Scene july 2016

JULY 2016 - southernminnSCENE.com

Southern minn

Scene YOUR FREE GET-OUT SOURCE TO SOUTHERN MINNESOTA

NOMINATING BEGINS JUNE 20th SCENE

BEST SoMinn 20 16

of

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204 2nd Street South West, Waseca, MN

Waseca’s Best Rated spot for Breakfast and Lunch!

Burger of the Month

Weekly Specials: MONDAY: Chicken Salad on a bed of lettuce w/fresh fruit

June - Grand Slam Breakfast Burger

TUESDAY: Turkey Panini w/kettle chips

1/2 lb. Angus Beef burger, topped with bacon, cheese, crispy hash browns, and a cooked to order fried egg

WEDNESDAY: BLT w/kettle chips

July - Bacon Mac & Cheese Burger

1/2 lb. Angus Beef burger, topped with our extra creamy homemade bacon macaroni and cheese, served on a fresh bun

THURSDAY: Taco Salad

“Earl at the Piano” - June 25, July 9, & July 30 • 5pm-8pm

SATURDAY: Chef’s Choice

Buy 1 Dessert, get the second 1/2 Off Must be of equal or lesser value.

Expires 7/15/16.

Limit 1 per customer.

Check out our Early Bird Specials from 4pm-5:30pm and our NEW “Summer Favorites” menu!

FRIDAY: Turkey Club

204 2n d St. SW., Waseca

204 2nd Street South West, Waseca, MN • 507.833.7540

Music on the Patio

6pm - 9pm

Enter through the Starfire Restaurant if it happens to rain , the bands will play inside club 57

ANNUAL

Thursday, June 16th Ben Johnson & The Road Beers Thursday, Juy 7th Jeremy Poland

WIN FREE BEER

IN OUR GAME ROOM! Thursday, July 21st Kozy Lil Duo SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 17

CLASSIC CAR SHOW

Call for information & Reservations: 507.835.1146 After 4pm: 507.837.9848

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Thursday, June 23rd Los Tequileros

Registration at 9am followed by the Classic Car Lake Cruise that leads off the Marching Band Parade at 12:30pm

AWARDS FOR THE “TOP 20” ALONG WITH DRAWINGS AND OTHER PRIZES!

204 2nd Street South West, Waseca, MN 507.833.8756

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204 2nd Street South West, Waseca, MN 507.833.4700

F o ll o w u s

206 2nd Ave. SW For Reservations: 507.461.1387

204 2nd Street South West, Waseca, MN 507.833.7540

Call for information & Reservations: 507.835.1146 After 4pm: 507.837.9848

A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

JULY 2016 / VOLUME 4 / ISSUE 7

CONTENT 4 So It Goes In SoMinn

A minor tragedy sets Autumn to

considering what makes her happy.

6 SoMinn SOUND

And now a few words about America’s Greatest Living Icon

8 The miracle of SPAM and why

it deserves a museum

One man’s journey from

snobbery to deep appreciation

for that little blue can.

10 The Story of SPAM

A brief history of SoMinn’s favorite canned meat.

16 The 20 Best SPAM recipes

you’ve never seen

We’ve compiled our own list of some

of the best and most creative uses of SPAM.

22 Woldum TV

A former TV snob repudiates her past

and takes over one of Scene’s key columns.

24 Kate’s Cut

Yes, you have an amazing TV and lots of things to watch. But you still need to have that movie theater experience.

26 An Unforgetable Ride

Kasota businessman Tony

Borglum offers customers a

one-of-a-kind driving experience.

28 The TimeLine

The SoMinn’s most comprehensive

calendar of things to be SCENE.

40 The Bookworm Sez:

• Brown is the New White looks at the new American political landscape.

• ‘Trombone Shorty’ is a great kids book that parents will love too.

• ‘Dear County Agent Guy’ recalls the good, the bad and the ugly of farm life.

• ‘The Fireman’ is a chilling novel.

• Terry McMillan pens a great novel about the one’s that got away.

44 CD Reviews:

• Radiohead look back sonically with a heartbreaking swirling headphone album for the lost and lonely.

• Jame’s Blake’s ‘The Colour in

Anything’ will earworm your way into your brain whether you want it to or not.

• Jack Klatt’s ‘Shadows in the Sunset’ stands with some of Minnesota’s best.

• On their second album, The Counterfactuals seem more focused and serious about making great music.

48 Sportsball

The Twins are not doing anything to

make the Spring (or Summer) much fun.

50 The Bearded Life

Becoming immense for the ladies — an introduction to unwanted emails.

Visit travelingwallfaribault2016.org or call 507-412-9139 for more info

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 31 3PM - 5PM: Wall arrives under escort.

Route is currently planned to go from Steele County Fairgrounds through downtown Owatonna, up Highway 45 through Medford and downtown Faribault, ending at the Rice County Fairgrounds. Please feel free to participate with motorbike, car, truck, etc, or to welcome the Wall by lining the streets with your American Flags.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1 7AM - Noon: Setup of Wall (volunteers needed) 1PM: Unofficial opening - Wall opens for visiting 24/7 6:30PM - 7:30PM: Official opening program

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 2 24 Hours: Wall open for visiting

Daily Programs planned Please note that during the evening a High School football game will be played adjacent to the Wall location. Visitors are advised that noises like music and cheering will happen during their visit.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 3 24 Hours: Wall open for visiting

It’s Coming

Daily programs and Religious services planned

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 24 Hours: Wall open for visiting

NOMINATING SCENE 20 BEGINS 16 JUNE 20th of

Daily programs and Religious services planned

BEST SoMinn

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 Midnight - 2PM: Wall open for visiting 2PM - 3PM: Closing Ceremony 3PM Tear Down and Cleanup (volunteers needed)

The Best of SoMinn 2016 at

southernminnscene.com ABOUT

Publisher & Editor: Rich Larson, 507.645.1104, rlarson@southernminnSCENE.com Calendar listings: 507.333.3130, editor@southernminnSCENE.com

Southern minn

Scene

Advertising: Faribault & Kenyon - Mark Nelson, 507.333.3109, mnelson@faribault.com LeSueur & Waseca Counties - Chad Hjellming, 507.645.1110, chjellming@northfieldnews.com Lonsdale - Lori Nickel, 507.744.2551, lnickel@lonsdalenewsreview.com Northfield & South Metro - Jay Petsche, 507.645.1120, jpetsche@northfieldnews.com Steele County - Ginny Bergerson, 507.444.2386, gbergerson@owatonna.com

Copyright 2016 SouthernminnSCENE.com retains the publication rights to all content produced or supplied to the SCENE. Use of said materials without the written consent of SoutherminnSCENE.com is prohibited. Contents copyrighted; all rights reserved.

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Sponsored by Faribault Elks, American Legion, VFW, SAL, 40-8, Marine Corps League, Faribault Foundation F o ll o w u s

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AUTUMN VAN RAVENhorst Autumn Van Ravenhorst is a staff writer and columnist for SouthernMinn Scene. If you live in the Owatonna area, she’d also be happy to sell you an ad in this wonderful magazine.

Drop her a line at AVanRavenhorst@owatonna.com

So it goes in SoMinn

Well shit.

tree branch fell on my car today. It left a sizeable dent where the hood meets the windshield and yes, the glass is cracked. Over the next couple of days, it will likely spider and spread, for which I will eventually be pulled over.

I discovered it when I was heading out to write this. And with that unfortunate event, I changed the angle of my column.

I actually decided to shop around for a new car last week, but didn’t find anything I fancied. I am not looking for an upgrade—I am looking for cheap comfort. I did, however, find a wagon that I was super excited about. You read that right, a wagon. I can fit all of my favorite things in a wagon: my kids, an excess of blankets and perfectly ripe avocados. But it smelled like dog. Hot, wet, there’s no getting it out of the fibers, dog.

I had planned on trading in my car to shave a little off the price of said vehicle, but then you know, a tree branch fell on it. And with that, I found that other people were more troubled about my car than I was. I get it—life is a pain in the ass when something you depend on every day all of a sudden isn’t there.

Then, if you don’t have the cash, there is taking out the loan for a depreciating asset. But in case it hasn’t sunk in yet, the

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world will find a way to put you into debt no matter how hard you try not to.

I am really not too upset about it. I just sort of cocked my head at the situation and said, “Well, shit.” Got in my car, and here I am.

I am not mad that my car is now crap because cars don’t make me happy. I don’t like paying for it. I don’t like when my ass is set on fire because someone needed leather interior.

I will never understand how being in a vehicle can turn the most introverted and well-mannered individual into a complete dickhead.

I will be more distraught by someone putting nonfat milk in my coffee instead of cream over my car being totaled. There may be some crying, but it will be caused by a combination of the coffee and the car—not the car alone.

Creamy, delicious coffee makes me happy. My kids mistakenly calling someone else mom out of trust makes me happy.

Her name is Jennie and she rocks some serious socks. She makes my life easier than a fully functional vehicle.

Peeing alone makes me happy. And that isn’t a joke—hoping to relieve ourselves in private isn’t something us moms just made up so people would feel sorry for us. When you’ve experienced chubby little fingers struggling under the bathroom

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door while your pants are down, you’ll appreciate your privacy a bit more.

And then there is Spam. Growing up, waking up to Spam sizzling on the stove with Bob Barker’s voice echoing down the hallway was the pinnacle of my Saturday. I would jubilantly saunter down to breakfast with my oversized butterfly T-shirt, be dished my hearty serving of Spam and sit down to watch the “Price is Right.”

I have never cooked my own Spam, though. I don’t want it sliding out of its can to have a long-lasting effect on me. I am like those people who don’t want to know where their food comes from—except I can’t even watch it come out of the packaging. I just want to be handed my plate of Spam, pan fried and ready to eat.

And as a 90s kid, I am feeling all nostalgic over Spam because we feel nostalgic over everything. In fact, 90s nostalgia has been flooding my newsfeed lately. It’s probably because my fellow millennials and I are going through some pretty big changes right now. A lot of that “real world” stuff is here that rightfully got overlooked by Surge, Skip-It, Heads Up 7-Up, orange Nickelodeon VHS tapes and Mr. Feeny.

I wonder what I will be seeing and remembering 20 years from now. I can tell you it definitely won’t be my car.

A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

It’s Coming NOMINATING BEGINS th of JUNE 20

SCENE

BEST SoMinn 20 16

The Best of SoMinn 2016 at

southernminnscene.com Owatonna 160 26th Street NE 507-413-0819

August 12 – Vetter Stone Amphitheater Tickets available at the Verizon Center Box Office, by phone at 800-745-3000 or online at ticketmaster.com

Albert Lea 2588 Bridge Ave. 507-373-9194

Best Mexican Restaurant Best Margarita, best Burger Owatonna Hours: Sun - Thurs: 11-10 Fri & Sat: 11-11

BEST

Albert Lea Hours: Sun-Tues: 11-9• Wed & Thurs: 11-10 Fri & Sat: 11-11

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S.O. Minn SOUND

SARAH OSTERBAUER Sarah Osterbauer is a die-hard music lover. When she does her budget each month, food comes after concert tickets. Find her on twitter @SarahOwrites.

#NowPlaying Flume - This Australian EDM producer’s music is soul heavy, infused with large doses of R&B elements. His new album Skin dropped on May 27 featuring collabs with Tove Lo and Vic Mensa.

The Staves - The sister trio’s new EP Sleeping In A Car is so good, you’ll wish it was a full length. Their songs are beautifully crafted, expertly executed with harmonies that would make a grown man cry.

What we talk about when we talk about

Ruth B - The snapchat star who wrote her hit single “Lost Boy” inspired by a TV show has an EP proving she’s more than a one hit wonder. Her tender vocals have an endearing sweetness that she uses to sing clever catchy piano jams.

Beyoncé

Go See

W

hen someone mentions Beyoncé, there are a lot of things people want to talk about.

They want to talk about her talent, as if it might be lesser because she has an army of people writing songs for her versus writing them solo. They want to talk about her authenticity because we know she was bred to be a star by her drill sergeant father. They want to talk about whether or not she’s a role model for young girls because she dares to bare skin and sings songs about sex. They talk about her blackness, and exactly what the meaning was behind her video for “Formation”. But what people don’t talk about as much is what she does for women, how big her impact is, and not just for black women, but all women.

People forget the climb she went through to become the superpower she is today. She wasn’t always Queen Bey. First she was Beyoncé Knowles, one member of Destiny’s Child. They hit the pinnacle of their popularity in the mid to late 90s with girl power jams like “Say My Name” and “Bootylicious.”

They were sugary, but sassy and strong. They called out cheaters. They knew their worth. And they were survivors.

In 2002 Beyoncé split from Destiny’s Child to go solo. She hit the ground running with her debut album Dangerously In Love. Packed with sultry dance hits and a scorcher of a title track, she began her reign over pop music. It may have taken a while for the masses to see it, but she climbed up on that throne and never came down.

In 2011, Beyoncé fired her father from her management and decided to manage herself (as she tells it on her mini doc Year of 4). She wanted creative control over everything she did, from choreography, songwriting, styling, everything. This was a turning point for her. The edges on her songs became sharper, her jams hit harder, subject matter more personal, her style more refined and high end. She somehow managed to be a diva, but remain relatable.

She showed just enough of her private life to make fans feel like they knew her but kept it private enough to maintain her mystique. And most importantly, she showed us who run the world, girls.

2013, she put out Beyoncé, her most provocative and personal album yet.

It was dripping in sex, feminism

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Soul Asylum July 10 at Mayo Park as a part of the Down ByThe Riverside series.

Willie Nelson & Kris Kristofferson - June 28 at Vetter Stone Amphitheater, get out there and see the man, the myth, the legend himself.

Rock the Garden - As this issue goes to print, Rock the Garden will take over Boom Island Park in Minneapolis.

See SoMinn favs Poliça, Hippo Campus and Nathaniel Rateliff and the Nightsweats.

This Happened and vulnerability. She coined new girl power phrases like “Flawless” and everyone’s favorite “I woke up like this.” She called out the problematic socialization of girls, and the way our culture sets women up to be against each other. She let us know that even Beyoncé feels jealous and she commiserated with us on the pain the comes with impossible beauty standards.

Now it’s 2016 and I’m standing in the bleachers at TCF Bank Stadium, trying to make sure my jaw doesn’t hit the floor. I watch in awe as this singular woman commands the attention of 35,000. Moment after moment produces feelings of amazement and disbelief. She dances and sings full out with lung capacity not of this world. She smiles and thanks us with genuine gratitude and wonder at the masses singing back her words to her. She snarls angry lines and pours her heart into the sad ones. How can one person produce such a spectacle and at the same time create a stadium full of emotion? When she broke out into Our Dearly Beloved’s “Beautiful Ones” the lump in my throat could no longer be suppressed. Tears rolled down my face and I could feel my chest heavy and heaving. In that moment I started to slightly regret the 18 layers of eyeliner I put on for the show, assuming at least 5 of those layers were now running down my cheeks.

I hoped at the very least I would not be alone. The women at this show wore their very best sorry-Iain’t-sorry, sexy, powerful, boss lady ensembles to watch our hero remind us why we work so damn hard. She reminded us that it’s OK to be vulnerable.

It’s OK to be jealous, to be angry, to be scared, to feel hurt but also that it’s OK to forgive, to let go

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Nick Menza 2016 claimed yet another, former drummer of Megadeath collapsed on stage, an apparent result of cardiovascular disease at the age of 51.

and to be human. And being all these things is what makes us beautiful.

With the release of Lemonade, Beyoncé validated all of our anger at men, at society, at a culture designed to tear us down. She showed that women at the bottom and women at the top share the same struggles, the same concerns and insecurities. This woman, this super power being, with legs for days and not a rhinestone out of place, steps into her leotard the same way we all do, one leg at a time.

Then she puts her cape on and grinds until she has everything she wants. And in doing so, inspires other women to do the same. As a woman trying to create art and somehow make that a thing, she inspires this particular writer to hit “send” on emails to people who will probably say no. She inspires me to put my ideas on the table that I once kept to myself in a journal no one saw. She shows women we can be our own boss. We control our destiny and pull our own strings. We’re responsible for our future.

We don’t have to stand still or stay silent when bad things happen to us. And when they do, we make lemonade.

Madonna - As award shows start stacking up for the year, so do the tributes to our beloved Prince.

Madonna’s performance at the Billboard awards though heartfelt, was met with criticism. Prince fan and friend came to her defense calling out the guts it takes to do a tribute and that hers was not the first nor the last, reminding us that we all suffered a loss and many of us, performers included are only trying to mourn him the best way we know how.

Janet J - Janet cancelled her tour because she is going to be a mom at 50. Go Janet go. We can’t wait to see Baby J.

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8th annual Blues on Belgrade Saturday, July 23, 2016 | 12:00pm-11:00pm

Nominate us at southern minn scene.com

BEST

Nominate Us Best Bowling Alley Best Sports Bar

2016 Band lIne-uP

Best Patio

9:30-11PM laMont Cranston | 7:30-9PM deB Callahan 5:30-7PM CItY Mouse | 3:30-5PM FunCtIon JunCtIon 1:30-3PM BareFoot WInos | 12-1PM the eChoes BIg Band

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Check out our new arcade and laser tag!

5th annual oktoBerFest saturday, september 24, 2016 2:00pm-10:00pm Bells on Belgrade Saturday, December 3, 2016 | 3:00pm-6:00pm

businessonbelgrade.org

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WWW.CAMPMAIDENROCK.COM F o ll o w u s

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The new SPAM Museum, located on Main Street in Austin.

The miracle of

SPAM ,

By RICH LARSON editor@southernminnscene.com

I

’d never eaten SPAM before.

Me. The Head Cheerleader of Southern Minnesota. The guy who, given any sort of window, will fill your ears with tales of SoMinn wonder and amazement. A man who loves this soil like doctors love the Mayo Clinic, like Lutherans love St. Olaf College, like Adam Young loves fireflies, had never partaken in the ultimate Southern Minnesota delicacy.

Though it may not look like it, I’m a picky eater. I was in college the first time I tried sour cream. I didn’t really try asparagus until I was 31 years old. I don’t think I’ve ever tried cottage cheese, and I have no plans to do so anytime soon. SPAM was just not something that I found appetizing when I was a kid and I had never really revisited that decision.

Cut me some slack; I grew up in Edina and food snobbery isn’t an easy thing to shake.

At least I recognized the hypocrisy of that thinking. If you’re going to love Southern Minnesota, you can’t dismiss anything out of hand. How did I know that I didn’t like SPAM? I didn’t. There was absolutely nothing to base that on.

I’d love to let you all think that my attitude changed because of my regional pride, or due to some sort of SoMinn altruism. No, it’s more because I can’t keep my mouth shut.

Flashback to the glorious summer of 2015. I was working on an article extolling the things everybody should do and see during the summer in Southern Minnesota before they die (creatively, I was calling it the SoMinn Summertime Bucket List). This magazine had criminally underserved the great city of Austin, Minnesota during my term as editor, and I saw this as a golden opportunity to correct that mistake. I would put The SPAM Museum at the top of that list.

It would have been a great idea, except for one small problem: there was no SPAM Museum.

Rather, we were sort of between SPAM Museums. It turns out that the Hormel Company had claimed the old museum for office

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space and, in anticipation of the company’s 125th anniversary in 2016, was building a brand new SPAM Museum in downtown Austin.

Well, then. If there was going to be a brand new SPAM museum, then there would be a whole SPAM issue of SouthernMinn Scene.

I got in touch with Nancy Schnabel, who runs the Austin Convention and Visitor’s Bureau, asking her to put me in touch with the proper people at Hormel. During our conversation, I mentioned to her that I’d never eaten SPAM before, calling it my “dirty little secret.”

She could have shamed me. She could have laughed at me. She could have mocked and ridiculed me. Instead, she very Matterof-Factly decided that this would not stand and that she and I would tour the new museum and then go have a SPAM burger at a local establishment.

And so the day came in early May. The new museum had begun its “soft opening,” so Nancy and I met in the lobby at the appointed time to explore the shiny new SPAM Museum. This is actually the third SPAM Museum. The first opened in 1991 as the Hormel Foods First Century Museum.

Located in the Austin Oak Park Mall, it was a store front with an entrance fashioned as a gigantic SPAM can. Ten years later, the Museum re-located and was officially christened The SPAM Museum. Among the features was a wall of more than 3000 SPAM cans and a short film detailing SPAM’s history, appropriately named SPAM: A Love Story.

As wonderful and kitschy as the first two locations were, neither could hold a candle to the new facility. The museum is now a stand-alone facility, centrally located in Downtown Austin.

This is an impressive place. It’s 14,000 square feet of interactive exhibits, galleries, artifacts and SPAM cans. You know how amusement parks all have a centerpiece landmark? Disney has Cinderella’s Castle in the Magic Kingdom and that big shiny golf ball at EPCOT Center. Well at the SPAM museum, you have Can Central, a center island built around pillars of SPAM cans, with a gleaming, oversized SPAM can hovering over the center. Within this inviting blue-andgold monolith, you’ll find several interactive

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and why it deserves a museum

screens, all ready to show you any of the hundreds of SPAM recipes (choose from breakfast, lunch or dinner) that Hormel has invented and collected over the years. It begins to give you an idea of how long SPAM has been around and how this little blue can of pork has woven itself into the fabric of American, and international, life and culture.

The first gallery we wandered into housed the “1891 and Beyond” exhibit. Stocked with artifacts from Hormel’s early days, it tells the story of the Hormel founders, George A. Hormel and his brothers Benjamin, John and Herman, as well as George’s son Jay C. Hormel. Here we also learned of the villainous Cy Thomson, a controller who embezzled more than $1 million from the company in the early 20th Century. This set off a company-wide reorganization that was the foundation of the massive growth Hormel experienced over the coming decades.

The next gallery we saw was dedicated to the longstanding relationship that SPAM has enjoyed with the United States military, particularly during World War II. A gallery to the right wascalled the “World Market,’ that demonstrated the popularity of Spam across the world. In South Korea, SPAM is so popular, it turns out, that special gift packages of SPAM are often given as wedding presents. The annual SPAM Jam is one of the biggest parties in Hawaii every year. We got to see Japanese SPAM TV commercials, and a mock-up of a British pub, because SPAM has long been considered a delicacy in England.

Coming through the end of this exhibit, I found myself feeling a bit guilty for not appreciating something that had been right in front of me my entire life. SPAM isn’t exactly a savior food, but it has contributed to the fight against poverty and famine all over the world. Honestly, how on Earth can I have turned my nose up at something like that?

Another exhibit wass all about the inner-workings of SPAM. Specifically, the six ingredients contained in that blue can: pork shoulder, ham, salt, water, potato starch and sodium nitrite. That’s it. No mystery chemicals, no “filler,” no pink slime, no chitterlings (or chitlins for that matter). It’s just a couple different cuts of pork, a little seasoning and some preservatives. And all of it is cooked right inside the very can that you purchase.

Without trying to overstate my experi-

ence, SPAM was starting to feel like a minor miracle.

As Nancy and I made our way past the Kids CAN Play Zone and the case filled with musical instruments made from SPAM cans, we bumped into Savile Lord, the Manager of the SPAM Museum and Community Relations for Hormel. She is clearly very proud of the museum, but was quick to point out that as important as the exhibits and the new building are, it’s the volunteers, or SPAMbassadors, that really make the place work.

“I don’t know where we would be without them,” she said.

Making an attempt at real journalism by asking a hard-hitting question, I asked her about the connotation of the word “Spam” and how it has come to represent unwanted things, most notably emails.

“You know,” she said, “at first we tried to fight that. Hormel even looked into lawsuits.

But eventually, we realized that the word is just a part of the public lexicon, and it really doesn’t have anything to do with our product. It’s really from a Monty Python skit where people are talking over each other.”

Satisfied with my Pulitzer worthy questioning, Nancy and I invited Savile to join us for lunch, explaining the importance of the occasion. This would be my first intimate encounter with America’s favorite canned meat. She couldn’t resist, and soon, we were off to the B&J Bar and Grill.

Okay, look, let’s not make too much of this. I ordered a SPAMburger, and you know what? I liked it. I’ve always been a fan of ham, and this was just like ham, except maybe a little more substantial.

There are many lessons to be learned here. Don’t take anything for granted, especially those ubiquitous things that have been around you all your life. A well-curated museum about anything can be absolutely fascinating. Austin, MN is a very cool town.

It’s okay to not take yourself too seriously.

SPAM has an important place in the annals of 20th Century American history.

And last, but not least, even a Cake Eater from Edina can enjoy a good SPAM sandwich.

In fact, with a little mustard, SPAM is pretty damn good.

Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@southernminnscene.com.

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The new SPAM production line, 1937.

The Story of

SPAM

By Jill Mackey editor@southernminnscene.com

Jay C. Hormel.

“My mother was making $135 a week but she had resilience and imagination. She might take frozen vegetables, cook them with garlic, onion and Spam and it would taste like a four-star dinner.” --Andre Dubus III

SPAM.

I

t’s the food that made Southern Minnesota famous.

If you grew up in Southern Minnesota, or if you’ve lived here for a decent length of time, you’ve eaten it. If not you most certainly have wondered “just what the heck Soldier eating SPAM. is in that blue can?” You know it’s some sort of meat, but beHoly Grail) on Broadway in the early 2000’s (the title was adapted yond that your questions are many: from a line in the movie: “we eat ham, and jam, and Spam a lot”) What kind of meat?

It won the Best Musical Tony Award, 14 Tony Award nominations What parts of the animal? and grossed over $175 million dollars. To honor SPAM’s 75th What possible “other things” are Anniversary the SIR CAN-A-LOT® character was introduced as the in there? official spokes-character in 2012. The two and a half inch knight Is it good? is a messenger for the SPAM brand that is on a “crusade to rescue Do I dare?

WWII era SPAM Can. the world from routine meals.” He approaches his mission with There is so much talk about equal parts of dignity and shenanigans. He will appear by surprise preservatives and who knows what are many speculations, the actual meaning to suggest you make your meals more interesting by adding SPAM else in our food nowadays that it’s of the name is known to only a small circle of products or, as he exclaims, “Glorious SPAM!” You can be sure, understandable if you approach former executives. like the Python’s classic ode to Spam, the spokes-character will be SPAM with a bit of trepidation, but So the ingredients (listed on the can by reminding us all to have everything with spam. You might want to fear not. When you choose SPAM, law) are: pork shoulder, ham, salt and water, try the “spam, spam, bacon, spam, and eggs spam” that Monte Kenneth Daigneau the man who named you are making a safe and tasty decipotato starch as a binder, sugar, and sodium Python so enjoyed! You can see the charming SIR CAN-A-LOT in SPAM. sion. Let’s examine the facts. nitrate as a preservative. That’s it. SIX high several new commercials on YouTube that celebrate the 75th An It was the early thirties; The Great quality ingredients! When was the last time you read an ingredients niversary. Check them out at youtube.com/spambrand.

Depression. You might think SPAM® was developed because of the list that short? A natural gelatin forms during cooking in tins. They When you hear the word Spam your first thought in this day lack of food, but actually, it was just the opposite. Jay Hormel, then use pork shoulder. No lips, no tongues, no snouts. SPAM does conand age may be the piles of unsolicited emails that arrive in email president of Austin based Hormel Foods, was struggling with too tain almost double the amount of fat compared to protein content in-boxes around the globe every day. I’m sure that is certainly much meat at his plant. His solution was to grind pork shoulder but then, so does bacon. the first notion of the Millennials or younger (what an unforeseen with ham and cook it in a can. He held a contest to name this new During World War II, it was difficult to deliver fresh meat to the marketing accident.) Think about how many times the Spam name product, with the winner receiving $100 ( a lot of money in those Front. Enter SPAM. With a chuckle and grin it became known by is uttered every day… days). It was Hormel’s executive Ken Daigneau, also a New York the troops as “ham that didn’t pass the physical”. SPAM gained Hormel has also redesigned the Spam website (www.spam.

Radio actor, who thought of the famous label. He had been one of worldwide popularity after its use in WWII. By the War’s end, 150 com) that has Sir CAN-A-LOT serving ‘as the site’s guide to help Jay’s guests at a New Year’s Eve party at his home where Jay offered million pounds of SPAM was sold. fans break out of their boring routines.” The number of recipes you a free drink for every name idea. (Two things come to mind: 1. I’ll SPAM arrived in Britain in 1941 and became enormously popuwill find is staggering or as Hormel describes it “a list of recipes bet that was one wild party and 2. When was the last time you paid lar. So popular, in fact, that the Monte Python comedy troupe preto choke a pig.” SPAM Breakfast Muffinwich, SPAM Fried Nice, for a drink at a party at someone’s home?) miered Spamalot (based on their 1975 film Monte Python and the the SPAM Waldorf Salad, Favorite Meat Loaf, SPAM and Scalloped SPAM debuted in the United States July 5, 1937. Although there

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SPAM cira. 1960.

SPAM advertisement. for a moment.)

SPAM is sold in 43 countries on 6 continents and trademarked in over 100 countries. In fact, their Seven Billionth can was sold in 2007, and that was nine years ago. SPAM was introduced to Guam, Hawaii, Okinawa, Philippines and other Pacific Islands during WWI. During WWII it was introduced to the UK and Soviet Union. Margaret Thatcher called SPAM a “Wartime delicacy”. Nikita Khrushchev declared that “Without Spam we wouldn’t have been able to feed our Army.” In 1963 SPAM was first sold to Florida schools for lunches and art sculptures. Yes, Art Sculptures! Hormel has even gone one step further and sold “color-themed” Spam for art projects. The most popular color is ‘blue-green’ spam and is still used in some southern Florida private schools Hawaii has the highest per capita consumption in USA. A ‘Sushi’ dish called Spam Musubi, which is cooked Spam on formed rice wrapped with a band of nori, is a Hawaiian staple. There are some SPAM varieties that are available only in Hawaii: Honey Spam, Spam with Bacon, and Hot & Spicy Spam. Burger King in Hawaii added the Hawaii Burger to their menu to better compete with McDonald’s. SPAM is sometimes referred to as “the Hawaiian Steak” and Hawaiians consume seven million cans of it every year. The SPAM Jam is the Island’s largest and most rockin’ festival every year.

SPAM is also wildly popular in Guam, where it is served in McDonald’s.

The consumption is 16 tins annually per capita. Want to buy a nice gift?

In Southeast Asia SPAM is considered a luxury gift. In Puerto Rico the

Burns & Allen endorsement.

Sandwich de Mexcia is a staple served at parties. The recipe is a bit complicated though: SPAM, Velveeta and pimentos between slices of Wonder bread. SPAM still remains tremendously popular in the UK, where it is used in such delicacies as Spam Yorkshire Breakfast, Spamish Omelet, Spam Hash, and sliced, battered and fried for Spam Fritters.

Think you will get bored with SPAM? Not a chance!

Hormel has developed multiple varieties which include: Classic, Lite, Less Sodium, w/Real Hormel Bacon, OvenRoasted Turkey, Hickory Smoke, Hot & Spicy, Jalapeno, Teriyaki, Black Pepper, Chorizo, Portuguese Sausage seasoned, Tocino, Garlic, with Cheese, Mezclita, Dried Spam Bites Snacks Classic, Dried Spam Bites Snacks Bacon, Dried Spam Bites Snacks Teriyaki, Spam Single (3 oz.), Spam Single Lite, Classis 7 oz., and Spam Spread. Whew!

If you can’t get enough SPAM visit their online gift shop where you can go into SPAM overload! There you’ll find games, golf bags, costumes, jerseys, sweatpants, caps & hats , a “Canjo” (banjo made out of cans of SPAM), jackets, blankets, sandals, honey pots, rolling pins, towels, umbrellas, watches, spoon rests, duffle bags, aprons, stuffed animals, lunchboxes, cookbooks, dog shirts, golf balls, mugs, earrings, fishing lures, banks, Sir Spammy “Spamalot” Bobble heads, and yes, even more!

There are 36 pages of items!

Just when you thought “there can’t be any more” there’s more. This year Hormel is sponsoring a sixteen-stop National Tour across America. Like rock stars,

Turn

Entrance to the original SPAM museum.

The new SPAM museum.

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ally per capita. Want to buy a nice gift? In Southeast Asia SPAM is considered a luxury gift. In Puerto Rico the Sandwich de Mexcia is a staple served at parties.

The recipe is a bit complicated though: SPAM, Velveeta and pimentos between slices of Wonder bread. SPAM still remains tremendously popular in the UK, where it is used in such delicacies as Spam Yorkshire Breakfast, Spamish Omelet, Spam Hash, and sliced, battered and fried for Spam Fritters.

Think you will get bored with SPAM? Not a chance!

Hormel has developed multiple varieties which include: Classic, Lite, Less Sodium, w/Real Hormel Bacon, OvenRoasted Turkey, Hickory Smoke, Hot & Spicy, Jalapeno, Teriyaki, Black Pepper, Chorizo, Portuguese Sausage seasoned, Tocino, Garlic, with Cheese, Mezclita, Dried Spam Bites Snacks Classic, Dried Spam Bites Snacks Bacon, Dried Spam Bites Snacks Teriyaki, Spam Single (3 oz.), Spam Single Lite, Classis 7 oz., and Spam Spread.

Whew!

If you can’t get enough SPAM visit their online gift shop where you can go into SPAM overload!

There you’ll find games, golf bags, costumes, jerseys, sweatpants, caps & hats , a “Canjo” (banjo made out of cans of SPAM), jackets, blankets, sandals, honey pots, rolling pins, towels, umbrellas, watches, spoon rests, duffle bags, aprons, stuffed animals, lunchboxes, cookbooks, dog shirts, golf balls, mugs, earrings, Sir CanALot. fishing lures, banks, Sir Spammy “Spamalot” Bobble heads, and yes, even more!

There are 36 pages of items!

Just when you thought “there can’t be any more” there’s more. This year Hormel is sponsoring a sixteenstop National Tour across America. Like rock stars, SPAM experts and chefs will travel in a tricked-out, labeled, full-size tour bus on a journey called “The SPAMERICAN TOUR.” Also, honoring the long partnership they have had with our military, and to say “Thank You” to all that serve our country, you can write a note on Spam’s website and Operation Gratitude will print and mail it to troops overseas.

South Korean SPAM.

SPAM costume.

SPAM hat.

The SPAM mobile.

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A variety of SPAM.

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Some SPAM art.

After all of this you must think they are on a mission to acquire every one of your pennies. Wrong. As you can imagine Hormel Foods Corporation receives numerous proposals for donations to a variety of organizations and projects. They give back to their Community by donating to not-for-profit organizations that emphasize education and hunger in and around Hormel Foods plant communities.

Yes, this Southern Minnesota delicacy has woven its way into the American culture. SPAM is a part of our country’s everyday vernacular, and is easily the most popular canned meat product the world has ever seen. Next year, SPAM will celebrate 80 years of curiosity, innovation, and good-natured ribbing. It has served our country in times of war and peace and become an international Super-

food. Along with the Mayo Clinic, it is the most recognized Southern Minnesota name in the world.

We salute the little blue can with the gold lettering. May SPAM continue to feed the world and bring smiles to us all for decades to come!

Jill Mackey is a former Faribault residenat and a former foodie columnist for SouthernMinn Scene. If you’d like to welcome her back to our fold, email editor@southernminnscene. com

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By RICH LARSON editor@southernminnscene.com et’s be clear: I did not invent a single one of these recipes. The savvy Scene R&D department spent countless hours scouring the web looking for the best SPAM recipes to be found that are not on the SPAM Website.

(It should be noted that there are hundreds of recipes to be found at www.SPAM. com) This list merely reinforces the idea that SPAM is the most versatile food on the planet. It’s a wondermeat. Try these recipes. We think you’ll love ‘em.

SPAM Wellington Ingredients: 2 sheets frozen puff pastry, thawed 12 ounces Spam, cut in 12 slices and browned 9 ounces stouffer’s creamed spinach, thawed

16

Mushroom mixture

Dip each slice individually into the milk/egg wash. Next coat both sides of each slice in the flour mixture.

Carefully place into hot oil. It’s important to make sure your oil is hot and ready for frying.

You can check by tossing a sprinkle of the flour mixture into the oil. If it begins to bubble and actively fry, you’re ready. Placing Spam pieces in the oil before it’s hot can result in greasy Spam.

And that’s just no good.

Allow a few minutes (3-5) to brown before turning over to cook the other side. Place on a plate lined with a paper towel to absorb additional oil after frying.

Courtesy The Coers Family www.thecoersfamily.com

2 tablespoons butter 1 teaspoon garlic, minced 1 tablespoon onion, diced 2 cups mushrooms, in 1/4-inch slices 1⁄2 teaspoon marjoram, dried 2 tablespoons parmesan cheese, grated 1 pinch white pepper Egg wash 1 egg 1 tablespoon water Directions: Heat oven to 350°. Line baking sheet with parchment paper. In a medium skillet, melt butter, and saute garlic, onion, mushrooms, marjoram, and white pepper until translucent. Remove from heat, mix in parmesan cheese, and set aside.

In a separate small bowl, combine egg and water until well blended; set aside.

Cut each sheet of puff pastry into six squares (for a total of 12 squares). Place one piece of SPAM on one square of puff pastry; top with 2T spinach; add another piece of spam, top with 1/6th of mushroom mixture, and top with puff pastry. Paint edges of top piece of pastry with egg wash; seal to bottom pastry. Repeat with remaining ingredients five more times; brush entire top of each pastry with egg wash mixture.

Place on parchment lined baking sheet; and bake 25-30 minutes.

Courtesy Food.com

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Chicken Fried SPAM Ingredients: 1 (12 ounce) can of Spam 1 cup self-rising flour 2 eggs 1 cup of milk Salt and Pepper to taste (approximately 1 tablespoon of salt and 1/2 tablespoon of pepper) oil for frying Directions: Slice Spam into about 1/8 inch pieces. The thinner the slice, the crispier it will be – but slice too thin and it will fall apart during cooking.

In a bowl, whip together eggs and milk.

In a separate bowl, mix self-rising flour, salt and pepper.

Heat approximately 1 and 1/2 cups of cooking oil in a large pan.

SPAM Ramen Burger Ingredients: 1 brick of dried ramen noodles 1 egg 2 Tablespoons soy sauce 1 Tablespoon brown sugar 1 Tablespoon mirin

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1 slice of Spam, ¼” thick and cut lengthwise so that you have a square-shaped slice Cooking oil ¼ - ½ cup of finely chopped cabbage kimchi

Hot & Spicy Spam Coca, with Roasted Piquillo-Pineapple Escabèche

Directions: Cook the ramen noodles according to package instructions - in a small saucepan add the ramen brick and add enough water to just cover the noodles. Over high heat, bring the water to a boil and let the noodles cook for 1-2 minutes or until al dente. If the noodles are overcooked, they will become too mushy.

Drain the noodles in a strainer or sieve and rinse with cold water. Drain.

In a medium-sized bowl, lightly beat the egg. Add the cooled noodles and toss until the noodles are completely coated with the egg.

To form the ramen “buns”, get a couple of round forms. Ziploc storage jars work perfectly for this. They are close to 4-inches in diameter. Line the jars with 12 x 12 sheets of plastic wrap.

Add half the amount of noodles in each jar.

Fold over the ends of the plastic wrap to completely cover the noodles.

Nest one of the containers on top of the noodles. If you have a third container, nest that container on top and place a small weight inside that container. I used a small spice jar as a weight.

If the weight is too heavy, it’ll mush the noodles a little too much.

Refrigerate the noodles in its forms for at least 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, in a small bowl mix together the soy sauce, brown sugar, and mirin. Heat a small non-stick skillet over medium heat. Brown the Spam and flip. Add the soy sauce mixture and let cook. Spoon the sauce over the Spam as it’s cooking and make sure the Spam gets fully coated with the sauce. The sauce will caramelize as it cooks. Once it caramelizes, take the skillet off the heat and set aside.

Once the noodles are ready, heat a mediumsized (10-inch) non-stick skillet over medium heat. Add a tablespoon of cooking oil. Once the oil starts to shimmer, carefully slide the “bun” out of the container and onto your palm with the plastic wrap intact. Unwrap the noodles, carefully flip the “bun” so that the exposed side lands on your other palm. Carefully slide the “bun” into the pan. Repeat for the second “bun”.

Brown the first side for about 4-5 minutes. It needs to brown so that the egg cooks and the noodles start to bind together. Carefully flip the “bun” and brown the other side a little more than the first side.

Slide one “bun” onto a plate. Place the Spam slice on the “bun”, garnish with chopped kimchi, and top with the other “bun”.

Courtesy Amy Kim, kimchi MOM

4 cocas, par baked (recipe to follow) 4 oz. Piquillo Pepper-Pineapple escabeche (recipe to follow) 4 oz. Manchego béchamel (recipe to follow) 1/2 cup grated Manchego cheese 12 Hot & Spicy Spam slices, 1/8” 1/4 cup fresh basil, julienne For the Coca Dough: 1 lb. Store-bought raw pizza dough Turn dough onto a clean work surface dusted with flour and form 2 oz. balls. Place dough balls on a tray and let them rest and proof for 30 minutes. In the meantime, preheat oven to 300F. After dough has rested, roll into long oval shapes, 1/8” thick. Prick dough with a fork, and brush with a little olive oil. Place ovals on a baking sheet and cook in the oven for 3 minutes, to set shapes.

Remove and allow to cool at room temperature.

For the Manchego Cream: 1 cup Heavy Cream 1/2 cup Manchego cheese (3 month aged) 1/2 Tbsp. Salt In a small saucepan over medium heat, bring cream to a simmer. Whisk in the Manchego and salt until cheese is melted. Place in a heat proof container and chill.

For the Piquillo-Pineapple Escabèche: 8 Roasted Piquillo peppers, small dice 1 cup Diced Grilled Pineapple 1/4 cup Sun-Dried Tomatoes, small dice 1/4 cup Honey 1/4 cup White Wine Vinegar 1/4 Extra Virgin Olive Oil 3 Tbsp. Red Onion, Minced 2 Tbsp. Parsley, chopped 1 Tbsp. (optional) Fresh thyme, picked and chopped 1/2 Tbsp. Salt 1/2 tsp. Freshly ground black pepper Mix all ingredients and allow to marinate, chilled, for at least 1/2 hour before serving.

To Assemble Cocas: Preheat oven to 450F with a pizza stone on center rack. If you don’t have a pizza stone, wrap a cookie or baking sheet in aluminum foil and place, inverted, on center rack. Place 4 of the parbaked cocas on a clean, flat work surface. Spread 1 tbsp of Manchego béchamel on each. Top each coca with 3 slices of Hot & Spicy Spam. Spread the grated Manchego evenly on each coca. Using a spatula, carefully place cocas on baking surface and cook until cheese is melted and golden.

Remove from oven and cut each coca into four slices. Place a teaspoon of escabèche on each slice, and sprinkle with julienne basil. Serve immediately.

Recipe courtesy of Chef Michael Fiorello of Chicago’s Mercat a la Planxa and Time Magazine

SPAM cube with a skewer. We have experimented and find that one wrap with the bacon is enough.

Having open sides on the SPAM cube lets you get the flavor of the SPAM, the rub, and the bacon. Fully bacon wrapped SPAM cubes seem to be overwhelmingly bacon-ness.

minute or until rice is done.

Remove bay leaf, and sprinkle with parsley ( if using).

Courtesy Food.com

Directions: Pre-heat your smoker to 250 degress and add a handful of hickory chips.

Place the bacon wrapped SPAM bites into the smoker.

Smoke for 2 hours. The SPAM is a cooked meat so you really are just shooting for crispy bacon.

Pull them out and let them cool down.

Serve with a Sriracha Honey Mustard Kimchi and Spam Bokkeumbap Ingredients: 3 tbsps sunflower oil 1 small onion, finely diced 1 small carrot, finely diced 200g of your favourite Spam, diced 1 cup chopped kimchi plus whatever kimchi juices you can salvage cold, cooked rice for two (use Korean or Japanese rice…the slightly sticky short grain kind), about 700mL in volume 1 spring onion, finely sliced 1 tsp sesame oil salt to taste toasted sesame seeds 2 eggs gim – Korean toasted seaweed (optional) Directions: Prepare all your ingredients. Chop, dice, slice.

Heat a wok or large pot over medium heat and add the oil. Throw in the onion and carrot and saute under tender – about 5-10 minutes.

Add the Spam and continue frying for another 2 minutes. Add the kimchi and continue frying.

If you’re kimchi is quite fresh, fry for longer to deepen the flavours. If you’d like it a bit spicier, you can add a bit of gochujang at this stage. Pour in the kimchi juices. Break the rice up with your hands (get them wet to prevent it sticking too much) and then add it to the pan. Stir continuously, gently breaking up any lumps of rice. If needed, add a bit more oil… fried rice really does require more oil than you think! When it’s thoroughly combined and all hot, drizzle over the sesame oil, throw in the sliced spring onion and add salt to taste and continue frying and tossing for a couple more minutes to combine thoroughly. Take your fried rice, the bokkeumbap, off the heat.

Heat a frying pan, add a little oil and fry your eggs as you like them. Plate your bokkeumbap, sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds and top with an egg per serving and some gim. Serve.

Courtesy Su-Lin, TamarindandThyme.com

Ragin’ Cajun SPAM Party Salad 10 servings Measure Ingredient 8 ounces Wagon wheel shape pasta 1 can Marinated artichoke hearts (6 oz) 1 can SPAM Luncheon Meat, cubed (12 oz) 1⁄3 cup Olive oil 1⁄4 cup Creole seasoning mix 1 tablespoon Lemon juice 1 tablespoon Mayonnaise or salad dressing 1 tablespoon White wine vinegar 1 cup Diced bell pepper 1⁄2 cup Chopped red onion 1⁄2 cup Sliced ripe olives 3 tablespoons Finely chopped fresh basil leaves 1⁄2 teaspoon Dried oregano 1⁄2 teaspoon Dry mustard 1⁄2 teaspoon Sugar 1⁄2 teaspoon Dried thyme leaves 1 Garlic clove, chopped Cook pasta according to package directions.

Drain artichokes, reserving marinade; cut into quarters. In large bowl, combine all salad ingredients. In blender, combine reserved artichoke marinade with remaining dressing ingredients. Process until smooth. Add dressing to salad, tossing well.

Cover and chill several hours or overnight.

Courtesy Michael Orchekowski, Mary Louise Lever, astray.com

Broiled SPAM Appetizers Ingredients:

SPAM and Velveeta Quiche Ingredients: 6 large eggs 1⁄2 cup milk 1⁄2 teaspoon basil 1⁄4 teaspoon dry mustard 1⁄4 cup chopped onion 1⁄2 teaspoon garlic powder 1⁄2 teaspoon salt 1⁄2 teaspoon ground black pepper 6 ounces Spam, diced into small cubes 6 ounces Velveeta cheese, diced into small cubes cooking spray Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Spray deep dish pie plate with cooking spray,set aside.

Mix together first eight ingredients, in a large mixing bowl.

Pour egg mixture into prepared pie plate.

Add SPAM and Velveeta evenly into eggs.

Bake for 40 minutes until middle puffs up and center is firm.

Check for doneness by inserting knife near the middle of the quiche.

Let sit for 10 minutes.

Courtesy Food.com

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SPAM Jambalaya Ingredients:

Smoked Bacon Wrapped SPAM Bites Ingredients: A can of SPAM 1/4 Cup of Pork Rub 8 slices of bacon The Prep: Remove the SPAM from it’s can.

Cube the SPAM into 16 pieces.

Put the SPAM cubes into a Zip-Loc bag with the 1/4 cup of rub. Shake the bag till you have a nice even coat on all of the cubes.

Cut the 8 slices of bacon in half.

Wrap the rub coated SPAM cubes with a half slice of bacon each. Hold the bacon onto the

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F o ll o w u s

1 (12 ounce) canspam lite luncheon meat, cubed (I used regular ) 1 cup chopped onion 2⁄3 cup chopped green bell pepper 1⁄2 cup chopped celery 1 (14 1/2 ounce) can diced tomatoes (use liquid from tomatoes) 1 (10 3/4 ounce) low sodium chicken broth (I used regular) 1⁄2 teaspoon dried thyme 1 1⁄2-2 teaspoons hot sauce (recipe read 6 to 8 drops) 1 bay leaf 1 cup long grain rice 2 tablespoons chopped parsley (I left it off) Directions: In a large non-stick skillet over medium heat,saute’ spam,onion,green pepper,celery,and garlic until all vegetables are tender.

Except for rice and parsley( if using ), add remaining ingredients.

Bring to a boil and add rice.

Cover, and reduce heat and simmer for 20

1 (7 ounce) can Spam, classic finely cubed 1⁄3 cup shredded cheddar cheese 1⁄4 cup finely chopped celery 1⁄4 cup mayonnaise or 1⁄4 cup salad dressing 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley 1⁄8 teaspoon hot pepper sauce toast, triangles or miniature party rye rounds or cracker Directions: In medium bowl, combine all ingredients except toast. Spread mixture on toast triangles.

Place on baking sheet. Broil 1 to 2 minutes or until cheese is melted.

Makes about 32

SPAM Buns Ingredients: 3-1⁄2 cups flour

Turn

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1⁄2 tsp salt 3 tbsp sugar 2 tsp dried yeast 1 cup milk 80 gram butter 1 egg 1 can of Spam – cut into 16-18 pieces 1 egg – beaten for egg Heat up the milk to about 100 degree F. Add in 1 tbsp sugar and dried yeast. Mix well and set it aside for 10 minutes.

In the meantime combined the flour, the balance sugar and ½ tsp salt in the mixing bowl of the stand mixer. Mix well.

Once the yeast mixture become foamy, add 1 egg to the flour follows by the yeast mixture. Turn on the mixer with the dough hook attachment and mix and knead the bread until combined. Add in the butter. Continue to knead for 7-8 minutes till it forms into a smooth ball.

Remove from dough from the bowl, give a few knead by hand on a floured work surface. Place the dough in a greased bowl, cover and let it rise in a warm place until double in size. It takes over an hour.

Remove the dough onto the flour work surface, punch out the air, and divide the dough into 16-18 equal portions. Roll it into a ball.Take each ball and roll it into oval shape. Place a piece or two cut spam into the middle and fold the dough over Place it on a baking sheet that lines with parchment paper. Do the same to the rest. Cover the buns and let it rise for another 45-50 minute.

Brush the top of the buns with egg wash, bake in a pre-heated 375 degree F oven for 15-17 minutes or until golden brown.

Serve warm or at room temperature.

Note: For the dough, if it is too soft you can add in 1 – 2 tbsp of extra flour to it but if it is too dry add in a bit more milk Courtesy MyKitchenSnippets.com

Directions: In a large skillet or fryer; warm oil. In a small bowl; place water; set aside. In a mixing bowl; combine all ingredients well. Spoon heaping tablespoonful of mixture into wrapper. Fold in half or in triangles; seal edges with water as desired.

Crimped edges make a nice presentation. Deep fry until golden. Drain on paper towel. Optional to boil in boiling water or soup.Gau Gee/Won Ton will float when cooked through. Freezes well.

How to serve: Serve with shoyu-mustard sauce or favorite dipping sauce. Makes approximately 40-50.

Ingredients: 2 T butter Small bunch scallions (about 5-6), finely chopped, plus extra for serving salt and pepper 6 oz (half can) spam 1/2 T sugar 1/2 T sesame oil generous pinch crushed chile flake hot cooked pasta of your choice (about 1/3 pound precooked weight) 1/4 cup reserved pasta cooking water furikake, for serving

SPAM Fritters Ingredients: 1 tin of Spam (12 ounces) For the batter: 1 cup plain flour pinch of salt 4 fluid ounces of milk, milk&waterm, water, or beer (1/2 cup) cooking oil for either shallow frying or deep frying To serve: mashed potatoes mushy peas, or regular peas

SPAM Puffs Ingredients: 1 (12 ounce) can fully cooked luncheon meat (such as SPAM®), grated 1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese 1 cup all-purpose biscuit baking mix 1 teaspoon water 1/4 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper (optional)

Spicy Carmelized SPAM & Scallion Pasta

Directions: Sift the flour into a bowl. Whisk in the salt and liquid. You will want to have a thick batter in order to coat the spam properly.

Carefully remove the Spam from the tin in one piece. (I take a sharp knife and carefully slide it into the tin between the meat and the tin all around and then holding the tin upside down, gently shake and the meat slides out.) Cut the Spam into 8 slices.

Heat 2 to 3 TBS of oil in a frying pan, or heat a depth of oil in a deep fryer to 170*C/350*F, or until a cube of bread turns golden brown in 1 minute.

Coat the Spam slices with the batter and then carefully drop them into the hot oil. If shallow frying, allow two to three minutes per side. If deep frying, allow a total cooking time of three to four minutes, turning the fritters over as needed. Drain well on paper towels.

Serve hot with buttery mashed potatoes and peas.

Courtesy theenglishkitchen.com

Directions: Cook pasta until al dente according to package instructions; drain and set aside, reserving ¼ cup cooking water. (I like bow ties for this, but orecchiette would be awesome, too.)

Heat butter in a medium saucepan or Dutch oven over med-high flame until just frothy. Add chopped scallions, season with salt and pepper, and sauté until bright green, 2-3 mins.

Meanwhile mash spam with a potato masher until crumbly (about the texture of ground pork).

Add spam, sugar, sesame oil and chile flakes to pan and cook until spam is browned and crisp in places and scallions are deeply golden and caramelized.

Add pasta along with a splash of the reserved cooking water (start with a tablespoon or two -- we’re just looking to help things cling together) and cook another minute to allow everything to meld and heat through.

Serve pasta (either piping hot or at room temp) topped with more chopped scallions and plenty of furikake. Enjoy!

Notes: This pasta dish comes together super fast, is ridiculously flavorful (and, ok, a little indulgent) -- and is guaranteed to make even the wariest of eaters a big ol’ fan of spam. It’s great served piping hot, but I’ve eaten leftovers enough times to note that it’s great at room temp -- or even cold, straight from the fridge -- too, which makes it kinda perfect for picnics of potlucks.

Courtesy Emily Stoffel, thepigandquill.com

Directions: Preheat an oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

Mix together the meat, Cheddar cheese, baking mix, water, and cayenne in a large bowl.

Form the mix into 1-inch balls and place on a greased baking sheet.

Bake in preheated oven until golden brown, about 12 to 14 minutes. Serve warm.

Ingredients: 1 can Spam (regular) 2lb ground beef 1 16oz can pizza sauce 1 tbsp sage 1 tbsp oregano mozzarella cheese (sliced) English muffins

Ingredients: oil for frying 1 can (12 oz.) Spam, grated 1 can (6 oz.) water packed tuna, drained 1 can (8 oz.) water chestnuts, coarsely chopped 2 stalks green onion, chopped won ton pi wrappers 1/2 c. water as needed

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SPAMcakes Ingredients: 1 1⁄2 cups pancake mix 1 cup milk 1 large egg 1 tablespoon vegetable oil 1 (7 ounce) can Spam, finely chopped Directions: Lightly grease and heat griddle.

In bowl, combine pancake mix, milk, egg and oil.

Stir in SPAM. Using 1/3 cup for each pancake, pour batter onto hot griddle.

Cook until golden brown on bottom; turn and brown other side.

Keep hot until ready to serve cakes with syrup or honey.

Hawaiian SPAM and Pineapple Upside Down Cake

Grandma’s Pizza Burgers

Spam Tuna Crispy Gau Gee

Prepare the topping: Cut SPAM into fourteen squares, approximately 1/2-inch by 1/4-inch.

Cook SPAM in a small skillet over medium heat until golden brown on both sides, about 3-5 minutes. Transfer SPAM to a paper towel to cool and drain.

In a small bowl, stir together melted butter, brown sugar and salt. Pour into prepared pan and press into an even layer. Arrange pineapple rings on top of the sugar, placing 6 rings around the edge of the pan and 1 ring in the center. Place one square of the pan-fried SPAM into the center of each pineapple ring, and use the remaining squares to fill in any gaps in the pineapples. Set aside.

Prepare the cake: In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt.

In a large bowl, or the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, beat eggs until frothy. Add sugar and beat at high speed until mixture has tripled in volume. At low speed, whisk in flour mixture until completely combined.

In a small saucepan, combine butter and pineapple juice. Cook over medium heat just until butter has melted. Remove from heat and whisk in vanilla extract. With the mixer on low speed, stream butter mixture in to the rest of the cake batter. When batter has come together completely, pour into prepared pan on top of the pineapple layer.

Bake for 45-50 minutes, or until the cake springs back when lightly pressed and a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean.

Allow cake to cool in the pan for 20 minutes, then run a knife around the edge of the pan and invert onto a large serving dish or cake plate.

Serve slightly warm or at room temperature.

Serves 8-10

2 oz SPAM 2 tbsp butter, melted and cooled 1 cup brown sugar 1/4 tsp salt 8 large pineapple rings Cake:

Directions: Preheat oven to 400 degrees Brown the beef and drain Dice Spam Mix together beef, Spam, pizza sauce, sage, and oregano Spoon mixture onto open-faced English muffin Top with a slice of mozzarella cheese Place in oven for 10 minutes, until cheese is melted.

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Ingredients: Topping:

F o ll o w u s

1 cup all purpose flour 1 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt 2 large eggs, room temperature 1 cup sugar 1/4 cup butter, room temperature 1/2 cup pineapple juice 1 tsp vanilla extract Directions: Preheat oven to 350F. Lightly grease a 9-inch round cake pan and line the bottom with parchment paper.

SPAM & Potato Casserole Ingredients: 2 tablespoons butter 1 can Spam, diced 6­8 potatoes, peeled and sliced 1 can evaporated milk Cheddar cheese Directions: Melt butter in large pan.

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Add sliced potatoes, Spam, 1 can evaporated, milk and 1 can water and grated cheddar cheese.

Bring to boil and cook 10 to 15 minutes.

Cover and bake in 350°F oven for 1 hour.

Courtesy cooks.com

New Mexican SPAM Soup Ingredients: 1 can (12 ounce size) Spam Lite, chopped fine 1/2 cup chopped onion 1/2 cup chopped celery 2 cloves garlic, chopped fine 2 cans chicken broth 1 can (32 ounce size) refried beans 2 chopped green chiles 1/2 teaspoon chili powder

Topping: shredded cheddar cheese crushed tortilla chips 1/2 cup chopped almonds, toasted Directions: In a pan, saute Spam, onion, celery and garlic together for 5 to 7 minutes. Add chicken broth.

Pour in refried beans, chiles and chili powder.

Simmer for about 10 minutes. Top with cheese, chips.

Courtesy cdkitchen.com Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@southernminnscene.com.

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Woldum TV,

Woldum

TV

or

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Television

RACHEL WOLDUM Rachel Woldum is a former television snob who has embraced the medium as it has entered its Golden Age. Contact her at editor@ southernminnscene.com

Hello all!

Rachel here. Since I’m new, I thought a little introduction was in order. I would say I’m the new Amy, but that implies that Amy Merritt’s shoes can be filled, which they most certainly cannot. So instead I’ll say that I’m humbly prepared to *attempt* to continue her legacy of wit, sarcasm, and breadth of TV knowledge, not to mention her sheer passion for television.

Confession time: I feel like sort of a fraud taking over this column, because my two self-proclaimed “true loves” have always been books and movies. I grew up without cable, and have never even owned a TV. And I spent a decent part of my teenage and adult years thinking that TV was the less smart, trashier cousin of the movie.

But I’m grateful to report that my mind has gradually been changed, and that I’m no longer an uppity, anti-TV snob. Here are some of the reasons for this change of heart:

do it at your own pace. I could sneak in a few pages on my lunch break, or methodically plod along, a chapter a day, or get so caught up that I read the damn thing in a single sitting. While it’s certainly possible to watch movies in short sections, they’re at least intended to be consumed all at once. Not so with TV shows. I’ve realized I like their episodic structure, that I can vary my intake, be that a single episode or sixteen in a row if it happens to be that kind of day. I have yet to find a better coping mechanism than a hearty TV binge-sesh.

4

Another contributor to my growing love for TV is the sense of community it creates. Not to get too existential here, but sometimes I think one of the greatest human longings is to know and be known. And TV, as silly as it might sound, makes me feel known. After the fifth

1

First and perhaps foremost, the internet!

The internet has made TV so accessible, allowing TV-less people like myself to watch everything soon after, if not simultaneously to, its air time. Not to mention you can find archives of old TV shows on sites like Netflix and Amazon Prime, creating new generations of fans for gone-too-soon shows like Veronica Mars.

Between these two sites, and others like Hulu and HBOGo, there’s hardly a show you can’t find. (Yes, some of these sites have subscription fees, but that’s what ex-boyfriends who don’t change their passwords are for).

bitchiness, and argue over predictions of what’s next.

5

Okay, bear with me on this one: I’m going to suggest that TV, in spite of all its ridiculousness, can feel more realistic than novels or movies. These two forms, ostensibly as stand-alone pieces of art, necessitate a structure that can fit neatly into a two-hour chunk or around 300 pages.

Their arcs are the arcs of singular stories or circumstances, not of years or lifetimes. TV has no such boundaries. While good TV shows have mini arcs per episode, and larger arcs per season, they can get away with being a little messier.

For example, when I think of my own romantic escapades, they’re not at all like those of the heroine of a romcom who’s swept off her feet by a charming stranger and quite neatly marries him after clearing up a pesky misunderstanding. They’re lot more like the web of crushes, betrayals, infidelities, and partner swapping of Gossip Girl. Let’s be honest: in real life, you’re not still dating the same person in Season 4 that you were in Season 1. People change, tastes change, life get more exciting and less exciting, characters come and go, we get a bad haircut for a season, we gain a few pounds, we make bad decisions and sometimes we make better ones. The structure of TV shows reflects this messiness and imperfection of real life, and as someone with a life both messy and imperfect, this is hella comforting.

6

Okay, finally: the last reason for my conversion from snob to TV-lover is simply that there are simple some really, REALLY good shows out there now. I put off watching the last episode of Breaking Bad for three months just because I couldn’t bear the thought of it ending. I was so invested that I’d fall asleep praying for Jesse Pinkman: “Dear lord I don’t care if you spare anyone else but please just let Jesse live. Deep down he’s a really good guy and he doesn’t deserve to die.” And when I finally finished, I called my mom and said, “It reached a Shakespearean level of understanding the human condition,” and I stand by

2

An addendum to number one: because of the internet, TV-watching has become a more portable hobby. Gone are the days of fighting with roommates or family members for control of the remote; instead, I can take my laptop anywhere with a wireless connection and watch to my heart’s content. In this way, TV-watching has become more like book-reading. I can curl up with a show in bed, watch it at the coffee shop with my morning dose of caffeine, or even duck into the dark corner of a bar and ignore my fellow humans while I catch up on the latest episode of The Bachelorette. This portability not only means we can watch more TV more often, but it also, I think, personalizes the experience. Returning home after a long shift at work, opening my laptop, and having an episode of Broad City pop up, Ilana paused mid-vape just where I left her, feels every bit as comforting as returning home to a book left dog-eared on my pillow. TV is no longer something we do at a certain time in a certain room. Rather, it’s something that can come anywhere with us, be that the bed, the dinner table, the bar, or even the toilet.

3

Also thanks to the internet, TV shows have become binge-able. I don’t remember who said “Too much of a good thing is wonderful!,” but that sums up my sentiments about most things, from TV to pizza to dresses.

One thing I always liked about reading was that you could

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episode of the most recent season of Game of Thrones aired, my Facebook and Twitter feeds were filled with cryptic references to a pivotal scene. They couldn’t say much because, heaven forbid, SPOILERS, but I knew what they meant. And I guarantee there were thousands, if not millions, of others who knew too.

When Charles Dickens started writing, his novels were released as serials, and people would show up in droves at the docks to wait for copies of the newest installment. His writing brought people together, because it gave them something to wait for, and then devour, as one. In 1836, they waited each week to see which predicament Alfred Jingle would get the boys into next; now, in 2016, we wait to see if Khaleesi will ever make it to freakin’ Westeros, or if Ramsay Bolton will get what’s coming to him (ideally, it will involve someone pooping very slowly on his face.) I can’t think of anything other than sports that Americans get more worked up about right now. We’re outraged together over character deaths, complain together about their evilness or

F o ll o w u s

that hyperbolic statement. There’s art out there, people and some of it’s on TV! Give it a chance!

Okay, hopefully I’ve convinced you that I am worthy of taking over this column, and that my love for TV, be it new, is sincere. I’ll catch you next month!

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kate’s cut

kate pEhrson Kate Pehrson is a celebrated Twin Cities musician, writer, humorist, mother, wife, fire prevention partner and film aficionado. Contact her at editor@southernminnscene.com

your local movie house

A

s you read this, you are probably in Bloomington, with its copper drinking founattacking the summer activities now tains and mid-century style concession stand. My available to you with the reckless mom took me there late one night to see a special abandon of a nerd let loose on an screening of “Camelot”. I must have been 12. all access pass to ComicCon. But the There I was, warm and sleepy, watching a 20-yearday will come later this season when old King Arthur-based movie musical that I didn’t it’s hot, muggy, and gross, and you particularly care about, but for some reason, I’ve will just want to relax with a movie never forgotten it. I can still remember the lyrics: in your favorite chair in the comfort of your air-conditioned abode.

Favorite snack, favorite beverage, comfy clothes, contacts out, bra off…um, anyway, you’re comfortable. In front of your awesome flatscreen, with your awesome TV package, and your own collection of awesome DVDs, the night and the remote control are yours! Yeah, I hear you. But why not go out to see a movie?

Why not, Kate? Really?

Go to the theater with the Southtown in Bloomington. overpriced concessions, the sticky floors, the questionably lice-free seating, the creaky chairs, and the OTHER PEOPLE? Go out and have a COUPLE movies to choose from, when we could stay at home with friends we LIKE, make popcorn in the Stir Crazy, drink a fancy beverage and have HUNDREDS to choose from?

Yes. My Dad grew up in Jackson, Minnesota, where the State Theater is a 500-seat, Art-deco-style movie house with a single “silver screen”. Dad was about 11 when WWII ended. He’d been waiting for a while to get a bike, since the metal and rubber weren’t available to make bikes for kids during the war. When his birthday came around the next summer, that brand new bike in the hardware store window showed up at his door, and off he went downtown with a couple nickels in his pocket to catch the Saturday afternoon matinees. He The Cooper in St. Louis Park. didn’t know what he was going to see, but he was going with friends and they were all going to see it together. 40 years later when I was a kid, going “A law was made a distant moon ago here…”

There were also plenty of trips to the Cooper to the movies still felt fun and special, (and not just in St. Louis Park, where films were shown in the because it meant a WHOLE box of Junior Mints just for me).

3-projector CINERAMA style in a big round audito My preferred local theater was the Southtown rium, sort of like an old-school Vegas showroom.

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My husband saw 26½ showings of Star Wars there, and I went on an awkward date with a guy from work to see “When Harry Met Sally”, one of the last films they showed before the Cooper closed for good.

Up near Brainerd, where our family usually spent a chunk of the summer, the drive-in on 371 north of Baxter still stands on the west side of the road, about five miles north of where Paul Bunyan used to greet us. The screen now stands watch over a field slowly returning to boreal forest, but back in the day, you’d pay your fee, find a parking spot, roll down the windows, tune your radio to the AM station, and put your feet up on the dash and swat the mosquitos while you watched a movie. My mom just recently told me that it was that very drive-in where she and Dad took their young family to go see “Deliverance”, having heard from friends that it was “really good”. (I’ll just leave that there.)

When I was about 17, I went on a spring break road trip with my high school bestie, Alicia. There was not a whole lot going on in the tiny hamlet of Wisconsin where we visited her grandparents, but there was a movie theater. I remember being completely unexcited about seeing what was showing - the Gene Hackman basketball drama “Hoosiers,” - but I went. To this day I remember the scene where the coach is talking to the star player who makes long shot after long shot out on the court amongst the cornfields…until he misses.

In 2002, I saw an ad for “Matrix: Revolutions” in IMAX, and thought “Whoa.” (You may giggle. That was a Keanu Reeves joke.)

I remembered IMAX from a school field trip when we watched a documentary about life under the sea or something, but now Hollywood was taking a shot at the technology. I went with my favorite movie-buddy, Julie, and as we sat there watching the insect-like robot Sentinels attack the humans on the giant

screen, the state-of-the-art sound system transmitting the terrifying metallic skittering sounds into our brains, she gripped my leg whispering “I know they’re not real, I know they’re not real!”

After my kids were born, I discovered the Riverview Theater in Minneapolis, a hip mid-century movie theater where you can buy popcorn for a dollar and a ticket for 2 dollars. It was there that my kids fell in love with Studio Ghibli watching “Ponyo” and out of love with Pixar when they imperiled Woody and Buzz in “Toy Story 3”.

This past spring, I got tickets to go to the Uptown Theater, to see a showing of the movies nominated for the Oscar short film categories. The Uptown Theater itself is the site of so many meaningful Minneapolis movie stories – the infamous midnight showings of “Rocky Horror Picture Show” just one example. My husband and I spent about 3 hours watching some 10 films that night – some delightful and charming, and some riveting to the point of immobility. I remember during one particularly harrowing film, the whole audience got as tense and quiet as the young hostage in the film.

When it was over, the older woman seated next to me and I both uttered expletives at the same time, in a sort of deific-invoking exhale of tension. She was a stranger, but at that moment, we shared our human experience.

So, that’s a lot of memories and a whole lot of different stuff. What are you trying to say, Kate?

Ask me and I’ll tell you I’m an introvert who loves nothing better than putting on my husband’s t-shirt, some leggings and sitting my butt in front of my own flat-screen on a Friday night at the end of the week. BUT there’s something magic about putting on a pair of spangly earrings and heading out for a movie, not quite knowing what to expect, what kind of crowd will be there, what kind of reaction I’ll have, and what the movie will mean.

Will we all laugh together? Will we cry? Will we be moved? Will we be human together? A lot of the old movie theaters are gone, but as any parishioner will tell you – it’s not the building, it’s the people that make the church.

So the next time you’re tempted to flop and flip through, I challenge you to open up Google and type in “movies”. Close your eyes and point.

Go see that movie with some of the other human characters that make up the wacky, weird and wonderful citizenry our republic. Laugh together, cry together, be moved. Be human. Make a memory.

I dare you.

A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

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Acres

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Visit our Amazing Restaurant with Specials Daily & Nightly THURSDAY’S ALL YOU CAN EAT BBQ RIBS Friday’s ALL YOU CAN EAT FISH SATURDAY’S PRIME RIB

Great Fishing Comfortable Cabins - Satellite TV - A/C Playground Basketball / Shuffleboard / Horseshoes

Pontoon rentals available!

Open 7 days a week for lunch and dinner

BREAKFAST ON SUNDAYS

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Served from 9 am to noon Sundays through Labor Day

(507) 334-6661 www.winjumsshadyacres.com A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

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By GRACE WEBB grace.webb2013@gmail.com

W

hen Kasota businessman Tony Borglum announced his plans to open a business offering customers the chance to drive real tanks, people told him he was crazy.

“Everyone was of the thought process, ‘That’s a stupid idea and nobody’s ever going to want to do it, so knock yourself out,’” he said.

But since opening his doors in 2010, Borlgum has hosted

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thousands of customers from around the world, as well as being featured in everything from Forbes to Larry the Cable Guy’s show “Only in America.”

“There’s definitely demand for it,” he said. “Basically, what we’ve learned is, if you do something that’s super bad-ass, that everybody else says is impossible, if you can pull it off, people will travel the world to see you.”

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Growing up in Waseca, Borglum was always drawn to motors and machines. Participating in motor sports and truck pulls, he also enjoyed building his own vehicles: first a garden tractor, then a truck, then a street rod.

As he grew older, his interest turned to Army trucks, and he bought one as soon as he could find one. But his search for a good Army truck also opened his eyes to another intriguing possibility: the Ferret armored car, a British fighting vehicle built for reconnaissance missions. The price was steep—about $25,000— but Borglum wouldn’t be deterred; instead, he figured out a way to travel to England and buy a Ferret there, where the price would be so much cheaper that it would make up for the airfare overseas.

So, in 2006, he and his father packed their bags and headed to England, where they began searching the entire country for the best deal.

“They thought we were nuts,” Borglum said. “Here, we think nothing of driving to Minneapolis twice in a week. This was unheard of to the Brits. Pretty soon, everyone in England, in the military world, had heard about these two crazy Americans who were driving all over the country looking for Ferrets.”

Along the way, they stumbled across a place that offered customers the chance to drive an FV 433 Abbot tank, and their plans shifted again. When they came home, they weren’t just the proud new owners of a Ferret; they also owned three FV 432s.

Borglum originally planned to open a business offering rides in Waseca, but there were difficulties obtaining all the right paperwork, so he moved to Kasota instead. He opened in 2010, and business has been growing ever since. Last year, more than 1,650 people visited. Borglum and one other full-time employee handle all those customers, though they do sometimes have part-time help.

Borglum has a fleet of nearly a dozen vehicles. Many of them

A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

Tony Borglum on a tank.

come from Great Britain, since the country has been surplusing its tanks for decades (though it recently ended the practice). In addition to his Abbots, he has a British Cheiftain Mark 11, one of only five surplus models in the world (and the star of the 2002 Reign of Fire movie), and a Russian T55.

The star of his fleet is the Sherman E8, which was used in World War II. According to him, the Abbot is one of the easiest vehicles in his arsenal to drive, while the FV 432 is the most confusing and the T55 is the most work, since it has manual transmission and brakes. No matter what guests drive, though, it tends to be a lot more work than they imagined.

“I can’t tell you how many people walk through my door and say, ‘I want to drive a tank and blow stuff up,’” he said. “But I tell them, ‘You’re not supposed to drive your car and text message. What makes you think you can take an $8 million vehicle and drive it 45 mph, aim a 120-mm cannon to your side and still not run into things?’”

Borglum offers several packages for customers. The “3 Star Lt. General” package is the cheapest at $449 and lets guests drive the FV433 Abbot SPG, which is technically not a tank but an armored vehicle. The most expensive package, “The Sherman Driver,” costs $3,699 and adds the FV 432 APC and Sherman E8 for guests. If you want even more thrills, you can add the opportunity to crush a car or even a mobile home.

The packages might sound pricey, but it’s also pricey to run the tanks.

According to Borglum, most of his tanks can only run about four hours at a time. The Chieftain costs $1,000 an hour to operate, and Abbots burn four gallons of fuel per mile. It’s also difficult and expensive to find replacement parts, since he usually has to go through collectors who don’t want to part with their treasures.

Borglum said his business is especially popular with bachelor parties and corporate outings.

“There’s no more extreme team building experience than military equipment, and tanks are one of the top ones,” he explained. “Just being together in an unfamiliar place is teambuilding. I don’t care who you are; you can work with someone for 10 years and then, all of a sudden, when you’re in a desperate situation with them, you get to know each other very well very quickly.”

Customers also have the chance to shoot a variety of guns as part of their packages, including submachine guns, assault rifles, machine guns and anti-material rifles—including the WWII Browning M1919 machine gun.

“It’s something different that puts people somewhere where they’ve never been,” he said. “They think it’s going to be wild and crazy, but it’s safe. Just follow the directions and keep the gun pointed where it’s supposed to be.”

In fact, Borglum said following directions is the key in every part of the experience.

“The shooting’s easy, and the driving’s easy,” he explained. “The most dangerous driver I ever had was someone who wasn’t paying attention.

He said, ‘I can’t learn anything from a dumb kid like you. I’ve been driving tractors longer than you’ve been alive!’ We got him in the vehicle, and it revved off, and it went in a straight line and hit the first tree. People come with this expectation, ‘I don’t know if I can drive a tank.’ Just shut up and listen, and you’ll be fine.”

Grace Webb is a freelance writer in Southern Minnesota. She can be contacted at grace.webb2013@ gmail.com

A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

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THE Peter Frampton July 12 Vetter Stone Amphitheater Riverfront Park, Mankato You can still see it, can’t you? It probably doesn’t take much to conjure up the image. There he is, in the velveteen jump suit, his manly, hairy chest exposed. He stands alone, with his eyes bright as spotlights, his permed hair gently cascading to his shoulders, and the slightly phallic neck of his guitar, pointing almost straight up, ready to go.

Frampton Comes Alive wasn’t a hit album, it was a cultural movement. It made Peter Frampton, at that point a ten year veteran of the music industry, an overnight sensation. We all know that there is no better engine for fueling album sales in rock & roll than screaming, teenage girls. The face on that cover, singing songs like “Baby I Love Your Way,’ and “Do You Feel Like We Do” was more than any 17 year old girl could face in 1976. They put Frampton Comes Alive in Billboard’s Top 200 for two years, with an astonishing ten weeks at #1. They made Frampton a superstar.

In many ways, though, the face was his undoing as well. By ditching his legitimate (and considerable) chops as a musician and giving himself over to the incredible Hollywood marketing machine, Frampton sold out his talent for fame. He allowed his face to be plastered in teen magazines, billboards and record stores from San Diego to Glasgow. Perhaps his biggest mistake was starring alongside the Bee Gees in the horrific Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, a campy 1978 film filled with discofied performances of classic Beatles songs (along with an utterly creepy performance of “Come Together” by Aerosmith that had people running from the theaters screaming).

Shortly after the release of Sgt. Pepper, Frampton almost died in a car accident.

He went silent for a couple years during his recovery, allowing the general public to remember him as a Teen Beat cover boy. His career never really recovered.

Frampton has spent the better part of 40 years trying to reclaim his dignity, which frankly should never have been this difficult. This is one of the founders of British Blues Rock band Humble Pie, who for a couple years in the late 60’s and early 70’s lived in rarefied air as equals and peers of bands like Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath.

He’s shared the stage with everyone from Jimi Hendrix to David Bowie. He’s always been a triple threat as a vocalist, a songwriter and a musician, but he’s been terribly underrated as a guitar player. His versatility, his phrasing and his dexterity are all elite skills. Filmmaker Cameron Crowe tapped him to be a technical advisor on his classic film Almost Famous, because as star Billy Crudup put it, “Who could ask for a better tutor than Peter Frampton?”

This guy is living history and on July 12 he’ll be playing at the best outdoor music venue in Southern Minnesota, the Vetter Stone Amphitheater in Mankato. Do whatever it is you need to do to see this show..

– – Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@ southernminnscene.com.

WEEK of JUNE 17-25: Meditation In The Garden Courtyard: 17-Jun, 9:30 AM, Assisi Heights, 1001

14th Street NW, Rochester, Free. Spend up to three Friday mornings exploring the beauty and treasure of nature in ‘your inner garden’ through the senses of the outer garden at Assisi Heights. Engage in mindful

meditations to absorb the garden through its sounds, sights, textures, and smells.

Breathing exercises help clear the mind of its chatter and bring progressive relaxation, as you restore emotional balance , cultivate

inner peace and deepen your connection to the beauty of nature. Weather permitting, class will be outside. Wear walking shoes.

Registration Required.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 17-Jun, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 . After You is the first exhibition in Rochester Art Center’s 2016 3rd Floor Emerging Artist Series, featuring new sculpture and installation-based work by Emmett Ramstad, a Minneapolis-based artist.

The sculptures in the exhibition originate from familiar bathroom features such as towel dispensers, soap dishes, bathroom stalls, and restroom insignia. Together they form extra-ordinary pieces that distort the scale and function of bathroom surroundings and ask the viewer to reconsider their public grooming associations, as well as constructions of cleanliness. 507-384-3291 Jamie Solberg & Tracie Thompson: 17-Jun, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Wine and light appetizers.

Come as you are! Public Reception to meet the artists: Saturday, May 21, 6:30-7:45p.

Exhibit running from April 9 - June 18.

Hours: MTWF: 10a-5p Thursday: 10a-8p Friday: 10a-4p.

Story Time: 17-Jun, 10:30 AM, Historic R.D. Hubbard House, 606 S. Broad St., Mankato, Free. Join Mary Esther Hubbard for a special Story Time on the Lawn of the Historic R. D. Hubbard House. Story Time includes a story and crafts. Story Time is free and open to the public.

Summer @ The Civic Free Friday Concerts!: 17-Jun, 5:00 PM, Rochester Civic Theatre, 20 Civic Center Dr SE, Rochester, Free. The Rochester Civic Theatre is delighted to announce the return of its Summer @ The Civic Patio Concert Series.

On select Friday nights in June and July, enjoy free live music and fresh food available for purchase. Bands will play from 5:00 to 7:00 pm, and again from 9:00 to 10:00 pm.

Food will be available from 5:00 to 7:00 pm, and the Patio Bar will be open from 5:00 to 10:00 pm. We welcome the following acts to our Patio Stage this summer: June 10 LP & the 45s June 17 Swing Street June 24 Annie Mack July 15 KnuFunk July 22 Dianna Parks July 29 LP & the 45s All ages are welcome. Be sure to wear your dancing shoes -- and we’ll see you @ The Civic!

Please visit our website for more information: www.RochesterCivicTheatre.org.

Faribault Car Cruise Night: 17-Jun, 6:00 PM, Downtown Faribault, Minnesota, 128 Central Avenue, Faribault, Free. Join in the fun of the Faribault Car Cruise Night with a great selection of vehicles to view, live DJ, and more!

Historic Faribault Pub Crawl: 17-Jun, 6:30 PM, Historic Hutchinson House B&B, 305 2nd Street NW, Faribault, Free. Faribault Historic Pub Crawl Series will be held on Friday nights, June 17, July 1 and July 22, at 6:00 pm. (Private tour dates available upon request.) Were bringing people who love history together with B&Bs (beer & bars) . . . its a new way to appreciate both. Join us on an enjoyable stroll through Faribaults Original Town Neighborhood, featuring a variety of homes dating back to the 1860s.

Well make several stops along the way including Grampa Als, one of the longestoperating bars retaining its original liquor license issued after the repeal of the Volstead Act. We will also visit F-Town Brewing Co., one of Minnesota’s newest breweries, as well several other stops in Faribault’s Historic Downtown District. Each venue we visit has a history and a story and we hope to highlight those stories over a few pints. Overnight stay required at the Historic Hutchinson House B&B. Drinks not included. 507-282-8629 ‘Night Watch’: 17-Jun, 7:00 PM, Rochester Civic Theatre, 20 Civic Center Dr SE, Roch-

ester, $17-$24. Visit www.rochestercivictheatre.org for more information. Rochester Civic Theatre proudly presents Lucille Fletcher’s ‘Night Watch’ June 10 - 26, 2016. Fridays and Saturdays at 7:00 pm; and Sunday, June 26 at 2:00 pm. An outstanding Broadway success, this ingeniously devised thriller builds steadily in menace and suspense until the final, heart-stopping moment of its unexpected ending. The New York Times called it [a] most superior thriller which from its first blood-curdling scream to its last charming surprise is a first-class example of its genre.

Directed by Greg Miller, our production features the talents of Suzanne Eastlund, Sean Lundberg, Christina Stier, Blake Hogue, Brian Bedard, Alex Beerling, James Driessen, Andrea Tieskotter, and Kendra Weyhrauch.

Viewing age: age 10 and up. Tickets are on sale now! Adult $24; Senior $19; Student $17 Visit www.rochestercivictheatre.org for more information. 507-282-8481 Rochester Honkers vs. Duluth Huskies: 17-Jun, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30. General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child. The Rochester Honkers enter their 23rd season as a member of the Northwoods League, the countrys premier summer collegiate baseball league. Every summer, top collegiate players move to Rochester for an incredible summer experience. Exciting Game Promotions, Fun Entertainment, Delicious Concessions, and the Best Happy Hour in town on the Sports Deck all contribute to a fun-filled, family-oriented experience. Come See the Stars of Tomorrow Shine Today! The Rochester Honkers: Pure Baseball, Pure Fun! 1776: 17-Jun, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $10-$18. Adults $18, children under 12 $10.

‘1776’ premiered on Broadway in 1969 and was nomintaed for five Tony Awards. In won three, including Best Musical.

Vanya And Sonia And Masha And Spike: 17-Jun, 7:30 PM, Central Park, 421 4th Street East, Northfield, $13-$17. If everyone took anti-depressants, Chekhov would have had nothing to write about. The 2013 Tony Award Best Play and hilarious comedy by Christopher Durang, directed by Michelle Schwantes.

Free Outdoor Family Movie: 17-Jun, 9:00 PM, Byron City Hall - Hillside Lawn, 680 Byron Main Ct NE, Byron, Free. The Byron Good Neighbor Days Committee is sponsoring 3 Outdoor Family movies over the summer. Come enjoy blockbuster movies under the stars on the side lawn of the Byron City Hall - all at no charge...and don’t forget to bring a blanket or chairs. Start times are approximate as the movie will begin at Dusk.

Local non-profits will be offering some concessions.

Jump Into Jenga Week: 17-Jun, All Day, Minnesota Children’s Museum Rochester, 1643 N. Broadway, Rochester, $0-$5.50.

Museum Admission: $5.50 Ages 1-101; Free Children Under 1. This week, we will be putting JUMBOJenga in the front space in preparation for our JUMBOJenga event at Forager Brewing Company on Friday, June 17th from 6-9pm. We will also be having a Jump & Jive Dance Party on Friday at 11am.

Come move it, move it with us!

Faribault Farmer’s Market: 18-Jun, 7:00 AM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free. Traditional farmer’s market featuring local produce and crafts.

Marion RC Flyers of Rochester, MN Fun Fly: 18-Jun, 9:00 AM, Marion RC Flyers Flying Field, 8015 50th St SE, Eyota, Free. Annual MRCF’s June Radio Control Fun Fly featuring RC model airplanes, helicopters and drones at one of the premier model airplane flying sites in Southeast MN. Public and spectators welcome. Food and

MR. JST TECHNOLOGY CONSULTING

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beverages on site. Free admission and parking. Directions to the flying field: South on Highway 52 to the city of Marion. Turn east on 54th Street SE. Follow the signs to the field. Contact Wayne Brown at 507-319-4406 for information.

Soap Box Races: 18-Jun, 9:00 AM, Peace Lutheran Church, 213 Sixth Ave. S.W., Faribault, Free. Local soap box derby.

Learn to Sail on Beautiful Lake Pepin: 18-Jun, 9:00 AM, Lake City Ohuta Park, Park Street, Lake City, $125 . Learn to Sail on Beautiful Lake Pepin Sailing is great fun!

Lake City Yacht Club will be holding their community sailing school on June 18-19 at Ohuta Beach in Lake City from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. The two day course utilizes material from the US Sailing Association to prepare students for safe sailing in small sailboats. The course includes: US Sailing Association textbook Learning the parts of a sailboat Safe sailing techniquesOn the lake sail training Basic sailing knots Class format is both classroom and hands-on instruction in Sunfish sailboats on beautiful Lake Pepin.

Minimum age requirement is sixteen years old, and all students must pass a basic swim check the first day of class. Course fee is $125 for two days of in-depth on the water training. Sailing is great fun! Register early to save your space. Contact Greg Mott at (612) 548-4734 or by email at grgmott94@ gmail.com. or more info at http://www. lakecityyachtclub.com/sailing-school/ Jump Into Jenga Week: 18-Jun, 9:00 AM, Minnesota Children’s Museum Rochester, 1643 N. Broadway, Rochester, $0-$5.50.

Museum Admission: $5.50 Ages 1-101; Free Children Under 1.

Summer Saturdays at the Museum: 18-Jun, 10:00 AM, Rice County Historical Society, 1814 Second Ave. N.W., Faribault, $3 . The Rice County Museum of History houses historical displays, a genealogical research center, and an exhibit area. The Museum exhibits include the stories of the Tilt-A-Whirl (Sellner Manufacturing), Minnesot’s only Heisman Trophy winner, Bruce Smith, Bishop Whipple, Grace McKinstry, and Native Americans. The museum also displays Main Street U.S.A., which is a timeline of businesses found in many small towns of Southern Minnesota. The RCHS also operates the Heritage and Harvest Halls that contain displays of farm and industrial items. In addition there are three historic pioneer buildings, which were moved to the museum site from around the county.

The buildings are an 1850s log cabin, the Pleasant Valley School organized in 1857, and The Holy Innocents Episcopal Church built in 1869.

Caledonia Founders Day: 18-Jun, 10:00 AM, Houston County Courthouse, 304 South Marshall Street, Caledonia, Free. Caledonia Founder’s Days June 22 2016 ALL DAY EVENT Kids Games Chicken Q Car/Tractor/ Motorcycle Show Street Dance BACK HOME BOYS Beer Tent.

Gammel Dag Fest (Good Old Days): 18-Jun, 10:00 AM, City Park, Fillmore Street, Peterson, Free. Scandinavian Midsummer Celebration - Live Music with Hardanger Fiddle, Nordic Dancers, Folk Art Demonstrations, Traditional Scandinavian Sweets, Nordic Fashion (Bunad) Show, Midsummer Flower Crowns, Norwegian Language Mini-lessons. Also: Medicine Show, Vintage Baseball, Parade, Chicken Dinner, 4-H Desserts, Strawberry Shortcake, Vintage Quilt Show, Scavenger Hunt, American Legion Street Dance, Artists, Puzzle Contest.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 18-Jun, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 . After You is the first exhibition in Rochester Art Center’s 2016 3rd Floor Emerging Artist Series, featuring new sculpture and installation-based work by

Emmett Ramstad, a Minneapolis-based artist.

The sculptures in the exhibition originate from familiar bathroom features such as towel dispensers, soap dishes, bathroom stalls, and restroom insignia. Together they form extra-ordinary pieces that distort the scale and function of bathroom surroundings and ask the viewer to reconsider their public grooming associations, as well as constructions of cleanliness.

The Great American Milk Drive: 18-Jun, 10:00 AM, Hy-Vee North, 500 37th Street NW, Rochester, Free. This June, Rochester Hy-Vee stores and KempsCows are partnering with The Great American Milk Drive to deliver much-needed, nutrient-rich milk to families served by Feeding America food banks. Collectively, Feeding Americas 200 food banks and 60,000 extension agencies serve over 46 million Americans who receiveon average one gallon of milk per person, per year. Join us for all the FUN! - FREE chocolate milk from the Kemps Moo-Mobile - FREE cereal samples from LOVE GROWN FOODS - Enter to win FREE milk for a year from Kemps - Free swag bag from Milk PEP to the first 100 people - Appearance from Rochester Honkers Baseball players and Slider You can make a difference! From June 1 June 30, Hy-Vee will collect donations at checkout for The Great American Milk Drive. Shoppers can donate the monetary equivalent of a half or whole gallon of milk at checkout. Each register at Hy-Vee stores will be equipped with a PLU card so cashiers can ring up donations at checkout. All donations will be turned into vouchers for free milk distributed to Channel One Regional Food Bank!

Riding for Rover & Friends: 18-Jun, 10:00 AM, North Star Bar, 503 N Broadway, Rochester, $10 . Annual motorcycle benefit run to raise money and awareness to benefit a no kill animal shelter (Safe Haven) all proceeds go to help with food, shelter, and vet care. Best $10 you’ll ever spend and its a great time. Register at North Star Bar Rochester, Mn 10am kickstands up at 11am sharp after a scenic ride we will return to North Star Bar for door prizes and food.

Mary 507-460-9173 or Dona 507-287-8561 mary17@hmtel.com.

Art in East Park: 18-Jun, 10:00 AM, East Park, 590 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. An eclectic mix of the area’s local and regional artists showcase paintings, sculpture, photography, glass, wood, jewelry, fiber, collage, ceramics, authors and more. Attendees can mingle and talk with artists, purchase artwork and enjoy music and food vendors. Patchouli plays new American folk from 10 a.m. 12:30 p.m. Captain Gravitone and the String Theory Orchestra play from 1-3 p.m.

Jamie Solberg & Tracie Thompson: 18-Jun, 10:00 AM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, Free. Wine and light appetizers.

Come as you are! Public Reception to meet the artists: Saturday, May 21, 6:30-7:45p.

Exhibit running from April 9 - June 18.

Hours: MTWF: 10a-5p Thursday: 10a-8p Friday: 10a-4p.

507-282-8629 Stone House Bus Tours: 18-Jun, 1:00 PM, Faribault City Hall, 208 First Ave. N.W., Faribault, Heritage Days Button Required ($4). Faribault’s Park & Recs signature tour takes in the best of residential and industrial stone architecture from Faribaults early days.

Tour is FREE, however a Heritage Days Button is required. Registration required. Meet at west side of City Hall 15 minutes before each tour begins. (Maximum 15 for all tours.)

Satori Student Showcase: 18-Jun, 6:00 PM, Mankato East High School Auditorium, 2600 Hoffman Road, Mankato, $15 . A belly dancing spectacular! Satori Violet Belly Dance presents the fourth annual Student Showcase - featuring over 30 dancers! There

• 301 Division St. S • • Downtown Northfield • • www.MrJST.com • • 507-786-9578 • Like us on at Facebook.com/MrJSTTech

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will be swords, veils, crazy costumes, all wrapped up with wicked dance moves and a bumpin’ soundtrack! This show is fun for the whole family - so come on in and enjoy an evening of great entertainment!

‘Night Watch’: 18-Jun, 7:00 PM, Rochester Civic Theatre, 20 Civic Center Dr SE, Rochester, $17-$24. Visit www.rochestercivictheatre.org for more information. 507-282-8481 Rochester Honkers vs. Willmar Stingers: 18-Jun, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30.

General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

1776: 18-Jun, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $10$18. Adults $18, children under 12 $10.

Vanya And Sonia And Masha And Spike: 18-Jun, 7:30 PM, Central Park, 421 4th Street East, Northfield, $13-$17.

Rochesterfest Triathlon: Presented

by Toyota: 19-Jun, 8:00 AM, Foster Arend Park, 400 N East River Road, Rochester, $61-$125. Price varys depending on when and what event you sign up for!. The Rochesterfest triathlon is one of those events that offers an experience for the newbie triathlete or for the seasoned veteran. The transition is the parking lot of the Foster Arends Park and therefore, the parking lot is not used for parking. The transition is fairly flat and pavement. Foster Arends pond is very unique that it is an old quarry turned into a pond by the city. You will love the location and the grassy hillside around the sandy beach is excellent for spectators and athletes alike! The sprint swim is a 1/4 mile swim in a pond that has little to no wind and no waves from boats. Additionally, parts of the course have noodles as boundaries to help you out in case of trouble. The olympic swim is a unique two lap course that goes around the pond, you get out of the water and then run to the start where you head back into the deep blue oasis. The olympic smim starts off and the sprint does not begin until the last olympic athletes starts his second lap on the course.

Learn to Sail on Beautiful Lake Pepin: 19-Jun, 9:00 AM, Lake City Ohuta Park, Park Street, Lake City, $125.

Jump Into Jenga Week: 19-Jun, 12:00 PM, Minnesota Children’s Museum Rochester, 1643 N. Broadway, Rochester, $0-$5.50.

Museum Admission: $5.50 Ages 1-101; Free Children Under 1.

Stone House Bus Tours: 19-Jun, 1:00 PM, Faribault City Hall, 208 First Ave. N.W., Faribault, Heritage Days Button Required ($4). Faribault’s Park & Recs signature tour takes in the best of residential and industrial stone architecture from Faribaults early days.

Tour is FREE, however a Heritage Days Button is required. Registration required. Meet at west side of City Hall 15 minutes before each tour begins. (Maximum 15 for all tours.)

Rochester Honkers vs. Willmar Stingers: 19-Jun, 1:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30.

General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

1776: 19-Jun, 2:00 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $10$18. Adults $18, children under 12 $10.

Rang De With Anup Jalota Live In Concert: 19-Jun, 5:30 PM, Mayo Civic Center Auditorium, 30 Civic Center Dr SE, Rochester, $25-$200. Come on out and listen to some great live music!

Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike: 19-Jun, 7:30 PM, Central Park, 421 4th Street East, Northfield, $13-$17.

Bruce Smith Golf Tournament: 20-Jun, 12:30 AM, Faribault Golf and Country Club, 1700 17th St. NW, Faribault, $120-$480. $120/person; $480/foursome. 27th annual golf tournament honoring Faribault native, Bruce Smith, the Heisman Trophy winner for the University of Minnesota’s Golden Gophers in 1941. Mondays event raises money for Faribault schools. At the conclusion of the golf, the evening will feature a banquet that includes dinner and speakers. Auction and raffle items will also be available.

The Amazing Hoopsters: 20-Jun, 11:00 AM, Comfrey Public Library, 306 Brown Street West, Comfrey, Free. An all ages, family-friendly show! This performance is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.

Blood Drive: 20-Jun, 1:00 PM, Spring Val-

ley MN Community Center, 200 S Broadway Ave, Spring Valley, Free. Our Savior’s Lutheran Church is hosting the Blood Drive.

The Amazing Hoopsters: 20-Jun, 4:00 PM, Butterfield Public Library, 111 North 2nd Street, Butterfield, Free.

God Wants You Well Bible Study: 20-Jun, 6:30 PM, Inspirational Technologies, Inc. Building, 1100 N. 4th Street, Le Sueur, Free. DVD series with Andrew Wommack, healing miracle testimonies, Bible study lessons, discussion, communion, prayer.

Everyone invited. Led by Dorothy Von Lehe.

Contact Dorothy at dvonlehe@mchsi.com or 507-665-6965.

The Amazing Hoopsters: 21-Jun, 10:00 AM, Madelia Public Library, 23 1st Street North, Madelia, Free.

25th Annual Million Dollar Hole-InOne Shoot Out: 21-Jun, 11:00 AM, Hadley Creek Golf Learning Center- Supporting the Rochester Senior Center, 2447 Hadley Valley RD. NE, Rochester, 40 Chances for $30. Join us for our 25th Annual Million Dollar Hole-In-One Shoot Out Sponsored by Sterling State Bank. This annual event will be held June 21st through the 24th at Hadley Creek Golf Learning Center! Cash awards and prizes will be given for closet to the pin shots during qualifying sessions each day.

There is also a putting contest with prizes.

Advance Coupon Books with 40 shots for ONLY $30 are now on sale at the Rochester Senior Center Business Office and Sterling State Bank.

The Amazing Hoopsters: 21-Jun, 2:00 PM, Darfur Public Library, 205 N Adrian Street, Darfur, Free.

RTC Hal Martin All Comers’ Track Meets: 21-Jun, 6:00 PM, John Marshall High School, 1510 14th Street NW, Rochester, Free. For many years kids in the Rochester area have taken part in the annual Hal Martin All-Comers’ Track Meets. They return this summer for the 46th Annual year.

The meets will be held at the John Marshall High School Track starting at 6:00 PM on the following Tuesdays: June 14th*, June 21st, June 28th and July 5th, July 12th. Events range from the 50 meter dash up to a mile event including a long jump event. There is a waiver parents sign the first night their children participate. Come one, come all to this great summer activity for children ages 2 and up. The meets are free and open to the public. See Rochester Track Club Website for more information.

The Amazing Hoopsters: 22-Jun, 10:00 AM, Le Sueur-Henderson High School, 901 Ferry St., Le Sueur, Free.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 22-Jun, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 .

25th Annual Million Dollar Hole-InOne Shoot Out: 22-Jun, 11:00 AM, Hadley Creek Golf Learning Center- Supporting the Rochester Senior Center, 2447 Hadley Valley RD. NE, Rochester, 40 Chances for $30. . .

Rochester Honkers vs. Eau Claire Express: 22-Jun, 12:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30.

General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

The Amazing Hoopsters: 22-Jun, 1:00 PM, Janesville-Waldorf-Pemberton School, 110 East 3rd Street, Janesville, Free.

Cannon Valley Mill Tours: 22-Jun, 4:00 PM, Faribault, Minnesota, , Faribault, $12 . Get to know the giants of industry who helped jumpstart the citys flour making industry to make the Cannon Valley famous throughout the world. Both tours offered are unique and visit several different millsites around the city. Fee: $12 per tour. Handouts provided. Presenter Jeff Jarvis. Limit 15/ tour. Wed. June 22, 4:00-5:30pm. Meet at the King Mill Dam parking lot. Fri. June 24, 6:00-7:30pm. Meet at Woolen Mill parking lot. Register at Faribault Park & Rec, call 507-334-2064, or online at www.faribault. org. 507-282-8629 Berne Wood Fired Pizza Summer Concert Series: 22-Jun, 5:00 PM, Zwingli United Church of Christ, 23148 County Highway 24, West Concord, Free. Delicious wood fired pizza will be sold along with a free summer concert series on the beautiful, rural grounds of Zwingli United Church of Christ located 7 miles west of Pine Island and 10 miles north of Kasson. Some picnic tables are provided but bringing lawn chairs is recommended. Pop, water and ice cream are sold. You may bring your own refreshments including beer and wine. Visit our website or find us on Facebook.

Hula Hoopers at Library: 22-Jun, 6:00 PM, New Ulm Public Library, 17 N. Broadway, New Ulm, Free. All are invited to see The Amazing Hoopsters on Wednesday, June 22 at 6 p.m. at New Ulm Public Library. The Hoopsters are a family of six from Hutchinson who perform spectacular hooping tricks choreographed to an artistic hoop dance performance. This event, which will last one hour, is part of the librarys On Your Mark, Get Set Read! Summer Reading Program. It is made possible by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative with funding from the Arts and Cultural Heritage Fund.

Karaoke: 22-Jun, 6:30 PM, American Legion Post 92, 315 First Avenue NW, Rochester, Free. From 6:30 - 10:30 PM every Wednesday!

Kickoff Summer Week: 23-Jun, 9:00 AM, Minnesota Children’s Museum Rochester, 1643 N. Broadway, Rochester, $0-$5.50.

Museum Admission: $5.50 Ages 1-101; Free Children Under 1. This week is jampacked with summer fun. Tuesday, MCMR will be hosting the Rochesterfest Noon Hour Entertainment at 12pm. Keep an eye out for us! We will also be at Rochesterfest’s Family Night Evening on Wednesday from 5:308:30pm. Stop by and say hi. At the Museum, we will have our first outdoor Mayo’s Big Healthy Fun on Thursday at 11, a sing along on Friday at 11, and Kids Yoga on Saturday at 4pm. Summertime is in full-swing at the Museum!

Twins Game: Take Me Out to the Ballgame!: 23-Jun, 9:30 AM, Rochester Senior Center, 121 N Broadway Ave, Rochester, $65-$70. Members: $65, Non-Members $70.

The Rochester Senior Center is hosting a trip to the Twins game again this year. Call your family and friends! Join us for a trip to Target Field to watch your Minnesota Twins take on the Philadelphia Phillies! What a great way to spend the day with fun people who are just as excited to cheer on the team and enjoy the beautiful stadium! We’ve got great seats right near first base, so come along with us and enjoy America’s favorite pastime! Amazing seats; Section 107, Rows 20, 21, and 22.

Cost: $65 Members, $70 Non-Members RSVP by June 1st, no refunds after June 1st Leaving the Rochester Senior Center at 9:30 am and Hobby Lobby parking lot by 9:40 am. Box Lunch Available from Great Harvest for $10. Ask for details when reserving your seat. Open to the public. Registration and payment required by June 1st.

25th Annual Million Dollar Hole-InOne Shoot Out: 23-Jun, 11:00 AM, Hadley Creek Golf Learning Center- Supporting the Rochester Senior Center, 2447 Hadley Valley RD. NE, Rochester, 40 Chances for $30.

Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 23-Jun, 1:00 PM, Gaylord Public Library, 332 Main Avenue, Gaylord, Free.

This make and take canvas art class is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.

Le Roy Farmers’ Market: 23-Jun, 4:00 PM, Le Roy Farmers’ Market, Corner of Broadway and Main, next to the LeRoy Center for the Creative Arts, Le Roy, Free. Le Roy Farmers’ Market Where: Corner of Broadway and Main, next to the LeRoy Center for the Creative Arts When: Thursdays from 4:00pm to 7:00pm starting on 5/19/16 and going thru 10/13/16 More information: David Perkins 507-273-5815 Farmersmarket@leroymn. com Www.farmersmarket.leroymn.com Www. Facebook.com/leroymarket Locally grown fruits, vegetables, meats, honey, maple syrup; baked goods; plants; crafts.

Dodge County History Center Exhibit: 23-Jun, 5:00 PM, Dodge County History Center, 615 Main St N, Mantorville, Free.

New exhibit opening on Thursday June 23rd at the History Center in Mantorville that will last until the end of summer. On Saturday, June 25th Author Erica Vetch will be available from 11-3. Erica featured our Red Cross Quilt for her book, ‘The Bride Sews With Love’. There will be displays on both levels of the Museum. *The lower level is not handicapped accessible*.

Cannon Valley Mill Tours: 23-Jun, 6:00 PM, Faribault, Minnesota, , Faribault, $12 .

Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 23-Jun, 6:00 PM, New Richland Public Library, 129 South Broadway, New Richland, Free. This make and take canvas art class is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund. For ages 10 and up.

Concerts in the Park: 23-Jun, 7:00 PM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free. Jivin Ivan & The Kings of Swing The ensemble specializes in music from the American songbook prior to the 1950s.

The band features some of the states finest musicians. MN Music Hall of Famer, Dr. Mike Hildebrandt, is lead instrumentalist, and local theatre personality Dallas Musselmann is lead vocalist. Sponsored by Signature Bar & Grill.

Harvey Milk Poetry Slam: 23-Jun, 7:00 PM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, Free. Harvey Milk became Americas first openly gay politician when he was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. After less than a year in office, he was assassinated by another city supervisor. Base your work (loosely) on the selected quote: Rights are won only by those who make their voices heard. Harvey Milk.

To register as a participant, send a sample of your poetry to vangiec@diversitycouncil.org.

You can also register at the door beginning at 6:30 on a first-come, first-served basis. Free refreshments and cash bar. You must be 18 or older to participate.

1776: 23-Jun, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $10$18. Adults $18, children under 12 $10.

Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike: 23-Jun, 7:30 PM, Central Park, 421 4th Street East, Northfield, $13-$17.

Faribault Farmer’s Market: 25-Jun, 7:00 AM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free. Traditional farmer’s market featuring local produce and crafts.

Kickoff Summer Week: 24-Jun, 9:00 AM, Minnesota Children’s Museum Rochester, 1643 N. Broadway, Rochester, $0-$5.50.

Museum Admission: $5.50 Ages 1-101; Free Children Under 1.

Meditation In The Garden Courtyard: 24-Jun, 9:30 AM, Assisi Heights, 1001 14th Street NW, Rochester, Free. Spend up to three Friday mornings exploring the beauty and treasure of nature in ‘your inner garden’ through the senses of the outer garden at Assisi Heights. Engage in mindful meditations to absorb the garden through its sounds, sights, textures, and smells.

Breathing exercises help clear the mind of its chatter and bring progressive relaxation, as you restore emotional balance , cultivate inner peace and deepen your connection to the beauty of nature. Weather permitting, class will be outside. Wear walking shoes.

Registration Required.. .

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 24-Jun, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 .

Story Time: 24-Jun, 10:30 AM, Historic R.D. Hubbard House, 606 S. Broad St., Mankato, Free. Join Mary Esther Hubbard for a special Story Time on the Lawn of the Historic R. D. Hubbard House. Story Time includes a story and crafts. Story Time is free and open to the public. 507-282-8629 25th Annual Million Dollar Hole-InOne Shoot Out: 24-Jun, 11:00 AM, Hadley Creek Golf Learning Center- Supporting the Rochester Senior Center, 2447 Hadley Valley RD. NE, Rochester, 40 Chances for $30. Join us for our 25th Annual Million Dollar Hole-In-One Shoot Out Sponsored by Sterling State Bank. This annual event will be held June 21st through the 24th at Hadley Creek Golf Learning Center! Cash awards and prizes will be given for closet to the pin shots during qualifying sessions each day.

There is also a putting contest with prizes.

Advance Coupon Books with 40 shots for ONLY $30 are now on sale at the Rochester Senior Center Business Office and Sterling State Bank.

Summer Free Friday Concerts!: 24-Jun, 5:00 PM, Rochester Civic Theatre, 20 Civic Center Dr SE, Rochester, Free. The Rochester Civic Theatre is delighted to announce the return of its Summer @ The Civic Patio Concert Series. On select Friday nights in June and July, enjoy free live music and fresh food available for purchase. Bands will play from 5:00 to 7:00 pm, and again from 9:00 to 10:00 pm. Food will be available from 5:00 to 7:00 pm, and the Patio Bar will be open from 5:00 to 10:00 pm. We welcome the following acts to our Patio Stage this summer: June 10 LP & the 45s June 17 Swing Street June 24 Annie Mack July 15 KnuFunk July 22 Dianna Parks July 29 LP & the 45s All ages are welcome. Be sure to wear your dancing shoes -- and we’ll see you @ The Civic! Please visit our website for more information: www.RochesterCivicTheatre.org.

507-282-8481 Rochesterfest One Mile Race: 24-Jun, 6:00 PM, Rochester Area Family YMCA,

A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

F o ll o w u s

The Great River Shakespeare Festival June 22-July 31 Winona I have several strong opinions on things, but none stronger than this one: if you tell me that you don’t like Shakespeare, I will immediately conclude that you are an idiot.

Now that we have that out of the way, I want to implore you to go check out the 13th season of The Great River Shakespeare Festival in Winona. The Great River Shakespeare Festival is the gem of the Southern Minnesota summer theater season.

Each year, from the last week of June through the end of July, the company offers two of his works, plus an additional, generally more contemporary, production.

This year, they bring us As You Like It and Julius Caesar, along with a new musical

by West Hyler, Matt Schatz and Jack Herrick, Georama. Additionally, the GRSF Intern and Apprentice companies will present the Bard’s last written Tragedy, Coriolanus.

In addition to the shows, which will run in rep throughout the five week Festival, the GRSF will also offer a series of free concerts each weekend featuring performers like Delfeayo Marsalis, Reina del Cid, Mike Munson & Jillian Rae, The Weathered Heads and The Counterfactuals. A series of symposiums and conversations relating to the plays, narrated set changeovers, and company conversations on Thursday evenings and Sunday mornings.

For those of you that I insulted at the outset of this piece, let me say that yes, I do understand that Shakespeare can be hard to follow and understand. The English language he used to write his works is very different from the one we speak today.

In light of that situation the festival organizers offer pre-show conversations thirty minutes before every performance, where they will go over everything with you: who the characters are, the plot of the play, and offer tips on how to better understand the words spoken on stage. There. Now you have no excuse.

We can’t recommend this company, these performances and this festival strong enough. Put it on your bucket list for the summer and go.

– – Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@ southernminnscene.com.

709 1st Avenue SW, Rochester, $25 . Camp Olson YMCA will be holding the 4th annual one-mile run/walk event ‘Camp Olson YMCA Rochesterfest Mile’ immediately before the start of the Rochesterfest parade. On June 24, 2016 the race will begin at approximately 6:05 PM and benefit camp’s scholarship program. Last year Camp Olson YMCA provided over $88,000 in scholarship support, to send youth to our resident camping programs. 100% of the proceeds will benefit our scholarship program. Please consider joining us for this fun or competitive mile run event. Race down the Rochesterfest Parade route with 1,000s of spectators cheering you on!You will participate with some of the best mile runners in our area. T-shirt guaranteed if registered by June 10.

‘Night Watch’: 24-Jun, 7:00 PM, Rochester Civic Theatre, 20 Civic Center Dr SE, Rochester, $17-$24. Visit www.rochestercivictheatre.org for more information. . .

507-282-8481 Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike: 24-Jun, 7:30 PM, Central Park, 421

4th Street East, Northfield, $13-$17.

1776: 24-Jun, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $10$18. Adults $18, children under 12 $10.

Hosanna’s Pantry: 25-Jun, 9:00 AM, Hosanna Lutheran Church, 2815 57th St NW, Rochester, Free. Hosanna’s Pantry is a satellite food shelf of Channel One food bank in Rochester. A photo ID is required. Coffee and treats are served while you wait to shop.

Kickoff Summer Week: 25-Jun, 9:00 AM, Minnesota Children’s Museum Rochester, 1643 N. Broadway, Rochester, $0-$5.50.

Museum Admission: $5.50 Ages 1-101; Free Children Under 1.

Summer Saturdays at the Museum: 25-Jun, 10:00 AM, Rice County Historical Society, 1814 Second Ave. N.W., Faribault, $3 . The Rice County Museum of History houses historical displays, a genealogical research center, and an exhibit area. The Museum exhibits include the stories of the Tilt-A-Whirl (Sellner Manufacturing), Minnesot’s only Heisman Trophy winner, Bruce

Smith, Bishop Whipple, Grace McKinstry, and Native Americans. The museum also displays Main Street U.S.A., which is a timeline of businesses found in many small towns of Southern Minnesota. The RCHS also operates the Heritage and Harvest Halls that contain displays of farm and industrial items. In addition there are three historic pioneer buildings, which were moved to the museum site from around the county.

The buildings are an 1850s log cabin, the Pleasant Valley School organized in 1857, and The Holy Innocents Episcopal Church built in 1869.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 25-Jun, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 .

Hy-Vee South & The Great American Milk Drive: 25-Jun, 10:00 AM, Hy-Vee South, 500 Crossroads Dr SW, Rochester, Free. This June, Rochester Hy-Vee stores and KempsCows are partnering with The Great American Milk Drive to deliver much-needed, nutrient-rich milk to families served by Feeding America food banks. Collectively, Feed-

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and composer, Billy McLaughlin astounds audiences with the breadth of sound he draws from an acoustic guitar.

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WEEK of JUNE 26-JULY 2:

The Jayhawks 7 p.m., July 1 Weesner Family Amphitheater, Minnesota Zoo, Apple Valley It’s entirely possible that we don’t talk enough about the Jayhawks in this magazine.

Lord knows I trip over myself to get any mention of The Replacements, Hüsker Dü, Prince, Bob Dylan, and even Soul Asylum that I can into these pages. Why wouldn’t I do the same thing for the Jayhawks?

Maybe it’s because I tend to take them for granted. They’re the rare Twin Cities band that has a national following, but really feels like a local group. Gary Louris is an incredible singer, songwriter and guitarist, but he doesn’t seem to have any sort of rock star ego whatsoever (back when I used to sell tickets at the Metrodome for the Minnesota Twins, he would come to my window on a regular basis and always seemed a little surprised to be recognized). They’ve always sort of been around. I remember back in the early 90’s going to a succession of shows at the Orpheum Theater in Minneapolis – Bob, Dylan, Neil Young, Bruce Cockburn, Cowboy Junkies – and the Jayhawks were the opening act for every single one. Even when mark Olson left the band, I just assumed they would press on, which they did (and got some spectacular results). During the five years they were “broken up,” you’d still hear about Louris and Mark Perlman showing up at the Fine Line to play a couple sets. When they made their “reunion” album a few years ago with Mark Olson, I was not surprised. Nor was I surprised when Olson left the band for a second time, I just sort of assumed that there would be another Jayhawks album, which there was, as of April 29th, 2016.

So, I am absolutely guilty of taking this band for granted, but I that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate them. The Jayhawks are one of the best bands ever to come out of the Twin Cities. In fact, they are two of the best - one version with Olson, one without.

The best.

The Jayhawks are probably the closest successors to Gram Parsons in creating what Parsons called “Cosmic American Music.” The band is truly adept at blending strong elements of folk, rock and country music, but without the spit and polish of groups like the Eagles. Their music has always had an edge to it; sometimes sounding like rough-hewn lumber, sometimes sounding like a psychedelic experiment in corn field, and sometimes just sounding plain-old loud. Gloriously, of course, but loud.

The version that arrives at the Weesner Amphitheater on July 1st is made up of core members, including Louris, bassist Perlman, drummer Tim O’Reagan and pianist/ vocalist Karen Grotberg (whom I’ve always seen as the group’s secret weapon).

They’re out in support of that new album, Paging Mr. Proust, which is every bit as good as the music we’ve been hearing from them for damn near thirty years.

They may not always get their due, and maybe I’m a little culpable in that, but they are still one hell of a good band. The Weesner (bugs and all) is just about the perfect place to go see them.

So do it.

– – Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@ southernminnscene.com. ing Americas 200 food banks and 60,000 extension agencies serve over 46 million Americans who receiveon average one gallon of milk per person, per year. Join us for all the FUN! - FREE chocolate milk from the Kemps Moo-Mobile - FREE cereal samples from LOVE GROWN FOODS - Enter to win FREE milk for a year from Kemps - Free swag bag from Milk PEP to the first 100 people Live calf from a local farm - Official race car from Deer Creek Speedway - UNLIMITED pancakes for kids 12 and under. Limit 1 per child with adult Market Grille breakfast, lunch or dinner purchase. You can make a difference! From June 1 June 30, Hy-Vee will collect donations at checkout for The Great American Milk Drive. Shoppers can donate the monetary equivalent of a half or whole gallon of milk at checkout. Each register at Hy-Vee stores will be equipped with a PLU card so cashiers can ring up donations at checkout. All donations will be turned into vouchers for free milk distributed to Channel One Regional Food Bank!

SCHEELS Paddle Demo: 25-Jun, 10:00 AM, Foster Arend Park, 400 N East River

Road, Rochester, Free. Date: Saturday, June 25 Time: 10:00 am to 2:00 pm Location: Foster Arend Park 4051 E. River Road NE, Rochester MN Ages: All ages welcome Registration: None required. If you are under 18 years a parent must be present to sign for you. Come experience the latest in paddle boards, kayaks and water sport gear. SCHEELS Experts and Vendors representatives will be on site to answer all your questions! Try out all these exciting products for FREE at SCHEELS Paddle Sport Demo Day. 507-282-8629 Bingo: 25-Jun, 1:00 PM, American Legion, 315 First Avenue NW, Rochester, Free. Bingo 1PM the 2nd and 4th Saturdays of the month.

Kitchen open at 11:00 serving delicious foods! $1.00 and $2.00 cards.

Zumbro River Community Festival: 25-Jun, 4:00 PM, Camp Victory, 58212 403rd Ave, Zumbro Falls, Free. Join us for our annual Zumbro River Community Festival on Saturday, June 25th, 4:00 - 9:30 pm with the best fireworks display in SE MN starting at 9:45 pm. Entry into the festival is free and there is something (many things) for every-

one of every age. We will have Christian rock bands, Light45, Bread of Stone, and Unspoken, inflatables, electronic trap shooting, zip line, petting zoo, wagon rides. Euro bungee jump. laser tag, face painting, silent auction, and so much more. Bring the entire family and spend an unforgettable afternoon and evening together at Camp Victory’s Zumbro River Community Festival. More information can be found at http://www.campvictory.com/ events/zumbro-river-community-festival.

‘Night Watch’: 25-Jun, 7:00 PM, Rochester Civic Theatre, 20 Civic Center Dr SE, Rochester, $17-$24. Visit www.rochestercivictheatre.org for more information.

1776: 25-Jun, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $10-$18. Adults $18, children under 12 $10. . . 507-282-8481 Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike: 25-Jun, 7:30 PM, Central Park, 421 4th Street East, Northfield, $13-$17. . .

Billy McLaughlin: 25-Jun, 8:00 PM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, $18$20. An innovative and versatile performer

Kickoff Summer Week: 26-Jun, 12:00 PM, Minnesota Children’s Museum Rochester, 1643 N. Broadway, Rochester, $0-$5.50.

Museum Admission: $5.50 Ages 1-101; Free Children Under 1. This week is jampacked with summer fun. Tuesday, MCMR will be hosting the Rochesterfest Noon Hour Entertainment at 12pm. Keep an eye out for us! We will also be at Rochesterfest’s Family Night Evening on Wednesday from 5:308:30pm. Stop by and say hi. At the Museum, we will have our first outdoor Mayo’s Big Healthy Fun on Thursday at 11, a sing along on Friday at 11, and Kids Yoga on Saturday at 4pm. Summertime is in full-swing at the Museum!

‘Night Watch’: 26-Jun, 2:00 PM, Rochester Civic Theatre, 20 Civic Center Dr SE, Rochester, $17-$24. Visit www. rochestercivictheatre.org for more information. Rochester Civic Theatre proudly presents Lucille Fletcher’s ‘Night Watch’ June 10 - 26, 2016. Fridays and Saturdays at 7:00 pm; and Sunday, June 26 at 2:00 pm. An outstanding Broadway success, this ingeniously devised thriller builds steadily in menace and suspense until the final, heart-stopping moment of its unexpected ending. The New York Times called it [a] most superior thriller which from its first blood-curdling scream to its last charming surprise is a first-class example of its genre.

Directed by Greg Miller, our production features the talents of Suzanne Eastlund, Sean Lundberg, Christina Stier, Blake Hogue, Brian Bedard, Alex Beerling, James Driessen, Andrea Tieskotter, and Kendra Weyhrauch.

Viewing age: age 10 and up. Tickets are on sale now! Adult $24; Senior $19; Student $17 Visit www.rochestercivictheatre.org for more information. 507-282-8481 Cave Quest Vacation Bible School: 26Jun, 6:00 PM, South Troy Wesleyan Church, 56817 Hwy 63, Zumbro Falls, Free. Come out to Cave Quest Vacation bible school-lots of fun this summer. We start on Sunday June 26 and go through Thursday June 30 from 6-8pm. Cave Quest is for children ages 3 years-- 6th grade Please register on-line or call 5072591442.

Time Trader Orientation: 27-Jun, 5:30 PM, Rochester Area Family YMCA, 709 1st Avenue SW, Rochester, Free. We have group orientations the 4th Monday of the month at 5:30p.m. at Rochester Family YMCA. Time Trader is an organized exchange network through which members earn Time Credits (TC) for time spent helping other members.

One hour of service earns one TC. With TC, members can buy services they want or need. For example, if you give one hour of childcare, you can receive one hour of painting, accounting, transportation assistance, or a piano lesson, and the list goes on.

Rochester Honkers vs. Thunder Bay Border Cats: 27-Jun, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30.

General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child. The Rochester Honkers enter their 23rd season as a member of the Northwoods League, the countrys premier summer collegiate baseball league. Every summer, top collegiate players move to Rochester for an incredible summer experience. Exciting Game Promotions, Fun Entertainment, Delicious Concessions, and the Best Happy Hour in town on the Sports Deck all contribute to a fun-filled, family-oriented experience. Come See the Stars of Tomorrow Shine Today! The Rochester Honkers: Pure Baseball, Pure Fun! RTC Hal Martin All Comers’ Track Meets: 28-Jun, 6:00 PM, John Marshall High School, 1510 14th Street NW, Rochester, Free. For many years kids in the Rochester area have taken part in the annual Hal Martin All-Comers’ Track Meets. They return this summer for the 46th Annual year.

The meets will be held at the John Marshall High School Track starting at 6:00 PM on the

following Tuesdays: June 14th*, June 21st, June 28th and July 5th, July 12th. Events range from the 50 meter dash up to a mile event including a long jump event. There is a waiver parents sign the first night their children participate. Come one, come all to this great summer activity for children ages 2 and up. The meets are free and open to the public. See Rochester Track Club Website for more information.

UMR CONNECTS: The Art of Social Dance: 28-Jun, 7:00 PM, Peace Plaza, 1st Ave SW, Rochester, Free. April Dahl and Dahl Dance Studio presents and demonstration on the significance of social dance in the past 100 years and how it has evolved in the US based on music trends and cultural contributions. We will be showcasing costuming styles, music and connection through dance.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 29-Jun, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 . After You is the first exhibition in Rochester Art Center’s 2016 3rd Floor Emerging Artist Series, featuring new sculpture and installation-based work by Emmett Ramstad, a Minneapolis-based artist.

The sculptures in the exhibition originate from familiar bathroom features such as towel dispensers, soap dishes, bathroom stalls, and restroom insignia. Together they form extra-ordinary pieces that distort the scale and function of bathroom surroundings and ask the viewer to reconsider their public grooming associations, as well as constructions of cleanliness.

The Amazing Hoopsters: 29-Jun, 10:30 AM, North Mankato Taylor Library, 1001 Belgrade Ave., North Mankato, Free. An all ages, family-friendly show! This performance is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.

Teen Archery Program: 29-Jun, 2:00 PM, New Ulm Archery Range, 220 Tower Rd., New Ulm, Free. Young adults ages 12-18 are invited to a Teen Archery program on Wednesday, June 29 from 2-4 p.m. at the Archery Range, 220 Tower Rd. in New Ulm. DNR Minneopa Area Naturalist Scott Kudelka will lead this hands-on class. Registration with parental signature is required; forms are available at the library. This event is part of the librarys On Your Mark, Get Set Read!

Summer Reading Program. The rain date is Thursday, June 29 from 2-4 p.m.

The Amazing Hoopsters: 29-Jun, 2:00 PM, Waterville Public Library, 210 E Paquin Street, Waterville, Free.

Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 29-Jun, 3:00 PM, Lewisville Public Library, 105 Lewis Street, Lewisville, Free. This make and take canvas art class is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund. This is an adults-only program.. . (5070 345-5120 Berne Wood Fired Pizza Summer Concert Series: 29-Jun, 5:00 PM, Zwingli United Church of Christ, 23148 County Highway 24, West Concord, Free. Delicious wood fired pizza will be sold along with a free summer concert series on the beautiful, rural grounds of Zwingli United Church of Christ located 7 miles west of Pine Island and 10 miles north of Kasson. Some picnic tables are provided but bringing lawn chairs is recommended. Pop, water and ice cream are sold. You may bring your own refreshments including beer and wine. Visit our website or find us on Facebook.. . (5070 345-5120 The Amazing Hoopsters: 29-Jun, 6:00 PM, North Mankato Taylor Library, 1001 Belgrade Ave., North Mankato, Free.

507-282-8629 Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 29-Jun, 6:30 PM, Madelia Elementary School, 121 East Main Street, Madelia, Free. This make and take canvas art class is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund. This program is for ages 5-12 years old.

Karaoke: 29-Jun, 6:30 PM, American Legion Post 92, 315 First Avenue NW, Rochester, Free. From 6:30 - 10:30 PM every Wednesday!

Rochester Honkers Vs. Mankato MoonDogs: 29-Jun, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30.

General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

Le Roy Farmers’ Market: 30-Jun, 4:00 PM, Le Roy Farmers’ Market, Corner of Broadway and Main, next to the LeRoy Center for the Creative Arts, Le Roy, Free. Le Roy Farmers’ Market Where: Corner of Broadway and Main, next to the LeRoy Center for the Creative Arts When: Thursdays from 4:00pm to 7:00pm starting on 5/19/16 and going thru 10/13/16 More information: David Perkins 507-273-5815 Farmersmarket@leroymn. com Www.farmersmarket.leroymn.com Www. Facebook.com/leroymarket Locally grown fruits, vegetables, meats, honey, maple syrup; baked goods; plants; crafts.

Concerts in the Park: 30-Jun, 7:00 PM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free. Fridley City Band For over 50 years the Fridley City Band has been a community band that attracts both professional players and gifted amateurs. The band members have formed a specialty band that plays arrangements from Germany. Sponsored by May Bottke and Jon & Gloria Olson.

Rochester Honkers Vs. Eau Claire Express: 30-Jun, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30.

General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

Despicable Me: 30-Jun, 8:30 PM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free. A man who delights in all things wicked, supervillain Gru (Steve Carell) hatches a plan to steal the moon. Surrounded by an army of little yellow minions and his impenetrable arsenal of weapons and war machines, Gru makes ready to vanquish all who stand in his way. But nothing in his calculations and groundwork has prepared him for his greatest challenge: three adorable orphan girls (Miranda Cosgrove, Dana Gaier, Elsie Fisher) who want to make him their dad.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 1-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5.

Story Time: 1-Jul, 10:30 AM, Historic R.D. Hubbard House, 606 S. Broad St., Mankato, Free. Join Mary Esther Hubbard for a special Story Time on the Lawn of the Historic R. D. Hubbard House. Story Time includes a story and crafts. Story Time is free and open to the public. 507-282-8629 Historic Faribault Pub Crawl: 1-Jul, 6:30 PM, Historic Hutchinson House B&B, 305 2nd Street NW, Faribault, Free. Faribault Historic Pub Crawl Series will be held on Friday nights, June 17, July 1 and July 22, at 6:00 pm. (Private tour dates available upon request.) Were bringing people who love history together with B&Bs (beer & bars) . . . its a new way to appreciate both. Join us on an enjoyable stroll through Faribaults Original Town Neighborhood, featuring a variety of homes dating back to the 1860s.

Well make several stops along the way including Grampa Als, one of the longestoperating bars retaining its original liquor license issued after the repeal of the Volstead Act. We will also visit F-Town Brewing Co., one of Minnesota’s newest breweries, as well several other stops in Faribault’s Historic Downtown District. Each venue we visit has a history and a story and we hope to highlight those stories over a few pints. Overnight stay required at the Historic Hutchinson House B&B. Drinks not included.

507-384-3291 the Ultimate Tribute To Johnny Cash, With Terry Lee Goffee: 1-Jul, 8:00 PM, State Theater, 96 E 4th St, Zumbrota, $24-$28. Terry Lee Goffee has been a Johnny Cash fan since he was 8 years old. His long-running admiration for the music and the man is apparent in his performance as Cash. Goffee does more than play the music or impersonate Cash: like an actor in a play, he becomes his character from the moment he walks on stage until the end of the show.

He plays the music so well audiences and reviewers rave. He plays the man so well, he was chosen to provide the moves for a Cash character on the Guitar Hero 5 video game.

Faribault Farmer’s Market: 2-Jul, 7:00 AM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free. Traditional farmer’s market featuring local produce and crafts.

Harmony’s 4th of July Celebration: 2-Jul, 7:00 AM, City of Harmony, Selvig Park, Harmony, Free. Harmonys 4th of July Celebration 2016 Saturday, July 2nd Harmony Hustle 7am Registration- 5K at 8am, 1K Kids Challenge at 9:30am Registration at www.teambodaciousbroads.com or by stopping in Harmony Telephone Company.

Sponsored by the Bodacious Broads ACS Relay for Life Team Noon-midnight Beer Tent at North Side of Selvig Park, Harmony Conservation Club 8pm-midnight Voights Volume Entertainment in Beer Tent at North

Side of Selvig Park, Harmony Conservation Club Sunday, July 3rd 9am- Ecumenical Service in Selvig Park Sponsored by local churches. Please bring your own chairs. In case of rain, service will be held at Greenfield Lutheran Church 10am- Ecumenical Brunch at Selvig Park Shelter, Bodacious Broads ACS Relay for Life Team 11am-1pm Open House at Harmony Kids Learning Center Noon-midnight Beer Tent at North Side of Selvig Park, Harmony Conservation Club 1pm-6pm Art on the Green, Local Arts & Crafts on the lawn between the Harmony Visitor Center and Village Green Gift Shops.

Featuring music by the Southfork String Band from 12:30pm-2:30pm &Tom Schramm from 3pm-6pm. In case of inclement weather, event will be moved to the Harmony Community Center Gym 2pm- Dedication of the Harmony Area Cancer Support Group Park, Located at the intersection of 1st St. NE and Main Avenue North 3pm-6pm Estelles Eatery Customer Appreciation One Year Anniversary Party, Located at 121 Main Avenue North 8pm-midnight Karaoke DJ Joe in Beer Tent at North Side of Selvig Park, Harmony Conservation Club Monday, July 4th 7am-9:30am- Pancake Breakfast at Harmony Fire Hall, Harmony Conservation Club NEW TIME 10:30am- Toad Races at the Village Green, BYOT (Bring Your Own Toad) 11am-6pm Food Vendors in Selvig Park Harmony Lions Club Brat & BBQ Stand, Hasleiet Concessions, Fillmore County ADA Malt & Ice Cream Wagon, Fillmore County Pork Producers Pork Burger Stand, Root River Kettle Corn & Stumpys Concessions 11am-1:30pm Smoked Pork Chop Dinner in Selvig Park Picnic Shelter, Harmony United Methodist Church 11am-3pm Balloon Animals & Entertainment by Clown Roundup in Selvig Park Sponsored by RE/MAX Select Properties, Sterling Drug & Estelles Eatery 11am-6pm Rocket Bouncer, Mutiny on the Bouncer & Screamer Slide in Selvig Park Sponsored by the Harmony Area Community Foundation and Oak Meadow Meats. Wristbands for unlimited rides $3 per child or $10 per family Noon-midnight Beer Tent at North Side of Selvig Park, Harmony Conservation Club NEW TIME 11:30am- 6th Annual Hammell Equipment Kiddie Pedal Pull (state sanctioned) In the parking lot behind First Southeast Bank. Kid Power Pedal Tractor Pulls, Registration at 11:30am, Pedal Pull at Noon 2:45- Kiddie Parade- Parade Theme, Independence Day, its a Harmony Thing (Line up in front of Old Ways New Ideas) 3pmGrand Parade, Grand Marshall Vicky Tribon of the Harmony Area Community Foundation & Harmony Trails Commission 4pm-6pm FFA Petting Zoo at Selvig Park, sponsored

by Kingsley Mercantile 4pm-5:30pm Pony Cart Rides & Train Rides at Selvig Park, sponsored by Harmony Telephone Company and Bluff Country Computer Works 4pm7pm Jim Busta Band Featuring Mollie B from RFD-TV Polka at Selvig Park. Sponsored by First Southeast Bank of Harmony & Canton, Harmony Enterprises & the Harmony Park Board. Button Drawings during intermission.

Sponsored by First Southeast Bank, Harmony Enterprises & the Harmony Park Board. In case of inclement weather, concert will be held at Fillmore Central High School. At Dark; Fireworks at North Park sponsored by the City of Harmony, First Southeast Bank of Harmony & Canton and the Harmony Firemens Relief Association. Presented by the Harmony Volunteer Fire Department. http:// www.exploreharmony.com See our website for full event details!

7th Annual Harmony Hustle Relay for Life: 2-Jul, 7:00 AM, Harmony Minnesota Visitor Center, 15 2nd St NW, Harmony, $10-$30. We are pleased to announce plans for the 7th Annual Harmony Hustle. All proceeds from this year’s event will support the Fillmore County Relay for Life fundraiser and is sponsored by Team Bodacious Broads and the Harmony Lions Club. The 2016 ‘Paint Your World Purple’ Relay event will be held July 8th in Chatfield. Your donation will help fund cancer research and hopefully identify treatments and cures. Join the fun at the Harmony Hustle Event on July 2.

Participate individually or as a group. This is a great opportunity for family, friends, or co-workers joining together for a fun outing (maybe a little friendly competition). You can run or walk, whatever you can do is OK; THIS IS A FUN EVENT! Spread the news and come out and support this great project for Relay for Life. Race Times and Entry Fees: 5K Fun Run/Walk 8:00 am - $25 donation ($30 after June 24), age 10 and under Free.

All 5K registrants will receive a T-shirt (adult sizes S-2XL as available) 1K Kids Challenge (10 and under) at 10:00 AM - $10 donation ($15 after June 24) All registrants will receive a gift. Volunteers the day of the event needed! If interested, please contact the

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team! For more information please contact us at teambodaciousbroads@harmonytel. net or 507-272-8369. Event sponsorship opportunities are available. Contact the team for more information!

Summer Saturdays at the Museum: 2-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rice County Historical Society, 1814 Second Ave. N.W., Faribault, $3 .

The Rice County Museum of History houses historical displays, a genealogical research center, and an exhibit area. The Museum exhibits include the stories of the Tilt-A-Whirl (Sellner Manufacturing), Minnesot’s only Heisman Trophy winner, Bruce Smith, Bishop Whipple, Grace McKinstry, and Native Americans. The museum also displays Main Street U.S.A., which is a timeline of businesses found in many small towns of Southern Minnesota. The RCHS also operates the Heritage and Harvest Halls that contain displays of farm and industrial items. In addition there are three historic pioneer buildings, which were moved to the museum site from around the county. The buildings are an 1850s log cabin, the Pleasant Valley School organized in 1857, and The Holy Innocents Episcopal Church built in 1869.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 2-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 . After You is the first exhibition in Rochester Art Center’s 2016 3rd Floor Emerging Artist Series, featuring new sculpture and installation-based work by Emmett Ramstad, a Minneapolis-based artist.

The sculptures in the exhibition originate from familiar bathroom features such as towel dispensers, soap dishes, bathroom stalls, and restroom insignia. Together they form extra-ordinary pieces that distort the scale and function of bathroom surroundings and ask the viewer to reconsider their public grooming associations, as well as constructions of cleanliness.

Lupus and Autoimmune Diseases Support Group: 2-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Public Library, 101 SE 2nd Street, Rochester, Free. People living with lupus and other autoimmune diseases are invited to attend this free community support group. Offered by the Lupus Foundation of Minnesota. Group meets at the Rochester Public Library on the first Saturday of each month from 10:0011:30 a.m. For more information, contact leader Arianna Thome at 612-730-4698 or visit LupusMN.org. 507-282-8629 Rochester Honkers vs. Duluth Huskies: 2-Jul, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30.

General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

Johnny Peers & the Muttville Comix: 2-Jul, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $10-$20. $15 Members, $20 Non-Members, $10 Students.

A comedy dog show. Johnny Peers and the Muttville Comix have appeared in Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus, the David Letterman show as well as at theaters and festivals around the country!

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WEEK of JULY 3-9: Harmony’s 4th of July Celebration: 3-Jul, 9:00 AM, City of Harmony, Selvig

Park, Harmony, Free. Harmonys 4th of July Celebration 2016 Saturday, July 2nd Harmony Hustle 7am Registration- 5K at 8am, 1K Kids Challenge at 9:30am Registration at www.teambodaciousbroads.com or by stopping in Harmony Telephone Company.

Sponsored by the Bodacious Broads ACS Relay for Life Team Noon-midnight Beer Tent at North Side of Selvig Park, Harmony Conservation Club 8pm-midnight Voights Volume Entertainment in Beer Tent at North Side of Selvig Park, Harmony Conservation Club Sunday, July 3rd 9am- Ecumenical Service in Selvig Park Sponsored by local churches. Please bring your own chairs. In case of rain, service will be held at Greenfield Lutheran Church 10am- Ecumenical Brunch at Selvig Park Shelter, Bodacious Broads ACS Relay for Life Team 11am-1pm Open House at Harmony Kids Learning Center Noon-midnight Beer Tent at North Side of Selvig Park, Harmony Conservation Club 1pm-6pm Art on the Green, Local Arts & Crafts on the lawn between the Harmony Visitor Center and Village Green Gift Shops.

Featuring music by the Southfork String Band from 12:30pm-2:30pm &Tom Schramm from 3pm-6pm. In case of inclement weather, event will be moved to the Harmony Community Center Gym 2pm- Dedication of the Harmony Area Cancer Support Group Park, Located at the intersection of 1st St. NE and Main Avenue North 3pm-6pm Estelles Eatery Customer Appreciation One Year Anniversary Party, Located at 121 Main Avenue North 8pm-midnight Karaoke DJ Joe in Beer Tent at North Side of Selvig Park, Harmony Conservation Club Monday, July 4th 7am-9:30am- Pancake Breakfast at Harmony Fire Hall, Harmony Conservation Club NEW TIME 10:30am- Toad Races at the Village Green, BYOT (Bring Your Own Toad) 11am-6pm Food Vendors in Selvig Park Harmony Lions Club Brat & BBQ Stand, Hasleiet Concessions, Fillmore County ADA Malt & Ice Cream Wagon, Fillmore County Pork Producers Pork Burger Stand, Root River Kettle Corn & Stumpys Concessions 11am-1:30pm Smoked Pork Chop Dinner in Selvig Park Picnic Shelter, Harmony United Methodist Church 11am-3pm Balloon Animals & Entertainment by Clown Roundup in Selvig Park Sponsored by RE/MAX Select Properties, Sterling Drug & Estelles Eatery 11am-6pm Rocket Bouncer, Mutiny on the Bouncer & Screamer Slide in Selvig Park Sponsored by the Harmony Area Community Foundation and Oak Meadow Meats. Wristbands for unlimited rides $3 per child or $10 per family Noon-midnight Beer Tent at North Side of Selvig Park, Harmony Conservation Club NEW TIME 11:30am- 6th Annual Hammell Equipment Kiddie Pedal Pull (state sanctioned) In the parking lot behind First Southeast Bank. Kid Power Pedal Tractor Pulls, Registration at 11:30am, Pedal Pull at Noon 2:45- Kiddie Parade- Parade Theme, Independence Day, its a Harmony Thing (Line up in front of Old Ways New Ideas) 3pmGrand Parade, Grand Marshall Vicky Tribon of the Harmony Area Community Foundation & Harmony Trails Commission 4pm-6pm FFA Petting Zoo at Selvig Park, sponsored

by Kingsley Mercantile 4pm-5:30pm Pony Cart Rides & Train Rides at Selvig Park, sponsored by Harmony Telephone Company and Bluff Country Computer Works 4pm7pm Jim Busta Band Featuring Mollie B from RFD-TV Polka at Selvig Park. Sponsored by First Southeast Bank of Harmony & Canton, Harmony Enterprises & the Harmony Park Board. Button Drawings during intermission.

Sponsored by First Southeast Bank, Harmony Enterprises & the Harmony Park Board. In case of inclement weather, concert will be held at Fillmore Central High School. At Dark; Fireworks at North Park sponsored by the City of Harmony, First Southeast Bank

of Harmony & Canton and the Harmony Firemens Relief Association. Presented by the Harmony Volunteer Fire Department. http://www.exploreharmony.com See our website for full event details!

Rochester Honkers vs. Duluth Huskies: 3-Jul, 1:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30. General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child. The Rochester Honkers enter their 23rd season as a member of the Northwoods League, the countrys premier summer collegiate baseball league. Every summer, top collegiate players move to Rochester for an incredible summer experience. Exciting Game Promotions, Fun Entertainment, Delicious Concessions, and the Best Happy Hour in town on the Sports Deck all contribute to a fun-filled, family-oriented experience. Come See the Stars of Tomorrow Shine Today! The Rochester Honkers: Pure Baseball, Pure Fun! Harmony’s 4th of July Celebration: 4-Jul, 7:00 AM, City of Harmony, Selvig Park, Harmony, Free.

God Wants You Well Bible Study: 4-Jul, 6:30 PM, Inspirational Technologies, Inc. Building, 1100 N. 4th Street, Le Sueur, Free. DVD series with Andrew Wommack, healing miracle testimonies, Bible study lessons, discussion, communion, prayer.

Everyone invited. Led by Dorothy Von Lehe.

Contact Dorothy at dvonlehe@mchsi.com or 507-665-6965.

Jane & Mary:Ee’s Next Fabulous Adventure: 5-Jul, All Day, Mantorville Farmers and Artisan Market, Riverside Park, Mantorville, Free. Art and craft supplies.

Period costumes & accessories. Some ‘raw’ materials. Some re-purposed items.

Home decor. ETC. ETC. ETC. Most from the sizeable stashes we have used over the years to create our art. Now you get to sort through it all to find your treasures and inspiration to create your own. Each sale will profile new stuff. For more information, contact us: ejolive@kmtel.com or lambertmarylee@ hotmail.com.

SafetyDirect Launching New Edition of Overshoes & Shoe covers in Footwear Accessories: 5-Jul, 1:00 AM, John Ireland School/Church of St. Peter, 1801 W Broadway, St. Peter, Free. We, SafetyDirect have Introducing the Latest Overshoes & Shoe covers product category in Footwear Accessories in our site safetydirect.ie, Safety Direct assures you complete safety and sustainability at best prices in the market. The footwear products at Safety Direct shield your feet from all kinds of hazardous situations in the work places. Users of Overshoes & Shoe covers are free to walk naturally and at ease feeling confident their customers are more possible to refer their professional customer service to others. An environmentally friendly and cost aware alternative to those currently using disposable shoe covers for each site visit, Overshoes & Shoe covers can easily be cleaned with warm water for years of use. Safety Direct solves the problem of maintenance workers safe and customers happy. Wearing Overshoes & Shoe covers gives your company a more professional look and status and saves you funds and hassles by preventing damage. After the above paragraph you have a little bit of doubt which places you can use this shoe covers, In these fields or places you utilize these overshoes they are Food Processing Industry, Hospitals, Medical, Health Care, Manufacturing Facilities, Science Laboratories, All house work, Painting and decorating, protects footwear, protects flooring e.t.c. Contact SafetyDirect, Ireland, Phone : +35391745150. Weburl : https://www.safetydirect.ie/1168/Overshoesand-Shoecovers.aspx. .

Caregiver Support Group: 5-Jul, 1:30 PM, Elder Network Northgate Shopping Center, 1130 1/2 7th Street NW, Suite 205, Rochester, Free. If you are caring for an older family member, friend or neighbor, this is an opportunity to meet with other caregivers to exchange helpful tips, give and receive support and learn about new resources.

T’ai Chi Chih - Summer Session: 5-Jul, 6:00 PM, Assisi Heights, 1001 14th Street NW, Rochester, $40 . This is an eight session series. Class dates: July 5, 12, 19, 26 and August 2, 9, 16, 23, 2016. Are you in search of peace of mind and improved health? Consider balancing and circulating your intrinsic energy of ‘chi’ as the Chinese call it, in the tranquility of the inner court at Assisi Heights. Begin with the sounds of bells and learn a new set of 19 easy, slow meditative movements practiced by people around the world. It is adaptive to every physical condition, age and requires no special equipment or dress. The rewards include serenity, simple joy and better health.

Other benefits may be physical, spiritual or emotional in nature. Class instructed by Bonnie Sokolov. Cost includes all sessions, Registration Required.

RTC Hal Martin All Comers’ Track Meets: 5-Jul, 6:00 PM, John Marshall High School, 1510 14th Street NW, Rochester, Free. For many years kids in the Rochester area have taken part in the annual Hal Martin All-Comers’ Track Meets. They return this summer for the 46th Annual year. The meets will be held at the John Marshall High School Track starting at 6:00 PM on the following Tuesdays: June 14th*, June 21st, June 28th and July 5th, July 12th. Events range from the 50 meter dash up to a mile event including a long jump event. There is a waiver parents sign the first night their children participate. Come one, come all to this great summer activity for children ages 2 and up. The meets are free and open to the public. See Rochester Track Club Website for more information.

Kids Klub: Live Animal Experience: 5-Jul, 6:00 PM, Scheels, 1220 12th St. SW, Rochester, Free. Date: Tuesday, August 2nd Time: 6:00 pm to 7:00 pm Location: 1220 12th St. SW, Rochester MN Ages: 4-12 Registration: None required Meet in the Training Room upstairs. Join us at Scheels for a Live Animal Experience put on by Oxbow Park.

Rochester Honkers vs. Waterloo Bucks: 5-Jul, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30. General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

Canvas Art Program: 6-Jul, 10:00 AM, New Ulm Public Library, 17 N. Broadway, New Ulm, Free. Children and teens are invited to get creative at a canvas art program with Carolina Koopmans on Wednesday, July 6. Participants ages 7 and up must register for either the 10 a.m. or 1 p.m. session; each lasts 90 minutes. All material is provided.

This event is part of the librarys On Your Mark, Get Set Read! Summer Reading Program. It is made possible by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative with funding from the Arts and Cultural Heritage Fund.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 6-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 .

The Amazing Hoopsters: 6-Jul, 10:30 AM, Watonwan County Library, 125 5th Street South, St. James, Free. An all ages, family-friendly show! This performance is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.

Lakefront Music Festival July 15-16 Lakefront Park, Prior Lake Man, the next time someone tells you that the local Rotary Club is full of stuff shirts and pencil necks, please point them toward the Prior Lake Rotary. These folks have to be the coolest Rotary Club in the world. Rather than raise funds through traditional bake sales, silent auctions and formal balls the Prior Lake Rotary sets up shop on the shore of their town’s namesake, the actual Prior Lake, and presents one of the best run, most organized festivals of the entire summer.

Lakefront has evolved from a party in the park featuring your favorite music from high school to a slick little celebration featuring an outstanding setting, great food (and tons of it), relatively affordable beer and a bill that features bands that are too good to be playing a local, “small town” music fest.

The fest is split into a Rock & Roll Day and a Country Day. On the Rock day, July 15, the performers are the criminally underrated Eric Hutchinson, Waukesha, Wisconsin’s 80’s “College Music” stalwarts the BoDeans, and the somehow-alreadycelebrating-their-twentieth-anniversary O.A.R. Country day on Saturday the 16th brings Lauren Alaina, Love & Theft and the ageless, über-talented Martina McBride. Meanwhile an actual DJ, Generation Now, fills in the gaps between bands, giving the crowd real entertainment from the time the music starts at 5 p.m. right up until it’s time to go home.

Mystic Lake is one of the sponsors of the event, so if you’re going to stay overnight they would love it if you’d book a room at their hotel, and maybe play a couple hands of black jack before you go to bed. They also are working with Dakotah Meadows RV Park. So there’s that option also.

Not only is this one of the best festivals of the summer, it’s also the best value.

Advance tickets are $30 – FOR BOTH NIGHTS. Now, if you show up at the gate without a ticket, it’s $30 for just that night. But advance sales are open right now and run through July 14th, giving you somewhere in the neighborhood of three weeks to scrounge up $30 in couch change.

– – Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@ southernminnscene.com.

Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 6-Jul, 1:00 PM, New Ulm Public Library, 17 N. Broadway, New Ulm, Free.

This make and take canvas art class is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund. This program is for ages 7 and up. (507) 645-8546

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Berne Wood Fired Pizza Summer Concert Series: 6-Jul, 5:00 PM, Zwingli United Church of Christ, 23148 County Highway 24, West Concord, Free. Delicious wood fired pizza will be sold along with a free summer concert series on the beautiful, rural grounds of Zwingli United Church of Christ located 7 miles west of Pine Island and 10 miles north of Kasson. Some picnic tables are provided but bringing lawn chairs is recommended.

Pop, water and ice cream are sold. You may bring your own refreshments including beer

and wine. Visit our website or find us on Facebook. 507-282-8629 Karaoke: 6-Jul, 6:30 PM, American Legion Post 92, 315 First Avenue NW, Rochester, Free. From 6:30 - 10:30 PM every Wednesday!

Sundowners Car Club Meeting: 6-Jul, 7:30 PM, Northfield VFW Post 4393, 516 Division Street, Northfield, Free. Founded in 1992, the Sundowners Car Club is for the car enthusiast that likes special interest vehicles.

Our staff is caring, friendly, and professional.

At L.A. Nails, we are striving for perfection.

We work hard to provide excellent service in a wonderful atmosphere!

We are different! Our pedicure chairs are pipeless, high standard, sterilized equipment that eliminates 99.9% of germs, bacteria, viruses, and fungi.

Voted the best nail salon in Southern MN in 2013, 2014 & 2015.

L.A. NAILS 1500 Clinton Lane Suite E Northfield, MN 55057 (507)-664-2040 Mon-Fri: 9am-8am Saturday: 9am-6pm Sunday: 12pm-5pm A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

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Boston -

8 p.m., July 22

Treasure Island Resort and Casino Usually when I write one of these little blurbs centered around music I’ll put on an album recorded by the band or artist about whom I’m writing. So, Boston is coming to Treasure Island in Red Win on July 22? Okay. I’ll listen to that first Boston album.

Holy Cow. When was the last time you listened to that album? For me, honestly, it’s been probably since before I graduated from high school, which was 29 (NOT 30) years ago. That’s long enough to have forgotten the majesty of their selftitled debut. It’s one of those albums for which the Classic Rock radio format was invented. The thing plays like a Greatest Hits album: “More Than A Feeling,” “Peace of Mind,” “Foreplay/Long Time,” “Rock & Roll Band,” “Smokin’,” “Hitch A Ride,” “Something About You,” and “Let Me Take You Home Tonight.”

Yeah. Not a bad album.

And I’d forgotten how good that band sounded and how far ahead of their time they were. This thing was recorded in

Whether you own one, are building one, or just dreaming of owning one, this is the club for you. You can find us on Facebook.

Franciscan Art Tour: 7-Jul, 6:30 PM, Assisi Heights, 1001 14th Street NW, Rochester, $10 . Visit Assisi Heights’ halls of Franciscan artistry. Our tour will begin with needlepoint

by Mother Alfred Moes and the early Sisters.

Chronologically ordered, we will view oil, watercolor, calligraphy, photography and hand painted musical pieces. All artwork was created during the 139-year history of the Rochester Franciscan Sisters. Registration Required Root River Bluff & Valley Bicycle Tour: 7-Jul, 6:30 PM, Whalan MN Softball Field, 924 Bench St, Whalan, Free. Whalan MN. will be hosting the bikers the evening of July 7th. The Rutabaga Brothers band will provide entertainment for the bikers as well as community members. Food and beverages will be available starting at 5:00 pm. Bring your lawn chairs and expect a great evening of food and entertainment.

Concerts in the Park: 7-Jul, 7:00 PM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free. Gold Star Band Gold Star is a group of six Mankato-area musicians who love playing classic and current country music.

With nearly 200 years of band experience, the band consists of Brenda Kopischke and

Lynda Kiesler on vocals, Howard Mock, Gary Pfeiffer and Frank Howard on guitar, and Brian Jentges on drums. Howard and Brian are members of the MN Music Hall of Fame -- Howard with ‘Sandra Lee and the Velvets,’ and Brian with ‘The Shaw Band.’ Sponsored

by Bug Busters, Inc. Grease: 7-Jul, 7:30 PM, Little Theatre of Owatonna, 560A Dunnell Drive, Owatonna, $10-$14. The musical set in 1959 at fictional Rydell High School that follows ten workingclass teenagers as they navigate the complexities of peer pressure, politics, personal core values, and love. Includes the beloved songs Summer Nights, Greased Lightning and You’re the One That I Want.

Byron Playground Community Build: 8-Jul, 7:00 AM, Byron Intermediate School (Current Elementary), 501 10th Ave NE, Byron, Free. Volunteers Needed! The Byron School District is looking for volunteers to assist in building 1 playground structure at the Intermediate School (current Elementary School) and 2 playground structures at the new Primary School opening this fall.

GameTime Play System is working with the Byron School District to make this a fun and smooth assembly. No construction experience is needed, and all playground structures attach with a simple bolting process, so no fancy tools are needed. Lunch will be provided! Volunteer Registration is

Needed! Register Today! Contact: Shaylene Baumbach at shaylenebaumbach@gmail. com (Subject Line: Community Build) or call 507-993-6038.

Faribault BMX - Big Race Weekend: 8-Jul, 9:00 AM, Faribault BMX, 1010 7th Avenue NW, Faribault, $20-$30. Gold Cup Qualifier $30 State Race Double $20. Big race weekend is July 8-10. This weekend includes our Earned Double Race, our Gold Cup Qualifier Race, the annual Faribault BMX Family Fun Night, a fundraiser breakfast at the Depot Bar & Grill and the State Qualifier Race. 952-215-1249 Emmett Ramstad: After You: 8-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 . . .

Story Time: 8-Jul, 10:30 AM, Historic R.D. Hubbard House, 606 S. Broad St., Mankato, Free. Join Mary Esther Hubbard for a special Story Time on the Lawn of the Historic R. D. Hubbard House. Story Time includes a story and crafts. Story Time is free and open to the public.

Rochester Honkers vs. St. Cloud Rox: 8-Jul, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30. General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child. . . 507-282-8629

Grease: 8-Jul, 7:30 PM, Little Theatre of Owatonna, 560A Dunnell Drive, Owatonna, $10-$14.

Faribault Farmer’s Market: 9-Jul, 7:00 AM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free. Traditional farmer’s market featuring local produce and crafts.

25th Annual Go For The Gold Family Fun Walk/5K Run: 9-Jul, 8:30 AM, Silver Lake Park, 898 7th Street NE, Rochester, $12-$30. Registration: https://www.events. runningroom.com/site/?raceId=13103. Enjoy running or walking around beautiful Silver Lake at the 25th annual Go For The Gold certified 5K, 3K Family Walk and Children’s races. There is a lot of fun including face painting, music, Star Wars characters, balloons, food, drinks and more. Registrants receive a new Techweave race shirt. The race is for the entire family (stroller friendly and pets welcome, if on a leash) and most importantly, 100% of net proceeds benefit Brighter Tomorrows, an outreach to families facing pediatric cancer.

Summer Saturdays at the Museum: 9-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rice County Historical Society, 1814 Second Ave. N.W., Faribault, $3 .

The Rice County Museum of History houses historical displays, a genealogical research center, and an exhibit area. The Museum exhibits include the stories of the Tilt-A-Whirl

1975 and 1976. While the rest of the country was just about to get their Disco groove on, Tom Scholz and Brad Delp were perfecting Arena Rock. Guitarist Scholz, an MIT grad with a degree in electrical engineering is notorious for his perfectionism, and has literally invented gadgets that didn’t previously exist just so he can get the tone he wants on his guitar. The late vocalist Delp had the kind of range that made guys like Steve Perry and Dennis DeYoung jealous.

This album was the blueprint for everyone from REO Speedwagon and Foreigner to Bon Jovi to Kings of Leon. If you’ve ever had the time of your life at a Cheap Trick show at Target Center, thank Boston.

Delp passed away a few years ago, but Scholz is making the rounds this summer to celebrate the 40th anniversary of that album. His meticulous nature means the people he has chosen to play with are the very best. This is going to be one hell of a fun night in Red Wing.

– – Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@southernminnscene.com.

foods! $1.00 and $2.00 cards.

(Sellner Manufacturing), Minnesot’s only 507-282-8629 Heisman Trophy winner, Bruce Smith, Bishop Whipple, Grace McKinstry, and Native AmeriRochester Honkers vs. St. Cloud cans. The museum also displays Main Street Rox: 9-Jul, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. U.S.A., which is a timeline of businesses Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30. General: found in many small towns of Southern Min$8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat nesota. The RCHS also operates the Heritage Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, and Harvest Halls that contain displays of $20 Child. farm and industrial items. In addition there Grease: 9-Jul, 7:30 PM, Little Theatre of are three historic pioneer buildings, which Owatonna, 560A Dunnell Drive, Owatonna, were moved to the museum site from around $10-$14. the county. The buildings are an 1850s log cabin, the Pleasant Valley School organized Becky Schlegel with Kenny Wilson: in 1857, and The Holy Innocents Episcopal 9-Jul, 8:00 PM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Church built in 1869.

Zumbrota, $16-$18. Becky Schlegel has a gift for taking lifes experiences and transBig Race Weekend: 9-Jul, 10:00 AM, forming them into songs that are passionate Faribault BMX, 1010 7th Avenue NW, and unique. Her music is a fusion of folk, Faribault, $20-$30. Gold Cup Qualifier $30 bluegrass and country that is mesmerizing.

State Race Double $20. Big race weekend is Schlegel performs with multi-instrumentalist July 8-10. This weekend includes our Earned Kenny Wilson.

Double Race, our Gold Cup Qualifier Race, the annual Faribault BMX Family Fun Night, a fundraiser breakfast at the Depot Bar & Grill Add your event for and the State Qualifier Race.

FREE to the TIMELINE Emmett Ramstad: After You: 9-Jul, c al e n d a r . G O TO 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic w w w. s o u t h ern Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 . minn . c o mm / s c ene / Bingo: 9-Jul, 1:00 PM, American Legion, c a len d a r & Cli c k + 315 First Avenue NW, Rochester, Free. Bingo A d d a n E v ent 1PM the 2nd and 4th Saturdays of the month.

Kitchen open at 11:00 serving delicious

WEEK of JULY 10-16: Big Race Weekend: 10-Jul, 9:00 AM, Faribault BMX, 1010 7th Avenue NW, Faribault, $20-$30. Gold Cup Qualifier $30 State Race Double $20. Big race weekend is July 8-10. This weekend includes our Earned Double Race, our Gold Cup Qualifier Race, the annual Faribault BMX Family Fun Night, a fundraiser breakfast at the Depot Bar & Grill and the State Qualifier Race. 952-215-1249 Eagle Bluff Skills School: Trout Fly Fishing: 10-Jul, 1:00 PM, Eagle Bluff Environmental Learning Center, 28097 Goodview Dr, Lanesboro, $40 . The class covers cold water stream habitat, why trout live where they live, food sources, aquatic insects and invertebrates, fly fishing gear, casting and presentation. Loaner gear is available upon request or you can use your own. Well visit various types of streams and the fish hatchery. This on-stream instruction in fly fishing will require a Minnesota fishing license with a trout stamp. $40/person http:// www.eagle-bluff-skills-school.org/classes/ trout-fly-fishing-4/ 507-467-2437.

Rochester Honkers Vs. Willmar Stingers: 10-Jul, 1:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30.

General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child. The Rochester Honkers enter their

Now Booking for 2017 Weddings, Reunions, Company Events, Special Events, Retreats and more!

2016 Event Calendar • June 17-18: Project E.A.R.T.H. • July 1-3: Harmony Park 20th Anniversary Show • August 26-28: Gathering of the Guilds: A Midwest Permaculture Gathering • September 8-10: Shangri-la • Oct. 7-8: Oaktoberfest

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Harmony Park Music Garden 507-402-8733 www.harmonypark.com 79503 298th St, Clarks Grove, MN 56016 32

Nominate us for Best Place For Live Music Best Music Festival & Best Campground

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A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

23rd season as a member of the Northwoods League, the countrys premier summer collegiate baseball league. Every summer, top collegiate players move to Rochester for an incredible summer experience. Exciting Game Promotions, Fun Entertainment, Delicious Concessions, and the Best Happy Hour in town on the Sports Deck all contribute to a fun-filled, family-oriented experience. Come See the Stars of Tomorrow Shine Today! The Rochester Honkers: Pure Baseball, Pure Fun! Grease: 10-Jul, 2:00 PM, Little Theatre of Owatonna, 560A Dunnell Drive, Owatonna, $10-$14. The musical set in 1959 at fictional Rydell High School that follows ten workingclass teenagers as they navigate the complexities of peer pressure, politics, personal core values, and love. Includes the beloved songs Summer Nights, Greased Lightning and You’re the One That I Want.

Conversations: Living Well With Chronic Conditions: 11-Jul, 2:00 PM, Elder Network Northgate Shopping Center, 1130 1/2 7th Street NW, Suite 205, Rochester, Free. Support group for adults age 55 and older living with a chronic condition such as high blood pressure, chronic pain, diabetes, COPD, heart disease, arthritis, depression, anxiety, etc.

God Wants You Well Bible Study: 11-Jul, 6:30 PM, Inspirational Technologies, Inc. Building, 1100 N. 4th Street, Le Sueur, Free. DVD series with Andrew Wommack, healing miracle testimonies, Bible study lessons, discussion, communion, prayer.

Everyone invited. Led by Dorothy Von Lehe.

Contact Dorothy at dvonlehe@mchsi.com or 507-665-6965 Rochester Honkers vs. Willmar Stingers: 11-Jul, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30.

General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 12-Jul, 10:30 AM, St. Peter Public Library, 601 S Washington Ave, St. Peter, Free. This make and take canvas art class is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund. This program is for ages 5-10 years old.

RTC Hal Martin All Comers’ Track Meets: 12-Jul, 6:00 PM, John Marshall High School, 1510 14th Street NW, Rochester, Free. For many years kids in the Rochester area have taken part in the annual Hal Martin All-Comers’ Track Meets. They return this summer for the 46th Annual year.

The meets will be held at the John Marshall High School Track starting at 6:00 PM on the following Tuesdays: June 14th*, June 21st, June 28th and July 5th, July 12th. Events range from the 50 meter dash up to a mile event including a long jump event. There is a waiver parents sign the first night their children participate. Come one, come all to

this great summer activity for children ages 2 and up. The meets are free and open to the public. See Rochester Track Club Website for more information.

Sacred the Land, Sacred the Earth!: 12-Jul, 6:30 PM, Assisi Heights, 1001 14th Street NW, Rochester, Free. Come and explore the 60-year old history of this precious piece of earth held sacred by our Franciscan values and beliefs. Walk on the cusp on the oak savannah, prairies and caves, which lie beside native lands.

‘Buddy & Beyond: The History of Rock ‘n Roll’: 12-Jul, 7:00 PM, State Theater, 96 E 4th St, Zumbrota, $24-$29. Johnny Rogers will transport his audience back in time when you could go to your favorite malt shops with your favorite girl and dance to your favorite bands. Buddy & Beyond: The History of Rock n Roll is a tribute to the music of the legends of rock n roll.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 13-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 . After You is the first exhibition in Rochester Art Center’s 2016 3rd Floor Emerging Artist Series, featuring new sculpture and installation-based work by Emmett Ramstad, a Minneapolis-based artist.

The sculptures in the exhibition originate from familiar bathroom features such as towel dispensers, soap dishes, bathroom stalls, and restroom insignia. Together they form extra-ordinary pieces that distort the scale and function of bathroom surroundings and ask the viewer to reconsider their public grooming associations, as well as constructions of cleanliness.

The Amazing Hoopsters: 13-Jul, 10:30 AM, St. Peter Public Library, 601 S Washington Ave, St. Peter, Free. An all ages, family-friendly show! This performance is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund. 507-282-8629 Summer Reading Olympic Games: 13-Jul, 1:00 PM, New Ulm Public Library, 17 N. Broadway, New Ulm, Free. All children and teens up to age 18 are invited to participate in the exciting Summer Reading Olympic Games on Wednesday, July 13 from 1-3 p.m. at New Ulm Public Library. Test your skills at archery, track and field, monster bowling, and more. This event is part of the librarys On Your Mark, Get Set Read! Summer Reading Program.

The Amazing Hoopsters: 13-Jul, 2:00 PM, Gibbon Community Center, 985 1st Ave, Gibbon, Free. An all ages, familyfriendly show! This performance is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.

Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 13-Jul, 2:00 PM, Waterville Public Library, 210 E Paquin Street, Waterville, Free.

Berne Wood Fired Pizza Summer Concert Series: 13-Jul, 5:00 PM, Zwingli United Church of Christ, 23148 County Highway 24, West Concord, Free. Delicious wood fired pizza will be sold along with a free summer concert series on the beautiful, rural grounds of Zwingli United Church of Christ located 7 miles west of Pine Island and 10 miles north of Kasson. Some picnic tables are provided but bringing lawn chairs is recommended. Pop, water and ice cream are sold. You may bring your own refreshments including beer and wine. Visit our website or find us on Facebook.

Karaoke: 13-Jul, 6:30 PM, American Legion Post 92, 315 First Avenue NW, Rochester, Free. From 6:30 - 10:30 PM every Wednesday!

Stories in Stone - An Architectural Tour: 13-Jul, 6:30 PM, Assisi Heights, 1001 14th Street NW, Rochester, $10 . Assisi Heights has stories engraved on its walls.

But many more anecdotes tell the stories that chronicle the history hidden behind the walls. Come to see some of the architectural features up close, learn about the aesthetic design aspects and a few often overlooked artistic features. Hear stories ‘imbedded’ in these stones to unravel the mystic nature of Assisi Heights. Please wear walking shoes.

Registration Required.

Rochester Honkers vs. Waterloo Bucks: 13-Jul, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30. General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

Learning in Retirement: 14-Jul, 10:00 AM, Minnesota Marine Art Museum, 800 Riverview Dr, Winona, $110 . Winona Beethoven Festival at the MMAM After a delicious dinner at the Green Mill in Winona, enjoy the music of Michala Petri and Lars Hannibal at the Minnesota Marine Art Museum. Conversation, companionship and communication these are the key words in their universe. Petri is considered one of the worlds most supreme instrumentalists, while Hannibals wide experience from various ensembles enables him to create both harmony and contrast; together they form a synthesis that attracts attention worldwide.

(5070 345-5120 Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 14-Jul, 10:30 AM, North Mankato Taylor Library, 1001 Belgrade Ave., North Mankato, Free.

(5070 345-5120 The Adventures of Juan Bobo: 14-Jul, 5:30 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 West 3rd Street, Red Wing, Free. The world is upside down in The Adventures of Juan Boboand he is going to do something to turn it right side up! Inspired by Puerto Rican folk stories, the show combines puppetry, music, Spanish and English in a delightful tale of riddles, silly devils, a missing pig and a village in need of a hero. This summer we welcome critically acclaimed, nationally recognized

503 DIVISION STREET NORTHFIELD 507-645-6691

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Open Eye Figure Theatres famous Driveway Tour to Red Wing. Hosted under the porte cochere in the courtyard on the west side of the Sheldon (our unique, historic driveway), the three puppet picnic events intentionally reach outside the walls of the theater for summer outdoor fun. Food, a participatory puppet making activity provided by Art Reach, and pre-show live music will round out the event to create a casual space for renewing old and building new social connections across generations. Performances will be free, with a pass the hat opportunity for attendees to contribute as able. Audiences can catch all three unique 45 minute puppet shows monthly, June through August, on the following Thursday evenings: Molly and the Magic Boot -Thursday, June 16, 2016; The Adventures of Juan Bobo -Thursday, July 14, 2016; and Adventures of Katie Tomatie -Thursday August 18, 2016. 651-388-8700 Songs of Hope: 14-Jul, 7:00 PM, State Theater, 96 E 4th St, Zumbrota, Free. Songs of Hope showcases music from the homelands of children from around the world, who come together to learn each others’ music before setting out on tour. Crossings and the Zumbrota Area Arts Council are sponsoring the performance.

Concerts in the Park: 14-Jul, 7:00 PM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free. New Prague Community Band Performing since 1996, the band performs traditional concert music and is made up of trained musicians from New Prague and the surrounding area. Sponsored by Affinity Plus Credit Union and Marilyn M. Anderson.

Rochester Honkers vs. Kalamazoo Growlers: 14-Jul, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30.

General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

Grease: 14-Jul, 7:30 PM, Little Theatre of Owatonna, 560A Dunnell Drive, Owatonna, $10-$14.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 15-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 . . .

Tuey Wilson, Comic Stunt Juggler: 15-Jul, 10:30 AM, Buckham Memorial Library, 11 Division St. E., Faribault, Free.

Its Faribaults own amazing Tuey the juggler.

From classic juggling stunts to brand-new tricks, Tueys show is not to be missed. Come laugh, gasp, and cheer on this Guinness Book of World Records Holder and longtime library favorite.

Story Time: 15-Jul, 10:30 AM, Historic R.D. Hubbard House, 606 S. Broad St., Mankato, Free. Join Mary Esther Hubbard for a special Story Time on the Lawn of the Historic R. D. Hubbard House. Story Time includes a story and crafts. Story Time is free and open to the public Tuey Wilson, Comic Stunt Juggler: 15-Jul, 1:30 PM, Buckham Memorial Library, 11 Division St. E., Faribault, Free.

507-384-3291

The Harmony Park 20 Year Anniversary July 2-4 Harmony Park Campground On Lake Geneva in Clark’s Grove Harmony Park is one of the favored venues for outdoor festivals in Southern Minnesota. The location and landscape are absolutely perfect for music events and owners Jay and Amie Sullivan have set up permanent stages for that very reason.

They tell you right on their website that they want Harmony Park to be the premier outdoor, special events venue in Southern Minnesota. In a lot of SoMinn minds, that’s exactly what Harmony is.

To celebrate their 20th anniversary this summer, they are throwing themselves a pretty good birthday party. The big festival is July 3, with a pre-part on July 2. This means you can have yourself a spectacular time with incredible music for two days over the holiday weekend and then take the 4th to recuperate.

How spectacular is the music? Well, the announced performers include in-demand Grateful Dead tribute artists Stu Allen & Mars Hotel, Minnesota old time bluegrass string wizards Pert Near Sandstone, Javier Trejo & The Barrio Boys, Wallace Hartley & The Titanics, Kind Country, Dead Larry and a couple of “supergroups” that include members of the Big Wu, Nicholas David and Maxaphone and Friends.

The pre-party looks as good as the main event, as it will feature a long list of performers including Frogleg, Shoeless Revolution and Super Duty featuring former Big Wu guitarist Jason Fladager.

On top of that, they’re offering The Jones Gang on the 1st for all the people who want to do the early camping thing, and why wouldn’t you? Harmony Park is all about camping. In fact all these great festivals wouldn’t have happened in the first place if Harmony wasn’t one of the premier camp grounds in Southern Minnesota. This is going to be a great time for everyone, whether you have Harmony memories from every one of the last 20 years or if this is your first time.

– – Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@ southernminnscene.com.

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• Small class sizes • Personalized attention • Expert instruction from accomplished faculty

• Associate of Fine Arts in Visual Arts

www.southcentral.edu Faribault: (507) 332-5800 | North Mankato: (507) 389-7200 | admissions@southcentral.edu A member of the Minnesota State Colleges and Universities System. South Central College is an Equal Opportunity Employer and Educator and has ADA accessible facilities.

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Diana Ross -

8 p.m., July 23

Treasure Island Resort and Casino, Red Wing Well, we for sure know who Treasure Island is trying to attract these days.

In the over the course of a year, they will either feature, or already have featured, REO Speedwagon, Peter Frampton, Boston, The Moody Blues and Aretha Franklin.

So, if you’re over fifty, they want to be your go-to place for live entertainment.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, by the way. Yes, I’m sure some of you Millennials are going to have to text your parents and ask who some of these people are. Do it. It will be well worth your time.

Keeping with the theme, Treasure Island will present the one and only Diana Ross on July 23.

Diana Ross, baby. The original Soul Diva. The voice of The Supremes. The Queen of Motown. Her sexiness paved the way for women like Madonna. Her voice inspired people like Celine Dion. Her style inspired a generation and launched thousands of drag careers across the world.

Billboard named her the Female Entertainer of the Century.

Summer Free Friday Concerts!: 15-Jul, 5:00 PM, Rochester Civic Theatre, 20 Civic Center Dr SE, Rochester, Free. The Rochester Civic Theatre is delighted to announce the return of its Summer @ The Civic Patio Concert Series. On select Friday nights in June and July, enjoy free live music and fresh food available for purchase. Bands will play from 5:00 to 7:00 pm, and again from 9:00 to 10:00 pm. Food will be available from 5:00 to 7:00 pm, and the Patio Bar will be open from 5:00 to 10:00 pm. We welcome the following acts to our Patio Stage this summer: June 10 LP & the 45s June 17 Swing Street June 24 Annie Mack July 15 KnuFunk July 22 Dianna Parks July 29 LP & the 45s All ages are welcome. Be sure to wear your dancing shoes -- and we’ll see you @ The Civic!

Please visit our website for more information: www.RochesterCivicTheatre.org.

Faribault Car Cruise Night: 15-Jul, 6:00 PM, Downtown Faribault, Minnesota, 128 Central Avenue, Faribault, Free. Join in the fun of the Faribault Car Cruise Night with a great selection of vehicles to view, live DJ, and more!

Historic Faribault Pub Crawl: 15-Jul, 6:30 PM, Historic Hutchinson House B&B, 305 2nd Street NW, Faribault, Free. Faribault Historic Pub Crawl Series will be held on Friday nights, June 17, July 1 and July 22, at 6:00 pm. (Private tour dates available upon request.) Were bringing people who love history together with B&Bs (beer & bars) .

. . its a new way to appreciate both. Join us on an enjoyable stroll through Faribaults Original Town Neighborhood, featuring a variety of homes dating back to the 1860s.

Well make several stops along the way including Grampa Als, one of the longestoperating bars retaining its original liquor license issued after the repeal of the Volstead Act. We will also visit F-Town Brewing Co., one of Minnesota’s newest breweries, as well several other stops in Faribault’s Historic Downtown District. Each venue we visit has a history and a story and we hope to highlight those stories over a few pints. Overnight stay required at the Historic Hutchinson House B&B. Drinks not included.

Rochester Honkers vs. Kalamazoo Growlers: 15-Jul, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30.

General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child. . .

Grease: 15-Jul, 7:30 PM, Little Theatre of Owatonna, 560A Dunnell Drive, Owatonna, $10-$14. 507-282-8629 LeRoy Community Pool 5K Run/ Walk Benefit: 15-Jul, 8:00 PM, LeRoy Community Pool 5K Run/Walk Benefit, 406 West Main Street, LeRoy, $25 . 11th Annual Cardinal Man 5K Run/Walk to benefit the LeRoy Community Pool. 8 p.m. on Friday, July 15, 2016. $25 registration - includes t-shirt & glow sticks. Race Day registration is 7-8 p.m. at the entrance to the LeRoy Community

Pool. Pre-registration please contact Elaine at 507-440-0674 or memills@frontiernet. net. Website: leroypool.weebly.com - Special Events.. . 507-282-8481 Bill and Kate Isles Band: 15-Jul, 8:00 PM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, $16-$19. Bill and Kate Isles voices were made to be together, as they themselves were, and this perfect pairing in life and music makes them a folk singing-songwriting couple not to be missed. They perform as the Bill and Kate Isles Band with two backing musicians.

Frozen (Walt Disney Pictures): 15-Jul, 8:30 PM, Faribault Family Aquatic Center, 15 Division St. W, Faribault, Free. When their kingdom becomes trapped in perpetual winter, fearless Anna (Kristen Bell) joins forces with mountaineer Kristoff (Jonathan Groff) and his reindeer sidekick to find Anna’s sister, Snow Queen Elsa (Idina Menzel), and break her icy spell. Although their epic journey leads them to encounters with mystical trolls, a comedic snowman (Josh Gad), harsh conditions, and magic at every turn, Anna and Kristoff bravely push onward in a race to save their kingdom from winter’s cold grip.

Free Outdoor Family Movie: 15-Jul, 9:00 PM, Byron City Hall - Hillside Lawn, 680 Byron Main Ct NE, Byron, Free. The Byron Good Neighbor Days Committee is sponsoring 3 Outdoor Family movies over the summer. Come enjoy blockbuster movies

under the stars on the side lawn of the Byron City Hall - all at no charge...and don’t forget to bring a blanket or chairs. Start times are approximate as the movie will begin at Dusk.

Local non-profits will be offering some concessions.

Faribault Farmer’s Market: 16-Jul, 7:00 AM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free. Traditional farmer’s market featuring local produce and crafts 2016 Living History Fair: 16-Jul, 9:00 AM, History Center of Olmsted County, 1195 W. Circle Drive, Rochester, $8 for adults; ages 6-12 is $5; ages 5 & under is free. A weekend of 1800s interactive events. Bring the whole family for an exciting and educational weekend. Civil War encampments and battle re-enactments, new exhibits in the museum, 1850s and 1860s historic buildings tours and living history, vintage baseball games, demonstrations, vendors.

Summer Saturdays at the Museum: 16-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rice County Historical Society, 1814 Second Ave. N.W., Faribault, $3 . The Rice County Museum of History houses historical displays, a genealogical research center, and an exhibit area. The Museum exhibits include the stories of the Tilt-A-Whirl (Sellner Manufacturing), Minnesot’s only Heisman Trophy winner, Bruce Smith, Bishop Whipple, Grace McKinstry, and Native Americans. The museum also displays Main Street U.S.A., which is a

timeline of businesses found in many small towns of Southern Minnesota. The RCHS also operates the Heritage and Harvest Halls that contain displays of farm and industrial items. In addition there are three historic pioneer buildings, which were moved to the museum site from around the county.

The buildings are an 1850s log cabin, the Pleasant Valley School organized in 1857, and The Holy Innocents Episcopal Church built in 1869.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 16-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 .

Stories in Stone - An Architectural Tour: 16-Jul, 10:00 AM, Assisi Heights, 1001 14th Street NW, Rochester, $10 . Assisi Heights has stories engraved on its walls.

But many more anecdotes tell the stories that chronicle the history hidden behind the walls. Come to see some of the architectural features up close, learn about the aesthetic design aspects and a few often overlooked artistic features. Hear stories ‘imbedded’ in these stones to unravel the mystic nature of Assisi Heights. Please wear walking shoes.

Registration Required. 507-282-8629 Rochester Honkers vs. La Crosse Loggers: 16-Jul, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30.

General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

The Guinness Book of World Records named her The Most Successful Female Singer of All Time. Michael Jackson saw her as his second mother.

Okay, again, for the Millennials, remember when you were twelve and watched that movie Dreamgirls? The character played by Beyoncé was based on Diana Ross.

There really is no overstating her place in music history.

She was the first true female rock star, and most of that was because she could sing like nobody else. As an African American, she was one of the first to crossover to what had been traditionally white radio. She’s in the Songwriters Hall of Fame and the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and I’m not sure that she even knows how many Grammy Awards she’s won.

Now at 72, she still has some really impressive pipes and is one of the most generous and grateful performers you’ll ever go to see.

Diana Ross, man. That’ll be fun.

– – Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@southernminnscene.com.

Grease: 16-Jul, 7:30 PM, Little Theatre of Owatonna, 560A Dunnell Drive, Owatonna, $10-$14.

Add your event for FREE to the TIMELINE c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ern minn . c o mm / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

WEEK of JULY 17-23: 2016 Living History Fair: 17-Jul, 9:00 AM, History Center of Olmsted County, 1195 W. Circle Drive, Rochester, $8 for adults; ages 6-12 is $5; ages 5 & under is free. A weekend of 1800s interactive events. Bring the whole family for an exciting and educational weekend. Civil War encampments and battle re-enactments, new exhibits in the museum, 1850s and 1860s historic buildings tours and living history, vintage baseball games, demonstrations, vendors.

Grease: 17-Jul, 2:00 PM, Little Theatre of Owatonna, 560A Dunnell Drive, Owatonna, $10-$14.

Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 18-Jul, 1:00 PM, Winthrop Public

Library, 302 North Main Street, Winthrop, Free. This make and take canvas art class is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund. This event is for ages 5-13 years old.

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 18-Jul, 1:30 PM, Le Center Public Library, 10 West Tyrone Street, Le Center, Free. An all ages, family-friendly magic show event! This make and take canvas art class is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 18-Jul, 4:30 PM, Janesville Public Library, 102 West Second Street, Janesville, Free.

God Wants You Well Bible Study: 18-Jul, 6:30 PM, Inspirational Technologies, Inc. Building, 1100 N. 4th Street, Le Sueur, Free. DVD series with Andrew Wommack, healing miracle testimonies, Bible study lessons, discussion, communion, prayer.

Everyone invited. Led by Dorothy Von Lehe.

Contact Dorothy at dvonlehe@mchsi.com or 507-665-6965.

Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 18-Jul, 6:30 PM, Wells Community Center, 189 2nd Street SE, Wells, Free. This

WHISKEY RIVER 34166 State Hwy 99 - St. Peter, MN

Sunday Brunch 507-934-5600 Serving 9am -2pm

Vetter Stone AmphitheAter

July 9

Tickets available at the Verizon Center Box Office, by phone at 800-745-3000 or online at ticketmaster.com

Menu changes weekly

Omelets Made to Order Belgian Waffles

Chocolate Fountain

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Vintage Band Festival -

July 27-31

Mostly in and around Northfield, other events in Faribault, Owatonna and Red Wing I’ve written often in this space about the Mid West Music Festival, marveling at the size, scope and ambition of Winona’s annual spring party.

If we’re going to be fair and balanced in SouthernMinn Scene (something we actually do strive for), then we should probably devote an entire issue to the Vintage Band Festival, which will happen on the last four days of July.

The festival, held every third year, brings brass bands of all sizes together from across the world. This year there are bands representing Germany, Belgium and Sweden, as well as bands from Florida, Iowa Kentucky, Illinois, Indiana, Wiscinsin and, of course, Minnesota. The thirty or so groups will play concerts in parks, churches, community centers, bars and restaurants spread throughout Northfield, with event also planned in Owatonna, Red Wing and Faribault.

Each band focuses on a specific time in history or a specific tradition in music. You’ll have 1940’s style swing bands, another focusing on Hispanic music, and several playing Civil War era music, which was really the beginning of brass as popular music. make and take canvas art class is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund. This event is for elementary aged kids.

Rice County Fair: 19-Jul, 7:00 AM, Rice County Fairgrounds, 1814 2nd Ave NW, Faribault, Free. Grandstand entertainment, demolition derby, horse show, senior day, beer garden, midway, kids activities and much, much, more!

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 19-Jul, 10:30 AM, Springfield Public Library, 120 North Cass Ave, Springfield, Free. An all ages, family-friendly magic show event! This magic show is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.

The Amazing Hoopsters: 19-Jul, 1:00 PM, Martin County Library, 110 North Park Street, Fairmont, Free.

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 19-Jul, 2:00 PM, Gaylord Public Library, 428 Main Avenue, Gaylord, Free.

Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 19-Jul, 3:00 PM, Muir Library, 36 Main Street, Winnebago, Free.

Rice County Fair: 20-Jul, 7:00 AM, Rice County Fairgrounds, 1814 2nd Ave NW, Faribault, Free. Grandstand entertainment,

demolition derby, horse show, senior day, beer garden, midway, kids activities and much, much, more!

Caregiver Support Group: 20-Jul, 10:00 AM, Elder Network Northgate Shopping Center, 1130 1/2 7th Street NW, Suite 205, Rochester, Free. If you are caring for an older family member, friend or neighbor, heres an opportunity to meet with other caregivers to exchange helpful tips, give and receive support and learn about new resources.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 20-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 . After You is the first exhibition in Rochester Art Center’s 2016 3rd Floor Emerging Artist Series, featuring new sculpture and installation-based work by Emmett Ramstad, a Minneapolis-based artist.

The sculptures in the exhibition originate from familiar bathroom features such as towel dispensers, soap dishes, bathroom stalls, and restroom insignia. Together they form extra-ordinary pieces that distort the scale and function of bathroom surroundings and ask the viewer to reconsider their public grooming associations, as well as constructions of cleanliness.

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 20-Jul, 10:00 AM, Wells Public Library, 54 First Street SE, Wells, Free.

Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 20-Jul, 1:00 PM, Janesville Public Library, 102 West Second Street, Janesville, Free.

507-282-8629

Let us help you

plan the

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 20-Jul, 2:00 PM, Waldorf Community Center, 119 South Main Street, Waldorf, Free.

Berne Wood Fired Pizza Summer Concert Series: 20-Jul, 5:00 PM, Zwingli United Church of Christ, 23148 County Highway 24, West Concord, Free. Delicious wood fired pizza will be sold along with a free summer concert series on the beautiful, rural grounds of Zwingli United Church of Christ located 7 miles west of Pine Island and 10 miles north of Kasson. Some picnic tables are provided but bringing lawn chairs is recommended. Pop, water and ice cream are sold. You may bring your own refreshments including beer and wine. Visit our website or find us on Facebook.

Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 20-Jul, 5:30 PM, Elysian Public Library, 202 East Main Street, Elysian, Free.

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 20-Jul, 6:00 PM, Lewisville Public Library, 129 Lewis Street, Lewisville, Free.

Karaoke: 20-Jul, 6:30 PM, American Legion Post 92, 315 First Avenue NW, Rochester, Free. From 6:30 - 10:30 PM every Wednesday!

Rice County Fair: 21-Jul, 7:00 AM, Rice County Fairgrounds, 1814 2nd Ave NW, Faribault, Free.

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 21-Jul, 11:00 AM, Waterville Public Library, 210 E Paquin Street, Waterville, Free.

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 21-Jul, 3:00

This is the 10th anniversary of the Vintage Band Festival. Artistic Director and festival founder Paul Niemisto spends tireless hours working to bring the best quality bands he can find representing different styles and eras. The criteria he and his board use to determine who plays rest on some very high standards. These aren’t anything like your grandpa’s Oompah Band coming to Southern Minnesota. These are devoted musicians and historians committed to presenting this music as authentically as possible. They’re costumes and uniforms are directly tied to the music. Some play restored instruments that are nearly 200 years old. They are serious about their craft and present it with respect and reverence.

So get to Northfield for the last weekend in July. Stroll along the sidewalks and through the parks and stop to hear music that isn’t just wonderful, but an important piece of our history as well.

– – Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@southernminnscene.com.

Dazzling Dave Schulte is a professional yoyo performer and highly acclaimed champion who has circled the globe since 1998, thrilling audiences everywhere with his tricks and tips, all designed to entertain, educate, and illuminate the beauty of the growing sport of professional yo-yo.. .

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 22-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 . . .

Story Time: 22-Jul, 10:30 AM, Historic R.D. Hubbard House, 606 S. Broad St., Mankato, Free. Join Mary Esther Hubbard for a special Story Time on the Lawn of the Historic R. D. Hubbard House. Story Time includes a story and crafts. Story Time is free and open to the public.

Dazzling Dave/National Yo-Yo Champion: 22-Jul, 1:30 PM, Buckham Memorial Library, 11 Division St. E., Faribault, Free.

Summer Free Friday Concerts!: 22-Jul, 5:00 PM, Rochester Civic Theatre, 20 Civic Center Dr SE, Rochester, Free. The Rochester Civic Theatre is delighted to announce the return of its Summer @ The Civic Patio Concert Series. On select Friday nights in June and July, enjoy free live music and fresh food available for purchase. Bands will play from 5:00 to 7:00 pm, and again from 9:00 to 10:00 pm. Food will be available from 5:00 to 7:00 pm, and the Patio Bar will be open from 5:00 to 10:00 pm. We welcome the following acts to our Patio Stage this summer: June 10 LP & the 45s June 17 Swing Street June 24 Annie Mack July 15 KnuFunk July 22 Dianna Parks July 29 LP & the

PM, New Richland Public Library, 129 South Broadway, New Richland, Free.

Concerts in the Park: 21-Jul, 7:00 PM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free. Owatonna Community Band Owatonna has one of our regions top community bands.

The ensemble, formed in 1979, has been able to attract many area music teachers as players. Music is many of the top pieces in the concert band repertoire. Sponsored by Jane Voit, Roy & Bobbi Anderson, American Legion Post 43 651-388-8700 Hairspray: 21-Jul, 7:30 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 West 3rd Street, Red Wing, $10-$20. The Sheldon Theatre presents a Phoenix Theatre production of Hairspray.

Hairspray, winner of 8 Tony Awards including Best Musical, is a family-friendly rock and roll musical piled bouffant high with laughter, romance, and deliriously tuneful songs. It’s 1962 in Baltimore, and the lovable plus-size teen Tracy Turnblad has only one desire -- to dance on the popular Corny Collins Show. When her dream comes true, Tracy is transformed from social outcast to sudden star. She must use her newfound power to dethrone the reigning Teen Queen, win the affections of heartthrob Link Larkin, and integrate a TV network, all without denting her ‘do!

Rice County Fair: 22-Jul, 7:00 AM, Rice County Fairgrounds, 1814 2nd Ave NW, Faribault, Free.

Dazzling Dave/National Yo-Yo Champion: 22-Jul, 10:00 AM, Buckham Memorial Library, 11 Division St. E., Faribault, Free.

perfect

45s All ages are welcome. Be sure to wear your dancing shoes -- and we’ll see you @ The Civic! Please visit our website for more information: www.RochesterCivicTheatre.org.

651-388-8700 Tonic Sol Fa: 22-Jul, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $12-$25. $20Members/$25 Non-Members/$12 Students. The renowned acapella trio, Tonic Sol Fa, returns to the Paradise. With passionate performances, warm stage presence, and a new CD. 507-282-8629 Hairspray: 22-Jul, 7:30 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 West 3rd Street, Red Wing, $10-$20. 507-282-8481 Danny Schmidt: 22-Jul, 8:00 PM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, $16-$18.

Named to the Chicago Tribune’s 50 Most Significant Songwriters in the Last 50 Years, Austin, Texas-based singer/songwriter Danny Schmidt has amassed a cult following for his stunningly poetic, poignant imagery. Schmidt performs with just his voice, acoustic guitar, and acute commentary. Tickets available at www.crossingsatcarnegie.com or call 507-732-7616.

Movies Under the Stars: 22-Jul, 9:00 PM, History Center of Olmsted County, 1195 West Circle Drive SW, Rochester, $5 for adults (13&Up); Senior Citizens (65+) and children (0-12) are free. Join us for family friendly outdoor movies on the History Center grounds Fridays in the summer. Some pre-movie events will be available; see the individual event page for more information.

Films begin at dusk (the exact time will change over the summer, as sundown times change with the season.) As a non-profit these programs are only possible with the support of the community! If you would like to sponsor Movie Under the Stars in 2016, call the History Center of Olmsted County at 282-9447 or e-mail programs@ olmstedhistory.com.

Rice County Fair: 23-Jul, 7:00 AM, Rice County Fairgrounds, 1814 2nd Ave NW, Faribault, Free.

Faribault Farmer’s Market: 23-Jul, 7:00 AM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free. Traditional farmer’s market featuring local produce and crafts.

Hosanna’s Pantry: 23-Jul, 9:00 AM, Hosanna Lutheran Church, 2815 57th St NW, Rochester, Free. Hosanna’s Pantry is a satellite food shelf of Channel One food bank in Rochester. A photo ID is required. Coffee and treats are served while you wait to shop.

Summer Saturdays at the Museum: 23-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rice County Historical Society, 1814 Second Ave. N.W., Faribault, $3 . The Rice County Museum of History houses historical displays, a genealogical research center, and an exhibit area. The Museum exhibits include the stories of the Tilt-A-Whirl (Sellner Manufacturing), Minnesot’s only Heisman Trophy winner, Bruce Smith, Bishop Whipple, Grace McKinstry, and Native Americans. The museum also displays Main Street U.S.A., which is a timeline of businesses found in many small towns of Southern Minnesota. The RCHS

family get-away!

$2 OFF Per wristband for groups over 10 *Discounts cannot be combined with other offers

2365 43rd Street • Owatonna 507-446-8900 Exit 45, next to Cabela’s www.holidayinn.com

• Serengeti Water Park • Many Nearby Attractions • Holiday Inn Kids Eat Free Program (12 years and under) • Awesome Family environment • Meetings & Receptions up to 250

Monday-Thursday Friday 6:00am-11:00pm 6:00am-1:00am Saturday Sunday 6:30am-1:00am 6:30am-11:00pm

Dine-In or Take-Out Located inside the Holiday Inn

2365 43rd Street, Owatonna 507-446-8900 Exit 45, next to Cabela’s www.holidayinn.com 36

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Good friends.

Good food.

Good times!

A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

also operates the Heritage and Harvest Halls that contain displays of farm and industrial items. In addition there are three historic pioneer buildings, which were moved to the museum site from around the county. The buildings are an 1850s log cabin, the Pleasant Valley School organized in 1857, and The Holy Innocents Episcopal Church built in 1869.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 23-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 .

Bingo: 23-Jul, 1:00 PM, American Legion, 315 First Avenue NW, Rochester, Free. Bingo 1PM the 2nd and 4th Saturdays of the month. Kitchen open at 11:00 serving delicious foods! $1.00 and $2.00 cards.

651-388-8700 Jivin’ Ivan and The Kings of Swing: 23-Jul, 7:30 PM, Signature Bar and Grill, 201 Central Ave N, Faribault, Free. The dance floor is open, the drinks are cold and the food is hot.. so is the band.

Get your Swing on with the Kings of Swing.

Hairspray: 23-Jul, 7:30 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 West 3rd Street, Red Wing, $10-$20.

507-282-8629 The Music and Magic of Patsy Cline: 23-Jul, 8:00 PM, State Theater, 96 E 4th St, Zumbrota, $18-$20. Tribute by Cassie and the Bobs. Fans of that early Nashville sound wont want to miss Cassie Wiesners powerful portrayal of Patsy Cline, which takes audiences on a trip down memory lane as she sings Crazy, Walkin After Midnight, I Fall To Pieces, and many more of the songs that made Cline famous and admired.

Add your event for FREE to the TIMELINE c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ern minn . c o mm / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

WEEK of JULY 24-31: Rice County Fair: 24-Jul, 7:00 AM, Rice County Fairgrounds, 1814 2nd Ave NW, Faribault, Free.

Grandstand entertainment, demolition derby, horse show, senior day, beer garden, midway, kids activities and much, much, more!

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 25-Jul, 10:00 AM, Le Sueur Public Library, 118 East Ferry Street, Le Sueur, Free. An all ages, family-friendly magic show event! This magic show is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 25-Jul, 1:00 PM, Waseca Public Library, 408 North State Street, Waseca, Free.

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 26-Jul, 2:00

PM, Hanska Public Library, 201 West Broadway, Hanska, Free.

Time Trader Orientation: 25-Jul, 5:30 PM, Rochester Area Family YMCA, 709 1st Avenue SW, Rochester, Free. We have group orientations the 4th Monday of the month at 5:30p.m. at Rochester Family YMCA. Time Trader is an organized exchange network through which members earn Time Credits (TC) for time spent helping other members. One hour of service earns one TC. With TC, members can buy services they want or need.

For example, if you give one hour of childcare, you can receive one hour of painting, accounting, transportation assistance, or a piano lesson, and the list goes on...

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 25-Jul, 6:00 PM, Butterfield Public Library, 111 North 2nd Street, Butterfield, Free.

God Wants You Well Bible Study: 25-Jul, 6:30 PM, Inspirational Technologies, Inc. Building, 1100 N. 4th Street, Le Sueur, Free. DVD series with Andrew Wommack, healing miracle testimonies, Bible study lessons, discussion, communion, prayer. Everyone invited. Led by Dorothy Von Lehe. Contact Dorothy at dvonlehe@mchsi. com or 507-665-6965.

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 26-Jul, 10:00 AM, New Ulm Public Library, 17 N. Broadway, New Ulm, Free.

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 26-Jul, 10:00 AM, New Ulm Public Library, 17 N. Broadway, New Ulm, Free.

Kids’ Camp Pets: 26-Jul, 6:00 PM, Hope Summit Christian Church, 1315 6th Ave SE, Rochester, Free. What: Join us this July for Kids Camp 2016, the BIGGEST just for kids event of the summer! Kids Camp is packed with wild and crazy games, cool music, prizes, lots of fun and its FREE! Your kids wont want to miss it! Who: Kids ages 4 through those going into 6th grade Cost: FREE--kids t-shirt included! Where: Hope Summit Christian Church 1315 6th Ave SE Rochester, MN 55904 When: July 26-28th, 6:00-8:15pm Phone Number: 507-288-3293 Website: www.hopesummitchurch.com Register your kids at www. hopesummitchurch.com or register on-site the day of! **There will be no live animals at this event**.

Rochester Honkers vs. La Crosse Loggers: 26-Jul, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30. General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child. The Rochester Honkers enter their 23rd season as a member of the Northwoods League, the countrys premier summer collegiate baseball league. Every summer, top collegiate players move to Rochester for an incredible summer experience. Exciting Game Promotions, Fun Entertainment, Delicious Concessions, and the Best Happy Hour in town on the Sports Deck all contribute to a fun-filled, family-oriented experience. Come See the Stars of Tomorrow Shine Today! The Rochester Honkers: Pure Baseball, Pure Fun!

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 27-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 .

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 27-Jul, 10:30 AM, North Mankato Taylor Library, 1001 Belgrade Ave., North Mankato, Free.

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 27-Jul, 2:00 PM, Henderson Public Library, 110 South Sixth Street, Henderson, Free.

(5070 345-5120 Tour With The Masters Garden Tour: 27-Jul, 4:00 PM, RCTC Heintz Center SMART Gardens, 1926 College View Road East., Rochester, $5 .

Explore 6 gardens in the Rochester area. Featured this year is companion planting, conifers we can plant, food samples and recipes, scavenger hunt for young and old, rain garden, plant sale and growing tips for the garden. Wrist bands may be purchased in advance at Sargents on 2nd starting July 10 or may be purchased at the individual gardens on the day of event 507-282-8629 Berne Wood Fired Pizza Summer Concert Series: 27-Jul, 5:00 PM, Zwingli United Church of Christ, 23148 County Highway 24, West Concord, Free. Delicious wood fired pizza will be sold along with a free summer concert series on the beautiful, rural grounds of Zwingli United Church of Christ located 7 miles west of Pine Island and 10 miles north of Kasson. Some picnic tables are provided but bringing lawn chairs is recommended. Pop, water and ice cream are sold.

You may bring your own refreshments including beer and wine. Visit our website or find us on Facebook.

Kids’ Camp Pets: 27-Jul, 6:00 PM, Hope Summit Christian Church, 1315 6th Ave SE, Rochester, Free. What: Join us this July for Kids Camp 2016, the BIGGEST just for kids event of the summer! Kids Camp is packed with wild and crazy games, cool music, prizes, lots of fun and its FREE! Your kids wont want to miss it! Who: Kids ages 4 through those going into 6th grade Cost: FREE--kids t-shirt included! Where: Hope Summit Christian Church 1315 6th Ave SE Rochester, MN 55904 When: July 26-28th, 6:00-8:15pm Phone Number: 507-288-3293 Website: www.hopesummitchurch.com Register your kids at www. hopesummitchurch.com or register on-site the day of! **There will be no live animals at this event**.

Karaoke: 27-Jul, 6:30 PM, American Legion Post 92, 315 First Avenue NW, Rochester, Free. From 6:30 - 10:30 PM every Wednesday!

Rochester Honkers vs. La Crosse Loggers: 27-Jul, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30. General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child. The Rochester Honkers enter their 23rd season as a member of the Northwoods League, the countrys premier summer collegiate baseball league. Every summer, top collegiate players move to Rochester for an incredible summer experience. Exciting Game Promotions, Fun Entertainment, Delicious Concessions, and the Best Happy Hour in town on the Sports Deck all

Experience One-of-a-Kind

Minnesota Minnesota History!

History!

Nominate us for Best Museum / History Center!

Minnesota State Public School Orphanage Museum

BEST

540 West Hills Circle, Owatonna | phone: 507-774-7369 | www.orphanagemuseum.com

NOW OPEN

STRAWBERRIES! PICK YOUR OWN AND PRE-PICKED!

For current conditions call 507-334-2226 or visit Straightriverfarm.com 3733 220th St. E., Faribault

Live Music July 16 & 29

Food & drink specials

On thpeatio

Drive South 8pm-midnight

Bagels to go • Sandwiches Homemade Cream Cheese Soups • Coffee • Sweet Treats

Daily Specials Monday - Friday!

Old Town Bagels is a family owned business and offers a friendly hometown café style atmosphere. Stop in and enjoy our homemade bagels, baked fresh daily. Try our homemade cream cheese mixes on your favorite bagel, or try one of our popular breakfast or lunch bagel sandwiches.

Nominate us for BEST Bagel Shop!

BEST

www.southernminnscene.com

Bagel Shop Hours:

Like us on Facebook for specials and more live music dates! facebook.com/JohnnyAngels.Dennison

37592 GOODHUE AVE., DENNISON · 507-301-2744 A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

Monday - Friday: 6:30 AM - 4 PM (507) 451-3193 • 211 N. Cedar Ave, Owatonna Saturday: 7 AM - 3 PM Order online NOW! www.oldtownbagels.com Sunday: Closed

F o ll o w u s

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PM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free.

Carl Fredricksen (Ed Asner), a 78-year-old balloon salesman, is about to fulfill a lifelong dream. Tying thousands of balloons to his house, he flies away to the South American wilderness. But curmudgeonly Carl’s worst nightmare comes true when he discovers a little boy named Russell is a stowaway aboard the balloon-powered house.

Emmett Ramstad: After You: 29-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 .

The Magic of Mike Prestby: 29-Jul, 10:00 AM, Muir Library, 36 Main Street, Winnebago, Free.

MN Raptor Center/Raptors of Minnesota: 29-Jul, 10:30 AM, Buckham Memorial Library, 11 Division St. E., Faribault, Free. Explore the different raptors found in Minnesota and their role in the environment. A raptor education specialist will bring three live raptors and a variety of hands-on props and activities making this program a complete educational experience.

Story Time: 29-Jul, 10:30 AM, Historic R.D. Hubbard House, 606 S. Broad St., Mankato, Free. Join Mary Esther Hubbard for a special Story Time on the Lawn of the Historic R. D. Hubbard House. Story Time includes a story and crafts. Story Time is free and open to the public.

Kids Create Canvas Art: 29-Jul, 1:00 PM, Gaylord Public Library, 332 Main Avenue, Gaylord, Free.

Make and take step-by-step canvas painting program.

Program is for elementary aged students. This program is made possible by the voters of Minnesota,

through an appropriation from Minnesota’s Arts and Cultural Heritage Fund.

MN Raptor Center/Raptors of Minnesota: 29-Jul, 1:30 PM, Buckham Memorial Library, 11 Division St. E., Faribault, Free. Explore the different raptors found in Minnesota and their role in the environment. A raptor education specialist will bring three live raptors and a variety of hands-on props and activities making this program a complete educational experience. 651-388-8700 The Magic of Mike Prestby: 29-Jul, 2:00 PM, Elmore Public Library, 302 East Willis Street, Elmore, Free. An all ages, family-friendly magic show event!

This magic show is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.

Summer Free Friday Concerts!: 29-Jul, 5:00 PM, Rochester Civic Theatre, 20 Civic Center Dr SE, Rochester, Free. The Rochester Civic Theatre is delighted to announce the return of its Summer @ The Civic Patio Concert Series. On select Friday nights in June and July, enjoy free live music and fresh food available for purchase. Bands will play from 5:00 to 7:00 pm, and again from 9:00 to 10:00 pm. Food will be available from 5:00 to 7:00 pm, and the Patio Bar will be open from 5:00 to 10:00 pm. We welcome the following acts to our Patio Stage this summer: June 10 LP & the 45s June 17 Swing Street June 24 Annie Mack July 15 KnuFunk July 22 Dianna Parks July 29 LP & the 45s All ages are welcome. Be sure to wear your dancing shoes -- and we’ll see you @

Home cooked meals just like Mom

Used to Make!

Nominate Us for: *Best Mom and Pop Restaurant * Best Breakfast

329 North Cedar Ave Owatonna, MN 507-451-9991

BEST

thekitchenowatonna.wix.com/thekitchen M-Th 5:30 a.m.-2 p.m. | F 5:30 a.m.-8 p.m.

Sat 6 a.m.-2 p.m. | Sun 8 a.m.-2 p.m.

The Civic! Please visit our website for more information: www.RochesterCivicTheatre.org.

507-282-8629 Rochester Honkers vs. Thunder Bay Border Cats: 29-Jul, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30. General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

507-282-8481 The Little Mermaid: 29-Jul, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $11-$16. Members $15, Non-members $16; Students $11. Presented by the Paradise Community Theater.

Music by Alan Mencken, lyrics by Glen Slater and Howard Ashman. Directed by Eric E. Parrish. In this beguiling musical romp, based on the Disney film, rebellious 16-year-old mermaid Ariel is fascinated with life on land. On one of her visits to the surface, which are forbidden by her controlling father, King Triton, she falls for a human prince. Determined to be with her new love, Ariel makes a dangerous deal with the sea witch Ursula to become human for three days.

But when plans go awry for the star-crossed lovers, the king must make the ultimate sacrifice for his daughter. Stay overnight at the Historic Hutchinson House B&B and receive a free pair of tickets to the show. Based on availability.

Hairspray: 29-Jul, 7:30 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 West 3rd Street, Red Wing, $10-$20. The Sheldon Theatre presents a Phoenix Theatre production of Hairspray. Hairspray, winner of 8 Tony Awards including Best Musical, is a family-friendly rock and roll musical piled bouffant high with laughter, romance, and deliriously tuneful songs. It’s 1962 in Baltimore, and the lovable plus-size teen Tracy Turnblad has only one desire -- to dance on the popular Corny Collins Show. When her dream comes true, Tracy is transformed from social outcast to sudden star.

She must use her newfound power to dethrone the reigning Teen Queen, win the affections of heartthrob Link Larkin, and integrate a TV network, all without denting her ‘do!

Miracles Happen Festival: 29-Jul, 7:30 PM, Ironwood Springs Christian Ranch, 7291 Co. Rd. 6 SW, Stewartville, $0-$25. Ticket prices vary for adults, youth, children, families, and groups.. The Miracles Happen Festival is the largest family and community celebration in southeastern Minnesota. With great Christian music and fun activities throughout the weekend, there is something for everyone to enjoy.

Our Saturday night headliner this year is Tenth Avenue North! We will also take time to honor military members and veterans who have sacrificed for our country. Visit www.mhfest.com for more information and to purchase tickets. Call 507-533-4315 with questions or to book accommodations.

Faribault Farmer’s Market: 30-Jul, 7:00 AM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free.

Traditional farmer’s market featuring local produce and crafts.

Riverboat Days: 30-Jul, 7:00 AM, Wabasha, , Wabasha, $1-$10. Admission for dance and children ride and activities. All day event starting with a pancake

breakfast, 5k run, children activities, bean bag tournament, volleyball tournament, Duck Derby Race, Grand Parade, music, beer garden and more.

Miracles Happen Festival: 30-Jul, 7:30 AM, Ironwood Springs Christian Ranch, 7291 Co. Rd. 6 SW, Stewartville, $0-$25. Ticket prices vary for adults, youth, children, families, and groups.

Rochester Eco Tri and 5K and 10K Trail Runs: 30-Jul, 8:00 AM, Camp Victory, 58212 403rd Ave, Zumbro Falls, $30-$65. http://www.rochesterecotri. com/. Join us for the Rochester Eco Tri Adventure races on Saturday, July 30th 8:00 am start time. There will be a triathlon consisting of a 4.5 mile kayak on Lake Zumbro, followed by a 7 mile mountain bike and a 3 mile trail run all on Camp Victory trails as well as 5K and 10K trail races. These events are open to everyone regardless of ability and are great for those who just want to be out on the trails and/or the waterrun, walk, or a combination. Every finisher will receive a finisher’s memento and there will be age group and overall awards. All proceeds will go to benefit Camp Victorys scholarship fund, assisting kids to attend camp who otherwise couldnt afford it. More information and registration details can be found http://www. rochesterecotri.com/ 651-388-8700 Summer Saturdays: 30-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rice County Historical Society, 1814 Second Ave. N.W., Faribault, $3 . The Rice County Museum of History houses historical displays, a genealogical research center, and an exhibit area. The Museum exhibits include the stories of the Tilt-A-Whirl (Sellner Manufacturing), Minnesot’s only Heisman Trophy winner, Bruce Smith, Bishop Whipple, Grace McKinstry, and Native Americans. The museum also displays Main Street U.S.A., which is a timeline of businesses found in many small towns of Southern Minnesota. The RCHS also operates the Heritage and Harvest Halls that contain displays of farm and industrial items. In addition there are three historic pioneer buildings, which were moved to the museum site from around the county. The buildings are an 1850s log cabin, the Pleasant Valley School organized in 1857, and The Holy Innocents Episcopal Church built in 1869.

507-282-8629 Emmett Ramstad: After You: 30-Jul, 10:00 AM, Rochester Art Center, 40 Civic Center Dr. SE, Rochester, $5 .

The Little Mermaid: 30-Jul, 2:00 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $11-$16. Members $15, Non-members $16; Students $11.

Spartanfest Dinner: Honoring 50 Years of Athletics at Mayo High School 1966-2016: 30-Jul, 5:00 PM, Willow Creek Golf Course, 1700 48th Street SW, Rochester, $20 . Honoring 50 Years of Athletics at Mayo High School 1966-2016. Former athletic directors, former coaches and alumni in this first-ever event to honor those who built the tradition of Mayo High School athletics. This is an incredible opportunity for coaches and players to reunite. There is a golf tournament prior, Noon start time $80.00 cost and it includes the Spartanfest Dinner.

Hairspray: 30-Jul, 7:30 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 West 3rd Street, Red Wing, $10-$20. . .

Joel Zoss: 30-Jul, 8:00 PM, Crossings, 320 East Ave, Zumbrota, $18-$21. Featuring his own millionselling compositions and folk and blues classics by American masters such as Elizabeth Cotten, Lead Belly, and Big Bill Broonzy, Zosss unique fingerpicking style and moving vocals always entertain. Tickets available at www.crossingsatcarnegie.com or call 507-732-7616.

Miracles Happen Festival: 31-Jul, 8:30 AM, Ironwood Springs Christian Ranch, 7291 Co. Rd. 6 SW, Stewartville, $0-$25. Ticket prices vary for adults, youth, children, families, and groups..

Rochester Honkers vs. Eau Claire Express: 31-Jul, 1:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30. General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

The Little Mermaid: 31-Jul, 2:00 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $11-$16. Members $15, Non-members $16; Students $11. 651-388-8700 Hairspray: 31-Jul, 3:00 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 West 3rd Street, Red Wing, $10-$20.

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contribute to a fun-filled, family-oriented experience.

Come See the Stars of Tomorrow Shine Today! The Rochester Honkers: Pure Baseball, Pure Fun! Kids’ Camp Pets: 28-Jul, 6:00 PM, Hope Summit Christian Church, 1315 6th Ave SE, Rochester, Free.

Canvas Painting with Unwine Creations: 28-Jul, 6:30 PM, Elmore Public Library, 302 East Willis Street, Elmore, Free. This make and take canvas art class is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant provided by the Traverse des Sioux Library Cooperative, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.

This event is for all ages. Children under 6 must be accompanied by an adult.

Concerts in the Park: 28-Jul, 7:00 PM, Central Park, 525 3rd Avenue, Faribault, Free. Red Bank Reunion Band Red Bank ReUnion Band of Indiana features 19th century musical performances ranging from patriotic to popular to Civil War selections.

The group is passionate about making music and committed to sharing history with people. Dressed in period costume, they perform music of the Civil War era using period band arrangements and appropriate instruments. The music arrangements come from the Brass Band Journals of the 1850s. Sponsored by Shattuck-St. Mary’s School.

Rochester Honkers vs. Thunder Bay Border Cats: 28-Jul, 7:05 PM, Mayo Field, 403 E. Center Street, Rochester, $8-$30. General: $8, Grandstand Reserved: $9, Box Seat Reserved: $12, Sports Deck: $30 Adult, $20 Child.

UP (Pixar/Walt Disney Pictures): 28-Jul, 8:30

GO NOMINATE YOUR FAVS at

Geneva Bar & Grill

THERE IS SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE! Family Mexican Restaurant

Nominate us for Best Bloody Mary and Best Happy Hour!

BEST

101 West Main Street | Geneva, MN | 507.256.7278

www.genevabarandgrill.com

We have a large variety of beverages and huge margaritas!

Happy Hour 2-5pm!

Best Mexican Food Best Margarita

Owatonna

BEST

1830 S Cedar Ave (507) 444-9490

About Ecumen

Le Center

Waseca

200 S State St (507) 835-4060

Open Every Day! Sun. - Thurs. 11am - 9pm Fri. - Sat. 11am - 11pm

Ecumen Le Center offers quality assisted living with privacy and around-the-clock services tailored to meet our customers’ needs.

Our residents enjoy a vibrant atmosphere that enhances independence and that has a variety of services that offers peace of mind.

We invite you to visit us and learn more:

• Our community is located within a residential neighborhood and offers private suites, each with its own bathroom, closet, phone, TV hookups and an emergency call system.

• Each suite is fully furnished and window treatments are provided. If you prefer, however, you can provide your own furnishings. Ecumen Le Center also features a dining room and a living room with cable television and DVD player.

• We provide all landscaping and snow removal.

• An Ecumen professional is on duty 24-hours-per-day to assist our residents with any needs.

• Ask about our pet policy?

Join our commuity and enjoy home cooked meals, social interaction and still maintain your independence.

www.eltequilarestaurant.com

We create home...

Assisted Living • Memory Care • Respite Care

175 E. Derrynane | Le Center, MN | 507-357-4104 | www.ecumenlecenter.org 38

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F o ll o w u s

A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

507.645.8877 northfieldartsguild.org

DUNDAS DUKES

HOME GAME SPECIALS MICHELOB, MICH LITE OR BUD LITE

7

$

2.25

$

PITCHERS

16 OZ. GLASS

SAVINGS

July at the Arts Guild

CHEESEBURGER & FRIES

5

$

Come to L&M after the games to celebrate!

Proud sponsor of the Dundas Dukes!

The 2013 Tony Award winning comedy

DATES OF HOME GAMES JUNE 19 JUNE 22 JUNE 25 JUNE 26 JUNE 29 JULY 1 JULY 8

2:00PM 7:30PM 6:00PM 2:00PM 7:30PM 7:30PM 7:30PM

JULY 10 JULY 13 JULY 17 JULY 24 JULY 27 JULY 29

2:00PM 7:30PM 2:00PM 2:00PM 7:30PM 7:30PM

Includes a touch of naughty: recommended for mature audiences

June 17-25, 2016 All performances @ 7:30 pm ASL interpretation is available for June 24 performance.

Please let office know one week in advance.

Arts Guild Theater 411 W. Third Street Tickets: $17 Adults, $13 Students and Seniors

HAPPY HOUR

M-TH 8 – 10 AM | M-F 3:30 – 6:30 PM

Downtown Dundas • 507-645-8987

Join Us Friday Evenings for

Movie Night

FREE

Event!

FREE

Popcorn!

5:00 Family Movie 7:30 Adult Movie

Like us on

to see current schedules!

Production Sponsor: Carleton College

Hundreds of Wines on Sale.

Huge Craft Beer Inventory.

Super Spirits Specials.

Grease Tickets on sale NOW! NorthfieldArtsGuild.org



(507) 645-8877

Wild Side

by Susan Feigenbaum

Bluecy on the Dash

by Lisa Anderson

Color in Common

Please Nominate Us!

June 16 - July 16, 2016

Best Coffee House • Best Desserts Best Lunch • Best Sub or Sandwich Best Server • Best Catering • Best Appetizers

BEST

featuring Lisa Anderson & Susan Feigenbaum

Artist’s Reception: June 24 7-9pm Main Gallery, Arts Guild

Serving Only Minnesota Craft Beers

Member’s Gallery: Out and About Membe paintings by Elaine Schaffner Exhibition Sponsors: Tandem Bagels & Vision

Season Sponsor: Northfield News

Northfield Arts Guild

421 Division St. S Northfield 507-664-0400 A d d y o u r e v e n t f o r F R E E t o t h e T I M E L I N E c al e n d a r . G O TO w w w. s o u t h ernminn . c o m / s c ene / c a len d a r & Cli c k + A d d a n E v ent

Season Sponsors: Neuger Communications Group & Engage Print

304 Divsion St. S. Northfield, MN 55057

Arts for All! F o ll o w u s

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BOOK REVIEWS The Bookworm Sez:

Brown is the New White looks at the new American political landscape

The Bookworm Sez:

‘Trombone Shorty’ is a great kids book that parents will love too

By Terri Schlichenmeyer Your vote matters.

At least that’s what they tell you, but you have your doubts.

You’re ONE of millions of people who’ll go to the polls in November.

You’re a raindrop in the sea, a needle in a voting haystack. But as you’ll see in Brown is the New White

by Steve Phillips, you are more powerful than you think.

In 1968, the year Martin Luther King was assassinated, about 12 percent of the U.S. population comprised “people of color.” Forty years later, on the night that Barack Obama was elected president, 36 percent of Americans were African American, Latino, Asian American, Arab American, or Native American.

While that still doesn’t sound like a very high number, Phillips says that, for a politician looking to

By Terri Schlichenmeyer “Just wait til you’re older!”

Oh, how you hate hearing that!

Wait til you’re grown. You need to get bigger.

You can’t do that now, you’re too little. But why not?

Why can’t you start dreaming of someday right now, while you’re still a kid? As you’ll see in the new book Trombone Shorty by Troy “Trombone Shorty” Andrews, illustrated by Bryan Collier, dreams can come true at any age.

In the New Orleans neighborhood called Tremé, “you could hear the music floating in the air” day and night. The house where Troy Andrews grew up was filled with music, too, and Troy loved the trombone.

He hoped to be a musician some day.

Each year, when Mardi Gras rolled through Tremé, Troy and his neighbors would dance along with the bands in the parades. Man, that was fun! There were

win in 2016, those demographics belie an “equation that’s been hiding in plain sight”: add progressive White voters, and “America has a progressive, multiracial majority right now…”

That’s good news for Democrats – the party most often favored by progressives and people of color – but it’s not the final word. Drawing a line from Selma to Obama’s election, Phillips says that understanding the interests and histories of each individual group (including progressive Whites) is essential for forward movement, politically. It’s also important to know how those groups vote and the issues they care about, because if the “truth of the lives of the New American Majority” is ignored, “they will ignore you…” Phillips says. Stirring things up, as he points out, are conservatives who actively court “communities of color” and Republicans who’ve shown that they’re trying to embrace new thinking.

Smart politicians, Phillips says, will “invest wisely” by speaking directly through media outlets that are important and relevant to voters in order to keep the New American Majority’s attention and retain their support. Both parties must examine ways to bring “justice” and, therefore, equality to constituents. They need to cultivate “great cultural competence and expertise.” And they’ll have to “educate themselves balloons, beads, and music, which “made everyone forget about their troubles for a little while.”

That also made Troy want to become a musician even more, so he and his friends created instruments from odds and ends they found around Tremé; Troy was happy to find a beat-up trombone, and he fixed it up good. That’s the best part of being a musician: you can make music from almost anything.

So he was ready. At the next parade, he grabbed his trombone, jumped right in, and started marching with the band. Because he was a little guy and the trombone is a big instrument, Troy’s brother gave Troy the nickname of “Trombone Shorty,” which is what everybody called him from then on.

“I took that trombone everywhere,” Troy says, “and never stopped playing.”

He even took it to the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival, and he played along with the musicians.

He was so loud and so good that Bo Diddley called Trombone Shorty onstage and asked him to jam.

Trombone Shorty knew then that he could have his own band, so he did. Every day after school, his band practiced their music until they were able to perform “all around New Orleans” – and they still perform today!

about the realities of the lives of people of color.”

Jam-packed with statistics, numbers, and thoughts that whirl around the pages, ‘Brown is the New White” is interesting, but it’s not a book to finish in a weekend.

There’s so much inside here to comprehend, that you may not even finish it this month.

Author Steve Phillips pulls together plenty of intriguing ideas, history, and cause-and-effect tales but too many stats, which often muddy his points. He seems to go off-topic, sometimes slightly, but enough to cause me to stop and wonder where this was going.

And yet, what he says is compelling and impossible to ignore; to wit, we are on the verge of something that could be exciting, if we only coalesce.

To reach that point, there are suggestions here, some of which may be controversial and some of which will require serious work. Still, though this book is definitely on the heavy side, what you’ll eventually learn is meaningful, particularly in this election year.

For anyone over 18, Brown is the New White could be a book that matters.

Brown is the New White by Steve Phillips c.2016, The New Press $25.95 / $30.95 Canada 249 pages Terri Schlichenmeyer is a book reviewer based just across the river from SoMinn in LaCrosse, WI. She can be contacted at bookwormsez@gmail.com

Lately, you’ve played air guitar to a Prince song, and were a drummer on your kitchen table. If your kids caught your love of music, they might likewise dream the dreams found inside the award-winning Trombone Shorty.

With the same laissez les bon temps vibe you get from merely standing on a New Orleans sidewalk, author Troy Andrews tells of coming up poor and finding riches in his city’s songs. It’s a story that’ll make your children want to dance with music they can almost hear from the pages of this book; those silent songs are underscored by illustrations from Bryan Collier, himself an award-winner.

Be sure to check out the author’s notes. Show your kids the pictures.

While you could surely read this tale aloud to a 2-year-old, I think kids ages 4-to-7 will like it better. If they love music, especially, Trombone Shorty will be a book they won’t be able to wait for.

Trombone Shorty by Troy “Trombone Shorty” Andrews, illustrated by Bryan Collier c.2015, Abrams Books for Young Readers $17.95 / $21.95 Canada 40 pages Terri Schlichenmeyer is a book reviewer based just across the river from SoMinn in LaCrosse, WI. She can be contacted at bookwormsez@gmail.com

CHAUTAUQUAJULY 2 Peter Klug & Jack Klatt & OboeBass Puppet Farm Arts & Al Batt A FREE festival of music and arts!

Trowbridge Park inWaseca, MN, 11am-4 pm

Nominate us for Southern Minn’s

Jack Klatt

Pete Klug

OboeBass Vecchione & Erdahl

nominate at

This activity is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant from the Prairie Lakes Regional Arts Council, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the Arts and Cultural Heritage Fund; and the E.F. Johnson Foundation.

Waseca County Historical Society 315 2nd Avenue NE, Waseca MN

507-835-7700

40

southernminnscene.com!

Puppet Farm Arts

1101 Hoffman Drive, Owatonna BEST 507-451-2585 www.kernelrestaurant.com

Al Batt

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BOOK REVIEWS The Bookworm Sez:

‘Dear County Agent Guy’ recalls the good, the bad and the ugly of farm life

The Bookworm Sez:

‘The Fireman’ is a chilling novel

By Terri Schlichenmeyer The rain – or lack thereof – just about destroyed your crops a year or three ago.

Seems the weather’s always wrong, prices are lower than they need to be, and there’s always a hole in some fence somewhere. Still, you’d never have it any other way, so read Dear County Agent Guy by Jerry Nelson.

You might as well laugh, right?

More than three generations ago, when Jerry Nelson’s great-grandparents began farming on “the open prairies of eastern South Dakota,” they had no idea that they were leaving a legacy. From them, Nelson inherited a love of the land, a career, a ramshackle ancestral cottage and, presumably, a good sense of humor.

For a few years after high school, Nelson farmed

By Terri Schlichenmeyer Your family has a good contingency plan.

You all know what to do if there’s a blaze or a flood. You know where to go, what to grab if there’s time, and what not to do. You’ve practiced – at least in your mind. But what if Plan A fails? In The Fireman, the new novel by Joe Hill, that’s the burning question.

Harper Willowes Grayson couldn’t quite believe that she’d gotten infected.

As a nurse, she knew the dangers. She knew that those who got Dragonscale died horrible deaths in fire that consumed them from within. Millions of people world-wide had been reduced to ash, and she’d taken strong precautions against Draco incendia trychophyton but there it was: a filigree trail snaked black-and-gold around her hips and up her arms. A sign of infection. A

near the old homestead and eventually co-farmed with his father. That was after he decided that life would be better with a little “female companionship,” and he took a wife.

The two sons that came afterward were a nice complement to the wife thing, although having them wasn’t like getting a new calf. With sons, there was a hospital involved and a lot of huffing and puffing.

Having been through all this birthing stuff before, Nelson kindly offered his calf-puller, noting that having a baby was easy for a cow so why was it such a big deal to his wife’s midwife?

Kidding aside, though, a farm is a great place to raise a family. Nelson’s great-grandparents did it. His grandparents raised their children on a farm, as did his parents and that’s where Nelson’s boys grew up. It’s where the old family cabin moldered until it fell apart, and where Nelson found a letter from his father, dated long before Nelson was born. It’s where silage doesn’t taste very good (but the cows sure love it); where a man with a pickup is everybody’s friend; and where favorite foods are served, even if one’s wife must hold her nose.

The farm is where pastures hold memories of times spent with Dad. It’s where lessons are learned that stick

death sentence.

Her husband, Jakob, had sentenced her to death already, though, hadn’t he? He forced Harper into agreeing to a suicide pact, should either of them fall sick. Would he really make her go along with it, now that Harper was pregnant?

The answer was yes, but on the day Jakob became crazed with fear and tried to kill her, Harper learned that her months as a nurse offered her something unique: the friendship of a tall, mysterious man, ‘scaled up and wearing fireman’s gear.

She had once helped the fireman’s ailing nephew and, in return, the fireman vowed to save her life. He whisked her away to an abandoned summer camp, leaving her in the care of other survivors who’d learned to harness their Dragonscale; they’d also taken measures to avoid Cremation Crews that sprang up to annihilate ‘scale sufferers. Camp residents would keep Harper and her unborn baby safe.

But was she safe there, or did the camp offer its own set of dangers? As Harper learned more about her savior and about the people of the camp, she began to have her doubts but she couldn’t leave.

If Jakob learned that she was still alive, he’d try to extinguish her for good.

with a boy long after he becomes a man. It’s where cows are pets, snow is no excuse to stay home, and where lives change because accidents happen…

Maybe it’s just me, but I could swear I smelled fresh country air while reading Dear County Agent Guy. Yep, this book reminded me of warm spring afternoons, when you’re driving on a dirt road and you stop to jaw a minute with a neighbor on a dusty tractor. It’s like finally finding that newborn calf in the woods – and it’s a heifer! There are loving-the-farm moments, wrapped inside hating-the-losses chapters.

And yes, there are times when reading this book is like watching someone pratfall in a fresh cow-patty, because author Jerry Nelson sprinkles good-natured, genuine humor all over his essays here.

I laughed out loud more than once at this book, and I think you’ll like it, too – especially if you understand its very title. For you, then, grab Dear County Agent Guy and plant yourself down.

Dear County Agent Guy by Jerry Nelson c.2016, Workman Publishing $14.95/$22.95 Canada 210 pages Terri Schlichenmeyer is a book reviewer based just across the river from SoMinn in LaCrosse, WI. She can be contacted at bookwormsez@gmail.com

Overall, I was quite satisfied with The Fireman, though it did have its “huh?” moments.

Because, perhaps, of its size, it seemed that author Joe Hill let his story run away with itself sometimes.

Conversations became overly-long and clichéd, there were minor head-scratchers here and there, I noticed that one character went uncharacteristically missing for awhile, and some plots were too pat. And yet…

And yet, I almost ripped a few pages in an effort to turn them faster because Hill doesn’t let up on the heart-thumpers much. Every time you think you can breathe (or laugh, because Hill also has a fiery sense of humor), you’re yanked back into a story that’s hair-raising, sleep-squashing, and just about believable enough to make you check your own skin for ‘scale.

That means that fans of post-Apocalyptic novels, zombie TV shows, and good old-fashioned scream-fest novels should scream for this one. Who knew that a book called The Fireman could chill you so thoroughly?

The Fireman by Joe Hill c.2016, William Morrow $28.99 / $35.99 Canada 753 pages Terri Schlichenmeyer is a book reviewer based just across the river from SoMinn in LaCrosse, WI. She can be contacted at bookwormsez@gmail.com

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BOOK REVIEWS

The Bookworm Sez:

Terry McMillan pens a great novel about the one’s that got away

By Terri Schlichenmeyer In every love life, there’s always The One That Got Away.

He got away because you were both too young, too scared, too broke, or too different.

Things were said that couldn’t be unsaid, done that shouldn’t have been done. It just didn’t work out then, but now…? In the new novel, I Almost Forgot about You by Terry McMillan, he’ll never get away twice.

It should have been an ordinary run-of-the-mill Monday.

That’s the way it started for optometrist Georgia Young: new prescriptions, return clients, followups, and one new Monday-morning patient who – big surprise! - turned out to be the daughter of a man Georgia dated in college and had fallen for.

She never told the guy she loved him, though, and she never would… because he was dead.

Shaken to the core, Georgia began to think about all the men she’d slept with, and the ones she’d fallen in love with. How would life have changed if she’d stayed with any one of them?

She’d been divorced twice; would that number have been higher or lower? Would she have more than her two daughters, live somewhere other than San Francisco, travel, cook for two?

At nearly 55 years old, she figured she’d never find love again, but she at least needed closure.

With the urging of her BFF, Wanda, Georgia made a list of the men she’d once loved, and she promised herself she’d find them - not because she wanted to rekindle anything, but because she had

so many questions for them and for herself.

Finding her exhusbands was easy.

Michael happened to be moving back to California, and Niles was out of jail for his white-collar crime; both were happy and had moved on with their lives. Georgia was even able to stop hating them.

But Abraham wouldn’t be easy to find. Neither would Lance. There were two Jameses, two Harolds, Thomas, Horace, and others, and one white guy that Wanda remembered, and added to the list. Georgia knew she’d never find them all, especially since she had a business, a busy family, and a life to live.

Still, they were all men she’d remember forever.

But would they remember her?

Show of hands: who hasn’t spent girlfriendtime talking about boyfriends? Probably nobody, so I Almost Forgot about You is a comfortably familiar story.

That’s not to say that it’s same-old, though. Like she has in many of her other novels, author Terry McMillan gives readers a cast of strong-minded, smart women who lean on other strong-minded, smart women. In this book, however, we see a few more bruises from living, rather than from relationships: Georgia and her friends are looking toward retirement, a little less stress, and no more drama. Even so, they get drama anyhow, and you’ll be glad for it.

Definitely, this is a novel for anyone who’s lost a love and wondered, “What if…?” It’s a book you’ll want to share with your BFFs. I Almost Forgot about You is a book you shouldn’t let get away.

I Almost Forgot about You by Terry McMillan c.2016, Crown $27.00 / $36.00 Canada 358 pages Terri Schlichenmeyer is a book reviewer based just across the river from SoMinn in LaCrosse, WI. She can be contacted at bookwormsez@gmail.com

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CD REVIEWS

By Daniel G. Moir editor@southernminnscene.com

R

Radiohead’s ‘A Moon Shaped Pool’ is a timeless, heartbreaking album for a lonely night

adiohead remain the rare band that continues to confound, confuse and make music on their own terms. Album releases have, until now, been unpredictable artistic statements in their own right. Records like OK Computer and Kid A literally threw away the successful sonic style of each album’s predecessor to start fresh. Even the most die-hard fan was hard pressed to guess their next move or sound. With the surprise release of In Rainbows in 2007, they set the digital download up on their website and invited customers to “pick their own price.” Wading into the fierce discussions of the legality of pirated music via Bit Torrent downloads, this was a direct challenge for fans to make an individual decision on the value of music. It could be downloaded for nothing, or you could pay a million dollars. Whatever amount you choose was YOUR statement.

5 years since their last release, they suddenly “deleted their Internet presence” to signal that a new album was imminent. It was “the most Radiohead thing to do.” It seems the only thing left is to release their next album telepathically.

The musical term Marcato means “to play with emphasis and precision.” It perfectly describes the heavy forceful bowing and percussion of the violin strings that open this album on the engagingly driven “Burn The Witch.” Radiohead

By Sarah Osterbauer editor@southernminnscene.com

J

James Blake ‘The Colour in Anything’ is a mammoth, bass heavy reflection

ames Blake’s voice has always been a novelty when paired with his tall lanky white exterior.

A little Neville-ish (Aaron, not Longbottom), he lays down syrupy, sensual soul over thick bass heavy beats. You could call it EDM yet most of it is not dancey per se. You could call it R&B save for the electric part. If I used words like post-dub step or R&B trip hop, I might call it that, but I don’t so I won’t. At any rate, for Blake’s third album he did the opposite of what most artists are doing today by putting out a 17 track goliath instead of dropping new songs here and there culminating into an EP. He sticks mostly to his signature sounds: bass that makes parts of your body vibrate you didn’t know could, that droneish siren sounding constant, persisting in the background of most tracks, elements on loops, miscellaneous vocal tracks and concrete heavy beats. It’s on a spectrum from “hypnotic” to “a catalyst for madness.”

On album opener “Radio Silence” hollow drums layer over lonely piano and lingering white noise, essentially a radio on a dead frequency.

Then one of Blake’s musical signatures enters

By RICH LARSON editor@southernminnscene.com

I

Ramblin’ down the road with ‘Shadows in the Sunset’

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n this day and age, there are plenty of musicians who can talk about the history of folk and country music. A good Americana musician will be able to tell ten different Woody Guthrie stories right off the top of their head, and then play a song made famous by Bill Monroe or Marty Robbins. Any number of great folk/country/blues singers understands the history behind the music they play. But there aren’t many who can say they’ve lived it.

In 2006, Jack Klatt sold his belongings, dropped out of college and went on the road for six years with nothing but “a backpack and a Martin guitar.” Like a 1930’s style troubadour, he busked on corners in San Francisco, spent a year in Spain, and worked barrooms and dance halls throughout the south and west. During his self-imposed Great Depression, Klatt taught himself to play finger style guitar, wrote dozens of songs and learned hundreds more. By the end of his journey, he had earned as much Travelling Minstrel cred as anybody this side of Roger Miller.

Klatt has taken up the mantle and become a modern day “King of the Road.”

Klatt’s new album, Shadows in the Sunset, reflects that role in his lyrics, filled with loneliness, sel-sufficiency, traveling and, of course, liquor. His bluesy folk tales recall cold flophouse apartments and long stretches of open road.

Not that he seems to mind. Like all traveling musicians, the characters Klatt sings about relish the freedom of their lifestyle. On the opening

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keep their lyrics vague. Are they referencing the psychic toll experienced due to ever-present surveillance, the societal desire to avoid change, or the influx (and blame placed on) recent Syrian refugees to Europe? Lyrics like “And if you float you burn, Loose talk around the tables” with further suggestions to “not react, Shoot the messengers” before admitting that all this is “a low flying panic attack” leave all options out on the table. It is up to you to decide what it all means.

Band leader Thom Yorke’s recent ending of a 23-year romantic relationship influences much of the rest of album’s reflective lyrics and mournful sound. The first references are found in “Daydreaming” which is not unlike a dark version of Claude Debussy’s “Images [oubliées].”

Piano lines flow like waves lapping the shore on a moonlight night. As the song progresses, the musical shapes darken, suggesting an ominous undercurrent forming off shore as clouds gather overhead. The minimalistic lyrics suggest detachment and disconnection with melodies swirling and congealing before dissipating into a slowed backwards vocal track intoning the lyrics “half of my life.” (Yorke is 46.) The effect is both beautiful and disquieting.

“Ful Stop” is an equally lyrically minimalist song of regret and trouble. Ominous driving beats and sound effects thicken into a solid compelling groove accompanied by the singer’s suggestion that “Truth will mess you up.” This song is like scary movie you can’t help but watch,

even if you’re peering between your fingers. It is also a swirling joy designed for solo late night urban driving.

Many of the songs on “Moon Shaped Pool” have been part of the Radiohead repertoire for more than a decade. “Present Tense” dates back to live performances in 2009 and the acoustic samba-styled version found on the album is a perfect counterpoint to lyrics about the fleeting nature of time and how it shapes a person’s relationship not only to others and the world, but to themselves.

The real highlight of this record comes with the long-awaited studio release of “True Love Waits.” Dating back to at least 1995, the only other version exists on their 2001 live album “I Might Be Wrong.” Perhaps Yorke’s finest composition, this dreamlike, piano-based song reflects the futility of waiting for a reconciliation that never comes after a deep, intimate relationship ends.

The song has existed for almost the duration of both Yorke’s relationship and the history of the band. Closing the album this way seems logical, but also fitting and sad. Some may note that “True Love Waits” is the 100th Radiohead LP song and may also represent the ending and summation of this phase of the band. As with the song’s protagonist, what remains unclear is what’s next.

the fray, it’s a neverending light saber extending out, permeating the song with its constancy and intensity. Blake’s echoey vocal sings “I can’t believe this, you don’t wanna see me.” He sounds sorrowful if not also confused about the state of mind of his lost love, the music giving life to the silence between them.

While Blake takes a lot of electronic liberties on this album, he kept it simple with two of the tracks. “F.o.r.e.v.e.r” and the title track find him without vocal manipulation, allowing the piano to be his guide. “F.o.r.e.v.e.r” (also most annoying song title to type) sounds like he may have just sat down started playing what was on his mind without a plan or set melody. The song yoyo’s a bit between being simply forlorn to resentful and concludes feeling unfinished. “The Colour In Anything” features layered harmonies and a reflective Blake.

As we continue down the path of electronic music production, more creators are allowing themselves the use of unconventional sounds, Blake included. On “Put That Away and Talk to Me” a slow punchy beat shoots air like a cataracts test while soft chimes dance behind the vocal, “Where is your beautiful life? I’m not living here anymore.” Sporadic growls, beeps and

soundbites litter the track perhaps to signify life’s constant interruptions via various forms of media.

Blake sounds annoyed by it and the role it plays for his partner.

On his collaboration with Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon, “I Need a Forest Fire” a new day blossoms to the sound of Vernon’s whooping. Vernon sings over a loop of Blake singing “another shade, another shadow.” The voices interlace in perfect falsetto glory. The track is a slow burn, illuminating Blake’s apparent need for a jump start.

The Colour In Anything on its surface reads very much like a breakup album. Each song reflecting on the love lost, or the state of missing it.

There’s a longing in Blake’s minimal lyrics and a sadness that cuts through the vocal manipulation and artificial sounds. The looping could send the wrong person into madness and the right person into a hypnotic state. Blake’s music calls for cocktails made with spirits that have obscure names.

It’s for creeping in dark corners and making eyes at strangers or walking down a rain drenched street in the late evening hours. Listen with care or none at all. It’ll get in your head either way.

song “Sweet As Honey,” Klatt sings “Sometimes I have money/Sometimes I have none/I love the moon just as much as the sun/I can spend it so fast/It would drive a broker insane/Life is sweet as honey all I’ve lost I have gained.” On “Jack’s Blues” Klatt says “I don’t know where I’m going/ But I know right where I’m bound/When I get lowdown and lonesome/The highway is my lost and found.” And on the appropriately titled “Booze Song,” he’s very matter of fact about his priorities: “I’m headed downtown with a pocket of brown/I don’t run for nothing/Tell your mother and your cousins/It don’t matter to me I’ve got no place to be/I just can’t get me enough of that booze.”

For a man living from day to day, Klatt presents a pretty happy front, and it might have something to do with the way this album was recorded. Last summer, Klatt stumbled upon a century old church in the just across the Mississippi in Viroqua, Wisconsin. After playing a couple songs, he decided the acoustics in the room were perfect for his music. Working with veteran Twin Cities producer Tom Herbers and a handful of musicians that included Patrick Harison on lap steel and accordion, Josh Granowski on bass, Chris Hepola on percussion and Nikki Grossman on fiddle, Klatt knocked this album out in all of three days. For these songs that sound as comfortable and worn as a thirty-year old easy chair that should be about right. These are road songs that have been worked out in small bar rooms, the backseats of thumbed down rides and around the fires of semi-legal campsites. By the time they made it to that church recording studio there

Daniel G. Moir has forgotten more about music than all the rest of us know combined. Reach him at editor@southernminnscene.com.

Sarah Osterbauer is the SouthernMinn Scene music columnist and critic. She loves to meet the people who make the city’s heart beat (and sometimes break). Follow her on twitter @SarahOwrites.

shouldn’t have been much more work to put in.

This is not to say that the musicianship isn’t exquisite, however. Klatt knows his way around a guitar as well as any folk singer. There are moments when it sounds like there’s three of him playing at once, while Harison offers some of the most tasteful slide work we’ve heard around here since Willie Murphy’s glory days. Meanwhile Klatt drops a well-placed harmonica into “Booze Song”. Grossman’s fiddle on “Logwalls & Chainsaws” provides the perfect feel of an Appalachian front porch. Hepola should be commended not just for his perfect accompaniment, but also for the restraint he shows throughout the album.

He keeps the grooves moving, but at no time does he overwhelm the other instruments, which would be very easily done in these arrangements.

Shadows in the Sunset is nothing short of a delight to hear. It’s the kind of album that you can put on in the background for some unobtrusive company, but can provide hours of fascinating examination when carefully listened to. The music is complicated and meticulous in its components, but the sum of the parts becomes something enjoyable and really beautiful. That’s a rare skill for a songwriter. Klatt is continuing a tradition of Minnesota Troubadours like Spider John Koerner and Charlie Parr (even early Bob Dylan). He can create masterpieces out of seemingly simple structure.

He has the skill, the intelligence, the charm and the chops to add his name to a list of Minnesota legends.

Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@southernminnscene.com.

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CD REVIEWS

The Counterfactuals Get Down to Business

By RICH LARSON editor@southernminnscene.com

H

ere’s my complaint with The Counterfactuals new album, The Counterfactuals: if you’re going to write intelligent lyrics, as front man Daniel Groll clearly does, you have to either a.) publish said lyrics on a gatefold, or an album sleeve, or on your Bandcamp page, or you, know, anywhere, or b.) you have to bring the vocals up in the mix so poor, bedraggled, middle-aged music writers whose hearing has been damaged by years (and years and years) of rock shows don’t have to fight like hell to decipher them.

Other than that, I don’t really have any complaints.

Congratulations to The Counterfactuals, the quartet of Northfield college professors whose “hobby” produces better results than most full time musicians. Your self-titled second album builds upon the success of your debut, while introducing new elements into the sound so things don’t get boring. Really, that’s almost all anyone can ask from a sophomore effort.

It has to make some of those full timers angry. In December 2013, I was given an advance copy of their first album, Minimally Decent People, and I knew before Christmas that I was listening to the best album of 2014.

The band’s jangle pop sensibilities combined with Groll’s lyrics, creative and astute without

ever talking down to the listener, to create intriguing, even compelling, music that engaged the listener in both the mind and the heart.

This new album contains the same spirit, but also offers a depth that was not there on the debut. It’s as if on the first record, the band was just happy to have been turned loose in a recording studio. This time, things are a little more serious, a little more focused.

There’s a sense of intention with this album.

It’s evident from the opening riff of “Fading from Bright,” with Jason Decker’s droning, focused guitar line emerging from a cloud of echoes, to the bounce of “Hide From the Noise” (in which Groll is referencing something about the “honesty of liars” – I did make that out), right through the raw emotion of the final track, “In My Grave.” The band set out to make a cohesive aural statement with this album, and they knocked it out of the park.

Each member of the band brings something essential to the recordings. The sound is built around the interplay of Decker’s and Groll’s guitars, while Andy Flory supplements them with letter perfect bass lines, holding the songs together but never demanding the spotlight.

The great revelation of The Counterfactuals, however, is drummer Mike Fuerstein. To be sure, Fuerstein’s drumming has always been fine, but now he seems to have found the way to contribute to the overall sound of the music, rather than simply acting as timekeeper.

His play on “It Won’t Sting for a While,” “Might As Well Join In,” and particularly “Diamond Days,” is an indispensable element.

These songs wouldn’t be nearly as good if it were not for his presence.

We would be remiss if we did not take a moment to single out Groll’s vocals. Buried in the mix, though they may be, Groll is a truly gifted singer. His understanding of phrasing and harmony, his incredible sense of melody and his unique tone are cornerstones of this music’s success. It’s hard enough to write a great song. Singing that song up to its full potential is harder still. Groll pulls that trick off time and time again.

Second albums are confounding things.

The conventional wisdom is that a band has years and years to write the music for their first album, with only a fraction of that time to write the follow-up. Therefore, it would follow that those albums usually suffer in comparison. But The Counterfactuals have gone the other way. They took the lessons learned from making a successful debut and challenged themselves to do something better. It’s a rare feat, but with The Counterfactuals, they pulled it off.

Now if I could just understand what the hell they’re saying…

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Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene.

You can reach him at rlarson@southernminnscene.com.

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SPORTSBALL

KARLEE KANZ Karlee Kanz is a freelance writer in Southern Minnesota.

Contact her at editor@southernminnscene.com.

The Atlanta Braves season in pictures.

Joe Mauer at a loss.

1899 Cleveland Spiders.

Twins skipper Paul Molitor.

Kevin Jepsen.

on’t you love spring time? I sure do.

The fresh smell of lilacs, birds chirping, playing yard games whilst the smell of smoked meats fill the air. Oh and lets not forget America’s dearest past-time.

Heading out to the ball game, taking one’s self out with the crowd, buying some peanuts and cracker jacks, not caring when you’ll ever get back. And yes, you root root root for the home team, and if they don’t win its a shame.

But lets be honest with each other right now, it has become a bit more than a ‘shame’ now-a-days.

Have you taken some time to actually soak in how terrible the Minnesota Twins are this year? They are ghastly, and if you actually look the word incompetent in the dictionary it says this:

in·com·pe·tent [in` kämp d nt] e e

adjective 1.

48

not having or showing the necessary skills to do something successfully.

“As a whole, the Minnesota Twins have been absolutely incompetent this year.” synonyms: inept, unskillful, unskilled, inexpert,

amateurish, unprofessional see: Minnesota Twins pitching staff, Minnesota Twins

defense, Kevin Jepsen

If the shoe fits, I guess.

The Minnesota Twins are currently 13-34 and doing their damnedest as I write this to become 13-35 because my god, I sure hope they are at least trying to be terrible since they quit trying to be remotely good. How bad are they, you say?

Not ONE of our starting pitchers have more than one win, the only pitcher on the team with tallying up TWO WHOLE WHOPPING WINS is Kevin Jepsen, who has taken over Glen Perkins closing roll because OF COURSE he got hurt right away and more than likely won’t be back for a while, and I don’t blame him. Oh, it gets worse. Joe Mauer played in every game for the first month, and halfway through May his average and on base percentage plummeted dramatically. Let him have a breather before he gets another dose of “bilateral leg weakness”, okay Molitor?

We have two months in the books, and the majority of fans have lost all hope for a playoff birth. Some of the more void-embracing fans are cheering for the team to break the

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F o ll o w u s

Joe Mauer sweet, sweet ass.

Cleveland Spiders’ record for losses in a season (154), which is cruel but hey if you’re going to be terrible be the BEST at it. Their snark and non-homer outlook does have one positive though, if we are the masters of suck, it’ll make it so the Braves don’t “win” the first overall pick in the 2017 draft.

Speaking of the Braves! Everyone circle July 26-27 and August 16-17 on your calendars, because if you love some intense, action filled, AA baseball, those two series between the Braves and Twins has your name aaaaaall over it.

But as a Minnesota sports fan, we will survive this. As a complete homer myself I can’t fully give up on this team.

The Twins are loaded with young talent that still need to hone in on their skills. Exactly like the young and youth-filled Minnesota Timberwolves, they are pretty damn fun to watch, given the circumstances. I like watching Miguel Sano’s at bats in anticipation of a 2,000ft (more like 450, which is still impressive) bomb into the upper deck in left field. Seeing the craziness of Eduardo Nunez fills me with hope, yes, his fielding is sub-par and his erratic at-bats aren’t nothing to write home about but EVERY time he gets a hit (really, probably 99.95 percent of the time) he loses his helmet, and he throws while hes on his back, or on his bum facing the other direction. Its very reminiscent of Nick Punto. Oh also, looking at baseball butts never gets old. So take yourself out to the ball game, hang out with that crowd, and possibly drink a few beers to lessen the blow of their probable loss. We’re all in this together, pal.

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KEVIN KREIN Kevin Krein is a writer who will lift you to seventh sky.

Please become immense by reading his tweets: @ KevEFly. When you Google image search “junk email” this is, like, the fourth thing that comes up. Apologies to Hormel.

Becoming immense for the ladies — an introduction to unwanted emails

Hello asshole! How are your children?

According to the internet, a place that is full of factual information, the etymology of using the word “spam” to describe unwanted electronic mail dates back to the mid 1990s.

It’s a reference to the “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” sketch, where a group of Vikings sing a chorus of “SPAM SPAM SPAM” at increasing volumes while sitting in a diner that serves, you guessed it, Spam—their chanting, viewed as a metaphor for the unsolicited commercial e-mail sent to a large number of addresses, in what was seen as drowning out normal communication on the internet.

Hormel, the parent company behind the meat product Spam, are said to be supportive of the Monty Python skit, and to some extent, have embraced it through various marketing tie-in efforts.

However, as expected, they have never been fond of unwanted “junk” emails being referred to as “spam.” But, at this point, there is really nothing to be done about it.

was monitoring them in the first place.

More often than not, however, they would just be chockablock full of junk mail—hilarious and strange junk mail.

Pay less for the quality! Save money for girl’s joys. I want to hear that you’re smaller.

I suppose this sort of thing happens because those email addresses—“mail” and “sales” were both published on the company’s website, and whatever internet riff raff just happened to be crawling our page could see them, and send messages to them.

Junk mail happens—it happens to us all. It happens to us in real life. Like, when you go to your mailbox at home and instead of birthday cards or bills or the package you have been waiting for, you get another credit card application or an offer from a lawn care service.

And despite Gmail’s best efforts to deflect junk mail completely, sometimes a sketchy offer from Ray Ban or a notification from What’s App Messenger will find their way into your Spam... err....”junk mail” folder.

Is this the person behind all of the junk email I received?

Affordable boner for everyone—get one.

A number of years ago, I used to have a job where part of my duties entailed monitoring two additional email accounts outside of my own—“mail” at company’s name and “sales” at company’s name.

Most people contacting the company knew to reach out directly to myself or to my supervisor, but occasionally a “real” email from an actual person would show up in one of those additional email boxes, which was why I

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Amazing hardness is easy. Rich loving life is easy.

Many of the emails I received, as you could probably guess, were about boner pills. Or, at least, what appeared to be boner pills, by their suggestive subject lines and one sentence body followed by a cryptic web link that certainly would not take me to a website that could harm my computer.

Don’t disapoint her tonight,” the subject line of one read, and yes the spelling of “disappoint” was incorrect.

F o ll o w u s

“This could seriously intensify your bedroom life.” “Improve your reputation as the greatest lover,” another suggested.

“Keep your gf pleased this night.”

Keep your girl delighted every night

Small help for complete pleasure

Do not disappoint your girl at night

“Find out how to make your girlfried happy,” yet another email proclaimed.

“Lift your girl to the seventh sky.”

Nothing helps better

Where exactly is seventh sky? Or did I even want to know? And why did I have a girlfried?

Eventually, I started taking screen captures of these messages, and sharing them on Facebook, because I just couldn’t believe the sheer amount of them that were filling up the mailboxes.

There were times when it was funny, you know? You have a good laugh, then you get back to work.

Then, there were the times that became unsettling, like when I let 21 messages fill up one of the mailboxes over the course of four days, and the stacked up subject lines read like some kind of bizarre, spoken word poetry:

Do you desire to surprise your girlfriend this night?

Open a new world of enjoyment tonight

Do you wish to surprise your woman every night?

Good answer to your intimacy problems

Best line of products for male probs

Make her forget others

Show your potency to her

There is nothing better than night full of enjoyment

Solution to your bed flaccidity

It can endure as long as you want

Are you ready to become immense for the ladies?

This could boost your intimate life greatly

Be yourself, act excellent in bed

This could increase your love life greatly

Become hottest man for her

Do you wish to impress your lover tonight?

Do you desire to satisfy your wife this night?

Eventually, the messages were no longer limited to implied intimacy problems. I started receiving emails that seemed to be written in archaic poetic contractions:

O’er thy cheek, and o’er thy breast— does the sower Cloth’d in robes of blood and gold; And her locks covered with grey despair.

Still, the most fascinating development during the time I was receiving these messages were the emails that were constructed in a way to convince someone they were being sent from an actual person.

Hello, Let me introduce myself. I am the winner of various beauty contests and the most beautiful girl on the coast. And I really want to get a job from you. I attach my CV where you can find links to my accounts in social networks and see my photos.

Kisses, Elizabeth Tailor.

Who asks for a job, attaches their CV, but signs off on an email with “kisses?”

Then there’s Inna, who is looking for an honest and fair man—“I am an ambitious lady and I like to show themselves gradually,” she said. “I am calm, well-balanced and do not suffer from depression. But my main trump card is my beauty. I like reading and walking. Are you kind? What if you are my destiny?”

If she is well balanced, does not suffer from depression, and is looking for someone who is kind, why is she contacting me?

The real question, of course, is where is all of this junk mail coming from.

Who is sending it and why are they doing it? Is there some kind of malicious individual behind all of this, steepling their fingers as they sit in a darkened room, cackling, sending out message after message advertising boner pills?

It’s emails like this that are a funny, yet stark reminder about the Internet— that despite our best efforts, it’s like giant bad neighborhood that we cannot seem to completely gentrify.

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