April 2023: One Among Many. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA)

FA Stories of Recovery from Food Addiction

One Among Many

April 2023 $2.50

April 2023

Columns Qualification: A Better Way. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 First 90 Days: Point of No Return. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 No Matter What: Not Something I Ate. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15 Lighten Up: Supportive Family. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

Features A Deeper Understanding. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Step By Step. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8 Stumbling Block. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Surrender. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13

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Credits Cover Art: Anna B., NM Graphic Design: Tickled Plum

Share your story & artwork If you have 90 days of continuous abstinence in FA, connection invites you to share your experience, strength, and hope with us. E-mail submissions to articles@foodaddicts.org or art@foodaddicts.org

Glossary of Terms FA: Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous AA: Alcoholics Anonymous AWOL: A Way of Life, a study of the Twelve Steps Big Book: Alcoholics Anonymous 1 Stone = 14 pounds 1 Kilo = approx. 2.2 pounds Copyright © 2023 Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous 400 W. Cummings Park, Suite 1700 Woburn, MA 01801-6572

Qualification

A Better Way

F

ear, doubt, and insecurity. If someone had only told me that was what I struggled to cope with when I was growing up and into young adulthood, it would have saved me a lot of pain. As far back as I can remember, I had anxiety issues. I was raised in a working-class home with three sisters. My parents took us to church each Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday evening, and whenever there were events. Don’t get me wrong; I love the church to this day, but it didn’t cure my fear, doubt, and insecurity.

It was not until I came to FA that I found my cure.

As the oldest daughter of four, I don’t remember very much except for things revolving around food. When I was two or three, we took a trip from our home in Ontario, Canada down to Tennessee to visit family. My only memories are of a large sugar product and dinosaurs. In grade three, I threw up after stuffing myself with treats at a bazaar. My mom, seeing I was nauseated, had me go to the car and wait it out. I threw up in a bag in the car, but strangely, I still wanted more food even though my stomach was upset. Food alconnection

ways got my attention.

Around age 10 or 11, I struggled with upsetting emotions over switching to a new school and getting bullied a lot in grade six, but I also went through sexual abuse. I did not know how to cope with it all alone, and I did not know how to talk about it, so I stuffed those feelings down with food.

When I got teased in grade eight for being chubby, I went to our family doctor.

He gave me a calorie counting booklet and I started tracking my calories. That yellow booklet also listed the calories burned by different activities, so I started keeping a diary that included the calories I ate and the calories I burned. I lost some weight yet remained on the plump side.

I believe that, as a confused and hurting teenage girl, I was coping by trying to control my environment and my persona. I was great at people-pleasing, though I had been taught the value of being a God-pleaser rather than a people-pleaser. I thought I was doing what everyone wanted, and I didn’t realize that it was fear, doubt, and insecurity driving me to food—or anything—for relief.

My doctor gave me diet pills when I was 1

17. These amphetamines, or speed, gave stint on a particular commercial diet and a me great control and I lost a lot of weight. personal trainer got me down from almost I loved the feeling of power I had when I 260 pounds to just under 200. During that was on them, but I am glad it was short- time, I met a wonderful, kind man who belived, as a family friend soon realized what came my husband. Though I loved him I was taking and said something. dearly, I had not yet learned how to deal I’m ashamed to say that I stole money with my fear, doubt, and insecurity. I from my mom’s purse or my dad’s dresser thought I could cope by controlling everyto get junk food from the corner store. I one and everything around me. I chuckle also snuck down to the basement to eat now when I think back on all the argubaked goods from ments we had over containers in the going out to eat. Of I needed my fellows, freezer that were supcourse, I wanted to posed to be kept for and my budget-conthe tools of FA, and special holidays. This scious hubby did not. behavior became a Neither of us underthis spiritual program habit that fed my adstood the other and I to truly live. diction to flour and had so much resentsugar. ment towards him.

Later, as a single young woman in my thir- How did I cope? By going out to eat with ties longing for affirmation, I got addicted friends from work. to explicit conversations in online chat When my son came along, there were rooms, and I had a few foolish and danger- many opportunities to meet up with ous meet-ups. Thank you God, I was able friends who had children. Mall food courts, to get good counseling and stopped. Yet fast food playlands, and drive-throughs beeven now I keep my online social media to came the norm. The other routine was late a minimum. night eating. After my son went to bed, All through my thirties and forties I went even as his bedtime got later, I found ways on diets. I tried commercial diets a few to be alone with the flour and sugar prodtimes, gym memberships, binge eating dis- ucts I was hiding from my family. order clinics, counseling, and therapy. All In 2011, at 307 pounds, I noticed a that happened was a roller coaster of yo-yo woman I knew from work losing a bunch dieting. However, a somewhat successful of weight, and she told me about FA. I 2

April 2023

went to a meeting with her and found a sponsor right away. I would love to say it has been “happily ever after,” but I was focused mostly on weight loss at that time, and I got in my own way by customizing how I did the program.

I had abstinence for over a year but I was not being honest, open-minded, or willing. After a few rocky years of struggle, even though I had lost 125 pounds, I left in a huff.

During the four years I was out of FA, I gained almost 200 pounds. My world became smaller as I became larger. My 5-foot, 2-inch frame had many aches and pains as I struggled to keep up with life. Doing the bare minimum, I started to say no to school events and often arranged for my son to go to things with my husband or another family. I hardly had any friends and my relationship with my husband was at an all-time low. I just kept stuffing down my connection

feelings with junk food I didn’t even want to eat. Many days, I went through two or three drive-through restaurants and had food hidden around the house.

MEREDITH M., ME

I stopped taking care of myself and my appearance. I avoided doctors and ended up with severe sleep apnea. I also had terrible edema in my ankles and legs. I’m sure I 3

Twelve Traditions was a breath away from diabetes, stroke, or heart failure. Depression and anxiety went hand-in-hand with my food addiction. It was nothing to stay up at night eating by myself until 2:00 a.m. I was hurting myself with food, and I did not care. I couldn’t stop. Then came a pandemic in 2020. I was content to isolate myself in lockdown due to Covid. My world was so small; I was already in my own lockdown.

In October 2020, one of my sisters mentioned that she was thinking of starting FA. I am so thankful, because that became the impetus that got me back into recovery.

My addict brain had kept me in a fog of “stinking thinking,” but suddenly there was hope. I went to the FA website and discovered that there were FA videoconference gatherings. Going to those meetings was a breath of fresh air. I expected humiliation, but everyone was warm and friendly. I knew then that my facade of control was not helping me. I needed my fellows, the tools of FA, and this spiritual program to truly live. Any walls of resentment melted as I surrendered with new clarity to the reality that my life was unmanageable, and I was powerless over food. Now, because of this program, my family life is better and I have found a deeper connection with my Higher Power. I now have a better way to cope with life.

Christine P., Ontario, Canada 4

1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on FA unity.

2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

3. The only requirement for FA membership is a desire to stop eating addictively.

4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or FA as a whole.

5. Each group has but one primary purpose – to carry its message to the food addict who still suffers.

6. An FA group ought never endorse, finance or lend the FA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

7. Every FA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

8. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

9. FA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

10. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues, hence the FA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

Adapted with permission from Alcoholics Anonymous April 2023

First 90 Days

Point of No Return

D

uring a morning conversation with my sponsor, she asked in trepidation if I had broken my abstinence. It was during the holidays, and a couple of her sponsees were struggling.

I assured her that I was gratefully abstinent and that all was well. I shared that I felt I had crossed the point of no return, that I had more to lose by breaking than I had to gain by returning to my addiction. Although I am acutely aware that we are all one bite away from breaking at any moment, I felt I had reached the point in the program when the benefits far outweighed the delights of flour, sugar, and quantities.

When did the point of no return happen in this food addict’s life? I believe my journey began by making the tools a habit: getting connection

on my knees in the morning, having quiet time, eating committed and measured meals, making outreach calls, attending three meetings a week, reading literature, writing, and getting on my knees at night. I got closer to the noturning-back point when I hit the 90 days of abstinence milestone. At that juncture, I was able to lead and qualify at meetings, take on service positions, and speak during business meetings. I became more accountable to my sponsor, my fellows, and myself. I had more to lose if I broke at this stage. I ANNA B., NM would risk letting others down and losing all of my progress.

At this point, I also began to see God’s 99 percent in conjunction with my meager one percent. I began to make a life out of my new way of eating and living. The FA way became a habit, no longer drudgery or a life 5

Twelve Steps sentence. It became a bridge to my true identity, to self-discipline, and to self-respect. At the point of no return, my adult voice grew louder than my immature addiction voice. I thought about the consequences of breaking and no longer romanticized my old way of eating and abusing food. I started counting the costs if I ate. I thought about who I would harm by breaking, especially myself.

I no longer mourned the foods I could never eat again; I accepted that my brain does not function well on flour, sugar, or quantities.

My brain and my life thrive when I make self-care the norm rather than the exception.

It is difficult to ascertain when I stepped over the threshold of that point of no return, but if I manage to get there, the journey forward is a rosy one. There is hope and serenity, and when life does not afford me that serenity or hope, I am quick to evaluate my life, actions, and relationships. I am quick to write down my emotions, to consider the facts, to bounce ideas off of my sponsor, and to share my musings and troubles with another fellow.

Peace and right actions feel normal to me now. Self-control and mature behavior feel appropriate. That is the joy of the point of no return; that acceptance brought me unfathomable benefits—more than any flour or sugar product ever could provide.

Sheryn N., California, US 6

1. We admitted we were powerless over food – that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to food addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

April 2023 Adapted with permission from Alcoholics Anonymous

A Deeper Understanding

M

y boyfriend and I went on vacation to Mexico to celebrate his birthday, as well as to enjoy our growing relationship. My primary intention for the exciting experience was to remain abstinent. I truly believe that everything falls into place, according to God’s will, when I’m abstinent.

The all-inclusive resort had plenty of restaurants as well as a buffet that had everything I needed to stay abstinent.

The challenge was that my boyfriend wanted to explore the different restaurants, but I needed to dine where there were simple, abstinent meals. I tapped into the courage to advocate for myself while being mindful of his needs. I asked God for help, and it became clear that for the remainder of the trip, I would have the most peace of mind eating at the buffet. We ate two meals together each day but chose to eat dinner separately because it met both of our needs better. We met up after dinner and enjoyed our time together even more. It felt like my Higher Power took over the entire trip in a beautiful, magical way when my priority was to stay abstinent.

I really felt supported by my boyfriend one day when we were leaving the resort connection

for an excursion. He asked me if I had packed my abstinent food. He knew we would be away for a good part of the day and was mindful of my desire to remain abstinent. It occurred to me that when I take care of myself, God takes care of everything else.

This trip was a great turning point in our relationship. We learned a lot about each other, enjoyed each other’s company, and came to a deeper understanding of one another. I discovered that he loves to work out, so we went to the gym and went running, even while on vacation. To be honest, I wondered why we had to exercise while on vacation, but I decided to be a team player. I’m sure he wondered why I had to eat abstinently while on vacation, but he respected it and even advocated for it. There appeared to be an unspoken understanding between us and the importance of our individual ways of life, no matter the circumstances.

Today, my boyfriend has a beautiful respect for my abstinence, and I respect the priority he puts on daily exercise. I’m truly grateful for this understanding between us, thanks to our beautiful experience in Mexico.

Janae M., Georgia, US 7

Step By Step

I

loved going to camp because it was an around mine once. I have since realized I escape from the mean girls at school, and never wanted to be a beginner or spend time I could be with people I loved and who honing my skills. I thought a person was born loved me back. Growing up, I spent most of with a gene that made them good at things. my summers at a camp. The friends I made If you didn’t have it, you didn’t have it. there are still a part of my life, even though Those camp friends typically plan a girls we are now in our forties and scattered all trip every year. I have never been able to join over the country. Although I am grateful for for various reasons. The flight was too expenthe camp experience, I look back and see sive, there was a conflict, or it was a bad time how my food addiction was ever present. As of year. Deep down, I knew I used those older campers and counselors, we would things as excuses. I was scared of living my abtake prepared food from the kitchen at night, stinent life in front of them. I no longer drink. once even eating a young camper’s birthday I don’t sit around eating snack foods. I don’t treat! I felt completely entitled to help myself, like to gossip. And I’m no longer the 200never thinking I was stealing or causing hard- pound friend some of them remember. ship to the kitchen staff.

When I was asked to join the group at an I could have spent my time horseback rid- upcoming get together, I realized I had no ing, mountain biking, rock climbing, hiking, excuses. The flight was inexpensive, it was a and more. However, in nine years, I took one great time of year, and I no longer cared what horseback riding lesson, went on one bike anyone thought about my recovery, my ride, climbed one rock, and did zero hiking. body, or my way of living. Luckily, what I I hated being uncomfortable, which in- found when I got there was a large group of cluded being red-faced, hot, and sweaty. I people with different interests. Some people stuck to canoeing and swimming because I wanted to drink, some to sleep, others was good at it, and I could always take a dip wanted spa treatments, and some wanted to in the water. Rock climbing meant wearing be active. Like attracts like, and I found peoa harness that pinched my thighs. I saw that ple who practiced healthy living. When a the harness belt would wrap around the group said they wanted to wake up early the other girls’ waists multiple times, but I was al- next morning to hike the local mountain, I ways embarrased of how I could only get it jumped at the chance. I had never done it, 8

April 2023

and it sounded like a great way to start the day.

As I started hiking, I kept thanking God. I was thin, and while I’m hardly an athlete, I was not out of breath, gasping for air, or rubbing my chafed thighs. Still, it was hard. This was not a stroll in the woods. It was a full-fledged climb! Just as we live our program every day, I realized the way to make the climb simple was to focus on the next stone, the next foot hold, the next step, and the next resting place. I would become overwhelmed and tired, thinking of how much farther I had to go if I looked all the way up. I asked for help. When I needed to stop, I asked for a break, and when others needed to stop, I gladly sat and relaxed with them.

When we got to the top, we took pictures, elated by what we had accomplished. I thanked God over and over again. I hadn’t chosen to drink by the pool. I didn’t let my feelings get hurt and eat over them. I didn’t say I was too tired or that it was a dumb idea. connection

I wasn’t the slowest person. I did it! I didn’t back out. I kept up and enjoyed myself.

What I wasn’t prepared for was how hard the trek back down would be. I used the same principles to guide me. If I looked all the way down, I would lose my balance and my fear of heights would kick in. If I just kept looking a few feet in front of me, I could take it one step at a time. Just like life! If I look at all my problems or the state of the world, I can quickly be overwhelmed.

If I stay in the day and ask God for help, I can see the path through it.

I am grateful I ROBYN M., NY have been able to have many second chances at life, thanks to FA. I can’t go back in time and change who I was as a camper, but I can change who I am now. I tried something new. It was hard and I loved every minute of it. God showed me I could take the same concept we talk about every day—do the next right action, one day at a time, or literally, one step at a time.

Grace V., Iowa, US 9

Stumbling Block

W

hen I came into FA 12 years read other portions but shied away from the ago, I was petrified of being at Twelve Traditions because the part of Trathe front of the room. I was dition Six that reads “lest problems of not comfortable being a public speaker, not money, property, and prestige divert us just because of my weight, but because I had from our primary purpose” seemed like a been labeled a remecruel tongue twister. dial reader since first In my first AWOL, I became more comfortable I struggled to be truly grade. Every time we read out loud from present because I was at the front of the room, our textbooks in counting paragraphs class, I was overcome in our readings, trynot so much because by a wave of fear. The ing to determine more nervous I got, which one I would be of the weight loss, the worse I seemed to called on to read. I do. It was a cruel irony would often practice but because I felt safe that I could read reading my parasilently but my graph instead of lisamong my fellows tongue would grow tening to those and in that room. thick and my mind reading before me. It would process slowly would really throw when asked to read me off if I counted out loud. wrong or if someone had to skip their turn, When FA encouraged those of us without causing me to read some unrehearsed por90 days of abstinence to come to the front tion of the book. of the room to read, I was not so inclined. With a little more time, I was reading the My meeting was small, and I couldn’t hide entire FA meeting format and much of the from the task. Initially, I only volunteered to AWOL material out loud. I became more read the tools, except for the tool of comfortable at the front of the room, not so anonymity because pronouncing that word much because of the weight loss, but beintimidated me. With time, I was willing to cause I felt safe among my fellows and in 10

April 2023

that room. As I got closer to being able to share in a meeting and, heaven forbid, give my qualification, my sponsor assured me it would be fine. No one knew my story better than me. I am an expert on everything I would say because only I knew what it was like for me before FA, my journey, and what it was like for me now.

I carried those words of wisdom to my job. I had always been nervous about delivering the results of my work. I was not only afraid of being disliked when I had to report less than favorable results, but I also feared being stared at and judged for my appearance and my speech. Again, the more nervous I’d get, the worse I seemed to do.

Once I was in FA for a while, I realized no one knew my work the way I did. I was the most qualified person to share the results of my work and that brought me comfort.

Now, one of the main parts of my job is to go to conferences and present on technical topics related to my industry. Being in a size 6 instead of a size 36 makes standing in front connection

of the crowd easier. Now I know it’s okay if I stumble over words and have to correct myself. I learned those were moments of humility, not humiliation. I’m imperfect; so be it. I also know my industry and my job. I cannot say I’m the top expert by any means, but I can hold my own.

This month, I found myself preparing for a presentation. There had been a two-year hiatus from giving presentations due to COVID. It was a two-part training session with someone else presenting part two. I did not design her portion of the presentation, and although I understand the ., CA INE M A R topic, I do not have the R NLO SUSA same level of knowledge in that area. So when she had to bail the week before, I was not overly excited about covering both sections. I decided to record a practice run-through of her portion so I could listen to it while walking and driving.

A few days later, after listening to it once or twice, I started to notice a consistent click-clack, click-clack sound. It took me a minute to realize I must have absentmind11

edly been clicking my pen while recording As I continued to listen to my current the run-through. I then flashed back to 20 recording of my work presentation, I noplus years ago when I was in college and in ticed there was not a single pop-fizz, crunch, my disease of food addiction. or slurp. The difference helped me to feel While studying for a refresher course to compassion for that very lost young woman prepare me for a rigorous certification who had been trying to better herself deexam, I tape recorded spite suffering from some lessons that physical and menOnce I was in FA for a while, the were available at the tal disease of food aduniversity library. As diction.

I realized no one knew I listened to the tapes, As my own worst I could hear a popcritic, I can assure you my work the way I did. fizz and rustle-rustlethe presentation did rustle noises in the not go “perfectly.” I background. I remembered all my go-to made some slips and errors; however, I foods, so I could vividly imagine the items scored a “satisfactory” rating on all my surassociated with each and every noise. I was veys. I showed up in a suit I hadn’t worn in filled with shame and disgust. I couldn’t three years, and it never even dawned on me focus on the content of the tapes because to try it on before I packed. I simply slipped the mental image of right into it the mornme in my basement ing of the presentaI became more apartment continution without a care. I ously binge eating ate my abstinent comfortable in my skin next to my recorder meals and did all my was paralyzing. Food morning tools as if it and my abilities. had to accompany was just another day. every activity back The experience was then. I needed the caffeine to stay awake, the a great walk down memory lane of what I constant movement in order to stay seated used to be like when it came to reading and (which seems like an oxymoron), and the public speaking, how I became more comsoothing and numbing of food to overcome fortable in my skin and my abilities, and the fear that I was too dumb to graduate what it is like for me today to be fully presfrom college, let alone pass this massive ent in front of people. exam.

Anonymous 12

April 2023

I

Surrender

had been in FA for about seven years told me what I didn’t want to hear, espewhen I called my sponsor while visiting cially that I had to surrender a behavior or my son on an armed services base. As situation, I argued against it. we were speaking, she suggested I surrender Why is it so difficult for this food addict something. I can’t remember if it was a sit- to change direction based on the insight of uation or a habit, but I do remember being another? I think it’s because I am an addict. angry and frustrated. Hadn’t I surrendered That stubbornness and determination to enough in this procontinue doing what I gram? I told my son wanted to, even if it I discovered that, rather than about the situation harmed me, was a part and said, “I don’t reof my character that I fighting the situation ally even know what guess I didn’t want to surrender means.” give up. I had develor refusing to accept it, He responded oped that characteristhat surrender was to protect me if I turn to my Higher Power tic simple. In the armed when I was young. services, they were I realize it no and my fellows for support, Today, given four steps: longer serves me.

Stop fighting, put I have finally come I am no longer alone. down your weapon, to realize that for me shut your mouth, to progress and beand do what they say. come the person I was meant to be, I need I realized I was stuck on the very first step to let go and weigh and measure the advice of this process. I didn’t want to stop fight- of another. I don’t treat my sponsor or folks ing! I still wanted to do what I wanted to with long-term recovery like gods, but do. I didn’t want advice from anyone else. when I ask for an opinion or help, I want to The interesting point is that I had proba- truly hear it. So today I have my ears more bly told my sponsor about my tendency to open. I am more willing to change. resist suggestions because I truly did need I want to cease fighting with anything or and want some guidance. But if someone anyone. In the 19 years since I came into connection

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SUSAN F., NY

this program, my life has gotten so much better. I have worked through emotional upheavals such as death of parents, a divorce, children leaving home, financial challenges, multiple surgeries (some requiring intensive therapy), developing severe asthma, retiring, and living alone during a global pandemic.

I discovered that, rather than fighting the situation or refusing to accept it, if I turn to my Higher Power and my fellows for support, I am no longer alone.

The one fact I accept about myself is that 14

I still can argue. I am not perfect. When a pulmonologist told me at the age of 62 that I had developed severe asthma, I told him that he was wrong. Looking back, I have to chuckle at my insistence on arguing against the facts. Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. If I stay abstinent, do every tool every day, and work the steps continually, I will get better. My weight stays the same. My emotional stability and spiritual connection will increase. The result is incredible joy.

Anonymous April 2023

No Matter What

Not Something I Ate

I

am convinced FA saved my life. We guidance. I was terrified of losing my abwere on vacation seeing the sites and stinence, which I had maintained for visiting family when I began to feel nearly six months. I decided that as my vaguely uneasy. I noticed some bloating doctor’s office was closed for the holiday and fleeting abdominal pain that I had weekend, I would go to the ER the next never had before. I was eating my absti- morning to get the pain checked out. I nent meals, so I was confident it was not called my sponsor the next morning and something I ate. I had no digestive diffi- told her that I thought it was time to go culties or problems to the ER. As I was with my appetite, not in so much pain but I mentioned the that I felt the need I believe my new body pain to my sponsor to go in right away, awareness helped me on our usual call. she suggested that I She asked me to eat my breakfast define my need for medical monitor it. My sisand pack my abstiter, who is a nurse, nent lunch, just in reminded me that attention before the situation case. we both have the A CT scan quickly became dangerous. same type of abrevealed acute apdominal hernia. We pendicitis, with a decided that could be the problem, so she swollen but not ruptured appendix that advised getting it checked once we re- had to be removed that day. “Have you turned home. eaten today?” someone asked me. “Yes, at We arrived home on Saturday night of 7:00 a.m.” I listed the amount and type of a long holiday weekend, and I decided to food I ate for my abstinent breakfast. The wait to see my doctor the following Tues- doctor and nurses were impressed had day. That night, however, I awoke with the exact answer to that question, and the pain and asked my Higher Power for doctor said, “This is wonderful. We know connection

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exactly when to operate.” It was not a flux. Doctors and nurses can easily examlong wait from that moment. ine me now that I am close to being Again, I called my sponsor. I told her right-sized. The shame and embarrasswhat happened, and asked her what to ment about my size are a thing of the do, as I would be in surgery during my past. I have more body awareness, and I normal lunch time. She suggested I skip am eating with integrity and simplicity. I lunch and, if I was am truly grateful for still at the hospital, the physical health The shame and could eat the food I and recovery I am had brought for experiencing, and embarrassment about my size for dinner. The operamy sponsor and tion was performed this community are a thing of the past. without complicathat is helping me to tion, and I was disheal at every level charged. Home by 3:00 p.m., I napped, along the way. and then had my dinner just as planned, When I entered FA, I just wanted to with no problems, then or since. lose weight. I had tried everything After my appendicitis surgery, I have friends, family, and doctors suggested, experienced a rapid, complete recovery, but I was unsuccessful. After seven which I attribute in months, I have repart to the simple leased about 60 I have found a way of life and nourishing pounds, but even food we eat. I beI have found that is not only sustainable, better, lieve my new body a way of life that is awareness helped not only sustainable, but life-giving. me define my need but life-giving. for medical attenWhen I had a probtion before the situation became danger- lem that I didn’t know how to handle, my ous. Before Program, I would have spent sponsor gave me a suggestion that weeks in denial. Now I know that it’s not helped me to stay abstinent. Thank you, obesity, eating habits, weight, or ill health God, I am in a program where I never causing my issues. I no longer suffer high have to make decisions alone. cholesterol, insulin resistance, or acid reGenevieve B., Kentucky, US 16

April 2023

Lighten Up!

GRACE A., ISRAEL

Supportive Family

M

y eight-year-old niece was visiting me over the long Thanksgiving weekend.

After an abstinent Thanksgiving, the next day was black Friday. My niece really wanted me to take her to the early sales. I asked her, “What time do you think we should leave?” She thoughtfully said, “Well, you need to get up, be quiet, eat your breakfast, and make some calls. So, it’s up to you!”

Karen LB., Massachusetts , US connection

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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.