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APRIL 2015 / VOLUME 3 / ISSUE 4

10 4

14

MaxSCENE Column

21 Sounds like school

Puppy fever.

The Mid West Music Fest has always been committed to giving back to the Winona community. The Sounds Like School initiative is the best example of that commitment.

6 SoMinn State of Mind Light it up Blue.

7

SoMinn SOUND

The identity of the artist: Gotta hear both sides.

22 The TimeLine

The SoMinn’s most comprehensive calendar of things to be SCENE.

8 We’re so small compared

to our hearts

I

people I know are relatives and/or senior citizens. Though I think I am plenty responsible (even if I did miss deadline for this column, but who’s keeping track, right?) maybe they are kind of right.

These people spewing out advice are all talk. Though it’s not always the best choice, puppies have been Christmas and Valentine’s Day gifts for years. I got a plane ticket for Christmas and a Gopher Hockey game for Valentine’s. I grew up in a wrestling family, what even is hockey? Oh well. I’m not trying to sound ungrateful. But maybe the pup will be in my Easter basket. HINT. HINT. Alas, receiving the dog as a gift isn’t exactly under the responsible category is it? I know I’ll end up purchasing the dog myself. It’s why I have a dog fund. See that?

Responsibility. Fiscal Responsibility.

I’ve just been waiting for the very right time. See? Another responsible thought.

As of 2012, 164 million people in the U.S. have pets. That my friends, is one statistic I yearn to be a part of.

The time is coming. It really is.

Until then, I’ll keep on dog shopping, keep on day dreaming about Arrow and keep on working on that sales pitch.

Who knows, next time you hear from me, maybe I’ll tell you about how I just taught Jem to heal.

I firmly believe everyone should have a pet, if lifestyle allows for it.

Growing up with dogs, my favorite was a chocolate Labrador. He thought I was great. I thought he was great.

And you know what? Pets are loyal and they show unconditional love.

They say if you have that, life is pretty all right.

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Service animals, specifically dogs, are increasingly becoming more and more useful to individuals and families with a variety of special needs.

14 Talk to the animals

Animal communicators are helping people understand what their pets are really saying.

16 Heeding the call of dog

sledding in southern Minnesota

34 A Dog’s Tale

The Storm loves to go for a good run as much as the author does.

Usually.

3 6 Devour

No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow.

4 0 CD Reviews:

Mushing adventures at the HHH Ranch.

18 Amy’s TV Crush

• Imagine Dragons beat the sophomore curse.

• Doomtree calls on All Hands and deliver.

• Father John Misty brings us the greatest boring album of the year.

42 The Bearded Life

A conversation with Cody.

Animals > People.

19 Commonweal Theatre’s

Ibsen Festival: Norwegian heritage with a modern spin Commonweal Theatre’s annual Ibsen Festival has been called one of Southern Minnesota’s “best kept secrets.” Contributor Megan Proft seeks to make it a secret no longer.

ABOUT

So u t h e r n m i n n

Sc e n e

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So u t h e r n m in n

Sc e n e

.c o m

Sc e n

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“best friend”

Taking the first step towards getting healthy is the most difficult one.

So u t h e

Got a question about sex, love, romance or the meaning of life? MaxSCENE has an answer. Give her a shout at maxSCENE@southernminnscene.com

10 A very special kind of

32 Health in Motion

So u t h e r n m in n

’m in love. He’s dark and tough, snuggly and sweet, eager and interested in me and while he’s little bit hairy, I just know he’s the one.

His name is Arrow and he’s a Labrador/husky mix. We are meant to be.

It’s official ya’ll. I have puppy fever. Lots of my peers have baby fever, but forget that. All I want is a four-legged beast of a best friend.

With spring and summer weather on the horizon, I’m even giddier about the tiny, glimmer of hope that my landlord and roommate will allow it. I browse petfinder. com and oodle marketplace and the classifieds with an intense fervor. I visit the pages of Arrow and others like him with borderline obsession. I might be torturing myself, but love is pain.

I’ve got enough names picked out for my future canines to last half a lifetime. Of course, you can’t name a dog until you meet him and in Arrow’s case, the name is from the adoption agency.

I like Fletcher, Finn (he would need a counterpart, Huckleberry), Beowulf, Fitz and for my dream dog: Jeremy Atticus Finch, Jem for short.

Jem is a rare silver Labrador with bright blue eyes. If you can’t tell, I like classic literature a bit.

A dog has been on my mind for years and for years I’ve ended up in living situations that don’t allow for it or lifestyles that don’t allow me the time. But I’m pretty sure the time is right now. I have the time and the space. I’ve just got to brush up my persuasion skills. Practice a sales pitch for the homeowner.

People tell me I need a dog.

These people might think I need to learn responsibility or to have a constant companion. I live in a microscopic town where the only

A rabbits life.

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RICH LARSON

Rich Larson is the publisher and editor of SouthernMinn Scene. You can reach him at rlarson@ southernminnscene.com.

I

f I were to say to you “I’m autistic,” would you know what I meant?

I mean, obviously, we’ve all heard of autism, and some of you have firsthand experience with it. But on the whole, I’m guessing most of us don’t know what it is.

I didn’t until I wrote this column.

Autism has always been this big, vague condition that some people have to deal with. I know there’s an Autism Spectrum, which means there are degrees to which people can be autistic. I have a dear friend whose son has Asperger’s Syndrome, which may or may not be considered autism. I have another friend whose son is diagnosed as autistic, but to me he’s never seemed different from every other really neat kid I know.

I may very well know adults who deal with autism, but I couldn’t tell you who they are. Nobody has ever said to me, “I’m autistic.” Which brings me back around to my salient point: I wouldn’t really know what that meant.

What I do know is that the United Nations has declared April 2 as World Autism Awareness Day. This seems like as good a time as any to at least start to figure out what this is all about.

According to the Autism Speaks website (www.autismspeaks.org), autism is characterized by “social-interaction difficulties, communication challenges and a tendency to engage in repetitive behaviors.” But it’s not really even that simple to explain.

“If you know one person on the autism spectrum, then you know one person on the autism spectrum,” said Maria Musachio, who is a Special Education teacher at Arcadia Charter School in Northfield. She is certified to work with autistic students and has been in special education for 26 years.

That’s a common statement among the autistic community. It means that, like every other aspect of humanness, autism is unique to each individual.

“The brain is a puzzle,” Musachio said.

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SOMINN STATE “Autism is a neurological difference and brains just work differently.”

“The spectrum is vast,” said my pal Jamie, whose 11-year-old son is the really neat kid I mentioned. “It runs from people who are severely autistic and really can’t do anything, to the savants, like the guy who drew the entire skyline of New York from memory.”

There are some relatively common traits, however. As I understand it, autism is essentially about communication and understanding. People with autism typically process words slowly (they can tell you a line from a movie, but wouldn’t necessarily understand what it means); to varying degrees they struggle with understanding other people’s emotions; they have sensory issues (Jamie’s son doesn’t like tags or seams on his clothes); and often they’ll display some sort of repetitive behavior.

The thing is, not all autistic people have all of those traits, so it can be difficult to recognize it. But as Musachio told me, anxiety seems to be a universal trait.

“The sensory piece is tied to anxiety,” she said. “Everyone on the spectrum has to learn to deal with anxiety.”

Jamie’s son, for example, doesn’t deal well in groups of more than 10 people, or special surroundings. He likes to go to the Mall of America with his mom, but sometimes it doesn’t really work out very well.

“Sometimes there are too many people or he feels the floor moving too much or it’s too loud,” she said. “I never realized that the floors at the Mall of America moved constantly until he pointed it out.

Now I feel it every time I’m there.”

Jamie also says he’s smarter than she is. And, like a lot of autistic people, he’s fascinated with specific subjects and likes to know as much as he can about them. “[He] has several special interests,” she said. “He can recite almost any fact to you about any of them. Sometimes it’s hard to have a conversation with him because he just knows so much about certain topics

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and he doesn’t understand why people don’t know as much as he does.”

Jamie’s son is in sixth grade, but he’s also doing ninth-grade-level math and is in a couple of advanced English classes, too.

The thing that I did not know before doing a little research is that many autistic people do not recognize facial expressions or tones of voice. They have a very difficult time with subtlety and nuance. The world to an autistic person tends to be pretty black and white.

“They don’t get body language.

They don’t get facial expressions,” said Musachio. “They have to learn the rules: how to greet someone you know; how to respond to people.”

Can you imagine not understanding a furrowed brow? Never feeling the comfort of somebody’s smile?

It’s a difficult thing to get your head around and we know so little about autism that it’s difficult to educate anyone who doesn’t have a personal stake in it.

But that’s why a day like World Autism Awareness Day is important. There are many different ways to get involved and show your support, but the easiest way is through the “Light it up Blue” campaign.

Across the world you’ll see landmarks like the Empire State Building, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the Eiffel Tower and the Sydney Opera House bathed in blue light.

That same webpage, autismspeaks.org, will have a dozen or so suggestions for you to “Light it up Blue” yourself.

Mostly, the day is about taking a few minutes to consider the challenges autistic people face.

Musachio summed it up well by simply stating that “understanding breeds tolerance.”

Jamie’s son is a great example. She calls him “the best tour guide to autism that there is.”

“The only thing that’s predictable is that everything is unpredictable,” she said.

“It makes for quite the adventure. But I wouldn’t have him any other way.”

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S.O. MINN SOUND

SARAH OSTERBAUER Sarah Osterbauer is a die-hard music lover.

When she does her budget each month, food comes after concert tickets. Find her on twitter @SarahOwrites.

The identity of the artist:

Gotta hear both sides

O

nce upon a time there was a girl named Elizabeth Woolridge Grant. She grew up with wealthy parents in Lake Placid, NY. She attended boarding school in Connecticut and went to to study metaphysics at Fordham University.

Eventually she started writing songs, playing clubs and got signed to Interscope. You know her as Lana Del Rey. While many maintain that her musical identity was born not from her own desires but those of a bunch of record execs, lawyers and other various handlers, some are not so quick to judge.

Lana herself contends that she is “gangster Nancy Sinatra”, her interest in the 60’s always present, her songs and style her own.

A google image search of Lizzy Grant (one of Lana’s former stage names) shows that her appearance went through a dramatic (and daddy funded) transformation. This fact, paired with the controversy surrounding her image make her a polarizing figure. Because authenticity in art is important. We want the messages being fed to us to be the truth. We want the motivation behind them to be the heart and soul of the artist, not some suits.

Because truth is what makes great art, right?

To a certain extent, it’s fair to say that every artist is a different on stage than how they are in person. Because the stage after all, is a show. In the music industry there exists a spectrum of charade where on one end people are generally the same on stage as they are in real life, to the other end where the entire identity of the band or artist is a full on, purposeful costume. In between is where things get tricky. Take Beyonce for example. She refers to her on stage persona as Sasha Fierce, a kind of alter ego which only appears to be a very exaggerated version of Bey in her natural state. Then there’s Slipknot, who wear costumes but the motivation behind them is tied to the message in their music, which isn’t entirely fiction. And then we have Gwar, whose whole existence is based on fiction. On this spectrum, is one artist better than another because their image and message are genuine? However if the point of the band IS to be fictional, does that make it ok to be fake? Is music worse off when people create an alternate persona to present their art that is not truly representative of them or their true feelings?

We as humans like music for two reasons.

1. We relate to it, 2. it’s entertaining, and/ a mix of both. It is no secret that the music I enjoy are heartbreaking laments that take on various forms in an array of genres, but the motivation behind it is always [portrayed as] genuine. If I woke up tomorrow and found out that Sia didn’t really have a tumultuous relationship with her father, or she didn’t really struggle with alcoholism or depression, and her songs were just her made up perception of those things, that would break my heart. The great thing about music is the power it has to create a personal connection between you and the artist, If it were discovered that the connection was artificial, then it would not be as good. This is why people take issue with Lana Del Rey, Miley Cyrus, Eminem and Marilyn Manson. When

it’s not clear if the messages are coming from somewhere honest, or on the flipside, if the person cops to saying things for shock value outright, then it’s hard to give as much praise to that artist. I mean, I’ll turn into a full fledged “Woo girl” every time “Party in the USA” comes on in tha club, but that doesn’t mean I think Miley is churning out high quality tunes.

That said, there’s still an understanding that full disclosure is not required, and some fudging is allowed for privacy and/ theatrical reason. When I interviewed Chris Porterfield of Field Report, I asked him about one of his songs that mentions an incident where a man killed himself and if that was a true story. He said that it was and it led to a greater discussion on the responsibility that a songwriter has to truth. In Chris’s mind (and in mine) music is a medium that allows for truth and fiction, as well as a blend of the two. If everything he ever wrote about was all true to the letter, then he believed he wasn’t using the medium to its full potential.

That said, I would still consider Chris’s music in particular as art that comes from an authentic place. The messages he delivers are his true thoughts and feelings, not those of an alter ego or a character.

If we’re going to put an artist under the microscope and demand authenticity, then I hope that means we’re looking at ourselves the same way. At the same time, I hope we can appreciate truth in the message, and the motivation behind it even if the actual story told is part fiction. And while we’re judging art, I hope we can remember to have an appreciation that it exists to be judged in the first place.

50 Shades

releasing albums on different days so album would come out on Monday in the UK, but Tuesday in the US. Starting this summer, the organization who controls record release regulations worldwide has decided that going forward, records will be released worldwide on Fridays.

Kanye - yeah just Kanye. He happened.

RIP Spock - Leonard Nimoy passed away from endstage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease on Feb 27. One of his final tweets said “A life is like a garden.

Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory.”

Barbara Jean

James Vincent McMorrow

Beyonce

Lizzy Grant GWAR

#NowPlaying 50 Shades of Grey Soundtrack - Zero interest is seeing the movie, embarrassed that I wasted some of my life reading 2/3 of the books but whoever was in charge of the music did their job. A handful of the songs are old classics, the ones I’m digging are the originals created for the movie. I cannot rave enough about the remixed version of Bey’s “Crazy in Love”.

It is ridiculously hot and bother-y without uttering a single shred of vulgarity and Bey is is one of a handful of people who could accomplish that. And if you see an Asian chick rolling around town car dancing up a storm, it’s me listening to Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do.” James Vincent McMorrow - James is a skinny Irish dude who sings R&B slow jams disguised as folk numbers in a beautiful soulful falsetto. He’s like the love child of Bon Iver and James Blake.

Lana Del Rey

Hippo Campus

The Ericksons

Go See The Ericksons - The lovely SoMinn duo are playing The Cedar Cultural Center in Minneapolis on March 27 with Barbara Jean.

Hippo Campus - Local faves who have been making a quick rise to fame got added to The Mowgli’s national tour and will open for them April 3 at the Varsity Theater with FENCES. They also were recently signed to New York based indie label Grand Jury, who will rerelease their album Bashful Creatures in May.

Kanye West Slipknot

This Happened Worldwide record release day changed to Friday - The standard release day in the U.S for new albums has always been Tuesday. Other countries were

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Farewell Spock

Sia

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7

We’re So

Small Compared to

Our

et’s Hey l said “ picture I e im The t ake a nice girls t o the t y tr ” and ah.” r e h t N toge like “ were

By KEVIN KREIN kkrein@northfieldnews.com

T

he most common question that my wife and I are asked about why we live with rabbits is simply, “Why rabbits?” “Why not a dog or a cat?”

I used to be afraid of dogs—until quite recently, actually. So four years ago, when the discussion adopting a companion animal started, dogs were kind of out of the question at that time. And cats? Well we are both horribly allergic to cats.

But why rabbits?

The truth is I don’t even really remember if there was one specific thing. We liked watching the wild rabbits frolic in our backyard, and we had built up a nice rapport with a family of wild rabbits at a house we used to rent—they would sit under the window of our dining room and listen to my wife practice the bassoon (yes, this really happened) and one of them followed me down the sidewalk as I went to the grocery store, but when I’d turn around, it would hop away and act like it was minding its own business (yes, this also really happened.)

Rabbits, like us, are vegans. Rabbits, like us, are quiet, and relatively clean. I mean, they take meticulous care of themselves—but they can leave quite a path of destruction in their wake—again, like us, in a sense.

Hearts

And they have the best little faces. You’ve seen a rabbit’s face right? Then you know what I am talking about. If you don’t agree with me, you are some kind of awful monster.

We named our first rabbit Dennis Hopper The Rabbit, which is probably the best name for a rabbit. We adopted him from the Minnesota Companion Rabbit Society in November of 2010. He was a little guy, weighing only, like, three pounds—a tiny ball of gray fuzz with a missing front tooth. We met him at an adoption event, and when one of the volunteers picked him up and put him in my wife’s arms, he had what is affectionately called “poopy butt,” and smeared some of it on her shirt.

Dennis Hopper The Rabbit taught us a lot—a lot about ourselves, and also about the rabbit life: how smart they are, how funny they can be, how they can be resilient when necessary, and ultimately, how fragile they end up being.

Dennis Hopper The Rabbit had a lot of health problems. They started within two months after we adopted him. There was a late night trip to the animal E.R. located in the horribly dodgy end of St. Paul where we were almost possibly mugged trying to get from the E.R. back into our car; there was the blood in his urine; there was the constant misdiagnoses from a supposedly “rabbit savvy” vet; and then a month after all that, there was the gigantic bladder stone they finally found and surgically removed.

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Hey i t she’s ’s Annabe ll! An like “ d Aw follow ing m dad, stop with e aro u that came nd ra!”

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There were also the nights that I didn’t sleep, either getting up every few hours to check on him, or just staying up the whole night.

There were the 20 lbs I lost because I stopped eating.

Around a year later, Dennis Hopper The Rabbit passed away during an operation to remove an abscess tooth. We had no idea something was wrong with his tooth, and by the time the abscess was discovered, there was really nothing that could be done. It’s taken me three years, and throwing money at three different therapists to finally move past the horrible, “Italian widow” style grief I felt, and the guilty thoughts that haunted me; like that I didn’t do enough for him—that somehow this was my fault.

It wasn’t. We did everything in our power, and we did what we thought was right at the time. And what it took three years and three therapists to get me to realize was that love was enough. That in the end, he knew he was loved. And that’s all that matters.

He was small, but his heart wasn’t. He would give both me and my wife kisses on the nose. When I’d wave at him to say hello, he would come charging over to me. When we would come home at the end of the day, he would be running around in circles, waiting to be let out of his enclosure.

Dennis Hopper The Rabbit taught us a lot about compassion and selflessness—those are maybe two

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per The Dennis Hop best photo Rabbit. The taken of I have ever er. anyone, ev

of the most important things to the rabbit life. You discover that much like he was, you are so small compared to your heart.

He taught us about patience, and letting go of things that don’t really matter.

Because of the problems with his bladder, he could never make it back to his litter box to use the bathroom, so he would pee everywhere. Despite our cleaning efforts, and despite the passage of time, if the light hits the carpeting just right, you can still see little pee stains in our carpeting. It used to bother us at first; it was frustrating always having to follow him around with a towel or a rag trying to catch it before it hit the carpeting, or to try and scoot him into one of the four or five litter pans we put around for him to use.

Eventually you just kind of resign yourself to the fact that your carpeting is going to have a lot of pee stains in it, and in the end, that is okay.

You resign yourself to a lot of other things in the rabbit life—your carpeting is also never going to be clean. It, and most other surfaces in your home, will be covered in bits of hay. Rabbits eat hay—a lot of it. All day, every day. There are easy ways to store it, but there’s no easy way to present it to your rabbits for them to eat. You can put it in a nice, organized pile, but they will thrash and dig at it. They will burrow their little heads under the entire pile to find the very best piece, and then tip all of it onto the floor.

You find hay everywhere—in your bed, sticking into your foot through the bottom of your socks, the pockets of your sweatshirt. You find it in your shoes. You find it clinging to the B-side of your Arcade Fire record. Sometimes I find it my beard.

Sometimes it ends up in my food. Sometimes you find it in your underpants. How did it get there, you ask yourself. You find it clogging up a part of your washing machine, and after two or three times of a judgmental repairman coming out and chiding you about how much hay and wadded up loose fur he’s found, you learn what compartment of the washer needs to be emptied and you do it yourself.

You’d think you could vacuum up the hay, but this is another thing about the rabbit life. Rabbits do not like noise, and running the vacuum in the same room that they are in is pretty much out of the question. Cooking food is also, quite possibly, out of the question. The sizzling of something from a pan; the clicking sound the oven makes when it is

store employees over the freshness of cilantro, and why when we are going to be out late at night, we have to try to find a rabbit sitter to watch them in our absence.

W When speaking about them together, we call them “the girls”— which confuses some people, who are not aware that we have rabbits. ““The girls?” they will say with a cocked eyebrow. “Yes, the girls. Annabell and Sophie. Our rabbits.

They are girls, you ing phie, look o S ’s know.”

The girls were re e H as she as stately around four years old an. possibly c when we adopted them, and prior to that, they had been in foster care their entire lives.

The thing about the up to tempera temperarabbit life is that when it comes to an ture—these are all the end, and then begins again—you can’t expect it to worst sounds a rabbit be the same. has ever heard and leads I didn’t think I expected that they would be the them to believe that they same as Dennis, but maybe unconsciously I was. are in grave danger, de deThis is where the rabbit life teaches you more about spite the fact that they are safe, living in your home, patience. Because you have to start over from the and have never been in any kind of danger at all. beginning—you have to earn their trust, and wait You may resign yourself to want to eat “quiet for them to grow into the rabbits that they are food.” You may joke about eatig crackers, one at a meant to become. time, letting them dissolve in your mouth. SomeThe girls have lived with us for nearly three years, times you may not really be joking about it. Someand we are still earning their trust, and they are still times your spouse may disagree with how far you growing into their personalities. Annabell learned are willing to go for the well-being of your rabbits, early on how to open our bedroom door—not, like, and give you a discerning look.

Jurassic Park-style where she turns the knob, but Sometimes, other noises you may not even give a because our door doesn’t always latch closed, she’s second thought could become a problem. Your rabfigured if she pushes at it enough or digs at it, it will bit may not like Lil’ Kim’s guest verse on “Another” open, and she’ll come bursting into the room to

by The Notorious B.I.G. (yes this was a real problem investigate what is under our bed. once and the song was shut off immediately.)

The thing that the girls taught us the most is The truth is, I love my rabbits more than you love what the rabbit life is like when you have a bonded your own children. pair. Yes they are sisters so yes they fight—usually Have you ever hand sorted food to find the over who gets to use the “good” litter pan—but absolute best food for your child to eat? I hand sort when they aren’t fighting, they take care of each the best pieces out of the bunch of cilantro I buy to other. They have sister snuggles and they groom give them as a treat. I ask the produce department each other’s fur. And for four years, in and out of staff at the grocery store for fresher bunches than rabbit foster families, they were all each other had, what is out on the shelf and yes every member of so even after this long, they will interact with us, the produce department staff has rolled their eyes, but only on their terms. They don’t not need us—I or given me attitude, because of this. mean, they can’t open the refrigerator door on their I have opened bags of hay in the pet food store own (yet), but they also still have reservations about to make sure that they do not smell sour and stale. opening up to us completely and being attached to I have returned hay that was sour smelling, and us as people who are currently caring for them. yes, the employees of the pet food store have rolled The rabbit life teaches you about signs of aftheir eyes at me because of this, or have hovered fection.

You learn what a “face bonk” or a “nose around me while I sit on the floor smelling every boop” means.

You learn that eventually, if you put bag of hay on the shelf to find the best. your head in front of theirs, just maybe, one of This is what love does to you. Do I like being treated with contempt by people working minimum them will groom the top of your head—which could mean three things: “Ew, your head is dirty,” “If I do wage jobs that are unhappy with their stations in this, will you quit buggin’ me for a little while,” life? No. But I want the best for my rabbits and I am or “For a person, you’re alright. I like willing to put up with whatever it takes to make it you.” happen.

Your heart grows. You stay the Annabell and Sophie came to live with us about same size you’ve always been. a month after Dennis Hopper The Rabbit passed We’re so small compared to our away. Maybe only a month was too soon, or whatever, but the funny thing about the rabbit life is that hearts. for an animal that really makes no sounds whatsoever, our house was entirely too quiet—and my life had become a black hole of despair—in his absence.

Before we adopted the girls, I never thought of myself as a “cool rabbit dad.” With Dennis Hopper The Rabbit, he was my best friend, who also just happened to be a rabbit living in our home.

I don’t know when it was that my wife and I fully embraced our role as “rabbit parents,” but we have, which is why I do things like argue with grocery

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Kevin Krein is an expert at grief and how to process it in a healthy way. He’s also a cool rabbit dad, a general assignment reporter for the Northfield News, an “award nominated” music blogger, a book seller, a supposed “humorist” for this very magazine, and he’s kind of a jerk. He tweets about his rabbits some of the time—@KevEFly

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Photos this page courtesy of Pawsitivity Service Dogs.

A very special kind of

‘BEST FRIEND’

By AUTUMN VAN RAVENHORST autumn@vanravenhorst.com

Y

ou love your dog. Of course you love your dog. There is no beast in the world more loyal, more filled with unconditional love, more entertaining than your dog. You love that she will perform services for you, like retrieving the shopper from your doorstep or cleaning up the errant food that drops from the kitchen counter to the floor. You love that she does these things so much it’s a wonder you ever made it

through the day without her. She watches you dash naked from the bathroom to the dryer when you are running late. She knows when you’ve taken a quick swig out of the family soda bottle. She won’t tell anyone when you haven’t showered in a couple (or a few) days. She will listen to every last word you have to say about your neighbor or that horrible thing you did to your best friend in 8th grade without passing a hint of judgment. She is your companion, your confidant and your best friend.

Any dog owner will understand this. But for some, the family dog is far more than a living vacuum cleaner or someone to talk to about every thought that goes through

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Pawsitivity Service Dogs your mind. For some the family dog is the gateway to the world. For others she’s literally a life saver.

Dogs have served humans since before the Vikings (or Columbus, or whoever) ever set foot in North America. But as humanity has slowly (supposedly) gotten smarter about things, we have come to understand just how intelligent these wonderful beasts really are. As great as they are for chasing rabbits out of the garden, they’re even more useful to someone who suffers from a seizure disorder, or depression, or autism.

Over the years, a variety of animals, including birds and monkeys, have been used as dutiful service animals. In this

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Photos courtesy of assistancedogshawaii.org.

Photos courtesy of www.disabilityrightsflorida.org.

day and age, the federal government has deemed only dogs and miniature horses (yes, miniature horses) are suitable for public work (I personally would want a goat, but that isn’t important).

The government actually labels animals with specific jobs differently. A service animal is one that does work for persons with disabilities. Not for those who are hearing impaired - that is a hearing animal. Not for those who are blind because that, friends, is a guide animal (obviously).

All guide, hearing and service animals (alas, dogs and mini horses only; no goats) are protected under law to be allowed pretty much anywhere.

Unfortunately we were unable to track down anyone with a miniature horse (or a monkey or a bird, for that matter). So, for this article we will only be talking about dogs.

Honestly, as much as we’re all for diversity, and for as much as I love goats and monkeys, dogs are the perfect choice to be service animals. Give a dog a home and make it feel loved, and that dog will love you. That is what these service dogs do: they love the person they are serving, unconditionally, and they can assist those who suffer from visual difficulties, mental illness, seizures, diabetes, and autism.

Dogs have been meticulously bred for centuries, and there seems to be a breed for everything, from sledding to truffle hunting. But service dogs aren’t bred, they are trained. From what I learned, any dog has the potential of being a service dog, but Labradors and Golden Retrievers are the easiest and most prevalent because of their personality traits (those of you who have one of these breeds know what I am talking about). Many organizations choose to adopt rescues, anywhere from puppy age to mid-adult.

Tom Coleman owns Pawsitivity Service Dogs of St. Paul.

He and his wife are now in their fourth year of business and specialize in service dogs used for autism. Their interest developed from a friend who had an autistic child. They were able to provide a dog for that child, and saw tremendously positive results. At that point, the Colemans decided to start a business.

“We don’t have children ourselves, so it’s a great feeling to give back. Our philosophy is ‘changing lives, one dog at a time.’

“It is very slow,” he said. “Some of these dogs are in really rough shape and you really have to build them up. But dogs want to work 24 hours a day. So we are changing the dog’s life too.”

Smaller organizations like Pawsitivity have the advantage of being able to focus on very specific areas. The dogs

live with the Coleman’s around the clock; they do all of the training themselves. Tom said that hey truly aim to accommodate the needs of individual families. If a family says they need the dog to sleep with the person in need, Photos courtesy of www.servicedogproducts.com. then the dog is sleep-trained by camping out with Tom and his wife an individual more independence, higher self-esteem, a in their bed. content feeling, and also help them become more asser“Some places are huge and can do 40 dogs a year. That tive. Or, it could be something as simple as keeping a child is great, but autism is so specialized that small is the way to in their bed. This was Christy’s case when she adopted Baigo,” he said. ley, a Golden Retriever, from Pawsitivity for her son Henry Sometimes a dog just doesn’t work out—not every dog who has autism and also deals with several other physical is cut out for this type of service. And sometimes it is just a and developmental struggles. matter of not having the right family. But Tom makes sure “My biggest hope was that Bailey would keep Henry every dog finds a home, if not as a service companion, from running away and getting lost or injured,” she said. then as a pet. Or, in Quinn the Golden Lab’s case, they stay “Our other big issue is Henry’s chronic insomnia. He has and become a member of the Coleman family. great difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. Feeling Organizations like Pawsitivity are aided by people who Bailey next to him in bed gives him pressure input and volunteer their time to help with socializing these animals. warmth, and feeling him breathe gives him comfort like a Socialization is a huge part of service training and requires Turn many hours outside of the home. Once socialized, the dogs are ready to be adopted.

“This is relatively new for us,” said Ellen Vavra. She and her husband Tim were approached a couple years ago and asked if Photos courtesy of www.harboranimthey would be interested in helpalhospital.com. ing to socialize dogs that were being trained as therapy animals.

Socialization is such an important part of the process because these dogs need to remain calm and focused with their owners when exposed to different stimuli.

“A dog can’t just go chasing a car when a child is holding the leash,” said Ellen. “They have to be aware that people are unsteady on their feet and they need to understand commands. Socializing can involve elevators, people, downtown, traffic, trains, etc.”

It’s important to understand that these dogs don’t “fix” everything.

However, these dogs can dramatically make life much more manageable by giving

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From 11 Photos courtesy of www.3milliondogs.com.

parent lying next to him.”

As Henry got older it became much more difficult for Christy to keep him close and safe with her when they left the house. Many parents know the struggle of having a big child and not enough upper body strength to carry them into the store. But, with Henry’s challenges, Christy has to worry about much more than just lugging her kid around.

After considerable research, she found that a service dog might be a good solution.

“Henry has many medical issues and we are frequently at doctor appointments. He has a hard time waiting in line to check in and waiting in the lobby or exam room.

He doesn’t try to bolt when he is tethered to Bailey. He is much more calm and able to wait without a meltdown.”

There have been other benefits as well.

“Just last week a woman approached and asked, ‘What’s your dog’s name?’ Henry actually answered for the first time with, ‘Bailey.’ If he did not have a service dog, that opportunity to practice social skills would not have happened. Bailey is a wonderful social bridge.”

The intelligence, learning capacity and compassion of animals is underestimated far too often. Through the magic of YouTube, we’ve seen that elephants can paint pictures and Robin Williams once had a sign language conversation with a gorilla. On a personal note, I know my heathen of a dog would lick my face when I was having a bad day. Without any training at all, our dogs become our best friends.

And, trained or not, we come to depend on them for so many things that on the surface may seem insignificant, but add so much to our lives. It’s no wonder that they can work minor miracles for those with disabilities. Dogs are an amazing support system for individuals who find difficulty in some of the simplest tasks and, if nothing else, they are a

warm, fuzzy ball of comfort at night in a child’s bed.

Sometimes that’s all the comfort a family needs.

Autumn Van Ravenhorst is a staff writer for SouthernMinn Scene. Drop her a line at autumn.vanravenhorst@gmail.com.

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(Photo by Bryce Richter / UW-Madison)

By GRACE WEBB grace.webb2013@gmail.com

t’s a familiar experience for pet owners: You’re snuggled under your covers, fast asleep, when all of a sudden your cat starts meowing at the edge of your bed. Or, if you’re a dog owner, your dog starts whining. Grumbling, you roll around to check the clock, only to see it’s 3:30 in the morning.

Your pet’s food and water bowls are full.

They don’t need to do their business. There’s no reason for them to be begging for attention—but they are.

Every pet owner can relate to the frustration of not knowing what their pet wants. Animals can be infuriatingly difficult to understand. Sometimes, it’s just a minor annoyance, like not knowing why your cat is careening across the room for an hour straight while you’re trying to work. But other times, it can become a real problem: Your dog stops eating and you can’t figure out why.

Luckily, there’s a way pet owners can find out what’s going on in their pets’ minds: working with a pet communicator.

Jenny pictured with Legs, a client’s horse, while giving a clinic at Equitation Station, a dressage barn in Hastings.

“This is really my calling and my passion.

I love animals. I have the most perfect job in the world.”

- Jenny Gott

Understanding your pet For centuries, people have sought out folks who had a “gift” with animals, such as the eponymous hero in Robert Redford’s 1998 film Horse Whisperer. But only recently have “animal communicators” picked up steam in mainstream society, with businesses popping up during recent years as more people go to them for help in managing their pets.

Jenny Gott is one such animal communicator. The founder of Animal Intuition, Gott is based in Edina but travels across the state to work with clients who are at their wits’ end about how to take care of their pets. While she launched her business in 2010, she has been working with animals far before that, first her own pets and then friends’ and family members’ pets as well.

“I didn’t really think about it as much as a business for the most part,” she said. “It was kind of just a hobby and a fun way to practice. [But then] I thought, ‘It’d be really

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cool if I could help other people with their animals, too.’”

Gott took several classes, as well as earning certifications in reiki, a Japanese healing method that focuses on an animal’s (or human’s) energy.

Once she opened her business, clients started pouring in. She sees a wide variety of animals, from top-condition athletes (such as show horses) to elderly animals nearing the end of their lives or animals recovering from a trauma.

Some of her clients are regulars, while others may only come every few years or even just one time.

There are many reasons pet owners bring their animals to Gott. Some of the most common revolve around finding ways to train an animal or change its behavior. Cat owners frequently ask why their cat stopped using the litter box.

Gott said communicating with animals is all about listening to your intuition.

“Animals use their intuition all the time,” she said. “If we’re paying attention to it, we can learn to hear their messages. It doesn’t come out as a written book, but if we’re asking about pain, they can indicate where they’re having pain and what it feels like, what level of pain it is, things like that. We can sort of start to feel where that pain is coming from, so we can help.”

She said anyone can learn to tap into their natural intuition and be able to more clearly communicate with their pet. In fact, she teaches her clients ways to get through to their pets so they don’t need to come back to her so often.

She also teaches animal communication classes, with her next one coming up on April 11 at the Little House in Inver Grove Heights.

“The way that we’ve been brought up in our society isn’t to pay attention to our institution,” she said. “It is definitely something that you have to learn. Intuition is just another sense. It takes work, practice and dedication.”

For Gott, every appointment is different. Some clients come with a list of questions they want to ask their pets, while others prefer to have a free-flowing conversation. The length of time varies as well. Some clients do everything over the phone, while others bring their pets in to Gott (or she goes to their homes) for a face-to-face session.

Gott also offers animal massages, mostly for dogs and horses. These massages incorporate animal communication because she talks to the animals to see what is the best way to massage their bodies. Many of her clients’ pets are either elderly animals suffering from mobility issues or animal athletes working through physical trauma or therapy.

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She recommends a regular maintenance massage once a month.

“It’s for their physical well being but also their emotional well being,” she said, adding that some of the animals appear to really enjoy themselves during their massages.

Gott stressed that she isn’t a replacement for a veterinarian; on the contrary, she encourages people to take their animals to the vet and thinks animal communicators and vets can complement each other.

“This is really my calling and my passion,” she said. “I love animals. I have the most perfect job in the world.”

Communicating beyond the grave While animal communicators such as Gott can be helpful for owners trying to figure out their pets’ day-today desires, some owners have a different dilemma: Their pet has died, but they don’t feel at peace yet about the situation. That’s where pet psychics such as Janice Carlson come in.

Carlson, who works in Savage, has worked with pet owners (as well as people looking to communicate with other humans) since around 1992 when she accidentally discovered an ability to communicate with spirits. She was visiting a friend’s “haunted” house when she said she suddenly realized who was haunting it—her friend’s mother.

“I started feeling like her mother wanted to talk to her,” Carlson said. “I was certainly as surprised as she was.”

While Carlson didn’t quit her day job (writing advertising and novels), she did start offering her services to people who were grieving from recent losses.

“It was so helpful and healing to her that I said to myself, ‘If I can continue to do this, I will,’” she said. “I lost two parents by the time I was 10, so I was no stranger to death. I just didn’t feel like our society does much to help with grief.”

Carlson does several sessions a week with clients, mostly

Jenny with her dog Bodi, a boxer/great dane mix, and Emily a black terrier. over the phone. Of those clients, she said about 1 in 15 is a pet owner—and the number of pet owners has been growing in recent years as more people learn about the opportunity.

She said the most common question pet owners want to know is whether their pet understood the need to be euthanized. Other questions include whether the pet’s spirit stayed at the vet clinic, if their pet went to heaven, and how their pet is feeling now that it’s on “the other side.”

When it comes to communicating with these animals, Carlson explained that the pets use mental images to talk with her instead of words.

“Pets generally speak in images, and more emotionally,” she said. “They’ll show you an image of their favorite toy.

It’s mainly just mental images. I’m always kind of struck by how much a pet can show me of the household they were in when they were alive, but often it’s the floors and the

ANIMAL COMMUNICATOR JENNY GOTT Gott’s Animal Communication Class is on April 11 from 9:30 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Little House in Inver Grove Heights. The cost is $135 per person. Register by April 3.

She is also offering a workshop titled “Using Essential Oils with Animals” on May 6 from 5:30-7 p.m. at Chuck & Don’s Pet Food Store in Edina. Cost is $25.

To register for these workshops or to learn more about Gott’s services, visit her website at animal-intuition.com. You can also call 952-484-4396 or email her at info@animalintuition.com.

rugs. I see things from their perspective.”

As for that question of whether all dogs go to heaven, Carlson has this to say: “One of the things that I know happens is that [pets] are greeted by other pets and people they’ve known on earth, who are already on the other side. Maybe it’s the mother of their litter… sometimes it’s a former pet in that same household. They also seem to gain insights into the times when their owners did things for them that they might have understood, like not running into the street.

They tend to get a bigger view of everything that happened.”

Carlson said the most challenging part of her sessions is making sure she’s talking to the right pet, especially when there might be several dead pets who don’t want to “wait their turn” to talk.

“They just all kind of run at you at once, and you have to sort everyone out,” she said. “It can be a little more confusing to figure out what pet you’re talking to. Pets all think they’re invited.”

Carlson has also used her abilities to speak with her own pets, from a childhood cat to dogs she has had to put to sleep.

She encourages anyone to give her a try.

“It might be a tearful experience, but you can’t underestimate how healing this is,” she said. “Having a one-onone session with a medium, it’s really a healing thing. It kind of helps clear up the unfinished business around their death. It gives you a chance to have a voice with your pet and your pet to have a voice with you.”

Grace Webb is a freelance writer in Southern Minnesota who has never doubted that all dogs go to heaven. Cats too. She can be contacted at grace. webb2013@gmail.com

Jenny and her horse Indy.

PET PSYCHIC JANICE CARLSON Janice Carlson has written a book, Soul Sensing, about her experiences communicating with deceased pets, as well as offering ways that pet owners can talk to their pets personally. Soul Sensing is available on Amazon.com as well as Carlson’s website, janicecarlson.com.

Carlson will be offering a book presentation on May 16 at the Cannon Falls Public Library as well as a workshop on Aug. 2 from 1-3 p.m. in Hastings. The cost is $35. To reserve a spot, email Carlson at dearashlan@ aol.com.

To schedule a session with Carlson, call 952-934-1196. A half-hour phone session costs $45 and an hour-long session costs $75. In-person sessions start at $125 per hour and are conducted at Living Waters Market in Minnetonka. Carlson offers a money-back guarantee if the client’s pet is unable to be contacted Janice Carlson pictured with her dog Buzzbee.

Janice Carlson’s book Soul Sensing.

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Dawn Lanning leads a team of dogs at Lake Byllesby Regional Park in Cannon Falls. Lanning operates HHH Ranch out of Hastings, which offers horseback riding and dog sledding trips.

(Nick Gerhardt/Northfield News)

16 W W W. S O U T H E R N M I N N SCENE. C O M U A P R I L 2 0 1 5

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Kris Poppie drives a dog sled with Shawn Lanning riding at Lake Byllesby Regional Park in Cannon Falls. Lanning works with his mother, Dawn, on the HHH Ranch in Hastings and offers dog sledding trips in the winter.

(Nick Gerhardt/ Northfield News)

By NICK GERHARDT ngerhardt@northfieldnews.com

D

og sledding lives in lore thanks to Jack London’s The Call of the Wild, in which a dog named Buck is stolen from his home and sold into service as sled dog in Alaska. The compelling story is about conquering enormous challenges and tapping into a reservoir of inner strength. London makes his points set against the exhilarating landscape of the American frontier.

While she has no intent of helping anybody turn into a feral beast, Dawn Lanning has provided people the opportunity to live out some of that exhiliration for the past several years.

Lanning runs HHH Ranch out of Hastings, where she cares for 41 Siberian and Alaskan huskies and offers dog sledding adventures for those willing to brave the elements and experience an old tradition. Lanning runs dogs near Lake Byllesby in Cannon Falls on a trail designated for dog sledding and skijoring.

Lanning offers educational opportunities for children and others to check another item off their bucket list. In 2002, Lanning bought a 61acre farm outside of Hastings to raise huskies and horses. Since then she’s offered horseback riding in the summer and dog sledding in the winter.

It started with one husky and soon developed into a dog-sledding venture. A co-worker of Lanning’s mother had difficulty with their husky and asked Lanning to take care of it after numerous escapes. Lanning added another husky from her son soon after and before she knew it she had 41 dogs and got into dog sledding.

Lanning, who has worked with Multek in Northfield as a process engineer since 1995, started mushing 17 years ago after taking some classes and working with a group out of Preston, Minnesota.

As people saw her on the trails they became interested in whether they too, could try dog sledding.

“People would see me or know that I did that and ask me if I could come and do this thing or

that thing as a favor,” Lanning said. “I started doing some of that. It was costly to keep the dogs, so that’s when I started thinking I should at least be getting something to feed these dogs sort of thing. It just kind of grew from there.”

Through word of mouth, Lanning has worked with area Boy Scout troops and participates in a program at the Tomahawk Scout Reservation near Rice Lake, Wisconsin. Lanning has also taken dogs and sleds to Minnehaha Academy for the past five years for a preschool class. And, she has participated in winter festivals like Lakeville’s Ritterfest and showed the dogs off at the Holidazzle Village.

“That’s probably the best part of this,” Lanning said. “I can support my dogs and still have fun and do something I love and share it with a bunch of people.”

Recently, cousins Kris Poppie and JoLynn Bucki tried out dog sledding to commemorate their mutual 50th birthdays. Since then, they have selected an adventure to try out each month.

“I thought it was peaceful because it was bark, bark, bark, bark, bark and then they went and it was quiet,” Poppie said.

Poppie compared the experience to downhill skiing while she sat in the sled, and Bucki described driving like water skiing because of the shifting she had to do while the dogs ran on the 2.58-mile loop at Lake Byllesby Regional Park in Cannon Falls.

Lanning has had marriage proposals take place on dog sledding treks and horseback riding adventures.

Lanning’s son, Shawn, leads people on dog sledding trips during the winter, and relies on volunteers to help care for the dogs.

Melissa Bernhard of Northfield Community Services recently received a grant from Allina Health and has planned on using the grant money to offset costs for a horseback riding trip this June and a dog sledding day in December − using the services of Lanning’s dogs, sled and expertise.

Dawn Lanning gives instruction on operating a dog sled to Kris Poppie (left) and JoLynn Bucki (right) at Lake Byllesby Regional Park in Cannon Falls. Lanning offers dog sledding trips. (Nick Gerhardt/Northfield News)

Dawn Lanning’s dogs wait in harnesses after a run at Lake Byllesby Regional Park in Cannon Falls. (Nick Gerhardt/Northfield News)

Shawn Lanning guides a dog sled at Lake Byllesby Regional Park in Cannon Falls. Lanning and his mother, Dawn, offer dog sledding trips during the winter. (Nick Gerhardt/ Northfield News)

Nick Gerhardt is the Northfield News’ sports editor, and a frequent contributor to SouthernMinn Scene. Reach him at ngerhardt@northfieldnews.com, or follow him on Twitter @ NorthfieldNick.

JoLynn Bucki drives a team of dogs while Dawn Lanning sits in the sled at Lake Byllesby Region Park in Cannon Falls.

Bucki and her cousin Kris Poppie tried out dog sledding through Lanning, who runs HHH Ranch, and offers dog sledding treks.

(Nick Gerhardt/ Northfield News)

MORE INFORMATION The HHH Ranch is locate at 16032 180th Street E in Hastings.

To contact Dawn Lanning and the ranch staffers, visit www.hhhranch.net, or call 651-338-2792

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AMY’S TV CRUSH

Pondering.

A Conversation with Vintage.

AMY MERRITT Amy Merritt is a renowned Southern Minnesota television critic, but even she’ll tell you that she’s far easier to please than Cody. Reach her at amystvcrush@gmail.com

Excuse me I’m trying to nap.

AM: Um. Ok. So you seem to lead a fairly unencumbered life. What is the secret?

CM: I know that I make it look easy, but I have worked for years to achieve the luxury I now enjoy. For example, it wasn’t until I was middleaged that I learned to get my way by crying.

Let me tell you, that was a revelation! For the first half of my life I communicated with tiny squeaks, violent physical outbursts, and barfing if I didn’t like my food. Now I just yowl until you give me what I want.

AM: Interesting. You do still barf though.

W

Lying in the sun.

hen Cody ody was a kitten he was a typical terror. He made my roommates cry when he would burrow under the covers and attack their feet.

He could not resist dumping a bowl of cereal into your lap with his giant kitty paws. It was not unusual to find him perched on top of the refrigerator ready to pounce on your head. Of course, he chilled out some after that bit of unpleasantness at the vet that most young pets endure.

A couple of years down the road, Cody settled into being a lazy giant with an addiction to running tap water.

We’ve gotten along pretty well for almost 19 years, but I have to say that some of his “idiosyncrasies” have gotten a little out of hand. As a younger cat, he caused a little trouble. As I said, he was very large, but he liked to sleep in small spaces. Unfortunately, this included squeezing his enormous body onto a narrow windowsill for a nap. He unexpectedly fell right through the screen of the second story apartment window, terrifying an elderly couple on the sidewalk below. He was fine, by the way, pretty spry for a 17-pounder. Another time, he escaped his Hipster. comfortable indoor life for a chance to explore the muddy rural landscape. I searched for him for about two hours, but he finally returned on his own because he needed to use the litter box. This was probably an early clue that this cat was

18 W W W. S O U T H E R N M I N N SCENE. C O M U A P R I L 2 0 1 5

either very stupid, or a little too comfortable with the cushy life I was providing. As we sat down to talk, I think you’ll see that it was the latter.

Here is the unedited transcript of my conversation with Cody: AM: Hey Buddy. So glad we could finally sit down to talk. How have you been?

CM: Before we begin, I want to address some of the issues with my appearance rider. I think it was clear that I require gentle lifting onto the bathroom sink for water at least three times beginning at 6am sharp. By my count, I’ve only been up there twice. Secondly, I specifically requested Friskies Tasty Treasures, Ocean Whitefish and Tuna. I thought it went without saying that I do not enjoy and will not consume chicken of any kind.

CM: What can I say? Sometimes my tummy hurts. I’m an old man.

AM: Yeah. You really are extremely old.

You must’ve learned a lot in your long life.

CM: Really just that yowling thing. Oh—I’ve also learned that knocking stuff off the coffee table is an effective attention-getter.

AM: I’ve noticed that as well. Is there any way you would consider not knocking over full glasses of water?

CM: I think we both know the answer to that.

AM: Right. Just a few more questions then.

Over the years, I’ve called you many nicknames—Co Diddley, Coderoni, C-Dog, C Diddy. Do you have a favorite?

CM: I really prefer my full name: Codependent. You should hear what I call you.

Cody in the laundry.

AM: Wow. This is reAM: I apologize. Your ally fun. Moving on tastes change every then. This column is usually about my other day, so nothing really goes without love for television, which is only second saying. Can we move on? to my love for you. We watch together CM: Meow. every night, and I was wondering if you have a favorite show?

AM: I thought we could start with you telling us a little about yourself.

CM: I have the attention span, memory and sleep habits of a cat. I can’t be bothered with all CM: What an excellent topic. I am approximately 94 years old. My hobbies include watch- that human stuff. Except for the Kardashians, of course. I think I have a lot in common with that ing television, soul-quenching naps, sitting in Kim. She definitely knows how to get attention. boxes and eating plants. I also enjoy taunting She should know that I had a giant ass long the barn cats, sleeping in the patch of sun on before she did, though. the dining room table and half-assed grooming. Pet peeves include when you stop petting AM: There is no denying that. My final me and that mouse that was in the kitchen last question: What is your favorite swear winter. word?

AM: You know, you are a cat. You could CM: (unprintable expletive) have taken care of that mouse yourself.

AM: I love you, Coderoni.

CM: (giant yawn) I have no idea what you are talking about.

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Playwright and Ibsen adaptor Jeffrey Hatcher.

Master Builder director Lee Gundersheimer.

Commonweal Theatre’s Ibsen Festival:

Norwegian

HERITAGE WITH A MODERN SPIN

By MEGAN PROFT megan.proft@gmail.com

I

f you’ve ever been to a Shakespeare festival… you’re in the vast majority of avid theatergoers.

If you’ve ever been to an Ibsen festival… you’ve probably been to Lanesboro, Minn.

The Commonweal Theatre Company will host the 18th annual Ibsen Festival on April 18 and 19 in Lanesboro. The festival is a community-wide celebration featuring theater, art exhibitions, music, lectures, and food and drink that celebrate Norwegian playwright Henrik Ibsen and Scandinavian culture.

The festival has been a tradition in the community since 1998, bringing people back each year to enjoy its uniqueness.

Jeremy van Meter, festival associate director and communications manager at Commonweal, said things all began when arts leaders decided to team up with the theater to create an annual festival.

“The arts center and arts council wanted to create a Norwegian festival around an annual production of Ibsen,” van Meter said. “We are the only theater company in the country that does a specific Ibsen play every year.”

But of all playwrights to honor with a festival, why choose Ibsen?

Van Meter said the correlation to Ibsen is clear when you simply look at the region where Lanesboro is and the people who live there.

“The whole connection was to choose the

cultural heritage of the area,” van Meter said.

“It just made sense as a theater company to connect to Norway’s most prolific playwright.”

The festival has evolved over time, with new and changing community tie-ins each year, but Commonweal’s production remains the central event of the weekend.

Lee Gundersheimer is the director of this year’s show, The Master Builder. While this is his first time directing for the Ibsen Festival, he’s no stranger to festivals.

Gundersheimer is the Managing Director of Winona’s Great River Shakespeare Festival and has more than 35 years of professional acting and directing. He said he feels Commonweal’s open-minded, creative approach to presenting Ibsen is worthy of a festival.

“Commonweal is brave enough to look at these plays in whatever lens the creative team and directors choose to,” Gundersheimer said. “[The festival] serves as a touchstone for people to remember how great this artist was and the themes he’s discussing and having you reflect on aren’t mothy or old… these great works need to be celebrated.”

The Master Builder is the story of Halvard Solness, a successful architect. But like any Ibsen play, it’s far from a simple story.

Though Ibsen’s plays are complex and sometimes very dark, Gundersheimer said that the characters struggle with the same things many of us do: fear, success, death, loneliness and the struggles of life.

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Henrik Ibsen

Ibsen Cube

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19

From 19 “It’s always hard when you’re talking about an Ibsen play to put it into one thing,” Gundersheimer said. “What he’s actually saying is very modern and relatable; he’s tackling very modern things and themes.”

While the themes might be modern, that doesn’t always readily come across to audiences.

Luckily for the Commonweal, they have an advantage.

And his name is Jeffrey Hatcher.

Hatcher, a Minnesota playwright and screenwriter, has been working with Commonweal for six years, adapting an Ibsen play for the theater’s annual production. He works with the play to create an adaption that best suits the company and audience. That can mean streamlining dialogue,

combining characters or even eliminating a scene.

“I tend to do what you would call a very basic translation,” Hatcher said. “A lot of the time it’s simply editing things down, things you might not need.”

Hatcher said it’s his goal to make Ibsen more accessible while staying true to the work’s original intent.

“People are often wary of Ibsen… because they think he’s stodgy.

They worry that it’s very proper or stiff,” Hatcher said.

Gundersheimer said Hatcher’s abilities have been a great contribution to the company’s production of The Master Builder.

“I think what Jeff does is he dusts off the feeling that Ibsen is too dense or too musky or old, and goes right to the core of what Ibsen is talking about,” Gundersheimer said. “Jeff Hatcher is sort of a national treasure. He’s the

real deal. He’s sort of a best-kept theater secret.”

If an adaptation still doesn’t put your mind at ease when it comes to attending an Ibsen play, Gundersheimer said not to shy away.

“I would just love for people who might be a little Ibsenphobic… I just would say to you, this play will surprise you beyond belief,” Gundersheimer said.

To be sure, The Master Builder is the the centerpiece of the 2015 Ibsen Festival, but it stands among many great events over the course of the weekend.

The festival coordinators are particularly excited about two special lecturers, van Meter said, both of whom will speak on topics relevant to The Master Builder.

Darrell Henning will present on Norwegian architecture and church design at 11 a.m. and Dr. Marvin Carlson, keynote speaker, will present on the main character of the play at 1:30 p.m. on Saturday, April 18.

From book signings to specialty cocktails, there are events all around the community that make the Ibsen Festival unique, van Meter said.

“It’s such a niche thing. It’s a one-of-a-kind weekend.”

For more information about the Commonweal Theatre or a schedule of Ibsen Festival events, visit www.commonwealtheatre.org or www.ibsenfest. org.

Megan Proft is a Southern Minnesota freelance writer and a frequent contributor to SouthernMinn Scene. She can be reached at megan.proft@gmail.com

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Sounds

By SARAH OSTERBAUER editor@southernminnscene.com

B

y now, most of you have heard of the Mid West Music Festival. It’s an ambitious three (and-a-half) day event in Winona that showcases dozens of different performers playing all kinds of genres of music on at least ten different stages throughout the town. The success of MWMF has been characterized as a “minor miracle” in this magazine, but that doesn’t tell even a fraction of the story. Yes, the focus is on great music and, yes, the hopes of the organizers are that the annual late April event will be everyone’s favorite weekend of the year. But to the community minded people behind te festival, MWMF has the power to be even more.

The slogan for Mid West Music Fest is “where music and community meet”. The nonprofit arm of the festival, “Sounds Like School,” is where that slogan comes to life.

By fostering relationships between musicians and schools, the Sounds Like School program gives the younger people in the community a chance to experience music they otherwise would not. They also are giving the musicians a chance to grow their fan base, make connections with other musicians and engage the community.

The program, officially just a year or so old, was born as a result of MWMF’s desire to expand the educational side of their mission. Like most things that happen with the festival, it came up organically. The organizers of MWMF always offer a number of artist workshops both during the festival weekend and throughout the year, and they had good relationships with the two colleges in town.

When a teacher from one of the local schools approached Sounds Like School director Park-

School

er Forsell and told him he had some students who were interested in writing about MWMF, Forsell was more than happy to provide the students with press passes. This was one of the many sparks that lit the flame of getting the musicians in front of a younger audience.

Many of the MWMF venues are age restricted due to the sale of alcohol and many of the events throughout the year, both restricted and non-restricted, start at 9 p.m. or later.

If young people were eager to see and hear all the fantastic music that flowed through MWMF, then he thought the festival owed it to these students to give them more opportunities. From there, an official committee was formed, nonprofit registration was filed and the ideas started to flow.

For the 2015 Sounds Like School season, there are eight events leading up to the festival (Mid West Music Fest is April 24-25). The most recent event, this past February, featured Americana fiddlers Jillian Rae and LOTT. The show was particularly special because not only did Jillian perform for the students, she performed with them as well. The Cotter High School show choir was able to perform with Jillian, while another student played piano with LOTT. For Forsell, this is “an ideal scenario,” bringing the students in close contact with the musicians and allowing them to interact with each other.

The students are also instrumental in helping to organize the event (the level of involvement depending on age group), promote the event, take pictures, and create other media that may be used during the performance.

At the college level, students are expected to facilitate the use of the event space (reserve the area, set up sound, etc) and also provide logistics for the artist as far as acquiring a

parking pass and anything else they may need. This way the students are not only engaged in the music but also the business side of organizing an event.

For the first time this year, Sounds Like School will have their own stage at the festival. Forsell hopes to find more young acts for this stage and in the future hopes to give students in the area the opportunity to play the stage as well. He sees it as a way to help them grow as musicians and performers. The other big event during the festival is the Children’s Instrument Petting Zoo, where instruments are set out for kids to try out. It’s a prime spot for people to witness the magic that happens when a young person discovers a new love and new talent for playing an instrument.

Sounds LIke School is a unique program in that it serves the interests of students and musicians equally. Students who are not old enough to see a band play at Ed’s (no-name) Bar now have the opportunity to see that band. And the band, who would otherwise only get to play one show late at night, knocks out two shows in one day, making better use of their travel time, and expanding their fan base. It also engages them in the community and really showcases that Minnesota spirit of supporting and promoting our own. During the festival, the artists get to interact with other artists they might not otherwise meet, and it’s from these meetings that new and amazing musical creations are born.

Now that Sounds Like School has gotten the initial ball rolling, the initiative has taken on a life of its own. Director Forsell is getting requests from other schools; students are coming up with their own ways to incorporate music into their day on a regular basis; and the ideas just keep coming. In the future,

now that the program will be in place year round, Forsell would like to do a music camp for kids in the summer. Jillian Rae does one in the Twin Cities and he would like to partner with her to get one going in Winona as well.

For the time being, they are only involved in Winona State University, Saint Mary’s, one high school, and one elementary school, but he hopes to expand the program into the public schools as well. The exciting thing about the program is seeing students get excited to the point where they’re the ones coming up with the ideas. And the beauty of working with schools is that every year you get a new group of eyes and ears on which to make impression.

It is obvious to anyone involved in the local music scene that we are lucky to count Mid West Music Fest as our own, because they have a lot to brag about in their own right. But we should feel luckier still that we have a program like Sounds Like School. You could call it Minnesota’s own musician “farm system” (yes, that’s a baseball reference).

We’re growing music fans in Southern Minnesota and we’re raising them to love music, to learn how to create it, appreciate it, and support those who make it. We’re fostering a community that knows nothing other than how to support each other. While it’s fantastic of course to have a thriving arts community, what makes the program so special and magical are the relationships that come out of the experience. Because you can put a bunch of people in the same room but you can’t force them to become friends. What you can do is provide materials and a space for them to form those relationships on their own, and that is what Sounds Like School is all about.

Sarah Osterbauer is the Southern Minn Scene music columnist.

She’s a music critic and loves to meet the people who make the city’s heart beat. Follow her on twitter @SarahOwrites.

PHOTOS CLOCKWISE STARTING UPPER LEFT: J.E. Sunde performs during a Sounds Like School event at St. Mary’s College in Winona. Rae was later joined during her performance by the St. Cecilia show choir. (courtesy Mid West music Fest.) Parker Forsell. Winona native Jake Ilika performs at St. Mary’s College for a Sounds Like School event.

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The Charlie Daniels Band April 19th - 4 p.m.

Jackpot Junction, Morton

ARTS

MAR 20-26: Joy of Quilting: 20-Mar, 9:00 AM, Northfield Senior Center, 1651 Jefferson Parkway, Northfield, Free. Bring your own quilting project to work on in the company of other crafters, from 9 a.m. to noon the first and third Friday of the month at the Northfield Senior Center.. http://www.northfieldseniorcenter.org/.

507-664-3700”Twelve Dancing Princesses The Art of ‘T’: 20-Mar, 1:00 PM, Edina Art Center, 4701 West 64th Street, Edina, Free. The 20th letter in the alphabet is the stimulus for this exhibition of 10 artists.

This eclectic display of artwork is designed to highlight what ‘T’ means to the maker.

The inspiration may come from the sound or shape of the letter; the use of the letter in a word like; meTal or TexTure or the interpretation of ‘T’ into; tiles, tea, toads, tea ware, t-pots, t-towels, paintings of tea drinker’s and many art objects ‘T’ related!. http://edinamn. gov/index.php?section=2015-galleryschedule#mcpge. (952) 903-5780”Kids Pottery: Oval Pitcher Gallery Opening: 20-Mar, 5:00 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, Free. All Area School Student Exhibition Second Floor Gallery Exhibition Runs March 6-April 4. http://www.paradisecenterforthearts.org. “Huck Finn Mary’s Wedding: 20-Mar, 7:30 PM, Commonweal Theatre, 208 Parkway Ave N., Lanesboro, $20 . Charlie and Mary are falling in love, but their relationship is tested as Charlie is called to defend his country at the onset of World War I. When letters are not enough, the two transcend reality and meet again one night in Mary’s dream. The Commonweal Apprentice Company proudly presents this moving and inspiring tale of what it can mean to truly love someone.. http://www.commonwealtheatre.org/calendar. html. 507-467-2905”Hir Ron Lamprecht: 20-Mar, 8:30 PM,

thebootcom

Dangerfields Comedy, 1583 East First Avenue, Shakopee, $15 . Hes a creative storyteller whose expressions and willingness to take the fall make him a crowd favorite.

Growing up one of five kids and now having three of his ownyoure going to love seeing how normal your family is in comparison.. http://dangerfieldscomedy.com/?p=1003.

952-445-2245 Bryan Callen: 20-Mar, 9:45 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Born in the Phillipines, Callen spent the first fourteen years of his life overseas in countries like India, Pakistan, Lebanon, Greece and Saudi Arabia, before moving to the U.S. He went to highschool in Massachusettes and earned his B.A. in History at the American University in Washington D.C. Bryan Callen has spent the last 17 years in Los Angeles fighting traffic because that’s where he seems to find the most work. (Bryan Callen is also writing this but making it seem like someone ELSE is writing this by refering to himself in the 3rd person) Callen got his start as an original cast member of MAD TV. He then went on to play numerous roles on the small and big screen including, ‘Old School’ ‘Bad Santa’, ‘Sex and the City’, ‘Entourage,’ ‘Californication’, ‘7th Heaven,’ ‘King of Queens,’ ‘Stacked,’ ‘Las Vegas,’ ‘West Wing,’’News Radio,’ ‘Significant

Others,’ ‘CSI,’ ‘NYPD Blue,’’Suddenly Susan,’ and ‘Frasier.’ He recently finished a two season character arc on USA’s’In Plain Sight’. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=191.

Mary Poppins: 21-Mar, 1:00 PM, Chanhassen Dinner Theatre, 501 West 78th Street, Chanhassen, $45-$74. Based upon the iconic Disney animated film, MARY POPPINS is a family musical featuring breathtaking dance numbers and unforgettable songs including: ‘Chim Chim Cher-ee,’ ‘A Spoonful of Sugar,’ ‘Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ and ‘Let’s Go Fly A Kite.’ What could be more jolly?. https://www.chanhassendt.com/Online/ default.asp?doWork::WScontent::loadArticl e=Load&BOparam::WScontent::loadArticle ::article_id=AB39F4B0-CAB6-4764-8A4CF753DC30C9C6&menu_id=34A2A29D36A0-4A46-84D0-1B8E50B022A7&sToken=1 %2C6ddfafb4%2C546fbb60%2C779522F304C4-44A8-B370-795AE34997AB%2CxH4% 2FuGXepkUaTgezM1N3exDw54Q%3D. (952) 934-1525”A Midsummer Night’s Dream Bryan Callen: 21-Mar, 7:00 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Born in the Phillipines, Callen spent the first fourteen years of his life overseas in countries like India, Pakistan, Lebanon, Greece and Saudi Arabia, before moving to the U.S. He went to

highschool in Massachusettes and earned his B.A. in History at the American University in Washington D.C. Bryan Callen has spent the last 17 years in Los Angeles fighting traffic because that’s where he seems to find the most work. (Bryan Callen is also writing this but making it seem like someone ELSE is writing this by refering to himself in the 3rd person) Callen got his start as an original cast member of MAD TV. He then went on to play numerous roles on the small and big screen including, ‘Old School’ ‘Bad Santa’, ‘Sex and the City’, ‘Entourage,’ ‘Californication’, ‘7th Heaven,’ ‘King of Queens,’ ‘Stacked,’ ‘Las Vegas,’ ‘West Wing,’’News Radio,’ ‘Significant Others,’ ‘CSI,’ ‘NYPD Blue,’’Suddenly Susan,’ and ‘Frasier.’ He recently finished a two season character arc on USA’s’In Plain Sight’. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=191. “The Fox on the Fairway Ron Lamprecht: 21-Mar, 8:30 PM, Dangerfields Comedy, 1583 East First Avenue, Shakopee, $15 . Hes a creative storyteller whose expressions and willingness to take the fall make him a crowd favorite.

Growing up one of five kids and now having three of his ownyoure going to love seeing how normal your family is in comparison.. http://dangerfieldscomedy.com/?p=1003.

952-445-2245 Bryan Callen: 21-Mar, 9:30 PM, House

It is no secret, as I have expressed multiple times through these calendar highlights, that I hate mainstream country. Off with its head. All I hear is the same monotonous melody and lyrics of tractors, boobs, and whining. A whole lotta whining. Good country music has not disappeared; you just have to get past the disgrace that is the Top 40 (#sorrynotsorry for all you hash-taggers) and American Idol auditions to find those true country artists.

Charlie Daniels’ contributions to country and southern rock span over 50 years. He is timeless. This band is much more than the guys who sang The Devil Went Down to Georgia. He has fallen in to multiple genres and has claimed awards that span further than just country. His work was noticed by Bob Dylan and Daniel’s inevitably began a journey of his own after having worked with the legend. His newest project is dedicated to Dylan, someone he feels “changed the face of music forever” by knocking down the “restrictive, bubble gum, three minute a side, Tin Pan Alley world” that is popular music. Jackpot Junction is a great place to hear some of these new, striking tracks and of course some of the classics. www.jackpotjunction.com/entertainment/ – – Autumn Van Ravenhorst, editor@southernminnscene.com

of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Born in the Phillipines, Callen spent the first fourteen years of his life overseas in countries like India, Pakistan, Lebanon, Greece and Saudi Arabia, before moving to the U.S. He went to highschool in Massachusettes and earned his B.A. in History at the American University in Washington D.C. Bryan Callen has spent the last 17 years in Los Angeles fighting traffic because that’s where he seems to find the most work. (Bryan Callen is also writing this but making it seem like someone ELSE is writing this by refering to himself in the 3rd person) Callen got his start as an original cast member of MAD TV. He then went on to play numerous roles on the small and big screen including, ‘Old School’ ‘Bad Santa’, ‘Sex and

the City’, ‘Entourage,’ ‘Californication’, ‘7th Heaven,’ ‘King of Queens,’ ‘Stacked,’ ‘Las Vegas,’ ‘West Wing,’’News Radio,’ ‘Significant Others,’ ‘CSI,’ ‘NYPD Blue,’’Suddenly Susan,’ and ‘Frasier.’ He recently finished a two season character arc on USA’s’In Plain Sight’. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=191.

The Fox on the Fairway: 22-Mar, 2:00 PM, Lakeville Area Arts Center, 20965 Holyoke Avenue, Lakeville, $13 . A tribute from Ken Ludwig to the great English farces of the 1930s and 1940s, The Fox on the Fairway takes audiences on a hilarious romp which pulls the rug out from underneath the stuffy denizens of a private country club. A charmingly madcap adventure about love, life, and mans eternal love affair with...

golf!. http://test.lakevillemn.gov/index. php?option=com_jevents&task=icalrepeat. detail&evid=5765&Itemid=1364&year=2015 &month=03&day=20&title=the-fox-on-the-f airway&uid=30f3638264cf41513255dec11b 4c5031. “The Debutante’s Ball Mary Poppins: 22-Mar, 6:30 PM, Chanhassen Dinner Theatre, 501 West 78th Street, Chanhassen, $45-$74. Based upon the iconic Disney animated film, MARY POPPINS is a family musical featuring breathtaking dance numbers and unforgettable songs including: ‘Chim Chim Cher-ee,’ ‘A Spoonful of Sugar,’ ‘Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ and ‘Let’s Go Fly A Kite.’ What could be more jolly?. https://www.chanhassendt.com/Online/ default.asp?doWork::WScontent::loadArticle =Load&BOparam::WScontent::loadArticle::a

The Okee Dokee Brothers April 17th - 6:30 p.m.

Martin County Library, Fairmont My thoughts were riddled with “I will never do that, they will never eat this, and they will not watch that” each time I was pregnant. I swore Thomas the Train would not so much as be on a sticker in my house and yet there he is, battery operated, rolling past me singing about the islands of Sodor. I love my two boys dearly but there really is a limit to what I will succumb myself to. I will not attend a Wiggles concert or anything equally as creepy. Luckily, my terrible toddler has a great taste in music and The Okee Dokee Brothers are right up his alley.

The two brothers were raised in the rugged landscape of Colorado and sing about exploring the outdoors in hopes of encouraging children and families to do the same. That’s more than I can say for mainstream pop telling their listeners to “shake it like ham sammich.” Just because they will win favor of a two year old shouldn’t turn away parents of older children or no children at all. And they certainly should not be mistaken for a Freddy Spaghetti act. They have a very unique folk style that has been recognized by USA Today and NPR. And they won a Grammy award. Yes, it was for Best Children’s Music Album. But it’s a Grammy, damn it.. www.okeedokee.org/shows/ Photo credit Alex Johnson - blog.thecurrent.orgalbum/

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rticle_id=AB39F4B0-CAB6-4764-8A4CF753DC30C9C6&menu_id=34A2A29D36A0-4A46-84D0-1B8E50B022A7&sTok en=1%2C6ddfafb4%2C546fbb60%2C77 9522F3-04C4-44A8-B370-795AE34997A B%2CxH4%2FuGXepkUaTgezM1N3exDw 54Q%3D. (952) 934-1525”A Midsummer Night’s Dream Hands On! Arts Exploration: 24-Mar, 2:00 PM, Savage Library, 13090 Alabama Ave. S., Savage, See Website. Learn the basics of watercolor painting, explore watercolor collage and landscape in this four week class. It is important to attend all four sessions, please arrive before sessions and be ready to paint promptly at 2:00 p.m. Art materials for the class will be provided at the first class. The class will be held at the Savage Arts Council which is the same building as the Savage Library, call the library at 952-707-1770 with questions. There will be an art reception for family and friends at the Savage Library on Tuesday, April 7 from 3-4 p.m. The class instructor is Lucy Le May, a retired high school art teacher and owner-operator of Le May Studio. She has been painting for 30 years, doing watercolor painting for 10 years and is a member of the Saage Arts Council. This program does require registration that starts December 15th. Registration will enroll you in all four sessions. It is funded in part with money from Minnesota’s Arts and Cultural Heritage Fund.. http:// melsascott.evanced.info/signup/eventcalendar.aspx?ag=&et=&df=list&cn=0&priv ate=0&ln=ALL. “The Illusionists: Witness the Impossible Drawing and Painting: 25-Mar, 9:00 AM, Waseca Art Center, 200 State Street North, Waseca, Free. Drawing and Painting class. Contact (507) 835-1701, patbeckmann@wasecaartscouncil.org, or www.wasecaartscouncil.org for more information.. . “Intermediate Pottery

MAR 27 - APR 2: Alonzo Bodden: 27-Mar, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 .

Alonzo’s material is ‘cynically good natured.’ Well, the older he gets, the less good natured it’s gonna be. ‘’What can I say? The stupid out there is wearing the man down.’ Bodden, who won Season 3 on NBC’s Last Comic Standing, is a regular on NPR’s ‘Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me!’bio_smpix and ‘Comedy Congress,’ as well as being a panelist on the Game Show Network’s ‘Mind of a Man.’ In 2011, he starred in the comedy special ‘Who’s Paying Attention’ on Showtime, released a DVD, and hosts a podcast of the same name. That same year, he was a panelist on the syndicated show ‘Inside the Vault,’

and voiced the character of Thunderon in the Power Rangers movie.. https:// houseofcomedy.net/about/comics-details. asp?ID=311.

Patrick Susmilch: 27-Mar, 8:30 PM, Dangerfields Comedy, 1583 East First Avenue, Shakopee, $15 . Patrick Susmilch started his stand-up odyssey at the tender age of 20. Now, at the tender age of 28, he has transformed into a beautiful and wounded comedic butterfly. With a cheerfully sardonic viewpoint, hes not afraid to tackle the big topics: kittens, hair loss, and wind chimes. Patricks style, which straddles the line between irreverence and poignancy, recently secured him an appearance on season 8 of NBCs Last Comic Standing.. http://dangerfieldscomedy.com/?p=1006. 952-445-2245 Alonzo Bodden: 27-Mar, 9:45 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 .

Alonzo’s material is ‘cynically good natured.’ Well, the older he gets, the less good natured it’s gonna be. ‘’What can I say? The stupid out there is wearing the man down.’ Bodden, who won Season 3 on NBC’s Last Comic Standing, is a regular on NPR’s ‘Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me!’bio_smpix and ‘Comedy Congress,’ as well as being a panelist on the Game Show Network’s ‘Mind of a Man.’ In 2011, he starred in the comedy special ‘Who’s Paying Attention’ on Showtime, released a DVD, and hosts a podcast of the same name. That same year, he was a panelist on the syndicated show ‘Inside the Vault,’ and voiced the character of Thunderon in the Power Rangers movie.. https:// houseofcomedy.net/about/comics-details. asp?ID=311.

Textured Landscapes: 28-Mar, 9:30 AM, Lakeville Area Arts Center, 20965 Holyoke Avenue, Lakeville, $55.

Learn how to infuse texture into your acrylic paintings to create a feeling of dimension to your landscapes.

Supplies included.. http://test. lakevillemn.gov/index.php?option=com_ jevents&task=icalrepeat.detail&evid=5942 &Itemid=1364&year=2015&month=03&d ay=21&title=textured-landscapes&uid=19f 495e43c14704d15cf9addb6e3cbc3.

Alonzo Bodden: 28-Mar, 9:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 .

Alonzo’s material is ‘cynically good natured.’ Well, the older he gets, the less good natured it’s gonna be. ‘’What can I say? The stupid out there is wearing the man down.’ Bodden, who won Season 3 on NBC’s Last Comic Standing, is a regular on NPR’s ‘Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me!’bio_smpix and ‘Comedy Congress,’

March 28 – May 2

SPRING SALE Birds name is Donald - www.nationaleaglecenter.org

A Taste of Wabasha April 11th - 6-8:30 p.m.

National Eagle Center, Wabasha In case you didn’t notice by the time you got back here to the Calendar Highlights, this issue was all about animals or pets if you will. And since I am such a theme-y person, I had to find something related to the subject. I found an event that goes beyond bringing your companion to the dog park only to go home and inevitably find that one of you stepped in doggy doo-doo.

It was unknown to me that the National Eagle Center was located in Wabasha. Eagles are pretty amazing creatures, albeit very scary.

An animal that can swoop down from the sky and knock my ass out is frightening. Or steal my child. Or rip my hair out. A Taste of Wabasha is a fundraiser that will give you a close look at these majestic birds.

Samples will be offered by Slippery’s Bar and Grille, Nelson Cheese Factory, and other tasty restaurants of the area. A silent auction will be held and . . . beer. There will be beer. Or wine. And of course soda and water. Enjoy some live music and spend the evening with one of their Eagles. I’ll be hanging out with Donald, because frankly, hanging out with an Eagle named Donald would be pretty awesome. www.nationaleaglecenter.org/soar-with-the-eagles/taste-of-wabasha/ – – Autumn Van Ravenhorst, editor@southernminnscene.com

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Harlem Globetrotters April 3rd - 7:00 p.m.

Mayo Civic Center, Rochester Sports provide more entertainment than just who is winning and who is losing. Some die-hard sports fans pay attention to the smallest details of a game, know all of the mechanics, and like to be challenged on their history. Sports guru or not, we all enjoy that one piece of unique amusement that each sport has to offer. We like to cringe at hockey fights, including the most ludicrous where one dude is punching a guy in the helmet . . . with no gloves on. We like to progressively get louder with each yard the wide receiver clears.

Though often disappointing, we enjoy the rush when someone almost hits a grand slam. Then there is basketball. Someone once said of the Harlem Globetrotters, “This is not basketball; it is too full of tricks.” But that is one of our favorite parts about the sport. We all love a good slam dunk.

The history of this team is really quite fascinating, though somewhat skewed, it dates back to the 1920’s and the team with their outrageous presentations have performed in 120 countries. They are truly some of the greatest and most engaging athletes. A Globetrotter show will provide incredible ball handling skills, trick shots, bits of comedy scattered throughout, and intimate interaction from the players. They have acquired the Parent Seal of Approval so be sure to bring the fam. If you end up offended, don’t blame me. I am just the messenger. www.mayociviccenter.com/upcoming_events/eventdetails.aspx?eventid=19002 www.mayociviccenter.com

From 23 as well as being a panelist on the Game Show Network’s ‘Mind of a Man.’ In 2011, he starred in the comedy special ‘Who’s Paying Attention’ on Showtime, released a DVD, and hosts a podcast of the same name. That same year, he was a panelist on the syndicated show ‘Inside the Vault,’ and voiced the character of Thunderon in the Power Rangers movie.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=311.

Ben Gleib: 2-Apr, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Ben Gleib is a standup comedian, actor, and TV host, perhaps best known as a round table regular on the hit show ‘CHELSEA LATELY’ on E! appearing on the show over 85 times. Esquire named him one of ‘Six comedians who could be comedy’s next big thing.’ He is the voice of Marshall the Sloth in 20th Century Fox’s ‘ICE AGE CONTINENTAL DRIFT’ which is now the #1 animated movie of all-time internationally. He

– – Autumn Van Ravenhorst, editor@southernminnscene.com

just worked for THE OSCARS, hosting The Academy’s first ever ‘Oscar Roadtrip,’ which was featured on ABC’s ‘OSCARS PRE-SHOW.’ Ben was also a guest star this season on the popular E! scripted series ‘AFTER LATELY’ and is one of the stars of Kevin Smith’s new movie ‘JAY AND SILENT BOB’S SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE.’ Gleib also makes appearances as a guest correspondent on CNN, sharing his comedic take on politics.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/ comics. “The Coated Splendor

APR 3-9: Ben Gleib: 3-Apr, 9:45 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Ben Gleib is a standup comedian, actor, and TV host, perhaps best known as a round table regular on the hit show ‘CHELSEA LATELY’ on E! appearing on the show over 85 times. Esquire named him one of ‘Six comedians who could be comedy’s next big thing.’ He is the voice of Marshall the Sloth in 20th Century Fox’s ‘ICE AGE CONTINENTAL DRIFT’ which is now the

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APR 10-16: Love, Loss and What I Wore: 10-Apr, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $10-$15. $10 Children 12 & Under/$15 Adults. This delightful and poignant play ‘is not about fashion; it is about what clothes really are to us, those moments when we are constantly trying to find our identity through them.’ These are the words of Nora Ephron, icon-ic movie writer and playwright. Nora and her sister Delia (who co-wrote ‘You’ve Got Mail’ with Nora) probe our memories through a series of conversations and monologues on topics such as mothers, prom dresses, buying bras,

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#1 animated movie of all-time internationally.

He just worked for THE OSCARS, hosting The Academy’s first ever ‘Oscar Roadtrip,’ which was featured on ABC’s ‘OSCARS PRE-SHOW.’ Ben was also a guest star this season on the popular E! scripted series ‘AFTER LATELY’ and is one of the stars of Kevin Smith’s new movie ‘JAY AND SILENT BOB’S SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE.’ Gleib also makes appearances as a guest correspondent on CNN, sharing his comedic take on politics.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/ comics-details.asp?ID=233.

SouthernMinn Dancers: 4-Apr, 8:00 AM, Waldorf Community Center, 109 Main Street N, Waldorf, $10 . Call 833-8210 for more information. $10 per person.

Mary Poppins: 5-Apr, 2:00 PM, Chanhassen Dinner Theatre, 501 West 78th Street, Chanhassen, $45-$74. Based upon the iconic Disney animated film, MARY POPPINS is a family musical featuring breathtaking dance numbers and unforgettable songs including: ‘Chim Chim Cher-ee,’ ‘A Spoonful of Sugar,’ ‘Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ and ‘Let’s Go Fly A Kite.’ What could be more jolly?. https://www.chanhassendt.com/Online/ default.asp?doWork::WScontent::loadArticl e=Load&BOparam::WScontent::loadArticle ::article_id=AB39F4B0-CAB6-4764-8A4CF753DC30C9C6&menu_id=34A2A29D36A0-4A46-84D0-1B8E50B022A7&sToken =1%2C6ddfafb4%2C546fbb60%2C77952 2F3-04C4-44A8-B370-795AE34997AB%2C xH4%2FuGXepkUaTgezM1N3exDw54Q%3D. (952) 934-1525 Paradise Hat Gallery: 7-Apr, All Day, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, Free. Carlander Family Gallery & Lois Vranesh Boardroom Gallery: Paradise, A great place to hang your HAT. A juried HAT themed Exhibition. Exhibition runs April 7- May 5 Award Ceremony April 10 5-7pm.

Sponsored By: Crafty Maven Part of the 2015 KDHL/POWER 96 GALLERY SEASON. http:// www.paradisecenterforthearts.org.

Ben Roy: 8-Apr, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13-$20. Ben Roy is an American comedian and musician originally from Winthrop, Maine, who now lives in Denver, Colorado. Heavily tattooed, and known for his ‘spittle-flecked rants’ on stage, Roy has been compared to Bill Hicks and Lewis Black.

Roy is a member of The Grawlix, a trio of Denver comedians who produce a monthly live comedy show and web series. He is also a singer who has fronted several Denver-area punk rock bands.. https://houseofcomedy.net/ about/comics-details.asp?ID=202.

Paradise Hat Gallery: 8-Apr, All Day, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, Free. Carlander Family Gallery & Lois Vranesh Boardroom Gallery: Paradise, A great place to hang your HAT. A juried HAT themed Exhibition. Exhibition runs April 7- May 5 Award Ceremony April 10 5-7pm.

Sponsored By: Crafty Maven Part of the 2015 KDHL/POWER 96 GALLERY SEASON. http:// www.paradisecenterforthearts.org. “Disney On Ice Presents Frozen Teen Show: 9-Apr, All Day, Edina Art Center, 4701 West 64th Street, Edina, Free. The Teen Show is a collaboration with the talented students of Edina and Hopkins High School.

Photography, drawing and painting, and ceramics from young and emerging artists are featured. Join us for awards, food, and live music from high school musicians as well.. http://edinamn.gov/index.php?section=2015gallery-schedule#mcpge. (952) 903-5780

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hating purses and why we only wear black.. http://www.paradisecenterforthearts.org.

Jesus Christ Superstar: 10-Apr, 7:30 PM, Ames Center, 12600 Nicollet Avenue, Burnsville, $19-$22. If you strip awaythe myth from the man, can you see where we all soon will be? In Tim Rice andAndrew Lloyd Webber’s milestone musical, the destinies and struggles of Judas,Jesus, and the disciples collide as they try to make sense of their paths in life and grapple with the outcomes of their choices. Delve into one of thegreatest stories of all time with The Chameleon Theatre Circle, and experienceit as you never have before!. http://www.ames-center.com/ chameleon-theatre-circle.html.

Ben Roy: 10-Apr, 9:45 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13-$20. Ben Roy is an American comedian and musician originally from Winthrop, Maine, who now lives in Denver, Colorado. Heavily tattooed, and known for his ‘spittle-flecked rants’ on stage, Roy has been compared to Bill Hicks and Lewis Black.

Roy is a member of The Grawlix, a trio of Denver comedians who produce a monthly live comedy show and web series. He is also a singer who has fronted several Denver-area punk rock bands.. https://houseofcomedy.net/ about/comics-details.asp?ID=202.

Teen Show: 10-Apr, All Day, Edina Art Center, 4701 West 64th Street, Edina, Free.

The Teen Show is a collaboration with the talented students of Edina and Hopkins High School. Photography, drawing and painting, and ceramics from young and emerging artists are featured. Join us for awards, food, and live music from high school musicians as well.. http://edinamn.gov/index. php?section=2015-gallery-schedule#mcpge.

(952) 903-5780”Disney On Ice Presents Frozen Love, Loss and What I Wore: 11-Apr, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $10-$15. $10 Children 12 & Under/$15 Adults. This delightful and poignant play ‘is not about fashion; it is about what clothes really are to us, those moments when we are constantly trying to find our identity through them.’ These are the words of Nora Ephron, icon-ic movie writer and playwright. Nora and her sister Delia (who co-wrote ‘You’ve Got Mail’ with Nora) probe our memories through a series of conversations and monologues on topics such as mothers, prom dresses, buying bras, hating purses and why we only wear black.. http://www.paradisecenterforthearts.org.

“The Crucible Jesus Christ Superstar: 11-Apr, 7:30 PM, Ames Center, 12600 Nicollet Avenue, Burnsville, $19-$22. If you strip awaythe myth from the man, can you see where we all soon will be? In Tim Rice andAndrew Lloyd Webber’s milestone musical, the destinies and struggles of Judas,Jesus, and the disciples collide as they try to make sense of their paths in life and grapple with the outcomes of their choices. Delve into one of thegreatest stories of all time with The Chameleon Theatre Circle, and experienceit as you never have before!. http://www. ames-center.com/chameleon-theatre-circle. html. “Joel McHale Ben Roy: 11-Apr, 9:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13-$20. Ben Roy is an American comedian and musician originally from Winthrop, Maine, who now lives in Denver, Colorado. Heavily tattooed, and known for his ‘spittle-flecked rants’ on stage, Roy has been compared to Bill Hicks and Lewis Black.

Roy is a member of The Grawlix, a trio of Denver comedians who produce a monthly live comedy show and web series. He is also a singer who has fronted several Denver-area punk rock bands.. https://houseofcomedy.net/ about/comics-details.asp?ID=202.

Love, Loss and What I Wore: 12-Apr, 2:00 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $10-$15. $10 Children 12 & Under/$15 Adults. This delightful and poignant play ‘is not about fashion; it is about what clothes really are to us, those moments when we are constantly trying to find our identity through them.’ These are the words of Nora Ephron, icon-ic movie writer and playwright. Nora and her sister

Delia (who co-wrote ‘You’ve Got Mail’ with Nora) probe our memories through a series of conversations and monologues on topics such as mothers, prom dresses, buying bras, hating purses and why we only wear black.. http://www.paradisecenterforthearts.org.

APR 17-23: Jon Lovitz: 17-Apr, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $32.95 . Jonathan M. ‘Jon’ Lovitz is an American comedian, actor and singer. He is best known as a cast member of the NBC sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live from 1985 to 1990. I also do alot of other cool things =) Im funny, I make jokes, people laugh at me. I also have a comedy club on universal city walk in Hollywood.. https:// houseofcomedy.net/about/comics-details. asp?ID=357.

Jon Lovitz: 17-Apr, 9:45 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $32.95 . Jonathan M. ‘Jon’ Lovitz is an American comedian, actor and singer. He is best known as a cast member of the NBC sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live from 1985 to 1990. I also do alot of other cool things =) Im funny, I make jokes, people laugh at me. I also have a comedy club on universal city walk in Hollywood.. https:// houseofcomedy.net/about/comics-details. asp?ID=357.

Jon Lovitz: 18-Apr, 9:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $32.95 . Jonathan M. ‘Jon’ Lovitz is an American comedian, actor and singer. He is best known as a cast member of the NBC sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live from 1985 to 1990. I also do alot of other cool things =) Im funny, I make jokes, people laugh at me. I also have a comedy club on universal city walk in Hollywood.. https:// houseofcomedy.net/about/comics-details. asp?ID=357.

Joe Machi: 23-Apr, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13-$20. A native of State College, PA, Joe Machi did not always plan to enter comedy. After graduating from Penn State University, located in his hometown, Joe became a customer service manager for a supermarket. It wasn’t until after stint as a human resources assistant that he decided to try his hand at stand up comedy. Joe moved to New York City in 2006, where his comedy career began. He quickly passed for ‘Late Night’ shows at the prestigious Comic Strip Live. Joe then passed at four other New York City comedy clubs, including the famed Caroline’s on Broadway and Stand Up NY. His success continues to grow, and in 2010, he won first place in the ‘Emerging Comics’ contest at the New York Underground Comedy Festival, and was also named a finalist at the New York Comedy Festival’s NY’s Funniest Person Competition. Joe has also been featured in the New York Daily News for advancing to the Elite Eight of Caroline’s March Madness Final Four Competition. After being named a runner-up for the Boston Comedy Festival’s New York Comedy Contest, he landed a performance at the Boston Comedy Fest.

Recently, Joe has made his network television debut on NBC’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

- See more at: http://www.standupny.com/ comedians/joe-machi/#sthash.xbli6c9U.dpuf. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=367. “For the Loyal

APR 24-30: In Capable Hands: 24-Apr, 7:00 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $12-$15. $8 Students. Flying pizzas, juggled canned meat, pink flamingos, vanishing bananas, impaled potatoes, and music played by pounding their heads In Capable Hands is an innovative comedy juggling team and are seasoned pros with their own brand of fresh, distinctive humor. Trained

by Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus, In Capable Hands is a husband and wife comedy duo with eye-catching skills and off-center comic flair, are favorites wherever they perform.. http://www.paradisecenterforthearts.org.

Joe Machi: 25-Apr, 7:00 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13-$20. A native of State

ADD YOUR EVENT FOR FREE TO THE TIMELINE CALENDAR. GO TO W W W. S O U T H E R N M I N N . C O M / S C E N E / C A L E N D A R & C L I C K + A D D A N E V E N T

Ibsen Festival

April 17th - 5:00 p.m.

Commonweal Theatre, Lanesboro This festival is named after one man with a set of side burns that any facial hair enthusiast would appreciate. Aside from his miraculous chops, he is a Norwegian (no surprises there, Minnesotans loves their roots) playwright and poet. Aside from Shakespeare, his work is some of the most performed in the world.

The Commonweal Theatre has shown their commitment to Isben, the father of realism. The characters are ordinary and the theme typically involves a situation we, ourselves, would encounter. So if you are looking for fairytales and dragons, this festival isn’t for you.

This is the only theatre in the country that dedicates displaying Isben’s work annually. But they don’t stop there. In addition to performance, this Scandinavian festival brings food and music and guests may also attend lectures, film presentations, and artistic displays. “The highlight of the 2015 Festival is a production of a new adaptation of Ibsen’s ‘The Master Builder’ by Jeffrey Hatcher.” www.commonwealtheatre.org/ibsen.html – – Autumn Van Ravenhorst, editor@southernminnscene.com “Pillars of Society” - lacrossetribune.com

Bloomington, $13-$20. A native of State College, PA, Joe Machi did not always plan to enter comedy. After graduating from Penn State University, located in his hometown, Joe became a customer service manager for a supermarket. It wasn’t until after stint as a human resources assistant that he decided to try his hand at stand up comedy. Joe moved to New York City in 2006, where his comedy career began. He quickly passed for ‘Late Night’ shows at the prestigious Comic Strip Live. Joe then passed at four other New York City comedy clubs, including the famed Caroline’s on Broadway and Stand Up NY. His success continues to grow, and in 2010, he won first place in the ‘Emerging Comics’ contest at the New York Underground Comedy Festival, and was also named a finalist at the New York Comedy Festival’s NY’s Funniest Person Competition. Joe has also been featured in the New York Daily News for advancing to the Elite Eight of Caroline’s March Madness Final Four Competition. After being named a runner-up for the Boston Comedy Festival’s New York Comedy Contest, he landed a performance at the Boston Comedy Fest.

Recently, Joe has made his network television debut on NBC’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

- See more at: http://www.standupny.com/ comedians/joe-machi/#sthash.xbli6c9U.dpuf. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=367. “For the Loyal Nikki Glaser: 30-Apr, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $15-$20. Glaser first performed stand-up at the age of 18, and in less than two years, landed a spot as a semi-finalist on Last Comic Standing. Since then, Nikki has performed stand-up on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, CONAN, and two seasons of Last Comic Standing. She can also be seen on MTV shows such as Money from Strangers, Awkward: The After Show, and Failosophy. Nikki played a small role in Henry Phillips’ 2009 film Punching the Clown. She also appeared as herself in Jordan Brady’s documentary I Am Comic. Since early 2011, Nikki has been hosting a podcast with comedian Sara Schaefer called You Had To Be There. Nikki & Sara Live, a weekly talk show television series hosted by Glaser and Schaefer, premiered on January 29, 2013, on MTV. The show was canceled on November 22, 2013 after two seasons. Nikki currently co-hosts a podcast with comedian, Phil

10K•5K

Run/Walk

9:00 a.m.

Race Fee 35 $

Hanley, and roommate/musician, Anya Marina, called ‘We Know Nothing.’ We Know Nothing is a humorous relationship based podcast that takes calls from listeners and attempts to give them love advice.. https:// houseofcomedy.net/about/comics-details. asp?ID=374.

COMEDY MAR 20-26: Bryan Callen: 20-Mar, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Born in the Phillipines, Callen spent the first fourteen years of his life overseas in countries like India, Pakistan, Lebanon, Greece and Saudi Arabia, before moving to the U.S. He went to highschool in Massachusettes and earned his B.A. in History at the American University in Washington D.C. Bryan Callen has spent the last 17 years in Los Angeles fighting traffic because that’s where he seems to find the most work. (Bryan Callen is also writing this but making it seem like someone ELSE is writing this by refering to himself in the 3rd person) Callen got his start as an original cast member of MAD TV. He then went on to play numerous roles on the small and big screen including, ‘Old School’ ‘Bad Santa’, ‘Sex and the City’, ‘Entourage,’ ‘Californication’, ‘7th Heaven,’ ‘King of Queens,’ ‘Stacked,’ ‘Las Vegas,’ ‘West Wing,’’News Radio,’ ‘Significant Others,’ ‘CSI,’ ‘NYPD Blue,’’Suddenly Susan,’ and ‘Frasier.’ He recently finished a two season character arc on USA’s’In Plain Sight’. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=191.

Ron Lamprecht: 20-Mar, 8:30 PM, Dangerfields Comedy, 1583 East First Avenue, Shakopee, $15 . Hes a creative storyteller whose expressions and willingness to take the fall make him a crowd favorite.

Growing up one of five kids and now having three of his ownyoure going to love seeing how normal your family is in comparison.. http://dangerfieldscomedy.com/?p=1003.

952-445-2245 Bryan Callen: 20-Mar, 9:45 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4

Comedian Bryan Callen / House of Comedy / Bloomington / 5.20-21

East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Born in the Phillipines, Callen spent the first fourteen years of his life overseas in countries like India, Pakistan, Lebanon, Greece and Saudi Arabia, before moving to the U.S. He went to highschool in Massachusettes and earned his B.A. in History at the American University in Washington D.C. Bryan Callen has spent the last 17 years in Los Angeles fighting traffic because that’s where he seems to find the most work. (Bryan Callen is also writing this but making it seem like someone ELSE is writing this by refering to himself in the 3rd person) Callen got his start as an original cast member of MAD TV. He then went on to play numerous roles on the small and big screen including, ‘Old School’ ‘Bad Santa’, ‘Sex and the City’, ‘Entourage,’ ‘Californication’, ‘7th Heaven,’ ‘King of Queens,’ ‘Stacked,’ ‘Las Vegas,’ ‘West Wing,’’News Radio,’ ‘Significant Others,’ ‘CSI,’ ‘NYPD Blue,’’Suddenly Susan,’

2015

and ‘Frasier.’ He recently finished a two season character arc on USA’s’In Plain Sight’. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=191.

Ron Lamprecht: 21-Mar, 8:30 PM, Dangerfields Comedy, 1583 East First Avenue, Shakopee, $15 . Hes a creative storyteller whose expressions and willingness to take the fall make him a crowd favorite.

Growing up one of five kids and now having three of his ownyoure going to love seeing how normal your family is in comparison.. http://dangerfieldscomedy.com/?p=1003.

952-445-2245 Bryan Callen: 21-Mar, 9:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Born in the Phillipines, Callen spent the first fourteen years of his life overseas in countries like India, Pakistan, Lebanon, Greece and Saudi

1 Mi Walk 9:40 a.m.

Walk Fee $14

& FREE Kids K 10:30 a.m.

Saturday, April 11 • Faribault, MN Go to www. finalstretch.com/heroesforhope today!

ADD YOUR EVENT FOR FREE TO THE TIMELINE CALENDAR. GO TO W W W. S O U T H E R N M I N N . C O M / S C E N E / C A L E N D A R & C L I C K + A D D A N E V E N T

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Arabia, before moving to the U.S. He went to highschool in Massachusettes and earned his B.A. in History at the American University in Washington D.C. Bryan Callen has spent the last 17 years in Los Angeles fighting traffic because that’s where he seems to find the most work. (Bryan Callen is also writing this but making it seem like someone ELSE is writing this by refering to himself in the 3rd person) Callen got his start as an original cast member of MAD TV. He then went on to play numerous roles on the small and big screen including, ‘Old School’ ‘Bad Santa’, ‘Sex and the City’, ‘Entourage,’ ‘Californication’, ‘7th Heaven,’ ‘King of Queens,’ ‘Stacked,’ ‘Las Vegas,’ ‘West Wing,’’News Radio,’ ‘Significant Others,’ ‘CSI,’ ‘NYPD Blue,’’Suddenly Susan,’ and ‘Frasier.’ He recently finished a two season character arc on USA’s’In Plain Sight’. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=191.

Our PreSeNtiNG SPONSOrS

College, PA, Joe Machi did not always plan to enter comedy. After graduating from Penn State University, located in his hometown, Joe became a customer service manager for a supermarket. It wasn’t until after stint as a human resources assistant that he decided to try his hand at stand up comedy. Joe moved to New York City in 2006, where his comedy career began. He quickly passed for ‘Late Night’ shows at the prestigious Comic Strip Live. Joe then passed at four other New York City comedy clubs, including the famed Caroline’s on Broadway and Stand Up NY. His success continues to grow, and in 2010, he won first place in the ‘Emerging Comics’ contest at the New York Underground Comedy Festival, and was also named a finalist at the New York Comedy Festival’s NY’s Funniest Person Competition. Joe has also been featured in the New York Daily News for advancing to the Elite Eight of Caroline’s March Madness Final Four Competition. After being named a runner-up for the Boston Comedy Festival’s New York Comedy Contest, he landed a performance at the Boston Comedy Fest.

Recently, Joe has made his network television debut on NBC’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

- See more at: http://www.standupny.com/ comedians/joe-machi/#sthash.xbli6c9U.dpuf. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=367.

Comedian C. Willi Myles: 25-Apr, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $17-$22. C. Willi Myles returns home to the Paradise for his Line in the Sand Comedy Tour. As always Willi’s extremely funny non-offensive stories and jokes and gives a unique spin to life’s everyday challenges as he applys humor to them.

Referred to as ‘America’s Everyday Comedian,’ Willi is truly comedy at its best.. http://www. paradisecenterforthearts.org.

The Broadway Dolls: 25-Apr, 8:00 PM, Ames Center, 12600 Nicollet Avenue, Burnsville, $39 . 40th Annual Concert for Caring featuring the Broadway Dolls. The fun starts at 6 PM Live jazz music featuring the 18 piece Real Big Band Complimentary appetizers and delicious desserts Value-packed silent auction you wont want to miss The Broadway Dolls take the stage at 8 PM. http://www. ames-center.com/broadway-dolls.html.

Joe Machi: 25-Apr, 9:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East,

MAR 27 - APR 2: Alonzo Bodden: 27-Mar, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Alonzo’s material is ‘cynically good natured.’ Well, the older he gets, the less good natured it’s gonna be. ‘’What can I say? The stupid out there is wearing the man down.’ Bodden, who won Season 3 on NBC’s Last Comic Standing, is a regular on NPR’s ‘Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me!’bio_smpix and ‘Comedy Congress,’ as well as being a panelist on the Game Show Network’s ‘Mind of a Man.’ In 2011, he starred in the comedy special ‘Who’s Paying Attention’ on Showtime, released a DVD, and hosts a podcast of the same name. That same year, he was a panelist on the syndicated show ‘Inside the Vault,’ and

Turn

Building HOPE for a healthy community!

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Hat themed exhibition / Paradise Theater for the Arts / Faribault / 4.7 - 5.5

www.theatreinchicago.com/

The Merlin Players present Love, Loss and What I Wore April 10th-18th - 7:30 p.m.

April 12th - 2:00 p.m.

The Paradise Center for the Arts, Faribault There are three iconic people involved in this whole thing that it wouldn’t seem right to elaborate on the play without talking about them first. Though some may not know the names Nora and Delia Ephron, they are the writers behind some pretty renowned and hilarious work. Among many things, both of them can take the labels of journalist, playwright, and screenwriter. Nora was nominated more than once for an Academy Award for Best Writing in When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle while Delia is best known for You’ve Got Mail and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

As for the director, Julianna Skluzacek, who is taking on this winning theatrical production, is the founder and artistic director of the semiprofessional theater company The Merlin Players. Her list of work is long— really long—and she has taken home awards of her own.

I can shamelessly admit that I have gone through multiple embarrassing phases in my lifetime. I’ve even given a few of them a title: I refuse to shower phase, punk-rock tube sock phase, I lost weight with Tae Bo phase, Earth liberation phase, I have no idea what I’m doing phase, and now I’m in the “I ain’t got time for that” phase. We all do it. It is just a matter if you’re willing to admit it and simply laugh at your ridiculousness. If not, this play will help you do just that. In the words of Nora Ephon, “it is not about fashion; it is about what clothes really are to us, those moments when we are constantly trying to find our identity through them.” www.paradisecenterforthearts.org/theatre/the-merlin-players/ – – Autumn Van Ravenhorst, editor@southernminnscene.com

From 25 voiced the character of Thunderon in the Power Rangers movie.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comics-details.asp?ID=311.

Patrick Susmilch: 27-Mar, 8:30 PM, Dangerfields Comedy, 1583 East First Avenue, Shakopee, $15 . Patrick Susmilch started his stand-up odyssey at the tender age of 20. Now, at the tender age of 28, he has transformed into a beautiful and wounded comedic butterfly. With a cheerfully sardonic viewpoint, hes not afraid to tackle the big topics: kittens, hair loss, and wind chimes. Patricks style, which straddles the line between irreverence and poignancy, recently secured him an appearance on season 8 of NBCs Last Comic Standing.. http://dangerfieldscomedy. com/?p=1006. 952-445-2245 Alonzo Bodden: 27-Mar, 9:45 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Alonzo’s material is ‘cynically good natured.’ Well, the older he gets, the less good natured it’s gonna be. ‘’What can I say? The stupid out there is wearing the man down.’ Bodden, who won Season 3 on NBC’s Last Comic Standing,

is a regular on NPR’s ‘Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me!’bio_smpix and ‘Comedy Congress,’ as well as being a panelist on the Game Show Network’s ‘Mind of a Man.’ In 2011, he starred in the comedy special ‘Who’s Paying Attention’ on Showtime, released a DVD, and hosts a podcast of the same name. That same year, he was a panelist on the syndicated show ‘Inside the Vault,’ and voiced the character of Thunderon in the Power Rangers movie.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=311.

Alonzo Bodden: 28-Mar, 7:00 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Alonzo’s material is ‘cynically good natured.’ Well, the older he gets, the less good natured it’s gonna be. ‘’What can I say? The stupid out there is wearing the man down.’ Bodden, who won Season 3 on NBC’s Last Comic Standing, is a regular on NPR’s ‘Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me!’bio_smpix and ‘Comedy Congress,’ as well as being a panelist on the Game Show Network’s ‘Mind of a Man.’ In 2011, he starred in the comedy special ‘Who’s Paying Attention’ on Showtime, released a DVD, and hosts a podcast of the same name. That same year, he was a panelist on the syndicated show

‘Inside the Vault,’ and voiced the character of Thunderon in the Power Rangers movie.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=311. “C. Willi Myles Patrick Susmilch: 28-Mar, 8:30 PM, Dangerfields Comedy, 1583 East First Avenue, Shakopee, $15 . Patrick Susmilch started his stand-up odyssey at the tender age of 20. Now, at the tender age of 28, he has transformed into a beautiful and wounded comedic butterfly. With a cheerfully sardonic viewpoint, hes not afraid to tackle the big topics: kittens, hair loss, and wind chimes. Patricks style, which straddles the line between irreverence and poignancy, recently secured him an appearance on season 8 of NBCs Last Comic Standing.. http://dangerfieldscomedy. com/?p=1006. 952-445-2245 Alonzo Bodden: 28-Mar, 9:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Alonzo’s material is ‘cynically good natured.’ Well, the older he gets, the less good natured it’s gonna be. ‘’What can I say? The stupid out there is wearing the man down.’ Bodden, who won Season 3 on NBC’s Last Comic Standing, is a regular on NPR’s ‘Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me!’bio_smpix and ‘Comedy Congress,’ as well as being a

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panelist on the Game Show Network’s ‘Mind of a Man.’ In 2011, he starred in the comedy special ‘Who’s Paying Attention’ on Showtime, released a DVD, and hosts a podcast of the same name. That same year, he was a panelist on the syndicated show ‘Inside the Vault,’ and voiced the character of Thunderon in the Power Rangers movie.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=311.

Ben Gleib: 1-Apr, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Ben Gleib is a standup comedian, actor, and TV host, perhaps best known as a round table regular on the hit show ‘CHELSEA LATELY’ on E! appearing on the show over 85 times. Esquire named him one of ‘Six comedians who could be comedy’s next big thing.’ He is the voice of Marshall the Sloth in 20th Century Fox’s ‘ICE AGE CONTINENTAL DRIFT’ which is now the #1 animated movie of all-time internationally.

He just worked for THE OSCARS, hosting The Academy’s first ever ‘Oscar Roadtrip,’ which was featured on ABC’s ‘OSCARS PRE-SHOW.’ Ben was also a guest star this season on the popular E! scripted series ‘AFTER LATELY’ and is one of the stars of Kevin Smith’s new movie ‘JAY AND SILENT BOB’S SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE.’ Gleib also makes appearances as a guest correspondent on CNN, sharing his comedic take on politics.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/ comics-details.asp?ID=233.

Ben Gleib: 2-Apr, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Ben Gleib is a standup comedian, actor, and TV host, perhaps best known as a round table regular on the hit show ‘CHELSEA LATELY’ on E! appearing on the show over 85 times. Esquire named him one of ‘Six comedians who could be comedy’s next big thing.’ He is the voice of Marshall the Sloth in 20th Century Fox’s ‘ICE AGE CONTINENTAL DRIFT’ which is now the #1 animated movie of all-time internationally.

He just worked for THE OSCARS, hosting The Academy’s first ever ‘Oscar Roadtrip,’ which was featured on ABC’s ‘OSCARS PRE-SHOW.’ Ben was also a guest star this season on the popular E! scripted series ‘AFTER LATELY’ and is one of the stars of Kevin Smith’s new movie ‘JAY AND SILENT BOB’S SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE.’ Gleib also makes appearances as a guest correspondent on CNN, sharing his comedic take on politics.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/ comics-details.asp?ID=233. “Ben Gleib

APR 3-9: Ben Gleib: 4-Apr, 7:00 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $24.95 . Ben Gleib is a standup comedian, actor, and TV host, perhaps best known as a round table regular on the hit show ‘CHELSEA LATELY’ on E! appearing on the show over 85 times. Esquire named him one of ‘Six comedians who could be comedy’s next big thing.’ He is the voice of Marshall the Sloth in 20th Century Fox’s ‘ICE AGE CONTINENTAL DRIFT’ which is now the #1 animated movie of all-time internationally.

He just worked for THE OSCARS, hosting The Academy’s first ever ‘Oscar Roadtrip,’ which was featured on ABC’s ‘OSCARS PRE-SHOW.’ Ben was also a guest star this season on the popular E! scripted series ‘AFTER LATELY’ and is one of the stars of Kevin Smith’s new movie ‘JAY AND SILENT BOB’S SUPER GROOVY CARTOON MOVIE.’ Gleib also makes appearances as a guest correspondent on CNN, sharing his comedic take on politics.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/ comics-details.asp?ID=233. “Ben Gleib Ben Roy: 8-Apr, 7:30 PM, House of Com-

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edy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13$20. Ben Roy is an American comedian and musician originally from Winthrop, Maine, who now lives in Denver, Colorado. Heavily tattooed, and known for his ‘spittle-flecked rants’ on stage, Roy has been compared to Bill Hicks and Lewis Black. Roy is a member of The Grawlix, a trio of Denver comedians who produce a monthly live comedy show and web series. He is also a singer who has fronted several Denver-area punk rock bands.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/ comics-details.asp?ID=202.

Ben Roy: 9-Apr, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13-$20. Ben Roy is an American comedian and musician originally from Winthrop, Maine, who now lives in Denver, Colorado. Heavily tattooed, and known for his ‘spittle-flecked rants’ on stage, Roy has been compared to Bill Hicks and Lewis Black. Roy is a member of The Grawlix, a trio of Denver comedians who produce a monthly live comedy show and web series. He is also a singer who has fronted several Denver-area punk rock bands.. https://houseofcomedy. net/about/comics-details.asp?ID=202. “New Kids on the Corner

APR 10-16: Ben Roy: 10-Apr, 9:45 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13-$20. Ben Roy is an American comedian and musician originally from Winthrop, Maine, who now lives in Denver, Colorado. Heavily tattooed, and known for his ‘spittle-flecked rants’ on stage, Roy has been compared to Bill Hicks and Lewis Black. Roy is a member of The Grawlix, a trio of Denver comedians who produce a monthly live comedy show and web series. He is also a singer who has fronted several Denver-area punk rock bands.. https://houseofcomedy. net/about/comics-details.asp?ID=202.

Ben Roy: 11-Apr, 7:00 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13-$20. Ben Roy is an American comedian and musician originally from Winthrop, Maine, who now lives in Denver, Colorado. Heavily tattooed, and known for his ‘spittle-flecked rants’ on stage, Roy has been compared to Bill Hicks and Lewis Black. Roy is a member of The Grawlix, a trio of Denver comedians who produce a monthly live comedy show and web series. He is also a singer who has fronted several Denver-area punk rock bands.. https://houseofcomedy. net/about/comics-details.asp?ID=202. “Joel McHale Ben Roy: 11-Apr, 9:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13-$20. Ben Roy is an American comedian and musician originally from Winthrop, Maine, who now lives in Denver, Colorado. Heavily tattooed, and known for his ‘spittle-flecked rants’ on stage, Roy has been compared to Bill Hicks and Lewis Black. Roy is a member of The Grawlix, a trio of Denver comedians who produce a monthly live comedy show and web series. He is also a singer who has fronted several Denver-area punk rock bands.. https://houseofcomedy. net/about/comics-details.asp?ID=202.

Jon Lovitz: 16-Apr, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $32.95 . Jonathan M. ‘Jon’ Lovitz is an American comedian, actor and singer. He is best known as a cast member of the NBC sketch comedy show Saturday Night

Live from 1985 to 1990. I also do alot of other cool things =) Im funny, I make jokes, people laugh at me. I also have a comedy club on universal city walk in Hollywood.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comics-details.asp?ID=357.

APR 17-23: Jon Lovitz: 17-Apr, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $32.95 . Jonathan M. ‘Jon’ Lovitz is an American comedian, actor and singer. He is best known as a cast member of the NBC sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live from 1985 to 1990. I also do alot of other cool things =) Im funny, I make jokes, people laugh at me. I also have a comedy club on universal city walk in Hollywood.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=357.

Jon Lovitz: 17-Apr, 9:45 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $32.95 . Jonathan M. ‘Jon’ Lovitz is an American comedian, actor and singer. He is best known as a cast member of the NBC sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live from 1985 to 1990. I also do alot of other cool things =) Im funny, I make jokes, people laugh at me. I also have a comedy club on universal city walk in Hollywood.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=357.

Jon Lovitz: 18-Apr, 7:00 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $32.95 . Jonathan M. ‘Jon’ Lovitz is an American comedian, actor and singer. He is best known as a cast member of the NBC sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live from 1985 to 1990. I also do alot of other cool things =) Im funny, I make jokes, people laugh at me. I also have a comedy club on universal city walk in Hollywood.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=357.

Jon Lovitz: 18-Apr, 9:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $32.95 . Jonathan M. ‘Jon’ Lovitz is an American comedian, actor and singer. He is best known as a cast member of the NBC sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live from 1985 to 1990. I also do alot of other cool things =) Im funny, I make jokes, people laugh at me. I also have a comedy club on universal city walk in Hollywood.. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=357.

Joe Machi: 22-Apr, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13-$20. A native of State College, PA, Joe Machi did not always plan to enter comedy. After graduating from Penn State University, located in his hometown, Joe became a customer service manager for a supermarket. It wasn’t until after stint as a human resources assistant that he decided to try his hand at stand up comedy. Joe moved to New York City in 2006, where his comedy career began. He quickly passed for ‘Late Night’ shows at the prestigious Comic Strip Live. Joe then passed at four other New York City comedy clubs, including the famed Caroline’s on Broadway and Stand Up NY. His success continues to grow, and in 2010, he won first place in the ‘Emerging Comics’ contest at the New York Underground Comedy Festival, and was also named a finalist at the New York Comedy Festival’s NY’s Funniest Person Competition. Joe has also been featured in the New York Daily News for advancing to the Elite Eight of Caroline’s March

Madness Final Four Competition.

After being named a runner-up for the Boston Comedy Festival’s New York Comedy Contest, he landed a performance at the Boston Comedy Fest.

Recently, Joe has made his network television debut on NBC’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

- See more at: http://www.standupny.com/ comedians/joe-machi/#sthash.xbli6c9U.dpuf. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=367.

Joe Machi: 23-Apr, 7:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13-$20. A native of State College, PA, Joe Machi did not always plan to enter comedy. After graduating from Penn State University, located in his hometown, Joe became a customer service manager for a supermarket. It wasn’t until after stint as a human resources assistant that he decided to try his hand at stand up comedy. Joe moved to New York City in 2006, where his comedy career began. He quickly passed for ‘Late Night’ shows at the prestigious Comic Strip Live. Joe then passed at four other New York City comedy clubs, including the famed Caroline’s on Broadway and Stand Up NY. His success continues to grow, and in 2010, he won first place in the ‘Emerging Comics’ contest at the New York Underground Comedy Festival, and was also named a finalist at the New York Comedy Festival’s NY’s Funniest Person Competition. Joe has also been featured in the New York Daily News for advancing to the Elite Eight of Caroline’s March Madness Final Four Competition. After being named a runner-up for the Boston Comedy Festival’s New York Comedy Contest, he landed a performance at the Boston Comedy Fest.

Recently, Joe has made his network television debut on NBC’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

- See more at: http://www.standupny.com/ comedians/joe-machi/#sthash.xbli6c9U.dpuf. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=367. “Joe Machi

APR 24-30: Joe Machi: 25-Apr, 7:00 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13-$20. A native of State College, PA, Joe Machi did not always plan to enter comedy. After graduating from Penn State University, located in his hometown, Joe became a customer service manager for a supermarket. It wasn’t until after stint as a human resources assistant that he decided to try his hand at stand up comedy. Joe moved to New York City in 2006, where his comedy career began. He quickly passed for ‘Late Night’ shows at the prestigious Comic Strip Live. Joe then passed at four other New York City comedy clubs, including the famed Caroline’s on Broadway and Stand Up NY. His success continues to grow, and in 2010, he won first place in the ‘Emerging Comics’ contest at the New York Underground Comedy Festival, and was also named a finalist at the New York Comedy Festival’s NY’s Funniest Person Competition. Joe has also been featured in the New York Daily News for advancing to the Elite Eight of Caroline’s March Madness Final Four Competition. After being named a runner-up for the Boston Comedy Festival’s New York Comedy Contest, he landed a performance at the Boston Comedy Fest.

Recently, Joe has made his network television debut on NBC’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

- See more at: http://www.standupny.com/ comedians/joe-machi/#sthash.xbli6c9U.dpuf. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=367.

Comedian C. Willi Myles: 25-Apr, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $17-$22. C. Willi Myles returns home to the Paradise for his Line in the Sand Comedy Tour. As always

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Unlimited Barrel Tasting and Dinner April 11th - 6:30-9:30 p.m.

Next Chapter Winery, New Prague

www.exploreminnesota.com

Beer is hip. Now, I am not in any way referring to the people who claim to be connoisseurs as “hipsters” because people associate that term with the show Portlandia and I am just not going to go there. I am simply saying there is this notion that liking beer even if it tastes like total garbage is cool while drinking wine makes you an elitist or someone who can’t stomach the taste of any other alcohol. This is completely false. When I am broke and I don’t feel like getting too sloshed, I buy a $4.99 bottle of wine. However, like beer, it is very versatile and the process of making it as well as its many flavors should be appreciated.

In the small theatre community of New Prague also lies a quaint winery that is perfect for both wine-lovers and not (because they have chocolate, cheese, and other delicious morsels). On this day, The Next Chapter Winery is offering an evening full of all the above and in a chandeliered barrel room to boot. Thirteen barrels of wine to taste from, chocolate, cheese, and a meal served by Pizzeria 201. Did I mention the wine is unlimited?

It may pose as difficult to keep it classy with an unrestricted amount of wine at your disposal, but if you need to take your blotto-self home and away from the public eye, a selection of beer and bottled wine is available for purchase. So, bottoms up! www.nextchapterwinery.com/events/barrel-tasting-dinner-with-wine-making-presentation-duplicate-3/ – – Autumn Van Ravenhorst, editor@southernminnscene.com

The Diamonds / Sheldon Theatre of Performing Arts / Red Wing / 3.27

www.midwestmusicfest.org

Amy Kortuem / Waseca Arts Council / Waseca / 3.20

Midwest Music Fest

April 23rd-25th - Various times

Several locations depending on band/event, Winona

Willi’s extremely funny non-offensive stories and jokes and gives a unique spin to life’s everyday challenges as he applys humor to them. Referred to as ‘America’s Everyday Comedian,’ Willi is truly comedy at its best.. http://www.paradisecenterforthearts.org.

Joe Machi: 25-Apr, 9:30 PM, House of Comedy, 408 East Broadway, Level 4 East, Bloomington, $13-$20. A native of State College, PA, Joe Machi did not always plan to enter comedy. After graduating from Penn State University, located in his hometown, Joe became a customer service manager for a supermarket. It wasn’t until after stint as a human resources assistant that he decided to try his hand at stand up comedy. Joe moved to New York City in 2006, where his comedy career began. He quickly passed for ‘Late Night’ shows at the prestigious Comic Strip Live.

Joe then passed at four other New York City comedy clubs, including the famed Caroline’s

on Broadway and Stand Up NY. His success continues to grow, and in 2010, he won first place in the ‘Emerging Comics’ contest at the New York Underground Comedy Festival, and was also named a finalist at the New York Comedy Festival’s NY’s Funniest Person Competition. Joe has also been featured in the New York Daily News for advancing to the Elite Eight of Caroline’s March Madness Final Four Competition. After being named a runner-up for the Boston Comedy Festival’s New York Comedy Contest, he landed a performance at the Boston Comedy Fest.

Recently, Joe has made his network television debut on NBC’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

- See more at: http://www.standupny.com/ comedians/joe-machi/#sthash.xbli6c9U.dpuf. https://houseofcomedy.net/about/comicsdetails.asp?ID=367. “Nikki Glaser

CONCERTS MAR 20-26: Bryan CMarie Miller Performance & CD Signing: 20-Mar, 7:00 PM, Mall of America, 7105 East Broadway, Bloomington, Free. To listen to the songs of Marie Miller is to know this impressive new Curb artist, a triple-threat talent singer, songwriter, and instrumentalist. She delivers all her songs in a strong, warm, unfettered soprano that connects with the head and the heart at precisely the same time. Instead of striking a choreographed stance or projecting a manufactured persona, Miller insists on just being herself.. http://www.mallofamerica. com/events/view/736. 952-853-0500 All JAMPT Up: 20-Mar, 7:00 PM, Prairie Pond Vineyard and Winery, 105 E Main St, New Prague, Free. We are back at the winery

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by popular demand! This is one of our favorite places to play! Great wine, great food, and a wonderful music venue. This is our first friday playing here - come out and relax after a long work week.... we’ll do the rest!. http:// prairiepondwinery.com.

Alison Scott: 20-Mar, 7:30 PM, The Historic Paramount Theatre, 125 4th Ave NE, Austin, $15 . ‘Somewhere between Carole King and Alicia Keys a force to be reckoned with.’ - John Ziegler (Duluth Tribune) Alison Scott has made her way up through the music industry the good old-fashioned way--word of mouth. With very little media hype to help her along, Scott has made an indelible impression on soul music and the soul of music. Working with multi-platinum guitarist/ producer Kevin Bowe (Paul Westerberg, Etta James, Jonny Lang), drummer Peter Anderson (Polara, Honeydogs) and bass player Justin Rieken (Diamondhead, Mick

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I hope I don’t yank anyone’s prideful Minnesota chain here, but I really feel there is a lack of good music festivals in this state. Not exceptional, not history making, but just good. Maybe I am out of the loop, or maybe I have only been exposed to the people who throw neon shit all over their face and pack a hula-hoop before heading to one. I don’t know. But I do know I was pretty excited when I stumbled upon this. All I want is a couple days of honest, good music filled with people who aren’t drunk off what the guy in the tent next to them had to offer.

Oh, and I like variety. There is an extensive line-up for this event of over 100 acts that will perform in one of ten different venues spread out over a three day period. I am a sucker for the banjo and creamy voices. Chastity Brown has both of these qualities, and an afro which I love as well. Am I the only one who finds a nice, fluffy afro on a woman stunning? Some may be getting tired of these bluesy folk-rock bands that have kept emerging since The Avett Brothers hit the radio, but Small Town Anthem is a respectable band from the Twin Cities who has a great sound.

In case you aren’t picking up what I’m laying down, both of these artists will be at Midwest Music Fest. An event that was “Loosely modeled on Salem, Oregon’s “Cherry City Music Fest” (which was loosely modeled on Austin’s South by Southwest).” Whatever that means, it is an event that brings crowds of music lovers and is growing in popularity each year. www.midwestmusicfest.org – – Autumn Van Ravenhorst, editor@southernminnscene.com

Sterling and the Irresistibles, Cate Fierro), Alison has become one of the most popular live acts in Minneapolis, once selling out a dozen consecutive shows at the Dakota Jazz Club. Tickets: $15 in advance / $20 at the door / kids 12 and under free. http://www. austinareaarts.org/events.

Amy Kortuem: 20-Mar, 7:30 PM, Waseca Arts Council, , Waseca, $17 . As a special St. Patrick’s Day celebration, the Waseca Arts Council is presenting a concert with Celtic harp artist, Amy Korteum. The concert is at 7:30 p.m. on Friday, March 20 in the

Kent & Diane Schultz Auditorium at the Waseca Art Center. Korteum will perform traditional Irish and original music. There will be songs and stories in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day. Tickets are now on sale by calling 507-835-1701. Tickets are $17 and a student is free when accompanied by a paying adult. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. Pre-concert beverages are provided. The auditorium is on the second floor and without elevator; it is not handicapped accessible. This concert is being sponsored in part by the E.F.Johnson Foundation/ Waseca Area Foundation.

Korteum grew up in rural Mankato, Min-

nesota, and began classical piano training when she was 11 years old. In 1988, Korteum received a Celtic harp as a gift from a family friend, an Irishman named Jack McGowan.

With four recordings, a music video and a rich performance history and schedule to her credit, Korteum’s playing is in high demand.

Her audiences have included everyone from preschool children and outdoor festivalgoers, to dignitaries like Mikhail Gorbachev.

She has performed at the Minnesota Irish Fair in St. Paul, Minnesota, and the Rock Bend

Turn

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27

Taken from their Facebook.

REO Speedwagon April 3rd - 8:00 p.m.

Mystic Lake Casino, Prior Lake Although Kevin Cronin’s hair has gone from a ruffled ball of brown fluff to platinum blonde and oh-so neatly tousled, not much has changed with the band. They are still churning out music though their greatest hits remain in the 1970’s, mostly. Don’t listen to REO if you are on the brink of a break-up though. Steer clear of REO’s Say you Love me or Say Goodnight, Time for Me to Fly, or Take it on the Run—trust me. Someone in that band was seriously frustrated. But a lot of the bands of this time were overly emotional so I won’t rip on REO too hard.

Like many bands of that time who were whipping out top hits, you’re gonna hear a lot of power ballads. But you are also going to hear some of the must distinct voices of all time. Kevin Cronin, like David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, and Glenn Danzig, have voices that are immediately recognized without so much as a guitar riff to back them up. And though I mock some of their cheesy lyrics, the band really has made a huge impact on the culture of their genre along with attaining a whole mess of gold and platinum records.

They know how to rock. www.mysticlake.com/reo.php – – Autumn Van Ravenhorst, editor@southernminnscene.com

From 27 Folk Festival in St. Peter, Minnesota. She also owns a Lyon & Healy concert harp and has performed with the Mankato Symphony Orchestra as well as other orchestral groups, and she has also accompanied well-known vocal chamber ensembles such as Magnum Chorum and Musicorum. Korteum has been awarded two Prairie Lakes Arts Council Individual Artist Grants, a Prairie Lakes Regional Arts Council Artist Fellowship Grant and a Minnesota State Arts Board Artist Initiative Grant to further her music studies and career. For more information, visit www. wasecaartscouncil.org.

Live Music: 20-Mar, 8:00 PM, Mystic Lake Casino Hotel, 2400 Mystic Lake Blvd, Prior Lake, Free. Centrally located near the Promenade Stage and the blackjack pit, DrinX Bar is the place to see and be seen.

Serving your favorite adult beverages until 2 a.m. daily, with live music every Friday and Saturday night.. http://www.mysticlake.com/ bars/drinxbar. (952) 445-9000”Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Carousel Promenade Stage Live Music: 20-Mar, 9:00 PM, Mystic Lake Casino Hotel, 2400

Mystic Lake Blvd, Prior Lake, Free. For the best free music in the Twin Cities, check out Mystic Lake’s Promenade Stage! Enjoy live entertainment while you play on one of our 4,000 slot machines and 100 blackjack tables, or just saddle up to the stage for an up-close concert experience. Be sure to check out all of the bands coming to the Promenade Stage it’s all a part of the best entertainment value in Minnesota.. http://www.mysticlake. com/entertainment/freeentertainment. (952) 445-9000”The Awful Truth DJ Don’t Josh Me: 21-Mar, 7:00 PM, Casper’s Cherokee of Eagan, 4625 Nicols Road, Eagan, See Website. DJ Don’t Josh Me! Saturdays Only at Caspers party barn central!

Featuring EDM, Top 40 Remix and dance music and more.. http://casperscherokee. com/calendar-upcomming-agenda/. (651) 454-6744”Magic Man Love is a Rose: 21-Mar, 8:00 PM, Chanhassen Dinner Theatre, 501 West 78th Street, Chanhassen, $40-$55. An absolute must see! This show returns to Chanhassen by popular demand! Don’t miss an incredible evening of Linda Ronstadt’s powerfully heartfelt hit songs performed by two of Minnesotas most loved and respected singers Pamela

McNeill, and Minnesota Music Hall of Famer, Mary Jane Alm. Take a trip down memory lane and hear songs including: When Will I Be Loved, Blue Bayou, Heatwave, Youre No Good, Ooh Baby, Baby, Its So Easy, Poor, Poor Pitiful Me and Hurt So Bad. Joined by an incredible band including many members of the highly acclaimed Fleetwood Mac tribute, Rumours and Dreams. We love these girls and you will too! An absolute must-see!. https://www.chanhassendt.com/Online/default.asp?BOparam::WScontent::loadArticle::p ermalink=loveisarose&BOparam::WScontent:: loadArticle::context_id=. (952) 934-1525 Grupo Kalor: 22-Mar, 2:00 PM, Chanhassen Library - MN, 7711 Kerber Blvd, Chanhassen, Free. Grupo Kalor consists of eight band members with Latino roots who come together to play the heat of a Sonidera music style. ‘Our music is not like mariachi or polka, but it is a high-energy, fast, tropical sounding music and rhythm,’ explains band member Sauceda. Grupo Kalor’s playbook covers songs made popular by today’s Latino artists. Music played originates from Latin American countries and south-of-the border music scenes. Band leader Marco Pliego, 33, formed Grupo Kalor four years ago. The

Chastity Brown / Prior Lake Library / Prior Lake / 4.2

band name Grupo Kalor stems from how Pliego wanted to bring some heat with music to help endure Minnesota’s long winters. The Spanish word ‘calor’ means ‘hot’ although Pliego changed the word spelling to ‘kalor.’ ‘I decided I wanted the name to reflect energy and heat, so Kalor means heat and hot,’ he said.. http://melsacarver.evanced.info/signup/ EventDetails.aspx?EventId=9692&lib=.

952-227-1500 Northern Roots Session: 23-Mar, 7:30 PM, The Contented Cow, 302B Division

Street South, Northfield, Free. Join us for roots music tonight at The Contended Cow, a Northfield, MN pub with a British accent!. http://1001solutionsllc.com/thecontented-cow/calendar/#.Um28cO1Dvo5.

507.663.1351”Tango Desperados Open Mic Night: 24-Mar, 7:00 PM, Babe’s Music Bar, 20685 Holyoke Ave. S., Lakeville, Free. Babe’s is the best place for great drinks, music and atmosphere. We feature multiple giant big screens and a great dance floor. Join us tonight for our weekly open mic!. http://

www.babesmusicbar.com/Events.asp. (952) 469-5200”Dirty Shorts Brass Band Acoustic Jam: 24-Mar, 7:30 PM, The Contented Cow, 302B Division Street South, Northfield, Free. Don’t miss our weekly acoustic jam, tonight at The Contented Cow.. http://1001solutionsllc.com/thecontented-cow/calendar/#.Um28cO1Dvo5.

507.663.1351”The Decemberists Line Dance Lessons: 26-Mar, 7:00 PM, Starks Saloon, 3125 Dodd Rd, Eagan, See Website. All skill levels, all types of music.

First lesson starts at 7:00 pm. Under 21 is okay before 9:00 pm.. http://starks-saloon. com/. (651) 454-8251”Jett Fetish Whole Lotta Zep & Madd Company: 26-Mar, 8:00 PM, Ames Center, 12600 Nicollet Avenue, Burnsville, $42-$62. Twoof classic rock’s most celebrated Supergroups of the 70’s:Led Zeppelin and Bad Company will share the stage in this all-hit tribute eveningof great rock fun! Firstup on the bill is ‘Madd Company’ performing all the great songsfrom Paul Rodgers and Bad Company! ‘Can’tGet

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ADD YOUR EVENT FOR FREE TO THE TIMELINE CALENDAR. GO TO W W W. S O U T H E R N M I N N . C O M / S C E N E / C A L E N D A R & C L I C K + A D D A N E V E N T

Enough of Your Love,’ ‘Ready For Love,’ Bad Company,’ ‘Wishing Well, ‘RockSteady,’ ‘Movin On’... you will be amazed at how many hits this ensemble had!. http://www.amescenter.com/zep.html.

MAR 27 - APR 2: Warren Streets: 27-Mar, 6:30 PM, Chankaska Creek Ranch And Winery, 1179 E. Pearl Street, Kasota, Free. Live entertainment begins at 6:30 p.m. and ends at 9:30 p.m. every Friday and Saturday. Entertainment schedule may change without notice.. http:// www.chankaskawines.com/events/live_entertainment. 507-931-0089 The Diamonds: 27-Mar, 7:00 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 West 3rd Street, Red Wing, $17.50-$22.50. The Diamonds perform not only their hits from the 50’ and 60’s but also pay tribute to the classic four-part vocal groups of the era The Four Lads, The Four Aces, The Four Freshmen, The Four Preps, The Brothers Four and The Four Seasons.

They also honor some of the greatest solo artists in Rock ‘n Roll history Bobby Darin, Buddy Holly and Elvis Presley. Classic doowop songs at their best, featuring fabulous vocal harmonies accented by their talents as instrumentalists on saxophone, trumpet and trombone The Diamonds.. http://www. sheldontheatre.org/events/thediamonds.

651-388-8700 Andy Tackett Fridays: 27-Mar, 7:30 PM, Signature Bar & Grill, 201 Central Ave. N, Faribault, Free. Playing songs from many genres, Andy has a keen ability to replicate pop songs. His voice hits the proper notes; and his fingers hit the proper frets. Combined, the effect will hit your nostalgia button every time. His song list includes songs from many artists including; Little River Band, Johnny Cash, England Dan and John Ford Coley, Glen Campbell and Jimmy Buffett and many others.. http://www.sigbarandgrill.com/.

Guilty Pleasures Orchestra: 27-Mar, 8:00 PM, Jackpot Junction Casino, 39375 County Highway 24, Morton, See Website. Live music lives...members of Aaron Baron, Wake-

field, and The Glory Holes have joined forces to bring the thunder and fun back to Rock ‘n’ Roll...welcome please...the Guilty Pleasures Orchestra! This powerful 5 piece line-up with decades of experience specializes in 70’s and 80’s rock and pop recreated just like your albums, brought to you live! There isn’t a song you won’t know and not a moment you won’t be headed to the dance floor!. http:// jackpotjunction.com/entertainment/classiclounge/. 507-697-8000 Chan-o-laires!: 28-Mar, 11:00 AM, Chanhassen Library - MN, 7711 Kerber Blvd, Chanhassen, Free. Join us for a fun performance by the talented Chan-o-laires!. http://melsacarver.evanced.info/signup/ EventDetails.aspx?EventId=9578&lib=.

952-227-1500 Amanda Grace: 28-Mar, 11:00 AM, Belle Plaine Public Library, 125 West Main St, Belle Plaine, Free. Family friendly indie rocker Amanda Grace will be putting on a show thats fun for the whole family and full of whimsical songs. Shes on a music mission to create, inspire and strike awe in the hearts of her listeners of all ages.. http://melsascott. evanced.info/signup/eventcalendar.aspx?ag= &et=&df=list&cn=0&private=0&ln=ALL. The E.Z. Jazz Trio: 28-Mar, 6:30 PM, Chankaska Creek Ranch And Winery, 1179 E. Pearl Street, Kasota, Free. Live entertainment begins at 6:30 p.m. and ends at 9:30 p.m. every Friday and Saturday. Entertainment schedule may change without notice.. http:// www.chankaskawines.com/events/live_entertainment. 507-931-0089 Strings, Winds and Brass: 28-Mar, 7:00 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 West 3rd Street, Red Wing, $8.50-$17.50. A delightful evening of performances by students and staff in the music programs at Minnesota State College Southeast Technical. Each year is a little different, and each year promises to entertain.

Come share in this amazing talent with students that hail from around the state, the country and the world. www.sheldontheatre. org/events/mnscset15. 651-388-8700 Alison Scott: 28-Mar, 7:30 PM, Paradise

Fri • April 10

Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $17-$22. Students: 10. Singer/ songwriter Alison Scott is the strongest new voice to come out of Minneapolis in many years and her soulful, organic sound has quietly built a very large and loyal following.

While staying indier than indie and completely ignoring the hipster rulebook, through word of mouth with very little radio or media hype, Alison Scott is making the kind of soul music that music fans love. True music lovers have always responded to an amazing voice singing great songs, and they always will- from Aretha to Adele, this is timeless music that transcends style and fashion, something for the silent majority of listeners who aren’t interested in uffy pop or the trendy flavor of the month. Performing with platinum and Grammy-winning guitarist/producer Kevin Bowe, drummer Peter Anderson and bassist Steve Price, Alison has been selling out venues across the Midwest.. http://www. paradisecenterforthearts.org.

Jivin’ Ivan and The Kings of Swing: 28-Mar, 7:30 PM, Signature Bar and Grill, 201 Central Ave N, Faribault, Free. Do a little Spring Swing with Jivin’ Ivan and the Kings of Swing. Michael Hildebrandt, Ivan Whillock, Doug Madow, Mark Whillock, Paul Ousely and Dallas Musselman play some sassy and swell swing for listening or dancing. As we always say, Eat, Drink, Dance and Be Merry.. http://jivinivanandthekingsofswing.com.

Guilty Pleasures Orchestra: 28-Mar, 8:00 PM, Jackpot Junction Casino, 39375 County Highway 24, Morton, See Website. Live music lives...members of Aaron Baron, Wakefield, and The Glory Holes have joined forces to bring the thunder and fun back to Rock ‘n’ Roll...welcome please...the Guilty Pleasures Orchestra! This powerful 5 piece line-up with decades of experience specializes in 70’s and 80’s rock and pop recreated just like your albums, brought to you live! There isn’t a song you won’t know and not a moment you won’t be headed to the dance floor!. http:// jackpotjunction.com/entertainment/classiclounge/. 507-697-8000

Chastity Brown: 2-Apr, 7:00 PM, Prior Lake Library, 16210 Eagle Creek Ave. S.E., Prior Lake, See Website. Multigenre (indie, roots, soul, rock, blues, country, and more) pure talent that came to Minnesota via Tennessee, shes toured the U.S. and Europe and has had half her own lifetime and million gone before her to concoct her powerful sound. Shes recently shared stages with Micahel Kiwanuka, Mike Doughty, and Leon Russell.. http:// melsascott.evanced.info/signup/EventDetails. aspx?EventId=16980&lib=.

Amanda Grace / Belle Plaine Public Library / Belle Plaine / 3.28

APR 3-9: Live Music: 3-Apr, 8:00 PM, Mystic Lake Casino Hotel, 2400 Mystic Lake Blvd, Prior Lake, Free. Centrally located near the Promenade Stage and the blackjack pit, DrinX Bar is the place to see and be seen.

Serving your favorite adult beverages until 2 a.m. daily, with live music every Friday and Saturday night.. http://www.mysticlake.com/ bars/drinxbar. (952) 445-9000 REO Speedwagon: 3-Apr, 8:00 PM, Mystic Lake Casino Hotel, 2400 Mystic Lake Blvd, Prior Lake, See Website. REO Speedwagon Rock the night at our award-winning buffet before feeling the power of rock icons REO Speedwagon. This dinner and show pairing is available on Friday, April 3.. http://www. mysticlake.com/reospeedwagon15. (952) 445-9000 Claudia Schmidt: 4-Apr, 7:30 PM, Crossings at Carnegie, 320 East Avenue, Zumbrota, $18-$20. Schmidt’s silky-smooth voice and charismatic stage presence, coupled with Magraws seemingly endless positive energy, radiate through the music and on to those lucky enough to hear it. Together, these wellknown, highly regarded and veteran touring musicians put on a show that touches every human emotion.. http://crossingsatcarnegie. com/concertpages/claudiaschmidt.html.

(507) 732-7616 Live Music: 4-Apr, 8:00 PM, Mystic Lake Casino Hotel, 2400 Mystic Lake Blvd, Prior Lake, Free. Centrally located near the Promenade Stage and the blackjack pit,

DrinX Bar is the place to see and be seen.

Serving your favorite adult beverages until 2 a.m. daily, with live music every Friday and Saturday night.. http://www.mysticlake. com/bars/drinxbar. (952) 445-9000”Shane Martin Band

APR 10-16: Teen Show: 10-Apr, All Day, Edina Art Center, 4701 West 64th Street, Edina, Free.

The Teen Show is a collaboration with the talented students of Edina and Hopkins High School. Photography, drawing and painting,

In Concert

7:30pm, Bjorling Recital Hall Gustavus Adolphus College St. Peter, MN

and ceramics from young and emerging artists are featured. Join us for awards, food, and live music from high school musicians as well.. http://edinamn.gov/index.

Turn

Sat • April 11

7:30pm, SMSU Fine Arts Theatre Southern Minnesota State University Marshall, MN

Repertoire will include selections from our recent spring concert

We will also perform musical works that exemplify the LGBT choral movement and our mission of Gay Men Building Community Through Music.

St. Peter performance will be free and a free will offering will take place.

To purchase tickets in advance for the Marshall performance patrons can call (507) 537-7103. SMSU Tickets $12 (Free with SMSU ID)

For more info visit TCGMC.org ADD YOUR EVENT FOR FREE TO THE TIMELINE CALENDAR. GO TO W W W. S O U T H E R N M I N N . C O M / S C E N E / C A L E N D A R & C L I C K + A D D A N E V E N T

FOLLOW US

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29

Crossings at Carnegie / Zumbrota / 4.24

tvtropes.org

Sufjan Stevens

April 22nd - 7:30 p.m.

Northrop Auditorium, Minneapolis I don’t pay much attention to music Billboards, or any Billboard for that matter. I disregard the ones I see driving down the highway telling me to take an exit completely out of my way to eat a donut. And I certainly pay no attention to the music that sits on a list next to Meghan Trainor’s “Lips Are Movin.” If I were to care about any billboard, it would be the Top Heatseekers chart. They focus on new and developing artists. An artist on this chart interests me much more than those who have completely bypassed it and were slapped right on the Top 100.

How does this relate to Sufjan? Well, he hit number on the Billboard Top Heatseekers chart with his song “Chicago.” So, there.

Sufjan means “comes with a sword” in Arabic and is pronounced SOOFyahn (I hope I’m not the only one who tried to sound that out on my own multiple times). Even if his name were literal, I don’t think he would even be able to fit that bit in to his performance given the sheer number of musicians this guy can play. He is a multi-instrumentalist who can rip on the banjo, guitar, piano, drums, xylophone, oboe, or the English horn.

There is a lot to say about him. He has been in a folk band, garage band, American rock band, came out with a Christmas album, been recognized for Gospel, and you can see photos of him with an ensemble illuminated by neon lights.

He is spiritual. He is diverse. He is talented. Just, check him out. www.northrop.umn.edu/events/sufjan-stevens – – Autumn Van Ravenhorst, editor@southernminnscene.com

From 29 php?section=2015-gallery-schedule#mcpge.

(952) 903-5780”Duke Otherwise The Big Sing: 11-Apr, 7:00 PM, Mayo Civic Center, 30 Civic Center Drive, Rochester,

$15-$25. Advance: General - $15, Preferred - $20; Day Of: General - $20, Preferred - $25.

Organized in 1930 by Dr. Harold Cooke, the Rochester Male Chorus (RMC) will celebrate its 85th anniversary by hosting The Big Sing on Saturday, April 11 at the Mayo Civic Center. The event, which RMC

last hosted in 2005, will feature 300 male voices from 11 member choruses based in Minnesota, Wisconsin and North Dakota. Six choruses, including RMC, will perform solo numbers and the remaining selections will be performed en masse by all of the choruses.

The Classic Brass, a popular brass quintet in

southeast Minnesota, will also perform. Robin Wolfram, KTTC TV news co-anchor, will emcee the concert.. http://www.mayociviccenter. com/upcoming_events/eventdetails.

Okee Dokee Brothers: 13-Apr, 6:00 PM, St James American Legion, 620 1st Ave South, St James, Free. Grammy Award winning Okee Dokee Brothers to perform a family-friendly concert! This event is free and is made possible by Minnesota’s Arts and Cultural Heritage Fund.. http://tdslib.org.

Dance Held by the Waseca Area Senior Center: 16-Apr, 7:30 PM, Waseca American Legion, 700 S State St., Waseca, Free.

Dance held by Waseca Area Senior Center.. .

507-833-9935

APR 17-23: As The Record Turns: 17-Apr, 5:00 PM, The Arts Center of Saint Peter, 315 S. Minnesota Avenue, St Peter, Free. Kickoff to Record Store Day, a national retail tradition since 2007 in support of independent record stores, takes place this year on Saturday, April 18. ‘As the Record Turns,’ mixed media popart paintings by Mankato artist and musician Amanda Wirig.. . 507-931-3630 Okee Dokee Brothers: 17-Apr, 6:00 PM, Fairmont Opera House, 45 Downtown Plaza, Fairmont, Free. Grammy Award winning artists The Okee Dokee Brothers will perfrom a family-friendly concert! Made possible by funding from Minnesota’s Arts and Cultural Heritage Fund.. http://tdslib.org.

507-238-4900 Okee Dokee Brothers: 17-Apr, 6:00 PM, Fairmont Opera House, 45 Downtown Plaza, Fairmont, Free. GRAMMY Awardwinning family-fun concert. Free and open to the public. Seats available on a first come, first-served basis. This program is funded by money from Minnesota’s Arts and Cultural Heritage Fund.. http://tdslib.org.

507-238-4900 Black Violin: 17-Apr, 7:00 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 West 3rd Street, Red Wing, $11.50-$20.50. Advanced Tickets: $17.50 - $11.50* Day of Show (add $3 per ticket): $20.50 - $14.50*. It’s hard to think of another African-American violin player to make their mark in popular music, so classically trained South Florida twosome, Wilner ‘Wil B’ Baptiste and Kevin ‘Kev Marcus’ Sylvester, who go by the name Black Violin are a welcome revelation for their ability to meld highbrow and pop culture, ‘Brandenburg’ and ‘breakdown,’ into a single genre-busting act.

The band’s most recent album, Classically Trained, is the follow-up to their 2007 selftitled debut on their own Di-Versatile Music Group label, which is as good an introduction to their groundbreaking blend of classical, hip-hop, rock, R&B, and even bluegrass music. Live, they are often accompanied by their crack band, featuring ace turntable whiz DJTK (Dwayne Dayal), drummer Beatdown (Jermaine McQueen) and cellist Joe Cello (Joseph Valbrun). ‘We’re the biggest independent group that no one has ever heard of, ‘ says Kev.. http://www.sheldontheatre.org/ events/blackviolin. 651-388-8700 Black Violin: 18-Apr, 7:30 PM, Fairmont Opera House, 45 Downtown Plaza, Fairmont, $10-$20. Wilner ‘Wil B’ Baptiste and Kevin ‘Kev Marcus’ Sylvester, who go by the name Black Violin are a welcome revelation for their ability to meld highbrow and pop-culture, ‘Brandenburg’ and ‘breakdown’ into a single genre-busting act. Live they are often accompanied by their crack band, featuring ace turntable whiz DJTK (Dwayne Dayal), drummer Beatdown (Jermaine McQueen) and cellist Joe Cello (Joseph Valbrun). Watch for their new CD ‘Classically Trained’. Black Violin dazzled at the presidential inauguration.

Sponsored by: The Dr. Roger & Beth Neist Family & Hy-Vee Performance @ 7:30 p.m.

Bar & Box Office Open @ 6:30 p.m. Tickets: $20/Adult - $10/Student - No Refunds or Exchanges Available at www.fairmontoperahouse.com or by phone 507-238-4900 w/ CC FOH Office M, T, W & F 9 a.m. - 2 p.m.

Always Open to the Public!. http://www. fairmontoperahouse.com. 507-238-4900 The Gibson Brothers: 18-Apr, 7:30 PM, Mayo Civic Center, 30 Civic Center Drive, Rochester, $21.75-$24. Member - $21.75; Non-Member - $24. The Gibson Brothers bring great honor to the deeply-rooted traditions of country and bluegrass music.

They have fine-tuned their abilities to blend powerhouse harmonies with virtuosic picking, and the caliber of their live performance is a clear reflection of their dedicated and developed musicianship. Considering that the Gibson Brothers were the 2012 recipients of Bluegrass Music’s highest honor, the IBMA Entertainer of the Year trophy, it is safe to say that The Gibson Brothers are truly delivering an award-winning live sound.. http://www. mayociviccenter.com/upcoming_events/ eventdetails.

Symphonic Series - The Jewish Soul - Klezmer and Classical: 19-Apr, 3:00 PM, Mankato West High School, 1351 S. Riv-

erfront Dr., Mankato, $8.50 . When Ken heard ecstatic clarinetist David Krakauer for the first time,he immediately invited him to Mankato.

Krukauer has been praised for his astounding ability to play a myriad of musical genres with ‘prodigious chops’ (The New Yorker) and a ‘soulfulness and electrifying showiness’ (The New York Times). A true virtuoso, Krukauer is one of the world’s finest classical and Klezmer (traditional Jewish folk music) clarinetists.

The Mozart Clarinet Concerto and other classical works set the stage for a mystical and wild journey, and the Klezmer tunes will have your toes tapping and your hands clapping. Kenneth Freed conducts.. http://www. mankatosymphony.com/symphonic-seriesjewish-soul-klezmer-and-classical.

Gaither Vocal Band: 19-Apr, 3:00 PM, Mayo Civic Center, 30 Civic Center Drive, Rochester, $22.50-$73.50. Groups - $22.50; Seniors & Kids- $24.50; General - $27.50; Artist Circle - $37.50; Premium - $73.50. A full afternoon of entertainment and meaningful music is a rare treat anytime, but when the occasion includes the best-loved voices in gospel music it’s a must-see celebration!

If you attend just one musical event this year, an afternoon hosted by Bill Gaither and featuring the Gaither Vocal Band and special guests is one you can’t miss. It will leave you encouraged, grateful and most certainly smiling!. http://www.mayociviccenter.com/ upcoming_events/eventdetails.

APR 24-30: Old Blind Dogs: 24-Apr, 7:30 PM, Crossings at Carnegie, 320 East Avenue, Zumbrota, $26-$29. Traditional Scottish music never sounded so brand-new as when Old Blind Dogs grab hold of it, attack it with all the energy of modern music, and shape it into the band’s own unmistakable sound.. http:// crossingsatcarnegie.com/concertpages/ oldblinddogs.html. (507) 732-7616 Family Series: Haydn Go Seek; The Donkey: 25-Apr, 11:00 AM, Mankato Family YMCA, 1401 S. Riverfront Dr., Mankato, Free.

MSO’s Family Concert Series is now FREE! Enjoy four hilarious and fun filled performances based on Haydn’s String Quartets with the German composer and the MSO String Quartet. Suitable for all ages. Each child gets to take home a gift and a snack at the end of each show. Performances begin at 11 am, last approximately 45 minutes, and feature live classical music and interactive educational activities. A perfect first concert experience. It’s OK for the kids to sing and

dance along!. http://www.mankatosymphony. com/family-series-haydn-go-seek.

Sheldon Theatre Brass Band: 25-Apr, 7:00 PM, Sheldon Theatre, 443 West 3rd Street, Red Wing, $11.50-$20.50. Advanced Tickets: $17.50 - $11.50* Day of Show (add $3 per ticket): $20.50 - $14.50*. The Sheldon Theatre Brass Band was founded in 1989 as the resident performing ensemble at the newly-restored, turn-of-the-century, T. B. Sheldon Theatre in Red Wing, Minnesota.

We are currently enjoying our 25th season of music-making. We use the instrumentation of the traditional British-style brass band and play a broad variety of musical styles. In addition to our regular performances at the Sheldon Theatre, we perform at a variety of venues throughout Minnesota and western Wisconsin, and have performed at many brass band festivals throughout the United States including NABBA championships, the Chicago Open, and the Great American Brass Band Festival. We released our fifth compact disc, Black, White & Blue in 2009.. http://www.sheldontheatre.org/events/ Stbbspring2015. 651-388-8700 The Broadway Dolls: 25-Apr, 8:00 PM, Ames Center, 12600 Nicollet Avenue, Burnsville, $39 . 40th Annual Concert for Caring featuring the Broadway Dolls. The fun starts at 6 PM Live jazz music featuring the 18 piece Real Big Band Complimentary appetizers and delicious desserts Value-packed silent auction you wont want to miss The Broadway Dolls take the stage at 8 PM. http://www. ames-center.com/broadway-dolls.html.

Dakota Valley Symphony Young Artists’ Concert: 26-Apr, 2:00 PM, Ames Center, 12600 Nicollet Avenue, Burnsville, $20 .

The winners of our seventh annual Young Artists competition will be featured in our final concert of the season. The University of Minnesota Health Sciences Orchestra will also join us for this concert. Together we will perform Tchaikovsky’s dramatically powerful and lyrically romantic Fourth Symphony.. http://www.ames-center.com/dakota-valleysymphony.html.

NIGHTLIFE MAR 20-26: Bar Bingo: 20-Mar, 6:00 PM, Faribault Eagles Club, 2027 Grant St. N.W., Faribault, Free. Come for Bar Bingo! Baskets served from 5-7 p.m.. . “Bar Bingo Euchre Tournament: 21-Mar, 11:00 AM, Grandpa Al’s, 28 Third St. N.W., Faribault, $5.

Everyone welcome.. . “Bar Bingo DJ Don’t Josh Me: 21-Mar, 7:00 PM, Casper’s Cherokee of Eagan, 4625 Nicols Road, Eagan, See Website. DJ Don’t Josh Me! Saturdays Only at Caspers party barn central!

Featuring EDM, Top 40 Remix and dance music and more.. http://casperscherokee. com/calendar-upcomming-agenda/. (651) 454-6744”Drinkin’ Spelling Bee Live DJ & Karaoke Night!: 21-Mar, 9:00 PM, The Bar Hastings, 2101 Vermillion Street, Hastings, Free. It’s karaoke night at The Bar Hastings! Come and sing your heart out with us. Shot specials every hour from 9pm-close! 11pm 1am 2 for 1 Minnesota Pints!. http://www.thebarhastings.com/special/. (651) 437-2744”Karaoke Bingo: 25-Mar, 7:00 PM, Just One More, Owatonna, Free. Bingo, come play!. .

507-444-2379”Bingo Bar Bingo: 26-Mar, 6:00 PM, Faribault Eagles Club, 2027 Grant Street N.W., Faribault, Free. Baskets served from 5-7 p.m.

VFW Bar Bingo: 26-Mar, 6:00 PM, VFW, 135 Oakdale, Owatonna, Free. 5:30-7:30 p.m. hamburger baskets. Come have fun!. .

507-444-2379”Bar Bingo Karaoke: 26-Mar, 9:00 PM, Buster’s Sports Bar & Grill, 1325 Madison Avenue, Mankato, Free. Every Week sing your heart out at

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The Broadway Dolls / Ames Center / Burnsville / 4.25 busters with Karaoke. Let the gang here entertain you while serving and making your night fun.. http://www.bustersbar.com/blog/ event-calendar.

Water Pong Tournament: 26-Mar, 9:00 PM, Babe’s Music Bar, 20685 Holyoke Ave. S., Lakeville, Free. Babe’s is the best place for great drinks, music and atmosphere. We feature multiple giant big screens and a great dance floor. Play in our water pong tourney tonight and compete for the $200 first prize!. http://www.babesmusicbar.com/Events.asp.

(952) 469-5200”The Rowdy Cowboy Show!

Owatonna, Free. Free admission and popcorn.

The movie is ‘Hopeful Notes’. The church has a movie night the last Friday of each month at 7 p.m. For title of the movie each month and the synopsis, go to www.nbcowatonna.com.

507-444-2379

APR 24-30:

Maple Syruping: Tapping into Nature: 20-Mar, 10:00 AM, Cleary Regional Lake Park, 18106 Texas Ave., Prior Lake, $5 .

Discover maple syruping. Identify trees, tap, and collect the sap. See how it boils into syrup. Children 17 years and younger must be accompanied by a registered adult. Reservations required. *20% discount for groups of four or more.. http://www.threeriversparks. org/events/M/maple-syruping--tapping-intonature--.aspx.

Game Day: 20-Mar, 12:00 PM, Chankaska Creek Ranch And Winery, 1179 E. Pearl Street, Kasota, Free. Every Friday will be game day at Chankaska Creek! We will have a few games available for you but feel free to bring your own. We will take 10% off your glass of wine.. http://www. chankaskawines.com/events/winery_events.

507-931-0089”Nature Play Date Bingo: 26-Mar, 12:30 PM, Club Prior, 15210 Eagle Creek Ave., Prior Lake, Free. Join us for a game of BINGO. Only 25 centers per card. Come and win some prizes!. http:// www.cityofpriorlake.com/documents/ club_prior.pdf.

The Paranormal Affair: 24-Apr, 6:30 PM, Washington Recreation Center, 117 Shumway Ave., Faribault, $10-$15. $10 (1-day) $15 (2-days). With public interest in all-things paranormal at an all-time high, Faribault Park & Rec has gather paranormal investigators and practioners from around the state for a two-day expo! The event explores topics like ghosts, hauntings and other meta-physical phenomena.. http://www.theparanormalaffair. com/home.html.

FILM MAR 20-26: Speechless Film Festival: 20-Mar, 7:00 PM, Downtown Mankato, multiple venues, Mankato, $3-$35. $3 for single screening, $15 for festival pass, $35 for VIP festival pass. Speechless is an international film festival inspired by the universal art of visual storytelling.The festival is named for our signature category Speechless Shorts though we also receive and show films in a broader range of categories. Our showcases include drama, thriller, culture, animation and more.

In addition to film showcases, Speechless hosts a number of guest speakers, special screenings, and events with food and music.

The event occurs March 19-21, 2015. http:// speechlessfilmfestival.com/.

Speechless Film Festival: 21-Mar, 7:00 PM, Downtown Mankato, multiple venues, Mankato, $3-$35. $3 for single screening, $15 for festival pass, $35 for VIP festival pass. Speechless is an international film festival inspired by the universal art of visual storytelling.The festival is named for our signature category Speechless Shorts though we also receive and show films in a broader range of categories. Our showcases include drama, thriller, culture, animation and more.

In addition to film showcases, Speechless hosts a number of guest speakers, special screenings, and events with food and music.

The event occurs March 19-21, 2015. http:// speechlessfilmfestival.com/.

MAR 27 - APR 2: Movie Night: 27-Mar, 7:00 PM, New Beginnings Christian Church, 332 14th Street NE,

Taken from their Facebook.

Black Violin

April 18th - 7:30 p.m.

Fairmont Opera House, Fairmont

OUTDOORS MAR 20-26:

MAR 27 - APR 2: Maple Syruping: Tapping into Nature: 27-Mar, 1:00 PM, Cedar Lake Farm Regional Park, 400 W. 260th St., New Prague, $5 .

Discover maple syruping. Identify trees, tap, and collect the sap. See how it boils into syrup. Children 17 years and younger must be accompanied by a registered adult. Reservations required. *20% discount for groups of four or more.. http://www.threeriversparks. org/events/M/maple-syruping--tapping-intonature--.aspx.

Luck of the Irish John Ireland School FUNdraiser: 28-Mar, 9:30 AM, Church of St. Peter, 1801 W Broadway Ave, St. Peter, $15-$30. 7K Run $30 Kids Run $15. 7K Run/ Walk at 9:30 a.m. $30 (must pre-register).

Kids Run at 10:30 a.m. $15. For more information www.churchofstpeter.org/ji or call 507-931-2810.. http://www.churchofstpeter. org/ji. 507-931-2810 Maple Syrup Time: 28-Mar, 2:00 PM, Richardson Nature Center, 8737 E. Bush Lake Road, Bloomington, $5 . Discover one of Minnesota’s oldest traditions, maple syruping. Learn what is needed, why it works, and see the process in action. Tap a tree in the sugar bush, collect sap, and bring it to the evaporator. Try maple syrup and sugar.. http://

Maple Syruping: Tapping into Nature / Clearly Regional Lake Park / Prior Lake / 3.20

www.threeriversparks.org/events/M/maplesyrup-time--.aspx.

APR 3-9: No School Open Swim: 3-Apr, 1:00 PM, Le Sueur Community Center, 821 East Ferry St., Le Sueur, Free. No School Open Swim, free for members.. . 507-665-3325”Nature Play Date

APR 10-16: Three Rivers Environmental Education for Seniors: 13-Apr, 12:00 PM, Cleary Regional Lake Park, 18106 Texas Ave., Prior Lake, $10 . Highlight various environmental topics in Minnesota with a monthly conservation-minded reading and guest speaker. Includes a catered lunch.

Reservations required by Wednesday prior.. http://www.threeriversparks.org/events/T/ three-rivers-environmental-education-forseniors--trees-.aspx.

THEATER MAR 20-26: Mary’s Wedding: 20-Mar, 7:30 PM, Commonweal Theatre, 208 Parkway Ave N., Lanesboro, $20 . Charlie and Mary are falling in love, but their relationship is tested as Charlie is called to defend his country at the onset of World War I. When letters are not enough, the two transcend reality and



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

meet again one night in Mary’s dream. The Commonweal Apprentice Company proudly presents this moving and inspiring tale of what it can mean to truly love someone.. http://www.commonwealtheatre.org/calendar. html. 507-467-2905”Hir The Fox on the Fairway: 21-Mar, 7:30 PM, Lakeville Area Arts Center, 20965 Holyoke Avenue, Lakeville, $13 . A tribute from Ken Ludwig to the great English farces of the 1930s and 1940s, The Fox on the Fairway takes audiences on a hilarious romp which pulls the rug out from underneath the stuffy denizens of a private country club. A charmingly madcap adventure about love, life, and mans eternal love affair with... golf!. http://test.lakevillemn.gov/index. php?option=com_jevents&task=icalrepeat. detail&evid=5765&Itemid=1364&year=2015 &month=03&day=20&title=the-fox-on-the-f airway&uid=30f3638264cf41513255dec11b 4c5031. “The Nature Crown The Fox on the Fairway: 22-Mar, 2:00 PM, Lakeville Area Arts Center, 20965 Holyoke Avenue, Lakeville, $13 . A tribute from Ken Ludwig to the great English farces of the 1930s and 1940s, The Fox on the Fairway takes audiences on a hilarious romp which pulls the rug out from underneath the stuffy denizens of a private country club. A charmingly madcap adventure about love, life, and mans eternal love affair with... golf!. http://test.lakevillemn.gov/index. php?option=com_jevents&task=icalrepeat. detail&evid=5765&Itemid=1364&year=2015 &month=03&day=20&title=the-fox-on-the-f airway&uid=30f3638264cf41513255dec11b 4c5031. “The Debutante’s Ball

           

I could eloquently describe a classic orchestral performance in effort to persuade you, the public, in attending this event and appear that I am knowledgeable about such performances—which I am not. In fact, I do not know anything about violins, cellos, or clarinets. My sister played the flute in high school, and (I think) I got pretty good at the electric keyboard when I was eight. But, lucky for me, this is not your typical orchestra and I don’t have to pretend like I know what I am talking about.

Black Violin does have some of the ingredients that make for a black-tie symphony—rows of talented musicians playing classical instruments on a beautiful stage. Throw in a couple guys sporting Chuck Taylor’s, a few neon lights, a DJ with a MacBook, one funky beat and you will have Black Violin. Their sound is nothing short of signature; I haven’t heard anything like it. It is brilliant. It is definitely something you can feel when listening or watching them groove across stage. The two trained artists, Kev Marcus and Wil B, show there truly are no limits to what this small string instrument can do. You know there is something exceptional about a group who has performed with both Alicia Keys and Linkin Park.

I had to do a double tap on our editor’s shoulder to include this duo on the calendar so be sure to give him a shout and let him know, “Hey, that Autumn knows what she is talking about.” www.fairmontoperahouse.com/ – – Autumn Van Ravenhorst, editor@southernminnscene.com

APR 3-9: SouthernMinn Dancers: 4-Apr, 8:00 AM, Waldorf Community Center, 109 Main Street N, Waldorf, $10 . Call 833-8210 for more information. $10 per person.

APR 10-16: Love, Loss and What I Wore: 10-Apr, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $10-$15. $10 Children 12 & Under/$15 Adults. This delightful and poignant play ‘is not about fashion; it is about what clothes really are to us, those moments when we are constantly trying to find our identity through them.’ These are the words of Nora Ephron, icon-ic movie writer and playwright. Nora and her sister Delia (who co-wrote ‘You’ve Got Mail’ with Nora) probe our memories through a series of conversations and monologues on topics such as mothers, prom dresses, buying bras, hating purses and why we only wear black.. http://www.paradisecenterforthearts.org.

Jesus Christ Superstar: 10-Apr, 7:30 PM, Ames Center, 12600 Nicollet Avenue, Burnsville, $19-$22. If you strip awaythe myth from the man, can you see where we all soon will be? In Tim Rice andAndrew Lloyd Webber’s milestone musical, the destinies and

struggles of Judas,Jesus, and the disciples collide as they try to make sense of their paths in life and grapple with the outcomes of their choices. Delve into one of thegreatest stories of all time with The Chameleon Theatre Circle, and experienceit as you never have before!. http://www.ames-center.com/ chameleon-theatre-circle.html.

Love, Loss and What I Wore: 11-Apr, 7:30 PM, Paradise Center for the Arts, 321 Central Ave., Faribault, $10-$15. $10 Children 12 & Under/$15 Adults. This delightful and poignant play ‘is not about fashion; it is about what clothes really are to us, those moments when we are constantly trying to find our identity through them.’ These are the words of Nora Ephron, icon-ic movie writer and playwright. Nora and her sister Delia (who co-wrote ‘You’ve Got Mail’ with Nora) probe our memories through a series of conversations and monologues on topics such as mothers, prom dresses, buying bras, hating purses and why we only wear black.. http://www.paradisecenterforthearts.org.

“The Crucible Jesus Christ Superstar: 11-Apr, 7:30 PM, Ames Center, 12600 Nicollet Avenue, Burnsville, $19-$22. If you strip awaythe myth from the man, can you see where we all

soon will be? In Tim Rice andAndrew Lloyd Webber’s milestone musical, the destinies and struggles of Judas,Jesus, and the disciples collide as they try to make sense of their paths in life and grapple with the outcomes of their choices. Delve into one of thegreatest stories of all time with The Chameleon Theatre Circle, and experienceit as you never have before!. http://www.ames-center.com/ chameleon-theatre-circle.html. “Love, Loss and What I Wore

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Experience Minnesota History!

Minnesota State Public School Orphanage Museum

 ADD YOUR EVENT FOR FREE TO THE TIMELINE CALENDAR. GO TO W W W. S O U T H E R N M I N N . C O M / S C E N E / C A L E N D A R & C L I C K + A D D A N E V E N T

540 West Hills Circle, Owatonna | phone: 507-774-7369 | www.orphanagemuseum.com

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i n health motion Julie Daniels is a freelance writer, personal trainer, nurse and local music afficianado.

She can be reached at julesaml@yahoo. com

JULEE DANIELS Trainer

Time

One at a Step

Where to begin?

**Editor’s Note - We are pleased to present our newest column, Health in Motion, which is a fitness column written by Faribault personal trainer and frequent Scene contributor Julee Daniels. Her column will run in a rotation with Brad Phenow’s outdoors column and Joann Jones’ fashion column.

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s a fitness coach for nearly thirty years I have found that the one thing that holds people back from getting started on a health and fitness regime is taking that first step. So many times I have had people ask me “what am I supposed to do?” or “how do I get started?” I am asked these questions because there is so much information out there on television, the internet and on social media. It’s simply over-whelming to anyone that has never worked out or needs to get back on the exercise wagon. My advice is simple: put one foot in front of the other and start moving.

Experience and common sense has made it obvious that taking the first step in anything that could change your life is quite scary. Feeling fearful or apprehensive is okay and to be expected. What I can offer you is this bit of encouragement: you aren’t wrong or making a mistake in getting up off that couch and

going for a walk or joining a gym.

I think there is a picture in people’s minds that to walk into a gym or to hop on a treadmill you already have to be “fit” and “experienced”. Not true.

Most people you see in a gym walking or running on a treadmill had to start somewhere, and that was by getting moving. I think it’s important to mention that having a gym membership or a trainer makes you accountable and there is something to say about being social and finding inspiration in what others accomplish.

It’s much more difficult to make an excuse not to go for a walk or hit the gym when someone else is depending on you showing up. There is also that monthly payment to the gym that is a good

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motivator. If you find yourself making excuses or putting off taking that first step, then I suggest making a “date” with a friend or your significant other and head to the gym or to a fitness class together.

If working out in front of others or the group experience isn’t your cup of tea, don’t despair, as there are many alternatives to going to the gym or hiring a fitness coach; and while it’s cold and snowy outside there are a multitude of exercise videos, online programs and books.

The library has a large selection of exercise videos and DVDs so you can find the type of exercise you like the best. I even have a library of DVDs for me to pull from when I’m not quite in the mood to leave the house. I would like to claim to be a genius but

Is this you?

...or this?

to be perfectly honest I go online and Google for new ideas or a new workout. The workout choices are endless. The only caution I give is to check with your physician before you start any workout regime and listen to your body.

Taking that first step to a healthier you isn’t something that I can force on you or that someone else can demand of you. The first step comes from within and the benefits will show in you. Inside and out.

Don’t know what to do?

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DOG's

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THE ADVENTURES OF STORMIN’ NORMAN Molly Larsen is a freelance writer in Southern Minnesota. Reach her on Twitter @ReporterMolly

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tormin’ Norman and I are so excited for April. The sun shines longer, temperatures are finally bearable, pavement and grass are peaking through and the earthy scent of spring is in the air.

All of these things mean that the Storm and I can run outside!

It’s big news every year. While we might begrudgingly trek through frosty conditions for a run every so often throughout the winter, nothing is as exciting as that first spring time run.

OFF TOPIC SIDEBAR: April is also

my birth month, so celebrate accordingly and send me something nice. My shoe size is 7.

Two summers ago and 200 feet from home, he was done.

Couldn’t move.

Wouldn’t Budge.

He refused to take any more of my slave-driving pace, so, in a fit of canine drama, he stopped, rolled over and let his tongue dangle from the side of his mouth. After a few minutes, a neighbor came out and jokingly asked if he needed to call 911. Then he ran back inside and brought Stormy some water. After a few gulps, and one of those “thank you for being such a kind human” looks to the neighbor, Stormy decided he could probably make it home.

This dog will do anyThe author and the star running a 5K. thing for attention.

Some days, Stormy eats his Wheaties and can take on a five or six mile run. But that’s his max and he’s probably still going to stop once we’re on the home stretch. These days, I just un-hook the leash and run away from him. And wouldn’t you know it?

He gets up and follows me.

Despite his antics, we’ve even run races together. 5ks are our specialty. Stormy doesn’t quit when we race, his adrenaline pumps and there are so many new people and dogs to make friends with and new scents to smell! He is so excited; he thinks he could run forever! If only he always had a racing mentality. a baby, we know this by now right?

While he might not be the best running My running companion is known to just stop when he feels the run is over (we don’t partner in the world, I still like him by my side. I enjoy the mental challenge of a run typically agree). In the heat, I don’t even and Stormy just likes to go! bother tempting Stormy with a long run, We are at peace when we run. My lucid because I know the drill. Two or so miles in, imagination takes me everywhere when I he stops mid-stride and plops down where run. I come up with my best writing while ever we are. He has no shame, he is done; on the move. Of course, this is not ideal, the game is over, finished. He is ready to be because I’m not stopping to record this carried home. Give him a tug of the leash magic that comes to me. Many of the and he’s apt to roll over and fake dead. He columns I wish appeared on these pages is making sure I know who runs the show and it’s not me. Sometimes this signifies the are somewhere on Rice County roads and end of a run, sometimes, after prodding, he trails.

Running, for many is a stress-reliever sucks it up and continues. and dogs and pets, in general, are stress Routinely, he gasses out just hundreds relievers for their owners, too. So put the of feet from our finish. This is mostly out of two together and it must be the ultimate exhaustion, but as this is Stormy we’re talktherapy, right? I suggest you try it if you ing about, he’s also just trying to come up haven’t. I just hope your four-legged friend with ways to stay outside’ running, sniffing, doesn’t wimp out Stormy-style. playing.

Run Stormy Run!

Stormy and I have not always been runners. When he debuted in the Larsen household, he was a fluffy blob of a dog, his golden hair tinted red gave him the look a chicken nugget.

I had just finished my freshman season of track and field at Bemidji State. I was a pole vaulter and wasn’t interested in running any farther than 400 meters. That was 2007. Little did we know, three years later Stormy would outgrow his nugget

If that’s okay with you...

state and I would actually want to run for more than one minute at a time.

It was the start of a beautiful running-ship.

Let’s be real, we weren’t taking off on hour-long runs or training for marathons. If not for any other reason than because the Storm is

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APRIL 23-25, 2015 – WINONA, MN The People Brothers Band

Chastity Brown

Charlie Parr

©Shannon Porter Photography

Fattenin’ Frogs

©Shannon Porter Photography

Charlie Parr • Communist Daughter • Chastity Brown Lucy Michelle featuring Chris Koza and John Munson Black Eyed Snakes • Frankie Lee • Black Market Brass DJ Abilities • Pieta Brown • Brass Messengers We Are The Willows • Toki Wright & Big Cats Southside Desire • Bad Bad Hats • Gabriel Douglas Corpse Reviver • The Traveling Suitcase J.E. Sunde • Circle of Heat • Stereo Confession Koo Koo Kanga Roo • Twins • France Camp • The Ericksons Farewell Milwaukee • Kevin Bowe and Okemah Prophets The Heavy Set • Fort Wilson Riot • Land of Blood and Sunshine Gloom Balloon • Fattenin’ Frogs • Rank Strangers Pill Hill • The Last Revel • The People Brothers Band Jack Klatt • Teenage Moods • Valaska • Porcupine Counterfactuals • batteryboy • Bones, Jugs, & Harmony Beet Root Stew • Mike Munson • General B & the Wiz Jaybone Bell & Restless Light • Breakaway • Botzy Ruben • Federales • The Ultrasounds • Har-di-Har Ali and the Scoundrels • LOTT • Rachel Kilgour Ryan Holweger • Gregg Hall • Joey Ryan • Gravy Train Christopher the Conquered • Brooks Strause

100 Midwest Acts • 11 Stages in Downtown Winona • 8 Musician’s Workshops Sounds Like School Stage • Songwriters Showcase • Jug Band Hokum Film Premiere

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devour Jill Mackey is a Faribault foodie.

Got a question about food or drinks for Jill? Email editor@southernminnscene.com

JILL MACKEY Faribault Foodie

Spring No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow.

-Proverb It happens every year without fail. Sometimes early, sometimes late, but it ALWAYS arrives.

Thank you Mother Nature! And with it comes some of the best and most flavorful fresh food of the year. Not to mention the healthiest and most nutritional. ‘We ARE what we eat’ and if we have made a promise to ourselves this year to eat healthier it doesn’t have to mean it can’t be delicious. As a matter of fact, eating healthy can be much more flavorful than processed unhealthy food. So your heart and palate will thank you.

“Food, if it’s chosen well, can reshape our medical destinies for the better,” says David Katz, MD, director of the Yale Prevention Research Center. It can improve your mood, focus, energy, skin, and metabolism. It can also assist in getting into ‘bathing suit’ shape. Now that will improve your mood!

Here is how to graze your way to a supercharged and healthy you.

Peas If you have not tried fresh Spring peas, at their peak from April through July, you haven’t lived.

Just steam them and serve with melted butter, a squeeze of fresh lemon and a sprinkle of kosher salt. They will have a nice ‘bite’ and such a fresh, beautiful flavor that you will mourn when they are no longer available. Use frozen, not mushy

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canned, when they are gone. Peas are low in fat and high in fiber and are a good source of plant protein.

Eggs Consider eggs. Triggered by longer daylight, birds begin their heavy laying season as Spring arrives.

Eggs have a unique nutritional profile all their own -- different than the bird’s meat. The yolk, for example, contains heart-protective proteins. What’s more, the quality of egg protein is considered the gold standard in terms of measuring the quality of all other protein sources.

That’s because egg protein is the most digestible and the most easily absorbed protein.

Beyond their complete, near-perfect-quality protein, eggs are also a brain food: good for your memory (which I certainly can use). The yolks are chock-full of choline, an important nutrient for recall. “Your body needs choline to make a brain chemical called acetylcholine, crucial for storing memories,” says Steven Zeisel, MD, director of the Nutrition Research Institute at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

Personally, I could eat eggs for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Strawberries Spring is also the beginning of berry season.

Strawberries are cancer- and heart-disease-fighting antioxidants; sweet, juicy and versatile little powerhouses, these first berries of spring! They are helpful for cancer prevention, heart protection

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and digestive health. In addition to high fiber, vitamin C and antioxidants, strawberries are known to increase the good kind of cholesterol (HDL), help maintain lower blood pressure, and protect against some cancers, according to WebMD. And did you know they are also good for your skin? They may not have the smoothest complexion themselves, but strawberries can help you maintain yours. Their antioxidants help repair skin damage caused by environmental factors like pollution and UV rays. Plus their vitamin C (less than a cup gets you your entire recommended daily allowance)—is the vitamin associated with fewer wrinkles and less dryness, according to research in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. Try them in a homemade facial, too. What?

Mash and apply the strawberries with their natural exfoliate for great results. Good for you inside or out!

Mango, Ginger & Strawberry Smoothie 1 cup chopped peeled mango 1 cup hulled strawberries 3/4 cup crushed ice 1/2 cup vanilla low-fat yogurt

1/4 cup cold water 2 teaspoons minced crystallized ginger 2 teaspoons honey ½ cup antioxidant-rich blueberries for memory too!

Blend and enjoy!

Asparagus These spears are one of the best veggie sources of folate, a B vitamin that could help keep you out of a slump. “Folate is important for the synthesis of the neurotransmitters dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine,” says David Mischoulon, MD, Harvard Medical School. All of these are crucial for mood.

A cup of cooked asparagus has two-thirds of the recommended daily allowance of folate for women. Add a cup of enriched pasta—which is fortified with folic acid, the synthetic form of folate—and you’ll have a feel-good meal indeed. I know I’m always happy eating Asparagus and the young tender Spring stalks almost make me giddy!

Let’s combine both forms of folate and be happy.

Add steamed or roasted asparagus to Giada’s ‘easy as it gets’ recipe.

“I made lemon spaghetti in an early season of ‘Everyday Italian,’ and to this day people still come up to me and say they love it. It’s very, very simple. Basically, you cook the pasta and mix together Parmesan cheese, olive oil, lemon juice and zest and pour it over the pasta.”

-Giada DeLaurentiis

Legumes

Womens Hospital in Pittsburgh. “Your body has to work to break down the bean to get through the fiber,” he explains, “so you’re actually expending energy to digest it.”

Even better, the protein in legumes activates an “I’m satisfied” message in the hunger center of your brain. Add them to salads and soups, make spreads for crackers or mix them with fresh herbs, citrus juice and zest and parmesan cheese to create a ‘bed’ for seared or grilled meat.

Baby Spinach These tasty leaves are a great source of iron (especially if you don’t eat meat), which is a key component in red blood cells that fuel our muscles with oxygen for energy.

Researchers in Sweden recently identified another way in which these greens might keep you charged: Compounds found in spinach actually increase the efficiency of the energy-producing factories inside our cells. That means eating a cup of cooked spinach a day may give you more lasting power at the gym. Throw some beans in your spinach salad!

Blueberries Eat them regularly and you may reap big brain and memory benefits. In a recent study, people with age-related memory decline who drank about two and a half cups of blueberry juice per day for 12 weeks (the equivalent of eating a cup of blueberries) made significant improvements on memory and learning tests compared with those who drank a placebo juice. Don’t forget to throw some in your Strawberry Smoothie!

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CD REVIEWS

By DANIEL G. MOIR editor@southernminnscene.com

S Imagine Dragons beat the sophomore curse

ophomore releases after successful debut albums are fascinating. Often, a band is not aware of what exactly made their debut connect so successfully with their newly formed audience.

So they either: a) try something completely experimental or b) copy the debut by essentially re-writing all their previous songs.

Personally, I find the follow-up album to be the most interesting one of a band’s career. After the success of “Hunting High & Low” and their single “Take On Me,” a-Ha took a chance and released the Eurosounding “Scoundrel Days.” While easily their best album, it was a HUGE bomb that no one in America remembers. Hootie & The Blowfish essentially copied their debut, and while containing an initially successful first single, it largely failed to maintain the longevity of “Cracked Rear View.” Radiohead ignored the success of “Pablo Honey” and with “The Bends” and “OK Computer,” abandoned commercial “single” success and built an entirely new audience leading to a long-term, and highly respected, career.

Following the double platinum “Night Visions,” Las Vegas’ Imagine Dragons manage to both maintain their “hit-making appeal” and expand their musical vision. This brave dichotomy is unusual these days and something to be celebrated. Imagine Dragons’ largely self-produced “Smoke + Mirrors” is both imaginative and engaging. The rare album that deepens on repeated visits.

Opener “Shots” grabs the ears

By SARAH OSTERBAUER editor@southernminnscene.com

S Doomtree calls on All Hands and deliver

ince their beginning, Doomtree has always run their business unconventionally.

What started out as a group of friends making music, trying to figure out how to break into the local scene, has culminated into an animal of local domination. Their followers are fiercely loyal; homegrown, as befitting the Doomtree grassroots philosophy. At the close of 2014, they set a new precedent for album promotion by tying the pending release of All Hands to the farewell tour of their 10th annual Blowout. Ten events, over an eight day period which included a special beer release from Surly and karaoke with Stef’s mom was nothing short of the Twin Cities longest and biggest hip hop party.

Named All Hands to represent “all hands on deck,” signaling that each member had an integral part in its making, this is definitely their most cohesive group effort to date.

Whereas the feel of their last album, No Kings, is very “I’ll do a verse, you do a verse,” it’s obvious that the creation of All Hands was much more organic. The production on this album is cleaner, multi-layered, and expands on their party anthem style. Interestingly enough, the bulk of the production credits go to Ce-

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instantly with an easy melody and almost insidiously pulls you in to an album that might not be so easy after all. The second track, “Gold” initially caused some real concerns about the album. The Dragons appear to fall into the typical “this isn’t what I thought success was about” trap, matching a repetitive melody with the musing “first comes the blessing of all that you’ve dreamed, but then comes the curses of diamonds and kings.”

The title track initially asks similar questions, but suddenly jars the ears with far more interesting, and unexpected, musical textures. Imagine Dragons begins to show that, while they are more than capable of writing catchy songs, they are also going to challenge their audience with bold new ideas and mature soundscapes.

Lead-off single “I Bet My Life” is just a flat-out great Pop song. While vaguely reminiscent of “It’s Time” from their debut, Imagine Dragons deliver a fist pumping anthem that should generate significant radio play in the summer months to come.

“It All Comes Back To You” is gorgeous, opening with a U2’s “The Edge-like” riff that morphs into the guitar sound of The Cure’s “Pictures Of You.” The song highlights how they have managed to expand the incorporation of synthesizers into their sound. While tracks like “Friction” and “Dream” veer at times into EDM territory, “Trouble” uses electronics to bring a new “folk-raver” sound to their artistic palette. It is almost like “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” brought into the 21st Century. Disappointingly, despite their heavy appearance, no credits are

cil Otter this round, which explains why his voice appears less often.

They start out guns blazing, with the dark pulsing bass of “Final Boss”. The chant-inviting hook sings “Get up like I never f------ got up before and I get it like I never f-----got it before” letting us know, that even though Doomtree may seem like they’re on top of the world and have it all figured out, they’re very much still grinding like they were 10 years ago. The bulk of the album shares this theme of always working, always trying to get on top of the next thing, doing it their way and not following anyone’s rules.

The album, though full of their usual bangers, does have a couple game changers. “Heavy Rescue” is built on a sunny indie electro-pop melody, layered with ethereal vocals

by Dessa, while Cecil Otter delivers a kind of pep talk. The line “that ceramic sunset’s for you” repeats over and over as to remind them that after every obstacle is conquered, and the light at the end of the tunnel is in fact, for them.

My favorite track, no contest, is “Off In The Deep”. Produced by Paper Tiger it has a 90’s R&B chord progression running along the bottom with a drum and bass beat on top. With a minute to go in the song Dessa comes in with a calming hypnotic vocal. I have no idea what she’s saying or if it’s even words but

given for synthesizers on the album.

To my ears, “Summer” is the real jaw dropper. It opens with a circular guitar riff in 6/4 time under a ghostly melody played on what sounds like a Theremin. Lead singer Dan Reynolds delivers the reflective lyrics with the rhythmic approach of Rap, but with solid melody. Both odd and catchy, the song demonstrates the band’s willingness to try something new, with playing that is both precise and confident.

By album closer “The Fall,” you realize that Imagine Dragons have returned to answer many of the questions raised by “Gold.” “I’m ready for the fall. I’m ready for everything that I believed in to drift away. Ready for the leaves, ready for the colors to burn to gold and crumble away.” They are ready to risk success rather than play it safe.

Sure, there are “singles” on this album, but their placement and sound are deliberate, purposeful and within context of a larger artistic statement.

If this is what Imagine Dragons can imagine now, I am looking forward to what they will dream up next.

“Smoke + Mirrors” is also available at Target in a Deluxe Version that adds four songs to the album.

These tracks, especially “Thief” all enhance a bold collection and are recommended.

Bottom Line: With their new album, Imagine Dragons prove there are no “Smoke + Mirrors” about them. They are the real deal.

Album Grade: B+ Daniel G. Moir has forgotten more about music than all the rest of us know combined. Reach him at editor@southernminnscene.com

it’s feels cool and comforting.

Another reviewer called All Hands schizophrenic and it’s easy to see why someone would say that. It is lyric heavy, with each member’s style being woven together like unique pieces of fabric on a quilt.

P.O.S’s delivery is smooth and buttery, Dessa’s cuts like a razor, Sims is staccato and hard hitting while Mike’s comes out at machine gun speeds, yet somehow they all go together. It’s clear that this is a group who has worked alongside one another for years because a lot of the lyrics feel like inside jokes and stories. It could easily be written off as jibberish but what it really is, and why they get so much local love (and not just because they shoutout MN all over it) is because Doomtree is as much ours, as it is theirs. Their inside jokes and secrets become ours too. When you’re a member of the Doomtree nation, you’re a part of something special. Part of the enjoyment of listening to the album is the feeling that you’re in the club. You’re a part of something bigger than just some rappers and producers making music. It’s a community of Minnesota hip-hop lovers experiencing and loving it as one.

Sarah Osterbauer is a frequent contributor to Southern Minn Scene. She’s a music critic and loves to meet the people who make the city’s heart beat (and sometimes break). Follow her on twitter @SarahOwrites.

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CD REVIEWS

By D.L. ANDERSON editor@southernminnscene.com

S Father John Misty brings us the greatest boring album of the year

omewhere around four minutes into the song “Nothing Good Ever Happens at the Goddamn Thirsty Crow” on the album I Love You, Honeybear

by Father John Misty, a fuzzy guitar appears that threatens to make something interesting happen.

There’s no time for that, however, because the song has soon ended.

The very next song, “Strange Encounter,” ends with another, similar fuzzy guitar sound, making yet another threat to elevate a formulaic folk-pop song into the territory of genuine interest, but that, too, is extinguished before it can fully assert itself. There is a pattern here -- one of affectations, discombobulations and mismatched attributes. Misty gives lush arrangements to dull songs, bland, expressionless vocals to thoughtful lyrics, utters profanities with no detectable emotion, and bequeaths his songs with titles intended for much more dynamic material. There is interesting instrumentation, but the players are tasked with parts that would

be comfortably executed by any competent amateur. I Love You, Honeybear is an album that continually suggests that it is about to be interesting, novel and potentially morish without ever achieving any of those things.

Throughout most of the album, I am continually put off by awkward versification, feeling as though lyrics are being hamfistedly shoehorned into rambling, forgettable melodies, falling with awkwardly accented syllables and not only failing to compliment the songs on which they appear, but actually fighting with them at times. Take “Chateau Lobby #4 (In C for Two Virgins),” for example. Musically, it sounds like a second-rate John Denver’s contribution to the soundtrack for a late 70’s mid-life crisis comedy, but the lyrics have Misty lifting up her “wedding dress someone was probably murdered in” to fuck her in the kitchen. The same song, in the line after the murder dress, features the word “bourgeoisie,” clunky in any song, and predictably flopping like a desperate fish here, delivered with the same carefully deliberated dry toast delivery that is featured

throughout. He hits the notes that he wrote for his own limited range, but can you have a perfect slice of dry toast?

Reviews for this record have been stellar, so maybe it just isn’t my thing. On the other hand, time and again I could identify small changes that would have greatly enhanced my enjoyment. A different vocalist throughout, for one thing. Less reverb here, fewer instruments there.

A direct modulation in “Holy Shit” literally made me LOL. (Speaking of which: if you’re going to name a song “Holy Shit,” why make it sound like something people ignore in a coffee shop...and then give it lyrics that would prevent most coffee shops from playing it? And why make it a sing-along with no one singing along? I suppose I should be grateful it doesn’t have a laugh track, like “Bored in the USA” does.)

You’re “Bored in the USA,” Misty?

Me too, padre. And this one’s on you.

D.L. Anderson is an amateur musical genius and always has a sharp, well reasoned opinion on music. He can be reached at editor@southernminnscene.com

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KEVIN KREIN THE BEARDED LIFE

Kevin Krein Kevin Krein is many things: a lover of animals, a hater of people. He’s also a “humorist” and an “award nominated blogger.” Sometimes he sells books to people. Sometimes he writes for the Northfield News.

He also has a gigantic beard.

Follow his pro-animal, antiperson tweets: @KevEFly.

R

ecently, I was at the local pet food outlet, procuring the weekly bale of hay for my rabbits, and on the way out, a crudely handwritten flier on the bulletin board by the door caught my eye.

Somebody was trying to give away their dog. The dog was free.

Free to a “good home.”

The reason, as illustrated in the hand-written description of the dog, was that this person was moving, and they couldn’t take the dog with them. Next to that statement, this person had drawn a frowny face.

After walking back out to my car, and plopping the hay on the backseat, I took a moment before starting the engine and driving away. And in that moment, I felt a lot of things. You could say, if you use a modern vernacular, that I was “feeling all of the feels.” One of those feelings was disappointment in that person—a stranger, really— someone I will never (hopefully)

(i.e. MOST PEOPLE) would have a fit, and this person—this giver away of free babies—would more than likely be hunted down and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, or just clubbed to death by a gang of concerned and outraged parents.

But a dog? No. Those are okay to just give away to “a good home.”

Why is this acceptable?

See, the thing is, it isn’t. It’s not acceptable to me at all.

But that’s just me. And in starting to write this month’s “Bearded Life” column, I found that by somewhat unconsciously choosing the subject of “animal rights,” there was almost no way to tackle the subject without getting on a soapbox and coming off as preachy and/or an asshole.

So I’ll just say this—overall, I like animals more than I like people.

If you have a companion animal, and you invite me into your home for dinner, or other forms of socializing, chances

> s l a

m i n A

have to meet. I was disappointed that they were such a low life piece of shit, and that they were doing this to a dog they had been, for some sizable amount of time, responsible for.

I also felt sad for that dog, because they had done absolutely nothing wrong, deserved WAY better than what they had received, and were now at a high risk of being handed of to a “good home” with someone they didn’t know.

The real question I have—and it’s often the question that I come back to in a number of situations involving the rights of companion animals—is this: why is this acceptable?

Imagine seeing a crudely handwritten flier at a Gymboree, or Babies R Us, that advertised a free toddler to a “good home.” Imagine reading the line “I’m moving and can’t take the baby with me (frowny face.)”

People who are advocates for babies

are, I will find your dog, or your cat, to be more interesting than you. It’s no offense to you; you are nice enough (probably.) And I mean, you did invite me into your home, and I did accept that invitation. But still. Your dog seems pretty great. And much to your dog’s chagrin, I will follow it around, try to get it to stay still, try to take photos, and then I will put them on Facebook.

Did you know that on Facebook, there are people who have created pages for their companion animals?

You find these pages innocently enough. It starts with “liking” the page for Lil’ Bub, an adorable cat from Indiana who happens to be an Internet sensation. Then you find the page for Ray Charles The Golden Retriever—an aptly named blind dog who lives in Massachusetts. His people post updates as if Ray Charles himself is writing them. At first, you

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may find it a tad cloying. But then you get used to it. You begin to find it endearing. You work some of the phrasing into your own lexicon.

Then you find more and more pages created by people, for their companion animals. You notice you become unreasonably distraught if one of those Facebook famous companion animals suddenly passes away.

You find pages for groups that train service dogs and therapy dogs—like Pawsitive Perspectives Assistance Dogs, or the aptly named Dog Bless You. You “like” pages for rescue and welfare organizations that are in other states.

Eventually, your Facebook feed becomes nothing but updates about and photos of animals. And if you are like me, perhaps this was partially

that Facebook is supposed to be about keeping abreast of what your (human) friends are doing.

What does this tactic say about me, though, as a person? Does it make me some kind of curmudgeon?

Sure. And am I aware that there are two sides to this coin? Yes—for every person I’ve “unfollowed” because I don’t want to look at their dumb baby anymore, I’m sure there’s a person who has done the same to me because they, for some reason, don’t want to see photos of my rabbits—however hard that is for me to believe. People are horrible though, so it’s certainly happened.

The original point to all this was to try to convey that

e l p o e P

intentional.

Because after a certain point, you grow weary of what all your Face friends have to offer—their baby isn’t really as cute as they think it is. In fact, it’s kind of ugly, and you’re tired of seeing a new photo of it every month with what month old it is pasted onto a onesie; or your friends have taste in music you deem questionable at best, and eventually seeing another YouTube link shared for a song you can’t stand just drives you over the edge; or your friends from high school have grown up to be ultra conservative and they share their conservative, borderline offensive viewpoints on ‘merica a little too often for comfort.

The name for the function continues to change in the everevolving Facebook landscape, but right now, it’s called “Unfollow.”

And it’s a gawdsend. The more people you remove from your feed, the more pictures of animals you see. And eventually, you forget

animals have feelings too, and that we should respect and appreciate those feelings. And I won’t even try to get into the question of why society loves dogs, eats pigs, and wears cows—because I’d just be getting too preachy, I’m running out of space for this month, and there’s a book with that very title that would cover those topics in ways I cannot.

But what I’m saying I guess is that the next time you see a squirrel frolic across the street, slow down for that squirrel and think about its feelings.

And for the dog that was advertised as “free to a good home,” we should all think about that dog’s feelings, because it certainly has them.

Because despite the fact that animals are, overall, better than people, we are similar.

Because that dog, like me, like all of us, probably feels all of the feels too.

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Alison Scott with Special Guest The Jason Paulson Band March 28, 7:30pm $17 Members // $22 Non-Members // $10 Students Part of the 2015 KGP Companies Music Season Singer/songwriter Alison Scott is the strongest new voice to come out of Minneapolis in many years and her soulful, organic sound has quietly built a very large and loyal following. While staying indier than indie and completely ignoring the hipster rulebook, through word of mouth with very little radio or media hype, Alison Scott is making the kind of soul music that music fans love. True music lovers have always responded to an amazing voice singing great songs, and they always will - from Aretha to Adele, this is timeless music that transcends style and fashion, something for the silent majority of listeners who aren’t interested in fluffy pop or the trendy flavor of the month. Performing with platinum and Grammy-winning guitarist/producer Kevin Bowe, drummer Peter Anderson and bassist Steve Price, Alison has been selling out venues across the Midwest.

Gallery Exhibitions Runs April 7-May 5 Free to the Public Part of the 2015 KDHL/Power 96 Gallery Season Gallery Sponsored by The Crafty Maven Opening, Artist Reception, and Award Ceremony: April 10, 5-7pm Carlander Family Gallery and Lois Vranesh Boardroom Gallery: Paradise, A Great Place to Hang Your HAT: A Juried Hat-Themed Exhibition

In Capable Hands April 24, 7pm $12 Members // $15 Non-Members // $8 Students Part of the 2015 Crossroads Family Season Flying pizzas, juggled canned meat, pink flamingos, vanishing bananas, impaled potatoes, and music played by pounding their heads In Capable Hands is an innovative comedy juggling team and are seasoned pros with their own brand of fresh, distinctive humor. Trained by Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus, In Capable Hands is a husband and wife comedy duo with eye-catching skills and off-center comic flair, are favorites wherever they perform.

Comedian C. Willi Myles April 25, 7:30pm $17 Members // $22 Non-Members Sponsor: State Farm Insurance, Tony Langerud Agency C. Willi Myles returns home to the Paradise for his Line in the Sand Comedy Tour. As always Willi’s extremely funny non-offensive stories and jokes and gives a unique spin to life’s everyday challenges as he applys humor to them.

Referred to as “America’s Everyday Comedian,” Willi is truly comedy at its best.

Sixth Annual Big Hats and Big Hearts Annual Auction for the Arts and Kentucky Derby Party May 2, 4-7pm $17 Members // $22 Non-Members The Not-To-Be-Missed-Event of the spring. Join us for an afternoon of food, fashion, friends and fun and help rise the ever needed funding for future arts and education programming at Paradise Center. Take part in silent and live auctions and watch the greatest two minutes in sports.

Enjoy all the festivities of the Kentucky Derby right here in Paradise.

Love, Loss, and What I Wore April 10, 11, 16-18, 7:30pm April 12, 2pm $15 Adults // $10 Children 12 & Under Presented by The Merlin Players

Gallery Exhibitions

Written by Nora Ephron and Delia Ephron Based on the book by Ilene Beckerman Directed by Julianna Skluzacek

Runs May 5-June 23 Free to the Public Part of the 2015 KDHL/Power 96 Gallery Season Gallery

Find more information online at:

ParadiseCenterForTheArts.org

Opening and Artist Reception: May 8, 5-7pm Carlander Family Gallery: Lois Vranesh Boardroom Gallery:

Melting Point Karen Peters & Justin Peters Daniel Ruf

These activities are made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a Minnesota State Arts Board Operating Support grant, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.

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