The Correspondent, Vol 2 No.6 1977

l

The

'oreign Conespondents' Club of Hong Kong

Vol.2 No.

6

trJust close your eyeg, f' he said t [and thlnk of England ...t

Ww The Officers:

\Mth this issue of

Club magazine

your

Derek

Maitland takes over as Editor,

President

Anthony Paul First Vice President Frank Beatty Second Vice President Keith Jackson Treasu rer

Derek Davies Secretary Donald Wise

the latest in a lengthening list

Fl ublished monthlv as

of such. Although everyone

|,

wishes Derek the best of luck in making the magazine a real

communicator,

it's

respondents' Club of Hong Kong. Offices at 15th Floor, Sutherland House, 3 Chater

worth

heeding his appeal on page - no magazine is going to come close to reflecting the needs and wishes of the seven

Road, Hong Kong. Tel: 5-

membership without some participation from the same.

Cables: CORCLUB HONG KONG. Address all correspondence to: Editor, Foreign Correspondents' Club of

237734 and

One of the basic problems any editor faces is simply the

Sutherland House,

tising: Nida Cranbourne, First Floor,30 lce House St., Hong Kong. Tel: 5-248482.

audience feels things like arEditor

Derek Maitland Photographer

Hugh Van Es Advertising

ticles, photographs. layouts, printing, proofreading, etc., kind of fall from heaven. Not so,

a

Printed by Yee Tin Tong Printing Press, Ltd., Aik San Factory Building, Ground

Give a damned good Editor

Floor, Block A, 14, Westlands Road, Ouarry Bay, Hong

handT DER

Nida Cranbourne

5-233OO3.

Hong Kong, 15th Floor, 3 Chater Road, Hong Kong. Adver-

ignorance of his audience about the mechanics of producing a publication. One gets the impression the

The Staff:

an

organ of the ForĂŠign Cor-

Kong. Tel:5-622271-7.

LE@W

t.a/ 2.2/,',t

Sole Asents: FRENCH FASHIONS LTD., Hong Kong.

f 2ÂĄl t,lLt

SHOCK DISCLOSURE

.TIME

GE\I TS' FOR

PINTA CI-]AMP Burly Mike Holbeche, resting at home after his brilliant victory in the

for the San Miguel Beer Drinking Contest, FCC qualifying round

casually dashed a drop of angastora

bitters into an ice bucket

filled it with gin.

and

"This is my drink. ldon't normal-

ly touch beer," confessed the man who had just stunned the entire FCC membership by downing a pint

of San Mig in the fantastic time of seconds - with a cigarette holder and fresh Woodbine clutch-

3.8

ed in his other hand.

"That was nothing," he candidly admitted. "My fastest time with a pint is 1.8 seconds. l've knocked back a yard of ale in 3.8 seconds. I was only coasting at the FCC." With that, the man who sank the Bismark launched his second shock - announcing he was

of the week

withdrawing from the

Hong

Kong-wide beer drinking clash.

"l've had enough. l've hung

up

my glass for the last time," he said sadly, "That's the trouble with this game - after a while you get a bit stiff in the elbow, your bladder loses

that fยกne tuning that's essential if you want to stay at the top, and then it's time to step down and let the young contenders have a go.

"When you start gettยกng times of

3.8 for downing a pint and 2.8 for making it to the toยกlet, it's time to rest on your laurels."

So what was going through the

mind of this great athlete as

he

stood in the line preparing for yet another try at the title that has virtually been synonymous with his name over the past.few years? "l remember thinking to myself,

well, when you're right at the top of

CLUB AFFA'ÆS 'ANY COMPLAINTS?

us now. . ."

lf

so, tell

So say the cards on the tables, the bars and elsewhere throughout the FCC's three floors. One of the first complaints received expressed

a member's view that 'There are too damn many complaint cards

scattered around the club."

Many, we hope, but not too

many. The purpose of the cards ís neither to decorate nor desecrate the premises. The object of the exercise is simply to improve the quality of food and the standard of service within the club.

lf

a dish is poorly prepared, you it back. But the

can always send

fact that ¡s unsatisfactory is likelY to be known only to you, one waiter and one cook. lf, however, you fill

out a card it will come to

the

attention of the House Committee,

ABOVE: D¡saster strikes Annie Van Es in the form of a cripplíng aír buF ble as she battles for a plaçe in the

women's event.

me from down the line and

CIARIDGE HCUSE now offers o complete

lnterior Design t' ono

Controcting SETViCE

I

thought, OK mate, I may look a bit long in the tooth but I can still give any young shaver a bloody good run for his money.

"l'd downed my pint and had the glass back on the table before he'd even laken his first sip. That showed him a thing or two."

And what does retirement hold

for this immortal of the world drinking scene - surely a few lines in the Guiness Book of Records.

'1Nell, I guess I'll do a

few

We soeciolise in Commerciolond

charity appearances here and there, and maybe pick up a few gongs for

Residentiol work.

some of my championship expertise

Wewillsolve your problems within your budget.

to sport, but

other than

that l'll concentrate on passing

on

to the younger competitors. "ln fact l'm willing to go on record right now offering a threepint, one-handed no-dribbles official bout to any young up-and-coming

in the junior league who'd like to have a one-in-acontender

toilet after."

Full results:

CLAIìIDGC HCUSÇ ro. l2c Sincere lnsurorce Bldg.

4-ó Hennesy Rd., Hong rd 5278121-4

services

lifetime crack at the title.

"And l'll even race him to the

Tolktoour expertstoff ot

4

the tree any youngster who can get his hand around a lager glass is out to topple you. I saw this bloke Chris Minter flexing his elbow and eyeing

Kong.

Men: Mike Holbeche,John Price, Ernest Low, Marcel Toussaint.

Women: Nancy Elliott, Clara Chung, Kathy Bohan, Janet Creighton.

The FCC would like to thank member Mel Tobias of the San Mig

brewery for arranging the event,

and Alan lrons for acting as official

judge.

whose members diligently examine

tabulate complaints, part¡cularly when several apply to and

the same dish.

A landslide of cards indicating that the vichysoisse was ,serve:d

lukewarm resulted in the necessary chilling of the soup. lngredients in the shrimp creole were changed in response to members' comPlaints.

The cards need not serve purely

for complaints. lf we're doing something right, tell us. And if there's something you'd like to add to the menu let us know. We intend

to change the menu every three months and suggestions on new dishes are more than welcome.

+ll*

As a result of incidents in

the

club on Thursday evening, August

4, Miss Marie L. K. Chiu, an associate member has been removed from the membershiP list' Following comPlaints from

several members, a sPecial board meeting was convened on August l8 to consider the problem. Actíon was taken under Articles l4 - 20 of the club constitution. The former member has been notified of the board's decision.

t¡ttS

The board of governors

has

accepted the resignation of the club manager, Mr Gordon Ho. Mr Ho

tendered his resignation for

personal reasons on August 22.

"We're grateful to Gordon for the service he has given us over the

past l5 months," said

club

president Anthony Paul. "We wish him the best of luck tn his future career."

Advertisements

for the

vacant

post are now being placed in papers throughout the Asia-Pacific area. tlltt

The Club was honoured at lunch last month by the modest presence

of Professor Jurgen

Domes, Chairman of the Political Science Section and Director of Research

on

China and East Asian Politics

working pressman sprouting stories

instead of, as he is today,

an

agriculturist sprouting grapes and gratn.

He had some sentimental reunions on the premises but sadly missed an embrace with retired Dr. Liao, The bar chief, now in Texas.

He swears he will be back - with Marjorie, of course.

His address, gravitating between

Manila and US, is: lOlT Minor Avenue, 3O3, Seattle, Washington

98l04. a

of

He is author of several books on

their opponents are on the floor. No biting, scratching or below-belt

affahs, and has now wrìtten a new

At lunch, Dr. Domes, with amiable German oaths, aqqlauded

our house-wine, "Australian, of course, and probably from the Barossa Valley (in South Australía, where German wine-growers predominate)," and our Reuben snack which he said made him "homesick." His loving wife carefully watched his drinking.

ItÍt

Al Ravenholt - 'Albert," not "Alf," mug - spent two crowded happy days in Hongkong last

month, with his lovely

VOA's Jim Miller shot a threeunder par 71 with birdies on the 4th, gth and par-three 1 Sth and a magnificent sand-wedge shot from right-bunker to within six inches of the pin on the 1 7th before it occurred to him that the rest of his foursome were playing pool.

+*t*

wife,

Marjorie. Naturally, they had their

meals in the FCC, of which Al was an original founding member in the old Chungking days, when he was a

punches.

4.

Whoever broke the perspex lamp deserves the pool player's vers¡on of the definition of innuendo - an Italian suppository. Not to say a cue diff

user in the overhead

up the backside.

5. No amateurs will be allowed on the table. Playing for drinks

the food. Good news has usually

gets everyone smashed too quickly and then trouble breaks out.

6. lf these rules are not strictly adhered to, the pool table will be

following one outraged member's

never 1o be naughty again.

Bad news on the lSth floor has long been the miserable standard of been that there's plenty of it. Now,

.

in Taiwan and called "Hustler" are being flogged at $40 each and are well worth buying. Meantime. the new rules go something like this: 1. Members will refrain from using the 18th floor poolroom for javelin practice.

2. Cricket is forbidden on the 18th floor, also baseball if you

3. Players will break on the bell and not use their feet when

German, Russian and Chinese

available in Hongkong.

heard that a special cabinet is to be introduced in which regular players will lock their individual sticks.

These personalised weapons, made

happen to be American.

the Faculty of Law and Economics at Saar University (Germany).

book, "China After The Cultural Revolution," which will soon be

with the continuing destruction of pool cues. Rumours have been

complaint, those soggy sandwiches with the beef stíll kickíng and bellowing as you raise them to your lips have been replaced - by fresh sandwíches made on the spot by

the bar captaín with a variety of fÍllings and good vÍtamin-enriched things like tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce etc. J¡m Miller tried one and immedíately shot a three-under par

7l

wìth birdies on the . .

.

Several members

have

suggested that the club improve its

ground-floor directory after en-

a growing flood of bewildered people roaming about the 1 8th floor nursery asking for the club restaurant. Several have been countering

directed

to the 4th and 1 5th 1

floors, others are still wandering the back stairs trying to find their way back to the street. Dozens are still sitting patiently at their tables in the library looking for a waiter to take

their orders.

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Smíling Sam Weller celebrated his 59th bírthday at lunchtime on August l Tth on the l Sth floor by

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FROM SAM WITH LOVE

Smiling Sam Weller, the new

muscle-man

of Hong Kong's

burgeoning enlerta¡nment scene, slammed the telephone r€ceiver down and sank back into his office

chair.

"That was Sammy. in

Las

Vegas," he announcêd matteroffactly. "Wants to come he¡e for a two-week gig, but I told him we're

already booked up at the FCC." "Sammy Davis Jnr?" "Sammy Fong, the acrobat.

Does a gr€at act with two bamboo rods and an 84-piece Ming dynasty dinner set. Been on the cabaret cir-

cuit for 2O years and

hasn't

dropped anything yet."

W¡th that, the gruff no-nonsense impressario - already dubbed the "Czar ol Stars" since he took over the chair of the FCC's powerful Entertainment Committee - outlined the new era of pleasure that he's

lining up for the

ãffil

'

this place into another Las Vegas overnight."

"Dino?"

"Dino Piccolino. Plays 'Lady of Spain' on the accordion and drinks a glass of water - all at the same time. l'm thinking of booking him in on the 18th floor. He'll fill in with music and laughs while the fights are going on over the pool table."

And what other fun and exin the pipeline for

citemént was

FCC pleasure-seekers, asked this

self-styled Don Corleone

of

the

pireT

FCC.

what

CZAR OF

xlil enchantment from the Sortf,

#"d

sHowBtz

where the grass skirts tremble in

SPEAKS OUT

beautiful Polynesian dancers from

"Friday Night in London Town.

Now I ask you. did you ever see so many people having so much fun?

All we needed was the IRA to plant a couple of bombs and we would have had complete authenticity. I had hoped to get a real Chelsea police unit to bust everybody, but they wanted too much money.

"But that's what we're going for now - authenticity and showbiz."

He gestured casually at the telephone. "You watch. Any second now that phone is going to ring and l'll be talking with Dino. I could turn

the evening breezes and throbbing s-teel gu¡tars

fill the starlit

night.

Close your eyes and imagine the

scene

-

15 singers, musicians

and

Rarotonga, provided by courtesy of

Air New Zealand.

"Suckling pig and oysters and other South Pacific delicacies laid out in the smoky glow of beach

fires as exotic hula girls perform en-

ticing pagan dances and bronzed young men, naked to the waist,

crouch over their drums and guitars

filling the 14th and' 15th floors with the beautiful, haunting Maori lovecall Ooola punka loola wicky wacky

lai-eeeeeeee . . ."

"Ooola punka loola wícky what? "lt means 'Please r€turn to your seat, sir - her husband is the bass

player. with the filed teeth and broken nose.' Everyone, of course,

will be wearing Honolulu strirts and straw skirts and beads - the latter being optional for the men - and drinking authentic Blue Pacific

Cocktails, better known as Bikini Atolls, containing one part coconut

milk, three parts rum, topped up with Strontium 90.

"Additional music will be provid-

ed by the Sound On Disco, and the

whole evening

will

climax

in

a

colourful re-enactment of Captain

Cook's violent death at the hands of Hawaiian cannibals.

a big following of apathetic r€aders who want it to zing but don't want to help put the zing into it. Much of ¡ts contents. especially the humour, has begun centering around a diminishing clieditors and

AI\ APPEAL

que of club personalilies,

It's always tempting, especially for the editor, to turn a one-man

to tell, views to broadcast, complaints to make, jokes to regale and the ability to put words

magazine into a one-man band.

wrenching Polynesian la¡ewell Now

is the hour/When we must saY . . ."

-ooodbve Smíting Sam leaned back again

in his chair and waved his arms exoansively ''That'saround his plush office.

entertainmentl That's want

the sort of stuff people

nowadays. They want escape something to ease the pressure of modern-day living, take their minds

off their FCC bills." The telephone ianqled into life. 'That'll be The 'sanids calling," he said, picking up

the receiver.

"HulloT ls that you, Frankie?

FrankieT How

you going, boy? to Dino. Listen

Yeah, I just talked

Frankie, baby, can you get that

singing dog of yours into shape for the twentieth of next month . . .?"

But that's not what a magazine is all about. lts purpose is to dr3seminate news, views to as wide a readership as possible. And the feedback into the magazine strould be just as broad.

When the magazine happens to be published for the benefit of one of the world's biggest media corps, there should be writers hammering on the door for a chance to get something into the magazine. So. .

. Start hammering.

The Correspondent has been dogged with production problems in the past, largely because it has always lacked the wide-ranging support it needs to become a professionally-produced oracle of a professional community. lt has had

a

succession

of

hard-workíng

noth¡ng kllls than that.

a

and

magazlne quicker

Everyone in the club has a story

together in an intelligible form. On our membership list there are cor-

respondents, local journalists,

novelists, adrærtising copy writers, film-makers, art¡sts, sub-editors - a

captive staff that, if harnessed, could turn out something a great deal more ambilious than a club magazine. So why don't they help

make the club magazine a bit more ambitiousT There are millions of people around the world who don't even see a magazine, let alone have one

of their own. Ours should be a celebration of our club life, not something heaped entirely on someone else's shoulder and then bitched about because it came out late and doesn't set the pulse racing

the moment it's opened up. - DM

s'

:isntt

There is a common opinion that all oins are the same.

It may be true of some. But not of Gordon's. For the way we use juniper. coriander and other botanical ingredients in ourdistilling recipe. makes subtle differences to the taste of our gin.

-

The actualdetails are of course a secret. But the results are not.

Gordon's is tlre best selling gin in theworld. Need we say more?

GORDONS The in drink for generations

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The Canon Centre 11O PRINCES BUILDING, HONG I<ONG

RNIGHT RT THE POI{S

ÎlEr I 8ueàr 'An)rvalt, vere llkc they bloody vaternelona.'

misunderstanding aggravated by the_general gaiety of the evening."

Said the magistrate, Mak Llucuss, fining him $200 with costs:

"After studying these photographs l'd say this wasn't Friday Night in London Town, but pay-night in

Stoke-on-Trent.

endemic

of

I find it

frankly

Britain's decline

in

world importance that a former officer, gentleman and defender of the realm should appear before me on such grave charges."

Police prosecutor, Sgt. To Neeskok, told the court that the incident

occurred while Lt. Street was handing

with the

úYou dlrty devl^L1{

ways. St

already snatched up a microphone, yelled a series of obscene questions at the revellers, then lunged at the bosom of one of the prize-winners.

"He appeared to be trying to fon-

dle the young lady," Sgt. To said.

"Either that or he needs a crash course in the proper way to shake hands."

During cross-examination,

Lt.

Street denied that he had intended

to

assault the winner, Mrs Sally

Hayes, and claimed the whole incident had been simply a pan of the entertainment that happened to get

out of hand.

He said that in order to make the presentation of prizes as fair as

possible for everyone concerned, he

had decided to hold an impromptu competition. He had then asked the

a simple question, and Mrs Hayes won the prize.

Magistrate: 'l¡Vhat exactly was the questionT" Street: "Something quite silly gathering

really."

Magist Street:

ladies at

yellow br

replied

i

approached the stage."

Sgt.To Nees-kok: "The

defendant was then heard to utter words to the effect that it was his responsibility to personally check and verify the said garments."

EHÉ dôaB i

9eÃy qðoé ¡lêt1çú hât

dmç¿, !Þu k¡or.1

Under further question¡ng, Street denied that he had deliberately pull-

ed the girl to the floor. He said he

had Þeen taking a

specially

prescribed Swedish drug to treat an

overweight problem

in

weeks, and that, added

recent the

to

effects of "one or two small beers," had caused him to stumble and fall

while examining the winner's

smalls. He had grabbed at the girl

for support to stop himself falling to the floor.

Street asked for 1 0 other to be taken into account.

offences 10

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Drawing

Ask any Hong Kong-based male clubhouse to match those of its ing at the beginning of October. 3 3 correspondent what he would stellar Oriental sis FCCs ,of l }f;"ii* X,l"lr.; ! ally be a hotel's ô op the Gray new club Õ

as our contribution to the?

President's buildino fund. Naturalþ.? any help from our-friends in Hong ! d open- Kong will be welcome. a superb

red'it

in

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FOCUS B'NSE THE BLOOD OFF MY DICE CUPI Bv DEREK MAITLAND

little inated of the lemen

third roll and blew the backside out

of his top bonus.

The whole structure of the game points to it having been a

qentleman's pasttime. Bodily con-

iact is forbidden, for one thing, and apart from the overall competition for points and boxes the average

player's fiercest oPporlent

is

usually himself.

Hoûever, there is one sneaking

rumour that the game was devised

by the common soldiers,

sailors

and marines aboard Great Britain's Yangtze River fleet - and that would place its origins closer to

the "lower decks" and perhaPs explain why in these modern times, in c€rtain quarters of the FCC, ¡t has become an absolute travesty of the very words "honour" and "fair play."

Anyone who has ventured uP into the smoky, curtained asYlum

of the club's 1 8th floor Gan see how this harmless sport of dice,

once played amid genteel banter and Oriental ferns, has become a diseased dog-eat-dog test of brute strength and naked avarice.

The combatants s¡t

hunched

like vultures,

malevolentlY, of fresh air to despatch

the weak and crippled

with

coarse outbursts of vile, disPassionate sarcasm - "Hah I You just went five{own with only your

twos open! Look

everYbodY!

Dingbat just went five-down with only twos to playl What a pathetic qetin! Har har harl" Not a word of sympathY. Not so

'S

ensurround Sam' shakes'em up

on his top bonus, tries desPeratelY to turn his two threes into a pitiful three-of-a-kind, w¡th his fuur+f already blown. and ends uP staring blankly at two aces and a six.

"Dingbat's throwing very well, isn't he?"

"Oh, he's certainly

improved

much as a flicker of compassion'

out of sight lately."

poor sweat-streaked loser panics

have a dingbat him in the game. isn't it."

Just a constant running commentary of rude asides as some 12

'Wonderful, wonderful player."

"Nice

to

like

"Maybe he'll

and try a cold-fl "Maybe he'll

Dingbat take reta¡ns his two and indicates that he'll bravelY go for broke on three-of-a-kind. En-

couragement comes from all corners of the table.

"Suckerl" "Shall I scratch he throws?"

it

now, before

"Boy, is this gonna be

Pure

shakes, his whole bodY shakes. the

it'at"t, the windows rattle,

i"ULe

iñã tloor. heaves, the entire building

trembles

- and down below in

Club Street,crowds flee in terror as broken masonry crashes on to the roofs of cars, At the height of the

courageous gamble.

'Asshole!"

'What a rodent!"

"Who invited him into the game' anyway?"

deleteds."

"HOW FOn?" OUrìl - Watching Nick Ouin play, You wonder how the hell he's not in the toilet slashing his wrists with a broken NtcK

TUTTOUS

beer glãss. His dice game is a horri-

ble pãgeant of agonY and desPaìrgsa he'hu-rls himself around griefashfi stricken in his chair, his face conand e torts w¡th misery, he almost weeps His head with anguish "opponents groan. "StoP buSSgt as he bangs his "l take any more can't tabJe. the on w¡th on and..get Sam, ing about, of this. How can anYorß throw the it." Sam starts shaklng agaln same rotten dice time after time and throws four sixes. And grins.

THE REVEREND DON ÙONK - Claims to have a close affinity with God the sort of affinity

-

enjoyed by defrocked Priests, Also exócutes an unnerving dice throw in the cubes out them before

K, God

ten

.

.."

And

-

we

;f#;Ini""å

"r|."

his two pair, sobbing gentlY, keePs sixeð - then dumps three more

two

rioht alonoside them. His eyes sñine with- sudden release. "Oh, how forCuìtous 7" Next throw, he dumps the same two Pair again' "Oh God, I can't take anY more of this . . ."

MALCOLIU''NOBBY'' SUN. ßlz - Wins consistentlY and consistentlv refuses to allow a doPe test on his dice' Cold-floPs more

three for high straight. Glares con-

temotuousÑ around the table, humi a littl'e hymn. "God wanted me to do that - You exPletive

straiohts than most of us have baked dinners. Approaches the game

with a coldlY analYtical mind' a

dead-pan exþression, sardonic ad-

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Tailorlng nnd ßeaûY-modc clothllng

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Ground Floor 6 Duddell St. Hong Kong

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Printing House,

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lp Io,

t'o =

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vice l¡ke "You're onlY two-down,

slamming a neat 24 inlo his uPPer

deck. And cackles hYstericallY about it. "How tPice," he crows. writino it in.

BILL BÃTTL' NG Don't be misled bv Bill's endless banter and STEPHENSOIU

hándlebar moustache. Or the imoression he gives that he onlY sat

äown to takã the weight off

his

Laurie" on a nose-flute - all at the same time. When his opponents

have lost sufficient control of their

nerves he casually spills his dice all

over the place and stares at them.

"Let's see - that's a two, a four, a

see how pitiful has been the world's

campaign

Whose name shall remain anonvmous for Professional

sports,

I

to

stamP out blood-

reasons. Whoever dreamt uP the

'PR ROULETTE'

I

_A GAÍUIE

l

NOBODY WI'VS

By MICHAEL PASCOE

stat¡on in the Government Gazette?"

The answer (several more laterl : "Don't know."

daYs

Armed with this vital ¡nfor-

mat jour

est¡gat¡ve sat down

an9,

ll gazette olans for the destruction ofthe coniroversial Tsi mshatsui railwaY station, official sources disclosed yesterday. ' "However, myst€ry surrounds the handling of the demolit'ton at this stage' Drooramme ' 'tlt ís believed that even high-

rankino civil servants are on a 'need-io-know' basis about the future of the former gateway 1o China.

"lt is known, though, that the Government Plans to gazette a

demolition' Programme.

A

Govern meni çokesman unwillinglY

confirmed this but mfused to give

anvdetails.."'

'But

as this is a true story, the

Dress - As Aenoulrles. häs named the game, B has

first bid and selects "buck

Pass."

However, two bids are allowed on "buck pass" so A also chooses it.

Journalist B then has to name

the department to which he thinks

the buck will go. ln this hypothetical example,

he

selects

the Housing Department which A follows by selecting the New

Territories Administration.

You better ring the Housing Department, they keep those

figures."

This is a hard case to adjudicate,

as both were correct. Strictly speaking, the first correct prediction received wins, but A and B agree to let it jackpot again and switch to the "time taken" section.

I go along, both A and B lose

This is the section that r€ally depends on local knowledge. Player

Crown Lands and Survey Office

A (who has noticed that it is 4 pm on a Friday) chooses "more than

As l'm making up the game

as

when the GIS officer on duty tells A he will harre to ring the PWD as the

"probably" has the figures.

Players A and B agree to let the bets jackpot and continue to play reactions. This time A has first

choice and puts his money on "Why do you want to know?." B decides to stick with "buck pass."

With B listening in on another extension, A rings the PWD press office: "Press inquiries."

"Hello, Fred Nurk here from the Morning Mail. l'm trying to find out the estimated number of rooftop dwellers in Tsun Wan."

"Aww, shit. What do you want

to know that for?"

(Journalist A smirks at B, thinking he has won). "l think it would be a fair.guess that l'm trying to do a story on it."

"Aww, hell. We wouldn't have that sort of information anyway.

B opts for "less than one hour," but

two days,"

As A expected, the only Housing

Department officer capable of answering the question is in a meeting ( i.e. has not come back from lunch) and will not be back this afternoon. A wins.

When players select the "answers" question. they may choose from: "No comment" (a sure bet with the ICAC); "Don't know" (odds-on favourite at the Government Secretariat); "1'll call you right back- sometime" ( always a chance ); "Full truth" ( no record

of anyone wlnning on thie); "Some truth" (a real goer at the Housing Department); "Selected facts" (Police Public Relations Bureau speciality); "Bullshit" (Medical and

Health Department, top weight); and "Correct answer to wrong question" (GlS stalwart).

One game often goes on for a week or more. There is a case on record of a player backing "bullshit"

who won four times on the one question to Medical and Health

about blood group tests.

11 is wise to put a time limit on

games as the issues at stake may be forgotten. Two players are still waiting for a result to an "answers"

match four months after the

question in question was put to the

tcAc.

The game obviously has a big future in Hongkong, although there is some evidence that one or two "information" officers are on the verge of realising they are being

toyed with.

I base this belief on another true story concerning a principal infor-

mation ollicer Z and two journalists, X and Y. Z, v,tho knew Y socialþ, asked

him at a party what he knew about journalist X, "What do you mean," asked Y.

"Aww, you know, what's

his

"Why?" asked Y., "The bastard keeps ringing

me

game, who does he think he is, what is he trying to do7" repliedZ. up and asking me questions," said the amazed and rather shocked "information" officer.

Now who would want to do thing like thatT

Tlre SrnootJrclt- Mover lets ycrL¡ en¡oy yc¡ur trtove.

We know fr.oñr 3e years of experience Èhat rn()v¡ng doesn't have to bc- a cl-raot¡c t¡usinees.

l r€lrll corne Uo your. ho¡ne and give you a realieÈic quotat¡on, and if you're Bat¡af¡ed w¡th tlîat werll expertly pack and corrtainer¡6c! ycrur poeseesions and insure thern if you wistr.

We'll provide you waÈh experienced door-to-door gervice..,anywhere in the world.

Cafl Jolrn Moore aÈ,5-714237 of "Why do they keep asking me guestions?"

catclî h¡fYì at the Fcc... for ÈhaÈ Bmc¡oÈher tytove.

a

The AĂ&#x2030; of Gommunication

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