issue74

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www.exposure.org.uk A HARINGEY YOUTH PUBLICATION

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ISSUE 74

UNDER THE

INFLUENCE

Exposure is free and open to anyone between 14 and 21 living in or around Haringey. write, illustrate and design this magazine build your own website make a video express yourself www.exposure.org.uk Regrettably our office is inaccessible to wheelchair users but we will nevertheless make every effort to include your contributions.

The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park N10 3QJ Tel: 020 8883 0260, Fax: 020 8883 2906, Mob: 07947 884 282 E-mail: editor@exposure.org.uk

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Writers write to influence their readers, their preachers, their auditors, but always, at bottom, to be more themselves.

Aldous Huxley

social spider

ISSUE #74 APRIL 2005

trevor

sim

sean

JESUS SAVES - 06 Sean Furtado and Sim-Chung Tang seek spiritual guidance Illustration by Trevor Sylvester

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THE VEIL OF TERROR - 04 Eda Salih on media manipulation

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WAKE UP - 08 How Shelley Gray was led astray

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PRIMARY KILLERS - 10 Leon McAdam is corrupted by videogames

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MINORITY REPORT - 12 Kubilay Ozpalas on why ethnic minority students are under pressure

CHRONICLE - 14 Leone Christou is tempted by travel in the first of a new series of articles UNDER EXPOSURE - Bullying

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COCKS AND RUBBERS - 16 An insider guide to the condom by David Warrington

samantha

jamal

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POETRY - 20 Poems by Funda Cetinkaya, Jamal Gayle and Samantha Akinuli

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CUT IT OUT - 18 Smokey has a hold on knife crime

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gary

REVIEWS - 24 Gary Flavell, Nick May and Rocco Simeone

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marina

ENIGMA - 22 Marina Ali and Sean Furtado autoreply

EVENTS - 26 A guide to what’s hip and happening in Haringey DIRECTORY -

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The Tottenham Grammar School Foundation

Hornsey Parochial Trust

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THE MEDIA TAKE WHAT LITTLE THEY KNOW ABOUT MUSLIMS AND MAKE UP THE REST. A lot of prejudiced reporting means that some people see Muslims as ‘demons’, ‘fanatics’, ‘fundamentalists’ or ‘terrorists.’ The word ‘fundamentalist’ actually means anyone who follows the basic attitudes and beliefs of their religion. For Muslims, these are believing in Allah and his prophet Mohammed, praying five times a day, fasting during Ramadan, the holy month, helping the poor and visiting Mecca once in their lifetime. All Muslims who do these things can be called ‘fundamentalists’. It is not a bad thing.

But the media use the word ‘fundamentalist’ as a negative word, representing Muslims as maniacs who are so obsessed with their religion they will fight anyone who gets in their way. There are some cruel Muslims out there, just like there are nasty people across the world. But the media love to exaggerate.

The TV blasts us with shocking images while never really explaining what the images show. Often it is people acting violently as a last resort because they have been oppressed, manipulated and abused by Western countries. But the media don’t

eda

BY EDA SALIH

who killed his 16-year-old daughter Heshu because she was going out with a Christian boy. This story was shocking, especially because it was splashed across the front page of every newspaper. But one unreasonable and stupid man does not represent all Muslims, the same way a convicted terrorist who happens to be white does not reflect most white people.

Muslim women who cover themselves up are often portrayed as being controlled by their husbands and not having any self-respect.

But the truth is that most Muslim women wear a hijab, or veil, to show their purity and commitment to Islam. They are not forced into it by their families or husbands. In fact, Islam teaches and encourages respect and equal rights between men and women.

Muslim women were allowed to vote, inherit property and have control over their possessions long before Christian women were. Bangladesh, Pakistan and Turkey have all had female leaders whereas America, bringing ‘freedom’ and ‘democracy’ to the world, has never had a female president.

Negative stereotypes of Muslims were created hundreds of years ago by Westerners who were scared by how quickly Islam was

“WHEN GEORGE BUSH AND TONY BLAIR STARTED THE LATEST WAR ON IRAQ THEY CALLED THEMSELVES ‘PEACE MAKERS’ AND ‘LIBERATORS’, NOT ‘FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIANS’ AND ‘TERRORISTS’” describe them as ‘freedom fighters’. They are called ‘fanatics’, ‘terrorists’ or ‘fundamentalists’, the most dangerous and violent people in the world.

But when George Bush and Tony Blair started the latest war on Iraq, which has killed at least 100,000 Iraqi civilians, they called themselves ‘peace makers’ and ‘liberators’, not ‘fundamentalist Christians’ and ‘terrorists’.

Since the UK government introduced new anti-terrorism laws three years ago, 609 people have been arrested. And with every raid there’s a storm of publicity using words like ‘Muslims’, ‘terrorists’ and ‘living next door’. In fact most of these people were very quietly released without charge and of the 15 people who have actually been convicted, most were white men.

According to the media, Muslims also treat their women like animals. In 2003, there was the story about Abdullah Yones, an Iraqi man

spreading to Western countries, threatening the position of the Christian church and the government. Today Islam is still the fastest growing religion in the world. If it were such a harsh and degrading religion then why are more and more people reverting to Islam every day? Maybe Islam attracts so many different people because the values it teaches are honest and worthy and peaceful. Not many people know that Islam stands for ‘peace’ or that all Muslims want is to live happy and satisfying lives.

The truth is that many people don’t really know what Islam is really about and are all too ready to believe false reports about Muslims. It’s easy to believe what the media tell you instead of thinking for yourself, but don’t make the mistake of judging others by what you are told to think about them.

Learn the truth for yourself.

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Jesus

saves

his easter eggs for later

BY SEAN FURTADO AND SIM-CHUNG TANG ILLUSTRATION BY TREVOR SYLVESTER THERE’S MORE TO CHRISTIANITY THAN EASTER EGGS. According to the Bible, one Sunday over two thousand years ago, Jesus Christ was resurrected after being crucified a few days earlier. Now we celebrate Easter Sunday, the day of love’s triumph over evil, with a peak in national Creme Egg sales that can see production in the Cadbury’s factory in Bournville rise to 1.5 million a day.

Many years BC (Before Chocolate) being a Christian might have got you tied to a stake and burned alive. Later on, the same thing might have happened to you for not being a Christian. But now, as long as there are still Easter Eggs, is anyone really bothered?

“Since becoming a Christian my vision of the world has been completely turned right side up!” says Sim. “Looking back, the thing that stands out most is how much I’ve changed as a person.”

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“That’s because religion is a cult,” says Sean.

“You’re being brainwashed into keeping quiet, not having opinions of your own and following the word of some leader who is just a man with his own ideas.

“People are trying to live there lives but religion butts in controlling your every movement. Someone is always on top of you making sure you stay in your place at all times and never step out of line. ‘You can’t do this.’ ‘You can’t do that.’ Well what the hell can you do?”

“There are certain things that I don’t agree with,” says Sim. “Sex before marriage, drunkenness, downloading off Kazaa. But Christianity isn’t all about rules. All of the things I do, I do because I find myself wanting to, not because I feel I ought to. God can work in anyone’s heart and change them for the better. I’m still human and I have my flaws but the beauty of God is that He doesn’t care.”

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“WE’RE SUPPOSED TO LEARN FROM MISTAKES NOT REPEAT THEM” Sean says: “Religion is supposed to be there when everything goes wrong, to help you through the struggle, make you stronger and give you the chance to be better.”

“But God’s not only there to solve your problems,” says Sim. “Sometimes God gives us challenges in order for us to grow and stand on our own two feet. But your prayers never go unheard, it’s just that what we want isn't always what's best for us.”

“Religion is about money, corruption and power,” says Sean. “Over time the people who were kept in charge of editing Bibles and leaflets had their own ideas and changed everything so religion has been twisted inside out. Just imagine how wacky it might be in the future.”

The exact contents of the Bible took 400 years to decide on. By then there were already enough bishops, synods and competing sects to argue about things like whether the resurrection was a physical or purely spiritual

thing which could be experienced by anybody. And that might mean no one would have to go to church.

“There are so many hypocrites that go to church, come back out and sin again,” says Sean.

“We’re supposed to learn from mistakes not repeat them. When mass begins everyone just goes through the motions, looking as if they’re being hypnotized. Some people just sit there looking at their watches and waiting as it drags by minute after droopy minute.”

And being one of those times when parents drag their kids to church, there’s likely to be a few more people in church staring at the stained-glass windows and seeing only a gooey fondant-filled chocolate-covered egg.

“Religion can be seen as a ‘system’ of practising beliefs,” says Sim. “But faith is about truly trusting in and following Jesus. The key is welcoming Him into your life. It’s no good opening your arms but closing your heart to God! He can only truly work in you if you allow Him to!”

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BY SHELLEY GRAY ON MY FIRST DAY OF SECONDARY SCHOOL I WAS FEELING NERVOUS.

from depression brought on by worrying about me.

I had butterflies in my tummy and I was trembling with my fingers in my mouth because I didn’t know how people were going to treat me. All I knew was that I had registration at 8.30.

A girl came up to me and introduced herself. She said her name was K. We became friends and started to go most places together. That’s what I thought friends did.

I didn’t realise I was hurting anyone - I thought I was just doing what normal teenagers do - but because of the way I was acting my relationship with my mum suffered a lot. We would always argue about what I was doing and how I couldn’t see the harm in it. Every time I got into trouble my mum and her partner would argue about it. Then they separated and my mum blamed me.

Each morning when I left my house, I’d tell my mum I was going to school when in fact I was actually meeting up with K. We bunked off school together nearly every day. We went to local parks and on the odd occasion to the shopping centre and do more than window-shop: we’d shoplift. When we went to school we’d try and sell what was left over to our class mates.

I knew I had to find some way of controlling my behaviour before it was too late. I looked at myself clearly and realised that parts of my life needed to change. I wanted to stop being K’s friend and when I told her she went totally the other way: she took it really badly and she started beating me up.

All she really wanted was a friend but she was stark raving mad.

We’d laugh and joke around with each other but when my back was turned she would tell lies about me to people.

I am totally disgusted by the way I used to be: what I got up to, the people I used to hang out with and the mischief I got up to. But I’m only ashamed because I knew what I was doing was wrong. Just because your friends are acting all bad, it doesn’t mean that you have to be the same. Most people would love to be caring, polite, well-mannered and honest.

“IT WAS LIKE SHE HAD SOME SORT OF POWER OVER ME” I didn’t understand why she was being like this but behaving in this way was like a project to me. I had to do whatever she told me to do. It was like she had some sort of power over me. I didn’t dare do anything else. But I could see a pattern appearing. No one would talk to me because they didn’t agree with who I was hanging out with.

I wasn’t only hurting myself but those around me that I loved. The effect that my behaviour had on my mum was really bad. Her skin began to dry up and the doctor told her that she was suffering

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So look at your friends. Are they really your friends? Do they care enough about you to be there when you need them?

You need to stop, think, understand where you’re going wrong and change your routine. Then the rest will just follow.

So don’t be afraid to ask for help if you start slipping back into your old ways because waking up in the morning will feel different once you’ve turned your life around.

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shelley

WRITTEN & DESIGNED

BY LEON MCADAM VIOLENT COMPUTER GAMES CORRUPT ALL OF US. The aim of the game Manhunt is to perform the most gruesome and horrific killings. The more vicious the killing, the more points scored by the player. Great training, if you want to be a hit man. One of the skills involves sneaking up behind a victim and suffocating them with a plastic bag. It’s the most realistic killing game ever, and it’s great.

17-year-old Warren Leblanc was said to be obsessed with Manhunt. He faces a life sentence for repeatedly battering his best friend with a claw hammer and then stabbing him to death. He had lured him to a park in Leicester, known locally as ‘The Dumps’, to meet girls.

The way he committed the murder is similar to how the game Manhunt is set out: killing people using weapons like

massacre at his high school on the anniversary of the Columbine killings.

Florida lawyer Jack Thompson blames Rockstar for both these incidents, and claims that Kerns was actually using Grand Theft Auto to train for the attack. Both cases were dismissed in favour of Rockstar.

Just before Christmas, Rockstar brought out Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, an upgraded version of the older games but with a lot more explicit language, blood, death, stealing, car-jacking, guns, sexual activities and drugs. This is definitely a

“IMAGINE: YOU WAKE UP TO FIND YOUR CHILD STANDING OVER YOU game for adults. Early editions came with WITH A BUTCHER KNIFE!” broken glass, hammers and knives. The game was released Christmas 2003, only to be withdrawn from sale in several shops by summer 2004 following accusations that it will be responsible for copycat violence.

The game is made by Rockstar and it’s not the first time they’ve been blamed for things like this. In 2002, two boys, aged 12 and 13, took a shotgun from one of the boys’ houses and fired rounds at passing motorists. They killed two people. In Massachusetts, teenager Tobin Kerns was arrested by police while planning a

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a San Andreas bandana which could be seen as encouraging people to take the game to the real-life streets.

San Andreas has an 18 certificate but a lot of young children are getting hold of it.

They ask older friends, brothers or sisters, their parents or are simply sold the games with no proof of age. The mother of a friend of mine bought his six-year-old brother a copy of San Andreas even though young kids are the most easily influenced of all. Just imagine: you’re sleeping and you wake up to find your child standing over you with a butcher knife!

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Lionel Eddy, 17, said: “Back in the days of the little black and white Game Boy and the Super Nintendo Entertainment System there was no blood, scary monsters, prostitution, murder, robbery or fighting, just cute, chunky characters that threw objects or balls and only occasionally jumped on their enemy’s heads.”

But the violence grows on you and most new games involve violence. Even the new car games are getting more ruthless.

The new Burnout 3: Takedown is a reckless driving game where the aim is not to win the race but to take out all your

opponents. Sounds like a war or fighting game doesn’t it?

Although concerned about the effect of violent games on impressionable youngsters, I love these games and I can’t wait for the next even more violent, even more realistic game to come out. I must be one of the people they’ve influenced! I don’t think I would, but if I ever did decide to kill someone then I could use these games to practice and perhaps I could use the bandana I got with San Andreas to cover up my face so people don’t know it’s me.

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BY KUBILAY OZPALAS ETHNIC MINORITY STUDENTS AREN’T DOING AS WELL AS THEY COULD DO IN SCHOOL. Haringey is a borough full of different races, religions and cultures. Three quarters of comprehensive school students in Haringey are from an ethnic background, four times the national average. According to the BBC, our GCSE results put us 132nd out of 150 boroughs.

Some ethnic minority students weren’t born in this country so, because English isn’t their first language, they might find some schoolwork difficult. Others have parents who can’t speak English very well and so might not get all the help they need at home. Then again, those students will probably grow up bilingual and their experience of different cultures and

But in a gang, the more people there are the more likely it is there’ll be someone who wants to start trouble. Everyone else just copies. Young people might be trying to protect themselves but if they’d rather be with their gang than in school, then they only end up harming themselves.

Because ethnic students might not think they’ll get good enough grades, they see no point in going to school and often end up bunking. If they see themselves in jobs that won’t require any qualifications, they drop out of school completely. They see their family as a safety net they’ll normally end up using. It’s the easy way out but often, it’s what their families want them to do.

A Turkish boy from Highgate Wood school said: “My parents don’t give me any options

“BECAUSE ETHNIC STUDENTS MIGHT NOT THINK THEY’LL GET GOOD ENOUGH GRADES, THEY SEE NO POINT IN GOING TO SCHOOL” countries might help them see the world in a different perspective. With all this they could be helping out society instead of joining gangs or bunking off school.

There’s nothing wrong with groups of people getting together if they stay out of trouble and abide by the law. Ethnic students are in a minority so they want to hang around with people from the same race as them to feel more secure. And it isn’t just kids. In Stamford Hill there are a lot of people who are Jewish.

In Tottenham lots of people are either African or Afro-Caribbean. Very old people like to hang around chattering to each other in supermarket aisles.

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apart from working in my dad’s kebab shop.

I chose Business and ICT for A Levels but only because I didn’t know what else to choose.”

Schools need to have more ways for students to find out about different careers.

There could be assemblies where people from different professions tell students what qualifications or skills are needed for their jobs. Then students would find out what they really want to know: how much money they get paid!

Schools have tried to hold sessions where students discuss what they want to do when they leave school. It might be better to have a family member in this meeting so that

kubilay

parents can also find out what options their child has. Parents have to put pressure on their child to study but they should also be aware of what their child wants to do and the work that needs to be done in school to get there.

We all know this but still some students don’t do the work in class or at home and don’t revise for exams. Perhaps they’re hoping they’ll win the lottery. The rest of us need to fix up and concentrate on our work, especially ethnic students.

All students need guidance to get on track.

You can have all the support you need but unless you are willing and determined to succeed at school, you won’t get anywhere.

Like everyone else, we’ve got something good to offer society and a bright future.

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Continued from page 14 especially th e very small Japane se lady yelling into a No matter ho m egaphone (a w nd many games sounding like I that played (bea love-it-or-hat ting e-it passenger 19 Crazy Frog m H, obile losing to pass ringtone). enger 23A) time still didn't No! I'd left m move quickly y sleeping bag enough. on the conveyor be lt!

But once the Imagining th plane e lonely touched do thing circling wn, I almost ran to endlessly roun d and collect my round, a frien dless backpack. It piece of ba came ggage first off the teasing othe r conveyor be passengers in lt: a to good omen thinking thei I'm r sure. Ready suitcase mig for the ht be first big wav next. Now, th e of The e best Meaning Of thing about Life, I Tokyo is stepped out th of the at hardly sliding doors into... a anybody spea ks bus terminal English, so I try . Not to the best first thumb throug sight, h my phrasebook and

point wildly at the Information Desk attendant. I felt close to giving up an d going hom e.

Maybe this w as a hint that I'm not cut ou t for this? This kind of trip is for undergradu ates: highachieving gi rls and boys with khakis an d compasses .

But after a lit tle more charades sh e understoo d and my prec ious cargo was retrieved .

At last, I was on a train heading tow ards the host el I'd booked fo r the week.

The Tokyo m etro system is unbelievable.

Think you've got the tube down to a tee? Add an other 400 stations, 10 lin es and no logic! I'd have difficulty describing th e organised chaos.

Yet, under To kyo' lights, I was on s neon my way.

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unlikely

average

BY DAVID WARRINGTON FROM ANCIENT EGYPTIAN OBELISKS TO NEW YORK SKYSCRAPERS, THE WORLD IS FULL OF ERECTIONS MEN WISHED THEY COULD HAVE. The Topinama Indians in Brazil used poisonous snakes and suffered six months of agony to get a bigger (and horribly swollen) penis. Some holy men in northern India carry heavy weights on the end of their penises. Over a lifetime, their penises can stretch up to three feet and are so thin they have to be tied up in knots and carried round in special baskets. And to this day adolescent males, finding themselves alone in their bedrooms, perform a popular ritual involving their penis, a ruler and a crushing sense of inadequacy.

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sponsored by:

The bad news is that miracle pills, pumps or surgery probably won’t work. The good news is that more than half of all men have an erect length of less than six inches. By a happy coincidence, most women’s vaginas are about five inches deep.

Anything extra just won’t fit and might even be painful for your partner. Since good sex is as much mental as physical, the way you use your penis, just like worrying about its size, is all in your head.

Another ancient ritual is still going strong.

Condoms have been used for hundreds of years to prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and pregnancy. Originally made of linen or animal tissue, most modern condoms are made from latex

david

David. “Don’t use oil based lubes such as massage oils, baby oil, suncream or salad cream or put lube on the inside. The condom will slip off. Use specially designed lubes like Pasante TLC or KY Jelly and use plenty of extra lube for anal sex. Never use two condoms because they will rub and split.

and come in all sorts of different sizes, shapes and flavours.

“Try different condoms and find one that suits you,” says David Cunliffe, of condom manufacturer Pasante. “Most people are not allergic to latex. If condoms give you a rash or make you itch, check to see whether you are using a spermicidally lubricated condom and try a nonspermicidal one instead. If this also affects you then there are two condoms not made of latex: Durex Avanti or Pasante Unique.”

Before you use any condom you should check its expiry date, make sure there are no holes in it and that it has a kitemark (which shows it meets certain safety standards). Be extra careful to check condoms bought from vending machines or websites.

“Condoms hardly ever split. If they split regularly you need to talk to someone about using them correctly because there is probably something wrong with how you are doing it.”

If a condom does split and it’s the only form of contraception being used, in order to prevent pregnancy the female should take the morning-after pill. If you’re under 18, it’s available for free from 4YP pharmacies in Enfield and Haringey.

“As soon as you've cum you should withdraw the penis before it goes soft, then ease the condom off making sure not to spill any of the cum. Tie it in a knot, put it in a tissue and throw it in the bin.”

If you’re embarrassed about buying condoms in a shop, you can get free condoms, more information and a demonstration with a polystyrene penis at a 4YP clinic, 4YP drop-in session or on the 4YP bus (see the Directory, p27).

“The best way to open condoms is to ease the condom to one side and then tear down the edge of the foil away from the

“THE WAY YOU USE YOUR PENIS, JUST LIKE WORRYING ABOUT ITS SIZE, IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD” serrated edge,” says David. “Hold the teat between the thumb and forefinger of one hand and use your other hand to roll the condom down the shaft of your penis.”

If the condom’s not rolling down properly it might be because you’ve got it upside down. Get a new condom and try again. If you just turn the old one round, any precum on your penis will now be on the outside of the condom, which misses the point of using it in the first place.

“Extra lubricant on the outside of the condom makes condoms even safer,” says

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BY SMOKEY ACCORDING TO THE POLICE, YOUNG PEOPLE AGED 12-20 ARE MORE LIKELY NOT JUST TO COMMIT BUT TO BE VICTIMS OF KNIFE CRIME.

Portable metal detectors called ferroguard machines and knife surrender bins are being used to cut the number of knives on the street.

Back in Jamaica, I had to use a knife on somebody. He just wanted to test me. He started running his gums and pulled a knife. I didn’t want to stab him so I cut his thumb and he dropped the blade. My friend beat him up and stamped on his face. When I came back over to England and I saw just as many people carrying knives, it wasn’t a shock to me. It seemed normal.

“Haringey has purchased two ferroguard machines,” says the Chief Inspector. “ We have used them in areas known as crime hotspots, most

“Operation Blunt is the Metropolitan Police’s response to knife carrying and knife related crime,” says Chief Inspector Gary Buttercase from the Community and Crime Reduction Team in Haringey. “One element is targeted towards young people as they are most at risk.

“IF YOU USE A KNIFE, YOU WILL GO TO PRISON AND THE MAXIMUM SENTENCE IS LIFE.” It has three strands: finding out who carries knives and why; education packages for schools and educating retailers into responsible selling; and enforcement.”

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sponsored by:

Haringey Safer Schools Project

smokey

recently at Wood Green Tube Station in February. A knife surrender offers knife carriers the opportunity of disposing of knives they no longer want. We currently have knife surrender bins at Hornsey, Tottenham and Wood Green Police Stations.

We would encourage people to use them to get knives off the street. The surrender will last until at least midMay.” Most people that carry knives are as scared for themselves as the victim is.

Especially rookies. Rookies with knives think they’re bad because they might have robbed someone of some change or a phone. But really they’re frightened and all they’re thinking about is trying their best not to get caught.

“The penalties on conviction for knife possession are not as harsh as we would like,” says the Chief Inspector.

“But we are working with the courts to have them increased.

Many more people die through knives than guns in the UK yet the sentencing is less. This will change. If you use a knife, you will go to prison and the maximum sentence is life.”

I’ve only spent two days in custody and I never want to spend that much time in a cell again. I cant imagine going to prison. People carry knives because the people they hang around with. They think it’s the only way to survive in the ghetto. It’s not. You could just mind your business. But when you see your friends talking about robbing people, starting gang wars with other crews or schools and sometimes killing people it’s like you’re brainwashed with their rubbish. Then there’s people that are just frightened for their safety.

“A knife offers little protection if it is taken from the holder and turned upon them,” says the Chief Inspector. “There is no defence in law which allows people to carry any weapons for their own protection, only what is referred to as ‘instant arming’ where you grab something close by to defend yourself.

If some people adopt the attitude of carrying knives for protection then soon everyone will feel they need to do so too and it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

“The best advice is to tell someone in authority if you know someone is carrying a knife and let them be dealt with lawfully.”

Innocent people are hurt the most by knife crime. Cut it out.

TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT KNIVES AND THE LAW, GO TO: WWW.SAFERSCHOOLPARTNERSHIPS.ORG/EXTRAS/DOC UMENTS/KNIVESHANDOUT.DOC 19

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PROBLEMS

DEEP THINKING

Here thinking I’m not being noticed.

Little do you know That I’m really focussed As I watch on at my surroundings.

So many problems.

That’s what I’m observing.

Girls watch me like they’re threatened: Pick me and put me down.

Look their egos strengthened.

As I walk on by they stand and screw.

I feel intimidated and I shout out ‘FOOL’.

My hairs to the side And yours in the middle.

It’s not right to assume I know the street lingo ‘Coz I’m rockin’ the latest garmz Girls want to start arms And start confusion.

Is not my style.

To hurt someone intentionally Is really not my style.

For people with problems It’s worthwhile.

I lay back in my room And I spark one up.

No one there.

No one to interrupt.

As I watch the Rizla burn With the cherry on the top I fall back into a life that’s a complete flop.

The feeling of green hits my brain And my senses start to numb and feel no pain.

My eyes get heavier as every pull is taken And my mind leaves this world of heartbreaking.

Getting away To an unknown place Getting away from this life that’s a race.

Feeling senseless.

Feeling high.

Get buzzing and lean.

If it’s only for a couple of hours, Say what you actually mean.

Anyway, Life is a lie in itself.

Deep thinking.

SAMANTHA AKINULI

FUNDA CETINKAYA

samantha

jamal

funda

WHAT DO YOU DO?

THINGS CHANGE

What do you do when you have the best friends in the world and you still feel lonely ?

I’ve seen my friends turn from good boys to hood rats;

What do you do when nothing means anything but yet you have everything?

What do you do?

What do you do when it feels like your life has been stolen and you are not in control?

But you are always in control of yourself!

What do you do if you aren't ?

What do you do when your mind questions your reality?

What do you do if your brain does not think what you want it to?

What do you do if your mouth does not speak the words you want to say?

What do you do if your ears fail to listen to your heart?

And what do you do if your heart cries uncontrollable crimson tears?

What do you do when there is nothing you can do?

BELIEVE.

Always ending up in trouble, always ending up in traps, Wishing that they had a gat, Run if they see a gat, Soon to be in hospital ‘cause their enemy had a gat.

One friend I’ve got, That I’ve known since we were boys, He’s slowly messing up, Seeing weapons as toys.

Shifted more then once and in more trouble then I thought, ‘Cause if he gets into trouble again he’s going into court.

He’s not learning his lesson, even though he gets shifted, I told him to stop he said: “crime is addictive”.

He was gifted At some lessons but that side is now gone.

It’s a shame ‘cause he can’t stop doing wrong.

JAMAL GAYLE

ANONYMOUS

Send your poems with your name and address. Contact details: page 2

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A bus recently knocked down and dragged along my boyfriend. It was pretty serious but he’s recovered now. The problem is he’s changed. He’s died his hair bright blonde and acts crazy all the time to make people laugh. He thinks he’s Eminem! My friends thinks he’s really funny and they tell me I’m so lucky but he’s not romantic anymore.

I can’t even remember the last time we kissed.

I am just about to get killed by my parents. I had a party while they were away for the weekend and now the house smells like weed, there are drinks everywhere, my mum’s ceramic hair straighteners are gone and someone’s melted some fat candles onto my dad’s brand new record deck. It cost £2000 and now it’s covered in wax. My parents are at the door!

What do I do?.

You have three options: one, make for the back door. Two, stand there denying you had anything to do with it and prepare for a big argument in which you shout about wanting to be treated like an adult while your parents slowly squeeze the whole horrible truth out of you. Three, skip all that by immediately saying you’re sorry, you’ve learnt your lesson and you should be grounded without pocket money until you’ve learned enough respect to be left on your own again.

I was going out with this girl for a few months but she dumped me. She said I was boring just because we never spoke or met up outside of school. To make her jealous I went back out with my ex. What a mistake that was! But I can’t dump her again: I feel too sorry for her.

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sean

marina

Don’t you know how tough it can be imitating international rap stars?

There’s the long dull hours of the tour bus, a different hotel room in a different city every night, mobs of teenage girls and paparazzi and, if you’re pretending to be Eminem, having to stand up every time they play that ‘Would The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up’ song. And all that after being knocked down by a bus. Give him a break.

I’m 16 years old and I just can’t stop spending money.

Every weekend I buy more shoes, handbags and tops even though I can’t afford it.

I’ve already spent all the money I’ve been saving for college but if I stopped my friends would desert me. I’d be all alone and the only thing that would cheer me up would be... more shopping. It’s a no-win situation.

What do I do?

You need to think about who your true friends really are. Your true friends are small thin pieces of plastic called ‘credit cards’.

They are what other people use to buy things they can’t afford. You have to be 18 to have a credit card but until then at least you’ll feel better knowing you already have one Manolo Blahnik in the grave of consumer debt.

You should feel sorry for her if she’s desperate enough to go out with you twice! If you never even speak outside school what exactly do you do with your girlfriends? Take them out for school dinners? You should break up and say: ‘it’s not you. It’s me’ and actually mean it. She’ll always go out with you again anyway.

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Reviews MAGIX RINGTONE MAKER

PC 18 MARCH £19.99 Make your own ringtones in seconds without fees, subscriptions or downloads.

MAGIX Ringtone Maker allows you to create your own ringtones on a PC by importing from CDs or music files from the internet. You can chop a song into little bits, add effects and even remix, then send it to your phone by Bluetooth, infra-red or USB. We’ve got a copy to give away. Simply answer the following question and phone, email or post the answer to Exposure (see p2 for contact info): What percentage of secondary school students have a mobile phone?

A. 10 B. 50 C. 90 The winner will be drawn from the correct entries in April.

DAVID WARRINGTON

SHAKESPEARE, THE ANIMATED TALES (3 DVD BOX SET) 24 MARCH £39.99 The Animated Tales are twelve 30 minute animated adaptations of the most popular Shakespeare plays including Macbeth, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet and Othello.

The adaptations bring out the main points in the stories and because they’re cartoons they’re not boring. They’re in old, Shakespearean English. That, and the very abstract animation in some of the plays, like Macbeth, could make it very hard to understand for younger people.

But this is well worth the money, very entertaining and could be helpful the next time you do Shakespeare at school.

ROCCO SIMEONE

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nick

gary

SECOND SIGHT PC OUT NOW Your standard computer superhero is defunct. Enter John Vattic… psychically.

Second Sight is your standard run-around-and-solve-puzzles palaver but instead of guns and fists, your hero’s primary weapon is PSI (moving stuff with your mind, like Yoda). Then there’s the double time-lined intertwining narrative featuring Vattic, if you can get your noodle round that one.

Its visually appealing, using the cartoon feel of Timesplitters rather than your more ‘humanlooking’ games. But it’s the freedom that Second Sight offers the player that’s the true beauty of this game: pick up a radioactive barrel, using your kinetic powers, lift it over an unsuspecting guard’s head, shoot it with your handgun in one fluid motion and let the falling debris dispose of Mr Henchman. Mental.

GARY FLAVELL

POCKET ROCKET 5 MARCH £249 The Pocket Rocket looks like a Superbike but it’s the size of a small dog. Our review model had a half-flat front tyre, the red bodywork was all scratched up and the battery was almost dead. And they didn’t provide us with a charger in case we tried to ride it to Southend to show our little engine off to all the girls.

But even a shiny new, fully charged Pocket Rocket will be overtaken by old ladies in electric mobility chairs on the way back from Bingo. Even this close to the floor, 12 mph is not fast. You can’t even do wheelies, back-stops or wheel burns.

It was fun riding it round outside, and more fun back indoors when we created an OfficeFurniture Slalom, but I’d rather put the £250 towards a 50cc ‘ped. At least you can fit a girl on the back.

NICK MAY

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Events FILM FESTIVAL

The Co-operative Young Film-Makers Festival will be held at Bradford's National Museum of Photography, Film and Television in October. Last year's festival attracted over 330 entries including documentaries, comedies, animations and dramas. More than 100 films were shown at the event and around 1,000 young film-makers saw their work on the big screen, took part in masterclasses, met special guests and swapped ideas.

There are no categories, anyone under 21 can enter and there is no overall winner.

Entries should be no more than six-minutes long and submitted before the 27 June.

For further details contact Phaedra Patrick on 0161 246 2216, visit www.film-makers.coop.co.uk or email film.makers@co-op.co.uk

RA RULES

HOMEWORK CLUB

Haringey Shed Theatre Company are performing their new show, Ra Rules, as part of this year’s Festival of London Youth Arts (FLYA).

The show is a collaboration between the young performers and theatre practitioners of Haringey Shed and the writer of Bob the Builder.

It’s about Egyptian deities who come to earth to launch a PR initiative on behalf of the sun god Ra. Their efforts backfire when the lessthan-impressed mortals stage a revolt.

When thinking up excuses for not doing homework gets harder than actually doing it, you need to join the homework club. All students between 10 and 16 years old can attend whenever they need to.

The cast of sixty Haringey youngsters, aged from 11 to 16, are hopeful they’ll be selected for a FLYA award and the chance to perform an excerpt from the production at a special event at the Royal Festival Hall.

Ra Rules is at the Millfield Theatre, Edmonton on April 18 and 19.

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The Homework Club will teach young people study skills, encourage healthy lifestyles, promote drug awareness and advise on coping with a whole range of personal issues.

4.00 - 6.00pm Tuesday and Thursday, Wood Green Central Library, inside the gallery.

directory

YOUTH CLUBS Muswell Hill Youth Centre Hillfield Park, Muswell Hill Tel: 020 8883 5855 Bruce Grove Youth Project 10 Bruce Grove, Tottenham Tel: 020 8808 1604 Wood Green Area Youth Project New River Sports Complex, White Hart Lane Tel: 020 8489 8940 / 020 8489 8942 SEXUAL HEALTH 4YP Haringey Tuesday 2.30-4.30pm St Ann’s Sexual Health Centre, St Ann’s Hospital, St Ann’s Road Tottenham N15 3TH Tel: 020 8442 6605/6536.

4YP Drop-in Sessions: Northumberland Park Monday 3.30-6.30pm Aspire Youth Project, Kenneth Robins House, 240 Northumberland Park Rd, N17 0BX.

Wood Green Wednesday 3.30-6.30pm Sky City Community Centre, (Wood Green Shopping City), 65 Penwortham Court, 50 Mayes Road, Wood Green, N22 6SR. 4YP Bus Tel: 0800 1613 715 www.4yp.co.uk

STAFF Andreas Koumi Jon Golds Enrico Tessarin Luke Pantelidou

Young Mums To Be Alexandra Court 122-124 High Road Wood Green Tel: 020 8889 0022 Outzone For gay and bisexual men under 26 www.outzone.org.uk MENTAL HEALTH Antenna 9 Bruce Grove, Tottenham Tel: 020 8365 9537 www.antennaoutreach.co.uk email: info@antennaoutreach.co.uk Host Excel House, 312 High Road, Tottenham Tel: 020885 8160 LEARNING DISABILITIES Markfield Project Markfield Road, Tottenham Tel: 020 8800 4134 DRUGS AND ALCOHOL Step-ahead 40 Bromley Road, Tottenham Tel: 020 8493 8525 Turning Point The Old Health Clinic Suttton Road, Muswell Hill Tel: 020 8883 8887 HAGA 590 Seven Sisters Road, Tottenham Tel: 020 8800 6999 Freephone Child helpline: 0800 389 5257

about us Gary Flavell Ryan Alexander Mirella Issaias

Michael Rally David Warrington Liz Millar

is a registered trademark of Exposure Organisation Limited, registered in England no. 3455480, registered charity no. 1073922.

The views expressed in Exposure do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. (c) 2005. All rights reserved. ISSN 1362-8585 AWARDS Purple Youth Award for best youth representation website London Electricity Londoner of the Year Award Nationwide Award for Voluntary Endeavour Phillip Lawrence Award Ed & F Man Award for Best London Youth Publication

ADVERTISING If your organisation wants to get its message across to young people call 020 8883 0260

PRINTERS Miter Press Ltd, Miter House, 150 Rosebery Avenue, N17 9SR Tel: 020 8808 9776

HERB ONLINE www.herbonline.info EMERGENCY HOUSING Shelterline Tel: 0808 800 4444 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Hearthstone 10 Commerce Road, Wood Green Tel: 020 8888 5362 SCHEMES AND PROGRAMMES Duke of Edinburgh Award New River Sports Complex, White Hart Lane Tel: 020 8489 8941 / 07967 336 338 e2e Alexandra Court 122-124 High Road Wood Green Tel: 020 8889 0022 Keep It Simple Training Sentinel House 1 Ashley Road Tottenham Hale Tel: 0871 200 2321 Prince’s Trust Old Fire Station Tottenham Green Enterprise Centre Town Hall Approach Road Tel: 020 8375 3420 BTCV Millenium Volunteers Tel: 020 7843 4292 / 7843 4291 E-mail: mv-london@btcv.org.uk www.mv-london.org.uk Tottenham Connexions Centre 560-568 High Road Tottenham Tel: 020 8808 0333

DISCLAIMER Exposure aims to give young people an independent voice which can contribute to the democratic process.

We apologise for any offence caused by the way young people choose to express themselves.

While Exposure has done its best to check material contained within this publication, we cannot accept responsibility for inaccurate information provided by outside organisations. Organisations mentioned are not necessarily connected with nor endorsed by Exposure.

Permission has been sought, wherever possible, for the use of copyright material. Where contact has not been possible we hope that, as a voluntary organisation helping to educate and inform young people, it is acceptable for Exposure to use such material for the benefit of young people. If this is not the case please let us know and any such copyright material will be removed from future publications with our apologies.

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