Scales

by Pastor Glenn Scales

My eighth grade year was a mess.

I’m guessing that I’m not alone here in this admission. Most of us remember the challenges that came during our middle school years (it was still called “junior high” when I was a kid), as the transition into adolescence can result in challenging times. I was still a very shy, awkward, and socially inept kid in eighth grade, and I was in the early years of trying to work out what my relationship with God was supposed to look like. I remember a period of several months during that year when I came up with this daily system of reflecting on “how good of a Christian” I had been each day before my evening prayers. (Yes, I was THAT analytical at thirteen years old.) I had a scale from one to ten; starting from ten, I would subtract a point for every incident during the day where I felt I had gone against God’s will. Used a swear word? Deduct one point. Lied to a parent about finishing an assignment? One point. At the end of each day’s assessment, I would start my evening prayer by apologizing to God for my typically low scores.

I remember keeping this regimen up for several months. By the summer after finishing eighth grade, this practice faded away from my evening routine. The guilt of continuously feeling that I had fallen short so regularly had worn me down spiritually and emotionally. I think my newly-adolescent self had good intentions in creating this system, but there was a component that was clearly absent in this process. I remember that I would feel very apologetic and guilty about my shortcomings, but I don’t remember reminding myself about the Grace that God grants. I rarely finished my prayers being grateful to God for his forgiveness, for his mercy, or for his promise that he loves us unconditionally. The epiphany of the wideness and grandness of the Grace of God was to come many years later in my spiritual journey (which is a story for another time).

During Lent, we reflect on Christ’s journey during his final days towards his ultimate sacrifice on the cross. Many of us look at this season as a time to be solemn and humble, reflecting on our finite and imperfect nature and how God worked through his son Jesus to confront sin and darkness once and for all. However, just as Jesus’ death at Calvary on a Friday was not the end of the story, we have the promise and joy that Sunday is coming. We should remember that there are several movements in the symphony that was Jesus’ life journey, and so it is with our own journeys. It IS good for us to reflect on where we have come from, looking at both the celebrations and the challenges. But Christ’s death AND resurrection reminds us that we move forward, thanks to the God that never leaves us or gives up on us, and promises us life, forgiveness, and Grace.

The next time you see a middle schooler, consider giving them a hug and letting them know they are rated and loved with the highest possible score–by God and by us.