issue78

A HARINGEY YOUTH PUBLICATION

free NOV 05

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ISSUE 78

elebs • crims • climaxes • controversy • celebs • crims • clima

is free and open to anyone between 14 and 21 living in or around Haringey.

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write, edit, illustrate and design this magazine

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build your own website

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make a video

To arrange work experience, a work placement or to volunteer call Gary Flavell on 020 8883 0260, email gary @ exposure.org.uk or just walk into the office.

The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park N10 3QJ Tel: 020 8883 0260, Fax: 020 8883 2906, Mob: 07947 884 282 E-mail: editor@exposure.org.uk

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www.exposure.org.uk Regrettably our office is inaccessible to wheelchair users but we will nevertheless make every effort to include your contributions.

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sponsored by: social spider

ISSUE #78 NOVEMBER 2005

esther

Articles

charlotte

CELEBRITY INTERVIEW - 08 Esther Opoku Gyeni interviews Kwame.

stacey

KNOW WHAT I MEAN? - 10 Charlotte Haynes’ guide to youthspeak, innit!

abi

TAG! - 12 Stacey Lowe on being tagged.

lionel

EJECT - 16 Safie Benoit on the power of music. Designed by Abi Arojojoye.

POETRY -

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DIRECTORY -

• Christina Anderson • Joey Leskin • Pauline Nakirya

amina

pauline

22

nick

AGONY -

joey

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shelley

ZOODIAC -

• Aisha Malik • Amina Khatun • Amos Niamke

christina

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ruth

GALLERY -

Contributors

aisha

THEY’RE COMING! - 24 David Warrington on orgasms.

amos

david

MORE DRIBBLING - 20 Lionel Eddy risks a kicking from women footballers.

Features

shelley

pauline

esther

amina

Editorial Team Aisha Malik, Amina Khatun, Esther Opoku Gyeni, Pauline Nakirya and Shelley Gray

Most people are not famous but, as a child, everybody wants to be. One day we will give up on our dream of fame.

Our parents will say we have finally grown up. Famous people will say they only got where they are today by never giving up on their dreams.

aisha

Some people get famous by being good at doing entertaining things like playing football, making music or being on TV. Other people do it by being really good at bad things like serial killing or being a Spice Girl. A few are famous for not doing anything and being famous anyway, like Tara Palmer-Tomkinson or the Royal Family.

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Drug & Alcohol Services EXPOSED...

• Ruth Dankwa-Nyantakyi • Shelley Gray • Nick May

03

ThiNGs ‘N’

sTKFF

LEAVE THE DRUGS ALONE A free, one day drama workshop for 16 to 24 year olds followed by an evening performance. Saturday 26th November 2005 at Northumberland Park School.

Call Lorna Blackman on 0208 376 1919 for a place in the workshop. £3.00 admission for evening performance.

MONTHLY MATRIX www.natracare.com The monthly matrix is an online calendar to help you find out exactly what is happening on a particular day for your menstrual cycle! All I knew about periods was that every month you bleed. Now I know I’m gonna switch and get angry on the 22nd day. As well as the monthly matrix, you can look at rude pictures about how to check your breasts. So something for the boys too.

AKT

F I N G E R TIPS T I P S FINGER 04

THE INTERNET - Get wise to copyright, scams and sex pests with these new fact sheets from Citizens Advice, available at www.adviceguide.org.uk

CRITICAL MASS BIKE RIDE 25 November www.criticalmasslondon.org.uk On the last Friday of every month hundreds of cyclists spend a couple of hours cycling slowly around the centre of London. Awesome. Meet between 6.00 and 6.30 pm under Waterloo Bridge on the South Bank.

SHORT FILM COMPETITION As part of its second International Black Women Film Festival, Images of Black Women are inviting entries to a short film competition. It’s open to all as long as the film contains elements of African, African-Caribbean and Black culture on screen or behind the camera.

Films should be no longer than 15 minutes. Deadline for entries: 31 January 2006.

For more information and application forms visit www.imagesofblackwomen.com or email info@imagesofblackwomen.com

J

QUOTE UNQUOTE

“ ”

Fame: an embalmer trembling with stage fright.

H. L. Mencken, 18801956, American satirist, cynic and free-thinking social critic.

It’s illegal to download music you haven’t paid for or don’t have permission to use.

05

FESTIVALS Whether you’re a devoted worshipper or one of the godless hordes in silly hats it’s that time of year when people will celebrate anything if it means getting a present.

Here’s a stupidly over-simplified guide to recent festivals. = FIREWORKS

= STARVATION

= PRESENTS

= SPOOKINESS

HALLOWEEN (31.10) In the olden days when people were pagans, they thought that as the nights got longer, witches and evil spirits would roam the land playing tricks on people. So people disguised themselves as evil spirits in the hope of being left alone. ‘Trick or Treat’ is the result, with bonus sweets.

RAMADAN (04.10) AND EID (03.11) In the month of Ramadan, Muslims all over the world fast - go without food, water, sweets, chewing gum, cigarettes and so on - from dawn until dusk, when they have a massive dinner. They do it to learn self-control, patience, devotion to Allah, and how to get up at 5.00 am to pray and eat rice and curry. Ramadan ends with the festival of Eid. People dress up, decorate their homes, visit their friends and have a merry time.

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ROSH HASHANA (04.10) AND YOM KIPPUR (13.10) Known as the High Holy Days, they signify the end of one year and the start of another. In the nine days between them, Jews believe God is deciding who will die and who will live in the next year. You must be especially good in these nine days and then repent your sins on Yom Kippur.

On Yom Kippur, people don’t eat from dusk on the previous day until dusk on the day of Yom Kippur. It’s quite sombre because people are repenting their sins (and everyone’s hungry).

DIWALI (01.11)

CHRISTMAS (25.12)

Diwali marks the beginning of the Hindu new year and falls on the 15th day of the dark fortnight of the Hindu month of Kartik. It’s known as the ‘festival of lights’ which is another excuse for fireworks and explains why Tesco have a special Diwali candle stand.

Christians celebrate Christmas by spending time with family and friends, getting drunk and having fun. Some people take a moment to remember Jesus Christ. If only because they have been dragged to church on Christmas Eve.

A grammatical guide...

COLONS AND SEMICOLONS Use a colon to start a list. The words in front of the colon must be a complete sentence. It is not necessary to use a capital letter after the colon: Fasting means going without all sorts of things; food, water, sweets, and even cigarettes.

A colon is also used to introduce something: There is one thing you can do: behave.

Dr Christopher says: “Wear a condom.”

A semicolon is more complicated. Use a semicolon instead of a conjunction (and, but, for, nor, or, so, yet) to show that two independent clauses (complete sentences) are linked together (coordinated clauses): Sex is hot but contraception is cold.

Sex is hot; contraception is cold.

Use lots of semicolons in long lists of coordinated clauses: Mia Hamm was the youngest ever player in the US National Team; she was a World Cup winner in 2004; People Magazine named her one of the most beautiful people in 1997; she has her own Barbie Doll.

Or change a dependent clause (an incomplete sentence) into an independent clause and use a semicolon to separate it from the coordinated clause: I don’t see enough games because other people don’t find them appealing.

I don’t see enough games; other people don’t find them appealing.

Luckily, it’s perfectly possible to write well without ever using a semicolon.

GUY FAWKES NIGHT (05.11) On 5 November 1605, Guy Fawkes and some Catholics tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament. The plot was discovered and those involved were arrested, tortured and hanged.

Ever since the happy people of London have lit bonfires, set off fireworks and burnt Guy Fawkes in effigy for a laugh.

BANDI CHORR DIVAS (01.11) The Sikhs’ day of freedom marks the release from detention by the Emperor Jahangir of the sixth Guru Nanak. The same day as Diwali and similarly celebrated with lamps, candles and fireworks.

J

You can’t copy large amounts of text written by someone else, even if you say they wrote it.

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celebrity interview:

KWAME

BY ESTHER OPOKU GYENI

Kwame Kwei-Armah is an actor, a singer, the award-winning writer of two hugely successful plays - Elmina’s Kitchen and Fix Up - and an ambassador for Christian Aid. And we thought he was just that guy who did quite well in Celebrity Fame Academy You were born Ian Roberts but you changed your name. Why? At about 19 I started to read the autobiography of Malcolm X and Marcus Garvey’s philosophies. I discovered that in 1833-34 when slavery was abolished we that were born in the Caribbean were given the names of our slave masters. I found that to be an illegitimate act. It took me many years but I traced us back to Grenada, right back to Ghana and gave myself and my family our ancestral name.

What do you think it means to be black?

I perceive myself as an African, an African Caribbean and as a black Brit. I call myself tricultural. When I think of black I don’t think as our language does in terms of things that are negative. I think in terms of what we have done to survive. I think about our achievements - not just in terms of music or in terms of sport - but in terms of the love that has allowed us to exist in environments that have been very hateful.

How important is it to you to give back to the community?

What my mother taught me was don’t just be responsible for yourself but also for your actions, and how your actions reflect on your community and then on the nation as whole. I’m not into the vacuousness of celebrity of ‘hey, what am I wearing’ and blah, blah. To me celebrity is a vacuous and empty thing and the only thing we can do with it is to use it to enable and help others.

How rewarding is it to work hard writing a play and then see it on stage?

The wonderful thing about it being a success is that it validates one’s feelings: we have to contribute, be a reflector to society and ask questions. For me it’s very important to be a catalyst for debate. I want people to sit down and talk about the issues in my play. When people discuss the issues, then maybe greater minds will come up with solutions.

How would other people describe you?

My friends would probably say that I’m ambitious, extremely hardworking, that I have a profound love for family and that I love people. My enemies will probably say that I have a huge ego and that the reason I work as hard as I do is because I constantly want attention. They’d probably say that I think I’m the ‘it’ negro now. When I’m lazy and tired and going ‘oh, I can just skip this part’, I try to motivate myself and make sure that I can do the best that I can do.

What are you doing next?

I’m doing a small bit in a new Michelle Pfeiffer movie, I’m in a movie about Orson Welles and I’m probably going to Shanghai to do a TV programme. I want to continue doing acting work that makes me a better actor. I’m writing a movie and plan to keep writing narratives that challenge myself, my community and society. So I want to keep doing what I’m doing now: work at my craft and raise subjects for debate that I think can be for the betterment of our society.

08 photo: Luke Pantellidou

09

esther

aaggro abbr. & n. aggravation. aiight adv. all right, okay. arsed v. & n. bothered, as in ‘I can’t be arsed’.

A

bait adj. obvious, as in ‘your weave is so bait’. bare 1 adv. many. 2 adj. very. beef v. & n. a fight or argument.

B

biggin’ up v. encourage or support. bling n. jewellery, see ICE. block n. housing estate. blud n. a close friend, see BREDRIN. bod n. nerd, geek. bredrin n. a close friend, see BLUD. breh abbr. & n. bredrin buff adj. hot, sexy. See CHUNG, DECENT, SLICK. bumpa n. posterior, bottom, butt. bussin’ v. trendsetting, expressing something. butterz adj. ugly. See MINGING.

c

cheddar n. money chill adj. & v. to relax, relaxing. see COTCH and JAMMIN’. chirpse v. to chat someone up. chung adj. 1 extremely sexy, over buff. 2 stoned.

See BUFF, DECENT, SLICK. cool adj. good. See NANG, SAFE. cotch v. relax. See CHILL and JAMMIN’. crib n. place of residence. See ENDZ, HOOD, YARD.

a adj. & adv. the. dat pron., adj., adv. & conj. that. decent adj. average looking. See BUFF, CHUNG, SLICK. dey pron. they. dis pron., adj. & adv. this. dry adj. not very good, lame.

d

endz n. where you are from, as in ‘what are your endz?’ See CRIB, HOOD, YARD.

e

f

fo shizzle dizzle adv. & n. yes. front v. & n. to show off.

g

garms n. clothes. get me phr. as in ‘you know what I’m saying?’ grass v. & n. 1 to inform, to inform. 2 marijuana, see GREEN. green n. 1 marijuana, weed. 2 US dollars. grimy adj. something good. gwan contr. go on.

h

heavy adj. good. hectic adj. vibrant, funky, crazy. hood n. contr. neighbourhood. See CRIB, ENDZ, YARD. hoodie contr. a hooded top or jacket.

ii

ice n. jewellery, mainly platinum or diamonds, see BLING. innit contr. to agree with something, innit! jack v. steal. jammin’ v. relaxing, see CHILL and COTCH.

j

joker n. someone funny.

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J

Delete email spam. Don’t open any attachments or reply to links offering to remove you from their mailing list.

k

kotch v. var. of COTCH. kool adj. var. of COOL. kriss adj. pretty, see BUFF. lanky adj. tall and skinny. long adj. not good, as in ‘That film was bare long’.

See DRY,

l

manor n. someone’s area, see ENDZ. minger n. an unattractive person. minging v. & adj. unpleasant, dirty, mint adj. excellent, great. murk v. fight, as in ‘I’m going to murk him’. See BEEF. my bad phr. my mistake.

m

n o

nang adj. good. See COOL, SAFE. off the hook phr. exceeding expectations. oh my dayz phr. exclamation of surprise.

p

phat adj. pretty, hot and tempting. prang adj. scared. See SHOOK.

J

ps n. money. punked v. being intimidated or bullied, as in ‘that boy got punked!’

r

rags v. to not care.

rave n. & v. party. See SHUBZ. roll v. leave.

s

safe adj. good. See COOL, NANG. shook v. & adj. to be scared. See PRANG. shubz n. party. See RAVE. skeen adj. something that has been understood. sket n. a girl with a bad reputation. slick adj. looking good.

See BUFF, CHUNG, DECENT. switch v. to rapidly turn on someone.

charlotte

V w

vibes n. atmosphere, feelings, a person’s aura. wah gwan? phr. what’s up? What is going on?

x

xtra adj. too much, sucking-up. yammin’ v. eating. yard n. house. See CRIB, ENDZ, HOOD.

y

z

zs n. sleep, as in ‘I was bussin’ some zs in dat lesson’.

Principal Abbreviations: v.

verb

n.

noun

adj.

adjective

adv.

adverb

teef n. thief. tipsy adj. drunk.--threads n. clothes.

phr.

phrase

contr.

contraction

pron.

pronoun

untold adj. many.

conj.

conjunction

T

u

Don’t give out personal information in chat rooms. Use a nickname.

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BY STACEY LOWE I was so scared standing up in the dock, locked in and waiting to get sentenced.

‘You are a young women playing silly little games and thinking it’s funny. You will be dealt with very harshly and severely.’

I thought I was going to get sent down.

The fact that I was in crown court made it even worse because I was looking at more than two years.

‘Please stand up. I have read your presentence report and I am ready to sentence you...’

The day afterwards they put the tag on my ankle. Just imagine having most of your freedom taken away from you by a big grey bracelet round your ankle which sets you a curfew. I have to be in my house at 7.00 pm and cannot leave until 7.00 am. To make sure I don’t leave in between there is a monitoring box in my room. The box can tell what time you come into your house and what time you leave. Once you leave your house they

“People get electronically monitored to be punished and to prevent you from offending again, but it’s like being treated like a child” My heart was beating so fast.

‘Right, young lady. I am sentencing you to a three-month curfew, during which you will be electronically monitored, and a two-year supervision order during which you will report to probation twice a week without fail. If you do not comply with this order you will be brought back before me and re-sentenced. Do you understand?’

‘Yes, ma’am. Thank you.’ My punishment was better than going to prison; as long as it wasn’t jail I didn’t mind what I got.

The clerk asked me to remain in the court to sign some papers about the electronic tag. I waited but I couldn’t wait to run outside and scream with joy.

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can’t track you down - they can’t use the tag to find you when you’re on the streets.

If you are more than 5 minutes late home, they phone you to ask why and note it down on your record. If you are more than 15 minutes late three or more times you can be picked up at your home address by the police and get arrested for breaching your order. They will take you back to court and you’ll be resentenced.

The phone line also records all your calls so, if you use it, they catch everything you’re saying.

The tag people are called Premier Monitoring Services. They can come round to your house any time within your curfew hours. If you tamper with the

stacey

equipment they know - it’s smarter than you think. The next step up after the tag is custody, so if you are on one, don’t take any risks or believe anyone who says they can take it off or stop it from working.

People get electronically monitored to be punished and to prevent them from offending again, but it’s like being treated like a child. I feel isolated having to be in one place for so long. But I’m

trying my hardest to keep out of trouble.

There are 10,000 people with an electronic tag. The government want to double that by 2008. There’s one thing you can do to make sure you’re not one of them: behave.

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Gallery

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Anything Man by Amos Niamke

Send your artwork to: The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park N10 3QJ Tel: 020 8883 0260, Fax: 020 8883 2906, Mob: 07947 884 282, Email: jon@exposure.org.uk

Gallery

Simplicity by Daisy Rodrick

Send your artwork to: The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park N10 3QJ Tel: 020 8883 0260, Fax: 020 8883 2906, Mob: 07947 884 282, Email: jon@exposure.org.uk

15

BY SAFIE BENOIT DESIGN BY ABI AROJOJOYE Music has become a way of living. The type of music you listen to can influence the clothes you wear, the people you socialise with and even the way you carry yourself. It’s slithering its way into our psyches and becoming a part of us.

We’ve all been there. I heard Missy Elliot rap about Adidas in her rhymes and saw her rocking the latest Adidas tracksuits and, yes, I did find myself in JD sports trying on every Adidas tracksuit I could find.

Then comes the whole attitude and style of living. For instance, those who listen to pop-rock like Busted have got the whole scatter-boy image and the baggy oversized clothing sussed. Those who listen to rap are immediately part of a hip-hop culture into which ballers (those who play basketball), spray-painters and breakdancers are invited.

Music creates mini cities of people with one thing in common. It becomes the

“ It’s like a package deal, a buy one get one free.

If we like a song we’re drawn to the artist and if we like an artist we’re drawn to their music.”

When you think about the power of music, it’s ridiculous!.

And it’s not just the music, it’s the artists who are associated with the music. It’s like a package deal, a buy one get one free.

If we like a song we’re drawn to the artist and if we like an artist we’re drawn to their music. Artists give the music a face, a character, a personality which you want to know more about - Jay-Z collaborates with a few rock artists and the very next day his fans decide rock is the new hip-hop.

Suddenly rock is ‘cool’ and ‘heavy’ because Linkin Park had a hit single with their favourite star.

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centre of a whole movement, a way of living. So it seems as though, from merely asking someone what type of music they listen to, we feel we have enough knowledge to decide what type of person they are.

Music is even used as a tactical way to sell products. They use music in commercials to advertise products and services. If it’s not a pop song, it’s a catchy jingle they’ve made up. Everybody knows that once you put music to a group of words nobody’s going to forget it -

abi

‘Washing Machines live longer with Calgon’, anyone? That still haunts me every time my mum does a load of washing.

But beyond the fact that a song can sell anything from a car to a Kleenex tissue, the problem is music’s influence on us, the youth. Music can manipulate our emotions and make us feel sad when we’re not

J

really sad, or in love for a short moment when we’re not even in a relationship.

Music is influential. It has the power to influence what you buy. It can influence your thoughts, the way you think of others, what you think of yourself or the person you might become. Now tell me that’s not power!

Banks will never ask you for personal information in an email. This is a scam.

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Find the sign that matches the year of your birth. You’re an animal.

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Rooster 1981.1993.2005

Rat 1972.1984.1996

You’ve just met someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. They’re ‘the one’ and you’re falling deeper and deeper in love with them. Just remember love is like quicksand: the deeper you fall, the harder it is to get out.

Youur life is about to get very interesting.

You’ve been trying to get someone’s attention for ages and now they’ve finally realised you exist. Make sure you’re always looking your best and what will happen will happen. You just have to be patient.

Dog 1970.1982.1994

Ox 1973.1985.1997

If you think you’re ready to move on and start afresh, think again.

There’s some unsettled business that needs to be sorted out or you’ll regret it later. And the longer you leave it the worse you’ll make it for yourself.

You’ve always appreciated you’re friends but have they always appreciated you? Some truths might need to come out soon but it’s not such a bad thing: at least you’ll know where you stand.

Pig 1971.1983.1995

Tiger 1974.1986.1998

You’ve been depending on someone for as long as you can remember but now you’ve done something you know was so wrong. You feel guilty and know what you should do: own up. If they find out the truth and never trust you again.

You’re in a flirty mood even though you know you’re taken. There’s nothing wrong with flirting as long as it stops at that but don’t go too far or you’ll lose the person who cares for you the most.

J

You’re allowed to store downloaded music on your computer, but it’s illegal to share it.

Rabbit 1975.1987.1999

Horse 1978.1990.2002

You’re in a sticky situation which you’re finding hard to get out of. It’s time to rethink and this time put yourself first. If things didn’t work out the way you planned then you know they weren’t as good as they seemed.

Get over it.

The most terrible thing has just happened but the more you moan and mope about it, the worse you’ll feel. Tell someone you trust and ask their advice. It will help more than you think.

Dragon 1976.1988.2000

Goat 1979.1991.2003

You’ve had a bit of a fall out with someone really close. You know it wasn’t your fault but was it theirs? They didn’t meant to hurt you so try to understand their point of view.

Life is too short to hold grudges.

There are some strange rumours flying around about you and someone else. They’re not exactly true but your other half claims they are. Prove to everyone that you’re not who they think you are.

Snake 1977.1989.2001

Monkey 1980.1992.2004

You think you know your friends well but best friends don’t tell each other everything.

Some secrets will come out soon, so make sure you are prepared for the worst.

After all, you’re closer to you’re enemies than you’re friends, right?

The world has been treating you a bit like you don’t exist. You know you can show people exactly what you’re made of but it will take some time and a lot of effort. Don’t go jumping into things and looking like a fool- just be yourself.

J

In the UK, premium rate telephone numbers begin with 090.

Don’t ring them unless you’re rich.

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20

lionel

BY LIONEL EDDY Women’s football is getting better every season. But how big is it compared to men’s competitions like the Premiership, the Champions League or the World Cup? It’s not even close.

After England’s disappointing European Championship exit, the FA knows women’s football is in trouble. They need to do something different and it won’t be women dressed in big baggy shorts, running up and down a park for 90 minutes, that’s for sure.

Women can always improve the skill, technique and pace of their game but that doesn’t seem to be enough at the moment. The Nationwide Women’s Premier League barely gets a half full stadium. You don’t see women’s football aired live on Sky Sports - maybe

models for Calvin Klein. They use their looks to attract young women and are also both huge gay icons.

Outside football, tennis sweetheart Anna Kournikova is a part-time model and was recently on the front page of Maxim for the second time. She has her own videos and CDs on sale.

Wimbledon winner Maria Sharopova’s success and looks means she could become one of the world’s richest sports celebrities, like Tiger Woods and David Beckham.

In the United States, women’s Major League Soccer is setting the pace for women footballers around the world.

Mia Hamm, who is widely recognised as the world’s best all-round women’s soccer player, was the youngest ever

“Make women footballers attractive and men will be more interested in the female version of the beautiful game” player in the US National Team. She was the FA Women’s Cup Final or an England international in the European Championship or the World Cup - but that’s all.

So how can this be solved? Simple.

Women have to use their looks to their advantage.

Okay, this might sound sexist but it’s not.

Women shouldn’t just be pin-up bimbos out on the football pitch for show and not to play football. I respect the women’s game and I love watching them play. The trouble is I just don’t see enough of their games because other people don’t seem to find women’s football all that appealing.

shelley

ruth

esther

flo

Turning to the men’s game for a minute, just look at David Beckham or Freddie Ljungberg. Beckham is one of the most famous faces in sport. Freddie Ljungberg

a World Cup winner in 2004. People Magazine named Mia one of the most beautiful people in 1997. She brought ‘sex appeal’ on and off a football pitch. She even has her own Barbie Doll.

FIFA president Sepp Blatter suggested women footballers should follow the lead of beach volleyball and play in tighter shorts and more feminine clothes. Of course, women got angry, but now the FA is promoting ‘The More Beautiful Game’ with big posters and postcards of the England women’s team getting dirty on the football pitch.

Make women footballers attractive and men will be more interested in the female version of football. It will be good business. Women footballers will attract more money, sponsors, and sports journalists. They’ll go straight to the back pages of the tabloids and straight onto the covers of magazines like FHM.

None of us agree with Lionel but we’ve published his article anyway to get you talking (like Kwame’s plays) and teach him a lesson.

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Dear Justin I had a massive argument with my friend just before she went on holiday. She needed someone to look after her tropical fish and I volunteered to try and make up with her. But one night I turned the heater up too much and when I came back the next day they were all floating on the surface, dead! Now I’m in hot water!

JT - If you can’t replace the fish, just tell her this: You took a chance and made other plans but I bet you didn’t think they’d all come crashing down, no! You don’t have to say what you did I already know… cry me a river, oh, cry me a river!

Dear Justin I just moved schools and I hate it. The kids look at me as if I’m some kind of monster, if they look at me at all. All I ever seem to do is embarrass myself, you see, I’ve got a lisp and I know that’s why they’re laughing. All the teachers do is smile like they’re robots.

JT - I know that life is hard on you and you cant seem to find out why. I’ll explain: just grab your coat and join me on this ride.

Let’s take a ride! Don’t worry. It’s always like that that when you start somewhere new. You just need to show who’s on top and rock your body, hee heee!

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Send your problems to Exposure, The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell HIll Centre, Hillfield Park, Muswell HIll, N10 3QJ or email agony@exposure.org.uk

Dear Justin My friend is 14 and she has what she calls a boyfriend who’s 26! They met online and have been dating because they live close to each other. I think he’s just using her. I’ve tried to tell her but she really likes him. What should I do to try and convince her?

JT - If she won’t take your advice, you need to find somebody else who can help her realise what’s happening. Being so young she shouldn’t have a boyfriend that old. Well, Senorita, I feel for you. You deal with things that you don’t have to!

Dear Justin There’s a boy who’s really buff and I'm crazy about him but I think one of my friends is going out with him behind my back. They’re always around each other, smiling and winking at each other. I need to know the truth but I'm scared that it might break my heart. What should I do?

JT - Well you deserve the best. Take a few shots, let it burn in your chest.

We could ride down pumpin’ n.e.r.d. in the deck. Funny how a few words turn into sex! Play this free, joint called brain. Ma, take a hint, make me swerve in the lane. The name malicious and I burn every track. Clipse and J. Timberlake - now, how heavy is that?

J

Be careful what you write about someone else on a website.

You can be taken to court if it’s not true.

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BY DAVID WARRINGTON Pornography is taking over the internet, Viagra is the fastest selling drug ever and there are sex toys on sale in Debenhams.

Why? One very noisy word (say it quietly): orgasms.

“An orgasm is actually the muscles at the base of the penis and in the lower third of the vagina contracting in a rhythmic, involuntary way,” says Dr Christopher, Head of Family Planning in Haringey. It’s a very intense feeling. For men, something dramatic happens: they release semen. Women get wet but it’s a myth that they should somehow release fluid in the same way.”

A woman’s orgasm helps pull sperm towards the cervix, increasing the chance of her getting pregnant. But she doesn’t have to have an orgasm to get pregnant and the man doesn’t either: there are thousands of sperm in the fluid at the tip of an erect penis long before he

sometimes a tricky thing. Cultural and religious factors and attitudes towards women have meant that they find it more difficult. If they’re told ‘don’t touch yourself down there’ or ‘you’ve got to keep yourself a virgin for when you get married’ then they’re not going to do any exploration. But humans are the only species on the globe in which the female has orgasms so it would be a very perverse god who made that happen if he didn’t mean women to enjoy sex.”

Once men and women understand their own bodies, they can learn to understand each other’s by sharing what they like and don’t like. While orgasms might be the high point of sex, they’re not the only point, which is lucky because you won’t always have one.

“If people don’t trust one another, if they’re afraid of intimacy, if they are

“A female orgasm is something that can take a while to experience. Often it’s because they’ve got angry or disappointed with their partner lousy lovers. ejaculates. And you can have an orgasm without having sex. In fact, quite often, you’re more likely to have an orgasm on your own.

“A boy knows that if he plays with his penis something is going to happen so they will masturbate from an early age,” says Dr Christopher. “A female orgasm is something that can take a while to experience. Often it’s because they’ve got lousy lovers. Young men may not take the time or the trouble to understand how to please women, so they will ejaculate, think it’s all over and the women pretends she’s enjoyed it. But sex is not just genitally focused; for women particularly there is more sensuality. It could be behind their ear lobes, their breasts, thighs, bottoms: anywhere they feel it’s nice to be touched.

“When women understand about their bodies they can masturbate and get orgasms perfectly okay. But that’s

then they may not have orgasms,” says Dr Christopher. “The important thing is not to be worried or anxious about orgasms.

Anxiety about sex is the big killer. It kills feelings and causes all sorts of problems.

Men particularly are terribly anxious about sexual performance, what’s expected, and what should happen. It’s partly because he has to have en erection in order to be able to perform while a women can just lie there, pretend and fake orgasms. But orgasms shouldn’t be like that. Orgasms are about letting yourself go.”

But before you let yourself go all the way, find out about pregnancy, condoms, contraception and STIs at a 4YP clinic, 4YP drop-in session or on the 4YP bus (see the directory, p27).

sponsored by:

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Directory YOUTH CLUBS Muswell Hill Youth Centre Hillfield Park, Muswell Hill Tel: 020 8883 5855 Bruce Grove Youth Project 10 Bruce Grove, Tottenham Tel: 020 8808 1604 Wood Green Area Youth Project New River Sports Complex, White Hart Lane Tel: 020 8489 8940 / 020 8489 8942 SEXUAL HEALTH 4YP Haringey Tuesday 2.30-4.30pm St Ann’s Sexual Health Centre, St Ann’s Hospital, St Ann’s Road Tottenham N15 3TH Tel: 020 8442 6605/6536.

4YP Drop-in Sessions: Northumberland Park Monday 3.30-6.30pm Aspire Youth Project, Kenneth Robins House, 240 Northumberland Park Rd, N17 0BX. Wood Green Wednesday 3.30-6.30pm Sky City Community Centre, (Wood Green Shopping City), 65 Penwortham Court, 50 Mayes Road, Wood Green, N22 6SR. 4YP Bus Tel: 0800 1613 715 www.4yp.co.uk Young Mums To Be Alexandra Court 122-124 High Road Wood Green Tel: 020 8889 0022

STAFF Andreas Koumi Jon Golds Enrico Tessarin Luke Pantelidou

Outzone For gay and bisexual men under 26 www.outzone.org.uk MENTAL HEALTH Antenna 9 Bruce Grove, Tottenham Tel: 020 8365 9537 www.antennaoutreach.co.uk email: info@antennaoutreach.co.uk Host Excel House, 312 High Road, Tottenham Tel: 020885 8160 LEARNING DISABILITIES Markfield Project Markfield Road, Tottenham Tel: 020 8800 4134 DRUGS AND ALCOHOL Step-ahead 40 Bromley Road, Tottenham Tel: 020 8493 8525 Turning Point The Old Health Clinic Suttton Road, Muswell Hill Tel: 020 8883 8887 HAGA 590 Seven Sisters Road, Tottenham Tel: 020 8800 6999 Freephone Child helpline: 0800 389 5257 Haringey Drugs Education Team Family Resource Centre 4 Pulford Road, London N16 6SP Tel: 020 8489 2240 HERB ONLINE www.herbonline.info

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Michael Aumeerally David Warrington Liz Millar Abi Arijojoye

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