Returning to the Not so Normal

PIETERMARITZBURG-BASED EDUCATIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST, SAM HART, TALKS TO MUM’S MAIL READERS ABOUT THE RECENT RETURN TO SCHOOL AND THE EMOTIONS AND BEHAVIOURAL CHANGES YOU MIGHT EXPECT TO SEE IN YOUR CHILDREN OVER THE COMING WEEKS.

The past few months is also your responsibility, have been turbulent as parents, to do what you for teachers, parents and feel is in the best interchildren. We have had the ests of your own child, but introduction of COVID-19 remember, your child likely into our everyday lives, the has their own thoughts and inevitable lockdown that opinions. Talk to your child followed, the first attempt at about how they feel about a return to school, the closgoing back to school and ing of schools once again keep those communication and now the reopening of lines open as this will help schools for all grades. It is you make your decision. For not surprising that many those parents who decide parents and children may to send their children back feel a wide mix of emoto school, you may come tions such as confusion, across a few of the followapprehension, frustration, ing experiences: or even pure excitement Younger Children at the thought of returning Most children have been to school. Each child and safely sheltered in their parent will have a unique homes, with their parents or perspective and range of guardians, for the past few feelings, based on their months. Now the prospect own experiences of the of leaving that bubble of virus, and it is important safety is becoming a reality. to remember that each of You may notice that your those feelings are valid and once independent child real for the person experibegins to experience some encing them. anxiety when having to

As parents, the decision separate from you, particufalls on you as to whether larly on their first day back to send your child back to at school. This is a normal school or to opt for conreaction to a very abnormal tinued home-schooling. It situation. Children are now entering a location (school) that was once deemed a safe place to be, but now they find themselves surrounded by people with masks and they have to have their temperature taken to enter the school. Their desks have been moved away and now they have to sit further apart from their friends, both in the classroom and at break.

You may also notice some changes in your child’s behaviour, where your usually loud and confident child quietens down and becomes a little more anxious and unsure. It may also be the case that your usually well-behaved child now begins to display some negative behaviours during the school day. Once again, these reactions are your child’s way of coping with an abnormal experience, and it will take them time to adjust to the new rules and expectations placed on them. Keep those communication lines open with your children, let them know that you are their safe place to fall when they get home from school. Reinforce their resilience, self-esteem and their courage so that they feel ready to face the next day and the day after that.

Older Children and Teenagers

Older children and teenagers may have a better understanding of the reasons behind the changes they will

see in their school environment when they return. This does not necessarily indicate that they feel any more confident or safe about returning to school. They may be frustrated by the limits placed on their social interactions and freedoms and they may feel a sense of anxiety at having a limited time to catch up on the curriculum. The removal of their extramural and sports activities may also negatively influence their state of mind as these activities would have provided a safe place to let off some of the steam from the day.

Parents may notice a change in their child’s behaviour, either in the build-up to returning to school or once they are back at school. A once confident and self-assured older child or teenager may start to rely more on their parents as confidants and

there may be a renewed seeking of reassurance from your child that may not have been seen for years. Like with younger children, it is important for your child to know that they can come and talk to you about their fears and anxieties. It may also help your older child or teenager to work out a new daily or weekly routine, based on when they will be attending school, and what projects or assignments they will receive for the days that they are not required at school. This will provide increased structure and certainty while they are finding their feet again.

Whether you are the parent to a young child or a teenager, your children will adjust at their own pace, to the new normal that is the school year of 2020. As parents, believe in the knowledge that you have done your best to raise a resilient young person and that your children are doing their best to cope with their new environment and expectations. Do not be surprised if your child loves being back at school, they too are handling the new situation in the best way that can and their positivity for school should be reinforced and encouraged.

For those children who may find the return to school a little more challenging, and who may show signs of heightened anxiety, or a sense of not coping, keep those communication lines open and build up their support system at home. If necessary, seek the help of a professional to assist your child to cope with those challenges they face.

Keep well, keep safe and keep moving forward together. You can contact Sam Hart for an appointment on 033 346 1650.