Supporting you Child's Return to School

Supporting your Child’s Return to School

By Catherine Lynch

For the second time in a year children have experienced major turbulence in their school lives. The restrictions of the latest lockdown have been piled on top of months of change, anxiety and uncertainty. So how can parents support their child’s transition back to school?

Like many, your child might feel desperate to return to school and be holding on incredibly tightly to the idea of it and the return to ‘normality’ it appears to signify. This puts a lot of pressure on the return going according to plan and may lead to them having unrealistic expectations of what school will be like when they are back in the classroom. At the other end of the spectrum, a child might be withdrawn and reluctant to engage with the idea of returning to school at all. School life and their friends were taken away, and that was painful, so why would they open themselves up to being hurt again? If you are worried about your child falling behind academically during lockdown, try to put that to one side for now. Remember that your child's teacher will have loads of ideas on how to support them. The best way you can help prepare your child for returning to school is by supporting their emotional needs: . Keep the lines of communication open. Talk to your child, let them know you are there for them. If they don’t want to talk, let them know you will be ready to listen if and when they do. Try to avoid putting pressure on your child during the conversation or minimising what they say. Sometimes just being present is the most important thing we can do as a parent. Some great responses to validate your child’s feelings are: “I can hear you feel really nervous about...” or “Gosh, I can see how that would feel scary”. Responses like this let your child know you have listened, and can acknowledge and name their feeling swithout reinforcing them. Give control where you can. Having a sense of control can ease a child’s anxiety and create a feeling of stability, but be careful not to overpromise. In the lead up to returning to school and once they are back, if there are tasks to be done at home and preparations to be made, let your child decide the order in which they complete these tasks, but don’t give them free rein over what the tasks are. Get outside when you can. Going outside reduces stress and is a simple way of improving the mental health and well-being of your family. So go outside, blow the cobwebs away and stretch your legs. Develop a positive mindset. See the positive but don’t ignore the negative. Acknowledge what is difficult for your child. Ignoring negative feelings and events is similar to trying to hold a balloon underwater. It is possible for a short period of time, but eventually the balloon will spring up and cause a splash. After negative events or feelings have been processed, encourage your child to identify something positive. They can share it with you or someone else that they trust or keep it to themselves. Questions to prompt positive thoughts could be: “What did you enjoy today?”, “What are you looking forward to tomorrow?” or “What are you looking forward to in the future?” Having the ability to identify positives can be a light in a dark day. And finally...you know what typical behaviour looks like for your child. Look out for changes which indicate that they are struggling. Behaviour is generally a more accurate identifier of well-being than anything else. Changes in sleeping or eating habits or an increase in emotional outbursts are signs your child might need some extra support. When you look beyond the behaviour, you can find the trigger and work out what support is needed. Try not to focus on what they did, but look for the ‘why’ as this will help you work as a team to move past the problem. Catherine is a former primary school teacher and resource creator at PlanBee. She is a qualified Play Therapist and is interested in mental health and well-being in schools. Discover how PlanBee is supporting parents educating their children at home with ready-to-use downloadable resources or read more tips and advice on their blog.