BOLD FAITH: VOL 4

4

GROW IN CONFIDENCE. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY.

JOURNEY

FOR GUYS OF FAITH

DARING PURSUIT 1

Connect the dots…

LISTEN. WISDOM SPEAKS. You are called to listen to wisdom in a world full of distractions pulling you in the wrong direction.

Let’s be honest—topics like pornography, trauma, sexual violence, and sex trafficking aren’t easy to talk about. Most people would rather avoid them. But the truth is, these issues are everywhere in today’s culture and impact way more lives than you might think. Whether you’ve faced some of these challenges or just want to stay informed and protect yourself, it’s important to know what you’re up against.

These next few chapters will also show you how pornography, trauma, and abuse connect to the justice issue of sex trafficking. The goal isn’t to scare you but to equip and empower you. You were made to live free, bold, and confident in Christ. By understanding these issues, you’ll protect yourself, help others, and walk in the freedom God designed for you.

Having friends who are like brothers isn’t only about friendship—it’s about standing together. It is about sharpening, celebrating, and supporting each other. The final two chapters will challenge you with a clear call: It’s time to rise to step forward with courage, lock arms with others, and live with purpose. This is your charge—to stand strong in unity, fight for what matters, and lead boldly as godly men of honor.

We believe in you, The Brave & Bold Team

BRAVE & BOLD Copyright © 2025-2026 Releasing Generations Published by Releasing Generations Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

All articles, art, and photographs have been published and printed with the permission of their creators.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations from The Authorized (King James) Version. Rights in the Authorized Version in the United Kingdom are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown’s patentee, Cambridge University Press.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the Holy Scriptures, Tree of Life Version*. Copyright © 2014,2016 by the Tree of Life Bible Society. Used by permission of the Tree of Life Bible Society.

Scripture quotations marked (NIrV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Reader’s Version®, NIrV® Copyright © 1995, 1996, 1998, 2014 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIrV” and “New International Reader’s Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™ Art Direction and Graphic Design by: Ahava Design, LLC. Photos by Unsplash and iStockphoto.

TheBraveSeries.com Through The Brave Series, we are on a mission to help youth and adults of all ages overcome insecurities about their value and purpose. The Brave Series empowers teens and adults to:

The Brave Series is a publication of Explicit Movement, one of three facets of the Releasing Generations organization. You can learn more about Explicit Movement at Explicitmovement.org

• Grow in confidence and emotional health.

Our leadership team has decades of combined experience working with, serving, and supporting teens, young adults, parents, community leaders, and church leaders within many denominations locally and globally.

• Gain wisdom and vision for their future, enabling them to step into their purpose and pursue their dreams.

• Become aware and equipped to safeguard themselves and others from exploitation and sex trafficking victimization.

You are not alone in your struggles.

Learn more at TheBraveSeries.com or visit us at ReleasingGenerations.org Brave & Bold Volume 04 (Faith) – 02/2026

FOR GUYS OF FAITH

DARING PURSUIT

5

THE JOURNEY: 04 The Journey: 04

Journey 01

Journey 02

HE IS BRAVE & BOLD Defining What is Brave & Bold

LET IT GO The Value of Forgiveness

KNOW YOURSELF Becoming Self-Aware

GOOD GRIEF Dealing with Losses in Life

STAND FIRM Being Secure and Confident

UNRAVELING EMOTIONS Navigating Anger, Fear, and Anxiety

CONNECTING WITH GOD Growing in Relationship with God

STAY THE COURSE Persevering Through Hardships

YOUR DESIGN Discovering Your Uniqueness

PARENTS AND YOU Exploring the Impact of Parents

BORN TO CREATE Activating Your Creativity

FORGED IN COMMUNITY The Value of Belonging to a Community

Discover Purpose

FREEDOM TO DREAM Dreaming Big for Your Life

Dig Deeper

DARING PURSUIT Daring Pursuit

Journey 03

Journey 04

BUILDING YOUR CORE Establishing Character

PORNOGRAPHY .. ......................... 14 The Negative Effects of Pornography

VALUES TO LIVE BY Embracing Key Values for Success

OVERCOMING TRAUMA ................ 30 Understanding Trauma

LEADERSHIP Becoming an Effective Leader

SEXUAL VIOLENCE ...................... 42 Addressing Sexual Violence

FRIENDSHIP Building Healthy Friendships

SEX TRAFFICKING ....................... 58 Protect Yourself and Others from Victimization

GUYS AND GIRLS Honoring Girls and Women

THE BROTHERHOOD .................... 78 The Value of Men Arising

HE PROTECTS Guarding, Defending, and Supporting Others

RISING STRONG .......................... 90 Onward with Vision and Purpose

Develop Foundation

Daring Pursuit

List TheBraveSeries.com 8

ten 9

Imagine a place.

A place where heaven’s light exposes darkness So that nothing is hidden.

A place where God’s Beloved are invited To dance and embrace the Light.

Imagine a safe place.

A place where vulnerability is welcomed, Safeguarded, and honored.

Where voices are heard And genuine love transforms lives.

Imagine a resting place.

Homes. Where children and youth Freely entrust their hearts to their parents.

A safe home, where answers to difficult issues Are discovered together…with no shame.

Imagine an honoring place.

Where sexual integrity is embraced.

Where purity is guarded and valued.

A place where battles to protect the marriage bed are won.

Where God’s design for sexuality is celebrated and sacred.

Imagine a healing place.

A place where no person feels alone, unwanted, unloved.

A place where each understands their immense value.

Where lives and broken relationships are restored.

Where God’s forgiveness, grace, and power abound.

Imagine a heavenly place.

Where individuals, families, Cities and nations experience true transformation.

Because the Father made Himself known.

Because Heaven kissed earth through His people.

Imagine a place.

Where no one hides in the darkness, Or in the loneliness of their personal closets.

But is welcomed and beckoned forth To partner with God and help change the world.

Nothing happens just because we are aware.

But nothing will ever happen until we are

aware.

Gary Haugen

Connect the dots...

SEXUAL VIOLENCE: There is a strong correlation

Welcome! You are closer to the finish line! This final stretch of your pathway brings you to an important destination.

Previous chapters have prepared you to now LISTEN to the voices you will hear in this section. Lean in and keep your heart open.

between having been sexually abused and being more vulnerable to being sex trafficked. Research has shown that 93% - 98% of sex trafficked victims were previous victims of sexual violence or molestation. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention findings state that more than 1 in 3 women and nearly 1 in 4 men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact at some point in their lives. If you have not been sexually abused yourself, you may know someone who has been mistreated in this way. You may have wondered how you can help them heal. We are here to empower you.

But first, there are dots that need to be connected between pornography, trauma, sexual violence, and sex trafficking.

PORNOGRAPHY: The average age of first exposure to pornography in America is 9-11 years old. We live in a culture where almost all, if not all teen boys have viewed or are addicted to pornography. Teen girls viewing pornography is on the rise and is often considered a normal pastime. Yet, viewing pornography damages relationships, fuels the demand for sex trafficking, and promotes violence against females.

We want to empower you to live healthy and victoriously with sexual integrity—God’s wonderful design for you!

SEX TRAFFICKING: Wait, what?! You might think sex trafficking has nothing to do with you—that it happens to other people, not you. Hopefully, you’re right. But the truth is, recruiters often pretend to be trusted friends. They’ll try to seduce, trick, and manipulate teens into getting trapped.

Knowing their tactics can help you stay one step ahead and protect yourself and others.

OVERCOMING TRAUMA: Overcoming trauma is

HEALING: We hope this section encourages you and helps

crucial because unhealed wounds can leave you stuck in unhealthy patterns, making it easier for others to manipulate and control you. Having unhealed trauma can lower your defenses and cloud your judgment, leaving you more vulnerable to people who want to take advantage of you— especially in situations like sex trafficking. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but facing your trauma head-on will help you grow stronger, protect yourself, and step into the freedom and confidence you were made for.

you become a safe and reliable friend for those who might need support. Get ready to pick up solid insights, wisdom, and tools that will help you step up and stand out as the brave and confident person you’re meant to be!

“Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you.

Love her, and she will guard you.

Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!

And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.”

Proverbs 4:6-7 NLT

13

“Pornography isn’t real— it distorts love, relationships, and what’s truly meaningful.

It steals your focus, joy, and potential. Your future is too valuable to let porn hold you back.”

DEREK MICHAEL HART

Chapter 01

Pornography Sexual Violence & Trauma Sex Trafficking The Brotherhood Rising Strong

Pornography

Pornography might seem harmless at first, but it’s actually a trap connected. Porn fuels the demand for more extreme content, and that can mess you up in ways you don’t expect. It rewires your that demand leads to real people being exploited and trafficked brain, making you crave more while giving you less satisfaction to create it. Some of what you see online might even involve over time. It can distort how you see real relationships, people, victims of trafficking. By watching it, you’re unknowingly and yourself. What starts as curiosity can turn into addiction, supporting an industry that thrives on using and hurting people. affecting your confidence, mental health, and even your future Choosing to walk away from porn helps protect others from relationships. It promotes unrealistic ideas about sex and can being exploited. leave you feeling empty and disconnected. The truth is, porn “The most powerful sex organ is actually your brain. If you isn’t just entertainment—it’s a cheap substitute for something are regularly feeding your brain images that are designed real and meaningful, and it can hold you back from living with to inspire lust, it’s going to be difficult to rule your thoughts true freedom. and keep you from violating your virtues.”

Every click fuels an industry built on pain and exploitation. Most Kris Vallotton people don’t realize it, but pornography and sex trafficking are

15

RESISTING OBJECTIFICATION CHOOSING COURAGE

by Richard and Brittni De La Mora

Richard: What’s up, fellas? I’m Richard, and I’m excited to chat with you today. Brittni and I have seen firsthand the damage porn can do to individuals, relationships, and even your relationship with God. We’re here to help you see the truth and give you the tools to rise above it.

Hey Guys, Let’s Talk.

Brittni: First off, I’m so proud of you for being part of Brave & Bold.

You’re here because you want to become the best version of yourself—and that takes guts. One of the biggest challenges facing young men today is pornography. It’s everywhere, and the world wants you to believe it’s harmless fun. But that’s a lie.

REMEMBER: PERFORMANCES ARE DONE BY ACTORS AND ACTRESSES Brittni: Here’s the truth: What you see in porn is 100% fake. I know because I used to work in the adult film industry. The emotions, the relationships, even the “fun” you see—it’s all scripted. Behind the scenes, many performers are hurting deeply and struggling with shame, depression, and addiction.

My husband, Richard, and I know this battle well, and we want to share our hearts with you—not to judge but to inspire. Trust us, there’s so much more to life than what porn promises.

16

BREAKING FREE: A GAME PLAN FOR COURAGE

I’ve lost friends to overdoses and suicide. I almost didn’t make it out alive myself. But God rescued me. His love set me free from the darkness I thought I’d never escape. I’m forever grateful for that.

Richard: Freedom isn’t easy, but it’s possible. And you’re not alone.

Here are some steps that helped me—and can help you and others you know too:

Richard: Porn might feel exciting in the moment, but it leaves a lasting mark on your heart and mind. It messes with how you see people in real life. Instead of seeing others as valuable and worthy of love, porn trains you to see them as objects. It’s not just a bad habit—it’s a trap.

• Talk to Someone You Trust. Don’t keep it hidden.

Confess it to a mentor, parent, youth leader—someone who will support and pray with you.

• Read the Bible & Pray. Studies show that guys who read Scripture every day are 61% less likely to fall into porn.

God’s Word fills you with truth and strength.

• Watch What You Watch. Be intentional about the shows, social media, and music you allow into your life.

Garbage in = garbage out.

THE HUMAN COST: REAL LIVES, REAL PAIN Brittni: Every person you see in a porn video is a real human being.

They have families, dreams, and struggles. They’re not just some screen fantasy—they’re people who need love and healing.

Brittni: • Replace the Lies with God’s Truth. When you feel the urge to watch porn, read your Bible or pray. The Word of God is powerful—it breaks chains.

• Use Helpful Tools. Apps like Covenant Eyes keep you accountable and block risky content. It’s not about rules—it’s about guarding your freedom.

• Know Your Worth. You’re not the mistakes you’ve made.

God’s grace is bigger than your past. He sees a warrior in you.

Richard: When you watch porn, you’re not just “looking.” You’re supporting an industry that profits from brokenness. But you have the power to change that. When you choose not to watch, you’re choosing compassion. You’re saying, “I see these people as humans, not entertainment.” That’s what being brave and bold looks like.

GOD’S VISION FOR YOU: FREEDOM AND STRENGTH

A CHALLENGE FOR YOU

Brittni: Here’s what God says about you: You are His masterpiece, created for love and made with purpose. Porn is a cheap imitation of the real thing. When I gave my life to Jesus, I experienced the power of His healing love that restored me.

Brittni: Here’s my challenge to you: choose courage. Be the guy who stands up for what’s right, even when it’s hard. You’re stronger than porn, and you’re made for so much more.

Richard: God has an amazing plan for your life, and it starts with the choices you make today. Step into the man God created you to be—compassionate, strong, and free. We’re cheering for you every step of the way.

Richard: God calls you to protect and lead, not to consume and hide.

You have the strength to stand against the lies porn tells you. Imagine what would happen if you used that energy to pray for those in the industry instead of watching them.

Your prayers and choices make a difference.

You’ve got this!

With love and prayers, Brittni & Richard

P.S. Want to learn More? If you’re ready to dive deeper, visit lovealwaysministries.com (https://lovealwaysministries.com) for books, resources, courses, and ways to connect with us. You can also follow us on Instagram: @lovealwaysministries, @brittnidelamora, @richardelamora Brittni has a beautiful story displaying the immense love of our Heavenly Father to rescue and restore lives. Once a famous porn actress, she now ministers with her husband Richard through Love Always Ministries, where as a team, they share powerful wisdom and guidance on healthy relationships, sexual integrity, living with purpose, and so much more!

17

VICTORIOUS LOVE

convince her to sleep with me. She got pregnant; then I tried to cover it up. I even had her husband killed to hide my guilt.

You see, lust is concerned with what you can get for yourself. Love honors and benefits others. My lust and the shame that followed would have swallowed me up if it wasn’t for God’s grace and kindness. He sent the prophet Nathan, my friend, to call out my denial to my face. I endured the painful consequences of my actions.

Weeping bitterly, I asked God to forgive me and put me back on His path.

Repentance—turning from my way to God’s way. That’s what made me “a man after God’s own heart.” I wanted God to be glorified in my life. His kindness kept leading me away from lust, away from my brokenness, and back to Him. Not perfection, but passion. God is not asking you to be perfect but to passionately seek him. Honoring Him and submitting to His pure and loving way brings the joy, blessing, and life you seek. He wanted my heart, and He wants yours, too.

by John Allison

“A man after God’s own heart.” That’s how I’m usually described. Righteous. Wise. Perfect, right? No. There’s only one King that fits that description, and it certainly isn’t me.

I had my moments, sure! I spared Saul’s life when I could have killed him and become king. I danced for God with all my might when they brought back the Ark of the Covenant.

I wrote almost half the book of Psalms.

But did you know I had a problem with lust?

One of my greatest failures—of which there were many, I promise you—was when I saw a woman taking a bath on her roof. I could have walked away, closed the window, or just looked away! I didn’t. I watched.

One choice! One foolish, tiny lapse of judgment. Because of that choice, I kept choosing sin for a while. I called this woman to my bedroom. I used my power and authority as king to

A creative narrative written by John Allison based on the life of David in I Samuel 11 and 12:1-22.

18

FREEDOM FROM THE LIE

So, what does it really take to be free?

Here’s the answer: radical inconvenience.

Matthew 5:29-30, NIV states: “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

He’s not talking about literally hurting yourself—He’s making a strong point. Your eyes are how you see. Your hand is how you act. If something in your life is causing you to stumble, you’ve got to be willing to remove it—even if it’s inconvenient.

That might mean deleting apps, avoiding certain websites, or changing what kind of content you consume. It might even mean inconveniently changing who you hang out with or when and where you’re on your phone.

by Mark Palompo

Let me ask you something: Have you ever told a lie?

Of course you have. We all have.

Have you ever lived a lie?

I did.

To everyone around me, I looked like a faithful follower of Jesus. I encouraged others on how to live a blessed life in God, but behind the scenes, I was trapped in an addiction to pornography. It was destroying me, and I was hiding it.

I was living a lie.

But that’s the kind of radical step that leads to real freedom.

I wasn’t just lying to the people around me—I was lying to myself. I told myself things like, “It’s not that bad. I’m not addicted. I can stop anytime.” And, “It’s not really hurting anyone.”

But the truth? I couldn’t stop. And I was hurting people— including myself.

Because porn creates unhealthy patterns and rewires your thinking, over time, it can twist how you view people, relationships, and even yourself.

In his book Clean, Dr. Weiss provides a substantial amount of evidence based on research revealing how destructive a secret sexual addiction is for one’s marriage and children.

He talks about how porn affects not just your future but your marriage, your confidence, and your calling. Secret sin—is not as secret as you think. It impacts your future relationships and can seriously damage someone else’s self-worth, especially a future wife, by increasing the likelihood that she will experience feelings of depression, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts.

Dr. Weiss writes, “Most of us men would like our wives to feel good about themselves. We want our spouses to feel confident, beautiful, and adequate. If you are dabbling with a secret sexual life, you are almost guaranteeing your wife’s self-esteem will be damaged.” (Clean: A Proven Plan for Men Committed to Sexual Integrity).

But here’s the deal: most people won’t actually change until the pain of not changing becomes greater than the pain of change. We stay stuck until we hit a breaking point where we realize, “If I don’t stop this, it’s going to ruin my life.”

Let me say this clearly: You cannot live in secret sin and still fully live the life God has for you. God’s plan for you is so much bigger than this, but you’ll never experience it if you’re stuck living a double life.

One radical step I took was telling someone the truth. I found someone I trusted who was mature and wise—and I got honest. James 5:16 NLT says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

There’s something powerful about getting it out into the light.

Sin grows in the dark. But when you’re honest? That’s where healing begins.

Another step that helped me? Accountability software.

I use one called Covenant Eyes. It tracks what I view online and sends a report to my accountability partner. It also blocks access to dangerous content. Yeah, it was awkward at first. But honestly, it has saved me in moments of weakness. Tools like this make it harder to fall—and that’s a good thing.

If you’re living a lie right now and feel stuck and ashamed, know this: you’re not alone or beyond hope. Freedom is possible. Healing is possible. Don’t buy the lie that you’ll always struggle with this or that this will always define you.

And God’s plan for you? It’s too important to let this hold you back. But you’ve got to be willing to go after freedom radically with everything you’ve got.

19

to engage in life activities and would procrastinate on things that seemed hard.

Porn hurts people, plain and simple. For a long time, I told myself that watching porn wasn’t affecting anyone. But the truth is, it did—especially the people I cared about most. It hurt my wife, my family, and even the women in those videos or pictures. Porn teaches you to see women as objects instead of real people who deserve respect and dignity. Many women in the industry don’t want to be there and are often forced into it.

On top of that, my addiction caused my wife serious emotional pain and stress, which I believe even impacted her health.

I tried to beat my porn addiction on my own, but I just couldn’t. Later, I got hooked on gaming, which became another unhealthy escape for me. I spent way too much time and money on video games, which negatively affected my relationship with my wife, family, and even my job. Combining gaming with my porn addiction only made things worse. It was like trying to escape one problem by creating another.

I tried to break out of this mess by spending lots of money on counseling, going to support groups, and even using monitoring software on all my devices. All of these things helped a bit, but none of them got me completely free from porn. It felt like I was stuck in the same cycle, no matter what I tried.

Because of this addiction, my marriage ended in divorce.

This was such a painful low point in my life.

The only way I experienced true freedom from this addiction was when I realized just how much God loves me and who I am in Christ. When I fully turned my heart to Him, I finally beat the pull of pornography. Sadly, I didn’t get to this point before I deeply hurt my wife and family while almost ruining my career.

But God! His mercy and grace are amazing. In time, God helped to heal and restore my marriage and family, but it came at a high price. I had to work proactively to rebuild broken relationships and regain the trust of those I love. My wife forgave me, witnessed my change, and we remarried. This was truly a miracle.

I urge you, young man, don’t make the same mistakes I did. Stay away from porn. It’s super destructive and creates habits that are hard to break. Remember my story. Remember that I struggled and suffered through 46 years with this damaging addiction – an experience I do not want you to go through. My road to freedom and the restoration of my marriage and family was tough, yet I found hope and healing with God. Stand strong and firm on the Lord’s wisdom and great plans for you.

However, if you’re currently dealing with pornography, what helped me as a first step was to find someone to talk with whom I could trust, a mentor who understood what I was going through. Getting my secret life out in the open was the start of breaking free from my shame and the negative effects of my battle.

There is great hope, healing, and strength found in God! His love and guidance will help you move forward into your future with a stronger mind and heart.

MY 46-YEAR JOURNEY INTO THE LIGHT

by Gary Hessler

Have you ever taken the wrong path on a hiking trail and found yourself quite lost in a dark place? Or ever entered a hedge maze where you come across one dead end after another while trying to find your way to freedom? Life can sometimes feel like that.

Although I grew up in a Christian home, I found pornography around age 12 while staying at my uncle’s house. He had pornographic magazines lying around, which, as a young boy, caught my attention. By the time I was old enough to buy the magazines myself, I was hooked. My pornography addiction advanced to videos and eventually to porn on the internet.

I always felt such a strong sense of guilt and shame around viewing porn that I didn’t feel I could talk to anybody about it. I felt very isolated and alone. I thought my need for pornography would go away when I got married, and while it did help some, I always went back to it. I was hooked and didn’t see a way out of it.

You might have heard this before, but watching porn affects your brain by releasing chemicals that trigger its pleasure center. Over time, this can make your brain crave porn more and more. If it goes on for too long, it can mess with your brain in a way that’s similar to someone who’s had a traumatic brain injury.

Porn affected my relationships with others and caused me to withdraw from interacting socially. Instead, I lived for my next encounter with pornographic images. I lacked motivation

20

21

BORN A WARRIOR, TRAINED A CONQUEROR

over time. It’s not just about deciding to stop. It requires a lot more intentionality.

To break free, I needed support to stop the behavior long enough to start creating new thought patterns. This “renewing of the mind” wasn’t easy—it took time, effort, and consistency.

But once I truly understood the battle, my approach changed. I kept training, getting back up after every slip-up, and eventually, I stopped falling. I became a conqueror.

If you’re in this fight, take heart. You can win. But you need to know what you’re up against and how to fight it wisely.

Trying harder isn’t enough. As the saying goes, “Fight smarter, not harder.”

Here are some practical tips that helped me—and I believe they can help you too.

by Ben Klassen

Imagine you’re watching an MMA fight. The match has just started, but one of the fighters is making rookie mistakes.

At first, it looks like a rough start, but soon, it’s clear—this guy doesn’t know how to fight. Blow after blow, he goes down fast.

Later, you find out he wasn’t trained at all. He just signed up, thinking he could win on sheer confidence. Pretty silly, right?

But honestly—how different is that from how many of us approach our battles, especially with pornography? We fight this battle without any training and are knocked down time and again. We need preparation and strategy to win this fight, just as athletes train hard before stepping into the arena.

When I was growing up, my dad warned me about the dangers of pornography. But at sixteen, curiosity got the best of me. I convinced myself I could handle just a “quick peek.” I arrogantly thought, “I got this.” But I didn’t. That one peek got me hooked. Shame flooded in, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop.

Four years later, I joined a six-month volunteer trip to Europe and the Middle East. The training period at the beginning opened my eyes. I began to understand that I was valuable and deeply loved—even with my flaws. That truth began breaking pornography’s grip on me.

Relapses still happened, but they were less frequent. I knew I needed more understanding and better strategies to conquer it for good.

1. Get support.

You can’t do this alone. Find mentors and friends you trust who will keep you accountable. Accountability not only helps when temptation hits, it also breaks shame—one of the biggest barriers to freedom. Don’t isolate yourself. Find others who are fighting, too. Be honest, encourage each other, and fight forward together.

2. Be intentional about the content you are consuming.

What you watch matters. Be mindful of the content you consume—on social media, streaming platforms, and other media. Avoid things that trigger temptation. But don’t just remove the bad—replace it with good. Feed your mind with content that inspires, strengthens, and builds you up. As your body needs good food, your mind needs good input.

PORNOGRAPHY – A BATTLE OF THE MIND

3. Know your triggers.

Opening up was at first scary and hard, but I began sharing my struggle with people I trusted. I found mentors to coach me and invited close friends to help hold me accountable. I installed accountability software and picked up hobbies to turn to when I felt tempted.

I also started learning more—books, online resources, real stories. That’s when I realized this is primarily a battle of the mind.

First, I saw that pornography had become a way to cope. It became my escape when I felt stress, shame, fear, loneliness, or anger. I needed to find healthier ways to respond when I was triggered.

Second, I recognized that pornography had fed me lies— about sex, women, and myself. It painted an unrealistic view of relationships, and the shame I carried made me believe I was broken. I had to rewire my thinking and replace those lies with truth.

Finally, I learned about the addictive nature of porn.

It’s not just a bad habit—it’s a chemical cycle. Watching pornography releases chemicals in the brain, similar to how drugs work. That feel-good hit trains your brain to crave more, forming strong mental pathways that become harder to break

Triggers are real. Stress, boredom, loneliness, anger, or even just being tired make us more vulnerable. Use the acronym HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) to remember the big ones. Also, be aware of your environment—being alone in your room or having your phone in the bathroom can be high-risk. Knowing your triggers helps you prepare and avoid falling into the trap.

4. Create healthy distractions Don’t just fight the urge—redirect it. Replace harmful patterns with healthy habits. Pick up a new skill, try a sport, learn to play an instrument, or do something creative. When you fill your life with activities that challenge and excite you, the need to escape through porn starts to fade. It’s not just about stopping bad habits—it’s about starting something better.

The battle is real, but you’re not alone—and you don’t have to stay stuck. With training, support, and strategy, you can overcome. You were never meant to be a casualty. You were meant to be a conqueror.

22

ACTIVIT Y

The Strategies of a Conqueror

by Ben Klassen

The battle for sobriety from pornography is about rewiring the pathways in our minds. And this takes a lot of effort and discipline.

1. GET SUPPORT Make a short list here of the people you trust who will either help keep you accountable to have a porn-free lifestyle or walk with you through freedom from a pornography struggle.

2. BE INTENTIONAL WITH THE CONTENT YOU ARE CONSUMING Make a list of things you actually want to focus on that build you up and keep your mind clear. Write down topics you’re passionate about, things you want to learn more about, and/or your favorite movies or shows that have positive, uplifting messages. Avoid anything that could lead you down a path toward watching porn.

Keep your mind locked on things that inspire and help you grow.

3. BE AWARE OF YOUR TRIGGERS BE SELF-AWARE: Check the triggers that can cause you to want to turn to pornography or other unhealthy ways to deal with your emotions: feeling lonely feeling angry feeling tired

feeling stress/anxiety feeling afraid feeling ashamed

feeling guilty or regretful feeling sad/grief other:

Fight triggers by building healthy distractions. List some new hobbies, skills, or activities you would like to explore getting involved in below. Then, take steps to explore getting involved!

4. BE PATIENT WITH YOUR PROGRESS Be patient with yourself if you slip up. Slip-ups happen—but every time you get back up, you get stronger. Keep going. That’s how real growth happens.

Like an aggressive weed that wraps around and strangles a Hawaiian Ti plant, pornography slowly takes over your mind, choking out your focus, drive, peace, and even the way you see relationships. What starts as something small can grow out of control, making it harder to stay motivated, reach your goals, and live with real purpose.

Get free and stay free!

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Every breakthrough begins with a choice. But lasting freedom starts with a commitment to a strategy that works.

only question is: are you willing to do the hard work necessary to know the signs, get free…and stay free?

3 KEYS TO BREAKING PORN’S POWER You ready? Here we go…

1. Cut out harmful social media and pornified media.

For many of you, it’s time to take the 21-Day Unplugged Challenge. This is when you grab a few friends or family members, and together, you cut out all social media for 21 days (if you’re SUPER SERIOUS, you may want to include entertainment screens as well, like video games, TV, and streaming movies and sites like YouTube).

We do this as a family twice a year, and it’s amazing how it detoxes your heart and rewires your mind (…BTW, if you’re thinking right now, “I could never do this!” then chances are you NEED to do this.)

Another thing you may need to do is delete social media apps that feed your insecurities, encourage you to compare yourself with others, and are filled with pornified culture (and have hooks leading into hardcore porn itself, which every social media app has).

FREE FROM PORN!

LIVING AN EMPOWERED, HEALTHY SEXUAL LIFE YOU CAN BE PROUD OF

by Dean Kaneshiro

Porn is absolutely destroying the lives of young men in your generation. And the scariest part? No one wants to talk about it.

In fact, hardcore pornography itself is not just a fastgrowing addiction for kids today, but it is silently doing something equally destructive all around them as well: it is creating a pornified culture.

Pornified culture is a term I first heard from Dr. Gail Dines, who uses it to describe how violent, objectifying, womenhating porn is slowly influencing every part of our culture… without us even recognizing it.

Think about the posters, ads, and magazine covers you see in shops and the mall. Or YouTube music videos from pop stars and hip-hop artists. Or the hyper-sexualized vids on your friends’ Insta, TikTok, or Snapchat. Or the normal, everyday occurrence of a young woman sexting a guy after he hits her up: “Send nudes.”

Delete them? Are you crazy?

Well, maybe not.

I’ve got a friend in his twenties who gave up his iPhone and switched it out for a flip phone for months… hold up, did you catch that? He switched it out for a FLIP PHONE FOR MONTHS until he could detox his mind and flush out his heart. He had to GO BIG because he was losing his soul.

In other words, he was truly loving himself.

If you know—and you already do as you’re reading this— that there are social media apps, TV shows, or streaming services you’re connected to that are dragging you down a dangerous path, you’ve got to cut that stuff out today. Your soul is too valuable.

Here’s the trick: don’t play with fire…don’t fool around with your heart. If you truly love and respect yourself, GO BIG and fight for a healthy future.

There is a strong cultural pressure on young people to sexualize themselves for the pleasure and acceptance of the culture around them.

2. Capture a vision for an awesome sexual relationship in marriage.

It’s not just limited to porn, as awful and dehumanizing as that is. It is creeping into every aspect of our culture. And here’s where it gets super scary: it is grooming young men and boys to be taken advantage of, abused, or even trafficked for sex.

And yes, I mean you too.

If you can break the lie “this will never happen to me” and awaken to the slimy tricks of how pornified culture is grooming you to be taken advantage of, you can stay free from its toxic influence. And not just that, you’ll be on your way to living an empowered and healthy sexual life you can be proud of. The

Did you know that, overall, married people have the BEST sex?

Oh, stop it, that’s not how the movies and porn make it look.

Right? Movies, TV shows, and porn always make it seem like hookups are hot but married people are boring and stingy. And yet study after study—including a recent one from Arizona State and Illinois State Universities— reveal that it’s true: in general, married couples have the best, most satisfying sex lives!

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LIVE FOR LOVE

One reason for that is that sex is not just physical (as our pornified culture makes us believe). It is emotional and spiritual and engages all of who we are, including the bonding chemicals in our brain that deeply connect us to the person we have sex with. And when sex happens outside of the life-long promise of marriage—continuously breaking that powerful brain/body chemical bond—it leads to brokenness, fear, disappointment, and confusion.

You are more than your body.

So when you have a YES—a powerful vision—for something amazing and beautiful, it’s easier to say NO to the things that come your way to destroy it. A YES to the amazing design and security of marriage is a NO to pornography, hookup life, and pornified culture in all its forms.

I know not everyone has it in their hearts to be married, which is totally fine. That might be you. But understanding that marriage is the safest place for sex to thrive—and you fighting for that truth—will keep you living empowered to be just who you are… whether you get married or not.

Imagine life as an adult—an empowered man who knows who he is and is free from porn.

Imagine looking into the eyes of your soon-to-be-wife on your wedding day without the fear of sexual images of yourself floating around out there online (or in a revengeful ex-girlfriend’s phone)…and with nothing to hide in darkness or shame.

It’s time to fight for a reality where you are deeply aware of your value and you are free from the slavery and traps set by pornography. THAT is a sexually satisfying vision for your future.

Get educated about the harms and pitfalls of porn and how predators manipulate young men—just like you—to trap them into paying cash so they won’t share their nudes. Take action on setting yourself free… whatever it takes.

You can do it. Your soul is worth it.

3. Build your value and identity on the reality that you are

Dean Kaneshiro (Insta: @deankaneshiro) is a certified Building Family Connections instructor through the Medical Institute for Sexual Health, and has been equipping parents and youth in practical tools for healthy living in marriage, parenting, dating, technology, and sexuality for over 15 years.

a human made in the image of God. This might be hard for you. In fact, it’s hard for us all.

Pornified culture teaches that our value comes from how hot we are…how much girls look at us, comment about us, and want to hook up with us. And we can translate that attention into the fact that we now have VALUE. And it feels good.

So, we pornify ourselves to get more attention.

See how the trap works?

We’ve got to replace sexual attention from young women with self-love and self-acceptance. It looks like this: “I am a child of God; therefore, I have value.” Not like this: “I am sexy; therefore, people check me out. Therefore, I have value.”

In a pornified culture, this is hard, daily work that takes place in our minds and hearts. But it’s critical.

So do the hard work to build your value and identity on the right thing—your humanity. To the degree you do this, this is the degree you’ll be free from pornified culture, sexting, hardcore porn addictions, and hookups that will poison your soul.

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Journal What are some new insights gained about pornography from this chapter?

Mindful Lettering: Trace the lettering. It does not have to be perfect. You may rewrite the phrase a number of times on the page. Enjoy the process of mindful lettering.

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Chapter 1: Pornography

• • • • • • •

Activity

Walk it out.

Resisting Objectification: Choosing Courage Victorious Love Freedom from the Lie My 46-Year Journey Into the Light Born a Warrior, Trained a Conqueror Choosing Courage: Why You’re Stronger Than Porn Free From Porn!

Choose one or more action steps:

1.

3.

Do a research project on the harmful effects of pornography, such as its effects on the adolescent brain. Read some research articles, for example, from the website fightthenewdrug.org. Share your findings with others.

Keeping your mind filled with the Word of God and positive messages can help you stay away from porn. Find a podcast that motivates you, teaches you something new, and pushes you to become your best self.

2.

If you and your friends are serious about breaking free and/or staying free from porn, think about starting an accountability group. It’s a space where you can keep it real, support each other, and stay on track toward living with sexual integrity. Work on a creative plan together on how to support each other daily and weekly.

The struggle is real, and so is hope.

Text 494949 to chat now | FREE Mental Health Chat Center | 24/7 for those over 13 years old.

1-888-373-7888 | Toll-Free Hotline | 24/7 | Confidential | Get Help. Report Trafficking.

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“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

PSALM 147:3 NIV

Chapter 02

Pornography Sexual Violence & Trauma Sex Trafficking The Brotherhood Rising Strong

Overcoming Trauma

Let’s be real—life can hit hard sometimes. Maybe you’ve been through moments you’d rather forget, or you’ve experienced hurt that left deep scars. Trauma is the pain caused by those experiences, and if it’s not dealt with, it can weigh you down.

You might try to ignore it or push it aside, but unhealed trauma has a way of showing up in your life, making it harder to trust others, handle emotions, or see yourself the way God sees you.

Worse, it can leave you vulnerable to people who want to take advantage of your pain.

but every step forward is proof of God’s strength working in you. Every tough chapter is an opportunity for Him to shape you into a stronger, braver version of who He created you to be. The process might not be easy, but it’s worth it. You were created to live free and whole, not stuck in past pain. Healing allows you to rebuild trust, gain strength, and step into the purpose God has for your life. No matter what you’ve been through, there’s hope, and your story isn’t over.

And you can be a great source of comfort, healing, and encouragement to those around you who are hurting. You will also learn how to strengthen others in this chapter.

Here’s the good news: healing is possible. God desires to heal our hurts. You don’t have to carry that weight forever. In this chapter, we’ll unpack how trauma affects you—and, most importantly, how to begin healing from it. Healing takes time,

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UNDERSTANDING TRAUMA: NAVIGATING THE JOURNEY TOWARD HEALING

Another powerful way to calm ourselves is to imagine taking a trip to a real or imagined safe place like a warm sandy beach or your favorite room.

Close your eyes and take a few minutes to imagine a happy, peaceful place.

Notice details about this place, like the temperature, colors, and sounds. You may notice someone is there with you, like a friend, Jesus, or an angel. Are they saying or doing anything?

Then, open your eyes and recall what you just experienced, including your strongest feelings.

Often, people notice they have a sense of deep peace and security. As your brain comes back online, your body relaxes, and you can think more clearly. Envisioning a safe place can help release stress whenever you are anxious.

Recovering from trauma often requires professional help from a trained therapist as well as support from family, youth leaders, and friends. The best ways they can be helpful are to listen, be patient, and be encouraging. Their love, support, and prayers can bring strength and healing.

Trauma is not something we just “get over.” It often takes months or even years to heal, especially if these events happened repeatedly over a long period when we were young.

As we meditate on God’s Scripture promises, we can grow our faith and trust in God. The Holy Spirit comforts and guides us through life’s difficulties.

God’s unfailing love gives us confidence, hope, and courage to overcome our “giants.” The very thing that Satan would have liked to use to destroy us is also the very thing that will create a path of opportunity to overcome adversity and even thrive so we can make a difference in the world.

Pursue your healing! You are an overcomer, brave and bold one!

by Melody Stone

Imagine walking through a jungle and suddenly encountering a tiger. With your heart racing and adrenaline rushing through your body, a normal survival response would be to run away, attempt to defend yourself by fighting off the tiger, or freeze, maybe playing dead.

When something super stressful or scary happens, your body kicks into survival mode—this is called the fight, flight, or freeze response. It’s like your body’s emergency system hitting the gas pedal to get you out of danger fast. The cerebral cortex, the reasoning part of your brain, goes offline when trauma occurs. Then, the limbic system, your emotional brain, releases chemicals triggering shock, confusion, and panic. This overwhelming experience is like throwing a lot of papers into the air on a windy day and then struggling to collect them.

What is trauma? Trauma is an emotional scar that results in deep pain, shame, or guilt from witnessing or being the victim of violence or a terrible event. Common experiences that may result in a person being diagnosed with Posttraumatic stress disorder include: • A car accident • Being bullied • Experiencing sexual, verbal, or physical abuse

• Being abandoned or rejected • The death of a loved one

PTSD affects our ability to think clearly, make decisions, process information, trust ourselves or others, heal from painful experiences, and function in our daily lives.

Common responses from trauma include having flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty concentrating or sleeping, disconnecting from reality, becoming over-reactive, or panic attacks. Depression, anxiety, and stress also mimic some symptoms of PTSD; however, PTSD affects the body in more intense ways.

Since we cannot think our way out of trauma, we can use techniques that help our body slow down and regain control.

• An effective way to calm the nervous system is to breathe deeply and slowly 5-6 times.

• You may count things in a room, like all the brown books on a shelf or the leaves on a plant.

• “Creature comforts,” including a warm drink, a snack, or a soft blanket, help a person become grounded and safe in the present moment.

• Think about things you are grateful for. Developing a thankful attitude releases powerful endorphins (positive brain chemicals)

“Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose.”

Michelle Rosenthal “Instead of saying ‘I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues,’ say ‘I’m healing, I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.” – Horacio Jones Melody Stone, M.A.Ed., Counseling, LMHC, Certified Trauma trained therapist | Ambassador and professional trainer with Shared Hope International | Founder, “Hawai’i Island Safe Net,” A volunteer network providing support and services for at-risk youth and survivors of human trafficking | Founder, Hawai’i Island Coalition Against Human Trafficking.

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TAKING FLIGHT: Settling In and Lifting Off An image of the healing process to freedom and wholeness.

by Amy Yu

Painting by Amy Yu

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ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES AND THE POWER OF HOPE

by Dawn O’brien

• Your mother was treated violently (Did you often witness your mother treated with physical violence or threatened with a weapon?)

• Separation/divorce of parents (Did your parents ever get separated or divorced?)

• Incarcerated (Did a household member ever go to prison?)

We are all just children trying to find home. I was nine when my parents got divorced. Done were the years of fights, cold shoulders, unspoken words, and the YELLING! You’d think it would have gotten better, but it was like jumping from a hot sidewalk into lava.

My mom had custody of me and my three little sisters.

When we got to the airport, she said goodbye. She had a oneway ticket to California; we were headed to live with her family in a poor country. We soon found ourselves in dark places— hungry, abandoned, bullied, and abused, even sexually.

And so alone. There was no help or hope, just bad and worse.

Having ONE is damaging to a child; a high score is four or more. How many do you have?

Keeping this in mind might help you pursue healing and tackle the real problems in a way that could prevent health issues down the road.

I have nine of the 10, so I joke that I’m a poster child for ACEs. I “aced” the ACEs test, LOL! What’s not funny is the bad choices I made and the dark places I ended up in. Like jail. Or my darkest and loneliest place: contemplating suicide.

DARK PLACES Many of us experience various types of trauma growing up. Trauma is just a word for intense bad things that happen to good kids and can cause them to make bad choices, like self-harm and suicide, smoking, drinking, drugging, etc. Toxic stress from these traumas can damage brain development (yikes!) and is linked to mental illness and chronic health problems later in life.

The CDC (Center for Disease Control) - Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study is one of the largest research studies that investigated the connection between childhood traumas and later-life health and wellbeing. This study focused on ten common traumas, naming them Adverse Childhood Experiences, known as ACEs.

SUNNY SIDE UP! When I turned 14, I was over being a throwaway kid in a dumpster world. I planned my suicide for a Sunday afternoon.

I walked into a church to say my last prayers.

The pastor talked about a man in our church who had tried to commit suicide but failed. He quoted Jeremiah 29:11 NLT, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

That hit harder than a bullet, deeper than any pill. The pastor finished, “Someone here today is at the end of their rope; let’s pray! Will you allow Jesus to come into your dark places and heal your heart?” For the first time since my parents’ divorce, I saw tears flowing out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

My life flipped from death and darkness to life and light.

It’s a roller coaster ride, and I’m still working it out, but OH, THE RIDE! Friend, you’re reading this for a reason: God wants you to know you’re loved beyond the mess and darkness. He really does have a plan for a future and hope for you, and there IS HELP! Your future is worth fighting for, so keep pushing forward through the challenges.

Have you experienced any of the following 10 ACEs? (experienced before a person turns 18 years old) • Physical Abuse (Were you often slapped, shoved, grabbed, or ever hit so hard that it left marks or injured you?)

• Emotional abuse (Were you often sworn at, put down, humiliated, or made to feel afraid of being physically hurt?)

• Sexual Abuse (Did an adult or person at least five years older than you ever touch your body in a sexual way?)

• Physical Neglect (Did you often not have enough to eat, have to wear dirty clothes, have no protection, or were you not given medical attention when needed?)

• Psychological neglect (Did you often feel that nobody in your family loved you or thought you were special, or your family members did not feel close or did not support each other?)

• Addiction (Was anyone in your household a problem drinker, an alcoholic, or addicted to street drugs?)

• Mental illness (Did a household member suffer from depression, mental illness, or attempt suicide?)

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Find a trusted church leader, teacher, or school counselor and get help! There are people in your community who care and want to help and support you. I found out home is a very real hope, Jesus Christ. May you find a home in His heart, too!

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Mindful Lettering: Trace the lettering. It does not have to be perfect. You may rewrite the phrase a number of times on the page. Enjoy the process of mindful lettering.

35

DEALING WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

Social media can be fun, taking selfies, making videos, and sharing them with your friends and beyond. The world comes crashing down, though, when embarrassing videos of you are shown without your permission and when other teens trash you online. A roller coaster online, with no privacy and no safety!

You may be at a place where you are dating someone or want to date. This experience can lead to feelings of joy in a happy relationship or feelings of despair when you feel rejected or if your relationship crashes. A roller coaster in loving and feeling loved!

Parents may have set boundaries that are stricter than those of your friends, or your parents may not even show concern or express love to you. Your parents may be abusive to you or each other, making it hard to focus at home or even to feel safe. The struggles with your parents may become so hard that you think about running away from home or actually do it. A roller coaster in your family!

A roller coaster has peaks of thrill and joy, but coming down can be very scary.

It is common at the bottom of the roller coaster of life that many teens think about suicide. The pain feels too great, and they just want to end that pain. Suicide is final; no coming back.

If you are struggling with any of the pains listed in this article, talk to an adult you trust, such as a parent, teacher, school counselor, or youth pastor. There is hope for the future.

You will not always feel the way you do now. The person that you save from suicide could be yourself.

by Dr. George F. Rhoades, Jr., PH.D., Licensed Psychologist

“Should I keep the secret that my friend wants to commit suicide?”

This was a question asked of me by an 8th grader at a middle school. The student felt trapped, as he was made to promise not to tell. I asked him how he would feel if the friend did kill himself and he had kept the secret. He said he would feel terrible! I said yes, asking your friend to go with you to a responsible adult and share his struggles is better. If your friend says no, you should go to the responsible adult yourself to share your concerns. You may lose a friend, but that friend would still be alive!

For many reasons, being a teenager in this current world is a difficult struggle. Your body has dramatically changed from when you were in elementary school, and you may hate yourself because of it. You may be heavier or not as strong as you want to be, not as tall as your friends, or not as coordinated as others in sports. You may have been failing in school and are embarrassed to tell your parents you have not met their expectations. Almost no one feels good enough in their teenage years. A roller coaster of emotions!

Friends are important to you, but you may not feel you fit in. It is so hurtful if your friends don’t want to spend time with you or if they make other friendships and exclude you.

Other people may put you down, bully you, or talk about you behind your back to make themselves feel better. You may be approached to join a gang, but this requires you to do things that don’t match your values, i.e., drug use or stealing. A roller coaster in feeling accepted!

Dr. George Rhoades, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist specializing in sexual trafficking, trauma and dissociative disorders, anger and stress management, and abuse. He is an international author and speaker, and formerly served as Chair of Psychology and Counseling and a full professor of psychology at the International College and Graduate School. He is also the founder and director of the Ola Hou Clinic.

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Don’t Give Up! FIVE SIGNS SOMEONE MAY BE SERIOUS ABOUT SUICIDE After going through something traumatic—like losing an important relationship, being a victim of abuse, or even witnessing something distressing—it’s easy to feel hopeless. That kind of pain can be overwhelming and even make you think about giving up on life completely.

Here are 5 signs that someone might be serious about committing suicide: 1. Talking about wanting to die or end their life.

4. Major mood changes. This could be extreme sadness, This could be direct statements like, “I want to kill myself,” hopelessness, or even a sudden calmness after being or more subtle ones like, “I can’t do this anymore.” upset, which can be a sign they’ve made a decision.

2. Giving away personal items or saying goodbye 5. Risky behavior or self-harm. They might take They may start giving away things they care about or dangerous risks, abuse substances, or engage in selfacting like they’re saying final goodbyes. harm as a cry for help.

3. Withdrawing from friends and activities.

They isolate themselves, stop hanging out, and lose interest in things they used to enjoy.

FIVE TIPS TO HELP A SUICIDAL FRIEND If you notice these signs in a friend, don’t ignore them. Ask them how they’re feeling, show you care, and tell a trusted adult immediately. You could help save a life.

Here are 5 tips for what to say to a friend who’s thinking about suicide: 1. “I’m here for you. You are not alone, and I won’t leave you to handle this by yourself.” Stay committed to supporting them.” Let them know they’re not alone and that you’re ready to listen without judgment.

2. “You are not a burden. Your life matters more than you realize.” Remind them that they are loved and valuable.

3.“Let’s talk to someone who can help us get through this because your life is worth fighting for.” Encourage

them to reach out to a trusted adult, counselor, or pastor.

Offer to go with them if they’re scared.

4. “God sees you, loves you, and hasn’t forgotten you.”

Speak life and remind them of their identity in Christ.

5.“I believe in you and your strength to get through this.”

Build up their confidence when they feel weak.

IF YOU EVER STRUGGLE WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS...

Here are 10 things YOU can do if you are struggling with thoughts of suicide: 1. Talk to someone you trust. Reach out to a parent, teacher, pastor, or counselor. You don’t have to face this alone.

2. Text or call a suicide hotline. You’ll get support from someone who understands and is ready to help.

3. Write down your feelings. Journaling can help you process emotions and make sense of your thoughts.

4. Stay around supportive people. Surround yourself with friends and family who uplift and encourage you.

5. Focus on one day at a time. Don’t get overwhelmed by the future. Just concentrate on getting through today.

6. Create a list of things you’re grateful for. Shifting your focus can help break negative thought patterns.

7. Take care of your body. Sleep, exercise, and eat well; physical health plays a big role in mental health.

8. Limit social media. Too much screen time can make things worse. Take a break and focus on real-life connections.

9. Find a creative outlet. Draw, make music, play sports—doing something you love can help release your emotions in a healthy way.

10. Remember, this is not the end. Your life has purpose, and even though it’s hard right now, brighter days are ahead. Keep fighting.

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline • 24/7 • Your conversations will be confidential

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BE A SAFE PLACE HOW TO SUPPORT A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER WHO HAS GONE THROUGH A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE

by Chris Yanuaria

If you have never experienced trauma yourself, you may not be able to fully understand what someone who has experienced trauma is going through. You may find it difficult to know what to say or how best to offer support. You cannot take away someone’s traumatic experience, but you can play a crucial role in their healing process. If your family or friend shares a traumatic experience with you, here are some tips:

LISTEN It takes a tremendous amount of courage for that person to share their story. It’s important to provide a supportive, nonjudgmental environment where they can be heard. If someone has not shared their story with you yet, let them know you are available whenever they are ready to talk. Don’t pressure the person to tell their story or try to change the subject to something lighter. Just listen. If someone opens up to you, they trust you and need someone to talk to. Try using statements like:

EDUCATE YOURSELF AND OFFER RESOURCES

• “Thank you for sharing your story with me.”

• “It took a lot of courage to tell me about this.”

• “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

Learn more about the issue and the struggles a person is going through. If a loved one is in immediate danger or has a serious physical injury as a result of a traumatic event, call 9-1-1 and seek medical attention. You can make a big difference by being loving, compassionate, and empathetic!

BELIEVE AND REASSURE Sometimes, a person who experienced trauma may fear you will not believe them-- or worse, fear they will be blamed.

Avoid questions that sound like you don’t believe their story.

Oftentimes, survivors of trauma will blame themselves for what happened. Reassure them that they have nothing to be ashamed of.

Chris Yanuaria received his Master’s in social work at the Myron V. Thompson School of Social Work at the University of Hawaii at Manoa. Chris facilitated violence prevention workshops and trainings for students, faculty, and staff at the University of Hawaii at Manoa for many years. He also invested much time in helping to eliminate the issue of human trafficking locally, nationally, and abroad.

The following responses can be helpful and healing to a person sharing their story: • “I believe you.”

• “This is not your fault.”

• “You didn’t do anything to deserve this.”

LET THEM TAKE THE LEAD It’s normal to want to take charge when someone you care about is hurting; however, you might want to think again.

Don’t try to fix the situation or give too much advice.

If the situation is serious enough to report to the police or seek medical attention, you can offer to go with them.

You can share suggestions like speaking with a counselor, but let the person make the final decision. Try saying: • “I care about you. Know that I’m here to support you in any way I can.”

• “You are not alone in this. How can I help?”

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Kintsugi is a Japanese art where broken pottery is repaired with gold, making the cracks part of the design—not something to hide, but something that adds beauty and value. Just like that pottery, you may have been broken by pain, trauma, or mistakes.

As you heal, the parts of you that were once shattered can shine with strength and purpose. Your story isn’t ruined—it’s being remade into something even more beautiful.

“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” – Victor Hugo

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Journal

What are some new insights gained about trauma from this chapter?

Journal about a very difficult or traumatic experience you had. What insights have you gained from your experience?

Creative Expression: Sketch what HOPE looks like to you.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

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mindful doodling

Chapter 2: Overcoming Trauma Activity

Walk it out.

• Understanding Trauma: Navigating The Journey Toward Healing • Adverse Childhood Experiences and the Power of Hope • Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts • Be A Safe Place. How To Support A Friend or Family Member Who Has Gone Through A Traumatic Experience Choose one or more action steps:

1.

2.

If you know of someone who is going through a difficult time overcoming a somewhat traumatic experience, do at least one of the following 10 supportive actions or think of a different act of kindness you can do to encourage them. Check the action item(s) you will do this week: F

Send a thoughtful text or handwritten note.

Let them know that they matter.

F

Invite them to hang out. Play video games or go for a walk—just be present.

F

Surprise them with their favorite snack or treat.

F

Offer to help with something. Homework, chores, or a task they’ve been putting off—it’ll ease their stress.

F

Share a funny video or story. Laughter is powerful and can lift their spirits.

F

Pray for them (and tell them you did). It shows you care on a deeper level.

F

Create a playlist of encouraging songs.

Music can be a great comfort and mood booster.

F

Invite them to do something active. Go shoot hoops, ride bikes, or take a walk outside. Movement can help clear the mind.

F

Remind them of their strengths. Build them up by pointing out what makes them special and capable.

F

Just listen. Sometimes, the best gift is your time and attention without trying to fix everything.

F

Other:

Practice being a safe place for others. Memorize empathetic statements you can say and think of compassionate actions you can do to be a safe place for someone who shares with you about their trauma.

Review the article Be a Safe Place and practice being a safe place for others whenever they share vulnerably about something painful.

3.

Research has shown that physical activity can decrease depression and help in the healing process of overcoming emotional trauma. If you are feeling depressed, commit to a plan of exercise or some kind of physical activity if you don’t already have one beginning this week! If you know of someone who is depressed, reach out to them and invite them to take a walk, hike, or play a physical game with you this week.

4.

If you are in the process of emotional healing, do some research and make a list of Bible verses that encourage hope and strength and express God’s comfort. Memorize them or read them regularly.

Another idea is to read the book of Psalms until you ‘find your voice.’ In other words, read the book of Psalms until you find a passage that verbalizes your feelings of sadness or emotional pain yet encourages your faith and trust in God.

The struggle is real, and so is hope.

Text 494949 to chat now | FREE Mental Health Chat Center | 24/7 for those over 13 years old.

1-888-373-7888 | Toll-Free Hotline | 24/7 | Confidential | Get Help. Report Trafficking.

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“I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.

Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.”

PSALM 34:4-5 NLT

Chapter 03

Pornography Sexual Violence & Trauma Sex Trafficking The Brotherhood Rising Strong

Sexual Violence

Sex abuse, or sexual violence, is often a difficult and uncomfortable topic to talk about, but it’s something every teen needs to understand. In a broken world, painful things happen that God never intended, and sexual violence is one of them. It’s when someone crosses physical or emotional boundaries without consent, leaving deep wounds that can affect your heart, mind, and identity. Often, survivors feel trapped in silence because of feelings of great shame, fear, or confusion, but God’s heart is for healing and freedom—not for people to carry the burden alone.

your fault. Jesus sees you, loves you, and can bring healing to even the hardest situations. Being informed also helps you support friends who may be hurting and lets you be a safe person they can turn to.

In this chapter, we’ll talk about how to recognize abuse and how to take steps toward healing if you or someone you know has experienced it. You will also hear a vulnerable message from someone who has a passion for empowering youth through his painful yet hope-filled story. Remember, no matter what a person has gone through, experiencing God’s healing, transformation, and freedom is possible!

Understanding what sexual violence is can help protect you and others. If you have experienced this trauma, it is never

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STAY SAFE: PROTECT YOURSELF FROM SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND EXPLOITATION

by Phyllis Unebasami

As a mother of grown children, I often wish I had shared this information with them while they were teenagers, so they knew they were worthy of dignity and could confidently advocate for themselves in tough situations. You deserve to be treated with dignity and feel confident in making safe choices, especially during challenging moments.

Sexual violence and exploitation are serious issues, and it’s important for everyone, regardless of gender, to understand how to protect themselves and support others. These topics are crucial for making healthy decisions and staying safe.

In this article, we'll explore information about sexual violence, exploitation, and how you can set healthy boundaries for yourself. We will also provide resources that can offer support if you or a friend ever finds themselves in difficult situations. It's about empowering you to feel confident, respected, and safe. You deserve to feel strong and secure in who you are, and I’m here to help guide you through that.

Sexual violence refers to any sexual activity that happens without consent, meaning it’s forced, coerced, or manipulated. This includes actions like rape, sexual assault, harassment including verbal or physical sexual taunting or comments, and unwanted physical touching.

Verbal and physical sexual taunting make someone feel uncomfortable and disrespected. Verbal taunting includes making inappropriate comments about someone’s body or sexuality, making suggestive jokes, or asking personal questions about their sex life. Physical taunting involves unwanted touches, like pinching, grabbing, or making sexual gestures. These actions are never okay and are considered harassment.

Sexual exploitation is when someone takes advantage of you for their

own sexual or financial gain. This could be online grooming, where someone builds trust with you to manipulate you, or sextortion, which is when someone pressures or blackmails you into sending explicit photos or videos.

WARNING SIGNS Beyond this article’s topic, consent extends universally to all aspects of life, including friendships, work, and personal interactions. It means saying “yes” because you truly want to, not because you feel pressured or obligated. Consent should always be clear, enthusiastic, and ongoing. Just because someone says “yes” once doesn’t mean it’s automatically “yes” again. It’s important to check in and make sure everyone is still comfortable at every step.

Grooming and coercion often go hand-in-hand, and it’s important to understand how they work together.

Grooming is when someone gradually builds trust with you, often by giving you gifts, compliments, or attention to make you feel special or important.

This can happen both online and in person, and might feel flattering at first.

However, as trust is built, they might start pressuring you to keep secrets or share private information, pushing boundaries little by little.

Coercion is when that trust and manipulation turn into pressure to do something you don’t want to do. This can include threats, guilt, or emotional manipulation, like saying, “If you really cared about me, you’d do this,” or “You’ll regret it if you don’t.” The person might make you feel like you have no choice but to agree, but that’s not love or respect. Both grooming and coercion are forms of manipulation, and they’re never okay. Always trust your instincts and speak up if something feels off.

Romantic relationships can sometimes bring about a lot of pressure, whether it’s pressure to go further physically or pressure to do things

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you’re not comfortable with. Peer pressure can come from your friends, a romantic partner, or even social media, and it can feel like there’s no way out of saying yes.

• Romantic Ultimatums are often used to manipulate or control someone in a relationship. For example, your partner might say things like, “If you really loved me, you’d do this” or “If you don’t do this, we’re done.” These statements can put you in a position where you feel like you have no choice but to give in.

This is NOT love, it’s manipulation.

• Power Imbalance: In any relationship, both people should be equals. If one person is making all the decisions or controlling the other person’s behavior, it’s an unhealthy relationship. The power balance should be equal, where both people can express themselves freely without fear of guilt, manipulation, or pressure.

PROTECTIVE FACTORS TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE Your boundaries are like your personal “no-go zones.” They’re the limits you set for yourself in relationships, whether physical, emotional, or digital. Knowing your boundaries means you’ll be more prepared to recognize when something isn’t right.

If someone crosses a boundary, whether it’s touching you without permission or saying something inappropriate, speak up. Don’t be afraid to set limits, and know that it’s always okay to walk away from a situation that feels wrong.

Healthy boundaries are about respect. You have the right to say no at any time, and it’s important that others respect your personal space, both physically and emotionally.

Communication is key: let others know what’s acceptable and what’s not.

ONLINE SAFETY: PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM DIGITAL EXPLOITATION Because many of you are technologically savvy and connected, the internet is a place to communicate, but it can also be a place where predators lurk. Be mindful about what you share online. Personal details, locations, and photos can be misused.

Always adjust your privacy settings and avoid oversharing.

Sextortion is when someone pressures you to send explicit photos or videos, often using threats to manipulate you. Grooming is when someone builds a relationship with you, online or offline, with the intention of exploiting you later. If someone asks you for intimate photos or makes you feel uncomfortable, BLOCK THEM immediately and REPORT THEM to a trusted adult, the platform you’re using, or organizations like CyberTipline (1-800-843-5678) or local authorities.

Remember: sending intimate photos is a big decision that can have lasting consequences. If someone asks you for photos or videos, say no. If they pressure you, block them, report them, and talk to a trusted adult.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU OR A FRIEND IS A VICTIM If you or a friend is experiencing sexual violence or exploitation, seek help.

You can talk to a trusted adult like a parent, teacher, or school counselor. If you're unsure who to turn to, there are confidential helplines available that can offer guidance and support. One such resource is the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network). You can reach them by calling 1-800-656HOPE (4673) or visiting their online chat service at rainn.org. This service is free, confidential, and available 24/7.

If you witness someone being manipulated or harmed, don't ignore it. If it's safe, step in to offer support or reach out to a trusted adult for help. We all have a responsibility to look out for each other. I’m proud of my daughter

for stepping up when she saw a friend in need. While I was concerned for her safety, I also knew that if she were ever victimized, I would want a friend like her by her side in her time of need.

CREATING A CULTURE OF RESPECT Respect in friendships, romantic relationships, and interactions with others is key. It’s about treating each other with dignity, acknowledging boundaries, and supporting each other in healthy ways. Let’s make it nonnegotiable and insist that everyone is treated with kindness and respect.

Knowing your boundaries, recognizing red flags, and understanding consent are all critical to staying safe.

Remember: you have the power to set limits and make decisions that protect your well-being and the well-being of those around you. No one should ever pressure or force you into something that feels wrong. Let people know when something makes you uncomfortable.

It’s your right to say no and to expect that others respect your decisions.

RULES OF THUMB TO STAY SAFE AND BE CAUTIOUS • If you wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing it with your family, it might be a sign to step back. While you might not tell your family everything, think about how they would react to a situation or conversation; it might give you a clue that it’s time to reconsider what’s going on.

• Trust your gut feelings. If something feels off, it probably is.

Never ignore that nagging feeling that tells you something isn’t right.

You don’t have to know all the details to know when to walk away or ask for help.

• If someone is pressuring you, it’s a red flag. Real love or friendship doesn’t involve pressuring you into doing things you’re not ready for or don’t want to do. If they’re giving you ultimatums or trying to manipulate you into something, that’s a huge sign to back off.

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RESOURCES AND SUPPORT If you ever need help, there are many organizations dedicated to helping people who have experienced sexual violence and exploitation, or need information. These organizations provide resources, support, and counseling for you.

National and Global Organizations: • RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): The largest antisexual violence organization in the U.S. provides support and resources for survivors. rainn.org • National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC): Provides information, resources, and training to prevent and respond to sexual violence. nsvrc.org • Childhelp: A national organization focused on preventing and treating child abuse, including sexual exploitation. Childhelp.org Remember, you deserve to be respected, and you have the power to protect yourself and others. Stay informed, set your boundaries, and always speak up when something doesn’t feel right. Stay safe because you matter.

CONSENT: WHAT IT IS, WHY IT MATTERS, AND HOW TO SPEAK UP

Respect must also be given for a change of mind. Consent can be taken back at any time. If someone says “yes” at first but later feels unsure or uncomfortable, they have every right to say “stop.” And that needs to be respected immediately.

• “Thanks for telling me. We can totally stop.”

• “No problem—your comfort matters more than anything.”

• “I’m really glad you said something. I want to respect your boundaries.”

by Michele Okimura

Let’s talk about something that affects everyone—consent.

Maybe you’ve heard the word in health class or online, but what does it actually mean? Why is it such a big deal?

Here’s the short version: Consent means giving permission for something to happen, and meaning it. It has to be freely given, clearly communicated, and respected every single time.

These examples show that consent is ongoing, respectful, and open to change. It’s not just about asking once—it’s about continuing to check in, listen, and care.

No Means No. But sometimes, a person doesn’t—or can’t—say “no” out loud due to fear or anxiety. That might look like freezing up or going silent. It could also look like avoiding eye contact and looking scared or uncomfortable. A person might also try to pull away.

If it’s not a clear “yes,” it’s a no.

Consent doesn’t count and is not real if someone is pressured, manipulated, threatened, drunk or high, asleep, or unconscious. Consent is also not valid if the person being pressured is underage (the legal age of consent varies by state).

It is also inappropriate and out of bounds for a teacher, coach, pastor, boss, or youth leader to have a romantic relationship with a youth in their care.

In the previous article, sexual violence was defined as any kind of unwanted sexual behavior—touching, comments, pictures, or pressure—that someone forces on you or does without your full, willing consent.

In the U.S., the legal age to agree to sexual activity depends on the state. It’s usually between 16 and 18 years old.

These laws are there to protect young people from being taken advantage of and to make sure they’re mature enough to make that kind of decision.

It matters if someone crosses your boundaries in any way that feels wrong, scary, or uncomfortable. And it is not your fault. Ever.

To review, sexual violence can be done by strangers, friends, family members, dating partners, and by people in authority, such as coaches, teachers, or leaders.

No matter who is involved or how long it’s been going on, you are allowed to say something, and you deserve to be protected.

CONSENT IS MORE THAN JUST A “YES.” LET’S BREAK IT DOWN: Consent means someone agrees to something on purpose, with a clear head, no pressure, and total freedom to say “yes” or “no.” Consent is extremely important when it comes to relationships and sex. However, it shows up in lots of everyday ways too. For example, you need to give your consent if someone wants to borrow your hoodie. It is important to ask for consent to post a picture of someone, use someone’s phone, or go through someone’s belongings.

When it comes to sexual or intimate physical contact, consent becomes even more important—and the boundaries are even more serious.

HOW TO SPEAK UP AND GET HELP If someone has touched you in a way that felt wrong, pressured you into anything intimate, or violated your consent in any way, please know you are not alone. There is help. And you are so brave for speaking up!

You can ask for help from a trusted adult, your school counselor, or school nurse by saying something like, “I need to talk about something that happened and I don’t know what to do.”

There are also community resources, such as sexual assault centers or hotlines, which provide free, confidential help 24/7, all the time, anytime. Try searching on the internet for a local “teen crisis center” or “youth advocacy services.”

IN RELATIONSHIPS, CONSENT CAN SOUND LIKE: • “Do you feel comfortable if I hold your hand?”

• “Is this okay with you?” and “Is this still okay with you?”

• “Do you want to keep going or stop?”

• “It’s totally fine to say no.”

• “Let’s wait until we’re both comfortable.”

• “We can take our time—no pressure at all.”

• “If you’re not sure, let’s pause.”

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You are the gatekeeper of your life. Consent is the gate in your fence that helps to guard what is valuable. You decide who’s safe enough to let in. Love doesn't demand access, but instead respects and honors boundaries.

FINAL THOUGHTS

You deserve safety and respect. Whether it’s your body, your space, your stuff, or your feelings, you are allowed to set boundaries. You don’t owe anyone access to your body just because they like you, because they’re older, or because they’re in a position of power.

Consent isn’t just a one-time conversation—it’s a lifelong skill. It’s how we treat people with care, protect ourselves, and build healthy relationships. It’s about knowing your value, using your voice, and looking out for others, too.

Ask questions and speak up. Trust your gut. And remember: You are worth protecting. Your voice matters.

And you’re never alone.

Real respect always honors your “no.”

Real love waits for your “yes.”

Real friends ask, listen, and don’t cross your boundaries.

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WOUNDED BUT NOT SHATTERED

pain and anguish I was suffering from. I turned to alcohol and drugs. By the time I was 15, I was a meth addict. I caused my parents to suffer through so much heartache. They had no idea what was going on with me.

The unbearable pain in my heart soon turned to extreme hatred towards my abusers to the point where I would imagine all sorts of ways I would get my revenge on them. Although, by nature, I was a happy-go-lucky kind of kid, I became a bitter, angry child.

When I was 16, in a moment of frustration with my parents, I finally did it. I blurted out to them that I had been molested.

After this, with my parents’ help, I spent years going in and out of drug rehab programs, yet I always returned to drug use. Through all this mess, I still somehow believed God was real because I had witnessed so many answered prayers and miracles through the years. However, though I still attended church with my family, I had rejected God in my heart.

I was a drug addict, an alcoholic, a smoking addict, a sex addict, and a porn addict by the time I was an older teen.

Because I kept silent about my abuse, I also began questioning whether I was gay. Being abused by two men caused so much confusion within me. I later came to the conclusion I was not gay, but for years, I struggled with that question.

I never graduated high school, and my downward spiral through my twenties took a great toll on my life.

By age 29, I was still trying to fill the hole in my life with drugs, sex, and alcohol. I prayed and told God, “I want to change, but I don’t know how.” One week later, the best thing that could have ever happened to me happened. The Feds busted me for drug dealing.

I remember my first night in the lonely, dark jail cell like it was yesterday. I thought, “How did my life end up here?” I got on my knees, lifted my hands in surrender, and told God, “God, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do. I tried it my way. It doesn’t work.”

PART 1: FINDING JAMI

by James Webb

You have a voice and a story to tell. I have a voice and a story to tell.

I am passionate about reaching out to let you know that you are not alone. Whether you can identify with parts of my story or not, my prayer is that you will be a witness to the miraculous power of God’s love and grace…and be changed.

I was born into a normal home. I had great, loving parents and a sister. My parents were lead pastors of a Christian church. My mom had always worried about the safety of my sister, believing that she would perhaps be more vulnerable to being victimized by sexual violence because she was a girl.

Nobody could have predicted that I, a young boy, would become a victim of sexual violence.

One day, when I was only four years old, I happened to be under the care of an 18-year-old young man, my parent’s friend’s son. We were walking along the beach when we came to a private area where nobody was around. It was then that he brutally sexually abused me. I didn’t know how to handle this trauma, so I kept silent.

About a year later, when I was 5 years old, a male cousin of mine who was 16 years old began to regularly sexually molest me. This went on for three years. This older cousin was someone I looked up to as a cool hero because he had things I loved at the time, such as 4-wheelers, bows and arrows, and guns. However, my hero was also my abuser, which created a very strange dynamic between us. I was so confused. Again, I kept silent. No one knew, not even my parents.

When I was eight years old, this cousin’s parents were going through a divorce, so to help out, my parents had this cousin come live with us. I didn’t know how to handle this new arrangement. It was at this time that I made a decision in my childlike mind that I would not trust my parents because they allowed this cousin to live with us, giving him access to molest me in my own home. I became disillusioned with God and decided that God was not to be trusted either because He allowed this to happen. To top it off, both of my abusers were sons of pastors.

I stuffed down all my feelings regarding my abuse, and I blocked the memories of abuse out of my mind completely in order to cope. Around this time, my grades in school started dropping.

When I was 12 or 13, I started to wake up every night crying, not knowing why I was crying. After a while, the memories of abuse started to flash in my mind, causing intense feelings of hurt, anger, confusion, embarrassment, and deep shame. I never wanted anyone to ever know such things happened to me!

I started acting out and began to steal and run away from home. I sought after anything that could help me numb the

God heard me. And He responded.

I experienced a miracle that night. You see, up to that day, I had been drinking at least a bottle of whiskey a day and had a $200 to $300 per day meth habit. Well, I had NO withdrawal

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symptoms whatsoever! God supernaturally spared me from painful withdrawal symptoms. I had been a meth addict since I was 15 years old, yet I was freed and healed from my meth and alcohol addiction in my cell that night.

At the time of writing this article, I have been 23 years sober and free from my addictions.

From that jail cell moment, my healing began—out of the darkness into the fullness of light and purpose. The second half of my story continues in the following article.

You will see how I began finding my true identity in Christ.

Finding freedom from the bitterness and hatred I harbored against my abusers. Finding my value. Finding my purpose.

Finding the dreams in my heart that mattered to God. Finding Jami.

“You’re not a victim for sharing your story. You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your truth. And you never know who needs your light, your warmth, and raging courage.” – Alex Elle

THE SUN DOES NOT ASK THE SPROUT FOR ITS HISTORY; IT ONLY INVITES IT TO RISE. KEEP STRETCHING.

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WOUNDED BUT NOT SHATTERED

Little did I know that God was about to remind me of my childhood dream.

You see, as an older child, I loved the taste of coffee and dreamed of someday owning my own coffee shop. During this season of valet work, my childhood dream of owning a coffee café came back to mind. I started learning how to roast my own coffee. A passion for roasting coffee and opening my own coffee shop began to grow.

Once my children were old enough to enter preschool, I opened my first coffee shop, Ali’i Coffee, in 2018. At the time of writing this article in 2024, I have opened my fourth coffee shop! God is a good God who heals and restores.

In closing, I would like to share this encouragement. If you are being abused or have been abused, tell a trusted adult who can help you.

Lastly, know that the dreams in your heart matter. In my WILDEST imagination, I could never have thought that I would someday live my dream, which I once thought was long gone.

And…I did find Jami.

I was lost for a long, long time. But in the process of my healing, I found myself. I not only found my faith again, I discovered who I am. I am a person of great value with immense purpose and potential.

PART 2: FINDING JAMI

by James Webb

Forgiveness. As I began my healing journey from sexual violence, I knew I had to begin the long, painful process of forgiving those who hurt and damaged me physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually.

How could I forgive people I hated intensely? But God. My parents bailed me out of jail, giving me eight months of freedom before my official sentencing for my crime of selling drugs. During those eight months, I attended a healing ministry program called Cleansing Stream. People in that ministry showed great care for me.

There were healing moments I experienced in Cleansing Stream when I released the deep pain within me through my tears and loud sobs. Forgiveness was a daily choice I had to make for almost a year, even in the midst of feeling extreme anger and bitterness. It took commitment and perseverance to keep choosing to forgive. Then, surprisingly, one day, I realized that forgiveness had gone from my head to my heart, and I felt absolutely no tormenting anger or hatred towards my abusers any longer! This was a miracle of the heart. I was free from bitterness, and I had great peace.

My sentencing day soon came. I was sentenced to over four years in prison. Interestingly, as I entered prison to serve my term, I had a huge smile on my face and had never felt so free!

God gave me such joy during my days in prison that other inmates had a hard time understanding why I was always happy. God transformed my life and delivered me from all the darkness! While I was in prison, I was freer than I had ever been before—because of Jesus.

After I served my term, which ended up being less than my four-year sentence, I continued to ask the Lord to lead me.

There was one desire that was foremost in my heart. I wanted to share my story of abuse freely without shame because I did not want other guys who had experienced sexual violence to feel alone.

I believe that, had I heard the testimony of a guy who had experienced sexual violence when I was a boy, I would have most likely most likely mustered the courage to seek help, sparing me a decade of destructive living.

Once out of jail, I volunteered at River of Life, a ministry serving the homeless community. I met a volunteer there who eventually became my wife.

I soon realized I had a heart for youth, so I also began serving as a youth leader at my church.

In the coming years, I had children of my own. My wife had a great job, which enabled me to stay home and devote my time and energy to raising my young children while working as a valet at night.

And so are you.

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ACTIVIT Y

Draw a large heart below and fill it with symbols, colors, or words that represent your thoughts and feelings right now after reading Finding Jami. You can use different sections for different thoughts and emotions.

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“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”

Psalm 46:1 NIV

Here are 10 practical things you can do to protect yourself from sexual violence: 1. STAY AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS

6. STAY CONNECTED WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY

• Pay attention to your environment, especially when meeting new people or in unfamiliar places.

Trust your gut—if something feels off, leave or ask for help. Be aware even during sleepovers.

2. SET STRONG PERSONAL BOUNDARIES

• Isolation makes it easier for predators to take advantage. Stay connected with a healthy support system.

7. BE CAUTIOUS ONLINE • Guard your heart and mind online. Avoid sharing personal details or engaging in risky conversations. Remember, not everyone is who they seem (Proverbs 4:23).

• Know your limits and what makes you uncomfortable. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

Be bold and confident in saying “no” to protect your boundaries.

• Be aware of online grooming and never agree to meet someone in person without a trusted adult knowing.

• You are God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10), and no one has the right to treat you with anything less than love and respect.

8. KNOW YOUR RIGHTS • Understand that your body is your own. No one has the right to touch you or make you feel uncomfortable, no matter their age or relationship to you.

3. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS • If something feels wrong or makes you uncomfortable, trust your gut and remove yourself from the situation or tell a trusted adult.

9. HAVE A SAFETY PLAN

4. IDENTIFY SAFE ADULTS

• Think ahead about what you’d do in uncomfortable or dangerous situations.

For example, know how to contact a safe adult or excuse yourself if needed.

• Have a list of trusted people you can go to for help, such as a parent, teacher, counselor, or mentor.

5. LEARN TO RECOGNIZE RED FLAGS

10. LEARN SELF-DEFENSE OR ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS

• Pay attention to warning signs like manipulation, inappropriate comments, or someone trying to isolate you from friends and family. The enemy works through lies and confusion. If anyone pressures you to keep secrets or makes you feel uncomfortable, tell a trusted adult immediately.

(John 8:44).

• Build confidence in how to stand up for yourself verbally and physically if needed.

Knowing how to say “no” assertively can make a difference.

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HEALING HAPPENS IN RELATIONSHIPS It is hard to heal yourself in isolation because healing happens with the support of people in healthy relationships.

Building a support system and being willing to connect with others on a deeper level is crucial. It is not an easy or simple process to find safe people you can trust who exhibit understanding, empathy, and genuine love. Supportive relationships are vital to recovery. Sharing fun activities and connecting with people is a start toward healing.

FINDING SAFETY AND SUPPORT Everyone needs a place of safety. A safe place is where positive words and prayers can be shared. A place free from negativity, judgment, condemnation, and insensitive questions and advice. A safe person is someone trustworthy who can guide you to share openly by listening attentively with encouragement and offering prayers of hope. They support you when you are ready to talk openly and allow you to stop when you’re ready to stop.

STEPPING STONES: THE HEALING PROCESS

THE JOURNEY BEGINS...

1. It starts with connecting with one person who is supportive, empathetic, and calm in listening. A safe person could be an adult family member, close friend, teacher, counselor, community worker, church youth leader, or pastor who is available to spend time with you regularly and can support you through the pain of abuse. Please understand that some adults, depending on their position, may be mandated to report what is happening to keep you safe from further abuse. I went to a Christian Counselor, where I started cautiously speaking for the first time with someone who could help me work through my thoughts and feelings from the past. We met weekly and sometimes twice per week. Once I found my courage and confidence, I started sharing my story with more people.

by Vicky Wong

Here are some helpful steps that open the door to God’s healing. They will encourage you if you have been sexually abused. If you have not been abused, knowing these steps will help you be a source of wisdom and encouragement for someone who has been abused. God can restore and rebuild, and He so passionately desires to do so!

TIME DOESN’T HEAL ALL WOUNDS Recovering from sexual violence is a process that is different for each person. If you have experienced trauma, you need time to process deep wounds, whether you were touched once or touched repeatedly. Memories and emotions can stay frozen in time. They are healed as you become ready to work through them. Those feelings and details can still be as vivid, scary, and disturbing today as they were when the abuse first happened.

There’s no timetable for healing. For some, it may take months or longer to walk through suppressed and distressful memories and come to a place of self-discovery, identity, and truth.

2. Healing Prayer Ministries and Group Support: Some counseling offices, churches, schools, community centers, and hospitals offer reputable inner healing ministries or prayer and support groups established especially for abuse and trauma recovery. You may find people in those places willing to walk alongside your journey of healing and self-disclosure. Hearing stories from other people who have similar experiences will help you feel connected and loved by people who understand.

Vicky Wong is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Mental Health Counselor.

START THE PROCESS WITH GOD The one person who understands you compassionately and without condemnation, criticism, or negativity is your Heavenly Father, who loves you. As you pray, start talking to God about what happened, and tell Him about the hurts that may have held you bound and torn. Ask God for courage and strength to walk through this process. Ask Him to bring safe people to orchestrate your steps of healing.

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Change image to match photo used in classic version? And change verbiage to: HEALING ISN’T A LEAP— it’s a steady walk across stepping stones, one brave step at a time.

HEALING ISN’T A LEAP—IT’S A STEADY WALK ACROSS STEPPING STONES, ONE BRAVE STEP AT A TIME.

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Journal

Journal any reflections from this chapter on sexual violence.

Mindful Lettering: Trace the lettering. It does not have to be perfect. You may rewrite the phrase a number of times on the page. Enjoy the process of mindful lettering.

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Chapter 3: Sexual Violence Activity

Walk it out.

• Stay Safe: Protect Yourself from Sexual Violence and Exploitation • Consent: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How To Speak Up • Wounded But Not Shattered - Part 1: Finding Jami • Wounded But Not Shattered - Part 2: Finding Jami Stepping Stones: The Healing Process Choose one or more action steps:

1.

4.

Make a list of personal boundaries to protect yourself emotionally and physically. Think about what’s okay and what’s not okay for you.

If you or a friend are healing from this trauma, create a song playlist. Make a playlist of songs that help you or your friend process emotions—whether they bring peace, strength, or hope. This can be your personal “healing soundtrack.”

2.

Bible Study or Prayer Reflection: Reflect on verses about healing, strength, or God’s protection.

Examples: Psalm 34:18 or Isaiah 41:10. Journal what those verses mean to you.

3.

If you have ever been sexually abused, reach out to a trusted adult family member, relative, pastor, or mentor. Review the steps to healing in the article Stepping Stones: The Healing Process and consider walking them through.

• • •

Start the process with God. Next, continue by sharing with one trustworthy person.

Seek help from a trusted adult family member, a mentor, or a credible prayer ministry. Seriously consider seeking support from a professional Christian counselor.

The struggle is real, and so is hope.

Text 494949 to chat now | FREE Mental Health Chat Center | 24/7 for those over 13 years old.

1-888-373-7888 | Toll-Free Hotline | 24/7 | Confidential | Get Help. Report Trafficking.

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“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed.

Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.”

Proverbs 31:8-9 NLT

Chapter 04

Pornography Sexual Violence & Trauma Sex Trafficking The Brotherhood Rising Strong

Sex Trafficking

Wisdom speaks. It is so important to stay sharp and aware of ways teens can be exploited in this present world. In this chapter, you will be given practical ways to avoid dangerous situations. We will also give you tools to protect yourself and others from being tricked, pressured, or lured into sex trafficking—whether it’s by friends, classmates, online predators, or strangers, both in person and online.

Our heart is for you not to walk in fear but in wisdom and confidence! Trust God and rely on His leading. Be empowered to protect yourself and others you care about.

women are missing each year due to being bought and sold for sexual exploitation.

There are front-line experts who believe close to half of all trafficked victims globally are boys or men.

“Every two minutes, a child is trafficked for the purpose of sexual exploitation in the United States.”

– U.S. Dept. of Justice Take a moment to ponder these facts.

Allow God’s heartbreak over this crisis to touch you.

TWO MILLION WOMEN MISSING EACH YEAR: Susan Tiefenbrun, a professor at the Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego, California, discovered after extensive human trafficking research that more than two million

Sex trafficking is a justice issue and a cause we invite you to join. Have the courage to LISTEN and be moved in your heart.

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WHAT IS SEX TRAFFICKING?

Boys are also recruited into sex trafficking through gangs.

Gangs target boys looking to belong or in need of protection.

Older gang members will recruit you to join the gang, but instead of mobbing or jumping you into the gang, you will be forced to have sex with some or all of the members, or they will force you to rape someone else. Once in the gang, you will be forced to go on “dates” with older women or men who will pay money or give something of value to the gang in exchange for sexual acts, regardless of your sexual orientation.

With the internet, most targeting occurs over social media, where the person may offer to pay you money in exchange for inappropriate pictures. This exchange quickly leads from pictures to videos to meetings to eventually engaging in sexual acts. Before you know it, you’re in an intense relationship you either feel you cannot live without or are fearful of leaving due to physical abuse or blackmail. Through social media, it is easy for a person to learn who you are: your likes and dislikes, where you live, where you hang out, who you hang out with, and anything they need to know to gain your trust. They then find a way to connect with you.

Many victims feel stuck in sex trafficking because they fear being rejected or judged. In most cases, this will not occur.

The best way to avoid or get out of being trafficked is to tell your parents, a trusted adult, or a friend you know can help.

There is also outside support and resources available if you don’t have anyone in your life you can trust.

The best defense to avoid being trafficked is to make sure you’re not being lured or tricked. Remember, if it feels too good to be true, it usually is! Your body has a way of telling you when something is wrong; it’s called our gut instinct.

When your gut tells you something is wrong, listen to your body; it can save your life. Avoiding getting involved in sex trafficking will save you a lifetime of severe mental health issues. Find resources to help you with any risk factors you struggle with to ensure you’re not vulnerable to exploitation.

by Shantae Williams, Psy.D.

Sex trafficking, often referred to as modern-day slavery or prostitution, is when a person uses force (beating, kidnapping, etc.), fraud (posing as a photographer for a modeling agency, etc.), or coercion (becoming someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend in order to take advantage of them, etc.) to trick someone into engaging in a sexual act in exchange for something of value to that person.

For minors (people under the age of 18), sex trafficking is when a sexual act (sex, stripping, pornography, etc.) is exchanged for something of value (money, drugs, protection, etc.) to that person or a third party; force, fraud, or coercion do not need to be present for minors to be considered victims of sex trafficking.

Most people think sex trafficking is what we see in the movies: a person is kidnapped and taken to another country where they are drugged, raped and repeatedly sold for sex.

Although this does happen, it is very rare. More often, a person is recruited or tricked into sex trafficking by someone they trust. The majority of the sex trafficked children in the United States are lured into trafficking by a friend who is also being trafficked, their parents (this is called familial trafficking) or a trafficker (pimp).

Many think sex trafficking only happens to girls or women, but they are mistaken. Anyone can be a victim of sex trafficking, including boys and men. Males are often overlooked or fail to report sex trafficking for many reasons.

Common causes include fear of not being believed, worry they will be seen as weak, worry they will be thought of as gay, or not realizing they are victims.

The most common form of sex trafficking that boys experience is directly between the boy and the buyer. The buyer identifies a vulnerability, such as a history of child abuse, identifying as LGBTQ+, or homelessness, and offers a “quick way out” with a place to live, love, a home, or money.

The buyer’s main goal is to be seen as a trusted person.

They can then manipulate you into doing things you would not normally do. Buyers can be anyone, but they are often someone you have a pre-existing relationship with, such as a coach, religious leader, or family member.

If you or someone you know is or was involved in sex trafficking, and need help, call the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1 (888) 373-7888 or text “HELP” or “INFO” to BEFREE (233733).

You can remain anonymous and get the help you need.

REMEMBER, HELP IS A PHONE CALL AWAY!

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Knowledge is powerful if it changes your life for the better.

PROTECT YOURSELF! GUYS CAN BE VICTIMS TOO. Ways Recruiters Groom Teenagers WHO COULD BE A RECRUITER? • • • •

Recruiters could be strangers or friends you meet at school, after-school programs, and other public places.

A recruiter could be a male or female trying to gain your trust, including mother or father figures.

Be especially cautious of older teens or adults trying to get you to go with them somewhere.

Know that a recruiter can ‘groom’ a victim over varied times. Some victims are lured within hours or days, while others are lured over many months by a good friend.

STRANGERS: Recruiters can be strangers who are good-looking, charming, friendly, seemingly sincere, and smooth-talking people who know how to connect heart-to-heart with you. These recruiters can approach you at malls, beaches, restaurants—anywhere.

CLASSMATES: A recruiter could also be a classmate or an upper or lowerclassman at your school. They gain your trust as a friend, so you would never think they had a plan to coerce you.

A FATHER FIGURE OR MOTHER FIGURE: Unfortunately, a father or mother figure could be playing this role in your life to eventually gain your trust so he/she can later recruit/trap you into sex trafficking.

NEW FRIENDS: Sometimes, a recruiter might be someone you think of as a friend—maybe a new person your classmate introduced you to. You’ve hung out together and enjoyed their company, so you assume you can trust them.

GANG MEMBERS: It has happened where gang members have sexually assaulted new gang members and ended up trafficking them.

FAMILY MEMBERS: In some cases, sadly, recruiters can be family members or relatives.

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WHAT KINDS OF TACTICS DO RECRUITERS USE TO GROOM VICTIMS? •

Recruiters exhibit charming behavior. They say words and act in ways that can seem too good to be true.

•

Recruiters’ words initially make you feel very special and cause you to believe they are there to support you.

RECRUITERS MAY SAY SOMETHING SIMILAR TO THE FOLLOWING LINES TO BUILD TRUST AND FRIENDSHIP TO MANIPULATE YOU:

“Tell me everything about you. I want to know everything!”

capture a victim’s attention with flattery but also embarrass them by pointing out their low-quality clothes or accessories.

These types of statements try to get you to share deep, dark secrets with them so they can use this information to manipulate and blackmail you in the future. Refrain from disclosing details about yourself and your past with someone you do not know well. Be careful not to reveal too much about yourself too quickly.

The recruiter gives the victim an opportunity to elevate their status through promises of ‘upgrading,’ buying them new shoes, clothes, devices, or other items they want or need. This also increases the victim’s sense of obligation to the recruiter. The person may attempt to establish a sexual relationship with you in return for the gifts and to further bond you to him/her. Avoid a person who desires to ‘upgrade you.’ You are already valuable in Christ! Many of us like nice material things, but this is often a tactic to trap, deceive, and trick you into being trafficked. Be brave. Decline the offer and walk away from the situation.

“Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.”

Proverbs 13:3 NLT

“I have never met anyone like you. I feel I can trust you with anything. I have told you things I have never told anyone else.”

“You want to make some money? I can show you how you can make a lot of money!”

This is a tactic to try to make the victim feel responsible for the mental health and well-being of the trafficker. When the victim tries to leave, the guilt of leaving someone who trusted them with everything prevents them from leaving. Beware when someone starts to use guilt to manipulate you.

This lures victims who come from impoverished backgrounds.

Victims never make money; they may be given small amounts of money in the beginning to gain trust or earn some wages by being ‘bottoms’ or ‘recruiters,’ but they get nowhere near what their trafficker makes. Money given to victims is often taken back at a later time. Do not go for such fast money opportunities!

Seek wisdom from wise, trusted mentors in your life.

“You are so good-looking!”

“Wealth from get-rich-quick schemes quickly disappears;

Traffickers often target a person who is overlooked, especially someone wanting love, attention, and affirmation as a result of their family and peer experiences.

We all desire affirmation, attention, love, and encouragement.

However, though you may appreciate positive words, be cautious around a person who showers you with compliments—you do not know if their motives are for good or to control you.

“You are too good to be wearing those clothes! You need to get with me so I can upgrade you!”

A comment like this makes victims feel good, and then immediately, the trafficker belittles them, making them feel vulnerable. Traffickers and recruiters utilize this tactic to

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wealth from hard work grows over time.” – Proverbs 13:11 NLT

“You may as well make money for what someone is taking from you anyway.”

Because traffickers often target youth with a history of molestation and sexual violence, they often use this line, which seems to make sense to someone who is actively being victimized at home. You are deserving of respect and honor. Though this line may seem to make sense to you if you have already been sexually active or abused, seek help from trusted mentors.

Beware of falling into this trap, and do not sell yourself short!

WHAT OTHER SIGNS SHOULD I LOOK FOR TO KNOW IF I AM BEING GROOMED—EVEN AS A GUY? TRAFFICKERS TRY TO ISOLATE YOU FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY: A person who often uses shame and control to keep you away from friends and family is a red flag!

TRAFFICKERS TRY TO KEEP YOU DEPENDENT ON HIM/HER: A recruiter tries to get you to think he/she is the only one who will care for you and get you to depend on them. This person may attempt to learn your biggest wants and needs so they can manipulate you slowly into becoming dependent on them as a close friend. They may promise you that they will fulfill your dreams.

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I SENSE SOMETHING DOESN’T SEEM ‘RIGHT’ OR SAFE?

TRAFFICKERS CAN BE AGGRESSIVE TOWARD POTENTIAL VICTIMS

• Pay attention to what you are sensing or feeling—if you feel something’s not quite right or is making you feel uncomfortable, fearful, or strange, pay attention to those red flags. If you get caught in a suspicious conversation with someone, be strong and assertive by excusing yourself and leaving as soon as possible! Contact a trusted friend or relative who can help you or come pick you up.

• Be vigilant and aware of your surroundings, especially when walking alone in an area with few people or no one around. Take notice if a pedestrian, car, or van is following you.

• Kidnapping: Be aware of your surroundings when walking alone on sidewalks and in parking lots. Although rare, there have been cases where traffickers have tried to force someone into their vehicle.

• If you are out in public and someone is bothering, following you, and/or constantly trying to talk with you, get another adult involved. For example, if you are at a mall, go to a store employee or store manager and say something like, “This person keeps following me. Please help me.”

• Drugging your drink: Be aware of your drink when out with friends. There have been situations where a trafficker has put drugs in the drinks of victims so they can be taken. Do not accept a drink from someone else, and keep an eye on your drink when you are in a group you don’t know well. Be wise and be aware.

• Be aware of abusive or possessive behaviors in people and notice their reaction when you say no to something they want you to do. If they don’t respect your decision, if their response is controlling, rageful, intimidating, manipulative, or just too charming, seek help and safety.

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10 TIPS! 1. Tell a family member where you will be going and when you will return and keep in contact with them when you are out and about with someone you do not know well.

6. Never get into a car with a stranger and avoid being alone in an isolated place with strangers.

7. Don’t hesitate to call 911 when you feel you are in danger.

2. Set up a safety word with your family, so if you say that word, your family member knows you feel you are in danger.

8. When meeting up with someone you don’t know well, plan to meet in a public place or in a group setting until you feel comfortable and feel you know them well.

3. Memorize at least one trusted friend’s family member’s phone number.

9. If a new friend or stranger offers to buy you expensive gifts, refrain from receiving such gifts, as this could be a tactic to control you later.

4. BEFORE making any decisions, check with a trusted family member or a wise mentor when offers almost seem too good to be true.

10. Traffickers prey on youth who run away from home.

If you are having trouble at home and are tempted to run away—there are other options. Running away will put you at risk of being lured into dangerous situations. Seek help from your pastor, school counselor, a trusted mentor or relative.

5. Consider allowing 2-3 people to track your phone via GPS so they know your whereabouts at all times.

Some phones allow this. You could allow them to track you varying amounts of times, such as just for an hour, a day or all the time. This type of tracking can be completely under your control.

SEXTORTION CLICK WITH CAUTION

by Dean Kaneshiro

Sex trafficking is when someone pressures or forces you to do sexual things so they can make money. It’s dangerous and illegal.

Did you know you’re just a click or two away from being a victim of sextortion?

And it starts with what’s right in your hands… your phone.

Wait…WHAAAAAT?!

BECOMING A VICTIM CAN HAPPEN FAST... JUST ASK SERENA

Yeah. And the trap gets set the moment you believe the lie: That’ll never happen to me.

Here’s the hard truth: it is happening— to students just like you, every day.

But here’s the good news: When you understand how sextortion works, you can make wise choices, stay safe online, and protect your future.

SO WHAT EVEN IS SEXTORTION?

Sextortion is when someone uses lies, pressure, or threats to get you to send nude photos or videos of yourself.

Sometimes, it leads to something even more serious—sex trafficking.

Serena* was in 8th grade. She had a crush on a guy who asked her for a nude video. She sent one.

That decision changed everything.

He asked for more. Flattered by his attention, she sent more. She felt special… until things fell apart.

Kids at school started acting weird.

Then someone told her the videos were being shared. Someone even posted some on a porn site!

Then, students started texting her.

They threatened to show the videos to her mom unless she sent more.

Serena spiraled. She skipped school. She began cutting herself and

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eventually overdosed, which almost ended her life! She left home at 16, became homeless, got hooked on drugs, and began selling nude photos and videos of herself.

“I’m not worth anything anymore because everybody has already seen my body,” she said.

Thankfully, at 19, she got off drugs—but she was still living in her car, still dealing with the trauma.

“It was one small thing that a teenager does,” she said, “and it’s crazy how it turns into something so much bigger. A whole life can be changed because of one little mistake.”

HOW THE TRAP WORKS (FOR BOTH GUYS AND GIRLS!)

Check it out: Step 1: A creepy old guy creates a fake profile pretending to be an attractive teen.

Step 2: They study your social media posts, tracking your moods.

Then—at the perfect moment—

they slide into your DMs with compliments and words that build an emotional connection.

Step 3: They send (or offer to send) a naked photo of themselves and ask you for one back. That’s called sexting.

Now, READ THIS PART SLOWLY: That naked or semi-nude photo or video of you is key because, from that moment on, that is how they control you!

Step 4: Then come the threats: “Send more, or I’ll post this.” “Pay me, or I’ll tell your parents.” They keep pushing, demanding more.

You see it?

Thankfully, some teens wake up and tell their parents or call the cops, which is the right move.

Others don’t—and things get worse.

NEVER TAKE OR SEND NUDE PHOTOS OR VIDEOS OF YOURSELF. NOT EVEN ONCE.

MORE SMART MOVES TO STAY SAFE Here are five tips from online safety expert Sarah Seigand of Parents Who Fight: 1. NEVER Meet Up With People You Only Know Online They might seem cool, but they could be catfishing you. Sex traffickers use fake profiles to earn your trust. Meeting up with someone you don’t know is dangerous… seriously.

2. Keep Personal Info Private Never share your number, address, school, or neighborhood you live in— even small clues. Traffickers can use that info to find and pressure you.

3. Avoid Dating Apps and Random DMs Traffickers and predators start off by acting like an amazing boyfriend or girlfriend… buying you gifts and paying for stuff for you. But once they’ve gained your trust, they use that emotional

The Simplest Solution… EVER Now burn these points in your brain as they are the biggest keys to staying free from this horrible trap… YOU READY?

NEVER TRUST ANYONE—EVEN A FRIEND OR YOUR GIRLFRIEND— WITH NUDE PICS OR VIDEOS OF YOURSELF... EVER. AND IF YOU’VE ALREADY DONE THIS (OR IF YOU EVER DO), TELL YOUR PARENTS OR A TRUSTED ADULT. RIGHT AWAY. Yes, it’s scary. But it’s brave to ask for help today instead of letting a predator ruin your life tomorrow. So don’t play their game.

connection to control you—even make you do sexual things to “pay them back.”

Don’t fall for these traps!

And if this has already happened to you?

You’re not alone. Get help. Speak up.

Healing is possible.

4. Use Privacy Settings and Turn Off Location Sharing

The internet, social media, and your phone aren’t bad in and of themselves.

But they can be dangerous.

Don’t respond to message requests from strangers. And if a teacher, coach, or adult DMs you—that’s not okay. Healthy adults stick to safe, accountable ways to communicate, like email or group chats.

5. Know How to Block and Report Learn how to block and report users on every app. If someone crosses a line, report it fast. You can also go to CyberTipLine, which works with law enforcement to stop predators.

YOU’VE GOT THIS Remember: sex traffickers do use platforms like YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Discord… even gaming platforms to find and groom victims.

So stay alert. If something feels off—it probably is.

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The key is knowledge. Boundaries.

Courage. And support.

So talk about this stuff with your friends! And watch out for each other (because that’s what true friends do).

That’s what it means to be truly brave and bold.

Dean Kaneshiro is a certified Building Family Connections instructor through the Medical Institute for Sexual Health, a father of seven kids, and has been equipping parents and youth with practical tools for healthy living in marriage, parenting, dating, technology, and sexuality since 2005. *Read Serena’s full story in the New York Times article, “The Children of Pornhub”

by Nicolas Kristof.

IT HAPPENED TO ME! A GUY!

by James Webb

You might not think that sex trafficking groomers would target guys, but beware. It happens to guys more than you realize, and it happened to me.

When I was around 12 years old, a Catholic priest started to groom me by befriending me at Ala Moana Shopping Center in Honolulu, Hawaii. I recall he was a super nice guy, and over time, he built a friendship with me. After a while, he finally tried to entice me to go with him to Europe!

He even contacted my parents, trying to get them to allow me to go with him. I could have been abducted, but thankfully, he never did kidnap me. Eventually, the relationship ended.

Another time, when I was still around 12 years old, I was hanging out with a buddy at that same shopping center. A guy approached us and invited us to come near his van. He opened up the back of his van, showing us piles of pornography magazines. He told us to go inside the van to look at them. I was about to go inside when my friend grabbed me and yelled, “Get out of here!” We ran away. I can only imagine what would have happened if we had gone inside the van. That man could have easily locked us in the van and kidnapped us.

Research has shown that the vast majority of victims of sex trafficking have experienced sexual violence in the past. Interestingly, I had been molested as a young child, and I was approached twice by two different men, who I firmly believe were trying to traffick me. Be aware that those of us who have been sexually abused may be that much more vulnerable to being coerced and manipulated by a trafficker.

However, even if you have not been sexually abused in your past, you still need to be aware of groomers and their tactics because they prey on naïve and trusting girls and guys!

Grooming can take place online and in person.

Get equipped to protect yourself and others. Stay safe!

Mindful Lettering: Trace the lettering. It does not have to be perfect. You may rewrite the phrase a number of times on the page. Enjoy the process of mindful lettering.

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WHAT KEEPS A VICTIM TRAPPED? Why don’t victims of sex trafficking just run away?

This may seem like the logical thing to do, but it is not easy and is probably an extremely dangerous choice. Victims experience emotional, physical, and psychological abuse, so running away is not as simple a solution as it seems.

ONCE TRAFFICKED, WHAT ARE COMMON THREATS MADE TO KEEP THE VICTIM TRAPPED? Traffickers use fear and control tactics to keep victims trapped and afraid to get help.

“If you tell anyone, I will kill (or harm) your parents (or brothers/sisters/your family)!”

“I video-taped you having sex. If you tell anyone, I will show this video to your parents and all your friends and family. I will make it go viral in your school.

Such threats cause much fear due to the overwhelming shame the victim feels. This causes great fear because the victim wants to protect their family’s lives. Traffickers may even show the victim a gun or weapon to intimidate them further. Traffickers may threaten to kill the victim as well.

WHAT ARE OTHER TACTICS THAT TRAFFICKERS USE TO KEEP VICTIMS TRAPPED? DRUGS & ALCOHOL: Traffickers will often drug victims. Traffickers can make victims addicted to drugs and/ or alcohol and therefore, more easily control them.

VIOLENCE AND VERBAL ABUSE: Traffickers can use physical and verbal abuse, violence, and even torture, to keep victims controlled.

PORNOGRAPHY: Traffickers often make victims watch hard core porn (which often includes violence towards women) to get them de-sensitized to all kinds of sexual acts and acts that can even cause physical pain.

Watching porn helps to normalize what they see and experience.

EMOTIONAL BOND: Oftentimes, an emotional bond forms between the victim and abuser where the victim wants to stay in the relationship.

Victims may believe their trafficker is the only person who loves them.

LEAD VICTIMS TO BELIEVE TRAFFICKING IS THIER ONLY OPTION: NOTE: In some situations, such as poverty, some girls willingly go into sex trafficking as a way of making a living and because they see no other options or job opportunities for themselves.

REQUIREMENT TO REPAY THEIR DEBT: Traffickers can intimidate their victims and require them to repay them

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financially for giving them housing and food and other material things they purchased for the victim.

ISOLATION: Especially if the victim is taken to a foreign country where they do not speak the language, the victim can feel helpless and even more dependent on their trafficker.

Most victims want to leave the sex trafficking lifestyle but feel trapped and helpless. This is where community members like yourself can make a difference by reporting suspicious activity to your local police or the National Human Trafficking Hotline.

IS MY FRIEND BEING TRAFFICKED? SOME POSSIBLE SIGNS

Listen. The silent cry. Do you hear it?

Because sex trafficking has become more and more common on school campuses and in public places, you may have a friend or classmate you suspect may be trapped in trafficking.

You are not sure, but maybe you think you might be hearing their silent cries.

BUT WHAT ARE SOME POSSIBLE SIGNS? Here are some possible indicators that may suggest that someone is a victim:

•

Shows an inability to attend school regularly or has many unexplained absences.

•

Runs away from home regularly.

•

Makes references to travel to other cities frequently.

•

Visible bruises from physical trauma

•

Is depressed, withdrawn, fearful and/or very anxious.

•

Is often hungry or malnourished or lacking needed medical care.

•

Dresses inappropriately.

•

Displays a sudden change in how they dress, their behavior, their relationships, or material possessions. Oftentimes, victims are coerced by expensive gifts.

•

Has a “boyfriend”or “girlfriend”who is much older.

•

Engages in promiscuous behavior that seems unusual or uncharacteristic from their typical behavior.

•

Makes references to sexual situations or uses sexual vocabulary that previously was not typical in his language or is not typically used by peers your age.

NEXT STEPS: Don’t be a bystander—you can help. Make notes of your concerning observations and report your suspicions to your school counselor. Instead of approaching the person you suspect might be a victim, seek guidance from your school counselor for any further next steps.

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Voices of Freedom –

THREE STORIES OF VICTORS

A LETTER TO YOU FROM THE HEART

After I moved schools, an extremely popular, older boy soon became interested in me. So many girls wanted him. So, of course, I felt on top of the world knowing that I had THAT boy! He was your typical bad boy with tattoos, gold chains, nice clothes, money, always invited to parties, and always had drugs on him.

In the beginning of our relationship, it was as if he could never do anything to hurt me. Yes, we had a cupcake stage. I gave him my heart. He knew nearly everything about me. He knew I didn’t have a great relationship with my family.

He knew I craved attention and affection, which is exactly what I got from him, with a little twist no one saw coming.

Anything he wanted me to do, I did. Why do you ask? Because of the simple line he often told me, “If you really love me, you would do it.” That simple line became a tool to abuse, manipulate, and control me.

After four months in the relationship, he started to show his true colors. He knew I did not have a support system. I believed there was nobody else in my life who would listen to me or understand me. He abused me sexually, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

DEAR BROTHERS, I am Kawai. I am a survivor. I would prefer to be called a ‘survivor’ rather than a ‘victim’.

I was born and raised in Hawaii. Not long ago, I was your typical 15-year-old teen who cared about her looks, popularity, parties, and of course…boys! I was a very insecure teen, worried about my body image and beauty standards. I didn’t have much planned for my future. All I wanted to do was party with my friends and live a reckless life. I had always told myself, “You only live once. Make the most of it!”

Due to my behavior and the bad influences that were affecting me at the time, I transferred from a public school to a small private school that I didn’t even know existed. This is when my behavior and thought process started to get out of control!

I never believed sex trafficking was real in Hawaii, a place often called ‘paradise.’ I had no clue that I was about to be groomed and sex-trafficked into a dark world.

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I ended up running away from home on May 26, 2015.

While living away from home, I attended a party that was held in Waikiki, a famous tourist area in Hawaii. The party was nothing I was used to. I was surrounded by older men and women who were drugged up, and I was vulnerable to being taken advantage of. I stayed for the heck of it and ended up becoming drugged myself!

I woke up in a dark room. No clothes. No phone. Just a thin blanket that did not cover my whole body. My body was aching and bruised up, and I had a terrible hangover. I had become an object that was worth money. After this incident, I was sold around to multiple men, raped, beaten, and starved. I felt so alone, helpless, worthless, and unloved.

Months later, I was miraculously found, rescued, and brought home to my family. However, I was not the same person, I was barely Identifiable—new hair, 50 pounds lighter, swollen face, and much more.

The hardest part about this experience was my healing process. I did not know where to begin. I spent many painful nights crying and asking, “Why me?” My healing process took many tears, trials, tribulations, therapy sessions, and, most of all, learning to love myself and know my worth.

Learning to love myself was the hardest part. How could I love myself when all I identified myself with were the mentally abusive names I was repeatedly called for the past 6 months?

I prayed to forgive myself, forgive my traffickers, and I prayed to move on. I wrote every day in a journal about how I was feeling.

I now look back in that journal and smile. Yes, smile. I smile because the teenage girl I was when I wrote in my journal is now someone who is able to walk in public by herself without having a panic attack. I am a young woman now—a woman who went through trauma, survived, and recovered. I know I am not an object for a man to buy for $500. I know I should not let myself be vulnerable to men just because I’ll get ‘attention’ out of it. I now know I am a woman of immense value.

I speak to you from my heart. I pray my story will give you wisdom and inner strength to protect yourself from danger and give you the encouragement and inspiration to know that you have incredible value and purpose!

I learned that when you fall, you get up. You try again. You forgive. You discover the beauty you have to give to this world and give it!

FINALLY FREE.

left, we girls would collapse exhausted and sleep upstairs above the club until it would all start again the next night. The owner forced us to work every day.

One night, the owner was very nervous and told us to stay out of sight. We did not know why, but we heard shouting and the sound of police sirens. We were crouching down in a laneway just outside the back of the club when some of the other girls took a risk and ran away down the street into the night. I was too scared to run and remained hidden, my heart pounding.

All I remember next was that a bright light was shining on me, and suddenly I was pulled up out of my hiding place. I felt confused at first, but the reassuring voices of the rescue team were telling me that I was safe.

A STORY FROM A SURVIVOR SUBMITTED

by Zoe International Based in Thailand

One New Year’s holiday, I went to stay at my aunt’s house.

While I was there, my aunt asked me if I wanted a job working at a restaurant in the big city. I thought it sounded like a good idea and would be a way to earn money and help my grandmother, who I lived with.

I took the bus as my aunt had directed, and, after many hours of traveling, I arrived at the restaurant. The city was very busy and different from what I was used to.

When I got inside the restaurant, a few other girls were also waiting to hear about the job. That night a man met us at the restaurant to explain. He told us that our job was not serving food—but that we would be giving sexual services to men.

I didn’t know what to do. I had no idea how this promise of a “good” job had turned out like this. I didn’t even know where I was, or how I could escape to find my way back to my grandma’s house. Had my aunt known about this all along? I felt confused, alone, and uncertain about what to do next.

The ZOE Child Rescue team, alongside local police, successfully rescued Mina and some of the other girls that night and brought them to a safe house. The owner of the bar was successfully prosecuted. ZOE was able to reunite Mina with her grandmother.

Mina is now safe and working a job that she loves. Mina thanks ZOE, for giving her “new life…life to the fullest,” which is what ZOE means in Greek.

I felt scared. I was trapped.

*Based on real-life events. In an effort to protect her identity, her name and the details of this case may have been slightly changed.

Unable to escape, I was taken to another location where we started “work” the next night around 9 pm and didn’t finish until 5 am. Night after night, once the clients had all

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Today, I share my story to raise awareness and help prevent others from falling into the same trap. I advocate for boys and young men as well because they are often overlooked, afraid to share their trauma, and taught by society to “be tough” or “man up.” Boys are being targeted, too.

Empowering young men to stand against exploitation not only helps them to heal but also helps them to develop into leaders in the fight against modern-day slavery.

Trafficking: Hidden in Plain Sight Human trafficking isn’t something that happens far away; it’s hidden in plain sight, thriving in our communities and online spaces. Traffickers now have direct access to children through apps, social media, gaming platforms, and other online spaces.

Often, traffickers disguise themselves as peers, mentors, or even romantic partners. Boys are often recruited and manipulated through friendships, mentorships, or promises of belonging. Shockingly, students themselves are sometimes pressured or manipulated into recruiting their classmates.

Drugs often get used as a weapon to trap and control victims, keeping them hooked and obedient while stripping away their sense of control and independence. Parents and guardians may remain unaware, believing their children are safe within the walls of their homes.

FROM EXPLOITED TO EMPOWERED A SURVIVOR’S JOURNEY TO PROTECT YOUTH FROM TRAFFICKING

by Rachel Fischer

I was a child when the world felt like it had already turned its back on me. After entering the foster care system and facing homelessness, life became a series of hardships that left me vulnerable and searching for stability and acceptance. That vulnerability became the gateway for a trafficker posing online as a helpful mentor to groom me. They promised to help me become a model, earn money, and build a successful life. I was too young to understand that these promises were lies.

Instead of a pathway to success, as a high schooler, I was forced into commercial sexual exploitation, trapped in a world I couldn’t escape. I was even coerced into recruiting other teenagers, male and female alike, into this glamorized but brutal life. The trafficker used blackmail to keep me silent, threatening to expose me to my teachers, my church, and anyone who would listen, making it seem as though my suffering was my fault.

At school, I hid behind a mask, pretending everything was fine and attending classes. By night, I was living a nightmare, a secret life forced upon me by someone who took advantage of my youth, trust, and desperation. They used me to make money, posting photos of me online, images I never consented to and that I didn’t understand were being sold as pornography to strangers who didn’t care that I was just a child.

But despite the darkness, I survived. I escaped that life, though it wasn’t easy, and I channeled my pain into purpose.

I went to nursing school and became a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE), caring for victims of violence and advocating for them in court. I also became a licensed commissioned officer and child advocate, working alongside law enforcement and the judicial system to provide training and support in cases involving human trafficking and exploitation.

Prevention Starts at Home Parents need to understand the realities of human trafficking and take proactive steps to protect their children.

Education is the first line of defense. Children and teens must be taught about safe internet use, recognizing red flags, and feeling empowered to report suspicious interactions with strangers online.

Equally important is open communication. Boys should feel safe talking to trusted adults without fear of judgment or shame. Being open can make a huge difference since traffickers count on secrecy and shame. When kids know they can trust their parents or other adults, they’re more likely to speak up if something feels off.

Empowering Youth to Lead the Fight While parental involvement is critical, peer support can be just as powerful. Student-led groups that mentor and empower their peers can create a ripple effect of awareness and resilience. These groups can lead conversations about standing up against exploitation and encourage young people to protect one another. By building a culture where exploitation is not okay and talked about openly, we can shut down abusers’ power to manipulate and control.

Prevention is key. If we educate our youth before they become victims, if we teach them their worth and arm them with knowledge, we can stop trafficking before it starts. Safe internet practices, peer mentorship, and parental vigilance are not just strategies; they’re lifelines.

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A Message to the Brave Young Men Reading This

fight. Whether it’s through a trusted adult, a support group, or one of the many resources specifically designed for boys and young men who have survived abuse, you have options.

Seeking help is not a sign of weakness; it’s one of the bravest things you can do.

You are worthy of love, respect, and safety. You have a future filled with hope, purpose, and potential. Don’t let shame or fear hold you back from speaking your truth or seeking help. Every step you take toward healing is a victory, and every victory builds the foundation of a stronger, brighter future.

The world needs your voice, your courage, and your strength. You are not defined by what has happened to you.

You are defined by how you rise from it.

You are brave. You are strong. And you are never, ever alone.

To the young men who are struggling in silence, I want you to know this: you are not alone.

It takes courage to face tough topics like this, and the fact that you’re here shows how strong you are.

When we talk about sexual violence, trafficking, harassment, and exploitation, the conversation often centers around females. But the truth is, boys and young men are just as likely to be targeted. Many boys get targeted because of things no one should take advantage of—like tough family situations, money problems, or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Traffickers count on their victims to stay silent, and society often makes it worse by ignoring or not understanding the struggles boys go through.

Here’s what I want you to know: none of this is your fault. Being targeted doesn’t mean you’re weak or unworthy.

It doesn’t define who you are or who you’re meant to be. Your past does not dictate your future.

Help is available. There are people who will believe you, support you, and help you heal. You are not alone in this

Rachel is an author, international consultant, speaker, overcomer, and registered nurse certified by the Commission for Forensic Nursing Certification through the International Association of Forensic Nurses in adult and adolescent sexual assault as well as pediatric sexual assault.

“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,” Isaiah 61:1 NIV

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The Global Crisis.

HEARTS ARE BEING STIRRED TO ACTION Sex trafficking has been going on for thousands of years. With the growth of online access to pornography, the demand for buying sex has soared around the world.

Like the illegal drug industry, enormous amounts of money are being made by sex traffickers who are also involved with organized crime organizations and gang activity.

Industry recruiters can be school classmates, friends, or people considered online friends. In some cases, traffickers can even be family members.

BE INSPIRED WITH HOPE. We share these stories to inspire and bring you hope that organizations around the world are helping to recover, heal, and restore victims of sex trafficking.

BRING AWARENESS TO OTHERS AND BE PART OF THE SOLUTION. Share with others what you have learned about this issue and think of creative ideas to become part of the solution.

JOIN US. Is your heart being stirred? You can join in the fight by partnering with Releasing Generations as we connect with various organizations locally in Hawaii and globally. Together let’s make a difference!

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There is Hope Rising.

The fierce wave of dawn crashes through the darkness—unstoppable, rising with new hope, reminding you to rise and shine. Many people around the world are being moved to take action

and do their part! It starts with you. And it starts with me. Let us be fueled with a vision to do our part in bringing God’s justice and freedom to this world.

Let’s dream and discover what is possible.

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Journal Write about your main takeaway from this chapter. What are some new things that you learned? Describe your level of concern about this justice issue.

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Chapter 4: Sex Trafficking

• • • • • •

Activity

Walk it out.

What is Sex Trafficking?

Sextortion: Click with Caution It Happened To Me! A Guy! What Keeps A Victim Trapped?

Is My Friend Being Trafficked?

Voices of Freedom: Three Stories of Victors

Choose one or more action steps:

1. Review the 10 Tips page and do one or both of the 5. Creatively express the importance of sex trafficking following this week: • Set up a safety word that only you and your family know.

• Memorize at least one trusted friend’s or family member’s phone number.

awareness and prevention through the arts, then share your work with others.

• Write a poem.

• Write a skit • Write a song. about the issue.

• Make a creative film • Paint or create to educate others and graphics to further to help prevent sex the anti-sex trafficktrafficking. ing cause.

2. Do a Bible study on justice and compassion: Study

verses like Isaiah 1:17 (“Seek justice, encourage the oppressed”) and Proverbs 31:8-9. Reflect on how God calls His followers to stand up for those who cannot defend themselves.

6. Make it a point to pray about this issue regularly: •

3. Raise Funds for an Anti Sex Trafficking Organization.

Here are just a couple of ideas—ask God for creative ideas.

Consider giving to an anti-sex trafficking organization(s) even in your future as an adult.

• Collect loose change: You can do your own fundraiser by collecting loose change from people you know and donating the proceeds to a credible local anti-sex trafficking organization or ministry you know of.

• Give up your birthday presents: You can throw yourself a birthday party, but tell guests instead of buying you a gift, they can donate money towards your fundraiser to support an anti-sex trafficking organization of your choice.

• •

•

Pray for the freedom and safety of those entrapped in sex trafficking and for the healing and restoration of survivors.

Pray for anti-sex trafficking organizations, ministries, and people you know of who are on the front lines of this battle against sex trafficking.

Pray that the traffickers, the people who purchase sex, and those who watch pornography will encounter God, turn from their ways, and instead join the fight against sex trafficking. Such people are broken people themselves and need the salvation, love, and mercy of God in their lives.

Pray as God leads you to pray!

7. Look for ways to support anti-sex trafficking

4. Use your social media to help educate people about

organizations that do good work.

the issue—share posts about facts and ways to prevent sex trafficking.

The struggle is real, and so is hope.

Text 494949 to chat now | FREE Mental Health Chat Center | 24/7 for those over 13 years old.

1-888-373-7888 | Toll-Free Hotline | 24/7 | Confidential | Get Help. Report Trafficking.

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“How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony!”

Psalm 133:1 NLT

Chapter 05

Pornography Sexual Violence & Trauma Sex Trafficking The Brotherhood Rising Strong

The Brotherhood

In many cultures throughout history, some men have used their strength and power in ways that ended up dominating and oppressing others, including women and children. This kind of behavior has created cycles where people feel afraid, unequal, and undervalued. But in today’s world, there’s a call from God for men to step up—not to control or intimidate, but to protect and stand up for others.

This is where the rising brotherhood of men in every community can make a difference. Mature men of godly integrity can, as father figures or big brothers, mentor younger men and boys. They can model that real strength is about taking leadership in building a world based on honor, respect, dignity, empathy, and fairness.

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God designed men to grow stronger together. Living in brotherhood isn’t just a good idea—it’s essential for becoming the men He calls us to be. When we surround ourselves with trustworthy, godly brothers, we gain support through struggles, encouragement to stay true to our word, and friends who celebrate our victories. Together, we sharpen each other, stay faithful to our mission, and walk boldly in the purpose God has for us.

This kind of brotherhood across generations creates a powerful legacy that spreads respect, support, and justice, making the world a better place for everyone.

Young men, rise up! Older men, rise up! The world needs what you have to offer!

THE RISING OF THE BROTHERHOOD

THE POWER OF BROTHERHOOD IN SHAPING MEN

by Landon Mauricio

Ever thought about how forming strong brotherly bonds with other guys could help you reach your full potential—and how you could help them do the same? When you’re part of a real brotherhood, you lift each other up, growing stronger together.

Martin Luther King Jr., one of the most influential leaders in history, said it like this: “The beauty of genuine brotherhood and peace is more precious than diamonds or silver or gold.”

If you’re open, willing to learn, and ready for growth, a solid group of friends can sharpen and support you as you achieve your purpose. A brotherhood like this helps shape boys into men, building strength, resilience, and a sense of direction. These connections are where real stories are shared, and life lessons are learned, inspiring each other along the way.

Father figures can be like powerful hammers in a brotherhood, shaping us through honest conversations, challenging discussions, and shared dreams. The friction and heat of these moments help mold boys into men— testing beliefs, sharpening values, and widening perspectives.

In a brotherhood, friends get where you’re coming from because they’re facing similar challenges and dreams, even if their paths are different. Their support is rooted in understanding, making it easier to open up, learn, and grow together. While a loving spiritual father’s guidance is powerful

and needed, the unique strength of a brotherhood lies in the way you can relate to each other on the same level.

A Christian community of ‘brothers’ is not just a backdrop but a big part of shaping men. It’s an environment that tempers, shapes, and uplifts. Right now is the time to get involved with such a community. Reach out and join a group of friends who want to achieve similar things as you. Seek out wise mentors.

Find older friends or people you respect who can help you on your journey.

And don’t forget to share and listen.

Be ready to give advice and also take it.

Be both someone who helps others and someone who learns from them. Doing these things will create a space where you and others can grow and become better together.

“Grant us brotherhood, not only for this day but for all our years, a brotherhood not of words but of acts and deeds.” Stephen Vincent Benet

As God works in your life, shaping you step by step, He’ll bring both men and women to speak truth and wisdom to you. This article dives into how a solid group of brothers can be a huge part of that journey, giving you the support you need to rise into the strong, good, and godly man you’re meant to be!

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Proverbs 18:24 NIV

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STANDING TALL TOGETHER

National Park Service, each year, they can add mass equivalent to a fifty-foot tree that’s one foot across. It’s unbelievable!

I always assumed that in order to grow so tall and so massive, sequoias must have the deepest roots. Actually, their roots are pretty shallow compared to their size. So, how do they stand up? Why don’t they fall over when the first gust of wind hits their upper branches?

The answer: they grow in groves. A single Sequoia tree would fall over if it were standing by itself. All the trees in a grove send their roots outward to interlock with the roots of the other trees. Sequoias can live 3000 years because they support each other. The trees need each other to survive.

We are the same.

Many movies and video games have a single hero who rises above the trials he faces to overcome the bad guy and save the day. Reality doesn’t work like that. We need each other. No one can make it alone.

My favorite comic and TV show as a kid was The X-Men. I used to watch it every Saturday. The X-men are a group of misfits and outcasts who all have special abilities. Through their teamwork, they save the world every week.

by John Allison

I fulfilled one of my life goals a few years ago. As a kid, I read about the Sequoia trees in the Sierra Nevada mountains in California in a science magazine and was captivated. I always wanted to see them in real life. When I finally went, every expectation I had turned out to be too small.

Sequoias are better and bigger than you can imagine, and being with them in the forest is an overwhelming experience.

Did you know they have a smell? It’s earthy and piney. It’s amazing. Standing next to their giant mass makes you feel small, especially when you realize that one trunk is thicker than you are tall.

Sequoia trees are some of the largest living things on the planet. They can be taller than a 25-story building and wider than two cars bumper-to-bumper. They are also one of the fastest-growing things in the world. According to the US

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Those are the best kinds of stories because they are more true to life than the “lone cowboy” who rides in to save the day with no help from anyone. It’s the same reason I love movies like the Guardians of the Galaxy and the Spider-Verse movies. None of us are perfect, and none of us can make it alone. We need each other.

As guys, it’s important for us to be part of a community with both men and women of all ages, and that includes looking out for those who are younger than us. Everyone has something valuable to bring to the table, and we all matter across generations. By building friendships and being part of groups that feel like family, we get to experience what real support and unity are all about. And while we all need each other, there’s also great value in having groups specifically for men, women, kids, teens, and seniors—because sometimes,

being with people who connect with you on a different level can make a big difference.

Let’s appreciate the times we get together with other guys, building up those friendships that help us stand strong and support each other. When we have each other’s backs, we can make a positive impact on our families, schools, workplaces, churches, and the world around us!

Overall, standing tall together as men, like those groves of sequoia trees, can provide us with the guidance, strength, and friendship needed to help us grow into men who live with purpose and confidence.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT tells us: “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”

Being a part of a community of fellow men you can relate to is powerful because it provides a safe space for learning, growth, and support.

Here are some reasons why this is so important: • Shared Experiences: Growing up can be challenging, especially with all the pressures and changes we face. Having older men and peers who have been through similar things helps guys feel understood and less alone.

• Emotional Support: Many guys find it hard to talk about their feelings, but a strong brotherhood provides a place to open up without judgment. This kind of support can make a huge difference in dealing with stress, loneliness, or any struggles they face.

• Positive Role Models: A community of men with godly character offers examples of what healthy masculinity can look like.

Seeing men who live with integrity, work hard, and handle struggles well can inspire others to grow into responsible and kind men themselves.

• Encouragement and Growth: In a supportive community, guys are encouraged to grow, set goals, and develop into their best selves. Brothers can cheer each other on and offer advice when someone is struggling or unsure of themselves.

• Accountability: Good friends and mentors in a community challenge each other to stay on track and make good decisions. This accountability can help men of all ages to resist negative peer pressure and stay true to their values, especially when faced with tough choices.

• Learning from Mistakes: Being in a community of men allows guys to see that everyone makes mistakes and can grow as a result of them. When others share their own experiences, it can make it easier to handle setbacks and learn from failures without feeling defeated.

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ACTIVIT Y

You can do one of the following in the space below: • Sketch something that symbolically represents what strong brotherhood looks like OR sketch what unity looks like to you. Be creative!

• Or write a poem that expresses the value of brotherhood or unity.

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Maybe you already have a solid group of guy friends, or maybe you don’t and desire one. Regardless of where you are, reflecting on the value of being a part of a brotherhood of guys is helpful in the journey of life. You may feel a camaraderie with the men and boys in your family or extended family, with your teammates in an extracurricular group, in your church family, at your workplace, or in your social circle.

True story: There was a high school teacher who noticed there was a group of guys always wanting to hang around him in his classroom. One day, one of them shared that they all observed admirable qualities in him as he was kind, respectful, friendly, fun, and yet an assertive and strong leader with integrity. This student asked the teacher to show him and his friends how to be good men, explaining that culture teaches a lot about what not to be as men but fails to show them what to be.

In a world where many guys do not have loving fathers in their lives or their fathers are not positive role models, proactively seeking out wise and honorable mentors can make a huge difference!

The Lone Wolf vs. The Pack. Compare and contrast the benefits of going through life alone vs. being surrounded by a group of good brothers. Journal your thoughts:

Who’s in My Circle? List a few of the closest male influences in your life. How do they help or hinder your growth? What changes might be needed?

Testimony of Friendship: Share a personal story about a guy friend or mentor who made a lasting impact on your life.

Strength in Numbers: Think about an area where you struggle. How could a brotherhood of good guys help you overcome it?

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DARING GREATLY: THE CHARGE Imagine the world we could build.

Remember, embrace the power of vulnerability. You are not called to model perfection but, instead, to model the process of growing. Stay teachable. Pursue personal and spiritual growth. Walk with humility and confidence. We are ordinary, imperfect people who can do extraordinary things with God!

Imagine a generation of men, forged in brotherhood, and a generation of women, strong in sisterhood, standing sideby-side.

Imagine the unstoppable, world-changing force that can be unleashed when a community of men—a true band of brothers—locks arms, united in a single purpose: daring greatly to be the change.

This is how movements are born. It starts with a committed few, but their collective courage and vision create a ripple effect, multiplying a positive impact far beyond their initial reach.

2. MEN WHO STAND AGAINST INJUSTICE Reflect God’s pure heart for justice and mercy. In a world where things aren’t always fair, choosing to do what’s right and just matters more than ever. Be a person who dares to stand up against what is wrong by using your voice, resources, and actions to support people who are vulnerable or overlooked. This kind of courage isn’t about looking for fights—it’s about refusing to turn a blind eye when things are unfair, whether at school, in the community, or beyond.

In this journal, we covered the justice issue of sex trafficking and the trauma of sexual violence. We also addressed the issue of pornography, which feeds into and promotes dangerous exploitation. Be challenged to become a shining catalyst of change, protection, healing, and freedom concerning these important and sensitive issues whenever possible.

Take up the challenge to stand against what is damaging to others. Help build a network of people who work together to create a world where everyone is treated with respect and dignity.

“No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a part of the main.” – John Donne

When a guy decides to step up to make a difference, his impact goes way beyond himself. It affects his family, friends, community, and even the culture around him in powerful ways. By living with godly integrity, he becomes an example of courage, strength, and compassion. This kind of character creates a ripple effect, inspiring others to live by values that lift people up instead of only selfishly looking out for themselves.

That’s how real change happens—when one person’s actions inspire others to build a better, stronger community.

Seek to find a faith community and a band of brothers where you can receive the support and encouragement needed to fulfill your purpose and dreams—and contribute and add value to others. There is power in collaboration!

A great example of this can be found in the story of King David who was blessed with a company of men referred to as David’s Mighty Men in 1 Chronicles 11:10-47 and 2 Samuel 23:8-39. The Lord used the amazing exploits of David’s brotherhood of Mighty Men to secure David’s throne.

3. FULFILL A HIGHER PURPOSE There is a profound and unique strength that ignites when men of God stand together. In a world that often isolates, the fellowship of brothers in Christ is not just a comfort—it is a forge.

This is the vital purpose of men’s ministries, from local church gatherings to movements like Promise Keepers— Men of Integrity. Men’s groups and ministries create a space where men can forge authentic friendships, grounded in faith and accountability. They are the places where, as “iron sharpens iron,” men

1. BECOMING A ROLE MODEL FOR OTHERS Today, many young people grow up without strong male role models, often seeing examples of men absent from their families or chasing after power, fame, or wealth at any cost.

A man who commits to doing what is right becomes a great role model, especially to younger men and boys who are still figuring out what it means to be “a good man.” A man of integrity demonstrates that strength is not about domination but seeking noble pursuits such as protection, care, and service. Seek out such mentors and role models and aspire to be such a man yourself.

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Fight for your future and the generations after you with the good that you do in the world! God designed you for adventure and leadership in your own unique way.

Love, follow, and obey the Lord wholeheartedly with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength!

are encouraged in their walk, equipped for their calling, supported through life’s battles, and sharpened into the husbands, fathers, brothers, leaders, and disciples God created them to be.

You are a man who has an important, special, God-given purpose beyond simply meeting your own needs and desires.

Take bold steps towards discovering the causes and concerns that deeply move you and partner with God and others to find creative solutions and promote positive change.

This is your time to walk in greater bravery and boldness.

Let the Lord’s brotherhood of mighty men rise!

4. LEGACY AND FUTURE GENERATIONS

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.

You have a shared purpose: to live as a powerful, living example—a beacon of integrity, courage, and purpose—to light the way for others.

A man who lives with integrity leaves a legacy far beyond his life. What a person does today sets the stage for future generations, who will either benefit from the good choices made now or will have to deal with the problems that were ignored. Your actions today shape the future for others, whether you realize it or not!

Proverbs 31:8–9 NLT (Italic added)

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Journal

Journal any reflections you have after reading this chapter on brotherhood.

Mindful Lettering: Trace the lettering. It does not have to be perfect. You may rewrite the phrase a number of times on the page. Enjoy the process of mindful lettering.

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Chapter 5: The Brotherhood Activity

Walk it out.

• The Rising of the Brotherhood The Power of Brotherhood in Shaping Men • Standing Tall Together • Daring Greatly: The Charge

Choose one or more action steps:

1.

4.

2.

5.

Initiate creating an ‘Iron Sharpens Iron’ small group of 3-5 guys who meet regularly to discuss faith, struggles, victories, and goals. You can use Proverbs 27:17 (“Iron sharpens iron”) as a foundation for accountability and growth.

Get together with another guy friend or two and plan an outing with some guys and go camping, fishing, hiking, or some other activity with a focus on growing friendships and growing spiritually. You can include a time for deeper conversations, prayer, and goal-setting.

Plan a service project with other guys you know, such as repairing a home, feeding the homeless, mentoring younger boys, cleaning up an elderly person’s yard, or cleaning up a neighborhood. Be creative and ask God for ideas. Serving as a team strengthens bonds and grows character.

If you don’t currently have many guy friends, don’t chase friendships that compromise integrity. Instead, start small by talking to classmates or teammates.

Invite someone to grab food, play a game, or hang out after school.

3.

Invite older men and younger guys to a panel discussion where different generations share struggles, successes, and advice on biblical manhood. This could be a great opportunity to learn from men of all ages.

The older men can also learn from the younger men!

Guy friendships can grow when you make the first move. Commit to growing in being a great friend, such as being a good listener, showing interest in others, being reliable and trustworthy. Taking these steps will attract the right kind of friendships and help you step into a strong brotherhood where you can grow, lead, and thrive.

The struggle is real, and so is hope.

Text 494949 to chat now | FREE Mental Health Chat Center | 24/7 for those over 13 years old.

1-888-373-7888 | Toll-Free Hotline | 24/7 | Confidential | Get Help. Report Trafficking.

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“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.”

Isaiah 60:1 NIV

Chapter 06

Pornography Sexual Violence & Trauma Sex Trafficking The Brotherhood Rising Strong

Rising Strong

Ever wonder if there’s something greater for your life? Like there’s this quiet whisper inside of you saying, “There’s more.

You were made for more.” That whisper is right. God did not create you to live an insignificant life. He planted greatness inside of you—potential that is waiting to be activated no matter who you are, where you come from, or what mistakes you’ve made.

The truth about greatness: When people hear the word greatness, they often think of people who are famous, successful, or have millions of followers. But true greatness is about living fully as the person you were created to be and using your gifts to make an impact in the world.

Right now, you may not feel extraordinary. You might feel average like you’re just another person in a crowded world.

Maybe you compare yourself to others. You need to hear this: There is more inside of you than you can even see right now.

Rising strong starts here. Rising strong starts when you say: • I refuse to stay stuck.

• I won’t let my past define me.

• I’m ready to step into my potential.

Remember, greatness is developed in hard, challenging moments when you push past excuses and decide to take one step forward, even when it feels uncomfortable. It is a walk of faith.

The problem is that many people never unlock the greatness inside of them because they settle. They doubt their potential, settle for comfort, fitting in, and doing what’s easy instead of right.

Let’s take the first step together by diving into this chapter!

Say yes to unlocking the greatness inside of you. Say yes to rising strong.

But here’s the truth: God wants to unlock your greatness in you. It’s something you must choose to step into as you walk closely with Him, following His lead.

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JUNGLE TO JEWELRY TO JUSTICE

by Chris Kanemura

There is the smell of something burning in the distance, the sound of sirens, honking horns, the roar of vehicles, and commotion from crowds of people. The heat is intense, and the humidity is suffocating. Mabuhay! Welcome to Ninoy Aquino International Airport! It is just a typical day in the concrete jungle of Manila. In case the message is unclear, there’s a sign to remind you as you exit the airport: “It’s more fun in the Philippines.”

We arrived in the evening from the long 16-hour commute from Honolulu to Manila. Tired but super hungry, we went to find food. Seeing some taxicabs parked near our hotel, we asked one of the drivers for a ride to the nearest mall.

Using his lower lip to point and nod in the general direction of down the street, the taxi driver says, “It’s just nearby there.”

He then asks us, “You guys want entertainment?”

We obviously looked a bit confused, so he clarified further, saying, “You guys want to go to the bars and get girls?”

We were like, “Whoa, no!” and I was like, “We are missionaries, and he (my friend) is a pastor!” That was the only dumb response I could come up with amid the shock of that awful proposition. These were my first impressions from the first few hours of my first trip to the Philippines.

Since then, I’ve been to the Philippines over two dozen times for work and mission trips. But there were moments during my early trips that stood out. Moments that made me uncomfortable and that I knew were not right left me with so many questions. Unbeknownst to me, these moments were shaping and preparing me. Like breadcrumbs on a trail, they were leading me on a journey.

I remember a little girl sitting up against a long wall with colorful murals that students had painted. She was barefoot, covered in soot from the street, and wiping her tears on the shoulder of her black, tattered tank top. She looked to be around 6 or 7 years old, but she was so thin and frail. Her appearance starkly contrasted with the vibrant, happy, and hope-filled murals behind her: bright colored paints that showed families together and friends playing, and beautiful nature scenes. Is she okay? Why is she alone? Why is she crying? Is she hungry? There’s a school right here! Where are social services? What am I supposed to do? What is going on here? Is this normal? Jesus? Jesus. Overwhelmed, I wept too.

I decided to visit orphanages to learn, see, and try to understand their needs. Then, I started small by just bringing some vitamins and toothbrushes for kids. I visited many orphanages during this learning period, asked many questions, made many friends, and even learned to ride a motorbike.

The raucous chatter and laughter of what sounded like a room full of schoolgirls caught the attention of both the orphanage executive director and me. She chuckled and said, “Oh, the girls are taking their lunch! Let’s go say hi.” We peered into the lunchroom, and a chorus of “Hi ma’am, hi sir!” rang out. It seemed they were having a blast and enjoying lunch. As we walked away from the lunchroom, the executive director paused, her face turned serious, and she said, “It’s good to see them laugh. These girls are between the ages of 8 and 18 and have been removed from their homes because they have been sexually abused.”

A mix of emotions rushed all at once, and all I could respond with was, “Ohhhh… that’s awful.” I vividly recall thinking, “Oh boy, that is something I could NEVER deal with.”

I saw a banner with colorful handprints that the girls had put on it. I took a photo so I wouldn’t forget that moment.

Those moments I shared had a deep impact on me. A year and a half later, I co-founded MADE IN HOPE, a nonprofit organization that supports survivors of sex trafficking in the Philippines and works creatively to prevent trafficking in Hawai’i. And that photo of the handprints – we use it on our business cards to this day. Also, I’ve become more careful with the word “NEVER.” We started small, simply selling jewelry made by the survivors to help them provide for their families and get an education. Sometimes, I even sold jewelry out of the trunk of my car! I know… it’s weird.

“Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” – Mother Teresa

Busting down doors and rescuing people? Yeah, we don’t do much of that. Instead, we build up people and create spaces for people to build relationships. The truth is that some of the solutions to ending human trafficking are being kind, having compassion and respect for each other, being humble, and doing it all with love. If that is how everyone in the world treated each other, there’d be no human trafficking, as well as a lot of other problems. Simple—but we all need a lot of practice to make it a habit.

RISING STRONG Whatever it is that you feel you are supposed to do, your great purpose, just know you don’t always have to go big or go home. You don’t need a grand plan to rise up and stand for a great cause. Starting small is just fine. The main thing is that you get started, preferably with some friends. And just try your best…with great love.

“You may choose to look the other way, but you can never say again that you did not know.” – William Wilberforce

It’s not like I didn’t notice all the poverty in the Philippines, but my heart just broke when I saw that little girl. All I could do at that moment was silently pray for her as my friend moved me on. I wanted to do something, but where to begin?

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Mindful Lettering: Trace the lettering.

It does not have to be perfect. You may rewrite the phrase a number of times on the page. Enjoy the process of mindful lettering.

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YOUR RISING PATH

by Ian Nelson

When I was little, I wanted to be a zookeeper. I was low-key obsessed with animals. So naturally, in my six-year-old brain, what could possibly be better than working at a zoo with animals?

However, some unexpected events confused my life vision. I visited a friend’s farm and quickly learned how much crap farmers must put up with. I mean this quite literally—there is a ton of manure on animal farms. That’s a problem because I’ve always had a super sensitive ‘sniffer’—strong smells can hit me hard and send me straight into gag mode, dry heaving and all. At my friend’s farm, I plugged my nose the whole day!

I wondered if I was not cut out to shovel animal feces for a living.

Then, at age 10, a real tragedy struck.

Living out in the country, I oversaw the feeding of our dog and cats, who roamed the property. One night, my favorite cat, Gertrude, went missing. A week later, my dad found what was left of the poor cat’s remains. Gertrude had been outnumbered by a pack of coyotes and eaten. I was crushed thinking about my helpless cat in trouble. Maybe I didn’t have the toughness to care for fragile animals as a zookeeper after all.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t end up becoming a zookeeper. Today, I care for and protect an entirely different kind of creature—humans.

A lot has changed since my young zookeeper ambitions. It was not a straight path getting to where I am today in human justice work. Long story short: • • •

• •

I first learned in middle school that I was a good writer.

In high school, I got into creative arts and photography.

At age 16, I had a powerful encounter with God’s love and committed to serving God for the rest of my life.

During college, I studied marketing and volunteered in a youth group.

After college, I worked for several years at a church.

Then it happened. I got the opportunity of a lifetime to help an upand-coming nonprofit called Remember Nhu save children from traffickers. At the time of this writing, I work as a Vice President at a nonprofit that focuses on combating child sex trafficking in 16 countries. The focus of our organization is to protect vulnerable children from the dangers of predators. I love what I do for a living, and I don’t have to shovel any poop! For the record, I still have pets, and I still like animals, but you could say I have found my true calling.

What about you? How do you find the right vision and mission for your life and rise to fulfill your potential?

Here are 5 Questions to ask yourself: What Am I Passionate About?

Each of us is wired differently. Make a list of your interests and hobbies. Not every hobby will turn out to be a lifelong passion or sustainable career, but some can. Circle the things on your list that you feel strongly about. What kind of activities do you find most fulfilling?

What do you daydream about? Perhaps also ask, “What is wrong in the world that upsets me?” In my story, I had no idea that my concern for animals falling victim to predators would one day turn into a way to help people.

WHAT AM I GOOD AT?

Our unique skill sets can often be clues for discovering ways to contribute to the world. I’m bad at a lot of stuff, even when I try my hardest. For example, I like the idea of being a major league baseball player, but I’m a lousy baseball player! My talents are more along the lines of leading people and communicating creatively. What are your talents? Are there any skills that differentiate you?

HOW CAN MY PASSIONS OR TALENTS HELP THE WORLD?

When we start using our abilities to serve the world, we either discover a potential vision for our lives or we

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discover we don’t like shoveling poop. So, try stuff. Take risks. The world is shaped by doers.

Put your passions and talents together. For example, if you’re good at chess and find it fulfilling to teach others how to play, perhaps sign up for a local chess club. If pollution makes you angry and you are skilled at making funny videos, make a TikTok video to raise awareness for a local environmental initiative.

WHAT DO OTHERS SAY?

Ask people close to you what they think your talents and passions are or what they picture you doing with your life. Run your vision by someone who knows you well. People who care about us can often affirm whether we’re on the right track with a vision. However, be careful —there are plenty of naysayers out there who enjoy shooting down ideas like professional snipers.

WHAT DOES GOD WANT ME TO DO?

I saved the most important question for last. God created you with a purpose, and He loves you.

Ask God what He wants you to do, then listen and obey. When you take a step to follow God, something amazing often happens—you discover that His plan usually lines up with a deep desire in your heart.

Psalm 37:4 NASB says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

Once you identify a vision for your life, take practical steps in that direction.

Have fun with your ideas, and dream big! Following a vision is a lifetime adventure with ups and downs. God has a way of sharpening our vision as we go along. Certain doors open up, and others stay shut. Not everyone is meant to be a zookeeper.

I should wrap up by saying childhood dreams really do come true for people all the time. I may not have become a zookeeper, but my cousin Casey wanted to be a pilot as a little boy. Guess what his career is now? He is a commercial airline pilot, and I’m happy for him. My guess is he never had to shovel any poop.

Your future isn’t behind you— it’s rising in front of you like the sun.

Every new day is a step toward the purpose and potential waiting to unfold in your life.

Maya Angelou

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FUTURE NOW!

Little did I know that my life was about to change. One night, I noticed a Christian booklet in my apartment that a friend had left for me. Out of curiosity, I read it. The booklet had a prayer to receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. After reading the booklet, I prayed. The words hit me.

Something changed within me. From that moment, my life began to turn around. For the first time, I realized that my life had value and purpose.

Over the next many years, with newfound motivation, I returned to Florida State University, received my Bachelor’s Degree, and later graduated from Rhema Bible College. I became a youth pastor, married my wife Terri, and started a family of my own.

by Chris Musgrove, Founder and Director of Future Now

I decided in 7th grade that school was a waste of time. I decided to do just enough to get by. My report cards reflected this and always included messages from the teacher like “creating a disturbance in class,” “poor study habits,” and “failure to follow directions.”

I had a ‘no-care’ attitude. I would do anything for attention, which kept me in the principal’s office. The only thing I accomplished in high school, other than barely graduating, was being voted “Class Clown.”

I once heard someone say, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll take every road.” Proverbs 29:18 NKJ says, “Without a vision, the people perish.” That was me. I didn’t know where I was going, and I didn’t care.

After graduating from high school, I had no idea what to do. I had friends going to Florida State University, so I applied there and was accepted despite my low SAT score.

By the end of my first year in college, I not only developed drug and alcohol habits, but I was also arrested twice, had multiple car wrecks, had my driver’s license revoked, had failing grades, got kicked out of school, and had no job.

Little did I know that my adventure with God was only beginning.

In the spring of 1990, the local Fellowship of Christian Athlete’s Area Director, Steve McHargue, asked me to help him facilitate a week-long evangelistic assembly program for several schools in four different counties in our area.

At the end of that week, after doing several school assemblies in middle and high schools, we held an evening outreach event where, to our surprise, over 2,200 students showed up, and over 400 prayed to receive Jesus! WHOA GOD! Something else exciting happened that night after witnessing what happened! God inspired me with a huge

I had no vision, no purpose, and no plans.

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vision for my life that would later grow beyond my wildest dreams! I envisioned someday leading public school assemblies that would help youth know their immense value and ignite the sense of purpose within them that is found in a relationship with Jesus.

The reason why I share my story is to inspire YOU with faith and hope. I challenge you to seek the Lord regarding YOUR purpose and vision for your future. Follow Him as Lord. He is trustworthy and loves you deeply! His goodness has no limits!

ARISE and dream big with God, then dream bigger!

Nothing is impossible with God.

The following verse in Jeremiah became the fiery flame in my heart: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Seven years later, in 1998, the vision started coming to pass while I was on a mission trip with some students in Liverpool, England. During our trip, we were invited to lead a school assembly at a school that the famous John Lennon, a Beatles member, attended. Miraculously, we received permission to share about God in this assembly, which was a big deal since, in the UK, a very small percentage of people attend church regularly.

At the close of the assembly, one student responded by walking forward to the stage area to pray and commit his life to Jesus. As he walked forward, the other students began to mock and laugh at him. This bothered me. I didn’t know what I was going to say at that point, but thank God, the Holy Spirit led me! Without even thinking, I blurted loudly, “They say John Lennon went to this school, and John Lennon said the Beatles would be more popular than Jesus Christ. But John Lennon is dead and in his grave, but Jesus Christ rose from His grave, and He (Jesus) is what this young man has come to receive today.”

Silence. Then, suddenly, two-thirds of those students got out of their seats and walked to the front of the stage to commit their lives to Jesus alongside the first youth!

What happened next kept me awake at night for months after that trip. April Perez, one of the young ladies on our mission team, told me after the assembly, “When we get back to Florida, we’ve got to do this!”

I told her that what just happened was against the law in Florida, and she responded, “Isn’t there something we can do?”

Her words rang in my head for many weeks after that, and all I could think about was the vision God had given me years ago about going into the public schools and doing assemblies.

Three years later, my vision became a reality. The movement called FutureNow was birthed! I began to lead public school assemblies that infused purpose and vision into the lives of youth—ultimately through Jesus!

Through FutureNow, several hundred thousand students have received the message of God’s healing love, their immense value, and God’s incredible future plans for their lives, and tens of thousands of youth have made commitments to follow Jesus Christ.

God chose an ordinary, imperfect, unlikely person like me to do something extraordinary with Him.

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” Corrie ten Boom

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The flight of an eagle reminds you that you were made to rise as a hero who sees beyond what is. The wind beneath the eagle's wings calls your name - rise!

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ARISE A HERO

In such challenging times, we need to have hope in action to lead people to the other side of problems, where solutions lie.

My new passion is to summon a generation of people who will be able to win and overcome their personal, private, painful battles that no one can see or fully understand—the ones that you fight in your mind and your heart. That is where the battle starts, and that is where we begin to change culture.

The bigger the mess, the bigger the message can be. The greater the test, the greater the testimony and the more glory can be given to God. Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Matthew 19:26 NIV

by Allen Cardines, State Commissioner for the Hawaii State Commission on Fatherhood led an initiative called “Fathering Hawaii’s Future.”

Do any of you have any problems in life?

As a native Hawaiian leader in my state, there was a time when I held deep pain and hatred in my heart for certain people who committed certain injustices that happened in the past…and I believed I was a powerless victim feeling used, abused, and taken for granted.

I live in Nanakuli, a city on the island of Oahu, where I have seen how local crimes, tragedies, and divisions cause deep pain and hopelessness in people. Yet, in recent years, I have also seen God do powerful miracles of transformation and healing of lives, as others and I have taken action to bring about positive change with God’s heart.

As a side note, in Volume 2, you can read more about my life in the article, The Angry Man Transformed. Yup, that was me.

But, before I share some hope-filled news with you, let me give you a snapshot of a time recently when my community was overwhelmed with the following list of concerns:

THE REVIVAL OF ALOHA (LOVE) IN MY OWN HEART I now believe I am powerful, not powerless, because I can choose my attitude and actions. I have a purpose of making right the wrongs and of being an ambassador of God’s aloha (love) and peace.

I started to put my faith into action by partnering with God and leading the charge to put the ‘neighbor’ back in my neighborhood and ‘unity’ back in my community.

Through my faith, with lots of perseverance, sacrifice, and not letting criticism from others stop me, I began to take leadership. Over time, I helped to initiate the following:

• Road Rage Crimes: Our senior elders, who should be respected and protected, were being physically attacked while in their cars.

• Gun Violence: Even innocent youth were victims of gun violence.

• Homicides: In one year, there was an 80% rise in homicides.

• Drug Addiction: There was high drug use and drug-related crimes.

• Homelessness: There has been a huge rise in homelessness.

• Kidnapping: Kidnapping crimes were being committed.

• Suicide: Youth suicide rates were heartbreaking.

• Sex Trafficking and prostitution were on the rise.

• High Numbers of Children in the Foster Care System.

• Elevate the Neighborhood Watch Program, where neighborhood teams (including ex-convicts and ex-drug dealers) began to watch out for each other, preventing crime in partnership with the police. One victory: The community came together, including a team of grandmothers, who helped to shut down a gambling drug house that the government tried to shut down for over 20 years! This was a feature story headlined, Grandmas and Gangsters, on an online news organization, Honolulu Civil Beat.

• We increased Community Policing, where we began to deal with the underlying causes of crime and social problems and find positive, productive, creative solutions to painful and seemingly impossible situations.

• I spearheaded a Challenge Day program in our local public high school so youth could heal from hurts, know their value, and have hope for their future.

Having hope is hard when you feel helpless. To be honest, before my attitude changed, even as a pastor of a local church, I DID NOT WANT to get involved in being part of the solution, though community leaders were asking me to help.

It all started with me asking myself, “Does God love and care about my community? Do I love and care about my community?” If I wanted things to change, change needed to begin with me. I realized that getting angry, complaining, causing division and disunity, and doing nothing is not helpful. I made the decision to learn and grow to have a greater love for my community. I went through a radical mind shift in my perspective.

• I implemented the Operation Blue Light Christmas initiative to heal the divide between the community and the local police department. We gave wrapped Christmas gifts to the police, who delivered them to the children in our community in their police cars with their blue lights flashing. They gave gifts to 120 children in the first year. It has grown to distribute gifts to 2000+ children in Nanakuli. Operation Blue Light Christmas has spread to other cities!

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I began to see the progress of change in my community!

In the midst of moving forward, an unlikely and unexpected hero arose in Nanakuli.

MANA RISES Let me introduce you to my friend Mana, an ex-gang leader who was incarcerated for 26 years. Soon after I met Mana, I devoted myself to mentoring and discipling him, building up his sense of value and purpose for good. Over time, he accepted Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior and transformed into a different person! Mana then joined our Neighborhood Watch Program.

This is one story of many that I will never forget about Mana. At one of our Operation Blue Light Christmas events, I told Mana that he would have an opportunity to do good for the community he once used to steal from. I told him he would ride in the front passenger seat with one of the policemen to deliver the gifts. Both Mana and the policeman were initially shocked and hesitant at my instructions. You see, Mana had never sat in the front of a police car before…he had ALWAYS sat in ‘the back’ of a police car after being arrested in the past. But it happened. As Mana entered the police car to sit in the front seat, he began to weep uncontrollably at this miracle in his life.

You see, for the past 34 years, Mana had resented the police because a police officer killed his brother when his brother escaped from prison. As Mana sat in the front seat of the police car, forgiveness and healing began to change his heart.

Then I told him, “Mana, your friends who see you in the car will think you got arrested again, so make sure you show them that you do not have handcuffs on by giving people a ‘shaka’ sign (shaka sign means friendship, gratitude, positive attitude)!

Show people you are not going to jail but are partnering with the police to put the neighbor back in the hood.”

Later that year, at a conference where Nanakuli police stood on stage, Mana publicly prayed blessings of love, appreciation, and support over them! Presently, a number of police officers and Mana describe their relationship as ‘family.’

THAT is true change!

Through his solid faith and commitment to serving God, our community, and beyond, Mana’s impact and story were featured

on our statewide Hawaii News Now program and have been heard by people worldwide, giving hope and inspiration!

Although Mana is now serving his term in prison for past crimes he committed before his transformation; he continues to aspire to help and support others where he is.

Is Mana a hero? You bet he is! He is my hero. And the hero to many.

Like all communities, does my community still have many challenges and concerns? Yes. However, is my community now seeing the OTHER SIDE of the problems? Yes! We are.

REMEMBER: YOU ARE A HERO, NOT A ZERO. In closing, I want to share with you my recent vision and God-inspired proposal to community leaders to adopt the Be a Hero movement. I challenged the community and government leaders that as we roll out this movement in our city, they also must aspire to become heroes in their own families.

As you read the following pledges on the following page, I invite you to consider committing yourself to grow in these areas and be the hero I know you can be!

Heart to heart, from me to you.

I invite and challenge YOU to: • Rise and be a modern-day hero, and do whatever it takes to win your personal, painful battles. As you do this, you will be able to help others more fully.

• Help people to see the other side of their problems.

• Grow to love your community. Change starts with you.

• Use your gifts and talents to make a difference. What you do will look different than what I do. YOU BE YOU. The definition of a hero is a person who is admired for their courage, noble character, and life achievements. I believe in you.

You were created to do more beyond your wildest dreams. Believe in God’s truth that you have immense value and significant contributions to make the world a more beautiful place! Be a hero!

PLEDGE TO BE A HERO ALOHA, an acronym from Hawaii to inspire the world.

by Allen Cardines

AKAHAI: Kindness expressed with tenderness:

HA’AHA’A: Humility expressed with restraint.

“I will always control myself no matter what others do.”

“I will forgive others who have hurt me and reconcile with those I have hurt.”

We cannot control other people, but we can practice self-control and respond in respectful, honorable ways. If we cannot control ourselves, then we are ‘out of control.’

Forgive. We can pursue forgiving others who have hurt us and do our best to reconcile with those we have hurt. We cannot control their response, but we can do our part to reach out and ask for forgiveness if possible.

LOKAHI: Unity expressed with harmony.

“I will create a culture for others to feel unconditionally loved and accepted.”

AHONUI: Patience expressed with perseverance.

We can refrain from judging and seek to appreciate other people’s contributions, no matter their ethnicity, background, or age.

“I will always take responsibility for my choices and clean up my mess. I will honor the generations before me and leave a legacy for those after me.”

‘OLU’OLU: Graciousness expressed with pleasantness.

Take responsibility for your actions. Honor the good of the generations before you and seek to

“I will always listen respectfully to understand.”

leave a great legacy in your life.

We must seek to understand before seeking to be understood so we can work together to solve problems. You don’t have to agree on everything, but we can seek to co-exist together in peace.

RISING STRONG INTO AN EXTRAORDINARY FUTURE

by Michele Okimura

Have you ever felt like you’re just going through the motions?

Wake up, go to school, go to work, scroll through your phone, hang out with friends, sleep, repeat. It’s easy to fall into the rhythm of just existing, but deep inside, you probably feel it: a pull for more.

That’s because you were never meant to drift through life.

You were designed to live with purpose.

Have you ever felt a dream stirring deep inside—a vision of something you want to build, a purpose you feel called to pursue, or a gift you want to share? Maybe it’s starting your own business one day, writing a song that inspires others, or making a difference in your community. Imagine yourself shining, standing tall, making an impact.

But then something happens.

The fear creeps in. You start doubting. Maybe you don’t feel qualified. Maybe you begin to feel overwhelmed. You tell yourself, “I’ll work on it later. I’m not ready. What if I fail?” So, you wait, hoping the perfect moment will come when you feel totally ready.

I know that sinking feeling all too well—the urge to run from my dreams because I felt too small, too unqualified, too insecure to accomplish something big and bold. But I’ve also learned that sometimes the best way to grow is to take the first step anyway.

This Brave & Bold journey you have been reading through started with an unexpected God-idea I had one day. The Lord stirred my heart to see people loving themselves more, being more confident in their value, thriving in life and in relationships with greater joy, living with a great sense of purpose, reaching their potential… and being safe and protected from harm in the process.

I believe my desire to help others find purpose also stemmed from the rejection and trauma that I experienced growing up through my teen years. I believed the lie that I had little or no value. I struggled with literally hating myself!

Although I felt unlovable, I desperately wanted to feel I mattered.

Fortunately, over the years, through my faith, experiencing God’s healing, and the support of people around me, I found the courage to heal from my past hurts. This journey inspired me to believe I can make a difference by supporting others.

How did the Brave Series idea become a reality that you are now a part of? One small step at a time.

Did I ever feel overwhelmed by the mountain of unknowns? YES! Did I ever feel like giving up when I looked at the long list of tasks? YES! Did I sometimes struggle with trusting God with it all?

YES! Did I ever feel afraid that I could not lead this project to success? YES! Despite my doubts, I kept depending on the Lord and pushed through each day. I kept returning to my WHY. WHY am I doing this project?

Knowing the WHY behind your vision will help fuel your motivation and courage to take action. So, what was my why for creating Brave & Bold?

My WHY was you.

Though I may never meet you face to face in my lifetime, I want you to know that I fully believe that your life matters, regardless of what you have been through. Hold onto hope.

You don’t have to wait to be older, richer, or more experienced to make a difference. The truth is that every extraordinary life begins with ordinary, everyday choices.

The people who rise take small, intentional steps when no one is watching. They say “yes” to what matters and “no” to what distracts them. They choose to have noble character when it would be easier to cut corners. They act on the nudges of the Holy Spirit.

The Power of One Small Step Think about it: a single spark starts a wildfire. One drop of water can send a ripple across a pond. One conversation or one small step in the right direction can completely change the course of a life.

It could be as simple as showing up on time, encouraging a friend, putting in a little extra effort in your schoolwork, or walking away from a toxic situation. Such moments might feel insignificant, but stacked over time, they are the building blocks of something powerful.

The world needs you, and I need you. In the mysterious tapestry of life that God weaves throughout the world, you have the potential to cause a positive ripple effect that could reach me, my loved ones, and generations after you for His glory.

Every day, as you seek to follow God and entrust your

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life into loving hands, know He is shaping your story. The choices you make, the habits you’re forming, the attitudes you carry, the people you choose to surround yourself with— they are all part of the process—and remember, He can make beauty from ashes.

Start by being faithful with what’s in your hands right now, whether it’s your studies, your job, your family relationships, your spiritual walk, or your personal growth.

Maybe you’re not sure what your dreams are yet.

Uncertainty can make you freeze, thinking, “If I don’t know exactly what I want, I’ll just wait until I figure it all out.” But life isn’t a waiting room. You find your purpose by moving, by trying, by discovering, by learning… even if it looks a bit

messy. Remember, the world doesn’t need perfect people; it needs real people—people willing to get their hands dirty, fail, learn, and grow. Every dream that has changed the world started as a rough draft.

The Challenge I challenge you in this moment. No more waiting. No more holding back. The world is waiting for your artistry, vision, courage, and leadership. Don’t let procrastination steal your destiny. Light that spark. And rise strong!

So, take a deep breath, look ahead, and remember—you are here for a reason. It is your time to rise, one step at a time!

The world is waiting for the purpose you carry!

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Journal

Journal your thoughts and takeaways from this chapter:

Briefly describe the kind of man you want to become in the next 5-10 years.

Based on what you’ve written so far, try to write a one-sentence mission statement for your life.

It can change over time. What’s one thing you feel called to do or become?

Here are some examples: • “I will live with courage, stand for truth, and inspire others to grow into who God created them to be.”

• “My mission is to use my talents and faith to lead by example, overcome challenges, and help others find hope and purpose.”

• “I want to stay true to my values, grow stronger every day, and make a difference in the world by serving God and those around me.”

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Chapter 6: Rising Strong

• • • • •

Activity

Walk it out.

Jungle to Jewelry to Justice Your Rising Path Future Now! Arise A Hero The Great Adventure

Choose one or more action steps:

1.

Create a personal vision board. Use images, Bible verses, quotes, and symbols that represent your goals, dreams, and the type of person you want to become.

•

2.

Identify a Bible character who rose strong in their life. How did they rise strong? Read about their life and journal about the life lessons you can take and apply to your life.

4.

Find five or more Bible verses/inspirational quotes that inspire you and help you build a strong mindset.

Pick the ones that really hit home for you. Write them down and put them somewhere you’ll see them every day—like your mirror, locker, or phone background.

3.

Find a personal growth book for your age level to read and help you to have a growth mindset.

•

A fixed mindset, on the other hand, makes you think your skills or intelligence are set in stone—like you’re either good at something or you’re not. But a growth mindset says: You’re not there yet, but you can get there if you put in the work.

A growth mindset is believing that you can get better at anything with effort, learning, and persistence. It’s about seeing challenges as opportunities to grow instead of proof that you’re not good enough. Reflect on how God wants you to look at circumstances and how you see yourself.

The struggle is real, and so is hope.

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Our journey together through these pages of Brave & Bold ends here, but this is not an ending. It is a launch. Partner closely with the Lord and take the strength you’ve built, the wisdom you’ve gained, and the unstoppable power of your voice into your future journey and adventures of life. Your good Heavenly Father has a great purpose for your life and He is your Guide and greatest Advocate, so you are never alone. Let your light guide others still in the dark. The bravery you've cultivated is now a beacon. Shine it brightly, live it loudly, and create a legacy of hope that reshapes the world for God’s glory.

Let us be Brave & Bold.

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