The Experience Magazine [SUMMER 17]

MIRROR MIRROr WHAT DO YOU SEE

T I M E S

PRODUCTIONS

hltaeHlatneM

MentalHealth

Act1

ABeautifulDeath

BLESS MY SOUL EXTEND YOUR ARMS I’M COLD HOLD ME FOR HALF HOUR TIL I’M WHOLE

NO I’M NOT POISON I’M NOT POISON

dear mama , you are appreciated

MENTALILLNESS is NOT

CRAZY CONTENTS

P. 12 - Editor’s Note P.16 - Act 1 A Beautiful Death P.18 - Ayo What’s Hood Part 1 P.20 - Expression P. 28 - 2 Years Later P. 36- Bello Ame P. 44 - DONNIE P 50 - Seven P. 56 - Surviving to Thrive P. 62 - Nothing Great Dies P. 70 - This is the BRONX P. 80 - Coffee Brown Gangsta P. 86 - Act 2 The Bull & The Matador P. 90 - Kadeem vs the World P. 98 - Ayo What’s Hood Part 2 P. 104 - Defying Gravity P. 113 - INSANITY P. 114 - The Goddess Box P. 122 - Solaris Interlude P. 124- Trap 3X P. 130 - Act 3 DEBBIE P. 132 - Birth of Venus P. 142 - 72 Inches of Melanin P. 150 - James Bong P. 158 - DEBBIE cont...

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Do YoUR oWN P

ROCIO

PRoPAGANDA

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EDITOR' S NOTE I FEEL LIKE YOU AINT SHIT CLAIMING REVOLUTION YOU STILL HAVEN’T FOUND IT I BLAME YOU I SHAME YOU LAUGH WHEN PEOPLE SHOW LOVE TO YOU YOU AREN’T ANYTHING SPECIAL YOU SEE THERE’S LEVELS I CAN REMIND YOU OF SEVERAL TIMES WHERE YOU FAILED TO SAVE YOUR OWN FOLKS EACH PERSON or ARTIST YOU HELP THE MISERY & PAIN EXPLODES IN THE ONES YOU LOVE THE MOST DON’T LET THESE ARTIST FOOL YOU U AIN’T NO LEADER NOBODY NEEDS YOU SO GO AHEAD AND CRY THIS SHIT WAS MEANT TO BE IN TIME I’LL TAKE AWAY YOUR MISERIES AND MAKE THEM MINE

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Miami Beach

M December 7-10, 2017 14

SUMMER 2017 | THE EXPERIENCE MAGAZINE | SEASON V

EDITOR || JAY STONE EXECUTIVE EDITOR || DAN “THE BAD ONE” ASSISTANT EDITOR || KIARA VENTURA OF ARTSY WINDOW ASSISTANT CREATIVE DIRECTOR || JASMINE CHRISPIN PHOTOGRAPHY || ROD PORTER & NELSON MEDINA

CONTRIBUTORS VINCENTE MATOS SOLARIS SAPIENTE REBEL KITTY LEIGH ADRIANA RODRIGUEZ COVER ART & PORTRAIT OF JAY STONE BY ROCIO MARIE

MENTALILLNESS is NOT

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I moved back to ground zero Mom & grandma don’t seem to care Not one question as to how I seem to got here?

What a time to be alive I’m FINALLY the man And I haven’t even peaked Overwhelmed with much love & admiration I receive Yet shit still feels empty to me I can’t breathe “the tears began to well I just fight them “ I can’t sleep Nite demons terrorize As the pains becoming too much to hide I keep quiet All there is, is work Free my people “What they won’t know won’t hurt them I Pledge to never be anyone’s burden” Stay alive NO PRESSURE! “U was meant to be great” Living up to high expectations with a fucked up mind state .

It’s suppose to be this way Black men don’t cry

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Ayo What’s Hood ?

A Conversation with The Black American Ghetto

“Pretty city, skyscrapers will fool you, look through to Inner cities the rich won’t move to The nice parts, they well-protected by a vanguard The opposite of how these concentration camps are Low-income housing, it dwells murderers But children don’t qualify for health services The bourgeois act like they don’t see starvations Like they spraying Estée Lauder on sanitation” Nas

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BLAC JS: First let me say thank you so much for giving me the chance to sit & chat with you.

G: No doubt man, the world needs to hear my story especially at this critical time we’re facing.

JS: Indeed... what exactly do you need to get off your chest that you want us to hear?

G: The thing is, only people who live in me know me on a deep, intimate level. Everyone else only know what I look like based on what they see on TV. However, many, many people don’t understand who I am and how I play a role in the destruction of a whole group of people.

JS: How important is it that they fully understand you & how you came to be?

G: Important? Its IMPERATIVE!! Especially for this new wave of “consciouness” that has been rising. They’ve been force fed a hyperexaggerated, troubling portrait of who I am. If these issues aren’t dealt with, it will continue a cycle in which we are participants in our own destruction, which of course is by design. In order to understand part of who they are, they have to understand me.

JS: Who are these people?

G: All kinds of people! Geniuses, brave, beautiful, nerds, doctors, the ill, crazy, scholars, athletes, everyone, lovers, EVERYONE!

The common denominator; they are all financially poor brown and latino people.

To Be Continued....

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KIMBERLY CELESTE

BY KIARA VENTURA

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“Art is therapeutic for me,” Kimberly Celeste Cruz, a 21-yearold artist from the Bronx, said. When she feels the need to relieve stress, her automatic response is to grab her sketchbook. She is known for realistically drawing female figures and portraits with an emphasis on the form as she makes use of clean simplistic lines. Her works unapologetically display her feminist and liberal point of views through blunt statements that accompany the drawings. Celeste has openly confronted issues surrounding self-esteem, feminism, female masterbation, sexuality, sexual consent, mental illness, and more in her work.

In high school, Cruz dedicated herself to learning the art of realism and finding her own artistic style. Her work was first featured in ArtsyWindow`s Treat Yo Self art show in April 2017 and recently in Fantasy in Color art events. Celeste is very open about her struggle with two mental illnesses, depression and anxiety, on social media in hopes of spreading awareness. She says that the main message she would like to send to people who are struggling with their mental health is that “you are not alone.”

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KV: What are some major themes in your work?

KC: Being a Latina, growing up in the Bronx, and being a woman in general is really hard.

I’ve had experiences where men have made me feel extremely uncomfortable whether it had to do with them touching me, they way they spoke to me, or even the way they looked at me. And then being Latina, people have so many expectations for me. They shouldn’t have expectations of me simply because of where I come from. And then people ask me,“Oh where are you from?”

When I say that I am from the Bronx, some people have this immediate shut down towards me. Just because I am from the Bronx doesn’t mean I don’t have the potential to be somebody. In my work, I`m really big on hardships that women and people of color face.

KV: What would you say is your main motivation behind drawing?

KC: It stems from many things. It comes from the aspects of my life like my mental illnesses, my parents, or getting some form of relief for myself. My motivation comes from my personal desire of wanting to be able to grow as a person. The longer I draw and the more I draw, I can see my progress and I’m proud and appreciative of that.

KV: I feel that. I’ve realized that art has two effects. It does something for you personally and then it has interactions with whoever is seeing it. What would you say is your goal for your audience? How do you want them to feel when they are looking at your work?

KC: I want the audience to at least feel some type of way. I appreciate it if you agree. Even if you don’t understand it, I want you to learn from it. I add these statements next to the drawing so that the message can be somewhat clearer to the audience. In my case, I want my messages to be out there and in your face. I want my audience to teach their children about it so that the upcoming generations will know better than ours. I really appreciate it when people look at my work and they are like,”Oh, yes I totally fucks with this.” And I`m like, “Yes, I`m glad you see this and understand! This is what I want.” I want society to change and be more accepting so

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we can treat each other better. I aim for my audience to be more accepting through my work.

KV: You are very open on social media about your struggle with two mental illnesses. How have they affected you?

KC: In 2008, while I was in middle school, I was diagnosed with severe depression. At the time I was very confused because I was so in denial. I dealt with it by going to therapy and being on antidepressants for a while. I actually stopped being on medication. It has been a year and five months. Through time, I learned to accept it and not be in denial and simply be open about it. I can easily tell people, “I suffer from depression and it’s totally okay.” I have my days where I do not want to get out of bed and I have days where I am so energetic and I need to get out the house.

When I do feel down, I talk to people about it and do what I like to do, like draw the whole day. Sometimes I’ll just sit there and cry for hours. I feel like you need to acknowledge your sadness. You shouldn’t`t feel like, “No I can’t feel sad today. I need to feel happy. I need to find a distraction.” I`d rather just let it all out and let myself feel sad because it is going to be okay at the end of the day. You need to remind yourself that you do have support and you are not alone. So many people suffer from it [depression]. It is totally normal.

I was diagnosed with anxiety in 2015. I noticed that certain things would trigger my anxiety such as family issues, past experiences, my self-esteem that was a result of me being emotionally abused in a past relationship, and things like that. When I do have anxiety, my body tends to shake, I feel hot and cold at the same time, my heart rate increases, I don’t want to talk, and I sometimes start to cry because I am panicking. I was also put on meds for that as well. But then I got off of those too because, again, I felt the need to acknowledge the way I am feeling. I accepted that this is a part of me. Just accepting it has helped me a lot. I feel that you shouldn’t be ashamed of having some type of mental illness. At the end of the day, it does not define who you are but it has become a part of you.

It is important at least for me to make those

THIS IS DESIGNED THIS WAY ON PURPOSE

SO THAT YOU PAY ATTENTION

TO THE REAL SHIT SHES SAYING

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who have mental illnesses just feel like they have someone and that they are okay. There is a whole stigma behind mental illness. A lot of people like to call us ‘crazy` and `psycho’ but they don’t even know what it is like. It`s very offensive because they do not know what we are going through. It is very exhausting for us personally especially when we have those days where we are down.

KV: How has dealing with your mental illnesses affected your art?

KC: When I know that I don’t feel well, my automatic response to that is to get my sketchbook. Or at least have it next to me to have some sort of comfort. In terms of my artwork, I am comfortable putting some parts of me in my art and some parts of my depression and anxiety are also in those works.

Because I know exactly how I feel about the topics I draw about and drawing about them sometimes triggers my depression and anxiety. And that’s how I know it is real. If I have strong feelings about the work while I’m drawing, I am even more inspired to finish it so that people can see it and feel affected by it as well.

KV: If you could tell someone who is struggling with their mental health and wants to pursue art, what would you tell them?

KC: Take advantage of your creativity because you never know how you are going to feel when you are done doing what you are going to do. Whether that be through dancing, music, drawing, writing….I feel like it’s very important to acknowledge the way you are feeling for your mental illness and well being. It is very important to just let it out.

When I am feeling down and I draw, I feel like my drawings come out better than what I first imagined. I feel like, “Wow, I put all of myself into this piece and I feel really good about what I just made.” So I would say that you should acknowledge how you feel, accept it, and know that are you not alone.

=

expression.

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you shouldn’t be ashamed of having some type of mental illness.

I felt the need to acknowledge the way I am feeling expression.

SUMMER 2017 | THE EXPERIENCE MAGAZINE | SEASON V

instagram.com/kimberlyfuckingceleste 27

Kathy Mathews

PHOTOGRAPHY

BY JAY STONE

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BY JAY STONE

2 YEARS LATER “My sunflower field would be absolute happiness, without worries or self-doubt. “

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JS: In your film “2 Years Ago” you mention being under intense pressure about getting into the medical field. This among other things led to periods of a down state. I read that you wrote that being angry and lost led to basically your artistic beginnings. At what point did you come to the realization that this field was what you wanted to pursue?

KM: I think it was when I was at the lowest point in my life.

I came to a realization that I didn’t want to feel this way anymore, and that doesn’t mean that I can’t live anymore. I can just change my way of living and do things that I desire to do, rather than things I am forced to do. I grew up singing and dancing in competitions, but when it came to deciding what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, I pursued art because all of these things are categorized under art. Music, photography, blogging and painting are characterized as an aspect of art.

Now I don’t have to get specific enough to know what I want to do in the art field till I explore each part of it. I want to be certain on what I am good at and what I enjoy doing. Right now, I am leaning towards painting and film making.

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JS: For those who might not know, tell us the significance of the hand you drew.

KM: Last summer, I got into a fight with my family about how frustrated I was about myself.

All my friends around me, and my family are pursuing a career in the medical field, and I’m the only one who hasn’t decided anything yet. I remember taking a shower that night and hitting my hands towards the shower head wall. I came out with red hands, and pink marks. I was crying desperate for answers from myself. So I sat down and opened up my journal. I drew exactly what I saw, and showed my best friend, Ian, the hand I drew. And that is when he asked if I could pursue a career in art.

That night is when everything started.

SUMMER 2017 | THE EXPERIENCE MAGAZINE | SEASON V

2 YEARS LATER

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JS: I believe you might be the first artist / personality? (That’s not something a person is but bare with me here) I’ve ever featured. You illustrate, blog, VLOG, do film-making, etc. Is it hard keeping up with each of these aspects you bring to us on a regular?

KM: I don’t really find it art to keep up with, because I revolve my life around each aspect. I vlog every week, I blog every night, and I paint to inspire. It’s become a routine for me, and I really enjoy it. There aren’t that many people in my community and ethnicity who are doing the same, so that motivates me to know that I can start something new or a trend to help people get out of their shells. We wake up everyday to create something. And that thing can inspire a lot of people.

JS: Tell us about why you starting Vlogs and how that might help others who go through tough periods of depression and loneliness, start opening up conversations with others.

KM: I actually started vlogs in January, because I wanted to feel less alone. Of course, I wanted to put myself out there for the art community, but it was also something for myself because I just wanted to let

people know that things are not the way it seems. I would say, I’m a very outgoing and loud person, but when it comes to being by myself, I tend to be very quiet and spacey. I want to be someone people can relate to, and it’s honestly been really great that last seven months.

I’ve heard from a lot of people about how I’ve changed their life perspectives and way of living. My film was a big deal for me, because it was the first time I cried on camera. That emotion and feeling is what I want my followers to see and feel with me. It’s not often you see people put their emotions out there, because it is a quiet topic. But I want to be able to talk about it. I want people to know that they are not alone. Everyone goes through it.

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katmatxx.com

JS: Have you found your sunflower field?

KM” First I’ll define a sunflower field. My sunflower field would be absolute happiness, without worries or self-doubt. I know I haven’t gotten there yet, but I am definitely on my way. In my film, the main outcome was to let people know that “you never stop growing”. This means that everyday you learn something new about yourself. You are in control of your emotions and the way you pursue anything in your life. Therefore, I would never stop finding myself. It’s a lifelong journey. Constantly being happy, and spreading positivity around you is the only way you’ll get there.

JS: I seen that The Grind’s Art Party that happened literally a few months ago was your first time ever showing work! Congrats, first off! How has the art scene been treating you so far this year and what are your plans going forward?

KM: That was actually my first ever art show! I was very happy and excited for that one. I will never forget the friends and family who came to support me that night. I have met so many talented artists this year, and I can’t wait to collaborate with more!

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SUMMER 2017 | SEASON V

NICOLE BELLO

nb

BelloAme HIIIGHERLEARNING 36

I was miserable.

I was doing everything for other people nothing for myself creating, whatever I was feeling LIBERATED ME

INTERVIEW: JAY STONE | PHOTOGRAPHY: NELSON MEDINA

JS: You’re one of my new favorite artists! The way you illustrate very real emotions is always crazy dope to me. I’m always seeing your work and going back to older works. I can tell you’re centered. You have a great sense of who you are and it shows. How do you feel about your work?

NB: Thank you, honestly it means so much for you to feel that way about my work. I think that art definitely keeps me centered. I like to create pieces that speak to my viewers, on an emotional level. I think my goal is to make art that will make others connect with themselves. A lot of times we forget to just take a moment and assess how we are feeling. Some of us forget how to feel entirely, its like we don’t have time to feel emotions. Being “emotional” has such a bad stigma attached to it, when in reality there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. We all feel things, some of us differently. I think how we deal with them is what is important. So when my work has done the job of making someone else think about his or her deepest inner feelings, I feel accomplished. I don’t think anyone understands how excited I get when I see that something I’ve created has connected to the viewer. I started painting a year ago, when things weren’t going the best in my life. I was actually dealing with a lot of anxiety and turned to art as a way to cope with those issues. That’s why if just one of my works can do what it did for me for someone else, then it makes being an artist worth it.

JS: One of my favorite works of yours is the one titled after someone’s confession, “I don’t want to end up like my father. I actually want to have a strong relationship with my kids.

I want to love and enjoy my life.” It immediately connected with me since as a man who didn’t have his father around, I always told myself; I would never repeat his ultimate mistake. How does it feel to be putting those feelings on canvas?

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HIIIGHERLEARNING So I guess I should first explain where the confession came from. For one of my Art Shows I really wanted to do something different, something that would help me connect with other people through my art and for others to connect with themselves because of art. I came up with the idea to create paintings based off of anonymously submitted confessions. With the help of Kiara Ventura, (AKA ArtsyWindow) we successfully made it happen. Kiara beautifully curated the space and I created the confession pieces. I painted 16 different confessions and the work that spoke out to you was one of the hardest to paint. To convey such raw emotions and to convey it well enough that it’s able to have an effect on others, wasn’t easy. It was mentally challenging to try to put myself in another person’s shoes. But to have a finished product that delivers the message is absolutely rewarding. Plus the vibes at the exhibition were like no other; everyone was connecting and sharing their feelings. We had the audience participate in an activity where they anonymously wrote a confession on a piece of paper and we re-handed the paper out to a random person. We then gave everyone the chance to respond to the confession they received which made the atmosphere pretty emotional. Some people even came out and said “Wow, that was my confession!”

It’s a humbling feeling when a simple painting on a canvas can bring out reactions towards art that they’ve never experienced before.

JS: You almost gave up art while going through a lot of heavy situations. What brought you back? How did it end up being the perfect coping mechanism for the things you were dealing with?

NB: When I was younger, I would spend any free time I had sketching and collaging. I had an art teacher who took interest in me when I was in middle school. She wanted me to join her art club with the hopes that I could create an art portfolio and apply to a visual art High School. But unfortunately I had parents that were very ignorant to the idea of me pursing anything that had to do with art. I grew up in an extremely Dominican household, where I was taught traditional values. One value in particular was that I had to obtain a job that paid me “good money.” In their eyes being an artist was not one of those professions. So they were against me applying to a visual arts high school. Sometimes those closest to you will try to suppress your abilities and even kill your dreams. And its not because they have bad intentions, it’s because they don’t know any better. Although my parents didn’t want me to go to an art high school, I continued sketching and creating art on my spare time. And then things at home got tough, my mom was going through depression and any spare time I had I devoted to her. I was forced to stop creating any art and for a while I was stuck in an overwhelming routine. At this point I was in my freshman year of college working two full time

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BelloAme jobs to pay the bills and attending college full time. I was miserable. I was doing everything for other people and nothing for myself. I finally just realized that I couldn’t continue living like that, unhappy and unfulfilled. I took steps to trying to feel like myself again, I quit both jobs and just focused on school. I sketched here and there but didn’t dedicate myself to painting until a year ago. My anxiety was making me ill, I was physical drained all the time and sadness would hit me like a ton of bricks and cause me to isolate myself for days. I was frustrated with myself for feeling bad all the time so I turned to painting to help with all the frustration. It became my safe place. I would focus all my negative energy into creating, whatever I was feeling I would put on the canvas and something about doing this, liberated me. It’s like I was going to therapy on the canvas. Each bit of paint I applied healed me.

Today I still paint my feelings but I also paint to soothe others souls.

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art can return life to you IT DID FOR ME 40

creating, whatever I was feeling LIBERATED ME

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SUMMER 2017 | THE EXPERIENCE MAGAZINE | SEASON V JS: How do you normally start the process behind a piece?

NB: I first start by figuring out where in my apartment I’m going to paint. Although I have an easel set up in my living room, I often find myself painting on the floor with paint scattered everywhere. Something about being surrounded by a huge mess of art supplies gives me comfort. Regardless of the time of day I start painting, I need to have my cup of Café Bustelo, black with 2 sugars. It’s also essential for me to have some music playing. If I’m not painting to music then I’m painting to a show on Netflix. But as for the creative process itself, a lot of thought goes behind the actual pieces I make because I want for them to have a back-story; something that makes them unique. They also must contain some sort of message for my audience. That’s always the hardest part, figuring out what I want to express on the canvas.

JS: How do you interpret your piece “The Human Condition” ? …..and “Woke The Fuck Up” ?

NB: “The Human Condition” and “Woke The Fuck Up” Are both Robot pieces that actually have the BelloAme logo I created. BelloAme is my artist brand and the logo is essentially a painters’ palette within a heart. The Robot’s represent me as well as others who become numb and behave robotically. We shut off our emotions and lose touch with humanity and ourselves. I’m trying to critique this behavior by painting the robot with a human heart. At the end of the day we are all breathing, living humans who feel.

JS: I can probably go on forever but lets just end here! What’s the message you always want your audience to leave with?

NB: Thank you, I’m so humbled. I really appreciate your interest in my art Jason. I know I’ve said this to you before, but you’re one of the dopest people I’ve ever met and I truly mean it! The work you’re doing for this magazine is incredible. The readers of this magazine should know that art is something that will transcend forever. Don’t limit yourself because someone else doesn’t see your potential. F*ck them. If you’re hopeful that your art will inspire someone then it will. If you’re going through something then create. Reclaim your identity through any creative outlet because art can be a source that will help with your innermost problems. I believe that when you’re lost and feel like all is going to shit, art can return life to you. It did for me.

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instagram.com/nicolebello__ 43

DONNIE

INTERVIEW & PhoTogRaPhy by jay sToNE DEsIgN by VIcENTE MaTos

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E

JS: You are the prototypical graphic designer. Your work is so extensive its crazy inspiring as an evolving and still learning, graphic designer myself. How did you get your start?

DR: As an undergraduate at South Carolina State University I studied Fine Art. I then attended graduate school at The Savannah College of Art & Design (SCAD) and received my Masters

Degree in Illustration and the Computer Arts. During my time at SCAD, I sharpened my skills and learned the Adobe programs. The traditional art skills I learned and practiced complimented my graphic design work. I interned in Graphic design during graduate school and continued to do so after I received my degree.

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JS: Originally from South Carolina, why or how did you decide on New York as where you will further pursue your professional art career?

DR: During my college days in South Carolina and Georgia, I worked at Sears selling electronics. Once I obtained my Masters, one of the district managers of Sears asked me what I was doing career wise. I told her I was looking for opportunities in Graphic Design. She asked for my resume and sent it to the Sears Corporate Fashion Design office in Soho, NYC. A few days later, Sears flew me to New York for an interview. It was my first time ever in NYC. I interned for a few months and then was hired full time as a graphic designer in kid’s fashion.

I stayed with Sears for 9 years before moving on to my current position as

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Senior Graphic Designer for Wal-Mart's Garanimals Childrens clothing line.

Living in New York has been a dream come true. New York City is one of the most artistic cities in the world. The city is filled with creative events, places, and people. From childhood, I have always been a huge Knicks fan so I feel like I'm exactly where I should be. Hopefully things get better for the Knicks soon....lol JS: The very first piece I ever seen of yours was the Apollo Theater painting. Idk why but it made me think about the current state of Harlem and the Apollo NOW. As someone not from New York, what do you think of the gentrification that is happening across the city?

DR: My Apollo painting titled “Amateur Night” is actually one of my favorites. I grew up watching “Showtime at

the Apollo” on television with my family in South Carolina. When I created “Amateur Night”, I wanted to capture the same energy that I felt on 125th street standing in front of it that I experienced when I moved to Harlem and visited the esteemed Apollo Theater for the first time. As far as Gentrification across the city, it’s kind of hard for me to say because I’ve only lived here for a few years. However, I have always felt like change is inevitable and is usually part of growth.

JS: Your paintings are so polished it sort of reminds me post-impressionist art. By the way “In the Sheets” is arguably one of your best pieces. Sidebar comment: that is a whole lotta ass in that pic man!

What’s the most challenging thing about your creative process?

DR: The most challenging part of my creative process is crafting ideas and concepts that haven’t been done in the past. I always try to put my own innovative twist to make my work different and stand out from the others.

Another challenging aspect would be my full time job and working long hours as a graphic designer in Corporate America. Starting my own Paint Night business (Thirsty Brushes) also poses a challenge to find time to create paintings of all the ideas that I have in my head and sketchbook that I would love to see on canvas. My original painting of “In the Sheets” was sold at a solo exhibition of mine on the lower east side in 2015. I plan to create a “Part 2” of that painting should I ever get the time!

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JS: With Thirsty Brushes doing so well, what do you plan on doing next your overall brand?

DR: The plan is to take my overall brand international. With Thirsty Brushes I get to share my love of art with others and teach them what I do. It feels great to bring people together for a fun social event where they can explore their creative side while indulging on a selection of fine wines. I want to continue to grow Thirsty Brushes and my overall brand by continuing to make it stand out from all the other Paint and Sip parties offered in New York. I’m also looking to expand Thirsty Brushes into other cities across the country as well. With the brand that I have built, I look to expand my audience with my personal paintings by continuing to enter and display my art in art events and galleries across the city and the world.

DoNNIERogERsaRT.coM/

At age 15 I used to sit alone in my room and think: I’ll probably die alone like how i came onto this earth That’s if one of these evils don’t get me first: I’ll probably die in the streets I’ll probably die at the hands of police I’ll probably die just another Nigga Because nobody cares about me

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All my years being in the league, I never received more emotional mail from people than I did about that issue

“If any of your players ever do that, we are never coming to another Giants game.”

The San Francisco Police Officers Association said Kaepernick has the right to voice his opinion, but the NFL and 49ers have the ability to “denounce his foolish statements and separate yourself from his actions.”

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I’ll probably die alone “You should have some fucking respect for people who served, especially people that lost their life to protect our freedom,” Kaepernick’s ex-49ers teammate said.

“We’re out here playing a game, making millions of dollars. People are losing their life, and you don’t have the common courtesy to do that. That just drove me nuts.”

I’ll probably die at the hands of police “I think it’s a problem ... anybody who disrespects this country and the flag,” Ditka said. “If they don’t like the country they don’t like our flag ... get the hell out.”

He continued: “I have no respect for Colin Kaepernick.

He probably has no respect for me. That’s his choice.

My choice is, I like this country, I respect our flag, and I don’t see all the atrocities going on in this country that people say are going on.”

I’ll probably die just another Nigga Because nobody cares about me 55

Melanin UK | The Experience Mag | Season V

Surviving To Thriving Kirsty Latoya

INTERVIEWED BY JAY STONE

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JS: Thanks for being down to be featured straight from London! I really appreciate it.

Your digital work is really smooth and flawless. Its even more astonishing considering its all on an iPad right?

KL: Yeah! It’s all done on my iPad where I use my finger as a stylus, I love being able to work anywhere. I actually started drawing on my phone then saved up to buy an iPad so I could have a bigger screen to draw on.

JS: When did doing mental health related pieces become your focus?

KL: Last year after I needed a release for my own mental health issues. I posted my first mental health illustration in March, the day after my mother’s funeral.

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JS: You once said you initially didn’t know what depression was. I thought that was interesting because I’m sure many people can say the same thing. How are we supposed to know what “officially” constitutes us as being depressed?

Especially when all we might know is that we’re not feeling anything? Or that we just feel different within ourselves? What do you think?

KL: I think it’s difficult to define depression, we all experience it completely differently with different triggers. There are some common symptoms to look out for that can help you to realise if you have depression, like feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness for example. If you’re constantly feeling down, it’s definitely worth talking to somebody about it.

ANXIETY

SURVIVINGTOTHRIVING SURVIVINGTOTHRIVING SURVIVINGTOTHRIVING SURVIVINGTOTHRIVING SURVIVINGTOTHRIVING SURVIVINGTOTHRIVING SURVIVINGTOTHRIVING SURVIVINGTOTHRIVING SURVIVINGTOTHRIVING SURVIVINGTOTHRIVING SURVIVINGTOTHRIVING SURVIVINGTOTHRIVING JS: Why do you think our culture chastise their own by having the “get on with life” mentality?

KL: The older generation were brought up with this mentality so they try to pass it onto their kids not realising its not that easy.

You’re told to get on with life sometimes because some people in our culture don’t regard mental health as an actual illness so don’t treat it with importance.

JS: Art was always your outlet but you mentioned when you the passing of your mom, you decided to give it up. Why was that?

KL: I decided to give it up because I felt I

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no longer had a passion in life. I felt like art made me happy and I couldn’t allow myself to be happy again. I just had zero motivation so my art really suffered until I realised that it was one of the only things that could get me through.

JS: It really inspires me that you’re such an advocate on these issues for our community. What do you want to be your greatest artistic achievement in relation to highlighting the struggles of mental health?

KL: My greatest achievement so far has been appearing on 3 news programmes in one day during Mental Health Awareness Week in

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May. My only achievement goals is to keep on spreading awareness in any way I can! Maybe one day I could make a documentary about it, that would be cool.

KIRZART.COM

URBAN GYPSTER

NOTHING GREAT DIES

IT ONLY REINCARNATES 62

INTERVIEW BY JAY STONE PHOTOGRAPHY: NELSON MEDINA

JS: Describe your overall personal style in 3 words.

UG: My style in three words can be describes as Chill, Colorful, Gritty....

JS: Your visuals all come with a powerful aura of confidence. What was your first modeling experience like?

UG: My first modeling experience was great. I knew a friend who did photography at the time so during the spring he started to shoot me outside and we just played around with it for a while. He said I was really good & I should get into modeling so I just went for it. I’ve wanted to do it when I was young but it was never supported. I just continued it from there and so on....

JS: What was working on “Dirty Amerika” like and the whole NYFW experience?

UG: Working for “Dirty Amerika” was really dope. I love Justice clothing line. The models, MUA’s, and stylist were great. Being in NYFW was an honorable experience; I was the leader of the choker line and I killed the walk. It was amazing finally being on a runway. I want to change the fashion and modeling industry to start giving more props to Petite models because we are super models on and off the runway, tall or short. I personally feel that we are on the come up, and I want to encourage other petit models to keep following their passion and happiness. We are the example for the youth especially females.

Right now to be honest our youth are looking up to celebrities that are fake. So you mean to tell me that I need a plastic “ass” and “tits” to be of worth it in the world of fame?

The perspectives of beauty and fame are totally messed up. A girl shouldn’t have to change her character and appearance to be accepted in the “industry.” She should be honored by exactly how she is. That’s what the system fails to recognize, they can only praise us if we conform to their standards but it’s a threat when our natural image gets in the way. All of that will change this year thats for sure.

URBAN GYPSTER

MoN | 5.10.17

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JS: What is Conscious Concepts and The Gypster Collection?

UG: Conscious Concepts is about the metaphysical healing properties of crystals and fashion merged together. The brand consists of sacred geometric designs on shirts, sweaters, hats called Conscious Cap . They also provide a wide range of Buddhist jewelry. The CEO Brandon Calsada founded this brand in 2014.

The Gypster Jewlz Collection is a collaboration of Conscious Concepts and Urban Gypster. Conscious Concepts is masculine brand where as Gypster Jewlz is a feminine one.

The Gypster Collection is a line of intricate hand made Crystal jewelry designed for women to bring out the divines of their being and balance and cleanse their chakras.

There are Chokers, bracelets, necklaces, pendants, rings, earrings & pocket stones that cater towards the elements and different zodiac signs. You can mediate with the crystals and use them for spiritual growth and healing purposes JS: In just chatting with you, you have a really strong frequency. The things & concepts you were talking about were heavy. You’d make a great spiritual advisor / teacher. What were you like growing up?

UG: To be honest I was a happy child. There were times when I would bug out but that was cause I was a bad ass too, not gonna lie. I went to church but really didn’t like to. School was an obligation. After school program was really boring, I felt like I would waste time in there learning about a lot of extra info I didn’t need or want. I was into sports and playing with my brother. We used to get really dirty and bruised up when we used to play with each other. I can say I had a blessed childhood. I had two parents who loved & provided me with everything and a brother who I shared everything with.

I remember times when we would spend the whole day outside playing and come back home to watch movies or cartoons or play video games. There was a time my brother and I weren’t getting along but we eventually matured and shared the same interests. I loved how we would always celebrate our birthday together because they are so close together. Our birthday’s just past recently. His was March 30th and mine was April 7th.

Our child hood and now feels different but so much more understandable and fun.

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NOTHING GREAT DIES SUMMER 2017 | THE EXPERIENCE MAGAZINE | SEASON V JS: What is your future plans?

UG: My future plans are to become a yoga teacher/ spiritual healer and signed super model to one of the top model agencies in the world. I also want to have my own huge studio that will be a storefront of my jewelry and the back would be my yoga studio.

This studio would be a first an Fulcar owned business where the studio space can be used for a number of things; live music, recording, open mic events, yoga and pop up shops. In long term I want to have my own land so I can create a yoga retreat/ holistic healing spa and have my own garden. I was to heal humanity mentally, physically, and spiritually. I also want to travel the world and bring my jewelry and yogi services along with modeling to other countries. I especially want to go on tour with my brother “ Cliche” and his rap collective SacredGz, I’m the personal hairstylist of IndigoGeneral and Cliche. I want to be able to expand my hair braiding services to music artists like rappers, producers, singers, engineers, celebrities etc.

JS: You possess a dope strong presence. What is the lasting impression you want to leave behind with your artistry?

UG: The everlasting impression I want to leave behind with my artistry is not to being afraid to make your dreams happen. Also leaving behind a great understanding that we are a powerful people of higher consciousness and are spiritually connected with the earth and the cosmos. We are literally capable of anything & we shouldn’t be altered or forced to anything lower than that. I want to change the world perspective on how infinitely powerful we are, nothing great dies it only reincarnates to keep fighting back till what ever that was trying to suppress us will no longer continue to exist.

IT ONLY REINCARNATES 66

So you mean to So you mean to So you mean to So you mean to So you mean to So you mean to So you mean to So you mean to So you mean to So you mean to So you mean to

o tell me that I need a plaStIc o tell me that I need a plaStIc o tell me that I need a plaStIc o tell me that I need a plaStIc o tell me that I need a plaStIc o tell me that I need a plaStIc o tell me that I need a plaStIc o tell me that I need a plaStIc o tell me that I need a plaStIc o tell me that I need a plaStIc o tell me that I need a plaStIc “aSS” & tItS” to Be WoRth It to Be WoRth It to Be WoRth It to Be WoRth It

In the WoRld oF Fame?

instagram.com/urbangypster/ 67

I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR FAULTS OR MISHAPPENS NIGGA, WE FROM THE BRONX, NEW YORK; SHIT HAPPENS I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR FAULTS OR MISHAPPENS NIGGA, WE FROM THE BRONX, NEW YORK; SHIT HAPPENS

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INTERVIEW: JAY STONE & AMAURYS GRULLON PHOTOGRAPHY: JAY STONE

WE WILL SHOW THE WORLD THE BRONX

JS: Tell us about the beginnings of The Bronx Native. What was the inspiration behind the brand?

AG: My Sister Roselyn & I always wanted to do something for our home, the Bronx. In the end of 2015, we were looking for clothing that represented the BX & looked doped. Unfortunately, we didn’t find anything cool so we took matters into our own hands. I am a graphic designer, filmmaker and photographer; while is a fashion designer. We took our skill sets & put them to work into a brand that represented the Bronx for what it really is. Apparel is one of the things that we wanted to do through Bronx Native, as well as other things. We wanted to have a cause and potentially be more than just a clothing brand. We wanted Bronx Native to be a movement that highlights are home, community and people. We use different mediums to express this through design, film, photo, and more.

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SUMMER 2017 | THE EXPERIENCE MAGAZINE | SEASON V

JS: You guys aren’t just a local thing. There is a bigger aura of energy whenever I see you whether its in person or online. In a time where the borough is starting to become whitewashed gentrified, you guys are capturing the true essence of the BX. Was that always your mission?

AG: One of the biggest factors that help ventures strive is timing. We started Bronx Native at the perfect time. There are so many things happening in the Bronx at the moment & its beautiful. When we started we definitely wanted to capture the true essence of the BX but not necessarily to fight against gentrification. Around the time that we started Bronx Native, the whole “Piano District” thing started happening & we became aware of it. Now that we know everything is happening, one of our missions is to not let culture die. We love our community, culture and people so much & we don’t want to see that leave the BX. We fought for this, worked hard & were burning at one point but rose from the ashes. This is our home.

JS: Tell us about the creative process behind your design concepts.

AG: Roselyn & I come up with visuals, type, or anything that has to do with the Bronx’s history & culture & try to mix that in with a contemporary pop cultural style. Our clothing has to have substance & at the same time look dope. When we have a good idea, we start designing. Once that diesn is complete, we print it after that. After we have the completed piece then we have some fun. We are a generation that is all about “the hype.’ We create that hype or the product through photoshoots, video content & social media marketing in order to promote the product.

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JS: What is the most challenging thing about operating this enterprise?

AG: One of the most challenging things is finding the right teammates in life. You need great people by your side if you’re going to do amazing things. We are lucky to have found a couple great people for Bronx Native.

JS: From a marketing standpoint, what is the conversation like with someone who isn’t from the Bronx?

AG: Me: Hey What’s Up! Not a Bronx Native: Hey! Me: We are a brand called Bronx Native, we highlight & embrace all that the Bronx has to offer through art, media, and apparel. Have Some Bronx Native pins & stickers.

Not a Bronx Native: Wow thank you! That’s so great!

Me: Are you from the Bronx?

Not a Bronx Native: Unfortunately I’m not from the Bronx Me: That’s all good! What if I told you that Bronx Native goes Beyond the Bronx?

Deep down Bronx Native tackles issues that are overall greather than the Bronx at the end of the day. Its all about our people Hispanics, African Americans, Minorities) It’s about a demographic of people that were left to burn & from that created culture. Its about the struggle, starting from the bottom and not letting the bottom define where you’re going. Bronx Native is about living through inequality & hardship but making the best of it. About community, family, & diversity. About seeing the beauty in the good, bad and the ugly.

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WE WILL SHOW THE WORLD THE BRONX

JS: What would you like The Bronx Native to accomplish? Is there an expansion around clothes?

AG: We wil show the world the Bronx.

JS: What kind of advice would you give young creative looking to enter the same field?

AG: 1. Find out what you want to do.

2. Figure out how to do it 3. And do it Some one once told me the secret of life “You get what you put in.” The more work & hours you put into something, the more you will get in return. So work hard, put in the hours, don’t sleep until you feel accomplished.

BRONXNATIVE.COM

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graceful

dangerous

Coffee Brown Gangsta

Interview by Jay Stone

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Oya Noire Photography by Nelson Medina

s

slow down JS: Admittedly I don’t listen to much neo soul music as I should. With that said, the first time I heard you at Color Scenes this past March I was totally blown away. You really are a special talent. What is your reaction to people’s reactions to you after hearing you sing?

ON: It’s a mix. It’s a lot, sometimes it doesn’t feel real. Sometimes as an artist you feel kind of selfish because you perform for yourself.

So you’re on stage, I’m just doing what I love to do. You don’t even think about how it affects people til afterwards. I’m a very shy, introverted person so I had to get used to people coming up to me and telling me what my music does for them. Its humbling but its motivation because its more confirmation. If I’m able to reach out to people , if I’m able relate to them on some kind of level. Just the other day someone came up to me saying “damn you got me thinking about this girl!”

And that’s the goal! If I can make you feel something, it feels good.

JS: I don’t know how much you’re up on mythology but I likened you to the Sirens I read about in the Odyssey. For those who don’t know, the Sirens were sea nymphs who had the gift of singing in a very “seductive manner” and each sailor who passed by their island became enchanted by their voice. Now, this usually led to the deaths of the sailors so we’re just going to by pass that part. Although your #SoGoneChallenge was mean as fuck. How long have you been singing?

ON: I’ve been singing since high school, 1415. I didn’t start taking it seriously and putting music out until I was 18. Being in gospel choirs, I was in one in my high school. That inspired me to be in a different choir that got me opportunities to sing back up for some artists. Through that experience that molded me into my own artist.

JS: Your music is very personal and introspective. I can appreciate the honesty and rawness of the lyrics being sung. What inspires you to write about these topics that you put on wax?

ON: Music is healing for me so when I’m writing a song about love or life or whatever it is, they are things I felt before that I need to get off my chest. “Slow Down” is a song that I feel like so many people relate too regardless of sexual orientation, whatever, just so many people feel what I’m saying. That’s what inspires me. Life around me . It can be the smallest situation or any little thing that I’m dealing with. It can be the seed to inspiration.

It really is the life around me and the life that I live.

JS: How has the reaction to “Slow Down” been?

ON: Crazy! Absolutely insane and completely unexpected. I wrote it in October 2016 and I performed it once live. I think before that video had dropped. The reaction I got live from it was crazy because it wasn’t recorded. A lot of people don’t even know it wasn’t studio recorded. It was something I wrote and me and my guitar player had practiced a lot til we got comfortable with it. We decided to do it for that show. There was a shorter video I posted to my page and just off a whim I noticed another video with a better angle.

Its just a habit to release videos after I have a performance. The next day my manager called me and asked me “Who did you pay to get this shit so poppin!” That’s how unexpected it was for the whole team. Everyone was just blown away and even now the reaction I get is crazy. But I love it! “Slow Down” is just my baby.

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summer 2017 | the experience magazine | season v

JS: What are you looking to accomplish going forward in 2017 and beyond?

ON: I want to quit my job. That’s my short team goal. I used to say my long term goal is global reach. I’ve kind of feel like I’ve gotten there but I want to expand on that. Now I have a larger following and I have people hit me up from all over the world. Now when I go on instagram live I have people that comment “Shout outs from Russia, Spain, Turks & Calcos , Trinidad, Japan” So I just want to expand, see and touch the world. I want to be big. I used to say I want accolades like a Grammy. Who doesn’t want that? Its more behind that, I just want to touch the people on a much larger scale than I do now.

slow down oyanoire.com

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dange

erous

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ACT 2 THE BULL & THE MATADOR

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***READY FOR IT

Yesterday I got a text from my blood like yo SON! Asked me how I was feelin bout the cop shooting stating “the US is done” He was frightened, mad confused mad shook & dumb

I’M READY FOR IT His bride to be jumped in still fucked up from the murders of 2 black men prior She was ramblin, frightened, confused & tired Her white colleagues say to her “did you see the news” Her mind state so fragile, they say the wrong thing & she’ll lose her cool This is therapy for the both of them “Jason tell us something how do you NORMALLY deal with this bedlam” We know you’re on the front lines tell us how we overcome?

Well this is how I feel.

If those pigs killed one of mine one them is getting killed.

Race wars always been incited Get familiar with martial law Say bye to lil freedoms We’ve already lost this war

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Picture an imperfect picture Picture me baptized in fire Picture me outside the station Red in eyes Blues in my sinister desires Picture me catchin a pig by his feet Picture a slaughterhouse as I get into deep

Run up in the Precinct Nose full of steam Erybody gonna get it The judge, the jury, the sergeant & the piglets

But y’all will aight.

I’m bout to clock back in Nothin much will come about this But it Sounds like I need to look up a therapist.

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KADEEM VS THE WORLD

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INTERVIEW BY: JAY STONE PHOTOGRAPHY: CARLITA LOPEZ JS: When did you discover art as an escape for you?

KP: Well I would guess the first time it was actually an escape for me was when I was younger like 10 or 11. I was the only child & when I was alone I would draw to get away.

The point where art became a real escape for me was around 20/21 when I was dealing with some serious depression/suicidal issue. Art became that one place where I can leave everything on the canvas. It became my therapy & my way of putting myself together again.

JS: All of your work deals with a sense of identity. They make me think about selflove, knowledge of self, & not being afraid to express yourself feelings. I love the rawness of your art! Where does it come from?

KP: I though a real rough period of my life where I just felt alone & I felt a lot of people didn’t understand me, hell I didn’t understand myself. This was around the same time art became an outlet for me again & honestly I just wanted rebuild & rediscover who I was. Going through that allowed me to be as open & as raw with my life, at the same time it changed my perspective greatly; because I’m comfortable with it & I know I’m not the only one out here going through these problems

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Sometimes

people a r e way too scared to own their emotions or even ex p re s s it.

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KADEEM VS THE WORLD JS: I really dig how honest you are when it comes to the process behind your work. I can appreciate folks who have no problem talking about the highs and lows. I know the feeling of dealing with self-esteem and anger. I also remember feeling like I didn’t know how to express that. I learned wearing my emotions on my sleeve was what works for me. What advice would you suggest to anyone feeling afraid to speak about the issues he/she are going through?

KP: Live your truth, own what happen or how you feel. Sometimes people are way to scared to own their emotions or even express it. It’s like a pride issue, but you got to. Weakness doesn’t come from showing emotions but from not controlling or not willing to understand them. Also have the understanding your not alone; there are 7 billion people roughly on this earth, someone somewhere will resonate with your story or will be touched by it some how.

JS: Why do you think mental health in our community is rarely discussed? Considering the fact it’s right alongside exclusion of economic resources as some of our biggest issues… Why do you think we STILL can’t have this discussion?

KP: Honestly it’s because

it’s stigmatized. You’re looked at like

you’re weak or lesser than for having these issues. For us it’s suppose to be like we’re used to all these jacked up moments & situation; like it’s second nature but fuck that; shit takes a toll on us. Instead of talking bout it to people we end up self medicating ourselves & getting trapped in our vices cause we haven’t made peace with our issues. It’s a vicious cycle

you’re Looked at likeyOU’RE wEaK OR LESSER . its a VICIOUS CyLCE

THE EXPERIENCE MAGAZINE | SUMMER 2017 | SEASON V

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JS: Your work is so relatable man. Maybe because I’ve dealt with and still deal with being trapped in my own head. The sense of identifying as a black man with a lot of weight on his shoulders. What do you want to express overall in your work?

KP: I want people to not feel hopeless; I want people to know that someone been through everything they have & I want to let people know that they we all have high & lows. We all go through hell but fight on, cause happiness is right on the other side of it.

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JS: What is your dream project?

KP: My dream project would be to do a mural out in Japan, & I mean a really big mural. If not that I want to design a seasonal line or exclusive design with Puma, Adidas or Asics.

instagram.com/lifeofdeem

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Ayo What’s Hood?

A Conversation with The Black American Ghetto

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illustration by The Bad One

“Cops see them and run, don’t want no drama Certain parts of the streets, the beast don’t want a part of” Nas JS: So for folks who want to know, what does your name, “ghetto” mean?

G: Well, one can trace it back to the Italian words “getto” which means (to cast off) and “borghetto” which is (small neighborhood) JS: When did you become more known?

G: Around the 1930s, the Nazis took power & set up ghettos that confined Jews into tight, compact areas of the inner city Eastern Europe. However unlike the rest of Europe, these ghettos were poverty stricken, overcrowded, riddled with disease, and were closed off. Sounds familiar?

JS: Unfortunately...

G: Oh and I’m WELL traveled my nigga. I’m very easy to replicate so theress another me, everywhere.

JS: Why? G:

Because oppression is oppression, man.

JS: Some say you’re a “state of mind”?

G: State of mind or state of survival. It’s all where the soul comes from.

JS: Soul?

G:Soul is graceful survival against impossible odds.

JS: Retweet that!!

G: What?

JS: Nothing bro, disregard that. So tell us your roots in the Black American ghetto...

G: Ok so this began with the reparations blacks were supposed to receive but when Abe Lincoln was killed, all that changed. The order for reprations was revoked. The blacks, the very small percentage of them, who did receive land, had it stripped from them.

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Picture no slavery but no compensation for the years of slavery people went through. Sounds familar? No resources, no nothing, you “free” though!

Forced into sharecropping where they paid rent to white land owners. By the end of the year, they were always in debt. ever really free, they were binded to this newly formed poverty.

Up north it wasn’t any better. Blacks who lived in cities like Detroit, Chi-town & NYC weren’t allowed to work in the factories or unions. Leaving them with the worst kind of jobs NO ONE else would do.

BLKGHETTO 100

And when the Depresion hits, Blacks were the first fired, last to get hired. Than President Roosevelt eliminated Blacks out of his pan to give relief from poverty.

JS: How? G: Social Security... He drafted programs passed by his committee that excluded domestic & agricultural workers. Blacks made up nearly all of that.

You should look up the Federal Housing Administration & how it refused promising mortgages in Black communities due to redlining. Communities which consisted of all groups of people were seprated by color lines. Blue: White neighborhoods. Yellow: Working class and finally Red: Black neighborhoods which was considered “inharmonious” areas in which banks stayed away from at the hands of the FHA. JS: Why didnt blacks just leave?

G: Remember, I AM these areas. I’m where people are forced to live. Due to systematic racism in real estate. Blacks could NOT live where ever they pleased, even if they had the money.

JS: You old as hell nigga!

G: Man I seen crack, integration, & worse of all, the creation of what you guys call “The Trap” where government built me with ltitle to no resources and placed poor blacks and latinos here. No jobs, no businesses to call your own, drugs, liquor stores, police... Shit just gets ugly. This was meant to be dangerous for your state of mind.

IT creates chaos and dysfunction. I hate that I was designed this way.

JS: Can you...

G: Hol up let me finish You wonder why brown folk, latino fok all ahve mental problems that seem impossible to resolve? Where can they even find time to talk about shit? As a community, you guys are too busy either being lab rats killing each other in “the trap” or too busy trying to survive by any means necessary. Just remember one thing You AREN’T too blame.

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I Am the perfect creation of self-destruction. That’s why I need the next generation to teach one, teach all. Rebuild me, help each other, save your communities.

ORGANIZE!!!!

ORGANIZE!!!!

ORGANIZE!!!!

JS: Yo I gotta run, thanks man. Lets do this again?

G: Definitely G, I’ll be here

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as a black woman my hair is Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage. a= water, substantial of my life.

Moisture = hydration, hydration hydrated hair =part less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage. use a shaMpoo and conditioner within the saMe product line or test the ph of your chosen shaMpoo and conditioner to ensure they coMpleMent each other. finish every wash off with a cold rinse finish every wash off with a cold rinse finish every wash off with a cold rinse finish every wash off with a cold rinse finish every wash off with a cold rinse finish every wash off with a cold rinse

Aminah Dantzler

apply a Moisturiser to your hair before you apply any oil. seal-in the Moisture with a good oil. coconut oil coconut oil JoJoba oil JoJoba oil avocado oil avocado oil argan oil argan oil castor oil castor oil sweet alMond oil sweet alMond oil

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Defying Gravity

INTERVIEW & PHOTOGRAPHY BY JAY STONE

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JS: You’ve been on the radar for quite awhile now. So it’s an honor to finally get to talk with you. You had mentioned to me that you’re still pretty new to being an artist, right? What lead to you pursuing this? aD: I think in an indirect way everyone is an artist and sometimes it just takes a while to figure out what it is that a person is truly passionate about. I’ve always loved making art whether it was painting, drawing, making trinkets, or building little things here and there.

But what lead me to pursue and art career is the realization that creating art is what makes me the happiest in life. Creating is an outlet that lets me positively release my feelings, speak to people on an emotional level, express myself, teach others, and meet people.

I’m an artist because making art is the ultimate form of being true to myself and finding my happiness, with the goal of affecting others positively.

JS: When did you start putting a focus on black hair as the central theme of your work?

AD: From the moment I started painting, I only made work based around black hair.

Now that I’m having to reflect on it, I realize that hair and blackness is just what came natural to me. In the beginning I didn’t think about it and I painted from my subconscious a lot. This also has a lot to do with the fact that I paint a lot of self reflective portraits.

Every painting is indirectly about a personal struggle or personal idea that I have and as a black woman my hair is a substantial part of my life.

JS: Why do you think it’s important to put a great emphasis on the hair of black women?

AD: To begin on a larger scale, hair is an important form of self expression for just about all people everywhere. With that said, for black women our hair is tied to a history of brainwashing, self hatred, and personal journeys of love and growth.

Regardless of hair type and the stage that a black woman is in on her hair journey, we unlike many people have grown up with stigmas of “bad hair” versus “good hair” and white washing of our thick and curly hair. There is a need for emphasis on black womans hair because as a group we need empowerment. Many black woman can not accept their natural hair because of years of perms and weaves and a lack of positive natural hair representation.

A key to being healthy and successful in life is self acceptance and for black woman our physical being, including hair, is a part of that self love and growth. My goal is to showcase black beauty in multiple forms and perspectives and share that beauty with as many people as possible.

c c ocoonut o JooJc n Jo Joobbauotiloiill coconut oil a a coconut oil a vooccadooi l JoJoba oil oi av g aa JoJoba oil arrg ndooiloill a avocado oil c n avocado oil caassttorooiil argan oil o l sw il argan oil sweeeetrao Mon castor oil t allM d oil castor oil on d oil sweet alMond oil c oc u t oil sweet alMond oil JcooJcoonnu JoJooba oti oil ba l coconut oil a coconut oil a vooccadooil oi av JoJoba oil r aa argga JoJoba oil ndooiloill ca n avocado oil o cassttor oil avocado oil il sw argan oil eeo il sw trao argan oil e l e M t a lM ond castor oil ond oil castor oil oil sweet alMond oil sweet alMond oil

as a black woman my hair is a substantial part of my life.

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Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage.

Moisture = hydration, hydration = water, hydrated hair = less breakage. use a shaMpoo and conditioner within the saMe product line or test the ph of your chosen shaMpoo and conditioner to ensure they coMpleMent each other. finish every wash off with a cold rinse finish every wash off with a cold rinse finish every wash off with a cold rinse finish every wash off with a cold rinse finish every wash off with a cold rinse finish every wash off with a cold rinse apply a Moisturiser to your hair before you apply any oil. seal-in the Moisture with a good oil.

SUMMER 2017 | THE EXPERIENCE MAGAZINE | SEASON V

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JS: Tell us about the “Emotions” Series.

AD: The Emotions Series is a way for me to express my feelings through vibrant, colorful images and be more creative by combining symbolism and metaphors through hair.

One day I was super pissed off about the struggles I was going through and I felt like I was on fire. So the first painting in the series is of me with a blazing red flame for hair. After that painting I realized that specific emotions and feelings can be so complex. Most emotions aren’t always so simple. So I challenged myself to paint the way I was feeling.

Right now I have an angry fireball, a weight of the world portrait, a painting of a beautiful queen whose melancholy, and a girl who’s just in her natural element in her hometown. I plan on creating more upbeat happier ladies soon, since I really feel like I’m growing into a happier more purposed me.

JS: You’re gearing up for some big things. What do you see on the horizon for yourself?

AD: I believe my goal is very simple: Inspire others to love and embrace themselves (especially women of color).

I would like to meet more artist and art lovers with every passing event, grow as an artist and be consistent. I dream about being featured in popular art galleries and giving talks to other artist like myself, but I ultimately want to push myself to make art that intrigues people and makes them feel a million happy emotions. It’s all about connecting with others. And hopefully very soon I will be able to do all of these things with the help of a new website I’m launching and some large scale showcases.

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CARL

VON LINNAEUS father of anthropology RACISM

homo europeanus : white, fickle, sanguine, blue-eyed, gentle, & governed by law.

homo afer : black, cunning, lazy, lustful, careless, & governed by impulse.

N S

INSANITY Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

In my humble opinion most of Black America is insane. We as a people continue to try and fight White Supremacy with the same tactics – marching, praying to a white Jesus, writing letters, and posting about police brutality on social media. We’ve been conditioned to think any of the above will make a difference… it won’t. Insanity – Police kill a black or brown person, we post about it on social media, we get in our feelings, we march, the officers get off for killing us, and repeat.

Not only are we insane but also White Supremacy has managed to make us think it’s normal for us to watch the execution of our people. 90% of the media is controlled by the 1% (a bunch of rich old white people like the Rockefellers and the Rothschild’s). Our enemy controls pretty much everything we watch. We have to protect our mental health. It is unnatural to continuously watch our brothers and sisters getting slain. They are desensitizing us and making it the norm for us to be killed with no consequences. Honestly how many of us are ever surprised when a cop gets off for killing one of us? Insanity to me is knowing we live in a world where we are born with a target on our backs and we do nothing to fight for our freedom.

We are comfortable with being slaves. We are ok with how this world is because we keep supporting huge white owned corporations that invest their money into our enslavement. I’d go as far as saying we rather give money to our oppressors than our own friends starting businesses. Insanity. Stop watching and posting videos of our own being executed. Protect your mental health.

“Two months ago I had a nice apartment in Chicago. I had a good job. I had a son.

When something happened to the Negroes in the South I said, `That’s their business, not mine.’ Now I know how wrong. I was. The murder of my son has shown me that what happens to any of us, anywhere in the world, had better be the business of us all.” Mamie Till Emmett Till’s Mother

- KITTY LEIGH

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BY KIARA VENTURA

THE GODDESS BOX Charlisa Darshiny Erickson defines herself as a “creator not an artist.” Born and raised in NYC in a Dominican household, Erickson works as a part-time medical assistant and dedicates the rest of her time to creative projects. She is a creator who works with video, photography, body art, dance, and primarily painting. With so many practices, Erickson calls herself a “master of none” but her first love with an art form was with dance. Three years ago, she managed to balance two full time jobs and participating in art night events, where her love for painting was sparked.

Erickson paints portraits and abstract figures, mostly women, with deep vivid colors which she says represents their energy.

She calls this practice, “intuitive painting.” The colors organically flow across the canvas and frame the celestial-looking figures giving them a strong sense of spirituality. It seems like she is conveying a world that is not reality. Erickson says that when she paints someone or even on them (as body art), she uses her ability to sense their energy and translates that into colors as a work of art. She began her journey as painter in 2015 and has participated in many art shows around the city such as Fantasy in Color, The NYC Grind, and NYC Collage. However, she has struggled with depression and still deals with anxiety till this day.

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KV: How would you describe your art?

CDE: People say that my work is feminist but that’s not something that I did on purpose. Because I was just expressing myself. As I was looking at my artwork, I started to see it and found that a lot of shapes were similar to a women`s private part. I found that the works were about the intimacy of people’s’ particular energy and their essence. I feel like people are an entire galaxy so when you speak to them, you can feel the energy that they carry. All of the works I create are trying to capture people’s’ energy. Trying to capture their frequency and essence.

There are two sides to my work. There is a more spiritual side where I am just expressing where I’m at in the moment.

And lately I have a lot of portal’s going on.

Where are they taking me? I don’t know, But they are bundles of energy from whoever I was speaking to or whoever is in the room. When I do live painting, I paint with people’s energy and vibes.

What I realized as an artist is that I need to allow myself to be vulnerable. The moment I realized that it is okay, I got over my anxiety of

KV: How would you define your practice of intuitive painting?

CDE: Intuitive painting is to allow your emotions to unravel without thought. To let your most vulnerable parts out without judgment or need for labels. To allow self to watch from the seat of the mind.

To paint with the essence of the energy within your space or to reach deep within and paint with the emotions we tend to suppress.

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KV: What are some projects you’ve worked on?

CDE: One of the first projects I worked on is called, “She is Art,” where I asked women about love, heartbreak, and healing.

I highlighted questions and things people would not want to talk about. Since I was coming from a place of heartbreak, I always like to take my art and help people get through issues. Or at least let them know that somebody else feels the same fucking way you do and it is okay.

Right now I’m working on releasing the ‘SucSexFul’ project and it discusses the questions of ‘Can you be sexy without being successful and can you be successful without being sexy? and what is your definition of success?’ On this journey, I learned that I need to define what my ‘success’ is and not believe what everyone says I should be.

KV: Have you ever suffered from a mental illness anytime during your creative journey?

CDE: When I started painting, I was in a dark place. For a minute, even while I was painting I was in a dark place. Painting not just at these events but painting on my own in the beginning was what led me to express myself. As a woman for a very long time, I thought I was not allowed to be emotional. I was taught that being a strong woman meant that you had to be tough and you shouldn’t`t allow yourself to feel.

I continuously suppressed my emotions because of ideas society forces on me.

I had feelings bottled up for a very long time. So I was definitely depressed when I first started painting. Now I just learn how to deal with myself and my emotions.

There are times where I am so creatively overwhelmed because the ideas are just so much, it’s a blessing and a curse. Because if you can’t let it out at a certain pace, it [the ideas] just feels heavy. I did have an episode two years before I started painting where I had a mental breakdown.

It was difficult to explain it to people. The

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breakdown happened after my 5 year relationship and I lived with the guy.I was advised to take pills but I would ‘fake’ take them because they made me feel like a zombie. I made myself learn how to manage and control how I react. It took three years for me to recuperate from that before I started painting.

KV: So now when you feel that heaviness and anxiety, how do you cope with it?

What`s your solution?

CDE: I have three different modes. There is a time where I know that I need to allow myself to just feel. So I allow myself a day where I don`t come out the house and stay to myself. I’ll know when I need to be in tune to myself so I`ll meditate, go to yoga class, or take a walk in nature…and kinda just be with the day. I learned to listen to my intuition and to show myself compassion. I learned to be gentle with myself.

When there is no other solution and nothing else works, I turn to abstract painting.

I throw paint at a canvas. That was first form of remedying how I felt... was to throw paint at a canvas. And it kept evolving from there as I learned to listen to my intuition. It took a lot of unlearning for me to do that.

KV: What did you have to unlearn?

CDE: The conclusion that I’ve come to now is that the anxiety that was being created was because of ideas that I had of how things were supposed to be. I’m 30 years old. I`m a Dominican woman. I`m supposed to be married and have kids already. I`m supposed to have the ideal family, car, and house. I`m suppose to have a certain type of job and make a certain amount of money a year. So I had to grow out of this idea because the reality of it was is that… that isn’t what I chose.

There are so many expectations I have to face as a Latina woman. Growing up I used to dress extremely sexy because that is what I thought was beautiful. Even now I’m still breaking through these ideas of what I`m suppose to look like. Now I ask myself,

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“What makes me happy? Do I like to dress this way? Is this even what I find sexy anymore?” Sometimes I still have a hard time breaking through and that why I sometimes get anxiety because as artists we can have a hard time exposing ourselves.

When you expose a work of art, you are exposing your true self. And sometimes you’re afraid that people are going to see what you felt when you were painting that painting. What I realized as an artist is that I need to allow myself to be vulnerable.

The moment I realized that it is okay, I got over my anxiety of exposing myself.

KV: Has painting affected you mentally since you started and if so, how?

CDE: I learned to stop and allow myself to feel and to accept my feelings. I learned to not feel guilty because of them. That was the reason behind a lot of anxiety in my past. Anxiety attacks were a very common thing for me. I allowed myself to feel all emotions not just happy ones. We think we are supposed to be happy all of the time and we are not. You have those moments...you need those lows. It’s not that they [the feelings] go away but painting has allowed me to deal with them. It’s a safe place for me to express how I feel without feeling violated. I do not have to explain myself to anyone. My canvas is definitely a mirror and more than anything, it’s my safe place. It is the place that I go to when I need to be with myself.

And it’s sometimes scary because in the beginning that was something that triggered my anxiety was thinking I was going to be alone with myself. And that I would have to face the ugly thoughts alone. As humans, we tend to easily point out fingers to people for the accomplishments we don`t achieve. But at the end of the day, how you react and the choices you choose is what makes a difference. You can choose to be the victim forever or you can allow yourself to feel, be upset, forgive yourself, get up and fucking go do something about it

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KV: If there is someone out there who would like to pursue an art form and is struggling with their mental health, what would you tell them?

CDE: When you start allowing yourself to feel and give yourself permission to be vulnerable, you allow yourself to peel back the layers of your feelings until you reach the root of the problem. You need to confront not only yourself but the people who you feel hurt you. Most of the time we tend to bite our tongues. You can confront your problems by finding an outlet you trust whether that be with a close friend, a therapist, or even on a canvas. Once you get passed your emotions and those feelings, you need to learn how to be compassionate with yourself. The relationship with yourself is the most important one.

INSTAGRAM.COM/_HIDDENARTBOX

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SOLARIS SAPIENTE

My hands are on this insatiable creative quest. Conceivably constructed from the particles of deconstruction that takes place within, or from the lingering desire to create a sense of shelter. Perhaps, I feel it pulsating through me, engorging my veins with the coagulating force of the artisans from which I descend. Whose hands created sustenance. Whose hands wove inconceivable psychological resilience. Enough to withstand the generations to come.

MY HANDS ARE ON THIS INSATIABLE CREATIVE qUEST qUEST. CONCEIVABLY CONSTRUCTED FROM THE PARTICLES OF DECONSTRUCTION THAT TAKES PLACE WITHIN WITHIN, OR FROM THE LINGERING DESIRE TO TO CREATE A SENSE OF SHELTER. PERHAPS, I FEEL FEEL IT PULSATING THROUGH ME, ENGORGING MY VEINS WITH THE COAGULATING FORCE OF THE ARTISANS FROM WHICH I DESCEND. WHOSE HANDS CREATED SUSTENANCE. WHOSE HANDS WOVE INCONCEIVABLE PSYCHOLOGICAL RESILIENCE. ENOUGH TO WITHSTAND THE GENERATIONS TO COME. COME

The sTory of APoLLo TrAP TrAP TrAP

BY JAY STONE

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SUMMER 2017 | THE EXPERIENCE MAGAZINE | SEASON V

TrAPPeD

JS: I’m very honored to get to work with you straight from Atlanta! What is the art scene currently like down there? I absolutely appreciate you coming up for the 2nd edition of “The Sunrise Kingdom” AA: Thank you so much for having me, I’m hella excited to come to the north! The art scene is really great - it’s so open - it’s such a wide array of opportunity to create and display one’s inner passion! There are so many artists - established and thriving. I mean, I love the scene because it’s constantly growing!everybody is so supportive of the arts even celebrities like 2chainz’s creative opportunities for the arts, like in the pink trap house he displays local art.

JS: What is your main focus in your works? You have a lot of variety but there are times where there is a certain focus behind your work. Can you describe that?

AA: Life and how it has effected me- the struggles, the ups, and the downs that I’ve either experienced or have witnessed. I pull from my personal life and representations of who and what I see, I know and I am so it is a reflection of mostly black women. I use my art as my voice the focus is always pulled from my life sometimes it’s as simple as my favorite music or movie like “Blue Train” and sometimes it’s complex like “Single”- the focus and reflection comes as a personal message/expression from me, of me sometimes you just don’t see it. For my more complex pieces the focus is pulled from different struggles, the struggles of being a black woman, seeing how people of color are treated, personal demons I deal with like depression. I’m not good at expressing myself so I paint pictures to release those thoughts and frustrations. Through art I can be transparent so what you see is how I’m feeling or what I’m going through and that’s always my focus.

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THE STORY OF APOLLO

JS: What brought about your “Single” piece?

AA: Wow! Well let’s see, a long and sad story made short, this piece is a depiction of my first relationship from high school; which was toxic - just mentally, verbally, and sometimes physically abusive. I ended up going to college and escaping it but, I never quite dealt with it mentally I just brushed it off. I was ready to move forward but, it seemed to be one bad situation and relationship after another. The art of it is that each stick and knife carries the names of the guys I had been in bad situations with. The, “I’m fine”, sign represents me trying to self heal with no help, and me not identifying that the abusive relationship effected me and that I had mental health problems that I never addressed.

JS: Why was “Mental Health” a topic you visited many times in your work?

AA: The choice to focus on mental health art is my way of expressing my own mental health struggles - which I’ve dealt with. I hid it from the world most of my life and struggled behind close doors. I kept the disorders and my mental health issues contained until it drove me crazy. I still remember when I use to go to the closet and cry and cut myself so that my sister and mom wouldn’t see me or know. I figured everybody had issues - and I was told never let people see you cry, so I hid, but I, thank God for my strong foundation in faith and loving family and friends because, I don’t think I would have made it. so, that’s why I revisit mental health so many times because it’s real to me and now that I have gotten help and am strong enough mentally I can revisit the situations and tell my story. Telling my story through art not only helps heal me but it helps anyone that can identify with the piece and that’s the goal to make art that’s relatable.

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I kept the disorders and my mental health issues contained until it drove me crazy. Telling my story through art not only helps heal me but it helps anyone that can identify with the piece

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INSTAGRAM.COM/A_BUMSLIFE

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ACT 3 // DEBBIE To understand who you are today you must understand where you came from.

Lets start from the beginning 130

The omega of all existence Let’s take them back to a time Where crack triumphed over the resistance Back when the gentrified streets of the NYC was originally fed by the beast Debbie was the oldest of three quiet & observant, at the age of 23 All that mattered to her was her family & her studies

With the union of the Kush bloodlines in her ancestry She was meant for greatness Teaching & helping children on how to make it

The universe had other plans

The year was 1989 The gods of Olympus cried Our ancestors re-energized Mountains divide They knew what was going down

Her Babylon had arrived on Earth She’s alive, he’s alive Half orphan, half God Debbie never had an abortion His papa sorta did, still he managed to live.

He was now the child of the immaculate conception but his fate had been sealed. He was bestowed the sins of a disinterested father

TO BE CONTINUED...

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BIRTH OF

F VENUS

INTERVIEW AND PHOTOGRAPHY: JAY STONE CREATIVE DIRECTOR: SOLARIS SAPIENTE

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LOVE. BEAUTY. PROSPERITY VICTORY essential to the generation and balance of life

JS: One thing that stuck out to me upon getting to know you is that you have a very graceful presence. It’s hard to explain without being cliché. Folks just have to see for themselves.

The very first piece I’ve seen of yours was “The Birth of Fem.” The correlation felt appropriate. What was that piece about and inspired by?

V: My “The Birth of Fem” piece was inspired by the very popular Botticelli piece “The Birth of Venus”, it has always been one of my favorite works of art. This was the second piece I did since I began painting again after about 6 years. It represents me stepping out of my comfort zone, being my true authentic self unapologetically, finding my own inner Goddess, and the celebration of those things. It took a very long time for me to truly find and love myself and I want to inspire other women to do the same. I have been challenging myself to step out of my own comfort zones to promote the utmost self growth.

The artistic style for this piece was very new to me. I tried playing with different mediums that I had not used before, and it made me realize that a lot of magic can happen when you step out of the box and try new things.Posing nude was also a big challenge for me as I’ve always had not the best self body image but I wanted to celebrate myself and all that I am in the most raw and natural way.

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P ROSPERITY

LOV E BEAUTY

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ANXIETY STRESS

S U N E V

VICTORY

DEPRESSION

JS: This ties into your particular artistry. There is a Shakespearean feel to your works. How would you describe yourself as an artist?

V: I am very romantic and passionate, and my art tends to reflect that aspect of myself. It usually portrays the theme of love, or heartbreak, and things I feel very passionate about at the moment. Most recently something I feel passionate about is my spiritual growth, and developing my clairvoyant abilities. I truly believe it has helped me to overcome many of the challenges I’ve faced in life including my emotional and mental stability, which I am trying to incorporate in my art as well.

JS: You almost sort of lost the chance at pursuing your passion of the arts. What was the turnaround?

V: Okay, so this is where it gets deep. First, I really want to stress that I am a very private person about my personal life and problems overall but being given this platform I think it is very important for me to be honest and transparent.

Art has always been something I turned to when I needed to cope with my anxiety and depression which are two things that I began to experience at a very young age. When I was young I used to self mutilate, I would cut myself when my depression and anxiety were too overwhelming for me to deal with. When I began therapy, my therapist suggested that I try arts and crafts to occupy my mind when I began to feel anxious, to keep me from my self destructive behaviors. It actually worked for me for some time until art in a way became a trigger for my anxiety.

I got into Graffiti and began street bombing when I was 17 years old and it was very liberating and invigorating for me. All who are a part of the Graff culture however, know very well that it inevitably comes with many problems. It brought along beef with other writers, negative rumors, and hate, among other things. I got into fights and had many false rumors about sleeping around with other writers spread about me. But what was most impactful to me was when a friend of mine, Ceet may he Rest In Paradise, was killed just a few blocks away from where I lived at an event I was going to attend due to graff beef. Once a very social person, I became very isolated and developed social anxiety. I was always very weary about where I was going, and who may be there, and the thought of just having certain people around would trigger panic attacks. So I began to distance myself from the whole graff scene. I ultimately decided to quit Graffiti altogether when I was 20 not long after I gave birth to my son, because I felt the risk was no longer worth it.

But with this came a whole new wave of depression. Newly a single mother, when my son was 6 months old I decided it was best to leave New York to try to raise my son in a safer environment. I have to say the next three years had to be one of the most challenging years of my life.

I moved six times between the states of North Carolina, Rhode Island, Florida, and New York within the transcript of those three years each time starting from zero with nothing but mine and my son’s clothes. I had to learn to be a minimalist because I never knew when I would need to pack up and leave again.

When I finally settled in North Carolina, I was able to land a good paying job and get my own apartment.I felt like finally things were falling into place! But a year and a half later, I got laid off work and things began to spiral downhill from there once again. I decided to move back to New York as I felt I would have more leeway and support to go back to school. I finally landed a good paying full time job half way into my semester. The stress of being a full time student, the stress from my high demand job, plus the guilt I felt from not being able to spend as much time as I wanted to with my son had caused me to have the worst anxiety I had ever experienced. I was having anxiety attacks so sporadically and frequently that it was affecting every

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aspect of my life. I had to learn to be the best mom I could to my son while being stuck in the deepest and longest wave of depression I’d ever been in. I had to learn to be resourceful and self reliant and to be a fighter because ultimately I had someone who now completely depended on me. I lost my love for life, my interest in everything, but my son gave me purpose and drive to persevere through it all. He was my biggest blessing.

But to cut it short, I remember reading an article on Buddhism and it instantly clicked it resonated so strongly with my soul. So I went to Barnes and Noble and bought all the books I could afford at the time on Buddhism and Buddhist teachings. That’s how I began to practice letting go, self acceptance, mindfulness, that was the beginning of my healing. I then started to practice energy healing with crystals which I now have such a profound appreciation for.

Getting myself to a healthy state of mind is what sparked my renewed love and appreciation for life, for art, and for all things. Everything is vibrant and beautiful and I learned that there is beauty in our struggles and there is a blessing in everything. So I now look at life with that mind set and when I am facing a difficult time in my life I overcome them so much more easily.

I overcame every difficult day in my life thus far and here I am standing strong with my head held high. This new found confidence and love for myself encouraged me to pursue my art again, because I no longer have a fear of rejection, mediocrity, failure, the unknown, those fears are what drive me rather than hinder me. Now I am able to find solace in art again, and I can use it to express myself in a positive way.

I felt it was necessary for me to share this because, especially lately, I get many comments about having such great energy, being so positive, and unbothered by negativity. But although that may ring true today, there was a time when that couldn’t have been any further from the truth. And I want people who are struggling with these same or similar issues to know that although it may feel like things could never get any better they absolutely can. But you have to take a moment to take care of yourself first. If you feel like it is too much for you to bare don’t ever feel like it’s not okay to seek some professional help. You need to do what ever it takes to better yourself, self care is NOT selfish and there is no shame in that. Get your mind right, show yourself some nurturing, and love, and acceptance, forgive yourself. Once you get yourself in a good and healthy mind space everything else falls into place. As cliché as it may sound, happiness is not a destination, it is not your circumstance, it truly is a state of mind and it IS attainable. If I was able to overcome all of my challenges, I promise you that you can too!

JS: Why does the goddess Venus resonate with you?

V: As a Taurus I am ruled by the Planet and Goddess of love I feel like I naturally carry her energy. I love all sensual things and everything pleasing to my senses flowers, good food, soft textures, good music, I look to see the beauty in everything. I find joy in the smallest of things like funny shapes in the clouds.

I am a hopeless romantic at heart, although I guard my heart with all my being. But once you find your way into my heart, my love is strong, pure, and unconditional, it truly knows no bounds. I am a strong believer in spreading love, encouragement, positive energy to everyone because the world already has so many people and things trying to tear you down and discourage you.I strongly believe you will always be showered with blessings when you give love abundantly, selflessly, and genuinely. It’s not about the good deed, it’s more about the intention behind the deed that was done. So I try to be mindful and accountable for the energy that I put out into the universe. And you never know how your one small act of kindness could positively affect another person or start this domino effect of love and generosity. But if I could positively impact even one person than I have fulfilled my purpose.

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JS: What should we look out for from you in the future?

V: I will be featuring in a few shows this summer including Sunrise Kingdom 2, which I am honored to be a part of. You can expect to see more of me experimenting with different mediums and collaborations with other artists that I admire. I am also making my way into creating my own merchandise and apparel which will hopefully open the door to other projects. I believe this is only the beginning for me as I look to always grow and improve. I don’t feel like I have even reached my full potential yet, I have so much to do, so much to experience, and so much more to learn. I only hope that you guys will embark on this journey with me.

summer 2017| the experience magazine | season v

instagram.com/venusflower_

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SHAYLA RUSS

72 INCHES OF MELANIN

BY JAY STONE

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72 INCHES OF MELANIN JS: The first time I seen your work in person I was pretty fascinated by how skillfully detailed every part of your pieces were. That “Warrior” piece is hard! How would you describe yourself as an artist?

SR: Thank you! Much appreciated! As an artist…I think I’m diverse. I dabble a little in every style. It’s honestly a little difficult for me to describe myself because I don’t have a specific style yet I just like to create whatever I feel at the moment.

That’s how I am with art and life in general – diverse, changeable, just doing a lot at once. I’m also a person who feels things intensely and is still learning how to express herself so my pieces are just one of many ways to do that. They play a huge part in this personal push to be more open and honest in every way. It’s just amazing to see how others gravitate to my work because my pieces are essentially my diary on canvas.

And I’m learning to be more comfortable sharing my diary with people.

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JS: You have a lot of interesting conceptual pieces. What goes on during your creative process that leads to a piece like “Hennessy” where it takes Alice in Wonderland to a more contemporary, socio-political conversational piece?

SR: Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite tales of all time.

It’s full of philosophy and truisms, just like the Cat In the Hat, so it doesn’t take much to turn it into a socio-political piece.

I just changed the poison to a Hennessy bottle so it can be even more relatable for people. But it’s one of those stories where you probably won’t catch much of what its REALLY saying until you’re older. She’s a girl who had a highly imaginative mind and a love for creativity.

Her head is full of ideas and adventure but, there’s a point in the story where she questions her whole sanity and well-being; questions her own judgement and her direction. That’s what makes it a conversational piece because so many people can relate to that – being lost at some point.

My painting in particular was inspired by a quote I saw about AIW that said “She drank from a bottle called drink me. She grew so tall. She ate from a plate called taste me. She grew so small and so she changed while other people tried nothing at all.” So for me it represented losing your mind in the right direction. Any way we chose to go will be the right way as long as we keep trying over and over again.

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JS: How much did you enjoy working on the cover of “Black Joy” SR: Very much! Lyric is an amazing poet from Harlem. We went to high school together and recently reconnected to collab on the artwork for her first book. The artwork was a combination of both of our ideas. It was kind of challenging because that was my first time truly putting my Photoshop skills to use but at the end of the day, we both agreed the result came out great!

JS: Will we be seeing more activism in your work? I definitely hope so!

SR: In this political climate, I’d say yes. How can you not? One thing art does is reflect the times and this is a time of overt, unhidden racism and sexism. Amerikkka’s president is an idiot and is bond to do and say even more idiotic things- proving that he doesn’t care about anything but himself and his pockets. Throughout history, when someone uses their power THAT unwisely, the masses revolt but, on the upside, during that uproar some of the most honest, most beautiful pieces are created.

JS: What do you think is the next stage in your career and how will you take the steps to reach that plateau?

SR: Exposure. Continuing to participate in art shows, linking with dope creatives, and posting more work. I’m working on a website so people can access my work a bit easier.

At first the plan was to just get my pieces of out my bedroom so it’s honestly shocking that I’ve gotten such positive responses to them. I’m truly honored. Ultimately, I just feel like I was given a talent so why not use it to be my own form of relaxation while simultaneously inspiring others.

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Do you really ever pursue art? or Does art pursue you?

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BUDDHA BVNKS My art is just My life in other words My art is just My life in other words My art is just My life in other words 151

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BY THE BAD ONE

TBO: Where are you from?

BB: I’m a Kings County(Brooklyn) carcass who currently resides In Upper West Side. But shout out to Staten Island and all my people there.

Before staying in the city I was living out there for a while so shouts out to them.

TBO: What made you want to pursue art?

BB: Do you really ever pursue art? Or does art pursue you? I’ve been into art my whole life.

When I could barely say what I wanted when I was a child I would just draw it out for my mother. Art was my communication and still is.

So I feel more like art pursued me cause I never went looking to get into art it was always something apart of me.

TBO: How do you describe your art?

BB: Eclectic! My art is very diverse. Every piece i’ve created all drive from a different time, mood, or place in my life. For instance I might make a piece about love and then turn around and make a piece about a night on Henny. My art is just my life in other words. Spiritual yet open and adventurous with a large personality.

BB: Yes and no. I’ve met great people and gained new family and friends pursuing art.

But... With art you’re still going to struggle at first. Don’t get me wrong things do get better in the long run. But first few years you have to struggle find what people like about you and your art but most importantly find what you like about you & your art. Once you find that your life as an artist starts to get better TBO: Are there times where you no longer wish to pursue art?

BB: Of course! Like I said its the struggle. If your art or product doesn’t sell you can’t pay bills or for supplies your livelihood starts to deplete. It’s rough especially when you struggle with mental issues. I’m diagnosed with bipolar disorder, anxiety, and depression. So at times when I see i’m not in the position I want to be it hits me hard and usually i’ll shut art out for a little and then come back but it does get hard at times to want to continue in this art life

TBO: What was your life like before you begin pursuing art?

BB: Boring Lol. Nah ... Before I took art serious my life just consisted on Family, learning new things, sneakers and weed. I was a loner in a lot of ways. I preferred to say to myself in the house and just find things that would keep my mind off things and me productive.

TBO: Has your quality of life changed or improved since you started making and pursing art?

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TBO: What is the real buddha bvnks like?

BB: A family man, funny, chill, wise, etc. With me what you see is what you get. Basically you just got to meet me and learn about me for yourself cause there’s multiple layers with me. who/what inspires you to produce art? My family, My fiance, Life, the lil bro Badone (@ Thebadonenyc), Dre (@Noble_dre_ali), Asare (@ Brokensaint1978) , Kadeem, and many more of my art family.

TBO: Where did you get your name from?

BB: Originally my name back in 08 was Bankz Banco. After a while I didn’t like it I thought it was too hood. Like yeah its a clever play of words cause my name was Banks Bank but only Spanish people really knew how to pronounce it. So it was definitely time for a name change.

Somewhere around 13 a friend of mine gave me the name Afro Buddha cause at the time I had a fro and me being an Indigo and into spirituality it just fit. As time passed more and more people around was against that name. They would tell me “you’re always gonna be Bvnks to me”. I thought about how can I appease both crowds and still enjoy my name. That’s when it hit me “Buddha Bvnks”. I sat at desk like yeah this is perfect. It’s a perfect balance of who I am conscious but hood. A lot of people ask me also why I spell Bvnks with a V so here we go. If you’re into roman numerals or if you play GTA lol you know V stands for 5. My birthday is November 5th , My father’s birthday is December 5th and my favorite number is 5. So when you see the V its much more than just a cool way to spell Bvnks its represents me and my history.

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TBO: What’s your favorite piece that you’ve created?

BB: Favorite piece Hands down is “Love Sparkz”. It was inspired by my fiance. I created it last year around the time things was picking up around me. I’m working on a larger size soon for it. The queen loves her large canvases lol.

TBO: What makes you stands out as an artist? BB: Aside from being fat? Ha. Nah seriously my humbleness and personality.

It shows in my work. After each show I sit down and take in all the advice and constructive criticism I heard in the night and just show it in my next work. I continue to grow whether in one style or multiple.

TBO: What’s coming next from Buddha Bvnks?

BB: Ya’ll can look out for Rich Habit$ merch coming in November. Buddha Bvnks merch mid Summer early Fall. So look out for those preorders. I’m working on my series “Art is my weapon” which will comprise of 3 to 5 paintings of weapons and art tools combined as one. The Rich Habit$ tape which is going to contain Various artist on there. ....And a few other projects I can’t get into right now.

TBO: What kind of music Do you like to listen to when you’re painting?

Honestly just about anything. I can listen to some hood trap shit like Migos and the next I can be listening to Telepopmusic or Toro y Moi. I’ve always had a large music selection so it depends on my mood first and then what i’m creating .

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ACT 3 // DEBBIE Debbie smiled & survived through it all The oldest of three Now a single black mom All that mattered was feeding & caring her lil king.

Pay attention Intelligent, quiet & observant All his teachers raved about him family adored him Debbie proudly looked at her cub an expressionless gaze from his face looked back at her Uncle played brother Grandpa played dad Creating smoke screen for the superman he never had Debbie noticed the Quiet storm brewing in his older eyes The growing thunder he masked in public, at home he couldn’t hide Still she told him he was meant greatness Kept him off the streets & racking up degrees He started a magazine To help & teach ppl that looked like him how to make it Debbie looked at her king A confideent grin returned to his mom Whenever he’s feeling down & defeated She reminds him to remember where he came from

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