December 2024: Turn It Over. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA)

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December 2024

Columns First 90 Days: Last Day in FA. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 Art, News, & Clues . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2 Qualification: A New Identity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3 No Matter What: Out of Touch. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16 Lighten Up: A Vision for You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17 Notable & Quotable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17

Features I Give Up. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 Spiritual Bank Account. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Distant But Close. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10 A Journey to Freedom. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12 The Opposite of Addiction. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14

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Credits Front Cover Art: Sandi D., ME Back Cover Art: Robin M., NY Graphic Design: Tickled Plum

Share your story & artwork If you have 90 days of continuous abstinence in FA, Connection invites you to share your experience, strength, and hope with us. E-mail submissions to articles@foodaddicts.org or art@foodaddicts.org

Glossary of Terms FA: Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous AA: Alcoholics Anonymous AWOL: A Way of Life, a study of the Twelve Steps Big Book: Alcoholics Anonymous 1 Stone = 14 pounds 1 Kilo = approx. 2.2 pounds Copyright © 2024 Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous 400 W. Cummings Park, Suite 1700 Woburn, MA 01801-6572

First 90 Days

Last Day in FA

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he neurologist called and said my 17- With medication and a proper lifestyle, she year-old daughter’s MRI scans were lives the same life she would have without consistent with multiple sclerosis MS. If I had allowed my grief to push me away (MS). After weeks of going to several doctors from FA, my daughter would have been fine, for an explanation of her symptoms, the final and I would have been killing myself with diagnosis was my worst fear come true. I re- food. ceived this call on day 22 of my abstinence in Before joining FA, I thought I suffered from Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous. As many health conditions directly related to the I packed my food to food I ate: carpal tuntake to the hospital, I Who cares if I’m abstinent from nel, alopecia, IBS, and told myself it would pre-diabetic A1C be my last day in the flour, sugar, and quantities if my levels. On the outprogram. Who cares side, I had everything if I’m abstinent from daughter has to live with this dis- I wanted: a successful flour, sugar, and career and a great ease for the rest of her life? quantities if my family. But on the indaughter has to live side, I was deterioratwith this disease for the rest of her life? I called ing because I could not get control of my my sponsor to commit my food, but I had no eating. For years before FA, I would wake up intention of telling her I was leaving the pro- every morning making vows about my food. gram. Yet somehow, by some supernatural I’d only eat this many calories. I wouldn’t eat miracle, I ate the abstinent food I had com- past this time at night. I’d go this many hours mitted—no more and no less. between meals, I’d only take three bites of this The next day, I called my sponsor and com- flour-sugar product. And every day I would mitted my food again, and I was abstinent fail. that day, too. I now know that my Higher One day I got a call from an old friend who Power gave me the willingness to stay absti- was in recovery from drug addiction, and nent. Today, my daughter is perfectly fine. when she described the struggles that had Connection

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Art, News, & Clues caused her to use, I realized I could identify with everything she said. The way she used drugs to cope with life, I was using food to do the same. So, I proceeded to Google “support group for food addiction” and FA was the first website to pop up. As soon as I read the 20 questions, I knew I was a food addict.

After trying everything possible for many years to gain control of my eating, I quickly discovered that FA was my only solution.

Having my daughter reclaim her life while living with MS was the first miracle I experienced in the program. It taught me that when I put my recovery first, I permit God to take care of everything else. And this is why I stay in the program. Every day I am abstinent, I experience miracles, big and small, that prove my Higher Power is with me, doing for me and my family what I cannot do for myself.

When I put my recovery first, my mind is clear and my heart is at peace. I don’t panic when things go wrong. I simply ask my Higher Power to get me through it, like when I got through my daughter’s diagnosis. I call other fellows and ask them to share their experience, strength, and hope. When I’m struggling with emotions I can’t quite identify, I use the tools of writing and gratitude to help remind me of all the miracles I experience amid difficulties. And no matter what I face daily, I abstain from flour and sugar and eat three weighed and measured meals.

Lyneè U., Illinois, US

A crossword a day keeps negativity away

1. little 2. unmanageable 3. contempt 4. surgery 5. attraction 6. nightmare 7. property 8. vision 9. welfare 10. connection 11. humility 12. food addict 13. call 14. physician 15. ten 16. grounded 17. desperation 18. powerless 19. spiritual 20. anonymity 21. acceptance

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Connection art, straight from the heart

With a cheerful, grateful greeting, read this at your business meeting!

De-

Qualification

A New Identity

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y life began with personal confusion as a mirror image identical twin. I was born left-handed; my twin brother is right-handed. We were so much alike that even our mother had trouble telling us apart.

We grew up poor, in the deep South, way out in the country. My brother and I quickly grew overweight, like our parents and the rest of the family, devouring second and third helpings of Southern fried everything until there was nothing left.

By the time we entered first grade, we each weighed 100 pounds and had to be fitted into third-grade desks because the first-grade desks were too small. We were constantly teased and taunted with fat-shaming rhymes.

Thankfully, we were both bright students and earned high praise from our teachers, which boosted our poor self-esteem.

As I hit puberty, I shot up to 5 feet, 11 inches tall, trying out for football at 215 pounds. However, that winter, I contracted pneumonia and lost 30 pounds. Suddenly, all the girls started noticing me, saying how much cuter I was than my chubby brother.

For the first time in my life, I had my own identity as the skinny one. Losing weight was Connection

making me popular.

At age 14, I started fasting weekly. I also forced myself to throw up in the bathroom, stole my mother’s laxatives, and gave myself enemas, anything to drive my weight down.

I became bulimic, bingeing and purging in an endless cycle. No one had any idea how I shed the pounds. Yet, my self-esteem was in the toilet. I hated myself and harbored passive thoughts of suicide. My weight bottomed out at 155 pounds. Had it not been for my older cousin’s intervention, I don’t know what I might have done.

She introduced me to a popular psychology book on positive thinking. The depression lifted as I turned to God for comfort and slowly stopped the binge-and-purge cycle of self-abuse, at least for a while.

In high school, I leveled out at 175 pounds and my twin had reduced to 195. We bonded around playing musical instruments and performing duets together in chorus and church. The 20-pound weight difference allowed us to form separate identities. However, the times my twin brother lost weight threw me back into the old secret cycle of bingeing and purging to prevent being mistaken for him. This pattern continued until 3

I found yet another way to control my weight—running. I learned that if I ran 20 miles or more a week, I could (or so it seemed) eat whatever I wanted and not gain weight. This continued after I married and began working as a youth director for our religious denomination. My brother and I parted ways, each moving to opposite sides of the country, where I found a new identity as the hospital chaplain in the Army Reserves.

For the next 25 years, I yo-yo dieted, losing 20 to 30 pounds, sliding up and down the scale, trying every new fad diet that came along, dropping just enough weight to pass the Army’s semi-annual weigh-in, so I could literally “have my cake and eat it, too.” I played this gaining and losing game my entire career as an Army chaplain. Eventually, it took its toll on my health. I wore out the cartilage in my knees carrying all that excess weight. I tore a tendon in my left calf, was diagnosed with deep vein thrombosis (DVT), and threw three blood clots into my lungs. I went on blood thinners for six months and recovered, but I could never run again. I barely made it to my mandatory removal date at age 60.

To celebrate retirement and coming off the Army’s weight control program, I started eating everything in sight. I soon became clinically depressed. I felt lost with no identity or sense of purpose. Within two years I weighed 265 pounds. I could not stop eating.

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I routinely stopped at a popular ice cream fast food shop on the way home, bought a half gallon, and sat with it between my legs while driving, finishing the whole thing by the time I pulled into the driveway. Shamefully, I would hide the empty container in the bottom of the trash bin, cover it up, and hope my wife would not find out.

I developed heart disease, became pre-diabetic, and went on blood pressure and cholesterol medications. I eventually ended up having three heart surgeries in seven years.

Although my father and eldest brother died prematurely of sudden-death heart attacks due to obesity, it did not stop me. It was not until I started bleeding from seven lesions in my colon and rectum that I woke up. A colorectal surgeon informed me he would have to perform a colostomy, hopefully reversible, but not a guarantee. I begged the doctor for an alternative. He recommended a whole food, plant-based diet for seven weeks, which might heal the lesions and prevent use of a colostomy bag. He ordered me to not eat anything with a face or a mother, which meant no dairy, meat, poultry, fish of any kind, as well as no sugar, flour, processed foods, or anything from a can, box, or package. I was told to eat only whole grains, vegetables, fruit, and a small amount of ground seeds.

I followed the plan, lost 25 pounds in seven weeks, and when I returned to the surgeon, he told me that I did not have to undergo December 2024

DEB H., MA

surgery. The lesions had disappeared except for one tiny place which was almost healed.

The doctor informed me that I would have to continue eating this way for the rest of my life or I would wind up right back where I started, and it wouldn’t be pretty. I knew that if I could do it for seven weeks, I could continue to do it for the rest of my life. And I never looked back.

Through divine providence, I had simultaneously stumbled upon a monetized commercial program based on FA the same week of my consultation with the surgeon.

It had similar guidelines as FA, including no sugar, no flour, three weighed and measured meals a day, nothing in between, and no binge foods, which sounded strangely insane. However, the monetized program did not go far enough. I had to go all the way if I was going to live to see 70. Shelling out a hefty annual fee did not motivate me enough to stay out of the food. I needed Connection

more than just a coach and an online support group. I needed what FA offered to keep me abstinent: a personal relationship with my Higher Power, the Twelve Steps, a sponsor to help keep me rigorously honest, three meetings a week, three calls to FA fellows a day, and all the other tools of the program.

Today, I am 71 years old, I weigh 172 pounds, and I no longer need blood pressure medication, statins, or cholesterol-lowering drugs. I am off blood thinners and heart medication. I am no longer pre-diabetic. I had one total knee replacement, but I no longer need another. I have truly found a new identity as a recovering food addict. I have a newfound purpose, to carry the FA message to other food addicts and be of service for the rest of my life in gratitude for the second chance I have been given. This is the only true way I have found to live happy, joyous, and free of food addiction.

Tony C., Connecticut, US

I Give Up

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aying my childhood was dysfunctional is an understatement. As a child, I wasn’t given enough food to eat. Hungry, I would go to my friends’ houses and head straight to the kitchen to raid their cabinets.

Later in middle school, I ate everyone’s lunch off their plates.

My mother was a kleptomaniac who stole food and household items from the stores. My sister and I would block her shopping cart while she stuffed her coat and purse. She was an unfit mother and all nine of us kids were placed in different foster homes throughout our lives. I started using drugs and alcohol at age 13 to escape my life.

I believe my food addiction kicked in at age 40 when I went on an antidepressant. An abusive relationship had just ended, and I couldn’t sleep or work. I gained 20 pounds from the drug, but when I went off it, the weight didn’t come off, so I returned to my pattern of finding another FA meeting and getting another sponsor for a day or two.

Thus, the cycle continued.

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Why did I keep relapsing like that? Maybe it was because I was treating it like a diet, felt like I was being deprived, or fooled myself into thinking that things weren’t that bad.

I was introduced to FA in 2005 through Alcoholics Anonymous. I knew I wanted to lose weight, but I didn’t know if FA’s lifestyle was for me. Although the people in those rooms were thin and sane, I figured I was too laid back to follow the program as it was laid out. There had to be an easier way to lose 20 pounds. I tried my version of an “easier way” by going in and out of FA for 19 years without staying abstinent. I have used so many conniving addict behaviors that go along with food addiction. I have experienced DIANE O., FL every way to toy with my food and lie to myself and my sponsors. Although I had been sober for many years and knew that Twelve-Step programs could work, this food thing had me in its grip.

I was 50 pounds overweight and allowed myself to be in abusive relationships. I finally accepted that this disease was just as dangerous as cocaine.

December 2024

I jumped on a virtual FA meeting and got a sponsor. After discussing my home situation, she recommended that I not travel to my hometown for Christmas, and I wasn’t happy about that suggestion. I normally would have rejected her advice.

The next morning when I called her, a miracle happened. I cried out that I was not going home for the holidays. I had done it a dozen times before, and traveling didn’t work when I was trying to get abstinent. I knew in my heart of hearts that I had to surrender my will.

I had to follow the suggestions. I had to be willing to do whatever my sponsor suggested if I was going to get different results in my life.

I always wanted to be abstinent more than I wanted to be overweight, but I had never been willing to do the necessary work.

Being abstinent is sometimes very hard. As a former overeater, I get hungry after breakfast. What do I do now? Use the tools. These tools have been laid at my feet. I get to do them every day, as well as pick up that thousand-pound phone. I stay busy between meals, which helps a lot. Most importantly, I make sure all my meals are planned, weighed, and measured in advance.

I am working FA the way it is designed. FA gives me a deeper level of sobriety, and my life is changing in ways I could never imagine. I never realized that FA was the solution to so much more that I’ve been looking for in my life.

Faith H., South Carolina, US Connection

Twelve Steps 1. We admitted we were powerless over food – that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to food addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Adapted with permission from Alcoholics Anonymous7

Spiritual Bank Account

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here’s a page in Twenty-Four Hours a Day that suggests making regular deposits into our spiritual bank account so when we are in need, there is an abundant supply from which to withdraw.

I diligently use my tools and regularly deposit gratitude into my Higher Power bank, so my Higher Power gives me spiritual help when I’m in need. It’s sort of the opposite of overdraft protection.

I used to volunteer at a local theater. I hadn’t volunteered for a year since moving 40 miles away, but the schedule for the new season still arrived by email. In the most recent list of performances and dates, I saw the name of an old friend who is a classical guitarist. Surprised and intrigued because his name was connected to a blues band, I

thought, “This is an opportunity to say hello to Mark and see what he is doing.” So, I volunteered for the night of the concert.

This decision was driven by self-centeredness–I was in it for me; it was not about helping the theater.

Though I didn’t expect outstretched arms and a brass band when I got to the theater, I was still surprised that the other volunteers were somewhat standoffish, and the manager ignored me completely as he walked to the concession counter to converse with others. I fought to ignore the blow to my self-esteem. The sweets behind the glass at the concession stand momentarily caught my interest, but I turned my attention to my responsibilities as an usher.

The strength to ignore the sweets and focus

NANCY W., TX

on my role was one of those automatic payments from my spiritual bank account.

When the time came for my friend to appear on stage, he didn’t. A different man did—a man with the same name as my friend. I had misinterpreted the billing. This performer was a solo act who played different guitar styles and put them in a historical context.

Between his and the next act, I experienced my Higher Power bank handing me another spiritual withdrawal in the form of a new awareness. It occurred to me that the manager, who happens to be obese, might struggle with issues like my own. It was no longer about me. I was able to approach the manager with a positive, kind attitude. We spoke briefly and shared a good conversation about Mark’s talent.

Since “my” Mark was not there, I no longer had a reason to be at the theater, and the music wasn’t my favorite. I thought about leaving, but once again, my recovery bank kicked in. I accepted my volunteer responsibilities, which included picking up the trash at the end of the evening after the patrons left.

As I eased into my seat next to the wall, I made my Higher Power my “date.” I leaned into the shoulder of my Higher Power’s strength and experienced the rest of the concert warmed by companionship in love, joy, and peace.

Rachel S., Massachusetts, US Connection

Twelve Traditions 1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on FA unity.

2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

3. The only requirement for FA membership is a desire to stop eating addictively.

4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or FA as a whole.

5. Each group has but one primary purpose – to carry its message to the food addict who still suffers.

6. An FA group ought never endorse, finance or lend the FA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

7. Every FA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

8. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

9. FA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

10. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues, hence the FA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

Adapted with permission from Alcoholics Anonymous 9

Distant But Close

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he trees are covered with snow outside my cabin window. It’s beautiful.

It’s peaceful. It’s quiet. It’s also isolated. My husband and I live miles from the nearest town at the top of a snow-capped, forested mountain. It’s what I needed to find rest after living in Southern California for most of my life, with its millions of distractions coming from every direction and fastfood chain restaurants on every corner.

To get here, to this place of rest and peace, I had to leave my FA community behind. In California, I had a variety of meetings to choose from. I could go just about any day of the week. FA meetings were at my church and several church friends were going through this journey with me. It was at those meetings that I learned what it meant to be a food addict and how to use the tools to live an abstinent life. I learned to have sobriety around food so that being around others didn’t cause me to have major cravings or worse. During that time, I lost 125 pounds (which was half my body weight), came back to life, and went back to school to get my registered nursing credentials at 57 years old.

FA changed my life. Sadly, I didn’t realize just how much all of it meant to me until I moved. FA gave me the strength to accept 10

the things I couldn’t change and courage to change what I could, to paraphrase the serenity prayer. So, when I put that into practice and changed what I could, it included moving away from the convenience of big city life to the small community of Kalispell, Montana. There are conveniences here, but I have to drive at least 15 miles to reach them. What I don’t have is the convenience of an FA family. I can make phone calls, but it’s not the same.

After a few years of being in Montana, I have found strength from FA, my Higher Power, and my family to maintain my abstinence. The sayings I heard at FA meetings and read in the literature still come to mind and help me keep abstinent. Doing things one step at a time, one ounce at a time, one meal at a time, and one breath at a time are part of my life. Living just for today has helped me tackle major projects. When tempted to eat off my food plan, saying “It’s not my food” has kept me from straying.

But mostly, I’ve come to realize that I’m not alone, even though I don’t have my FA fellowship close by. My Higher Power is strengthening me daily on this journey.

When I truly need it, someone reaches out to me and lets me know that I’m not alone.

It’s wonderful to be a part of an FA comDecember 2024

JODI J., NC

munity, which is much larger than I imagined when I was in Southern California. I may not be able to hug a fellow member in person, but I know they are there, reaching out to me and I to them, from around the world, thanks to modern technology and Connection

my Higher Power. I’m here to stay and thankful that even though I live in the woods, I’m isolated but not alone. Thank you, FA, for allowing my life to change for the better and staying with me through it all.

Clarice T., Montana, US 11

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A Journey to Freedom

n 2020, I found myself weighed down by the burden of obesity, tipping the scales at 229 pounds. My issue wasn’t just about carrying excess weight—it was about carrying decades of anxieties, isolation, and misery.

I had spent over 30 years defined by my struggles with food, and it was time for a change.

My journey towards freedom began when I made the courageous decision to seek help.

I joined with modest goals in mind: drop a dress size, fit into my clothes comfortably, and perhaps find a hint of contentment. Little did I know that, within just six months, I would experience a weight-loss transformation that seemed unimaginable. Shedding 75 pounds and three dress sizes, I rediscovered parts of myself that had been hidden beneath layers of self-doubt and excess weight. Feeling my hip bones again, I felt a sense of homecoming in my body that I hadn’t felt since my youth. It was truly transformative.

One of the most astonishing aspects of my journey is not just the weight loss itself, but the fact that I have maintained it for three years. This accomplishment felt almost miraculous considering my history of failed diets and the endless cycle of gaining back what I had lost. Unlike previous attempts, this wasn’t just about shedding pounds; it was also about reclaiming my life and rediscover12

ing my sense of self-worth.

My path to recovery was bolstered by a deepening spiritual practice rooted in my experiences with Alcoholics Anonymous.

Amid the challenges of the Covid lockdown, surrounded by stockpiled food and battling my sugar addiction, I had a profound realization about the extent of my obsession with food. It was during this time that I decided to fully commit to FA. Initially hesitant and shy, I mustered the courage to attend FA virtual meetings. Each meeting became a stepping stone towards embracing this new approach to food and finding joy in conscious eating. With each planned meal and the support of a dedicated sponsor, I confronted my fears and discovered a newfound sense of control over my eating habits. The joy I found in eating consciously far outweighed the temporary allure of mindless indulgence.

The FA community became my lifeline, a source of companionship, encouragement, and invaluable advice. Acknowledging every victory, confronting doubts, and receiving unwavering support from fellow FA members, I learned to navigate this journey one day at a time. Every morning, I leaned on my faith, praying for the strength to overcome challenges. Each triumph not only demonDecember 2024

strated my personal resilience but also affirmed my belief in a higher power and my true purpose in life.

One of my biggest challenges in recovery has been maintaining positive and harmonious relationships while upholding my newfound principles and boundaries. I make sincere efforts to get along with everyone, avoiding unnecessary conflicts or hostilities.

Recently, I faced a situation where my core values were compromised, and I made the difficult decision to set a firm boundary to preserve my integrity. This was a pivotal moment in my journey toward self-discovery and personal growth.

My sponsor has been a steadfast presence throughout my 3.5-year journey, marking milestones, listening to my doubts, and providing unwavering encouragement. The wisdom shared by the FA community has served as a beacon of hope and understanding, reminding me that I am not alone in this struggle.

In my recovery, I’ve discovered the significance of pausing, reflecting, and seeking moments of profound peace amidst life’s chaos.

I now uphold a calm and tranquil demeanor, even amid the hustle and noise of daily challenges. During the quiet early mornings, while the household sleeps, I find solace and inner peace, a testament to the transformative impact of this journey. Over the past three years, I have faced significant challenges, including a breast cancer diagnosis, Connection

surgery and treatment, relocation, a corporate takeover, retirement, and my mother experiencing a stroke and developing dementia. Throughout it all, I remained committed to abstinence, unwavering in my determination to stay on course.

In FA, I’ve embraced practical tools that support my progress and help me maintain abstinence. Staying connected with supportive members and reaching out regularly for encouragement and accountability has been instrumental. Attending FA meetings, whether in-person or online, has allowed me to gain valuable insights, share experiences, and feel part of a supportive community. I commit wholeheartedly to staying abstinent from triggering binge foods, utilizing coping mechanisms like making calls, pausing, and praying during tough moments to prevent relapse.

For me, this journey isn’t just a battle against food addiction—it’s a profound journey towards freedom and self-discovery. Armed with the tools and principles of FA, I navigate each day with purpose and resilience. In the company of like-minded individuals who share similar aspirations, I walk towards a future unburdened by the past, celebrating each step towards a healthier, more balanced life. The impact of FA transcends mere weight loss—it’s about reclaiming joy, selfworth, and the confidence to live authentically.

Lindsay B., Sussex, UK 13

The Opposite of Addiction

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t my first meeting of FA, I asked been eating addictively while working at a member if I needed to be a cer- home during the pandemic. When I fitain amount overweight to ben- nally began this program with a sponsor efit from the program. They said to stick and a food plan, the weight fell off, five around, and promised that if I was indeed pounds a month for nine months. a food addict, I would hear my story. Although I am grateful I lost all my Within a week, I did hear a member qual- weight, it is the fellowship that has susify about their lifetained me. Like time of self-loathing I met people from my local area many others in FA, I and fear. I could rebegan my recovery late to that. Despite who attend in-person meetings. in videoconference over three decades meetings. I met my of recovery in other I was impressed with the food first FA friend in a Twelve-Step provideoconference neutrality demonstrated grams for food, I was meeting and have a near my highest strong sense of beat the hotel-catered meals. weight. There were longing to the first food items I “had” to FA group I athave at certain times of the day, and I ob- tended. I do service at that group because sessively stockpiled these items. Even the members continue to be so kind and worse, I was terrified I could not pass the generous with their support. My awareness swim test to maintain my lifeguard certifi- of the importance of fellowship grew after cation. attending a number of in-person fellowAfter that first meeting, I was still hesi- ship events. Each event was very special to tant about joining. While I thought I me and my recovery. could give up sugar products, I did not At the FA Fellowship Convention in think I could give up flour. My FA friend Arizona, I was gifted a place to stay by a advised me to start with no sugar and soon member and had an amazing experience after I stopped eating flour. I even got rid eating abstinently with hundreds of felof the boxes and bags of organic food I had lows at the convention. I met many of the 14

December 2024

people I had only seen in videoconference squares. I learned about the whole variety of options other than just qualifications for meetings. I met people from my local area who attend in-person meetings. I was impressed with the food neutrality demonstrated at the hotel-catered meals.

The thing that amazed me the most was seeing so many people in right-sized bodies. I went, knowing no one, and I departed with a grateful heart and new friends.

At another fellowship event, I saw my first FA friend, my FA sponsor, and my first FA sponsee standing in front of the meeting hall. My heart leapt for joy to hug and see these folks in person. No sooner had I hugged each of them, I turned around and saw my first sponsor, the woman to whom I talked daily for nine months and who helped me get abstinent. I had never met her, or most of the 200 people who registered for this Connection

special event, in person. I got to spend the entire day with my sponsor, and at lunch, we met two other fellows who joined us to walk a labyrinth with beautiful views. I was able to do service by teaching a yoga session. Over 20 beautiful yogis and yoginis joined me to experience our bodies moving and reflecting on the principles of the program and the gift of the connection of our minds, bodies, and spirits.

I am a firm believer that the opposite of addiction is connection.

Writing about the profound connections I have experienced is a gift of my recovery. I SUSAN D., CA hope everyone in recovery knows that they deserve love, support, a place to dine with other abstinent people, a place to give service, and dear friends, sponsors, and sponsees to help them maintain abstinence one day at a time.

Lori J., California, US 15

No Matter What

Out of Touch

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aking outreach calls was not AWOL. I couldn’t call my sponsor from part of my daily routine during home or take any sponsee calls. Fortunately, my beginning years of FA. I I could receive and send texts from home. was working full-time and felt that I didn’t I let my sponsor and sponsee know what have time to call people I hardly knew. Be- had happened. To maintain contact, I drove sides, I thought, how did talking to strangers into our small town where I could get dehelp me lose weight? Now I see that I was pendable cell coverage. Every morning, using FA as a diet, just like the other weight while it was still dark, I drove into town to loss programs I’d make my outreach used unsuccessfully calls. I would call To maintain contact, before finding FA. I while I made a trip to realized I was missing I drove into our small town the library, grocery out on building relastore, or to pick a tionships that could grandchild up from where I could get support me in dealschool. I discovered ing with everyday redependable cell coverage. that I didn’t like this lationship and life forced isolation. I had issues. Though I was to be intentional weighing and measuring my food, I was not about my calls due to the inconvenience of using the tools of our program to make leaving the house to be able to connect. I relifestyle changes and choices. alized how important it is for my recovery We live out in the country and don’t have to reach out to FA fellows on a regular basis. consistent and dependable cell phone serv- Now, instead of dreading making calls, I am ice, so we have a landline to make and re- so grateful for the connections I’m able to ceive phone calls at home. Recently, our make with FA members. These relationphone service and internet were totally ships are a necessary part of my daily recovknocked out for 25 days! I was unable to at- ery. tend FA videoconference meetings or my Beth V., Michigan, US 16

December 2024

Lighten Up

SUSAN M., NY

O

A Vision for You

nce again, I found myself playing that old, familiar game, “Has Anyone Seen My Reading Glasses?” With pairs on my nightstand, work desk, in my purse, on my “quiet time” chair, and in the car, you’d think my chances were pretty good at winning. Think again.

My clever husband, watching closely, keenly assessed the situation and jumped

in. “Here! Take mine.” And he handed me the 2.0s I’d given him recently upon graduating to 2.5 strength. “Aw, thanks, honey,” I said, “but they’re too low power for me.

That’s why I gave them to you.” Sharp as ever, he replied, “Of course they are. You’ve always been a Higher Power girl, haven’t you?”

Angie R., New York, US

Notable & Quotable

T

hank you for all your N&Q submissions. We are busy compiling them for future issues.

Our next N&Q prompt: We read the promises at the end of every meeting. Which of the promises have Connection

come true for you in FA? Please email your short response, between one and three sentences, using the subject line N&Q to articles@foodaddicts.org.

Please include the question to which you are responding.

17

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.