How to encourage empathy in your child

Families Education How to encourage empathy in your child

By Mimi Nicklin Empathy levels have declined by forty percent in the last thirty years, according to a recent study by University of Michigan. This decline in empathy levels is impacting our emotional health and increasing levels of bullying in schools and violence in wider society. So how do we ensure we are responsible parents who help our children connect with others and fully understand those around them?

We can’t help but look to the next generation to drive a far deeper sense of empathy between all of us. Studies have now shown that from two years of age, children start to show genuine empathy; understanding how other people feel even when they don’t feel the same way that they do. So we need, as parents, to nurture empathy from an early age.

There are many ways we There are many ways can empower our children to we can empower our truly develop the emotional children to truly develop intelligence our world needs. At the emotional intelligence its core, the role-modelling that our world needs. we apply at home is probably the most key of these, showing our children how empathy looks and how we put the feelings and reality of others at the forefront of our actions.

Our children will follow our lead. But beyond this, the secret to creating empathy may lie in the books and stories we give our children access to. Bedtime stories. Day-time stories. Life-time stories.

However stories are told, storytelling with your children can be an incredibly powerful tool for helping them gain new perspectives and create shared understanding with those around them. Emotional simulation and imagination through storytelling is the foundation of our children’s ability to evolve their capacity to empathise and truly understand others. It allows them to make the leap from their own beautifully self-centered world to understanding that others may feel distinctly different from them and that recognising this is well within their reach and role.

Academic research now shows that reading, or being read to, changes the neuro pathways in our brain. It quite literally alters the way we process and think. Creating empathy is, of course, not limited to storytelling alone but it’s a proven way to support our children as they grow in a world that has increasingly low empathy.

How to be an empathetic role-model at home

BE PRESENT: Try and make sure people always feel like they are the only person in the room. When you are talking to them, ensure you are using active listening to provoke deeper understanding.

Phrases like “what I’m hearing you say is”makes them feel encouraged and engaged, as well as ensuring you really do hear what is being communicated to you. TUNE IN: We are naturally wired to empathise yet so often we spend our time with our family, in a shared physical environment but barely connect beyond the topic at hand, especially if we are busy with chores or dealing with long ‘to-do’ lists and family routines. Take an active focus on connecting with the feelings and emotions of those around you at home with a more committed approach to imagining how they feel. LEAN FORWARD: Remembering that most of our communication is non-verbal, be conscious of using your body language to promote mutual connection. Lean inward and ensure your body language is open, with uncrossed arms and that your eye contact remains focused.

Mimi Nicklin (www.empathyeverywhere.com) is a globally recognised millennial thought-leader, host of the Top 5 ranked The Empathy for Breakfast Show podcast. She is also an internationally bestselling author of the book Softening the Edge.

STORYTELLING TO GROW EMPATHY

Storytelling has been powerful throughout modern civilization; we have been sharing and learning through this medium for as long as we can record. From drawings on cave walls to the first religious texts and the first children’s tales in books for children in the 1740’s, we have always instinctively known that stories positively impact society.

Telling our children stories allows them to rapidly understand people’s emotions and realities, bringing the brains of a generation of our children together. The power of storytelling in building our humanity and society means that it shouldn’t be confined to a prebedtime routine alone. Stories have the power to create deep childhood empathy by:

Allowing children to imagine how another sees the world by feeling as the character does.

Fostering children’s understanding of pro-social behaviours and our ability as humans to work together as part of a group.

Breaking down bias and fostering inclusivity.