Where there’s smoke …

(Continued from Page B1) sibling relationship, really. We love to bust each other’s chops, but we also have each other’s backs. Personally, some of our best friends are Canadians. This, of course, makes me fully capable of declaring myself an “expert” on the country.

Like most people with only a loose grasp of geography, I assume that anything that happens anywhere in Canada is, in fact, happening to our friends.

I have also been known to ask anyone from Canada if they know them? “Kelly from Canada. Do you know her?” She assures me she did not start the fire. I checked. I made sure to contact our friends immediately. “What are you burning up there?” I just assumed maybe someone had left biscuits on too long, as you do. Nope. Turns out to be wildfire smoke.

Struggle. We are staggering around with burning eyes, wheezing breath and lumps in our chest. For the record, I am indoorsy. I know you’re shocked. I still struggle to function in this endless haze.

I cannot imagine what it must be like for people who actually have to be outdoors. Athletic types. People who work outdoors. Asthmatic people. They all must be suffering. Meanwhile, I hide indoors and Google to see if they make a N95 mask to fit our goat. Short answer: no.

We are heading into our nation’s independence day holiday. It falls on a Tuesday this year, so this means people will celebrate with fireworks for two whole weekends and a solid week in between. We may not even notice any lingering smoke from our neighbors up north once all the barbecues are fired up and the oftmentioned “rockets red glare” are “bursting in air.”

To be fair, up until recently Canada’s most annoying export was those darned Canada geese. Beautiful, but oh so incredibly messy. They are also total jerks. It’s like all the less than stellar personality traits were given to the geese so that the human citizens of Canada could remain almost unfailingly nice.

I’m still considering Canada one of my besties. One of my core memories of visiting that fine country is my discovery of the joy of poutine. Poutine is a delicious Canadian recipe made with french fries, gravy and cheese. To this I say, sure it’s smoky right now, but we can forgive a lot from people who put gravy on fries.

(Kymberly Foster Seabolt welcomes comments @LifeOutLoud@Comcast.net; P.O. Box 38, Salem, Ohio 44460; or KymberlyFosterSeabolt.com.)