BOLD FAITH: VOL 3 FACILITATOR GUIDE

FACILITATOR GUIDE

GROW IN CONFIDENCE. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY.

FOR GUYS OF FAITH

DEVELOP FOUNDATION

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JOURNEY

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Journey 03: Facilitator Guide 3

BRAVE & BOLD Copyright © 2025-2026 Releasing Generations Published by Releasing Generations Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

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Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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Scripture taken from the Holy Scriptures, Tree of Life Version*. Copyright © 2014,2016 by the Tree of Life Bible Society. Used by permission of the Tree of Life Bible Society.

Scripture quotations marked (NIrV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Reader’s Version®, NIrV® Copyright © 1995, 1996, 1998, 2014 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIrV” and “New International Reader’s Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™ Art Direction and Graphic Design by: Ahava Design, LLC. Photos by Unsplash and iStock.

TheBraveSeries.com Through The Brave Series, we are on a mission to help youth and adults of all ages overcome insecurities about their value and purpose. The Brave Series empowers teens and adults to:

The Brave Series is a publication of Explicit Movement, one of three facets of the Releasing Generations organization. You can learn more about Explicit Movement at Explicitmovement.org

• Grow in confidence and emotional health.

Our leadership team has decades of combined experience working with, serving, and supporting teens, young adults, parents, community leaders, and church leaders within many denominations locally and globally.

• Gain wisdom and vision for their future, enabling them to step into their purpose and pursue their dreams.

• Become aware and equipped to safeguard themselves and others from exploitation and sex trafficking victimization.

You are not alone in your struggles.

Learn more at TheBraveSeries.com or visit us at ReleasingGenerations.org

Brave & Bold Volume 03 (Faith) Facilitator Guide – 02/2026

Welcome to the Brave & Bold journey!

Thank you so much for taking the time to invest in your teen boys and in your relationship with them! Whether you go through this journey with just one teen or a group of teens, you will find this to be a transformational experience for all involved.

The articles will also be relevant to your personal growth.

Each chapter provides discussion questions and optional activities for you to use as a springboard. Organic discussion quesitons can also be asked after each article as an option. You can pick and choose which optional questions you would like to use and create your own. God may inspire you with wonderful, spontaneous questions as the discussion flows.

The activities provided for each chapter are also optional. As a teacher or parent, we encourage you to be creative and do other activities as you are are inspired by the Lord, as time permits! The lessons are typically geared for small groups, so please adjust the activity if you are doing a 1:1 mentorship.

Enjoy your journey!

BRAVE & BOLD FACILITATOR GUIDE

Table of Contents

Journey 03 Develop Foundation

WELCOME .............................................. 05 IMPORTANT REMINDERS . . ........................ 08 FAQs .. .................................................... 08 EMPATHETIC RESPONSES .......................... ..........................11 THE BRAVE & BOLD CULMINATING. . ............ 12 CELEBRATION EVENT RIGHT OF PASSAGE EVENT FOR SONS ........ 13 OVERVIEW .............................................. 14 4-Volume Journey CHAPTER 1: BUILDING YOUR CORE ............. 16 Establishing Character CHAPTER 2: VALUES TO LIVE BY . . .............. 22 Embracing Key Values for Success CHAPTER 3: LEADERSHIP . . ....................... 26 Becoming an Effective Leader CHAPTER 4: FRIENDSHIP ......................... 30 Building Healthy Friendships CHAPTER 5: GUYS AND GIRLS................... 36 Honoring Girls and Women CHAPTER 6: HE PROTECTS ....................... 42 Guarding, Defending, and Supporting Others

BEFORE YOU BEGIN:

FAQ WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS GUIDE?

• Be positive, affirming, and encouraging to your teens whenever possible!

• Be mindful NOT to dominate the conversation. Make it a point to listen more than you talk.

• Express gratitude when teens share good points.

• Make the discussion times as enjoyable and meaningful as possible so you look forward to your time together.

• Thank teens when they take a risk and share vulnerably with you.

• Remember, the discussions can be serious at times, and there may be unexpected expressions of raw emotion, but laughing together also strengthens the bond between you and your teens.

This is a powerful tool to mentor teen boys in life and leadership! The meaningful discussion and activity times after each chapter can strengthen your emotional connection with them, heart-to-heart.

Verbally processing the content with someone as mature as you will help teen boys to digest the material and have a deeper learning experience. Going through the material with someone also ensures they will complete the Brave & Bold Journey through Volume 4. Volume 4 has vital information that could help protect their lives from dangerous situations!

WHO SHOULD GO THROUGH THIS WITH A TEEN BOY?

IMPORTANT REMINDERS

Because Brave & Bold is for teen boys and the articles are mostly male perspectives covering issues especially relatable to men, it is more natural and comfortable for a dad or male teacher to go through the material with them. However, we do understand that in some cases, a mother or female teacher may want or need to go through this with their teens, which is fine.

IMPORTANT: THIS IS NOT A TIME TO GIVE ‘LECTURES’ OR GIVE ADVICE (UNLESS THE TEEN BOY ASKS FOR ADVICE).

We hope and pray that going through Brave & Bold together with your teen or group of teens will be a positive, enjoyable experience for everyone! As a teacher, parent, or mentor, you want to create a safe place where each teen boy can freely open up and share his thoughts and feelings.

*Going through this with a group of teen boys can also add beneficial and enriching perspectives to the discussions.

WHAT DO YOU DO IF A TEEN BOY SHARES SOMETHING SHOCKING, DISTURBING, OR UPSETTING TO YOU?

• This is not a time when your teens passively listen to your advice or teachings.

• This is not a time to quickly ‘correct’ the teens’ lines of thinking.

• Do not try to force your teens to agree with your perspectives.

• Seek to understand your teens first before seeking to be understood. However, in the discussions, there will be opportunities to pass along your wisdom naturally as you share your thoughts and life experiences.

Because the topics and discussion questions encourage vulnerability, your teens may muster the courage within themselves to share something that may shock, disturb, or upset you.

Prepare yourself now, so if this happens, you are ready to respond with compassion, understanding, and grace using self-control and NOT react in anger or shock. If you react in anger or shock, this will probably cause teen boys not to want to open up going forward. You want to do your best to create a safe place for teens to share.

If students feel that you really care about what they have to say, they will appreciate being heard. If you listen to them without negatively judging them, they will typically want to share things with you—which is the goal!

As a teacher or parent, it can be so easy to react in anger or shock when your teen shares something upsetting. The tendency

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can be to want to control the situation. You can be real and raw in your thoughts and feelings with God privately or with a trusted friend at a later time, but NOT in that moment with your teen. If you can stay calm and seek to understand, this will help build emotional connection.

Refer to the article following this introduction entitled Empathetic Responses That Promote Connection. Respond with kindness, gentleness, love, and empathy—not judgment. Pray silently and ask the Lord to give you the strength to keep a straight face and listen. Know that it took courage for your teen to share what he did. Affirm your teens and thank them for sharing vulnerably.

BECAUSE YOU WILL BE SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS AND LIFE EXPERIENCES IN THE DISCUSSIONS, HOW VULNERABLE SHOULD YOU BE WITH YOUR TEEN?

you cover a number of chapters within your retreat time that is reasonable for your students.

Creating a heart connection with your teens involves sharing some of your life experiences with them. You will create an atmosphere of vulnerability when you share stories from your life—your struggles, failures, and what you learned from them as they relate to the subject being discussed. It is so valuable for your teen to learn more about your story!

The discussion times could be anywhere from 30 to 60+ minutes depending on your available time. If the conversation goes longer than usual and you need to end it due to your schedule, you can always continue the conversation at your next meeting. *NOTE: If a teen is going through a particular struggle in the present, you can opt to skip ahead to a later chapter that addresses what he is currently going through. For example, if a close relative of a teen passed away, you could decide to skip ahead and go through the chapter on grieving in Volume 2. You can skip ahead to what is most relevant, then return back to the order we have laid out for the journey. Although the chapters are ordered to build upon each other, feel free to skip around to the most relevant chapters that will best serve your teen boy(s).

Ask the Lord for direction on what you can share as you prepare for the discussion. Letting your teens know that you are not perfect, made wrong choices, and experienced pain in your life will build that heart connection. The teen boys may particularly appreciate you sharing stories from your teen years.

WHAT IS A RECOMMENDED READING PLAN? There can be creative versatility in your reading plan depending on what works best for you in your context. Please check out thebraveseries.com website for more ideas and reach out to Michele and her team to create a tailored plan for your needs and schedule a meeting. We want to support you in whatever way we can.

THIS PUBLICATION IS FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL AND HIGH SCHOOL BOYS. CAN A YOUNGER BOY GO THROUGH THIS? Because the first three volumes focus on growing a boy’s confidence and character and knowing his identity, you could easily go over Volumes 1-3 with younger boys using your judgment.

The chapters are fairly short and can easily be read in a short amount of time.

The older a boy is, the more mature he is, and the more he will have a deeper grasp of the lessons.

You may choose to go through a chapter per week or cover one or two chapters every two weeks. If you are in a retreat setting,

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Volume 4 covers the heavier subjects of sex abuse, sex trafficking, and pornography, which may not be as age-appropriate for younger boys (you may decide to pick and choose articles from Volume 4). However, as a teacher or parent, you can use your judgment since you want younger boys to be aware of online predators and the pornography issue, especially as some research has found that the average age of first exposure is around nine years old. You know your child best and can decide.

CAN A YOUNG ADULT MAN OR OLDER MAN BENEFIT FROM GOING THROUGH THIS BRAVE & BOLD JOURNEY? Although the target group for this publication is middle school and high school teen boys, we have found that this journey also speaks to men of all ages. Men will find quality content in the articles that support their personal growth! In Volume 4, the valuable information about pornography, sex abuse, sex trafficking, and other topics covered can be gleaned and passed on to young people through men who have gone through this Brave & Bold experience!

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM ASKING TO READ YOUR TEENS’ PRIVATE THOUGHTS THAT THEY SHARED ON THEIR JOURNAL PAGES. We strongly urge teachers and parents to honor each teen’s privacy regarding the interactive pages he filled out—unless he willingly wants to share his writings or art with you. We want every teen boy to be honest and vulnerable in his reflections and journaling. Knowing that others will be reading his private journaling without permission would greatly hinder the effectiveness of his experience.

BRAVE & BOLD SHOULD BE KEPT AND REFERRED TO EVEN IN YOUNG ADULT YEARS! We envision that the teen boys will keep Brave & Bold for decades to come as a manual for life and leadership, a tool, and a reference guide. Sex trafficking also happens during the young adult years and in colleges. We pray this will be a resource the readers will repeatedly refer to.

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EMPATHETIC RESPONSES THAT PROMOTE CONNECTION

By Vicky Wong, MSCP, LMFT, LMHC, NCC, and Michele Okimura It is not always easy to know what to say when someone tells you something very personal. There is power in words. Careless words keep people isolated and silent for years. Supportive words bring healing, restoration, and courage to discuss their burdens or experiences. Here are some tips on what to say vs what not to say when someone shares vulnerably.

After someone shares something vulnerable, it can be hurtful not to say anything, quickly change the subject, or make a joke/ comment to lighten the mood. When appropriate, a hand on the shoulder, a hand squeeze, or a hug can also communicate comfort and empathy. *Do not start immediately sharing your similar experience. This time is not about you. It is about listening to them. Giving advice and encouraging words comes later after they feel validated and heard. Be sensitive to when you feel they are ready for further input.

Vulnerability + Empathy = Breaks Shame.

WHAT NOT TO SAY: ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶

▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶

You just need to let go and move on.

Other people have it worse than you.

You’re making too much of a big deal of this.

You just need to trust God and pray harder.

Are you just trying to get attention?

I can’t believe this really happened.

Tell me every detail and don’t leave anything out.

How come you just can’t forgive?

You are sinning if you just can’t forgive and forget!

Did you enjoy it? (referring to abuse) What are you going to do about it now?

At least…(minimizing issue)

WHAT TO SAY: ▶ It sounds like you are really feeling (angry, sad, excited, shocked, etc.) by what happened. ▶ I don’t know exactly what to say right now except that I’m here for you. ▶ I’m so sorry that happened to you. ▶ This must be so tough for you. ▶ You are very brave and courageous to talk about what happened. ▶ It took a lot of courage to talk about this, and I’m proud of you. ▶ I am here to help you through your sadness.

▶ We will walk through this together. ▶ I care about you. I am here to listen to you and help you in any way. ▶ I am so glad you are sharing this with me. ▶ You are not alone. ▶ I believe in you! ▶ I’m so sorry that awful thing happened to you.

You didn’t deserve this (abuse, hurtful situation) ▶ You are not to blame. This is not your fault. (if they were a victim of abuse) ▶ Healing is possible. You can be whole again.

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THE BRAVE & BOLD CULMINATING CELEBRATION EVENT This is an optional event that celebrates the completion of Brave & Bold, marking a milestone with gratitude and reflection. This can be a significant and special defining moment to launch the students into their futures. It could be held at a facility, a park, or a beach and include an activity like hiking, swimming, fishing, or zip-lining.

You can keep this event to include just you and the students; however, consider inviting parents to it. You can also have the students invite their father or father figure to it. Another option is to have students invite up to two mentors of their choice, which could include parents.

Prepare a simple program for the event. Please use the following options as a springboard to tailor the event.

• One of each student’s guests would be asked to prepare in advance and read a short letter of affirmation to the student in front of the audience after the student shared their reflections.

• As part of the program, have each student prepare a short speech they can read to the audience that can include reflections on the following questions:

• As the facilitator of the journey, share your reflections and affirmations.

▶ Self-Awareness: In what ways have you grown to view yourself differently/more positively? ▶ Testimony: How did this journey impact you? Share 1-2 ways you were changed by the Brave & Bold Journey. How have you grown? ▶ Regarding Connecting the Dots articles in Journey 4: Share one or more big takeaways after going through the articles on pornography, sex abuse, and sex trafficking.

What new perspectives have you gained? ▶ Being Brave and Bold: In what ways has God encouraged you to be brave and bold through this journey?

• Celebrate around a meal and/or provide food or snack refreshments following the formal program.

• Depending on your time allotment, invite a guest speaker who can inspire, encourage, and affirm the students.

• Consider gifting the students the Dream Big Journal: Keys to Unlock your Dreams, a companion resource for their next steps found at MicheleOkimura.com, or consider going through the Dream Big Journal curriculum as a follow-up.

NOTE: With your students’ permission, please send their letters or a summary of their reflections, along with your feedback and/or endorsement, to info@thebraveseries. com. Thank you! We look forward to hearing from you and your students.

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FOR PARENTS: A RIGHT OF PASSAGE EVENT FOR YOUR TEEN SON We have added this activity that can be meaningful for your son/ spiritual son. We wanted to mention this idea to you now so you can envision the possibilities as you feel led—be creative!

This celebration event can help him to grow in confidence, know his value, and embrace his true identity!

gift that expresses what they appreciate about your son, how they believe God sees him, and/or how they see him. They are to attach a positive meaning to the item they gift to him, which they will share at the event. Encourage them to be creative!

Plan the details of the party using your creativity to make it special and memorable!

Be innovative and simply use this activity as a springboard to tailor it to how you want to bless your teen. Here are a few milestone ages that this activity can be applied to:

AT THE EVENT Sometime during the event, have a time when each of the invited guests presents their letter and gift to your teen son.

Each guest is to read his letter, give his wrapped gift to him (have your son open the gift), and explain the meaning behind the gift they gave. It is always special to have a time of prayer for the guest of honor to seal the formal time! Taking photos during the event, including a final group shot, is also special.

• In the Jewish culture, when a boy turns 12 or 13, a Bar Mitzvah celebration takes place as a coming-ofage ceremony into adulthood.

• When a boy graduates high school, this can also be a year to celebrate with this activity since he will be moving on to college, higher education, trade school, or the workforce.

AFTER THE EVENT

This event could be a gathering at home or part of an actionfilled day, such as hiking on a mountain trail or swimming at a beach. Consider incorporating your son’s favorite activity.

Collect the letters written to your son. You could place them into an album or a large envelope with any photos from the event.

WHO TO INVITE? You could invite a few or many men who are especially close to your teen son. They could be family members, spiritual fathers, or mentors. You can choose to involve your teen son in deciding who to invite to this event. This will be a powerful time of men affirming and loving on your teen son, welcoming him into the season of becoming a young man!

PREPARATION Ahead of time, ask the men invited to write a one-page (or so) letter to your teen son, expressing their love and sharing their wisdom as he enters a new season of his life. They can include a prayer and their hopes for him. Inform them that they will be reading their letter to him as part of the program at the event. Their letters could later be put into an album for your teen son to keep. Ask the invited guests to bring a symbolic

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The Brave & Bold Journey 4-Volume Book Overview

Journey 01

Journey 02

HE IS BRAVE & BOLD Defining What is Brave & Bold

LET IT GO The Value of Forgiveness

KNOW YOURSELF Becoming Self-Aware

GOOD GRIEF Dealing with Losses in Life

STAND FIRM Being Secure and Confident

UNRAVELLING EMOTIONS Navigating Anger, Fear, and Anxiety

CONNECTING WITH GOD Growing in Relationship with God

STAY THE COURSE Persevering Through Hardships

YOUR DESIGN Discovering Your Uniqueness

PARENTS AND YOU Exploring the Impact of Parents

BORN TO CREATE Activating Your Creativity

FORGED IN COMMUNITY The Value of Belonging to a Community

Discover Purpose

Dig Deeper

FREEDOM TO DREAM Dreaming Big for Your Life

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Journey 03

Journey 04

BUILDING YOUR CORE.................. .................. 10 Establishing Character

PORNOGRAPHY The Negative Effects of Pornography

VALUES TO LIVE BY...................... ...................... 24 Embracing Key Values for Success

OVERCOMING TRAUMA Understanding Trauma

LEADERSHIP............................... 42 LEADERSHIP...............................

Becoming an Effective Leader

SEXUAL VIOLENCE Addressing Sexual Violence

FRIENDSHIP. . .............................. 56 FRIENDSHIP. Building Healthy Friendships

SEX TRAFFICKING Protect Yourself and Others from Victimization

GUYS AND GIRLS.........................

GIRLS......................... 72 Honoring Girls and Women

THE BROTHERHOOD The Value of Men Arising

HE PROTECTS.. ............................ 82 Guarding, Defending, and Supporting Others

RISING STRONG Onward with Vision and Purpose

Develop Foundation

Daring Pursuit

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BUILDING YOUR CORE CHAPTER 01 • PAGES 10 - 23

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Establishing Character • What is a takeaway you had from this chapter?

• The article on faithfulness explained that some of the most important things you will do will never be seen by anyone. Why would anyone choose to do the hard thing in private when it doesn’t seem to benefit them right away?

• The article connects the concept of faithfulness to our relationships (e.g., being a dependable friend). Being a faithful friend can earn you a positive reputation. What does having a solid reputation mean to you guys today?

Where have you seen these two things—being popular vs. being dependable—clash in your own life or at school?

• Think about the most difficult responsibility currently on your plate (a tough class, a commitment, etc.). In that situation, are you acting like a cow (running away) or a buffalo (facing it head-on)? What small, immediate step could you take to sprint toward that storm?

• What are some things you lose out on when you run from what you know you should be doing?

• Can a person handle authority and power well without integrity? Why do you think that is true? Can you name someone who had a lot of power but lost it because they lacked integrity, and what happened when they fell?

• Think about a time you were dishonest. Did avoiding the truth actually make you feel more secure or more stressed/anxious? Why or why not?

• This chapter brought up that King Solomon was the most successful man who realized his success was “meaningless—like chasing the wind.” If you could ask ‘Young Solomon’ one question about his priorities right before he went on his quest for all the money and women, what would that question be?”

ACTIVITIES

Stop The Spin: Excuses vs. Ownership Materials Needed: • Bibles for each student • video clip from the Spiderman movie about responsibility. (2:22): [TopMovieClips]. (2022, January 30). “With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility” Scene - Spider-Man (2002) Movie CLIP HD [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/guuYU74wU70?si=ZI7oqkFPkE3u_RCQ

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Instructions: 1. Introduce the activity by sharing, “We’re going to talk about what it means to be responsible. It’s simple: a responsible man doesn’t make excuses. When he messes up, he doesn’t throw a teammate, a parent, or a teacher under the bus. He owns the mistake, and then he fixes it.”

2. Share, “Imagine you totally forgot your homework. It’s a huge assignment. The teacher asks you, “Where is your paper?”

Before your brain even kicks in, what is the very first thing that pops out of your mouth? ▶ Is it, “My printer ran out of ink, and my dad wasn’t home to fix it?” ▶ Is it, “It’s in my locker, but the kid next to me bumped my bag, and I can’t get to it right now?” ▶ Is it something else?

Let’s hear some of those first-thought responses.”

3. Allow the teens to respond and share their initial, defensive reactions.

4. Discuss the difference between an excuse and a reason. (The main difference is that a reason is an explanation for an event while accepting responsibility for the outcome, often accompanied by a plan for the future. An excuse is an attempt to avoid blame by shifting responsibility to external factors, and it usually lacks a plan for how to do better next time.)

5. Discuss ways to ditch excuses and give clear, honest reasons—and what to do next.

6. Discuss the difference between a person who runs from a problem and a person who steps up to solve it. Discuss how even if you have a good reason, it doesn’t mean that you won’t have to experience consequences or correct your mistake. When we make a mistake, a responsible person tries to make it right!

7. Have the teens break into pairs. Have them study Exodus 3:11-4:17 in their Bibles, identify and write down the five excuses/objections Moses gave God to avoid doing what God was asking him to do.

A summary of Moses’ 5 excuses: ▶ Moses questions his own identity, value, and abilities. God responds, “I will be with you.” ▶ Moses asks God for the name to tell the Israelites, but questions how they will believe him. God reveals His name as “I AM WHO I AM”. ▶ “They won’t believe me.” Moses fears the Israelites will not listen to him. God gives him his staff to display miracles to prove His power. ▶ Moses complains that he is not a good communicator or good with words. God replies, “Who has made man’s mouth?... Is it not I, the Lord?” and promises to help him speak. ▶ Moses asks God to send someone else. Although God was frustrated with Moses, He appointed Moses’ brother, Aaron, to speak on Moses’ behalf.

8. Discuss any takeaways regarding Moses. Ask, “What do you think are some of the reasons WHY people make excuses - even to God? 9. What is something you learned about God from this passage?

Continued

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10. Have the group look up Luke 12:48 and discuss what they think the main message is. How can we apply this?

11. Play the clip from Spiderman. Discuss how God gives us all a great purpose to fulfill and a great, unique calling.

Therefore, God calls us to grow in taking responsibility for what is ours to take.

Living The Life of Real Deal Integrity Materials Needed: • Bible for every teen • a Jenga tower (or any similar stacking-block game) • a set of “Scenario Cards” (see examples below) ▶ Your best friend, who is failing, asks to copy your answers on the biology final. What do you do? ▶ You’re in a group chat, and someone starts teasing a kid from your school. They’re saying mean, untrue things. What do you do? ▶ You’re buying snacks, and the cashier gives you $5 too much in change. They’ve already turned to the next customer. What do you do? ▶ Your parents told you to be home by 11 PM. It’s 10:55, and you’re still at your friend’s house, 15 minutes away. What do you do? ▶ You find a smartphone on the floor in the school hallway. No one is around. What do you do? ▶ A “friend” texts you an inappropriate picture of someone from your school and says, “Don’t share this.” What do you do? ▶ When driving, you barely tapped someone’s bumper in the parking lot, but no one saw. You look, and there’s a tiny dent. What do you do?

Instructions: 1. Start with this question: “Be honest, how many of you have ever taken like... 20 selfies just to get the one perfect one to post? Or have you ever posted something that makes your life look way more exciting than it actually was in that moment?”

(Let them share and laugh about it.)

2. Say something along the lines of: “It’s normal, right? We all want to show the ‘best version’ of ourselves. We put filters on our photos, we carefully pick what we share... It’s all about managing our image. But what happens when our whole life becomes a filter? What happens when the person people see at school is totally different from the person who’s alone in their room, scrolling their phone, or hanging with friends at school? Let’s talk about a huge word: integrity.”

3. Explain how a lot of people think integrity just means ‘not lying’ or ‘not cheating.’ But it’s so much more. Integrity is your character when no one is watching. It’s when the ‘you’ on the inside matches the ‘you’ on the outside.

There’s no filter.

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4. Introduce the Bible activity by saying, “So, why is this so important to God? Let’s look at what the Bible says.”

Have the teens take out their Bibles. ▶ Let’s look at Proverbs 10:9, NIV, which states: “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.” What does ‘walks securely’ mean to you? (Let them answer). Explain that it’s that feeling of not having to look over your shoulder. It’s peace. It’s not being stressed about whether someone is going to find out what you said or did. You’re not trying to remember which lie you told to which person. You’re just... you. You’re stable. ▶ But look at the flip side: ‘...whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.’ It’s a promise. Living a two-faced life is stressful, and it always comes to light. ▶ Second, let’s look at our ‘why.’ 1 Chronicles 29:17 NIV says, “I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity.”

Explain that this is key. God isn’t just looking at what we do; he’s looking at why we do it. He tests our hearts. Are we doing the right thing just to impress people or to avoid getting in trouble? Or are we doing it simply because we love God and it’s the right, honorable thing to do?

Discuss how Integrity is an issue of the heart. God is looking for a heart that wants to honor him, not a heart that just wants to look good.”

5. You can discuss the following questions in the large group, or have the youth discuss them in small groups. You can verbally share the questions one at a time over a 10-15-minute period as they meet in small groups. These questions can help them apply the concepts to real life: ▶ What’s the difference between “reputation” (what people think you are) and “integrity” (what you really are)?

Why do we get them mixed up? ▶ An integrity check is often described as who you are when “no one is watching.” What is a “no one is watching” situation that you face every week? (Examples: the way you talk in a group chat, the test you could cheat on, the gossip you could join, the website you could click on). ▶ Proverbs 10:9 says walking in integrity makes you “walk securely.” What’s the opposite feel like? (Anxiety, stress, fear, being a fraud). Why is “walking securely” a better way to live? ▶ Why do you do something? Why is your motive just as important as what you do? Can you give an example of doing the “right thing” for the “wrong reason”? ▶ How does living with integrity (or not) affect your relationship with God? How does it affect how your friends see God through you?

6. The Group Activity: “Integrity Tower” (15-20 minutes). You will facilitate a high-energy, visual activity that shows how small compromises can destabilize our lives.

7. Set up the Jenga tower in the middle of the room. You can have one big group or split into 2-3 teams around different towers.

8. Explain the rules: “This tower represents your life, your character, your ‘secure walk.’ We’re going to see how stable it is.”

Continued

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9. Have a student draw a “Scenario Card” and read it aloud to the group.

After reading the scenario, the student must state two possible responses: ▶ The “Crooked Path”: (The student shares the response to that situation that is the easy way out, a choice without integrity.) ▶ The “Integrity Path”: The student shares a response to that situation that is a hard but right choice, with integrity.

After they answer, they must pull one block from the Jenga tower and place it on top.

Go to the next person, read a new card, and have them pull a block.

Continue these instructions until the tower gets wobbly and crashes.

10. When it crashes, pause the game and say something like: “That’s exactly what happens in our lives. A small compromise here (pulling a block), a ‘little’ white lie there (pulling another block). You can get away with it for a while. Your life might even look ‘taller.’ But you’re pulling blocks from your foundation. You’re becoming unstable. And eventually, all it takes is one more little thing, one more bit of pressure, and the whole thing comes crashing down.”

11. Discuss how living with integrity means building your life on a solid foundation. It might not look as ‘tall’ or ‘exciting’ as the person taking shortcuts, but it will not fall.”

12. Note how living with integrity is not about being perfect. We all make mistakes or wrong choices at times. The awesome part is that we have a God who forgives and gives us the power to change. But it starts with a choice.

13. Final challenge: Here’s this week’s challenge: Have the teens pick one area of their lives where they’ve been living with a ‘filter.’ One place where you’ve been ‘pulling a block’ from your tower. ▶ Maybe it’s gossip. ▶ Maybe it’s the language you use when your parents aren’t around. ▶ Maybe it’s the little ‘white lies’ you tell. ▶ Maybe it’s your screen time or what you look at online.

Have them just pick one. Their challenge is to be 100% ‘all in’ on integrity in that one area. Remind the teens that when they are tempted, they can recall Proverbs 10:9, NIV: “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.”

14. Close with a time of prayer.

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NOTES

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VALUES TO LIVE BY CHAPTER 02 • PAGES 24 - 41

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Embracing Key Values for Success • What is a takeaway you had from this chapter?

• When is it hardest for you to be “teachable” or admit you don’t know something? Is it with a coach, a parent, a teacher, or your friends? What makes it so tough to drop the “I got this” attitude and ask for help?

• We’re often told to look strong and act like we know it all. When have you seen the opposite work? When has someone (or maybe even you) been humble, admitted they messed up or needed to learn, and it actually earned them more respect in the long run?

• Think about a time you failed something (a sport, a class, a game, etc.). What’s the difference between a “fixed” reaction (“I’m just bad at this,” blaming someone else, or quitting) and a “growth” reaction (“What do I need to learn?” or “I’ll get it next time”)? How did you respond? How would you respond differently if you applied a growth mindset?

• Can you think of a “bad” or “ugly” situation in your life—like getting benched, failing a test, or getting called out—that you can now look back on and actually be grateful for what it taught you? What are some reasons to be grateful as you reflect?

• What’s one “failure” you’re holding onto right now? How could you reframe it as a “learning level” instead of a “game over” attitude?

• Who is easier to be around: the guy who’s always grateful, or the guy who’s always complaining about what he doesn’t have? Why is gratitude something that makes you a better teammate or friend?

• Think about a time you really didn’t want to help someone (like volunteering, doing a chore, or helping a sibling), but you did it anyway. Did you end up feeling “uplifted” or “refreshed” like the article says, or did you just feel annoyed? Why do you think that is?

• When you graduate high school, what would you rather your friends, teachers, and coaches remember you for: the stuff you had or the impact you had (the way you treated people, helped out, or gave your time)? Why? Name one thing you would want them to say about you.

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ACTIVITIES

Appreciation Notes Materials Needed: • pencils • stationary for each participant • (optional) peaceful instrumental worship music • (optional) music player/speaker

Instructions: 1. Have participants write a letter of appreciation/affirmation to anyone of their choice. Encourage them to express their appreciation to this person. Music can be played while the guys are writing.

2. Another option is to have participants write a letter of affirmation to themselves. Ask them to consider all the gifts God has blessed them with that they love and appreciate about themselves, and how they could use these gifts to share God’s love with others.

3. If participants are somewhat well acquainted with one another, ask them to share what they appreciate about each member of the group, taking turns so that every person has the opportunity to receive words of affirmation and appreciation.

Radical Generosity Materials Needed: • Look up ‘Acts of Generosity’ or ‘Big Tips for Servers’ on YouTube and find a great clip of generosity in action that you can show in your group meeting. There are some very moving clips of customers giving waiters or waitresses huge tips.

• the movie, The Ultimate Gift

Instructions: 1.

Discuss how generosity is not necessarily about the amount given, but it’s about attitude. For example, someone who has very little but gives much of what they have can be considered very generous.

2.

Discuss how we might imagine that IF we had MORE money, then we could be more generous. If you are not generous with a little, you probably won’t be generous with a lot. Generosity is a heart issue.

3.

As a leader, give examples of generosity you have experienced in your life.

4.

Watch the YouTube video(s) you prepared on radical generosity, then discuss the takeaways.

5.

Watch the movie The Ultimate Gift and discuss the takeaways.

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Holiday Generosity Materials Needed: • Make a list of materials needed based on the holiday gifts or project the group decided on.

The project can be as small and simple as the group decides, or as large as they decide. The ability to commit their time is a determining factor in how big or small to go. (Examples: You can coordinate Samaritan’s Purse Shoe Box Gift Giving for Christmas, such as Operation Christmas Child, or make Valentine gifts for the patients in a local elderly care home, etc.)

Instructions: 1. As a group, plan and implement a holiday project that demonstrates generosity with a holiday theme. The teens could also work in pairs to complete certain tasks. Be creative and innovative!

2. Debrief the experience after the project is completed.

The “Wisdom Soak” Interview Materials Needed: • a guest “Mentor” (This could be a local coach, a business owner, or an older student the guys respect. It should be someone who exemplifies a growth mindset and has experience overcoming challenges with it. Prep the guest for the interview by explaining that they will share how they have applied a growth mindset and how it has helped them in life. Encourage them to share examples from their life on how they learned and grew in their perspectives.)

• whiteboard or chart paper, marker • the list of some practical ways to develop a growth mindset from the article (list on a chart paper or whiteboard): ▶ Replace negative thinking with a positive perspective ▶ Ask Questions and listen more than you speak ▶ Surround Yourself with Growth-Minded People ▶ Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

Instructions: 1. Before the guest arrives, have the guys reread the story of Itsuko, the 70-year-old learner, Itsuko, in the “Cultivating a Growth Mindset” article. Discuss why staying open to learning is a trait of successful people.

Explain that interviewing someone who applies a growth mindset to their life can be a valuable mentoring experience, even in a single interview.

2. Bring in the guest. Have the guest share a brief overview of their life’s milestones.

The guys must ask questions about what they are curious about, such as questions on how the person achieved success or is living their purpose.

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3. Each guy must ask at least one question designed to find the “valuable gold” in the mentor’s journey to success, including insights gained from hard times. (e.g., “What’s a lesson you learned the hard way that I can avoid?”)

4. Have the mentor share their thoughts on having a growth mindset.

5. Ask the guest to comment on some of the ways to cultivate a growth mindset, as listed on the whiteboard or chart paper, if they did not address them during the discussion. Refer to the list prepared on the whiteboard or chart paper.

6. Application: Afterwards, have each person in the group identify one area of their life where they can be “brave enough” to ask for help, or shift their attitude toward a growth mindset.

NOTES

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LEADERSHIP

CHAPTER 03 • PAGES 42 - 55

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Becoming an Effective Leader • What is a takeaway you had from this chapter?

• Leadership is influence, not a title. Who is someone in your life who has no official power or title over you, but you’d still follow or listen to? What do they do (not just say) that earns your respect and gives them influence?

• Mark 9:35, NLT says “...Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” This is the total opposite of the “me first” or “look out for #1” attitude we see everywhere. When is it the hardest for you to have a servant’s attitude (e.g., at home with your family, at school, or when you’re competing in sports)? What would it actually look like to “take last place” in that situation?

• Serving is often “inconvenient and requires sacrifice.” It’s easy to talk about serving, but it’s hard to do. What’s one “inconvenient” way you could serve someone this week where no one else would even notice? (For example, at home with your family, at school, or on your team). What stops you from doing that more often?

• When is it hardest for you to “respect the position” of an authority figure (a parent, teacher, or coach) when you think the person in that position is making a bad call, being unfair, or just doesn’t get it? Why? • In your world (on teams, at school, or even online), what’s the difference between a leader who is tough but fair (like a coach who pushes you to be better) and a leader who is just a bully (who tears you down)? Why is it so hard for people to speak up when they see a leader acting like a bully?

• Think about your friends or teammates. What’s it like to be around someone who is always trying to be “interesting”—the guy who has to one-up every story? Now, what’s it like to be around someone who is genuinely “interested”—the guy who asks you questions and actually listens? Who do you actually trust and respect more in the long run?

• On your team or in your friend group, who is the person who has the “no-glory” job? (Like the offensive lineman who only blocks, the guy who always sets up the chairs, or the quiet kid in the group who just does the research).

Why is it so easy for us to praise the “star” (the quarterback, the singer) and so hard to actually value and celebrate the person doing the essential, unseen work?

ACTIVITIES

The Captain and The Towel Materials Needed: • Bibles for each teen • (optional) a dirty towel or a trash bag (as a visual prop)

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Instructions: 1. (optional) As an attention-getter, ask for a volunteer to come to the front and sit in a provided chair. Explain that you will wash his feet and proceed to do so.

2. Start by asking: “What is the absolute worst, most disgusting chore at your house?” (Cleaning the bathroom, taking out the leaky trash, picking up dog poop, etc.). We all avoid the “gross jobs.” In Jesus’s time, one of the grossest jobs was foot washing. People wore open-toed sandals on dirt roads filled with dust, mud, and animal manure. It was a job reserved for the lowest-ranking servant.”

3. Instruct the teens to read John 13:1-17. Note that Jesus—the King, the Teacher, the guy they just saw raise people from the dead—gets up from dinner, grabs a towel, gets on his hands and knees, and starts washing 12 pairs of disgusting, nasty feet.

4. Highlight that Peter even freaks out (v. 8): “No, you will never wash my feet!” He’s basically saying, “This is beneath you. The ‘leader’ isn’t supposed to do the ‘gross job’.”

5. Jesus’s reply is the whole point (v. 14-15): “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”

6. Discuss how a servant leader isn’t too good for any job. The world tells you that leadership means getting other people to do the dirty work for you. Jesus shows you that Christian leadership means being the first to do the dirty work for others. He didn’t just wash the feet of his friends; he washed the feet of Judas, the guy he knew was about to betray him.

7. Discuss: ▶ If you were Peter, what would your gut reaction be to Jesus trying to wash your feet? Why is it so uncomfortable to let someone we respect “serve” us like that? ▶ What’s the “foot washing” job in your life right now? (The “gross job” at home, the “no-glory” task on your team, or the person in your friend group everyone avoids). ▶ What’s one “towel” moment you could have this week—one act of service you can do for someone (especially at home) that gets you zero credit and is completely “beneath” you?

8. Close in Prayer

Assembling The Team: Mission Over Ego Materials Needed: • Bible for each teen • (optional) the first Avengers movie • (optional) video clip from Apollo 13, (4:27):[Boxoffice Movie Scenes]. (2024, June 11). A Square peg in a round hole “Failure is not an option” | Apollo 13 | CLIP [Video]. YouTube. https:// youtu.be/ MYWxkDapMt0?si=0b1ZQo99Vnmnb7Iw • (optional) video clip, ending scene of Apollo 13, (8:32): [Binge Society - Action]. (2025, February 15). Apollo 13: Re-Entering The World’s Atmosphere [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu. be/t90BTYDg8Js?si=sJfmh6tBhKFL6Cv3

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Instructions: 1.

Introduce this lesson on teamwork by having the teens think about The Avengers. Explain how there was a self-obsessed billionaire (Iron Man), a straight-laced super-soldier from the 40s (Cap), a literal god (Thor), and a green rage monster (Hulk). They are nothing alike. In Avengers 1, they spend more time fighting each other than the actual enemy. Their egos get in the way. It’s only when they unite for a single mission—to stop their enemy—that they become a team.

2.

Have the teens look up Nehemiah 4. Introduce the story where Nehemiah had a “dream” to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem. The city was in ruins, and their enemies were laughing at them and threatening to attack. They were terrified. So what did Nehemiah do? He gave them a mission.

3.

Have the teens silently read Nehemiah 4, or have someone read it aloud.

4.

Highlight Nehemiah 4:16-18. Share how each of the builders wore his sword at his side as he worked.”

5.

Have teens read Ephesians 4:3 about making an effort to keep unity of mind and heart through the bond of peace.

6.

Discuss how unity doesn’t mean uniformity. It doesn’t mean we’re all identical. It means we are united for a single purpose. Our team (this youth group, our families) has a mission from God. But just like the Avengers, our egos, our preferences, and our drama get in the way. We start fighting each other instead of the real enemy.

A real team sets aside its differences to focus on the one “dream” that matters.

7.

Discuss in a large group, or have teens discuss in small groups and record their answers. Answers from the small groups can be shared with the large group after small-group time. Here are the discussion questions: ▶ What “drama” or “ego” (like Iron Man vs. Captain America) do you see that messes up teamwork in your friend groups or on your sports teams? ▶ What do you think is the “mission” for this class? (e.g., to support each other, to be a light at our schools, to grow closer to God). ▶ What is one thing you can do to promote unity in this class and show your support?

8.

Ask the group to share any other examples of teamwork with a unifying mission or goal.

After hearing their answers, share, “Teamwork is not only seen in movies like the Avengers. Think about the Apollo 13 mission.

Their mission was to land on the moon. But halfway there, an explosion crippled their ship. Their mission instantly changed. It was no longer ‘land on the moon.’ The new mission was ‘get these three men home alive.’

They were running out of breathable air. The air filters from the Command Module (which was dead) were square. The filters in the Lunar Module (their ‘lifeboat’) were round. The astronauts were going to suffocate.

Back in Houston, Mission Control was filled with hundreds of different engineers, scientists, and flight controllers. You think they all liked each other? You think they all had the same ideas? No way. But none of that mattered.

Their mission: ‘Build a square peg for a round hole.’

They dumped a box of parts on a table—the exact same items the astronauts had—and had to invent a solution. They set aside all ego and all differences and united around that one mission. They solved the problem, and they brought the astronauts home. That is what a united team can do.”

9.

(optional) Share one or both clips from Apollo 13. After clip(s), discuss takeaways.

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10. Close in a time of prayer.

True Stories That Inspire Materials Needed: • a movie about teamwork that also displays the power of a great leader. Here is a list of suggestions: ▶ Remember the Titans ▶ Miracle ▶ Glory Road ▶ Facing the Giants ▶ Coach Carter ▶ Hidden Figures ▶ Apollo 13 ▶ Stand and Deliver ▶ Arthur the King ▶ 42 ▶ Hoosiers

Instructions: 1.

Show one of the movies.

2.

After watching the movie, discuss takeaways on leadership and teamwork themes.

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FRIENDSHIP

CHAPTER 04 • PAGES 56 - 71

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Building Healthy Friendships • What is a takeaway you had from this chapter?

• Share a time when you were hurting, shared honestly, and then someone said or did something that made you feel worse! What did they say? (So, you can avoid making that same mistake towards others.)

• Recall a time when you were vulnerable in your sharing, and the person who listened to you made you feel comforted and safe. What did they say or do that made you feel you could trust them and that you felt understood?

• Is the phrase, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future,” true? Why or why not?

• Have you ever had a close friend, or a group of friends, that has shaped the way you think or behave? How have you become more like the people you spend time with?

• Why do you think it’s more important to be a good friend before you look for a good friend?

• What are the traits you would love to have in a friend? What kind of people do you need around you to grow better?

• Loneliness is a very real and common feeling. The article on loneliness suggests seeing a lonely season as a “GIFT”—a season to grow, figure out who you are, and get closer to God. It also says to take initiative (like asking friends to hang out or joining a group). What feels harder for you: 1) Being alone and trying to “grow,” or 2) Taking the risk of putting yourself out there and initiating with other people? Why? • When you feel lonely, left out, or even just super bored, what’s your go-to “numb”? (e.g., endless video games, scrolling social media, watching porn). Why is it easier to numb that feeling rather than deal with it? What are some healthier activities one can do when feeling lonely?

ACTIVITIES

Friendship Insights

Materials Needed: • poster paper and a set of colored markers for each teen • access to a laptop or smartphone to research and find Bible verses that talk about friendship, as well as famous quotes about friendship • (optional) an inspirational quote book (that has little verbiage on each page and may be a bit poetic) on friendship, which you can read aloud to the teens

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Instructions: 1. Introduce the lesson by discussing the many facets of friendship and what makes a good, healthy, and loyal friend.

2. Pass out a poster paper and a set of colored markers to each teen.

3. Instruct them to research Bible verses and famous quotes on friendship. After looking at several, they are to pick one that is their favorite - and perhaps one that gave them a new insight they never had before.

4. They are then to write the Bible verse or quote they chose on their poster paper. They may choose to illustrate it if they want to.

5. Give the teens approximately 10-15 minutes for this activity. After everyone has completed their poster, they are to share it with the class and briefly explain why they chose that verse or quote.

6. Encourage the teens to write down a few of their favorites to remind themselves about the value of friendship and to help them reflect on how they can become the kinds of friends to others that they want for themselves.

Display everyone’s poster and commend them for their great work.

7. (optional) Close the time by reading your inspirational, poetic friendship book.

The Listening Ear

Materials Needed: • chart paper • marker

Instructions: 1. Discuss the difficulty in being a good listener—that active listening takes practice and that we must learn the skill and art of listening. We can always grow and improve our listening skills.

2. As a group, brainstorm the actions that a good listener does and doesn’t do (such as eye contact, not being on their phone, etc.) and record their ideas on the chart paper.

3. Share that today you will give them two tools to practice in active listening, which are: ▶ REPHRASING: Learn to rephrase what the person just said in your own words. Example: “What I heard you say was…” ▶ REFLECTING BACK FEELINGS: Use a phrase to affirm and rephrase what you think they are feeling.

Example: “It sounds like you are/were feeling very angry when that happened.”

4. Emphasize that the rule is that they cannot comment, give advice, or say anything else aside from rephrasing or reflecting back feelings. Explain that using these two skills takes focus and effort!

5. Call up a volunteer to partner with you to model what you want them to do. You and your volunteer should face each other while sitting in chairs in front of the group.

Continued

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6. Have the volunteer share about a problem or concern they have. (They can make one up.)

7. As a leader, during the natural pauses in the conversation, rephrase what you are hearing back to the volunteer, such as, “So you are saying that you went to the store and then...” If you want to, you can ask, “Is what I said accurate?”

8. During the activity, reflect their feelings back to them using appropriate phrases such as, “It seems that you are feeling very sad and disappointed about what happened,” or “It sounds like that really caused you to feel anxious.”

9. Have the group break into pairs and have them practice being the listener and the person sharing a problem or concern. Give them 5 minutes (or longer) for each round.

10. Discuss as a group how that experience was for them.

11. Encourage them to practice these two active listening skills in their conversations to help others feel listened to and valued.

The Cave and The Castle: Dealing With Loneliness Materials Needed: • Bibles for each teen

• (optional) journal for each teen

Instructions: 1. Discuss how sometimes, loneliness isn’t a problem you can fix (like with a girlfriend or a new friend group).

Sometimes, it’s a season you have to go through. It’s a “cave” season.

2. Emphasize that feeling lonely and alone is painful, and God understands. Even King David felt such emotions and wrote Psalms about it. Have the teens read Psalm 42, Psalm 25:16-17.

Discuss how we can go to God with our requests and our real and raw emotions.

3. Remind the teens that if and when they find themselves in a “cave” of loneliness, there are two choices: ▶ Dwell on negative thoughts and feel sorry for yourself, numb out, and waste the cave experience. ▶ Ask God to help you see it as a training ground, hold on to hope in God, and know that seasons come to an end. After winter comes spring.

4. If time permits, have the teens read about Joseph’s life in Genesis 39-40. Summarize that he was betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, framed by his boss’s wife, and thrown into a dungeon. He is the definition of alone, forgotten, and betrayed. He’s in the ultimate cave. What does he do? ▶ He doesn’t sulk. He serves. He uses his gifts right where he is. He starts running the prison. He interprets the dreams of the baker and the cupbearer. He spends years in that cave sharpening the gifts that God gave him. ▶ Because he built his character in the “cave,” he was ready when the time came for the “castle” (being secondin-command of all of Egypt). Don’t waste your lonely season. This is your time to build: your body (work out), your mind (learn a skill), and your spirit (get real with God).

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5. Discuss how they can help others who are in the loneliness cave: ▶ What about when your friend is in the cave? He’s depressed, he’s isolating. Your first instinct is to “fix” it.

“Dude, just cheer up! Just come out!” ▶ Look at Job’s friends (Job 2:13). Before they messed it all up with their terrible advice, they did one thing perfectly. “Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.” ▶ Explain that sometimes the most powerful way to help a lonely person is just to sit in the cave with them.

You don’t have to have the answers. You just have to show up. You can text them, “Hey man, just thinking about you.” Or maybe just sit with them awhile, even if in silence. Your presence is the cure. You’re letting them know they’re not in the cave alone.

6. Write the following questions on chart paper up front or on a whiteboard. Have the teens reflect on the following questions for a few minutes, and give them time to privately pray to the Lord with their heads down, AND/OR to journal their reflections if they have journals. ▶ Do you feel like you’re in a “cave” season right now? ▶ Instead of just “numbing,” what’s one way you could “build” in your cave this week? (A skill, a workout, reading the Bible, etc.) ▶ Who’s a friend who seems to be in a “cave”? What’s one simple way you can go “sit in the cave” with him (without even trying to “fix” him)?

7. Close the time in prayer.

The Zacchaeus Game Changer Move Materials Needed: • Bibles for each teen • whiteboard/screen to show a photo of Travis Randolph • (optional) Show YouTube video of the Travis Randolph story (2:38): CBS Mornings. (2016, September 1). Football player’s picture with autistic boy goes viral [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/lk4N7VlzzKE?si=-F7kel6glN4pa2Zq

Instructions: 1. Ask the class, “What feels worse: Failing a math test or seeing an Instagram story of 5 of your friends at a fun activity you weren’t invited to?”

2. After hearing their responses, comment that 9 times out of 10, it’s the fun activity - it’s about being excluded.

Social media is like throwing gasoline on that fire. It’s a 24/7 reminder of everything you’re not part of.

Continued

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3.

As a teacher, share a personal experience of being excluded if you have one. Discuss how, when you feel “left out,” it feels like a judgment on your worth. It’s the world telling you, “You’re not cool enough, not funny enough, not important enough.”

Share, “The problem is you’re letting the wrong people define you. A high school popularity list doesn’t set your worth”; it’s set by God. Ephesians 2:19, NIV says, “You are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people...” In the only group that matters, you are not “left out.” You are a “fellow citizen.” You have a seat at the table!”

4.

Have the teens read about the story of Zacchaeus in Luke 19:1-10. After they finish reading, ask, “What does this tell you about the kind of people Zacchaeus and Jesus were? How did Jesus respond to a lonely man?” Have a time of discussion.

5.

After the discussion, highlight the truth that because you know how much it stings to be left out, you are now perfectly qualified to look out for others. Remind the students that Zacchaeus was a short, corrupt tax collector.

He was the most hated and probably the loneliest man in his entire city. Everyone hated him. What does Jesus do? ▶ Jesus doesn’t just wave. He stops in front of the entire crowd, looks up in the tree, calls him out by name, and says, “Zacchaeus, I’m coming to your house today.” He didn’t just include him; he honored him. He broke every social rule to bring the outcast in. ▶ Emphasize - that’s our move. You know the “Zacchaeus” at your school or on your team.

6.

Introduce the Travis Rudolph Story: (optional) Show a photo of Travis Randolph.

Share, “To show you what real strength looks like, I want to take you back to a middle school cafeteria in Florida a few years ago. It involves a guy named Travis Rudolph.

At the time, Travis was a star wide receiver for Florida State University—a huge Division 1 football player. He was visiting a middle school with his teammates.

He grabs a slice of pizza and walks into the cafeteria. Now picture the scene: a Division 1 athlete walks in. Every kid in that room is staring at him. The ‘cool’ kids are probably waving him over, hoping he’ll sit with them so they can look cool by association.

Travis scans the room and sees a boy named Bo Paske, a boy with autism. Bo was sitting at a table all by himself. He was eating lunch alone, which he did every single day.

So, what does the Star Athlete do? He ignores the popular tables. He walks right over to the empty table, pulls up a chair opposite Bo, and just starts eating pizza and talking to him.

Someone snapped a photo of it, and it went viral. But here is the crazy part: Travis didn’t do it for the photo. He didn’t know anyone was looking. He just saw a guy who was being left out, and he decided to change the dynamic.

He didn’t just sit there; he honored him. By sitting with Bo, he sent a message to the entire school: ‘This guy matters. He’s worth my time.”

7.

(optional) Show the YouTube Video of Travis Randolph

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8.

The “Game Changer” Move Discuss, “Why was that such a power move? Why is it harder to sit with the kid eating alone than to sit with the captain of the team?”

Highlight the Key Takeaway: It’s easy to follow the crowd. It takes confidence to break the social script.

Challenge the students, “Because you guys know how much it stings to be left out, you are now perfectly qualified to look out for others.

I want to teach you ‘The Game Changer Move.’

Do you know the guy at your school or on your team who is like the ‘Bo Paske’? ▶ It might be the new student. ▶ It might be the guy who is a little awkward or eccentric. ▶ It might be the guy everyone ignores or makes fun of.

You are the only person who might have the power to encourage them. You don’t have to become best friends today.

You just have to show basic human respect.”

9.

Share that it is about engaging the person everyone else ignores. Give the teen guys some examples of words they can use to initiate a conversation: ▶ “Hey man, mind if I sit here?” ▶ “What’s up? My name’s [Your Name].” ▶ “Hey, good job in practice today.”

10. Have the group reflect silently. Ask the questions and give ample time for the teens to reflect after each question (approximately 15 seconds): ▶ The Empathy Check: Ask, “When is a time you felt like you were on the outside looking in?” ▶ The Target: “Who is the guy at your school who is usually on the outside?” (The guy everyone looks past). ▶ The Mission: What is one small “Game Changer Move” you could actually do this week? (Even if it’s just a fist bump or asking his name).

11. Closing: End with sharing this statement: “A follower walks into a room and looks for the coolest people to impress.

A leader walks into a room and looks for the lonely people to include. Be a leader.”

12. Close in prayer.

NOTES

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GUYS AND GIRLS

CHAPTER 05 • PAGES 72 - 81

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Honoring Girls and Women • What is your takeaway from this chapter?

• In your family culture, how have you generally observed women being treated by men?

• How have you observed the culture around you, media, and entertainment portray the treatment of women?

• Do you disagree with anything written in these articles? Share any conflicting viewpoints or questions you have.

• In what ways do various world cultures promote negative biases against women? For example, in some cultures, women have fewer human rights and freedoms than men.

• Share about any male role models (if any) that you have in your life who have demonstrated honor towards women. Share examples of honorable behaviors that you have witnessed.

• How has this chapter affected your perspective on how you want to treat the females in your life? What new positive perspectives and attitudes have you gained?

• Is there a woman in your life whom you especially admire and appreciate? Who is this person, and what do you appreciate about her?

• The article on sexual integrity, according to a study, shared that married people have the best and most satisfying sex. Let’s be honest: that is the total opposite of what every movie, song, and social media post tells you. Why do you think our culture is so loud about hookups being awesome and so silent about commitment being better?

• To review, we read that if we just focus on a body, we risk treating people like “objects”—like “shopping for phones or sneakers.” In what ways do you see our culture (social media, movies, pornography) training guys to “shop” for people based on their bodies instead of connecting with them as a whole person (with a personality, dreams, and feelings)?

• The article, “Four Things Girls Wish You Knew,” says that when a girl is venting, guys want to “fix it,” but she just wants you to “listen.” Let’s be real: When someone (a friend, your mom, a girlfriend) is telling you a problem, what’s your first gut instinct? Why do you think our default mode is to “offer a solution” instead of just listening, and why is it so hard to just sit back and not try to fix it?

• This last article presents the “Ten Magic Words” (“I’m sorry. I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”) and advises apologizing before explaining your side. Do you agree that this is a good action step? Why or why not? *Why can it be so difficult to say “I was wrong” first? What makes us want to jump in and defend ourselves or explain why it wasn’t really our fault before we apologize?

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ACTIVITIES

Insightful Interviews Materials Needed: • notepads • pen/pencils • laptops • chart paper and markers for each group

Instructions: 1. Discuss how women can have varied expectations on how they want to be treated by guys. Discuss how some young men and women may not have had good role models on how to treat women respectfully, but it is never too late to learn.

2. Instruct each teen boy to choose 2-3 women (including a girl classmate) to interview for this group assignment. They are to ask them the following questions: (they can add more questions) ▶ As a woman, what actions by a man would cause you to feel disrespected and/or devalued? ▶ Have you experienced being treated with respect and honor by a guy? If so, what specific things did he do that made you feel special and valued? ▶ What advice would you give a teen boy who wants to understand and learn how to honorably treat teen girls and women?

3. The teen guys are to record the answers gathered.

4. Once the interviews are completed and the information is recorded, have the students partner up with one or two other students and record their answers as a team on chart paper.

5. Have a time of group sharing.

6. Discuss the insights gained, and if there were challenges, have them share what they were.

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Materials Needed: • Bible • a physical toolbox with a hammer, wrench, screwdriver, and tape • a pillow or an empty toolbox • cards with various scenarios on them, such as: ▶

“I had the worst day!”

▶ “My parents were disappointed in me.”

▶

“My friend ignored me at lunch, and I think she’s mad, but I don’t know why.”

▶ “Someone made fun of me online.”

▶

“I failed a pop quiz.”

▶ “I didn’t get invited to the party.”

▶ “I didn’t get picked for the team.”

▶ “I tried my best, but it wasn’t enough.” ▶ “I froze during my presentation.”

▶ “I messed up during practice.”

The Toolbox: Listening Vs. Fixing Instructions: 1. Review with the class that when a girl is venting, she’s usually not looking for a “fixer”; she’s looking for a “listener.” Your urge to offer solutions often feels like a dismissal of her feelings.

2. Bring out the physical toolbox filled with tools: hammer, screwdriver, wrench, and tape. Lay out the four tools for the class to see. Explain that each of these tools symbolically represents a way to respond to the girl who said the comment.

3. Ask a volunteer to come up and pick and read a simple “vent” scenario from a card: ▶ Once he reads a venting statement, ask the group: “Which tool do you use?” ▶ The guys may say: “Hammer! Just tell the friend off.”

“Screwdriver! You need to organize your notes better.”

“Wrench! You need to force a conversation!”

“Tape!” Just change the subject and don’t say anything about what she just said. ▶ Repeat these steps several times, using different scenarios on the cards.

4. After they’ve thrown out a bunch of “fixes,” you hold up the one tool you didn’t put in the box (or that you had hidden): a pillow or a simple, empty box.

5. The reframe: “You’re all trying to fix it. You’re using the wrong tools. She doesn’t have a project for you; she has a problem she needs to get out of her head. She’s not looking for a hammer. She’s looking for a ‘box’ to put her feelings in for a minute or a ‘pillow’ to punch. Listening is the solution.”

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6. Discuss with the group, “Why is our first instinct as guys to ‘fix’ a problem instead of just listening to it?”

7. Explain that the article “Four Things Girls Wish You Knew” (Marion’s tip) suggests a helpful action step: repeat back what she said.

Have the group practice using the following prompts: If a girl says, “I’m so overwhelmed with my schedule,” what don’t you say? (e.g., “You should use a calendar.”)

What do you say? (e.g., “Wow, it sounds like you have way too much on your plate right now.”)

Have teens share possible responses to prompts, such as : ▶ “I’m so angry at my mom for….” ▶ “I feel so bummed that I failed my test!” ▶ “I’m so excited I won!” ▶ “I’m stressed out because I need to get this done by the deadline!” ▶ “I’m fuming angry at the way my friend talked to me!”

8. Why does “just listening” feel so passive or “unhelpful” to us, even though the article says it’s exactly what she wants?

9. Read aloud James 1:19, NIV – “...Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Discuss how we often think this is just about not sinning. It’s also one of the best pieces of advice in the entire Bible. Your ability to just be “quick to listen” shows more strength than having all the answers.”

Materials Needed: • two poster chart sheets per pair of teens • one marker per pairLaptops • Bible

The Movie Man Vs. The Honoring Man Instructions: 1. Discuss how our culture’s idea of a “man” is about getting (getting respect, getting the girl, getting money), but God’s idea of a “man” is about giving (giving honor, giving protection, and giving of himself ).

2. Have the class break up into pairs and give each pair two chart papers and a marker. Explain that they will work together to brainstorm ideas as you guide them on the topic.

3. Instruct the teams to label Poster 1: “THE ‘MOVIE’ MAN.” Ask the pairs: “When movies or social media show a ‘real man,’ what’s he like?”

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Instruct the pairs to brainstorm and write down their ideas on the chart paper. You’ll get stuff like: tough, rich, drives a fast car, always gets the girl, self-reliant, powerful, the ‘alpha’, etc.

4. After 5 minutes or so have passed, instruct each pair to label Poster 2: “THE ‘HONORING’ MAN.” Now, say: “The article gives a different definition. A ‘brave and bold man’ isn’t about what he can get, but how he can support, honor, and serve.”

Instruct the pairs to brainstorm and write down traits of an honoring, godly young man: a servant-leader, one who protects the weak, one who stands for justice, one who has integrity (keeps his word), one who honors women, and one who stands up for what’s right (even if it’s unpopular).

5. As a large group, have a representative from each pair come up and tape their MOVIE MAN chart paper to the wall in front of the class. Go over the answers.

6. Then, have a representative for the pairs come up and tape their HONORING MAN chart paper up front, perhaps under the MOVIE MAN poster, so you see each of their two posters side-by-side.

7. Ask the group if they have any observations about the MOVIE MAN and HONORING MAN attributes.

8. After hearing observations, you can summarize by saying, “Look at these two. The ‘Movie Man’ is 100% about himself. It’s all about what he can get. The ‘Honoring Man’ is about others. It’s about what he can give.

9. In the article “Honoring Women,” the author spoke with women in Taiwan. Ask, “Which guy do you think they actually wanted? It wasn’t the ‘Movie Man.’ It was the “Honoring Man.” That was the ‘whoa’ moment for him.”

10. Discuss with the group: ▶ Be honest, which poster looks more fun or more appealing at first glance? Why? ▶ The article describes the “Honoring Man” as someone who isn’t motivated by what he can get from a woman. What does the “Movie Man” want to get from women? ▶ What’s one situation at school this week where you could be the “Honoring Man” instead of just trying to “look cool” (the “Movie Man”)?

11. Read aloud Mark 10:45, NIV: “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Jesus was the strongest man who ever lived, and His model wasn’t the “Movie Man.” It was the “Brave Man”—the servant-leader—and this also relates to how we can honor the women in our lives.”

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NOTES

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HE PROTECTS

CHAPTER 06 • PAGES 82 - 99

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Guarding, Defending, and Supporting Others • What is your takeaway from this chapter?

• It is important to be a guardian of your own heart—protecting your mind and emotions. But let’s flip it: What does it look like to be a “Heart Guardian” for your friends? What are the main “dangers” or “negative influences” you see that attack the hearts (the self-worth, the emotions) of your friends?

• Proverbs 4:23 talks about guarding your heart as a top priority. If your friend is “following their heart” straight into a “messy, stressful situation” (like a toxic relationship or a bad crowd), what does it actually look like to “defend” or “protect” them? How do you do that without being controlling? What are some possible outcomes you should prepare yourself for in case they reject your advice or concerns?

• The article on manipulation gives clear “Warning Signs” for physical and emotional abuse (like a violent temper, cruelty to animals, or someone being super controlling). What’s your first gut reaction when you see a friend or classmate in a relationship where these red flags are popping up? What’s the fear that holds you back from doing something, and what would it actually look like to be a protector in that situation - what are the action steps you can take?

• What’s the difference between being a respectful “protector” and being a “patronizing” guy who’s acting like she can’t take care of herself?

• Respecting boundaries is key in honoring and protecting others. 1 Corinthians 13 describes love and not forcing or insisting on your own way. When is it the hardest for you to not “insist on your own way”? (Like when a friend doesn’t want to hang out, a parent won’t change a rule, or in a dating relationship). Why does hearing “no” sometimes feel like a personal rejection instead of just a boundary?

• This chapter talked about needing to be brave and use your “no” to set your own boundaries (against peer pressure, drugs, etc.). What do you think is harder for most guys: hearing “no” from someone else, or saying “no” to a group of friends when you don’t want to do something? Why? • Why is it so hard for many guys to handle hearing “no” without getting defensive, and how does this “protector” mindset change how one should react?

• How can gossip damage someone’s reputation, mental health, or sense of belonging—even if it seems harmless?

Have you ever seen real consequences from rumors or talking behind someone’s back?

• What’s the difference between joking, venting, and gossiping?

How can you tell when conversation crosses a line?

• What’s one practical way you could stop gossip in your circle without looking weak or starting conflict?

What could real leadership look like in that moment?

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ACTIVITIES

The Two Sided Mirror Materials Needed: • blank index card for each teen • pens • chart paper or whiteboard, marker

Instructions: 1. Discuss how it’s easy to spot manipulation when it’s pointed at us (a “window”), but we’re often blind to it in ourselves (a “mirror”). We manipulate when we’re insecure.

2. Pass out blank index cards to every guy.

3. Instruct them to write down anonymously one thing that makes guys our age feel insecure or afraid. What’s a core fear?”

4. Collect the cards. Read them aloud. (You’ll get answers like: Being rejected, looking stupid, being left out, not being good enough, being seen as weak, getting in trouble.)

5. Write these fears on a whiteboard or chart paper.

6. Share, “Look at this list. This isn’t a list of ‘manipulators.’ This is a list of human beings. This list of fears is the ‘fuel’ for manipulation. We don’t manipulate because we’re ‘evil.’ We manipulate because we’re afraid.”

7. Share, “Let’s connect the dots.”

8. When people fear ‘being left out,’ they can use a guilt trip to control their friends by saying things like: “Fine, just go without me.”

Share a few more examples: ▶ When you fear ‘looking stupid,’ you could use put-downs to make someone else look dumber. ▶ When you fear ‘being rejected,’ you may become clingy or controlling toward a friend. ▶ When you fear ‘getting in trouble,’ you lie or blame your sibling to control your parents.

9. Discuss how guarding yourself from others means spotting when they’re acting out of their fear. Guarding yourself from yourself means admitting when you’re acting out of your fear.

10. Discuss how we need the Lord’s help in knowing our own hearts. Read Jeremiah 17:9, NIV - “The heart is deceitful above all things...” We are experts at lying to ourselves. We call our manipulation “protecting ourselves” or “just trying to help.” We need God to show us the truth.

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11. Discuss with the group: Why is it so easy to spot a “guilt trip” when your friend does it, but so hard to see it when you maybe do it to your parents to get your way?

Look at the “fear list” on the board. Which fear do you think causes the most manipulation in relationships in your school?

What’s the honest (non-manipulative) way to say what you’re feeling? (e.g., Instead of a guilt trip, you just say, “Man, I’m feeling left out.”) Why is that so much harder?

The Shield or The Weapon: Protector or Predator?

Materials Needed: • chart paper or whiteboard with a marker

• soft plastic balls, papers crunched into balls, or socks tied in a knot or made into a ball

Instructions: 1. Ask for two volunteers: one “Target” and one “Shield” (preferably one of your bigger guys) to come up to the front of the room.

2. Give a few other guys in the audience some soft dodgeballs or wadded-up paper/socks.

3. Tell the group their job is to gently toss the balls at the “Target.” The “Shield’s” only job is to stand in front of the “Target” and block the “hits.” He can’t throw anything back. He just has to take the hits.

4. After 30 seconds, stop and have everyone sit.

5. Ask the “Shield”: “What was your job?” (To protect, to get in the way, to use my size).

6. Ask the “Target”: “What did it feel like to have someone protecting you?” (Good, safe).

7. Discuss how a predator uses his strength as a weapon—to get what he wants, to intimidate, to force, to make people afraid, or to show off. A protector uses his strength as a shield—to serve, to defend, and to make others feel safe.

8. Discuss how this isn’t just physical. How do you use your voice (social strength)? A predator uses his voice as a weapon (gossip, insults, crude jokes, tearing people down). A protector uses his voice as a shield (shutting down gossip, sticking up for the kid being roasted, defending someone’s reputation when they’re not in the room).

9. Draw a simple T-Chart on a whiteboard or chart paper. Label one side “PREDATOR” and the other “PROTECTOR.” 10. Ask the group: “When you think of a predator (like a wolf or a shark), what words or images come to mind?” (Answers: selfish, hunts the weak, uses things, thinks only of its own needs, manipulative, “what can I get?”). Write these on the “Predator” side.

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11. Ask: “When you think of a protector (like a bodyguard, a soldier, or a good older brother), what words come to mind?”

(Answers: selfless, defends others, strong, puts others first, “how can I help?”, “what can I give?”). Write these on the “Protector” side.

12. Think of skinny Steve Rogers (Captain America). He was a hero before the muscles because he had a protector’s heart. His line was, “I don’t like bullies.” That’s the heart of a protector.

13. Ask the teens, “What’s harder for you—using your strength to win (a weapon) or using it to serve (a shield)?” Encourage them to be honest.

14. Discuss how true strength isn’t using people for what you want; it’s protecting them.

15. Close with a reading aloud of Ephesians 5:25, which says that Christ “gave himself up for” the church. He had all the power in the universe, and He used it to be the ultimate shield, taking the hit for us. That is our model of manhood.

16. Close in prayer.

“Good Gossip” Hot Seat Materials Needed: • a chair placed at the front of the room (the “Hot Seat”)

Instructions: 1. Begin by explaining the definition of gossip from the text: sharing information about a person when they aren’t around.

2. Ask for one volunteer who you will have sit in the Hot Seat with their back to the group (as if they “aren’t there”).

3. Explain that the rest of the group must “gossip” about the person in the chair, but they are only allowed to share positive, uplifting things or “good gossip.”

If it is a fairly small group, consider giving each person a chance to sit in the Ho Seat. If you have a large class, you could do this activity a few times to give the teens practice in ‘good gossip.’

4. Reflection: After everyone has a turn, discuss how it felt to hear good things being said behind their back versus the “helpless and powerless” feeling of negative gossip.

Ask: “How does the idea of ‘good gossip’—sharing positive, uplifting things behind someone’s back—change the way people might view you as a leader?”

5. Challenge the guys to pick one friend this week to “good gossip” about to someone else.

Continued

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The “Shut It Down” Roleplay Materials Needed: • index cards with the “Tips For What to Say” from the article written on them

Instructions: 1. Create a few “bro-gossip” scenarios (e.g., “Did you hear why [Name] got kicked off the team?” or “I heard [Name] cheated on the history final”).

2. Roleplay: Have two guys start gossiping about a fictional third person. A third guy must enter the conversation and use one of the scripts from the article to shut it down. ▶ Script A: “I don’t think that’s true... they’ve always been kind to me”. ▶ Script B: “Maybe we shouldn’t talk about them since they aren’t here”. ▶ Script C: “I wouldn’t like it if you said that about me”. ▶ Script D: Are you sure that happened? That doesn’t sound like something that person would do.”

3. Discuss which phrase felt the most natural and which felt the “coolest” to say. Remind them that standing up for someone brings “life” to the situation.

Ask the group to share any additional helpful phrases to stop gossip, or how to better personalize the phrases shared in the article.

Ask, “The author quotes Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV) that says, ‘Death and life are in the power of the tongue.’ How can a rumor actually ‘bring death’ to someone’s reputation or a friendship?”

Discuss, “The article notes that you will still encounter gossip even after you grow up. How can practicing these responses now help you become the kind of man people can actually trust later?”

NOTES

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