around you, I am not talking about movements or anything like that, I am talking about emotions and what goes through you, you allow yourself to experience, exactly the same as if you are experiencing something in nature, something very beautiful in nature, then you are experiencing maybe, e.g. in this work some kind of nature too, yes this is nature. (Albert) The experience has specific potentials as other guests also described to me: they had more influence over the situation, they could control the pace and they could choose to skip tasks and revisit scenes etc. and give themselves the permission to dwell. It was also just privacy; you are naturally alone with yourself and your thoughts and affects and that was also one of the things […] that I was so grateful for, to have this privacy to allow the emotions and thoughts to go off like that. (Gloria) Another aspect to being alone is that you do not have another person to talk to about the experience. “It's not often, that you're just alone, it's a completely different experience and it was too, you know, I knew someone was going two days later, well, I was pretty excited, and it was hard not to be able to talk about this. [...] I just had to figure out what I really felt without being influenced by anyone else or anything [...] so, there I had to work on this all by myself, somehow ...” (Anne) The many comments I got on the solitude and what I understood of what comes with sharing an experience with another person or persons made me change my dramaturgical strategies for Island. So, in the work Island, the guest enters the work as a part of a small group and is in close contact and in interaction with other people throughout the experience. Another important aspect of being able to share your experience has to do with dissemination of what happens and the awareness of the affect the work has on you and the potential transformation. I'm sure this work has a much bigger impact on me right now because I've been talking to you so much about it. … …There is something about sharing an experience with others that makes the experience a little stronger or can do it. (Angela)

The work as a whole, stimulates me most here at this table in these afterthoughts and maybe you know, too to say it out loud or understand what I mean. It stimulated me then and there but its like I am feeling the stimulus here and now. (Bella) Many of my interviewees talked about the urge to discuss the experience with others, that they became more aware of the affect if they had the opportunity to discuss their experience with others. Talking about the experience made them aware of details in the work that they had not paid attention to while in it and also made them conscious about where the affect originated from. This gives me an insight into how people process the work and what they believe has an impact on them. For some, the questionnaire provided an opportunity to go through the experience and start to process the affect. This recurrent theme in the interviews made me understand that for a work to really grow on you it needs to be revisited and processed through communication of some sorts. Another aspect of the solitude is the guests lack opportunity to communicate back to the host that has a voice through the letters. In the first two editions the guest did not have any opportunity to communicate with the hosts. This is such a gift and I accept it and I can not directly thank her for it you know, I really feel that it is missing, it was so emotional, I felt like a bit rude somehow. (Bella) The only way the guests had to show their gratitude was through the questionnaires. Many guests expressed a longing to communicate with the hosts or at least be able to do something in return for the hospitality. An element in the first two editions was to invite the guests to write a list, a note to themselves, inside the work and take it home with them. I decided to change that to inviting the guest to write something for the host instead and leaving it behind. This I tried in two editions of the work. I found this somehow beautiful, but I also found it incredibly difficult but still it was good to write her a message [...] Hopefully she got something out of that. I hope so at least. (Ella) To hear about the word box and to be able to contribute to that (anonymous answer to What made the most impact on you?)

Catalyst of change In retrospect, I think there is value in both leaving a note to the host and writing a note to yourself that you come back to after the experience. A note that you take with you makes you revisit the work and can act as an enabler for deeper affect or even drive to action. My brother and his wife, they have been picking up their notes quite often since then and just think, hmm, “just here you see, what do you think about this or I'm been thinking about this. (Sally) Here we could talk about that a physical object from the piece has become a catalyst for change, other objects can be less tangible but be still as effective. Sally shared with me how her family decided to go together to see No Show. They were 10 people that visited edition 101 City Centre. and then they organised a dinner party where the shared their experience. Later they went to see edition 101, West town. Everyone who was at the dinner party talked about how they wanted to reorganize their home [...] everyone wanted to create more cosiness at home, everyone wanted to find more peace. I find it incredibly remarkable that you create a work so that people want to change their home, because they saw your work. (Sally) Creating a sense of awareness or moving the spectator to action is the desired outcome. Here it seems to manifest in the way these spectators are inspired to rethink and redesign their living spaces in order to improve their quality of life. Since the works are performed in homes with a focus on daily rituals, everyday situations and the small details of daily life, most guests can easily reflect and relate to the content. There was just somehow such great beauty in the little things. (Bill) I have a hard time with everyday life somehow, I find it the hardest part of life and still it is such a big part, so, […] I took it further with me, you know, everyday life is so crazy, especially if you are reading about someone else's everyday life, because then you can imagine and create, you can still somehow, change your own, or see your own, often you just keep going without contemplating anything in what one is doing or one way or another, so I think most in this work, what I take with me [...] these little things are so very important. (Anne)

The hosts became role models or examples of how one can perform these daily rituals and the work also provides the context and puts things in perspectives of value systems and life situations. The values and behaviours of the hosts easily become contagious. She was so inspiring. To just understand how she sees all the good in things and how she takes full advantage of what she has but, yeah, this was just amazing, just unbelievably inspiring. (Johanna) I was immediately inspired e.g., of one thing in this home […] was the dinnerware that was handmade, and handmade for this family, there was something there that I felt something so amazing. I thought why I have not long ago started to make my own dishes for my [family] you take the time to nurture these everyday things [...] make them precious. (Gloria) I've been thinking for a long time about wanting to work with either elderly people or children or something, [...] be some volunteer, work with people who have a harder time living life and this could just be something that, at least it was like something that helped me, maybe direct my thinking [...] I'm finally going to do something. (Bill) Half a year later, this young man was indeed working with children and found it important and meaningful. Another spectator described how she started playing the ukulele after writing it down when asked in the work to make a note listing things she wanted to learn, and taking it with her, expressing how the note pushed her into taking the first step. Four ways of relating to the content In the interviews people described how they related to and were affected by the content, the hosts or the experience. I can divide these experiences into four categories; the host as a role model, the guest as the subject, the guest identifies with the host and abstract experience. The host as a role mode: For many guests the host became either a role model, as described above, or a relatable person that the guest could recognise themselves through: I really connected with the fact that she's a former nurse or something, yeah, yeah, I'm there now, or something like that, we were like pals, and her values were so

healthy. So just being here, creating a sanctuary for her children and grandchildren and that was enough for her, she felt like the big bedroom was to big, she needed less. If she manages to be a sanctuary, then she's satisfied, there's something like that that I found so beautiful, I [...] was a little spellbound, like, she was such a role model, a mentor, a lesson, what I needed so much. (David) Here David both relates to the host and sees her as a mentor, a double hook that I think can amplify the affect. The guest as subject: Many guests described how they were confronted with themselves, with their predetermined judgements, inner thoughts, values and experiences: I can be quite frank with the fact that I have been wondering […], should we say that this way: I looked at my Breiðholt (name of the neighbourhood of edition Reykjavík, 111) prejudices through this work ... so I think that, if anything, my prejudices about Breiðholt diminished. (Michael) It affected me (...) to sense that maybe people, people I see, just the guy who was helping, as soon as I met him again, I thought, yes, he's in a car like that, yes, I think he is of foreign origin, so I immediately start thinking about him, not only the first thought, but also, I expanded my ideas about people, I think, at least, first afterwards… ... more such acceptance of people that it is, it is much bigger, much more complex, much bigger. I think so. It had that affect. (Albert) What is described here is profound revelations about the other. Both Michael and Albert spoke about changing their views on people, they acknowledge how they confront their own ideas. Other guest expressed similar changes. But as Albert says that it affected him “at least first afterwards.” This is a significant remark since I think that the longer the affect lasts determines the power of transformation. The guest identifies with the host: The third category is learning something new through the story of another, like you are putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, identifying with them.

When I looked out the window in the kitchen, I was supposed to notice some movement [...] it is hard to describe the feeling, but it was like looking into the future somehow [...] like me, like old looking out the window… I experienced myself so old and it's so interesting [...] it kind of stayed with me because I'm just young, I'm just turning nineteen, I never think about anything when I get old [...] and also the feeling that I could possibly loose someone, my child or something like that [...] you never think about it when you're young, it's at least very rare so that, yes. Maybe this experience of being old, it's so insane, I have just never experienced this before. (Alice) You're seeing someone's world, and this is not directly your world, but some other world you are seeing into and it can let you feel some emotions whether it's sadness, happiness, I mostly just felt some kind of happiness… …I went into her world but still I was not her but somehow, I ... I was not me, but I was some kind of version of me. (Bill) Of course, [...] this was a real person who lives there, you are experiencing a certain story, it's like you have you are in a novel or a movie or something but it's really real. Right, it was really weird it was like you felt like you were on a set or something, but it still is not, it's just someone's reality, which, it was very interesting you know and also just you know, it just underscores that everyone has their story. (Fanny) Identifying with another person is the classical approach to theatre. Seeing a story unfold and imagining it was you. In this work the experience intensifies with the “reality” of the setting, like Fanny describes. The abstract experience: The fourth category is where the experience is more abstract and has an affect like when experiencing nature. It was simple, it was physical, and it was a description of the phenomenon stairs, it was very strong somehow, and this intermediate state, liminal space to be there, out in the corridor, to be in a kind of nowhere, and this action to bend the knees, incredibly beautiful somehow, feel the weight of the body somehow and yes, it was a really cool opening somehow into the work and how you were a spectator as a body. [...] I somehow became part of the environment, somehow like that, it was

just my consciousness, this witness, that you see in dreams or that is looking, looking at one's dreams, there was some kind of rupture. (Jimmy) To walk into a piece like this is like walking up a mountain or some nature situation, a nature scene, it does not come to you unless you, unless you surrender, you have to be here, you can not wait to be fed, you have to be like this, you must not have too many filters for the affect you are exposed to, it is completely true of nature observation just like this, that you have to come in with an open mind and in fact just accept what you think and experience [...] without filtering it too much. and that, of course, applies to everyone, and maybe this kind of performance, is maybe closer to the theatre to the point that [...] you have to accept the magic, otherwise it's just a man with makeup on stage, a smoking mirror, you have to go into the story and accept it [...] you have to sit back in the chair in the living room up there in Asparfell and take it in, this is where it meets the experience of nature, you must come with open senses. (Michael) I can completely see myself being affected by this experience like when I go out into nature. To see the vision directly, face to face, not on a screen but here, that too, moves me. (Eve) For this abstract affect to function the person needs to allow the affect to take hold, like Michael describes, you need to “surrender” and “you have to accept the magic”. Physical engagement These four different ways of relating to a content and being affected can co-exist in a multi layered experience. As mentioned above the affect is created through sensorial experience in combination with cognitive perception. Most of the guests that I interviewed talked about the strong impact of physical engagement, the doing, the sensing and the entire interactive aspect of the experience. You came closest in these homes when you touched the floor, barefoot in one of the homes, and in the wheelchair. There was some contact, there you somehow got in touch - but always in fact as an observer of another's life, the life of others. (Carl)

Now I remember all the actions somehow but like e.g., the contemplations and what was the other thing again…. (- observation) yes, exactly [...] now I do not remember what that was … …I find that one of the most interesting things about this work, how you as an active participant somehow feel much stronger than if you were just seeing this [...] or you were just a passive spectator, yes. (Fanny) Care, trust and vulnerability Another important factor that seems to affect the guests is the feeling of hospitality and connection. The majority of the guests I spoke to describe a feeling of being seen and cared for and things being prepared with care and attention to detail. The one detail that almost all mentioned was the nametag on the dinner table. To be mentioned by your name is a crucial factor that I was hoping that would have an impact on the guests, and it did. It's this personification, your name on tag at the table [...] it gives the feeling that you are, or I felt, I was part of the work. (Michael) I felt welcome, because, you know, your name was there, somehow, not just a guest or something but completely, the name, my arrival had been prepared for. (Anne) I thought it was nice to sit at the table [...] I chose a seat and then I first saw that my name was on a card exactly by the seat I had chosen, this was so funny and pleasant. It felt kind of beautiful to be one of the group, one of the family. This is such a magic, suddenly seeing the card with your name… …I felt welcomed, warmth, intimacy, affection it's like it was beautifully wrapped, I appreciated that and yes, no, no, I was just led into something, it was not staged, more like a gift, a present. (Charlotte) I felt like this was you embracing us with your tenderness so we could be more us. (Sally) Another central theme was trust. Majority of the interviewees mention how being trusted had a powerful impact. To be given a key instead of someone else opening a door for a you […] there you become so aware of some decision […] you are given both some kind of trust and

responsibility and such and you take it or, so it is as kind of agreement on something. (Bella) I just think like that, because you are so trusted in the house, you want to be trustworthy somehow, you do not want to betray anyone, you just want to be a decent citizen, this came so strong over me. (Anne) I am trusted with the home as I am just a stranger visiting a home that is empty and this is where I enter. I immediately felt like this, it was immediately something that had such an affect […] I was immediately [...] humble… …One is somehow safe but at the same time vulnerable and perhaps precisely vulnerable because one feels safe [...] vulnerable and secure at the same time. I found it interesting to find it. (Gloria) In this last comment Gloria mentions here vulnerability and safety as being two sides of the same coin. One could describe vulnerability as a kind of openness and here she relates that to being safe. Being safe allows you to be open and thus vulnerable. I am starting to believe that this sense of safety together with a sensation of belonging might be the precondition for the openness that is required for a transformation. When I asked Charlotte, who is a practising psychologist, what she thought was the key factor in helping her clients in transforming their life she answered: I think that a kind of warmth and caring communication and to share [...] be truthful, do not hide anything, and no fireworks, I think it is effective. I also use it in my treatment, I share, it is not always beautiful what I share. We have all sorts of thoughts, they are not all noble, politically correct, beautiful or... I find it so liberating for the next person. To realize that everyone has all kinds, and everyone has their struggle. (Charlotte) Here I have mentioned three significant features that I find important to my practice of creating potentially transformative experiences; firstly, to create a safe and caring environment that allows you to open up, secondly to create a personal relationship with the guest, see them and care for them with sincere affection, thirdly to share with them something personal, daring to be imperfect.

Who is the subject of the piece? I have claimed that the work is what happens inside of each guest, both the experience itself and what the guest brings to the work or the work lures to the light from the guests past or set of values and perspectives into the experience. To understand if the guest recognised themselves being a subject of the piece, I asked how much of the work was about the host and how much about the guest and the things they shared with the host. I asked them to divide the work in percentages between them and the host. As you can see in the picture, the answers are very individual and from the 17 interviewees, only two agree on the work being 50/50, which is the average outcome if the answers are merged. I have an interest to create a heightened awareness of spectators about themselves during the work and these findings suggest to me that the degree of awareness is very individual. In future works I will pay attention to how I can strengthen the facilitation of self awareness. But all of my interviewees agreed that they brought something to the work. It is probably impossible not to bring your values and your worldview to any experience, like Jimmy says: I'm fully aware that I see the world through me with all my prejudices and experiences and so to speak, my formatting, I see the world completely, the world is just me, I see it through my upbringing and all […] It's a good question: Where does the work end and where do I start. Is the work reflexology, one presses some points in me that...? (Jimmy) What David brought with him into the piece is more concrete: I had the wrong time, so I came too early and then all of a sudden, I was in a stairwell and people were walking past, it was just all kinds of smells and people from all over the world [...] from Asia and obviously from the east bloc and Icelanders, and a bad smell and a good one, and an overpowering smell and I thought: this is a powerful intro. […] So, this is my story more, and the reason I

connect with these smells, weird smells and something like that, is because I'm used to these smells from my childhood block, that's my story. (David) Where does the work start and where does it end? There are things that are obviously intended as the part of the work such as the situation of each piece, the zip code, so to speak. But the details of what this entails is what the guest determines when he encounters the work. In the example above David sees the smells as being a part of the work and these smells bring out memories that belong to him and are important to who he is and where he comes from, even his value system. There were many guests that mentioned how the work turned ON in them, changing their view on what surrounded them, as Jimmy describes here: You surrender completely into this space, the theatre, or this side reality, or this portal that art is, when you just open it, there is so little really needed between life and death or here yes, life and art, [...] to go into this, this world, just press the ON button just turn it on. This is what happened when I turned my car into Framnesvegur. (Jimmy) Jimmy described in great detail a long scene that for him was a part of the performance that he experienced sitting in his car waiting to be let into the home. Other guests also described similar experiences where they described people, situations, smells and sights in proximity to the work, before or after the actual work took place. What I hear them describe is being fully present with their senses open, attentive to the surroundings in a magical mode. This relates to the point from before when Michael spoke about the necessity to surrender. People bring all sorts of things into the piece, such as residues of a bad day at the office or the mood of a world situation that shifts the entire worldview like Bella described to me: I went into a mode like this, a mode like the one you are these days, not least in light of all sorts of things, you know world events, and status and something like that, that I felt like this, like this huge privilege. What surprised me was that it provoked me so much [...] it has nothing to do with the people who live there. Coming almost from Austurvöllur (parliament Square), from a protest march or something. But this, when I mention this mode, I think that it is because you only get a beautiful picture. I remember the experience. You are not presented with anyone's struggle story. (Bella)

In this case the outside world situation invaded the whole experience and changed momentarily the perspectives of the guest. What Bella describes are important political events, but smaller issues can affect as easily. The guest can bring anything into the work and there is no control over what becomes a part of the work and what not, potentially everything can: You were just alone in this and were just experiencing something completely alone while in the movies or in a theatre you can disconnect yourself, you can just go watch yourself, look down on you, “yes, I have some dirt on the pants,” but here everything is connected, so you somehow, all of a sudden everything is part of the same, for some time, in these twenty to thirty minutes, somehow you are all in this. (Bill) Filling the gaps The guests not only come with their worldviews and perspective, stories and value system but they are also given the responsibility to create a whole image of the fragments of information that is given to them through the letters and by the surroundings. The text is very limited, and you just “Take it away”. Your mind just starts spinning. As I may have said more than once that you always start to wonder what is true and what is a lie, what is a staging and what is reality and are there any boarders in it between, it's so hard to set boundaries and define something, what's true and what's not true. Everything is partly lying and partly true. (Carl) You get a lot of information in a way, because we tend to draw our own conclusions. If someone tells you [...], here I live, I'm so old, I've been doing this during my days, my family is made up of this and this: From relatively little information, you draw all sorts of conclusions about what has, what has happened. (Michael) This is of course a study, I'm researching this person, this is of course a study of her and a study of my reactions to her that I found exciting because, because I kind of control where it goes. (Albert) The guest creates the work, it is her that brings together the bits and creates of it a whole, a melange of what a single person can become aware of in 30 minutes encountering a stranger’s home.

I found it so amazing how one small letter can somehow open up a lot for a person, just the connection between this letter and where you are, both the home, where you are in this home, and also where you are yourself as a guest. This home, a guest in this life that you are only getting to know and, in a way, somehow, where you are in your own life and this kind of volatility in between, my life, the life of these people in this house and this flickered there. (Gloria) Having experienced these interviews and listened to these testimonies I realised how important it was for these people to have the opportunity to share their experiences in detail. I felt somehow that I was witnessing a transformation in progress and I understood that the revelatory moment was not during the performance but came with the reflection on what the guest had experienced. The experience created an urge to continue to deepen the experience by sharing it with someone. This points to the conclusion that the transformation not only needs both body and mind (physical experience and reflection) but proximity and distance as well. The ultimate transformative encounter happens when the actual performance is over, and the spectator leaves the arena with the affect inside to be further developed into something new. In my experience the post performance interviews acted as this catalyst or as recognition of the impact of the experience in some cases. Majority of my interlocutors expressed an appreciation of the interview being helpful and revelatory, that they remembered more and understood more in detail what had affected them and how it remained with them unconsciously and consciously from the time experienced. This is one of the most important discoveries I made during the process. These testimonies will continue to be a source of discovery. There are still many threads to be picked up and weaved into my artistic practice. THE HOSTS The work did not only affect the guests, but also the hosts. I had chosen hosts from different layers of society, all women, a fact that dawned on me in the midst of the process. The hosts did not have particular expectations to the work and expressed curiosity and trust in me as an artist, and the fact that the work was programmed by the Reykjavik Art Festival contributed to the trust they had for the project. One explained her motivation for participating like this:

I like what art does, because it breaks up everyday life, and I not only find it enjoyable but necessary. I feel it is very necessary that things are not always as monotonous as life is. It's just a new perspective on what others are doing and what I'm doing, through the arts [...] and I feel it's necessary - not just a bonus to life but a part of life and necessary. Generally, they felt positive about the process and the outcome. I had not formed any opinions beforehand, because I was just going to see how it developed before, I formed any opinion. I did not have any expectations. But it all came out very well. I think I'm very grateful for the work, it was a bit of a mystery trip, I did not know where it was going and when you created the text from the interview, I got a really warm feeling. I found it incredibly beautiful how you could see my story and how you experienced it and put it into words. I often find it hard to share this story and it was like a maze to me but then you came up with this and it was just somehow beautiful and simple and clear, […] so there came kind of warmth with your text and security too. It was a very beautiful and enjoyable experience to get into this little adventure. The process created more awareness of the host´s values and life situation, and evoked sensations of gratitude and appreciation of privilege. You know, you go through everyone's movements, everyone's rituals, […] how we are and how we behave and here, yes, it's has become more tangible everything you do. […] and now I'm just looking at these rituals, they are there, things become visible that were […] unconscious before. ... I feel a real privilege and am very aware of it because it certainly is not like that everywhere. So, to speak, quite yes, yes, it came back to me quite many times, wow, how lucky I am. my husband got a lot out of it, he was all into it and could somehow dwell in the work, [...] what did he say again [that it was] just very clear, the form, structure of everything and he felt the content had a great impact, he felt it had a great and strong effect on him. To see himself through me then also, and through his own

home, to be able to be a spectator in his own home [...] he thought it was just amazing. As the work focuses on quality of life and affirmative emotions the hosts saw their own homes and life stories in a new light that had a great impact on them: You know, I must mention it, that I felt shame for many years to be an immigrant and ashamed to have this story - to come here, to look for work, to look for work for my family, and to try to save everyone, such an unease that that came with all this. As I get older, this is diminishing, this immigrant shame I experienced. I thought, to get such positive attention, that is was dignifying, I got back a kind of security. What you write is very positive, positive about me and my home or family and I think I, that it has given me a lot, because basically I am rather negative towards myself, so that it has given me a lot to get such a positive image. The hosts describe a mostly positive experience of having people into their homes since they feel that the work is not only about them but is somehow important in a wider context. They expressed gratitude towards the guest and their notes left behind. They are all very positive. I found it very amusing, they do not know me personally but yes, good to read, because then you feel, the work gets more value, or worth. This is a valuable encouragement. It is just quite unique to get such comments in the notes, rewarding and beautiful comments. The overall conclusion in regard to the work´s affect on the host, is that the work had a significant impact on them as well as the guests. The process as a whole heightened the hosts’ awareness of their values and opened their eyes to the important role of everyday rituals and routines for wellbeing and quality of life, in similar way as to the guests. In general, the hosts gained new perspectives by seeing their life through a positive but still profound lens and in some cases the process had a healing affect. I think that the time the hosts stayed with the project played a role, as well as the ongoing personal sharing that found place in the collaboration between myself and each person. The work was somehow constantly present to them during the whole creation process and beyond, as the artwork was situated in their homes, imbedded in the fabrics of their life. Whereas the

guests experience was ephemeral and more precarious in terms of how long lasting the impact would last. I am only starting my research and already so many doors have opened to me. I am overwhelmed with new impressions and information about my artistic practice and I see ahead of me a long journey of more explorations and findings. Again, I want to emphasise that I am an artist, not a social scientist or a philosopher. I use tools and theories from other fields of study to understand and analyse my artistic methods, not to create or shed a light on sociological or philosophical theories. I am grateful for how the tools and theories from other fields inform my research. These testimonies manifest to me the complexity of a single experience and how potent a porous dramaturgy can be, where you as an artist balance between control and loss of control in an artwork instigated by you and yet runs off on a course of its own, not only in one direction, but multiple directions, as many as the persons encountering it. Through these findings that I have encountered and my interpretations of them, I am able to further develop my artistic methods. One important finding is that the format I am developing and testing out that is based on the concept, How little is enough? does seem to work and allows for steps towards further reduction. There is ample space to reduce the production, giving the guests more space to generate the work. Based on my findings, I now have an urge to create an opportunity for the guest to revisit the work and to disseminate the affect in a close proximity to the experience. I intend to develop new formats for having genuine communication in the work and I will also take seriously the guests need for being safe and being seen. Toward these goals I have already taken some steps in the work Island that I will disseminate in my 50% intermediate seminar. For now, I want to end this letter on affect with the words of Gloria that experienced No Show, edition 101, City Centre in June 2020: I guess it touched me, just deep somehow to experience this, this vibration, often harmony of these feelings and thoughts that I connected with from my life, also some things that were maybe a little bit alien to me and I feel that are not maybe necessarily present in my life but like that yes, in fact still […] I identified with and live in yes, […] then in the end the doorbell rang and then I was so awake. (Gloria) In my next letter I will focus on my experience of co-creation and participation from the perspective of ethics.

RITUAL III You walk into a home of a stranger; you open the door with a key that was given to you. An overwhelming smell of another person’s life penetrates your nervous system sending signals of nostalgia and melancholy to your body and mind. You feel like an intruder or a thief even though you were welcomed by the houseowner. It is not the first time you feel like an imposter. The absence of the family makes you think of time and reminds you of the conditions of life, impermanence. What comes, goes. “The first moments of this experience are already the past”, you say out loud into the empty entrance hall.

TASKS

OBSERVATION Observe how time flows.

ACTION Write a list of things that you would like to change.

CONTEMPLATION What is occupying your nervous system? What is occupying your brain? Is your mind in agreement with your body?

LETTER FOUR ETHICS

Dear colleague, ethics are imbedded in every single aspect of my work as an artist and as a researcher. In this letter I will start to address some of the ethical urgencies that inform and reform my artistic practice and research. I will share with you experiences and thoughts about co-creation and agency in the work No-Show. At the core of the project is the encounter. The moment of encounter is where ethics are relevant. Encounters means a meeting that happens unexpectedly, were you are confronted with something you did not anticipate. It is in this unexpected situation that I situate my artistic research. In my performances I bring spectators to places were they are invited to witness real life conditions, situations, fragmented narratives of a host or hosts, private persons or communities. For the spectator the significant moment is not necessarily the actual encounter with the host but the encounter that is experienced through their host with themselves, their own ideas, choices and personal values. It is in the very moment when someone accidentally bumps into something or someone and is profoundly touched, that the ethical stakes are high. Trying to construct those moments through art makes the ethical stakes even higher. The ethical relation to my audience I will leave to a later date but in this letter, I will focus on my encounter with my co-creators and start to unfold the ethical implications of co-creation and care. In my work No-Show, solitary immersive work in 5 private homes in Reykjavík, I experienced an ethical demanding situation trying to negotiate responsibility with a less privileged and less able collaborator. This is a case of a young woman in a wheelchair with CP disorder (Cerebral palsy). She lives in a social housing for people with disabilities which became the site of the performance. In No Show 5 people invited guests into their homes where they would share fragments of their stories, conditions and values for the guest to reflect upon. The format for the mediation was handwritten letters to the guest from the host, that would be absent during the visit. In my encounter with this collaborator, I found my self in ethically challenging situations. At the onset of our collaboration, I immediately sensed the divide in privilege and ability between us. She had much respect for me, and I gradually understood how easy it would be to cross her boundaries. The power dynamic was inherent in our positions, embedded in the social fabric and was not specific to the circumstances. She was eager to meet my demands and was very positive about all aspects of the work and said yes to all my suggestions without hesitation or reflection. I felt that I had to take extra care of pointing out possible negatives of participating in the project. We spoke about inviting strangers into her home and sharing her story with the public. She was adamant to participate and expressed an urgency to inform people about her situation. She suggested that the guest would navigate the performance in the wheelchair and put themselves in her place. The format of the work was already to invite the guest to re-enact everyday rituals and perform tasks in the home, observe and reflect on their own reactions to the fragmented narratives, life conditions and life principles of the host.

I felt a strong urge to take care of her and protect her beyond my role as a collaborator, being a mother of three I identified my urges as “mothering”. I had imagined that she could write by hand the personal letters but in fact she struggled just signing the letters that I had written on my computer and printed out. In the process I felt an urge to scrutinize how she was represented in the work. I worked hard creating a strong image of her in the letters by highlighting her abilities and positive attitude to life. I also took the responsibility for the state of her home by turning up an hour before each performance and do the dishes, clean surfaces, open windows and make sure everything looked tidy. This did not even enter my mind with the hosts I had previously worked with. Our collaboration was different because of our different abilities. This situation highlighted certain aspects of my role. It became clear to me that these factors had been at play with other hosts but were negotiated delicately in a nonverbal contract. Non-verbal negotiations were not an option in this situation. I needed to verbally articulate all my concerns, that I with the other collaborators considered obvious details, such as hygiene, risks and personal boundaries. I asked for permission to do the dishes, clean up and open closets. It felt important for my work to present a positive and dignified image of her. One way of creating that image was by moving things that might stand in the way and blur the vision of an onlooker, like dirty laundry and narratives that evoke feelings of pity. I felt that I had her life in my hands, using theologians Eva Skærbæk´s words. By taking ontological interdependency as a point of departure the question is no longer whether to interfere or not. Interdependency means that every one of us holds some of the life of the other in our hand. Continuously confronted with each other’s lives it is not possible not to be involved, to use another word than care. (Skærbæk, 2011, p 44) Not only was her live partly in my hands but my live was partly in her hands as well. We became each others’ agents, and the work was our way of interfering and involving our selves in the struggle of each other. In this negotiation the balance is precarious, and trust becomes of essence. The artwork I seek to produce does not come with strict definition on who the creator is and what is part of the creation or the artwork. The participants are divided into four categories: the artists, the hosts, the guests, other artistic or local contributors. Trust is the fuel that runs the engine of this work. Without mutual trust between the different agents that encounter each other through the work it would be impossible or potentially dangerous. The encounters are precarious and bring out vulnerability from the participants and reveal power structures that exist in the processes of the work or in the social fabric of the site as the case above depicts. As the artist and initiator, I feel responsible for the wellbeing of people and other beings involved in the

artistic process. Taking care does not mean taking the responsibility from the parties involved but to share the responsibility with the co-creators and participants through a delicate action of negotiation. With responsibility comes agency and with agency comes power. I work with non-professionals, drawing on their lived experiences in their private surroundings and by proposing the co-creation to them means in effect to offering agency in the work. But what means co-creation in this context? The power dynamic is still precarious since I set the frame and have the professional tools, experience and overview. Co-creation does not necessarily create equity. There is an ongoing negotiation on what narrative to present but the perspectives in the actual creative process are different and the power is always tilting towards the one that has the clearest overview and the experience, namely the artist. These precarious situations are similar to what ethnographers experience in fieldwork. The question of agency and responsibility are of great importance in the work and need constant attention, especially in the final stages of the creative process. Ethnographer D.S.Madisons shares this insight in her book on critical ethnography, about the need to evoke response-ability in others: I bear witness, and in bearing witness, I do not have the singular “response-ability” for what I witness but the responsibility of invoking a response-ability in others to what was seen, heard, learned, felt, and done in the field and through performance. (Madison, 2019, p. 101) I share the perspective of critical ethnographers in the sense that you become an advocate for you collaborators but at the same time you need to be critical towards what is being witnessed in the field. You need to listen and pay attention with care and tenderness, aware of that you have entered another person world and in a dialogue with the interlocutors, to borrow a term from ethnography (Madison, 2019), you subtract a narrative from the data. In the end it is your call. You do not share the responsibility for the final outcome with your collaborators, you have become their advocate and you are responsible for the narrative presented to the public. By situating my ethical practice in the context of critical ethnography I gain an insight to my practice, that needs further study. Apart from the obvious ethical challenges in connection to co-creation and agency, my biggest ethical concern is to scrutinise my motivation to invite people to a transformative encounter and justify my urgency to change the world. How ethical is it to invite an audience to a potentially life changing experience? This question is still to be answered but until then I might need to apply a trigger warning to my performances. BE AWARE, THE AFFECT OF THIS WORK CAN BE LIFE CHANGING!

RITUAL IV You are blooming, your colourful flowers spread out towards the light. You send signals to other beings with your vivid colours and intoxicating scent. Hoping that a special someone comes, that is ready to spread your message. The message for the future.

TASKS

ACTION Water a flower.

OBSERVATION Look at your hands. Both sides.

CONTEMPLATION What do you care about?

LETTER FIVE AGENDA 2030

This is my last letter to you; in it I will explain how my practice and current research project is connected to UN‘s Sustainability Goals. My PhD project, How little is Enough? Sustainable methods for performance through transformative encounters is a part of Lund University graduate school‘s focus on societal challenges and the UN’s Agenda 2030. My work is concerned with issues such as empowerment, equality, inclusivity, awareness, wellbeing, environmental sustainability, consumption patterns and reducing the carbon footprint. To be able to react to UN Sustainability Goals and change the future prospect of the planet a considerable transformation of individual perceptions, values and behavioural patterns is needed. How Little is Enough? aims to contribute to that transformation. My research project seeks to develop methods for performance making that looks for positive qualities and values in everyday experiences, in routines, choices and actions, through participatory performative encounters that enhance imagination and hope. In this letter I want to look at my sustainability perspectives through the lens of ecopsychology, take a glance at this strand of psychology and scrutinise its ideas on human behaviour and reactions to the imminent ecological crisis. Imagine a world in which we consider the impact of our decisions on the earth and on the seventh generation ahead, in which humans no longer see themselves as the superior species, in which all aspects of the web of life are truly respected as equals, in which rationality and intellect can sit beside our animal selves (feeling, intuition, and our bodily senses) as equal partners in our guidance. Imagine a world in which humans express gratitude toward all who support us in every breath. Imagine. (Rust, 2014, p.48) Thus, starts Mary-Jayne Rust, an Eco psychologist, her article titled “Dare to Dream?“ where she offers strategies for society to pave way for necessary changes to behaviour and mindset in times of ecological urgency. The strategies are to enable humans to move towards an ecocentric value system away from an an individualistic consumer driven anthropocentric culture that is destroying the planet. As many other thinkers Rust bases her ideas on the fact that humans are one with nature, not separated from it. Nature is as much inside of you in the microorganism that makes up your body as something that is “out there” Many thinkers of deep ecology and related strands of thought are critical towards the romantic idea of nature as something to admire or the consumerist notion of nature being as a product to entertain you or help you wind down, or the “it” that needs to be rescued (Rust, 2014; Morton, 2007). These thinkers are critical of the concept of nature and even refrain from using the word. Rust speaks of “other than human world” whereas philosopher Timothy Morton refers to the natural world as “symbiotic real“, a wider ecosphere, non-hierarchical solidarity of humans with nonhumans. (Morton, 2017)

Ecopsychology looks at these paradigms and explores ideas of how we can possibly change people´s worldviews, behaviours and most importantly, their well-being. While individuals’ consumption patterns and economical growth policies have a negative impact on the planet, the climate change and imminent global environment crisis, in turn, affect people on a psychological and emotional level. For people that take the global call for change seriously, young people marching with Greta Thunberg, for example, the struggle is not only driven by hope but also by more destructive emotions of fear and anxiety. This type of eco-anxiety is well known by psychologists and is at its worst paralysing: “Naturally we are seeing a rise in what many call ‘eco-anxiety’ or ‘eco-grief’ as the situation worsens. These are not pathological symptoms to be treated by therapy; rather, they are healthy responses to a world in crisis which need to be shared and held in community.“ (Rust, 2020, Kindle location 49). There are also other common psychological reactions to the imminent environmental situation recognised by psychologists, as defence and denial. Joseph Dodds uses Freuds kettle logic to explain how many react to the crisis (Dodds, 2011, p.43). The logic goes like this: 1. It´s not happening; 2. It´s not my fault; 3. There’s nothing we can do about it (so I can just get on with my life as usual). He says: “Psychoanalysts have long known that defences need to be tackled carefully. Perhaps green campaigns, as worthy and as truthful as they may be, might at times have caused more harm than good, representing a ‘sledgehammer’ approach to tackling eco-defences” (Dodds, 2011, p. 41). Though I do not share Dodd‘s scepticism towards green campaigns, I do lean against other strategies to address these urgencies strategies that are less direct and do not evoke these negative emotions. Changing our ways is a process that is often impeded because there is deep resistance to changing how we see ourselves as humans in relation to the world. As Freud pointed out in the early days of psychoanalysis, it is important to pay attention to the resistance in the process of change. (Rust, 2014, p.49) An awareness of the risks involved when instigating changes is vital. As an artist I can see an opportunity to contribute with positive images or imagination for the future that counteract these paralysing tendencies. In my project I am concerned with affect. Through my art practice I am looking for the right conditions for transformation in performance context, questioning what moves people profoundly and what drives them to action. These questions have naturally led me to the field of deep ecology and ecopsychology that study and nurture biophilia and mindfulness and appreciate felt emotions. When we do allow ourselves to feel, we might ﬁnd a whole range of strong emotions, such as anxiety and fear about the future, despair at our lack of political will, grief for so many losses, guilt that we continue to be part of the cause and more. While therapy has helped us to become more emotionally literate interpersonally, we are still a very ‘stiff

upper lip’ culture in relation to the bigger picture; when we block out our feelings, we lose touch with the urgency of crisis. (Rust, 2008, p.160) Within my practice I want people to get in touch with the urgency of the imminent crisis from relating to constructive feelings that do not risk being blocked out. For me it has been a mission to find a constructive and positive way of creating an awareness of humans´ place in the web of life and an understanding of what makes us really feel good and creates a sense of belonging and harmony with our environment. The aim is not to preach, shame or correct but in stead cultivate hope through attention to what is worth living for and an imagination for a better future. The strategies that Rust presents in “Dare to Dream?“ are connected to communication and care. She is adamant in creating a language for a new worldview that does not separate man from nature and thus enables mainstream population to envision positive images for the future, to bring ecopsychology into the theory and practice of professional care. The methods of ecopsychology are in essence to nurture people´s connection to the other than human world by restoring the bond with their natural environment. As a Jungian psychologist Rust relies on images, myths and imagination and it is there I see myself being able to join forces with this movement of ecopsychology. One of the myths Rust describes is the “myth of progress”, a belief in the progress of technology and knowledge that will solve the problems for us. But in fact, technology alone will not do the trick; an urgent action of changed behaviour is needed. Yes, we should dare to dream, and we should train our imagination to create positive images for the future. But we urgently need a hook, a valid reason for wanting to change the perspectives for the future generations. The Icelandic novelist and activist Andri Snær Magnason in his novel On time and water makes a sound argument for how we can fuel the desire to make the future our business. He describes a situation where he sits with his 10-year-old daughter in his 94-year-old grandmother’s kitchen, born 1924. They bear the same name, Hulda, and there is a strong bond between them. He asks his daughter to calculate what year she herself will be 94 years old, after calculating she says 2102, then he asks her to imagine that she sits in her kitchen with her 10-year-old great granddaughter and asks her then to calculate when her great grand-daughter will be 94. The answer is 2186. ‘I’ve one more puzzle. How long is it from 1924 to 2186?’ Hulda does the maths. ‘Is it 262 years?’ ‘Imagine that. Two hundred and sixty-two years. That’s the length of time you connect across. You’ll know the people who span this time. Your time is the time of the people you know and love, the time that moulds you. And your time is also the time of the people you will know and love. The time that you will shape. You can touch 262 years with your bare hands. Your grandma taught you, you will teach your great-granddaughter. You can have a direct impact on the future, right up to the year 2186.’ ‘Up to 2186!’ (Magnason, 2020, pp.16 - 17) What better motivation for change than love and genuine connection to another being?

RITUAL V You are meeting your co-creator for the first time; she cheerfully greets you and invites you to sit in the living room. Soon she appears out from the kitchen with home made cakes and coffee. You look into her eyes and its like looking into an abyss, you sense an ocean of experience, emotions, hopes and dreams, sacrifices, loss and disappointment. When she starts to speak the sea bursts out of her like a force of nature, You are immersed in her story. Now it is a part of you.

TASKS

OBSERVATION Pay attention to your energy level right now.

ACTION Stand up from your chair and dance for a minute.

CONTEMPLATION What activities are energising for you?

QUESTIONNAIRE

Hi, The piece is a part of an artistic research on sustainability and transformative power of the performing arts. The research project is called How little is enough? Sustainable methods of performance for transformative encounters and is a part of the PhD project of Steinunn at Theatre Academy of Theatre in Malmö (Lund University). It would be great if you could answer a few questions about your experience of the work. The answers will be used anonymously as a part of the research. What emotion did the work evoke in you (make an x in front of the appropriate emotion) Joy Sorrow Fear Contentment/acceptance Wellbeing Curiosity Anger Irritation Trust Insecurity Vulnerability Other, what: Non especially Did any part of the work move you more than other? If yes, what part? Do you consider yourself as a participant in the piece? Yes No Not sure Do find that the pieces is about you? Yes No Not sure Do you think this work can be defined as staging/theatre? Yes Not sure No If No, what is missing? How often do you attend site specific performances? Often Sometimes It happens Very rarely Never, this is the first time THANK YOU FOR YOUR PARTICIPATION

BIBLIOGRAPHY Letter I Ahmed, S (2010) The Promise of Happiness. Durham and London: Duke University Press. Bennett, J. (2001) The Enchantment of Modern Life, Attachments, Crossings and ethics. Princeton and Oxford: Princeton University Press. (Kindle version) Deleuze, G. & Guattari, F. (1994) What is Philosophy? (Tomlinson, H. & Burchell, G. Trans.) New York: Columbia University Press. (Originally published 1991) Fischer-Lichte, E. (2008) The Transformative Power of Performance A new aesthetics (Jain, S.I. Trans.) Oxon: Routledge. Taylor and Francis (Originally published 2004.). (Kindle Edition.) Morton, T. (2013) Realist Magic: Objects, Ontology, Causality. Michigan: Open University Press. Sedgwick, E.K. (2003). Touching Feeling: Affect, Pedagogy, Performativity. Durham, UK: Duke University Press. (Kindle version) World Health Organization. (2012) WHOQOL: Measuring Quality of Life Retrieved from (https://www.who.int/healthinfo/survey/whoqol-qualityoflife/en/) Letter III Deleuze, G. & Guattari, F. (1994) What is Philosophy? (Tomlinson, H. & Burchell, G. Trans.) New York: Columbia University Press (Originally published 1991) Fischer-Lichte, E. (2008) The Transformative Power of Performance A new aesthetics (Jain, S.I. Trans.) Oxon: Routledge. Taylor and Francis (Originally published 2004.). (Kindle Edition.) Haraway, D.J. (2016) Staying with the Trouble: Making Kin in the Chthulucene. London, UK: Duke University Press Sedgwick, E.K. (2003). Touching Feeling: Affect, Pedagogy, Performativity. Durham, UK: Duke University Press. Letter IV Madison, D.S. (2019) Critical ethnography : method, ethics, and performance. Los Angeles. SAGE Publications. (Kindle Edition.) (Third edition.) Skærbæk, E. (2011) Navigating in the Landscape of Care: A Critical Reflection on Theory and Practise of Care and Ethics. Health Care Anal (2011) 19:41–50 DOI 10.1007/s10728-010-0157-5. (Published online 2010.)

Letter V Dodds, J. (2011) Psychoanalysis and Ecology at the Edge of Chaos. London & New York: Routledge (Kindle Edition). Magnason, Andri Snær. On Time and Water (Smith, L. Trans.) London: Profile Books(Kindle Edition). (First published in Icelandic 2019). Morton, T. (2017) Humankind solidarity with non-human people. London: Verso. Morton, T. (2007) Ecology without Nature Rethinking Environmental Aesthetics. Cambridge, Massachusetts, US & London, UK: Harvard University Press. Rust, M.-J. (2008). Climate on the couch: Unconscious processes in relation to our environmental crisis. Psychotherapy and Politics International, 6(3),157–170. Rust, M.-J. (2020) Towards Ecosphycoanalyses. London: Confer Books. (Kindle edition). Rust, M.-J. (2014) Daring to Dream? The Grounding of Ecopsychology in Public Debate, Global Alliance, Language, and Practice. Ecopsychology 6(1), 48–50.

NO SHOW A manuscript for 5 immersive performances by Steinunn Knúts Önnudóttir

NO SHOW Reykjavík 2021 Text: Steinunn Knúts Önnudóttur Layout: Björg Vilhjálmsdóttir, bjorgvilhjalms.is All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations for academic purposes. Copyright © 2010 by Steinunn Knúts Önnudóttir

108, Fossvogur �� 8 Entrance �� 8 Guest toilet ��10 Kitchen ��15 Dining room �� 20 Living room �� 25 Study �� 30 Mirror �� 35 Staircase �� 40 Bedroom �� 45 Sofa �� 50

101, City Centre �� 52 Entree �� 52 Staircase �� 57 Kitchen �� 62 Dining table �� 67 Living room �� 72 Terrace �� 77 Room �� 82 Bathroom ��87 Study ��92 Bedroom ��97

111, Breiðholt �� 102 Entrance ��102 Hall ��107

Bathroom �� 112 Kitchen �� 117 Living room ��122 Dining table ��127 Room ��132 Bedroom ��137

101, West-town �� 142 Entrance ��142 Landing ��147 Entrée ��152 Bathroom ��157 Kitchen ��162 Dining table ��167 Living room ��172 Bedroom ��177 Room ��182

105, The Fields �� 187 Entrance ��187 Entrance ��192 Bathroom ��197 Kitchen ��202 Living room ��207 Bedroom ��212

No Show, or FjarVera in Icelandic was performed in a middle of a pandemic summer 2020 at the Reykjavík Art Festival in 5 homes in different neighbourhoods of the city. The performance was a solitary experience, moving from one zip code in Reykjavík to another, each edition open during one week at a time. The inhabitants were absent during the visits, but an occasional pet was present during some of the performances. Trust is the sole key this work. It is far from being natural to open your home to total strangers in a middle of a pandemic and even more exceptional to share with them personal stories, thoughts, values and hopes. I am grateful for the generosity and courage of my co-creators that chose to trust me and unknown guest with their homes. I thank Sveinbjörg and her family, María and her folks, Karolina and Ýmir, Björk and her friends and relatives. I also want to thank my own family for allowing me to open up our home, Eiríkur, Hera and Benjamín that I share home with and my sons Benjamín and Ísak that also appeared in the piece. I am forever grateful for the trust I have been shown.

This was a vulnerable process in unprecedented times that touched me profoundly and the experience will stay with me forever. I also want to thank Reykjavík Art Festival for supporting me and producing the work with tender care and responsibility. This script is only published as a documentation and does not give a comprehensive image of the performances that entail so much more. The actual work is interactive, and the affect is created by a combination of the physical presence of a guest in a stranger’s home and the association that emerge in the guests mind when encountering the work. I have cut out some instructions from the texts about where to find the letters. The performance is a part of my artistic research project “How Little is Enough? “ that I am conducting at Malmö Theatre Academy, and is a part of the Lund University Research School, “Agenda 2030“ Reykjavík January 4th, 2021 Steinunn Knúts Önnudóttir

108, FOSSVOGUR Entrance P ink damask sce ne D amascus rose Dear Guest, Welcome to Búland 28 Here lives: Sveinbjörg choreographer Svenni engineer Diljá an art student Lísbet secondary school student Úlfur elementary school student Bono dog I have left envelopes for you that contain; a letter, a description of ritual, and tasks that involve observing, contemplating and doing things in my home. Although I guide you through the work, you are the main character and the only spectator of what goes on. Each space has a certain aroma that represents the character of the space. This space has the aroma of damask rose. When you have read a letter and completed the tasks, put the letter back in its place. The work ends when you hear a knock on the front door in half an hour or as soon as you have read all the letters. I trust you with my home and hope you enjoy your time with us. Yours Sveinbjörg.

Action Take off your shoes and coat and hang it in the closet.

Guest toilet P unica g r anatum p o m e g r anate Unlike the bathroom on the ground floor, there is rarely a que here and you never hear impatient knock on the door. Here you are truly alone with yourself. This is the place where I come closest to being a foreigner in the house as this space is specially designed for you, the guest. We all have our rituals. Some are carved in stone while others are fluid. I have listed some of them down and will share them with you during the visit, first I would like to invite you to perform a ritual.

Ritual I You are a guest in a family home, and you begin your visit by washing your hands.

Action Wash your hands. Look into the mirror.

Observation Check out your face, lines and colour. Look deep into your eyes. Now notice how you feel inside. Notice your thoughts and expectations for the work.

Contemplation Think about the meaning of hand cleansing. What do you need to cleanse?

Kitchen M e lale uca Te a Tre e The kitchen is the heart of the house. In the morning or when I get home after work, the first thing I do is to light a candle that is lit while people are in the house. I love spending time in the kitchen cooking and feeding myself and the people around me. Can I you offer you a fruit or a drink? Coffee, tea or mineral water. You can take your drink with you while traveling around the house.

Ritual II You need to pee. You knock on the bathroom door, call to let your mum know you are there. Then you curl yourself on the corner sofa until the door opens. After peeing and brushing your teeth, you take a seat by the kitchen island and watch cartoons while you eat your cereal. Your dad sits at the dining table and reads the papers. He asks you to lower the volume.

Action Clean up after breakfast and wash the dishes.

Observation Notice the layout of the kitchen.

Contemplation How is the organization in your life? Is everything in place?

Dining room Citr us sine nsis W ild or ang e s The dining room gives the frame for family-quality-time. Here we nourish both body and soul. We have each our seat at the table and come at all times of the day to work, draw, study, read, eat and to be a family. At seven o’clock every night we gather for a family dinner. Then we tell each other stories about the events of the day and together we try to raise Bono who always wants to sit at the table with us. Not everyone is happy when I turn on the TV news, but it is something I grew up with and want to share with my children. Here we practice being part of a community, have conversations and try to understand the world around us.

Ritual III You are the first to wake up. The house is asleep. You take a shower and after you have walked the dog you pick up the newspapers. You spread out at the dining table with your breakfast and read the newspapers while you drink your morning coffee.

Action Check out the vocabulary used to train Bono (on the fridge). Find your seat and sit down. Imagine being a participant in the family conversation.

Observation Look in the mirror and see the person sitting at the table.

Contemplation What nutrition is on offer in your home? How are you raised?

Living room B o awe llia ia car te ria Fr ankince nse Sit in the corner of the corner sofa and read the letter. Here, in this spot I like to sit. The space is open, bright and spacious. Everything in here has a meaning and is related to something in our stories. Under the table are photo albums that we often browse to recall moments from our past, even Bónó likes to grab them. We think some of the photos are silly, they reflect a time when the world was different. The works on the walls all have a back story. The Horse is by a Spanish artist Lluc Queralt Baiges. The artwork Svenni gave to me after I had premiered a dance work on mares. The piece combines our passions in life and art. It means so much to both of us.

Ritual IV You start the day with a shower. You choose an appropriate essential oil to put in your face cream. You give yourself plenty of time to get ready for the day. You fold the clean laundry and fill one washing machine. You hear the people upstairs talking while you make the bed. When you are alone, you have a cup of coffee and sit down on the sofa with your cup before heading to work. Everything is perfect.

Observation Notice the space. Notice the light. Notice the smell. Notice the temperature. Notice the colours. Notice the view.

Action Browse one photo album.

Contemplation Wow does your context look like? Where do you like to be?

Study Citr us L im on le m o n This is a perfect place to work and concentrate. During the pandemic many e-mails and reports were written here, meetings, ballet lessons, mathematics lessons and exams held here.

Ritual V It’s a school day and you have to go to ballet class. You run up the stairs and into the study. There you turn on the computer and start the class. Ballet Pole. Your mom has taken her mat out in to the living room, where she is doing Pilates. You try to recall what your mom pointed out to you over the weekend when she gave you and your sister a class on the grass in the garden.

Action Lie on the mattress, close your eyes, take three deep breaths, pull your knees up to your chest - give yourself a good hug. Straighten yourself and stand up. Sit down at the table and write down a list of things you want to learn. Take the list with you as you go.

Observation Notice the things that can be categorized as tools in this space.

Contemplation What tools do you use in your life? What tools can´t you live without?

Mirror M e ntha P ip e rita P e p p e r mint This is where Bono has the best view of the house, here he lies and watches over the house when everyone is asleep or away.

Ritual VI You’ve looked after the house all day. You hear a key turned in the door and you pop up. You greet your master, wag your tail and try to tell him everything that happened during the day. You get a hug and compliments.

Observation Notice the doors to this place?

Action Count the exit routes from here.

Contemplation Do you have an overview of things? What are the escape routes in your life?

Staircase R osmarinus of f icinalis R ose mar y The stairs are the main musical instrument in the house. People run up and down the stairs all the time. The driving force is the search of lost things. The pace is is fast or slow, the steps assertive or gentle and someone shouts: Where is Bono´s leash? Has anyone seen my jacket?

Ritual VII You come home from school with your girlfriend. The two of you enter the house laughing and the dog cannot conceal his joy to see you. He flutters around you and tries to lick your faces. You laugh even louder, and you try to make him calm down. You tell your girlfriend. “We got him to calm the family, but if anything, we have become even more tense.” You love this dog.

Action Try to run down and up the stairs.

Observation Notice the soundscape you create.

Contemplation Have you lost anything important in your life? What do you need to run after?

Bedroom L av andula angus tifo lia L ave nde r The basement is deep and still - here we rest well. Before I go to bed, I drop soothing lavender oil into my palms, rub them together and inhale the scent.

Ritual VIII You’re going to sleep. You apply soothing oil to your palms and inhale.

Action Drop one drop of lavender oil on your palm, rub the palms together and then apply them to your nose. Inhale the aroma.

Observation Close your eyes and notice your breath and the affects of the smell on you.

Contemplation If this house was a body, what part of the body are we in?

Sofa P e lar g onium g r ave ole ns Ge r anium Dear Guest, This is the last letter. I invite you to find a place in the house where you can sit and read the last ritual. Soon you will hear a knock at the door and the work will be completed, but you can leave the house sooner if you wish. We thank you very much for your visit. Greetings, Sveinbjörg and family.

Ritual IX You are a house. Inside you, people and animals travel in organic patterns through the veins of your body. There is a constant movement within you that moves between floors and pumps life into you with rhythmic beats and soft strokes. You have been blessed with the absence of viruses and other uninvited guests. Your life is a dance piece, and the dance company includes six permanent dancers and numerous guest artists.

101, CITY CENTRE Entree L ilium b ulbife r um Fire L il y Dear guest, Welcome to Klapparstígur In this house live: Steinunn theatre maker Eiríkur Smári philosopher Hera hairdressing student Benjamín music student Bellatrix cat Gleymmérei cat (Benjamín philosophy student) (Ísak salesman and engineer student) I have left envelopes for you that contain; a letter, a description of ritual, and tasks that involve observing, contemplating and doing things in my home. Although I guide you through the work, you are the main character and the only spectator of what goes on. In each room there is a flower that characterizes the space. In this room it is Fire Lily When you have read the letter and solved the tasks, please put the envelope where you found it. The performance is over when the doorbell rings in half an hour or when you have read the letters and are ready to go. I trust you with my home and I hope you enjoy the stay. Best wishes, Steinunn.

Ritual I You are a guest in an unfamiliar house. You bow deeply for the hosts, their lives, lifestyle and values.

Action Take your shoes off and hang your coat on a hanger. Stand in front of the mirror and bow three times. Once for the house Once for the people living in the house Once for yourself

Observation Observe your reflection. Notice your body posture. Pay attention to the colour of your skin, hair and eyes. Notice your feelings, thoughts and expectations for the performance.

Contemplation What does it mean to you – bowing to another person? Has anyone bowed before you recently?

Staircase Ta xacum of f icinale D ande lio n The stairs are like a bottle neck or a centrifuge. They are both steep and they swirl. People travel in different pace up and down the stairs and the soundscape they make reveal their state of mind. We never dwell here, here we are either coming from a place or going to place.

Ritual II You have been waiting for people in the house to wake up. You are given food as soon as the first person wakes and now you want some fresh air. You use the opportunity when someone is fetching the newspapers downstairs. You walk slowly down the stairs since you are obese and clumsy for a cat. The door is opened, and you walk out the door. You are able to open doors, but it does not enter your mind to close any doors behind you.

Action Play the stairs like they were an instrument by walking in different tempo up and down.

Observation Pay attention to repetition in this space.

Contemplation What meaning does repetition have in your life? What is repeated?

Kitchen A llium scho e no p r asum Chive s The kitchen is the centre of the house. We all love cooking. We like to prepare food from scratch, we like to explore and experiment - we never waste food. We use a lot of spices, we conserve, ferment, salt, dry, boil and freeze. We eat together every day but sometimes we are too lazy to cook so we eat out at one of the many restaurants in the neighbourhood. We take turns in cooking and on Sundays we invite members of the family not living in the house for a family dinner. Sometimes people join via the internet. Can I offer you a drink? Coffee, tea, sparkling water? You can take the drink with you on your journey around the house.

Ritual III You wake up to two very hungry cats. They follow you into the bathroom and are tangled to your feet until you feed them. You put the kettle on and do your stretches while the water is boiling. When you have poured boiling water over the oats, you pick up the newspaper and let the cats out. You read the Icelandic papers by the kitchen table while you eat. After making coffee you sit on the sofa and you scan the international media online, before you enter your working day.

Action Do the dirty dishes.

Observation Pay attention to the fermentation that is taking place in the kitchen.

Contemplation Do you let things ferment? What means do you have for preserving things? Do you leave things dirty?

Dining table B ak sia The dining table is the gathering place of the family. Here we serve to each other what we have prepared and what we want to present. I have made all our dining ware, it is organically shaped, random and imperfect like the lives of all of us. But there is a heart in it and what was broken has been repaired. We reveal all our sides in this lively company which can be challenging at times. What we have learned is that you never take important decisions on an empty stomach.

Ritual IV You are alone in an apartment in central Europe far away from family and friends. It is in a middle of a pandemic and your flat mates have gone to their loved ones and you are all alone for the first time in your life. It is Sunday and you are going to meet your family on your smartphone. The entire family appears on your tiny screen, even the cats and the dog. They seem so near but at the same time very distant. The chat dissolves when you start to experiment with new filters in the social media app, now you all have long ears and big eyes, and suddenly everyone turns into a potato.

Action Sit in your own seat and try to imagine how it is to be in a conversation with the family.

Observation Pay attention to exotic elements in the environment.

Contemplation How is your context? What are your different sides and what role do you have within your family?

Living room Ros a inde p e nde nce O r ang e Rose The paintings on the walls and the objects in here all connect to our stories and some things have always been with me. The green lamp, my parents bought in Denmark when they lived there before I was born. I have inherited a lot of things from my parents, not only things but also mind set, customs and values. Here I have art on the walls, books in shelves and a stereo system. This is what makes a home to me. This is our social space, here we entertain each other and invite family and friends. We drink tea in the evenings and play games, preferable with dice. Dice games are based on luck and a dash of strategi. Most of all it brings out joy and laughter.

Ritual V You have been in town, socializing with pedestrians, receiving a lot of attention and affection. You climb skilfully up the trunk of the Whitebeam and jump lightly on to a branch leading to the terrace. You place your self at the window to the living room and observe the family from outside. The dog is there. They are playing a game and the mood changes from concentration to outbursts of laughter, applause and deep conversations. You wait until the dog leaves and then you call out to your family to let you in.

Observation Observe the space. Pay attention to the light. Notice the colours. Pay attention to the smell. Notice the temperature and textures.

Action Roll the dice and try to get six alike.

Contemplation What role does luck have in your life? Are you satisfied with your lot?

Terrace H e lianthus Sunf lowe r I do my stretches on the stair to the terrace door. I got a heal spur a few years back and now I need to stretch my soles – this is the best place for that. While stretching I observe the movements outside, the branches that move in the wind, the people passing by, the clouds travelling in the sky. Here I can sometimes feel like in the countryside, when suddenly there is total calm in midst of the busy urban soundscape and the only sound you can here is the birds singing from the branches of the Whitebeam. On the wall to the right are artworks by my sister that has left this world. When I look at them, I am filled with gratitude for all the gifts that I have received and I think about what I have lost and what remains, what was and what is.

Ritual VI You are kneading sourdough from a starter that was refreshed early this morning, the starter goes back many years and is refreshed every time you bake bread. You kneed for a long time until the dough is smooth and elastic. You place it in the refrigerator. You will bake two loafs for lunch tomorrow. The entire house is asleep, it is calm. You do your stretches and watch the last few people on their way home after a night on the town. You see branches moving slowly in the evening breeze. Everything is perfectly imperfect and the way it should be. You sit down in a green chair and think nothing, do nothing and time stands still.

Action Take hold of the door handle and stand on your toes on the step, let the heals sink and raise yourself on the toes, let the heals sink again. Repeat several times.

Observation Observe what moves on the outside.

Contemplation When does your time stand still? What have you lost and what gifts have you been given in your life? What could you not live without?

Room Flor um v arietate M ixe d Flowe r s This is the room of the young people of the home. Here the future is planned, this is a place of learning and creation.

Ritual VII You wake up hearing your in-laws chatting in the living room. You hear the city waking up outside the window. You think about whether you saved the last version of the song you were working on yesterday. You open your computer and see that the last saved version is from just before you went to sleep. You are relieved. You dress, say hello to your in-laws and go for your morning coffee at your workplace, the coffee shop across the street.

Observation Observe all the things you can make music from in this room.

Action Sit by the desk and make a list of things you want to do in the future. Take the list with you when you leave.

Contemplation What do you think about when you think about the future?

Bathroom C amp anula rotundifo lia B lue b e ll The sink was made for me by Hiro, my Japanese master in pottery. On its journey across the globe the sink broke in pieces, but I repaired it with gold as I had learned in Japan. They call it Kintsugi. A lot of things brake during a lifetime and a lot of these things have such a value that they deserve to be mended. The repair does not need to be concealed because the beauty lies exactly in the care that goes into the process of reparation. Gold is both beautiful and strong.

Ritual VIII You wake up and take a shower. You take it easy and listen to your favourite podcast about interesting crime stories from another continent, another world. You feel like you know the presenters, people that have been part of your life for a long time. You apply face cream and make up and do your hair. Before you finish, your mother knocks on the door, and you let her in to have a quick pee.

Action Wash your hands.

Observation Observe your face. Look deep into your eyes. Pay attention to the lines in your face.

Contemplation What do you need to wash away? What have you had to repair in your life?

Study S o lida g o altis sima Go lde nro d Here is good to relax and enjoy being free from any duties. This space is the memory room of the family. Here we can recollect who we are and where we come from, through books, photographs, old drawings and paintings. Here the family albums are stored. This is a place where we create references and common ground, here we seek entertainment and education from books and screens. This room is dedicated to the mother, that lifts the burden of our shoulder, that soothes and comforts.

Ritual IX You are just divorced and find yourself on a crossroad. You are folding and arranging your cloths in a room where your mother repairs broken things. You think about how you can repair what has been broken in your life while you fold and arrange, fold and arrange.

Observation Observe your hands, both sides.

Action Embrace yourself firmly and sincerely.

Contemplation Who cares for you? Whom do you care for?

Bedroom L av andula A ngus tifo lia L ave nde r Dear guest, This is the last letter. Soon the doorbell will ring, and the piece is over. This is a place of rest and revitalization. When you have read the last ritual, I invite you to recharge by sitting on the pillow and ring the buddha bell that I bought in a tiny store in Kyoto. You can leave the house as soon as you have found peace or when the doorbell rings. Thanks for the visit, we wish you all the best Steinunn and family

Ritual X You are a house. Inside of you people and animals move in an organic patter through the veins of your body. The movement moves between floors and pump live into your heart with repetitive beats and soft strokes. Your life is like a ceramic bowl that was broken but is now repaired with gold. You are a vessel for a fermenting mass that is in constant transformation.

Action Sit on the pillow with crossed legs or the way you like. Ring the bell. Close your eyes and imagine that you are inside of the body of the house.

Observation Pay attention to your breath.

100

Contemplation Where does your energy come from? What does revitalisation mean to you?

101

111, BREIÐHOLT Entrance O ce an b re e ze Dear guest, Welcome to Asparfell I live on the 4th floor in apartment 4C I have left envelopes for you that contain; a letter, a description of ritual, and tasks that involve observing, contemplating and doing things in my home. Although I guide you through the work, you are the main character and the only spectator of what goes on. I collect inspiring words and phraces and on each envelop I have placed a word or a sentence that I think is characteristic to that space. With this letter you have the word Oceanbreeze. The work ends when you hear the doorbell rings in half an hour or as soon as you have read all the letters. Greetings María

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Ritual I You are a house. Inside of you time passes, days, months and years. There is a constant flow of movement through your body, in and out - up and down, that pumps oxygen into your heart. You open your doors to people whether they come or go. You protect your people from weather and winds and your life is dedicated to their service.

103

Observation Look at the names on the letterboxes. Imagine where the people behind the names are in this very moment.

104

Contemplation To whom do you open your doors?

105

Action Ring the bell for apartment 4C and imagine how the bell sounds inside the flat. If there is no answer, open the door with your key and take the elevator to the fourth floor.

106

Hall Retur ning he alth Welcome to my home. My name is Maria, and I am 65 years old a former nurse. Here I live, but my children and grandchildren also call this their home even though they do not live with me. They are: Hákon son Ashleigh daughter in law Sunneva daughter Diddi grandson Emma granddaughter Bjartur grandson This apartment is our sanctuary. Here I can care for my family and this is a place where my children can seek shelter for them selves, their children and their belongings. This is a safe place. I control what happens here and I only invite people inside who are in their right mind. I trust you with my home and I hope that you can enjoy your stay. Best María

107

Ritual II You are excited about your stayover at your grandmother’s, it is almost a month since last time. You find that a very long time. You go straight to the closet in the hallway and open it. Here you find the grandma-toys, that you also own, most of them are old but they work. You think to your self that Grandma never throws anything away unless it does not work. You call out to your mother saying: “Grandma, you know what, I have three homes; one with my father, one with my mother and the third one is here with you.“

108

Action Take of your shoes and hang your coat in the closet. Sit on the chair and close your eyes and slow down your breath.

109

Observation Pay attention to the sounds in the flat. Observe your emotions, your thoughts and your expectations to the experience.

110

Contemplation Do you hear time pass? How does time sound?

111

Bathroom M y inne r L ad y troll I do not spend much time in the bathroom, instead I go to the local swimming pool. I was nine years old when I first visited a swimming pool and immediately something clicked inside of me, I love the water. In spite of my fibromyalgia and arthritis I move a lot; swim and walk. Motion has shaped me from my early childhood in the farm where I grew up. But in this bathroom, there is not much motion.

112

Ritual III You are in motion. You are not alone, there is one like you here. You swim, you know nothing else. You swim in circles, one circle after the other. You are not thinking of time, you are not thinking about destination, you do not think, you swim. Suddenly you see something move at a distance and something inside of you draws you closer to the surface. You see a grain falling towards you and you hurry to catch it, and then another and another. You are full. Everything is as it should be, and you continue to swim in a water you cannot see.

113

Action Wash your hands.

114

Observation Observe your face. Look into your eyes, deep.

115

Contemplation What do you keep inside? What do you let out? What defines you?

116

Kitchen We athe r m e s s a g e The kitchen has multiple function for me, it is a place of creation. I enjoy cooking and especially baking. When my children visit, I cook for them and prepare everything before they come. When my grandchildren visit, I bake a chocolate cake that they love. I do not want guests to assist my in the kitchen and not at all that they do the dishes. When I have visitors, I want us to talk together and that we do in the living room. As a child I was taught that there is a right place and time for everything. The kitchen table is used for painting and drawing with the grandchildren and for my self I have installed an easel to start painting again after a long pause. I am not a kind of cute Granma that is all rosy and pampers her grandchildren. I think they like that about me. I leave them in peace. Here I make soaps that last for ever and I also cast candles from leftovers. I do not waste anything, and I use everything to the fullest. I am not a fashion fascist and I think it is OK that things are used and collected from different directions, and all kinds, just that they are not broken or dysfunctional.

117

Ritual IV You are with your grandmother. The first thing you do is find your favourite soft animal from the bedroom closet. Then you ask your grandma to read the book for you. Your grandmother sits down with you and tells you that the book is lost. Your entire universe collapses and you loose control. She searches for it once more and finds it. Then she tells you that she does not like that story anymore. You say “all right, lets find another one “. From then on that is the story you want to hear again and again.

118

Action Look out of the window and imagine that you sit on the chair on the balcony.

119

Observation Pay attention to the things that move outside.

120

Contemplation When does the live of a person become a story? What story creates a story?

121

Living room K nit ting f ix , Te x t f ix , Sp e e ch f ix The living room is the centre of the home. Here I invite guests to freshly baked cakes and coffee. Here I sit and listen to sound books, knit and in the evenings, I watch television. This is the gathering place of my core-family that I love, and I feel responsible for. There is always one person absent and we remember her in silence, a drawing of her hangs on the wall and will stay there forever. When I am in a state of distress, I have a need to create rather than lie down. In this room I have gone through many setbacks and from these a whole collection of strange looking woollen sweaters have been created. When I knit, I sit in one of my grandparent’s silver wedding anniversary armchair from 1935 that I inherited. I have a photo of me as a girl, sitting in one of the chairs in my childhood home. My home is different from my childhood home, that was open for visitors 24 hours all year round. In this house I choose my guests, and you are one of them. Sometimes I invite my girlfriends for coffee and then we get all excited about the injustices of the world and forget that we are mothers and grandmothers and use foul language about the ones that we think have violated our rights. Inside of me is a young and angry revolutionary that is fuelled by justice and experiences a sacred moment when The Internationale is played on the radio on May 1st.

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Ritual V You have just finished work; you are tired after a busy day with energetic kids. You long for a good rest. In stead of heading home you decide to go to your mothers. You had promised to water the flowers when she is away. You let yourself in and go straight to your room where you feed your fish. When you have watered the flowers and rinsed the fish tank you turn on the TV and you sit down on your old armchair with the little tiger in your lap, both items you inherited. In the late hours you decide to sleep over in your old bed to spare you the drive to your flat. Here is cosy and safe.

123

Observation Observe the space. Pay attention to the light. Pay attention to the pictures. Pay attention to the scent.

124

Action Sit comfortably where you want and rock back and forth.

125

Contemplation What methods do you have to deal with setbacks? Whom do you want to have close to you?

126

Dining table B o at w ave s This table I use every day, but my computer is usually at the end of the table by the window. Here I check my email, Facebook and Messenger. I also do my online banking here and my private household accounting. I take good care of my economy and I always know what I can afford. The photograph on the wall shows the view from my childhood home to Flateyri in Önundarfjord, that I think must be the most photographed fjord in the whole country. It is beautiful, almost too beautiful. When my family gathers here once a month for dinner, I pack my office and lay the table for dinner, like now. People bring something to drink but I cook for everyone. While we eat, we talk about everything and nothing, most often in English since my daughter in law does not speak Icelandic.

127

Ritual VI You are at your mothers for dinner. You sit in your seat and you feel good surrounded by your people. You are the centre of attention with your magnetic energy and story telling skills. When you start talking about movies and computer games, the children move to the guest room to play and your mother withdraws to the kitchen where she listens in on your conversation while doing the dishes. She does not know anything about films or gaming. When you are about to leave your mother asks if you can take one of your boxes from the storage. You hope you can find place in your flat for the things in it. You feel like your whole live is stored in cardboard boxes.

128

Action Sit in your seat, pour your drink into the glass and have a sip. Imagine yourself in a conversation with the family.

129

Observation Look at the picture of Önundarfjord.

130

Contemplation How many photographs can you take of a beautiful object? What moments are worth capturing?

131

Room Equal f ish are b e s t taile d This is the space of my children and grandchildren. Here they can come when they need rest or privacy. Many of my relatives have neurological disorders, ADHD or autism. I have cared for and supported many relatives that have suffered, sometimes at my own cost. With time I have learned to honour my own boundaries and protect my own piece of mind and health without loosing the ability to care for the one closest to me. I am a parental support for my grandson, that has autism. He stays with me one weekend each month. He is very square, wants to have everything in strict order and needs a clear framework. I also, want a clear framework and I want to have free time regularly. This I can control. When I have more than one guest, I sleep on a mattress in the living room. It feels a bit like camping.

132

Ritual VII You are on your monthly visit to your grandmother. You go straight into your room with the bag that was packed for you. You sit on the bed and scan the entire room to confirm that everything is in its place. You go out to the hall and call to your grandma. “Where is the chocolate cake? “Your grandma smiles and says: “It is in the living room, come on, let´s have a bite. “

133

Action Sit on the bed and hold your hands on your head and breath slowly.

134

Observation Notice the movements in the fish tank.

135

Contemplation Do you always honour your boundaries?

136

Bedroom Go o d sce nt he als the he ad Dear guest, This is the last letter. Soon the doorbell will ring, and the piece is over. This is my bedroom and I think it is much too big. I have had many homes with many different people in different times. I need to move regularly to keep me in motion and to have space to change. Now I need a smaller bedroom and a different flat that serves me as I am today. Cardboard boxes and moving objects and people around are a natural part of my life. One of these boxes I store in my drawer. This box is full of words and sentences that I have collected. During your visit I have shared with you things about my self and you have been given tasks and contemplations. Now I would appreciate if you would like to leave one or two contemplations with me. Maybe I can put these words into my box and moved them with me to my next home. I want to thank you for your visit Take good care. María 137

Ritual VIII You are listening to a woman speaking on the radio. She is both clever and witty. She says something brilliant. You hurry to find a pen and write the sentence on a piece of paper that you take to the bedroom. In your drawer you find the box where you keep your treasure that you have collected through your whole life. You put your new item into the collection and before you close the box you take up an older note and read out load what is written there. You smile.

138

Action Write a sentence or a special word on a piece of paper for the host´s collection. Leave the note behind when you leave.

139

Observation Pay attention to temperatures, textures and softness. Both inside of you and in the room.

140

Contemplation What treasures do you keep in your drawer? What objects do you move with you between houses, homes and lives?

141

101, VESTURBÆR (WEST-TOWN)

Entrance U nive r se Dear guest, Welcome to Framnesvegur I have left envelopes for you that contain; a letter, a description of ritual, and tasks that involve observing, contemplating and doing things in my home. Although I guide you through the work, you are the main character and the only spectator of what goes on. I am a collector by nature, and I have been collecting post cards. With each letter is a special postcard I have chosen for you. When you have read the letter and solved the tasks, please put the envelope where you found it. The performance is over when you hear a knock on the door, in half an hour or when you have read the letters and are ready to go. People from different parts of the country and the world occupy this house, they have come to live in Reykjavík for a shorter or longer period. I come from Poland and have lived in Iceland for 20 years. Before I invite you into my home, I ask you to make two stops on your way up to the top floor where I live. I hope you enjoy the stay. Karolina

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Ritual I You are a guest in an unfamiliar house. You enter through a door from one universe to another. You wipe your feet.

143

Action Wipe your feet on the mat saying “Heima er best“ (Home is best).

144

Observation Pay attention to your feelings, thoughts and expectations for the performance.

145

Reflection If Home is best, what is the measure? Better than what? What do you need to wipe of before entering this world?

146

Landing Tr ans fo r matio n The stairs are a place of transit, up or down, a passage between two states. I belong to a generation in Poland that is sometimes called the Transformation generation. I was a witness to how capitalism merged from communism. It was hard on people when the state wasn´t there anymore to take care of everyone. The communist regime had taken care of people’s livelihood in all ways. It was a hard but necessary change. I myself have lived in constant transformation and taken independent decisions in every step of my journey, one of them was to move to Iceland. Every day I walk up and down these stairs. Here is no one to elevate me or cease me down. I carry my own weight and take the steps by my self.

147

Ritual II You are always ready to support your masters by taking all their weight on their way up and down your steps. Few people stay with you since your role is to support people in transit. You do not have an opinion about which way is better, up or down.

148

Action Bend your knees slightly, like you were slowly collapsing. Feel how the force of gravity pulls you down. Resist the pull and rise up again.

149

Observation Observe your weight.

150

Reflection Is there anyone in your life that elevates you?

151

Entrée L ife Welcome to my home, My name is Karolina, 40 years old, an art historian and a guide and I live here with my son Ýmir a 16-year-old high school student. Our home is tiny and highly organized. We have the space we need for necessities and nothing beyond. I am a collector in nature and the decision to move into a 30 square meter apartment was a deliberate decision that called for minimal lifestyle. I choose the things in here carefully and try to constrain the collector in me. Since moving in, I have gradually started to collect small things that do not demand space, like postcards. My home is very different from my childhood home but one thing I have learn from my mother is to have the home tidy and clean, especially the floor. It needs to be comfortable to walk barefoot around the home. I trust you with my home and I hope you enjoy walking barefoot on my floor. Greetings Karolina

152

Ritual III It is quarter to seven and you wake up from the sound of daybreak. You rise and walk barefoot into the kitchen and pour water into a glass, you cut a slice of lemon and squeeze it into the water. You drink your water while you wait for the coffee to brew. You open the balcony door and check the temperature and look up into the sky. Then you sit down in the comfy chair and drink your coffee in peace while you observe the clouds travel across the sky.

153

Action Take off your shoes and socks and place them carefully in the shoe shelves. Walk barefoot on the shiny floor.

154

Observation Pay attention to the sensation in you soles when they touch the floor.

155

Reflection How much space do you need? What things could you not live without?

156

Bathroom Love When I had lived for five years in Iceland my parents sought shelter in Iceland after my father had exposed a scheme of corruption in our hometown and was exiled by dishonest politicians. My parents had to leave their home, my childhood home, and were not allowed to take anything with them. My home in Reykjavík transformed temporarily to a refugee camp and I had to walk between official institutions to secure their residential and work permit. It became a long and tiresome process. Today they have lived in Iceland for 15 years and run a business here. This flat is a gift of love and appreciation from my father for the help I gave them. I bought the flat in a bad condition four years ago and my father renovated it for me with great attention to all details. The floor is heated exactly where you stand in front of the mirror and while brushing my teeth, I do not only feel the heat in my feet but also in my heart.

157

Ritual IV You wake up when your mother knocks lightly on your door. You are going to work. You brush your teeth standing on the warm spot on the floor and look into the mirror. You go into the kitchen and take a banana, oat milk, peanut butter, ice and a few more good things and put them into the blender. You taste the smoothie and are pleased with the outcome. You pour the drink into one big glass for yourself and a smaller one for your mother to taste. When you call goodbye, your mother comes and puts money into your palm to buy lunch. You run down the stairs and out into the day.

158

Action Wash your hands and look your self in the eyes.

159

Observation Notice to the lines in your face. Notice to the colour of your skin. Notice to the colour of your eyes. Notice to the colour of your hair.

160

Reflection Have you ever had to escape from a place?

161

Kitchen B e lo ng ing The kitchen serves me well, I have everything within reach to make simple food for the two of us. I sometimes feel like in Paris or Kraków when working in the kitchen, because the neighbours are right in my face. I like that feeling. I like being surrounded by life and movement. One downside is that my neighbour sometimes leaves the house and forgets to turn of the alarm in the bedroom that faces the kitchen. Fortunately, my father made sure that the windows are tight and do not let to much disturbance in. I am in good contact with my neighbours, in my house, in my street and in my neighbourhood. Here people take care of each other and once a year we prepare dinner and eat together by a long table outside at Borgarstígur. I feel like I belong to this community and I participate in communal activities as much as I can. My best friend also comes from Poland and she is a writer. She lives in Hálsasveit which is my second home in the countryside and this home is her second home in the city. When she is here, she cooks for her 8-year-old daughter. They are a part of my self chosen family.

162

Ritual V You are in your second home in the city. Your daughter is still sleeping in the bedroom and your friend is moving the mattress that fills the living room floor. You look at this at your home even though you do not own a single thing in here. You compliment your friend for how tidy she is, and you laugh at how you both resemble your mothers in so many ways. You both agree that neatness is a good inheritance. You make coffee and offer your host before you wake up your daughter.

163

Observation Pay attention to the organization in the kitchen. Pay attention to colours in the kitchen.

164

Action Have a glass of water with lemon. You can take the glass with you on your journey through the flat.

165

Reflection Who are close to you? What community do you belong to? Do you have a self chosen family?

166

Dining table M othe r tongue I am not much into cooking, but I make simple food every day for the two of us, that we eat here at the table. I really enjoy sitting here with my son, eating, chatting and planning something exciting. His father’s family are gourmet people that introduce exotic flavours to him, and my mother invites us regularly to a traditional polish food. On my 40th birthday this summer my mother gave to me a handwritten book with 100 polish recipes which took her three weeks to write. My best friend also just wrote a book. She writes in both Icelandic and polish and the book will be the first published book written in Icelandic by a polish person. That book is not about food. Language is an important tool, the key to belonging. I speak Icelandic with Polish accent and Polish with Icelandic accent. I do not call myself Icelander even though I feel that I belong here, I call myself Polish even though I do not belong there. When I have guests, I serve drinks and maybe some light snacks and we disperse organically around the flat. A lot of my friends are smokers, so the balcony is a popular place and I often find my self in the doorway keeping the conversation going. It is a polish custom to leave one empty chair at the Christmas table for a stranger. In our home there is always an empty chair for unexpected guests despite the small space.

167

Ritual VI You put the headphones in the ears and run down and out to the sea. You enjoy the wind in your face while you let the music filter through your system and the energy from the sea and the mountains recharge you. You love this country. It was love at first sight. You are bursting with energy when you return home, and you continue moving to the music on the living room floor. You dance and dance, forgetting time and space.

168

Action Sit in your chair at the table. Imagine yourself in a conversation with the family.

169

Observation Look at the shells and stones. Notice their form. Pay attention to their colour. Consider their origin.

170

Reflection Is there space for unexpected guests in your life?

171

Living room R ef u g e The corner of the sofa is my refuge. Here I curl together with a book or a computer and dive into entertainment, education or work. Sometimes I cover my self with a blanket and then I feel completely safe. I have surrounded myself with things that are important to me and one of those things are books. Books were not a part of my childhood. Now I have my own library with books on geology, art and history. I love travelling and have been a guide for many years. During the pandemic, when the tourist industry collapsed, I had a long-awaited rest from constant service to tourists. Now I want to travel myself and visit all the places in Iceland I have not yet seen. The photographs to the right of the bathroom door are from a two-month trip that I made with my son. We travelled through Europe, visiting all our friends living in different parts of the continent. I am an Icelandic citizen and have an Icelandic passport like my son. When I am travelling abroad, I can truly say that I am Icelandic. The photos remind me of our important relationship and our sweet togetherness. The memories of my nation are not so sweet and in Iceland I feel that I am released from this heavy burden. Here I decide for my self what I choose to remember.

172

Ritual VII You are a guest in your daughter’s home. Your grandson sits beside you on the sofa and starts to tell you something in Icelandic, you do not understand. You ask him to talk Polish. “Oh, I am so sorry grandma, I forgot.“ He tells you about a film he and his mother were watching together by a Polish filmmaker Krzysztof Kieslowski. The film is about a man that is trying to catch a train. The film tells three stories, three possible versions of what could happen. You think about your own life and where you would be today if you husband would not have done what was morally right and exposed a crime.

173

Action Sit in the corner of the sofa. Curl together with your knees up to your chest.

174

Observation Look for things that carry or create meaning in the environment.

175

Reflection What do you choose to remember? What have you forgotten?

176

Bedroom Co co o n The bedroom is sometimes called the cabin. Here I crawl in and feel completely safe. After a sixteen-day tour with foreign tourists I am exhausted and in need of deep rest. Then I lock myself in this cocoon for 24 hours. Here I lie and make sure that the windows are closed and let the strain sift out of me. Here I experience peace.

177

Ritual VIII You have not heard from your daughter for some time. You try to call her mobile phone and a voice says “the phone is out of reach or turned off” You think about your daughter and you feel your chest burst with love and pride. You are happy for her, that she got opportunities in Iceland to be independent and strong because you know that in your country it would have been different. She knows what she wants, and she goes were she need to go. You call one more time.

178

Action Lie in a fetal position on the bed and relax.

179

Observation Pay attention to your breath.

180

Reflection How does your cocoon look like? Where do you seek peace?

181

Room Co mp ositio n Dear guest, This is my last letter to you. Soon you will hear a knock on the door and the performance is over. This room contains the entire future. Here a young engineer works long hours creating and mending computers. He uses all sorts of tools and diverse components that he puts together. He, himself is also composed of diverse ethnic components. He is French, Polish and Icelandic. This home is the centre of his life and here he likes to spend his time. In this room he is occupied with preparing for the future by solving endless creative assignments. Thank you for your visit and good luck with your future. Karolina

182

Ritual IX You are in your second home and have the privilege to sit and observe your friend making a computer in his room. You look up to him and think he is really cool. He explains to you how computer works, but you do not fully understand. You just want to hang out and chat with him. He is more interested in computers than chatting with you. You go out to your mother that explains “teenagers just need more privacy than other people, don´t take it personally“.

183

Action Write a list of countries you would like to visit. Wrote a list of countries you would like to live in. Take the list with you.

184

Observation Pay attention to your patriotic feelings.

185

Reflection How are you composed? What do immigrants immigrate?

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105, TÚNIN (THE FIELDS) Entrance Ve r tu þú sjálf ur. (B e your se lf ) w ith Síð an ske in sól. Dear guest, Welcome to Hátún, The Icelandic Disability Alliance housing estate I live on the ground floor in flat 101. I have left envelopes for you that contain; a letter, a description of ritual, and tasks that involve observing, contemplating and doing things in my home. Although I guide you through the work, you are the main character and the only spectator of what goes on. I love music so each letter starts with a title of a song that I find fitting for that space. When you have read the letter and solved the tasks, please put the envelope where you found it. I have Cerebral Palsy disorder and make use of a wheelchair to travel through life. During your visit I´d like to invite you to sit travel in my domestic chair to gain better insight into my existence. When you read this, I am somewhere on the move, that is how I prefer to be. I travel through town in a specially designed electric wheelchair that I only use when outside, it gives me freedom to go most places in the city. The performance is over when the doorbell rings in half an hour or when you have read the letters and are ready to go. I hope you enjoy the stay. Best wishes, Björk 187

Ritual I You are a house. Inside of you there exists a diverse ecosystem of people, animals and microorganisms. Constant movement in and out, between rooms, apartments and floors maintains perfect balance within your system. Your life is dedicated to the service of your inhabitants for whom you create shelter from weather and winds. You are an equipment of aid to people with diverse abilities so they can be independent in their lives.

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Action Take a seat in the wheelchair and move towards the post-boxes. Read the names in silence and imagine that your name is on one of the tags.

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Observation Observe your feelings and thoughts. Pay attention to your expectations for the performance.

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Contemplation What kind of equipment’s of aid do you need in your life?

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Entrance L íf ið e r y ndisle g t. (L ife is b e autif ul ) w ith H re imur. Welcome to my home. My name is Björk and I am 32 years old, single woman and I live here with my cat Sprettur (Sprint). My friend Kristján, also in a wheelchair, comes over daily. This apartment is our sanctuary. I have lived in this housing estate for five years, but the first three years I lived on fifth floor. It was only after I moved to this flat that I came to terms with living in this house since it is better situated than the previous one. Here is ample space for my chair and Sprettur can easily come and go as he pleases. Pets are prohibited in the house but still there are many cats and dogs that live here. Sprettur is a great pal and is an indispensable part of my life. I have stopped feeling guilty about breaking the rules. Sometimes it is necessary going against the rules. Sprettur might come home while you are here. Cats are very independent animals. I do not attempt to gain control over him. I am just trying to get some control over my own life. I trust you with my home. Greetings Björk

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Ritual II You sneak into the window after a night out and wait for the sleeping one to wake up. When she is up, you follow her every move, into the bathroom, living room and kitchen until she feeds you. When you have eaten enough, she pets you and the two of you communicate in a gentle and tender way. You need to wait until the afternoon for the yummy food to arrive on your plate, but it is worth the wait.

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Observation Pay attention to the organization of the flat.

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Contemplation What could prevent you from taking independent decision? When do you break the rules?

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Action Leave the letter and move in the wheelchair into the bathroom.

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Bathroom Shallow w ith L ad y Ga Ga. The bathroom is designed, for the most parts, with the needs of people in wheelchair in mind and is very convenient. I enjoy singing in the shower, just to live the cliché. Otherwise, I enjoy going to the swimming pool with my friends. Sometimes my friends drive, or I order a pickup and meet up with them at the pool. I always need to organise everything carefully before going places since access issues can be tricky. I am fairly self sufficient and do not need as much aid as many of my friends that live with disabilities.

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Ritual III You are going to the swimming pool with your childhood friend. It is summer and the sun is shining. You roll out in your chair and greet some of the inhabitants on your way out. You feel great and wait for your girlfriend to arrive. When she does you make yourself comfortable in the passenger seat while she packs your chair and puts it in the trunk. On the radio a song with Lady Ga Ga is playing, a song from the film A star is born. You both sing along with the refrain and you tell your friend how well you relate to the main character of the film. She says to you: “Why don´t you take singing classes?“ You laugh. It is not the first time this idea has entered your mind.

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Action Wash your hands.

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Observation Observe the person in the mirror.

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Contemplation What defines you? Do you live any cliches?

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Kitchen Takk f y rir mi g. ( T hank s), w ith I ng ó ve ð ur guð. I enjoy cooking. I cook for Kristján who loves everything I prepare for him. I do traditional Icelandic home cooking and sometimes I make roasted leg of lamb. The kitchen is not designed for people in wheelchair but luckily, I can stand on my feet so I can work in the kitchen with two crutches. My quality moments are dinner parties with family and friends. My family is scattered around, and we seldom meet. My mother lives in Denmark, my father and siblings in Vestmanna Islands and then I have a brother that also has severe CP disorder that lives in a service housing for the disabled in Hafnarfjörður. Compared to my brother I have a lot of quality in my life. My aim is to fight for better quality of life for myself and other people in my situation. I am on the board of Sjálfsbjörg, an association of people with physical disabilities, I also do a lot of voluntary work and am in charge of the social club for youngsters with CP. We do a lot of fun things - my motto is to have fun and to socialize with a lot of diverse people. It is society that makes us disabled, not our selves.

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Ritual IV You have been working the whole day, converting old VHS tapes into digital format, changing from one system to another. You need fresh air, and you need nourishment. In your electric wheelchair you roll to the next neighbourhood. You ring the bell to your childhood friend from summer camp, and she greets you smiling. Her home smells of delicious food and reminds you of your mother.

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Action Find a glass and have some water.

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Observation Pay attention to the design of the kitchen.

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Contemplation Do you need to move something in your life from an old system to a new one?

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Living room I want to break free, with Queen The living room is the centre of the home. Here I leave the chair and sit on the sofa, watch television and listen to music. I am not much here during the day. When I am not working as a substitute receptionist at the Statistic Office of Iceland, I am doing voluntary work or attending a sports event. I am a passionate handball fan, and my team is FH. I attend handball games in winter and football in summer. I shout a lot at the judge and am very opinionated when it comes to interpreting rules. I have not found a particular sport for my self like Kristján, who bowles and plays botcha, but I take it really seriously to be a fan. In the phonebook I am titled Björk Sigurðardóttir FH member. Sprettur is very agile and often plays in his climbing construction while I relax in the sofa. Sometimes an intruder sneaks in, eating the cat food and taking advantage of the cat privileges in the home but most visitors are invited and then we have fun, sing and even dance. I like to be around a lot of people, and I seek places where I have the opportunity to talk to many different people.

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Ritual V You say goodbye to your friend after a nice evening with food and games. You open your computer and start to stream music, the song playing reminds you of a really good traditional country-side ball you attended in Úthlíð in Biskupstungur a few years back. It was a beautiful summer evening, and the atmosphere was so good. You forget time and place immersed in this memory and you move to the music. “There is nothing better than a good countryside ball“ you think to yourself. Then you think about the difference in dancing with crutches, like you did in then, and in the chair. The conclusion is that the technique is very different.

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Observation Pay attention to the messages that you are getting from your environment.

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Action Push the play button on the computer and dance to the music in the wheelchair.

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Contemplation What are the highlights in your life?

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Bedroom Þ að e r g ot t að e lska. (I t is g o o d to Love), w ith Bub bi. Dear guest, This is the last letter and soon the doorbell rings. My bedroom is a bit like a personal shrine. Here I keep everything that relates to my story and the people I love. Here is a drawing that I inherited from my grandfather, a very mysterious picture with a lot of signs that you can interpret in different ways. On the wall you can also see a photo collage of myself that my mother had hanging on her wall until she moved to Denmark, then she gave it to me. Another photo collage is from a trip I made with my friend. I love travelling and to experience new things. Here is also a Manchester United fan scarf, my team in the English League. MU Fanclub in Iceland selects each year one disabled person for a trip to Manchester to experience a game on the home field. One year I got a nomination and was invited – that was a fabulous trip. Even though I love to immerse my self in memories I think a lot about the future and what it might bring. I know that this is not my future home and I also know that I might not have found my place in the world. I would like to have an education and I would also want to buy the house I spend my childhood; I relate so many positive memories to that house. 212

My mother once gave me a deck of Angel cards with positive messages. When we are together, we draw one card each from the deck, just for fun. Then we have positive messages with us into the rest of the day, the evening or the night. I want to leave you with a positive message from an angel. Is it not exactly what you need? I want to thank you for coming. Take care, Björk.

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Ritual VI You are invisible to the people you serve. Your body is pure energy that you use for embracing the ones you were sent to protect. Now you are with the girl you hold so dearly, and you spread love and soothing vibrations around her. You intend to stay with her as long as she needs you. You send her messages through the cards that are named after your kin.

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Observation Look at the pictures on the wall.

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Action Draw a card from the deck, read the message. Write down a positive message to your host and leave it on the nightstand.

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Contemplation What would you keep in your personal shrine? What does quality of life mean to you?

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