Education begins at home

Families Education EDUCATION BEGINS AT HOME By John and Kyle Hattie

What can parents and carers do to ensure their children, of all ages, develop great learning habits which will help them achieve their maximum potential in school and in life? It all starts with talking - and lots of it.

The early years

From the outset, parents are babies’ most important people. Babies discover that the noises they make get reactions so they coo, babble and start forming words to provoke smiles, responses and love. Rapid learners, their early language skills speed up with high levels of adult feedback. There can never be a more critical time for communication by parents than the formative years. Exposure to words matters so much: the more the better.

Some parents talk to their dog more than their baby and this is damaging. By the time children start school, some may have heard thirty million more spoken words than others – not different words, of course, just more conversation. If they don’t hear words, they can’t learn them; it’s a simple as that.

‘Why?’ matters

At the age of 2 or 3, the inevitable ‘why’ questions begin. Our children are trying to make sense of the amazing world around them. Imagine not getting answers to questions that are vital for our understanding of how the world works! The confusion that follows can lead to a fear of new ideas or new challenges; and consequently a reluctance to form relationships with others. Enjoy the ‘why’ questions and see them as incredible opportunities to advance your child’s understanding of their world.

By the time they start school, teachers can really tell which children have been read to and talked to at home. Those who arrive with an already sparkling vocabulary, curiosity and a willingness to learn have a massive advantage that affects their ability to communicate, read and write all the way through primary school.

Feelings as well as facts

Once in the classroom, children typically move from ‘why’ to ‘what’ questions, as schools champion those who know the right answers and can recite reams of facts. Parents can still actively encourage ‘why’ questions at home. Do not ask them the vague ‘What did you do at school today?’ Ask open questions like which was their favourite lesson and why, what they found tricky and how they might find solutions. Have a discussion about solving problems, reacting to mistakes and trying new ideas. This approach helps children find clarity when they’re struggling, shows your willingness to listen and demonstrates the value of talking things through.

The wider world

During and in the run up to adolescence, children tend to prefer being with their friends than family members. They form strong bonds with their peers as they direct their gaze outside the home. In this phase parents need to be attuned to the nature of their friendships and reputations. Watch out for signs of children becoming lonely, inward looking or over-infatuated with one close friend, which can be problematic. Find ways to know their friends without being intrusive. Create opportunities for them to talk with you about their thoughts, aspirations and feelings.

A key reason for copious communication is to teach our children about risk and about when and how to say ‘no.’ This may include them saying ‘no’ to you. How you react is critical to how they navigate their relationships. Today’s world offers so many temptations, risks and dangers. Talk to them about how to evaluate and check information, how to stay safe on the web, on social media and with strangers (and closer contacts).

Even when we become parents of adults and grandchildren, communication is the essence of all relations. Start early – how do you want to be talked to, how good are you at listening, can you stand in the shoes of others and understand their thinking and reasoning? Your child will likely mirror your answers to these questions and become successful communicators with you, their friends and others.

John Hattie is a renowned education expert and his son Kyle is a primary school teacher. Their acclaimed book 10 Steps To Develop Great Learners (Routledge, rrp £14.99) is full of ideas to help parents maximise their child’s full potential.

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