A confident return to work

By Lucy Baker

Having time away from work and being a ‘mummy’ takes some adjustment at first; but before you know it, you’re in the thick of motherhood and busy with your baby. After a few weeks, the idea of work becomes a distant memory and parenting routines become your new norm.

Fast forward a few months (or even years) and the time comes to face going back to work. This can conjure up all sorts of different emotions, including lack of confidence and doubts about your workplace ability. Mixed feelings are completely normal and with a bit of work on your self-belief and confidence you will be good to go when the time comes.

Here are some ways to boost your confidence ahead of your return to work:

Share your feelings. Try to avoid putting on a brave face to please people around you. If you are struggling, talk about it. You will be surprised how receptive your family and friends are when faced with the truth.

Be kind to yourself. Accepting that life has changed is a biggy. Life is definitely different now you are a parent but it doesn’t mean to say that it is either better or worse - just different. Let’s face it, you’ve had a baby so you can achieve anything!

Explore negative thought work. This involves being aware of negative thoughts and replacing them with positive selfstatements.

Negative thought exercise

It is not uncommon for women to bombard themselves with negative thoughts every day. But there’s hope! These CAN be turned around.

As a process, actively challenging and reversing negative thoughts has been proven to increase self-belief, self-worth, self-care and confidence.

Start a habit of writing down all your negative thoughts on lined paper, missing a line between each one. For example: ‘I hate my nose,’ ‘I feel like people will laugh at me,’ ‘I am rubbish at running,’ ‘I hate my tummy,’ ‘I am not good at talking in meetings,’ ‘I hate Zoom’ etc. If you hear more negative thoughts, add them to the list.

Then reframe each negative thought. This means working down the list, changing each negative statement to a positive one. Thus ‘I feel like people will laugh at me’ becomes ‘I feel like people will laugh with me,’ and ‘I hate my tummy’ becomes ‘My tummy produced my daughter!’

You get the idea. Now tell yourself the new positive statements, out loud, on repeat: forever.

Support network. It’s important to have a robust support network around you before and when you return to work. While it isn’t always easy (due to lack of family nearby, expensive childcare costs), knowing there are people you can rely on if you need them will help you feel better. Asking for help is key and although it might feel hard to do, if help has been offered, do take it.

Dress the part. This doesn’t have to mean brand new clothes and shiny new handbags; there are decent bargains to be found in charity shops and no one will know! Give yourself time in the morning for skincare, make-up and groomed hair so you look and feel the part.

Read your CV and update it. Seeing the facts down on paper really does help.

Lucy Baker is a self-employed mother of three and founder of coaching business, She Coaches Confidence. Read more at www.shecoachesconfidence.com

Start journalling

Journalling is the practice of logging your thoughts, providing an insightful way of problem-solving and getting to know yourself. Apart from the initial cost of a journal, it is a free tool that you can use again and again.

Here’s how to get started:

Buy yourself a special book to record your thoughts. This might be a hardback with a lovely cover, either lined or with blank pages for doodles and sketches. Find a favourite pen and set aside ten minutes a day to write with no distractions.

Write down exactly what is in your head. Questions can be good prompts: ‘Why am I worried about going back to work?’ ‘Do I believe in myself?’ Freely write your answers as thoughts come into your head.

At first, journalling might feel a little odd and the words you commit to paper might not make much sense; but trust the process and literally go with the flow. There are no rules. This is your private space to reveal and log the progress of your mindset.