What they hope for

“I hope the war in Ukraine ends.”

“I hope my dad gets another job soon.”

“I hope the pandemic is over and we won’t have to go back to online learning again.”

“I hope that we will have enough money to pay this month’s rent.”

“I hope my mom doesn’t feel so sad all the time.”

“I hope the wildfires get put out.”

These are just a few of hopes that the young people of our community have shared with Family Transition Place (FTP) Youth Educators during the past year. As we all know, the world changed very quickly in the spring of 2020 and our children were not immune to the impact of those changes. Children have experienced upheaval and trauma on a scale rarely, if ever, seen before. They were forced to stay away from friends and family, learn from behind a computer screen, miss important once-in-a-lifetime milestones and watch as the world figuratively and literally burned.

No person, let alone a child, should ever have to witness events like the ones that have taken place in the last few years. But the truth is, our children have watched, listened and absorbed these traumatic events. They’ve done this without the long runway of life experiences that adults have. So, while adults can lean on their history to tell them that things can get better, our children simply need to take our word for it. These circumstances have led to a population of young people who, while eager to return to what is considered a “normal” childhood, aren’t really prepared for what that means.

After two plus years of virtual learning we are now sending our children back to school to do “actual” learning. That means, leaving the safety and security of their homes where they often learned by themselves and without a lot of structure, to a scheduled school day full of different people and personalities.

Returning to school goes well beyond reading, writing and mathematics, in which many young people have fallen behind. This “actual” learning also extends into socialization, empathy and self-esteem. The gap in these learned skills has created crisis situations in many schools with angry outbursts, dysfunctional classroom dynamics and far too many students struggling to cope with their new seemingly “normal” childhood.

Unfortunately, based on 16 years of experience gained in local schools, I have to report that things are anything but normal. FTP is seeing the lowest self-esteem, empathy, and self-efficacy scores we’ve seen in our program’s history.

This is backed up by the increase in the aggressive and sometimes violent behaviours we are seeing in schools. The youth who are acting out are not choosing this path. It comes from the years of trauma combined with the lack of practical life experiences that act as a young person’s teacher as they grow up.

While the picture I’m painting of our local schools may seem bleak, it’s actually quite the opposite.

The schools are teeming with potential, possibility and thousands of resilient children who want to learn how to become the best versions of themselves. They are surrounded by compassionate and caring educators that work every day to help students reach their full potential.

Our schools are simply a microcosm of the world at large and just like the world, for every negative there are countless positives. I have had the privilege of witnessing many of those positives over the last 18 months.

Since FTP Youth Education programs have returned to in-person learning, the results have been remarkable. Students who had participated in FTP programs before pandemic lockdowns, welcomed us back into their classroom like an old friend who had been away for far too long. They reengaged in discussions and games with a newly charged social conscious derived from what many of us around the world had learned during the pandemic. But, to watch a 12-year-old share their thoughts on social injustices and what they want their world to look like in the future left me with goosebumps and hope.

New students to our programs often show trepidation and nervousness. This is to be expected and is natural when meeting someone new who wants to help make their classroom a safer and more comfortable space. But it didn’t take long for our new friends to embrace FTP as an integral part of their school week. Many times we heard shouts of joy from the students like:

“Monday’s are my favourite because FTP is here!”

“That was actually way more fun that I thought it would be.”

“Our class feels happier on days that FTP comes to our school.”

I have seen students (whose attendance at school is sporadic at best) ensure they’re at school every day the FTP program is in their classroom. I have witnessed disruptive and, at times, disrespectful classes engage in real conversations about how to change things…and then actually do it. I have seen students who have been struggling with their mental health for far too many months (or years) finally reach out and get the help they need.

You see, the most remarkable moments occur when things seem like they’re at their worst. Children will seek out a bright light when things are dark and for some of them, FTP has been that bright light on difficult school days.

So, while working in schools is more challenging right now, our work is more important than ever. Just like “A river cuts through rock not because of its power but because of its persistence,” FTP persists.

For over 20 years, FTP has been working to build healthier communities, one classroom (one student) at a time. It’s not a quick fix, it’s a generational shift. With help from our generous donors who support these programs, and the local schools that welcome us through their doors, this generational shift can continue year after year.

That leads me to sharing one final hope that countless students have shared with FTP’s youth educators over the past school year…

“I sure hope I have you in my class again next year.”

Thankfully, that is one hope we can make come true. We will be back in their classroom next year and the year after that. The work doesn’t end because it gets more difficult, it just becomes more critical that it gets done.

Since FTP’s Youth Education Program began in 2001, more than 60,000 students and over 40 schools have benefited from these skill-building, attitude changing programs, which run primarily on fundraised dollars and a cost recovery model developed for participating schools in Dufferin and Caledon.

Travis Greenley has taught leading-edge healthy relationship strategies to more than 60,000 kids (and counting) over the last 16 years. Travis has also spoken to countless adults across multiple platforms on many topics. He published a book in 2019 entitled “A Walk in Her Shoes – One Man’s Journey into Feminism.”