I want to live: sanctuary for the suididal

I WANT TO LIVE SANCTUARY FOR THE SUICIDAL

AR30022 Design Studio 4.2 Zhengxin Fang 10175 Tutor: Julia Kashdan-Brown

“We want people to live because they want to live, not because we want them to.�

CONTENTS

Chapter 01 - NARRATIVE

01

Chapter 02 - BRIEF

05

Chapter 03 - SITE

13

Chapter 04 - DESIGN STRATEGY

19

Chapter 05 - PROPOSAL

21

Chapter 06 - STRUCTURE AND TECTONICS

59

Chapter 07 - ENVIRONMENTAL STRATEGY

73

Chapter 08 - REGULATORY COMPLIANCE

84

Chapter 09 - DESIGN PROCESS

90

Chapter 10 - THIS IS NOT THE END

98

Chapter 01-Narrative

Elephant in the room

1

Lighthouse in darkness

2

Architecture as therapy

3

A manifesto

4

Insula series by Daniel Regan. Daniel uses photographs to express his emotional difficulties.

ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM Suicide as social taboo

Suicide has been one of the most significant causes of death in the UK, with around 6000 people taking their own lives every year. Every 4 minutes, there is a suicide attempt; every 90 minutes, there is a successful one.

The suicide rate in Bristol is 28% higher than the national average. In Bristol University especially, 11 people took their lives in 18 months.

Suicide and suicide attempts have lasting effects on individuals, their friends and families,

and the communities. However, despite those striking facts and figures, suicide remains a taboo subject for the society: many people avoid discussing it, and misunderstand this as being “dramatic”, “attention-seeking”, “selfish”...

Suicidal individuals do not always show visible signs of their struggle. Many people feel ashamed of having these thoughts; thus try to pretend everything is fine. These

individuals are generally concerned about asking for help, because they do not think they deserve any.

The stigma around mental health has made it even harder for people to get through it when they are in crisis.

1

"Jumped.

Then I changed my mind."

-Anonymous, six word stories.

LIGHTHOUSE IN DARKNESS The need for a sanctuary

Not all of the suicidal individuals are 100% certain about their choice.

In fact, most of them are not. They do not want to die; they just do not know how to

continue living. Their emotional pain can be so severe that death seems to be the only option to get them released.

“…it sounds so illogical when you think about it in a different perspective or a different day. But, at the time, you’re completely consumed by feeling utterly, utterly hopeless…you can literally be on the floor, and you don’t know how to pick yourself up.”

It is important to bear in mind that suicidal feelings are not permanently there: usually, this unbearable desperation will eventually pass. Many suicide survivors, while looking

back at the dark period of their lives, are fortunate that they did not take the final step.

It is, therefore, crucial for people to get sufficient support while they are in a crisis, to know that they are not on their own, that there is somewhere they can go to: there is a lighthouse in the darkness.

My main aspiration is to provide a sanctuary, a sanctuary that shelters people’s emotions,

allows them to temporarily escape from the unbearable pain, and helps them to come back and face it with stronger mindsets.

“...there is a difference between having suicidal thoughts and the secondary stage of making a plan to kill yourself. We need to create safe and supportive spaces for people to talk about suicidal thoughts before they turn into action.”

2

Therme Vals, therapeutic atmosphere created by manipulating sensory stimulations.

ARCHITECTURE AS THERAPY The mood-altering potential

There is no denying that, beyond its tangible form and its primary function of inhabiting, architecture has the potential to evoke cognitive and intangible experiences.

“Architecture convey, or give rise to, certain states of mind with[…] systems of signs and symbols[…]consisting of conscious and unconscious meanings, mental images, feelings, associations, flashbacks, sensory images, and psychological tensions.”

By manipulating the space with appropriate stimuli, architecture can promote engagement with the inhabitants’ senses and movements, which might affect the

inhabitant’s feeling, behaviour and emotional wellbeing. The healing quality is especially important, while inhabitants are suffering from an emotional crisis.

With this mood-altering potential, architecture is capable of not only accommodating those therapeutic functions but also being therapeutic itself.

3

A corner in Maytree, by Daniel Regan

A MANIFESTO

• To offer supplement to the insufficient mental health services currently being provided.

• Reject the idea of suicide and mental health being taboo subjects, offer individuals with support when they are in despair, allow them to escape the pain and help them reconnect to the community. This is crucial as it can be a turning point in their lives.

• To fully explore the healing quality of architecture and its potential to affect emotions; value inhabitants’ experience, rather than focus only on the functional aspect.

• Reject the clinical environment, instead, create a home-like, tranquil, and therapeutic atmosphere.

• To promote engagement with the community, raise awareness of mental health and eliminate the stigma and discrimination.

4

Chapter 02-Brief

Approach

5

Maytree

7

Clients and founding

8

Prototype analysis

9

Programme & accommodation

11

APPROACH Contridiction and co-existance | Escape and reconnect

Contridiction

Co-existance

Contradiction appears in two aspects: both in the minds of suicidal individuals and in the way they are interpreted by the society.

While in a suicidal crisis, many individuals keep alternating between the state of “leave me alone” and “I am so lonely”, the desire of personal space and a sense of

community exist at the same time, and should both be respected. This requires the space and programmes to have various scales and levels of intimacy: private bedrooms,

contemplation spaces, small-scale therapies, group therapies, and communal

gatherings. The scheme is then sub-divided into a few volumes, rather than having a whole building block.

The society has a stereotype of “us and them” while interpreting suicidal individuals and

mental health issues, and my approach is to eliminate this in my design. The design is

not to provide therapeutic environment for only a group of “special people”, because a vulnerable moment can happen to everyone. Thus, the intension is not to separate,

or isolate, a group of people from the community, but rather, to create a therapeutic environment that benefits more, and provide opportunities for communal engagement.

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ESCAPE

from the unbearable pain

A moment of one’s own

Contemplation and reflection

Befriending with volunteers

Group creative therapy

Nature and relief

Communal gathering

RECONNECT to the community and the nature

6

MAYTREE Sanctuary for the suicidals

A room in Maytree, by Daniel Regan

Maytree is a charitable organization located in London, known as a sanctuary for

people feeling suicidal. Maytree provides the guests with a secure place to rest, reflect and talk, offering them with a free one-off stay for up to 5 days. During their stay guests can speak openly to volunteers and peers about anything and everything, or nothing;

talks take forms of both formal conversations and casual chats. There is no judgement, and the environment is non-clinical and home-like.

Mental health supports often fall on two extremes: there is either telephone helpline offering remote support, or hospitalisation. Maytree offers community support which bridges the gap.

To many guests, visiting Maytree has been a turning point of their lives. Not all of the volunteers are trained professionals, many of them are suicide survivors themselves.

Since founded in 2002, Maytree has prevented more than 1000 suicides.

“Hopefully, when we next speak there’ll be a Maytree in every city.”

7

CLIENTS AND FUNDING

Maytree: Currently there is only one Maytree house in London.

I propose the project base on the assumption that Maytree is to open a new house in Bristol.

Free space project: The charity is directed by artist Daniel Regan,

who is a suicide survivor and also a volunteer at Maytree. The charity supports art and community initiatives, provides patients with various activities such as art therapy, wellbeing gardens, and

dance therapy. It also holds exhibitions and peer groups, calls for community collaboration and raises awareness of mental

health. The charity is currently London-based, I propose with the assumption that it will have another branch in Bristol.

JustGiving: As Maytree is based on donation and fundraising, it teams up with JustGiving to raise founding via sponsored events and activities. I propose my project to incorporate engagement with the community, such as gallery, café, and public events; money will be raised via JustGiving and benefit Maytree.

Bristol city council: With awareness of current dissatisfactions

such as high suicidal rates, Bristol city council is running a 10-

year programme called ‘Thrive Bristol’, aiming to improve

the population’s mental health and wellbeing. It also tackles stigma and discrimination. Bristol city council will fund the

initial construction of the building, and will support the charities running expressive therapies and holding community events.

Arts Council England: Arts Council England champions, develops

and invests in artistic and cultural experiences to enrich people’s lives. It will support running the gallery and expressive therapies.

8

PROTOTYPE ANALYSIS Process | Spatial programms

It is worth analysing the prototype: Maytree respite centre.

Maytree is located in a 3-storey terrace house. The building is not specifically designed for it, so there are no floorplans. Spatial programmes are deduced from relevant documentaries and by talking to the staff there. Areas are estimated.

I have analysed the process of how Maytree works, hence spaces encountered during the process. There are some watchpoints due to the building’s sensitive functions.

Residential Four guest bedrooms, each with an en-suite.

Doors cannot be locked. Each room has an alarm connected to the staff room, in case of emotional crisis occur, especially at night. Important to have good acoustic insulation

Communal Kitchen/ dining/ living room. Communal space fosters guests’ engagement and connection with volunteers and other guests. The challenge is to balance levels of intimacy and privacy.

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Therapy Two befriending rooms, the volunteer says they would like more. Would also be good to have some de-escalation space after intensive therapy sessions. Neutral colours and natural materials are preferred.

Garden Essential to promote both self-reflection and communal integration. Nature has an amazing power of healing emotions, many guests mention the therapeutic garden as their favourite place.

Step 01-Contact Organisation/self-referral are both accepted.

Office

Step 02-Assess Conversations between staff and potential guest to

discuss if staying in Maytree would be helpful. Via

Record storage Assessment room

phone calls or face to face.

Step 03-Be the guest Guest arrives and settles in. Maximum 4 guests at

Bedrooms

one time.

Bathroom/ laundry

Daily routine: No structured timetable, guests can

Living/ activity room

relax and engage with volunteers and other guests; engagement can take place anywhere. Privacy and personal space are also valued.

Befriending: One-to-one conversation between

guest and volunteers, where guests can explore their thoughts and feelings. One guest will form

several befriending relationships with different

Kitchen/ dining room Communal garden Private room/ self reflection Therapy/ befriending room Urge room De-escalstion room

volunteers.

Volunteers: staff on duty 24/7, volunteers work

on 3-hour shifts, normally 3 volunteers and 1

Staff room Sleeping space for on-duty staff

coordinator per shift.

Step 04-Farewell Guest will receive supportive letters from the volunteers, validate their struggles and honour

their achievements. For many guests, the stay is a turning point of their lives.

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PROGRAMME & ACCOMMODATION With design considerations

Respite center

Maytree, emotional support while in despiration User Maytree guests – Individuals in suicidal crisis, one-off residential support.

Time Open 24 hours everyday Each guest spends 5 days 4 nights Access Controlled – Guest only, assessed via phone calls prior to staying.

Garden and pavilions emotional shelter User Maytree guests and volunteers – Where befriending takes place, having deep conversations about suicidal crisis People with poor emotional states – Everyone

can feel vulnerable and will need a moment on their own at some point Time Open all the time

Community center

Group therapy and community engagement User Maytree guests – Supplement/ alternative choice to befriending, non-residential support People with poor emotional states –

Group creative therapy for mental wellbeing General community – Relax and integrate Time Open 10 hours everyday Access Scheduled/controlled– Group creative therapy and workshops, appointment only Drop-in/open–Exhibition/contemplation/ cafe/ communal gathering

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Access Threshold - There is no physical gate that controls who enters the internal garden and the pavilions, since the vulnerable moment can happen to everyone. but the space creates a threshold which narrows down who enters.

Respite center

Guest bedroom with en suite*8 Kitchen/dining room Living/activity room Befriending room Quiet reflection space

Communal

Staff

On-duty staff room Staff bedroom Laundry General Storage for guest

- At least 1 accessible.

- Alarms connected to on-duty staff.

- Various level of intimacy.

- Visual linkage to nature.

- High sensory stimulation.

- Ensure access of natural light.

- Privacy but eliminate isolation.

- Ensure guest safety.

- For staff handover at shift and rest.

- 6-8 staff per shift.

Charity coordinator office Charity volunteer office Therapist office Meeting room All-staff common room Record storage General storage for staff

- Charity staff handover and discuss treatment with therapists.

- Staff training and meeting.

- Controlled access: staff only.

Reception Therapy waiting area Communal gathering space CafĂŠ/ bar Gallery

- Informal environment.

-Promote therapy participants to engage with community, but allow privacy and personal space.

- Gallery exhibition raise awareness of mental health.

CafĂŠ/ bar BoH

Art therapy

Preparation room/material storage Art therapy workshop (group) Art therapy workshop (individual) Post-session de-escalation space

- North-lit studios, maximise natural light, reduce artificial lighting.

-Group therapy is more informal and relaxing, individual sessions can be emotionally intensive.

Movement therapy

Storage

Changing room/transition zone Equipment storage Movement therapy studio Post-session rest

-Physical and emotional transitions.

Contemplation/ therapy spaces

- Various scale and characteristics, provoke sensory interaction.

- Crucial in creating a therapeutic atmosphere.

- Can be sub-divided, have different features and level of privacy.

Landscape/gardens Overall circulation

Plant and service room

- Promote physical interaction with architecture.

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Chapter 03-Site

Marlborough Hill car park

13

Context

15

Analysis

17

Site Marlborough Street bus station University of Bristol Bristol Temple Meads station Mental healthcare Location plan 1:10000

MARLBOROUGH HILL CAR PARK Location | Character | Constrains and opportunities

Car park in the summer (source: google map)

The project aims to provide emotional shelter for those in desperation as well as promote community interaction, therefore Marlborough hill car park is an ideal site.

Halfway up the hillside, the car park looks far into the city centre. The site contains both the city and the nature: it is located within the urban context but also semi-bounded

by trees, thus has the potential to engage with the community while retaining a sense of protection and privacy.

The site is near to Marlborough Street bus station, so it can be easily reached by people who need the sanctuary. The car park is close to Bristol University, university accommodation, and a few hospitals; therefore, can benefit both university students and the local population.

Marlborough hill is steeply slopped. The site, although flatter than the roads, still has a height difference of 2m from one side to another. The existing trees are both constrains and opportunities, they bring a unique atmosphere to the site that distinguishes it from

the surroundings. Although the trees can be taken down, one of my most important design decisions is to keep them, as we will see later.

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1

2

na ti tI ar He ol

Br ist Infi ol R rm oy ar al y

Br ist

5

tu te

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Un iv e r Br sity ist H ol os NH pit S als

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Pedestrian access Vehicle access Existing trees around site Context plan 1:2500

CONTEXT Approach | Trees | Views

1. Approach view from northeast

4. Northeast, looks far into city centre

2. Approach view from southeast

3. Approach view from southwest

5. Southwest, journey in the woods

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ANALYSIS Existing conditions

17

Impression: trees and shelter

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Chapter 04- Design Strategy

DESIGN STRATEGY Interaction with nature | Spatial and spiritual journey

One of the most important design decisions is to keep all the existing trees on site.

Trees are symbols of life and hope, they also bring

a sense of natural protection. The green line of

landscape is therefore preserved, continuing with trees at south west.

The site is also bounded by existing walls to the north. Trees form the first layer of protection, creating an urban sanctuary. The site feels introverted.

Two main building blocks: respite centre and community centre, form the second layer of

protection. The forms are regular and solid, which feels dense and secure. The two facades respond to urban context.

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Finally, being sheltered and protected by the two layers, are the scattered pavilions and a landscaped garden. This is the soft and dynamic

core. By scattering them in nature, the pavilions have a more intimate relationship with the landscape and the trees.

Wayfinding: Building volumes are connected by a main path and a few “nodes�, similar to the trunk and branches of a tree.

Going from the trunk to a branch feels almost like a spatial ritual while entering a therapy pavilion.

Building volumes are at different heights as

the site slopes up. At the highest point there is a chapel pavilion: The spatial journey is also a spiritual journey.

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Chapter 05-Proposal

EMOTIONAL SHELTER private conversation/ talk therapy/ contemplation/ a moment of your own

Pavilion/ Non-religious Chapel

Pavilion/ Therapy

Pavilion/ Therapy

Pavilion / Therapy/ temporary gallery

RESPITE CENTRE

COMMUNITY CENTRE

Maytree’s guest bedrooms, living/dining rooms,

cafe, gallery, group creative therapy,

befriending with volunteers and other guests

communal gathering

APPROACH Urban sanctuary

The building is revealed behind the trees… a sense of protection.

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SOUTHEAST ELEVATION 1:250

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SITE PLAN 1:500

Existing ever-green trees

Canopy at main entrance Proposed ever-green tree Hardwood paving at main entrance Ornamental Grass Water feature Grass Existing deciduous trees Scattered bench Timber-paved path Ornamental Grass and shurbs Ornamental Grass and flower

Existing wall on site

0 2 4 6 8 10

20m

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NORTHEAST ELEVATION 1:250

Here we can see the main entrance.

I will talk through the journey in such an order: start with the

respite centre, then the therapy pavilions and the chapel, and

eventually the community centre. This is a journey from escape to reconnect, begins with “hesitation”, and pauses at “relief”.

“Relief” is not the end. Normally, things do not just get better straight away. But at least, it provides a positive sign.

0 1

2 3 4 5

10m

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ENTRANCE THRESHOLD Hesitation | Calmness | Multi-sensory

Many people arrive at the worst state of their mind‌ but by arriving here, it is already a big step forward.

A tree greets us, behind which a journey is revealed: a journey to hope.

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GROUND FLOOR PLAN 1:250

1. lobby

2. semi-private conversation 3. staff/ volunteer turn-over 4. director’s office

5. staff’s storage room

6. reading/ relaxing area

7. living/ main activity room 8. guest’s storage room 9. laundry

10. kitchen/ dining space

11. dry landscape garden

12. befriending room/ group reflection 13. befriending room 14. storage

15. plant room 16. cafe

17. cafe bar 18. gallery

19. kitchen

20. kitchen storage

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21. plant room 22. storage

0 1

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2 3 4 5

10m

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13 13

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Arriving at Maytree: circulation and views. The first thing people see when they enter is a framed view of

existing trees and shrubs. The space is sub-divided into various scales. To the right, there is a little corner for volunteers to welcome new guests and have a little chat; to the left, a reading/bar area with views into the garden. The living room is revealed as guest goes forward, then a communal kitchen/ dining space.

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COMMUNAL KITCHEN A social hub for the guests

In Maytree, the kitchen plays an important role as a social hub.

Guests sit down, have a cup of tea, and that’s how a conversation begins… sometimes casual talks, sometimes deeper stuff.

Evening sun shines on the table, the garden is added with a shade of gold…

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SECTION AA 1:150

The respite centre has a linear form,

with a progressive spatial sequence

as the site slopes up: from living/ activity room to indoor befriending rooms, where volunteers and guests

talk about their suicidal thoughts.

The level goes up as it transits from

“communal”

to

“sensitive”.

Guest bedrooms are upstairs.

A dry landscape garden is carved from

the building volume. This is a buffer zone between the communal space and the befriending rooms, and also a corner for Maytree guests only. It

provides the guests with a little corner that has a different atmosphere.

A lightwell brings more light into

the zen garden. Guests can have a peek into the dry landscape from the corridor upstairs.

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1

2

3

4

5

10m

DRY GARDEN Buffer zone | Corner

After having a meal in the dining room, some guests meet in the dry garden and continue their conversation. Maybe some meditation afterwards?

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FIRST FLOOR PLAN 1:250

1. sitting corner

2. record storage

3. office/ sleeping area for staff on duty 4. bedroom for staff on duty 5. accessible bedroom

6. guest bedrooms with en-suite 7. window seats

8. small activity/ relaxing corner

9. communal gathering/ waiting area for group therapy 10. transition corridor

11. main changing room

12. female changing room

13. dance movement therapy studio

0 1

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2 3 4 5

10m

8 7

12 13

10 11

9

7 2

6

5

3

4

1

The corridor

Tectonic diagram

The end corner

Standard bedroom plan 1:100

The circulation space is more like a street rather than just a corridor,

Standard bedroom has en-suite bathroom and walk-in closet.

encounter voids looking down, window seats, gathering spaces…

Sunlight helps to improve mental health. Bedroom faces

so that it does not feel institutional. Along the “street”, guests will with diffused rooflights and views into the garden. In order to

eliminate the “dead end”, a small activity space is placed at the end, looking far into the woods at southeast.

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Frosted glass for bathroom windows to ensure privacy.

southeast. Each bedroom has a popped-out window seat

extended towards the trees, for a more intimate interaction with nature. Timber-lining is integrated with interior furniture.

GUEST BEDROOM A moment of your own

“I should say: the house shelters day-dreaming, the house protects the dreamer, the house allows one to dream in peace.” ― Gaston Bachelard, The Poetics of Space

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SECTION BB 1:150

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10m

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THERAPY PAVILION A place of refuge | Interactions with nature

A place to cry, meditate, talk openly about the suicidal thoughts‌or just watch how light shines through a window.

Timber and cork give nice textures to touch and add to an earthy feeling.

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The pavilions are slightly different from one another, in terms of form, path, views, sensory engagements‌ which brings various spatial experiences to the visitors. The sketch takes two of them as an example.

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The chapel pavilion: circulation and encountered views. Partition walls further divide the space, promote visitors to walk and turn, which helps with their transition of emotions.

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THERAPY PAVILION/ CHAPEL Keep your head up

Each pavilion has a rooftop opening that captures the sky and celebrates the nature and light.

Keep your head up and embrace the hope embodied in the trees.

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SECOND FLOOR PLAN 1:250

1. communal gathering/ waiting area for group therapy 2. group art therapy studio

3. individual art therapy studio

4. meeting room/ group activity room 5. staff common room 6. director’s office 7. office

8. storage

9. green roof

0 1

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2 3 4 5

10m

3 2

1

6

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4

5

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SECTION CC 1:150

Here we are looking at community centre: the gallery, the cafĂŠ, and the waiting areas for group therapy.

The spaces are linked with double/ triple

heights,

allowing

visual

connection. The slopping site results in a level change on ground floor.

People enter from the cafĂŠ, go up half

a level to the gallery, then through a door to the garden.

0

1

2

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10m

The level change gives an opportunity to play with height and scale along the spatial journey.

From the main entrance to the garden: this is a journey of escape. Visitors enter a double-height space. To the

left, large glazing frames a view of the garden. Visitors then go up the steps and get to a triple-height gallery, which becomes one storey again as they eixt to the garden: dark, then bright. This contrast brings a stronger impression when the landscape gets revealed.

The route is reversed from the garden back to the communal place: firstly the single-storey space, then the triple height. The dramatic change of spatial scale emphasises this sense of “reconnection�.

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SECTION DD 1:150

There are two group therapy studios:

art and dance. Both studios have view facing the existing trees. The art studio

also has eye-level window looking

into the garden, and the dance studio have high level windows to only bring the light in.

There is a buffer zone between the waiting area and the dance studio.

A light well is designed to bring light into that space.

0

1

2

3

4

5

10m

ART THERAPY STUDIO A creative approach

The group therapies provide a more relaxing environment, where guests and visitors can come together and produce some creative works. This also allows people to express their feelings in a non-verbal way.

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SECTION EE 1:150

The large space allows people to sit, chat, enjoy the coffee and the views. The stair is integrated with indoor plants and seats.

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10m

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CAFE Framing the views

Breeze and falling leaves: on a sunny afternoon.

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COMMUNAL GATHERING Together

A place to relex and reconnect: with nature, with each other.

Large windows frame a view of the garden. Upstairs, a visitor waves to her friend.

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LOOK BACK Relief | Spring is coming

The feelings will pass...

We’ve gone through a long way.

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Chapter 06-Structure and Tectonics

Materiality

59

Overall structure

61

Communal gathering

63

A threshold

65

Facing the garden

66

Facing the trees

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Special shelters

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MATERIALITY

Timber formwork concrete

Weathered steel Oak timber Cork

Material and structure are chosen due to their characters, the tactile texture, and their relationship to the nature.

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Entrance canopy is constructed with weathered steel, lightweight in contrast with the concrete walls.

The two main buildings are concrete, which feels dense and secure. The formwork of

staggered timber creates a rough and natural surface finish, dilutes the artificial aspect of concrete.

Ground Granulated Blast-furnace Slag (GGBS) is a waste product from steel industry, it

will replace 50% of the Portland cement used, not only reduces the embodied carbon but also makes the material less expensive. Since Bristol is an industrial city, the supply will be quite easy.

The pavilions and chapel are made of natural materials, as they are softer and have

more intimate relationship with natural context. The structure is timber frame, cladded with oak. Some pavilions have cork floors and seats.

Both oak and cork are sustainable materials, with tactile surface textures and earthy feelings. Cork also improves the acoustic quality of these therapeutic pavilions.

Although with different materiality, the surface of concrete and wood resemble each other, both echo with the rhythm of the tree branches.

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OVERALL STRUCTURE 10

The main buildings

9

8

The two main buildings are concrete

load bearing structure, which allows the structure to be freer and can have

9 10 6 8

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3

7

large spans. Timber formwork concrete is exposed as surface finish.

The overall grid is 5500*7000, with a few exceptions.

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6

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In the respite centre, although internal walls on first floor is made of concrete for

aesthetic reasons, they are considered to be non-structural, since the 7m span

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can be supported by just the external structural walls.

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4

3

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1. pile foundation and ground beams 2. retaining wall 1

3

2

3. concrete floor slab

4. external concrete structure wall 5. stiff core

6. internal concrete structure wall 7. rib slab

1

8. concrete roof slab

9. pre-cast rooflight support 10. rooflight

11. internal concrete non-structural wall

The

community

centre

has

large

openings on the facade. The intention

is to avoid distructing them with vertical

members. The large span is achieved by having deep concrete beams.

A

B

External structure

A: 1500mm concrete beam (with walls above) spanning 13m B: 1500mm concrete beam (with walls above) spanning 15m

There is also an intension to minimise vertical structure within the main large

space, so that the communal spaces feel more connected.

Rib slab is used due to the large span.

Ribs span in two directions, the largest

span is 15m. Total depth is 750 mm, with Rib slab viewed from bottom

C

D

E

600mm rib depth. Ribs are 200mm wide, with 1500mm intervals.

Ribs are marked in blue; the verticle load

is then transferred to members marked in red.

Retaining wall detail 1:20 Rib slab on first floor

- 200mm reinforced concrete structure wall, timber formwork, exposed - 100mm thermal insulation - damp proof membrane

- 200mm reinforced concrete retaining wall - waterproof membrane

Rib slab on second floor

C: 200mm concrete load bearing wall D: Stiff core E: 250mm concrete load bearing wall

- shingle for suitable drainage - angled mortar fillet - perforated drain

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COMMUNAL GATHERING Community centre

The community center is mainly constructed with concrete.

Timber formwork concrete walls are exposed as surface finish, so is the beam slab. Stair steps are finished

with timber linings, encourage visitors

to take a seat and spend sometime together. The two large windows

capture views of the landscape; the frame is weathered steel, same as the entrance canopy.

Detail section 1:70

Water tank - pre-cast concrete edge finish - 40mm concrete board finish - 190mm plastic feet

- Waterproof membrane - 20mm cement mortar

- 150mm reinforced concrete water tank, waterproof

- 100mm lightweight concrete - Clay pebble at edge Glazing - Corten steel window frame, 2° falls on top

- 12 mm toughened glass, 14 mm cavity, 8 mm toughened glass - 10mm seal

- damp proof membrane

- 65mm thermal insulation along the edge

Typical floor - 40mm polished concrete floor finish - 65mm screed with underfloor heating pipe

- 150mm thermal insulation - damp proof membrane

- 300mm concrete floor slab

Detail junction 1:20

64

A THRESHOLD Entrance canopy

2

The intention to create a threshold and promote multi-sensory experience.

Weathered steel is both the structure

and a spatial interface. The steel plate is bent, acts like a gutter and becomes structure itself, suspended by a series of frame. This allows the structure

to be as lightweight as possible: a “forest” of thin columns.

6

4

3

1. ø 100mm steel column 2. 2mm steel cladding 3. 200mm steel frame

4. 100mm secondary structure

5

2

5. 10mm steel plate, bent, suspended by supporting fames

6. supporting frame, ø 50mm steel column, 2m interval

1

65

FACING THE GARDEN Respite centre corridor and façade

Corridor

windows

have

different

characters, make the façade more dynamic. The “passing by” window is introverted, allows eye level view into

the garden but maintains privacy. The “seat pocket” window is extroverted, calls

for

visual

connection

and

engagement. Guests can choose to

either stay behind a screen or seat by the pockets and have a chat.

External isometric, showing northwest facade

The “introverted” window 1:70

Internal isometric, showing the corridor

The “extroverted” window 1:70

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FACING THE TREES Guest rooms and living room

The bedrooms face southeast, look at the screen of existing trees.

Each bedroom has a popped-out window seat that extends towards the

trees, for a more intimate interaction with nature. This is supported by a pre-

cast window sleeve, with timber linings integrated

with

interior furniture.

This unit can be prefabricated and transported to the site.

For the living room on ground floor, since existing trees have tall canopy,

a screen is needed to ensure privacy.

Vertical timber fins echo with tree branches, unevenly spaced in order to reduce a sense of “repetitive bars�.

Detail section 1:30@A3

Southeast facade isometric

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Roof and ceiling - sedum roof

- 100mm soil, gravel - filter fabric

- 50mm Drainage tray - protection board

- damp proof membrane

- 150mm thermal insulation - vapour barrier

- 350mm concrete slab (spans 7m)

- timber suspended ceiling, 350mm service gap with 30mm acoustic insulation in between Typical wall - 100mm concrete external wall - 150mm thermal insulation - bitumous seal

- 200mm concrete structural wall - 65mm thermal insulation

- 30mm acoustic insulation - 15mm render finish Window seat - 140mm pre-cast concrete window sleeve, connected to structural wall

by M20 blots

- bitumous seal

- 2° fall on top, 15*15 drip in concrete - 65mm thermal insulation

- 50mm timber lining, sealed

- timber frame, waterproof coat

- 12 mm toughened glass, 14 mm Detail junction 1:20

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cavity, 8 mm toughened glass

Window and timber screen - 12 mm toughened glass, 14 mm cavity, 8 mm toughened glass

- 30mm timber frame, waterproof coat, 2° inclination

- 30*30mm timber screen fixed to the frame

- 50mm timber lining, waterproof coat, nailed to the concrete and sealed

- damp proof membrane Typical floor - 20mm recycled timber plank - 50*50mm batten

- 65mm screed with underfloor heating pipe

- 150mm thermal insulation

- 65mm thermal insulation along the edge

- damp proof membrane

- 300mm concrete floor slab Foundation - 250mm ground beam - 200mm pile cap - ø 150mm piles

Detail junction 1:20

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SPECIAL SHELTERS 7

Therapy pavilions and chapel

5

The pavilions have lighter structures 6

comparing to the main buildings.

They vary in forms and have different window openings according to their

interaction with the nature, but the same structure principle applies.

The timber frame structure sits on a 3

6

5

4

3

2

1

concrete plinth.

1. concrete plinth

2. softwood floor frame

3. primary structure, softwood frame 4. sheathing board

5. secondary structure, batten 6. oak cladding 7. rooflight

Typical wall - 20mm oak cladding, waterproof

- 30*40mm batten, 500mm spacing - bituminous sealing layer - 12mm sheathing board

- 150 mm rock-wool insulation

between 100/200 mm softwood joists - 15mm plywood

- 30*40mm batten, 500mm spacing - 15mm timber cladding finish Typical floor - 20mm cork floor finish - 20mm plywood

- 150 mm rock-wool insulatio

between 50/200 mm softwood joists - bituminous sealing layer

- 20 mm protection board - 30*50mm battens

Detail section 1:20

Chapter 07-Environmental Strategy

Overall strategy

73

Heating

75

Thermal mass

76

Ventilation

77

Light & views

79

Rainwater collection

81

PV & green roof

82

Acoustics

83

OVERALL STRATEGY

Overall, the scheme is divided into a few smaller volumes, conditioned separately according to their occupancy density and operation times, which results in better energy efficiency. These strategies will be explained further in this chapter.

The community centre operates during the day and shuts at night, accommodates

more people at one time. It has the highest occupancy density during daytime, with larger glazing areas and large spaces, thus requires more energy.

The accommodation wing is consistently occupied 24/7, but with fewer people. Maytree guests will spend most of their times in here, so it is essential to maintain a constant environmental condition during both day and night. Guests should also be able to adjust the condition of their rooms to achieve the best comfort.

The therapy pavilions are occupied when someone needs it, typically one or two people at a time. Each pavilion can be conditioned independently.

The volumes have regular forms, which result in good form factors, thus minimize potential heat loss through the building fabric.

73

Plant rooms Vertical riser and service gap

74

HEATING

The volumes are heated separately to maximise energy efficiency.

The two main buildings are heated with underfloor heating. Ground source heat pump system is used, pipes in a closed loop circulate fluid which exchanges heat with the

ground. The pipes are arranged in a vertical loop due to a small site. The pavilions have localised heating devices.

Above is a diagrammatic representation of the ground source heat pump system in the accommodation wing; the community centre follows the same strategy.

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THERMAL MASS

Summer, day

Summer, night

Concrete wall, render finish

Concrete wall, exposed

Guests will spend a long time in the rooms both day and night; therefore it is essential to obtain a consistent thermal condition. Concrete walls are used to regulate the temperature.

In summer, existing trees provide solar shading. The thermal mass walls absorb heat during the day, prevent the rooms from getting too warm. At night, heat is

Winter, day

slowly released. Since the external is cooler at night, the rooms can be naturally ventilated and cooled down.

In winter, the trees have fewer leaves, and the rooms get more sunlight. Heat is stored in the concrete walls during the day and then released at night, prevents the rooms from getting too cold in the winter evenings.

Thermal mass walls help to maintain a comfortable internal temperature all year round. It also flattens the peaks and troughs in the heating cycle, allowing the heating system to operate more efficiently.

Winter, night

76

VENTILATION

Naturally ventilated Mixed mode (extractor fan) Mixed mode (MVHR) Mechanically ventilated (extractor fan) Mechanically ventilated (MVHR)

77

The accommodation wing, the pavilions

and the group therapy studios are all naturally ventilated, either single-sided

or via cross ventilation. This can be

easily achieved due to the domestic scale of the rooms. Dividing the scheme

into multiple volumes means that each

plan is relatively shallow, allowing key spaces to have direct access to

window openings. The windows are manually operated, giving inhabitants an autonomy to adjust the condition.

Exhaust cooled-down air Intake fresh cold air

Extract stale warm air Supply fresh warm air

The community centre, on the other

hand, has large spaces (gallery/cafe/

therapy waiting area) connected by double or triple height, with large glazing

areas.

These

spaces

are

Heat exchanger Diagrammatic representation- community centre in winter

mechanically ventilated in winter to

prevent heat loss. MVHR system is used

here to increase energy efficiency: stale air from within the building warms up

the incoming fresh cold air. The heat exchanger is within the service gap, ducts go through a vertical riser.

In the summer, these spaces can be naturally ventilated through windows

and roof lights, which also helps with cooling, prevents the space from

getting overheated. Roof lights are mechanically operated, opens up 30°.

A sensor is installed on the roof, which automatically shuts the roof lights when it detects raindrop.

Diagrammatic representation- community centre in summer

78

LIGHT & VIEWS

Access to natural light can significantly improve

emotional

wellbeing.

The

design ensures that every occupied space, apart from services, will benefit from daylight and have a view out.

Windows are placed with considerations of both the functional requirements

Additional light for north facing corridor. Light enters from the side rather than the top, diffused rather than direct.

and views. Guest bedrooms and living room face southeast, look at the

existing trees. Group therapy rooms and communal gathering space, on

the other hand, face the garden and

have more visual connection. Pavilions and the chapel have roof lights to capture the sky and bring light in,

some has an eye-level window looking

at the tree, and some has a low-level window with a view of the grass.

Rooflights have various forms and orientations according to the spaces.

View to the garden

View to the trees

Existing deciduous trees, solar shading in summer

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View to the garden

Top lit, frames a view of the sky and look up to the trees, creates an atmosphere

Studios have views to the tree

Rooflight brings more light into the triple height gallery space. Light entering the gallery is diffused, so that is softer and more uniform.

Proposed ever-green tree provides shading to the south facing glazed faรงade.

The tree replaces potential horizontal shading, results in a purer faรงade that frames the garden view better.

North light for art therapy studio Natural light from south Light well brings light for transition zone between therapy waiting area and the movement therapy studio. The diffused light gives a spiritual feeling that prepares people mentally for the upcoming therapy.

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RAIN WATER COLLECTION

Rain water collected from gutter External underground rainwater tank

Supply pipe WC

The community centre incorporates a rainwater harvesting system.

The down pipe is not apparent from the faรงade, but fitted within the walls along the

vertical riser. Rainwater will be collected and captured in a rainwater harvesting tank

beneath the building. The grey water will then be pumped up and re-used as general toilet water.

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PV & GREEN ROOF

Photovoltaic panels are placed on the roof of the community centre, facing south and inclined at an angle to maximise daily solar gains. The community centre is three

storeys tall and is 22m away from the existing trees at southeast, therefore the panels will not be overshadowed.

The PV panels firstly convert solar energy into DC electricity, which is then converted

by an inverter into 240V AC power that is compatible with the appliances. During peak sun hours, excess electricity is automatically sent to utility company.

The respite centre, on another hand, has a green roof. This adds to another layer of

thermal and acoustic insulation, and also provides a better view when people in the community centre look down from second floor.

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ACOUSTICS

When I visited Maytree, the volunteers

told me the importance of acoustic quality: when the volunteers and

guests discuss some sensitive subjects, others mustn’t overhear it. As the

site is near to a hospital, the building should also be sheltered away from

the potential noise of an ambulance.

Sound also plays an important role in creating a therapeutic atmosphere.

In the respite centre, acoustic insulation is placed at the external walls, the internal walls (bedrooms and therapy rooms),

Existing trees as sound barrier

order to minimize noise disturbance

Acoustic insulation along the wall

Acoustic insulation above suspended ceiling

and above the suspended ceiling, in Green roof, acoustically insulating

and ensure privacy. Office walls will also be finished with acoustic panels. Existing

trees along the southeast boundary act

as an acoustic barrier, and the green roof gives another layer of insulation.

The therapy pavilions are scattered in the landscape, independent from

each other, which ensures privacy of

conversations. The interior is finished with oak and cork. Cork has an especially good acoustic quality.

Cork seating

Oak cladding

20mm cork flooring, thicker than the standard 6mm for good acoustic quality

83

Chapter 08-Regulatory Compliance

Part B

84

Part M

86

CDM

88

PART B Fire Safety

B1 - Means of Warning and Escape

All the buildings are at low risk of fire. Both buildings are fitted with automatic fire detection and alarm system for early warning. The respite centre accommodates a

maximum of 20 people at a time (8 guests, 8 volunteers and two directors), the purpose group is residential (other); the community centre accommodates a maximum of 50-60 people (20 people per group therapy session, 5 staff, and visitors to cafĂŠ, gallery can

communal gathering), the purpose group is shop and commercial. Both buildings are fitted with sprinkler system to minimise the risk. Both buildings have multiple (minimum of 2) exits for general users, one via back of house, and an external stair. Almost all the rooms have at least two escape routes, either to a stair or an exit, with a maximum travel distance of 16m, which is in compliance with part B1.

In the respite centre there are two inner rooms on first floor, with a travel distance of 4m to the nearest stair and 13m to ground floor exit. All the plant rooms and storage rooms are enclosed by fire resisting construction.

Each pavilion accommodates 1-5 people at a time, with direct exit to external spaces.

B2 - Internal Fire Spread (Linings)

The main internal materials are exposed concrete, timber, and plaster board. The pavilions also have cork as internal finish. Most of these materials are naturally fire resistant and do no burn very easily, and will not release any toxic gas in case of a fire.

Timber linings will be treated to be flame retardant.

Part B4: External Fire Spread

All buildings and pavillions are located at least 4.5m away from each other to resist the spread of fire. Both the community centre and the respite centre have concrete as their external walls, which is highly fire resistant. Timber claddings for pavilions are treated to be flame retardant.

B5 - Access and Facilities for the Fire and Rescue Service

Fire vehicles can access the site from the roads along Malborough Hill (northeast) and

Alfred Hill (northwest). Fire Vehicles can also reach the southeast part of the site via pump appliance from cottage Place (southeast).

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Escape route Fire vehicle access Inner room

85

PART M Access and use of buildings

The main access to the site is along with Malborough Hill (northeast), both by walking

and by car. The bus station is also within walking distance. The secondary (less used) access is along with Alfred Hill (northwest).

As the site is on a sloping hill, both access routes are too steep for wheelchair, thus it is assumed that wheelchair users will be dropped off by others at the main entrance to

site. Within the site it is not as steep (since it was previously a car park and is flatter), therefore can be accessible.

The building blocks and pavilions are at different heights as the site slopes up, entrances are connected by ramped landscaping routes. Each main path is 1500mm wide for

wheelchairs to turn, with a minimum of 1500*1500mm landing flush to entrances. Ramp gradients and lengths are compliant with the part M regulations.

Both buildings have level change on ground floor due to the sloping site. In the

community centre it goes up 1100mm from cafĂŠ to gallery, accessed via lift. The lift goes up half a level (door opens at opposite sides) first, then full levels to upper floors.

The back of house is also 1190mm lower than service access at road level, therefore a platform lift is used for deliveries.

In the respite centre it goes up 500mm at dining space, accessed via platform lift.

Bespoke platform lift is used in order to minimise the impact on aesthetics.

Both buildings have lifts for vertical access to upper floors. Lifts are in compliance with the standard prescribed in part M document.

In the respite centre an accessible bedroom is provided near to the lift, with a slightly different layout to allow 1500*1500mm wheelchair turning space in both the room and

en-suite. En-suite has ppropriate equipment such as grab rails to comply with Part M Section 5.

Within each room (standard and accessible) there is a minimum of 800mm width to one side and the foot of the bed.

86

bespoke platform lift

lift goes up half a level on ground floor Service drop-off point from road Secondary access point Main access/ public drop-off point from road Accessible bedroom Accessible WC PLatform lift Lift Vertical access

87

CDM construction and buildability, tree protection

Before Construction:

A CDM manager should be appointed to assess the potential risks that may arise and then advise the team on how to best mitigate these.

Undertake archaeological and geological exploration of the site and assess existing tree conditions. As the design aims to retain existing trees on site, tree protection is very

important, in order to achieve a sustainable and harmonious relationship between trees

and structures. Tree protection barriers should be set up and should be highly visible, the range is at least the projection of tree canopies (offset 8.5m from northwest and 6.5m from southeast). It will be challenging to keep all the trees, but it is worth it.

As the site is within urban context, hoardings should be set up around the perimeter in order to prevent unauthorised access to the construction site, thus ensure a safe working environment. Fire escape strategy and assembly point should be established.

During Construction:

Vehicle access of materials is along the road on Marlborough hill. Site cabin is set up.

Materials will be stored at a distance away from tree protection zone, at initially where the car park hard paving is, in order to minimize compacting the soils.

Piled foundations are used in order to minimize disturbance to soil and tree roots.

Appropriate edge protection will be put in place while construction the retaining walls.

The two main building blocks (concrete) will be constructed first, then the timber-

structured pavilions as they require less material and equipment, then the garden

and landscape. Entrance canopy is installed in the end to optimize access to site and material deliveries. The popped-out window seat parts in respite center will be prefabricated and then transferred to the site, which helps to reduce the time and risk

during construction. Most of the welding works of steel canopy are done off-site as wel.

Everyone working on site is required to wear personal protective equipment (PPE), and

will be trained with sufficient knowledge and skills. Scaffolding will be installed to reduce the risk of falling.

To minimize the impact of noise and vibration having effects on the neighborhood, the work will be carried out during appropriate hours.

Post Construction:

Roofs need access for maintenance. The respite centre roof is accessed via a flat rooflight

(opens 60 degrees), and the community roof is accessed via one of the pitched rooflight in the art therapy studio, both rooflights have sufficient width.

88

Hoarding Vehicle access to site Initial site office Initial material storage Tree protection zone

89

Chapter 09-Design Process

An overview

90

An evolution

92

Evaluation after final review

97

AN OVERVIEW

90

The beginning

Interim review 1

Landscape tutorial

Tectonic tutorial

Interim review 2

Quarantine starts

Tectonic review

Final review

Final report

Experiment with sketches and physical models.

Loads of potentials.

The design has to have a root.

Getting increasingly confident and excited about the concept and the overall scheme.

Still no plan :(

The decision of keeping the trees got challenged, but I decided to not give it up. Tried to resolve the level difference and the relationship to nature.

Way too much empathy, need to step out. Pathfinding was a big issue to resolve. The walkways seemed like a mess.

Got rid of the walkways, the design became simpler but stronger.

Excited to design the pavilions. Last crit in uni, luckily it was positive.

A massive shift in the working environment, took a long time to adapt.

Chaotic mental health state. Refined the entrances and started to develop the tectonics.

Entrance canopy toke a long time to refine, but was worth it. Abounded an over-complicated screen idea on respite centre façade. Tried to resolve the landscape. A lot of rationalising the decision-making.

Pulling things together for the review hand-in, spotted loads of unresolved things.

Severe absence of sleep and food.

Wished there could be a pin-up and face-to-face crit.

Feedback was better than I thought.

Overwhelmed by the workload but started to accept that things can be imperfect. Finally, I started to like my design again.

“There are so many possibilities.”

“Keep all the existing trees.”

“But I like it; I’ll make it work.”

“Am I going in the wrong direction? ”

“I can see it on the site like this. ”

“There is no way I can finish my degree.”

“Either suspend or get on with it. ”

“This design is such a failure. ”

“This is not perfect, but it’s fine. ”

The process was painful but also enjoyable, with lots of ups and downs, ...and hundreds of tracing papers and sketches.

91

AN EVOLUTION

1

2

3

4

The process began with a series of models and sketches. I spent the time up until the first interim trying to consolidate the fundamental ideas, before working on a plan.

I chose to approach the design by breaking it into a few volumes. These volumes then

got categorised according to the programmes and were made more distinct in scale.

By doing so it allowed them to have a more sensitive relationship to nature, however,

at that point I was about to take a few trees down and bring the main entrance to road level for an ease of access: a purely functional approach.

But after rethinking about it, I realised the site is unique because of the trees, and they shall all be kept. This decision brought me a lot of constrains, but at the same

time made the scheme much stronger. The volumes then got refined in their scales: a

more unified community block, a linear accommodation block, and a few therapeutic pavilions scattered in the landscape. It then evolved into the final massing. Once this was

established, it was strong enough to be kept throughout the design process, allowing me to develop things in more detail. It will be impossible to go through everything I’ve done, so here are just some extracts.

92

93

The initial idea: a journey through nature, encounter therapeutic pods with different characteristics. The lifted-up walkways eventually became paths on the ground, but the

branch-like route is kept and refined. Pavilions became single storey, emphasised with a chapel. A consistent architectural language was developed. I wish to spend another

two months exploring the pavilions and their tectonics; however, I might still come back to this decision of keeping them simple...

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What is the first image people see when they get here? Once the massing was confirmed,

I was clear that the entrance should be a lightweight passageway between the two solid building blocks, with a framed view looking into the courtyard. The canopy idea and the

landscape were developed after the second review to create a threshold. There should be a tree that greets, and I insisted the canopy to have a curvature which interacts with the greeting tree. The structure was difficult to revolve, eventually it became as lightweight as possible, with a tectonic approach that incorporates rain water.

95

Second interim crit. Will I put more effort in if I knew this would be my last review at Bath?

96

EVALUATION AFTER FINAL REVIEW

The community building was thought to

be less successful, as it feels a bit boxy,

and the fenestration can be improved.

It was, however, my intention to keep the massing unified rather than breaking it down, because the buildings act as

sheltering layers to the garden and pavilions, and should feel dense and

secure. The faรงade is reserved as people walk along with Marlborough Hill, and

the garden is only revealed when they approach the entrance, . The scheme

is intentionally made to be introverted.

Along Marlborough Hill. A reserved faรงade.

But I do agree that the massing of this community-building feels boxy comparing its neighbours. One of

the reasons was because I have not

examined the adjacent buildings well enough: the chimneys and the walls create a rhythm of ups and downs,

which is more dramatic than I thought.

If I had more time, maybe I can explore the form and height of the roof lights a

Garden revealed only at the entrance.

bit more, so that the roof can obtain a

similar rhythm rather than just being flat.

On the other hand, although the rhythmic roof responds better to the surroundings, I still think the sense of protection is stronger and more

dramatic with it being flat. If I were given

another semester, this would surely be something I want to explore.

Re-examine buildings along Marlborough Hill.

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Chapter 10-This Is Not The End

A personal journey

98

Should there be a poem?

99

It’s ok to be imperfect

100

A PERSONAL JOURNEY

Here I am typing some final words for my degree project. Back in four years time, I could never imagine myself getting this far.

To design a “sanctuary for the suicidal� is a massive challenge, not only because the subject is seen as controversial and sensitive, but also because I have been there myself.

When I was in that moment, I wished there could be a sanctuary-like place. I drew it on paper, a personal and artistic approach. And then, I wished to create such a place for not just myself, through architecture this time. This was initially my motivation.

It is a big decision to face my weakest self, the process was undoubtedly painful. The biggest challenge is to make sure that the design is not too personal: it has to benefit

more people rather than just myself, and should work well architecturally. I had to keep reminding myself to act professionally.

However, I did have too much empathy halfway through the design process, as I could have expected. I wished everything to work perfectly, and this brought me loads of

pain and pressure. At some point, I did question whether it was the right decision to approach my degree project like this. But eventually , I think it is worth it.

There is surely a lot to improve with the design, but I think I have achieved a lot more than I thought I could. The unexpected outbreak of coronavirus has made my mental state worse, and I was almost certain to suspend my study: I could not even see myself

making it to tectonic review. Therefore, I am still feeling surreal while typing these words, cannot believe that I have done my final review (although via e-mails), and received one of the most positive review feedbacks among these four years.

It has been a long journey, and will continue to be.

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Illustration of my own "emotional sanctuary"drawn when I suffered from depression and was in a suicidal crisis.

SHOULD THERE BE A POEM?

My four years of architecture study was full of confusion and doubt: it has been a struggle of trying to balance the functions and the poems.

In the first two years, I abandoned the artistic part of me. All my design decisions

were purely rational and functional. The outcomes were ok, but they did not feel like anything to me: I was just fulfilling the requirements and ticking the boxes.

Then, I decided to make a change. I started to ask myself, how will people experience

this building? Why should the circulation be like this apart from “separating the public and private”? Why should I use this material apart from “I found similar materials on the site”? If my design cannot ring the bell to me, how can it ring the bell to others?

In the beginning chapter I wrote, architecture can do more than just accommodating, and I want to explore this.

I was once told that the design should not be approached based on a concept, and there is no such a thing called “concept”. However, after going through all these painful processes, I still think concept exists. I still insist that a design should have a root, strong enough to tie everything together and summaries the building in a few sentences.

Instead of rushing into a plan, I spent the first few weeks of trying to establish this root, and I am really glad that I did so. The idea of creating an “Urban Sanctuary” and

“The healing quality and nature, especially the trees” has been affecting a large part

of my decisions, not only my design, but also my structure and tectonics, material choices, landscape, and my presentation styles. This root makes the scheme coherent and motivates me, especially during the difficult time of self-quarantining.

I am still struggling to balance the functional and poetic aspect of architecture, and there is still a very long way to go. But at least, my design started to mean something to me, which is a big step.

99

An early-stage sketch

IT’S OK TO BE IMPERFECT

“What hurts you the most?

-My own expectations. “

I grew up being a perfectionist all the time. This has brought me an enormous amount of pain. For countless times, I try to burn myself out, refining a design, a drawing, or even just a page layout. It takes me longer to do something comparing to the most of

my peers, as I get trapped into the rabbit hole of keep fixing it, even when the problem is “minor”. This then leads to an anxiety of not getting things finished in time, together with a great number of late nights.

Although I still enjoy it, every design project seems like an emotional torture. My space was full of tracing papers, models, notes…but I did not have a plan until the second interim: there was always something that did not work.

During these four years, I constantly criticize myself and question whether I have the ability to learn architecture. It may sound ridiculous, but my hesitation was real. In fact,

while preparing for the final review, for a moment I thought the project was a failure: there were so many unresolved parts, I wished I had another semester.

This project remains imperfect. The community centre space can be more interesting;

the pavilions can have more possibilities; the internal materials and tectonics can be explored more… I have to admit these.

But if you ask me now, do I like it? I think yes. Although there are so many problems,

I can happily say that I managed to capture the atmosphere I wanted to create. There are times that I am so excited about this design, and I can see it sitting on the site with

the trees: I could not imagine myself designing anything like this in earlier years. When I encounter that moment of excitement and joy, I think all the pain is worth it.

When I say this project is a journey, it is also a personal journey of trying to reconcile with myself. I may not have enough time to create all the drawings on my list and express all my thoughts, but it’s fine.

It took me four years to finally say this: my works are imperfect, but I like them.

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Typical late night caused by my perfectionism. Photo taken at 3 a.m.

I would like to sincerely thank my tutors, my friends, and my family.

I could never reach the same outcome without your guidance, support, and courage.

Fourth year has ended unexpectedly without a proper chance to say goodbye.

I am deeply grateful to meet you all, and this shall not be the end.