parentingtricky TWEENS

WE ARE THEIR SWIMMING POOL WALLS, WRITES CHRISTY HERSELMAN

much more likely to come and talk to you in times of worry and confusion if they know you are not only an accurate source of information, but a shame-free zone.

• Home is where they belong. Tweens who feel unconditionally loved, supported, and deeply connected to their parents and siblings are much less likely to flounder in the turbulent waters of identity confusion which come with this stage of life.

• Where the boundaries are. A friend once told me, “I give my kids lots of freedom, but at the edge of that freedom is an electric fence.” Tweens without boundaries can become egotistical and narcissistic. Those with healthy boundaries are usually much more secure and have a healthy sense of their place in the world.

• You are close by. With tweens increasingly living so much of their lives online, they need to know you are aware and paying attention to what is happening, both online and off. Our kids don’t always need us to advise them, fix things or offer solutions. Sometimes they just need a little empathy, a sounding board or someone to talk things through with.

• You will never let them drown. Our tweens are going to mess up and do dumb stuff. They are going to make big mistakes; it is part of their journey into adulthood. But most of all our tweens need to know that we are with them no matter what. Sure, they will need to walk through some consequences and clean up their mess, but you will be with them all the way.

So as our tweens navigate this strange in-between phase of life, let’s be their swimming pool walls: there for them to cling to when they’re feeling weak and vulnerable, boundaries for them to pump against when they push too far, and springboards for them to dive off into the wild adventure that is life. *

Dr Mike Westbrook started as a general practitioner in 1978, when he joined Dr Tickey Hallot and Dr Don Raw at their surgery on 8 Meller Road in Pinetown. “I had a happy 17 years with two wonderful GPs and friends in a very busy practice,” he says. “We did a variety of surgical and gynaecological procedures, as well as anaesthetics at the Pinetown Surgical Clinic –above Ben Joubert’s Pharmacy in Hill Street.”

Dr Westbrook adds that they also worked a lot at St Mary’s Mission Hospital – a trappist monastery in Mariannhill –delivering babies, doing bigger procedures in the theatres, and assisting surgeons, gynaecologists, etc. “All of this has sadly disappeared, as GPs are no longer invited to assist at any surgery,” he explains.

“I relocated to Loudon Park, 8 St Mary’s Road, Kloof – a beautiful office block in parklike surroundings, with security and designated parking – in 1996,” says Dr Westbrook, who embraced the change after 17 wonderful years in Pinetown.

A few years later, in 2000, Village Healthcare was formed – comprising GP Dr Mike Westbrook, chiropractor Dr Jacqui Paton, and physiotherapist Caron Mackenzie. “Subsequently Eileen Murray joined Caron. Later Dr Jackie Paton emigrated to the UK, and Dr Shoshanna Dunn has taken over the chiropractic practice,” adds Dr Westbrook.

“I will be retiring at the end of March, and Dr Konrad Dorfling will be taking over,” he says.